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Speaker 1: Kind of would like to start a service where like

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Speaker 1: retired basketball players can hold you like a baby. I

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Speaker 1: asked that, I said, would you hold me like a baby?

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Speaker 1: And like the embarned me. He was like, girl, you crazy,

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Speaker 1: so damn silly.

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Speaker 2: Got you get a special guest in the building. Emmy

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Speaker 2: Award winning actors and comedian became the first black female comic.

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Speaker 2: The host essaw please welcome Tiffany Haddish.

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Speaker 1: I was like, where are you? We cannot see you.

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Speaker 1: I need to see you. I missed you.

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Speaker 2: Hey, everyone, I've got some huge news to share with you.

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Speaker 2: In the last ninety days, seventy nine point four percent

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Speaker 2: of our audience came from viewers and listeners that are

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Speaker 2: not subscribed to this channel. There's research that shows that

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Speaker 2: if you want to create a habit, make it easy

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Speaker 2: to access. By hitting the subscribe button, you're creating a

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Speaker 2: habit of learning how to be happier, healthier, and more healed.

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Speaker 2: This would also mean the absolute world to me and

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Speaker 2: help us make better, bigger, brighter content for you in

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Speaker 2: the world. Subscribe right now the number one health and

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Speaker 2: wellness podcast.

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Speaker 1: Jay Sheety Jay Sheny.

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Speaker 2: Hey, everyone, welcome back to On Purpose. Thank you so

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Speaker 2: much for tuning in to become a happier, healthier and

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Speaker 2: more healed, which is the focus of this show. Now.

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Speaker 2: Today's guest is someone that I've wanted to have on

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Speaker 2: for a long long time, and I'm so excited that

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Speaker 2: she's finally in the studio. She's already brought so much joy, laughter,

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Speaker 2: and enjoyment into this room just by her mere presence.

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Speaker 2: Today's guest is none other than Tiffany Haddish and Emmy

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Speaker 2: Grammy NAACP Image Award winner who's established herself as one

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Speaker 2: of the most sought after comedic actresses and performers worldwide.

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Speaker 2: Tiffany's a New York Times best selling author for her

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Speaker 2: book The Last Black Unicorn, and a children's book author

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Speaker 2: of Layla, The Last Black Unicorn. This book is coold.

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Speaker 2: I curse you with joy. I want you to go

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Speaker 2: and grab this book right now. It releases May seventh,

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Speaker 2: and this is the book we're diving into today. Tiffany

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Speaker 2: pours a heart out, she shares her story, she shares

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Speaker 2: the incredible journey that she's been on, and she makes

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Speaker 2: it funny and deeply fulfilling. I can't wait for you

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Speaker 2: to read this book, Go and grab it right now.

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Speaker 2: Welcome to the show, Tiffany. Hot is Tiffany, Thank you?

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Speaker 1: And the cover is prithy.

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Speaker 2: The cover is beautiful.

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Speaker 1: It's beautiful. You can almost see all my ribs because

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Speaker 1: I was sucking the man and that's where I wanted

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Speaker 1: you to be able to see my heart. I was like,

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Speaker 1: can y'all just show it like three more ribs right

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Speaker 1: there and then maybe you have my heart beat out?

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Speaker 1: And it was like, we're not, that's unhealthy.

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Speaker 2: How long did it take to get that shot?

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Speaker 1: Didn't take long at all. Took like all of maybe

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Speaker 1: five minutes.

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Speaker 2: Wow, that's imp I.

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Speaker 1: Asked them if they could show my ribs more, yeah,

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Speaker 1: just because I want to show. No, they didn't know.

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Speaker 1: They did not, but I did sucking my breath and

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Speaker 1: like flex flex, I learned how fleck fleck show chest

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Speaker 1: muscles because I don't have much breast, which reflects the chess.

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Speaker 2: Got it.

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Speaker 1: It's a lot of pattern right there.

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Speaker 2: I love it. I love it. It's brilliant. Tiffany. What

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Speaker 2: is the best part about being Tiffany at.

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Speaker 1: Ith The best part about being Tiffany it what's the

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Speaker 1: best part about being me? Girl? I don't know. I

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Speaker 1: have so much fun. I have a lot of fun.

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Speaker 1: I can tell I carry a lot. But I'm built

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Speaker 1: for it and I have a lot of fun doing it.

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Speaker 1: Sometimes I complain about it, sometimes I whine, but I'm

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Speaker 1: built for it and I enjoy it.

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Speaker 2: When did you realize you were built for it?

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Speaker 1: Probably when I was like twenty one, twenty two, because yeah,

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Speaker 1: twenty two, I say, because at twenty one I was like,

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Speaker 1: I don't want to be here on this planet no more.

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Speaker 1: This sucks, like it feels like everybody's taking a pain

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Speaker 1: out on me. Like, but what I realized is like, oh,

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Speaker 1: I love to hear people laughing. Maybe they're bringing me

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Speaker 1: their pain and taking that because I'm supposed to transmute

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Speaker 1: that into laughter. I'm supposed to take that and flip

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Speaker 1: it for them. And once I learn how to do

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Speaker 1: that and perfect it, then the easier to be for me.

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Speaker 1: And it is easier in relationships for me now. But

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Speaker 1: when it comes to other things, it's a lot more difficult.

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Speaker 1: Like cleaning my room. I am a hoarder. I think

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Speaker 1: I'm an emotional hoarder, and it shows up and manifests

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Speaker 1: in my bedroom.

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Speaker 2: What kind of things do you hoard.

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Speaker 1: Clothes kind of knickknacks? Gadgets? I love gadgets. I don't

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Speaker 1: know why I bring the gadget to the bed, like

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Speaker 1: it's gonna do something magical in the bed. And it's

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Speaker 1: not even for the bed. It's probably for the kitchen.

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Speaker 1: But I'm like, let me see how this gadget work.

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Speaker 1: And I like experience. I'm big on experimenting, and I

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Speaker 1: do a lot of it in my bedroom because that's

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Speaker 1: my layer and I don't let people in my room,

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Speaker 1: so like I got a microscope in there. It's like

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Speaker 1: half laboratory, half office, half closet half with this all this.

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Speaker 2: If I walk into the I'm not allowed. But if

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Speaker 2: I was to walk into your bedroom, would I fall

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Speaker 2: over and trip over and help myself.

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Speaker 1: Over a basket of clothes? And then You'll be like

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Speaker 1: what is that in the corner? You are you building something?

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Speaker 1: Like it's what kind of electronics is that? And then

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Speaker 1: like why is there clothes all over here? And then

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Speaker 1: what's that on the bed? And are you making jewelry?

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Speaker 1: Are you sorting a jewelry? Like what is going on?

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Speaker 2: Wow?

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Speaker 1: Yeah, it's a lot going on.

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Speaker 2: I'm not gonna show you no picture.

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Speaker 1: It's embarrassing. It's when I look at it, I'm like,

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Speaker 1: geez tipping. Your brain is everywhere. That's what it feels

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Speaker 1: like because I imagine that, like your bedroom is a

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Speaker 1: reflection of your mind, because it's where I do spend

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Speaker 1: most of my time in house, and like all the

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Speaker 1: rest of the house is pretty clean. It might be

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Speaker 1: some little boxes in the corner here by, like mail

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Speaker 1: on the table, but I go through that, sort that

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Speaker 1: out real quick. But the my room, I don't know.

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Speaker 1: It's like I get to that when I feel like

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Speaker 1: I'm gonna play with this right now. Let me see

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Speaker 1: how these sea monkeys are doing in the corner over here.

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Speaker 1: Let me see what doing like. I mean, no, it's

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Speaker 1: some sea monkeys. Are those pets? I don't think those

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Speaker 1: are pets. Now, that's that's an experiment. There's a there's

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Speaker 1: a shrimp. But I mean my cat might come in occasionally,

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Speaker 1: and if I get really like lonely or whatever, I'll

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Speaker 1: bring the dog in, you know. And then the dog

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Speaker 1: is like burrowing herself in my dirty clothes and I

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Speaker 1: get her out of here because she likes to chew

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Speaker 1: a crotch on my underwear. As my dirty underwears. I

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Speaker 1: don't like it.

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Speaker 2: And you like that chaos like you you like waking

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Speaker 2: up to that sleeping and that that kind of cozy.

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Speaker 1: I don't have a man. I don't have nobody else's

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Speaker 1: mind the sort but my own. So when men do

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Speaker 1: spend the night, I only let them sleep in the

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Speaker 1: guest room.

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Speaker 2: Got it.

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Speaker 1: So because they're guests in my house, so you pay bills,

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Speaker 1: you can't come up in the main room. And when

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Speaker 1: they start paying my bills, then I guess that's when

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Speaker 1: I'll clean up my room and make space for them.

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Speaker 2: I'm a classic virgo, so everything for me has to

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Speaker 2: be or organize like tidy. Everything has to be in

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Speaker 2: its place, like I think. I can I walk into

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Speaker 2: a room and I can spot the one thing that's

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Speaker 2: like half a cent of meter off and I need

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Speaker 2: to And.

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Speaker 1: That would be the kind of guy I would like

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Speaker 1: to date so that he can like clean up after

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Speaker 1: me and stuff and bring them to and have adventure

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Speaker 1: for him. I have some adventures for you, not too

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Speaker 1: much drama. I'm not big on the drama, but I

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Speaker 1: am big on adventure experiences. And then I'm but I'm messy.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, that's cool. You don't have to be messy.

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Speaker 1: But I'm not dirty. But it's like I get it.

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Speaker 2: I get yeah, And I mean I saw that you

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Speaker 2: said you've been celibate for the past six months? Is that?

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Speaker 2: Is that true?

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Speaker 1: I guess? Okay, okay, so.

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Speaker 2: Is that true?

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Speaker 1: I mean, does kissing count? No, I'm just not yeah, okay,

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Speaker 1: I'm not being penetrated, that's for sure. No penetration.

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Speaker 2: Is that an intentional choice? Was that something you were

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Speaker 2: trying to work up to and practice or.

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Speaker 1: Is it been six months? Though?

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Speaker 2: I guess so the person who can tell.

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Speaker 1: Us October does make it six months? Yeah, yeah, yeah,

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Speaker 1: because I don't just I just don't want to lay

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Speaker 1: down with nobody, just anybody, you know. I just feel like, dang,

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Speaker 1: I am the prize and these dudes got to qualify,

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Speaker 1: like it. And when I think about like my track

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Speaker 1: record of like who I lay down with, it takes

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Speaker 1: like a year or so for me to even warm up.

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Speaker 1: It's a line. It's a line of dudes. It's you know, hey, hey,

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Speaker 1: I mean I love going to free dinners. I'll go

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Speaker 1: on free dinner dates, you know, I mean not free

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Speaker 1: dinner dates, but like, yeah, it's free for me, so yeah,

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Speaker 1: but it do cost me money to get you know,

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Speaker 1: cute and stuff and the gas in the car or whatever.

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Speaker 2: But yeah, yeah, you know, I asked obviously when I

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Speaker 2: lived as a monk, I'll celebrate for three years. So

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Speaker 2: it was like it was a big, big, big commitment in.

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Speaker 1: Mindy, it didn't make you feel like, ah.

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Speaker 2: In the beginning, yes, really sure, for sure it was hard,

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Speaker 2: but then I said it was yeah, it's time.

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Speaker 1: Earlier, earlier, it feels easy. I don't know, I've been

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Speaker 1: working out a lot, so I feel like I get

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Speaker 1: my sexual like frustrations out in the workout. And then,

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Speaker 1: like I said, gadgets.

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Speaker 2: Did it take your while to raise your standards? Like?

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Speaker 2: Where did this qualification, this language, this vocabulary you have

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Speaker 2: right now around dating? Was that something that has come

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Speaker 2: with time? Is that something that was always there that night?

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Speaker 1: It was definitely not always there. Definitely if you read

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Speaker 1: the book, you know that it was always there. I

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Speaker 1: just feel like it's like, it's certain things that I

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Speaker 1: want for myself and I want to share the success.

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Speaker 1: And what I've learned is when you're like laying down

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Speaker 1: with people, that's not really as ambitious as you are,

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Speaker 1: or comfortable in their skin, or confident with who they are,

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Speaker 1: or even just not even necessarily confident, just know who

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Speaker 1: they are, it becomes a problem. And I think when

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Speaker 1: you lay down with somebody, you are sharing your soul,

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Speaker 1: you are sharing a piece of yourself. You're giving a

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Speaker 1: little piece of yourself up. And I don't I think like,

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Speaker 1: I only got so much soul left, and I don't

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Speaker 1: want to necessarily just give it over to anybody, you know,

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Speaker 1: I don't think. I don't know if the soul grows.

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Speaker 1: I don't know if you can rejuvenate new soul like

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Speaker 1: you do skin or hear, but it just feels like

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Speaker 1: I don't want to subject myself to it. Also, now,

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Speaker 1: once I let you inside my body, I gotta know

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Speaker 1: you got to get then gotta learn you and all

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Speaker 1: this stuff like and and so scientifically, okay, now we're

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Speaker 1: gonna get into the science stuff some yeah, yeah, So

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Speaker 1: I had did my scientific research. I was reading about

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Speaker 1: how you know, once you let somebody ejaculate his sperm,

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Speaker 1: right once, the uterus is very absorbent, so you absorb

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Speaker 1: all of that into your bloodstream. Right, so now you

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Speaker 1: like attracted to them, so like when the Bible says

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Speaker 1: you will only desire your husband. This is part why

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Speaker 1: because now he's like in your blood, like in like

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Speaker 1: binding with your DNA. And if you get pregnant by

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Speaker 1: this person, it takes like six months or so for

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Speaker 1: them to get out of your DNA. And if you

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Speaker 1: decide to have a baby or get pregnant by this person,

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Speaker 1: those stem cells from that baby is in you forever,

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Speaker 1: so they are forever a part of you. Do I

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Speaker 1: forever want to be a part of somebody who's like

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Speaker 1: mentally ill. Do I forever want this person to be

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Speaker 1: like in my eyeballs, in my brain, in my look,

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Speaker 1: in my heart the stem cells from them and what

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Speaker 1: we like you know, could have potentially made Do I

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Speaker 1: forever want that? And then I think about like like

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Speaker 1: hose and why they be so crazy, And it's because

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Speaker 1: it's too many personality, too much, that's I see. Anyway,

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Speaker 1: that's my scientist.

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Speaker 2: That's when ise ed monster class coming.

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Speaker 1: Well, there's a smart there's a short sex ed portion

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Speaker 1: in the book. You know, I think I would have

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Speaker 1: been a great sex education teacher.

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Speaker 2: That's what I'm thinking listening to you right now.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, I think I would have been really good at that.

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Speaker 2: I think we need to get a national program.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, because I noticed, like females that I know that

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Speaker 1: like are really emotional, like going like always the world

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Speaker 1: is like in an uproar. And then if you find

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Speaker 1: out like how many body, what's they body count? And

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Speaker 1: like and especially if it's a higher body count, it's

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Speaker 1: a lot of them probably didn't have no kind of

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Speaker 1: one And then you probably you probably absorbed a lot

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Speaker 1: of that stuff. And who's to say they didn't. They

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Speaker 1: might have been pregnant, didn't realize they were pregnant. It's

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Speaker 1: just thought, all, this is a hard period, but really

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Speaker 1: they might have been having a miscarriage or it's just

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Speaker 1: a pregnancy that didn't stick. Whatever, Like it's a it's

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Speaker 1: a lot, it's a lot.

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Speaker 2: It sounds like this has obviously been something that I know,

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Speaker 2: we're laughing, but at the same time we're learning, Like

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Speaker 2: this has been something you've been learning about, thinking about

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Speaker 2: reflecting on. Especially when you dive into your book, as

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Speaker 2: we were talking about earlier, you make everything sound really

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Speaker 2: funny and there's this expression of the feeling, but then

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Speaker 2: there's the deep pain and the stress that comes from it.

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Speaker 2: Were there particular romantic experiences that were hard for you

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Speaker 2: to get over. Was a lot of our audience is

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Speaker 2: struggling with breakups, is struggling with missing their access, struggling

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Speaker 2: with trying to move on and find the right person.

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Speaker 2: What have you been through that you could share with

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Speaker 2: those people that may.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, okay, so I be real clear with you. I

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Speaker 1: the people that I was missing, I probably shouldn't have

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Speaker 1: been missing, right, Like the ones that like inflicted a

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Speaker 1: lot of physical pain on me, the ones that afflicted

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Speaker 1: emotional pain on me. I think I talked about one

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Speaker 1: of them in this book. I talked about the excellent

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Speaker 1: other book, but this book, Like, okay, so I had this, like,

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Speaker 1: you know, Homie lovel friend for a long time, a long, long,

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Speaker 1: long long time. He's very disrespectful to me, very kind

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Speaker 1: of messed up to me. But in my mind we

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Speaker 1: was we could get married. We had the most beautiful babies.

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Speaker 1: He handsome, I'm pretty like it would be so cool.

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Speaker 1: He's smart and intellectual. I'm kind of smart. I think

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Speaker 1: like it would be fun. We have the best conversations,

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Speaker 1: like we have fun. But then he would treat me

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Speaker 1: like crap, right, so like and I would I would

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Speaker 1: subject myself to that man and I would be like

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Speaker 1: happy to be in his presence, but at the same time,

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Speaker 1: when he's not, I'll be hurting so bad, hurting so

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Speaker 1: bad like and feeding for him like a like kind

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Speaker 1: of like I don't know what it's like to do

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Speaker 1: like hard drugs, but I'm imagining that's the hard drug

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Speaker 1: right there, the d that D like when we really

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Speaker 1: like like that could be the hard drug and breaking

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Speaker 1: myself from that and that would be like, Okay, what

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Speaker 1: else do you love? What else do you care about?

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Speaker 1: Put your energy into something else? I see now like

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Speaker 1: all online like oh, Tiffany's feeding for She's still pining

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Speaker 1: over this guy that she was dating, Like that was fun.

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Speaker 1: That relationship was fun. Only thing I'm miss about the

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Speaker 1: relationship is the fun. Everything else was like, eh, cool,

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Speaker 1: But we had a lot of fun And people I

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Speaker 1: have fun with. I miss all of them when I

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Speaker 1: don't get to see them often when I don't talk

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Speaker 1: to them, I miss all of them, even if they

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Speaker 1: were about influence. I miss them all. But I'm not like,

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Speaker 1: oh God, I gotta have the more talking mess about them,

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Speaker 1: Like no, I genuinely love that person, wish them the best.

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Speaker 1: I'm busy doing this now, they're busy doing that.

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Speaker 2: Now.

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Speaker 1: Cool. But was there a particular like, yeah, that want

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Speaker 1: that homey loove of friend who was like on and

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Speaker 1: off for like almost twenty years.

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Speaker 2: Oh wow, twenty years.

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Speaker 1: I can be loyal. I can be loyal with the

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Speaker 1: homilove of friends. You know. It's like, oh, we're not

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Speaker 1: we all, but we're not in a relationship. But in

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Speaker 1: my mind I painted this, Yeah, we was married. I

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Speaker 1: was cooking for him and doing all kind of stuff like, no,

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Speaker 1: make sure his telephone stayed on so I could talk

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Speaker 1: to him. Stupid stuff, stupid, just dumb, just dumb. Then

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Speaker 1: like oh, I realized, okay, this is gonna go nowhere.

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Speaker 1: So I'm gonna go with this guy that likes me,

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Speaker 1: and then that don't like pan out because really I'm

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Speaker 1: still feeling over this too. Then okay that didn't work out. No, no, no,

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Speaker 1: I'm gonna get married. Somebody wanna marry me. I'm getting married.

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Speaker 1: You don't want to marry me, like you's don't marry me.

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Speaker 1: And then that didn't really head because I didn't want

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Speaker 1: to get small, like yeah, I didn't want to be small.

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Speaker 2: And then.

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Speaker 1: Then it was just like free for all. You know

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Speaker 1: what you're working with. What's up? Baby? You got as

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Speaker 1: long as you got a good credit score? What's your

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Speaker 1: credit score? Because that means you're gonna be responsible with

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Speaker 1: my heart at least I think you are. I hope

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Speaker 1: you are. And then but now I got a whole criteria.

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Speaker 2: What did you find that people that are good good

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Speaker 2: credit score? Did that have any correlation.

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Speaker 1: With I feel like it had a lot to do

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Speaker 1: with how they treat me. Good credit score, they're like

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Speaker 1: more responsible they show up on sho I noticed that. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: I saw that, like I would ask like, hey, do

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Speaker 1: you know your credit score? First of all, I think

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Speaker 1: that's something you should know because that's your grown up

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Speaker 1: poor card. I just want to see how responsible they were,

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Speaker 1: And most of them were very like I have yet

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Speaker 1: to meet somebody with a pretty high credit score that

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Speaker 1: wasn't like reliable.

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Speaker 2: You didn't find that you met people who were arrogant or.

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Speaker 1: Might be arrogant. They might have been like show, but

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Speaker 1: but they were responsible. I want somebody be responsible with

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Speaker 1: my heart, like it's I got a big heart, right,

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Speaker 1: I got a lot of love to give, and I'm

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Speaker 1: very forgiving and all that, but like, don't abuse it.

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Speaker 1: It's been abused enough, and I don't want to have

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Speaker 1: to like attack you. I don't want to have to

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Speaker 1: like be vicious with you. That's all. Like I would say,

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Speaker 1: the last like five relationships I've had, like I really

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Speaker 1: respect those dudes because they were they were kind with

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Speaker 1: my heart. You know, they for the best for what

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Speaker 1: they could. You know, they were good with my heart.

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Speaker 1: They didn't like get up where I'm just like f men,

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Speaker 1: bring on the pussies. I'm gay now. I think I'm

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Speaker 1: still like two or three heartbreaks away from that. Don't

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Speaker 1: even think that's the thing though for me. I really

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Speaker 1: think I'm a gay man. But that's that's neither here

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Speaker 1: nor there.

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Speaker 2: And what are you criteria? Now? You said, that's a

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Speaker 2: lot of information to man.

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Speaker 1: I think I was a man in my past, like

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Speaker 1: you believe in past lives.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, we were talking. I think we were messaging about this. Yeah.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, I think I was a man in my past life,

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Speaker 1: and I think I was a man that was kind

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Speaker 1: of messed up. I think I was like maybe I

378
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Speaker 1: had a really big penis, and I was a womanizer,

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Speaker 1: and maybe I was bisexual. Maybe I hurt a lot

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Speaker 1: of hearts and I felt like in this life, guy said, Okay,

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Speaker 1: I'm gonna you know, you're gonna suffer something, but you're

382
00:17:32,840 --> 00:17:36,360
Speaker 1: gonna win too. And I think that's why I got indometriosis.

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Speaker 1: I can really understand the pain of a woman, and

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Speaker 1: I understand the value of the heart.

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Speaker 2: My wife jokes with me that she thinks we were

386
00:17:44,119 --> 00:17:46,280
Speaker 2: married in our past life, but she was the guy

387
00:17:46,359 --> 00:17:49,480
Speaker 2: and I was the guns. Like the trade off because

388
00:17:49,480 --> 00:17:51,800
Speaker 2: I'm the romantic one. I'm the one writing her notes

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00:17:51,880 --> 00:17:54,040
Speaker 2: and messages and I want to do all the grand

390
00:17:54,119 --> 00:17:57,240
Speaker 2: gestures and stuff. I'm the one interior designing our home

391
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Speaker 2: and doing all of that stuff.

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Speaker 1: And she doesn't know. Now, She's like, let's get money

393
00:18:01,720 --> 00:18:03,760
Speaker 1: and go on the trip. Let's that's fun. Let's go

394
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Speaker 1: do an adventure.

395
00:18:04,880 --> 00:18:07,680
Speaker 2: Yeah, I like an adventure. But you were saying, you

396
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Speaker 2: have criteria. Now what are the What are the criteria

397
00:18:10,680 --> 00:18:11,480
Speaker 2: today different to.

398
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Speaker 1: The Okay, So now that I'm older, I can't have

399
00:18:14,320 --> 00:18:16,520
Speaker 1: that criteria like, oh, he can't have no kids because

400
00:18:17,080 --> 00:18:21,639
Speaker 1: we're older now. So I expect, like, if he has kids, cool,

401
00:18:21,720 --> 00:18:24,959
Speaker 1: but they need to be like grown eighteen or over. Uh,

402
00:18:25,119 --> 00:18:27,520
Speaker 1: because I don't want to deal like with baby mama drama,

403
00:18:27,560 --> 00:18:30,480
Speaker 1: and I feel like, you know, I'm gonna I like

404
00:18:30,520 --> 00:18:34,080
Speaker 1: communicating like an adult. Also, it needs to have his

405
00:18:34,200 --> 00:18:36,879
Speaker 1: own career or some sort of business. You know what

406
00:18:36,920 --> 00:18:39,000
Speaker 1: I'm saying. He needs to have like an EI in number.

407
00:18:39,400 --> 00:18:41,879
Speaker 1: I think that's really important. He knows how to need

408
00:18:41,960 --> 00:18:44,320
Speaker 1: to know how to run something, because you know men,

409
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Speaker 1: I think men like to have control and power over

410
00:18:47,000 --> 00:18:48,520
Speaker 1: women and run and run women and want to be

411
00:18:48,560 --> 00:18:51,800
Speaker 1: the leader. What can you how's your business? Does your

412
00:18:51,840 --> 00:18:54,480
Speaker 1: business run well or do you have do you have

413
00:18:54,600 --> 00:18:57,600
Speaker 1: long term employees? Do you like? Is that doing well?

414
00:18:57,800 --> 00:18:57,840
Speaker 2: Like?

415
00:18:57,880 --> 00:19:00,800
Speaker 1: Because because now I'm if I'm gonna give you access

416
00:19:00,920 --> 00:19:02,879
Speaker 1: to me, I need to know that you know how

417
00:19:02,880 --> 00:19:05,760
Speaker 1: to do that good credit score. Now I will forgive

418
00:19:05,760 --> 00:19:07,400
Speaker 1: if maybe your credit score fell off for a minute

419
00:19:07,400 --> 00:19:09,880
Speaker 1: because you had to go to the doctor, something happens,

420
00:19:09,960 --> 00:19:12,159
Speaker 1: you know whatever. Okay, I might could forgive that, But

421
00:19:12,240 --> 00:19:14,440
Speaker 1: then also I want you to be physically healthy and fit,

422
00:19:14,680 --> 00:19:17,000
Speaker 1: So maybe you better be on top of your health

423
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Speaker 1: because I'm trying my best with mine and I don't

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Speaker 1: want to be changing nobody's diapers. That's grown if you

425
00:19:24,000 --> 00:19:25,800
Speaker 1: have puper cares. I don't think I should be changing

426
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Speaker 1: your diaper.

