Speaker 1: Kind of would like to start a service where like
Speaker 1: retired basketball players can hold you like a baby. I
Speaker 1: asked that, I said, would you hold me like a baby?
Speaker 1: And like the embarned me. He was like, girl, you crazy,
Speaker 1: so damn silly.
Speaker 2: Got you get a special guest in the building. Emmy
Speaker 2: Award winning actors and comedian became the first black female comic.
Speaker 2: The host essaw please welcome Tiffany Haddish.
Speaker 1: I was like, where are you? We cannot see you.
Speaker 1: I need to see you. I missed you.
Speaker 2: Hey, everyone, I've got some huge news to share with you.
Speaker 2: In the last ninety days, seventy nine point four percent
Speaker 2: of our audience came from viewers and listeners that are
Speaker 2: not subscribed to this channel. There's research that shows that
Speaker 2: if you want to create a habit, make it easy
Speaker 2: to access. By hitting the subscribe button, you're creating a
Speaker 2: habit of learning how to be happier, healthier, and more healed.
Speaker 2: This would also mean the absolute world to me and
Speaker 2: help us make better, bigger, brighter content for you in
Speaker 2: the world. Subscribe right now the number one health and
Speaker 2: wellness podcast.
Speaker 1: Jay Sheety Jay Sheny.
Speaker 2: Hey, everyone, welcome back to On Purpose. Thank you so
Speaker 2: much for tuning in to become a happier, healthier and
Speaker 2: more healed, which is the focus of this show. Now.
Speaker 2: Today's guest is someone that I've wanted to have on
Speaker 2: for a long long time, and I'm so excited that
Speaker 2: she's finally in the studio. She's already brought so much joy, laughter,
Speaker 2: and enjoyment into this room just by her mere presence.
Speaker 2: Today's guest is none other than Tiffany Haddish and Emmy
Speaker 2: Grammy NAACP Image Award winner who's established herself as one
Speaker 2: of the most sought after comedic actresses and performers worldwide.
Speaker 2: Tiffany's a New York Times best selling author for her
Speaker 2: book The Last Black Unicorn, and a children's book author
Speaker 2: of Layla, The Last Black Unicorn. This book is coold.
Speaker 2: I curse you with joy. I want you to go
Speaker 2: and grab this book right now. It releases May seventh,
Speaker 2: and this is the book we're diving into today. Tiffany
Speaker 2: pours a heart out, she shares her story, she shares
Speaker 2: the incredible journey that she's been on, and she makes
Speaker 2: it funny and deeply fulfilling. I can't wait for you
Speaker 2: to read this book, Go and grab it right now.
Speaker 2: Welcome to the show, Tiffany. Hot is Tiffany, Thank you?
Speaker 1: And the cover is prithy.
Speaker 2: The cover is beautiful.
Speaker 1: It's beautiful. You can almost see all my ribs because
Speaker 1: I was sucking the man and that's where I wanted
Speaker 1: you to be able to see my heart. I was like,
Speaker 1: can y'all just show it like three more ribs right
Speaker 1: there and then maybe you have my heart beat out?
Speaker 1: And it was like, we're not, that's unhealthy.
Speaker 2: How long did it take to get that shot?
Speaker 1: Didn't take long at all. Took like all of maybe
Speaker 1: five minutes.
Speaker 2: Wow, that's imp I.
Speaker 1: Asked them if they could show my ribs more, yeah,
Speaker 1: just because I want to show. No, they didn't know.
Speaker 1: They did not, but I did sucking my breath and
Speaker 1: like flex flex, I learned how fleck fleck show chest
Speaker 1: muscles because I don't have much breast, which reflects the chess.
Speaker 2: Got it.
Speaker 1: It's a lot of pattern right there.
Speaker 2: I love it. I love it. It's brilliant. Tiffany. What
Speaker 2: is the best part about being Tiffany at.
Speaker 1: Ith The best part about being Tiffany it what's the
Speaker 1: best part about being me? Girl? I don't know. I
Speaker 1: have so much fun. I have a lot of fun.
Speaker 1: I can tell I carry a lot. But I'm built
Speaker 1: for it and I have a lot of fun doing it.
Speaker 1: Sometimes I complain about it, sometimes I whine, but I'm
Speaker 1: built for it and I enjoy it.
Speaker 2: When did you realize you were built for it?
Speaker 1: Probably when I was like twenty one, twenty two, because yeah,
Speaker 1: twenty two, I say, because at twenty one I was like,
Speaker 1: I don't want to be here on this planet no more.
Speaker 1: This sucks, like it feels like everybody's taking a pain
Speaker 1: out on me. Like, but what I realized is like, oh,
Speaker 1: I love to hear people laughing. Maybe they're bringing me
Speaker 1: their pain and taking that because I'm supposed to transmute
Speaker 1: that into laughter. I'm supposed to take that and flip
Speaker 1: it for them. And once I learn how to do
Speaker 1: that and perfect it, then the easier to be for me.
Speaker 1: And it is easier in relationships for me now. But
Speaker 1: when it comes to other things, it's a lot more difficult.
Speaker 1: Like cleaning my room. I am a hoarder. I think
Speaker 1: I'm an emotional hoarder, and it shows up and manifests
Speaker 1: in my bedroom.
Speaker 2: What kind of things do you hoard.
Speaker 1: Clothes kind of knickknacks? Gadgets? I love gadgets. I don't
Speaker 1: know why I bring the gadget to the bed, like
Speaker 1: it's gonna do something magical in the bed. And it's
Speaker 1: not even for the bed. It's probably for the kitchen.
Speaker 1: But I'm like, let me see how this gadget work.
Speaker 1: And I like experience. I'm big on experimenting, and I
Speaker 1: do a lot of it in my bedroom because that's
Speaker 1: my layer and I don't let people in my room,
Speaker 1: so like I got a microscope in there. It's like
Speaker 1: half laboratory, half office, half closet half with this all this.
Speaker 2: If I walk into the I'm not allowed. But if
Speaker 2: I was to walk into your bedroom, would I fall
Speaker 2: over and trip over and help myself.
Speaker 1: Over a basket of clothes? And then You'll be like
Speaker 1: what is that in the corner? You are you building something?
Speaker 1: Like it's what kind of electronics is that? And then
Speaker 1: like why is there clothes all over here? And then
Speaker 1: what's that on the bed? And are you making jewelry?
Speaker 1: Are you sorting a jewelry? Like what is going on?
Speaker 2: Wow?
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's a lot going on.
Speaker 2: I'm not gonna show you no picture.
Speaker 1: It's embarrassing. It's when I look at it, I'm like,
Speaker 1: geez tipping. Your brain is everywhere. That's what it feels
Speaker 1: like because I imagine that, like your bedroom is a
Speaker 1: reflection of your mind, because it's where I do spend
Speaker 1: most of my time in house, and like all the
Speaker 1: rest of the house is pretty clean. It might be
Speaker 1: some little boxes in the corner here by, like mail
Speaker 1: on the table, but I go through that, sort that
Speaker 1: out real quick. But the my room, I don't know.
Speaker 1: It's like I get to that when I feel like
Speaker 1: I'm gonna play with this right now. Let me see
Speaker 1: how these sea monkeys are doing in the corner over here.
Speaker 1: Let me see what doing like. I mean, no, it's
Speaker 1: some sea monkeys. Are those pets? I don't think those
Speaker 1: are pets. Now, that's that's an experiment. There's a there's
Speaker 1: a shrimp. But I mean my cat might come in occasionally,
Speaker 1: and if I get really like lonely or whatever, I'll
Speaker 1: bring the dog in, you know. And then the dog
Speaker 1: is like burrowing herself in my dirty clothes and I
Speaker 1: get her out of here because she likes to chew
Speaker 1: a crotch on my underwear. As my dirty underwears. I
Speaker 1: don't like it.
Speaker 2: And you like that chaos like you you like waking
Speaker 2: up to that sleeping and that that kind of cozy.
Speaker 1: I don't have a man. I don't have nobody else's
Speaker 1: mind the sort but my own. So when men do
Speaker 1: spend the night, I only let them sleep in the
Speaker 1: guest room.
Speaker 2: Got it.
Speaker 1: So because they're guests in my house, so you pay bills,
Speaker 1: you can't come up in the main room. And when
Speaker 1: they start paying my bills, then I guess that's when
Speaker 1: I'll clean up my room and make space for them.
Speaker 2: I'm a classic virgo, so everything for me has to
Speaker 2: be or organize like tidy. Everything has to be in
Speaker 2: its place, like I think. I can I walk into
Speaker 2: a room and I can spot the one thing that's
Speaker 2: like half a cent of meter off and I need
Speaker 2: to And.
Speaker 1: That would be the kind of guy I would like
Speaker 1: to date so that he can like clean up after
Speaker 1: me and stuff and bring them to and have adventure
Speaker 1: for him. I have some adventures for you, not too
Speaker 1: much drama. I'm not big on the drama, but I
Speaker 1: am big on adventure experiences. And then I'm but I'm messy.
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's cool. You don't have to be messy.
Speaker 1: But I'm not dirty. But it's like I get it.
Speaker 2: I get yeah, And I mean I saw that you
Speaker 2: said you've been celibate for the past six months? Is that?
Speaker 2: Is that true?
Speaker 1: I guess? Okay, okay, so.
Speaker 2: Is that true?
Speaker 1: I mean, does kissing count? No, I'm just not yeah, okay,
Speaker 1: I'm not being penetrated, that's for sure. No penetration.
Speaker 2: Is that an intentional choice? Was that something you were
Speaker 2: trying to work up to and practice or.
Speaker 1: Is it been six months? Though?
Speaker 2: I guess so the person who can tell.
Speaker 1: Us October does make it six months? Yeah, yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: because I don't just I just don't want to lay
Speaker 1: down with nobody, just anybody, you know. I just feel like, dang,
Speaker 1: I am the prize and these dudes got to qualify,
Speaker 1: like it. And when I think about like my track
Speaker 1: record of like who I lay down with, it takes
Speaker 1: like a year or so for me to even warm up.
Speaker 1: It's a line. It's a line of dudes. It's you know, hey, hey,
Speaker 1: I mean I love going to free dinners. I'll go
Speaker 1: on free dinner dates, you know, I mean not free
Speaker 1: dinner dates, but like, yeah, it's free for me, so yeah,
Speaker 1: but it do cost me money to get you know,
Speaker 1: cute and stuff and the gas in the car or whatever.
Speaker 2: But yeah, yeah, you know, I asked obviously when I
Speaker 2: lived as a monk, I'll celebrate for three years. So
Speaker 2: it was like it was a big, big, big commitment in.
Speaker 1: Mindy, it didn't make you feel like, ah.
Speaker 2: In the beginning, yes, really sure, for sure it was hard,
Speaker 2: but then I said it was yeah, it's time.
Speaker 1: Earlier, earlier, it feels easy. I don't know, I've been
Speaker 1: working out a lot, so I feel like I get
Speaker 1: my sexual like frustrations out in the workout. And then,
Speaker 1: like I said, gadgets.
Speaker 2: Did it take your while to raise your standards? Like?
Speaker 2: Where did this qualification, this language, this vocabulary you have
Speaker 2: right now around dating? Was that something that has come
Speaker 2: with time? Is that something that was always there that night?
Speaker 1: It was definitely not always there. Definitely if you read
Speaker 1: the book, you know that it was always there. I
Speaker 1: just feel like it's like, it's certain things that I
Speaker 1: want for myself and I want to share the success.
Speaker 1: And what I've learned is when you're like laying down
Speaker 1: with people, that's not really as ambitious as you are,
Speaker 1: or comfortable in their skin, or confident with who they are,
Speaker 1: or even just not even necessarily confident, just know who
Speaker 1: they are, it becomes a problem. And I think when
Speaker 1: you lay down with somebody, you are sharing your soul,
Speaker 1: you are sharing a piece of yourself. You're giving a
Speaker 1: little piece of yourself up. And I don't I think like,
Speaker 1: I only got so much soul left, and I don't
Speaker 1: want to necessarily just give it over to anybody, you know,
Speaker 1: I don't think. I don't know if the soul grows.
Speaker 1: I don't know if you can rejuvenate new soul like
Speaker 1: you do skin or hear, but it just feels like
Speaker 1: I don't want to subject myself to it. Also, now,
Speaker 1: once I let you inside my body, I gotta know
Speaker 1: you got to get then gotta learn you and all
Speaker 1: this stuff like and and so scientifically, okay, now we're
Speaker 1: gonna get into the science stuff some yeah, yeah, So
Speaker 1: I had did my scientific research. I was reading about
Speaker 1: how you know, once you let somebody ejaculate his sperm,
Speaker 1: right once, the uterus is very absorbent, so you absorb
Speaker 1: all of that into your bloodstream. Right, so now you
Speaker 1: like attracted to them, so like when the Bible says
Speaker 1: you will only desire your husband. This is part why
Speaker 1: because now he's like in your blood, like in like
Speaker 1: binding with your DNA. And if you get pregnant by
Speaker 1: this person, it takes like six months or so for
Speaker 1: them to get out of your DNA. And if you
Speaker 1: decide to have a baby or get pregnant by this person,
Speaker 1: those stem cells from that baby is in you forever,
Speaker 1: so they are forever a part of you. Do I
Speaker 1: forever want to be a part of somebody who's like
Speaker 1: mentally ill. Do I forever want this person to be
Speaker 1: like in my eyeballs, in my brain, in my look,
Speaker 1: in my heart the stem cells from them and what
Speaker 1: we like you know, could have potentially made Do I
Speaker 1: forever want that? And then I think about like like
Speaker 1: hose and why they be so crazy, And it's because
Speaker 1: it's too many personality, too much, that's I see. Anyway,
Speaker 1: that's my scientist.
Speaker 2: That's when ise ed monster class coming.
Speaker 1: Well, there's a smart there's a short sex ed portion
Speaker 1: in the book. You know, I think I would have
Speaker 1: been a great sex education teacher.
Speaker 2: That's what I'm thinking listening to you right now.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I think I would have been really good at that.
Speaker 2: I think we need to get a national program.
Speaker 1: Yeah, because I noticed, like females that I know that
Speaker 1: like are really emotional, like going like always the world
Speaker 1: is like in an uproar. And then if you find
Speaker 1: out like how many body, what's they body count? And
Speaker 1: like and especially if it's a higher body count, it's
Speaker 1: a lot of them probably didn't have no kind of
Speaker 1: one And then you probably you probably absorbed a lot
Speaker 1: of that stuff. And who's to say they didn't. They
Speaker 1: might have been pregnant, didn't realize they were pregnant. It's
Speaker 1: just thought, all, this is a hard period, but really
Speaker 1: they might have been having a miscarriage or it's just
Speaker 1: a pregnancy that didn't stick. Whatever, Like it's a it's
Speaker 1: a lot, it's a lot.
