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Speaker 1: Oh, Happy New Year everybody. It's in three. Happy twenty three.

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Speaker 1: Whoever thought we'd make it this far? Oh? My god,

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Speaker 1: I did. I did. I'm so excited about only because

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Speaker 1: of my hysterian astrologist. What are you looking forward to? Oh,

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Speaker 1: just life, you know, all of the things. What are

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Speaker 1: you looking forward to, Catherine? Oh? I am looking forward

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Speaker 1: to doing a lot of hiking this year. I'm very excited.

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Speaker 1: We just moved. We're right at the base of the

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Speaker 1: mountains and I'm ready to get after it. Wow, hiking.

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Speaker 1: Good for you, Catherine. I am not looking forward to

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Speaker 1: hiking this year. That is not something that I am

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Speaker 1: thinking about at all, So I'm glad that you brought

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Speaker 1: that up. You like to go downhill very fast on

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Speaker 1: that Yeah, exactly, that's right. I like to go downhill.

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Speaker 1: That's what I've discovered about myself. But speaking of it,

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Speaker 1: you've been in Whistler, which is your happy place? Yes, yes,

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Speaker 1: i am, but I am. I'm I'm home now because

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Speaker 1: I have to come home to do some press for

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Speaker 1: my Special Revolution, which is out on Netflix. Yeah, and

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Speaker 1: I'm doing press for that, and then I'm hosting the

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Speaker 1: Critics Choice Awards next week. So I'm here in town

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Speaker 1: for a while. I had to leave my happy place,

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Speaker 1: which I'm not normally accustomed to doing in the wintertime.

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Speaker 1: I like to go for winter. But you know that's okay.

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Speaker 1: I have to work because I want to work. Our

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Speaker 1: guest today is a really funny comedian and he is

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Speaker 1: going to make you laugh. And you can watch his

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Speaker 1: advice special on YouTube. It's called well, it's called the

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Speaker 1: Advice Special and it's on YouTube and it's Matteo Lane

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Speaker 1: is the page. So he's got mad skills. He's got

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Speaker 1: tons of different skills. I mean, he speaks a bunch

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Speaker 1: of different languages. He's an artist, he's like a chef.

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Speaker 1: He's hot, he's gay, and he sings opera. So suck

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Speaker 1: on that. Matteo Lane is here, everybody, And if you

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Speaker 1: don't know who he is, you need to find out

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Speaker 1: because you need to follow him on Instagram. This is

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Speaker 1: a very talented comedian. He's a flaming homosexual. And I

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Speaker 1: say that because, yeah, well you can't see him, but

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Speaker 1: you can't see what he's doing. But I say that

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Speaker 1: because he is one and he is so talented. Actually,

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Speaker 1: you know what he did for me recently, Katherine I

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Speaker 1: haven't told this story yet. It was Gwyneth Paltrow's fiftieth

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Speaker 1: birthday this year, so her assistant Kevin had reached out

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Speaker 1: to everyone asking for a sketch of how we see Gwyneth,

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Speaker 1: to draw something of how we see Quinneth. And I'm like,

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Speaker 1: that's like asking me to pump breast milk. You know, Like,

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Speaker 1: I was like what, And I remember that Matteo is

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Speaker 1: not a cartoonist. I was an oil painter and fashion

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Speaker 1: illustrator for years, like TV commercials and fashions and stuff.

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Speaker 1: It was how I moved to New York. So I

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Speaker 1: didn't know that. Yeah, from the Midwest. Where are you from?

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Speaker 1: From Chicago? Yes, Chicago, you're from Arlington Heights specifically, my

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Speaker 1: husband is from Palatine. Is he what high school did

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Speaker 1: he go to? He went to Palatine High School? Okay work? Yeah,

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Speaker 1: And I'm from Uswego, Illinois. Us we Go I've heard

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Speaker 1: of us we Go? Is that from a movie Oswegoswego,

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Speaker 1: New York and then in Oswego, Illinois. Maybe it sounds

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Speaker 1: like a Greek food. Yeah, it sounds like a yeast infection.

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Speaker 1: I was. I was based out of Chicago. Last week

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Speaker 1: a couple of weekends ago, because I had four shows

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Speaker 1: in like Rosamond, then Rockford, then Minneapolis, and then some

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Speaker 1: other cities. So I was just like, I'm so at

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Speaker 1: the end of my rope with my tour in terms

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Speaker 1: of energy sucks. So we just based ourselves out of

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Speaker 1: Chicago and just flew each time to wherever drove because

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Speaker 1: one place was like a half hour away, because I

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Speaker 1: had already done the city of Chicago. So we spent

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Speaker 1: four days in Chicago, and I was so fucking happy.

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Speaker 1: I was so happy in my hotel room. I was

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Speaker 1: acting like a like a little big girl like I

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Speaker 1: had finally had because I just need compact things. So

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Speaker 1: I had this beautiful hotel room, but I was treating

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Speaker 1: it like I had just become an adult. And I

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Speaker 1: was organizing my underwear and my socks in the drawers.

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Speaker 1: I was like, you're here for four nights, get comfortable.

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Speaker 1: I packed your bags, and then I was organizing my

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Speaker 1: medications and my makeup, and I was like, oh my god,

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Speaker 1: You're like it's like you have a dollhouse and you're

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Speaker 1: playing home. And then I realized Amy Schumer was at

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Speaker 1: the Chicago Theater. The same night, because we were texting

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Speaker 1: one morning and she's like, oh, are you in Chicago, Mike,

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Speaker 1: are you in Chicago? And of course we were like

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Speaker 1: two ships in the night. So a lot of comedy

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Speaker 1: comes out of Chicago people, and we have the person

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Speaker 1: here to prove it, Matteo Lane. So I was introduced

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Speaker 1: to Matteo, I don't know, a year ago, maybe probably

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Speaker 1: a little bit more than a year ago. And I'm

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Speaker 1: in love with you, and everyone who meets you is

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Speaker 1: in love with you because you're just such a joy

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Speaker 1: and such a gift and I can't wait for the

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Speaker 1: whole world to find out about this person. But I

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Speaker 1: forgot to tell you, or maybe I had to tell

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Speaker 1: you that. Gwyneth texted me and she was like, yell

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Speaker 1: see that's what she calls me. She goes, I can't

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Speaker 1: believe that you drew this. This is amazing, and I

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Speaker 1: was like, I said, esther, that's what I call her.

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Speaker 1: I go, esther. I have to be honest. I did

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Speaker 1: not draw that. I had a friend do it for me,

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Speaker 1: because this was a an assignment that was way outside

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Speaker 1: of my wheelhouse. But anyway, Matteo, tell us about yourself.

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Speaker 1: I want to know Okay, so you moved here to

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Speaker 1: become what you said early or I don't want to

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Speaker 1: butcher it, he moved here to Well I wasn't. I mean,

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Speaker 1: I started doing comedy in Chicago probably like twelve years ago,

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Speaker 1: and actually the first show I did was in a

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Speaker 1: gay club. No, I'm sorry, Actually the firstide it was.

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Speaker 1: It was in a bar and thirty or four members

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Speaker 1: of my family came to watch me do three minutes.

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Speaker 1: He's from a big Italian family in mafia. My grandma's

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Speaker 1: family probably was, but not anymore, just like nice Italians. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: sometimes you outgrow the mafia, I think, right, I think

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Speaker 1: you have to otherwise you're all in prison. Yeah it was.

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Speaker 1: I did three minutes on Marty to Rosa's show, He

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Speaker 1: Ransom Show, where the whole point of the show was

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Speaker 1: like you would win like sex toys or something. But

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Speaker 1: I don't know, but it was a really fun show.

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Speaker 1: I did three minutes, and I think I was just

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Speaker 1: impersonating Kathy Griffin because that's all I knew of stand

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Speaker 1: up at that time. And I had a great time.

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Speaker 1: It was fun. You just I was addicted immediately. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: well you put out it's so much material. I mean

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Speaker 1: you love to go on stage, right, I do. I.

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Speaker 1: I was just talking to a comic the other day

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Speaker 1: about this, where it's like when you start in comedy,

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Speaker 1: you feel like the community is huge, and then slowly

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Speaker 1: but surely, everyone sort of peels off into their own world,

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Speaker 1: like some writers or producers, and they eventually give up

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Speaker 1: comedy and you're just left with, oh God, it's just

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Speaker 1: me and three other people. I remember at open mics

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Speaker 1: still doing stand up in a weird way, you know,

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Speaker 1: and I enjoy I really love doing stand up like

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Speaker 1: I love being on stage. I love writing jokes. I

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Speaker 1: love the the lifestyle of the comedians. I love the

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Speaker 1: seller table, I love everything. I'm obsessed with it. I

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Speaker 1: love all of it. There's not a part of me

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Speaker 1: that's like, I'm doing this until I get a TV show.

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Speaker 1: I'm very happy to be known as a comedian. Oh

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Speaker 1: that's interesting, because I would definitely say that I'm the opposite.

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Speaker 1: When I was starting out, I was like, I'm doing

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Speaker 1: this till I get a TV show. And then and

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Speaker 1: then I was like, oh, I'll continue to do it.

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Speaker 1: And then I burnt myself out so hard that I

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Speaker 1: had to take a break from it. Because I just

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Speaker 1: went so hard and like with the show, with writing books,

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Speaker 1: then being on tour. I don't even know how I

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Speaker 1: did it. When I think about that, I don't know

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Speaker 1: how you because I'm exhausted without having a TV show

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Speaker 1: And you had a TV show four days, five days?

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Speaker 1: We how many times you guys film? Well, yeah, four

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Speaker 1: nights a week. We had it, so you had I

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Speaker 1: was an open micro then, but my dream was to

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Speaker 1: be on a Chelsea Handler panel. Well I'm still going

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Speaker 1: to happen. We're gonna bring so we're gonna bring a

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Speaker 1: TV show back, and you're gonna be on the panel.

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Speaker 1: Oh my god. Never. I don't want to like blow

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Speaker 1: smoke up your asked the whole time. But please don't

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Speaker 1: just give all right, don't don't. Nobody needs to hear

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Speaker 1: kipt let's blow if you were asked? Okay, great, and

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Speaker 1: many many others exactly, let's get your asshole fived and

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Speaker 1: many excuse me listeners. Okay, we're going to get graphic here.

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Speaker 1: But how many languages do you speak out the way

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Speaker 1: I speak English? I speak Italian, Spanish really proficient. I mean,

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Speaker 1: if you don't speak Spanish, I'm fluent. If you speak Spanish.

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Speaker 1: You're like, wow, he's really good. Even though I have

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Speaker 1: an Italian accent. I sound like Mario and Luigi and

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Speaker 1: French and then some German. Okay, some Germans. Five is

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Speaker 1: in that world. German is a tricky language for me

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Speaker 1: because I'm a Jew, so that hurts my ears a

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Speaker 1: little bit. I'm still not I'm still not down with

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Speaker 1: They were like, I was doing this citizen thing because

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Speaker 1: you can get citizenship, you know, like I have a

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Speaker 1: house in Spain, so I can get Spanish residency. But

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Speaker 1: because my mother was a German who fled from the war.

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Speaker 1: After the war, I'm able to get German citizenship. So

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Speaker 1: we've been working, like my assistant has been working with this,

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Speaker 1: like customs attorney or immigration attorney for a couple of

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Speaker 1: years to get my German citizenship. And then when we

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Speaker 1: all came down to it, I was like, Okay, Canada, Spain.

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Speaker 1: I just always want some exit strategy, just in case

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Speaker 1: Donald Trump Junior becomes elected one day, but by the way,

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Speaker 1: and then finally the other So the other day I'm

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Speaker 1: at the Spanish consulate with my assist and we're like,

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Speaker 1: he has to come with me to the appointment because

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Speaker 1: I'm so useless by myself and We're sitting there and

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Speaker 1: then he goes, okay, so for your German citizenship, and

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Speaker 1: I was like, do I really want a German citizenship?

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Speaker 1: And he's like, well, I think you do, and I'm like,

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Speaker 1: I don't know. I just don't know. Well, Berlin is

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Speaker 1: a very cool international city. They they seemed to have

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Speaker 1: repented and you have definitely a bent it. Then they

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Speaker 1: take accountability for what the hell happened. When you go

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Speaker 1: to Berlin. On every corner there is a memorial talking

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Speaker 1: about what happened in the Holocaust, and there are terrible,

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Speaker 1: horrifying museums that everyone should have to go to to

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Speaker 1: understand exactly what did happen and those atrocities. Actually, I

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Speaker 1: had a girlfriend that just came back Jamie Makeup Jamie Greenberg.

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Speaker 1: She came back from her Israel birthright trip and it

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Speaker 1: was so funny. She's like, you know, there's only fifteen

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Speaker 1: million Jews in the world, and I was like what,

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Speaker 1: I go, that's not right, fifteen million, and she's like yeah, Chelsea.

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Speaker 1: And then I googled it and I was like, oh

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Speaker 1: my god, that is scary. I mean, that's why Jewish

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Speaker 1: people have to say to everybody anytime they say anything,

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Speaker 1: shut up. That is not a lot of people. That's

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Speaker 1: not a lot of people at all. I think the

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Speaker 1: population of Italy is like eighty million, and that's considered

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Speaker 1: a small country. And you just came back from Italy again?

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Speaker 1: Do you go there pretty often? Probably like four times

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Speaker 1: a year? How fun is that? It's great? I have

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Speaker 1: like a whole group of friends there that I hang

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Speaker 1: out with. We have three hour dinners and I roll

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Speaker 1: cigarettes even though don' how to and just do passato

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Speaker 1: and do I'll do shows in Italian with Francesco to

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Speaker 1: Carl It was like a great Italian comedian and I like,

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Speaker 1: you want to find a house in Rome? I want

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Speaker 1: to live in Italy. Oh you will? You totally will.

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Speaker 1: That's so cool. And so how do you have to

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Speaker 1: switch it up? Do you have to switch it up

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Speaker 1: because it's a different language? I mean yeah, because one time,

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Speaker 1: the first time I went to Italy and I tried

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Speaker 1: to just translate without writing any new jokes. I was

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Speaker 1: an idiot. I had this joke that like an old

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Speaker 1: joke of mine about how I went to Starbucks and

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Speaker 1: they asked for my name, and I said it was mateo,

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Speaker 1: and she turned around and made my drink and she

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Speaker 1: literally wrote potato. And my thought process was like, Okay,

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Speaker 1: when you hear potato, you stopped writing on the car.

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Speaker 1: That is when you say I'm sorry, it's been a

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Speaker 1: long day. What is your name? So I was like,

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Speaker 1: I'll just say that. So I started saying in Italian.

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Speaker 1: I was in Florence, I think, and I was like,

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Speaker 1: I was like, oh, they don't rhyme Anyian. Also, I

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Speaker 1: don't have Starbucks in Italy, so they don't even know

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Speaker 1: what I'm talking about. And just a bunch of stairs.

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Speaker 1: And then I quickly turned into an eighties comic and

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Speaker 1: I was like, the difference between Americans and Italians are

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Speaker 1: like the most hackship in Italian. But I was just like, wow,

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Speaker 1: I was not prepared for the fact that I can't

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Speaker 1: do any of my British bake off jokes, you know

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Speaker 1: what I mean, Like, I have to figure this out.

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Speaker 1: But what I find interesting about Italian audiences is that

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Speaker 1: they all clap instead of laugh. Really, they just sort

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Speaker 1: of clap, and I'm like, I don't know if they're

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Speaker 1: being really polite or they're trying to acknowledge, they understand me.

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Speaker 1: But there's a lot of clapping going on and I'm

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Speaker 1: going to need more laughing. So it sounds more like

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Speaker 1: the Olympics. It does it like holding up seven At

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Speaker 1: the end where they dismount off of the thing, they're

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Speaker 1: like like clapping, Yeah, Although if they were laughing at

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Speaker 1: the Olympics, that would be really fucked up, especially how

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Speaker 1: after how hard those people have worked. So you go

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Speaker 1: to Rome and you hang out, like what do you

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Speaker 1: go for? Two weeks? Three weeks? Like how long were you?

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Speaker 1: I was there for a week. I brought my guy Chris,

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Speaker 1: who does all chriskword is all my social media stuff,

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Speaker 1: and we did this whole beautiful documentary of my life

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Speaker 1: in Rome and where we put it up on my

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Speaker 1: YouTube page, and we're going to have different episodes like

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Speaker 1: cooked with this chef Luciano when he shows us how

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Speaker 1: to make carbonada and we have my friend and then

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Speaker 1: it shows how to make and all this fun cooking

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Speaker 1: stuff and I had a fucking blast. Oh my god,

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Speaker 1: what a life. You're totally going to have a place there,

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Speaker 1: I hope. So I need to find an Italian husband,

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Speaker 1: is what I would like. Well, what's the gay scene

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Speaker 1: in Italy. Do people get married there? Do they just date?

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Speaker 1: Like New York, the gay scene is I think l A. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: it's very chaot. I mean I feel like Midwestern. I mean,

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Speaker 1: I feel like it's true for all stereotypes for parts

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Speaker 1: of the country. Like it feels like Midwestern gays are

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Speaker 1: a lot calmer than either Coast of gays and l

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Speaker 1: A gays are just it's too much. It's it's too much.