427
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Speaker 2: Yeah, I find I find that to be the biggest one.

428
00:19:28,840 --> 00:19:33,320
Speaker 2: Like I find so many people don't grow up to

429
00:19:33,720 --> 00:19:35,880
Speaker 2: so much later in life. And I find so many

430
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Speaker 2: of my friends, either with guys or girls or whoever

431
00:19:38,600 --> 00:19:41,879
Speaker 2: may be, that feel young like they feel like they

432
00:19:41,920 --> 00:19:45,200
Speaker 2: are the person's parent. Yeah, they're their partner's parent. And

433
00:19:45,280 --> 00:19:47,359
Speaker 2: then I don't want that they're cooking for them, cleaning

434
00:19:47,400 --> 00:19:49,040
Speaker 2: for them, taking care of all of this stuff. It's

435
00:19:49,119 --> 00:19:51,720
Speaker 2: it's it's bizarre to me that we're still living in

436
00:19:51,760 --> 00:19:52,120
Speaker 2: that time.

437
00:19:52,280 --> 00:19:54,000
Speaker 1: Yeah, I don't want to feel like I'm your parent.

438
00:19:54,080 --> 00:19:55,600
Speaker 1: I don't want to feel like I'm your doctor. But

439
00:19:55,640 --> 00:19:57,440
Speaker 1: if you got like a colde or something, or you

440
00:19:57,520 --> 00:19:59,600
Speaker 1: feeling like you got a little back pain, I love

441
00:19:59,640 --> 00:20:01,639
Speaker 1: a rep back and and I come up with it

442
00:20:01,720 --> 00:20:04,320
Speaker 1: lixies and stuff to make you feel better or whatever. Yeah,

443
00:20:04,400 --> 00:20:07,040
Speaker 1: but you need to come already showing up pretty healthy.

444
00:20:07,560 --> 00:20:10,600
Speaker 1: Like think of this like the military. Oh, these are lixis.

445
00:20:10,640 --> 00:20:13,040
Speaker 1: You know, we got ginger, we got to them a rigg.

446
00:20:13,320 --> 00:20:15,879
Speaker 1: You know, we got the little vitamins and nutrients you know,

447
00:20:17,320 --> 00:20:22,120
Speaker 1: ola vera things for my garden. I grow this stuff. Yeah,

448
00:20:22,240 --> 00:20:24,399
Speaker 1: I grow food like and also I needed God. It's

449
00:20:24,480 --> 00:20:27,080
Speaker 1: not afraid to get a little dirty, you know, help

450
00:20:27,119 --> 00:20:29,320
Speaker 1: me in the garden, Like, don't be afraid of bees

451
00:20:29,400 --> 00:20:31,879
Speaker 1: and stuff, because I got bees and harvest.

452
00:20:32,200 --> 00:20:32,960
Speaker 2: Do you have the food?

453
00:20:33,640 --> 00:20:35,520
Speaker 1: Yeah, I got the whole suit, but I don't barely.

454
00:20:35,720 --> 00:20:37,240
Speaker 1: I barely. I don't know why you call it has

455
00:20:37,280 --> 00:20:41,280
Speaker 1: my city is what's the beekeeper suit? The bee keepers

456
00:20:42,080 --> 00:20:44,840
Speaker 1: keep you from being stun But I also so most

457
00:20:44,840 --> 00:20:46,520
Speaker 1: of the time I sit out there with no suit on.

458
00:20:46,720 --> 00:20:48,920
Speaker 1: I just sit and talk to them, listen to them,

459
00:20:49,240 --> 00:20:52,359
Speaker 1: like sing to the bees. One time, I don't know,

460
00:20:52,359 --> 00:20:54,320
Speaker 1: I'll be sitting there counting like, oh, I got a

461
00:20:54,400 --> 00:20:56,480
Speaker 1: hundred bees, Like they don't. They don't sit on me

462
00:20:56,760 --> 00:20:59,639
Speaker 1: like that. They they be around me. I'll be singing,

463
00:21:00,080 --> 00:21:04,960
Speaker 1: telling them stories, telling jokes, maybe complaining. I'm pretty sure

464
00:21:05,040 --> 00:21:07,680
Speaker 1: my neighbors hear me. So maybe the neighbors feel like

465
00:21:07,720 --> 00:21:09,639
Speaker 1: I'm like crazy talking to myself or talking on the

466
00:21:09,680 --> 00:21:12,000
Speaker 1: phone or whatever. I know, I sing songs to them

467
00:21:12,520 --> 00:21:15,560
Speaker 1: all the time. My favorite song is that I know

468
00:21:15,600 --> 00:21:17,240
Speaker 1: the bees are probably like why she's singing this song

469
00:21:17,320 --> 00:21:19,920
Speaker 1: to us? But I like, but if like, come in here,

470
00:21:20,359 --> 00:21:24,119
Speaker 1: you sad upon my head, I will not harm you.

471
00:21:24,640 --> 00:21:28,919
Speaker 1: I never need alarm you. I want to see your

472
00:21:29,119 --> 00:21:36,120
Speaker 1: pretty weens, tiny, dainty, colorful things, orange and yellow, pretty fellow,

473
00:21:36,200 --> 00:21:38,800
Speaker 1: And I changed the colors every time. Whoa, I sing that,

474
00:21:39,000 --> 00:21:41,320
Speaker 1: and then I sing skinning Marinky dinky to the songs

475
00:21:41,320 --> 00:21:42,040
Speaker 1: that make me happy.

476
00:21:42,320 --> 00:21:42,560
Speaker 2: Wow.

477
00:21:42,680 --> 00:21:44,600
Speaker 1: I sing to them mostly when I'm stressed out, I

478
00:21:44,640 --> 00:21:45,640
Speaker 1: go sit out with the bees.

479
00:21:46,280 --> 00:21:48,720
Speaker 2: So you when you're stressed out, you sing sing to

480
00:21:48,800 --> 00:21:49,200
Speaker 2: the bees.

481
00:21:49,440 --> 00:21:52,520
Speaker 1: Yeah, outdoors, yeah, set outdoors, lay in the grass next

482
00:21:52,560 --> 00:21:54,760
Speaker 1: to them. Sometimes I just listen to them and imagine

483
00:21:54,800 --> 00:21:57,879
Speaker 1: they telling me stories, and I'm just really listening to

484
00:21:57,960 --> 00:22:01,119
Speaker 1: the hive buzz and it's they say that there's a

485
00:22:01,400 --> 00:22:03,560
Speaker 1: the C tone or there's a tone in a bee

486
00:22:03,600 --> 00:22:05,440
Speaker 1: hot that helps get rid of PTSD.

487
00:22:05,840 --> 00:22:06,359
Speaker 2: I didn't know that.

488
00:22:06,520 --> 00:22:09,040
Speaker 1: Wow, Yeah, that's that's what they say. When I was

489
00:22:09,080 --> 00:22:10,920
Speaker 1: doing my research on bees, that was something like that,

490
00:22:11,160 --> 00:22:17,080
Speaker 1: the noise of a hive helps with PTSD. So I

491
00:22:17,280 --> 00:22:17,919
Speaker 1: like that noise.

492
00:22:18,320 --> 00:22:21,040
Speaker 2: Wow, that's fascinating. And that you learned while you were

493
00:22:21,040 --> 00:22:22,720
Speaker 2: getting the bees were afterwards.

494
00:22:22,520 --> 00:22:24,679
Speaker 1: And once I got the bees, Yeah, once I got

495
00:22:24,720 --> 00:22:26,479
Speaker 1: the bees, I learned that, you know. I was like, oh,

496
00:22:26,520 --> 00:22:30,680
Speaker 1: I'm in a relationship now with thousands. Let's let's figure

497
00:22:30,720 --> 00:22:36,000
Speaker 1: this out. There's a queen bee, I'm the I'm the

498
00:22:36,400 --> 00:22:39,680
Speaker 1: master queen. Now I'm the friend of the bees. I

499
00:22:39,840 --> 00:22:43,080
Speaker 1: feed them. I give them like you know, spiralina with

500
00:22:43,280 --> 00:22:47,679
Speaker 1: some sugar water or some like chlorophyll with sugar water and.

501
00:22:47,680 --> 00:22:50,560
Speaker 2: Stuff like you really to nature, like nature seems to be.

502
00:22:50,960 --> 00:22:53,719
Speaker 1: I love nature. That's where I can like, you can

503
00:22:53,840 --> 00:22:55,720
Speaker 1: go sit in a tree, like in the trees, but

504
00:22:55,840 --> 00:22:57,800
Speaker 1: I do be in the tree. Sometimes you can go

505
00:22:57,960 --> 00:23:00,480
Speaker 1: sit near the trees, in the trees and you could cry,

506
00:23:00,520 --> 00:23:01,880
Speaker 1: and the trees are not gonna be like what's wrong

507
00:23:01,920 --> 00:23:05,119
Speaker 1: with you? You know, if anything that like blow the

508
00:23:05,200 --> 00:23:07,320
Speaker 1: leaves and like rub your shoulder or something.

509
00:23:07,400 --> 00:23:07,560
Speaker 2: You know.

510
00:23:07,880 --> 00:23:11,200
Speaker 1: Yeah, wow, in my mind, that's what I imagine. Yeah,

511
00:23:11,600 --> 00:23:13,200
Speaker 1: I have a very vivid imagination.

512
00:23:14,119 --> 00:23:16,000
Speaker 2: And has that always been like that since you were young?

513
00:23:16,359 --> 00:23:17,320
Speaker 1: Always been like that?

514
00:23:18,240 --> 00:23:19,679
Speaker 2: Do you have an imagine your friend growing up?

515
00:23:19,880 --> 00:23:20,080
Speaker 1: Yes?

516
00:23:20,200 --> 00:23:20,520
Speaker 2: I did.

517
00:23:20,680 --> 00:23:21,200
Speaker 1: I had too.

518
00:23:21,440 --> 00:23:22,280
Speaker 2: What were their names?

519
00:23:24,119 --> 00:23:30,800
Speaker 1: Carbalita and uh Cracker. Cracker was a bird and I

520
00:23:30,880 --> 00:23:32,680
Speaker 1: used to be like Cracker went to Polly and I

521
00:23:32,720 --> 00:23:35,879
Speaker 1: would break Crackers up on my shoulders, and it was

522
00:23:35,960 --> 00:23:38,639
Speaker 1: really the imaginary friends was to make real friends.

523
00:23:39,240 --> 00:23:41,560
Speaker 2: I mean they were a coping mechanism for kids as well.

524
00:23:41,680 --> 00:23:44,879
Speaker 1: For sure, coping mechanism I felt in my mind they

525
00:23:44,960 --> 00:23:47,399
Speaker 1: listened to everything I said. I know exactly what they

526
00:23:47,480 --> 00:23:49,800
Speaker 1: look like in my mind. I used to really rock

527
00:23:49,840 --> 00:23:52,760
Speaker 1: them hard in junior high and uh. We used to

528
00:23:52,800 --> 00:23:55,120
Speaker 1: be like cracker, what's that's the number seven? And they'd

529
00:23:55,119 --> 00:23:57,159
Speaker 1: be like, Tiffany's being racist. I'm like, no, I'm not.

530
00:23:57,240 --> 00:24:03,520
Speaker 1: I'm talking to my bird and Carbelita and Carbelita yeah,

531
00:24:03,640 --> 00:24:05,119
Speaker 1: she's like a Puerto Rican mimmy.

532
00:24:05,960 --> 00:24:07,840
Speaker 2: Yeah yeah, and it was her role.

533
00:24:08,240 --> 00:24:10,480
Speaker 1: Her role was like to keep people away from me.

534
00:24:11,320 --> 00:24:11,520
Speaker 2: Yeah.

535
00:24:11,560 --> 00:24:13,320
Speaker 1: So I'd be like, oh, you can't sit here, Carbulita

536
00:24:13,359 --> 00:24:15,960
Speaker 1: sitting there, you can't sit right there, just her seed,

537
00:24:16,600 --> 00:24:18,440
Speaker 1: you know. Carbeleta said that you're cute.

538
00:24:19,320 --> 00:24:19,520
Speaker 2: Yeah.

539
00:24:19,720 --> 00:24:21,760
Speaker 1: She want to know if you want to share your

540
00:24:21,800 --> 00:24:22,639
Speaker 1: coffee cake with her?

541
00:24:23,160 --> 00:24:25,399
Speaker 2: Yeah. So she was that in between that go between

542
00:24:25,480 --> 00:24:26,720
Speaker 2: them and it comes close.

543
00:24:27,320 --> 00:24:29,040
Speaker 1: Yeah, And people would laugh. They'd be like, gro you're

544
00:24:29,080 --> 00:24:29,760
Speaker 1: silly as here.

545
00:24:30,480 --> 00:24:33,080
Speaker 2: It's fascinating, isn't it. I feel like the whole idea

546
00:24:33,200 --> 00:24:36,120
Speaker 2: of imagine any friends. It's like if you thought about

547
00:24:36,119 --> 00:24:37,920
Speaker 2: that when you were young, you'd laugh at it, but

548
00:24:38,000 --> 00:24:39,399
Speaker 2: now when you look back, you're like, oh, wait, there

549
00:24:39,520 --> 00:24:42,240
Speaker 2: was a role that that person played that I didn't

550
00:24:42,240 --> 00:24:44,719
Speaker 2: have someone else playing in my life, so I created someone.

551
00:24:45,160 --> 00:24:47,080
Speaker 1: Yeah, I would be like, my sister would be trying

552
00:24:47,080 --> 00:24:49,280
Speaker 1: to play with me, like, you can't play carbon Leita says,

553
00:24:49,359 --> 00:24:51,680
Speaker 1: she's doing this one, you can't do that, when Carbeleta

554
00:24:51,680 --> 00:24:53,440
Speaker 1: didn't really, I just didn't want my sister to be

555
00:24:53,960 --> 00:24:55,080
Speaker 1: doing it, but I didn't want to tell her. I

556
00:24:55,119 --> 00:24:56,920
Speaker 1: don't want you to do it, so I said Carba

557
00:24:56,960 --> 00:24:59,280
Speaker 1: Leeda didn't want her. Yeah, what it was really me,

558
00:25:00,320 --> 00:25:01,240
Speaker 1: I really didn't want her.

559
00:25:01,200 --> 00:25:03,040
Speaker 2: Do So you told us the best things about being

560
00:25:03,119 --> 00:25:05,679
Speaker 2: Tiffany Haadish, Tiffany, what are the worst things about being

561
00:25:05,720 --> 00:25:06,480
Speaker 2: Tiffany Headish?

562
00:25:06,680 --> 00:25:09,320
Speaker 1: The worst thing about being Tiffany Haddish is Tiviny Hadis

563
00:25:09,440 --> 00:25:12,840
Speaker 1: is always under attack and got to just let that happen.

564
00:25:12,920 --> 00:25:15,399
Speaker 1: I guess, I guess that's just a part of being famous.

565
00:25:15,480 --> 00:25:17,880
Speaker 1: But also I just feel like that's been my whole life.

566
00:25:17,920 --> 00:25:22,000
Speaker 1: It's always somebody's been hating, somebody's talking mess somebody. But

567
00:25:22,960 --> 00:25:24,960
Speaker 1: at least back in the nineteen hundreds, people did it

568
00:25:25,000 --> 00:25:27,320
Speaker 1: to your face or if they talk behind your back.

569
00:25:27,400 --> 00:25:29,360
Speaker 1: If somebody told you they was talking behind your back,

570
00:25:29,640 --> 00:25:31,200
Speaker 1: then you went up to approach them and say you

571
00:25:31,320 --> 00:25:33,639
Speaker 1: say this about me, they would either say yes or no.

572
00:25:34,320 --> 00:25:37,600
Speaker 1: Like there would be like you know, accounting, You could

573
00:25:37,640 --> 00:25:40,520
Speaker 1: hold someone accountable for what they were saying. Even if

574
00:25:40,560 --> 00:25:42,359
Speaker 1: there was a reporter. You know, you could call up

575
00:25:42,400 --> 00:25:44,760
Speaker 1: to the newspaper and say, I want to talk to

576
00:25:44,840 --> 00:25:47,199
Speaker 1: this reporter, why you say this about me? And then

577
00:25:47,240 --> 00:25:49,240
Speaker 1: they'll tell you why they said what they said. Right,

578
00:25:49,320 --> 00:25:53,440
Speaker 1: But now it's like everybody say whatever they want and

579
00:25:53,600 --> 00:25:56,439
Speaker 1: they think they can't be touched. But that's why I'm

580
00:25:56,480 --> 00:25:59,920
Speaker 1: investing in technology. Well, yeah, allow me to be able

581
00:25:59,960 --> 00:26:02,480
Speaker 1: to call them. Okay, why you feel like this?

582
00:26:02,760 --> 00:26:03,920
Speaker 2: What did I do to you?

583
00:26:04,119 --> 00:26:05,840
Speaker 1: Did I sleep with your man? And I don't know it?

584
00:26:06,280 --> 00:26:09,520
Speaker 1: What's the issue with you? Why are you putting out

585
00:26:09,560 --> 00:26:12,399
Speaker 1: such mean words? I mean, I think it's so crazy

586
00:26:12,480 --> 00:26:15,600
Speaker 1: right now with social media, because I mean, suicide with

587
00:26:15,680 --> 00:26:19,920
Speaker 1: teenagers right now is at all with children all time high,

588
00:26:20,200 --> 00:26:23,280
Speaker 1: higher than it's ever been in the history of humans.

589
00:26:23,359 --> 00:26:26,960
Speaker 1: Because they can read and they're seeing what people say

590
00:26:27,520 --> 00:26:29,159
Speaker 1: like I work with a lot of foster youths and

591
00:26:29,280 --> 00:26:31,040
Speaker 1: my kids they be telling me they want they don't

592
00:26:31,040 --> 00:26:32,920
Speaker 1: want me to be famous no more because they don't

593
00:26:33,000 --> 00:26:35,120
Speaker 1: like what people saying about me, and it makes them cry.

594
00:26:35,480 --> 00:26:38,640
Speaker 1: It hurts them so while, and I'm like, don't worry.

595
00:26:38,640 --> 00:26:40,800
Speaker 1: It doesn't bother me. I'm used to it. That's normal.

596
00:26:40,920 --> 00:26:42,800
Speaker 1: It's normal. If I was if I didn't have people

597
00:26:42,840 --> 00:26:45,160
Speaker 1: talking mess about me, then I wouldn't be doing good.

598
00:26:45,280 --> 00:26:47,600
Speaker 1: I mean, do you believe in Jesus. If you believe

599
00:26:47,640 --> 00:26:50,359
Speaker 1: in Jesus, everybody was talking mess about him too, and

600
00:26:50,440 --> 00:26:52,320
Speaker 1: then look, you know, and look what happened. You know.

601
00:26:52,600 --> 00:26:55,000
Speaker 1: They're like, I don't want you to be assassinated like Jesus.

602
00:26:55,040 --> 00:26:58,080
Speaker 1: I don't want you to die. Like I'm not gonna die, Okay,

603
00:26:58,200 --> 00:27:01,400
Speaker 1: I will die, but I'm to die that way. I'm

604
00:27:01,400 --> 00:27:03,560
Speaker 1: pretty sure. I hope I die during sex, but I'm

605
00:27:03,640 --> 00:27:06,520
Speaker 1: not gonna die in that way, I don't think. But

606
00:27:06,840 --> 00:27:08,920
Speaker 1: you know, and I don't know, but like we can't

607
00:27:09,080 --> 00:27:11,840
Speaker 1: fester on that and don't just block that person, just

608
00:27:12,200 --> 00:27:15,320
Speaker 1: taking those negative words off your thing, like block those words.

609
00:27:16,000 --> 00:27:17,800
Speaker 1: But I would love to be able to just call

610
00:27:17,920 --> 00:27:21,200
Speaker 1: these people because what I've what I found is the

611
00:27:21,280 --> 00:27:24,920
Speaker 1: people that behaving usually they really love me. They really

612
00:27:25,000 --> 00:27:27,960
Speaker 1: they study me super hard. They spend hours and hours

613
00:27:28,359 --> 00:27:32,320
Speaker 1: making videos and like just saying mean stuff and talking

614
00:27:32,400 --> 00:27:36,320
Speaker 1: to But you spend hours of your life studying me.

615
00:27:36,880 --> 00:27:40,360
Speaker 1: There's some love there, there's so you gotta really care

616
00:27:40,440 --> 00:27:44,040
Speaker 1: about me to a certain sense. I'm honored, but it

617
00:27:44,320 --> 00:27:46,520
Speaker 1: sucks because you're not brave enough to say it to

618
00:27:46,640 --> 00:27:48,960
Speaker 1: my face that I'll run into a matter party and

619
00:27:48,960 --> 00:27:50,200
Speaker 1: they be like, oh, can I get a picture, And

620
00:27:50,240 --> 00:27:52,560
Speaker 1: I'm like, why, why do you want a picture with me?

621
00:27:52,720 --> 00:27:52,760
Speaker 2: You?

622
00:27:53,000 --> 00:27:55,359
Speaker 1: You did a horribly mean video about me?

623
00:27:55,760 --> 00:27:56,800
Speaker 2: Oh you saw that?

624
00:27:57,000 --> 00:28:00,119
Speaker 1: You saw? Yeah? I saw you put my name in

625
00:28:00,280 --> 00:28:03,520
Speaker 1: the title. You don't think the algorithm is gonna shoot

626
00:28:03,520 --> 00:28:05,399
Speaker 1: me things that got my name in it when Google

627
00:28:05,480 --> 00:28:07,840
Speaker 1: first came out. Blame all of them when they first

628
00:28:07,880 --> 00:28:09,680
Speaker 1: came out. What's the first thing you looked up? I

629
00:28:09,800 --> 00:28:12,720
Speaker 1: looked up my name, and so the algorithm knows I

630
00:28:12,840 --> 00:28:16,680
Speaker 1: care about me, so it's gonna send me the stuff

631
00:28:16,760 --> 00:28:22,320
Speaker 1: about me. So you what's seeing? I see you, and

632
00:28:22,320 --> 00:28:24,960
Speaker 1: I'm gonna tell you to your face because I'm not fake.

633
00:28:25,880 --> 00:28:28,280
Speaker 1: I'm an actual human and I wish it was the

634
00:28:28,400 --> 00:28:31,000
Speaker 1: nineteen hundreds where you could slap somebody for talking shit.

635
00:28:31,560 --> 00:28:33,760
Speaker 1: But now you can't even slap nobody no more. They

636
00:28:33,800 --> 00:28:36,520
Speaker 1: want to sue you or whatever, like punks.

637
00:28:38,520 --> 00:28:40,800
Speaker 2: So that's that's that's that's the worst part.

638
00:28:40,840 --> 00:28:43,160
Speaker 1: That's all right here because I really want to fight,

639
00:28:43,320 --> 00:28:45,400
Speaker 1: but I can't. I can't. No, it's not a battle

640
00:28:45,440 --> 00:28:49,600
Speaker 1: worth fighting, right, But on my period, I will use

641
00:28:49,720 --> 00:28:52,920
Speaker 1: my my fake little page and I will chime in

642
00:28:53,000 --> 00:28:55,000
Speaker 1: a little bit. Oh is it take it back to

643
00:28:55,080 --> 00:28:58,840
Speaker 1: the yeah, fence to that's what they call it, right, fake,

644
00:28:58,960 --> 00:29:01,800
Speaker 1: a fake instant, but it's not an instant. It's a

645
00:29:02,160 --> 00:29:02,880
Speaker 1: it's a Twitter.

646
00:29:03,320 --> 00:29:03,800
Speaker 2: It's a Twitter.

647
00:29:03,920 --> 00:29:09,240
Speaker 1: Okay, sox X yeah, yeah, yeah, Sarah be going in Okay, yeah,

648
00:29:09,880 --> 00:29:11,800
Speaker 1: how does that help? It feels good.

649
00:29:11,920 --> 00:29:12,480
Speaker 2: It feels good.

650
00:29:12,600 --> 00:29:13,680
Speaker 1: It's like a little release.

651
00:29:14,000 --> 00:29:16,400
Speaker 2: And this is Sarah kind of like called Thelito who's

652
00:29:16,440 --> 00:29:18,280
Speaker 2: like protecting Tiffany.

653
00:29:18,000 --> 00:29:19,440
Speaker 1: Or no, Sarah's my middle name.

654
00:29:19,520 --> 00:29:19,840
Speaker 2: It's me.

655
00:29:23,280 --> 00:29:25,280
Speaker 1: It's me. But I would love to develop like an

656
00:29:25,360 --> 00:29:28,760
Speaker 1: AI boyfriend that like protects me and like make him

657
00:29:28,800 --> 00:29:31,640
Speaker 1: look really good and stuff, and he have the you know,

658
00:29:31,760 --> 00:29:34,520
Speaker 1: Instagram count and just like program him to protect me

659
00:29:34,760 --> 00:29:38,520
Speaker 1: and to like shut down people and like, yeah, but

660
00:29:38,680 --> 00:29:42,200
Speaker 1: I found out. I hired a forensic tech guy, and

661
00:29:42,280 --> 00:29:44,120
Speaker 1: I found out, like seventy five percent of the hate

662
00:29:44,160 --> 00:29:47,200
Speaker 1: I get is bots, it's not even real people. And

663
00:29:47,280 --> 00:29:49,760
Speaker 1: the other twenty five percent is people responding to the

664
00:29:49,800 --> 00:29:52,480
Speaker 1: bots or making making videos because of what they read

665
00:29:52,520 --> 00:29:54,680
Speaker 1: from the bots. Oh my god, not even real. A

666
00:29:54,760 --> 00:29:57,920
Speaker 1: lot of these articles be AI articles, not even real articles.