Speaker 2: It sounds like this has obviously been something that I know,
Speaker 2: we're laughing, but at the same time we're learning, Like
Speaker 2: this has been something you've been learning about, thinking about
Speaker 2: reflecting on. Especially when you dive into your book, as
Speaker 2: we were talking about earlier, you make everything sound really
Speaker 2: funny and there's this expression of the feeling, but then
Speaker 2: there's the deep pain and the stress that comes from it.
Speaker 2: Were there particular romantic experiences that were hard for you
Speaker 2: to get over. Was a lot of our audience is
Speaker 2: struggling with breakups, is struggling with missing their access, struggling
Speaker 2: with trying to move on and find the right person.
Speaker 2: What have you been through that you could share with
Speaker 2: those people that may.
Speaker 1: Yeah, okay, so I be real clear with you. I
Speaker 1: the people that I was missing, I probably shouldn't have
Speaker 1: been missing, right, Like the ones that like inflicted a
Speaker 1: lot of physical pain on me, the ones that afflicted
Speaker 1: emotional pain on me. I think I talked about one
Speaker 1: of them in this book. I talked about the excellent
Speaker 1: other book, but this book, Like, okay, so I had this, like,
Speaker 1: you know, Homie lovel friend for a long time, a long, long,
Speaker 1: long long time. He's very disrespectful to me, very kind
Speaker 1: of messed up to me. But in my mind we
Speaker 1: was we could get married. We had the most beautiful babies.
Speaker 1: He handsome, I'm pretty like it would be so cool.
Speaker 1: He's smart and intellectual. I'm kind of smart. I think
Speaker 1: like it would be fun. We have the best conversations,
Speaker 1: like we have fun. But then he would treat me
Speaker 1: like crap, right, so like and I would I would
Speaker 1: subject myself to that man and I would be like
Speaker 1: happy to be in his presence, but at the same time,
Speaker 1: when he's not, I'll be hurting so bad, hurting so
Speaker 1: bad like and feeding for him like a like kind
Speaker 1: of like I don't know what it's like to do
Speaker 1: like hard drugs, but I'm imagining that's the hard drug
Speaker 1: right there, the d that D like when we really
Speaker 1: like like that could be the hard drug and breaking
Speaker 1: myself from that and that would be like, Okay, what
Speaker 1: else do you love? What else do you care about?
Speaker 1: Put your energy into something else? I see now like
Speaker 1: all online like oh, Tiffany's feeding for She's still pining
Speaker 1: over this guy that she was dating, Like that was fun.
Speaker 1: That relationship was fun. Only thing I'm miss about the
Speaker 1: relationship is the fun. Everything else was like, eh, cool,
Speaker 1: But we had a lot of fun And people I
Speaker 1: have fun with. I miss all of them when I
Speaker 1: don't get to see them often when I don't talk
Speaker 1: to them, I miss all of them, even if they
Speaker 1: were about influence. I miss them all. But I'm not like,
Speaker 1: oh God, I gotta have the more talking mess about them,
Speaker 1: Like no, I genuinely love that person, wish them the best.
Speaker 1: I'm busy doing this now, they're busy doing that.
Speaker 2: Now.
Speaker 1: Cool. But was there a particular like, yeah, that want
Speaker 1: that homey loove of friend who was like on and
Speaker 1: off for like almost twenty years.
Speaker 2: Oh wow, twenty years.
Speaker 1: I can be loyal. I can be loyal with the
Speaker 1: homilove of friends. You know. It's like, oh, we're not
Speaker 1: we all, but we're not in a relationship. But in
Speaker 1: my mind I painted this, Yeah, we was married. I
Speaker 1: was cooking for him and doing all kind of stuff like, no,
Speaker 1: make sure his telephone stayed on so I could talk
Speaker 1: to him. Stupid stuff, stupid, just dumb, just dumb. Then
Speaker 1: like oh, I realized, okay, this is gonna go nowhere.
Speaker 1: So I'm gonna go with this guy that likes me,
Speaker 1: and then that don't like pan out because really I'm
Speaker 1: still feeling over this too. Then okay that didn't work out. No, no, no,
Speaker 1: I'm gonna get married. Somebody wanna marry me. I'm getting married.
Speaker 1: You don't want to marry me, like you's don't marry me.
Speaker 1: And then that didn't really head because I didn't want
Speaker 1: to get small, like yeah, I didn't want to be small.
Speaker 2: And then.
Speaker 1: Then it was just like free for all. You know
Speaker 1: what you're working with. What's up? Baby? You got as
Speaker 1: long as you got a good credit score? What's your
Speaker 1: credit score? Because that means you're gonna be responsible with
Speaker 1: my heart at least I think you are. I hope
Speaker 1: you are. And then but now I got a whole criteria.
Speaker 2: What did you find that people that are good good
Speaker 2: credit score? Did that have any correlation.
Speaker 1: With I feel like it had a lot to do
Speaker 1: with how they treat me. Good credit score, they're like
Speaker 1: more responsible they show up on sho I noticed that. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I saw that, like I would ask like, hey, do
Speaker 1: you know your credit score? First of all, I think
Speaker 1: that's something you should know because that's your grown up
Speaker 1: poor card. I just want to see how responsible they were,
Speaker 1: And most of them were very like I have yet
Speaker 1: to meet somebody with a pretty high credit score that
Speaker 1: wasn't like reliable.
Speaker 2: You didn't find that you met people who were arrogant or.
Speaker 1: Might be arrogant. They might have been like show, but
Speaker 1: but they were responsible. I want somebody be responsible with
Speaker 1: my heart, like it's I got a big heart, right,
Speaker 1: I got a lot of love to give, and I'm
Speaker 1: very forgiving and all that, but like, don't abuse it.
Speaker 1: It's been abused enough, and I don't want to have
Speaker 1: to like attack you. I don't want to have to
Speaker 1: like be vicious with you. That's all. Like I would say,
Speaker 1: the last like five relationships I've had, like I really
Speaker 1: respect those dudes because they were they were kind with
Speaker 1: my heart. You know, they for the best for what
Speaker 1: they could. You know, they were good with my heart.
Speaker 1: They didn't like get up where I'm just like f men,
Speaker 1: bring on the pussies. I'm gay now. I think I'm
Speaker 1: still like two or three heartbreaks away from that. Don't
Speaker 1: even think that's the thing though for me. I really
Speaker 1: think I'm a gay man. But that's that's neither here
Speaker 1: nor there.
Speaker 2: And what are you criteria? Now? You said, that's a
Speaker 2: lot of information to man.
Speaker 1: I think I was a man in my past, like
Speaker 1: you believe in past lives.
Speaker 2: Yeah, we were talking. I think we were messaging about this. Yeah.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I think I was a man in my past life,
Speaker 1: and I think I was a man that was kind
Speaker 1: of messed up. I think I was like maybe I
Speaker 1: had a really big penis, and I was a womanizer,
Speaker 1: and maybe I was bisexual. Maybe I hurt a lot
Speaker 1: of hearts and I felt like in this life, guy said, Okay,
Speaker 1: I'm gonna you know, you're gonna suffer something, but you're
Speaker 1: gonna win too. And I think that's why I got indometriosis.
Speaker 1: I can really understand the pain of a woman, and
Speaker 1: I understand the value of the heart.
Speaker 2: My wife jokes with me that she thinks we were
Speaker 2: married in our past life, but she was the guy
Speaker 2: and I was the guns. Like the trade off because
Speaker 2: I'm the romantic one. I'm the one writing her notes
Speaker 2: and messages and I want to do all the grand
Speaker 2: gestures and stuff. I'm the one interior designing our home
Speaker 2: and doing all of that stuff.
Speaker 1: And she doesn't know. Now, She's like, let's get money
Speaker 1: and go on the trip. Let's that's fun. Let's go
Speaker 1: do an adventure.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I like an adventure. But you were saying, you
Speaker 2: have criteria. Now what are the What are the criteria
Speaker 2: today different to.
Speaker 1: The Okay, So now that I'm older, I can't have
Speaker 1: that criteria like, oh, he can't have no kids because
Speaker 1: we're older now. So I expect, like, if he has kids, cool,
Speaker 1: but they need to be like grown eighteen or over. Uh,
Speaker 1: because I don't want to deal like with baby mama drama,
Speaker 1: and I feel like, you know, I'm gonna I like
Speaker 1: communicating like an adult. Also, it needs to have his
Speaker 1: own career or some sort of business. You know what
Speaker 1: I'm saying. He needs to have like an EI in number.
Speaker 1: I think that's really important. He knows how to need
Speaker 1: to know how to run something, because you know men,
Speaker 1: I think men like to have control and power over
Speaker 1: women and run and run women and want to be
Speaker 1: the leader. What can you how's your business? Does your
Speaker 1: business run well or do you have do you have
Speaker 1: long term employees? Do you like? Is that doing well?
Speaker 2: Like?
Speaker 1: Because because now I'm if I'm gonna give you access
Speaker 1: to me, I need to know that you know how
Speaker 1: to do that good credit score. Now I will forgive
Speaker 1: if maybe your credit score fell off for a minute
Speaker 1: because you had to go to the doctor, something happens,
Speaker 1: you know whatever. Okay, I might could forgive that, But
Speaker 1: then also I want you to be physically healthy and fit,
Speaker 1: So maybe you better be on top of your health
Speaker 1: because I'm trying my best with mine and I don't
Speaker 1: want to be changing nobody's diapers. That's grown if you
Speaker 1: have puper cares. I don't think I should be changing
Speaker 1: your diaper.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I find I find that to be the biggest one.
Speaker 2: Like I find so many people don't grow up to
Speaker 2: so much later in life. And I find so many
Speaker 2: of my friends, either with guys or girls or whoever
Speaker 2: may be, that feel young like they feel like they
Speaker 2: are the person's parent. Yeah, they're their partner's parent. And
Speaker 2: then I don't want that they're cooking for them, cleaning
Speaker 2: for them, taking care of all of this stuff. It's
Speaker 2: it's it's bizarre to me that we're still living in
Speaker 2: that time.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I don't want to feel like I'm your parent.
Speaker 1: I don't want to feel like I'm your doctor. But
Speaker 1: if you got like a colde or something, or you
Speaker 1: feeling like you got a little back pain, I love
Speaker 1: a rep back and and I come up with it
Speaker 1: lixies and stuff to make you feel better or whatever. Yeah,
Speaker 1: but you need to come already showing up pretty healthy.
Speaker 1: Like think of this like the military. Oh, these are lixis.
Speaker 1: You know, we got ginger, we got to them a rigg.
Speaker 1: You know, we got the little vitamins and nutrients you know,
Speaker 1: ola vera things for my garden. I grow this stuff. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I grow food like and also I needed God. It's
Speaker 1: not afraid to get a little dirty, you know, help
Speaker 1: me in the garden, Like, don't be afraid of bees
Speaker 1: and stuff, because I got bees and harvest.
Speaker 2: Do you have the food?
Speaker 1: Yeah, I got the whole suit, but I don't barely.
Speaker 1: I barely. I don't know why you call it has
Speaker 1: my city is what's the beekeeper suit? The bee keepers
Speaker 1: keep you from being stun But I also so most
Speaker 1: of the time I sit out there with no suit on.
Speaker 1: I just sit and talk to them, listen to them,
Speaker 1: like sing to the bees. One time, I don't know,
Speaker 1: I'll be sitting there counting like, oh, I got a
Speaker 1: hundred bees, Like they don't. They don't sit on me
Speaker 1: like that. They they be around me. I'll be singing,
Speaker 1: telling them stories, telling jokes, maybe complaining. I'm pretty sure
Speaker 1: my neighbors hear me. So maybe the neighbors feel like
Speaker 1: I'm like crazy talking to myself or talking on the
Speaker 1: phone or whatever. I know, I sing songs to them
Speaker 1: all the time. My favorite song is that I know
Speaker 1: the bees are probably like why she's singing this song
Speaker 1: to us? But I like, but if like, come in here,
Speaker 1: you sad upon my head, I will not harm you.
Speaker 1: I never need alarm you. I want to see your
Speaker 1: pretty weens, tiny, dainty, colorful things, orange and yellow, pretty fellow,
Speaker 1: And I changed the colors every time. Whoa, I sing that,
Speaker 1: and then I sing skinning Marinky dinky to the songs
Speaker 1: that make me happy.
Speaker 2: Wow.
Speaker 1: I sing to them mostly when I'm stressed out, I
Speaker 1: go sit out with the bees.
Speaker 2: So you when you're stressed out, you sing sing to
Speaker 2: the bees.
Speaker 1: Yeah, outdoors, yeah, set outdoors, lay in the grass next
Speaker 1: to them. Sometimes I just listen to them and imagine
Speaker 1: they telling me stories, and I'm just really listening to
Speaker 1: the hive buzz and it's they say that there's a
Speaker 1: the C tone or there's a tone in a bee
Speaker 1: hot that helps get rid of PTSD.
Speaker 2: I didn't know that.
Speaker 1: Wow, Yeah, that's that's what they say. When I was
Speaker 1: doing my research on bees, that was something like that,
Speaker 1: the noise of a hive helps with PTSD. So I
Speaker 1: like that noise.
Speaker 2: Wow, that's fascinating. And that you learned while you were
Speaker 2: getting the bees were afterwards.
Speaker 1: And once I got the bees, Yeah, once I got
Speaker 1: the bees, I learned that, you know. I was like, oh,
Speaker 1: I'm in a relationship now with thousands. Let's let's figure
Speaker 1: this out. There's a queen bee, I'm the I'm the
Speaker 1: master queen. Now I'm the friend of the bees. I
Speaker 1: feed them. I give them like you know, spiralina with
Speaker 1: some sugar water or some like chlorophyll with sugar water and.
Speaker 2: Stuff like you really to nature, like nature seems to be.
Speaker 1: I love nature. That's where I can like, you can
Speaker 1: go sit in a tree, like in the trees, but
Speaker 1: I do be in the tree. Sometimes you can go
Speaker 1: sit near the trees, in the trees and you could cry,
Speaker 1: and the trees are not gonna be like what's wrong
Speaker 1: with you? You know, if anything that like blow the
Speaker 1: leaves and like rub your shoulder or something.
Speaker 2: You know.
Speaker 1: Yeah, wow, in my mind, that's what I imagine. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I have a very vivid imagination.
Speaker 2: And has that always been like that since you were young?
Speaker 1: Always been like that?
Speaker 2: Do you have an imagine your friend growing up?
Speaker 1: Yes?
Speaker 2: I did.
Speaker 1: I had too.
Speaker 2: What were their names?
Speaker 1: Carbalita and uh Cracker. Cracker was a bird and I
Speaker 1: used to be like Cracker went to Polly and I
Speaker 1: would break Crackers up on my shoulders, and it was
Speaker 1: really the imaginary friends was to make real friends.
Speaker 2: I mean they were a coping mechanism for kids as well.
Speaker 1: For sure, coping mechanism I felt in my mind they
Speaker 1: listened to everything I said. I know exactly what they
Speaker 1: look like in my mind. I used to really rock
Speaker 1: them hard in junior high and uh. We used to
Speaker 1: be like cracker, what's that's the number seven? And they'd
Speaker 1: be like, Tiffany's being racist. I'm like, no, I'm not.