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Speaker 1: They're so not not too gay, they're too mean to

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Speaker 1: each other. There's a lot of it's all about the

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Speaker 1: way you look, it's all about what you have to offer,

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Speaker 1: and it's all about your standing in society. It's brutal.

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Speaker 1: It would be like it would be like living in

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Speaker 1: a Lucky Charms box. That's judging you. I mean, that's

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Speaker 1: sort of how I view West Hollywood. But you know,

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Speaker 1: to tell you the truth, I don't know. I've been

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Speaker 1: so since doing stand up, I have been in a

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Speaker 1: way so removed from like gay night life, which is

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Speaker 1: not the only way gays go out obviously, but like

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Speaker 1: there I'm just saying, like stereotypically speaking, like gays would

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Speaker 1: go out and go to clubs and go all I

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Speaker 1: do is stand up and hang out with comics, And

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Speaker 1: I did find that my self esteems a little better

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Speaker 1: because I do find like if I walk into a club,

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Speaker 1: my first thought was how do I look? Do I

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Speaker 1: look good enough? And are they judging me? Who I'm like,

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Speaker 1: They're just it's a lot of my insecurities come up,

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Speaker 1: not that it's actually happening. But if I walk into

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Speaker 1: the comedy seller, I know they respect me for my

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Speaker 1: intellect and we're gonna sit down and we're gonna get

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Speaker 1: messy and we're gonna talk and me and Keith Robinson

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Speaker 1: are gonna scream at each other and like have a

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Speaker 1: fun time. So now to tell you the truth, like

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Speaker 1: I haven't I don't even know how to go out

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Speaker 1: in the gay scene anymore. Like I can't tell if

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Speaker 1: I'm feeling left out or if I've purposed. I don't

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Speaker 1: know what I'm like in this weird I live a

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Speaker 1: straight comic in a way, you know what I mean? Well,

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Speaker 1: I think that's I mean, it raised an interesting point

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Speaker 1: because I think stand up really calcifies a different set

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Speaker 1: of confidence, Like you have so much more to offer,

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Speaker 1: so you start identifying or when you're going to label yourself.

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Speaker 1: That becomes like the first label instead of the second

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Speaker 1: or the third when you're stand up and that's your

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Speaker 1: whole life and that's what you're known for. I think

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Speaker 1: your identity. It's like I remember growing up, I didn't

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Speaker 1: want to ever be I just thought of as a

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Speaker 1: dumb blonde. You know. I wanted people to take me seriously.

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Speaker 1: Like now people take me a little too seriously, you

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Speaker 1: know what I mean, Like I'm no, I'm cute too,

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Speaker 1: like that I'm not scary, it's scary, and I'm like, wait,

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Speaker 1: I want to be that blonde again. That wasn't that bright,

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Speaker 1: you know, like we're we're loud or whatever. But I

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Speaker 1: think that stand up cultivates. Yeah, you're just confident. I

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Speaker 1: mean it's badass to get up there and fucking buy

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Speaker 1: yourself with a microphone. It is. It's and now I'm

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Speaker 1: so comfortable with it. Do you ever get that feeling

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Speaker 1: where like you're walking out and there's thousands of people

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Speaker 1: waiting for you and you're like, what am I going

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Speaker 1: to have for dinner tonight? Like you know what I mean,

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Speaker 1: Like it's so normal now, which is good. I think

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Speaker 1: that's the best performance comes from it. Being completely normal

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Speaker 1: on stage. I don't think nervous energy. That always audiences

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Speaker 1: pick up on if the comic is nervous, so to speak.

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Speaker 1: But yeah, I don't know, it's I think audiences pick

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Speaker 1: up and when a comic is nervous, I think so

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Speaker 1: for sure. It's like a owner who is carrying their

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Speaker 1: dog and they say the dog can feel if you're nervous,

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Speaker 1: or like they yeah, yeah, of course. It's hard to

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Speaker 1: see someone nervous, like it's not a pleasant feeling. Nobody

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Speaker 1: enjoys that. No. Matteo could also sing opera by the way,

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Speaker 1: he's an opera singer. He's I mean, what can't you do? Date? Um,

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Speaker 1: that's about it. We're gonna find you a date on

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Speaker 1: this podcast. We've hooked up a lot of people on

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Speaker 1: this podcast. Actually, oh you guys, we should set me

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Speaker 1: up then. I'm looking for and specifically people who wrote

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Speaker 1: in being like I loved his intellect when I heard

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Speaker 1: him on the podcast, because obviously they can't see anybody.

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Speaker 1: They're just like, can you send my Instagram to him?

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Speaker 1: This was a previous previous guest, but we can definitely, Yeah,

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Speaker 1: I mean, if you're into Matteo. First of all d

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Speaker 1: m him right, that's a good way to be dating people.

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Speaker 1: But also, yeah, if you're listening to this, because obviously

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Speaker 1: we have no straight men listening to this. If you have,

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Speaker 1: If you're listening to this and you think what kind

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Speaker 1: of guy, tell me about what kind of guy you

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Speaker 1: think you're looking for, because I've been around you, and

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Speaker 1: I've seen you with a couple of different guys, and

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Speaker 1: it's hard to pinpoint a type which I can recognize

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Speaker 1: in myself. I also don't have a type, right, I'm

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Speaker 1: they the older I get I'm sort of more interested

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Speaker 1: in someone who's going to make me laugh. Yeah. I mean,

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Speaker 1: I know that sounds so dumb, but it is true.

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Speaker 1: I'm sort of over like my insecure twenties where I

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Speaker 1: think I need someone hot to validate me in any

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Speaker 1: kind of way, Like I'm really just sort of interested,

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Speaker 1: like does this person have anything interesting to talk about? Yeah?

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Speaker 1: And also I think when you're a comic and you're

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Speaker 1: already like innately funny person, I don't think that it

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Speaker 1: necessarily you don't need someone actually to make you laugh.

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Speaker 1: You need somebody who gets the joke, Like you don't

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Speaker 1: have to make the joke, but you have to be

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Speaker 1: in on the joke and you can't not get the joke,

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Speaker 1: because that's a turn off, because it's the worst when

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Speaker 1: you're when you really do have something funny and you

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Speaker 1: say it to your partner and they stare at you

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Speaker 1: and you think, damn it, I wish I was with

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Speaker 1: other comics or my friends. Yeah. I I sometimes I

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Speaker 1: see relationships of people, gay couples, and they travel with

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Speaker 1: each other and they're with each other and they're best friends,

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Speaker 1: and it's so foreign to me. I've not had that

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Speaker 1: experience yet in terms of dating, where like the person

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Speaker 1: is legitimately my partner or best friends. So I do

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Speaker 1: feel quite independent that way, Like I don't know. I

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Speaker 1: also now I'm so independent, I don't know how I

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Speaker 1: would customize my life for somebody else. Yeah, but that

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Speaker 1: always works itself out when you wanted to. When you're

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Speaker 1: really into somebody, you may compromises. You know you're like

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Speaker 1: into them, and so that that isn't Why is this

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Speaker 1: bouncing up and down? It's like reverberating just from this.

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Speaker 1: I have a screen over my microphone, you guys, and

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Speaker 1: it's just been vibrating the whole morning. And I'm not

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Speaker 1: even touching it. It's it's my mouth. My mouth is

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Speaker 1: so powerful that it's forceful. Such a forceful mouth. But also,

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Speaker 1: somebody who takes themselves too seriously is a hot is

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Speaker 1: such a turn off. I think that goes hand in

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Speaker 1: hand with lacking a sense of humor, as people who

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Speaker 1: take themselves too seriously, that's never hot. Being funny is

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Speaker 1: down on my list because of course, anyone could make

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Speaker 1: you laugh. It makes you laugh as sexy. You like

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Speaker 1: them immediately anytime somebody can evoke that feeling from you.

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Speaker 1: He's laughing at my bouncing microphone. These are like my boobies.

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Speaker 1: It's taking the place of my boobies my screen. I

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Speaker 1: do like guys that are more shy. I find myself

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Speaker 1: more attracted to those who are introverts. This last guy

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Speaker 1: I was sort of seeing who I really liked. It

401
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Speaker 1: unfortunately didn't work because of distance. He was just like,

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Speaker 1: I can't do long distance, which I understand, and I'm

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Speaker 1: not here to change anybody. But he was very shy,

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Speaker 1: and there was something about it that I kind of

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Speaker 1: loved because I I think I already get enough attention

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Speaker 1: that I don't want to be with someone who also

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Speaker 1: is see king a ton of attention, Like I'm also

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Speaker 1: not even seeking attention outside of the stage. Does that

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Speaker 1: make sense? I sit at home and play Fortnite. I'm

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Speaker 1: not trying to do anything, you know, So I I

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Speaker 1: like sort of shy your guys more quiet guys, Yeah,

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Speaker 1: but don't you find more quiet guys have less to say.

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Speaker 1: But when they start to open up was when I

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Speaker 1: find adorable. Like this last guy was painfully shy, and

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Speaker 1: then as he opened up, I really got to see

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Speaker 1: his sense of humor. And then you almost feel more

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Speaker 1: special because you're like, oh, wow, he's opening up like

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Speaker 1: something I've I've done something to help him open up,

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Speaker 1: and now he feels comfortable with me, and I feel

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Speaker 1: I have an insight on how this person functions in

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Speaker 1: the world, and I like their sense of humor, like

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Speaker 1: I enjoy that. And how long did you guys date for? Well?

423
00:19:41,320 --> 00:19:44,639
Speaker 1: We talked. We dated and talked for like almost six months.

424
00:19:45,080 --> 00:19:46,800
Speaker 1: He lived long distance. I met him when I was

425
00:19:46,880 --> 00:19:49,040
Speaker 1: doing shows and we just kept talking and then it

426
00:19:49,119 --> 00:19:52,360
Speaker 1: turned into facetiming Morning New night. Then we took vacations

427
00:19:52,400 --> 00:19:54,160
Speaker 1: with each other and finally got to a point after

428
00:19:54,240 --> 00:19:55,639
Speaker 1: like six months I was like, well, how do you

429
00:19:55,640 --> 00:19:58,399
Speaker 1: feel about long distance? And he was just honest. He

430
00:19:58,480 --> 00:20:00,760
Speaker 1: was like, I can't. I have too many in securities

431
00:20:00,760 --> 00:20:03,280
Speaker 1: about that and I can't have someone who's far from

432
00:20:03,320 --> 00:20:05,280
Speaker 1: me and it's just not going to work. And I

433
00:20:05,440 --> 00:20:09,040
Speaker 1: was like, well, that's disappointing. And so that's it. So

434
00:20:09,200 --> 00:20:11,080
Speaker 1: what if you wanted to continue just seeing each other

435
00:20:11,200 --> 00:20:13,800
Speaker 1: like on vacation, That's not a thing to me. It

436
00:20:13,840 --> 00:20:17,120
Speaker 1: probably wouldn't be great because it's like I really liked

437
00:20:17,200 --> 00:20:18,760
Speaker 1: him and I expressed that and he liked me too,

438
00:20:18,960 --> 00:20:21,520
Speaker 1: and if and he even said, like, we continue what

439
00:20:21,640 --> 00:20:23,480
Speaker 1: we have, and I'm like, well, if I'm I'm trying

440
00:20:23,520 --> 00:20:26,200
Speaker 1: to make an investment, I'm thirty six, I'm trying to

441
00:20:26,320 --> 00:20:29,560
Speaker 1: like make a foundation with somebody, and so if it

442
00:20:29,800 --> 00:20:32,320
Speaker 1: just then it feels like I'm just giving you entertainment

443
00:20:32,720 --> 00:20:35,000
Speaker 1: which will make me resent you, and you'll feel cheap

444
00:20:35,119 --> 00:20:37,200
Speaker 1: for that. I will feel cheap for that. Right. So

445
00:20:37,320 --> 00:20:39,280
Speaker 1: the answer was I want to bring up a good

446
00:20:39,280 --> 00:20:41,000
Speaker 1: point because I don't think gay men are getting enough

447
00:20:41,040 --> 00:20:44,920
Speaker 1: credit for nipping monkeypox in the bud. But but the

448
00:20:45,080 --> 00:20:46,960
Speaker 1: saying is in the bud, but I'm going to change

449
00:20:47,000 --> 00:20:51,120
Speaker 1: it to the button it started because when the government

450
00:20:51,200 --> 00:20:52,640
Speaker 1: came out. I was out to dinner with a few

451
00:20:52,680 --> 00:20:56,800
Speaker 1: gay guys last night, as one does, and they were like, yeah,

452
00:20:56,880 --> 00:20:59,040
Speaker 1: we all got vaccinated right away. When when we found

453
00:20:59,040 --> 00:21:01,720
Speaker 1: out about monkey box, and I was like, oh my god,

454
00:21:01,800 --> 00:21:03,960
Speaker 1: that's what happened. Because I'm like, where's monkey pox? I

455
00:21:04,040 --> 00:21:05,840
Speaker 1: thought this was going to take off. I was kind

456
00:21:05,840 --> 00:21:08,119
Speaker 1: of looking forward to seeing what a ship show that

457
00:21:08,240 --> 00:21:09,680
Speaker 1: was going to be, you know, in a real fucked

458
00:21:09,760 --> 00:21:12,520
Speaker 1: up way. Obviously, I'm glad it didn't take off. And

459
00:21:12,680 --> 00:21:14,919
Speaker 1: they're like, oh, it's us. Gay men are so responsible

460
00:21:15,000 --> 00:21:16,560
Speaker 1: that we all just nipped in the bud before it

461
00:21:16,640 --> 00:21:18,520
Speaker 1: became a thing. Yeah, like most gays, we love it

462
00:21:18,600 --> 00:21:20,720
Speaker 1: for something. It becomes really big and then it's done.

463
00:21:21,000 --> 00:21:23,040
Speaker 1: There's my second monkey pox. You can still see my

464
00:21:23,119 --> 00:21:25,440
Speaker 1: second monkey pox shot. Oh wow, I can't see it.

465
00:21:25,800 --> 00:21:28,400
Speaker 1: It was very interesting when that happened. You know. At first,

466
00:21:28,440 --> 00:21:30,119
Speaker 1: it was like someone's like monkey pox is coming, and

467
00:21:30,160 --> 00:21:32,800
Speaker 1: all the gays were like, girl, but not monkey pox.

468
00:21:32,840 --> 00:21:35,040
Speaker 1: And then I met I had five people in my

469
00:21:35,119 --> 00:21:37,960
Speaker 1: life who had it, and I was like, okay, I'm

470
00:21:38,040 --> 00:21:41,520
Speaker 1: going to abstain from sex, or if I do, I

471
00:21:41,600 --> 00:21:44,679
Speaker 1: will have I'll be open and honest with my sexual

472
00:21:44,760 --> 00:21:47,800
Speaker 1: partners and wait till the vaccine is available. And then

473
00:21:47,800 --> 00:21:50,680
Speaker 1: he said it it is eight percent effective after four weeks,

474
00:21:50,720 --> 00:21:52,879
Speaker 1: and so I waited after four weeks. So basically July

475
00:21:53,200 --> 00:21:56,359
Speaker 1: and August, I just didn't have any sex, which might

476
00:21:56,400 --> 00:21:57,920
Speaker 1: not sound like a lot, but to gay men, and

477
00:21:58,000 --> 00:22:00,879
Speaker 1: that's like yeah, I mean no, I understand. Yeah, And

478
00:22:01,119 --> 00:22:05,080
Speaker 1: that's almost like seven years to a regular person, it's

479
00:22:05,119 --> 00:22:08,240
Speaker 1: a long time. And I'm getting real tired of jacking off.

480
00:22:08,359 --> 00:22:12,480
Speaker 1: So you know, sometimes I jack. I just do it

481
00:22:12,560 --> 00:22:14,160
Speaker 1: like I'm going to the bank. I'm like, let's get

482
00:22:14,200 --> 00:22:16,320
Speaker 1: this over. I just I'll pretend to be my own wife.