667
00:29:58,160 --> 00:30:01,440
Speaker 1: No way, Yeah it's my but that's how powerful my

668
00:30:01,560 --> 00:30:04,600
Speaker 1: name is. Like that's at least that's what they make

669
00:30:04,680 --> 00:30:08,280
Speaker 1: me think, Like my name is so dope, like they

670
00:30:08,360 --> 00:30:10,640
Speaker 1: want those clicks, they want that, you know, like I

671
00:30:11,000 --> 00:30:14,040
Speaker 1: did this, Like I got all these clicks now, all

672
00:30:14,080 --> 00:30:17,520
Speaker 1: these followers because I talked about Tiffany like it's kind

673
00:30:17,560 --> 00:30:20,200
Speaker 1: of dope. It's kind of dope. It's kind of dope,

674
00:30:20,200 --> 00:30:22,280
Speaker 1: but key like hot words will bring in the bats.

675
00:30:22,600 --> 00:30:25,800
Speaker 2: Yeah. Yeah, wow, I'm learning a lot from you today.

676
00:30:25,840 --> 00:30:28,600
Speaker 1: Yeah yeah, you get hire sex said, it's like, yeah,

677
00:30:28,600 --> 00:30:29,800
Speaker 1: I'm multi fasted.

678
00:30:31,040 --> 00:30:34,200
Speaker 2: It's great, it's amazing. I love how curious your mind is.

679
00:30:35,040 --> 00:30:38,480
Speaker 2: I've already learned about bees, Like it's fascinating, fascinating. I

680
00:30:38,560 --> 00:30:41,840
Speaker 2: want to go backwards, Tiffany because I feel like one

681
00:30:41,880 --> 00:30:43,120
Speaker 2: of the things you do in this book is you

682
00:30:43,200 --> 00:30:47,840
Speaker 2: really let us into some of the the trauma, the challenges,

683
00:30:48,120 --> 00:30:50,200
Speaker 2: the difficult experiences. And as I said to you before,

684
00:30:50,960 --> 00:30:53,360
Speaker 2: what I find amazing about the way you communicate is

685
00:30:53,440 --> 00:30:57,240
Speaker 2: that we feel what you felt, even if we've not

686
00:30:57,400 --> 00:30:59,520
Speaker 2: been there. And I think the way you're writing this

687
00:30:59,600 --> 00:31:02,440
Speaker 2: book is really powerful. Like you said earlier, you said,

688
00:31:02,560 --> 00:31:05,200
Speaker 2: I think I'm smart. You're smart because the way you

689
00:31:05,600 --> 00:31:09,960
Speaker 2: express yourself lands and resonates even if you just read

690
00:31:10,040 --> 00:31:12,440
Speaker 2: one or two lines that just grab hold of you.

691
00:31:12,760 --> 00:31:14,520
Speaker 2: And at the same time, you're making everyone love through

692
00:31:14,560 --> 00:31:16,360
Speaker 2: the book too. But I want to kind of go

693
00:31:16,440 --> 00:31:20,400
Speaker 2: backwards because you did have a really you've had you

694
00:31:20,520 --> 00:31:24,240
Speaker 2: had many different challenging, traumatic relationships in your life. I

695
00:31:24,320 --> 00:31:27,400
Speaker 2: want to start with your mother because she went through

696
00:31:27,440 --> 00:31:31,120
Speaker 2: something horrific herself, which when I when I read about

697
00:31:31,160 --> 00:31:33,920
Speaker 2: that was I can't even believe what she's had to

698
00:31:34,000 --> 00:31:36,040
Speaker 2: go through. And then how it impact on you. I

699
00:31:36,120 --> 00:31:38,959
Speaker 2: was gonna ask you, has that relationship ever had an

700
00:31:38,960 --> 00:31:42,400
Speaker 2: opportunity to heal or improve? Like is better possible?

701
00:31:42,640 --> 00:31:45,000
Speaker 1: Better and better every day, better and better every day

702
00:31:45,000 --> 00:31:48,680
Speaker 1: because I have a better understanding you know I used

703
00:31:48,680 --> 00:31:50,720
Speaker 1: to be really mad at her and really like upset

704
00:31:50,800 --> 00:31:53,400
Speaker 1: with her, like just take your meds. Just just heal already,

705
00:31:53,560 --> 00:31:58,560
Speaker 1: just be back to my mommy, my, like my everything.

706
00:31:58,960 --> 00:32:02,120
Speaker 1: You know. I just think about this time when like

707
00:32:02,280 --> 00:32:06,520
Speaker 1: I love that woman, I like really really really loved

708
00:32:06,600 --> 00:32:11,800
Speaker 1: that woman, like like immensely, Like that's my first love.

709
00:32:12,240 --> 00:32:16,320
Speaker 1: This woman fed me, clothed me, taught me. I loved

710
00:32:16,400 --> 00:32:18,640
Speaker 1: this woman. And it's like she came back from that

711
00:32:18,800 --> 00:32:23,840
Speaker 1: accident somebody else, not not the woman that I love.

712
00:32:24,680 --> 00:32:27,160
Speaker 1: But that's her. That's her meat suit, that's her body,

713
00:32:27,640 --> 00:32:32,120
Speaker 1: but that's not my mommy. And I get glimpses of her.

714
00:32:32,160 --> 00:32:34,880
Speaker 1: And as time has gone by, and you know, I've

715
00:32:35,160 --> 00:32:38,000
Speaker 1: I've used my money to like get her the best

716
00:32:38,040 --> 00:32:39,959
Speaker 1: of the best and get her healthy and get her

717
00:32:40,080 --> 00:32:44,120
Speaker 1: on track, and and get get my sister the education.

718
00:32:44,200 --> 00:32:46,240
Speaker 1: My sister's helping me, like we help each other. We

719
00:32:46,480 --> 00:32:50,120
Speaker 1: we are working as a team, right, And to see

720
00:32:50,360 --> 00:32:56,360
Speaker 1: like the progress is like it's such a it's like okay,

721
00:32:56,840 --> 00:32:59,200
Speaker 1: where it's money's a root of all evil. But if

722
00:32:59,280 --> 00:33:01,640
Speaker 1: you know how to use it right, it's a tool.

723
00:33:01,800 --> 00:33:03,160
Speaker 1: If you know how to use it right, you can

724
00:33:03,280 --> 00:33:07,800
Speaker 1: to help like heal and get like glimpses of what was.

725
00:33:08,160 --> 00:33:12,760
Speaker 1: And I remember when I was a little girl. I

726
00:33:12,880 --> 00:33:14,960
Speaker 1: wanted to like just make her happy. That's all I

727
00:33:15,040 --> 00:33:17,200
Speaker 1: want to do, make her happy. And she would work

728
00:33:17,240 --> 00:33:21,400
Speaker 1: these graveyard hours at the post office. And I was

729
00:33:21,480 --> 00:33:23,920
Speaker 1: like three, and I wanted to make her eggs because

730
00:33:23,960 --> 00:33:26,280
Speaker 1: she would come in and make me eggs, right, And

731
00:33:26,360 --> 00:33:28,200
Speaker 1: I used to always try to cook for her. Always

732
00:33:28,240 --> 00:33:30,400
Speaker 1: I pull all the pots and pans and everything out,

733
00:33:30,480 --> 00:33:32,960
Speaker 1: like I'm gonna cook for my mommy, and I'm gonna

734
00:33:32,960 --> 00:33:36,880
Speaker 1: play music too, like or like waste all this food.

735
00:33:36,920 --> 00:33:39,400
Speaker 1: I'll put oat me a wishes. Shear saw its large season,

736
00:33:39,440 --> 00:33:41,000
Speaker 1: saw all this stuff in like she'd be like, no, no,

737
00:33:41,160 --> 00:33:43,040
Speaker 1: stop messing around my stuff, and I get a spanking.

738
00:33:43,640 --> 00:33:47,040
Speaker 1: There's one particular lady. I was determined to make her

739
00:33:47,120 --> 00:33:50,040
Speaker 1: some eggs. So I did everything I saw her do

740
00:33:50,200 --> 00:33:53,680
Speaker 1: the day before. So I got I got the eggs

741
00:33:53,720 --> 00:33:57,040
Speaker 1: out the refrigerator. I did all the eggs, all the eggs.

742
00:33:57,120 --> 00:33:58,880
Speaker 1: I didn't take the shelves off of them, put all

743
00:33:58,920 --> 00:34:01,720
Speaker 1: the eggs in this temperware. I started all up. I

744
00:34:01,840 --> 00:34:05,280
Speaker 1: put pepper, I put garlic, saw I put Larry season

745
00:34:05,400 --> 00:34:07,880
Speaker 1: and saw start them all up, start a mall up,

746
00:34:07,920 --> 00:34:10,239
Speaker 1: started all up. And then I turned on the fire

747
00:34:10,320 --> 00:34:12,160
Speaker 1: on the stuff and I just put the tough word

748
00:34:12,200 --> 00:34:14,440
Speaker 1: container on top of the fire, and I was stunting.

749
00:34:14,520 --> 00:34:16,879
Speaker 1: I was like, why is it not doing what it's

750
00:34:16,920 --> 00:34:19,440
Speaker 1: supposed to do? And then it's like plastic, it's like

751
00:34:19,600 --> 00:34:22,239
Speaker 1: smoking and it's burning. And my mom comes in there

752
00:34:22,640 --> 00:34:24,640
Speaker 1: and she had just got off work, right, so she's

753
00:34:24,640 --> 00:34:26,600
Speaker 1: in the bathroom. Whatever. My mom comes in, what are

754
00:34:26,600 --> 00:34:29,920
Speaker 1: you doing? She gives me a whooping, She turns, you know,

755
00:34:30,080 --> 00:34:32,200
Speaker 1: turns off the fire, cleans that, gives me a spanking, says,

756
00:34:32,200 --> 00:34:34,880
Speaker 1: you're not supposed to do this. You don't touch the stuff,

757
00:34:34,920 --> 00:34:37,040
Speaker 1: you don't this. And I was just like, oh, try

758
00:34:37,080 --> 00:34:42,160
Speaker 1: to make you, make you breakfast. And she stopped. And

759
00:34:42,280 --> 00:34:44,719
Speaker 1: this is what I loved about my mommy. This is

760
00:34:44,800 --> 00:34:47,680
Speaker 1: what she's the best mommy. She was the best, but

761
00:34:47,800 --> 00:34:50,960
Speaker 1: I loved about her. She stopped right and she was like,

762
00:34:51,120 --> 00:34:53,080
Speaker 1: I'm gonna teach you. If you gonna keep doing this,

763
00:34:53,239 --> 00:34:55,480
Speaker 1: I gotta teach you how to do this. So we

764
00:34:55,640 --> 00:34:59,120
Speaker 1: cleaned the stove and everything together. She got some wind,

765
00:34:59,160 --> 00:35:01,160
Speaker 1: got some more ask I had that all the eggs.

766
00:35:01,280 --> 00:35:03,000
Speaker 1: I had that all the eggs. She got more eggs

767
00:35:03,040 --> 00:35:04,960
Speaker 1: and stuff. We went to the grocery store. She said,

768
00:35:04,960 --> 00:35:06,400
Speaker 1: this how you buy the ass. This is how you this,

769
00:35:06,600 --> 00:35:09,359
Speaker 1: this how you that. We get home, she's like, okay,

770
00:35:09,360 --> 00:35:10,960
Speaker 1: I'm gonna show you how to make this. And she

771
00:35:11,320 --> 00:35:14,960
Speaker 1: got another tupperware bow. She said, this is just for mixing, okay,

772
00:35:15,360 --> 00:35:16,920
Speaker 1: and you use this and you do it dash like

773
00:35:17,040 --> 00:35:19,000
Speaker 1: that and do the dash and I do the dash

774
00:35:19,360 --> 00:35:21,120
Speaker 1: and she did you this, then the dash and I

775
00:35:21,239 --> 00:35:23,840
Speaker 1: did the dash and then then a dash right and

776
00:35:24,000 --> 00:35:26,040
Speaker 1: she's like stirring it up. She showed me how to

777
00:35:26,080 --> 00:35:27,799
Speaker 1: stir it up. I stir it up. And she said, okay,

778
00:35:27,880 --> 00:35:30,120
Speaker 1: when you see this skillet, there's a cast iron skill it.

779
00:35:30,239 --> 00:35:33,600
Speaker 1: You put the eggs in here, always in the cast iron,

780
00:35:34,080 --> 00:35:36,160
Speaker 1: and then you have to have butter tiff andy so

781
00:35:36,280 --> 00:35:39,000
Speaker 1: the eggs can slide. And then she sure give me

782
00:35:39,040 --> 00:35:40,680
Speaker 1: the butter and then she let me scoop the butter

783
00:35:40,719 --> 00:35:42,520
Speaker 1: and put the butter in there. And she said, now

784
00:35:42,560 --> 00:35:44,080
Speaker 1: you turn the fire on, but you don't turn it

785
00:35:44,160 --> 00:35:47,000
Speaker 1: on super high. You turn it on medium because you

786
00:35:47,000 --> 00:35:50,160
Speaker 1: don't want your eggs to burn. Okay. I'm like okay,

787
00:35:50,680 --> 00:35:53,279
Speaker 1: it's I turned it on medium and then she's like,

788
00:35:53,560 --> 00:35:55,719
Speaker 1: very good, very good, and I pour the eggs in there.

789
00:35:55,719 --> 00:35:57,600
Speaker 1: And I poured it and she said pour it in slow.

790
00:35:58,080 --> 00:36:02,279
Speaker 1: You don't got to pour it fast. Slow. And she said,

791
00:36:02,360 --> 00:36:05,280
Speaker 1: now take your thing. You're spooning a spitch sturry, stirry.

792
00:36:05,360 --> 00:36:09,920
Speaker 1: Just the scramble eggs. You're making scramble. I like scramble, scramble.

793
00:36:10,080 --> 00:36:13,239
Speaker 1: I was so happy, so happy. Now I had got

794
00:36:13,320 --> 00:36:15,560
Speaker 1: my I got my ass let. I almost burned down

795
00:36:15,560 --> 00:36:17,680
Speaker 1: the house. And now she's teaching me how to do it.

796
00:36:18,000 --> 00:36:20,080
Speaker 1: And we did it, and we ate the eggs together,

797
00:36:20,680 --> 00:36:23,080
Speaker 1: and I just remember I was like in love with

798
00:36:23,200 --> 00:36:25,040
Speaker 1: this woman for teaching me this. And then she's like,

799
00:36:25,120 --> 00:36:27,440
Speaker 1: now you have to clean up when you cook, you

800
00:36:27,520 --> 00:36:30,440
Speaker 1: gotta clean. So then it was then we cleaned the

801
00:36:30,520 --> 00:36:33,200
Speaker 1: dishes together. And then after that I was her dish washer.

802
00:36:33,320 --> 00:36:36,080
Speaker 1: I always washed the dishes whenever she cooked. I was

803
00:36:36,160 --> 00:36:37,719
Speaker 1: in there trying to cook with her. I mean I

804
00:36:37,800 --> 00:36:39,839
Speaker 1: was cutting up vegetables and stuff at three and four

805
00:36:39,920 --> 00:36:42,279
Speaker 1: years old, like I was the sous chef. I was

806
00:36:42,400 --> 00:36:46,000
Speaker 1: always like I wanted to be her best friend, helper

807
00:36:46,200 --> 00:36:49,839
Speaker 1: everything like, and she taught me a lot, like every

808
00:36:50,000 --> 00:36:53,359
Speaker 1: like a grocery shopping or that when my sisters was born.

809
00:36:53,719 --> 00:36:57,600
Speaker 1: I'm changing diapers, I'm making bottles, I'm her best helper,

810
00:36:58,200 --> 00:37:03,279
Speaker 1: I'm her everything. Like I loved her, I still love her.

811
00:37:03,680 --> 00:37:06,800
Speaker 1: But I miss that mommy. I miss that mommy and

812
00:37:06,880 --> 00:37:09,800
Speaker 1: i'm her helper now. But she liked to fight me,

813
00:37:10,000 --> 00:37:13,319
Speaker 1: so yeah, be careful because I can't be shown up

814
00:37:13,360 --> 00:37:17,960
Speaker 1: to work with a black eye because she's different now.

815
00:37:19,320 --> 00:37:20,359
Speaker 1: I missed that mommy, though.

816
00:37:21,840 --> 00:37:25,320
Speaker 2: I can't imagine how hard it is to know someone

817
00:37:26,680 --> 00:37:30,960
Speaker 2: that intimately, that closely and then they're not that person

818
00:37:31,280 --> 00:37:35,279
Speaker 2: because of a horrific accident that she had, so it's

819
00:37:35,320 --> 00:37:38,759
Speaker 2: totally out of her control. And now not only do

820
00:37:38,800 --> 00:37:41,279
Speaker 2: you have to get to know this new person you

821
00:37:41,360 --> 00:37:46,239
Speaker 2: missed this person that you just so beautifully described, When

822
00:37:46,320 --> 00:37:48,959
Speaker 2: did you start even letting yourself process that grief, because

823
00:37:48,960 --> 00:37:50,680
Speaker 2: I can imagine it's just shocked.

824
00:37:53,000 --> 00:37:56,600
Speaker 1: Processing that grief. I mean, I don't know. I think

825
00:37:56,880 --> 00:38:00,440
Speaker 1: when my grandma passed, who's my first best friend, who

826
00:38:00,520 --> 00:38:05,440
Speaker 1: I still miss terribly, I think that's when I think

827
00:38:05,520 --> 00:38:08,399
Speaker 1: that's when I started really like, okay, like the last

828
00:38:08,520 --> 00:38:11,279
Speaker 1: since she's been gone, it's been two years. I think

829
00:38:11,320 --> 00:38:13,560
Speaker 1: it's been the hardest two years in my whole existence,

830
00:38:13,880 --> 00:38:18,320
Speaker 1: because that was my shield, that was my like protector.

831
00:38:18,360 --> 00:38:21,520
Speaker 1: I could tell her all my dreams, like and she

832
00:38:21,600 --> 00:38:23,040
Speaker 1: would be like, well, if you want to do that,

833
00:38:23,160 --> 00:38:24,960
Speaker 1: you better figure this out. You better feel like. She

834
00:38:25,200 --> 00:38:28,359
Speaker 1: was like a good sounding boy for me. And that's

835
00:38:28,440 --> 00:38:32,560
Speaker 1: my first best friend. And I don't even some days

836
00:38:32,600 --> 00:38:34,000
Speaker 1: I don't even know how I get out the bed

837
00:38:34,239 --> 00:38:37,200
Speaker 1: because I miss her so much. But then also I

838
00:38:37,280 --> 00:38:39,400
Speaker 1: don't want to let her down, and she puts she

839
00:38:39,480 --> 00:38:43,360
Speaker 1: install so much like no, don't give up, don't be

840
00:38:43,400 --> 00:38:46,080
Speaker 1: a quitter, Like we know we're not quitters over here,

841
00:38:46,160 --> 00:38:50,719
Speaker 1: so you can't quit. So figure it out. Even if

842
00:38:50,719 --> 00:38:52,560
Speaker 1: you got half fast, do it half fast, do it,

843
00:38:52,640 --> 00:38:55,800
Speaker 1: get it done. Figure it out. And so that's what

844
00:38:55,960 --> 00:38:59,200
Speaker 1: I do. But I also had to like learn it,

845
00:38:59,320 --> 00:39:04,680
Speaker 1: like I've been learning how to grieve, I've been learning

846
00:39:04,719 --> 00:39:09,640
Speaker 1: how to sit in and and like some people tell me,

847
00:39:09,680 --> 00:39:11,759
Speaker 1: I shouldn't make jokes out of everything, but that's how

848
00:39:11,840 --> 00:39:14,840
Speaker 1: I process. And I think you use the same the

849
00:39:14,960 --> 00:39:17,879
Speaker 1: same muscles, the muscles that you used to cry, same

850
00:39:17,960 --> 00:39:21,200
Speaker 1: muscles you used to laugh. It hurts so much when

851
00:39:21,280 --> 00:39:23,000
Speaker 1: you cry. I mean sometimes I cry so hard I

852
00:39:23,080 --> 00:39:26,239
Speaker 1: throw up, and it is like even though that I

853
00:39:26,280 --> 00:39:30,000
Speaker 1: could use the apps, but like I don't want I

854
00:39:30,040 --> 00:39:33,160
Speaker 1: don't want that. I'd rather have the apps from laughing

855
00:39:33,280 --> 00:39:35,480
Speaker 1: so hard. I'd rather like so, I'll get to a

856
00:39:35,560 --> 00:39:37,840
Speaker 1: point where I'm like, oh, I miss my grandma, and

857
00:39:37,960 --> 00:39:41,200
Speaker 1: I'll try to remember something. I'll click on something that's

858
00:39:41,320 --> 00:39:44,120
Speaker 1: like in my brain, Like I'm clicking on like opening

859
00:39:44,200 --> 00:39:46,239
Speaker 1: files up like in a library, remember those index where

860
00:39:46,239 --> 00:39:50,320
Speaker 1: you have to Yeah, I'm like, okay, Oh, when we

861
00:39:50,480 --> 00:39:52,839
Speaker 1: made us a sweet potato pie, and when we went

862
00:39:52,880 --> 00:39:55,000
Speaker 1: to the fair together and left everybody behind, Oh, when

863
00:39:55,040 --> 00:39:59,279
Speaker 1: we did like try to like click to the good memories,

864
00:39:59,520 --> 00:40:02,719
Speaker 1: to the to the fun stuff, even there was a

865
00:40:02,760 --> 00:40:05,759
Speaker 1: lot of hard stuff. But like, I mean, I still

866
00:40:05,800 --> 00:40:08,160
Speaker 1: got her wigs. I'll be putting on her wigs sometimes

867
00:40:08,560 --> 00:40:11,080
Speaker 1: and like I'm getting afraid because they're starting to lose

868
00:40:11,120 --> 00:40:14,680
Speaker 1: her scent. But you know, I still is in the

869
00:40:14,719 --> 00:40:17,000
Speaker 1: back of my memory is in there. It's in there,

870
00:40:17,040 --> 00:40:19,400
Speaker 1: but like, yeah, and I've been grieving my mom. I

871
00:40:19,480 --> 00:40:22,359
Speaker 1: guess I've been grieving her my whole life, my whole

872
00:40:22,480 --> 00:40:24,800
Speaker 1: like teens and twenties and thirties and all that, but

873
00:40:25,239 --> 00:40:28,240
Speaker 1: not not really focused on it so much as grieving

874
00:40:28,320 --> 00:40:31,200
Speaker 1: because the flesh is still here, and I know she

875
00:40:31,440 --> 00:40:35,200
Speaker 1: in there somewhere, and I could get little sometimes little

876
00:40:35,280 --> 00:40:41,520
Speaker 1: like a little fix. She in her somewhere. That's why

877
00:40:41,560 --> 00:40:43,320
Speaker 1: you wish I had. I wish I had magical powers.

878
00:40:43,320 --> 00:40:48,279
Speaker 1: I could just Mommy's back. Oh my god, that would

879
00:40:48,280 --> 00:40:50,520
Speaker 1: be crazy. Because she was super thirsty for knowledge too.

880
00:40:50,640 --> 00:40:53,279
Speaker 1: She calls me sometimes. We got her cell phone and

881
00:40:53,320 --> 00:40:55,040
Speaker 1: she been using it, but she keep on trying to

882
00:40:55,080 --> 00:40:58,040
Speaker 1: buy stuff. So we got to be careful, like what,

883
00:40:58,280 --> 00:40:59,920
Speaker 1: don't put no credit card on it, don't sign it

884
00:41:00,040 --> 00:41:01,800
Speaker 1: to know nothing, because she wouldn't want to buy stuff.

885
00:41:02,080 --> 00:41:03,759
Speaker 1: And she called me and say, I need to go

886
00:41:03,840 --> 00:41:06,480
Speaker 1: to college. I'm trying to go to college. I need

887
00:41:06,520 --> 00:41:09,200
Speaker 1: to go get certified in culinary arts. I'm gonna go

888
00:41:09,360 --> 00:41:12,040
Speaker 1: get certified in dog rooming. I need to get certified

889
00:41:12,120 --> 00:41:16,719
Speaker 1: in my demo Deluxe program. I'm like demo deluxe. She's like, yes, samples,

890
00:41:16,760 --> 00:41:20,200
Speaker 1: food samples in marketing in grocery stores. I was like, well,

891
00:41:20,200 --> 00:41:22,800
Speaker 1: I'm building a grocery store, so then you could just

892
00:41:22,960 --> 00:41:24,879
Speaker 1: you know, do demos in the grocery store. You don't

893
00:41:24,880 --> 00:41:27,160
Speaker 1: got to get certified. I got you. She's like, no, no,

894
00:41:27,239 --> 00:41:29,000
Speaker 1: but I need to go to college. I need to

895
00:41:29,080 --> 00:41:30,840
Speaker 1: I need to go to school. Okay, I have to

896
00:41:30,880 --> 00:41:32,680
Speaker 1: go to school. And I'm like, okay, mama, but like,

897
00:41:32,760 --> 00:41:35,080
Speaker 1: and that makes me excited that she wants to love

898
00:41:35,560 --> 00:41:37,719
Speaker 1: that she wants to go to school. But then I'm

899
00:41:37,760 --> 00:41:40,040
Speaker 1: like concerned. Do I let her go to school? Do

900
00:41:40,120 --> 00:41:42,560
Speaker 1: I send her to this community college where she potentially

901
00:41:42,680 --> 00:41:45,440
Speaker 1: might have an episode and fight somebody, or she might

902
00:41:45,480 --> 00:41:48,000
Speaker 1: just start the class start talking, or she starts seeing

903
00:41:48,040 --> 00:41:50,560
Speaker 1: things and start screaming at them, or you know, like

904
00:41:50,680 --> 00:41:52,839
Speaker 1: do what I allowed this? And like, will I forgive

905
00:41:52,880 --> 00:41:55,160
Speaker 1: her too much medication? And she like falls asleep in

906
00:41:55,200 --> 00:41:57,239
Speaker 1: the class and she starts snoring super loud, and they

907
00:41:57,320 --> 00:41:59,360
Speaker 1: put her out and then we can't find her. Do

908
00:41:59,480 --> 00:42:01,279
Speaker 1: I hire an nurse to go to school with her?