Speaker 1: I'm talking to my bird and Carbelita and Carbelita yeah,
Speaker 1: she's like a Puerto Rican mimmy.
Speaker 2: Yeah yeah, and it was her role.
Speaker 1: Her role was like to keep people away from me.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 1: So I'd be like, oh, you can't sit here, Carbulita
Speaker 1: sitting there, you can't sit right there, just her seed,
Speaker 1: you know. Carbeleta said that you're cute.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 1: She want to know if you want to share your
Speaker 1: coffee cake with her?
Speaker 2: Yeah. So she was that in between that go between
Speaker 2: them and it comes close.
Speaker 1: Yeah, And people would laugh. They'd be like, gro you're
Speaker 1: silly as here.
Speaker 2: It's fascinating, isn't it. I feel like the whole idea
Speaker 2: of imagine any friends. It's like if you thought about
Speaker 2: that when you were young, you'd laugh at it, but
Speaker 2: now when you look back, you're like, oh, wait, there
Speaker 2: was a role that that person played that I didn't
Speaker 2: have someone else playing in my life, so I created someone.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I would be like, my sister would be trying
Speaker 1: to play with me, like, you can't play carbon Leita says,
Speaker 1: she's doing this one, you can't do that, when Carbeleta
Speaker 1: didn't really, I just didn't want my sister to be
Speaker 1: doing it, but I didn't want to tell her. I
Speaker 1: don't want you to do it, so I said Carba
Speaker 1: Leeda didn't want her. Yeah, what it was really me,
Speaker 1: I really didn't want her.
Speaker 2: Do So you told us the best things about being
Speaker 2: Tiffany Haadish, Tiffany, what are the worst things about being
Speaker 2: Tiffany Headish?
Speaker 1: The worst thing about being Tiffany Haddish is Tiviny Hadis
Speaker 1: is always under attack and got to just let that happen.
Speaker 1: I guess, I guess that's just a part of being famous.
Speaker 1: But also I just feel like that's been my whole life.
Speaker 1: It's always somebody's been hating, somebody's talking mess somebody. But
Speaker 1: at least back in the nineteen hundreds, people did it
Speaker 1: to your face or if they talk behind your back.
Speaker 1: If somebody told you they was talking behind your back,
Speaker 1: then you went up to approach them and say you
Speaker 1: say this about me, they would either say yes or no.
Speaker 1: Like there would be like you know, accounting, You could
Speaker 1: hold someone accountable for what they were saying. Even if
Speaker 1: there was a reporter. You know, you could call up
Speaker 1: to the newspaper and say, I want to talk to
Speaker 1: this reporter, why you say this about me? And then
Speaker 1: they'll tell you why they said what they said. Right,
Speaker 1: But now it's like everybody say whatever they want and
Speaker 1: they think they can't be touched. But that's why I'm
Speaker 1: investing in technology. Well, yeah, allow me to be able
Speaker 1: to call them. Okay, why you feel like this?
Speaker 2: What did I do to you?
Speaker 1: Did I sleep with your man? And I don't know it?
Speaker 1: What's the issue with you? Why are you putting out
Speaker 1: such mean words? I mean, I think it's so crazy
Speaker 1: right now with social media, because I mean, suicide with
Speaker 1: teenagers right now is at all with children all time high,
Speaker 1: higher than it's ever been in the history of humans.
Speaker 1: Because they can read and they're seeing what people say
Speaker 1: like I work with a lot of foster youths and
Speaker 1: my kids they be telling me they want they don't
Speaker 1: want me to be famous no more because they don't
Speaker 1: like what people saying about me, and it makes them cry.
Speaker 1: It hurts them so while, and I'm like, don't worry.
Speaker 1: It doesn't bother me. I'm used to it. That's normal.
Speaker 1: It's normal. If I was if I didn't have people
Speaker 1: talking mess about me, then I wouldn't be doing good.
Speaker 1: I mean, do you believe in Jesus. If you believe
Speaker 1: in Jesus, everybody was talking mess about him too, and
Speaker 1: then look, you know, and look what happened. You know.
Speaker 1: They're like, I don't want you to be assassinated like Jesus.
Speaker 1: I don't want you to die. Like I'm not gonna die, Okay,
Speaker 1: I will die, but I'm to die that way. I'm
Speaker 1: pretty sure. I hope I die during sex, but I'm
Speaker 1: not gonna die in that way, I don't think. But
Speaker 1: you know, and I don't know, but like we can't
Speaker 1: fester on that and don't just block that person, just
Speaker 1: taking those negative words off your thing, like block those words.
Speaker 1: But I would love to be able to just call
Speaker 1: these people because what I've what I found is the
Speaker 1: people that behaving usually they really love me. They really
Speaker 1: they study me super hard. They spend hours and hours
Speaker 1: making videos and like just saying mean stuff and talking
Speaker 1: to But you spend hours of your life studying me.
Speaker 1: There's some love there, there's so you gotta really care
Speaker 1: about me to a certain sense. I'm honored, but it
Speaker 1: sucks because you're not brave enough to say it to
Speaker 1: my face that I'll run into a matter party and
Speaker 1: they be like, oh, can I get a picture, And
Speaker 1: I'm like, why, why do you want a picture with me?
Speaker 2: You?
Speaker 1: You did a horribly mean video about me?
Speaker 2: Oh you saw that?
Speaker 1: You saw? Yeah? I saw you put my name in
Speaker 1: the title. You don't think the algorithm is gonna shoot
Speaker 1: me things that got my name in it when Google
Speaker 1: first came out. Blame all of them when they first
Speaker 1: came out. What's the first thing you looked up? I
Speaker 1: looked up my name, and so the algorithm knows I
Speaker 1: care about me, so it's gonna send me the stuff
Speaker 1: about me. So you what's seeing? I see you, and
Speaker 1: I'm gonna tell you to your face because I'm not fake.
Speaker 1: I'm an actual human and I wish it was the
Speaker 1: nineteen hundreds where you could slap somebody for talking shit.
Speaker 1: But now you can't even slap nobody no more. They
Speaker 1: want to sue you or whatever, like punks.
Speaker 2: So that's that's that's that's the worst part.
Speaker 1: That's all right here because I really want to fight,
Speaker 1: but I can't. I can't. No, it's not a battle
Speaker 1: worth fighting, right, But on my period, I will use
Speaker 1: my my fake little page and I will chime in
Speaker 1: a little bit. Oh is it take it back to
Speaker 1: the yeah, fence to that's what they call it, right, fake,
Speaker 1: a fake instant, but it's not an instant. It's a
Speaker 1: it's a Twitter.
Speaker 2: It's a Twitter.
Speaker 1: Okay, sox X yeah, yeah, yeah, Sarah be going in Okay, yeah,
Speaker 1: how does that help? It feels good.
Speaker 2: It feels good.
Speaker 1: It's like a little release.
Speaker 2: And this is Sarah kind of like called Thelito who's
Speaker 2: like protecting Tiffany.
Speaker 1: Or no, Sarah's my middle name.
Speaker 2: It's me.
Speaker 1: It's me. But I would love to develop like an
Speaker 1: AI boyfriend that like protects me and like make him
Speaker 1: look really good and stuff, and he have the you know,
Speaker 1: Instagram count and just like program him to protect me
Speaker 1: and to like shut down people and like, yeah, but
Speaker 1: I found out. I hired a forensic tech guy, and
Speaker 1: I found out, like seventy five percent of the hate
Speaker 1: I get is bots, it's not even real people. And
Speaker 1: the other twenty five percent is people responding to the
Speaker 1: bots or making making videos because of what they read
Speaker 1: from the bots. Oh my god, not even real. A
Speaker 1: lot of these articles be AI articles, not even real articles.
Speaker 1: No way, Yeah it's my but that's how powerful my
Speaker 1: name is. Like that's at least that's what they make
Speaker 1: me think, Like my name is so dope, like they
Speaker 1: want those clicks, they want that, you know, like I
Speaker 1: did this, Like I got all these clicks now, all
Speaker 1: these followers because I talked about Tiffany like it's kind
Speaker 1: of dope. It's kind of dope. It's kind of dope,
Speaker 1: but key like hot words will bring in the bats.
Speaker 2: Yeah. Yeah, wow, I'm learning a lot from you today.
Speaker 1: Yeah yeah, you get hire sex said, it's like, yeah,
Speaker 1: I'm multi fasted.
Speaker 2: It's great, it's amazing. I love how curious your mind is.
Speaker 2: I've already learned about bees, Like it's fascinating, fascinating. I
Speaker 2: want to go backwards, Tiffany because I feel like one
Speaker 2: of the things you do in this book is you
Speaker 2: really let us into some of the the trauma, the challenges,
Speaker 2: the difficult experiences. And as I said to you before,
Speaker 2: what I find amazing about the way you communicate is
Speaker 2: that we feel what you felt, even if we've not
Speaker 2: been there. And I think the way you're writing this
Speaker 2: book is really powerful. Like you said earlier, you said,
Speaker 2: I think I'm smart. You're smart because the way you
Speaker 2: express yourself lands and resonates even if you just read
Speaker 2: one or two lines that just grab hold of you.
Speaker 2: And at the same time, you're making everyone love through
Speaker 2: the book too. But I want to kind of go
Speaker 2: backwards because you did have a really you've had you
Speaker 2: had many different challenging, traumatic relationships in your life. I
Speaker 2: want to start with your mother because she went through
Speaker 2: something horrific herself, which when I when I read about
Speaker 2: that was I can't even believe what she's had to
Speaker 2: go through. And then how it impact on you. I
Speaker 2: was gonna ask you, has that relationship ever had an
Speaker 2: opportunity to heal or improve? Like is better possible?
Speaker 1: Better and better every day, better and better every day
Speaker 1: because I have a better understanding you know I used
Speaker 1: to be really mad at her and really like upset
Speaker 1: with her, like just take your meds. Just just heal already,
Speaker 1: just be back to my mommy, my, like my everything.
Speaker 1: You know. I just think about this time when like
Speaker 1: I love that woman, I like really really really loved
Speaker 1: that woman, like like immensely, Like that's my first love.
Speaker 1: This woman fed me, clothed me, taught me. I loved
Speaker 1: this woman. And it's like she came back from that
Speaker 1: accident somebody else, not not the woman that I love.
Speaker 1: But that's her. That's her meat suit, that's her body,
Speaker 1: but that's not my mommy. And I get glimpses of her.
Speaker 1: And as time has gone by, and you know, I've
Speaker 1: I've used my money to like get her the best
Speaker 1: of the best and get her healthy and get her
Speaker 1: on track, and and get get my sister the education.
Speaker 1: My sister's helping me, like we help each other. We
Speaker 1: we are working as a team, right, And to see
Speaker 1: like the progress is like it's such a it's like okay,
Speaker 1: where it's money's a root of all evil. But if
Speaker 1: you know how to use it right, it's a tool.
Speaker 1: If you know how to use it right, you can
Speaker 1: to help like heal and get like glimpses of what was.
Speaker 1: And I remember when I was a little girl. I
Speaker 1: wanted to like just make her happy. That's all I
Speaker 1: want to do, make her happy. And she would work
Speaker 1: these graveyard hours at the post office. And I was
Speaker 1: like three, and I wanted to make her eggs because
Speaker 1: she would come in and make me eggs, right, And
Speaker 1: I used to always try to cook for her. Always
Speaker 1: I pull all the pots and pans and everything out,
Speaker 1: like I'm gonna cook for my mommy, and I'm gonna
Speaker 1: play music too, like or like waste all this food.
Speaker 1: I'll put oat me a wishes. Shear saw its large season,
Speaker 1: saw all this stuff in like she'd be like, no, no,
Speaker 1: stop messing around my stuff, and I get a spanking.
Speaker 1: There's one particular lady. I was determined to make her
Speaker 1: some eggs. So I did everything I saw her do
Speaker 1: the day before. So I got I got the eggs
Speaker 1: out the refrigerator. I did all the eggs, all the eggs.
Speaker 1: I didn't take the shelves off of them, put all
Speaker 1: the eggs in this temperware. I started all up. I
Speaker 1: put pepper, I put garlic, saw I put Larry season
Speaker 1: and saw start them all up, start a mall up,
Speaker 1: started all up. And then I turned on the fire
Speaker 1: on the stuff and I just put the tough word
Speaker 1: container on top of the fire, and I was stunting.
Speaker 1: I was like, why is it not doing what it's
Speaker 1: supposed to do? And then it's like plastic, it's like
Speaker 1: smoking and it's burning. And my mom comes in there
Speaker 1: and she had just got off work, right, so she's
Speaker 1: in the bathroom. Whatever. My mom comes in, what are
Speaker 1: you doing? She gives me a whooping, She turns, you know,
Speaker 1: turns off the fire, cleans that, gives me a spanking, says,
Speaker 1: you're not supposed to do this. You don't touch the stuff,
Speaker 1: you don't this. And I was just like, oh, try
Speaker 1: to make you, make you breakfast. And she stopped. And
Speaker 1: this is what I loved about my mommy. This is
Speaker 1: what she's the best mommy. She was the best, but
Speaker 1: I loved about her. She stopped right and she was like,
Speaker 1: I'm gonna teach you. If you gonna keep doing this,
Speaker 1: I gotta teach you how to do this. So we
Speaker 1: cleaned the stove and everything together. She got some wind,
Speaker 1: got some more ask I had that all the eggs.
Speaker 1: I had that all the eggs. She got more eggs
Speaker 1: and stuff. We went to the grocery store. She said,
Speaker 1: this how you buy the ass. This is how you this,
Speaker 1: this how you that. We get home, she's like, okay,
Speaker 1: I'm gonna show you how to make this. And she
Speaker 1: got another tupperware bow. She said, this is just for mixing, okay,
Speaker 1: and you use this and you do it dash like
Speaker 1: that and do the dash and I do the dash
Speaker 1: and she did you this, then the dash and I
Speaker 1: did the dash and then then a dash right and
Speaker 1: she's like stirring it up. She showed me how to
Speaker 1: stir it up. I stir it up. And she said, okay,
Speaker 1: when you see this skillet, there's a cast iron skill it.
Speaker 1: You put the eggs in here, always in the cast iron,
Speaker 1: and then you have to have butter tiff andy so
Speaker 1: the eggs can slide. And then she sure give me
Speaker 1: the butter and then she let me scoop the butter
Speaker 1: and put the butter in there. And she said, now
Speaker 1: you turn the fire on, but you don't turn it
Speaker 1: on super high. You turn it on medium because you
Speaker 1: don't want your eggs to burn. Okay. I'm like okay,
Speaker 1: it's I turned it on medium and then she's like,
Speaker 1: very good, very good, and I pour the eggs in there.
Speaker 1: And I poured it and she said pour it in slow.
Speaker 1: You don't got to pour it fast. Slow. And she said,
Speaker 1: now take your thing. You're spooning a spitch sturry, stirry.
