Speaker 1: Hey, hey, ba fam, It's Mandy here with another episode
Speaker 1: of The Brown Ambition Q and A the b A
Speaker 1: q A. Thank y'all so much for sending us your questions.
Speaker 1: This is one of my favorite times of the week
Speaker 1: when I get to sit down and see what's going
Speaker 1: on in y'all's lives and what kinds of questions you've got. Today.
Speaker 1: We have some interesting ones. A couple of you know,
Speaker 1: career questions, which is which is my groove, it's my jam,
Speaker 1: but a kind of spicy question about someone whose husband
Speaker 1: may or may not have been using credit cards to invest. Oof.
Speaker 1: This one's painful. I'm still trying to figure out how
Speaker 1: I'm going to respond to it. But listen, this is
Speaker 1: some really juicy tea, some hot pipe pipe and hot
Speaker 1: tea for your Friday. So let's get it going, all right.
Speaker 1: Question number one that I teased This comes from listener Robin,
Speaker 1: who sent us an e mail saying Oof okay. Robin says,
Speaker 1: my husband does not believe in savings accounts and often
Speaker 1: blows through money. I just found out that he made
Speaker 1: an over fifty thousand dollars investment without consulting me. He
Speaker 1: often does this, and he lost it all this was
Speaker 1: all done with credit cards. What or where should I
Speaker 1: start to secure my financial future? Robin, every sentence it
Speaker 1: got worse. Like, first of all, doesn't believe in savings accounts.
Speaker 1: I didn't think that was a thing that we know.
Speaker 1: I thought we could at least all agree that's one
Speaker 1: of those things like in today's world, can't we at
Speaker 1: least agree that saving is important, like we can we
Speaker 1: can fight about politics and vaccinations and that, but came.
Speaker 1: I thought we could at least agree that having more
Speaker 1: money set aside is better than not having money set aside.
Speaker 1: But Okay, your husband's a unique individual. So first of all,
Speaker 1: doesn't believe in savings accounts. Strike one often blows through money.
Speaker 1: Strike two lies to you, because I think not telling
Speaker 1: you is also a lie. Lies to you when he
Speaker 1: spent fifty thousand dollars on credit cards to invest like what,
Speaker 1: I don't even so I'm going to make an assumption
Speaker 1: here that either he did cash advances on multiple credit
Speaker 1: cards to get that amount of money, or potentially he
Speaker 1: invested in an individual's business by paying with a credit card.
Speaker 1: I have no idea. I can't even begin to fathom
Speaker 1: your question, though, is where do I even start to
Speaker 1: secure my financial future? Robin, Listen, I am in obviously.
Speaker 1: I've been married for several years now, I've been with
Speaker 1: my partner for a decade, and it's not easy. It's
Speaker 1: definitely not easy to align yourselves financially with an entire
Speaker 1: with a different individual. You've got to diferent goals, different styles,
Speaker 1: different values potentially. But this is like beyond, This is
Speaker 1: beyond the normal kind of situation that partners face when
Speaker 1: it comes to trying to work out their finances as
Speaker 1: a team. This is next level. I mean, this is
Speaker 1: like fraud. It's fraud on you. I'm concerned for you, genuinely,
Speaker 1: genuinely concerned that your finances are in deep, deep jeopardy.
Speaker 1: The longer this continues to go on. At this point,
Speaker 1: given the level of financial infidelity happening, the level of
Speaker 1: I'm gonna guess manipulation control, I don't know what's exactly
Speaker 1: going on here, but it's so bad that I don't
Speaker 1: even know if there's a way to necessarily rectify it.
Speaker 1: As far as your personal financial future, I would make
Speaker 1: sure that none of that debt is in your name,
Speaker 1: like those credit cards. I'm hoping that they were just
Speaker 1: in your husband's name and not your own, and start
Speaker 1: keeping really tight control and protecting your finance. It's protecting
Speaker 1: your bank accounts. I would start squirreling away money in
Speaker 1: your own savings account that he does not have any
Speaker 1: access to. Girl, get that password, get second factor authentication,
Speaker 1: you know, get the FBI on it, lock it down,
Speaker 1: because I don't think you want your husband anywhere near
Speaker 1: your money, because he's proven to be really careless. Yeah,
Speaker 1: this is shocking to me. So I would start on
Speaker 1: your own. Like, let's even forget about the relationship factor.