909
00:42:01,360 --> 00:42:03,520
Speaker 1: Do I like, Okay, you trying to go to school

910
00:42:03,520 --> 00:42:04,719
Speaker 1: and you gotta go to school with my mama and

911
00:42:04,800 --> 00:42:08,240
Speaker 1: y'all take the same classes. Do I pay for somebody

912
00:42:08,320 --> 00:42:09,799
Speaker 1: else at school to go to school with my mama

913
00:42:09,800 --> 00:42:11,600
Speaker 1: and protect my mom and make sure she don't eat

914
00:42:11,640 --> 00:42:13,320
Speaker 1: too much candy and make sure she don't eat no

915
00:42:13,440 --> 00:42:16,520
Speaker 1: junk food and stuff like because that when she eats

916
00:42:16,600 --> 00:42:19,080
Speaker 1: junk food or processed foods, that sends her over the edge.

917
00:42:19,080 --> 00:42:21,800
Speaker 1: And now she's like in another dimension. And am I

918
00:42:22,160 --> 00:42:24,680
Speaker 1: blocking my mama from these dimensions? Because maybe her being

919
00:42:24,719 --> 00:42:27,759
Speaker 1: in those other dimensions is really good material and I

920
00:42:27,840 --> 00:42:29,320
Speaker 1: need to be sitting with her when she's talking to

921
00:42:29,400 --> 00:42:32,440
Speaker 1: these people that I don't see, and maybe that's like

922
00:42:32,640 --> 00:42:34,440
Speaker 1: something I could use for a movie or something I

923
00:42:34,560 --> 00:42:37,680
Speaker 1: don't know. And maybe God gave her this this like

924
00:42:38,080 --> 00:42:41,399
Speaker 1: brain injury to see over there, and maybe she really

925
00:42:41,480 --> 00:42:43,600
Speaker 1: protected me. And I don't even know that I'm blocking

926
00:42:43,719 --> 00:42:46,480
Speaker 1: my protection because I feel like my grandma was my

927
00:42:46,640 --> 00:42:49,480
Speaker 1: shield and my protection, but now that's gone and I

928
00:42:49,560 --> 00:42:52,239
Speaker 1: don't have to protect her no more. So I got

929
00:42:52,320 --> 00:42:55,080
Speaker 1: to figure out who's protecting me his right now is

930
00:42:55,200 --> 00:42:59,839
Speaker 1: just me and my prayers and think my sister, my sister,

931
00:43:00,120 --> 00:43:04,279
Speaker 1: definitely we work well together. So and your faith, Oh,

932
00:43:04,360 --> 00:43:06,359
Speaker 1: my faith is definitely protectar. Yeah that's what I saying

933
00:43:06,400 --> 00:43:09,680
Speaker 1: my prayers. Yeah, like yeah, I mean God, is that

934
00:43:09,760 --> 00:43:13,879
Speaker 1: that's my dad? I lost my actual biological physical father,

935
00:43:13,960 --> 00:43:16,359
Speaker 1: But I feel like I've been my dad all this time.

936
00:43:16,440 --> 00:43:19,359
Speaker 1: I've always believed in God, always had a relationship, been

937
00:43:19,520 --> 00:43:21,600
Speaker 1: very mad at him a lot, but you know, it

938
00:43:21,760 --> 00:43:24,200
Speaker 1: is what it is. Yeah, I still love him very much.

939
00:43:24,640 --> 00:43:27,680
Speaker 2: Yeah. I mean, as I'm listening to you, it's it's

940
00:43:27,719 --> 00:43:29,839
Speaker 2: so challenging to think that you have someone in front

941
00:43:29,840 --> 00:43:32,600
Speaker 2: of you, well you know that the person you love

942
00:43:32,719 --> 00:43:34,719
Speaker 2: is inside of them, and like you said, you get

943
00:43:34,760 --> 00:43:37,200
Speaker 2: the glimpses. But then at the same time, like you said,

944
00:43:37,239 --> 00:43:39,120
Speaker 2: it can get abusive, it can be violent, it can

945
00:43:39,719 --> 00:43:41,920
Speaker 2: because of the brain injury. And then when you look

946
00:43:41,920 --> 00:43:44,960
Speaker 2: at your relationship with your father and you go to

947
00:43:45,400 --> 00:43:47,160
Speaker 2: in depth in the book, and I want people to

948
00:43:47,200 --> 00:43:50,319
Speaker 2: read the book, but I believe your father left when

949
00:43:50,320 --> 00:43:53,960
Speaker 2: you're like three or four, Yeah, and you always had

950
00:43:54,000 --> 00:43:57,239
Speaker 2: this fixation of wanting to reconnect with him. And you

951
00:43:57,320 --> 00:43:59,440
Speaker 2: talk about in the book, how like any back of

952
00:43:59,520 --> 00:44:02,560
Speaker 2: the head you that looked like your father, like that daddy?

953
00:44:03,000 --> 00:44:03,560
Speaker 2: Is that my dad?

954
00:44:04,000 --> 00:44:05,719
Speaker 1: Are you my dad? Like you know that book? Are

955
00:44:05,760 --> 00:44:06,239
Speaker 1: you my mother?

956
00:44:06,480 --> 00:44:06,520
Speaker 2: Like?

957
00:44:06,560 --> 00:44:08,200
Speaker 1: Are you my daddy? Are you my daddy?

958
00:44:08,320 --> 00:44:08,360
Speaker 2: Like?

959
00:44:09,440 --> 00:44:12,960
Speaker 1: So wanting a dad I needed. I needed that. Like

960
00:44:13,880 --> 00:44:15,720
Speaker 1: I think if I would have had him, I probably

961
00:44:16,200 --> 00:44:18,040
Speaker 1: I might not be who I am today. For sure,

962
00:44:18,040 --> 00:44:19,560
Speaker 1: I wouldn't be who I am today, and that would

963
00:44:19,560 --> 00:44:23,360
Speaker 1: be very just a tragedy. But maybe I wouldn't have

964
00:44:23,400 --> 00:44:25,480
Speaker 1: slept with so many dudes. Maybe I wouldn't have been

965
00:44:25,560 --> 00:44:29,799
Speaker 1: so like a thirsty for attention, or maybe I would

966
00:44:29,800 --> 00:44:31,640
Speaker 1: have learned how to live with the man and been

967
00:44:32,000 --> 00:44:35,239
Speaker 1: a better wife and been be a better girlfriend and

968
00:44:35,400 --> 00:44:39,680
Speaker 1: understand men better. Like but I think like everything happens

969
00:44:39,760 --> 00:44:42,520
Speaker 1: the way it's opposed to, even though like I wish

970
00:44:42,600 --> 00:44:45,879
Speaker 1: there was some male that was there that I felt

971
00:44:45,960 --> 00:44:48,320
Speaker 1: safe with, that could show me on a regular basis

972
00:44:48,400 --> 00:44:51,480
Speaker 1: how to be around men, and not like how I

973
00:44:51,600 --> 00:44:53,640
Speaker 1: learned how to be around men, which was like I

974
00:44:53,760 --> 00:44:55,360
Speaker 1: was a tomboy and I was like, oh yeah, I

975
00:44:55,400 --> 00:44:59,720
Speaker 1: could do that, like stupid, so too, you were figuring

976
00:44:59,719 --> 00:45:03,440
Speaker 1: it out. I was figuring it out. But but how

977
00:45:03,520 --> 00:45:04,880
Speaker 1: much time would I have saved?

978
00:45:05,040 --> 00:45:05,200
Speaker 2: You know?

979
00:45:05,800 --> 00:45:08,080
Speaker 1: And my dad probably would have felt so much less

980
00:45:08,239 --> 00:45:10,520
Speaker 1: guilt had he been around, you know, But my mom

981
00:45:10,680 --> 00:45:13,200
Speaker 1: was threatening to put him in jail, say get him

982
00:45:13,200 --> 00:45:14,960
Speaker 1: deported or whatever. So I get it. I get it.

983
00:45:15,239 --> 00:45:16,640
Speaker 1: You ain't want to go back to the war, I

984
00:45:16,719 --> 00:45:16,960
Speaker 1: get it.

985
00:45:17,440 --> 00:45:19,960
Speaker 2: But you were able to reconnect with them. Yeah, from

986
00:45:20,200 --> 00:45:23,160
Speaker 2: when you read about that, you're like wow, because you

987
00:45:23,360 --> 00:45:28,120
Speaker 2: think most people would have resentment and bitterness and have

988
00:45:28,400 --> 00:45:32,200
Speaker 2: this like angst against this person, but actually you were

989
00:45:32,280 --> 00:45:34,080
Speaker 2: just like this is amazing.

990
00:45:34,280 --> 00:45:36,640
Speaker 1: Yeah, well see I wanted to have that. I thought.

991
00:45:36,800 --> 00:45:38,440
Speaker 1: I thought that's what I would have. I thought I

992
00:45:38,440 --> 00:45:40,280
Speaker 1: would kick him in the balls and be like, why'd

993
00:45:40,320 --> 00:45:42,200
Speaker 1: you even have sex with my mama and make me

994
00:45:42,280 --> 00:45:44,000
Speaker 1: and leave me behind? Like I thought I would be

995
00:45:44,080 --> 00:45:46,640
Speaker 1: like so mean to him and mad with him. But

996
00:45:46,760 --> 00:45:48,840
Speaker 1: that's not what my soul was feeling. My soul was

997
00:45:48,880 --> 00:45:53,239
Speaker 1: feeling like, Okay, this is our new adventure. This is amazing, Like, oh,

998
00:45:53,360 --> 00:45:57,080
Speaker 1: he's way handsomer than mama said. He's actually voy kinder

999
00:45:57,160 --> 00:46:00,800
Speaker 1: than what she said. He's actually this like like everything

1000
00:46:00,880 --> 00:46:04,520
Speaker 1: that I was told was like the opposite. And then

1001
00:46:04,600 --> 00:46:06,160
Speaker 1: like everything my grandma told me was kind of like

1002
00:46:06,239 --> 00:46:08,120
Speaker 1: right on point, which I should have been listening to her.

1003
00:46:08,160 --> 00:46:09,440
Speaker 1: She was my best friend. I should have listened to

1004
00:46:09,440 --> 00:46:12,080
Speaker 1: her from the first. But you know, the love my

1005
00:46:12,120 --> 00:46:14,520
Speaker 1: life is telling me these things, so I'm believing what

1006
00:46:14,640 --> 00:46:19,279
Speaker 1: she said and like to be in his presence was

1007
00:46:19,400 --> 00:46:21,480
Speaker 1: like the little girl, the three year old in me

1008
00:46:21,640 --> 00:46:23,880
Speaker 1: was so happy, and I was kind of upset that

1009
00:46:23,960 --> 00:46:26,080
Speaker 1: I was too big for him to pick up, Like

1010
00:46:26,160 --> 00:46:27,719
Speaker 1: I wanted him to pick me up and hold me

1011
00:46:27,800 --> 00:46:30,040
Speaker 1: and put put me on his hip. And I still

1012
00:46:30,080 --> 00:46:32,120
Speaker 1: kind of got this affixation with that where like I

1013
00:46:32,200 --> 00:46:34,120
Speaker 1: kind of would like to start a service where like

1014
00:46:34,280 --> 00:46:36,480
Speaker 1: retired basketball players can hold you like a baby.

1015
00:46:39,680 --> 00:46:40,560
Speaker 2: That's amazing.

1016
00:46:40,800 --> 00:46:42,680
Speaker 1: You pay them like three hundred dollars an hour and

1017
00:46:42,719 --> 00:46:44,080
Speaker 1: they just hold you like a baby and tell you

1018
00:46:44,120 --> 00:46:45,680
Speaker 1: it's gonna be okay and pat you on the back

1019
00:46:45,719 --> 00:46:48,880
Speaker 1: and burp you. Why hadn't nobody burps you anymore? I

1020
00:46:49,000 --> 00:46:49,640
Speaker 1: want somebody that.

1021
00:46:49,800 --> 00:46:53,240
Speaker 2: Burnt meious, I've just got this vision of like shock.

1022
00:46:54,160 --> 00:46:57,360
Speaker 1: I asked Shashack said, girl, crazy, you actually lost it?

1023
00:46:57,600 --> 00:46:59,919
Speaker 1: I asked him. He was like, girl, what did you ask?

1024
00:47:00,320 --> 00:47:02,360
Speaker 1: I said, would you hold me like a baby and

1025
00:47:02,520 --> 00:47:04,600
Speaker 1: like then burnt me? And he was like, girl, you crazy?

1026
00:47:04,600 --> 00:47:05,440
Speaker 1: You so damn silly?

1027
00:47:06,680 --> 00:47:07,960
Speaker 2: Have you asked any other plans?

1028
00:47:08,200 --> 00:47:10,839
Speaker 1: I have mentioned it and they just laugh. I think

1029
00:47:10,880 --> 00:47:13,480
Speaker 1: they think I'm joking, but I'm dead serious. I don't

1030
00:47:13,480 --> 00:47:15,400
Speaker 1: even laugh when I say it. I'm like, would you

1031
00:47:15,600 --> 00:47:18,279
Speaker 1: hold me like a baby and then like put me

1032
00:47:18,320 --> 00:47:20,279
Speaker 1: off your should and burnt me and then like maybe

1033
00:47:20,320 --> 00:47:22,719
Speaker 1: hold me on your hip like this and just tell

1034
00:47:22,760 --> 00:47:24,759
Speaker 1: me it's gonna be okay, that everything's gonna be all right?

1035
00:47:24,760 --> 00:47:26,600
Speaker 1: Would you do that for me? And they'd be like,

1036
00:47:26,920 --> 00:47:31,279
Speaker 1: are you crazy? Sure? You stupid? His here girl, you

1037
00:47:31,400 --> 00:47:35,640
Speaker 1: hear Tiffany and this a comedian right here, it's.

1038
00:47:35,520 --> 00:47:37,720
Speaker 2: A real request, though, I can hear what you're saying,

1039
00:47:37,840 --> 00:47:40,960
Speaker 2: Like there's we all what this feeling of being embraced

1040
00:47:41,040 --> 00:47:44,000
Speaker 2: and being like just feeling like nothing else matters and

1041
00:47:44,040 --> 00:47:46,799
Speaker 2: that everything's taken care of and there's just safety. Yeah,

1042
00:47:46,880 --> 00:47:47,680
Speaker 2: we're all craving.

1043
00:47:48,440 --> 00:47:51,400
Speaker 1: That's like when I see my mom now, like like

1044
00:47:51,440 --> 00:47:54,200
Speaker 1: I see her all the time, but but it's like, right,

1045
00:47:54,320 --> 00:47:56,479
Speaker 1: I could tell when my cycle coming right before because

1046
00:47:56,560 --> 00:47:58,279
Speaker 1: I see her and I just want her to hold me,

1047
00:47:58,800 --> 00:48:00,279
Speaker 1: so I just hug her super tight. She'd be like,

1048
00:48:00,320 --> 00:48:03,160
Speaker 1: get off, all right, that's a laugh, and I'm like, no,

1049
00:48:03,360 --> 00:48:07,440
Speaker 1: Mamy wante me. She's like that's enough, that's enough. Clearly

1050
00:48:07,560 --> 00:48:10,640
Speaker 1: my love language is touched. Right. So then another time

1051
00:48:10,719 --> 00:48:12,479
Speaker 1: she was sitting on the couch in my house watching

1052
00:48:12,560 --> 00:48:14,480
Speaker 1: TV and she's just like this TV is so big,

1053
00:48:14,560 --> 00:48:16,560
Speaker 1: and I felt so proud of myself that she said,

1054
00:48:16,600 --> 00:48:18,640
Speaker 1: my TV is so big. So then I sat down

1055
00:48:18,680 --> 00:48:20,000
Speaker 1: next to her and then I just tried to like

1056
00:48:20,120 --> 00:48:22,080
Speaker 1: crawl up in her lap. I tried to like get

1057
00:48:22,120 --> 00:48:23,960
Speaker 1: in her lap, and she's like, great, too big, Get off,

1058
00:48:24,239 --> 00:48:25,880
Speaker 1: Get off me, And I'm just like I want her

1059
00:48:25,960 --> 00:48:27,440
Speaker 1: to hold me in her lap like she used to

1060
00:48:27,520 --> 00:48:29,439
Speaker 1: when I was a baby. When I was little, I said,

1061
00:48:29,440 --> 00:48:31,480
Speaker 1: sit in her lap and watch TV. Lean on her

1062
00:48:31,560 --> 00:48:34,640
Speaker 1: like this, you know, we watch TV. Together. But I'm

1063
00:48:34,680 --> 00:48:39,960
Speaker 1: too big now, I'm too damn biga.

1064
00:48:40,200 --> 00:48:42,680
Speaker 2: Walk me through that phone call with your dad when

1065
00:48:42,719 --> 00:48:46,040
Speaker 2: it comes out of nowhere, because you're so much How

1066
00:48:46,080 --> 00:48:46,640
Speaker 2: old are you even that?

1067
00:48:47,040 --> 00:48:48,719
Speaker 1: Get twenty six to be?

1068
00:48:48,800 --> 00:48:51,479
Speaker 2: So we do my three four to twenty six, twenty seven.

1069
00:48:51,560 --> 00:48:53,000
Speaker 2: It's like walk me through.

1070
00:48:53,520 --> 00:48:56,440
Speaker 1: Okay. So I talked to this man that's had some facility,

1071
00:48:56,520 --> 00:48:58,560
Speaker 1: say he knows my dad whatever, and he's gonna give

1072
00:48:58,600 --> 00:49:00,759
Speaker 1: my dad the number and out of seven, I said, okay. Cool.

1073
00:49:01,320 --> 00:49:03,239
Speaker 1: Then like days go by and then I get the

1074
00:49:03,360 --> 00:49:06,920
Speaker 1: car and it's like, hello, is this differenty? You know,

1075
00:49:07,120 --> 00:49:10,560
Speaker 1: like I knew, like my whole soul knew instantly who

1076
00:49:10,640 --> 00:49:16,200
Speaker 1: he was. Like it's like DNA, like recognition or something

1077
00:49:16,320 --> 00:49:18,480
Speaker 1: like the little girl and me lit up like like

1078
00:49:18,600 --> 00:49:22,600
Speaker 1: I was like laying on the couch sleeping. It's like Daddy,

1079
00:49:23,239 --> 00:49:26,759
Speaker 1: you know. It's like, Daddy, is that you? And I

1080
00:49:26,920 --> 00:49:30,640
Speaker 1: was like yes, he was like this is diyat your father.

1081
00:49:31,719 --> 00:49:34,319
Speaker 1: I'm like, Daddy, where are you bed?

1082
00:49:35,680 --> 00:49:36,359
Speaker 2: Where you been?

1083
00:49:36,719 --> 00:49:37,799
Speaker 1: Are you sure you're my dad?

1084
00:49:38,080 --> 00:49:38,440
Speaker 2: How do you know?

1085
00:49:38,719 --> 00:49:40,160
Speaker 1: Wait? Are you sure you're my dad?

1086
00:49:40,239 --> 00:49:40,279
Speaker 2: Like?

1087
00:49:40,320 --> 00:49:42,680
Speaker 1: And I was asking him questions about family members. He

1088
00:49:42,760 --> 00:49:45,920
Speaker 1: knew stuff that nobody else would know except like him

1089
00:49:45,920 --> 00:49:48,600
Speaker 1: and my mama would know. And I was like, where

1090
00:49:48,760 --> 00:49:51,600
Speaker 1: are you? When can I see you? I need to

1091
00:49:51,760 --> 00:49:52,160
Speaker 1: see you.

1092
00:49:52,680 --> 00:49:53,400
Speaker 2: I miss you?

1093
00:49:55,080 --> 00:49:57,840
Speaker 1: Where are you being while you ain't come and get me? Like,

1094
00:49:59,520 --> 00:50:05,879
Speaker 1: I just him to keep talking that voice. Man, I can't.

1095
00:50:05,920 --> 00:50:08,040
Speaker 1: I'm not very good at impersonating it. But I got

1096
00:50:08,120 --> 00:50:09,920
Speaker 1: like a lot of voicemails. I always ask him like

1097
00:50:10,000 --> 00:50:12,160
Speaker 1: if I do answer, please leave me a voice message.

1098
00:50:12,760 --> 00:50:15,200
Speaker 1: I got his voice messages and I'd be listening to

1099
00:50:15,320 --> 00:50:20,800
Speaker 1: him make me feel better, like I miss him. I

1100
00:50:20,960 --> 00:50:23,040
Speaker 1: was missing him, like I barely knew him, and I

1101
00:50:23,160 --> 00:50:26,479
Speaker 1: was missing him right, so like I be loving people

1102
00:50:26,560 --> 00:50:30,440
Speaker 1: too much, I think, but I knew it was him immediately.

1103
00:50:31,520 --> 00:50:34,360
Speaker 1: I wanted to see him immediately, or set up a

1104
00:50:34,440 --> 00:50:37,640
Speaker 1: time for me to go and visit him, to drive

1105
00:50:37,760 --> 00:50:41,400
Speaker 1: up to Virginia. Went up to Virginia and I went

1106
00:50:41,440 --> 00:50:43,040
Speaker 1: to see him. As soon as I saw him as

1107
00:50:43,080 --> 00:50:47,640
Speaker 1: like my whole soul rejoice, so happy. He's very handsome.

1108
00:50:47,719 --> 00:50:50,640
Speaker 1: I'm glad I met him like in that way instead

1109
00:50:50,680 --> 00:50:52,319
Speaker 1: of like in some nightclub or something, cause I probably

1110
00:50:52,320 --> 00:50:54,360
Speaker 1: would have tried to hit on him or something. I

1111
00:50:55,000 --> 00:50:57,560
Speaker 1: thought he was beautiful. And we just talked and talked

1112
00:50:57,600 --> 00:50:59,480
Speaker 1: and talked, and I was just like trying to crawl

1113
00:50:59,520 --> 00:51:02,279
Speaker 1: in his lap. But I'm bigger than him, bigger than him.

1114
00:51:02,840 --> 00:51:05,200
Speaker 1: I was trying to get him to hold me charl

1115
00:51:05,239 --> 00:51:07,040
Speaker 1: to spend as much time with him as I could,

1116
00:51:07,160 --> 00:51:09,800
Speaker 1: and like he was feeling a lot of guilt. He's like,

1117
00:51:09,840 --> 00:51:11,160
Speaker 1: I should have been there for this. I should have

1118
00:51:11,200 --> 00:51:12,600
Speaker 1: been there for that. And I'm like, yeah, you should have,

1119
00:51:12,640 --> 00:51:15,279
Speaker 1: but you here now, like we got this now, like

1120
00:51:15,560 --> 00:51:17,319
Speaker 1: and just getting to know him, and I was asking

1121
00:51:17,400 --> 00:51:20,280
Speaker 1: him all these questions like is it true that I'm Jewish?

1122
00:51:20,600 --> 00:51:22,719
Speaker 1: My grandma always say this, this is true. He goes, yes,

1123
00:51:22,800 --> 00:51:25,239
Speaker 1: this is true, but this and this and this and

1124
00:51:25,360 --> 00:51:27,200
Speaker 1: this is what happened. And I had to leave and

1125
00:51:27,360 --> 00:51:29,960
Speaker 1: I had to this and and I'm just like wow,

1126
00:51:30,160 --> 00:51:32,880
Speaker 1: like asking him something question, what was it like for

1127
00:51:32,960 --> 00:51:34,560
Speaker 1: you when you was a little boy? Did you use

1128
00:51:34,600 --> 00:51:36,840
Speaker 1: toilet in the hole? Did you use toilet in the toilet?

1129
00:51:36,960 --> 00:51:38,759
Speaker 1: Like did you have like what did you have? And

1130
00:51:38,840 --> 00:51:40,600
Speaker 1: he was like, yeah, we had money, we had a toilet,

1131
00:51:40,719 --> 00:51:43,200
Speaker 1: I went, I had Italian clothes, I had this, I got,

1132
00:51:43,360 --> 00:51:45,480
Speaker 1: I learned German, I learned this language. I know this,

1133
00:51:45,600 --> 00:51:49,520
Speaker 1: I know that, like eight languages. Like I just constantly,

1134
00:51:49,719 --> 00:51:51,719
Speaker 1: like I feel like I was interrogating him all the time.

1135
00:51:51,880 --> 00:51:54,839
Speaker 1: And then he came to California and then I would

1136
00:51:54,840 --> 00:51:56,360
Speaker 1: take him to go see my mom. But then I

1137
00:51:56,400 --> 00:51:58,080
Speaker 1: would like snap at him and stuff, cause it would

1138
00:51:58,080 --> 00:52:00,200
Speaker 1: be they slip part of me. That's like, damn doing

1139
00:52:00,200 --> 00:52:01,640
Speaker 1: all this shiit for you ain't gonna do something for me.

1140
00:52:02,080 --> 00:52:03,920
Speaker 1: But like then I had to check myself, like, hey,

1141
00:52:04,120 --> 00:52:07,080
Speaker 1: he gave us life, like be nice. But sometimes I

1142
00:52:07,080 --> 00:52:09,840
Speaker 1: would be mad, especially like and he would get he

1143
00:52:09,880 --> 00:52:12,719
Speaker 1: would get the business if I drank. Sometimes I would

1144
00:52:12,719 --> 00:52:17,120
Speaker 1: get like really like lit and remorseful. Then I would

1145
00:52:17,160 --> 00:52:19,279
Speaker 1: call him and I'd just cuss him out. I just

1146
00:52:19,400 --> 00:52:22,120
Speaker 1: give him on. I'm like, I wash because you wasn't there.

1147
00:52:22,200 --> 00:52:23,680
Speaker 1: I was this because you didn't show it.

1148
00:52:23,760 --> 00:52:25,880
Speaker 2: You didn't teach me you did. He did hear that?

1149
00:52:26,000 --> 00:52:27,320
Speaker 1: Yeah, he did hear it. He heard it from the

1150
00:52:27,360 --> 00:52:28,239
Speaker 1: drunk side of me here and.

1151
00:52:28,239 --> 00:52:30,120
Speaker 2: When you were you funny when you were drunk like

1152
00:52:30,160 --> 00:52:31,799
Speaker 2: that or no, that was like intent.

