WEBVTT - The Penalty Box 0:00:07.560 --> 0:00:15.760 I got Well, I'm back, so we know his parenting. 0:00:15.760 --> 0:00:21.840 I'm Peter McNerney. We're still in the airbnb. We're still 0:00:21.840 --> 0:00:24.960 in the airbnb. How is How's what's your review of 0:00:25.000 --> 0:00:29.720 this airbnb? This airbnb is great for what we needed 0:00:29.800 --> 0:00:33.560 for but I am slowly going insane at not ever 0:00:33.680 --> 0:00:37.760 being in my own home. Yeah, it was really great. 0:00:38.600 --> 0:00:41.800 Post vacation. We have an empty house and nothing to do, 0:00:42.920 --> 0:00:46.800 but it's a sad place. We well, it's we haven't 0:00:46.840 --> 0:00:49.839 been our own home in over two weeks now, just 0:00:50.000 --> 0:00:53.519 because of travel and bathroom renovation, and that makes me 0:00:53.560 --> 0:00:58.120 feel insane, Like every once an hour I go to 0:00:58.200 --> 0:01:02.440 look for something that would be convenient to my life, life, 0:01:02.960 --> 0:01:05.800 my work, my health and hygiene, and that thing is 0:01:05.840 --> 0:01:09.600 not there, and then I just feel like I'm just 0:01:09.680 --> 0:01:13.160 being driven slowly mad. And also our children we're not 0:01:13.400 --> 0:01:17.360 in school Britains and back in school until today, so 0:01:17.440 --> 0:01:21.880 he's just been floating around, just ruining all activity, just 0:01:21.920 --> 0:01:26.640 floating around. I mean, I'm so excited to get rid 0:01:26.640 --> 0:01:30.040 of them, But do you feel like they've grown up 0:01:30.080 --> 0:01:33.360 ten thousand years in the last few weeks. Yeah, they're 0:01:33.400 --> 0:01:36.120 like real kids. We say this every month on the 0:01:36.120 --> 0:01:38.320 podcast where like, oh my god, our kids are so huge, 0:01:38.400 --> 0:01:44.520 but now we really mean it. Um, yeah, they're just 0:01:44.560 --> 0:01:47.640 like kids, like they had like a kid Christmas. We 0:01:47.680 --> 0:01:50.160 are we probably already talked about this, but they like 0:01:51.320 --> 0:01:53.760 hung out with their cousins and played with them, and 0:01:53.800 --> 0:01:56.200 we're out of our way and entertaining each other. We 0:01:56.280 --> 0:01:58.280 ignore them for hours. We didn't have to worry about 0:01:58.280 --> 0:02:01.200 anyone like falling down a flight of dairs. Every second. 0:02:01.400 --> 0:02:04.000 We send them down the stairs and say stay there 0:02:04.000 --> 0:02:06.120 playing the basement. Hey, go fall down the stairs. What 0:02:06.120 --> 0:02:08.400 do we care, You'll be fine. Oh, your dad had 0:02:08.440 --> 0:02:12.840 a great quote over Christmas. By the way, so you're parents, 0:02:13.080 --> 0:02:16.200 I guess kind of all boomer parents are notoriously blase 0:02:16.200 --> 0:02:21.720 about safety and notorious. Yeah, it's like a stereotype of 0:02:21.880 --> 0:02:25.960 boomers just any older generation is like, we live through it, 0:02:26.160 --> 0:02:30.079 You'll be fine. A factory I fell down the factory 0:02:30.280 --> 0:02:32.880 that I am much more a boomer than you are. 0:02:33.960 --> 0:02:39.320 You're much more boomer in terms of safety. Well anyway, 0:02:39.320 --> 0:02:43.920 it's it's like an attitude that I feels. I feel 0:02:43.919 --> 0:02:45.639 like part of it genuinely comes from a time when 0:02:45.639 --> 0:02:47.799 people had like seven kids and they were like well, 0:02:47.840 --> 0:02:51.640 we're gonna lose one or two like you like. Anyway, 0:02:52.200 --> 0:02:55.160 the quote is going to say is someone said something 0:02:55.200 --> 0:02:59.239 about like our nephew like falling down the stairs or something. 