WEBVTT - Ep. 117: Overcome and Motivate with Sidney Smith 0:00:11.680 --> 0:00:15.320 Welcome back to another episode of Cutting the Distance podcast. 0:00:15.760 --> 0:00:19.200 I'm Dirk Durham and this week I have a guest 0:00:19.239 --> 0:00:22.599 who is someone I've been following on Instagram for years. 0:00:23.120 --> 0:00:27.400 He's a motivational speaker and his attitude on life is contagious. 0:00:28.120 --> 0:00:31.320 Anytime I start thinking that I cannot physically do something, 0:00:31.480 --> 0:00:35.080 my mind drifts to Sydney and I'm motivated to try harder. 0:00:35.680 --> 0:00:37.440 Sidney Smith, Welcome to the podcast. 0:00:39.360 --> 0:00:42.440 Hey Derk, thank you so much. This is exciting. I've 0:00:42.440 --> 0:00:45.720 been following you for a long time too, so yeah, yeah, 0:00:45.760 --> 0:00:49.000 and you motivate me. Oh that's that's awesome. 0:00:49.360 --> 0:00:51.520 Man, that's I don't know, I don't know. I don't 0:00:51.520 --> 0:00:52.639 even know how that's possible. 0:00:52.680 --> 0:00:58.720 But that's one thing. You never know who you're motivating. 0:00:58.800 --> 0:01:02.400 So it's important always share your story because well, person 0:01:02.520 --> 0:01:06.360 told me your story maybe another person's survival guide. So yeah, 0:01:06.400 --> 0:01:08.240 that's that's true. Absolutely. 0:01:08.280 --> 0:01:11.240 I had I had someone tell me that years ago. 0:01:11.720 --> 0:01:14.800 They're like, there's someone out there that you maybe you 0:01:14.959 --> 0:01:18.160 barely even know them, but you've impacted their life somehow, 0:01:18.280 --> 0:01:21.880 some way, just even by meeting them, greeting them and 0:01:21.920 --> 0:01:26.480 having a simple conversation, you've probably impacted someone's life to 0:01:26.520 --> 0:01:30.119 where they think about that moment or that that whatever 0:01:30.200 --> 0:01:32.440 it was that you told them or the conversation or 0:01:32.480 --> 0:01:35.360 whatever it was, they think about that a lot, and 0:01:35.400 --> 0:01:39.600 that gives them a reason. So yeah, that's I think 0:01:39.640 --> 0:01:41.160 we kind of all get kind of muddled down in 0:01:41.160 --> 0:01:45.280 our own little bs of our daily lives, and we 0:01:45.400 --> 0:01:48.680 kind of like forget about those kind of things. But 0:01:48.680 --> 0:01:51.000 but then I start thinking, like you know, all the 0:01:51.000 --> 0:01:53.120 little things like when I'm feeling down in the dumps 0:01:53.200 --> 0:01:55.920 or whatever, I start thinking about the things that someone 0:01:56.080 --> 0:01:59.800 or something has happened. That that's that's makes me like 0:02:00.160 --> 0:02:01.480 shake it off or whatever. 0:02:01.600 --> 0:02:07.040 So oh yeah, no, I've had that, like even years 0:02:07.080 --> 0:02:09.280 and years, Like I'll speak out of school and they'll 0:02:09.320 --> 0:02:12.119 be like five or six years later, you know, they're 0:02:12.160 --> 0:02:14.960 all grown up with two kids, and they told me, say, 0:02:15.000 --> 0:02:17.280 I remember when you spoke at our middle school and 0:02:17.360 --> 0:02:19.520 you I just in this story and this and this 0:02:19.600 --> 0:02:21.880 really changed my life. Here. I was like, I had 0:02:21.919 --> 0:02:24.359 no idea. I had no idea. You can make impacts 0:02:24.400 --> 0:02:26.960 on people's lives. So that's that's very true. It could 0:02:26.960 --> 0:02:27.640 be infectious. 0:02:27.680 --> 0:02:33.760 So we'll good, that's incredible, So tell tell our listeners. Uh, tell, 0:02:33.960 --> 0:02:37.560 take us down the path of your story of how 0:02:37.600 --> 0:02:39.680 you even became a motivational speaker. 