Speaker 1: Countdown with Keith Olderman is a production of iHeartRadio. How
Speaker 1: do you unseat a Senate Democratic leader asking for a democracy?
Speaker 1: On the one hand, it is impossible. On the other hand,
Speaker 1: it could be done in about forty eight minutes. There
Speaker 1: is no process to force the Democrats to conduct a
Speaker 1: new Senate leadership vote, even though by one measure, Chuck
Speaker 1: Schumer would lose such a vote thirty seven to ten,
Speaker 1: which is what he lost the vote in his own
Speaker 1: party in his suicidal decision to enable Musk and Trump
Speaker 1: to proceed unchecked as they rape the government and the
Speaker 1: laws and the budget and the nation for the six months.
Speaker 1: Democratic Party rules only mandate leadership elections with the start
Speaker 1: of each new Congress. The last one was December third,
Speaker 1: The one before that was December eighth, twenty twenty two.
Speaker 1: The next one would be the third, eighth or tenth
Speaker 1: of December twenty twenty six. The only way there would
Speaker 1: be a new Democratic Party leadership election would be if
Speaker 1: Schumer resigned or is forced to. On the other hand,
Speaker 1: if the thirty six Democrats and the independent who broke
Speaker 1: with Schumer in this catastrophe were to simply form their
Speaker 1: own caucus and elect their own leader just to pick
Speaker 1: a name at random. Chris Murphy of Connecticut Chuck Schumer
Speaker 1: would be minority leader in name only. The risk of this,
Speaker 1: of course, is a total fracture of the Democratic Party
Speaker 1: inside the Senate and out of it, and the prospect
Speaker 1: of an idiot like Fetterman or an invisible senator like
Speaker 1: Jillibrand actually caucusing with the Republicans. On the other hand,
Speaker 1: the only advantage of having forty seven non Trumpists instead
Speaker 1: of thirty six non Trumpists or thirty seven non Trumpists
Speaker 1: is that you could do things like stop Kloture on
Speaker 1: the six month Musk Indemnification and Continuing Resolution bill. Except
Speaker 1: your gutless, spineless, useless, clueless minority leader doesn't do that
Speaker 1: and instead collaborates with the party of the insane dictator.
Speaker 1: If he's not going to use forty seven votes, what's
Speaker 1: the difference if he only has thirty seven votes or
Speaker 1: if his successor only has thirty seven votes. Here is
Speaker 1: the process as I understand it. Create the new Democrats
Speaker 1: or Democrats two point zero, or the new Zoo Review
Speaker 1: or the new Christy minstrels, doesn't matter. Just position them
Speaker 1: as the actual minority in the Senate, they have the
Speaker 1: second most votes. Point out to sh Schumer, he is
Speaker 1: now leader of the third party in the Senate, and
Speaker 1: if he does not resign as Democratic leader, you will
Speaker 1: not let him join your new caucus, and you won't
Speaker 1: let the other losers in either. Senator Murphy, for one,
Speaker 1: is not leading this revolt, not any way at the moment.
Speaker 1: On NBC yesterday, do you think that Leader Schumer is
Speaker 1: the best person to lead your caucus in this moment,
Speaker 1: Senator Murphy. Senator Schumer certainly can lead this caucus, NBC,
Speaker 1: would you consider that role? Murphy? I don't think anybody's
Speaker 1: having that conversation right now right now, but the American
Speaker 1: people certainly aren't having that conversation right now. The Democratic
Speaker 1: Party certainly is having that conversation right The f now
Speaker 1: CNN poll yesterday, Democrats and Democratic leading Independence now say
Speaker 1: fifty seven to forty two percent that Democrats should mainly
Speaker 1: work to stop the Trump agenda, not work with the
Speaker 1: GOP just to get some of their own ideas into
Speaker 1: legislation fifty seven to forty two. The NBC poll asks
Speaker 1: the same question in a different way. Should Democrats stick
Speaker 1: to their positions, even if that risks sacrificing by partisan progress.
Speaker 1: The answer is yes, sixty five to thirty two. Eight
Speaker 1: years ago that poll came in No. Fifty nine to
Speaker 1: thirty three. It went from thirty three to fifty nine
Speaker 1: to sixty five thirty two. And these new polls, these landslides,
Speaker 1: these are before what Schumer did last Friday. God knows
Speaker 1: how bad these numbers are now, but whatever they are,
Speaker 1: they actually add up to just one thing. Chuck Schumer
Speaker 1: is done if the Democratic Senators want him done, or
Speaker 1: if the Democratic Party explains to them that Schumer is done,
Speaker 1: if they explain this in public loudly, immediately. Discretion is
Speaker 1: the better part of valor, or at least fear is
Speaker 1: the better part of valor. And all day yesterday I
Speaker 1: kept waiting to hear that the start of Chuck Schumer's
Speaker 1: book tour tonight in Baltimore had been postponed or canceled,
Speaker 1: or he had laryngitis, where they had forgotten to ship
Speaker 1: the books, or print the books or write the books.
Speaker 1: But if Schumer could actually make a career ending and
Speaker 1: maybe a democracy ending decision like he did on the
Speaker 1: Musk indemnification and continuing Resolution Bill. Why wouldn't he be
Speaker 1: stupid enough to walk out at the Central Library in
Speaker 1: Baltimore tonight so he can get booed off the stage.