Speaker 1: Just the scramble eggs. You're making scramble. I like scramble, scramble.
Speaker 1: I was so happy, so happy. Now I had got
Speaker 1: my I got my ass let. I almost burned down
Speaker 1: the house. And now she's teaching me how to do it.
Speaker 1: And we did it, and we ate the eggs together,
Speaker 1: and I just remember I was like in love with
Speaker 1: this woman for teaching me this. And then she's like,
Speaker 1: now you have to clean up when you cook, you
Speaker 1: gotta clean. So then it was then we cleaned the
Speaker 1: dishes together. And then after that I was her dish washer.
Speaker 1: I always washed the dishes whenever she cooked. I was
Speaker 1: in there trying to cook with her. I mean I
Speaker 1: was cutting up vegetables and stuff at three and four
Speaker 1: years old, like I was the sous chef. I was
Speaker 1: always like I wanted to be her best friend, helper
Speaker 1: everything like, and she taught me a lot, like every
Speaker 1: like a grocery shopping or that when my sisters was born.
Speaker 1: I'm changing diapers, I'm making bottles, I'm her best helper,
Speaker 1: I'm her everything. Like I loved her, I still love her.
Speaker 1: But I miss that mommy. I miss that mommy and
Speaker 1: i'm her helper now. But she liked to fight me,
Speaker 1: so yeah, be careful because I can't be shown up
Speaker 1: to work with a black eye because she's different now.
Speaker 1: I missed that mommy, though.
Speaker 2: I can't imagine how hard it is to know someone
Speaker 2: that intimately, that closely and then they're not that person
Speaker 2: because of a horrific accident that she had, so it's
Speaker 2: totally out of her control. And now not only do
Speaker 2: you have to get to know this new person you
Speaker 2: missed this person that you just so beautifully described, When
Speaker 2: did you start even letting yourself process that grief, because
Speaker 2: I can imagine it's just shocked.
Speaker 1: Processing that grief. I mean, I don't know. I think
Speaker 1: when my grandma passed, who's my first best friend, who
Speaker 1: I still miss terribly, I think that's when I think
Speaker 1: that's when I started really like, okay, like the last
Speaker 1: since she's been gone, it's been two years. I think
Speaker 1: it's been the hardest two years in my whole existence,
Speaker 1: because that was my shield, that was my like protector.
Speaker 1: I could tell her all my dreams, like and she
Speaker 1: would be like, well, if you want to do that,
Speaker 1: you better figure this out. You better feel like. She
Speaker 1: was like a good sounding boy for me. And that's
Speaker 1: my first best friend. And I don't even some days
Speaker 1: I don't even know how I get out the bed
Speaker 1: because I miss her so much. But then also I
Speaker 1: don't want to let her down, and she puts she
Speaker 1: install so much like no, don't give up, don't be
Speaker 1: a quitter, Like we know we're not quitters over here,
Speaker 1: so you can't quit. So figure it out. Even if
Speaker 1: you got half fast, do it half fast, do it,
Speaker 1: get it done. Figure it out. And so that's what
Speaker 1: I do. But I also had to like learn it,
Speaker 1: like I've been learning how to grieve, I've been learning
Speaker 1: how to sit in and and like some people tell me,
Speaker 1: I shouldn't make jokes out of everything, but that's how
Speaker 1: I process. And I think you use the same the
Speaker 1: same muscles, the muscles that you used to cry, same
Speaker 1: muscles you used to laugh. It hurts so much when
Speaker 1: you cry. I mean sometimes I cry so hard I
Speaker 1: throw up, and it is like even though that I
Speaker 1: could use the apps, but like I don't want I
Speaker 1: don't want that. I'd rather have the apps from laughing
Speaker 1: so hard. I'd rather like so, I'll get to a
Speaker 1: point where I'm like, oh, I miss my grandma, and
Speaker 1: I'll try to remember something. I'll click on something that's
Speaker 1: like in my brain, Like I'm clicking on like opening
Speaker 1: files up like in a library, remember those index where
Speaker 1: you have to Yeah, I'm like, okay, Oh, when we
Speaker 1: made us a sweet potato pie, and when we went
Speaker 1: to the fair together and left everybody behind, Oh, when
Speaker 1: we did like try to like click to the good memories,
Speaker 1: to the to the fun stuff, even there was a
Speaker 1: lot of hard stuff. But like, I mean, I still
Speaker 1: got her wigs. I'll be putting on her wigs sometimes
Speaker 1: and like I'm getting afraid because they're starting to lose
Speaker 1: her scent. But you know, I still is in the
Speaker 1: back of my memory is in there. It's in there,
Speaker 1: but like, yeah, and I've been grieving my mom. I
Speaker 1: guess I've been grieving her my whole life, my whole
Speaker 1: like teens and twenties and thirties and all that, but
Speaker 1: not not really focused on it so much as grieving
Speaker 1: because the flesh is still here, and I know she
Speaker 1: in there somewhere, and I could get little sometimes little
Speaker 1: like a little fix. She in her somewhere. That's why
Speaker 1: you wish I had. I wish I had magical powers.
Speaker 1: I could just Mommy's back. Oh my god, that would
Speaker 1: be crazy. Because she was super thirsty for knowledge too.
Speaker 1: She calls me sometimes. We got her cell phone and
Speaker 1: she been using it, but she keep on trying to
Speaker 1: buy stuff. So we got to be careful, like what,
Speaker 1: don't put no credit card on it, don't sign it
Speaker 1: to know nothing, because she wouldn't want to buy stuff.
Speaker 1: And she called me and say, I need to go
Speaker 1: to college. I'm trying to go to college. I need
Speaker 1: to go get certified in culinary arts. I'm gonna go
Speaker 1: get certified in dog rooming. I need to get certified
Speaker 1: in my demo Deluxe program. I'm like demo deluxe. She's like, yes, samples,
Speaker 1: food samples in marketing in grocery stores. I was like, well,
Speaker 1: I'm building a grocery store, so then you could just
Speaker 1: you know, do demos in the grocery store. You don't
Speaker 1: got to get certified. I got you. She's like, no, no,
Speaker 1: but I need to go to college. I need to
Speaker 1: I need to go to school. Okay, I have to
Speaker 1: go to school. And I'm like, okay, mama, but like,
Speaker 1: and that makes me excited that she wants to love
Speaker 1: that she wants to go to school. But then I'm
Speaker 1: like concerned. Do I let her go to school? Do
Speaker 1: I send her to this community college where she potentially
Speaker 1: might have an episode and fight somebody, or she might
Speaker 1: just start the class start talking, or she starts seeing
Speaker 1: things and start screaming at them, or you know, like
Speaker 1: do what I allowed this? And like, will I forgive
Speaker 1: her too much medication? And she like falls asleep in
Speaker 1: the class and she starts snoring super loud, and they
Speaker 1: put her out and then we can't find her. Do
Speaker 1: I hire an nurse to go to school with her?
Speaker 1: Do I like, Okay, you trying to go to school
Speaker 1: and you gotta go to school with my mama and
Speaker 1: y'all take the same classes. Do I pay for somebody
Speaker 1: else at school to go to school with my mama
Speaker 1: and protect my mom and make sure she don't eat
Speaker 1: too much candy and make sure she don't eat no
Speaker 1: junk food and stuff like because that when she eats
Speaker 1: junk food or processed foods, that sends her over the edge.
Speaker 1: And now she's like in another dimension. And am I
Speaker 1: blocking my mama from these dimensions? Because maybe her being
Speaker 1: in those other dimensions is really good material and I
Speaker 1: need to be sitting with her when she's talking to
Speaker 1: these people that I don't see, and maybe that's like
Speaker 1: something I could use for a movie or something I
Speaker 1: don't know. And maybe God gave her this this like
Speaker 1: brain injury to see over there, and maybe she really
Speaker 1: protected me. And I don't even know that I'm blocking
Speaker 1: my protection because I feel like my grandma was my
Speaker 1: shield and my protection, but now that's gone and I
Speaker 1: don't have to protect her no more. So I got
Speaker 1: to figure out who's protecting me his right now is
Speaker 1: just me and my prayers and think my sister, my sister,
Speaker 1: definitely we work well together. So and your faith, Oh,
Speaker 1: my faith is definitely protectar. Yeah that's what I saying
Speaker 1: my prayers. Yeah, like yeah, I mean God, is that
Speaker 1: that's my dad? I lost my actual biological physical father,
Speaker 1: But I feel like I've been my dad all this time.
Speaker 1: I've always believed in God, always had a relationship, been
Speaker 1: very mad at him a lot, but you know, it
Speaker 1: is what it is. Yeah, I still love him very much.
Speaker 2: Yeah. I mean, as I'm listening to you, it's it's
Speaker 2: so challenging to think that you have someone in front
Speaker 2: of you, well you know that the person you love
Speaker 2: is inside of them, and like you said, you get
Speaker 2: the glimpses. But then at the same time, like you said,
Speaker 2: it can get abusive, it can be violent, it can
Speaker 2: because of the brain injury. And then when you look
Speaker 2: at your relationship with your father and you go to
Speaker 2: in depth in the book, and I want people to
Speaker 2: read the book, but I believe your father left when
Speaker 2: you're like three or four, Yeah, and you always had
Speaker 2: this fixation of wanting to reconnect with him. And you
Speaker 2: talk about in the book, how like any back of
Speaker 2: the head you that looked like your father, like that daddy?
Speaker 2: Is that my dad?
Speaker 1: Are you my dad? Like you know that book? Are
Speaker 1: you my mother?
Speaker 2: Like?
Speaker 1: Are you my daddy? Are you my daddy?
Speaker 2: Like?
Speaker 1: So wanting a dad I needed. I needed that. Like
Speaker 1: I think if I would have had him, I probably
Speaker 1: I might not be who I am today. For sure,
Speaker 1: I wouldn't be who I am today, and that would
Speaker 1: be very just a tragedy. But maybe I wouldn't have
Speaker 1: slept with so many dudes. Maybe I wouldn't have been
Speaker 1: so like a thirsty for attention, or maybe I would
Speaker 1: have learned how to live with the man and been
Speaker 1: a better wife and been be a better girlfriend and
Speaker 1: understand men better. Like but I think like everything happens
Speaker 1: the way it's opposed to, even though like I wish
Speaker 1: there was some male that was there that I felt
Speaker 1: safe with, that could show me on a regular basis
Speaker 1: how to be around men, and not like how I
Speaker 1: learned how to be around men, which was like I
Speaker 1: was a tomboy and I was like, oh yeah, I
Speaker 1: could do that, like stupid, so too, you were figuring
Speaker 1: it out. I was figuring it out. But but how
Speaker 1: much time would I have saved?
Speaker 2: You know?
Speaker 1: And my dad probably would have felt so much less
Speaker 1: guilt had he been around, you know, But my mom
Speaker 1: was threatening to put him in jail, say get him
Speaker 1: deported or whatever. So I get it. I get it.
Speaker 1: You ain't want to go back to the war, I
Speaker 1: get it.
Speaker 2: But you were able to reconnect with them. Yeah, from
Speaker 2: when you read about that, you're like wow, because you
Speaker 2: think most people would have resentment and bitterness and have
Speaker 2: this like angst against this person, but actually you were
Speaker 2: just like this is amazing.
Speaker 1: Yeah, well see I wanted to have that. I thought.
Speaker 1: I thought that's what I would have. I thought I
Speaker 1: would kick him in the balls and be like, why'd
Speaker 1: you even have sex with my mama and make me
Speaker 1: and leave me behind? Like I thought I would be
Speaker 1: like so mean to him and mad with him. But
Speaker 1: that's not what my soul was feeling. My soul was
Speaker 1: feeling like, Okay, this is our new adventure. This is amazing, Like, oh,
Speaker 1: he's way handsomer than mama said. He's actually voy kinder
Speaker 1: than what she said. He's actually this like like everything
Speaker 1: that I was told was like the opposite. And then
Speaker 1: like everything my grandma told me was kind of like
Speaker 1: right on point, which I should have been listening to her.
Speaker 1: She was my best friend. I should have listened to
Speaker 1: her from the first. But you know, the love my
Speaker 1: life is telling me these things, so I'm believing what
Speaker 1: she said and like to be in his presence was
Speaker 1: like the little girl, the three year old in me
Speaker 1: was so happy, and I was kind of upset that
Speaker 1: I was too big for him to pick up, Like
Speaker 1: I wanted him to pick me up and hold me
Speaker 1: and put put me on his hip. And I still
Speaker 1: kind of got this affixation with that where like I
Speaker 1: kind of would like to start a service where like
Speaker 1: retired basketball players can hold you like a baby.
Speaker 2: That's amazing.
Speaker 1: You pay them like three hundred dollars an hour and
Speaker 1: they just hold you like a baby and tell you
Speaker 1: it's gonna be okay and pat you on the back
Speaker 1: and burp you. Why hadn't nobody burps you anymore? I
Speaker 1: want somebody that.
Speaker 2: Burnt meious, I've just got this vision of like shock.
Speaker 1: I asked Shashack said, girl, crazy, you actually lost it?
Speaker 1: I asked him. He was like, girl, what did you ask?
Speaker 1: I said, would you hold me like a baby and
Speaker 1: like then burnt me? And he was like, girl, you crazy?
Speaker 1: You so damn silly?
Speaker 2: Have you asked any other plans?
Speaker 1: I have mentioned it and they just laugh. I think
Speaker 1: they think I'm joking, but I'm dead serious. I don't
Speaker 1: even laugh when I say it. I'm like, would you
Speaker 1: hold me like a baby and then like put me
Speaker 1: off your should and burnt me and then like maybe
Speaker 1: hold me on your hip like this and just tell
Speaker 1: me it's gonna be okay, that everything's gonna be all right?
Speaker 1: Would you do that for me? And they'd be like,
Speaker 1: are you crazy? Sure? You stupid? His here girl, you
Speaker 1: hear Tiffany and this a comedian right here, it's.
Speaker 2: A real request, though, I can hear what you're saying,
Speaker 2: Like there's we all what this feeling of being embraced
Speaker 2: and being like just feeling like nothing else matters and
Speaker 2: that everything's taken care of and there's just safety. Yeah,
Speaker 2: we're all craving.
Speaker 1: That's like when I see my mom now, like like
Speaker 1: I see her all the time, but but it's like, right,
Speaker 1: I could tell when my cycle coming right before because
Speaker 1: I see her and I just want her to hold me,
Speaker 1: so I just hug her super tight. She'd be like,
Speaker 1: get off, all right, that's a laugh, and I'm like, no,
Speaker 1: Mamy wante me. She's like that's enough, that's enough. Clearly
Speaker 1: my love language is touched. Right. So then another time
Speaker 1: she was sitting on the couch in my house watching
Speaker 1: TV and she's just like this TV is so big,
Speaker 1: and I felt so proud of myself that she said,
Speaker 1: my TV is so big. So then I sat down
Speaker 1: next to her and then I just tried to like
Speaker 1: crawl up in her lap. I tried to like get
Speaker 1: in her lap, and she's like, great, too big, Get off,
Speaker 1: Get off me, And I'm just like I want her
Speaker 1: to hold me in her lap like she used to
Speaker 1: when I was a baby. When I was little, I said,
Speaker 1: sit in her lap and watch TV. Lean on her
Speaker 1: like this, you know, we watch TV. Together. But I'm
Speaker 1: too big now, I'm too damn biga.