0:02:40.600 --> 0:02:45.880 Well, it's something fairly newish, like it kind of fell 0:02:45.919 --> 0:02:49.360 into my lap. When I was in college, I had 0:02:49.400 --> 0:02:54.160 to take one elective course that you know, just to pass, 0:02:54.240 --> 0:02:56.280 you know, and to get my degree, and so I 0:02:56.280 --> 0:02:59.560 had to pick some course out there, and I chose 0:02:59.600 --> 0:03:02.840 public speaking because they said that was the easiest. And 0:03:03.200 --> 0:03:06.480 I had straight a's through college except for one class, 0:03:07.000 --> 0:03:09.080 and it was freaking public speaking. Because I'm like, I 0:03:09.120 --> 0:03:13.640 hate public speaking. Everyone says it was easy, but I'm like, yeah, 0:03:13.639 --> 0:03:15.840 but you got to do something I absolutely hate, you know. 0:03:15.919 --> 0:03:18.399 I hate talking in church, I hate speaking in front 0:03:18.400 --> 0:03:21.320 of people. And so I ended up getting like a 0:03:21.360 --> 0:03:24.960 C in that class. But it's still it's still better 0:03:25.000 --> 0:03:28.920 to me. But what ended up happening is is, uh, 0:03:29.680 --> 0:03:31.959 you know, I never I said I'll never speak again. 0:03:32.080 --> 0:03:33.840 This is, you know, dumb. I'm glad I got that 0:03:33.880 --> 0:03:36.760 off my list. It was just to get credit for 0:03:36.920 --> 0:03:41.920 a class. And then turns out that in twenty fifteen 0:03:43.320 --> 0:03:46.960 I had my legs amputated due to complications to a 0:03:47.000 --> 0:03:51.600 disease I was born with called Charco Marie Tooth and 0:03:51.720 --> 0:03:54.640 just a backstory with that. You know, it's it's something 0:03:55.160 --> 0:03:59.720 that's a progressive muscular distripty, something I gained genetically sometime 0:03:59.760 --> 0:04:04.400 down the road, and it progressed heavily in deforming my 0:04:04.440 --> 0:04:07.280 feet to the point where I couldn't function. Then I 0:04:07.320 --> 0:04:09.920 couldn't do the things I love, such as hunting and fishing, 0:04:10.000 --> 0:04:12.800 hiking and all that stuff. And then when I hit 0:04:12.840 --> 0:04:16.760 about thirty three, doctors kind of gave me an ultimatum saying, 0:04:16.800 --> 0:04:19.000 you know, we coul get a wheelchair or we could 0:04:19.040 --> 0:04:22.320 try you know, amputation and see what prosthetics will do. 0:04:23.200 --> 0:04:30.040 So in twenty fifteen, I did this surgery, and you know, 0:04:30.080 --> 0:04:32.760 it was hard, you know, changed my life. Obviously, it 0:04:32.800 --> 0:04:36.120 was a big decision, But in the long run, it 0:04:36.160 --> 0:04:38.360 was the best decision I've ever made because I've had 0:04:38.400 --> 0:04:41.920 so many amazing things happen in my life that's blessed 0:04:41.920 --> 0:04:45.200 me and my family and has taught me things about 0:04:45.279 --> 0:04:48.280 you know, gratitude and things to be grateful for and 0:04:49.120 --> 0:04:51.520 how you know, God gives us certain trials in life 0:04:51.600 --> 0:04:55.839 to make a stronger individuals and purpose to help other 0:04:55.880 --> 0:05:00.200 people that are also struggling and to be the example 0:05:00.200 --> 0:05:05.279 to others. And so yeah, I just caught the fire 0:05:05.320 --> 0:05:09.000 after that point. And someone suggested that I speak to 0:05:09.279 --> 0:05:12.839 a group of cub Scouts and telling my story. And 0:05:12.880 --> 0:05:15.560 I said, okay, I'll talk to these you know, ten 0:05:15.640 --> 0:05:19.480 year old boys and telling my story and the challenges 0:05:19.520 --> 0:05:21.800 that I've overcame and the things that I've accomplished. And 0:05:22.320 --> 0:05:25.080 it felt good. And next thing, I know, you know, 0:05:25.120 --> 0:05:28.680 a couple of schools started reaching out and and then 0:05:28.720 --> 0:05:30.960 before you know it, I started going, you know, traveling 0:05:30.960 --> 0:05:34.240 all over the country. It's not something I do full time. 0:05:34.279 --> 0:05:36.839 I have a nine to five. It's just something I 0:05:36.960 --> 0:05:41.760 enjoy doing. And uh, it's