0:02:59.280 --> 0:03:00.679 I don't know they were he was going to the 0:03:00.680 --> 0:03:03.000 stairs alone and someone made some comment and your dad 0:03:03.080 --> 0:03:05.720 was like, well, if you're going to fall down the 0:03:05.840 --> 0:03:10.359 stairs at any age, that's the age. And it's like, 0:03:11.520 --> 0:03:15.840 I guess true, but it's just like very harsh. He's 0:03:15.880 --> 0:03:20.440 all he's practically on the ground, being that short the 0:03:20.520 --> 0:03:24.080 fall is, you know. Yeah, and my dad is six 0:03:24.160 --> 0:03:26.800 four when he falls. You know, he's got a lifetime 0:03:27.080 --> 0:03:30.079 between tripping and hitting the ground. If anyone's gonna have 0:03:30.080 --> 0:03:34.000 a strong recovery, it's going to be a two year old. 0:03:34.760 --> 0:03:39.960 You all can fall down the stairs anyway. But um, 0:03:40.000 --> 0:03:42.960 it was a good holiday, and our kids we already 0:03:42.960 --> 0:03:46.080 talked about this, but yeah, our kids are huge. So 0:03:46.280 --> 0:03:50.280 the big change for me is I now say to them, 0:03:50.520 --> 0:03:52.520 go get your jammies on, or in the morning, I 0:03:52.560 --> 0:03:58.440 go get dressed, and they do it. But they also 0:03:58.560 --> 0:04:02.000 sort of both like space even really spaces out. This 0:04:02.040 --> 0:04:07.520 morning we were early to dropping to dropping Maven off 0:04:07.520 --> 0:04:12.720 at daycare in Britain school. Because I get out, I goes, all, right, 0:04:12.760 --> 0:04:15.080 what do you want for breakfast? What's cereal? And they 0:04:15.120 --> 0:04:16.960 picked and I go get dressed and you can have it. 0:04:17.000 --> 0:04:19.520 And I went out and I poured two bowls of 0:04:19.560 --> 0:04:22.280 cereal and I put them on the table and then 0:04:22.279 --> 0:04:23.720 I was like, I need to take your own shower. 0:04:23.920 --> 0:04:25.960 And then I turned around and there they were in 0:04:26.000 --> 0:04:30.360 their clothes. It's incredible what this takes. I'm like, this 0:04:30.400 --> 0:04:33.799 is supposed to take twenty five minutes of me wrestling 0:04:33.839 --> 0:04:36.320 you into the clothes. I do think that this week 0:04:36.360 --> 0:04:39.240 they're like kind of excited to be back in their routine, 0:04:39.320 --> 0:04:43.640 like they genuinely have started to actually in this school. 0:04:43.760 --> 0:04:46.320 I loved going back to school after a break. They 0:04:46.360 --> 0:04:48.200 all have so much to talk about. That's how I 0:04:48.200 --> 0:04:50.160 feel like, I must be so funny to hear what 0:04:50.200 --> 0:04:54.839 they say to each other. Oh, I have so many 0:04:54.880 --> 0:04:59.119 things to explain to people. Well, like it's like today 0:04:59.200 --> 0:05:01.680 when I'm so curious to hear how they say it 0:05:01.720 --> 0:05:05.680 out of context because today we we've talked to Bran 0:05:05.800 --> 0:05:08.880 about the rule of threes in comedy because he like, like, 0:05:09.600 --> 0:05:12.000 in comedy, if something happens three times it's funny, but 0:05:12.040 --> 0:05:15.159 sometimes Brat pushes it and he just repeats something ten 0:05:15.200 --> 0:05:17.960 thousand times, and we were like kind of trying to explain. 0:05:18.040 --> 0:05:20.919 He's like, always confused why he's not getting laughs, and 0:05:20.920 --> 0:05:24.200 it's like, because it's gonna laugh one second ago. So 0:05:24.240 --> 0:05:26.560 then he got onto this thing about the rule of 0:05:26.560 --> 0:05:29.480 a hundreds and that's when things are not funny anymore. Well, 0:05:29.520 --> 0:05:32.239 so what he said, I don't think you're there. He goes, 0:05:32.800 --> 0:05:34.200 he's told this joke over and over and we all 0:05:34.240 --> 0:05:37.120 stopped laughing and he noticed. So he's like, that's the 0:05:37.200 --> 0:05:40.080 rule of threes, right, daddy. After three, it's not funny anymore. 