Speaker 1: Some people one day just run out of smart. Chuck
Speaker 1: Schumer live tonight in Baltimore, Live at Politics and Pros
Speaker 1: at sixth and I in DC. Wednesday night, live at
Speaker 1: the Weitzman Museum in DC, Thursday afternoon, live at the
Speaker 1: Moss Theater in Santa Monica Sunday. Or this event has
Speaker 1: been unexpectedly canceled. There will be no Chuck Schumer and
Speaker 1: there will be no refunds. I hope now three days
Speaker 1: after they each lit themselves on fire, only to discover
Speaker 1: it just wasn't enough for insane Dictator Trump, I hope
Speaker 1: soon to be former leader one way or the other.
Speaker 1: Schumer and Senators Fetterman and Jillibrand and the others who
Speaker 1: sold out the democracy and more immediately their colleagues in
Speaker 1: the House. And I hope the executives at MSNBC who
Speaker 1: remember fired or demoted all the hosts of Color, and
Speaker 1: the executives at CNN who thought they could hold insane
Speaker 1: Dictator Trump at bay. I hope they have all understood
Speaker 1: where we are, and in particular way, where they are
Speaker 1: here is where we are. Donald Trump is insane. There
Speaker 1: is only one path through his insanity towards restoring America
Speaker 1: as a democracy, as a nation independent of Putin, as
Speaker 1: a place not to be ashamed of. It is to
Speaker 1: destroy Trump's presidency. Destroy his presidency. Nothing else will stop him.
Speaker 1: His last remaining human emotion is vengeance. And nothing you do,
Speaker 1: no matter how horrish, pandering, obvious, remorseful, no matter how
Speaker 1: much money or ky jelly covered praise it contains, we'll
Speaker 1: register with him. He wants to destroy you, He wants
Speaker 1: to destroy the country, but he wants Schumer, MSNBC, CNN.
Speaker 1: He wants to destroy you, guys.
Speaker 2: And I believe that CNN and MSDNC, who literally write
Speaker 2: ninety seven point six percent bad about mere political arms
Speaker 2: of the Democrat Party, And in my opinion, they're really
Speaker 2: corrupt and they're illegal.
Speaker 3: What they do is illegal.
Speaker 1: So hey, CNN, how's letting that pimp Scott Jennings take
Speaker 1: over prime time? Working out for you? Insane dictator? Trump
Speaker 1: basically told the DOJ Friday afternoon, arrest CNN, good thing,
Speaker 1: Tapper and Bash that you didn't fact check him in
Speaker 1: the debate last year. Backstage at the DOJ, Trump probably
Speaker 1: mentioned the two of you by name. I'd rather have
Speaker 1: a questioning audience, said CNN's Chris Licked two point zero.
Speaker 1: He's British. His name is Mark Thompson at an event
Speaker 1: on trust in the media on the first of this month.
Speaker 1: I think we should draw our eyes about the loss
Speaker 1: of traditional trust. Congratulations, Lord Thompson, you have succeeded now.
Speaker 1: Nobody trusts CNN, not your former audience, not others in
Speaker 1: news media, and obviously not Trump and his terrorists. Cell Actually,
Speaker 1: I take that last part back. All of us, Trump included,
Speaker 1: can trust CNN to do the wrong thing. And as
Speaker 1: to Schumer, I really wonder if he will be stupid
Speaker 1: enough to go out in public tonight or on the
Speaker 1: rest of his tour, because a man in his position
Speaker 1: can be that stupid can convince themselves. They won't protest me.
Speaker 1: I'm the leader of the party in the Senate. He
Speaker 1: can convince themselves. This is just an extreme version of
Speaker 1: traditional politics that Trump is enacting, and not a slow
Speaker 1: motion replay of January sixth, only with the brute force
Speaker 1: added of law enforcement and bureaucracy. People like Schumer can
Speaker 1: convince themselves. People may be mad at him, or they
Speaker 1: were mad at him last week, but they're not that
Speaker 1: mad and they're certainly not that mad at him this week. Chuck,
Speaker 1: we are that mad at you. I don't think you
Speaker 1: should resign a Senate Democratic leader. I think you should
Speaker 1: resign from the Senate and Jillibrand with you. This is war.
Speaker 1: It is a non shooting war. God help us, maybe
Speaker 1: only for now. And Schumer is clueless, weak, selfish, arrogant,
Speaker 1: and worst of all, myopic to try to finesse his
Speaker 1: criminally incorrect vote on this, to hide the intention of
Speaker 1: his vote to be General George B. McClellan when we
Speaker 1: need General ulysses ask goddamned grant and to sell out
Speaker 1: the House Democrats. It's unforgivable. It is literally unforgivable. There
Speaker 1: is no path back for Chuck Schumer. Powell's Central Library,
Speaker 1: four hundred Cathedral Street, Baltimore, Maryland, seven pm. Be there, Aloha,
Speaker 1: And what did Chuck Schumer get out of this? What
Speaker 1: can be carved on his political tombstone? He ended his
Speaker 1: career pleasing Trump. Congratulations to Chuck Schumer for doing the
Speaker 1: right thing took quote guts un quote and courage the
Speaker 1: big tax cuts, LA firefix, debt ceiling bill, and so
Speaker 1: much more is coming. We should all work together on
Speaker 1: that very dangerous situation. A non pass would be a
Speaker 1: country destroyer. Approval will lead us to new heights again,
Speaker 1: really good and smart move by Senator Schumer. This could
Speaker 1: lead to something big for the USA, a whole new
Speaker 1: direction and beginning exclamation point. Does it worry you at all?