it's been a blessing in 0:05:41.760 --> 0:05:45.760 my life to share my story. So that's where I'm at. 0:05:46.120 --> 0:05:50.479 Man, that's awesome to Probably one of the hardest things 0:05:50.560 --> 0:05:53.800 of that whole story is back to what you were 0:05:53.839 --> 0:05:56.960 saying about public speaking. I mean, I think for a 0:05:57.000 --> 0:05:58.880 lot of us that's really hard. I know for me, 0:06:00.080 --> 0:06:05.520 I struggle public speaking too. I get nervous and I'm 0:06:05.560 --> 0:06:10.080 always always my worst critic, of course, but it's it's great, 0:06:10.360 --> 0:06:14.039 like you're like overcoming a lot of hurdles a lot 0:06:14.040 --> 0:06:18.040 of us have on a daily basis, right, you know, 0:06:18.120 --> 0:06:20.320 back to when you had to have your legs amputated. 0:06:20.360 --> 0:06:23.520 I mean that, like that whole process has got to 0:06:23.600 --> 0:06:24.360 be like so. 0:06:25.800 --> 0:06:29.000 Impactful. It's not just like, oh I just cut off 0:06:29.640 --> 0:06:32.760 a hangnail. This is something that's. 0:06:32.440 --> 0:06:37.120 Like like just the healing time of becoming to where 0:06:37.200 --> 0:06:40.160 you know you're where you were amputated, to get that 0:06:40.240 --> 0:06:43.240 to heal and to be like not painful all the time, 0:06:43.320 --> 0:06:45.240 and then to try to like dig out of the 0:06:45.240 --> 0:06:47.919 there's got to be some depths of depths of despair 0:06:48.000 --> 0:06:51.120 there too, Right, how did how do you find how 0:06:51.160 --> 0:06:53.119 did you find your way out of such a dark 0:06:53.160 --> 0:06:56.320 place and into the light after that? 0:06:58.279 --> 0:07:02.039 Yeah, you nol that it it's not it takes time. 0:07:02.120 --> 0:07:03.960 It's not like I woke up out of the hospital 0:07:03.960 --> 0:07:06.920 bed and been like, okay, I'm I'm ready to to 0:07:06.920 --> 0:07:08.839 to go kill an elk or do an ironman or 0:07:08.839 --> 0:07:12.240 something like that. It it at first, it was actually 0:07:12.360 --> 0:07:18.080 really difficult to the especially the day of the surgery, 0:07:18.120 --> 0:07:21.440 to wake up. And I remember I was in the 0:07:21.600 --> 0:07:24.600 hospital bed and I looked themder the sheets, and you know, 0:07:24.720 --> 0:07:26.520 sure enough I knew this day was coming. And it 0:07:26.560 --> 0:07:29.880 was always kind of a surreal moment, but to actually 0:07:29.960 --> 0:07:34.480 see gone it was it was hard. You know, there 0:07:34.520 --> 0:07:38.400 was tears in the hospital bed and knowing that, you know, 0:07:38.440 --> 0:07:40.360 I won't be able to feel cold grass and the 0:07:40.400 --> 0:07:44.360 sand beneath my pose, and and you know, the fear 0:07:44.400 --> 0:07:47.480 of the unknown, like am I gonna do activities such 0:07:47.480 --> 0:07:50.600 as hunting and fishing and the things I love, play 0:07:50.640 --> 0:07:53.559 with my kids, keep a job. And then my wife 0:07:53.600 --> 0:07:56.400 came into the hospital room, and you know, I'm still 0:07:56.440 --> 0:07:59.640 down on myself, and I'm telling her, you know, I'm sorry, 0:08:00.200 --> 0:08:02.920 this is now a burden on you. I was just thinking, 0:08:02.960 --> 0:08:04.680 you know, you, you might as well just go ahead 0:08:04.680 --> 0:08:07.600 and leave me, honey. I totally won't judge you for that, 0:08:07.880 --> 0:08:11.520 And she says, you know I could, but the doctor 0:08:11.600 --> 0:08:15.720 gave us this handicapped parking pass and now that, uh, 0:08:16.080 --> 0:08:18.600 we can get excellent parking at Walmart. I don't see 0:08:18.600 --> 0:08:21.680 any reason why I would leave you. So, uh, there's 0:08:21.840 --> 0:08:24.080 there's a there's a light at the end of the tunnel. 