1153
00:52:31,880 --> 00:52:33,640
Speaker 1: God, no, I was intent. I was sitting on the porch.

1154
00:52:33,680 --> 00:52:36,120
Speaker 1: I was like, I married this man. I shouldn't have

1155
00:52:36,160 --> 00:52:39,400
Speaker 1: married this man. I was like, yeah, I was at

1156
00:52:39,480 --> 00:52:43,840
Speaker 1: home drinking mad, so on my nerves, I'm like, what

1157
00:52:43,960 --> 00:52:47,160
Speaker 1: did I do? I ruined my life? Like this isn't

1158
00:52:47,160 --> 00:52:49,440
Speaker 1: who I'm supposed to be with. But clearly I was

1159
00:52:49,440 --> 00:52:51,359
Speaker 1: supposed to be there because I needed to learn some things.

1160
00:52:51,400 --> 00:52:53,359
Speaker 1: And I learned a lot from that relationship, and I'm

1161
00:52:53,400 --> 00:52:56,560
Speaker 1: grateful for that relationship, but I would never go back.

1162
00:52:56,719 --> 00:52:58,719
Speaker 1: I remember sitting on the porch just crying to my

1163
00:52:58,840 --> 00:53:01,480
Speaker 1: daddy about how like I'm made all these bad decisions

1164
00:53:01,520 --> 00:53:04,719
Speaker 1: and bad choices because I didn't have my daddy to

1165
00:53:04,800 --> 00:53:06,759
Speaker 1: guide me, and I need it. I need my dad,

1166
00:53:06,960 --> 00:53:09,600
Speaker 1: I need I needed you, like and he's like, I

1167
00:53:09,680 --> 00:53:11,640
Speaker 1: would get the place with you don't have to be

1168
00:53:11,719 --> 00:53:13,759
Speaker 1: with them. I will get a place, and you got

1169
00:53:13,840 --> 00:53:15,320
Speaker 1: your own room and you got your all this. And

1170
00:53:15,400 --> 00:53:17,520
Speaker 1: he never did do that. He never got to that

1171
00:53:17,640 --> 00:53:20,600
Speaker 1: level because he wasn't mentally art where he needed to

1172
00:53:20,680 --> 00:53:24,359
Speaker 1: be like he was. And that man witnessed a war

1173
00:53:25,719 --> 00:53:28,880
Speaker 1: and then came here and witnessed a whole bunch of

1174
00:53:29,000 --> 00:53:32,960
Speaker 1: other horrible things that like I could only imagine. And

1175
00:53:33,080 --> 00:53:35,880
Speaker 1: then the guilt that he was feeling for like abandoning

1176
00:53:36,040 --> 00:53:39,480
Speaker 1: his country and you know, abandoning his daughter doing not

1177
00:53:39,680 --> 00:53:44,279
Speaker 1: like he's feeling super duper guilty. And he's learned learning

1178
00:53:44,280 --> 00:53:46,480
Speaker 1: how to grieve too. His mother died, his daddy died,

1179
00:53:46,520 --> 00:53:49,080
Speaker 1: his brothers are all dead. All he got his aunties,

1180
00:53:49,160 --> 00:53:53,400
Speaker 1: and they you know, if they're anything, if if they

1181
00:53:53,480 --> 00:53:57,200
Speaker 1: were doing to him anything like what they do to me. Uh,

1182
00:53:57,320 --> 00:54:03,279
Speaker 1: and they probably did it to him more sh I

1183
00:54:03,440 --> 00:54:08,440
Speaker 1: just you know, I pray for him. I pray for

1184
00:54:08,560 --> 00:54:12,560
Speaker 1: his soul. I feel like, oh, man, gotta feel horrible.

1185
00:54:13,239 --> 00:54:15,640
Speaker 1: You I probably felt like shit on a daily basis,

1186
00:54:17,160 --> 00:54:20,839
Speaker 1: so I really And then the next day I apologize

1187
00:54:20,840 --> 00:54:23,160
Speaker 1: so tough to him because going off on him like that,

1188
00:54:23,200 --> 00:54:24,680
Speaker 1: and I'm like I should have never did that. He's like, no,

1189
00:54:24,760 --> 00:54:27,360
Speaker 1: it's okay. You know my friends, my friends always like, well,

1190
00:54:27,400 --> 00:54:29,000
Speaker 1: how was your daughter so nice to you? And you

1191
00:54:29,040 --> 00:54:30,719
Speaker 1: didn't even raise or I raised my daughters. And my

1192
00:54:30,800 --> 00:54:32,840
Speaker 1: daughter's so mean to me and evil to me, and

1193
00:54:32,960 --> 00:54:35,239
Speaker 1: your daughter's nice and kind to you and loves you

1194
00:54:35,440 --> 00:54:37,080
Speaker 1: like my daughter. Maybe I shouldn't have been there for

1195
00:54:37,200 --> 00:54:39,279
Speaker 1: my daughter. Maybe she would be nice to me, because

1196
00:54:39,320 --> 00:54:41,160
Speaker 1: my daughter's mean to me. And then when I was

1197
00:54:41,239 --> 00:54:42,839
Speaker 1: mean to him, he's like telling all this friend, she's

1198
00:54:43,400 --> 00:54:45,359
Speaker 1: mean to me, she cuts me out, she was mean

1199
00:54:45,400 --> 00:54:48,080
Speaker 1: and me God like he could fit in with his

1200
00:54:48,160 --> 00:54:51,160
Speaker 1: group of friends or whatever. But he's like, it's okay.

1201
00:54:51,239 --> 00:54:54,240
Speaker 1: You gotta express yourself. You gotta let that out, express yourself.

1202
00:54:54,280 --> 00:54:57,279
Speaker 1: And I'm like, no, but it's wrong, because I really

1203
00:54:57,400 --> 00:55:01,040
Speaker 1: do love you. I really do appreciate you giving me life,

1204
00:55:01,200 --> 00:55:03,520
Speaker 1: even though I hate this life a lot of days,

1205
00:55:03,960 --> 00:55:06,600
Speaker 1: like a lot of days I hate even Like, man,

1206
00:55:06,640 --> 00:55:09,640
Speaker 1: why couldn't I have just been a tree, Like could

1207
00:55:10,280 --> 00:55:12,120
Speaker 1: just stay in one place and watch the world change

1208
00:55:12,160 --> 00:55:15,200
Speaker 1: around me, Like, but then trees get abused to.

1209
00:55:15,520 --> 00:55:19,040
Speaker 2: Yeah, for sure, for sure, there's there's there's a great Yeah,

1210
00:55:19,040 --> 00:55:21,239
Speaker 2: I mean trees live through a lot, and they've seen

1211
00:55:21,280 --> 00:55:22,280
Speaker 2: a lot, and they've been through.

1212
00:55:22,120 --> 00:55:23,520
Speaker 1: And they lived through a lot of abuse.

1213
00:55:23,719 --> 00:55:26,600
Speaker 2: Yeah for sure. But there's so much in what you're

1214
00:55:26,600 --> 00:55:29,160
Speaker 2: saying that I think resonates so deeply with me. This

1215
00:55:30,400 --> 00:55:34,160
Speaker 2: curiosity and context around how our parents became who they

1216
00:55:34,400 --> 00:55:40,800
Speaker 2: were is so huge, Like to actually have context of

1217
00:55:40,920 --> 00:55:42,919
Speaker 2: how your dad became your dad, how your mom became

1218
00:55:42,960 --> 00:55:45,520
Speaker 2: your mom. This isn't a matter of whose fault is it.

1219
00:55:45,960 --> 00:55:48,279
Speaker 2: It's your your fault. It's a count, it's not that

1220
00:55:48,400 --> 00:55:51,000
Speaker 2: it's let's understand people's stories.

1221
00:55:51,120 --> 00:55:54,360
Speaker 1: Yeah, So I don't feel like that it's your fault.

1222
00:55:54,480 --> 00:55:57,439
Speaker 1: Yeah that it's not my fault. It's not your fault.

1223
00:55:57,680 --> 00:56:00,719
Speaker 1: You had these experiences, and I think I like to

1224
00:56:00,800 --> 00:56:03,120
Speaker 1: imagine that there's a contract that you signed with God

1225
00:56:03,200 --> 00:56:05,880
Speaker 1: before you got here that says this is the stuff

1226
00:56:05,880 --> 00:56:07,839
Speaker 1: you're gonna go through so you can accomplish these things.

1227
00:56:08,239 --> 00:56:11,200
Speaker 1: And maybe their job was just to make me. Maybe

1228
00:56:11,360 --> 00:56:14,080
Speaker 1: their their job was to you know, be in certain

1229
00:56:14,080 --> 00:56:16,440
Speaker 1: people's lives and find this thing and to activate this

1230
00:56:16,600 --> 00:56:19,799
Speaker 1: person for that and activate this person for this. Maybe

1231
00:56:19,880 --> 00:56:22,440
Speaker 1: that was their job. Maybe that that's the contract they signed.

1232
00:56:22,840 --> 00:56:24,560
Speaker 1: And I hope my mom has like a whole bunch

1233
00:56:24,640 --> 00:56:28,000
Speaker 1: more stuff to do, uh and lives a lot longer.

1234
00:56:28,120 --> 00:56:30,520
Speaker 1: And I hope I do get her into college and

1235
00:56:30,840 --> 00:56:33,520
Speaker 1: like she doesn't fight the teachers or anything like that.

1236
00:56:33,719 --> 00:56:36,279
Speaker 1: Like I hope that it turns out great and she

1237
00:56:36,360 --> 00:56:38,719
Speaker 1: does get her certification and calling their yards and she's

1238
00:56:38,719 --> 00:56:40,439
Speaker 1: able to cook and do whatever it is she wants

1239
00:56:40,480 --> 00:56:43,000
Speaker 1: to do. Like whatever her dream is, I want her

1240
00:56:43,080 --> 00:56:45,959
Speaker 1: to have her dream, and I want to I would

1241
00:56:45,960 --> 00:56:47,960
Speaker 1: love to facilitate it. But also I want to protect

1242
00:56:48,000 --> 00:56:50,600
Speaker 1: the safety of other years at the same time and

1243
00:56:51,320 --> 00:56:56,040
Speaker 1: the you know, the mental sanity of others because school, Yeah,

1244
00:56:56,080 --> 00:56:57,800
Speaker 1: maybe it's set up a part. Maybe I have professors

1245
00:56:57,880 --> 00:57:00,839
Speaker 1: come to teach her, but she wants to go. Yeah,

1246
00:57:02,800 --> 00:57:04,560
Speaker 1: so maybe I set it up like you know, hire

1247
00:57:04,680 --> 00:57:09,240
Speaker 1: some actors and you know, you know, like she's at school,

1248
00:57:09,280 --> 00:57:11,880
Speaker 1: you at school, and then maybe they are a psychologists,

1249
00:57:12,239 --> 00:57:14,640
Speaker 1: like you know, maybe maybe she's work studying. Maybe she's

1250
00:57:14,680 --> 00:57:17,320
Speaker 1: a study. Maybe it's a study program where there's a

1251
00:57:17,520 --> 00:57:19,680
Speaker 1: therapists in the room, but they study in culinary arts

1252
00:57:19,720 --> 00:57:21,880
Speaker 1: and they see how someone with this type of damage

1253
00:57:21,920 --> 00:57:24,720
Speaker 1: in their brain operates in this type of environment. You know,

1254
00:57:24,840 --> 00:57:28,880
Speaker 1: what I should make some money off of it. Maybe

1255
00:57:28,920 --> 00:57:30,960
Speaker 1: that could contribute to the generation of wealth. I'm trying

1256
00:57:31,000 --> 00:57:31,520
Speaker 1: to create this.

1257
00:57:31,640 --> 00:57:37,040
Speaker 2: Family, did you always you know? Honestly, I think when

1258
00:57:37,040 --> 00:57:39,360
Speaker 2: people read this book, they're going to laugh as I'm

1259
00:57:39,400 --> 00:57:42,640
Speaker 2: laughing right now, and they're also going to feel. And

1260
00:57:42,720 --> 00:57:44,680
Speaker 2: I'm not just saying this is flattering. I'm not just

1261
00:57:44,720 --> 00:57:47,040
Speaker 2: saying it because you're here, right, I really do mean this.

1262
00:57:47,880 --> 00:57:51,640
Speaker 2: It's very rare to meet someone who's been through as

1263
00:57:51,720 --> 00:57:54,160
Speaker 2: much as you have and hear it in a processed,

1264
00:57:54,680 --> 00:57:59,280
Speaker 2: thoughtful way. Yes, it's hilarious, but it's also processed. Was

1265
00:58:00,000 --> 00:58:02,320
Speaker 2: what else apart from comedy was your therapy? Like? What

1266
00:58:02,520 --> 00:58:05,120
Speaker 2: else has been part of this healing journey? To help

1267
00:58:05,200 --> 00:58:06,840
Speaker 2: process the actual therapy?

1268
00:58:08,040 --> 00:58:10,520
Speaker 1: Therapy? Yeah, I was like ordered by the course to

1269
00:58:10,600 --> 00:58:14,760
Speaker 1: go to therapy eventually, and like, uh, that helped a lot. Man.

1270
00:58:14,920 --> 00:58:17,600
Speaker 1: Some therapists were really good and some were like horrible,

1271
00:58:17,840 --> 00:58:19,400
Speaker 1: And I felt like I was like sitting in a

1272
00:58:19,480 --> 00:58:22,360
Speaker 1: therapist's office just doing stand up for them because they're

1273
00:58:22,400 --> 00:58:24,800
Speaker 1: giggling and laughing and stuff, and I'm like, heal me,

1274
00:58:25,040 --> 00:58:28,640
Speaker 1: heal me, like get the pain away, like give me

1275
00:58:28,680 --> 00:58:32,000
Speaker 1: where I can like function, and they would make suggestions,

1276
00:58:32,040 --> 00:58:34,640
Speaker 1: and those suggestions actually like did make a difference. That

1277
00:58:34,720 --> 00:58:36,720
Speaker 1: one therapist that said, like, get back to doing stand

1278
00:58:36,800 --> 00:58:38,240
Speaker 1: up as a hobby, just do it as a hobby,

1279
00:58:38,320 --> 00:58:41,320
Speaker 1: and that turned into a full blown living And I appreciate,

1280
00:58:42,040 --> 00:58:46,360
Speaker 1: appreciate her for saying that. But like actual therapy, actually

1281
00:58:46,480 --> 00:58:50,600
Speaker 1: reading books, like actually like reading different books about like

1282
00:58:52,120 --> 00:58:56,200
Speaker 1: self care, like self care stuff, and maybe they'd be like,

1283
00:58:56,600 --> 00:58:58,560
Speaker 1: you read this three hundred page book, and it'd be

1284
00:58:58,680 --> 00:59:00,240
Speaker 1: like one thing in it that I could tell with

1285
00:59:00,360 --> 00:59:03,960
Speaker 1: me man Louise Hayes. I love me some Louise Hayes.

1286
00:59:04,640 --> 00:59:07,760
Speaker 1: That lady, if she was still alive, I remember when

1287
00:59:07,800 --> 00:59:10,080
Speaker 1: she died, I cried for it. If she was still alive,

1288
00:59:10,480 --> 00:59:12,680
Speaker 1: I kiss I kiss her right on her third eye

1289
00:59:12,720 --> 00:59:16,560
Speaker 1: and say thank you, kiss her right on her third eye. Yeah,

1290
00:59:16,600 --> 00:59:21,560
Speaker 1: because that like her her. Like mantras the you Can

1291
00:59:21,640 --> 00:59:24,880
Speaker 1: Heal your Body book, like even though I don't know

1292
00:59:24,920 --> 00:59:28,000
Speaker 1: if those those are mantras really help, I do them anyways,

1293
00:59:28,280 --> 00:59:31,120
Speaker 1: you know, just distract my mind from whatever that's going on.

1294
00:59:32,720 --> 00:59:34,960
Speaker 1: I don't think the one for indometriosis works. I think

1295
00:59:34,960 --> 00:59:39,640
Speaker 1: you gotta we gotta rewrite that one. But but but

1296
00:59:40,360 --> 00:59:44,560
Speaker 1: I mean just just those things like the self care,

1297
00:59:45,080 --> 00:59:50,480
Speaker 1: self care, being self aware, like and it's a process.

1298
00:59:50,800 --> 00:59:51,000
Speaker 2: You know.

1299
00:59:51,240 --> 00:59:54,440
Speaker 1: Look, I've been drinking. I've been drinking since I was

1300
00:59:54,520 --> 00:59:56,880
Speaker 1: twenty one years old, on and off. I would go

1301
00:59:57,120 --> 01:00:01,360
Speaker 1: years without drinking. Drink now, drink, drink whatever. Not really

1302
01:00:01,440 --> 01:00:04,520
Speaker 1: my bag. You know, have my incidents. And I'm just like,

1303
01:00:04,600 --> 01:00:07,960
Speaker 1: you know what, I ain't gonna be drinking no more.

1304
01:00:08,240 --> 01:00:10,440
Speaker 1: I'm cool. And that was five months ago, by the.

1305
01:00:10,440 --> 01:00:12,360
Speaker 2: Way, congratulations, Yeah, not.

1306
01:00:12,440 --> 01:00:16,080
Speaker 1: Six months, but we can roll with six It'll be

1307
01:00:16,200 --> 01:00:18,840
Speaker 1: six months, it'll be six years. It'll be probably sixteen

1308
01:00:18,960 --> 01:00:19,520
Speaker 1: years from now.

1309
01:00:19,760 --> 01:00:19,800
Speaker 2: Like.

1310
01:00:20,560 --> 01:00:22,880
Speaker 1: And I have like a big old mocktail company, and

1311
01:00:25,520 --> 01:00:28,440
Speaker 1: I found this non alcoholic roseta is bomb.

1312
01:00:28,680 --> 01:00:29,520
Speaker 2: Okay, what is this?

1313
01:00:29,600 --> 01:00:31,520
Speaker 1: It's bomb. I can't even tell you the name because

1314
01:00:31,560 --> 01:00:35,560
Speaker 1: I need they need to pay me. I don't spend

1315
01:00:35,600 --> 01:00:37,600
Speaker 1: so much money on it. Nine because like when I

1316
01:00:38,000 --> 01:00:40,560
Speaker 1: go to parties, I always bring it, bring whatever I

1317
01:00:40,720 --> 01:00:42,760
Speaker 1: like to drink to the party. I just went to

1318
01:00:42,920 --> 01:00:47,200
Speaker 1: mgk's party, his birthday party, and I brought the non

1319
01:00:47,240 --> 01:00:49,920
Speaker 1: alcoholic rose. People like, oh, you're drinking what is that?

1320
01:00:50,000 --> 01:00:52,000
Speaker 1: What you're drinking? I'm like, non alcoholic rose you want

1321
01:00:52,000 --> 01:00:54,320
Speaker 1: to try something like, oh this is good. I was like, yep,

1322
01:00:54,360 --> 01:00:57,400
Speaker 1: and my body's not gonna hurt tomorrow, yours will nice.

1323
01:00:57,640 --> 01:01:00,600
Speaker 2: Nice, it's so good. Oh my god, up the name here.

1324
01:01:00,600 --> 01:01:03,040
Speaker 2: They're gonna come find it. I don't know. I don't know.

1325
01:01:03,120 --> 01:01:03,360
Speaker 2: I don't.

1326
01:01:03,440 --> 01:01:06,640
Speaker 1: I feel like they want. I feel like they won't.

1327
01:01:07,440 --> 01:01:09,680
Speaker 1: I feel like they gotta come find they know they

1328
01:01:10,160 --> 01:01:11,080
Speaker 1: they don't. Whole foods.

1329
01:01:11,240 --> 01:01:15,320
Speaker 2: Okay, you're dropping the little clues, the little whole foods.

1330
01:01:15,360 --> 01:01:18,840
Speaker 1: And it's and it's the animal on the cup.

1331
01:01:21,040 --> 01:01:23,600
Speaker 2: I love it. All the hents are drop now the hints.

1332
01:01:23,480 --> 01:01:26,360
Speaker 1: Drop also like this not alcoholic vodka too, even though

1333
01:01:26,520 --> 01:01:30,400
Speaker 1: it's I just imagine that it's rubbing alcohol though that's

1334
01:01:30,400 --> 01:01:32,080
Speaker 1: what it kind of tastes like. But it don't. It

1335
01:01:32,160 --> 01:01:36,120
Speaker 1: doesn't just rubbing alcohol like alcohol is alcohol.

1336
01:01:36,840 --> 01:01:37,600
Speaker 2: It is alcohol.

1337
01:01:37,680 --> 01:01:40,760
Speaker 1: It's not alcohol. It's not alcoholic tastes.

1338
01:01:40,640 --> 01:01:42,280
Speaker 2: But that's good though. No, it tastes exactly how you

1339
01:01:42,320 --> 01:01:45,040
Speaker 2: want it to taste. Oh you don't like okay, I.

1340
01:01:45,120 --> 01:01:47,160
Speaker 1: Never look, I never really liked to taste of the vodka.

1341
01:01:47,240 --> 01:01:49,200
Speaker 1: But you know, you put a little flavor, a little

1342
01:01:49,240 --> 01:01:51,280
Speaker 1: sugar in. They drop a jolly rancher in there, and

1343
01:01:51,360 --> 01:01:54,120
Speaker 1: you know what I'm saying, for some lemons, make an alcohaline.

1344
01:01:54,480 --> 01:01:56,640
Speaker 1: That's what I would tell myself. Got it, but it

1345
01:01:56,760 --> 01:01:58,400
Speaker 1: takes the pain away. It would take the pain away

1346
01:01:58,440 --> 01:01:58,640
Speaker 1: from me.

1347
01:01:59,520 --> 01:02:02,000
Speaker 2: And now and now now you don't use that to

1348
01:02:02,080 --> 01:02:03,000
Speaker 2: take the pain away, so.

1349
01:02:03,800 --> 01:02:07,280
Speaker 1: You just sit in the pain, which he ain't got

1350
01:02:07,360 --> 01:02:08,320
Speaker 1: process sick.

1351
01:02:10,800 --> 01:02:15,800
Speaker 2: With your father, I felt like ultimately he's guilt and

1352
01:02:15,880 --> 01:02:18,800
Speaker 2: shame kind of made you feel like you lost him

1353
01:02:18,800 --> 01:02:22,360
Speaker 2: again because that was so heavy for him that he

1354
01:02:22,520 --> 01:02:23,840
Speaker 2: kind of distanced me.

1355
01:02:24,040 --> 01:02:26,240
Speaker 1: He distanced him stuff from me. I think he knew

1356
01:02:26,280 --> 01:02:28,520
Speaker 1: he was sick, and then he didn't want me to

1357
01:02:28,600 --> 01:02:31,320
Speaker 1: see him like that, and he didn't want to have

1358
01:02:31,480 --> 01:02:33,840
Speaker 1: to depend on me because he knew I would take

1359
01:02:33,840 --> 01:02:34,240
Speaker 1: care of him.

1360
01:02:35,000 --> 01:02:37,240
Speaker 2: Like he knew I never wanted money. He never like

1361
01:02:37,320 --> 01:02:39,000
Speaker 2: you talked about like, he didn't want money from you.

1362
01:02:39,040 --> 01:02:40,320
Speaker 2: You didn't want to be a part of your fame.

1363
01:02:40,400 --> 01:02:42,000
Speaker 2: It wasn't It wasn't there.

1364
01:02:42,000 --> 01:02:44,880
Speaker 1: Now And I would still like fighly pay the light bills,

1365
01:02:44,920 --> 01:02:46,920
Speaker 1: send groceries to his house and say he'd be like,

1366
01:02:46,960 --> 01:02:50,680
Speaker 1: don't do that, Like he wanted to take care of me,

1367
01:02:50,760 --> 01:02:52,720
Speaker 1: but he wasn't capable of taking care of me. He

1368
01:02:52,880 --> 01:02:56,000
Speaker 1: was sick, and I think he didn't want me to

1369
01:02:56,880 --> 01:03:00,720
Speaker 1: know that or have anything to do. Like I think

1370
01:03:00,760 --> 01:03:03,720
Speaker 1: he felt like this is his punishment or whatever for whatever.

1371
01:03:04,720 --> 01:03:06,880
Speaker 1: But he left like a whole like memoryan like what

1372
01:03:07,000 --> 01:03:08,680
Speaker 1: I need to do, how I need to do it,

1373
01:03:08,920 --> 01:03:12,640
Speaker 1: and I did it all Like I'm obedient when it

1374
01:03:12,720 --> 01:03:14,320
Speaker 1: come to my parents, at least I try to be.

1375
01:03:15,400 --> 01:03:16,600
Speaker 1: I definitely am obedient.

1376
01:03:16,760 --> 01:03:19,200
Speaker 2: Did you end up organizing the funeral and attending or.

1377
01:03:19,520 --> 01:03:20,800
Speaker 1: He didn't want no funeral? Oh?

1378
01:03:20,840 --> 01:03:22,800
Speaker 2: Wow, Okay, he didn't want that.

1379
01:03:22,920 --> 01:03:25,680
Speaker 1: He didn't want me spending any money on him because

1380
01:03:25,680 --> 01:03:27,960
Speaker 1: he felt like he didn't spend nothing on me, but

1381
01:03:28,240 --> 01:03:30,040
Speaker 1: I did. But he did want to be buried with

1382
01:03:30,160 --> 01:03:35,080
Speaker 1: his mother, so I and it's against the tradition to cremate.

1383
01:03:35,160 --> 01:03:37,120
Speaker 1: He did not, Like he's like, they're going to be

1384
01:03:37,160 --> 01:03:38,800
Speaker 1: mad at you, but you know, I don't want you

1385
01:03:38,880 --> 01:03:42,040
Speaker 1: spending all the money to take me back, Like, go

1386
01:03:42,120 --> 01:03:44,200
Speaker 1: ahead and cremate me, take me and put me with

1387
01:03:44,320 --> 01:03:46,160
Speaker 1: my mom. And I told him, well, if I cremate, you,

1388
01:03:46,240 --> 01:03:48,200
Speaker 1: don't put half of you with your mama and half

1389
01:03:48,200 --> 01:03:50,640
Speaker 1: of you in my garden because you never really fed

1390
01:03:50,720 --> 01:03:55,840
Speaker 1: me anyways, grow me some food. And I did that,

1391
01:03:56,000 --> 01:03:57,960
Speaker 1: and then I just I just read this thing like

1392
01:03:58,120 --> 01:04:00,840
Speaker 1: last year that if you have a cemetery in your backyard,

1393
01:04:00,920 --> 01:04:03,760
Speaker 1: your property tax free if you got family members like

1394
01:04:03,840 --> 01:04:06,160
Speaker 1: buried in your back I was like, hmm, I wonder

1395
01:04:06,160 --> 01:04:09,480
Speaker 1: if ashes count, because I need good. This property tax

1396
01:04:09,600 --> 01:04:10,080
Speaker 1: is killing me.