483
00:22:16,359 --> 00:22:18,600
Speaker 1: And I'm like, not tonight, honey, I just can't. I'm

484
00:22:18,680 --> 00:22:21,000
Speaker 1: so over jacking off. But yeah, we all we all

485
00:22:21,080 --> 00:22:22,800
Speaker 1: didn't put in the butt. We did. The rates have

486
00:22:22,920 --> 00:22:26,440
Speaker 1: gone down significantly. No one's talking about monkey pox. I

487
00:22:26,560 --> 00:22:28,920
Speaker 1: still I'm talking about it because I like, I just

488
00:22:29,440 --> 00:22:33,080
Speaker 1: I just can't believe how discriminatory that advisory was. You know,

489
00:22:33,760 --> 00:22:36,119
Speaker 1: like gay men are the only people that can, like

490
00:22:36,280 --> 00:22:38,080
Speaker 1: not the only people, but that's how you're gonna get

491
00:22:38,119 --> 00:22:39,680
Speaker 1: it by anal sex. And it's like first of all,

492
00:22:39,960 --> 00:22:42,640
Speaker 1: regular people are having anal sex, you know, not non

493
00:22:42,760 --> 00:22:45,520
Speaker 1: gay people are having sex like it's a trend. It's

494
00:22:45,600 --> 00:22:48,320
Speaker 1: odd and people are into it big time, and you'd

495
00:22:48,359 --> 00:22:50,560
Speaker 1: be surprised if you didn't think you like it. You

496
00:22:50,680 --> 00:22:54,320
Speaker 1: might surprise yourself and my like at all. I have

497
00:22:54,400 --> 00:22:57,119
Speaker 1: a lot of girlfriends in l I who casually are like,

498
00:22:57,160 --> 00:22:59,840
Speaker 1: have you tried an? I'm like, oh my god, really

499
00:23:00,320 --> 00:23:02,959
Speaker 1: this is our conversation now, like, yes, I've tried an

500
00:23:03,280 --> 00:23:05,560
Speaker 1: who has a tried? And my girlfriends like, oh my god,

501
00:23:05,720 --> 00:23:08,120
Speaker 1: I love it. I love it. I'm like, first, well

502
00:23:08,160 --> 00:23:11,920
Speaker 1: shut up. You sound like a fucking asshole. No pun

503
00:23:11,960 --> 00:23:14,840
Speaker 1: intended again, you guys, honestly, this is like possessed. Do

504
00:23:14,920 --> 00:23:19,120
Speaker 1: you see this thing? I'm not touching the table or anything,

505
00:23:19,760 --> 00:23:22,840
Speaker 1: so it must just be we're haunted. We're being haunted.

506
00:23:23,440 --> 00:23:27,040
Speaker 1: Bringing a Ghost Adventures show in here. It's my favorite show,

507
00:23:27,119 --> 00:23:29,600
Speaker 1: by the way, Ghost Adventures they've been on for twenty

508
00:23:29,760 --> 00:23:34,760
Speaker 1: nine seasons. They have not found a single ghost. Is

509
00:23:34,880 --> 00:23:39,560
Speaker 1: my favorite show. Hosted by this asshole named Zach and

510
00:23:39,640 --> 00:23:42,800
Speaker 1: he says every episode money mus Zach and I'm a demonologist.

511
00:23:43,000 --> 00:23:46,240
Speaker 1: And my joke is, you know, my parents were disappointment.

512
00:23:46,240 --> 00:23:50,239
Speaker 1: I told him I was gay. I cannot imagine if

513
00:23:50,280 --> 00:23:51,960
Speaker 1: I had to sit them down and be like mom

514
00:23:52,000 --> 00:23:54,440
Speaker 1: and dad, I'm going into demonology, they'd be like, we

515
00:23:54,600 --> 00:23:57,040
Speaker 1: rather you suck a dick. At least it's there. I

516
00:23:57,119 --> 00:23:59,800
Speaker 1: mean it is. I will watch the Travel Channel is

517
00:23:59,840 --> 00:24:02,200
Speaker 1: now just ghost shows. That's it. Zach Osborne has a

518
00:24:02,240 --> 00:24:05,600
Speaker 1: ghost show. Everyone's got one, and I will watch it

519
00:24:05,600 --> 00:24:07,040
Speaker 1: when I'm on the road. I turn on the Travel

520
00:24:07,119 --> 00:24:09,840
Speaker 1: Channel and just watch these assholes walk around houses for hours.

521
00:24:09,960 --> 00:24:12,760
Speaker 1: I love it. It's so stupid, so stupid. When are

522
00:24:12,800 --> 00:24:16,359
Speaker 1: people and people love ghosts, love it, They love outer space,

523
00:24:16,840 --> 00:24:20,920
Speaker 1: they love UFOs, and they love aliens and ghosts and

524
00:24:21,000 --> 00:24:23,159
Speaker 1: the US. At least there's like a video of a

525
00:24:23,280 --> 00:24:25,600
Speaker 1: thing where like, well, what is that? That's a UFO?

526
00:24:25,760 --> 00:24:32,680
Speaker 1: This ring light that's a ghost and that's a UFO. Yeah.

527
00:24:32,760 --> 00:24:35,480
Speaker 1: I hate when anyone talks about anything like that. I've

528
00:24:35,640 --> 00:24:38,960
Speaker 1: I've felt the presence of what would probably be a ghost,

529
00:24:39,040 --> 00:24:41,600
Speaker 1: but I would never even focus on it for more

530
00:24:41,640 --> 00:24:43,919
Speaker 1: than thirty seconds. Like my friend I dated this guy

531
00:24:43,960 --> 00:24:45,879
Speaker 1: who had a house. I've been Shelter Island and it

532
00:24:46,000 --> 00:24:49,040
Speaker 1: was fucking haunted. It was definitely haunted. The vibe in there,

533
00:24:49,119 --> 00:24:51,240
Speaker 1: the energy. I was like, this is off. The doors

534
00:24:51,240 --> 00:24:53,360
Speaker 1: would shut all the time, slam all the time, You'd

535
00:24:53,359 --> 00:24:56,040
Speaker 1: hear footsteps creeping up the house, and I was like,

536
00:24:56,160 --> 00:24:58,240
Speaker 1: you're evil. I can tell that you're evil and that

537
00:24:58,359 --> 00:25:00,320
Speaker 1: your house is haunted, and that's why we're to break

538
00:25:00,400 --> 00:25:02,320
Speaker 1: up because you would have a ghost in your house.

539
00:25:02,359 --> 00:25:06,119
Speaker 1: You're fucking weirdo. I definitely have felt that, but then

540
00:25:06,200 --> 00:25:08,440
Speaker 1: people really hyper focus on it. It's like, well, the

541
00:25:08,560 --> 00:25:10,320
Speaker 1: ghost isn't gonna get you, it's not gonna come and

542
00:25:10,440 --> 00:25:13,960
Speaker 1: stab you. And also we're never going to see them. No,

543
00:25:14,560 --> 00:25:18,480
Speaker 1: we're not. We're never going to My mom is Italian Mexicans,

544
00:25:18,560 --> 00:25:21,440
Speaker 1: so if anyone is Italian Mexican, immediately you have multiple

545
00:25:21,520 --> 00:25:24,159
Speaker 1: ants in the family who speak to dead people. So

546
00:25:24,520 --> 00:25:26,440
Speaker 1: you know, my mom has a sister that does. And

547
00:25:27,280 --> 00:25:29,719
Speaker 1: it's just so funny to me. I don't believe in ghosts,

548
00:25:29,800 --> 00:25:32,879
Speaker 1: like at all, not at all, I mean, but of

549
00:25:32,920 --> 00:25:35,239
Speaker 1: course I'm scared. Like if I watched Insidious the other

550
00:25:35,320 --> 00:25:37,320
Speaker 1: night with Nicole Buyer and I literally was walking home.

551
00:25:38,760 --> 00:25:41,080
Speaker 1: I'm in New York. What's Insidious? I missed? That was

552
00:25:41,200 --> 00:25:44,520
Speaker 1: like fifteen years ago. But it is like the first

553
00:25:44,640 --> 00:25:47,320
Speaker 1: two acts of the movie are genuinely very scary. It's

554
00:25:47,320 --> 00:25:51,520
Speaker 1: about a kid who goes into a coma and basically

555
00:25:51,760 --> 00:25:53,480
Speaker 1: they find out when they get a psychic that he's

556
00:25:53,520 --> 00:25:56,200
Speaker 1: astral projecting and the demon wants his body and he

557
00:25:56,280 --> 00:25:59,840
Speaker 1: asked for projected too far and the demon captured his soul.

558
00:26:00,080 --> 00:26:01,520
Speaker 1: Now his body is just laying there and they have

559
00:26:01,600 --> 00:26:05,000
Speaker 1: to go into that world and bring him back. Chills.

560
00:26:05,040 --> 00:26:08,840
Speaker 1: It's so scary, you have to watch it. Astral projecting. Yeah,

561
00:26:08,880 --> 00:26:11,320
Speaker 1: Like you sleep and you see yourself when you're sleeping,

562
00:26:11,880 --> 00:26:14,160
Speaker 1: so basically your soul leaves your body and you kind

563
00:26:14,160 --> 00:26:16,640
Speaker 1: of walk around and your and the kid is four

564
00:26:16,760 --> 00:26:18,720
Speaker 1: or five, so we think, so I'm having all these dreams.

565
00:26:18,760 --> 00:26:22,720
Speaker 1: Isn't that just sleepwalking? No, But like the body's there,

566
00:26:23,080 --> 00:26:27,520
Speaker 1: his spirits doing okay, sorry, it's like a meditation thing too.

567
00:26:28,119 --> 00:26:31,000
Speaker 1: It's a meditation thing. You're absolutely right when you meditate,

568
00:26:31,080 --> 00:26:34,080
Speaker 1: because when you really get into deep meditation, you start

569
00:26:34,160 --> 00:26:36,600
Speaker 1: to see your body sitting down or lying down and

570
00:26:36,680 --> 00:26:38,359
Speaker 1: you can get away from it. That's happened to me

571
00:26:38,480 --> 00:26:42,399
Speaker 1: before for sure. Well make sure demons coming to steal you.

572
00:26:42,600 --> 00:26:48,000
Speaker 1: I'm a ghost. Okay, I'm a ghost that meditates. Okay,

573
00:26:48,160 --> 00:26:51,760
Speaker 1: so we've decided you like quiet guys. That's that's pretty

574
00:26:51,840 --> 00:26:54,360
Speaker 1: much it. That's all. We're looking for a funny quiet

575
00:26:55,160 --> 00:26:59,840
Speaker 1: You can't believe in ghosts. Sexually compatible? What does that mean? Though?

576
00:27:00,040 --> 00:27:02,280
Speaker 1: Sexually combatible? You know some of that turns you on.

577
00:27:02,440 --> 00:27:05,440
Speaker 1: I guess chemistry. That chemistry, Yes, you're right, that's the

578
00:27:05,520 --> 00:27:09,840
Speaker 1: proper word, not the homosexual me being like sexual. They

579
00:27:09,920 --> 00:27:12,000
Speaker 1: have to like enjoy anal sex. I mean that's a

580
00:27:12,080 --> 00:27:15,119
Speaker 1: prerequisite for being gay. I said, don't that's true. I

581
00:27:15,200 --> 00:27:17,760
Speaker 1: have a friend who claims that he's never enjoyed anal sex.

582
00:27:17,960 --> 00:27:22,440
Speaker 1: We actually have a caller today about that very issue. Amazingly,

583
00:27:22,640 --> 00:27:25,320
Speaker 1: Oh is it? Okay, okay, great, this is I guess this.

584
00:27:26,240 --> 00:27:31,680
Speaker 1: I guess this episode was curtailed for somebody. Oh that's perfect.

585
00:27:31,920 --> 00:27:34,800
Speaker 1: I love us. Okay, Well, let's get started. We're going

586
00:27:34,840 --> 00:27:36,920
Speaker 1: to give advice. You know how this goes, right, we

587
00:27:37,040 --> 00:27:39,760
Speaker 1: give advice callers. People are fucking serious. So you have

588
00:27:39,840 --> 00:27:45,080
Speaker 1: to put on your medical cap okay, your psychiaty, psychiatry, psychologist, whatever.

589
00:27:45,880 --> 00:27:48,320
Speaker 1: Have my aunt's number on speed dial. Should we need

590
00:27:48,359 --> 00:27:50,240
Speaker 1: to talk to ghosts. I'm a farm to table going

591
00:27:50,280 --> 00:27:52,840
Speaker 1: to collegist, so I'll take care of the female anatomy,

592
00:27:52,920 --> 00:27:54,640
Speaker 1: and you're going to take care of the male anatomy,

593
00:27:55,160 --> 00:27:57,879
Speaker 1: and then any emotional problems will just jump it together,

594
00:27:58,000 --> 00:28:02,560
Speaker 1: all three of us did. We'll take a quick break

595
00:28:02,600 --> 00:28:10,320
Speaker 1: and we'll be right back with Chelsea and MATEO. We're back.

596
00:28:10,760 --> 00:28:16,400
Speaker 1: We're back well. Our first email comes from Rachel. For context,

597
00:28:16,560 --> 00:28:18,639
Speaker 1: g and her husband are about thirty five, and the

598
00:28:18,680 --> 00:28:23,800
Speaker 1: couple of friends in this email are late twenties. Dear Chelsea. Recently,

599
00:28:23,880 --> 00:28:25,680
Speaker 1: I had a friend and her husband over for what

600
00:28:25,880 --> 00:28:28,840
Speaker 1: was supposed to be a relaxing Sunday night dinner. I

601
00:28:29,040 --> 00:28:33,240
Speaker 1: prepared homemade lasagna and a delicious Tira messou from scratch.

602
00:28:33,280 --> 00:28:35,440
Speaker 1: I would love to see that homemade lasagna, but go on,

603
00:28:37,920 --> 00:28:44,360
Speaker 1: I'm believe he doesn't believe it. He's like, no, I'm

604
00:28:44,400 --> 00:28:46,720
Speaker 1: a good hostess and always go above and beyond to

605
00:28:46,800 --> 00:28:49,920
Speaker 1: make sure my house is spotless and my guests are comfortable.

606
00:28:50,480 --> 00:28:52,400
Speaker 1: I asked my friend what time they'd like to eat

607
00:28:52,520 --> 00:28:55,440
Speaker 1: so that I could have dinner prepared accordingly. She replied

608
00:28:55,640 --> 00:28:58,960
Speaker 1: six pm. I worked for hours to shop, prepare, and

609
00:28:59,000 --> 00:29:00,840
Speaker 1: cook the meal for every one and had it ready

610
00:29:00,880 --> 00:29:04,160
Speaker 1: by six. Sounds annoying, by the way, this sounds like

611
00:29:04,240 --> 00:29:06,840
Speaker 1: someone who's already complaining about too much, but I'll stick

612
00:29:06,920 --> 00:29:09,840
Speaker 1: with you. Also, got to have people come earlier than

613
00:29:09,880 --> 00:29:11,720
Speaker 1: you plan to eat, so you're not like sitting and

614
00:29:11,800 --> 00:29:14,040
Speaker 1: eating right when they get there. But also, lasagna takes

615
00:29:14,080 --> 00:29:17,080
Speaker 1: four hours to make anyways, Usually lasagna, if people come late,

616
00:29:17,120 --> 00:29:19,080
Speaker 1: you throw back in the oven for fifteen minutes and

617
00:29:19,120 --> 00:29:25,720
Speaker 1: you serve. It's not like we're already mad at her. Yeah,

618
00:29:25,800 --> 00:29:28,640
Speaker 1: I hear you. I'm vegan and my guests are not,

619
00:29:28,840 --> 00:29:32,240
Speaker 1: so I prepared to Lasagna's and chopped for ingredients that

620
00:29:32,320 --> 00:29:35,479
Speaker 1: I normally wouldn't buy from my household. My friend texted

621
00:29:35,560 --> 00:29:37,960
Speaker 1: me at five fifty two saying they were just leaving

622
00:29:38,000 --> 00:29:41,480
Speaker 1: an event they attended earlier in the afternoon. At six thirty,

623
00:29:41,640 --> 00:29:43,880
Speaker 1: she texted me again to let me know she'd picked

624
00:29:43,920 --> 00:29:46,040
Speaker 1: up her baby from the sitters and was en route

625
00:29:46,080 --> 00:29:49,240
Speaker 1: to the house Chelsea. They arrived a whole hour later

626
00:29:49,320 --> 00:29:52,760
Speaker 1: than they said they would like to sit down and eat. Seven. No, six,

627
00:29:52,920 --> 00:29:55,560
Speaker 1: there was the call time and they showed up at seven. Yeah,

628
00:29:55,640 --> 00:30:00,959
Speaker 1: pay attention, you fucking too okay, oh, okay, fine. They

629
00:30:01,040 --> 00:30:03,920
Speaker 1: show up, apologize, and we get ready to eat. In

630
00:30:04,040 --> 00:30:06,880
Speaker 1: an unfortunate turn of events, her baby slipped and bumped

631
00:30:06,920 --> 00:30:09,920
Speaker 1: his head. He was completely fine and uninjured, but this

632
00:30:10,080 --> 00:30:13,720
Speaker 1: happened on her husband's watch. She freaked out and proceeded

633
00:30:13,720 --> 00:30:15,760
Speaker 1: to rate her husband in front of me and my

634
00:30:15,920 --> 00:30:19,200
Speaker 1: husband for the next twenty minutes. We decided to sit

635
00:30:19,280 --> 00:30:22,200
Speaker 1: down and start eating. They ended up leaving a little

636
00:30:22,280 --> 00:30:26,040
Speaker 1: over an hour after they arrived. I felt completely offended

637
00:30:26,080 --> 00:30:27,959
Speaker 1: that they were an hour late. I feel that if

638
00:30:28,000 --> 00:30:30,200
Speaker 1: they didn't have time to come to dinner, they shouldn't

639
00:30:30,200 --> 00:30:33,200
Speaker 1: have accepted the invitation. I also feel annoyed with my

640
00:30:33,280 --> 00:30:35,800
Speaker 1: friend for choosing to react to a simple accident so

641
00:30:36,040 --> 00:30:38,960
Speaker 1: negatively in my personal space. If she needed to take

642
00:30:38,960 --> 00:30:41,160
Speaker 1: a moment to collect herself, she could have gone outside

643
00:30:41,280 --> 00:30:43,480
Speaker 1: or into another room to do so instead of subjecting

644
00:30:43,560 --> 00:30:46,640
Speaker 1: everyone else to negativity like that. When they left, I

645
00:30:46,800 --> 00:30:49,120
Speaker 1: was angry with her. Should I confront her or just

646
00:30:49,280 --> 00:30:53,320
Speaker 1: never invite them over again? Thanks for listening, Rachel. You

647
00:30:53,400 --> 00:30:56,680
Speaker 1: go ahead. Look, this woman should never mix with Italians

648
00:30:56,720 --> 00:30:59,440
Speaker 1: because Italians will be an hourly and they will fight

649
00:30:59,480 --> 00:31:01,520
Speaker 1: in front of you. So make sure she never books

650
00:31:01,560 --> 00:31:03,719
Speaker 1: a ticket to Italy and if she does, to avoid

651
00:31:03,800 --> 00:31:06,720
Speaker 1: Italians at all costs, and Jewish people will also be

652
00:31:06,840 --> 00:31:10,240
Speaker 1: late and argue in front of you. I'm very comfortable.