0:08:24.080 --> 0:08:28.080 But that's back to your back to your question, where 0:08:28.080 --> 0:08:30.320 do you find, you know, to get out of the 0:08:30.360 --> 0:08:33.400 dooms of stuff like that? Uh, you know, for me, 0:08:34.080 --> 0:08:39.040 it it was hard to accept the fact that life 0:08:39.080 --> 0:08:43.280 is going to be harder at first, and I just overall, 0:08:43.400 --> 0:08:46.320 I'm trying to be a kind person, and ultimately I 0:08:46.360 --> 0:08:50.240 felt guilty that I was a burden to everybody, and so, 0:08:50.960 --> 0:08:55.360 you know, the thoughts of a suicide came in pretty 0:08:55.360 --> 0:09:00.480 heavy towards at the beginning. But then, you know something 0:09:00.520 --> 0:09:05.080 that I with this disease. I've always felt like life 0:09:05.120 --> 0:09:08.040 is not fair, but it's just the way it is, 0:09:09.880 --> 0:09:12.760 and you know, you have to live with that. And 0:09:12.880 --> 0:09:15.840 for me, I've thought, you know, maybe this, you know, 0:09:15.920 --> 0:09:18.320 why did God give me this challenge? And you know 0:09:18.400 --> 0:09:21.240 it's not fair, but you know, I still have to 0:09:21.280 --> 0:09:24.559 live with it, and I have to have a positive attitude. 0:09:25.120 --> 0:09:27.680 And when I was thinking of suicide and you know, 0:09:27.800 --> 0:09:31.680 all these awful thoughts, I still had a young family 0:09:32.200 --> 0:09:35.440 at the time, and I had a little daughter. She's 0:09:35.480 --> 0:09:37.959 now ten years old, but she was just learning how 0:09:37.960 --> 0:09:41.760 to walk, and ironically we're learning to walk together. Oh wow. 0:09:42.280 --> 0:09:45.839 And I just remember learning to walk with my prosthetics 0:09:45.840 --> 0:09:48.480 and she's learning to walk at the same time. It 0:09:48.600 --> 0:09:51.280 just dawned on me that you know, it may not 0:09:51.360 --> 0:09:56.400 be fair that I had gotten this disease, but to 0:09:56.520 --> 0:10:00.800 her it's not fair that they she'd have a dad 0:10:00.800 --> 0:10:04.640 that may end his life. And I can't control my disease, 0:10:04.760 --> 0:10:07.360 but I can control the outcome of my daughter. And 0:10:07.400 --> 0:10:10.400 so it just kind of clicked that the purpose of 0:10:10.440 --> 0:10:12.720 life is a lot different than what I thought at 0:10:12.760 --> 0:10:16.120 that moment. It's not all about me. It's all about Noah, 0:10:16.240 --> 0:10:19.000 my kids, and and everyone else as well. And so 0:10:20.360 --> 0:10:23.480 I just knew I had to combat this fear and 0:10:25.120 --> 0:10:28.439 anger that I had towards this disease in my situation 0:10:29.120 --> 0:10:32.679 and find myself out of it. And so I heard 0:10:32.720 --> 0:10:35.400 at church one time the opposite of fear is faith. 0:10:36.240 --> 0:10:39.600 That is the antidote. But they work the same way. 0:10:39.679 --> 0:10:42.800 Where you can't see fear and you can't see faith, 0:10:42.920 --> 0:10:45.840 but if in your mind, if you have a belief 0:10:45.840 --> 0:10:50.160 in one and grow and develop that, nurseh you know, 0:10:50.440 --> 0:10:53.200 the fear or the faith, one has a positive aspect 0:10:53.200 --> 0:10:55.760 and one has a negative aspect. And so I what 0:10:56.200 --> 0:10:59.240 really started it all was just faith. Is that I 0:10:59.360 --> 0:11:01.120 had to believe that I was going to get better, 0:11:01.640 --> 0:11:05.240 that God has a plan for me. I'm going to 0:11:05.840 --> 0:11:08.400 trust in him that He's gonna provide me a life 0:11:08.440 --> 0:11:11.440 that's going to be worth you know, hanging on and 0:11:11.480 --> 0:11:14.320 that's where it all began. And I just kept believing 0:11:14.360 --> 0:11:17.680 that and exercising that faith to where it's turned into 0:11:17.679 --> 0:11:23.000 something beautiful and strong. Yeah, that's awesome. It kind of 0:11:23.040 --> 0:11:23.640 reminds me. 0:11:24.080 --> 0:11:26.720 I hate to be so cliche, but it reminds me 0:11:26.800 --> 0:11:31.040 of