0:05:40.080 --> 0:05:41.920 That's why you're not laughing. And I was in my mind, 0:05:41.960 --> 0:05:46.279 I'm like, yes, that's very intuitive. Yes, he goes, that's 0:05:46.320 --> 0:05:50.000 the rule in Winnetka, the rule of three, which is 0:05:50.040 --> 0:05:52.760 where we are, we're for vacation. And then he goes, 0:05:53.200 --> 0:05:56.480 but here where we live, now that it's the rule 0:05:56.480 --> 0:05:59.640 of a hundred. Well, but this was secondary too in 0:05:59.680 --> 0:06:02.000 original conversation that I was trying to explain, which is 0:06:02.000 --> 0:06:05.440 that he's he learned about the rule of threes and 0:06:05.480 --> 0:06:13.359 how things feel less funny. So he yeah, he the 0:06:13.440 --> 0:06:17.359 rule of threes is actually a comedy rule and the 0:06:17.440 --> 0:06:21.279 rule and there are improv teachers. I think Billy Murritt 0:06:21.360 --> 0:06:24.160 used to say the rule of seven was that it 0:06:24.160 --> 0:06:26.160 would stop being funny after three, and then when he 0:06:26.200 --> 0:06:28.200 got back around to twenty seven, it would start getting 0:06:28.200 --> 0:06:31.160 funny again, which is pretty much the rule that Brian 0:06:31.279 --> 0:06:35.080 has now come up with, exactly that. The rule of 0:06:35.120 --> 0:06:38.520 three is after two everyone sees a pattern, and three 0:06:38.560 --> 0:06:41.640 confirms it. So at three everyone's like, got it, I 0:06:41.720 --> 0:06:42.960 got it, and then four it's like no, no, no no, 0:06:43.080 --> 0:06:46.560 I already got it. But then is the well can't 0:06:46.600 --> 0:06:48.760 just repeated over and over. Sorry, I'm trying to get 0:06:48.760 --> 0:06:54.160 to is that the brand has this rule. And then 0:06:54.200 --> 0:06:56.359 he was trying to explain it to Nick in a 0:06:56.480 --> 0:06:59.040 video today that we're going to send to Nick. But 0:06:59.080 --> 0:07:02.320 then Nick, an adult man, my comedy partner who understands 0:07:02.320 --> 0:07:05.120 comedy rules and so brands starts telling the story and 0:07:05.200 --> 0:07:09.280 just like starts the story in the strangest place, and 0:07:09.320 --> 0:07:12.880 it's like the rule the rule of one hundreds in 0:07:12.920 --> 0:07:15.760 our town is the It's just like he said, the 0:07:15.840 --> 0:07:17.440 rule of one hundred in our town is that you 0:07:17.480 --> 0:07:20.280 can tell any joke a thousand times. Yeah, it just 0:07:20.360 --> 0:07:23.800 didn't anyway. So that's sort of what my point was. 0:07:24.040 --> 0:07:27.800 I'm picturing him back at school, and he's like, I 0:07:27.840 --> 0:07:31.480 played in the puppet theater and I flew an airplane. Yeah, 0:07:31.560 --> 0:07:35.920 I flew in an airplane. I piloted an airplane. Um, 0:07:36.000 --> 0:07:39.160 I taught the world about how ears were because he's 0:07:39.160 --> 0:07:42.840 been saying some really weird lies lately. You've been watching 0:07:42.840 --> 0:07:45.400 a lot of storybots. So he learned how a lot 0:07:45.400 --> 0:07:48.200 of things work and only sort of gets it, and 0:07:48.240 --> 0:07:50.880 he loves to explain, and then he loves to change 0:07:50.880 --> 0:07:55.160 the story in the strangest way. Don't correct him. I'm 0:07:55.200 --> 0:07:58.160 teaching mayven days of the week this week. I realized 0:07:58.160 --> 0:08:00.280 that may even does not know the days of the week, 0:08:01.240 --> 0:08:05.880 which brand new when he was very young. Because I've 0:08:05.920 --> 0:08:10.080 spent all day quizzing him on things, and I've been 0:08:10.120 --> 0:08:14.680 ignoring my daughter. Or she's just interested in more interesting 0:08:14.720 --> 0:08:22.720 things like princesses. Jinna warns babies, more practical knowledge, like 0:08:22.720 --> 0:08:27.680 like sparkles and rainbows. She like. So she got this 0:08:27.960 --> 0:08:30.840 necklace making kit for Christmas, which she loved. She loved 0:08:30.880 --> 0:08:32.720 all of her girly things, and she got a doll 0:08:32.800 --> 0:08:35.360 from her cousin. That was her favorite thing ever. And 0:08:36.440 --> 0:08:38.560 she one of these necklaces was sitting out here and 0:08:38.640 --> 0:08:42.120 she was like this one broke a little bit, and 0:08:42.200 --> 0:08:45.000 like she's pointing at the beads and like noting. Like 0:08:45.600 --> 0:08:48.440 she's just in that really girly mode where she'll turn 0:08:48.559 --> 0:08:52.160 to you and be like it's not perfect, Like