653
00:31:10,240 --> 00:31:13,280
Speaker 1: I have thirty four first cousins and we're all basically

654
00:31:13,360 --> 00:31:15,840
Speaker 1: the same age. So I grew up with lots of

655
00:31:15,920 --> 00:31:19,040
Speaker 1: yelling and screaming in the house and and food coming late.

656
00:31:19,160 --> 00:31:21,480
Speaker 1: But we also laughed a lot and ate really well.

657
00:31:21,920 --> 00:31:23,440
Speaker 1: I don't like people who are late, though, that is

658
00:31:23,480 --> 00:31:25,239
Speaker 1: a pet peep of mind, so I do back her

659
00:31:25,320 --> 00:31:27,120
Speaker 1: on that, Like if if you say you're gonna be

660
00:31:27,120 --> 00:31:29,680
Speaker 1: at six o'clock, get her at six o'clock, that ship

661
00:31:29,760 --> 00:31:33,600
Speaker 1: pisses me off. Okay, I have the opposite point of view.

662
00:31:33,800 --> 00:31:35,920
Speaker 1: I don't care about the lateness. I care about the

663
00:31:36,000 --> 00:31:38,440
Speaker 1: arguing in front of people. I feel like that's inappropriate.

664
00:31:38,640 --> 00:31:41,200
Speaker 1: But I also feel like the way this letter was framed,

665
00:31:41,240 --> 00:31:45,280
Speaker 1: she's it's too much. It's just too judge, Like who

666
00:31:45,360 --> 00:31:48,200
Speaker 1: gives a ship? First of all, who's having dinner at six? Like? Why?

667
00:31:49,120 --> 00:31:51,280
Speaker 1: And if you're being a hostess, part of being a

668
00:31:51,320 --> 00:31:54,840
Speaker 1: hostess is being gracious to a degree, not to bend

669
00:31:54,920 --> 00:31:58,800
Speaker 1: over backwards. You know what, I mean, but someone being late, fine, whatever,

670
00:31:59,000 --> 00:32:01,479
Speaker 1: they had another situation, they had another event they were

671
00:32:01,520 --> 00:32:04,080
Speaker 1: coming from, and then fighting in front of you I

672
00:32:04,160 --> 00:32:08,600
Speaker 1: think is the worst, more offensive infraction. But also like, yeah,

673
00:32:08,640 --> 00:32:10,880
Speaker 1: don't be friends with them. Sounds like she rubs you

674
00:32:11,000 --> 00:32:13,120
Speaker 1: the wrong way. Like the whole tone of the letter

675
00:32:13,200 --> 00:32:15,760
Speaker 1: means that you're in a state of irritability. Yeah, you

676
00:32:15,880 --> 00:32:19,120
Speaker 1: could confront her, but to what avail? Is it that

677
00:32:19,240 --> 00:32:22,040
Speaker 1: important of a friendship If it's a really important friendship

678
00:32:22,080 --> 00:32:24,480
Speaker 1: to you, Yeah, you could say something. I would focus

679
00:32:24,600 --> 00:32:27,640
Speaker 1: on the fighting, not on the actual tardiness, unless that

680
00:32:27,720 --> 00:32:29,760
Speaker 1: happens again. They have a kid. You have to just

681
00:32:29,800 --> 00:32:32,240
Speaker 1: kind of make accommodations for people sometimes, And I just

682
00:32:32,320 --> 00:32:34,800
Speaker 1: don't like being so anally retentive that I have all

683
00:32:34,880 --> 00:32:37,840
Speaker 1: these rules about how you're supposed to behave as a guest.

684
00:32:39,120 --> 00:32:41,400
Speaker 1: That kind of negates the friendship to begin with. Like

685
00:32:41,480 --> 00:32:43,440
Speaker 1: there's got to be room to move around, you know,

686
00:32:43,600 --> 00:32:46,240
Speaker 1: sometimes your friends are not going to do exactly what

687
00:32:46,440 --> 00:32:50,360
Speaker 1: you want them to do. So yeah, I mean, wise,

688
00:32:50,440 --> 00:32:52,680
Speaker 1: do not make two different lasagnas that is a whole

689
00:32:52,720 --> 00:32:56,080
Speaker 1: day operation. Makes something that takes the fresh ingredients you

690
00:32:56,160 --> 00:32:58,280
Speaker 1: can put together that takes a half hour, so you

691
00:32:58,440 --> 00:33:01,760
Speaker 1: can start cooking when they get there. Who says we're

692
00:33:01,800 --> 00:33:03,680
Speaker 1: gonna eat six and then expect them to get there

693
00:33:03,680 --> 00:33:05,840
Speaker 1: at six and then coming to sit down and start eating. Yeah,

694
00:33:05,840 --> 00:33:07,560
Speaker 1: you walked to the door and sit down at the table.

695
00:33:07,680 --> 00:33:10,080
Speaker 1: I mean that sounds annoying to Also, being a vegan

696
00:33:10,200 --> 00:33:16,600
Speaker 1: is slightly annoying. Like, here's the thing. If they were vegan,

697
00:33:17,320 --> 00:33:19,320
Speaker 1: that would be one thing. But she's vegan. She could

698
00:33:19,360 --> 00:33:21,760
Speaker 1: have just cooked a vegan lasagna for everybody. Why not?

699
00:33:22,240 --> 00:33:24,600
Speaker 1: I don't know. Let's not disgrace lasagna anymore than it

700
00:33:24,720 --> 00:33:28,040
Speaker 1: was probably hard to disgrace in that oven that day. Anyways,

701
00:33:28,640 --> 00:33:31,440
Speaker 1: either make a lasagna or you don't stop it. Once

702
00:33:31,520 --> 00:33:34,120
Speaker 1: she heard about LASAGNI he's like, yeah, I don't believe

703
00:33:34,160 --> 00:33:37,000
Speaker 1: this for one second. I know she used cottage cheese.

704
00:33:37,080 --> 00:33:38,960
Speaker 1: I know she didn't make maschamel. I know the red

705
00:33:39,000 --> 00:33:41,240
Speaker 1: sauces from mccan. I know that she didn't. I don't

706
00:33:41,280 --> 00:33:44,200
Speaker 1: want to hear about it. My mother is men and

707
00:33:44,280 --> 00:33:47,320
Speaker 1: I and I'm from Illinois as well, and my husband

708
00:33:47,400 --> 00:33:48,880
Speaker 1: is half Italian. His mom is north side of the

709
00:33:48,960 --> 00:33:53,320
Speaker 1: Chicago Italian and that is one of the greatest arguments

710
00:33:53,360 --> 00:33:57,320
Speaker 1: of my marriage is cottage cheese versus ricotta cottage. Who

711
00:33:57,440 --> 00:33:59,280
Speaker 1: are what side are you on? She probably is on

712
00:33:59,320 --> 00:34:01,880
Speaker 1: the cottage. She's I'll tell you why, mateo, Because this

713
00:34:02,000 --> 00:34:04,320
Speaker 1: fucking bitch takes hard boiled eggs in a big zip

714
00:34:04,360 --> 00:34:07,680
Speaker 1: brock bag on a plane. How are you doing the

715
00:34:07,800 --> 00:34:09,680
Speaker 1: rest of the flight. No one wants to smell your

716
00:34:09,840 --> 00:34:14,719
Speaker 1: hard world on like four different airlines having I know,

717
00:34:15,080 --> 00:34:17,120
Speaker 1: I know, she said to me. She came to ma

718
00:34:17,280 --> 00:34:19,960
Speaker 1: Orca this summer. She and she revealed this like I

719
00:34:20,120 --> 00:34:22,600
Speaker 1: was going to have a reaction. I said, excuse me,

720
00:34:23,160 --> 00:34:24,919
Speaker 1: what do you We just had gone off about bare

721
00:34:25,000 --> 00:34:28,200
Speaker 1: feet on planes and her vial that is, and then

722
00:34:28,280 --> 00:34:31,160
Speaker 1: she reveals this and then sends me a photo to

723
00:34:31,440 --> 00:34:34,960
Speaker 1: you know, trigger me further of her holding a snip

724
00:34:35,040 --> 00:34:38,000
Speaker 1: blocked bag with twelve hard boils. I said, hey, what

725
00:34:38,080 --> 00:34:39,799
Speaker 1: are you doing? She goes, it's protein. I go, there's

726
00:34:39,840 --> 00:34:42,759
Speaker 1: protein bars all throughout the airport. You can get your

727
00:34:42,760 --> 00:34:46,080
Speaker 1: protein in a variety of different ways. Literally, you deserve

728
00:34:46,160 --> 00:34:48,640
Speaker 1: to get protein powder thrown in your face. And that's

729
00:34:48,680 --> 00:34:52,879
Speaker 1: her protein for the meal. The weirdest thing is all

730
00:34:52,960 --> 00:34:55,560
Speaker 1: of my friends, like I, you know, posted the picture,

731
00:34:55,760 --> 00:34:58,560
Speaker 1: and so many of my friends were like, oh, that

732
00:34:58,719 --> 00:35:01,360
Speaker 1: time you had hard boiled eggs just like saved my life.

733
00:35:01,719 --> 00:35:03,440
Speaker 1: So many of my friends have memories of me with

734
00:35:03,640 --> 00:35:06,560
Speaker 1: art boiled eggs. Now you're just remembering those, You're you're

735
00:35:06,760 --> 00:35:10,600
Speaker 1: choosing to specifically remember the positive outcomes of hard boiled

736
00:35:10,640 --> 00:35:15,640
Speaker 1: eggs instead of all of the negative domino effect instances

737
00:35:15,800 --> 00:35:18,439
Speaker 1: that you And that's the hell that you've put people through.

738
00:35:19,160 --> 00:35:21,960
Speaker 1: You know, it's selective memory. The fact that the T

739
00:35:22,200 --> 00:35:24,080
Speaker 1: s A Agents had to look on their scanner and

740
00:35:24,120 --> 00:35:27,640
Speaker 1: see twelve hard boiled eggs go through. I won't even

741
00:35:27,719 --> 00:35:30,440
Speaker 1: eat a hard boiled egg, like in a small space,

742
00:35:30,719 --> 00:35:33,160
Speaker 1: Like you have to get rid of the egg before

743
00:35:33,200 --> 00:35:34,920
Speaker 1: you interact with a person. And also you need like

744
00:35:35,000 --> 00:35:37,000
Speaker 1: a five minute window afterward, you know what I mean?

745
00:35:37,120 --> 00:35:39,319
Speaker 1: Where do you put the shell? Probably takes the shells

746
00:35:39,360 --> 00:35:43,839
Speaker 1: off before so that it all smells. Yeah, yeah, she does,

747
00:35:44,000 --> 00:35:46,400
Speaker 1: listen and she does. She she's not taking the shells

748
00:35:46,440 --> 00:35:49,719
Speaker 1: al they're peeled. It's quick, and then the bank gets

749
00:35:49,800 --> 00:35:52,880
Speaker 1: filled again. But again, apologies. You know what. That reminds

750
00:35:52,920 --> 00:35:55,759
Speaker 1: me of this scene an airplane where Leslie Nielsen is

751
00:35:55,840 --> 00:35:59,080
Speaker 1: it who keeps having a hard boiled eggs and it

752
00:35:59,239 --> 00:36:03,640
Speaker 1: keeps hatching eggs. And even when he was doing that scene,

753
00:36:03,680 --> 00:36:06,080
Speaker 1: I'm like, this is so disgusting. And those were shelled

754
00:36:09,440 --> 00:36:11,879
Speaker 1: because the cast and crew didn't want to smell hard

755
00:36:11,920 --> 00:36:15,640
Speaker 1: boiled eggs all day. Well, I guess because humans lay

756
00:36:15,680 --> 00:36:20,600
Speaker 1: shelled eggs. Also white cottage cheese. It's not it has

757
00:36:20,640 --> 00:36:23,719
Speaker 1: no taste because it's too wet, and it's just it's

758
00:36:25,320 --> 00:36:30,239
Speaker 1: it's a disgrace. That's how my my mom's mom made it.

759
00:36:30,360 --> 00:36:35,759
Speaker 1: So that's how your mom's mom is wrong. There's yeah,

760
00:36:35,880 --> 00:36:37,480
Speaker 1: you have no I mean men toite. What does that

761
00:36:37,560 --> 00:36:40,480
Speaker 1: have to do with being Italian? Well, we're not Italian,

762
00:36:40,520 --> 00:36:43,200
Speaker 1: That's what I'm saying. Like, that's why you're cottage cheese though,

763
00:36:43,400 --> 00:36:45,600
Speaker 1: I mean you said we're Mennite, Like that's a backup

764
00:36:45,680 --> 00:36:48,920
Speaker 1: for the cottage cheese. None of this makes sense. Are

765
00:36:51,000 --> 00:36:57,960
Speaker 1: in the cottage cheese, eggs whatever you normally put into well, okay,

766
00:36:58,080 --> 00:37:06,680
Speaker 1: off from memory eggs, A ragonel lasagna. I fucking hate,

767
00:37:06,680 --> 00:37:09,440
Speaker 1: a regano I hate and you know what else I

768
00:37:09,480 --> 00:37:11,160
Speaker 1: don't like. While we're on the topic of things that

769
00:37:11,200 --> 00:37:14,479
Speaker 1: annoyed me, Rosemary, I don't like you know, I hate

770
00:37:14,480 --> 00:37:18,640
Speaker 1: when Oh yeah, a lot of people don't like rosemary

771
00:37:18,719 --> 00:37:21,759
Speaker 1: when it's on chicken or potatoes. That pisces me off

772
00:37:21,800 --> 00:37:24,759
Speaker 1: because I love potatoes. But when there's a rosemary, it's

773
00:37:24,800 --> 00:37:26,880
Speaker 1: like this. I used to work at this restaurant Roasty

774
00:37:26,920 --> 00:37:29,640
Speaker 1: in Santa Monica, and they had rosemary chicken and potatoes,

775
00:37:29,680 --> 00:37:31,560
Speaker 1: and I would always be like, who thought up this

776
00:37:31,760 --> 00:37:34,799
Speaker 1: dumb recipe? And there was the biggest hit on the menu.

777
00:37:34,920 --> 00:37:39,240
Speaker 1: People fucking loved it, and I was just like, rosemary

778
00:37:39,280 --> 00:37:41,520
Speaker 1: reminds me of Christmas. I guess it's that pine needle

779
00:37:41,719 --> 00:37:43,880
Speaker 1: kind of like it does look like you cut up

780
00:37:43,880 --> 00:37:46,120
Speaker 1: a Christmas tree and roasted it on some potatoes, and

781
00:37:46,239 --> 00:37:48,759
Speaker 1: smells a little bit like pine needles too. I do

782
00:37:48,960 --> 00:37:53,799
Speaker 1: like Greek potatoes all cooked and lemon and chicken fat. Yeah, well,

783
00:37:53,840 --> 00:37:55,799
Speaker 1: of course, what's what's What do you have to say

784
00:37:55,840 --> 00:37:58,080
Speaker 1: about that chicken fat is where it's at? What else

785
00:37:58,120 --> 00:37:59,719
Speaker 1: do you put in it? I'm sorry we were so

786
00:38:00,000 --> 00:38:03,799
Speaker 1: would be interrupted because no one respects you anymore if

787
00:38:03,880 --> 00:38:07,200
Speaker 1: I can interrupt. I want to also say that, as

788
00:38:07,239 --> 00:38:11,239
Speaker 1: I've known Catherine and her family, they have some questionable

789
00:38:11,600 --> 00:38:16,759
Speaker 1: variations on traditional food like Italian food. Obviously, why would

790
00:38:16,760 --> 00:38:20,080
Speaker 1: you put cottage cheese and alazon ya. That's ridiculous, it's

791
00:38:20,120 --> 00:38:22,840
Speaker 1: just flavored. Asked her about the nachos, though, what are

792
00:38:22,880 --> 00:38:27,120
Speaker 1: amish nachos? Catherine, Let's just attack all my ethnic backgrounds.