Speaker 2: Walk me through that phone call with your dad when
Speaker 2: it comes out of nowhere, because you're so much How
Speaker 2: old are you even that?
Speaker 1: Get twenty six to be?
Speaker 2: So we do my three four to twenty six, twenty seven.
Speaker 2: It's like walk me through.
Speaker 1: Okay. So I talked to this man that's had some facility,
Speaker 1: say he knows my dad whatever, and he's gonna give
Speaker 1: my dad the number and out of seven, I said, okay. Cool.
Speaker 1: Then like days go by and then I get the
Speaker 1: car and it's like, hello, is this differenty? You know,
Speaker 1: like I knew, like my whole soul knew instantly who
Speaker 1: he was. Like it's like DNA, like recognition or something
Speaker 1: like the little girl and me lit up like like
Speaker 1: I was like laying on the couch sleeping. It's like Daddy,
Speaker 1: you know. It's like, Daddy, is that you? And I
Speaker 1: was like yes, he was like this is diyat your father.
Speaker 1: I'm like, Daddy, where are you bed?
Speaker 2: Where you been?
Speaker 1: Are you sure you're my dad?
Speaker 2: How do you know?
Speaker 1: Wait? Are you sure you're my dad?
Speaker 2: Like?
Speaker 1: And I was asking him questions about family members. He
Speaker 1: knew stuff that nobody else would know except like him
Speaker 1: and my mama would know. And I was like, where
Speaker 1: are you? When can I see you? I need to
Speaker 1: see you.
Speaker 2: I miss you?
Speaker 1: Where are you being while you ain't come and get me? Like,
Speaker 1: I just him to keep talking that voice. Man, I can't.
Speaker 1: I'm not very good at impersonating it. But I got
Speaker 1: like a lot of voicemails. I always ask him like
Speaker 1: if I do answer, please leave me a voice message.
Speaker 1: I got his voice messages and I'd be listening to
Speaker 1: him make me feel better, like I miss him. I
Speaker 1: was missing him, like I barely knew him, and I
Speaker 1: was missing him right, so like I be loving people
Speaker 1: too much, I think, but I knew it was him immediately.
Speaker 1: I wanted to see him immediately, or set up a
Speaker 1: time for me to go and visit him, to drive
Speaker 1: up to Virginia. Went up to Virginia and I went
Speaker 1: to see him. As soon as I saw him as
Speaker 1: like my whole soul rejoice, so happy. He's very handsome.
Speaker 1: I'm glad I met him like in that way instead
Speaker 1: of like in some nightclub or something, cause I probably
Speaker 1: would have tried to hit on him or something. I
Speaker 1: thought he was beautiful. And we just talked and talked
Speaker 1: and talked, and I was just like trying to crawl
Speaker 1: in his lap. But I'm bigger than him, bigger than him.
Speaker 1: I was trying to get him to hold me charl
Speaker 1: to spend as much time with him as I could,
Speaker 1: and like he was feeling a lot of guilt. He's like,
Speaker 1: I should have been there for this. I should have
Speaker 1: been there for that. And I'm like, yeah, you should have,
Speaker 1: but you here now, like we got this now, like
Speaker 1: and just getting to know him, and I was asking
Speaker 1: him all these questions like is it true that I'm Jewish?
Speaker 1: My grandma always say this, this is true. He goes, yes,
Speaker 1: this is true, but this and this and this and
Speaker 1: this is what happened. And I had to leave and
Speaker 1: I had to this and and I'm just like wow,
Speaker 1: like asking him something question, what was it like for
Speaker 1: you when you was a little boy? Did you use
Speaker 1: toilet in the hole? Did you use toilet in the toilet?
Speaker 1: Like did you have like what did you have? And
Speaker 1: he was like, yeah, we had money, we had a toilet,
Speaker 1: I went, I had Italian clothes, I had this, I got,
Speaker 1: I learned German, I learned this language. I know this,
Speaker 1: I know that, like eight languages. Like I just constantly,
Speaker 1: like I feel like I was interrogating him all the time.
Speaker 1: And then he came to California and then I would
Speaker 1: take him to go see my mom. But then I
Speaker 1: would like snap at him and stuff, cause it would
Speaker 1: be they slip part of me. That's like, damn doing
Speaker 1: all this shiit for you ain't gonna do something for me.
Speaker 1: But like then I had to check myself, like, hey,
Speaker 1: he gave us life, like be nice. But sometimes I
Speaker 1: would be mad, especially like and he would get he
Speaker 1: would get the business if I drank. Sometimes I would
Speaker 1: get like really like lit and remorseful. Then I would
Speaker 1: call him and I'd just cuss him out. I just
Speaker 1: give him on. I'm like, I wash because you wasn't there.
Speaker 1: I was this because you didn't show it.
Speaker 2: You didn't teach me you did. He did hear that?
Speaker 1: Yeah, he did hear it. He heard it from the
Speaker 1: drunk side of me here and.
Speaker 2: When you were you funny when you were drunk like
Speaker 2: that or no, that was like intent.
Speaker 1: God, no, I was intent. I was sitting on the porch.
Speaker 1: I was like, I married this man. I shouldn't have
Speaker 1: married this man. I was like, yeah, I was at
Speaker 1: home drinking mad, so on my nerves, I'm like, what
Speaker 1: did I do? I ruined my life? Like this isn't
Speaker 1: who I'm supposed to be with. But clearly I was
Speaker 1: supposed to be there because I needed to learn some things.
Speaker 1: And I learned a lot from that relationship, and I'm
Speaker 1: grateful for that relationship, but I would never go back.
Speaker 1: I remember sitting on the porch just crying to my
Speaker 1: daddy about how like I'm made all these bad decisions
Speaker 1: and bad choices because I didn't have my daddy to
Speaker 1: guide me, and I need it. I need my dad,
Speaker 1: I need I needed you, like and he's like, I
Speaker 1: would get the place with you don't have to be
Speaker 1: with them. I will get a place, and you got
Speaker 1: your own room and you got your all this. And
Speaker 1: he never did do that. He never got to that
Speaker 1: level because he wasn't mentally art where he needed to
Speaker 1: be like he was. And that man witnessed a war
Speaker 1: and then came here and witnessed a whole bunch of
Speaker 1: other horrible things that like I could only imagine. And
Speaker 1: then the guilt that he was feeling for like abandoning
Speaker 1: his country and you know, abandoning his daughter doing not
Speaker 1: like he's feeling super duper guilty. And he's learned learning
Speaker 1: how to grieve too. His mother died, his daddy died,
Speaker 1: his brothers are all dead. All he got his aunties,
Speaker 1: and they you know, if they're anything, if if they
Speaker 1: were doing to him anything like what they do to me. Uh,
Speaker 1: and they probably did it to him more sh I
Speaker 1: just you know, I pray for him. I pray for
Speaker 1: his soul. I feel like, oh, man, gotta feel horrible.
Speaker 1: You I probably felt like shit on a daily basis,
Speaker 1: so I really And then the next day I apologize
Speaker 1: so tough to him because going off on him like that,
Speaker 1: and I'm like I should have never did that. He's like, no,
Speaker 1: it's okay. You know my friends, my friends always like, well,
Speaker 1: how was your daughter so nice to you? And you
Speaker 1: didn't even raise or I raised my daughters. And my
Speaker 1: daughter's so mean to me and evil to me, and
Speaker 1: your daughter's nice and kind to you and loves you
Speaker 1: like my daughter. Maybe I shouldn't have been there for
Speaker 1: my daughter. Maybe she would be nice to me, because
Speaker 1: my daughter's mean to me. And then when I was
Speaker 1: mean to him, he's like telling all this friend, she's
Speaker 1: mean to me, she cuts me out, she was mean
Speaker 1: and me God like he could fit in with his
Speaker 1: group of friends or whatever. But he's like, it's okay.
Speaker 1: You gotta express yourself. You gotta let that out, express yourself.
Speaker 1: And I'm like, no, but it's wrong, because I really
Speaker 1: do love you. I really do appreciate you giving me life,
Speaker 1: even though I hate this life a lot of days,
Speaker 1: like a lot of days I hate even Like, man,
Speaker 1: why couldn't I have just been a tree, Like could
Speaker 1: just stay in one place and watch the world change
Speaker 1: around me, Like, but then trees get abused to.
Speaker 2: Yeah, for sure, for sure, there's there's there's a great Yeah,
Speaker 2: I mean trees live through a lot, and they've seen
Speaker 2: a lot, and they've been through.
Speaker 1: And they lived through a lot of abuse.
Speaker 2: Yeah for sure. But there's so much in what you're
Speaker 2: saying that I think resonates so deeply with me. This
Speaker 2: curiosity and context around how our parents became who they
Speaker 2: were is so huge, Like to actually have context of
Speaker 2: how your dad became your dad, how your mom became
Speaker 2: your mom. This isn't a matter of whose fault is it.
Speaker 2: It's your your fault. It's a count, it's not that
Speaker 2: it's let's understand people's stories.
Speaker 1: Yeah, So I don't feel like that it's your fault.
Speaker 1: Yeah that it's not my fault. It's not your fault.
Speaker 1: You had these experiences, and I think I like to
Speaker 1: imagine that there's a contract that you signed with God
Speaker 1: before you got here that says this is the stuff
Speaker 1: you're gonna go through so you can accomplish these things.
Speaker 1: And maybe their job was just to make me. Maybe
Speaker 1: their their job was to you know, be in certain
Speaker 1: people's lives and find this thing and to activate this
Speaker 1: person for that and activate this person for this. Maybe
Speaker 1: that was their job. Maybe that that's the contract they signed.
Speaker 1: And I hope my mom has like a whole bunch
Speaker 1: more stuff to do, uh and lives a lot longer.
Speaker 1: And I hope I do get her into college and
Speaker 1: like she doesn't fight the teachers or anything like that.
Speaker 1: Like I hope that it turns out great and she
Speaker 1: does get her certification and calling their yards and she's
Speaker 1: able to cook and do whatever it is she wants
Speaker 1: to do. Like whatever her dream is, I want her
Speaker 1: to have her dream, and I want to I would
Speaker 1: love to facilitate it. But also I want to protect
Speaker 1: the safety of other years at the same time and
Speaker 1: the you know, the mental sanity of others because school, Yeah,
Speaker 1: maybe it's set up a part. Maybe I have professors
Speaker 1: come to teach her, but she wants to go. Yeah,
Speaker 1: so maybe I set it up like you know, hire
Speaker 1: some actors and you know, you know, like she's at school,
Speaker 1: you at school, and then maybe they are a psychologists,
Speaker 1: like you know, maybe maybe she's work studying. Maybe she's
Speaker 1: a study. Maybe it's a study program where there's a
Speaker 1: therapists in the room, but they study in culinary arts
Speaker 1: and they see how someone with this type of damage
Speaker 1: in their brain operates in this type of environment. You know,
Speaker 1: what I should make some money off of it. Maybe
Speaker 1: that could contribute to the generation of wealth. I'm trying
Speaker 1: to create this.
Speaker 2: Family, did you always you know? Honestly, I think when
Speaker 2: people read this book, they're going to laugh as I'm
Speaker 2: laughing right now, and they're also going to feel. And
Speaker 2: I'm not just saying this is flattering. I'm not just
Speaker 2: saying it because you're here, right, I really do mean this.
Speaker 2: It's very rare to meet someone who's been through as
Speaker 2: much as you have and hear it in a processed,
Speaker 2: thoughtful way. Yes, it's hilarious, but it's also processed. Was
Speaker 2: what else apart from comedy was your therapy? Like? What
Speaker 2: else has been part of this healing journey? To help
Speaker 2: process the actual therapy?
Speaker 1: Therapy? Yeah, I was like ordered by the course to
Speaker 1: go to therapy eventually, and like, uh, that helped a lot. Man.
Speaker 1: Some therapists were really good and some were like horrible,
Speaker 1: And I felt like I was like sitting in a
Speaker 1: therapist's office just doing stand up for them because they're
Speaker 1: giggling and laughing and stuff, and I'm like, heal me,
Speaker 1: heal me, like get the pain away, like give me
Speaker 1: where I can like function, and they would make suggestions,
Speaker 1: and those suggestions actually like did make a difference. That
Speaker 1: one therapist that said, like, get back to doing stand
Speaker 1: up as a hobby, just do it as a hobby,
Speaker 1: and that turned into a full blown living And I appreciate,
Speaker 1: appreciate her for saying that. But like actual therapy, actually
Speaker 1: reading books, like actually like reading different books about like
Speaker 1: self care, like self care stuff, and maybe they'd be like,
Speaker 1: you read this three hundred page book, and it'd be
Speaker 1: like one thing in it that I could tell with
Speaker 1: me man Louise Hayes. I love me some Louise Hayes.
Speaker 1: That lady, if she was still alive, I remember when
Speaker 1: she died, I cried for it. If she was still alive,
Speaker 1: I kiss I kiss her right on her third eye
Speaker 1: and say thank you, kiss her right on her third eye. Yeah,
Speaker 1: because that like her her. Like mantras the you Can
Speaker 1: Heal your Body book, like even though I don't know
Speaker 1: if those those are mantras really help, I do them anyways,
Speaker 1: you know, just distract my mind from whatever that's going on.
Speaker 1: I don't think the one for indometriosis works. I think
Speaker 1: you gotta we gotta rewrite that one. But but but
Speaker 1: I mean just just those things like the self care,
Speaker 1: self care, being self aware, like and it's a process.
Speaker 2: You know.
Speaker 1: Look, I've been drinking. I've been drinking since I was
Speaker 1: twenty one years old, on and off. I would go
Speaker 1: years without drinking. Drink now, drink, drink whatever. Not really
Speaker 1: my bag. You know, have my incidents. And I'm just like,
Speaker 1: you know what, I ain't gonna be drinking no more.
Speaker 1: I'm cool. And that was five months ago, by the.
Speaker 2: Way, congratulations, Yeah, not.
Speaker 1: Six months, but we can roll with six It'll be
Speaker 1: six months, it'll be six years. It'll be probably sixteen
Speaker 1: years from now.
Speaker 2: Like.
Speaker 1: And I have like a big old mocktail company, and
Speaker 1: I found this non alcoholic roseta is bomb.
Speaker 2: Okay, what is this?
Speaker 1: It's bomb. I can't even tell you the name because
Speaker 1: I need they need to pay me. I don't spend
Speaker 1: so much money on it. Nine because like when I
Speaker 1: go to parties, I always bring it, bring whatever I
Speaker 1: like to drink to the party. I just went to
Speaker 1: mgk's party, his birthday party, and I brought the non
Speaker 1: alcoholic rose. People like, oh, you're drinking what is that?