she 0:08:52.360 --> 0:08:57.480 just like wants everything to be like so beautiful. She's 0:08:58.080 --> 0:09:03.680 very particular like her mother, which has led to a 0:09:03.760 --> 0:09:07.480 gorgeous bathroom. I keep going over there at night when 0:09:07.559 --> 0:09:10.800 the workers are away, and I peek at the progress. Yeah, 0:09:11.000 --> 0:09:14.439 you like to sneak peeks, like the sneak peaks. I 0:09:15.520 --> 0:09:18.560 just like to sneak peaks in bathrooms. What I'm no 0:09:18.679 --> 0:09:22.400 creep um. The sink, the vanity, the toilet are in. 0:09:23.880 --> 0:09:27.839 It's good except for this one thing that our contractor 0:09:27.880 --> 0:09:31.880 improvised without consulting me. With the tiles. Well there, so 0:09:31.920 --> 0:09:35.640 there's like what they contractors referred to as shampoo boxes, 0:09:35.679 --> 0:09:37.960 which are these indians in the tiles in the shower 0:09:38.000 --> 0:09:40.720 where you can put your shampoo and stuff. And so 0:09:41.160 --> 0:09:45.240 the back of that, he decided on his own to 0:09:45.679 --> 0:09:48.680 do a totally different tile separate from the two tiles 0:09:48.679 --> 0:09:51.640 I picked out for the wall and floor, and he 0:09:51.840 --> 0:09:56.679 chose this very cheap, tacky looking tile to insert into 0:09:56.720 --> 0:09:58.679 the middle of all the subway tile, which is like 0:09:58.800 --> 0:10:01.000 it's like one of those sheets. It's like it's like 0:10:01.080 --> 0:10:06.719 every kitchen, Yeah, like fake colorful glass. And granted it's 0:10:06.920 --> 0:10:08.800 it's all like gray, so it's like it could be 0:10:08.840 --> 0:10:10.560 a lot worse. And it's going to be the shower 0:10:10.600 --> 0:10:12.480 behind the shower curtain, and no one's going to look 0:10:12.480 --> 0:10:15.079 in the shower and inspect my shampoo boxes. So at 0:10:15.120 --> 0:10:17.320 this point, I just want everyone to leave my bathroom 0:10:17.360 --> 0:10:18.680 and I want to move back into my home. So 0:10:18.760 --> 0:10:22.079 I'm not going to argue about it, but I'm just like, 0:10:22.280 --> 0:10:27.160 why why this? Why not the other tile that we 0:10:27.240 --> 0:10:30.200 have a whole other box of? Well, why not just 0:10:30.480 --> 0:10:34.199 the white subway tile that is? That's what I mean? Yeah, 0:10:34.559 --> 0:10:38.040 or why not ask us? Yeah, I gotta say they've 0:10:38.080 --> 0:10:41.000 done a very fine job. I think he thought. I 0:10:41.080 --> 0:10:43.040 genuinely think he thought he was doing me a favor. 0:10:43.480 --> 0:10:45.600 Like I think there's he has a lot of customers 0:10:45.640 --> 0:10:48.440 who are probably like, yeah, when they added in this 0:10:48.600 --> 0:10:51.800 fancy detail over here like that, I think that he 0:10:51.920 --> 0:10:54.760 was like, I'm going to add some visual interest. Yeah, 0:10:55.520 --> 0:11:00.280 he doesn't see it. He probably was like, this box 0:11:00.280 --> 0:11:05.000 of child costs five box versus two for the white 0:11:05.040 --> 0:11:10.520 subway tiles. So I'm gonna treat her, you know, like, well, 0:11:10.559 --> 0:11:13.080 it's an easier it's a much easier thing to install 0:11:13.600 --> 0:11:16.319 because it's one sheet and it's like a flexible sheet. 0:11:17.559 --> 0:11:19.679 You gotta cut those subway tiles and put it in 0:11:19.720 --> 0:11:25.600 an awkward spot. Yeah. But anyway, dang girl, you designed 0:11:25.679 --> 0:11:29.160 the hell out of that bathroom and it is Oh, 0:11:29.200 --> 0:11:32.160 we can't put it. We'll have to have a picture, 0:11:33.000 --> 0:11:35.720 not this week's episode. We'll have to do a pictures. 