793
00:38:27,160 --> 00:38:30,080
Speaker 1: So go on, We've we've destroyed the Italian side. Let's

794
00:38:30,120 --> 00:38:32,200
Speaker 1: move on to the Mexican side. What have you done

795
00:38:32,239 --> 00:38:35,920
Speaker 1: to them? And just know that obviously it includes cottage cheese.

796
00:38:36,000 --> 00:38:41,760
Speaker 1: So again, if my parents don't have like four tubs

797
00:38:41,880 --> 00:38:44,960
Speaker 1: of cottage cheese in the fridge at every moment, it's

798
00:38:45,000 --> 00:38:47,920
Speaker 1: like not enough. So we lovingly call these amish nachos.

799
00:38:48,280 --> 00:38:50,800
Speaker 1: But in our family, we love to eat potato chips

800
00:38:51,320 --> 00:38:56,960
Speaker 1: with cottage cheese. That's That's how as a vehicle, I'm

801
00:38:57,000 --> 00:39:01,040
Speaker 1: getting nauseous. Honestly, this is so nauseating. Was it's delicious.

802
00:39:01,360 --> 00:39:04,560
Speaker 1: I had a boyfriend once. I'm just gonna switch topics quickly.

803
00:39:05,320 --> 00:39:10,120
Speaker 1: My boyfriend used to eat potato chips dip them in salsa,

804
00:39:10,960 --> 00:39:13,200
Speaker 1: and that was in the front. I don't understand that.

805
00:39:13,400 --> 00:39:15,319
Speaker 1: I was like, whoa, whoa, what are you doing here?

806
00:39:15,560 --> 00:39:17,759
Speaker 1: It's either ranch or straight up you know what I mean?

807
00:39:17,880 --> 00:39:19,920
Speaker 1: You don't get to dip your potato chips and salsa,

808
00:39:20,320 --> 00:39:23,480
Speaker 1: but then he would put so much salsa on the

809
00:39:23,560 --> 00:39:27,279
Speaker 1: potato chip that that alone broke us up. I was

810
00:39:27,360 --> 00:39:30,680
Speaker 1: so disgusted after months and months of being exposed to

811
00:39:30,760 --> 00:39:33,080
Speaker 1: this behavior. I think we dated for years, but at

812
00:39:33,120 --> 00:39:34,480
Speaker 1: the end of it, I was like they were like,

813
00:39:34,600 --> 00:39:36,759
Speaker 1: what was the final straw, and like the potato chips

814
00:39:36,800 --> 00:39:39,080
Speaker 1: in the salsa, I was like, that's where I couldn't

815
00:39:39,120 --> 00:39:41,840
Speaker 1: take it anymore. It was so gross to see a

816
00:39:42,040 --> 00:39:47,560
Speaker 1: potato chip dunked holy in salsa, like the ratio didn't

817
00:39:47,560 --> 00:39:49,920
Speaker 1: add up and they get soggy. I broke up with

818
00:39:50,000 --> 00:39:53,640
Speaker 1: a guy in college. He was beautiful, bright green eyes,

819
00:39:53,719 --> 00:39:57,080
Speaker 1: like stunning, and I watched to make cold spaghetti, heat

820
00:39:57,120 --> 00:39:59,120
Speaker 1: it up and put sour cream all over it, and

821
00:39:59,280 --> 00:40:01,560
Speaker 1: oh no, literally called my cousin Megan. I said, I

822
00:40:01,880 --> 00:40:04,920
Speaker 1: can't do it. No, no, no, no, no, that's disgusting.

823
00:40:05,000 --> 00:40:07,360
Speaker 1: Even now, I even though I can't cook, but I

824
00:40:07,520 --> 00:40:09,200
Speaker 1: know I can't cook. And even when I try and

825
00:40:09,280 --> 00:40:12,320
Speaker 1: make something basic, I know like there are rules not

826
00:40:12,480 --> 00:40:15,680
Speaker 1: to break in terms of what like even my scrambled

827
00:40:15,680 --> 00:40:17,400
Speaker 1: eggs is basically what I make, you know, on the

828
00:40:17,560 --> 00:40:19,880
Speaker 1: on the regular, and I know not to funk around

829
00:40:19,920 --> 00:40:21,759
Speaker 1: with that in a gross way, like not to put

830
00:40:21,840 --> 00:40:24,640
Speaker 1: too many things in, Like you can't put zucchini's and

831
00:40:24,719 --> 00:40:27,840
Speaker 1: scrambled eggs. If you want vegetables, you can't put broccoli

832
00:40:27,960 --> 00:40:30,279
Speaker 1: and scrambled eggs, and all of that is gross. You

833
00:40:30,320 --> 00:40:32,200
Speaker 1: could put onions, you could put cheese, you could put

834
00:40:32,239 --> 00:40:34,440
Speaker 1: tomatoes and spinach, and that's it, and then you have

835
00:40:34,520 --> 00:40:37,120
Speaker 1: to draw the line, put them in the bag and

836
00:40:37,160 --> 00:40:51,040
Speaker 1: bring them to the airport. Okay, who's our next color? Well,

837
00:40:51,120 --> 00:40:56,680
Speaker 1: our next color is Marco. Marco, says dear Chelsea end Gang.

838
00:40:57,320 --> 00:40:59,239
Speaker 1: I wanted to get your advice on a topic I

839
00:40:59,360 --> 00:41:02,080
Speaker 1: know is near and dear to your hearts, sex or

840
00:41:02,200 --> 00:41:04,960
Speaker 1: lack thereof. As a thirty year old gay man, I

841
00:41:05,040 --> 00:41:08,160
Speaker 1: have finally come to the conclusion that I don't like sex.

842
00:41:08,840 --> 00:41:11,000
Speaker 1: The thought of topping is a turn off for me,

843
00:41:11,200 --> 00:41:13,880
Speaker 1: and quite frankly, I really don't like the idea of

844
00:41:13,960 --> 00:41:17,680
Speaker 1: getting it from behind either. Ouch. Don't get me wrong,

845
00:41:18,000 --> 00:41:20,719
Speaker 1: I have sex occasionally to meet a partner's needs, but

846
00:41:20,880 --> 00:41:23,359
Speaker 1: so far it's not been enough to sustain any sort

847
00:41:23,400 --> 00:41:26,640
Speaker 1: of lasting relationship. Two months is the longest I've ever

848
00:41:26,760 --> 00:41:30,319
Speaker 1: dated a guy. This has made dating in the very

849
00:41:30,440 --> 00:41:33,920
Speaker 1: daunting gay world a challenge. In the past, dates or

850
00:41:34,040 --> 00:41:36,920
Speaker 1: short flings with guys always go well, but tend to

851
00:41:37,000 --> 00:41:41,600
Speaker 1: go downhill once we hit the bedroom. I'm shocked that

852
00:41:41,719 --> 00:41:43,759
Speaker 1: two months, I mean two months is like eight years

853
00:41:43,800 --> 00:41:46,000
Speaker 1: for gays. Right, We've talked about that's good for him,

854
00:41:46,280 --> 00:41:49,040
Speaker 1: it's a long time and gay. I get uncomfortable once

855
00:41:49,080 --> 00:41:51,440
Speaker 1: we start having sex because I'm scared I won't be

856
00:41:51,520 --> 00:41:53,680
Speaker 1: good at it, or because I just might not be

857
00:41:53,760 --> 00:41:56,480
Speaker 1: able to do it. Most recently, I really hit it

858
00:41:56,560 --> 00:41:58,759
Speaker 1: off with a guy. We hung out almost every day

859
00:41:58,840 --> 00:42:01,120
Speaker 1: for a few weeks straight, and he seemed to like

860
00:42:01,280 --> 00:42:04,279
Speaker 1: me just as much as I liked him. However, after

861
00:42:04,360 --> 00:42:07,680
Speaker 1: a few unsuccessful attempts in the bedroom, he lost interest,

862
00:42:07,800 --> 00:42:09,919
Speaker 1: and eventually he told me he didn't think he could

863
00:42:09,960 --> 00:42:12,560
Speaker 1: foresee a future with me. He didn't tell me why,

864
00:42:12,800 --> 00:42:15,799
Speaker 1: but I can take a hint. Typically, when dating, I'm

865
00:42:15,840 --> 00:42:18,600
Speaker 1: not very upfront with my dates about being uncomfortable with sex.

866
00:42:18,880 --> 00:42:20,760
Speaker 1: In a world where sex is put at the forefront

867
00:42:20,800 --> 00:42:24,080
Speaker 1: of all relationships, I'm very embarrassed about my lack of ability.

868
00:42:24,440 --> 00:42:31,359
Speaker 1: Please help yours in Christ, Just kidding Marco could save Marco. Okay, Marco,

869
00:42:31,480 --> 00:42:36,440
Speaker 1: how will you're thirty? Correct? Okay? And what so what

870
00:42:36,560 --> 00:42:40,000
Speaker 1: about blow jobs? Yeah, I'll wrote that. It's definitely different.

871
00:42:40,239 --> 00:42:42,800
Speaker 1: I think with youn know, like it's doubly more like

872
00:42:42,960 --> 00:42:46,440
Speaker 1: uncomfortable with it? Where's blow jobs? Not so much? Okay?

873
00:42:46,480 --> 00:42:50,720
Speaker 1: But maybe your state of discomfort for it is because

874
00:42:50,800 --> 00:42:53,759
Speaker 1: you haven't done it the proper way or experienced it

875
00:42:53,880 --> 00:42:57,399
Speaker 1: the proper way because you're attracted to men, right, that's correct, yes,

876
00:42:57,640 --> 00:43:01,840
Speaker 1: and you don't like penetrating men. I'd prefer not to

877
00:43:02,040 --> 00:43:04,800
Speaker 1: know because why just you can be graphic if you

878
00:43:04,880 --> 00:43:08,359
Speaker 1: need to be as fun honestly, like I just don't

879
00:43:08,680 --> 00:43:11,560
Speaker 1: want to put my dick like where ship comes out,

880
00:43:11,600 --> 00:43:15,680
Speaker 1: you know, Like maybe that's what the Republicans say. Are

881
00:43:15,719 --> 00:43:22,520
Speaker 1: you a Republican? I'm not a Republican. I can understand that,

882
00:43:22,680 --> 00:43:25,239
Speaker 1: but well, I guess mente you should probably feel this line.

883
00:43:25,360 --> 00:43:27,239
Speaker 1: Question Do you have anxiety? Like do you deal with

884
00:43:27,320 --> 00:43:32,680
Speaker 1: anxiety generally speaking? Like, so you are full of anxiety? Right? Yeah,

885
00:43:32,880 --> 00:43:35,440
Speaker 1: definitely like an anxious person I've always been. Yeah. Okay,

886
00:43:35,640 --> 00:43:39,480
Speaker 1: So so is it the actual act that that repels

887
00:43:39,520 --> 00:43:42,120
Speaker 1: you or is it the anxiety of having to please

888
00:43:42,239 --> 00:43:44,840
Speaker 1: somebody else or be involved sexual with somebody else that

889
00:43:45,040 --> 00:43:47,160
Speaker 1: gives you so much anxiety you feel you can't perform.

890
00:43:48,440 --> 00:43:51,759
Speaker 1: I honestly, I feel like it's definitely a mix of both.

891
00:43:51,880 --> 00:43:54,680
Speaker 1: The cleanliness, like I said, aspect to it, well, the cleanliness,

892
00:43:54,719 --> 00:43:57,200
Speaker 1: it's like, just make sure that either you do or

893
00:43:57,239 --> 00:44:00,160
Speaker 1: someone else, which I hire a firehouse to come clean

894
00:44:00,239 --> 00:44:02,759
Speaker 1: up my asshole before I have sex. I mean, it's like,

895
00:44:02,880 --> 00:44:04,520
Speaker 1: you know those things that used to clean the sidewalk

896
00:44:04,560 --> 00:44:06,680
Speaker 1: in the morning in New York, they're my best friends.

897
00:44:06,760 --> 00:44:09,120
Speaker 1: But it's true. I've been to his place when he's

898
00:44:09,160 --> 00:44:14,479
Speaker 1: had an entire fire brigade there, including the Dalmatian. Yeah,

899
00:44:16,040 --> 00:44:18,680
Speaker 1: I think maybe are you expressing this to your partner

900
00:44:18,760 --> 00:44:20,480
Speaker 1: like partners you've been with, Like, look, I just want

901
00:44:20,480 --> 00:44:22,480
Speaker 1: to you know that I have a lot of anxiety

902
00:44:22,520 --> 00:44:24,880
Speaker 1: when it comes to anal and if we are going

903
00:44:24,960 --> 00:44:26,440
Speaker 1: to go there, I want to make sure that you

904
00:44:26,560 --> 00:44:28,200
Speaker 1: know that this is something that I'm having a hard

905
00:44:28,280 --> 00:44:31,640
Speaker 1: time with and then maybe just right off the bat,

906
00:44:31,719 --> 00:44:34,080
Speaker 1: being open about it will take some of the pressure away.

907
00:44:34,440 --> 00:44:36,520
Speaker 1: And that's probably part of the problem is that I'm

908
00:44:36,600 --> 00:44:39,200
Speaker 1: not open about it. I always like you're open to

909
00:44:39,760 --> 00:44:43,480
Speaker 1: a podcast where millions of people listen, but not partner

910
00:44:43,880 --> 00:44:47,400
Speaker 1: every Well, this is the first step. Yeah, yeah, this

911
00:44:47,560 --> 00:44:49,400
Speaker 1: is the first step. I think it's important. But I

912
00:44:49,440 --> 00:44:51,560
Speaker 1: think you know, when you're saying that your anxiety written

913
00:44:51,640 --> 00:44:54,600
Speaker 1: and that's a base of your personality, probably then that

914
00:44:54,840 --> 00:44:58,040
Speaker 1: is having a huge impact on your sexuality. Right. So

915
00:44:58,400 --> 00:45:00,640
Speaker 1: the thing that like what RelA X as you? What

916
00:45:00,719 --> 00:45:02,360
Speaker 1: do you do? What do you use as tools to

917
00:45:02,400 --> 00:45:04,520
Speaker 1: relax you? Not I'm not talking about sex in this moment,

918
00:45:04,560 --> 00:45:07,280
Speaker 1: but like in general, do you take anti anxiety medication?

919
00:45:07,680 --> 00:45:11,080
Speaker 1: Does smoking weed relax you? What do you do all

920
00:45:11,160 --> 00:45:13,400
Speaker 1: the above? I mean I actually I just started taking

921
00:45:13,520 --> 00:45:18,160
Speaker 1: some anti depressants anti anxiety medicine, and then marijuana also

922
00:45:18,280 --> 00:45:21,799
Speaker 1: helps alcohol exercise. I'm big on that. That always makes

923
00:45:21,840 --> 00:45:25,000
Speaker 1: me feel so much better. I think first and foremost

924
00:45:25,080 --> 00:45:27,799
Speaker 1: having more open conversations with people about it. I think

925
00:45:27,840 --> 00:45:29,880
Speaker 1: you're going to find you're that you're not alone. I

926
00:45:29,960 --> 00:45:32,840
Speaker 1: think other people probably feel that way, don't you think so, Mateo.

927
00:45:33,000 --> 00:45:35,320
Speaker 1: Like in the gay world, there's a whole spectrum of

928
00:45:35,719 --> 00:45:38,080
Speaker 1: ways that people are interested in having sex. Like some

929
00:45:38,160 --> 00:45:40,799
Speaker 1: people are highly sexualized, some people aren't. And I don't

930
00:45:40,840 --> 00:45:43,400
Speaker 1: think that you're not sexual. It sounds like you like

931
00:45:43,640 --> 00:45:47,520
Speaker 1: all of that. Yeah, yeah, I mean, so I think

932
00:45:47,600 --> 00:45:49,960
Speaker 1: you want to work towards having a more healthy kind

933
00:45:50,000 --> 00:45:54,719
Speaker 1: of sexual more sexual knowledge about yourself, worrying about what

934
00:45:54,840 --> 00:45:58,440
Speaker 1: since your asshole, Like everyone's thinking about that, but everyone's

935
00:45:58,440 --> 00:46:00,759
Speaker 1: still having anal sex, you know what I mean. I

936
00:46:00,800 --> 00:46:02,680
Speaker 1: don't want anyone to have sex with me in the

937
00:46:02,760 --> 00:46:05,000
Speaker 1: butt and then puld their penis out and be covered

938
00:46:05,000 --> 00:46:07,480
Speaker 1: in anything. Yeah, that's a fear of mind, but that's

939
00:46:07,480 --> 00:46:09,360
Speaker 1: not a reality, and there's a way to avoid that

940
00:46:09,520 --> 00:46:13,239
Speaker 1: from happening. Right. That's not something that necessarily happens, and

941
00:46:13,360 --> 00:46:16,000
Speaker 1: it's something that you can definitely make not happen, you

942
00:46:16,040 --> 00:46:17,880
Speaker 1: know what I mean, if you're taking care of the situation,

943
00:46:17,920 --> 00:46:19,719
Speaker 1: if that person is. But I think if you're more

944
00:46:19,840 --> 00:46:22,000
Speaker 1: vocal about it, like, oh god, you know, I mean,

945
00:46:22,040 --> 00:46:23,840
Speaker 1: this guy that just broke up with you or stopped

946
00:46:23,840 --> 00:46:26,640
Speaker 1: talking to you or whatever, clearly stopped because you guys,

947
00:46:27,000 --> 00:46:29,520
Speaker 1: it wasn't going anywhere sexually. I mean, that's obvious. And

948
00:46:29,600 --> 00:46:32,120
Speaker 1: so in order to prevent that from happening in the future,

949
00:46:32,160 --> 00:46:33,440
Speaker 1: I think you need to be a little bit more

950
00:46:33,520 --> 00:46:37,160
Speaker 1: open minded with people and with yourself, you know, because

951
00:46:37,200 --> 00:46:40,920
Speaker 1: you're not the only person that's felt this way. Okay, yeah,

952
00:46:40,960 --> 00:46:44,000
Speaker 1: I second that. I think there's relationships where gay men

953
00:46:44,120 --> 00:46:46,960
Speaker 1: don't have anal with each other. That's fine. I mean

954
00:46:47,000 --> 00:46:50,640
Speaker 1: that also just if you decide, hey, I don't like anal, great,

955
00:46:50,680 --> 00:46:53,680
Speaker 1: find another partner who doesn't either. But I'm also saying

956
00:46:53,719 --> 00:46:56,399
Speaker 1: that I think you might like it if you were

957
00:46:56,520 --> 00:47:00,440
Speaker 1: able to prevent your fears from coming true. I think

958
00:47:00,520 --> 00:47:02,800
Speaker 1: that you have this idea that anal sex equates to

959
00:47:02,920 --> 00:47:06,040
Speaker 1: one thing. You know, let's not have to repeat that

960
00:47:06,160 --> 00:47:10,759
Speaker 1: over and over because some people are eating breakfast. But

961
00:47:15,440 --> 00:47:17,239
Speaker 1: I don't want you know, I don't want you to

962
00:47:17,320 --> 00:47:19,200
Speaker 1: think that you don't like sex. I don't believe that's

963
00:47:19,239 --> 00:47:21,120
Speaker 1: true right now, Like, I don't think you've put it in.