Speaker 1: What you're drinking? I'm like, non alcoholic rose you want
Speaker 1: to try something like, oh this is good. I was like, yep,
Speaker 1: and my body's not gonna hurt tomorrow, yours will nice.
Speaker 2: Nice, it's so good. Oh my god, up the name here.
Speaker 2: They're gonna come find it. I don't know. I don't know.
Speaker 2: I don't.
Speaker 1: I feel like they want. I feel like they won't.
Speaker 1: I feel like they gotta come find they know they
Speaker 1: they don't. Whole foods.
Speaker 2: Okay, you're dropping the little clues, the little whole foods.
Speaker 1: And it's and it's the animal on the cup.
Speaker 2: I love it. All the hents are drop now the hints.
Speaker 1: Drop also like this not alcoholic vodka too, even though
Speaker 1: it's I just imagine that it's rubbing alcohol though that's
Speaker 1: what it kind of tastes like. But it don't. It
Speaker 1: doesn't just rubbing alcohol like alcohol is alcohol.
Speaker 2: It is alcohol.
Speaker 1: It's not alcohol. It's not alcoholic tastes.
Speaker 2: But that's good though. No, it tastes exactly how you
Speaker 2: want it to taste. Oh you don't like okay, I.
Speaker 1: Never look, I never really liked to taste of the vodka.
Speaker 1: But you know, you put a little flavor, a little
Speaker 1: sugar in. They drop a jolly rancher in there, and
Speaker 1: you know what I'm saying, for some lemons, make an alcohaline.
Speaker 1: That's what I would tell myself. Got it, but it
Speaker 1: takes the pain away. It would take the pain away
Speaker 1: from me.
Speaker 2: And now and now now you don't use that to
Speaker 2: take the pain away, so.
Speaker 1: You just sit in the pain, which he ain't got
Speaker 1: process sick.
Speaker 2: With your father, I felt like ultimately he's guilt and
Speaker 2: shame kind of made you feel like you lost him
Speaker 2: again because that was so heavy for him that he
Speaker 2: kind of distanced me.
Speaker 1: He distanced him stuff from me. I think he knew
Speaker 1: he was sick, and then he didn't want me to
Speaker 1: see him like that, and he didn't want to have
Speaker 1: to depend on me because he knew I would take
Speaker 1: care of him.
Speaker 2: Like he knew I never wanted money. He never like
Speaker 2: you talked about like, he didn't want money from you.
Speaker 2: You didn't want to be a part of your fame.
Speaker 2: It wasn't It wasn't there.
Speaker 1: Now And I would still like fighly pay the light bills,
Speaker 1: send groceries to his house and say he'd be like,
Speaker 1: don't do that, Like he wanted to take care of me,
Speaker 1: but he wasn't capable of taking care of me. He
Speaker 1: was sick, and I think he didn't want me to
Speaker 1: know that or have anything to do. Like I think
Speaker 1: he felt like this is his punishment or whatever for whatever.
Speaker 1: But he left like a whole like memoryan like what
Speaker 1: I need to do, how I need to do it,
Speaker 1: and I did it all Like I'm obedient when it
Speaker 1: come to my parents, at least I try to be.
Speaker 1: I definitely am obedient.
Speaker 2: Did you end up organizing the funeral and attending or.
Speaker 1: He didn't want no funeral? Oh?
Speaker 2: Wow, Okay, he didn't want that.
Speaker 1: He didn't want me spending any money on him because
Speaker 1: he felt like he didn't spend nothing on me, but
Speaker 1: I did. But he did want to be buried with
Speaker 1: his mother, so I and it's against the tradition to cremate.
Speaker 1: He did not, Like he's like, they're going to be
Speaker 1: mad at you, but you know, I don't want you
Speaker 1: spending all the money to take me back, Like, go
Speaker 1: ahead and cremate me, take me and put me with
Speaker 1: my mom. And I told him, well, if I cremate, you,
Speaker 1: don't put half of you with your mama and half
Speaker 1: of you in my garden because you never really fed
Speaker 1: me anyways, grow me some food. And I did that,
Speaker 1: and then I just I just read this thing like
Speaker 1: last year that if you have a cemetery in your backyard,
Speaker 1: your property tax free if you got family members like
Speaker 1: buried in your back I was like, hmm, I wonder
Speaker 1: if ashes count, because I need good. This property tax
Speaker 1: is killing me.
Speaker 2: Interest.
Speaker 1: I'm always digging for information, especially when it comes to
Speaker 1: my money and my health. Like, so, yeah, I was
Speaker 1: just looking for tax baks. Also I saw that, you know,
Speaker 1: Trump buried you know, his people's on the golf course,
Speaker 1: and then now they don't have to pay no tax
Speaker 1: over there.
Speaker 2: I did see that. Yeah.
Speaker 1: Yeah, So I was like, oh, what can I do
Speaker 1: here in south central LA. And I'm like, hey, my
Speaker 1: daddy's over here near the collar greens. You've got the
Speaker 1: chili peppers in the mints.
Speaker 2: Let's know if that goes through, let's know if you
Speaker 2: figure out.
Speaker 1: They told me no, I already went to the city
Speaker 1: and tried it. I was like, my father is in
Speaker 1: the backyard. They was like, no, you need to exhumb
Speaker 1: my body. I was like, well, it's ashes. I can't really,
Speaker 1: I'm sure the plants ate him up two years ago.
Speaker 1: That was back in twenty seventeen, you know, so I'm
Speaker 1: pretty sure he's gone, gone, gone.
Speaker 2: But yeah, you're talking about taking care of your money
Speaker 2: and your health. You were saying there was one point
Speaker 2: in time where you had like a billboard up for
Speaker 2: your show, but then you still had like a you know,
Speaker 2: like a Obama phone. I think you called it. Yeah,
Speaker 2: You've always tried to figure that out even now, Like
Speaker 2: at one point you lived homeless when you were growing
Speaker 2: up in your teens and like living in a car,
Speaker 2: but now you still live in the area you grew
Speaker 2: up in. Yeah, and that's to inspire others to see
Speaker 2: what's possible and see that you can still move because
Speaker 2: usually people make it and then they leave.
Speaker 1: Right But you you really felt that that was Yeah,
Speaker 1: I felt its important to stay. I saw I like it.
Speaker 1: I feel safe over there, and I want to be
Speaker 1: where I'm wanted. You know, I don't want to be
Speaker 1: where I'm tolerated. I want to be where I'm wanted.
Speaker 1: So it's staying in the hood. I just feel like
Speaker 1: I'm a great example to these other kids. Look, Tiffany
Speaker 1: couldn't read that good. Tiffany couldn't read it all for
Speaker 1: a minute. Tiffany couldn't this, Tiffany couldn't that. And look
Speaker 1: what she has. She on the billboard right on the
Speaker 1: corner front of the house. She own that house right there,
Speaker 1: and like three other houses on this street. She also
Speaker 1: doing this. She's doing that like she doing stuff in
Speaker 1: a community, Like I'm a firm believer of like, oh,
Speaker 1: if my community is like messed up, I don't have
Speaker 1: to leave my community. I can stay right here and
Speaker 1: I can make it better. Now if if I was,
Speaker 1: like if I was the gang member, maybe it'd be
Speaker 1: more difficult, but maybe I could be influencing the other
Speaker 1: people in the gang to like, Okay, we're gonna do
Speaker 1: this now. This is what the gang's gonna do. Now,
Speaker 1: this is what we're doing that. Now. Now you're the manager,
Speaker 1: you the security, you do this, Like you gotta buy
Speaker 1: a house. Now you have to buy a house. Now.
Speaker 1: It's funny when somebody buys a house, how they're like
Speaker 1: perspective changes on what type of activities they participate in.
Speaker 1: Oh interesting, yeah, Like that's what I've noticed anyways, from
Speaker 1: like my hood friends, like people in the community, like
Speaker 1: what they was all about fighting, all about this, all
Speaker 1: about it. As soon as they bought a house, They're like,
Speaker 1: oh no, I can't be doing all that. I gotta
Speaker 1: cut my grass. I gotta this, I gotta do this.
Speaker 1: I need to make my mortgage. I need to do this,
Speaker 1: like I gotta go to work. I gotta do this.
Speaker 1: Like it kind of changes the activity that you participate in,
Speaker 1: Like you might still be a thug and still be
Speaker 1: a gangster, but I gotta go get my money. I
Speaker 1: don't have time to be fighting you. I don't have
Speaker 1: time to be like potentially killing you and losing my house,
Speaker 1: even though the house could help me post bail. Like also,
Speaker 1: never always be telling them like I can't imagine you say,
Speaker 1: and this is my block, this is my block, but
Speaker 1: you on section eight. You don't own nothing on this block.
Speaker 1: Like you own nothing on this block, but this is
Speaker 1: your block. No, this block belongs to the Herreras, the Zazinski's,
Speaker 1: the go like this block well alongs everybody that owns
Speaker 1: land over here. You don't own nothing. You actually paying
Speaker 1: twelve dollars a month in rent in selling dope like
Speaker 1: you a rental store friend like you not? You don't
Speaker 1: own nothing over here. Who in your crew owns something?
Speaker 1: Like to me them, that's more like, okay, this is
Speaker 1: our block, Like do your granny pass your ranny? Don't
Speaker 1: even you sold like y'all sold it and still rent,
Speaker 1: like you don't nobody owns anything on this block. But
Speaker 1: you're saying it's your block. It ain't your block. Bruh.
Speaker 1: You can't even inherit anything over here, so you look
Speaker 1: like an idiot. You're protecting off their stuff and you're
Speaker 1: not even really protecting it. You're running it into the ground.
Speaker 1: Like how you expect anybody to really respect you? You
Speaker 1: don't even own anything? Like would you own this old
Speaker 1: ass oesmobile with them rims? You own the rims? Or no?
Speaker 1: You renting those rims? You don't even own the rims? Like, yeah,
Speaker 1: life is temporary, but you got four kids. They need
Speaker 1: to have something to inherit. What are they going to
Speaker 1: inherit from you? Those rims? You could do better, bruh?
Speaker 1: Do better?
Speaker 2: You do you see people? Do you feel that you
Speaker 2: see things changing and people changing and that.
Speaker 1: Yeah, if it's slow and paced, yeah it's slow, slowly changing.
Speaker 1: But also the demographic is changing too, so like but
Speaker 1: they thought they was going to be in that Section
Speaker 1: eight for I don't know how long they thought they
Speaker 1: was gonna be in it. Now the landlord's like, oh no,
Speaker 1: I don't know longer wanted to be Section A. So
Speaker 1: you gonna have to pay the four thousand dollars a
Speaker 1: month for rent or you're gonna have to move. And
Speaker 1: now they in section al Lancaster, Palmdale, himmet So now
Speaker 1: I barely even see them anymore, if at all, you know.
Speaker 1: And they and they're like, hey, I got I bought
Speaker 1: the house. I bought like people behind the stuff like
Speaker 1: I had to go way out of the out lay
Speaker 1: to buy it, but I own something now like this
Speaker 1: is going better for me. This is going better for me.
Speaker 1: So that I see changes in like the people that
Speaker 1: I grew up with, and I'm really happy for them.
Speaker 1: That's really happy for them.
Speaker 2: I mean, and it's incredible that you've been able to,
Speaker 2: you know, make home in the community and you talk
Speaker 2: about it as your community. It's a place where you
Speaker 2: feel safe, you feel comfortable.
Speaker 1: Yeah, never we'd be looking out for each other. And
Speaker 1: then Asian lady across the street be like I saw
Speaker 1: the man in the car at the camera, I called
Speaker 1: the police.
Speaker 2: Thank you.
Speaker 1: The dude next door, he's a retired police officer. He
Speaker 1: be showing people officer like every I said, you should
Speaker 1: be behind a gate, You should be behind a gate,
Speaker 1: and I'm like, but behind this door is guns. Like
Speaker 1: they don't want no, no, no, don't want to smoke, like,
Speaker 1: don't come up here, and I might make you clean
Speaker 1: my room map.
Speaker 2: So it's amazing.
Speaker 1: Good luck finding anything of any value in there.
Speaker 2: It's amazing, Tiffany, You've had such a you know, genuinely,
Speaker 2: we've been doing about your personal life so much. You've
Speaker 2: had such an amazing professional journey as well. When you're
Speaker 2: talking about your imagination and even your solutions for wanting
Speaker 2: a basketball player to hold you and make you feel
Speaker 2: like a baby, or you know, just the way your
Speaker 2: imagination works to solve things like what is your imagination
Speaker 2: saying about creative, artistic, expressive projects like where do you
Speaker 2: not what's next? Because I don't I don't find that
Speaker 2: question interesting, but in the sense of like where do
Speaker 2: you let your imagination run free? And how do you
Speaker 2: how do you allow it to do that so that
Speaker 2: you can explore this amazing world you have inside your head.
Speaker 1: Yes, Tiffany Land. I wish I wish could be an
Speaker 1: amusement party like Unicorn Island, Black Unicorn Island. Yes, okay,
Speaker 1: that's the next book. Okay, so well, it's been running
Speaker 1: so like with music. I love creating music. Like I said,
Speaker 1: I like singing to the bees. I like singing. I've
Speaker 1: been preparing like I got a band, and so I've
Speaker 1: always been kind of in love with like the forties,
Speaker 1: the thirties, the twenties, you know that jazzy era, the
Speaker 1: fifties and singing in a like a supper club and
Speaker 1: doing that. So I just performed at verbrado Oh last month,
Speaker 1: and it was like super dope. It was so much fun. No,
Speaker 1: that was this month. Actually it was super fun and
Speaker 1: like I had this like classic dress on and singing
Speaker 1: these songs. Now I'm not the best singer, but you
Speaker 1: know what, if Bob Dylan could make a career out
Speaker 1: of it, I could too. That's how I feel about it.
Speaker 1: Like you don't, It's not about how well you sing.
Speaker 1: It's about how entertaining you are, Like how do you
Speaker 1: make it? How do you make them feel? It's all
Speaker 1: about how you That's what entertainment is. It's like, well,
Speaker 1: you contain these people and you make them feel a
Speaker 1: certain type of way, and is it a feeling that
Speaker 1: they want to walk away and say, hey, I want
Speaker 1: other people to feel that too. That was kind of great,
Speaker 1: that was amazing, or that was an experience, right, So
Speaker 1: like I'm very like about that. So I'm singing like
Speaker 1: old songs from the thirties and twenties and forties and fifties,
Speaker 1: and then some of my original songs that I've made
Speaker 1: and I've been working with, like Diane Warren writing some
Speaker 1: really dope songs to like empower women, empower people anyways,
Speaker 1: and then like a really cool breakup song it's like
Speaker 1: my favorite I want you bet, I want you God,
Speaker 1: I need you bet, I need you out of my life.