0:11:36.679 --> 0:11:40.199 I'll tell you what. My friend, whose husband is an architect, 0:11:40.320 --> 0:11:43.360 I was asking her sure, I was talking to her 0:11:43.360 --> 0:11:49.040 about this, and she recommended Cohler like sink fixtures and 0:11:50.120 --> 0:11:53.120 I'm really pleased with that aspect of this. Oh well, 0:11:53.120 --> 0:12:00.480 I could say they were the showerhead fixtures are gold. Yeah, 0:12:00.520 --> 0:12:02.199 I was a curveball. I didn't see that coming. You 0:12:02.240 --> 0:12:03.800 didn't see the gold coming. I mean I saw none 0:12:03.840 --> 0:12:05.720 of it coming because I was not part of the process, 0:12:06.600 --> 0:12:09.840 which I'm not complaining you. I trust you and you 0:12:09.920 --> 0:12:14.160 deliver Anyway, it looks great. We can't wait. I can't 0:12:14.200 --> 0:12:16.520 wait to have the an octional bathroom that doesn't leak 0:12:16.559 --> 0:12:20.120 into our downstairs neighbors and the toilet doesn't run all 0:12:20.120 --> 0:12:23.640 the time, and the door closed, the window sill isn't 0:12:23.720 --> 0:12:26.520 rotting away, and the door has a lock on it 0:12:26.760 --> 0:12:29.800 because we're fancy now. Also, the door is made out 0:12:29.840 --> 0:12:32.920 of solid wood, so you don't necessarily have to hear 0:12:32.920 --> 0:12:38.640 everyone's don't have to hear everyone's pub in our apartment 0:12:38.640 --> 0:12:43.719 where the echoes throughout. Um, we just used to call 0:12:43.760 --> 0:12:47.280 it the pp echo room. Anyway, we're moving up, moving 0:12:47.320 --> 0:12:49.720 on up, And can we talk about the tantrum that 0:12:49.760 --> 0:12:55.520 happened tonight? Is it interesting? Well? The thing that was 0:12:55.559 --> 0:12:58.680 interesting about it, So Maven's been having some big tantrums 0:12:58.720 --> 0:13:02.680 and I'm just she's hitting me, and so I have 0:13:02.800 --> 0:13:07.520 to hold her down gently carefully. Um. I try to 0:13:07.559 --> 0:13:11.200 keep my cool, but sometimes I don't. And I'm just remembering, oh, yeah, 0:13:11.280 --> 0:13:15.079 Brand went through this that phase where he would go 0:13:15.280 --> 0:13:17.719 crazy and you'd have to really pin him down and 0:13:18.440 --> 0:13:20.800 because he wasn't being safe and he was stomping and 0:13:20.880 --> 0:13:25.280 all this, and remember how hard it was. Yeah, she's 0:13:25.280 --> 0:13:28.760 not nearly this. She's not as strong as he is. 0:13:28.920 --> 0:13:31.360 And but he was. It's the same age that he 0:13:31.400 --> 0:13:33.760 was doing this. But tonight we went through one of 0:13:33.800 --> 0:13:36.680 them and she didn't have quite the fight in her 0:13:36.800 --> 0:13:39.640 that she did for the last couple, and that it 0:13:39.840 --> 0:13:42.520 ended with her. She gave up. And that is brand 0:13:42.520 --> 0:13:47.360 new and boys, it satisfying. I think we're past the 0:13:47.400 --> 0:13:51.720 worst of that. But she started screaming, you're hurting me, 0:13:52.559 --> 0:13:56.840 and I'm like, I'm not. My impulse would go like, 0:13:56.960 --> 0:14:00.200 I'm not hurting you. You can't engage at all. Canna 0:14:00.200 --> 0:14:02.680 engage to that because she's gonna scream it more. And 0:14:02.880 --> 0:14:05.080 we are to Airbnb, and and the woman who rents it, 0:14:05.679 --> 0:14:08.720 I think is in this building. She's got a little 0:14:08.720 --> 0:14:14.880 secret compartment somewhere, not a compartment apartment secret. She told 0:14:14.960 --> 0:14:18.000 us she's in an attached apartment on the property. I 0:14:18.080 --> 0:14:20.520 think she might be directly blows yeah she is anyway, 0:14:21.680 --> 0:14:28.880 daughter screaming. She's listening to this podcast right now. Um, 0:14:29.000 --> 0:14:45.720 you're welcome free content. This next segment is called would 0:14:45.760 --> 0:14:49.080 you knows? That's where you guys are listeners or us 0:14:49.240 --> 0:14:54.200 present parenting hypotheticals. Oh yeah, we gotta repeat writer in 0:14:54.280 --> 0:14:58.400 her for would you knows? This is from Nicola, who 0:14:58.440 --> 0:15:01.920 wrote do you're a member that would you know? Scenario 0:15:02.160 --> 0:15:09.520 about the the guy from that like still money or 0:15:09.520 --> 0:15:13.760 something from us and then years later run into a 0:15:13.800 --> 0:15:16.240 month playground and