Speaker 1: Chuck that? Twenty four hours after that statement, insane, Dictator
Speaker 1: Trump's lawyers told a federal court he has an inherent
Speaker 1: right under Article to to deport anybody immigrant or otherwise
Speaker 1: on what he and he alone says, our national security grounds.
Speaker 1: And does it worry you? Chuck that? Twelve hours before
Speaker 1: he praised you for doing the right thing. Twelve hours
Speaker 1: before that, Donald Trump decided you are no longer Jewish.
Speaker 2: And Schumer is a Palestinian as far as I'm concerned.
Speaker 1: You know, he's become a Palestinian. He is to be Jewish.
Speaker 2: He's not Jewish anymore.
Speaker 1: He's a Palestinian. Okay, ah, yeah, but he's never gonna
Speaker 1: do something like that again, not as long as he
Speaker 1: thinks he owns you because you did something he desperately
Speaker 1: needed you to do, and you were the only one
Speaker 1: who could do it, and so now he might as
Speaker 1: well own you, or I don't know to port you.
Speaker 1: You know what you do when somebody says that about you, chuck,
Speaker 1: You ask for a meeting with him, a photo op,
Speaker 1: and when the cameras are all rolling, then you kick
Speaker 1: him in the balls and you take the consequences. You
Speaker 1: don't make a deal with him the next day, selling
Speaker 1: out the people who put you in office. Politicos sometimes
Speaker 1: uses anonymous sources irresponsibly, but I'm not sure that's the
Speaker 1: case here. They often also look through the wrong end
Speaker 1: of the telescope, and I'm not sure that's the case
Speaker 1: here either. Quote one Democratic senator granted anonymity to share
Speaker 1: private discussions, said conversations are starting about whether Schumer should
Speaker 1: be their leader going forward. There's a lot of concern
Speaker 1: about the failure to have a plan and execute on it,
Speaker 1: the senator said. It's not like you couldn't figure out
Speaker 1: that this is what was going to happen behind closed doors.
Speaker 1: Even some longtime Schumer allies are raising the specter that
Speaker 1: his time has passed. Quote. Biden is gone, Pelosi is
Speaker 1: in the background. Schumer is the last one left from
Speaker 1: that older generation, said one New York based donor who
Speaker 1: is a long I'm supporter of a leader. I do
Speaker 1: worry that the older generation thinks twenty twenty four was
Speaker 1: just about inflation. But no, the game has changed. It's
Speaker 1: not left wing or moderate. It's everyone now saying the
Speaker 1: game is different now. But he was set up to
Speaker 1: battle in two thousand and six, and we're a long
Speaker 1: way from two thousand and six. Or, as the Hollywood
Speaker 1: writer director Mike Samonek wrote, much more succinctly, I don't
Speaker 1: want to say the Schumer optics are bad, but Gavin
Speaker 1: Newsom just invited him on his podcast. There are two
Speaker 1: other polling notes from those polls. Yesterday. The CNN one
Speaker 1: asked Democrats to pick the leader who quote best reflects
Speaker 1: the core values of the party. Aoc Is at the
Speaker 1: top at ten percent, Kamala at nine, Bernie at eight,
Speaker 1: a King Jeffreys at six, Jasmine Krocket at four, Obama
Speaker 1: at four. Oh yeah, Obama, Remember Obama. I'm sure he'll
Speaker 1: be dropping a protest playlist any day, soon after he
Speaker 1: does his hoops bracket Chuck Schumer. Chuck Schumer is at
Speaker 1: two percent. No One the choice no One is at
Speaker 1: thirty percent. AOC has five times Schumer's support. No One
Speaker 1: has fifteen times Schumer's support, and Schumer at two percent
Speaker 1: is tied with Elyssa Slotkin. The other poll, Trump's favorability
Speaker 1: among all voters is already four points underwater and twelve
Speaker 1: underwater on the economy. I mean, how do you f
Speaker 1: this up in both directions, Chuck? Just as Trump begins
Speaker 1: to drown on the economy, and just as Elon Musk
Speaker 1: was retweeting somebody who wrote Stalin Mao and Hitler didn't
Speaker 1: murder millions of people, their public sector workers did, and
Speaker 1: even in the White House, Musk was seen to be imploding.
Speaker 1: And then, in response to that imploding, the White House
Speaker 1: itself managed to implode and attack the racist Musk by
Speaker 1: going even more racist than him. Musk blithely tells Cudlow
Speaker 1: Scotchy Scotchy scotch on Fox Business about cutting entitlements. In
Speaker 1: her Red Letter newsletter, Tara Palmery writes, even though Trump's
Speaker 1: staffers are terrified of Musk, they know that if you
Speaker 1: try to cut social Security, Medicare, and Medicaid you die
Speaker 1: politically speaking. Quote, it's no longer simmer r resistance. People
Speaker 1: are effing furious. Set a source with knowledge of the situation,
Speaker 1: and then comes the the coup de lack of grass. Quote.
Speaker 1: Medicaid is not just for black people in the ghetto.
Speaker 1: These are our voters. Unquote. Set a Republican operative close
Speaker 1: to the White House. How is that not the quote
Speaker 1: on the lips of every Democrat in this country today?
Speaker 1: Medicaid is not just for black people in the ghetto.