Speaker 1: Like you're you're an independent woman. You can decide whether
Speaker 1: or not this is the kind of relationship you want
Speaker 1: to continue having. But let's say you decide to stay
Speaker 1: with this person. I think it's all about you creating
Speaker 1: a huge like grand canyon, sides divide, and on one
Speaker 1: end of that grand canyon is him, and on the
Speaker 1: other end of it is you and your money. So
Speaker 1: keep it safe, keep your own savings accounts, keep you
Speaker 1: your own credit cards, make sure that they are hidden
Speaker 1: that he can't take them. And then as far as
Speaker 1: your assets and the debts that he's been taking out,
Speaker 1: start to figure out, you know, what your if your
Speaker 1: name is on any of those accounts. You may even
Speaker 1: want to speak with a family law attorney to because
Speaker 1: in your state, like there's sometimes not sometimes often in
Speaker 1: different states they treat they treat spousal debt in different ways.
Speaker 1: And I'm not sure where you're from, so I can't
Speaker 1: really speak to the laws in your state, but reaching
Speaker 1: out for informational conversation or consultation with a family law
Speaker 1: attorney may help you figure out in your particular state,
Speaker 1: what can be done to protect your assets from any
Speaker 1: bad acts on his part, because that's that's the best
Speaker 1: thing you can do. You don't mention children, so maybe
Speaker 1: you know in this case things are a bit simpler.
Speaker 1: It's just you. So I'm trying to think of other
Speaker 1: ways you could potentially I mean, this guy unhinged. He
Speaker 1: literally sounds unhinged. So I hope that you are. You
Speaker 1: can reach out to someone who can give you some
Speaker 1: legal advice about how to protect yourself in your state.
Speaker 1: But this does not sound like a healthy relationship. It
Speaker 1: sounds really freaking scary. I hope that you're taking care
Speaker 1: of yourself and taking some steps toward protecting yourself and
Speaker 1: don't necessarily blame yourself. I mean, listen, when people are
Speaker 1: when people are this hell bent on taking risks with money,
Speaker 1: I mean, there's something else going on there. It has
Speaker 1: nothing to do with you, and it's not about how
Speaker 1: you could have prevented it. Like if they're really determined,
Speaker 1: bound and determined to make these kinds of careless mistakes
Speaker 1: when it comes to their finances, there's probably nothing you
Speaker 1: could have done. This is just about putting your own
Speaker 1: oxygen mask on first and getting if you're not going
Speaker 1: to get out of the relationship, at least protect yourself
Speaker 1: financially so that you know you've got that safety and
Speaker 1: security and you can take care of yourself at the
Speaker 1: end of the day. I am wishing you really well.
Speaker 1: Thank you so much for opening up and sharing your story,
Speaker 1: and I hope you hear this and I hope that
Speaker 1: you're doing well. Okay, all right, WHOA, that was a lot.
Speaker 1: Why don't we take a quick breaking break and I
Speaker 1: will be right back with more of your ba q
Speaker 1: and as all right, ba fam, we are back. I
Speaker 1: am well, I say we. I'm so used to being
Speaker 1: a wee Tiffany. I miss you. I am back. It's
Speaker 1: Mandy with more of your ba Q and a's y'all.
Speaker 1: If you want to shoot us a question, you know
Speaker 1: you can do that on IG Hit me up at
Speaker 1: Mandy Money on IG, or you can hit our podcast
Speaker 1: page up at Brand Ambition Podcast and it's a DM
Speaker 1: also on email Branambition Podcast at gmail dot com. We
Speaker 1: love to get y'all's questions, everything from career to financial
Speaker 1: to relationship advice. We're here for y'all. Send them on in.