1397
01:04:11,840 --> 01:04:12,120
Speaker 2: Interest.

1398
01:04:12,240 --> 01:04:15,120
Speaker 1: I'm always digging for information, especially when it comes to

1399
01:04:15,200 --> 01:04:18,440
Speaker 1: my money and my health. Like, so, yeah, I was

1400
01:04:18,480 --> 01:04:20,800
Speaker 1: just looking for tax baks. Also I saw that, you know,

1401
01:04:20,960 --> 01:04:24,640
Speaker 1: Trump buried you know, his people's on the golf course,

1402
01:04:24,680 --> 01:04:27,200
Speaker 1: and then now they don't have to pay no tax

1403
01:04:27,280 --> 01:04:27,640
Speaker 1: over there.

1404
01:04:27,680 --> 01:04:28,600
Speaker 2: I did see that. Yeah.

1405
01:04:28,760 --> 01:04:31,080
Speaker 1: Yeah, So I was like, oh, what can I do

1406
01:04:31,200 --> 01:04:33,920
Speaker 1: here in south central LA. And I'm like, hey, my

1407
01:04:34,000 --> 01:04:36,760
Speaker 1: daddy's over here near the collar greens. You've got the

1408
01:04:36,800 --> 01:04:37,840
Speaker 1: chili peppers in the mints.

1409
01:04:42,200 --> 01:04:44,080
Speaker 2: Let's know if that goes through, let's know if you

1410
01:04:44,160 --> 01:04:44,680
Speaker 2: figure out.

1411
01:04:45,040 --> 01:04:48,360
Speaker 1: They told me no, I already went to the city

1412
01:04:48,400 --> 01:04:50,320
Speaker 1: and tried it. I was like, my father is in

1413
01:04:50,400 --> 01:04:54,000
Speaker 1: the backyard. They was like, no, you need to exhumb

1414
01:04:54,000 --> 01:04:55,919
Speaker 1: my body. I was like, well, it's ashes. I can't really,

1415
01:04:56,440 --> 01:04:58,560
Speaker 1: I'm sure the plants ate him up two years ago.

1416
01:04:58,920 --> 01:05:01,520
Speaker 1: That was back in twenty seventeen, you know, so I'm

1417
01:05:01,560 --> 01:05:03,800
Speaker 1: pretty sure he's gone, gone, gone.

1418
01:05:03,920 --> 01:05:06,120
Speaker 2: But yeah, you're talking about taking care of your money

1419
01:05:06,160 --> 01:05:08,320
Speaker 2: and your health. You were saying there was one point

1420
01:05:08,360 --> 01:05:10,760
Speaker 2: in time where you had like a billboard up for

1421
01:05:10,880 --> 01:05:13,800
Speaker 2: your show, but then you still had like a you know,

1422
01:05:14,000 --> 01:05:18,080
Speaker 2: like a Obama phone. I think you called it. Yeah,

1423
01:05:19,360 --> 01:05:22,640
Speaker 2: You've always tried to figure that out even now, Like

1424
01:05:23,080 --> 01:05:25,479
Speaker 2: at one point you lived homeless when you were growing

1425
01:05:25,520 --> 01:05:27,280
Speaker 2: up in your teens and like living in a car,

1426
01:05:28,320 --> 01:05:30,040
Speaker 2: but now you still live in the area you grew

1427
01:05:30,120 --> 01:05:34,600
Speaker 2: up in. Yeah, and that's to inspire others to see

1428
01:05:34,640 --> 01:05:37,720
Speaker 2: what's possible and see that you can still move because

1429
01:05:37,760 --> 01:05:40,080
Speaker 2: usually people make it and then they leave.

1430
01:05:40,240 --> 01:05:42,400
Speaker 1: Right But you you really felt that that was Yeah,

1431
01:05:42,440 --> 01:05:46,080
Speaker 1: I felt its important to stay. I saw I like it.

1432
01:05:47,000 --> 01:05:49,880
Speaker 1: I feel safe over there, and I want to be

1433
01:05:49,960 --> 01:05:53,040
Speaker 1: where I'm wanted. You know, I don't want to be

1434
01:05:53,120 --> 01:05:54,959
Speaker 1: where I'm tolerated. I want to be where I'm wanted.

1435
01:05:55,200 --> 01:05:57,640
Speaker 1: So it's staying in the hood. I just feel like

1436
01:05:57,720 --> 01:06:00,760
Speaker 1: I'm a great example to these other kids. Look, Tiffany

1437
01:06:00,760 --> 01:06:03,080
Speaker 1: couldn't read that good. Tiffany couldn't read it all for

1438
01:06:03,120 --> 01:06:06,080
Speaker 1: a minute. Tiffany couldn't this, Tiffany couldn't that. And look

1439
01:06:06,120 --> 01:06:07,800
Speaker 1: what she has. She on the billboard right on the

1440
01:06:07,880 --> 01:06:10,400
Speaker 1: corner front of the house. She own that house right there,

1441
01:06:10,920 --> 01:06:13,800
Speaker 1: and like three other houses on this street. She also

1442
01:06:13,920 --> 01:06:15,880
Speaker 1: doing this. She's doing that like she doing stuff in

1443
01:06:16,000 --> 01:06:19,040
Speaker 1: a community, Like I'm a firm believer of like, oh,

1444
01:06:19,120 --> 01:06:21,760
Speaker 1: if my community is like messed up, I don't have

1445
01:06:21,880 --> 01:06:24,200
Speaker 1: to leave my community. I can stay right here and

1446
01:06:24,280 --> 01:06:27,440
Speaker 1: I can make it better. Now if if I was,

1447
01:06:27,720 --> 01:06:30,280
Speaker 1: like if I was the gang member, maybe it'd be

1448
01:06:30,440 --> 01:06:32,920
Speaker 1: more difficult, but maybe I could be influencing the other

1449
01:06:32,960 --> 01:06:35,040
Speaker 1: people in the gang to like, Okay, we're gonna do

1450
01:06:35,120 --> 01:06:36,760
Speaker 1: this now. This is what the gang's gonna do. Now,

1451
01:06:36,840 --> 01:06:38,840
Speaker 1: this is what we're doing that. Now. Now you're the manager,

1452
01:06:39,000 --> 01:06:40,960
Speaker 1: you the security, you do this, Like you gotta buy

1453
01:06:41,000 --> 01:06:42,960
Speaker 1: a house. Now you have to buy a house. Now.

1454
01:06:43,040 --> 01:06:45,640
Speaker 1: It's funny when somebody buys a house, how they're like

1455
01:06:45,840 --> 01:06:49,240
Speaker 1: perspective changes on what type of activities they participate in.

1456
01:06:49,480 --> 01:06:52,120
Speaker 1: Oh interesting, yeah, Like that's what I've noticed anyways, from

1457
01:06:52,200 --> 01:06:54,320
Speaker 1: like my hood friends, like people in the community, like

1458
01:06:54,880 --> 01:06:57,000
Speaker 1: what they was all about fighting, all about this, all

1459
01:06:57,000 --> 01:06:58,680
Speaker 1: about it. As soon as they bought a house, They're like,

1460
01:06:58,760 --> 01:07:00,440
Speaker 1: oh no, I can't be doing all that. I gotta

1461
01:07:00,440 --> 01:07:02,360
Speaker 1: cut my grass. I gotta this, I gotta do this.

1462
01:07:02,720 --> 01:07:04,320
Speaker 1: I need to make my mortgage. I need to do this,

1463
01:07:04,480 --> 01:07:06,040
Speaker 1: like I gotta go to work. I gotta do this.

1464
01:07:06,560 --> 01:07:10,120
Speaker 1: Like it kind of changes the activity that you participate in,

1465
01:07:10,680 --> 01:07:12,360
Speaker 1: Like you might still be a thug and still be

1466
01:07:12,440 --> 01:07:15,280
Speaker 1: a gangster, but I gotta go get my money. I

1467
01:07:15,360 --> 01:07:17,400
Speaker 1: don't have time to be fighting you. I don't have

1468
01:07:17,520 --> 01:07:19,640
Speaker 1: time to be like potentially killing you and losing my house,

1469
01:07:19,680 --> 01:07:23,800
Speaker 1: even though the house could help me post bail. Like also,

1470
01:07:23,960 --> 01:07:26,480
Speaker 1: never always be telling them like I can't imagine you say,

1471
01:07:26,520 --> 01:07:28,000
Speaker 1: and this is my block, this is my block, but

1472
01:07:28,080 --> 01:07:30,400
Speaker 1: you on section eight. You don't own nothing on this block.

1473
01:07:31,320 --> 01:07:33,600
Speaker 1: Like you own nothing on this block, but this is

1474
01:07:33,640 --> 01:07:38,400
Speaker 1: your block. No, this block belongs to the Herreras, the Zazinski's,

1475
01:07:38,840 --> 01:07:41,040
Speaker 1: the go like this block well alongs everybody that owns

1476
01:07:41,120 --> 01:07:43,640
Speaker 1: land over here. You don't own nothing. You actually paying

1477
01:07:43,640 --> 01:07:48,280
Speaker 1: twelve dollars a month in rent in selling dope like

1478
01:07:48,720 --> 01:07:51,280
Speaker 1: you a rental store friend like you not? You don't

1479
01:07:51,400 --> 01:07:54,480
Speaker 1: own nothing over here. Who in your crew owns something?

1480
01:07:55,200 --> 01:07:57,440
Speaker 1: Like to me them, that's more like, okay, this is

1481
01:07:57,480 --> 01:08:00,560
Speaker 1: our block, Like do your granny pass your ranny? Don't

1482
01:08:00,560 --> 01:08:02,880
Speaker 1: even you sold like y'all sold it and still rent,

1483
01:08:03,000 --> 01:08:06,960
Speaker 1: like you don't nobody owns anything on this block. But

1484
01:08:07,040 --> 01:08:09,760
Speaker 1: you're saying it's your block. It ain't your block. Bruh.

1485
01:08:10,280 --> 01:08:13,439
Speaker 1: You can't even inherit anything over here, so you look

1486
01:08:13,520 --> 01:08:15,920
Speaker 1: like an idiot. You're protecting off their stuff and you're

1487
01:08:15,920 --> 01:08:18,599
Speaker 1: not even really protecting it. You're running it into the ground.

1488
01:08:18,720 --> 01:08:21,640
Speaker 1: Like how you expect anybody to really respect you? You

1489
01:08:21,720 --> 01:08:24,160
Speaker 1: don't even own anything? Like would you own this old

1490
01:08:24,200 --> 01:08:26,600
Speaker 1: ass oesmobile with them rims? You own the rims? Or no?

1491
01:08:26,680 --> 01:08:31,400
Speaker 1: You renting those rims? You don't even own the rims? Like, yeah,

1492
01:08:31,479 --> 01:08:34,320
Speaker 1: life is temporary, but you got four kids. They need

1493
01:08:34,400 --> 01:08:36,080
Speaker 1: to have something to inherit. What are they going to

1494
01:08:36,160 --> 01:08:40,080
Speaker 1: inherit from you? Those rims? You could do better, bruh?

1495
01:08:41,320 --> 01:08:41,719
Speaker 1: Do better?

1496
01:08:41,920 --> 01:08:44,519
Speaker 2: You do you see people? Do you feel that you

1497
01:08:44,640 --> 01:08:46,640
Speaker 2: see things changing and people changing and that.

1498
01:08:46,840 --> 01:08:50,360
Speaker 1: Yeah, if it's slow and paced, yeah it's slow, slowly changing.

1499
01:08:50,439 --> 01:08:54,160
Speaker 1: But also the demographic is changing too, so like but

1500
01:08:54,280 --> 01:08:55,639
Speaker 1: they thought they was going to be in that Section

1501
01:08:55,800 --> 01:08:57,200
Speaker 1: eight for I don't know how long they thought they

1502
01:08:57,280 --> 01:08:59,560
Speaker 1: was gonna be in it. Now the landlord's like, oh no,

1503
01:08:59,600 --> 01:09:01,200
Speaker 1: I don't know longer wanted to be Section A. So

1504
01:09:01,240 --> 01:09:03,400
Speaker 1: you gonna have to pay the four thousand dollars a

1505
01:09:03,479 --> 01:09:05,360
Speaker 1: month for rent or you're gonna have to move. And

1506
01:09:05,439 --> 01:09:08,559
Speaker 1: now they in section al Lancaster, Palmdale, himmet So now

1507
01:09:08,560 --> 01:09:11,600
Speaker 1: I barely even see them anymore, if at all, you know.

1508
01:09:11,920 --> 01:09:14,160
Speaker 1: And they and they're like, hey, I got I bought

1509
01:09:14,200 --> 01:09:16,479
Speaker 1: the house. I bought like people behind the stuff like

1510
01:09:16,520 --> 01:09:18,599
Speaker 1: I had to go way out of the out lay

1511
01:09:18,640 --> 01:09:21,120
Speaker 1: to buy it, but I own something now like this

1512
01:09:21,320 --> 01:09:23,040
Speaker 1: is going better for me. This is going better for me.

1513
01:09:23,120 --> 01:09:26,080
Speaker 1: So that I see changes in like the people that

1514
01:09:26,160 --> 01:09:28,160
Speaker 1: I grew up with, and I'm really happy for them.

1515
01:09:28,640 --> 01:09:30,000
Speaker 1: That's really happy for them.

1516
01:09:30,000 --> 01:09:31,880
Speaker 2: I mean, and it's incredible that you've been able to,

1517
01:09:32,280 --> 01:09:35,040
Speaker 2: you know, make home in the community and you talk

1518
01:09:35,080 --> 01:09:36,840
Speaker 2: about it as your community. It's a place where you

1519
01:09:36,880 --> 01:09:38,200
Speaker 2: feel safe, you feel comfortable.

1520
01:09:38,400 --> 01:09:39,960
Speaker 1: Yeah, never we'd be looking out for each other. And

1521
01:09:40,000 --> 01:09:42,040
Speaker 1: then Asian lady across the street be like I saw

1522
01:09:42,080 --> 01:09:43,920
Speaker 1: the man in the car at the camera, I called

1523
01:09:43,960 --> 01:09:44,439
Speaker 1: the police.

1524
01:09:45,080 --> 01:09:45,439
Speaker 2: Thank you.

1525
01:09:46,320 --> 01:09:48,800
Speaker 1: The dude next door, he's a retired police officer. He

1526
01:09:48,920 --> 01:09:52,120
Speaker 1: be showing people officer like every I said, you should

1527
01:09:52,120 --> 01:09:53,639
Speaker 1: be behind a gate, You should be behind a gate,

1528
01:09:53,640 --> 01:09:56,640
Speaker 1: and I'm like, but behind this door is guns. Like

1529
01:09:56,720 --> 01:09:58,680
Speaker 1: they don't want no, no, no, don't want to smoke, like,

1530
01:09:58,800 --> 01:10:01,519
Speaker 1: don't come up here, and I might make you clean

1531
01:10:01,560 --> 01:10:02,040
Speaker 1: my room map.

1532
01:10:02,200 --> 01:10:05,120
Speaker 2: So it's amazing.

1533
01:10:05,280 --> 01:10:07,360
Speaker 1: Good luck finding anything of any value in there.

1534
01:10:07,600 --> 01:10:11,759
Speaker 2: It's amazing, Tiffany, You've had such a you know, genuinely,

1535
01:10:12,160 --> 01:10:14,120
Speaker 2: we've been doing about your personal life so much. You've

1536
01:10:14,120 --> 01:10:17,639
Speaker 2: had such an amazing professional journey as well. When you're

1537
01:10:18,240 --> 01:10:22,719
Speaker 2: talking about your imagination and even your solutions for wanting

1538
01:10:22,760 --> 01:10:24,639
Speaker 2: a basketball player to hold you and make you feel

1539
01:10:24,680 --> 01:10:26,720
Speaker 2: like a baby, or you know, just the way your

1540
01:10:26,760 --> 01:10:31,840
Speaker 2: imagination works to solve things like what is your imagination

1541
01:10:32,040 --> 01:10:35,439
Speaker 2: saying about creative, artistic, expressive projects like where do you

1542
01:10:36,160 --> 01:10:39,280
Speaker 2: not what's next? Because I don't I don't find that

1543
01:10:39,400 --> 01:10:42,240
Speaker 2: question interesting, but in the sense of like where do

1544
01:10:42,360 --> 01:10:44,880
Speaker 2: you let your imagination run free? And how do you

1545
01:10:44,920 --> 01:10:46,439
Speaker 2: how do you allow it to do that so that

1546
01:10:46,520 --> 01:10:49,679
Speaker 2: you can explore this amazing world you have inside your head.

1547
01:10:50,400 --> 01:10:54,479
Speaker 1: Yes, Tiffany Land. I wish I wish could be an

1548
01:10:54,479 --> 01:10:58,200
Speaker 1: amusement party like Unicorn Island, Black Unicorn Island. Yes, okay,

1549
01:10:58,240 --> 01:11:01,080
Speaker 1: that's the next book. Okay, so well, it's been running

1550
01:11:01,160 --> 01:11:04,120
Speaker 1: so like with music. I love creating music. Like I said,

1551
01:11:04,120 --> 01:11:05,760
Speaker 1: I like singing to the bees. I like singing. I've

1552
01:11:05,800 --> 01:11:10,400
Speaker 1: been preparing like I got a band, and so I've

1553
01:11:10,600 --> 01:11:13,200
Speaker 1: always been kind of in love with like the forties,

1554
01:11:13,240 --> 01:11:16,560
Speaker 1: the thirties, the twenties, you know that jazzy era, the

1555
01:11:16,720 --> 01:11:20,360
Speaker 1: fifties and singing in a like a supper club and

1556
01:11:20,800 --> 01:11:24,080
Speaker 1: doing that. So I just performed at verbrado Oh last month,

1557
01:11:24,240 --> 01:11:27,479
Speaker 1: and it was like super dope. It was so much fun. No,

1558
01:11:27,600 --> 01:11:30,360
Speaker 1: that was this month. Actually it was super fun and

1559
01:11:30,600 --> 01:11:33,920
Speaker 1: like I had this like classic dress on and singing

1560
01:11:34,000 --> 01:11:36,800
Speaker 1: these songs. Now I'm not the best singer, but you

1561
01:11:36,920 --> 01:11:38,760
Speaker 1: know what, if Bob Dylan could make a career out

1562
01:11:38,800 --> 01:11:41,840
Speaker 1: of it, I could too. That's how I feel about it.

1563
01:11:41,920 --> 01:11:44,080
Speaker 1: Like you don't, It's not about how well you sing.

1564
01:11:44,120 --> 01:11:46,840
Speaker 1: It's about how entertaining you are, Like how do you

1565
01:11:46,920 --> 01:11:49,200
Speaker 1: make it? How do you make them feel? It's all

1566
01:11:49,280 --> 01:11:52,760
Speaker 1: about how you That's what entertainment is. It's like, well,

1567
01:11:52,800 --> 01:11:54,600
Speaker 1: you contain these people and you make them feel a

1568
01:11:54,640 --> 01:11:56,160
Speaker 1: certain type of way, and is it a feeling that

1569
01:11:56,200 --> 01:11:57,960
Speaker 1: they want to walk away and say, hey, I want

1570
01:11:58,040 --> 01:11:59,920
Speaker 1: other people to feel that too. That was kind of great,

1571
01:12:00,240 --> 01:12:03,120
Speaker 1: that was amazing, or that was an experience, right, So

1572
01:12:03,360 --> 01:12:06,680
Speaker 1: like I'm very like about that. So I'm singing like

1573
01:12:06,760 --> 01:12:09,320
Speaker 1: old songs from the thirties and twenties and forties and fifties,

1574
01:12:09,680 --> 01:12:12,280
Speaker 1: and then some of my original songs that I've made

1575
01:12:12,840 --> 01:12:15,200
Speaker 1: and I've been working with, like Diane Warren writing some

1576
01:12:15,439 --> 01:12:19,240
Speaker 1: really dope songs to like empower women, empower people anyways,

1577
01:12:19,320 --> 01:12:22,000
Speaker 1: and then like a really cool breakup song it's like

1578
01:12:22,120 --> 01:12:25,519
Speaker 1: my favorite I want you bet, I want you God,

1579
01:12:26,680 --> 01:12:29,840
Speaker 1: I need you bet, I need you out of my life.

1580
01:12:31,320 --> 01:12:35,680
Speaker 1: I fuck, I love it so good. Then then like

1581
01:12:35,840 --> 01:12:37,800
Speaker 1: all the movies I want to make, right, So like

1582
01:12:38,479 --> 01:12:40,000
Speaker 1: somebody's that just like you said you want to make

1583
01:12:40,040 --> 01:12:41,800
Speaker 1: eighty movies by the time you're fifty, you got a

1584
01:12:41,840 --> 01:12:43,640
Speaker 1: long way to go. And I'm like, I didn't say

1585
01:12:43,680 --> 01:12:45,720
Speaker 1: I want to beat in all those movies. I want

1586
01:12:45,760 --> 01:12:49,200
Speaker 1: to create an opportunity for other people to tell their stories,

1587
01:12:49,240 --> 01:12:51,040
Speaker 1: and I'm just producing on it. I'm being a part

1588
01:12:51,120 --> 01:12:53,920
Speaker 1: of the creation process, Like we still on the shot

1589
01:12:53,960 --> 01:12:55,920
Speaker 1: the flow Jow movie. Gotta get that script right, like

1590
01:12:56,000 --> 01:12:57,960
Speaker 1: and I could just imagine how dope that's going to be.

1591
01:12:58,000 --> 01:13:01,080
Speaker 1: The nails, the hair, me running on fast my body,

1592
01:13:01,200 --> 01:13:04,320
Speaker 1: like you know, and hey, if I'm too old, okay,

1593
01:13:04,360 --> 01:13:08,240
Speaker 1: I'm too old, give someone else opportunity or AI is

1594
01:13:08,400 --> 01:13:13,799
Speaker 1: coming in real good. But tell that love story between

1595
01:13:13,880 --> 01:13:18,920
Speaker 1: her and her husband. And then I want to do

1596
01:13:19,400 --> 01:13:24,320
Speaker 1: I want to see the Edda James story. I want

1597
01:13:24,360 --> 01:13:27,040
Speaker 1: to see that, like because she grew up in foster

1598
01:13:27,160 --> 01:13:29,960
Speaker 1: care like me, she been through the ringer, had to

1599
01:13:30,040 --> 01:13:32,560
Speaker 1: perform as a kid, and all the different homes she

1600
01:13:32,680 --> 01:13:35,120
Speaker 1: was in, Like, I want to see that story. Also,

1601
01:13:35,280 --> 01:13:37,520
Speaker 1: I want to do some kind of like a documentary

1602
01:13:37,680 --> 01:13:40,320
Speaker 1: or something about like all these successful women. I have

1603
01:13:40,479 --> 01:13:45,200
Speaker 1: never met one successful woman that has not been through shit.

1604
01:13:46,360 --> 01:13:48,880
Speaker 1: Like any woman that I have ever met or heard

1605
01:13:48,920 --> 01:13:53,600
Speaker 1: of that successful has like been beat up in some

1606
01:13:53,880 --> 01:13:58,120
Speaker 1: kind of way physically, emotionally, mentally something been beat up

1607
01:13:58,160 --> 01:14:00,960
Speaker 1: some kind of and bounce back in like stood strong

1608
01:14:01,120 --> 01:14:03,040
Speaker 1: ten toes down. I'm gonna make this happen, and it

1609
01:14:03,200 --> 01:14:06,760
Speaker 1: happens right, And I want to do something about that

1610
01:14:06,840 --> 01:14:09,200
Speaker 1: because I think right now too, like there's so many

1611
01:14:09,240 --> 01:14:11,479
Speaker 1: young girls that like that I've talked to that seem

1612
01:14:11,560 --> 01:14:14,840
Speaker 1: to feel hopeless, feel like you know, what's the point?

1613
01:14:15,280 --> 01:14:18,040
Speaker 1: Like no, like nobody cares about me. And it's like

1614
01:14:18,760 --> 01:14:21,040
Speaker 1: there are people that care about you, you just can't

1615
01:14:21,080 --> 01:14:24,360
Speaker 1: see them right now. You haven't met them yet, or

1616
01:14:24,479 --> 01:14:26,280
Speaker 1: you have met them, you just don't know how to

1617
01:14:26,439 --> 01:14:31,479
Speaker 1: identify what care is. So something about that I wanted

1618
01:14:31,520 --> 01:14:35,519
Speaker 1: to do Who Framed Roger Rabbit two? I feel like, oh,

1619
01:14:35,600 --> 01:14:37,080
Speaker 1: that would be so good and I want to be

1620
01:14:37,160 --> 01:14:42,639
Speaker 1: the detective and just correct it. Maybe I'll be Rebecca Rabbit,

1621
01:14:42,800 --> 01:14:47,680
Speaker 1: just consister who marries Roger's breth. I don't know, but

1622
01:14:48,160 --> 01:14:50,200
Speaker 1: like I want to see that because that was a

1623
01:14:50,280 --> 01:14:52,240
Speaker 1: really good movie that was based off of some true

1624
01:14:52,240 --> 01:14:54,360
Speaker 1: stuff that happened in Los Angeles. That's why we have

1625
01:14:54,479 --> 01:14:57,760
Speaker 1: Freeways now because of that judge that was in that movie.

1626
01:14:57,800 --> 01:14:59,880
Speaker 1: That's a real judge. So I would love to like

1627
01:15:00,280 --> 01:15:03,400
Speaker 1: do something with that. I have so many ideas. I

1628
01:15:03,479 --> 01:15:07,719
Speaker 1: love it animation. I want to open this grocery store.