Speaker 1: Set a Republican operative close to the White House. These
Speaker 1: are our voters. How is it not the quote on
Speaker 1: every Democrat's lip today? Two words Chuck Schumer or maybe
Speaker 1: the quote from that little TOWRP. Marco Rubio, who, like Schumer,
Speaker 1: actually thought he could bargain with Trump and instead wound
Speaker 1: up having to be the front man for the first
Speaker 1: assault on freedom of speech and extra legal extraditions and
Speaker 1: now having to expel the duly appointed South African ambassador
Speaker 1: to the United States because Elon wants to make apartheid
Speaker 1: great again. Rubio had to call South Africa's ambassador Rasoul
Speaker 1: quote a race baiting politician who hates America, who is
Speaker 1: no longer welcome here because Rasoul gave a speech Friday
Speaker 1: in which he said Trump was quote mobilizing white supremacy
Speaker 1: in the US and abroad as well. So what's your
Speaker 1: complain about that, little Marco? Trump is mobilizing white supremacy
Speaker 1: in the US, and so is Musk, And so Marco,
Speaker 1: are you you complicit? Little shit? And by the way,
Speaker 1: a race baiting politician who hates America and is no
Speaker 1: longer welcome here, Marco, since that also describes Trump, does
Speaker 1: this mean you're going to expel Trump? Because somebody is
Speaker 1: damn well, gonna have to also of interest here. I'm
Speaker 1: under the weather, so this will be kind of short today.
Speaker 1: But the worst person's list is the never ending feast.
Speaker 1: And as the world collapses and Trump openly ignores the
Speaker 1: courts and starts deporting people illegally. Yesterday, guess what the
Speaker 1: lead story was at Politico. The tone of a DC
Speaker 1: dinner for reporters, the tone, I swear to God, ah,
Speaker 1: there's nothing fatally wrong with our media political industrial complex.
Speaker 1: Now that's next urseless countdown. This is countdown with Keith
Speaker 1: Olberman still ahead on countdown when I'm sick. I always
Speaker 1: think of my craziest visit to the doctor ever I
Speaker 1: was twenty one ish and the somewhat surprising outcome. So
Speaker 1: my face stuck to the side of the train and
Speaker 1: they had to help me break free from the window.
Speaker 1: Like that's never happened to you first, believe it or not.
Speaker 1: There's still more new idiots to talk about. The daily
Speaker 1: roundup of the misgrints, morons and dunning Kruger effects specimens
Speaker 1: who constitute today's other worst persons in the world. Here
Speaker 1: are the nominees, the Bronze Worse Potigo. I know I
Speaker 1: praised them earlier. Like Trump, this only lasts three to
Speaker 1: four minutes. That's as much time as it's going to
Speaker 1: buy you. Illegal deportations, US citizens being locked up because
Speaker 1: they were born somewhere else and were told JA I
Speaker 1: was sick. I'm going to leave that in for evidence
Speaker 1: illegal deportations US citizens being locked up because no, I
Speaker 1: really did leave that in because they were born somewhere
Speaker 1: else and we're returning to the country. Elon Musk still
Speaker 1: eluding the much needed tranquilizing Dart Schumer imploding, and the
Speaker 1: lead item in Sunday's Politico playbook newsletter The grid Iron
Speaker 1: Dinner Saturday night in Washington. The grid Iron Dinner, despite
Speaker 1: the name, that's a journalism event, and to be fair,
Speaker 1: Politico is about about Washington and about journalism about Washington.
Speaker 1: I know that's not always evident from what they write,
Speaker 1: especially with the drama constantly surrounding the people who work
Speaker 1: there and the new fascist owners from Europe. But do
Speaker 1: you think once, just once, you could lead with the
Speaker 1: earth shattering news like if Schumer is going to be deposed,
Speaker 1: or if there are planes full of people who have
Speaker 1: a legal right to be here who have been illegally
Speaker 1: deported by the insane dictator of the United States, instead
Speaker 1: of a few words about the e FFing grid Iron Dinner.
Speaker 1: Twenty six paragraphs about the grid Iron Dinner. The first
Speaker 1: twenty six paragraphs of your newsletter, scrolling, scrolling, scrolling. I'll
Speaker 1: get to the news somewhere, scrolling, scrolling, scrolling, Politico, twenty
Speaker 1: six paragraphs about the grid Iron Dinner and how they
Speaker 1: didn't toast the President. I will confess I am sufficiently
Speaker 1: under the weather that when I first read they toasted
Speaker 1: the president, my mood cheered briefly, Where's the photo of
Speaker 1: that Holy crap. I also realized that for a couple
Speaker 1: of years I have been mistakenly telling people that it
Speaker 1: was at the grid Iron Dinner that Dick Cheney as
Speaker 1: vice president made that joke about me that I still love.
Speaker 1: It wasn't at the grid Iron dinner. It was at
Speaker 1: the radio and TV correspondence dinner. And yes, if it's
Speaker 1: a Saturday, there is another Journalismalism dinner in DC. Since
Speaker 1: you asked, I'll just well, I was going to read
Speaker 1: the way adwe covered it, but you know the clip
Speaker 1: is on YouTube, so in case you don't know it.
Speaker 3: Moe's blog is titled Moe Rock a one to eighty
Speaker 3: only half as tedious as the regular News. Among his
Speaker 3: other credits, Moe used to host a TV show called
Speaker 3: Things I Hate About You. I'm sure I've seen that program,
Speaker 3: only I believe it's now called Countdown with Keith Overman.