Speaker 1: All right, We've got a couple of juicy career questions now,
Speaker 1: so let me move on over to IG. Actually, I've
Speaker 1: got a question from Kelly. Kelly says Mandy. I listened
Speaker 1: to your webinar last week. There was a question about
Speaker 1: staying at a job for flexibility but the pay is
Speaker 1: not good. What do you think about that? All right,
Speaker 1: So I hosted a webinar last week. It's called seventy
Speaker 1: K to seven hundred K How I quit my way
Speaker 1: rich and built wealth through my nine to five. And
Speaker 1: this is a webinar I've done only two times. And
Speaker 1: the reason I started doing this was because I wanted
Speaker 1: to open up and share sort of my story on
Speaker 1: literally how I quit and how quitting jobs played such
Speaker 1: a fundamental role in helping me build wealth over the
Speaker 1: course of my career, especially in the last five years,
Speaker 1: which is when I was able to make that jump
Speaker 1: from seventy K net worth to seven hundred K net
Speaker 1: worth based on some strategic career moves that I made.
Speaker 1: And what I love about this webinar is people like
Speaker 1: it's I keep it. I keep it one hundred percent
Speaker 1: in these webinars, and the questions are so good and
Speaker 1: I didn't get to all of them during this past webinar,
Speaker 1: So I love that Kelly wrote in to ask this question.
Speaker 1: So she's saying, stay at a job because it's flexible,
Speaker 1: but the pay isn't too good. I get it, y'all,
Speaker 1: especially when you're a working parent. Sometimes knowing that, okay,
Speaker 1: when I need to stay home for example, like if
Speaker 1: the kid is sick, or you know, if you're sick
Speaker 1: and you just want to have the flexibility of staying home,
Speaker 1: or you want to take a mental health day or
Speaker 1: things like that, Knowing that you've got a team and
Speaker 1: a boss there who just trust you to get your
Speaker 1: job done and isn't going to necessarily make you feel
Speaker 1: bad for taking that time off, and especially now, like
Speaker 1: if they also give you the ability to work remotely
Speaker 1: on top of working in the office, that's a huge benefit.
Speaker 1: That's like a It's a kind of job benefit or
Speaker 1: job perk that you can't necessarily put a price tag
Speaker 1: on the same way you can like base salary or
Speaker 1: signing bonus or equity. But it's definitely one of the
Speaker 1: more attractive benefits that jobs have today to offer, and
Speaker 1: it's what people want. We desperately are wanting more of
Speaker 1: this flexibility, So I can understand why. Like, for example,
Speaker 1: if you've got job A and they're offering you seventy
Speaker 1: five flexible schedule, you can make your own schedule, you
Speaker 1: can work from home when you want to remote work
Speaker 1: when you want to, et cetera. And you're choosing between
Speaker 1: that job versus Job B, which is maybe ninety five K,
Speaker 1: but they want your butt in the seat at eight am,
Speaker 1: and they want you to track your lunch breaks and
Speaker 1: they dock your pay if you're gonna be late or
Speaker 1: things like that like that to me, is maybe not
Speaker 1: worth at extra twenty K, And it's really a personal
Speaker 1: choice at the end of the day. It's a personal choice.
Speaker 1: If the job, if the job that you have now
Speaker 1: is giving you flexibility, that makes you, It makes you happy,
Speaker 1: It makes your day easier, it helps you do what
Speaker 1: you can for yourself, for your family and have a
Speaker 1: living wage and be able to pay your bills on time.
Speaker 1: Like that is the dream, right However, I would never
Speaker 1: want anyone to necessarily stay in a job just because
Speaker 1: they're flexible, the same way I wouldn't want someone to
Speaker 1: stay in a job because the pay is decent. You
Speaker 1: never know what else is out there, and that the
Speaker 1: reality is that a lot of like there's more than
Speaker 1: one employer that is willing to be flexible today, especially
Speaker 1: in today's job market, more and more employers are getting it.
Speaker 1: They are actually getting it. They are increasing the number
Speaker 1: of paid time off days, sick days, you know, being
Speaker 1: more flexible when it comes to remote work. So the
Speaker 1: odds are even greater of finding another employer that will
Speaker 1: be equally as flexible, but then also may pay you more.
Speaker 1: So what I'm not a fan of is ever just staying.