964
00:47:21,320 --> 00:47:24,960
Speaker 1: How many times have you had anal sex Let's start there. Honestly,

965
00:47:25,200 --> 00:47:29,960
Speaker 1: probably only like on two hands, ten or less, okay, right,

966
00:47:30,200 --> 00:47:32,239
Speaker 1: and it's been done to you or you've done it

967
00:47:32,360 --> 00:47:36,279
Speaker 1: to someone else. I've never been the receiving end on it.

968
00:47:36,600 --> 00:47:40,239
Speaker 1: Movies topped. Okay, well, maybe you should also try that.

969
00:47:41,840 --> 00:47:48,640
Speaker 1: I think, yeah, you might like it up well, you know,

970
00:47:48,760 --> 00:47:51,960
Speaker 1: with enough fabrication, it can be a very enjoyable experience

971
00:47:52,400 --> 00:47:54,440
Speaker 1: and like, like, I want to like it, I really do.

972
00:47:54,719 --> 00:48:00,920
Speaker 1: I just then try harder. If you want to like it,

973
00:48:01,560 --> 00:48:03,560
Speaker 1: and you're attracted to men and you want to have

974
00:48:03,640 --> 00:48:07,239
Speaker 1: a relationship, whether sexual or more you know, serious, like

975
00:48:07,480 --> 00:48:10,640
Speaker 1: more than sexual and having a serious, like intimate relationship

976
00:48:10,719 --> 00:48:12,799
Speaker 1: with someone, I think you need to have a little

977
00:48:12,840 --> 00:48:15,520
Speaker 1: bit more experience, right And I don't think you should

978
00:48:15,520 --> 00:48:17,080
Speaker 1: just go out and have sex with a bunch of strangers,

979
00:48:17,120 --> 00:48:18,440
Speaker 1: but I think you should find people that are a

980
00:48:18,480 --> 00:48:20,719
Speaker 1: little bit more like minded, or somebody who has more

981
00:48:20,760 --> 00:48:22,480
Speaker 1: experience than you is going to be patient with you

982
00:48:22,560 --> 00:48:24,799
Speaker 1: as a teacher and say, oh, okay, this is how

983
00:48:24,920 --> 00:48:27,320
Speaker 1: we can prevent any of those things from happening. This

984
00:48:27,480 --> 00:48:29,719
Speaker 1: is how I get myself prepared for anal sex, and

985
00:48:29,800 --> 00:48:32,080
Speaker 1: this is and you can try it with different partners

986
00:48:32,360 --> 00:48:35,080
Speaker 1: to find your comfort level, because it's there somewhere. And

987
00:48:35,160 --> 00:48:37,759
Speaker 1: I think this is more anxiety written than anything else.

988
00:48:37,960 --> 00:48:42,640
Speaker 1: Just by talking to you and you know, looking at

989
00:48:42,719 --> 00:48:47,960
Speaker 1: you for sure, Yeah, no, absolutely, I know you're you're

990
00:48:47,960 --> 00:48:51,200
Speaker 1: probably spot on there, So can you do that? Can

991
00:48:51,280 --> 00:48:54,399
Speaker 1: you have more honest conversations like don't listen if someone says,

992
00:48:54,520 --> 00:48:56,480
Speaker 1: fuck it. You don't you're not comfortable having anal sex,

993
00:48:56,520 --> 00:48:58,520
Speaker 1: you don't haven't had that many good experiences with it,

994
00:48:58,800 --> 00:49:00,440
Speaker 1: then that's not the right person. But I bet you

995
00:49:00,520 --> 00:49:02,440
Speaker 1: you'll find somebody that's gonna be like, oh, okay, I

996
00:49:02,560 --> 00:49:04,759
Speaker 1: get it. I also used to feel that way, or

997
00:49:04,840 --> 00:49:07,680
Speaker 1: I also used to be intimidated or scared or thought

998
00:49:07,719 --> 00:49:09,560
Speaker 1: I didn't want to, you know, be a bottom or

999
00:49:09,640 --> 00:49:12,040
Speaker 1: a top or whatever it is. It doesn't matter. But

1000
00:49:12,120 --> 00:49:13,799
Speaker 1: I just think you need to have a little bit

1001
00:49:13,880 --> 00:49:17,120
Speaker 1: more experience and kind of put less pressure on yourself

1002
00:49:17,360 --> 00:49:21,520
Speaker 1: and experiments. That's what sexuality is, finding different things that

1003
00:49:21,600 --> 00:49:24,439
Speaker 1: you like with different people and being open to different things.

1004
00:49:24,880 --> 00:49:26,640
Speaker 1: There's so many things that I thought when I was

1005
00:49:26,640 --> 00:49:28,719
Speaker 1: growing up in high school that I was so judging about.

1006
00:49:28,920 --> 00:49:30,960
Speaker 1: I would never do that, or I would never give

1007
00:49:31,040 --> 00:49:34,040
Speaker 1: up low job. I'm not bullshit all these things that

1008
00:49:34,120 --> 00:49:37,480
Speaker 1: are so silly. You start to become sexually aware, like

1009
00:49:37,560 --> 00:49:41,640
Speaker 1: have more sexual exposure, and it empowers yeah, and then

1010
00:49:41,719 --> 00:49:43,800
Speaker 1: you're and then you find out the things that you like.

1011
00:49:43,960 --> 00:49:45,799
Speaker 1: Some of the things I thought I hated I really

1012
00:49:45,880 --> 00:49:49,080
Speaker 1: do like now. Yeah, And I think a lot of

1013
00:49:49,120 --> 00:49:52,680
Speaker 1: the focus is on what you're unable to do or

1014
00:49:52,760 --> 00:49:55,600
Speaker 1: you're not enjoying, And I think if you can give

1015
00:49:55,640 --> 00:49:57,440
Speaker 1: a spin on that and be like, you know what,

1016
00:49:57,760 --> 00:50:00,279
Speaker 1: here's what turns me on. Here is what I'm into

1017
00:50:00,800 --> 00:50:02,760
Speaker 1: you can drop into you're not into some other stuff.

1018
00:50:02,760 --> 00:50:04,680
Speaker 1: But also like maybe with a new partner, you just

1019
00:50:04,719 --> 00:50:07,000
Speaker 1: focus on, like, here's what really turns me on. It's

1020
00:50:07,000 --> 00:50:09,719
Speaker 1: blow jobs, it's whatever else. Huddling can be a part

1021
00:50:09,800 --> 00:50:11,520
Speaker 1: of you know what I mean, There's so much else

1022
00:50:11,600 --> 00:50:14,520
Speaker 1: that you can do other than just like penetration. Okay,

1023
00:50:15,080 --> 00:50:17,839
Speaker 1: so like re reframing, give it a spin, like, think

1024
00:50:17,840 --> 00:50:19,920
Speaker 1: about what you're into, and I think it really good

1025
00:50:19,960 --> 00:50:22,759
Speaker 1: at those things. So do you go out a lot?

1026
00:50:23,440 --> 00:50:25,880
Speaker 1: So I'm like, I'm not too big into like the

1027
00:50:25,920 --> 00:50:28,319
Speaker 1: gay scene or nothing, but yeah, occasionally I will go out.

1028
00:50:28,440 --> 00:50:31,759
Speaker 1: Yet but you're out as a gay man, right, Yes,

1029
00:50:31,880 --> 00:50:35,560
Speaker 1: it's correct? Okay? And do you did you date on apps?

1030
00:50:35,640 --> 00:50:39,240
Speaker 1: And do you do that stuff? Yeah? I mostly on apps?

1031
00:50:39,280 --> 00:50:44,120
Speaker 1: I'd say not grinder Okay, I mean there's nothing like

1032
00:50:44,560 --> 00:50:47,160
Speaker 1: and maybe I should if that's what well, because grindles

1033
00:50:47,200 --> 00:50:50,480
Speaker 1: you can be explicit. Hello homosexual who's not sure he

1034
00:50:50,600 --> 00:50:54,040
Speaker 1: likes anal dot dot dot anyone question mark and you

1035
00:50:54,120 --> 00:50:57,960
Speaker 1: can start surveying from there. So it's it's good. But

1036
00:50:58,560 --> 00:51:01,879
Speaker 1: cinder bumble, How does it work on bumble? Because usually

1037
00:51:01,920 --> 00:51:04,000
Speaker 1: with straight people it's the girl who writes first. So

1038
00:51:04,280 --> 00:51:09,520
Speaker 1: in this case, is it like the bottom bottoms on? Now?

1039
00:51:09,640 --> 00:51:12,520
Speaker 1: I think either way it works. Yeah, So many guys

1040
00:51:12,520 --> 00:51:13,880
Speaker 1: are gonna get mad at me. They're gonna say I'm

1041
00:51:13,880 --> 00:51:17,040
Speaker 1: bottom shaming and I'm a huge bottom, so I'm a bottom.

1042
00:51:17,120 --> 00:51:19,240
Speaker 1: I'm a bottom too. I don't like him do anything.

1043
00:51:19,320 --> 00:51:21,880
Speaker 1: They're excited. I just like to there, what do you

1044
00:51:21,960 --> 00:51:24,840
Speaker 1: do for work? So I'm like a little bit of everywhere.

1045
00:51:24,840 --> 00:51:27,920
Speaker 1: I work in a prison. So shifted, so good. You

1046
00:51:28,000 --> 00:51:37,800
Speaker 1: know you've got a great example. That's like two comedians.

1047
00:51:37,840 --> 00:51:44,360
Speaker 1: It's a race to get to that joke. Yeah. I

1048
00:51:44,360 --> 00:51:47,359
Speaker 1: guess that's maybe that's why I don't like any right,

1049
00:51:47,440 --> 00:51:50,319
Speaker 1: because you're seeing it at the most graphic plane. Yeah.

1050
00:51:50,960 --> 00:51:53,080
Speaker 1: I think the thing for you to focus on in

1051
00:51:53,160 --> 00:51:57,120
Speaker 1: the immediate future is to be more communicative about what

1052
00:51:57,280 --> 00:52:00,600
Speaker 1: you are interested in and just frontload that right, and

1053
00:52:00,680 --> 00:52:03,239
Speaker 1: then you're gonna, i think, draw more people in that

1054
00:52:03,440 --> 00:52:05,520
Speaker 1: maybe feel the same way with you, or have an

1055
00:52:05,560 --> 00:52:08,520
Speaker 1: experience level where they'll have the patience to kind of

1056
00:52:08,680 --> 00:52:11,359
Speaker 1: learn with you and grow with you. But always front

1057
00:52:11,440 --> 00:52:13,600
Speaker 1: load because if you're because that's just going to add

1058
00:52:13,640 --> 00:52:16,239
Speaker 1: to your anxiety. When you're keeping something from somebody and

1059
00:52:16,239 --> 00:52:17,960
Speaker 1: then they get back to your house and they're expecting

1060
00:52:18,040 --> 00:52:20,279
Speaker 1: something to happen and you're not about to deliver that,

1061
00:52:20,600 --> 00:52:22,560
Speaker 1: then that's going to create anxiety for you. And you

1062
00:52:22,560 --> 00:52:25,080
Speaker 1: already have anxiety. So we want to just like take

1063
00:52:25,160 --> 00:52:27,279
Speaker 1: that out of the equation in any way we can.

1064
00:52:28,000 --> 00:52:31,160
Speaker 1: And also based on your first and last name, do

1065
00:52:31,360 --> 00:52:35,520
Speaker 1: you use cottage cheese in your lasagna? Yes, you do,

1066
00:52:41,840 --> 00:52:46,040
Speaker 1: my shame. Do you take hard boiled eggs onto planes

1067
00:52:46,120 --> 00:53:00,400
Speaker 1: with you? I would never do that. No, sorry, that

1068
00:53:00,520 --> 00:53:04,359
Speaker 1: would that would put my anxiety like through the roof.

1069
00:53:04,600 --> 00:53:07,280
Speaker 1: Not this being the most shameful part of the Internet.

1070
00:53:07,640 --> 00:53:11,320
Speaker 1: I hope that you really leave today with a whole

1071
00:53:11,600 --> 00:53:16,360
Speaker 1: new set of ideas. Okay, because he basically just served

1072
00:53:16,400 --> 00:53:23,759
Speaker 1: you to make in my life. Yeah you do, okay,

1073
00:53:23,840 --> 00:53:25,960
Speaker 1: So just to chill the funk out, okay, try to

1074
00:53:26,040 --> 00:53:29,040
Speaker 1: chill out. Yeah, just work on your communication skills. There's

1075
00:53:29,080 --> 00:53:30,560
Speaker 1: nothing to be ashamed of, you know what I mean.

1076
00:53:30,680 --> 00:53:33,600
Speaker 1: Honesty is the best thing always always, always front foot,

1077
00:53:33,640 --> 00:53:36,400
Speaker 1: with honesty, front load, front foot. I don't even know

1078
00:53:36,440 --> 00:53:40,000
Speaker 1: what I'm talking about. And good luck with you and

1079
00:53:40,200 --> 00:53:43,960
Speaker 1: your asshole. Thank you. I appreciate. Okay, keep was supposed

1080
00:53:44,000 --> 00:53:46,160
Speaker 1: if things change, let us know, and I want to know,

1081
00:53:46,360 --> 00:53:48,160
Speaker 1: Like you know, with the more experience, I think that

1082
00:53:48,239 --> 00:53:50,319
Speaker 1: you might enjoy sex more than you think you might,

1083
00:53:50,640 --> 00:53:54,360
Speaker 1: because it's a very human where animals most people want that,

1084
00:53:54,600 --> 00:53:58,320
Speaker 1: you know, we want. Yeah, okay, okay, I think we

1085
00:53:58,400 --> 00:54:06,919
Speaker 1: got up all right. Thanks so much, Marco, Thank you, guys.

1086
00:54:06,960 --> 00:54:14,360
Speaker 1: I appreciate. Thank you. Good Catherine. I hope you have

1087
00:54:14,520 --> 00:54:17,800
Speaker 1: some time to reflect late on this afternoon, because you

1088
00:54:17,880 --> 00:54:21,319
Speaker 1: know what he just was like, Listen, I'm not I'm

1089
00:54:21,360 --> 00:54:23,279
Speaker 1: down with cotta cheese. You thought you had someone on

1090
00:54:23,360 --> 00:54:25,479
Speaker 1: your team and guess what he was off your team

1091
00:54:25,520 --> 00:54:28,360
Speaker 1: two seconds he was like his face. It was the

1092
00:54:28,400 --> 00:54:34,000
Speaker 1: first time I saw him like his face crunch. Oh.

1093
00:54:34,120 --> 00:54:36,759
Speaker 1: He was cute. He was a high Yeah. I know,

1094
00:54:37,000 --> 00:54:38,960
Speaker 1: he's sweet. I wish I could adopt somebody like that

1095
00:54:39,080 --> 00:54:42,400
Speaker 1: and just lead them. He was so sweet. He's one

1096
00:54:42,440 --> 00:54:44,360
Speaker 1: of my favorite colors that we've had. I was so

1097
00:54:44,480 --> 00:54:47,359
Speaker 1: excited to Yeah, and honestly, the way he was talking

1098
00:54:47,440 --> 00:54:50,480
Speaker 1: to us, just talk to your partner that way. He

1099
00:54:50,560 --> 00:54:52,960
Speaker 1: was talking to Chelsea Handler about not wanting anal, Like,

1100
00:54:53,040 --> 00:54:55,400
Speaker 1: you can't say that in a private conversation with somebody.