Speaker 3: Keith's not here tonight to savor my company.
Speaker 1: But we roared now. I'm Jack Tarynian I's a joke
Speaker 1: about Keith Olderman. Anyway, The point of this was the
Speaker 1: first twenty six paragraphs on a Dinner like That about
Speaker 1: jokes like that. The first twenty six man not the
Speaker 1: like six paragraphs of headlines and then twenty six paragraphs
Speaker 1: about the Gridiron dinner, but the first twenty six paragraphs
Speaker 1: underscoring this fact. The night they finally kidnap all the
Speaker 1: reporters off the streets, the last thing every Washington correspondent
Speaker 1: will file is a piece about what their friends were
Speaker 1: wearing at the time they were disappeared. The runner up
Speaker 1: worser Alina Habba, Official Administration nit wit. I've said it
Speaker 1: so many times, you can say it with me. The
Speaker 1: future and survival of democracy depends less on our strenuous
Speaker 1: efforts to preserve it than it does on the stupidity
Speaker 1: of those who intend to destroy it. That is being
Speaker 1: tested now. But as long as we have the Secretary
Speaker 1: of knit wittedness, Alna Habba, I believe we will prevail
Speaker 1: after we get rid of Schumer. Alina Haba responding to
Speaker 1: something or another about about the attempts to stop human
Speaker 1: extortion and trafficking. And I don't know if they were claiming,
Speaker 1: I don't know who they're claiming the Pope is a trap.
Speaker 1: I don't know who they were claiming. There was a
Speaker 1: trafficker and Alena Haba writes, thank you, let's pray for
Speaker 1: the many victims of human extortion as a result of
Speaker 1: the last administration's neglect and failures. And then the prayer
Speaker 1: emoji and this note, this community note. Alina Habas supported
Speaker 1: the Tate brothers who are under investigation for human trafficking.
Speaker 1: There's a reason you go into parking lot law, and
Speaker 1: that's because it's a challenge to you. I wanted to
Speaker 1: stretch my mind. It went entirely one inch wide. But
Speaker 1: the winner is the worst. Marco Rubio and naive butclely
Speaker 1: bukill As you know, a federal court blocked the illegal
Speaker 1: deportation of Venezuelans by the insane dictator to a concentration
Speaker 1: camp in a third party country, El Salvador. Planes were
Speaker 1: in the air already, and so the administration decided not
Speaker 1: to turn the planes around and announced it was not
Speaker 1: defying the court, and announced it was defying the court.
Speaker 1: Marco Rubio, the little Shit secretary of Little Shit, boasted
Speaker 1: about it as the president of Al Salvador. It's just
Speaker 1: a brand name. There's not really a president, Like we
Speaker 1: don't really have a president. We have an insane dictator.
Speaker 1: Naib Bukel, president of Al Salvador, screenshoted the headline from
Speaker 1: the New York Post about the judge blocking Trump from
Speaker 1: invoking the Alien Enemies Act, and President Bukel added quote
Speaker 1: oopsie too late and added the crying laughing emoji because
Speaker 1: somewhere along the line emoji became fascist. That's President asshole
Speaker 1: of l Salvador. Yeah, keep laughing. See you at the
Speaker 1: World Court at the Hague, buddy in twenty twenty nine,
Speaker 1: unless your own people take care of their problem. Five
Speaker 1: years ago, this alleged president wanted approval from the Salvadoran
Speaker 1: Legislative Assembly for a one hundred and nine million dollar
Speaker 1: loan for his territorial control plan. So to deliver the message,
Speaker 1: President Bukake or whatever his name is, sent forty soldiers
Speaker 1: over to the Legislative Assembly to say hello. In twenty nineteen,
Speaker 1: President Bukela introduced that plan, the Territorial Control Plan, to
Speaker 1: reduce the homicide rate. It was reduced only actor alleged
Speaker 1: the US Department of State. Bukell negotiated with the gangs
Speaker 1: in Al Salvador to reduce the homicide rate. Hey do
Speaker 1: me a solid kill fewer people okay, and you know
Speaker 1: who alleged that were the State Department under which President
Speaker 1: alleged he did that, Trump's State Department. But now Trump's
Speaker 1: new horror at the State Department. Marco, he's Besti's with
Speaker 1: this guy, Marco Rubio and alleged President Bukelly of Al Salvador.
Speaker 1: What happened to that guy to Turte from the Philippines again?
Speaker 1: Oh oh boy, two days worst persons. I can't hit
Speaker 1: this high note in the world. To the number one
Speaker 1: story on the Countdown and things I promise not to tell.
Speaker 1: And this is anything but an important career story. But
Speaker 1: I was reminded of it recently and I laughed like hell,
Speaker 1: so I thought maybe you should too. I haven't seen
Speaker 1: all of them in this country, but to my mind,
Speaker 1: the most underrated of American rivers is the one I
Speaker 1: grew up along. The Hudson gets a bad rap because
Speaker 1: it's associated with New York City and the deteriorating remnants
Speaker 1: of the city's once dominant piers, some of which have
Speaker 1: been unused and rotting for half a century now. But
Speaker 1: further upstate, literally just past the city line, the Hudson
Speaker 1: is a magnificent river just to watch, never mind ride on.