Speaker 1: I fuck, I love it so good. Then then like
Speaker 1: all the movies I want to make, right, So like
Speaker 1: somebody's that just like you said you want to make
Speaker 1: eighty movies by the time you're fifty, you got a
Speaker 1: long way to go. And I'm like, I didn't say
Speaker 1: I want to beat in all those movies. I want
Speaker 1: to create an opportunity for other people to tell their stories,
Speaker 1: and I'm just producing on it. I'm being a part
Speaker 1: of the creation process, Like we still on the shot
Speaker 1: the flow Jow movie. Gotta get that script right, like
Speaker 1: and I could just imagine how dope that's going to be.
Speaker 1: The nails, the hair, me running on fast my body,
Speaker 1: like you know, and hey, if I'm too old, okay,
Speaker 1: I'm too old, give someone else opportunity or AI is
Speaker 1: coming in real good. But tell that love story between
Speaker 1: her and her husband. And then I want to do
Speaker 1: I want to see the Edda James story. I want
Speaker 1: to see that, like because she grew up in foster
Speaker 1: care like me, she been through the ringer, had to
Speaker 1: perform as a kid, and all the different homes she
Speaker 1: was in, Like, I want to see that story. Also,
Speaker 1: I want to do some kind of like a documentary
Speaker 1: or something about like all these successful women. I have
Speaker 1: never met one successful woman that has not been through shit.
Speaker 1: Like any woman that I have ever met or heard
Speaker 1: of that successful has like been beat up in some
Speaker 1: kind of way physically, emotionally, mentally something been beat up
Speaker 1: some kind of and bounce back in like stood strong
Speaker 1: ten toes down. I'm gonna make this happen, and it
Speaker 1: happens right, And I want to do something about that
Speaker 1: because I think right now too, like there's so many
Speaker 1: young girls that like that I've talked to that seem
Speaker 1: to feel hopeless, feel like you know, what's the point?
Speaker 1: Like no, like nobody cares about me. And it's like
Speaker 1: there are people that care about you, you just can't
Speaker 1: see them right now. You haven't met them yet, or
Speaker 1: you have met them, you just don't know how to
Speaker 1: identify what care is. So something about that I wanted
Speaker 1: to do Who Framed Roger Rabbit two? I feel like, oh,
Speaker 1: that would be so good and I want to be
Speaker 1: the detective and just correct it. Maybe I'll be Rebecca Rabbit,
Speaker 1: just consister who marries Roger's breth. I don't know, but
Speaker 1: like I want to see that because that was a
Speaker 1: really good movie that was based off of some true
Speaker 1: stuff that happened in Los Angeles. That's why we have
Speaker 1: Freeways now because of that judge that was in that movie.
Speaker 1: That's a real judge. So I would love to like
Speaker 1: do something with that. I have so many ideas. I
Speaker 1: love it animation. I want to open this grocery store.
Speaker 1: I could see it in my minds eyes, like I'm
Speaker 1: shopping in it every day. I know that's going to
Speaker 1: happen and create some like really awesome human beings.
Speaker 2: I love how there's no limits their creativity. And I
Speaker 2: think we I think we're now living in a time
Speaker 2: in the world where people can be multi hyphenets. And
Speaker 2: what you just said, it's I think a lot of
Speaker 2: the time we've been like, oh, you have to be talented,
Speaker 2: you have to be this, And what we realize is
Speaker 2: who can make people feel something in any sort of way,
Speaker 2: and we resonate with that, we all connect with it.
Speaker 2: And I think if anyone who's listening and watching and
Speaker 2: wants to do something things, I wish I started ten
Speaker 2: years ago. I wish I started when I was younger.
Speaker 2: Oh I didn't get that, you know, I didn't have
Speaker 2: parents who was supporting it. It's almost like it doesn't matter.
Speaker 1: It doesn't matter the KFC does started. It was sixty
Speaker 1: five seven years old. Yeah, he was out and that
Speaker 1: thing is all over the world. KFC is all over
Speaker 1: the world. Kentucky Fried Chicken every single country.
Speaker 2: They had enough competition too. Let McDonald and.
Speaker 1: What competition is all over the world. Now, he might
Speaker 1: not have lived long enough to see it be all
Speaker 1: over the world. But hey, he started something. He's a visionary,
Speaker 1: and I feel like that's that's what I am at
Speaker 1: the end of the day. I'm a visionary and I'm
Speaker 1: an administrator of joy. That's all I am. And some
Speaker 1: people hate that, and that's okay. That's because you don't
Speaker 1: know how to process joy. You don't. You got a
Speaker 1: lot of hurt in your heart, got a lot of hurt.
Speaker 1: You need to figure out how to process that. And
Speaker 1: if you want to learn, I'm down to show you
Speaker 1: a little bit. I can't, you know. I'm still processing
Speaker 1: my heart. But if you get this book and your joy,
Speaker 1: I curse you with joy my healthy son and my
Speaker 1: healthy son, and maybe your breath on stank so bad.
Speaker 1: I think people with a lot of hate and they
Speaker 1: art got bad breath.
Speaker 2: Oh that's an interesting hypothesis. Wow, that's that's interesting. I'm
Speaker 2: going to start testing that out.
Speaker 1: My research. I mean, I don't it's funny like people
Speaker 1: that talk really poorly and negative about other people, they
Speaker 1: breath usually stank.
Speaker 2: That's fascinating if you.
Speaker 1: Think about it. I mean, do you ever sit around
Speaker 1: people that just talk negative of all the time? You don't,
Speaker 1: like you could be at a party or something, and
Speaker 1: they just liked, you know, a bitch did this? Like
Speaker 1: breath is horrible. They are dying on the inside. Or
Speaker 1: you ever been in a car with somebody and they
Speaker 1: don't stop talking in the whole car smell like their breath.
Speaker 1: It's just atrocious. And then everything when you start to
Speaker 1: realize everything they're saying is negative. It's not even anything positive.
Speaker 1: It's a lot of hating their heart. Or they need
Speaker 1: a dentist because that tooth is dead. There's that that
Speaker 1: tooth is hating, hating the rest of their body, and
Speaker 1: when they can end up having a heart attack from that.
Speaker 1: Did you know most heart attacks come from bad teeth?
Speaker 2: I did not. That's not Is that true?
Speaker 1: No, that's not. I think So that's what I think.
Speaker 1: Resett the Dentist Association loves me for this. But just
Speaker 1: think about this. Just think about this. Think about this.
Speaker 1: Every person that you know that has had a heart attack, Okay,
Speaker 1: did was it teeth nice?
Speaker 2: I'd have to look into it. I have to look
Speaker 2: into it.
Speaker 1: Think about it. Bad teeth, bad heart.
Speaker 2: Tiffany, tell me what little Tiffany, Little t if little
Speaker 2: t look to you now, what would you be proud.
Speaker 1: Of Little Ta be proud that we own so many homes.
Speaker 1: Little T would be proud that we housing so many
Speaker 1: foster kids. Little T would be proud that we lived
Speaker 1: out our dreams of being like on our Senior Hall Show.
Speaker 1: And although we didn't get pregnant by our senior or anything,
Speaker 1: still happy that that's a friend that we could call
Speaker 1: on for advice. Little Tea would be really happy. Little
Speaker 1: T would be so happy about the car that we
Speaker 1: have now, even though it's so hoopie right now cause
Speaker 1: somebody hear my other car. Little TA is happy that
Speaker 1: I got that car because looking it's like a transformer
Speaker 1: when a hood go down. Even though it's old and raggedy,
Speaker 1: she loves that car. Little T would be super happy
Speaker 1: about the fact that we have enough money that we
Speaker 1: never have to be hungry again, never hungry, and never
Speaker 1: homeless again, never, no matter what may. Little T be
Speaker 1: happy that we made enough friends that if something was
Speaker 1: to happen, it would be okay. It would be okay
Speaker 1: that we wouldn't we might not have our own home,
Speaker 1: but we would have a place to stay. And Little
Speaker 1: T would be very proud that we didn't go to prison.
Speaker 1: But Little T is confident that if we went to prison,
Speaker 1: we would be like doing just finding there, because we
Speaker 1: was definitely thinking of ways to that could have ended
Speaker 1: us up in prison, thinking of some really crazy stuff.
Speaker 1: And she would be proud that like that we can
Speaker 1: give jobs that like I'm capable of creating jobs, and
Speaker 1: that every time I say yes to a job, that's
Speaker 1: two or three hundred people that get to work immediately
Speaker 1: and thousands that get to work once it comes out,
Speaker 1: you know, and Little Tea would be like even she
Speaker 1: would be disappointed that, you know, we got a duy,
Speaker 1: but even more proud that if you google black women
Speaker 1: with a duy, only I pop up Gloreala. What would
Speaker 1: Little T and Josephine Baker reent first? Before Gloreala got hers?
Speaker 1: It was just me and Josephine Baker. Wow, Google famous
Speaker 1: Black women with a d uy? See what come up? Wow?
Speaker 2: What would Little T look at you now and feel like?
Speaker 1: She'd be like, you are international? We international. They talked
Speaker 1: about it on the Korean news, the News of Africa.
Speaker 1: It's international. You are well famous. Suld be so proud.
Speaker 2: What would you wish that you did? What would you
Speaker 2: wish if there was anything that she was like, I
Speaker 2: wish we could get back to that. Wish we could
Speaker 2: do more of that. I wish I wish there was.
Speaker 1: I wish we still did that gymnastics cool and the
Speaker 1: rhythmic dance cool. She wishes that I will. I know
Speaker 1: she does wish we could have went to the Olympics
Speaker 1: and been a rhythmic dancer and stuck to that. She's
Speaker 1: disappointed in me that my splits are not all the
Speaker 1: way to the ground anymore.
Speaker 2: There used to be.
Speaker 1: They used to be to the ground, used to be
Speaker 1: coochie to the floor. Not no more. She's very disappointed.
Speaker 1: It's possible, it's possible, with proper training, discipline, this can
Speaker 1: be done. But she is disappointed also that we didn't
Speaker 1: become a hula dancers. It's supposed to be a hula dancer.
Speaker 1: She's disappointed in that too. But other than that, man,
Speaker 1: that's possible. I took I took a few classes. I
Speaker 1: know how to work them hips. I'm just not a professional.
Speaker 1: Just we can create a movie where I end up
Speaker 1: being a hula dancer. Everything is spossible. Also, she's a
Speaker 1: little disappointed that we're not working in a snicker factory
Speaker 1: or know how to make pantyhouse from scratch. I suplos
Speaker 1: to know how to make pantyhouse by now, but I don't.
Speaker 1: I love it, but I could, but I don't know
Speaker 1: how to, like, you know, weave them and fix a run.
Speaker 1: I'm supposed to know how to fix a run and
Speaker 1: it's stocking. I know how to put the nail policy
Speaker 1: on there and stop the hit it with the hair
Speaker 1: spray stopped the run. But I'm supposed to know how
Speaker 1: to weave nyh line and stop it. That's what I'm
Speaker 1: supposed to know how to do. It's not too late
Speaker 1: to lunch, I keep telling them, little t it ain't
Speaker 1: too late. We never know. But she is proud that
Speaker 1: I did make my own beef turkey, even though we're
Speaker 1: supposed to work in a beef turkey factory. But I
Speaker 1: know I know how to make beef turkey, So she's
Speaker 1: proud of that. We got a food dehydrator, and I
Speaker 1: talk about we isn't me and little Tea. She's still alive,
Speaker 1: of course, and she still be talking. Mess. Who's up
Speaker 1: on the did you google? It comes up legendary?
Speaker 2: You hear that we just checked it verified.
Speaker 1: I'm just saying that some people will be like, that's you.
Speaker 1: You should be ashamed of that. But I know a
Speaker 1: lot of other famous black women who have duys, but
Speaker 1: nobody knows. Just because nobody cares, they care about me.
Speaker 1: That's how I look at it. Man, that might be
Speaker 1: a horrible thing. It might be horrible. It might be
Speaker 1: horrible for me to think that way. But I did
Speaker 1: my community service and I'm helping out in all these
Speaker 1: different places, and I've made new friends because of it,
Speaker 1: and I might be going on dinner dates with this
Speaker 1: police now. Because everything happens for a reason. Everything happens
Speaker 1: for a reason. Every if I get married in Beverly Hills,
Speaker 1: you know why. Everything happens for a reason. But that
Speaker 1: allowed me to know that, like little tears, like yo,
Speaker 1: it's a lot of people that care about us. Because
Speaker 1: if didn't nobody care about you, nobody would write about it.
Speaker 1: They wouldn't make videos about it. They wouldn't be like,
Speaker 1: oh gosh, she's having a breakdown whatever. Like they wouldn't
Speaker 1: be talking about it like I'm like, I'm white girl famous.
Speaker 1: They talking about it in Africa, all over Africa. They're
Speaker 1: talking about in Asia. I don't even know I was
Speaker 1: popping like that in age, like in Korean news. These
Speaker 1: studios can now not say she's not international.
Speaker 2: You can't say this is proof.
Speaker 1: This is the proof international. BBC talked about it seeing
Speaker 1: Duy and I blew a point oh three. I was
Speaker 1: sleep pulled over. Now, maybe I was parked wrong. It
Speaker 1: should have been a bad parking ticket. That's what it
Speaker 1: should have been. But you know what it is, what
Speaker 1: it is. Some things need to happen for came. No
Speaker 1: studio says she's not international. That proves it right there,
Speaker 1: right there. It might not be the best way to
Speaker 1: prove it, but god damn it. That proofs that people care.
Speaker 2: Tiffney. You are a treat. And I enjoyed this pantomica.
Speaker 2: I don't think I've ever loved this much on the show.
Speaker 1: He doesn't even laughing, he was just giggling.
Speaker 2: Honestly, I'm so so happy that you put this book
Speaker 2: to them. I'm so grateful that I got to hang
Speaker 2: out with you and do this with you. Yeah, we're
Speaker 2: talking for nearly two hours and it's flown by. We
Speaker 2: end every episode with of on purpose with a fast
Speaker 2: five or final five. Every question has to be answered
Speaker 2: in one word to one sentence maximum. Okay, Tiffany, your
Speaker 2: final five. Now, these are rules.
Speaker 1: Okay, these are rules to follow rules. Hear that?
Speaker 2: So question one, okay, Tiffany, what is the best advice
Speaker 2: you've ever heard or received?
Speaker 1: Don't let nobody in your house. They don't hand one
Speaker 1: to lose.
Speaker 2: I like that that. We never had that love that.
Speaker 2: Question number two, what is the worst advice you've ever
Speaker 2: heard or received?
Speaker 1: I'm just thinking of stupid sa stupid stuff. I've heard
Speaker 1: me say to me that I know no, because that's
Speaker 1: a statement that's not necessarily advice.
Speaker 2: That makes sense. They'll go and say it's coming to
Speaker 2: your mind. I when to hear look on your face
Speaker 2: means we have to hear it.
Speaker 1: Good long ago. Putting no condom on you know I
Speaker 1: love you. That do not mean a man love you.
Speaker 1: It do not mean he love you.