Speaker 1: Like my least favorite word I think I mentioned it
Speaker 1: before is stable. Just because something is stable and it's
Speaker 1: a known entity doesn't necessarily mean it's the best place
Speaker 1: for you in your career. So that's why I'm always
Speaker 1: encouraging people to keep one eye open, stay open to opportunities,
Speaker 1: stay you know, with one eye on LinkedIn or job
Speaker 1: boards to see what's coming through. Keep an eye out
Speaker 1: for employers that you hear have a great reputation for
Speaker 1: their benefits, Employers that you hear friends talking about, or
Speaker 1: that have been have won awards for the way they've
Speaker 1: treated employees, or have been written in like publications like
Speaker 1: fast Company or Insider or even Bloomberg. Sometimes they'll do
Speaker 1: lists of the best companies to work for or spotlight
Speaker 1: companies that have these amazing benefits. So keep an eye
Speaker 1: on that, because just because of place like there's more
Speaker 1: than one, there's more than one option out there. So
Speaker 1: that's what I will say. Great, I understand why you'd
Speaker 1: stay someplace, and even if you know it's paying a
Speaker 1: little bit less than what you can get somewhere else.
Speaker 1: But the huge benefit is that they're flexible. I understand
Speaker 1: that one hundred percent. But I don't want people to
Speaker 1: limit themselves or think that there's not other opportunities that
Speaker 1: could do both. It is possible to have flexibility and
Speaker 1: get good pay. You just have to be willing to
Speaker 1: wait and look for those opportunities as they come by.
Speaker 1: All right, thank you Keley. Let's move on to another question.
Speaker 1: This one comes from Golda. I know Golda gold That's
Speaker 1: one of my career coaching clients, so I love this question.
Speaker 1: Golda says, Hey, Nandy, if I leave a job after
Speaker 1: three months, what are the pros and cons of leaving
Speaker 1: it on my resume? Ooh, this is a good one, Golda.
Speaker 1: I'm not gonna even lie. I can think of two jobs,
Speaker 1: at least I'm trying to remember now, two jobs that
Speaker 1: I have full time. These are like full time professional roles.
Speaker 1: Not when I'm talking about jobs, I'm not really talking
Speaker 1: about like the part time work you did in college
Speaker 1: or in between, or bartending or whatever, nannying. If you
Speaker 1: do like those side jobs more like full time roles
Speaker 1: that you would put on a resume or LinkedIn. I
Speaker 1: can think of two jobs that I don't have on
Speaker 1: my resume because they were just short. They were such
Speaker 1: short stints. The reason is because collectively, like my resume
Speaker 1: right now as it stands, is really strong with what
Speaker 1: I have on there. The pros and cons of whether
Speaker 1: or not to have that in your resume. So let's
Speaker 1: work through them. Pros of including a job that's on
Speaker 1: your resume when you've only been there for three months.
Speaker 1: Pro is it explains a career gap. So this is
Speaker 1: becoming less problematic or less frowned upon by recruiters and
Speaker 1: hiring managers these days, to have like a gap on
Speaker 1: your resume. They're not as they're not as much like
Speaker 1: looking at that and questioning and being suspicious and actually
Speaker 1: LinkedIn just released a new feature that lets you add
Speaker 1: a career pause to your resume on LinkedIn or to
Speaker 1: your list of employment on LinkedIn, a career pause, which
Speaker 1: then you can explain if it was for caregiving or
Speaker 1: whatever reason, which is like destigmatizing that whole thing in
Speaker 1: this case though, So the pro there is that you
Speaker 1: can explain rather than have a gap there. You could
Speaker 1: have an explanation like, Okay, I was here for a
Speaker 1: short stint. Now I would expect in an interview them
Speaker 1: to ask you, okay, so you know, I see you
Speaker 1: only spend three months at this job. You know, can
Speaker 1: you tell me why? As long as you've got a
Speaker 1: strong story and you have a reason behind why you left,
Speaker 1: and it wasn't like, oh, I just like I just
Speaker 1: didn't like it. You know, hours were crappy, so I
Speaker 1: just left, Like you have to have a strong reason,
Speaker 1: and it can be you know, I was hired to
Speaker 1: do X y Z the company was acquired and everything changed.