Speaker 1: This is particularly true during a stretch in which the
Speaker 1: western side of the river is fronted by a series
Speaker 1: of sheer cliffs called the Palisades, brownish black and striated,
Speaker 1: carved as the river took shape millions of years ago,
Speaker 1: but always looking like they had been carefully designed for
Speaker 1: esthetic effect. Unfortunately, they are best seen from the commuter
Speaker 1: railroad that runs along the Hudson into Westchester County, New York,
Speaker 1: instead of a series of parks or even private palaces.
Speaker 1: Our forefathers had the presence of mind to build factories
Speaker 1: and copper processing plants and other nightmares right on the
Speaker 1: Hudson because of the obvious transportation benefits the Hudson provided,
Speaker 1: and so the train tracks were laid out next to
Speaker 1: the river because that made it even easier to get
Speaker 1: stuff to and from the big city. And damn the
Speaker 1: views or the ability to appreciate life on the water
Speaker 1: or the pollution. Still, if you ever find yourself now
Speaker 1: taking a train from Grand Central Station into the western
Speaker 1: half of Westchester, get a window seat on the left
Speaker 1: side of the trainer. Better yet, when you come back
Speaker 1: into New York City, sit on the right side on
Speaker 1: the river side, and you will get fifteen minutes or
Speaker 1: more of the most magnificent view inable out the big windows. Winter's, spring, summer,
Speaker 1: or fall. The palisades provide the Hudson with a magnificent
Speaker 1: frame that's almost like a miniature Grand Canyon. I remember
Speaker 1: thinking of all this that one day early in nineteen
Speaker 1: eighty I was finally feeling a little better, thanks to
Speaker 1: doctor Cecilini. Doctor Cecelini had been my physician since I
Speaker 1: was a boy, and he was the school doctor, and
Speaker 1: he'd been the town doctor since about nineteen forty four,
Speaker 1: and he always name dropped other patients I'd never heard of.
Speaker 1: And as I finished my last growth spurt at the
Speaker 1: end of my twentieth year, I had frequent back pain,
Speaker 1: no fun at all, and sleeping on the floor helped
Speaker 1: a little, but not enough. And finally Cecilini, who had
Speaker 1: been a hospital doctor during World War Two and had
Speaker 1: seen everything, said hey, just get this prescription filled. Take
Speaker 1: one on them every day for the next week. It's
Speaker 1: called a muscle relaxing. This will loosen up your back
Speaker 1: als lessen the pain. Well, bet, just don't you know,
Speaker 1: don't operate any heavy machinery, do you operate heavy machinery
Speaker 1: when you do those sportscasts. Yars Keith had a patient
Speaker 1: try to run a processor at the copper factory while
Speaker 1: he took this nineteen fifty seven, we lost three fingers.
Speaker 1: Leonardo ben Venuti. You know any of the ben Venuties
Speaker 1: used to live on Williams Street. I laughed, this was
Speaker 1: him every time, the ben Venuti's on Williams Street, the
Speaker 1: Smith's on william Street, the Williams on Smith Street. Anyway,
Speaker 1: back to the muscle relaxes, I don't think I had
Speaker 1: ever heard of them before, let alone taken one. I
Speaker 1: took my barking back to the pharmacy in my hometown
Speaker 1: of Hastings on Hudson, New York. I got the prescription filled,
Speaker 1: I bought a soda at the pizza parlor across the street,
Speaker 1: and I ambled down the tiny village's picturesque business district.
Speaker 1: It's three blocks long, past the statue our old neighbor,
Speaker 1: Jacques Lipshits donated, and the ultra modern library, and right
Speaker 1: into the train station. It was January. He was about
Speaker 1: twelve degrees and as I waited for the train to
Speaker 1: make its forty minute trip into the city and my
Speaker 1: job as a sportscaster for the radio network of United
Speaker 1: pres International. I took the pill what were they called again,
Speaker 1: muscle muscle relaxance that doctor C had given me and
Speaker 1: given his other patient, Rico Rendazzo, Or was that some
Speaker 1: guy he mentioned in nineteen sixty six to me? I
Speaker 1: worked the night shift at UPI, so the train was
Speaker 1: almost always empty, and thus I almost always had my
Speaker 1: choice of window seats. Midday and midwinter combined to make
Speaker 1: the sun glisten with extra sparkle off the magnificent Hudson,
Speaker 1: and the sun's angle was such that the palisades behind
Speaker 1: them gleamed brightly as well. And I was thinking about
Speaker 1: just how gorgeous they were, and how underrated the Hudson was,
Speaker 1: and and I felt myself drifting away. I felt two hands,
Speaker 1: one on each shoulder, shaking me violently. Buddy, Hey, Hey, hey, hey, buddy.
Speaker 1: I fought to open my eyes and to avoid the
Speaker 1: bad breath now enveloping my face. As I finally came around,
Speaker 1: I realized it was the conductor who had just taken
Speaker 1: my ticket. The train wasn't moving. In fact, only half
Speaker 1: of the lights were on in the train. The palisades
Speaker 1: were long gone, not the Hudson nor the palisades, but
Speaker 1: darkness came in through the windows. I was completely confused.
Speaker 1: Am I shake it off? You gotta get out of here.
Speaker 1: This is as far as we go. Train's going out
Speaker 1: of service. You don't get off now, you'll be parked
Speaker 1: under thirty seven straight for the rest of the day.
Speaker 1: Through my fog and my haze, I finally began to
Speaker 1: understand what had happened and where I was, and I
Speaker 1: began to try to stand when a horrifying awareness overtook me.