1101
00:54:55,480 --> 00:54:58,279
Speaker 1: I know, this is pretty bold. Well, some people have

1102
00:54:58,360 --> 00:55:00,320
Speaker 1: a lot more. Yeah, I think it's hard. So sometimes

1103
00:55:00,400 --> 00:55:02,640
Speaker 1: people have a lot more a bigger issue with saying

1104
00:55:02,680 --> 00:55:05,160
Speaker 1: it in the moment, especially when it's intimacy. People have

1105
00:55:05,280 --> 00:55:08,440
Speaker 1: so many issues around intimacy. People are freaking weird, you know.

1106
00:55:08,760 --> 00:55:10,960
Speaker 1: I mean I I've had experience with that too, where

1107
00:55:11,000 --> 00:55:13,560
Speaker 1: I'm just like, you know, like you freeze or you

1108
00:55:13,560 --> 00:55:15,439
Speaker 1: don't want to disappoint. You don't know what the person

1109
00:55:15,560 --> 00:55:18,120
Speaker 1: is expecting, and that's it disappoint. You feel like you're

1110
00:55:18,120 --> 00:55:20,799
Speaker 1: going to disappoint the other person. Yeah, and you're right.

1111
00:55:20,880 --> 00:55:25,239
Speaker 1: Communicating that with somebody else takes away that shame and

1112
00:55:25,360 --> 00:55:27,800
Speaker 1: you can just have honest conversations with somebody. Yeah. And

1113
00:55:27,880 --> 00:55:31,000
Speaker 1: then you can conversely go too far in the opposite direction,

1114
00:55:31,120 --> 00:55:33,279
Speaker 1: Like I've had several one night stands where I was

1115
00:55:33,320 --> 00:55:35,680
Speaker 1: putting it out there right away, like just so you know,

1116
00:55:36,760 --> 00:55:41,359
Speaker 1: I'm here to sex, and that's that's backfired on me too,

1117
00:55:41,440 --> 00:55:42,920
Speaker 1: where guys like what do you mean you're just here

1118
00:55:42,920 --> 00:55:44,640
Speaker 1: to sex. It's like, well, wait, I thought that was

1119
00:55:44,680 --> 00:55:46,279
Speaker 1: gonna be the good thing for me to say, like

1120
00:55:46,560 --> 00:55:48,279
Speaker 1: we'll be on the same page, and guys are like,

1121
00:55:48,560 --> 00:55:51,560
Speaker 1: I mean, I've had guys surprised to my surprise be like, no,

1122
00:55:51,960 --> 00:55:53,680
Speaker 1: that's too forward. I don't like that. I don't like

1123
00:55:53,760 --> 00:55:55,560
Speaker 1: when a women talks like that and you're like, okay, well,

1124
00:55:55,920 --> 00:55:58,400
Speaker 1: I find so like I always I always feel like,

1125
00:55:58,520 --> 00:56:01,360
Speaker 1: you know, I'm a little too honest things sometimes, But whatever,

1126
00:56:01,440 --> 00:56:03,680
Speaker 1: I'm not going to change that. No, I don't think

1127
00:56:03,680 --> 00:56:08,480
Speaker 1: you should. Okay, So this is Chloe, Is it this

1128
00:56:08,560 --> 00:56:12,279
Speaker 1: about Chris Jenner? I mean, we can only hope. By

1129
00:56:12,320 --> 00:56:14,279
Speaker 1: the way, Chris Jenner sent me a satin pillow or

1130
00:56:14,360 --> 00:56:16,600
Speaker 1: silk pillow or whatever the funk it is, and I

1131
00:56:16,719 --> 00:56:20,080
Speaker 1: have to say it's magical. I've never had one of

1132
00:56:20,120 --> 00:56:22,239
Speaker 1: those because I just always thought, like, I mean, I

1133
00:56:22,320 --> 00:56:24,360
Speaker 1: do so much ship. We didn't get so many lasers

1134
00:56:24,440 --> 00:56:26,320
Speaker 1: that I don't have to worry about not getting crinkles

1135
00:56:26,360 --> 00:56:28,120
Speaker 1: on my face when I'm sleeping because I make up

1136
00:56:28,160 --> 00:56:31,720
Speaker 1: for I supplemented in other ways. But this silk pillow

1137
00:56:31,800 --> 00:56:33,640
Speaker 1: case or whatever her brand is I don't know what

1138
00:56:33,760 --> 00:56:36,960
Speaker 1: it's called, but it's delicious. Oh wonderful. I love that

1139
00:56:37,080 --> 00:56:41,080
Speaker 1: you call them crinkles. Also, I sleep on my side

1140
00:56:41,080 --> 00:56:43,040
Speaker 1: and I wake up my face looks like I've been

1141
00:56:43,120 --> 00:56:45,600
Speaker 1: sleeping a concrete all night. I know you can get

1142
00:56:45,640 --> 00:56:47,800
Speaker 1: one of those pillows that have like the little pads

1143
00:56:47,840 --> 00:56:49,200
Speaker 1: that come up so you put your head in it.

1144
00:56:49,280 --> 00:56:51,040
Speaker 1: I have one of those at my house and so

1145
00:56:51,160 --> 00:56:54,160
Speaker 1: you can't turn and they're really comfortable. I have so

1146
00:56:54,239 --> 00:56:57,799
Speaker 1: many different pillow stipulations. In the middle of the night,

1147
00:56:57,840 --> 00:56:59,560
Speaker 1: I have to change it up. Then at like three

1148
00:56:59,640 --> 00:57:01,960
Speaker 1: I need a different pillow. So I still need to

1149
00:57:02,000 --> 00:57:04,640
Speaker 1: meet your dogs. Oh, I know, hopefully before they cross over.

1150
00:57:05,200 --> 00:57:07,440
Speaker 1: There are two additional pillows. You're gonna be there in

1151
00:57:07,600 --> 00:57:09,439
Speaker 1: l A in February. I'll have them come to see

1152
00:57:09,440 --> 00:57:14,480
Speaker 1: one of your shows. I would love that they'll clap

1153
00:57:14,680 --> 00:57:19,960
Speaker 1: softly in the background. Oh, I'm miss bert Well, Chloe says,

1154
00:57:20,080 --> 00:57:22,840
Speaker 1: dear Chelsea. I married the love of my life a

1155
00:57:22,920 --> 00:57:25,840
Speaker 1: week ago today. Everything about our wedding day was so

1156
00:57:26,120 --> 00:57:30,240
Speaker 1: perfect except one thing. His mother was so far beyond

1157
00:57:30,400 --> 00:57:34,120
Speaker 1: disrespectful that I've cried almost every day since just thinking

1158
00:57:34,160 --> 00:57:37,880
Speaker 1: about it. She showed up intoxicated and walked up to

1159
00:57:38,040 --> 00:57:40,320
Speaker 1: us as we were taking pictures, right before having our

1160
00:57:40,400 --> 00:57:43,600
Speaker 1: first look. She had a rotten attitude right off the bat.

1161
00:57:43,880 --> 00:57:47,160
Speaker 1: Didn't compliment me or my dress, didn't say hi, and

1162
00:57:47,240 --> 00:57:51,520
Speaker 1: when I complimented her on her outfit, she blew me off.

1163
00:57:52,080 --> 00:57:55,280
Speaker 1: My sister complimented her as well, and she just walked away.

1164
00:57:55,880 --> 00:57:58,240
Speaker 1: Even though we were ahead of schedule, the schedule that

1165
00:57:58,360 --> 00:58:01,240
Speaker 1: my coordinator had made, she was trying to hurry pictures

1166
00:58:01,280 --> 00:58:04,240
Speaker 1: along and do things on her own timeline. She released

1167
00:58:04,240 --> 00:58:06,440
Speaker 1: her family to go get dinner before the DJ had

1168
00:58:06,440 --> 00:58:08,760
Speaker 1: announced it was time to eat, and before my husband

1169
00:58:08,800 --> 00:58:11,240
Speaker 1: and I had even dish up. She came up to

1170
00:58:11,360 --> 00:58:13,240
Speaker 1: us as we were walking around, trying to say hello

1171
00:58:13,360 --> 00:58:15,959
Speaker 1: to every table, clapping her hands at us and telling

1172
00:58:16,080 --> 00:58:18,120
Speaker 1: us to move it along and get the music going,

1173
00:58:18,600 --> 00:58:21,000
Speaker 1: even though the speeches hadn't even started and people were

1174
00:58:21,040 --> 00:58:23,920
Speaker 1: still dishing up food. I was firm and told her

1175
00:58:24,000 --> 00:58:27,160
Speaker 1: we were going by the schedule. The speeches were hilarious

1176
00:58:27,240 --> 00:58:29,440
Speaker 1: and heartfelt, though you wouldn't know it by the look

1177
00:58:29,520 --> 00:58:31,720
Speaker 1: on her face. She stared at us with a deadpan

1178
00:58:31,800 --> 00:58:34,640
Speaker 1: look across her face the entire time they were happening.

1179
00:58:35,040 --> 00:58:36,880
Speaker 1: It definitely took me out of what was supposed to

1180
00:58:36,920 --> 00:58:39,720
Speaker 1: be a funny and touching moment. There's more, but this

1181
00:58:39,800 --> 00:58:42,240
Speaker 1: email would be a college dissertation if I kept typing.

1182
00:58:42,520 --> 00:58:45,120
Speaker 1: She made me feel like absolute shit, and I certainly

1183
00:58:45,160 --> 00:58:48,120
Speaker 1: know her true feelings about me. Now my question is

1184
00:58:48,320 --> 00:58:50,880
Speaker 1: how do I handle this. I honestly never want to

1185
00:58:50,920 --> 00:58:53,800
Speaker 1: see her again, but obviously that's not an option. Though

1186
00:58:53,840 --> 00:58:55,800
Speaker 1: my husband is a hundred percent on my side and

1187
00:58:55,880 --> 00:58:58,800
Speaker 1: said we aren't going to her house for Thanksgiving. Thank

1188
00:58:58,840 --> 00:59:00,720
Speaker 1: you for reading this, and I look forward to any

1189
00:59:00,760 --> 00:59:05,120
Speaker 1: advice that you have with love Chloe. And Chloe did mention.

1190
00:59:05,280 --> 00:59:07,680
Speaker 1: I said, you know, is the drinking a habitual thing

1191
00:59:07,760 --> 00:59:10,800
Speaker 1: with her? And she says no, she hardly ever drinks.

1192
00:59:10,840 --> 00:59:13,000
Speaker 1: So that's why this was very out of character. Oh

1193
00:59:13,240 --> 00:59:16,800
Speaker 1: that's a twist, I thought for sure. Hi Chloe, Hi, Hi,

1194
00:59:17,680 --> 00:59:21,000
Speaker 1: You show up at Thanksgiving to her house and when

1195
00:59:21,080 --> 00:59:23,640
Speaker 1: I say wasted, I mean I don't even want you

1196
00:59:23,680 --> 00:59:25,520
Speaker 1: to be able to walk through the front door. I

1197
00:59:26,320 --> 00:59:29,800
Speaker 1: think that's a great strategy. Dontorry, I think Thanksgiving is

1198
00:59:29,880 --> 00:59:32,440
Speaker 1: not going to be happening. Also, are you a nurse?

1199
00:59:33,000 --> 00:59:37,000
Speaker 1: I am in dental hygiene school work. Yeah, so she's

1200
00:59:37,000 --> 00:59:38,760
Speaker 1: not a drinker, and she just got ways. She must

1201
00:59:38,800 --> 00:59:41,640
Speaker 1: have been nervous, right, I think. So she's just really

1202
00:59:41,680 --> 00:59:44,360
Speaker 1: emotional about the whole thanks, Like that's her only child

1203
00:59:44,440 --> 00:59:46,920
Speaker 1: getting married. I guess she should be happy that he's

1204
00:59:46,920 --> 00:59:49,480
Speaker 1: getting married. That's what I thought. So I was like,

1205
00:59:49,600 --> 00:59:54,200
Speaker 1: pretty honestly, like, I was pretty devastated when it just

1206
00:59:54,360 --> 00:59:56,640
Speaker 1: was the opposite. I'm like, aren't you happy for us?

1207
00:59:57,520 --> 01:00:00,480
Speaker 1: I am? Yeah, yeah, I think on see, you have

1208
01:00:00,600 --> 01:00:03,360
Speaker 1: to really feel pity for her, because, I mean, that's

1209
01:00:03,400 --> 01:00:05,960
Speaker 1: so sad that she ruined the wedding for herself and

1210
01:00:06,080 --> 01:00:08,640
Speaker 1: for so many other people. But listen, she didn't ruin

1211
01:00:08,680 --> 01:00:10,800
Speaker 1: your wedding. Don't let her ruin that day. I know

1212
01:00:10,920 --> 01:00:12,840
Speaker 1: you don't, because you're in love and you just said

1213
01:00:12,840 --> 01:00:14,920
Speaker 1: you married the love of your life. That's an unfortunate

1214
01:00:14,960 --> 01:00:17,480
Speaker 1: thing to have had happen. It will be funny in

1215
01:00:17,520 --> 01:00:19,400
Speaker 1: a certain amount of time. Yes, I was going to

1216
01:00:19,440 --> 01:00:22,240
Speaker 1: say the same thing. It's a funny story. She's a

1217
01:00:22,280 --> 01:00:25,000
Speaker 1: hot mess and her like complimenting your outfit and her

1218
01:00:25,040 --> 01:00:27,600
Speaker 1: not receiving the compliment about hers. Of course she didn't.

1219
01:00:27,680 --> 01:00:29,919
Speaker 1: She's fucking wasted. She can't even hear anything you're saying.

1220
01:00:30,040 --> 01:00:32,440
Speaker 1: You know, she's in a she was in a blackout.

1221
01:00:32,520 --> 01:00:35,720
Speaker 1: Probably does she have any recollection of the wedding? Do

1222
01:00:35,760 --> 01:00:38,040
Speaker 1: you know from your husband? Has he spoken to her?

1223
01:00:38,320 --> 01:00:40,080
Speaker 1: Oh there's a ghost in your house. Do you see

1224
01:00:40,080 --> 01:00:47,480
Speaker 1: that ghost that just went through your door? I swear

1225
01:00:47,720 --> 01:00:49,760
Speaker 1: we just saw a shutow. I'm sure it's the computer screen.

1226
01:00:49,840 --> 01:00:52,439
Speaker 1: So don't worry. Well, I love I love true crime

1227
01:00:52,480 --> 01:00:54,520
Speaker 1: and all that. So okay, Well that ghosts are a

1228
01:00:54,560 --> 01:01:00,880
Speaker 1: lot different than you cried. But whatever, it's true. Wow,

1229
01:01:00,920 --> 01:01:07,800
Speaker 1: it's not dark it started dark story. Oh my god,

1230
01:01:08,720 --> 01:01:10,800
Speaker 1: what did your husband say to her after the wedding?

1231
01:01:11,320 --> 01:01:15,520
Speaker 1: That's my thing is, like, we haven't there's been no communication. Really.

1232
01:01:15,840 --> 01:01:19,160
Speaker 1: All we had was just a text from her to

1233
01:01:19,280 --> 01:01:22,000
Speaker 1: my husband saying like I should probably apologize for some

1234
01:01:22,160 --> 01:01:25,919
Speaker 1: things I don't really remember. And that was it. Yeah,

1235
01:01:26,040 --> 01:01:28,200
Speaker 1: she doesn't know what happened. She doesn't know what happened.

1236
01:01:28,200 --> 01:01:30,960
Speaker 1: I would say, listen, as a bigger person, which you

1237
01:01:31,040 --> 01:01:35,440
Speaker 1: obviously are, just try to not take it so seriously.

1238
01:01:35,560 --> 01:01:38,240
Speaker 1: What happened. It's an incident, and you don't want to

1239
01:01:38,320 --> 01:01:41,200
Speaker 1: just hold all this anger and resentment towards her because

1240
01:01:41,240 --> 01:01:44,360
Speaker 1: she clearly obviously has issues. She probably had a really

1241
01:01:44,400 --> 01:01:47,840
Speaker 1: hard time with the day, losing her son in her mind,

1242
01:01:48,440 --> 01:01:51,960
Speaker 1: and she tried to, you know, help that situation by

1243
01:01:52,200 --> 01:01:55,360
Speaker 1: over stimulating herself. And I'm sure she regrets it. I'm

1244
01:01:55,400 --> 01:01:58,560
Speaker 1: sure she's in a very deep shame spiral. There's no

1245
01:01:58,720 --> 01:02:00,480
Speaker 1: way that you can act like that and not feel

1246
01:02:00,520 --> 01:02:02,880
Speaker 1: like an asshole afterward, you know what I mean, especially

1247
01:02:02,920 --> 01:02:05,720
Speaker 1: when you're not a drinker. She's not a normal drunk,

1248
01:02:05,840 --> 01:02:08,320
Speaker 1: so she's going to have shame about it. Obviously, give

1249
01:02:08,360 --> 01:02:11,000
Speaker 1: it some time, but try to forgive her, you know,

1250
01:02:11,120 --> 01:02:13,880
Speaker 1: let her apologize to you in due time, and if

1251
01:02:13,960 --> 01:02:16,080
Speaker 1: she doesn't, just go. You know, that was really unfortunate.