a saying I seen on Instagram, and it said, 0:11:31.440 --> 0:11:34.640 we all have two wolves inside, and you know, a 0:11:34.679 --> 0:11:37.800 good one and a bad one, you know, and whichever 0:11:37.840 --> 0:11:40.599 one you feed will grow, right, So that kind of 0:11:40.640 --> 0:11:42.240 goes right back to what you said, you know, you 0:11:42.720 --> 0:11:45.920 either feed your faith or you feed your fears. And 0:11:45.960 --> 0:11:48.240 I can, yeah, I can definitely see that. It seems 0:11:48.240 --> 0:11:53.880 like negative thoughts. If you're dwelling on negative then more 0:11:53.960 --> 0:11:57.400 negative comes. And if you're dwelling on positive things and 0:11:57.480 --> 0:11:59.640 you know, keeping the you know, shutting out the negative 0:11:59.640 --> 0:12:06.800 stuff just kind of keeps you on track. So just overcoming, 0:12:06.880 --> 0:12:10.520 you know, the part of losing your legs and and 0:12:10.679 --> 0:12:13.520 trying to find a way to live a normal life again. 0:12:14.080 --> 0:12:20.280 Now that's one thing which is remarkable that in itself, 0:12:20.280 --> 0:12:23.439 to me, is is motivating. But then I look at 0:12:23.480 --> 0:12:27.319 a lot of the other things you do. You you 0:12:27.360 --> 0:12:30.960 go hiking in the mountains, you go elk hunting, you've 0:12:30.960 --> 0:12:35.080 competed in iron Man, you've competed in triathlon, you've you've 0:12:35.120 --> 0:12:38.880 been in a body building competition. I mean, I mean, 0:12:39.760 --> 0:12:42.800 you've just checked off a lot of boxes that like 0:12:43.320 --> 0:12:45.720 to do one of those in a normal person's life 0:12:45.720 --> 0:12:48.240 would be like an accomplishment, right that like a bucket 0:12:48.240 --> 0:12:54.320 list accomplishment. You you are checking all these boxes and 0:12:55.360 --> 0:12:58.439 people might think or see like you know, no, nobody 0:12:58.480 --> 0:13:01.560 sees the hard work, right, no matter what anyone does, 0:13:01.760 --> 0:13:04.200 they always see the outcome, like the result, like you know, 0:13:04.600 --> 0:13:07.839 a successful el kint summit on a mountain, you've you've 0:13:08.120 --> 0:13:11.240 you've hiked up to or or you know your your 0:13:11.320 --> 0:13:13.640 your body condition at the end of training for a 0:13:13.640 --> 0:13:19.440 body competition. But the day in, day out training and 0:13:19.480 --> 0:13:22.800 grueling to get from point zero to to the to 0:13:22.880 --> 0:13:28.320 the goal that is that's that's the real stuff. And 0:13:28.440 --> 0:13:31.880 I feel like not everybody gets to see that, And 0:13:32.880 --> 0:13:34.680 what are your opinions on that? Like you have you 0:13:34.760 --> 0:13:38.040 probably have put in so much work that nobody will 0:13:38.040 --> 0:13:40.480 ever see, and overcame a lot of little things, like 0:13:40.559 --> 0:13:42.480 little things we take for granted on a day to 0:13:42.559 --> 0:13:45.880 day just to accomplished those those things. 0:13:46.400 --> 0:13:50.920 Yeah, it I My wife is uh to the point 0:13:50.960 --> 0:13:52.920 now it's like, hey, when are you just gonna sit 0:13:52.960 --> 0:13:58.480 back and relax honestly, and uh, I My personality is 0:13:58.559 --> 0:14:01.760 just consist where I have to be doing something new. 0:14:02.600 --> 0:14:05.880 It just keeps my mind out of the gutter. I 0:14:06.040 --> 0:14:08.560 like challenges. I like things that are going to test 0:14:08.640 --> 0:14:12.640 my body to the limits. But that's that's part of 0:14:12.640 --> 0:14:15.680 the fun. Like, for example, in the Iron Man, that 0:14:15.840 --> 0:14:18.920 was still to this date the hardest thing I've ever 0:14:19.000 --> 0:14:23.560 done was an iron Man. But the race itself it 0:14:23.640 --> 0:14:26.120 was hard, but that wasn't the hardest part. The hardest 0:14:26.120 --> 0:14:31.440 part was all the training. I had an infection six 0:14:31.480 --> 0:14:34.600 months prior to the race that almost put me out 0:14:34.720 --> 0:14:37.240 where I you know, they had to drain all go 0:14:37.320 --> 0:14:39.200 in there and cut into my limb and drain all 0:14:39.240 --> 0:14:43.600 the infection just you know, twenty plus hours of a 0:14:43.640 --> 0:14:48.560 week of just training every Saturday completely on my bike 0:14:48.680 --> 0:14:51.960 or swimming eight or nine hours and then eating. Just 0:14:52.320 --> 0:14:55.480 in doing that for a year straight, that was difficult. 