Speaker 2: That's brilliant.
Speaker 1: That is not love.
Speaker 2: That's brilliant.
Speaker 1: That is not love. Every woman out there, just because
Speaker 1: he don't want to put a condom on does not
Speaker 1: mean he love you. He is just trying to get
Speaker 1: wet spit on it.
Speaker 2: I'm glad you shared that. Sorry, I'm glad you shaid it.
Speaker 2: That's the question Number three, What is your most repeated
Speaker 2: thought on a daily basis?
Speaker 1: Clean your room, clean room, Clean your room. I gotta
Speaker 1: clean my room. I'm gonna make some time to clean
Speaker 1: his room. That's okay, you can't keep working on that
Speaker 1: one project cleaning room.
Speaker 2: That's great. Question him before, What's something that you used
Speaker 2: to value that you don't value anymore? Mmm.
Speaker 1: Something that I used to value that I don't value anymore.
Speaker 1: Saving checks. I used to save checks. Okay, checks that
Speaker 1: people are writing, I put them in a photo album.
Speaker 1: I don't do that no more because too many checks
Speaker 1: there's direct deposits. But but yeah, but if someone hands
Speaker 1: me a check today, I will take a picture of it.
Speaker 1: But I don't put it in a photo album anymore.
Speaker 1: It's in a photo though, in my phone.
Speaker 2: But it's beautiful.
Speaker 1: But I used to like because I thought it was
Speaker 1: so awesome. If somebody handwrite me a check, they sign it,
Speaker 1: even if it's a company, they seem they mailed it
Speaker 1: to me and it's money. And then when you could
Speaker 1: take a picture of it, deposit. I have two photo
Speaker 1: albums full of checks.
Speaker 2: I love that. Fifth and final question, Tiffany. We asked
Speaker 2: just every guest who's ever been on the show. If
Speaker 2: you could create one law that everyone in the world
Speaker 2: had to follow, what would it be.
Speaker 1: Well, you have to hug someone every Oh, I love
Speaker 1: that one. A hug a hug, even if you don't
Speaker 1: like being a hug, you got a hug. Like, if
Speaker 1: you don't get at least one hug in you gotta
Speaker 1: get a hug or make someone else laugh every day. Yeah,
Speaker 1: that would make the world better.
Speaker 2: It's good, Lork.
Speaker 1: A lot of people are angry because they don't get
Speaker 1: no hugs. Nobody touches them and they need a hug. Yeah,
Speaker 1: but don't be just her. People be randomly just hugging me.
Speaker 1: Yesterday was in the airport. This lady just came up
Speaker 1: to me crying full tears, and she said just thank
Speaker 1: you so much, thank you so much, and I start crying.
Speaker 2: I was like, what are we thinking? It's going up?
Speaker 1: And she just hugged me. And then I was like
Speaker 1: happy that she hugged me. But then at the same
Speaker 1: time I was mad because she had on tears and
Speaker 1: it was all on my shoulder.
Speaker 2: You set the Lord. She just falling the Lord.
Speaker 1: She was falling the lot. And I appreciated the hug,
Speaker 1: but I did not like the tears on my shoulder.
Speaker 1: But I really wanted to know why she was crying.
Speaker 1: And I do not know why she was crying. I
Speaker 1: had to get on the plane. I still don't know
Speaker 1: exactly why. I think she was happy. Either she was
Speaker 1: happy that I cut off my hair off because all
Speaker 1: her airs cut off, or she was happy that I
Speaker 1: went to Israel because I did see it start David
Speaker 1: on her. So I'm gonna go with this because I
Speaker 1: went to Israel even though because we all had it. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I went in February for Black History when I went
Speaker 1: to find all the black.
Speaker 2: People and I did what was that experience? Like?
Speaker 1: That was amazing. It's just like California, bro. It felt
Speaker 1: like I was in America, but they speak Hebrew. It's
Speaker 1: very interesting.
Speaker 2: It's your first time, first time?
Speaker 1: First time?
Speaker 2: Is that quite a powerful experience? In terms?
Speaker 1: It was very powerful because you know, every religion is there,
Speaker 1: everybody's there, everybody's there. Yeah, I'm not. You went in
Speaker 1: twenty seventeen and when I went to Jerusalem, maybe because
Speaker 1: there's a war going on, there was barely anybody in
Speaker 1: Jerusalem like that, so I didn't have to wait in
Speaker 1: no long lines. I could do all the activities, got
Speaker 1: the shop freely. Nobody's like bumping into me, nobody's yelling
Speaker 1: at me. So it was kind of beautiful because I
Speaker 1: had been doing my researching and seeing like, oh, you
Speaker 1: might have to wait in line to go in here,
Speaker 1: you have the waiting line, go wait for this. I
Speaker 1: didn't have to wait to go in anything. I went
Speaker 1: into all the churches. I did not get to go
Speaker 1: into the mosque, probably because they knew who I was
Speaker 1: or whatever and that I'm Jewish. So but I looked.
Speaker 1: I was like I was over here like this, what
Speaker 1: made you want to go right now? Well, I was
Speaker 1: supposed to go, like four years ago. I was supposed
Speaker 1: to go. I already was planning on going. I already
Speaker 1: had a ticket like trying to go. You know, it's
Speaker 1: funny because every people saying they paid you to go there,
Speaker 1: and I'm like that check I would have took a
Speaker 1: picture of and posted, Okay, nobody paid me to be anywhere.
Speaker 1: This was me wanting to, like, I'm super thirsty for knowledge.
Speaker 1: I read about these places and the Bible and the
Speaker 1: Torah in the Koran, I read about like I went
Speaker 1: to the Church of Scientology. They talked about it was
Speaker 1: like everybody talks about this place, like I need to
Speaker 1: see this, and this is like where Jesus was, where
Speaker 1: this person was, Abraham, all the all the major players
Speaker 1: was in that area, So let me go see this.
Speaker 1: And I went, and it was I got to go
Speaker 1: in that tunnel, right, the underground tunnel, and that where
Speaker 1: the Micvah is, and like learn about that. That's where
Speaker 1: baptism came from, from the Micvah and all that stuff,
Speaker 1: and people getting cleaned up coming from all the other
Speaker 1: nations to come visit the the end of that's the
Speaker 1: that's the trail that Jesus walked every year, and then
Speaker 1: he walked at that one particular year and got assassinated
Speaker 1: at the top of it, right, and they built the
Speaker 1: church around where they have, you know, killed them and
Speaker 1: around where they say he was buried. And it's something there.
Speaker 1: I don't know if it's aliens underneath the rock or
Speaker 1: if the rock is from Mars and they got some
Speaker 1: kind of energy. It's some kind of energetic like reboost reset,
Speaker 1: like on the soul. I felt like I was surrounded
Speaker 1: like I felt like I was surrounded by like my ancestors.
Speaker 1: I could feel like here whispers. I was like looking
Speaker 1: around to see did they put some speakers in here
Speaker 1: or something like. I was hearing like like, hey, this
Speaker 1: is what you need to do now, this is what
Speaker 1: you need like like guidance, Like this is where you
Speaker 1: go for guidance. I prayed at the wall, put a
Speaker 1: little prayers in there, prayed in the church. I was like,
Speaker 1: pray everywhere. If God is here, if God is all
Speaker 1: throughout this, well, then geez, let me give something. Let
Speaker 1: me pray everywhere. You know. That's how I felt about it.
Speaker 1: I feel like I feel like we all praying to
Speaker 1: the same person. We're just doing it in different ways
Speaker 1: because we come from different cultures because of Babylon. But
Speaker 1: it's a Babylone where everybody got the different languages and stuff.
Speaker 1: We're in the Bible where, say, uh, where everybody was
Speaker 1: speaking one language at first, and then Babbel Babbel when
Speaker 1: it was building a tower of Babble and Babylon, right,
Speaker 1: and then everybody started battling because everybody's speaking different languages
Speaker 1: and they start separating into different tribes, different whatever because
Speaker 1: they didn't speak the same languages anymore. Right, is that
Speaker 1: int Come on, you a monk, You're supposed to know
Speaker 1: all these different things tradition. Okay, so what so what
Speaker 1: did the monks say? How did different languages come about?
Speaker 2: We never really talked about that. That wasn't part of
Speaker 2: the education, so.
Speaker 1: It didn't care about why people speak different languages.
Speaker 2: I care about that. But you don't know why.
Speaker 1: People speak different languages. Let's ask our researcher over there, researcher,
Speaker 1: can you tell me? Because I'm pretty sure. I'm pretty
Speaker 1: sure it's Babylon Battle? Where where where people started when
Speaker 1: God made people start speaking different languages because he was like, oh,
Speaker 1: they keep talking to mustters, so they're doing too much
Speaker 1: over God caused some confusion. That's like my number one
Speaker 1: thing I hate is confusion. But my room looks like
Speaker 1: it's confused. But I know where everything at. But I
Speaker 1: hate confusion. That the Tower of Battle, I didn't want
Speaker 1: to say anything. I didn't know, so so I say
Speaker 1: all that to say, I don't know if it's aliens
Speaker 1: under the rock. I don't know if the rock is
Speaker 1: from Mars. I don't know if that's actually God is
Speaker 1: in the rock. I don't know if God is hanging
Speaker 1: out in the mosque, in the Temple. I don't know.
Speaker 1: I don't know, But what I do know about Jerusalem
Speaker 1: is it is a very powerful place. There's definitely something
Speaker 1: spiritual going on. It taps into the spirit. I don't know,
Speaker 1: if it's like heightened energy where all your chakras open
Speaker 1: up and you could get like messages coming through or whatever.
Speaker 1: Something's going on there. And it's all the different races
Speaker 1: and religions are there in all throughout the country like
Speaker 1: and they're and they're dealing with a lot of the
Speaker 1: same crap that we're dealing with amongst themselves. I was
Speaker 1: talking to the Black Juice that there's a very large
Speaker 1: African American diaspora of black Hebrew juice up in Demona.
Speaker 1: And they say the Moona is where the nuclear weapons are,
Speaker 1: but I think the nuclear weapons is the Black African
Speaker 1: Americans rother down jaspora there. They could they go off
Speaker 1: the chain, but I could be wrong. I don't know,
Speaker 1: but I was hanging out with a lot of them,
Speaker 1: and I was learning a lot. And I went to
Speaker 1: Masada and that was like absolutely gorgeous. I went to
Speaker 1: the Dead Sea. Do not pee when you're in the
Speaker 1: dead Sea. They gonna heal. H they gonna hear, and
Speaker 1: they say and they say they're gonna burn. Well, just's
Speaker 1: gonna heal. It's gonna be disaffected, they said. They say
Speaker 1: that nothing grows in the dead Sea. But I beg
Speaker 1: to different because I seen them salt spikes growing on
Speaker 1: the poles over there. I think the salt girls.
Speaker 2: And then.
Speaker 1: And what else, Hana, I got so much say oh,
Speaker 1: And I went to this other place called Sakhna, and
Speaker 1: it's like natural springs and it's like the whole thing
Speaker 1: of three hundred or whatever, the spartans of three hundred.
Speaker 1: It was like, now it's too far away from where
Speaker 1: Soakna is, and there's this natural experience and I was
Speaker 1: all in there. It felt like I was getting younger
Speaker 1: or something. There was fish coming up eating the dead
Speaker 1: skin off my feet. So I was experiencing a lot
Speaker 1: of the nature and the actual people. And I was
Speaker 1: like talking with the Beda Wins and talking with like
Speaker 1: I talked with everybody. And there was Palestinians there too,
Speaker 1: and I'm talking with them, and I got to go
Speaker 1: to keep it and I got to see I could
Speaker 1: see Gayza from there, and it was horrible, is absolutely horrible.
Speaker 1: I don't know why humans do this to each other.
Speaker 1: Maybe because they don't get enough hugs. I don't know why,
Speaker 1: like understand how like anybody would want to eradicate any
Speaker 1: group of people, any kind of like that part. I
Speaker 1: just I don't know. I don't have that in me.
Speaker 1: I can't understand it. I don't even want to make
Speaker 1: myself understand it. I just would like that to stop.
Speaker 1: I want peace. Everybody should have peace. Everybody deserves joy.
Speaker 1: So I curse the world with joy.
Speaker 2: The book is called A Curse You would Joy, Tiffany Haddish.
Speaker 2: It's available right now. This conversation, I'm sure it's inspired
Speaker 2: you to go and grab a copy of the book.
Speaker 2: Dive deep into it. You are gonna laugh, you're gonna learn,
Speaker 2: you're gonna cry, you're gonna feel it all. Tiffany, thank
Speaker 2: you for being extraordinary. Genuinely, you're extraordinary. Thank you. I
Speaker 2: can't think of another word.
Speaker 1: Thank I thought you said I was extraordinary, and I
Speaker 1: got really excited, because that's all you know. I want
Speaker 1: to be ordinary, but I know that I'm not. I'm extraordinary.
Speaker 2: Your your presence is infectious, your energy is magnetic. I
Speaker 2: mean it's honestly, just being around you is is joy
Speaker 2: good and I want to thank you for sharing that
Speaker 2: with us and my own purpose community to do.
Speaker 1: I got some of that rock in my pocket.
Speaker 2: Love it.
Speaker 1: But I did still some dirt from the the from
Speaker 1: that tunnel and two rocks from I want to become
Speaker 1: an archaeologist. That's gonna be my next thing. There you go,
Speaker 1: I'm gonna go over there and do archaeology for like
Speaker 1: three days. I love it, and go dig out some
Speaker 1: more stuff, maybe open a dress shop in that tunnel.
Speaker 1: It felt like a mall.
Speaker 2: Yeah, like a mall. Well, they're most probably copied that someone.
Speaker 2: Someone got the idea from there. Probably that's that's how
Speaker 2: they got it. You're right, that's how they got you.
Speaker 1: Right, See, Jake, when I hang out with you, I
Speaker 1: learned stuff.
Speaker 2: No, I just know nothing at all.
Speaker 1: I think our intentions were met here today.
Speaker 2: Without a doubt. And I want to tell everyone who's
Speaker 2: listening and watching, make sure you share what you learned
Speaker 2: from Tiffany. Tag both of us on on Instagram, on TikTok.
Speaker 2: Let us know what stayed with you or resonated with you,
Speaker 2: go connected with you in the YouTube comments let us
Speaker 2: know because I love to see what Tiffany shared that's
Speaker 2: helping you become happier, healthier, and healed. Thanks so much,
Speaker 2: thank you, thank you, You're amazing. If you love this episode,
Speaker 2: you'll enjoy my conversation with Megan Trainer on breaking generational
Speaker 2: trauma and how to be confident from the inside out.
Speaker 1: My therapist told me stand in the mirror naked for
Speaker 1: five minutes. It was already tough for me to love
Speaker 1: my body, but after the C section scar with all
Speaker 1: the stretch marks, now I'm looking at myself like I've
Speaker 1: been hacked.
Speaker 2: But day three, when I did it, I was like
Speaker 1: You know what, her thighs are cute