1629
01:15:07,840 --> 01:15:10,160
Speaker 1: I could see it in my minds eyes, like I'm

1630
01:15:10,360 --> 01:15:12,680
Speaker 1: shopping in it every day. I know that's going to

1631
01:15:12,760 --> 01:15:17,080
Speaker 1: happen and create some like really awesome human beings.

1632
01:15:17,479 --> 01:15:20,200
Speaker 2: I love how there's no limits their creativity. And I

1633
01:15:20,240 --> 01:15:22,479
Speaker 2: think we I think we're now living in a time

1634
01:15:22,520 --> 01:15:25,040
Speaker 2: in the world where people can be multi hyphenets. And

1635
01:15:25,160 --> 01:15:27,040
Speaker 2: what you just said, it's I think a lot of

1636
01:15:27,080 --> 01:15:29,120
Speaker 2: the time we've been like, oh, you have to be talented,

1637
01:15:29,200 --> 01:15:30,680
Speaker 2: you have to be this, And what we realize is

1638
01:15:30,800 --> 01:15:34,280
Speaker 2: who can make people feel something in any sort of way,

1639
01:15:34,320 --> 01:15:36,280
Speaker 2: and we resonate with that, we all connect with it.

1640
01:15:36,320 --> 01:15:38,400
Speaker 2: And I think if anyone who's listening and watching and

1641
01:15:38,479 --> 01:15:40,760
Speaker 2: wants to do something things, I wish I started ten

1642
01:15:40,840 --> 01:15:42,920
Speaker 2: years ago. I wish I started when I was younger.

1643
01:15:43,000 --> 01:15:44,760
Speaker 2: Oh I didn't get that, you know, I didn't have

1644
01:15:44,840 --> 01:15:47,120
Speaker 2: parents who was supporting it. It's almost like it doesn't matter.

1645
01:15:47,320 --> 01:15:50,200
Speaker 1: It doesn't matter the KFC does started. It was sixty

1646
01:15:50,240 --> 01:15:53,960
Speaker 1: five seven years old. Yeah, he was out and that

1647
01:15:54,040 --> 01:15:56,400
Speaker 1: thing is all over the world. KFC is all over

1648
01:15:56,479 --> 01:15:59,400
Speaker 1: the world. Kentucky Fried Chicken every single country.

1649
01:16:00,320 --> 01:16:02,760
Speaker 2: They had enough competition too. Let McDonald and.

1650
01:16:03,680 --> 01:16:06,080
Speaker 1: What competition is all over the world. Now, he might

1651
01:16:06,120 --> 01:16:07,680
Speaker 1: not have lived long enough to see it be all

1652
01:16:07,720 --> 01:16:10,599
Speaker 1: over the world. But hey, he started something. He's a visionary,

1653
01:16:11,040 --> 01:16:13,360
Speaker 1: and I feel like that's that's what I am at

1654
01:16:13,400 --> 01:16:15,360
Speaker 1: the end of the day. I'm a visionary and I'm

1655
01:16:15,400 --> 01:16:19,000
Speaker 1: an administrator of joy. That's all I am. And some

1656
01:16:19,160 --> 01:16:21,760
Speaker 1: people hate that, and that's okay. That's because you don't

1657
01:16:21,800 --> 01:16:23,880
Speaker 1: know how to process joy. You don't. You got a

1658
01:16:23,920 --> 01:16:26,200
Speaker 1: lot of hurt in your heart, got a lot of hurt.

1659
01:16:26,640 --> 01:16:28,400
Speaker 1: You need to figure out how to process that. And

1660
01:16:28,560 --> 01:16:30,760
Speaker 1: if you want to learn, I'm down to show you

1661
01:16:30,840 --> 01:16:32,759
Speaker 1: a little bit. I can't, you know. I'm still processing

1662
01:16:32,800 --> 01:16:34,800
Speaker 1: my heart. But if you get this book and your joy,

1663
01:16:34,920 --> 01:16:36,800
Speaker 1: I curse you with joy my healthy son and my

1664
01:16:36,920 --> 01:16:39,040
Speaker 1: healthy son, and maybe your breath on stank so bad.

1665
01:16:39,120 --> 01:16:40,479
Speaker 1: I think people with a lot of hate and they

1666
01:16:40,600 --> 01:16:41,639
Speaker 1: art got bad breath.

1667
01:16:41,920 --> 01:16:45,320
Speaker 2: Oh that's an interesting hypothesis. Wow, that's that's interesting. I'm

1668
01:16:45,320 --> 01:16:46,679
Speaker 2: going to start testing that out.

1669
01:16:48,320 --> 01:16:51,920
Speaker 1: My research. I mean, I don't it's funny like people

1670
01:16:51,960 --> 01:16:55,680
Speaker 1: that talk really poorly and negative about other people, they

1671
01:16:55,760 --> 01:16:56,800
Speaker 1: breath usually stank.

1672
01:16:57,200 --> 01:16:58,559
Speaker 2: That's fascinating if you.

1673
01:16:58,600 --> 01:17:00,240
Speaker 1: Think about it. I mean, do you ever sit around

1674
01:17:00,240 --> 01:17:03,360
Speaker 1: people that just talk negative of all the time? You don't,

1675
01:17:03,760 --> 01:17:05,280
Speaker 1: like you could be at a party or something, and

1676
01:17:05,320 --> 01:17:07,600
Speaker 1: they just liked, you know, a bitch did this? Like

1677
01:17:08,560 --> 01:17:13,200
Speaker 1: breath is horrible. They are dying on the inside. Or

1678
01:17:13,200 --> 01:17:15,000
Speaker 1: you ever been in a car with somebody and they

1679
01:17:15,080 --> 01:17:17,639
Speaker 1: don't stop talking in the whole car smell like their breath.

1680
01:17:17,680 --> 01:17:21,519
Speaker 1: It's just atrocious. And then everything when you start to

1681
01:17:21,600 --> 01:17:25,000
Speaker 1: realize everything they're saying is negative. It's not even anything positive.

1682
01:17:25,560 --> 01:17:27,479
Speaker 1: It's a lot of hating their heart. Or they need

1683
01:17:27,560 --> 01:17:31,600
Speaker 1: a dentist because that tooth is dead. There's that that

1684
01:17:31,800 --> 01:17:34,280
Speaker 1: tooth is hating, hating the rest of their body, and

1685
01:17:34,320 --> 01:17:36,000
Speaker 1: when they can end up having a heart attack from that.

1686
01:17:36,360 --> 01:17:38,320
Speaker 1: Did you know most heart attacks come from bad teeth?

1687
01:17:38,640 --> 01:17:40,360
Speaker 2: I did not. That's not Is that true?

1688
01:17:40,479 --> 01:17:43,360
Speaker 1: No, that's not. I think So that's what I think.

1689
01:17:44,960 --> 01:17:49,720
Speaker 1: Resett the Dentist Association loves me for this. But just

1690
01:17:49,800 --> 01:17:51,720
Speaker 1: think about this. Just think about this. Think about this.

1691
01:17:51,840 --> 01:17:54,880
Speaker 1: Every person that you know that has had a heart attack, Okay,

1692
01:17:56,160 --> 01:17:57,280
Speaker 1: did was it teeth nice?

1693
01:18:00,120 --> 01:18:01,559
Speaker 2: I'd have to look into it. I have to look

1694
01:18:01,600 --> 01:18:01,840
Speaker 2: into it.

1695
01:18:02,160 --> 01:18:05,800
Speaker 1: Think about it. Bad teeth, bad heart.

1696
01:18:07,439 --> 01:18:12,040
Speaker 2: Tiffany, tell me what little Tiffany, Little t if little

1697
01:18:12,120 --> 01:18:15,120
Speaker 2: t look to you now, what would you be proud.

1698
01:18:14,920 --> 01:18:18,879
Speaker 1: Of Little Ta be proud that we own so many homes.

1699
01:18:19,240 --> 01:18:21,599
Speaker 1: Little T would be proud that we housing so many

1700
01:18:21,720 --> 01:18:25,040
Speaker 1: foster kids. Little T would be proud that we lived

1701
01:18:25,080 --> 01:18:29,960
Speaker 1: out our dreams of being like on our Senior Hall Show.

1702
01:18:30,520 --> 01:18:33,639
Speaker 1: And although we didn't get pregnant by our senior or anything,

1703
01:18:33,920 --> 01:18:35,960
Speaker 1: still happy that that's a friend that we could call

1704
01:18:36,080 --> 01:18:40,120
Speaker 1: on for advice. Little Tea would be really happy. Little

1705
01:18:40,160 --> 01:18:44,560
Speaker 1: T would be so happy about the car that we

1706
01:18:44,720 --> 01:18:47,080
Speaker 1: have now, even though it's so hoopie right now cause

1707
01:18:47,120 --> 01:18:50,439
Speaker 1: somebody hear my other car. Little TA is happy that

1708
01:18:50,600 --> 01:18:53,040
Speaker 1: I got that car because looking it's like a transformer

1709
01:18:53,240 --> 01:18:56,400
Speaker 1: when a hood go down. Even though it's old and raggedy,

1710
01:18:56,520 --> 01:18:59,679
Speaker 1: she loves that car. Little T would be super happy

1711
01:19:00,080 --> 01:19:02,080
Speaker 1: about the fact that we have enough money that we

1712
01:19:02,240 --> 01:19:05,240
Speaker 1: never have to be hungry again, never hungry, and never

1713
01:19:05,479 --> 01:19:08,800
Speaker 1: homeless again, never, no matter what may. Little T be

1714
01:19:08,800 --> 01:19:11,320
Speaker 1: happy that we made enough friends that if something was

1715
01:19:11,400 --> 01:19:14,679
Speaker 1: to happen, it would be okay. It would be okay

1716
01:19:14,760 --> 01:19:17,040
Speaker 1: that we wouldn't we might not have our own home,

1717
01:19:17,080 --> 01:19:20,960
Speaker 1: but we would have a place to stay. And Little

1718
01:19:21,000 --> 01:19:23,120
Speaker 1: T would be very proud that we didn't go to prison.

1719
01:19:24,640 --> 01:19:26,639
Speaker 1: But Little T is confident that if we went to prison,

1720
01:19:26,680 --> 01:19:32,760
Speaker 1: we would be like doing just finding there, because we

1721
01:19:32,880 --> 01:19:35,080
Speaker 1: was definitely thinking of ways to that could have ended

1722
01:19:35,160 --> 01:19:38,000
Speaker 1: us up in prison, thinking of some really crazy stuff.

1723
01:19:38,400 --> 01:19:43,080
Speaker 1: And she would be proud that like that we can

1724
01:19:43,200 --> 01:19:46,400
Speaker 1: give jobs that like I'm capable of creating jobs, and

1725
01:19:46,439 --> 01:19:48,240
Speaker 1: that every time I say yes to a job, that's

1726
01:19:48,280 --> 01:19:50,440
Speaker 1: two or three hundred people that get to work immediately

1727
01:19:51,240 --> 01:19:54,240
Speaker 1: and thousands that get to work once it comes out,

1728
01:19:54,720 --> 01:19:58,360
Speaker 1: you know, and Little Tea would be like even she

1729
01:19:58,479 --> 01:20:01,679
Speaker 1: would be disappointed that, you know, we got a duy,

1730
01:20:01,800 --> 01:20:04,639
Speaker 1: but even more proud that if you google black women

1731
01:20:04,720 --> 01:20:12,679
Speaker 1: with a duy, only I pop up Gloreala. What would

1732
01:20:12,760 --> 01:20:16,799
Speaker 1: Little T and Josephine Baker reent first? Before Gloreala got hers?

1733
01:20:17,640 --> 01:20:21,679
Speaker 1: It was just me and Josephine Baker. Wow, Google famous

1734
01:20:21,720 --> 01:20:24,000
Speaker 1: Black women with a d uy? See what come up? Wow?

1735
01:20:25,320 --> 01:20:29,280
Speaker 2: What would Little T look at you now and feel like?

1736
01:20:30,520 --> 01:20:34,519
Speaker 1: She'd be like, you are international? We international. They talked

1737
01:20:34,520 --> 01:20:38,360
Speaker 1: about it on the Korean news, the News of Africa.

1738
01:20:39,320 --> 01:20:45,719
Speaker 1: It's international. You are well famous. Suld be so proud.

1739
01:20:46,080 --> 01:20:48,120
Speaker 2: What would you wish that you did? What would you

1740
01:20:48,240 --> 01:20:51,760
Speaker 2: wish if there was anything that she was like, I

1741
01:20:51,840 --> 01:20:53,400
Speaker 2: wish we could get back to that. Wish we could

1742
01:20:53,400 --> 01:20:55,080
Speaker 2: do more of that. I wish I wish there was.

1743
01:20:56,600 --> 01:21:01,280
Speaker 1: I wish we still did that gymnastics cool and the

1744
01:21:01,400 --> 01:21:06,560
Speaker 1: rhythmic dance cool. She wishes that I will. I know

1745
01:21:06,720 --> 01:21:08,440
Speaker 1: she does wish we could have went to the Olympics

1746
01:21:09,240 --> 01:21:13,040
Speaker 1: and been a rhythmic dancer and stuck to that. She's

1747
01:21:13,160 --> 01:21:15,760
Speaker 1: disappointed in me that my splits are not all the

1748
01:21:15,800 --> 01:21:16,879
Speaker 1: way to the ground anymore.

1749
01:21:17,320 --> 01:21:17,840
Speaker 2: There used to be.

1750
01:21:18,160 --> 01:21:19,360
Speaker 1: They used to be to the ground, used to be

1751
01:21:19,400 --> 01:21:23,599
Speaker 1: coochie to the floor. Not no more. She's very disappointed.

1752
01:21:24,400 --> 01:21:29,599
Speaker 1: It's possible, it's possible, with proper training, discipline, this can

1753
01:21:29,680 --> 01:21:32,840
Speaker 1: be done. But she is disappointed also that we didn't

1754
01:21:32,840 --> 01:21:35,719
Speaker 1: become a hula dancers. It's supposed to be a hula dancer.

1755
01:21:37,000 --> 01:21:40,720
Speaker 1: She's disappointed in that too. But other than that, man,

1756
01:21:40,800 --> 01:21:43,000
Speaker 1: that's possible. I took I took a few classes. I

1757
01:21:43,080 --> 01:21:44,879
Speaker 1: know how to work them hips. I'm just not a professional.

1758
01:21:45,600 --> 01:21:48,320
Speaker 1: Just we can create a movie where I end up

1759
01:21:48,320 --> 01:21:50,920
Speaker 1: being a hula dancer. Everything is spossible. Also, she's a

1760
01:21:50,920 --> 01:21:53,080
Speaker 1: little disappointed that we're not working in a snicker factory

1761
01:21:53,240 --> 01:21:56,240
Speaker 1: or know how to make pantyhouse from scratch. I suplos

1762
01:21:56,280 --> 01:21:58,320
Speaker 1: to know how to make pantyhouse by now, but I don't.

1763
01:21:59,040 --> 01:22:01,400
Speaker 1: I love it, but I could, but I don't know

1764
01:22:01,479 --> 01:22:04,880
Speaker 1: how to, like, you know, weave them and fix a run.

1765
01:22:05,000 --> 01:22:07,280
Speaker 1: I'm supposed to know how to fix a run and

1766
01:22:07,360 --> 01:22:08,960
Speaker 1: it's stocking. I know how to put the nail policy

1767
01:22:09,000 --> 01:22:11,000
Speaker 1: on there and stop the hit it with the hair

1768
01:22:11,040 --> 01:22:12,880
Speaker 1: spray stopped the run. But I'm supposed to know how

1769
01:22:12,920 --> 01:22:17,599
Speaker 1: to weave nyh line and stop it. That's what I'm

1770
01:22:17,600 --> 01:22:19,080
Speaker 1: supposed to know how to do. It's not too late

1771
01:22:19,120 --> 01:22:21,000
Speaker 1: to lunch, I keep telling them, little t it ain't

1772
01:22:21,000 --> 01:22:23,360
Speaker 1: too late. We never know. But she is proud that

1773
01:22:23,439 --> 01:22:25,280
Speaker 1: I did make my own beef turkey, even though we're

1774
01:22:25,280 --> 01:22:27,439
Speaker 1: supposed to work in a beef turkey factory. But I

1775
01:22:27,520 --> 01:22:30,919
Speaker 1: know I know how to make beef turkey, So she's

1776
01:22:30,960 --> 01:22:35,040
Speaker 1: proud of that. We got a food dehydrator, and I

1777
01:22:35,120 --> 01:22:38,960
Speaker 1: talk about we isn't me and little Tea. She's still alive,

1778
01:22:39,160 --> 01:22:45,120
Speaker 1: of course, and she still be talking. Mess. Who's up

1779
01:22:45,160 --> 01:22:50,520
Speaker 1: on the did you google? It comes up legendary?

1780
01:22:51,000 --> 01:22:52,879
Speaker 2: You hear that we just checked it verified.

1781
01:22:53,040 --> 01:22:54,760
Speaker 1: I'm just saying that some people will be like, that's you.

1782
01:22:54,840 --> 01:22:56,280
Speaker 1: You should be ashamed of that. But I know a

1783
01:22:56,360 --> 01:23:00,160
Speaker 1: lot of other famous black women who have duys, but

1784
01:23:00,320 --> 01:23:05,920
Speaker 1: nobody knows. Just because nobody cares, they care about me.

1785
01:23:07,080 --> 01:23:08,600
Speaker 1: That's how I look at it. Man, that might be

1786
01:23:08,680 --> 01:23:11,920
Speaker 1: a horrible thing. It might be horrible. It might be

1787
01:23:11,960 --> 01:23:13,599
Speaker 1: horrible for me to think that way. But I did

1788
01:23:13,680 --> 01:23:15,880
Speaker 1: my community service and I'm helping out in all these

1789
01:23:15,880 --> 01:23:18,439
Speaker 1: different places, and I've made new friends because of it,

1790
01:23:19,000 --> 01:23:21,000
Speaker 1: and I might be going on dinner dates with this

1791
01:23:21,120 --> 01:23:29,120
Speaker 1: police now. Because everything happens for a reason. Everything happens

1792
01:23:29,200 --> 01:23:32,320
Speaker 1: for a reason. Every if I get married in Beverly Hills,

1793
01:23:32,360 --> 01:23:37,880
Speaker 1: you know why. Everything happens for a reason. But that

1794
01:23:38,200 --> 01:23:41,160
Speaker 1: allowed me to know that, like little tears, like yo,

1795
01:23:42,640 --> 01:23:45,320
Speaker 1: it's a lot of people that care about us. Because

1796
01:23:45,360 --> 01:23:47,560
Speaker 1: if didn't nobody care about you, nobody would write about it.

1797
01:23:47,600 --> 01:23:49,360
Speaker 1: They wouldn't make videos about it. They wouldn't be like,

1798
01:23:49,400 --> 01:23:52,400
Speaker 1: oh gosh, she's having a breakdown whatever. Like they wouldn't

1799
01:23:52,400 --> 01:23:58,120
Speaker 1: be talking about it like I'm like, I'm white girl famous.

1800
01:23:58,800 --> 01:24:02,360
Speaker 1: They talking about it in Africa, all over Africa. They're

1801
01:24:02,360 --> 01:24:05,160
Speaker 1: talking about in Asia. I don't even know I was

1802
01:24:05,240 --> 01:24:10,840
Speaker 1: popping like that in age, like in Korean news. These

1803
01:24:10,840 --> 01:24:13,760
Speaker 1: studios can now not say she's not international.

1804
01:24:14,720 --> 01:24:15,920
Speaker 2: You can't say this is proof.

1805
01:24:16,320 --> 01:24:21,080
Speaker 1: This is the proof international. BBC talked about it seeing

1806
01:24:23,680 --> 01:24:27,000
Speaker 1: Duy and I blew a point oh three. I was

1807
01:24:27,080 --> 01:24:30,760
Speaker 1: sleep pulled over. Now, maybe I was parked wrong. It

1808
01:24:30,800 --> 01:24:32,160
Speaker 1: should have been a bad parking ticket. That's what it

1809
01:24:32,200 --> 01:24:35,120
Speaker 1: should have been. But you know what it is, what

1810
01:24:35,240 --> 01:24:38,800
Speaker 1: it is. Some things need to happen for came. No

1811
01:24:38,880 --> 01:24:43,280
Speaker 1: studio says she's not international. That proves it right there,

1812
01:24:45,240 --> 01:24:46,880
Speaker 1: right there. It might not be the best way to

1813
01:24:46,920 --> 01:24:49,160
Speaker 1: prove it, but god damn it. That proofs that people care.

1814
01:24:49,840 --> 01:24:53,400
Speaker 2: Tiffney. You are a treat. And I enjoyed this pantomica.

1815
01:24:53,479 --> 01:24:55,599
Speaker 2: I don't think I've ever loved this much on the show.

1816
01:24:55,800 --> 01:24:57,479
Speaker 1: He doesn't even laughing, he was just giggling.

1817
01:25:00,479 --> 01:25:03,439
Speaker 2: Honestly, I'm so so happy that you put this book

1818
01:25:03,439 --> 01:25:05,160
Speaker 2: to them. I'm so grateful that I got to hang

1819
01:25:05,200 --> 01:25:07,000
Speaker 2: out with you and do this with you. Yeah, we're

1820
01:25:07,040 --> 01:25:10,479
Speaker 2: talking for nearly two hours and it's flown by. We

1821
01:25:10,680 --> 01:25:13,120
Speaker 2: end every episode with of on purpose with a fast

1822
01:25:13,200 --> 01:25:15,639
Speaker 2: five or final five. Every question has to be answered

1823
01:25:15,680 --> 01:25:21,280
Speaker 2: in one word to one sentence maximum. Okay, Tiffany, your

1824
01:25:21,360 --> 01:25:23,160
Speaker 2: final five. Now, these are rules.

1825
01:25:23,439 --> 01:25:25,519
Speaker 1: Okay, these are rules to follow rules. Hear that?

1826
01:25:27,760 --> 01:25:31,400
Speaker 2: So question one, okay, Tiffany, what is the best advice

1827
01:25:31,479 --> 01:25:32,679
Speaker 2: you've ever heard or received?

1828
01:25:34,000 --> 01:25:36,160
Speaker 1: Don't let nobody in your house. They don't hand one

1829
01:25:36,200 --> 01:25:36,559
Speaker 1: to lose.

1830
01:25:37,200 --> 01:25:38,960
Speaker 2: I like that that. We never had that love that.

1831
01:25:39,479 --> 01:25:41,720
Speaker 2: Question number two, what is the worst advice you've ever

1832
01:25:41,800 --> 01:25:42,559
Speaker 2: heard or received?

1833
01:25:46,600 --> 01:25:49,639
Speaker 1: I'm just thinking of stupid sa stupid stuff. I've heard

1834
01:25:49,680 --> 01:25:54,800
Speaker 1: me say to me that I know no, because that's

1835
01:25:54,840 --> 01:25:56,840
Speaker 1: a statement that's not necessarily advice.

1836
01:25:57,160 --> 01:26:00,360
Speaker 2: That makes sense. They'll go and say it's coming to

1837
01:26:00,400 --> 01:26:02,360
Speaker 2: your mind. I when to hear look on your face

1838
01:26:02,760 --> 01:26:03,920
Speaker 2: means we have to hear it.

1839
01:26:06,040 --> 01:26:07,880
Speaker 1: Good long ago. Putting no condom on you know I

1840
01:26:08,000 --> 01:26:10,519
Speaker 1: love you. That do not mean a man love you.

1841
01:26:11,560 --> 01:26:13,240
Speaker 1: It do not mean he love you.

1842
01:26:13,520 --> 01:26:14,160
Speaker 2: That's brilliant.

1843
01:26:14,720 --> 01:26:15,840
Speaker 1: That is not love.

1844
01:26:17,360 --> 01:26:18,000
Speaker 2: That's brilliant.

1845
01:26:18,680 --> 01:26:21,439
Speaker 1: That is not love. Every woman out there, just because

1846
01:26:21,479 --> 01:26:23,360
Speaker 1: he don't want to put a condom on does not

1847
01:26:23,560 --> 01:26:25,479
Speaker 1: mean he love you. He is just trying to get

1848
01:26:25,520 --> 01:26:28,120
Speaker 1: wet spit on it.

1849
01:26:28,520 --> 01:26:34,680
Speaker 2: I'm glad you shared that. Sorry, I'm glad you shaid it.

1850
01:26:34,760 --> 01:26:40,280
Speaker 2: That's the question Number three, What is your most repeated

1851
01:26:40,439 --> 01:26:41,799
Speaker 2: thought on a daily basis?

1852
01:26:44,200 --> 01:26:47,960
Speaker 1: Clean your room, clean room, Clean your room. I gotta

1853
01:26:47,960 --> 01:26:49,519
Speaker 1: clean my room. I'm gonna make some time to clean

1854
01:26:49,600 --> 01:26:52,800
Speaker 1: his room. That's okay, you can't keep working on that

1855
01:26:52,880 --> 01:26:54,000
Speaker 1: one project cleaning room.

1856
01:26:54,439 --> 01:26:58,439
Speaker 2: That's great. Question him before, What's something that you used

1857
01:26:58,479 --> 01:27:01,479
Speaker 2: to value that you don't value anymore? Mmm.

1858
01:27:02,320 --> 01:27:06,320
Speaker 1: Something that I used to value that I don't value anymore.

1859
01:27:07,400 --> 01:27:12,680
Speaker 1: Saving checks. I used to save checks. Okay, checks that

1860
01:27:12,760 --> 01:27:14,759
Speaker 1: people are writing, I put them in a photo album.

1861
01:27:15,640 --> 01:27:18,439
Speaker 1: I don't do that no more because too many checks

1862
01:27:18,760 --> 01:27:25,040
Speaker 1: there's direct deposits. But but yeah, but if someone hands

1863
01:27:25,080 --> 01:27:27,280
Speaker 1: me a check today, I will take a picture of it.

1864
01:27:27,960 --> 01:27:29,759
Speaker 1: But I don't put it in a photo album anymore.

1865
01:27:29,800 --> 01:27:31,200
Speaker 1: It's in a photo though, in my phone.