0:14:55.560 --> 0:14:58.840 Like even hunting season. It was frustrating when I wanted 0:14:58.840 --> 0:15:01.280 to go hunting, but I had to to go run first, 0:15:01.360 --> 0:15:04.600 and so that little stuff like that. That was the 0:15:04.640 --> 0:15:08.320 hard part. But that's you know, if it wasn't if 0:15:08.360 --> 0:15:10.760 it was easy, then everybody would do it. That's that's 0:15:10.800 --> 0:15:15.920 the part that is rewarding, is that that grind. And uh, 0:15:16.400 --> 0:15:19.400 I mean, just to answer your question, it's not easy, 0:15:19.440 --> 0:15:22.640 but that's what makes it worth it. That's what really 0:15:22.720 --> 0:15:26.680 is going to change as an individual, because if it 0:15:26.800 --> 0:15:30.400 was easy, then then you wouldn't see this, you wouldn't 0:15:30.440 --> 0:15:34.560 have the desire, wouldn't be as cool for you. Rewarding, Yeah, absolutely. 0:15:35.120 --> 0:15:39.840 I feel like it's proof to the thought that human 0:15:40.200 --> 0:15:44.760 humans are capable of amazing things in and our abilities 0:15:44.800 --> 0:15:48.440 are way further than what we first you know, the 0:15:48.440 --> 0:15:52.520 first little stop our brain says, oh, I think we're done. 0:15:52.840 --> 0:15:56.400 I feel like we are capable of so much more 0:15:56.440 --> 0:15:58.480 than past that first little speed bump. 0:16:08.760 --> 0:16:08.960 You know. 0:16:09.080 --> 0:16:12.760 You you talked about, you know, having that infection six 0:16:12.800 --> 0:16:18.640 months before your your race, and like how many how 0:16:18.680 --> 0:16:22.280 many of us during elk season have gotten like an 0:16:22.440 --> 0:16:25.520 ingrown toenail or a little blister on her foot or 0:16:25.520 --> 0:16:27.400 something like, oh man, I don't know if. 0:16:27.280 --> 0:16:28.840 I can go down to the hell all the day. 0:16:28.880 --> 0:16:31.760 It's and you know, it's it hurts. 0:16:31.800 --> 0:16:35.520 It's it's you know, or you know, there's always like 0:16:35.640 --> 0:16:39.400 some little little thing that that's difficult, that's not easy, 0:16:39.480 --> 0:16:42.520 that like will derail a lot of people. Like I 0:16:42.560 --> 0:16:45.480 feel like you're saying six months before that you almost 0:16:45.560 --> 0:16:48.600 derailed by having that infection. It wasn't just a simple 0:16:48.640 --> 0:16:52.040 little thing. It's like a lot, you know. And then 0:16:52.160 --> 0:16:57.080 to stay the course, do you just like what do 0:16:57.120 --> 0:16:59.040 you what do you focus on to stay on that course? 0:16:59.120 --> 0:17:02.600 Do you'd like sit there like looking at that set 0:17:02.680 --> 0:17:05.640 back and think, what is your mind? What's your mindset? 0:17:05.640 --> 0:17:06.120 Are you saying? 0:17:06.160 --> 0:17:08.520 Are you saying, Okay, just we're gonna get through this. 0:17:08.960 --> 0:17:11.160 You know, it's gonna be fine. We're just gonna as 0:17:11.160 --> 0:17:13.480 soon as soon as I can get this healed up, 0:17:13.520 --> 0:17:17.000 I'm gonna start working hard again to accomplish this. What 0:17:17.000 --> 0:17:19.600 what what do you tell yourself to get there? 