Speaker 1: I could not move the right side of my face.
Speaker 1: What was worse, I could barely feel the right side
Speaker 1: of my face. Good God, what had happened to me?
Speaker 1: Was this like that haunting episode of Alfred Hitchcock where
Speaker 1: the woman is struggling to wake up and remember the
Speaker 1: details of the accident out on San Francisco Bay the
Speaker 1: night before, only as it finally comes back to her,
Speaker 1: it turns out the accident had drowned her boyfriend, and
Speaker 1: the reason it was so difficult to remember was, as
Speaker 1: she realized only when she got up and saw her
Speaker 1: reflection in a mirror, that the accident hadn't happened last night,
Speaker 1: but it had happened in nineteen oh five, and she'd
Speaker 1: been in an insane asylum for half a century. Was
Speaker 1: that what had happened to me? No? Actually, as I
Speaker 1: discovered when my struggle finally freed my face from the
Speaker 1: train window to which it had stuck, because I had
Speaker 1: drooled for like thirty five consecutive minutes, because I had
Speaker 1: taken the muscle relaxant, because I had taken an honest
Speaker 1: empty stomach, because I knew nothing about muscle relaxans, because
Speaker 1: I was out cold with my mouth open, pressed up
Speaker 1: against the train window on a twelve degree day, and
Speaker 1: I had gotten frozen to the glass. Look, it was
Speaker 1: not quite half a century in an insane asylum, but
Speaker 1: certainly more embarrassing. It seemed like it took me half
Speaker 1: a century to pull all of this together. I stood
Speaker 1: up wobbly. I apologized to the conductor, and I mumbled
Speaker 1: back pain new drug. And as I banked from one
Speaker 1: side of the doorway to the other and bounced out
Speaker 1: onto the platform, the conductor shouted after me, only take
Speaker 1: him at night? Huh that little saga? Yeah, Doc, my
Speaker 1: back is better, But I left half the skin on
Speaker 1: my right cheek frozen into the one twenty from Hastings
Speaker 1: to Grand Central. He'd probably say, yeah, that happened to
Speaker 1: another patient of mine, Carlo John Lombardo. That reminded me
Speaker 1: of a much later story from doctor Cecilini, and I
Speaker 1: don't want to leave the wrong impression here. Edward Cecilini
Speaker 1: was a terrific doctor. He practiced into his nineties. He
Speaker 1: used to tell me to come visit him at his
Speaker 1: practice in his home on Farragut Parkway anytime I was
Speaker 1: up from the city visiting my folks, Well, Josh shoot
Speaker 1: the braise, and he'd tell me about something about treating
Speaker 1: Umberto Flambini in the Army Hospital in nineteen forty four.
Speaker 1: And he'd asked me if I went to school with
Speaker 1: Marco Bartolini and then say he had to go. He
Speaker 1: was taking a course over at Sony Purchase about the
Speaker 1: latest computer aided diagnostic till the man was ninety years old.
Speaker 1: He never stopped learning. Great man, and did he howl
Speaker 1: at the muscle relaxing story. Sorry, sorry, I didn't warn you.
Speaker 1: Oh well, I just take him at Naida. I had
Speaker 1: another patient do that nineteen seventeen. He's just all right. Anyway.
Speaker 1: Now it's nineteen ninety five and I'm working at ESPN
Speaker 1: and I'm supposed to fly to Vancouver to do a
Speaker 1: cameo in an Adam Sandler golf movie, which I suppose
Speaker 1: was Happy Gilmour. And I didn't want to try to
Speaker 1: fly to Chicago and then change for Vancouver after going
Speaker 1: the two hours from the middle of Connecticut to JFK.
Speaker 1: So I came in to my folks house the day before,
Speaker 1: I took the folks out to dinner, stayed over in
Speaker 1: the spare room to leave from their house to the
Speaker 1: airport in the morning, and at some point in the
Speaker 1: middle of the night, I began to have chest pains.
Speaker 1: Literally the top of my ribs hurt and my breathing
Speaker 1: was constricted, and I couldn't get back to sleep. And
Speaker 1: now I'm thinking, I don't know what's wrong, but something
Speaker 1: is wrong. So I canceled the trip and I head
Speaker 1: up to doctor Cecilini as soon as he's opened up
Speaker 1: shop and he's eighty five now, and he gives me
Speaker 1: the big welcome as usual, and I tell him the
Speaker 1: story and he says, oh, yeah, I think it's nothing
Speaker 1: to worry about, but we we should get this on
Speaker 1: the record, just in case your movie company gets pissy
Speaker 1: with you about canceling dad. Happened to another friend of mine,
Speaker 1: patient Francesco Lola Bridget. He had a cameo and Moby
Speaker 1: Dick in nineteen fifty six. He had cancel He wanted
Speaker 1: it soon. How about you get your dad. Just drive
Speaker 1: you up to the hospital in Dobbs Ferry. I meet
Speaker 1: you there and oh like half an hour, hour and
Speaker 1: a half something like that. Let me just run a
Speaker 1: couple of tests on you. When we got you out.
Speaker 1: There's no rush whatsoever. What's ther now? He stares off
Speaker 1: into space for a second, and he looks back at me.
Speaker 1: He says, I got I got an idea a little simpler.