he acts like he doesn't know you. 0:15:17.200 --> 0:15:19.040 I got all those details wrong, but it was a 0:15:19.040 --> 0:15:24.800 good one anyway. Read this one. Hey guys, thank you 0:15:24.880 --> 0:15:27.080 for your trouble shooting with my previous would you know 0:15:27.200 --> 0:15:29.400 this question? It brought a smile to my face on 0:15:29.440 --> 0:15:32.040 a particularly tough day trying to juggle children, work, in 0:15:32.120 --> 0:15:35.560 life in general. Due to the feedback from the Graham 0:15:35.640 --> 0:15:38.800 slash Matthew scenario, which is the last one, I challenged 0:15:38.840 --> 0:15:41.400 myself to think of another descent. So here we go. 0:15:42.160 --> 0:15:45.840 It is the Christmas holidays and you are currently experiencing 0:15:45.840 --> 0:15:49.520 the common confusion of it's Tuesday today, right, it's Wednesday? 0:15:49.560 --> 0:15:52.440 Are you sure what happened to Tuesday? Along with the 0:15:52.480 --> 0:15:57.200 calendar amnesia, everyone's sleep schedules also messed up. Brandon Maven 0:15:57.240 --> 0:15:59.840 had started staying up late, and therefore you two are 0:15:59.880 --> 0:16:06.640 also staying up late and sleeping in to compensate. Excuse me, Peter, Sorry, 0:16:06.680 --> 0:16:10.560 I'm drinking a bubbly beer over here, Peter. One night, 0:16:10.600 --> 0:16:13.000 you wake up to hear Maven crying. At a glance 0:16:13.240 --> 0:16:17.760 of your phone, you predict you've only just fallen asleep. Groggily, 0:16:17.880 --> 0:16:20.440 you get out of bed to check on Maven. Once 0:16:20.480 --> 0:16:22.840 in the kid's room, you see Beth is already there, 0:16:22.880 --> 0:16:26.600 trying to console Maven, but nothing is working. Maven is 0:16:26.640 --> 0:16:29.120 pushing to sit up and break out of Beth's arms, 0:16:29.560 --> 0:16:31.600 but can't get out of her hold and continues to 0:16:31.600 --> 0:16:34.840 cry out in frustration. Upon hearing you walk in, Beth 0:16:34.920 --> 0:16:38.160 looks up at you and says, this isn't Maven. This 0:16:38.240 --> 0:16:41.400 must be an alien to you. Maven looks and sounds 0:16:41.400 --> 0:16:44.080 like herself, and you say so to Beth. She only 0:16:44.120 --> 0:16:47.840 shakes her head and repeats with some with stone cold sincerity, 0:16:47.880 --> 0:16:50.840 that the child she is holding is an alien. You 0:16:50.880 --> 0:16:54.040 need to call someone, she adds, this time with urgency. 0:16:54.200 --> 0:16:56.360 Take her into our room, get him out of here. 0:16:56.600 --> 0:17:00.400 I'll hold it until you get back. Peter. You're naturally 0:17:00.440 --> 0:17:03.720 confused as hell. You suspect that Beth is still half asleep, 0:17:03.760 --> 0:17:07.360 and maybe whatever she was dreaming is still running through 0:17:07.359 --> 0:17:10.199 her system. Maybe she was dreaming about people being addict 0:17:10.600 --> 0:17:13.720 abducted by shape shifting creatures from out of space. But 0:17:14.840 --> 0:17:18.399 what if she's not What if this isn't Maven. The 0:17:18.440 --> 0:17:21.560 possibility is extremely slim that your daughter has been replaced 0:17:21.560 --> 0:17:25.520 by a shape shifting extraterrestrial, But it's still a possibility. 0:17:25.680 --> 0:17:27.640 The more you try to reason with Beth, the more 0:17:27.680 --> 0:17:30.000 she digs her heels and she keeps a tight hold 0:17:30.040 --> 0:17:33.400 of your quote unquote daughter who's trying to break free. 0:17:33.480 --> 0:17:40.840 What do you do? Thanks, Keola, Wow, what do you do? 0:17:40.840 --> 0:17:44.000 Don't believe it? I just go back to sleep. This 0:17:44.080 --> 0:17:47.760 is so classic. It was so classic. Don't believe it. 0:17:47.840 --> 0:17:52.000 Just go back to sleep and let my hallucinating wife 0:17:52.000 --> 0:17:54.280 wrestle my daughter. I would not go back to sleep 0:17:54.359 --> 0:17:57.160 because I would be in great fear that my wife 0:17:57.200 --> 0:18:01.080 has lost her mind and that she's going to harm 0:18:01.200 --> 0:18:05.800 our child. So I would apply reason. I would let 0:18:05.920 --> 0:18:10.480 you know Beth that okay, okay, great, Well let's take 0:18:10.520 --> 0:18:13.320 a second. Let's figure this out to calm you down, 0:18:14.000 --> 0:18:15.920 make you feel like this alien is not going to 0:18:16.119 --> 0:18:20.119 hurt us. And I'd say, let's talk to it um 0:18:20.160 --> 0:18:23.080 and I try to get Mavin out of your arms. 0:18:23.720 --> 0:18:27.040 This could really make or break our relationship. Okay, great, 0:18:27.960 --> 0:18:30.800 I would show you that I was taking it seriously. 