0:17:21.080 --> 0:17:24.119 Then it's gonna be worth it. Like that's that's the 0:17:24.680 --> 0:17:28.239 goal right there, It's gonna be worth it. And I 0:17:28.240 --> 0:17:30.720 don't I think the older I've gotten, you know, I'm 0:17:30.720 --> 0:17:34.440 now in my forties, the thing that's hardest to live 0:17:34.520 --> 0:17:38.159 with being older is regrets. Right, That's just something I 0:17:38.280 --> 0:17:41.080 just find I don't doesn't go away. And when I 0:17:41.160 --> 0:17:44.000 had that infection, you know, ultimately I talked to my 0:17:44.080 --> 0:17:46.800 coach and my doctor. I says, okay, I'm out for 0:17:46.880 --> 0:17:49.679 a few, you know, six weeks. I can't train. I 0:17:49.720 --> 0:17:53.240 basically has started all my endurance over. You know, what 0:17:53.320 --> 0:17:56.040 do I do? And and I thought about it, prayed 0:17:56.040 --> 0:17:58.479 about it, and this was this was in twenty nineteen 0:17:58.520 --> 0:18:01.440 when I did this race, and so I was like, well, 0:18:01.440 --> 0:18:04.840 maybe I'll push the race into twenty twenty, Like what's 0:18:04.840 --> 0:18:09.600 the worst that can happen in twenty twenty. And as 0:18:09.640 --> 0:18:12.280 you can see, I decided not to go that route. 0:18:12.359 --> 0:18:14.320 And had I done, you know, then the race of 0:18:14.320 --> 0:18:16.639 twenty twenty would have been canceled because of COVID, and 0:18:16.680 --> 0:18:19.399 then who knows what other things could have happened in 0:18:19.440 --> 0:18:23.280 my life that would have completely derailed me from the race. 0:18:23.280 --> 0:18:24.720 So I just said, you know what, it's going to 0:18:24.760 --> 0:18:26.680 be worth it. I'm going to give it my best, 0:18:26.720 --> 0:18:29.280 because I'm not going to regret it if I don't 0:18:29.280 --> 0:18:31.520 give my best. If I don't finish, that's one thing. 0:18:31.560 --> 0:18:34.000 I could always sign up and do this again. But 0:18:34.080 --> 0:18:36.600 if I if I don't even show up to the course, 0:18:37.040 --> 0:18:40.119 and don't even try. Then it's it's not going to 0:18:40.160 --> 0:18:43.640 be rewarding, because that's that's where it is. Same thing. 0:18:43.880 --> 0:18:50.120 Like like we talked about elk hunting that this last 0:18:50.160 --> 0:18:52.760 fall or this current fall, sorry that we're in, I 0:18:52.760 --> 0:18:55.840 guess it's still fall. I just shot an elk last 0:18:55.880 --> 0:18:59.679 month and my biggest bull to date. You know, I'm 0:18:59.720 --> 0:19:02.879 super stoked about it. But when I shot him, I 0:19:02.920 --> 0:19:05.680 shot him down at the bottom of this canyon and 0:19:06.760 --> 0:19:09.840 it you know, I knew when I saw him he's 0:19:09.840 --> 0:19:11.680 one of those bulls you just don't be like, well, 0:19:12.200 --> 0:19:13.960 he's too hard to get. I'm not going to pass. 0:19:14.000 --> 0:19:15.720 I mean, this is a once in a lifetime thing 0:19:15.760 --> 0:19:19.880 by far, And I went and I shot him, and 0:19:19.880 --> 0:19:22.719 and the best thing about elk cunning is having buddies 0:19:22.760 --> 0:19:24.920 with you because then you feel confident getting him out 0:19:24.960 --> 0:19:28.320 of there. Right. Sure, we spend all day breaking him 0:19:28.320 --> 0:19:30.479 down and you know, boning him out and getting him 0:19:30.560 --> 0:19:32.639 up the hill. And you know, my buddy was like, 0:19:32.760 --> 0:19:34.720 you know, you should have shot him from the road 0:19:34.800 --> 0:19:36.560 or you know, to see if he would have came 0:19:36.640 --> 0:19:38.960 up the road. But I look back at it now, 0:19:39.080 --> 0:19:41.840 I was like, I'm glad that he was in the 0:19:41.840 --> 0:19:45.840 worst hell hole. Otherwise this reward wouldn't be as as great. 0:19:45.880 --> 0:19:48.480 I mean, it would felt like I mean, don't get 0:19:48.480 --> 0:19:50.600 me wrong. If they're sitting on the road, that's awesome. 