1252
01:02:16,160 --> 01:02:18,800
Speaker 1: It was a really unfortunate part of the day. Luckily

1253
01:02:18,840 --> 01:02:20,760
Speaker 1: it didn't ruin my day. But when I think back

1254
01:02:20,840 --> 01:02:24,000
Speaker 1: on that day, I do remember that, and that's that's

1255
01:02:24,000 --> 01:02:25,800
Speaker 1: always going to be with me and now you have

1256
01:02:25,920 --> 01:02:28,240
Speaker 1: to live with that. But don't hold this against her

1257
01:02:28,280 --> 01:02:29,880
Speaker 1: for the rest of her life, you know what I mean.

1258
01:02:30,560 --> 01:02:33,040
Speaker 1: Not going there for Thanksgiving, you're setting enough of a

1259
01:02:33,120 --> 01:02:35,800
Speaker 1: signal that's going to be devastating for her if that's

1260
01:02:35,840 --> 01:02:37,960
Speaker 1: her only son. And I do think you should find

1261
01:02:37,960 --> 01:02:39,920
Speaker 1: a way to make it funny. I know that sounds

1262
01:02:40,160 --> 01:02:42,040
Speaker 1: hard to do right now, but you either get like

1263
01:02:42,080 --> 01:02:44,400
Speaker 1: a caricature artist to draw like your wedding with her

1264
01:02:44,560 --> 01:02:47,920
Speaker 1: just like creeping in the background, drunk, clapping at birds,

1265
01:02:48,160 --> 01:02:52,880
Speaker 1: drinking like pist off every picture, just because there is

1266
01:02:52,920 --> 01:02:55,160
Speaker 1: something funny about being Nope, not like going back to

1267
01:02:55,200 --> 01:02:57,320
Speaker 1: the ghost, but you literally being haunted by a drunk

1268
01:02:57,360 --> 01:03:00,720
Speaker 1: woman the whole wedding, and it's kind of hysterical. I mean, yeah,

1269
01:03:00,800 --> 01:03:03,800
Speaker 1: I guess you're right. It's everything really like rolls off

1270
01:03:03,840 --> 01:03:08,560
Speaker 1: my back and I like laugh everything off honestly. So yeah,

1271
01:03:08,600 --> 01:03:11,120
Speaker 1: I just had to really considered doing that with this.

1272
01:03:11,360 --> 01:03:15,200
Speaker 1: Give it, give it some in forgiveness. Yeah, it's funny.

1273
01:03:15,240 --> 01:03:17,200
Speaker 1: We both started laughing as soon as we've heard you

1274
01:03:17,360 --> 01:03:19,640
Speaker 1: they're your letter, not like in a way that we

1275
01:03:19,760 --> 01:03:21,960
Speaker 1: know it's going to be funny, because all things like

1276
01:03:22,040 --> 01:03:25,600
Speaker 1: this end up being hilarious, you know. So just you're

1277
01:03:25,720 --> 01:03:28,920
Speaker 1: you're gonna be fine. Don't don't harbor all this resentment

1278
01:03:28,960 --> 01:03:30,439
Speaker 1: towards her. I know it's going to take a little

1279
01:03:30,440 --> 01:03:32,200
Speaker 1: bit of time for you to get past it. You

1280
01:03:32,280 --> 01:03:34,960
Speaker 1: can be upset, but you know, try and understand where

1281
01:03:35,000 --> 01:03:37,040
Speaker 1: she's coming from. It's not an excuse, but you know,

1282
01:03:37,120 --> 01:03:39,479
Speaker 1: then you're the bigger person, and then there's really nothing

1283
01:03:39,560 --> 01:03:42,400
Speaker 1: to argue with and it might make you closer. Yeah,

1284
01:03:43,000 --> 01:03:45,640
Speaker 1: that's true. Yeah, especially if she does apologize. It is

1285
01:03:45,720 --> 01:03:48,080
Speaker 1: really kind of more sad than anything else. You know,

1286
01:03:48,200 --> 01:03:50,880
Speaker 1: it's just kind of pathetic, like that's the father or

1287
01:03:50,920 --> 01:03:53,280
Speaker 1: the mother of the groom. Yeah, the new mother in

1288
01:03:53,360 --> 01:03:56,200
Speaker 1: law of the ghost. The way you feel about it,

1289
01:03:56,280 --> 01:03:59,000
Speaker 1: it will loom less large in your mind. And I

1290
01:03:59,160 --> 01:04:01,000
Speaker 1: love this idea of like turning it into a joke.

1291
01:04:01,120 --> 01:04:03,480
Speaker 1: But when I got married, we had a situation where

1292
01:04:03,600 --> 01:04:05,840
Speaker 1: like it was the most rain in a hundred and

1293
01:04:05,880 --> 01:04:07,920
Speaker 1: fifty years. The person who was going to do the

1294
01:04:08,040 --> 01:04:10,160
Speaker 1: videography couldn't make it, and so it was like a

1295
01:04:10,240 --> 01:04:13,200
Speaker 1: cousin of somebody who wound up doing it. And for

1296
01:04:13,400 --> 01:04:15,920
Speaker 1: some reason, they decided after I walked down the aisle

1297
01:04:16,120 --> 01:04:18,040
Speaker 1: they should turn off the camera for a little while,

1298
01:04:18,280 --> 01:04:21,440
Speaker 1: and so they did, and then missed most of our

1299
01:04:21,520 --> 01:04:25,280
Speaker 1: ceremony and finally turned it back on like in the

1300
01:04:25,360 --> 01:04:27,360
Speaker 1: middle of the vows sort of thing. And I was

1301
01:04:27,480 --> 01:04:29,680
Speaker 1: so hurt and crushed by that that for years I

1302
01:04:29,720 --> 01:04:32,080
Speaker 1: didn't watch my wedding video, and then a couple of

1303
01:04:32,160 --> 01:04:34,760
Speaker 1: years ago I finally watched it back and realized there

1304
01:04:34,840 --> 01:04:36,800
Speaker 1: was so much more of the ceremony, which was only

1305
01:04:36,880 --> 01:04:38,960
Speaker 1: like twenty minutes long, but there was so much more

1306
01:04:39,000 --> 01:04:43,200
Speaker 1: than I remembered that was there, and it's such a happy,

1307
01:04:43,320 --> 01:04:46,600
Speaker 1: wonderful memory now. So like your feelings around it will

1308
01:04:46,760 --> 01:04:49,560
Speaker 1: change and you you'll feel better about it. The most

1309
01:04:49,680 --> 01:04:51,240
Speaker 1: mature thing you can do is to know that you're

1310
01:04:51,240 --> 01:04:54,360
Speaker 1: going to feel differently about this in a little bit. Yeah. Yeah,

1311
01:04:54,400 --> 01:04:57,360
Speaker 1: I guess I was pretty recent, so maybe just some

1312
01:04:57,560 --> 01:04:59,440
Speaker 1: time I would be grateful. Listen, you have a great

1313
01:04:59,520 --> 01:05:01,120
Speaker 1: life ahead of you. You're with you the love of

1314
01:05:01,200 --> 01:05:03,480
Speaker 1: your life. You don't have time to Harvard resentment towards

1315
01:05:03,520 --> 01:05:09,080
Speaker 1: his idiot mother who cares. Yeah, and now you get

1316
01:05:09,160 --> 01:05:13,240
Speaker 1: to be married to him. Yeah, yeah, it's very exciting. Yeah.

1317
01:05:13,240 --> 01:05:15,560
Speaker 1: And hopefully you're the daughter that you are son that

1318
01:05:15,640 --> 01:05:19,040
Speaker 1: you guys create together, won't be an alcoholic like her grandmother.

1319
01:05:20,000 --> 01:05:22,120
Speaker 1: And for Christmas, center a bottle of vodka and say

1320
01:05:22,160 --> 01:05:26,480
Speaker 1: I thought of you. On every wedding anniversary, you can

1321
01:05:26,560 --> 01:05:30,000
Speaker 1: center a bottle of vodka and go happy anniversary. We

1322
01:05:30,160 --> 01:05:36,600
Speaker 1: know this is your favorite day. Okay, yeah, this already

1323
01:05:36,720 --> 01:05:39,520
Speaker 1: is funny to me. So thank you. Okay, take care,

1324
01:05:39,640 --> 01:05:45,479
Speaker 1: We love you. Thanks Chloe. Oh that was I'm glad

1325
01:05:45,480 --> 01:05:49,480
Speaker 1: we took that call. Good call. And I know it's

1326
01:05:49,560 --> 01:05:52,080
Speaker 1: like someone calls in with a serious problem that the

1327
01:05:52,240 --> 01:05:55,840
Speaker 1: two people are who sitting here and fucking laughing laughing

1328
01:05:55,880 --> 01:05:58,440
Speaker 1: at the very first sentence. But that is kind of

1329
01:05:58,520 --> 01:06:01,520
Speaker 1: what you need it Like, where when has anyone been

1330
01:06:01,560 --> 01:06:03,920
Speaker 1: to a wedding where there wasn't a drunk asshole. That's

1331
01:06:03,960 --> 01:06:06,680
Speaker 1: the thing. My mom always says, something goes wrong at

1332
01:06:06,720 --> 01:06:09,000
Speaker 1: every single wedding, whether somebody puts the cake in the

1333
01:06:09,040 --> 01:06:12,560
Speaker 1: sun and it falls over or whatever. My sister in law,

1334
01:06:12,800 --> 01:06:15,439
Speaker 1: the pastor, brought out a laser pointer in the middle

1335
01:06:15,480 --> 01:06:17,880
Speaker 1: of it. Like, something goes wrong and weird at every wedding.

1336
01:06:18,080 --> 01:06:20,360
Speaker 1: So this is just her thing. You know, what do

1337
01:06:20,400 --> 01:06:23,280
Speaker 1: you think went wrong at Tiffany Trump's wedding? Oh my god,

1338
01:06:23,320 --> 01:06:25,320
Speaker 1: I saw the funniest thing. I have to show you, Matteo.

1339
01:06:25,400 --> 01:06:28,040
Speaker 1: You guys, I'll read this to you. Catherine, my friend

1340
01:06:28,160 --> 01:06:32,160
Speaker 1: just posted something so fucking funny. It's a picture of

1341
01:06:32,320 --> 01:06:36,120
Speaker 1: all of that picture of Tiffany Trump. Okay, she is

1342
01:06:36,200 --> 01:06:38,600
Speaker 1: my favorite of the Trump family. It's hard to have

1343
01:06:38,680 --> 01:06:42,080
Speaker 1: a favorite because it's like it's really it's Lana Trump,

1344
01:06:42,200 --> 01:06:46,960
Speaker 1: Marla Maples, Tiffany Trump in the middle, then Milania and

1345
01:06:47,120 --> 01:06:49,600
Speaker 1: then Ivanka. So they're all standing together and it says

1346
01:06:49,680 --> 01:06:53,560
Speaker 1: traditional family values standing between your mom and the chick

1347
01:06:53,600 --> 01:06:56,320
Speaker 1: you're dad cheated on your mom with who was standing

1348
01:06:56,360 --> 01:06:59,720
Speaker 1: next to your half sister, whose mom your tent sheeted

1349
01:06:59,800 --> 01:07:12,240
Speaker 1: on with your This is so solid, so solid. All Okay,

1350
01:07:12,400 --> 01:07:14,080
Speaker 1: well I figure on that note, we're gonna have to

1351
01:07:14,160 --> 01:07:17,040
Speaker 1: take a break and wrap it up. Yeah, okay, let's

1352
01:07:17,040 --> 01:07:18,840
Speaker 1: take a break. I'm gonna put poteto in the bubble

1353
01:07:18,920 --> 01:07:26,720
Speaker 1: bath and we're back, and we're back. Well, Matteo, we're

1354
01:07:26,720 --> 01:07:28,760
Speaker 1: going to wrap up. But is there any advice you'd

1355
01:07:28,800 --> 01:07:32,200
Speaker 1: like from Chelsea? There is advice i'd like from you.

1356
01:07:32,520 --> 01:07:39,720
Speaker 1: How do you handle criticism about your act? I mean,

1357
01:07:40,400 --> 01:07:45,760
Speaker 1: there's more evidence that points to your own success than

1358
01:07:45,840 --> 01:07:49,760
Speaker 1: there is that points to your own detriment. For me,

1359
01:07:50,400 --> 01:07:54,120
Speaker 1: I have enough experience to know that I have what

1360
01:07:54,560 --> 01:07:56,760
Speaker 1: I've got it. I've got the goods, and you know

1361
01:07:56,880 --> 01:07:59,240
Speaker 1: that you've got the goods. So for all those like

1362
01:07:59,440 --> 01:08:01,640
Speaker 1: little people who want to be in your ear or

1363
01:08:01,720 --> 01:08:04,520
Speaker 1: on your Instagram. Those aren't the voices that you have

1364
01:08:04,640 --> 01:08:06,880
Speaker 1: to care about, because you could look at like three

1365
01:08:07,000 --> 01:08:10,120
Speaker 1: hundred comments and you see one out of three hundred,

1366
01:08:10,160 --> 01:08:13,360
Speaker 1: and then we focus on that. No, you're focusing on

1367
01:08:13,480 --> 01:08:17,839
Speaker 1: the other two, right, But also what you're really focusing

1368
01:08:17,920 --> 01:08:20,120
Speaker 1: on is not ever paying attention to any of those

1369
01:08:20,160 --> 01:08:22,600
Speaker 1: comments either way, and focusing on the trust that you

1370
01:08:22,680 --> 01:08:25,120
Speaker 1: have in yourself as a performer. And I think that

1371
01:08:25,400 --> 01:08:28,000
Speaker 1: just gets louder and louder over time. You know, the

1372
01:08:28,080 --> 01:08:30,320
Speaker 1: more experience you have, the more you know that you

1373
01:08:30,400 --> 01:08:32,120
Speaker 1: know what's up and that you've got the goods. And

1374
01:08:32,200 --> 01:08:34,120
Speaker 1: that's all you have to say to yourself is I've

1375
01:08:34,160 --> 01:08:38,400
Speaker 1: got the goods. Yeah. Yeah, everyone should say that to themselves,

1376
01:08:38,439 --> 01:08:41,080
Speaker 1: regardless of what you do. Yeah, that's awesome, even if

1377
01:08:41,080 --> 01:08:45,720
Speaker 1: you're at a wedding drunk. Yeah, I've good. I just

1378
01:08:45,920 --> 01:08:49,200
Speaker 1: lost him. Okay, Well, Mattello, I love you so much.

1379
01:08:49,240 --> 01:08:54,639
Speaker 1: I thank you. What an entertaining, fun episode. Yeah, we're

1380
01:08:54,640 --> 01:08:57,200
Speaker 1: gonna have to have Matteo come back as a regular. Yes,

1381
01:08:57,840 --> 01:09:01,000
Speaker 1: it was really it really lightened things up. Yes, and Matteo,

1382
01:09:01,120 --> 01:09:03,400
Speaker 1: I do following you on Instagram and I think you're perfect.

1383
01:09:03,960 --> 01:09:06,160
Speaker 1: Thank you. Yeah. You want to see somebody who is

1384
01:09:06,240 --> 01:09:11,040
Speaker 1: multitalented and multifaceted. You can follow him on Instagram, TikTok

1385
01:09:11,280 --> 01:09:14,120
Speaker 1: where else? YouTube? Go to YouTube. He's putting out a

1386
01:09:14,160 --> 01:09:17,040
Speaker 1: special on YouTube soon. That's already out my YouTube page.

1387
01:09:17,040 --> 01:09:19,840
Speaker 1: Mataito Lane, Mattel Lane. Oh yeah, yeah, you guys go

1388
01:09:20,000 --> 01:09:22,400
Speaker 1: watch his special on YouTube. It's gonna you're gonna fucking

1389
01:09:22,479 --> 01:09:25,479
Speaker 1: thank us. And you can find him on Netflix's comedy specials,

1390
01:09:25,640 --> 01:09:28,960
Speaker 1: stand Out and the Comedy Lineup. Okay, have a great day.

1391
01:09:29,040 --> 01:09:32,120
Speaker 1: Thank you. Hi, don't forget to watch my special on Netflix.

1392
01:09:32,160 --> 01:09:36,120
Speaker 1: You guys revolution, It's a revolution. So if you'd like

1393
01:09:36,200 --> 01:09:39,400
Speaker 1: advice from Chelsea, just send us an email at Dear

1394
01:09:39,560 --> 01:09:43,640
Speaker 1: Chelsea podcast at gmail dot com. Dear Chelsea is a

1395
01:09:43,680 --> 01:09:47,519
Speaker 1: production of I Heart Radio. Executive produced by Nick Stuff,

1396
01:09:47,800 --> 01:09:51,160
Speaker 1: produced by Catherine Law, and edited and engineered by Brad

1397
01:09:51,240 --> 01:09:51,639
Speaker 1: Dick Hurt.