0:18:31.080 --> 0:18:33.160 I mean also, at first, I need to assess how 0:18:34.040 --> 0:18:37.159 crazed you are, if we can calm you down. It 0:18:37.200 --> 0:18:40.160 seems like we need a code word or something like 0:18:41.400 --> 0:18:43.879 where it can be like, I'm not losing my mind 0:18:44.000 --> 0:18:50.720 right now. This is an alien Like what, Beth are you? 0:18:51.080 --> 0:18:53.560 Have you read this email? Because I didn't read the 0:18:53.600 --> 0:18:57.560 ps to this email. You want to hear the ps 0:18:57.960 --> 0:19:02.159 ps once you have solved it. In our household, we 0:19:02.240 --> 0:19:05.000 have a code word that we use when one of 0:19:05.119 --> 0:19:07.600 us needs to take a step back from a situation 0:19:07.960 --> 0:19:11.720 because the other is getting frustrated, whether it's cleaning, fixing 0:19:11.760 --> 0:19:14.560 a broken drawer, or handling our daughter after only one 0:19:14.600 --> 0:19:16.720 hour of sleep and still in dream mode. It is 0:19:16.720 --> 0:19:19.000 coming handy at times, and I'm so grateful to have 0:19:19.080 --> 0:19:21.280 my husband to lean on. In the early days of 0:19:21.320 --> 0:19:23.920 being a mom, I used to dream of people hiding 0:19:24.240 --> 0:19:26.840 my daughter in pillow cases, so I'd wake up tearing 0:19:26.880 --> 0:19:30.000 the bed she's trying to apart, trying to find her. 0:19:30.680 --> 0:19:35.919 I can't believe you said that, because we're all in 0:19:35.960 --> 0:19:39.720 a simulation. Peter, Oh my gosh, I was programmed different. 0:19:40.600 --> 0:19:46.520 That's crazy code word. But in their scenario, the code 0:19:46.520 --> 0:19:51.040 word is sort of like wake up, like it snaps 0:19:51.040 --> 0:19:53.240 you back to reality. Well it sounds like no, I 0:19:53.280 --> 0:19:56.720 didn't actually process that. I was just too shocked that 0:19:56.800 --> 0:19:59.080 you also said code words. I mean, it is shocking. 0:19:59.200 --> 0:20:00.760 In our household, we have a cold word that we 0:20:00.880 --> 0:20:02.600 use when one of us needs to take a step 0:20:02.640 --> 0:20:06.840 back from a situation because the other is getting frustrated. Yeah, 0:20:06.880 --> 0:20:09.040 so when things are getting too intense and someone needs 0:20:09.080 --> 0:20:13.400 to be like reminded, So what I say the code 0:20:13.440 --> 0:20:15.920 word to you to be like you need to take 0:20:15.960 --> 0:20:19.840 a break, or do I say a code word? Because 0:20:19.840 --> 0:20:22.399 the person who's trying to calm the other person down 0:20:22.680 --> 0:20:30.800 says so I say, like, Bob, that's a flipper. It 0:20:30.840 --> 0:20:34.320 means it's like giving each other a time out that 0:20:34.400 --> 0:20:39.360 you've agreed upon. Well, I'm most I'm a little confused. 0:20:40.000 --> 0:20:44.040 I think time outs are good. I agree. That's something 0:20:44.119 --> 0:20:49.400 I have learned a little bit being with you, is that, 0:20:49.520 --> 0:20:51.800 like I feel a lot of things, I'm going to 0:20:51.880 --> 0:20:55.320 give myself a time out so that I can am 0:20:55.400 --> 0:20:59.240 capable of remembering what I'm saying now. Otherwise I'll say 0:20:59.280 --> 0:21:03.399 a whole lot of things I can't defend. Later, this 0:21:03.520 --> 0:21:08.200 Airbnb feels like we're in a time out. Yes, yes, 0:21:09.080 --> 0:21:14.520 that is completely true. I feel like my