0:19:50.640 --> 0:19:53.119 But at the same time, just to earn that bull 0:19:53.720 --> 0:19:56.120 has now made it more of a memory and every 0:19:56.160 --> 0:19:58.119 you know, this is my first bull that I'm actually 0:19:58.119 --> 0:20:02.440 going to mount, and now I will remember that elk 0:20:02.520 --> 0:20:04.679 and that experience of the pack out more than just 0:20:04.760 --> 0:20:06.480 you know, if I were to shoot him on the road, 0:20:07.600 --> 0:20:10.880 and so it's got to be worth it and that 0:20:10.920 --> 0:20:12.880 those are the moments you got to live for. Otherwise 0:20:13.440 --> 0:20:17.760 having regret, it's just an awful thing to have. Absolutely, yeah, yeah, 0:20:17.920 --> 0:20:23.400 living with regret it sucks. I know. Over the years, 0:20:23.440 --> 0:20:24.119 I've been elk. 0:20:24.000 --> 0:20:27.080 Hunting, deer hunting for thirty I don't even know thirty five, 0:20:27.200 --> 0:20:31.240 forty forty years, but thirty five plus years, and like 0:20:31.400 --> 0:20:34.679 there's some some times I can think back to where 0:20:35.840 --> 0:20:39.640 I didn't give up my all or I gave up 0:20:39.880 --> 0:20:44.280 on whatever, and then I had to live with that 0:20:44.400 --> 0:20:47.399 regret for a whole nother year. But then it's not 0:20:47.520 --> 0:20:51.399 just another year. It's it's that one little thing that 0:20:51.480 --> 0:20:53.960 always like gnaws at your the back of your mind. 0:20:54.600 --> 0:20:58.520 I to this day there's still someone some do overs. 0:20:58.560 --> 0:21:02.560 I really wish I could of just because I gave up, 0:21:02.680 --> 0:21:05.440 you know. You know, I like to talk a big 0:21:05.480 --> 0:21:07.560 game and say, you know, don't ever give up. But 0:21:07.600 --> 0:21:09.640 that's a lot of that is me talking to myself, 0:21:09.680 --> 0:21:11.879 don't ever give up. I have to give myself that 0:21:13.240 --> 0:21:15.440 my pep talk every now and then because it, Yeah, 0:21:15.480 --> 0:21:19.119 you do face hard, hard hunts or hard things, and 0:21:19.200 --> 0:21:22.359 it's like, well, do you want to you know, you 0:21:22.400 --> 0:21:25.080 want to think about this for the you want to 0:21:25.119 --> 0:21:26.879 carry that monkey on the back of your back for 0:21:26.920 --> 0:21:29.080 the next year or the rest of your life. 0:21:29.440 --> 0:21:30.119 No, I don't. 0:21:31.080 --> 0:21:34.560 So yeah that I can definitely see see that you 0:21:34.560 --> 0:21:38.440 don't want to live with regrets. How hard was it 0:21:38.560 --> 0:21:39.720 to relearn to walk? 0:21:39.800 --> 0:21:42.840 I can only imagine, just be. 0:21:43.440 --> 0:21:46.639 It's got to be a whole new process versus like 0:21:47.560 --> 0:21:49.520 and I hate to even compare this, but I had 0:21:49.560 --> 0:21:53.040 ankle surgery here a couple of years ago, and I 0:21:53.080 --> 0:21:55.760 had to go into a bunch of physical therapy and 0:21:58.000 --> 0:22:00.919 I could walk, but it wasn't right, you know, I 0:22:01.000 --> 0:22:02.719 had to they had to show me how to do 0:22:02.760 --> 0:22:04.840 it right. So I would learn how to use that 0:22:04.880 --> 0:22:09.080 ankle again properly, but with muscles that I've used in 0:22:09.160 --> 0:22:13.040 the past to walk. Now I can imagine everything is 0:22:13.160 --> 0:22:17.680 different now with prosthetic limbs, with prosthetic legs to walk, 0:22:17.720 --> 0:22:21.080 you're using some of the same muscles but differently, and 0:22:21.119 --> 0:22:24.160 there's probably some other muscles that coming into into play 0:22:24.200 --> 0:22:25.359 to learn how to walk. 0:22:25.840 --> 0:22:29.680 What was that like? Well, it it is different for 0:22:30.040 --> 0:22:33.080 like a single amputee versus a double amputee. Like a 0:22:33.119 --> 0:22:36.720 single amputee guys that I've I've hunted with with my charity, 0:22:38.040 --> 0:22:40.879 they they struggle with like the fatiguing and then the 0:22:40.960 --> 0:22:47.399