1866
01:27:31,280 --> 01:27:32,120
Speaker 2: But it's beautiful.

1867
01:27:32,400 --> 01:27:34,680
Speaker 1: But I used to like because I thought it was

1868
01:27:34,760 --> 01:27:38,320
Speaker 1: so awesome. If somebody handwrite me a check, they sign it,

1869
01:27:38,600 --> 01:27:40,640
Speaker 1: even if it's a company, they seem they mailed it

1870
01:27:40,760 --> 01:27:43,120
Speaker 1: to me and it's money. And then when you could

1871
01:27:43,120 --> 01:27:46,040
Speaker 1: take a picture of it, deposit. I have two photo

1872
01:27:46,080 --> 01:27:47,759
Speaker 1: albums full of checks.

1873
01:27:47,840 --> 01:27:51,360
Speaker 2: I love that. Fifth and final question, Tiffany. We asked

1874
01:27:51,400 --> 01:27:53,639
Speaker 2: just every guest who's ever been on the show. If

1875
01:27:53,680 --> 01:27:56,360
Speaker 2: you could create one law that everyone in the world

1876
01:27:56,479 --> 01:27:58,000
Speaker 2: had to follow, what would it be.

1877
01:27:58,680 --> 01:28:01,160
Speaker 1: Well, you have to hug someone every Oh, I love

1878
01:28:01,240 --> 01:28:04,840
Speaker 1: that one. A hug a hug, even if you don't

1879
01:28:04,880 --> 01:28:06,240
Speaker 1: like being a hug, you got a hug. Like, if

1880
01:28:06,240 --> 01:28:08,719
Speaker 1: you don't get at least one hug in you gotta

1881
01:28:08,720 --> 01:28:13,720
Speaker 1: get a hug or make someone else laugh every day. Yeah,

1882
01:28:13,800 --> 01:28:14,840
Speaker 1: that would make the world better.

1883
01:28:14,920 --> 01:28:15,519
Speaker 2: It's good, Lork.

1884
01:28:15,600 --> 01:28:17,160
Speaker 1: A lot of people are angry because they don't get

1885
01:28:17,240 --> 01:28:21,920
Speaker 1: no hugs. Nobody touches them and they need a hug. Yeah,

1886
01:28:22,040 --> 01:28:24,200
Speaker 1: but don't be just her. People be randomly just hugging me.

1887
01:28:24,439 --> 01:28:26,200
Speaker 1: Yesterday was in the airport. This lady just came up

1888
01:28:26,240 --> 01:28:28,360
Speaker 1: to me crying full tears, and she said just thank

1889
01:28:28,439 --> 01:28:32,519
Speaker 1: you so much, thank you so much, and I start crying.

1890
01:28:32,520 --> 01:28:35,040
Speaker 2: I was like, what are we thinking? It's going up?

1891
01:28:35,120 --> 01:28:37,400
Speaker 1: And she just hugged me. And then I was like

1892
01:28:37,600 --> 01:28:39,200
Speaker 1: happy that she hugged me. But then at the same

1893
01:28:39,240 --> 01:28:40,760
Speaker 1: time I was mad because she had on tears and

1894
01:28:40,800 --> 01:28:41,759
Speaker 1: it was all on my shoulder.

1895
01:28:42,120 --> 01:28:45,400
Speaker 2: You set the Lord. She just falling the Lord.

1896
01:28:45,680 --> 01:28:47,639
Speaker 1: She was falling the lot. And I appreciated the hug,

1897
01:28:47,720 --> 01:28:49,200
Speaker 1: but I did not like the tears on my shoulder.

1898
01:28:49,240 --> 01:28:50,880
Speaker 1: But I really wanted to know why she was crying.

1899
01:28:51,520 --> 01:28:53,000
Speaker 1: And I do not know why she was crying. I

1900
01:28:53,040 --> 01:28:55,240
Speaker 1: had to get on the plane. I still don't know

1901
01:28:55,320 --> 01:28:58,760
Speaker 1: exactly why. I think she was happy. Either she was

1902
01:28:58,800 --> 01:29:00,640
Speaker 1: happy that I cut off my hair off because all

1903
01:29:00,680 --> 01:29:02,840
Speaker 1: her airs cut off, or she was happy that I

1904
01:29:02,920 --> 01:29:05,240
Speaker 1: went to Israel because I did see it start David

1905
01:29:05,240 --> 01:29:06,800
Speaker 1: on her. So I'm gonna go with this because I

1906
01:29:06,840 --> 01:29:10,800
Speaker 1: went to Israel even though because we all had it. Yeah,

1907
01:29:10,800 --> 01:29:13,599
Speaker 1: I went in February for Black History when I went

1908
01:29:13,760 --> 01:29:14,679
Speaker 1: to find all the black.

1909
01:29:14,479 --> 01:29:16,400
Speaker 2: People and I did what was that experience? Like?

1910
01:29:16,640 --> 01:29:19,840
Speaker 1: That was amazing. It's just like California, bro. It felt

1911
01:29:19,880 --> 01:29:22,760
Speaker 1: like I was in America, but they speak Hebrew. It's

1912
01:29:22,880 --> 01:29:23,360
Speaker 1: very interesting.

1913
01:29:23,360 --> 01:29:24,800
Speaker 2: It's your first time, first time?

1914
01:29:26,000 --> 01:29:26,360
Speaker 1: First time?

1915
01:29:26,520 --> 01:29:28,840
Speaker 2: Is that quite a powerful experience? In terms?

1916
01:29:29,000 --> 01:29:31,880
Speaker 1: It was very powerful because you know, every religion is there,

1917
01:29:32,000 --> 01:29:37,320
Speaker 1: everybody's there, everybody's there. Yeah, I'm not. You went in

1918
01:29:37,360 --> 01:29:42,000
Speaker 1: twenty seventeen and when I went to Jerusalem, maybe because

1919
01:29:42,040 --> 01:29:44,519
Speaker 1: there's a war going on, there was barely anybody in

1920
01:29:44,680 --> 01:29:47,160
Speaker 1: Jerusalem like that, so I didn't have to wait in

1921
01:29:47,200 --> 01:29:50,400
Speaker 1: no long lines. I could do all the activities, got

1922
01:29:50,439 --> 01:29:53,360
Speaker 1: the shop freely. Nobody's like bumping into me, nobody's yelling

1923
01:29:53,400 --> 01:29:55,840
Speaker 1: at me. So it was kind of beautiful because I

1924
01:29:55,920 --> 01:29:57,960
Speaker 1: had been doing my researching and seeing like, oh, you

1925
01:29:58,040 --> 01:29:59,160
Speaker 1: might have to wait in line to go in here,

1926
01:29:59,200 --> 01:30:01,040
Speaker 1: you have the waiting line, go wait for this. I

1927
01:30:01,080 --> 01:30:02,479
Speaker 1: didn't have to wait to go in anything. I went

1928
01:30:02,520 --> 01:30:05,640
Speaker 1: into all the churches. I did not get to go

1929
01:30:05,720 --> 01:30:08,800
Speaker 1: into the mosque, probably because they knew who I was

1930
01:30:08,960 --> 01:30:11,439
Speaker 1: or whatever and that I'm Jewish. So but I looked.

1931
01:30:11,520 --> 01:30:13,640
Speaker 1: I was like I was over here like this, what

1932
01:30:13,760 --> 01:30:15,400
Speaker 1: made you want to go right now? Well, I was

1933
01:30:15,400 --> 01:30:18,280
Speaker 1: supposed to go, like four years ago. I was supposed

1934
01:30:18,280 --> 01:30:20,280
Speaker 1: to go. I already was planning on going. I already

1935
01:30:20,360 --> 01:30:23,880
Speaker 1: had a ticket like trying to go. You know, it's

1936
01:30:23,920 --> 01:30:26,080
Speaker 1: funny because every people saying they paid you to go there,

1937
01:30:26,120 --> 01:30:27,519
Speaker 1: and I'm like that check I would have took a

1938
01:30:27,520 --> 01:30:31,360
Speaker 1: picture of and posted, Okay, nobody paid me to be anywhere.

1939
01:30:31,760 --> 01:30:35,240
Speaker 1: This was me wanting to, like, I'm super thirsty for knowledge.

1940
01:30:35,640 --> 01:30:38,160
Speaker 1: I read about these places and the Bible and the

1941
01:30:38,280 --> 01:30:40,920
Speaker 1: Torah in the Koran, I read about like I went

1942
01:30:40,960 --> 01:30:43,240
Speaker 1: to the Church of Scientology. They talked about it was

1943
01:30:43,360 --> 01:30:45,640
Speaker 1: like everybody talks about this place, like I need to

1944
01:30:45,680 --> 01:30:47,920
Speaker 1: see this, and this is like where Jesus was, where

1945
01:30:47,960 --> 01:30:51,160
Speaker 1: this person was, Abraham, all the all the major players

1946
01:30:51,720 --> 01:30:54,360
Speaker 1: was in that area, So let me go see this.

1947
01:30:55,200 --> 01:30:57,479
Speaker 1: And I went, and it was I got to go

1948
01:30:57,560 --> 01:31:00,720
Speaker 1: in that tunnel, right, the underground tunnel, and that where

1949
01:31:00,720 --> 01:31:03,920
Speaker 1: the Micvah is, and like learn about that. That's where

1950
01:31:03,960 --> 01:31:06,240
Speaker 1: baptism came from, from the Micvah and all that stuff,

1951
01:31:06,280 --> 01:31:08,280
Speaker 1: and people getting cleaned up coming from all the other

1952
01:31:08,439 --> 01:31:10,760
Speaker 1: nations to come visit the the end of that's the

1953
01:31:11,240 --> 01:31:13,800
Speaker 1: that's the trail that Jesus walked every year, and then

1954
01:31:13,840 --> 01:31:17,440
Speaker 1: he walked at that one particular year and got assassinated

1955
01:31:17,520 --> 01:31:19,160
Speaker 1: at the top of it, right, and they built the

1956
01:31:19,240 --> 01:31:21,760
Speaker 1: church around where they have, you know, killed them and

1957
01:31:22,600 --> 01:31:27,400
Speaker 1: around where they say he was buried. And it's something there.

1958
01:31:27,800 --> 01:31:31,120
Speaker 1: I don't know if it's aliens underneath the rock or

1959
01:31:31,160 --> 01:31:33,439
Speaker 1: if the rock is from Mars and they got some

1960
01:31:33,560 --> 01:31:38,240
Speaker 1: kind of energy. It's some kind of energetic like reboost reset,

1961
01:31:39,080 --> 01:31:42,160
Speaker 1: like on the soul. I felt like I was surrounded

1962
01:31:42,640 --> 01:31:45,760
Speaker 1: like I felt like I was surrounded by like my ancestors.

1963
01:31:45,840 --> 01:31:48,000
Speaker 1: I could feel like here whispers. I was like looking

1964
01:31:48,040 --> 01:31:50,479
Speaker 1: around to see did they put some speakers in here

1965
01:31:50,600 --> 01:31:53,040
Speaker 1: or something like. I was hearing like like, hey, this

1966
01:31:53,160 --> 01:31:54,320
Speaker 1: is what you need to do now, this is what

1967
01:31:54,400 --> 01:31:57,280
Speaker 1: you need like like guidance, Like this is where you

1968
01:31:57,360 --> 01:31:59,680
Speaker 1: go for guidance. I prayed at the wall, put a

1969
01:31:59,720 --> 01:32:02,280
Speaker 1: little prayers in there, prayed in the church. I was like,

1970
01:32:02,720 --> 01:32:05,840
Speaker 1: pray everywhere. If God is here, if God is all

1971
01:32:05,880 --> 01:32:08,200
Speaker 1: throughout this, well, then geez, let me give something. Let

1972
01:32:08,240 --> 01:32:12,160
Speaker 1: me pray everywhere. You know. That's how I felt about it.

1973
01:32:12,240 --> 01:32:14,120
Speaker 1: I feel like I feel like we all praying to

1974
01:32:14,200 --> 01:32:16,080
Speaker 1: the same person. We're just doing it in different ways

1975
01:32:16,120 --> 01:32:18,600
Speaker 1: because we come from different cultures because of Babylon. But

1976
01:32:18,640 --> 01:32:22,320
Speaker 1: it's a Babylone where everybody got the different languages and stuff.

1977
01:32:22,920 --> 01:32:26,479
Speaker 1: We're in the Bible where, say, uh, where everybody was

1978
01:32:26,479 --> 01:32:29,640
Speaker 1: speaking one language at first, and then Babbel Babbel when

1979
01:32:29,680 --> 01:32:31,599
Speaker 1: it was building a tower of Babble and Babylon, right,

1980
01:32:31,640 --> 01:32:35,400
Speaker 1: and then everybody started battling because everybody's speaking different languages

1981
01:32:35,439 --> 01:32:39,559
Speaker 1: and they start separating into different tribes, different whatever because

1982
01:32:39,880 --> 01:32:42,880
Speaker 1: they didn't speak the same languages anymore. Right, is that

1983
01:32:43,000 --> 01:32:46,760
Speaker 1: int Come on, you a monk, You're supposed to know

1984
01:32:46,800 --> 01:32:50,360
Speaker 1: all these different things tradition. Okay, so what so what

1985
01:32:50,479 --> 01:32:52,559
Speaker 1: did the monks say? How did different languages come about?

1986
01:32:52,960 --> 01:32:54,840
Speaker 2: We never really talked about that. That wasn't part of

1987
01:32:54,920 --> 01:32:55,920
Speaker 2: the education, so.

1988
01:32:56,000 --> 01:32:58,639
Speaker 1: It didn't care about why people speak different languages.

1989
01:32:58,920 --> 01:33:02,240
Speaker 2: I care about that. But you don't know why.

1990
01:33:02,160 --> 01:33:05,919
Speaker 1: People speak different languages. Let's ask our researcher over there, researcher,

1991
01:33:06,000 --> 01:33:09,280
Speaker 1: can you tell me? Because I'm pretty sure. I'm pretty

1992
01:33:09,280 --> 01:33:15,360
Speaker 1: sure it's Babylon Battle? Where where where people started when

1993
01:33:15,600 --> 01:33:19,840
Speaker 1: God made people start speaking different languages because he was like, oh,

1994
01:33:19,880 --> 01:33:21,720
Speaker 1: they keep talking to mustters, so they're doing too much

1995
01:33:22,640 --> 01:33:25,320
Speaker 1: over God caused some confusion. That's like my number one

1996
01:33:25,439 --> 01:33:27,479
Speaker 1: thing I hate is confusion. But my room looks like

1997
01:33:27,520 --> 01:33:29,040
Speaker 1: it's confused. But I know where everything at. But I

1998
01:33:29,120 --> 01:33:37,880
Speaker 1: hate confusion. That the Tower of Battle, I didn't want

1999
01:33:37,880 --> 01:33:40,519
Speaker 1: to say anything. I didn't know, so so I say

2000
01:33:40,560 --> 01:33:42,640
Speaker 1: all that to say, I don't know if it's aliens

2001
01:33:42,760 --> 01:33:44,519
Speaker 1: under the rock. I don't know if the rock is

2002
01:33:44,600 --> 01:33:46,840
Speaker 1: from Mars. I don't know if that's actually God is

2003
01:33:46,920 --> 01:33:48,479
Speaker 1: in the rock. I don't know if God is hanging

2004
01:33:48,520 --> 01:33:51,160
Speaker 1: out in the mosque, in the Temple. I don't know.

2005
01:33:51,280 --> 01:33:53,680
Speaker 1: I don't know, But what I do know about Jerusalem

2006
01:33:53,920 --> 01:33:58,280
Speaker 1: is it is a very powerful place. There's definitely something

2007
01:33:58,400 --> 01:34:00,840
Speaker 1: spiritual going on. It taps into the spirit. I don't know,

2008
01:34:00,840 --> 01:34:03,800
Speaker 1: if it's like heightened energy where all your chakras open

2009
01:34:03,920 --> 01:34:06,360
Speaker 1: up and you could get like messages coming through or whatever.

2010
01:34:06,720 --> 01:34:10,080
Speaker 1: Something's going on there. And it's all the different races

2011
01:34:10,240 --> 01:34:14,160
Speaker 1: and religions are there in all throughout the country like

2012
01:34:14,360 --> 01:34:15,920
Speaker 1: and they're and they're dealing with a lot of the

2013
01:34:15,960 --> 01:34:19,160
Speaker 1: same crap that we're dealing with amongst themselves. I was

2014
01:34:19,200 --> 01:34:22,360
Speaker 1: talking to the Black Juice that there's a very large

2015
01:34:22,360 --> 01:34:26,559
Speaker 1: African American diaspora of black Hebrew juice up in Demona.

2016
01:34:26,640 --> 01:34:30,360
Speaker 1: And they say the Moona is where the nuclear weapons are,

2017
01:34:31,560 --> 01:34:33,759
Speaker 1: but I think the nuclear weapons is the Black African

2018
01:34:33,800 --> 01:34:36,559
Speaker 1: Americans rother down jaspora there. They could they go off

2019
01:34:36,600 --> 01:34:38,920
Speaker 1: the chain, but I could be wrong. I don't know,

2020
01:34:39,000 --> 01:34:40,439
Speaker 1: but I was hanging out with a lot of them,

2021
01:34:40,560 --> 01:34:42,320
Speaker 1: and I was learning a lot. And I went to

2022
01:34:43,160 --> 01:34:47,000
Speaker 1: Masada and that was like absolutely gorgeous. I went to

2023
01:34:47,120 --> 01:34:50,040
Speaker 1: the Dead Sea. Do not pee when you're in the

2024
01:34:50,160 --> 01:34:55,200
Speaker 1: dead Sea. They gonna heal. H they gonna hear, and

2025
01:34:55,280 --> 01:34:57,320
Speaker 1: they say and they say they're gonna burn. Well, just's

2026
01:34:57,320 --> 01:35:00,200
Speaker 1: gonna heal. It's gonna be disaffected, they said. They say

2027
01:35:00,240 --> 01:35:02,439
Speaker 1: that nothing grows in the dead Sea. But I beg

2028
01:35:02,600 --> 01:35:05,360
Speaker 1: to different because I seen them salt spikes growing on

2029
01:35:05,439 --> 01:35:08,160
Speaker 1: the poles over there. I think the salt girls.

2030
01:35:08,520 --> 01:35:09,000
Speaker 2: And then.

2031
01:35:10,400 --> 01:35:13,000
Speaker 1: And what else, Hana, I got so much say oh,

2032
01:35:13,000 --> 01:35:15,640
Speaker 1: And I went to this other place called Sakhna, and

2033
01:35:15,680 --> 01:35:18,720
Speaker 1: it's like natural springs and it's like the whole thing

2034
01:35:18,880 --> 01:35:21,479
Speaker 1: of three hundred or whatever, the spartans of three hundred.

2035
01:35:21,479 --> 01:35:23,519
Speaker 1: It was like, now it's too far away from where

2036
01:35:23,640 --> 01:35:25,800
Speaker 1: Soakna is, and there's this natural experience and I was

2037
01:35:25,840 --> 01:35:27,840
Speaker 1: all in there. It felt like I was getting younger

2038
01:35:27,920 --> 01:35:29,680
Speaker 1: or something. There was fish coming up eating the dead

2039
01:35:29,720 --> 01:35:32,360
Speaker 1: skin off my feet. So I was experiencing a lot

2040
01:35:32,479 --> 01:35:36,080
Speaker 1: of the nature and the actual people. And I was

2041
01:35:36,240 --> 01:35:38,280
Speaker 1: like talking with the Beda Wins and talking with like

2042
01:35:38,400 --> 01:35:41,400
Speaker 1: I talked with everybody. And there was Palestinians there too,

2043
01:35:41,439 --> 01:35:43,280
Speaker 1: and I'm talking with them, and I got to go

2044
01:35:43,439 --> 01:35:45,800
Speaker 1: to keep it and I got to see I could

2045
01:35:45,840 --> 01:35:52,040
Speaker 1: see Gayza from there, and it was horrible, is absolutely horrible.

2046
01:35:52,160 --> 01:35:55,479
Speaker 1: I don't know why humans do this to each other.

2047
01:35:55,560 --> 01:35:58,439
Speaker 1: Maybe because they don't get enough hugs. I don't know why,

2048
01:35:59,000 --> 01:36:05,280
Speaker 1: like understand how like anybody would want to eradicate any

2049
01:36:05,320 --> 01:36:09,439
Speaker 1: group of people, any kind of like that part. I

2050
01:36:09,640 --> 01:36:11,560
Speaker 1: just I don't know. I don't have that in me.

2051
01:36:11,720 --> 01:36:13,680
Speaker 1: I can't understand it. I don't even want to make

2052
01:36:13,760 --> 01:36:16,160
Speaker 1: myself understand it. I just would like that to stop.

2053
01:36:17,439 --> 01:36:21,920
Speaker 1: I want peace. Everybody should have peace. Everybody deserves joy.

2054
01:36:22,520 --> 01:36:24,439
Speaker 1: So I curse the world with joy.

2055
01:36:26,439 --> 01:36:29,639
Speaker 2: The book is called A Curse You would Joy, Tiffany Haddish.

2056
01:36:29,840 --> 01:36:35,360
Speaker 2: It's available right now. This conversation, I'm sure it's inspired

2057
01:36:35,360 --> 01:36:36,760
Speaker 2: you to go and grab a copy of the book.

2058
01:36:36,840 --> 01:36:39,200
Speaker 2: Dive deep into it. You are gonna laugh, you're gonna learn,

2059
01:36:39,240 --> 01:36:42,400
Speaker 2: you're gonna cry, you're gonna feel it all. Tiffany, thank

2060
01:36:42,439 --> 01:36:46,680
Speaker 2: you for being extraordinary. Genuinely, you're extraordinary. Thank you. I

2061
01:36:46,760 --> 01:36:47,720
Speaker 2: can't think of another word.

2062
01:36:48,080 --> 01:36:50,320
Speaker 1: Thank I thought you said I was extraordinary, and I

2063
01:36:50,400 --> 01:36:52,880
Speaker 1: got really excited, because that's all you know. I want

2064
01:36:52,920 --> 01:36:55,000
Speaker 1: to be ordinary, but I know that I'm not. I'm extraordinary.

2065
01:36:55,120 --> 01:37:01,920
Speaker 2: Your your presence is infectious, your energy is magnetic. I

2066
01:37:02,040 --> 01:37:05,360
Speaker 2: mean it's honestly, just being around you is is joy

2067
01:37:05,800 --> 01:37:07,760
Speaker 2: good and I want to thank you for sharing that

2068
01:37:07,840 --> 01:37:09,800
Speaker 2: with us and my own purpose community to do.

2069
01:37:09,920 --> 01:37:11,600
Speaker 1: I got some of that rock in my pocket.

2070
01:37:11,439 --> 01:37:11,680
Speaker 2: Love it.

2071
01:37:14,680 --> 01:37:17,240
Speaker 1: But I did still some dirt from the the from

2072
01:37:17,280 --> 01:37:20,679
Speaker 1: that tunnel and two rocks from I want to become

2073
01:37:20,720 --> 01:37:23,680
Speaker 1: an archaeologist. That's gonna be my next thing. There you go,

2074
01:37:23,720 --> 01:37:25,479
Speaker 1: I'm gonna go over there and do archaeology for like

2075
01:37:25,560 --> 01:37:27,880
Speaker 1: three days. I love it, and go dig out some

2076
01:37:27,960 --> 01:37:30,719
Speaker 1: more stuff, maybe open a dress shop in that tunnel.

2077
01:37:30,760 --> 01:37:31,559
Speaker 1: It felt like a mall.

2078
01:37:32,160 --> 01:37:37,400
Speaker 2: Yeah, like a mall. Well, they're most probably copied that someone.

2079
01:37:37,520 --> 01:37:39,880
Speaker 2: Someone got the idea from there. Probably that's that's how

2080
01:37:39,920 --> 01:37:43,280
Speaker 2: they got it. You're right, that's how they got you.

2081
01:37:43,479 --> 01:37:46,519
Speaker 1: Right, See, Jake, when I hang out with you, I

2082
01:37:46,680 --> 01:37:47,200
Speaker 1: learned stuff.

2083
01:37:47,400 --> 01:37:49,400
Speaker 2: No, I just know nothing at all.

2084
01:37:49,560 --> 01:37:51,720
Speaker 1: I think our intentions were met here today.

2085
01:37:51,800 --> 01:37:54,439
Speaker 2: Without a doubt. And I want to tell everyone who's

2086
01:37:54,439 --> 01:37:57,519
Speaker 2: listening and watching, make sure you share what you learned

2087
01:37:57,600 --> 01:38:01,960
Speaker 2: from Tiffany. Tag both of us on on Instagram, on TikTok.

2088
01:38:02,080 --> 01:38:04,479
Speaker 2: Let us know what stayed with you or resonated with you,

2089
01:38:04,600 --> 01:38:07,040
Speaker 2: go connected with you in the YouTube comments let us

2090
01:38:07,080 --> 01:38:09,720
Speaker 2: know because I love to see what Tiffany shared that's

2091
01:38:09,760 --> 01:38:13,200
Speaker 2: helping you become happier, healthier, and healed. Thanks so much,

2092
01:38:13,600 --> 01:38:17,759
Speaker 2: thank you, thank you, You're amazing. If you love this episode,

2093
01:38:17,840 --> 01:38:22,200
Speaker 2: you'll enjoy my conversation with Megan Trainer on breaking generational

2094
01:38:22,320 --> 01:38:25,760
Speaker 2: trauma and how to be confident from the inside out.

2095
01:38:25,920 --> 01:38:28,560
Speaker 1: My therapist told me stand in the mirror naked for

2096
01:38:28,760 --> 01:38:30,599
Speaker 1: five minutes. It was already tough for me to love

2097
01:38:30,640 --> 01:38:33,320
Speaker 1: my body, but after the C section scar with all

2098
01:38:33,439 --> 01:38:35,680
Speaker 1: the stretch marks, now I'm looking at myself like I've

2099
01:38:35,720 --> 01:38:36,280
Speaker 1: been hacked.

2100
01:38:36,439 --> 01:38:38,519
Speaker 2: But day three, when I did it, I was like

2101
01:38:38,680 --> 01:38:40,000
Speaker 1: You know what, her thighs are cute