whole life 0:21:14.560 --> 0:21:16.920 is I'm i M gonna have a time Yeah. It's 0:21:17.040 --> 0:21:20.800 just such a weird. Yeah, anyway, I don't. I don't 0:21:20.800 --> 0:21:23.000 say time out with our kids, do we do? You 0:21:23.040 --> 0:21:26.760 say time out? I say alone time? I think you 0:21:26.800 --> 0:21:30.800 need some alone time. It feels less love of punishment, 0:21:32.200 --> 0:21:38.840 more meeting their needs. Sometimes you gotta cool down. Can 0:21:38.920 --> 0:21:43.399 you believe you said we need a code word? I can't. 0:21:43.440 --> 0:21:48.320 I've actually had so many insane synchronicities this week like 0:21:48.400 --> 0:21:53.760 you would not like it's like it's just like crazy. 0:21:53.760 --> 0:21:56.879 I was like sitting here trying to write something, and 0:21:56.920 --> 0:21:59.720 I haven't been so frustrated because like the kids keep 0:21:59.800 --> 0:22:03.080 entry up to me all week, and I was having 0:22:03.160 --> 0:22:06.359 sort of like a breakthrough realization of like just like 0:22:06.480 --> 0:22:11.120 forcing myself to like actually get something done. And as 0:22:11.160 --> 0:22:15.920 it was happening, this hawk and we're are Airbnb is 0:22:15.960 --> 0:22:19.119 on this golf course, and so this hawk flew down 0:22:19.440 --> 0:22:21.679 to the golf course and like caught an animal in 0:22:21.720 --> 0:22:24.919 its mouth, like right in front of me. As this 0:22:25.040 --> 0:22:28.720 was happening, and I was just like, what is happening? 0:22:29.200 --> 0:22:31.720 And like I had I've had so many moments in 0:22:31.760 --> 0:22:34.320 this Airbnb where I'll be thinking about something I want 0:22:34.320 --> 0:22:38.399 to do or buy or whatever and something and then 0:22:38.440 --> 0:22:43.480 I'll literally look up and be like, there's a painting 0:22:43.520 --> 0:22:46.040 of that thing on the wall right in front of me. 0:22:46.160 --> 0:22:50.399 Like I just have had so many, so many weird things. Anyway, 0:22:50.480 --> 0:22:52.960 that reminds me of the still the most insane things 0:22:52.960 --> 0:22:56.280 that's ever happened in my entire life. So I was 0:22:56.320 --> 0:22:59.879 in high school. I was getting ready for breakfast for school, 0:23:00.080 --> 0:23:03.760 was eating breakfast, Um, I was done, and I remember 0:23:03.960 --> 0:23:07.000 putting on my shoes at the breakfast table and I 0:23:07.119 --> 0:23:09.959 was tying my shoes. I finished tying them, and I 0:23:10.000 --> 0:23:12.879 looked up and in our backgyard there was a big pond, 0:23:13.280 --> 0:23:17.720 and across the pond it was a very big, weeping willow, 0:23:17.920 --> 0:23:22.600 beautiful giant tree right on the edge of the water. 0:23:23.280 --> 0:23:26.600 And I look up and I, for no reason, I 0:23:26.720 --> 0:23:31.359 decided to take a second to just actively think about 0:23:31.400 --> 0:23:35.199 this tree and appreciate it. My mind, really is an 0:23:35.240 --> 0:23:39.720 incredible tree. And just in that moment, the entire tree 0:23:40.320 --> 0:23:44.960 split into and fell into the pond. That's how they're 0:23:45.000 --> 0:23:52.280 reminding us. It's all fake. It was. It's not like 0:23:52.320 --> 0:23:55.280 it started cracking. It was loud, like the whole thing 0:23:55.480 --> 0:23:59.000 cracked and splashed and there were waves. It's not like 0:23:59.040 --> 0:24:01.440 I heard a noise and looked. I was looking at 0:24:01.480 --> 0:24:06.160 it and then it went I can die. Now we're 0:24:06.200 --> 0:24:09.640 in a game. I later read that this is common 0:24:10.080 --> 0:24:13.719 for weeping willows, especially close to the water, and this 0:24:13.760 --> 0:24:17.199 one was freakishly big. To following someone's staring at them, 0:24:17.240 --> 0:24:21.360 that's common. Yeah, they're very shy, so like, don't look 0:24:21.400 --> 0:24:28.760 at me. Um. So, I don't know what I learned 0:24:28.800 --> 0:24:35.920 from that. There's a pps in this email about half 0:24:35.960 --> 0:24:40.919