Speaker 1: I have to go there later. I have to drop
Speaker 1: off some paperwork on some other guy, Frisco Gaspoci No Frisco. Anyway,
Speaker 1: Just give me a second. I'll call him. I'll tell
Speaker 1: him what coming on. Just you just hop in the
Speaker 1: car with me and go out in the waiting room.
Speaker 1: I'm gonna call him about Frisco. And I got to
Speaker 1: worry about doctor patient confidentiality. But about Frisco Gospooci, Sa
Speaker 1: you know, I gotta worry about that, so I don't
Speaker 1: want you listening to that. So now ed cecil and
Speaker 1: he's driving me to Dobb's Ferry Hospital, and I'm thinking
Speaker 1: about how much he defines the idea of a really
Speaker 1: dedicated doctor, and how every other patient he's ever mentioned
Speaker 1: to me, I've never heard of one of them. And
Speaker 1: we get to the hospital. I don't know. We talked
Speaker 1: about baseball or my folks or something, and he drives
Speaker 1: right up to the er and we walk in like
Speaker 1: it's nothing, and he waves to the admitting nurse, Hi, Sheila,
Speaker 1: how's your soign Shila? And he points at me. He says,
Speaker 1: that's the guy, and he says, like it was absolutely
Speaker 1: the way they do it at every hospital. You can
Speaker 1: go all his info from him. After we run this
Speaker 1: little check on all right, We go right into the
Speaker 1: room and two nurses are in there and they say hi,
Speaker 1: and one of them tells me to take off my shirt.
Speaker 1: The other starts shaving places on my chest, and before
Speaker 1: I know what's happening, I've got electrodes on me and
Speaker 1: they're hooking me up to an EKG and they're drawing blood.
Speaker 1: In Cecillini reads the start of the EKJ print out,
Speaker 1: and he smiles at me and says, I'm sorry I
Speaker 1: scammed you. But the way you described your chest pains,
Speaker 1: I thought it was fifty to fifty. He had had
Speaker 1: a heart attack. Last thing I want to do is
Speaker 1: tell you that just in case you had had a
Speaker 1: heart attack. And then he had another one that happened
Speaker 1: to another patient of mine, Bernardo Petrosante. You know, Bernardo, Oh,
Speaker 1: let me only know this. Ah, you're fine. Let me
Speaker 1: just wait on the blood gases, double check that, go
Speaker 1: out there and do the paperwork for shill at the desk.
Speaker 1: I think it's just a muscle problem. The son of
Speaker 1: a gun had not only made sure I didn't know
Speaker 1: it might be serious, it might be heart attack serious.
Speaker 1: But he conned me into going to the emergency room
Speaker 1: without alarming me or even letting me know that was
Speaker 1: his plan along. And as I'm brushing the shaved hairs
Speaker 1: off my chest and putting my shirt on, I say thanks,
Speaker 1: and then it hits me, Hey, another thing, Doc, Bernardo
Speaker 1: Pietra Sante and Umberto Flambini, and all these other patients
Speaker 1: you've mentioned all these years, they don't really exist, do they?
Speaker 1: And he says, oh, got me about that. I learned
Speaker 1: a long time ago. Make sure your patient never feels
Speaker 1: like they're the first idiot to have done this to themselves.
Speaker 1: Come on, I'll give you a lift back to your folks.
Speaker 1: Might look in and see how your dad's doing. If
Speaker 1: he's got a moment. I've done all the damage I
Speaker 1: can do here. Thank you for listening. Once again, my
Speaker 1: apologies for the relative brevity. Not feeling that great, but
Speaker 1: you'd never know it from my performance here today. And
Speaker 1: you know why that is because I'm tough. Also because
Speaker 1: you can edit out all the bad stuff. Brian Ray
Speaker 1: and John Phillip Schanel, the musical directors of Countdown, arranged,
Speaker 1: produced and performed most of our music and still I'd
Speaker 1: rather go live. Mister Shanelle handled orchestration and keyboards. Mister
Speaker 1: Ray was on the guitars, bass and drums. It was
Speaker 1: produced by Tko Brothers. Our satirical and pithy musical comments
Speaker 1: are by the best baseball stadium organist ever, Nancy Faust.
Speaker 1: The sports music is the Olderman theme from ESPN two,
Speaker 1: written by Mitch Warren Davis and Curtsey of ESPN Inc.
Speaker 1: Other music arranged and performed by no horns allowed. My
Speaker 1: announcer today is my friend Kenny Maine, who does not
Speaker 1: appear curtisyvsp inc. Everything else was as ever my fault.
Speaker 1: That's countdown for today, just one four hundred and six
Speaker 1: days until the scheduled end of his lane duck lame
Speaker 1: brained dictatorship, unless Musk removes him sooner or the actuarial
Speaker 1: tables due. The next scheduled countdown is Thursday. Again. We'll
Speaker 1: see as always bulletins as the news warrants. Remember, impeach Trump.
Speaker 1: Impeach Trump won't work now, but it will win the
Speaker 1: Democrats the midterms if there are midterms, and there is
Speaker 1: the easy way to get rid of Schumer. You thirty
Speaker 1: six Democrats and Bernie Sanders just create the new Christy
Speaker 1: Minstrels Party. Until next time, I'm Keith Olberman. Good morning,
Speaker 1: good afternoon, good night, and good luck. Countdown with Keith
Speaker 1: Olderman is a production of iHeartRadio. For more podcasts from iHeartRadio,
Speaker 1: visit the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get
Speaker 1: your podcasts.