Speaker 1: Or I was hired thinking that I'd be working on
Speaker 1: this team but things changed. You know. That's so often
Speaker 1: the reason why we leave jobs after such such short
Speaker 1: stints is because something was It was like a bait
Speaker 1: and switch, like and this happens. I think a lot
Speaker 1: when people are getting a job and you think it's
Speaker 1: something and you get in and you're like, oh crap,
Speaker 1: this is not it. And in that case, I think
Speaker 1: it's to be respected that that you're able to recognize
Speaker 1: this is not a good fit. I'm no longer the
Speaker 1: right person, so let me move on. So a pro
Speaker 1: is that you're able to explain that in an interview
Speaker 1: if given the opportunity, and you can, if you tell
Speaker 1: a reasonable story and tell it in the right way,
Speaker 1: then I think the hiring maid or the recruiter will
Speaker 1: understand and it won't necessarily be a mark against you. Now,
Speaker 1: some cons if I can play devil's advocate here, so
Speaker 1: obviously having so if you're looking at if you've got
Speaker 1: a long resume and you know you've worked two years
Speaker 1: and three years and four years, and then there's like
Speaker 1: a three month stint somewhere at the bottom, like the sorry.
Speaker 1: If it wasn't like a recent job and it's earlier
Speaker 1: in your career, I would I would lean toward that
Speaker 1: being more of a con It's just going to distract
Speaker 1: them from all the great work that you've done more recently,
Speaker 1: and it's going to like give them a reason to
Speaker 1: ask it. Like I would remove it honestly if it
Speaker 1: was let's say three years or more in the past
Speaker 1: and you've had at least one or two solid jobs
Speaker 1: since then, because like I said, it could just create
Speaker 1: like an opportunity for some doubt to creep in, and
Speaker 1: like I said, like you've got substantial career experience since then,
Speaker 1: so kind of like why take that little bit of risk.
Speaker 1: So I can go either way. If it's something if
Speaker 1: it's like your most recent job and you're leaving after
Speaker 1: three months, I would I would probably add it if
Speaker 1: the story that you have you think will resonate with recruiters.
Speaker 1: If not, then I would say you could use the
Speaker 1: new career pause or career break feature on LinkedIn just
Speaker 1: to characterize that as a career break, and you can
Speaker 1: also use the same language you know on your resume
Speaker 1: if you wanted to say career break, and then you
Speaker 1: can kind of explain I was trying out different things
Speaker 1: and ultimately decided that this is a path I want
Speaker 1: to take, and this is why I want to work
Speaker 1: for your company. So much of interviewing and explaining our
Speaker 1: career history is about storytelling. And I talk about storytelling
Speaker 1: all the time. I mean, it's how I make my
Speaker 1: living telling stories as a has been as a writer
Speaker 1: and a journalist. But it's so crucial, and that's what
Speaker 1: I feel like. I spend a ton of time working
Speaker 1: with my career coaching clients on is okay, so these
Speaker 1: things happened. If we tell the story in an accurate
Speaker 1: but strategic way, we can frame it in the best
Speaker 1: possible light so that the people on the other end
Speaker 1: understand where you're coming from, and they're understanding your thought
Speaker 1: process and the considerations that you took before making these decisions.
Speaker 1: So that's why I actually don't think that short stints
Speaker 1: at jobs necessarily are what could hinder your potential of
Speaker 1: getting your next great opportunity. I think it has a
Speaker 1: lot more to do with how you characterize those short
Speaker 1: stints and what you say to the recruiter or hiring
Speaker 1: manager about that time. If you've got a good, practiced,
Speaker 1: well framed story prepared for that, and you anticipate it'll
Speaker 1: come off positively, then I would say leave it. If
Speaker 1: your story is not there, or it was a really
Speaker 1: terrible experience and the story does not paint you in
Speaker 1: the best light, then I would say probably just leave
Speaker 1: it off the resume and explain it as a career
Speaker 1: pause of some kind. All right, I hope that is helpful.
Speaker 1: Thank you so much for your question, Golda. Thank you
Speaker 1: all so much for your questions. Again. Hit me up.
Speaker 1: I'm at Mandy Buddy on Instagram. Brand Ambission Podcast on Instagram.
Speaker 1: You can also go to our website brandimission podcast dot
Speaker 1: com to leave us your questions there, or shoot us
Speaker 1: an email at Brandambission Podcast at gmail dot com. See
Speaker 1: y'all next week.