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Speaker 1: Hey, this is Sanny and Samantha. I don't know to Stephane,

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Speaker 1: never told you protection of iHeartRadio. It is Thursday, which

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Speaker 1: means it's time for another happy Hour. As always, if

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Speaker 1: you choose to drink, please do so responsibly. As this

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Speaker 1: comes out, it is Thanksgiving, so having Thanksgiving to everyone

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Speaker 1: who celebrates This wasn't really planned. This is just how

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Speaker 1: our schedule worked out. So happy Native American Heritage Day,

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Speaker 1: for Native Indigenous Heritage Day, all those things. Far as

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Speaker 1: People's Day, we celebrate you more than we celebrate Thanksgiving,

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Speaker 1: we promise, yes. But yeah, so this was just I've

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Speaker 1: actually this has been the topic I've been wanting to

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Speaker 1: talk about. It's been delayed for a long time. But

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Speaker 1: if you see the title, you're like, why are they

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Speaker 1: publishing this on Thanksgiving? It just worked out that way,

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Speaker 1: I promise. So I am sipping on my classic Gin

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Speaker 1: and Tonic with some basil or basil however you pronounce it,

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Speaker 1: because that's all I have. That's literally all I have,

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Speaker 1: even though today is Life Day, November Star Wars Holiday

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Speaker 1: and I should be having a Life Day specific drink.

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Speaker 1: But I just really fell through. I did not. Are

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Speaker 1: you not doing a celebration. I am doing a celebration

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Speaker 1: Marissa bringing the ingredients for all the things for life us.

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Speaker 1: Tonight tonight I will have a celebration, but for now

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Speaker 1: I only Yeah, yeah, I'm kind of surprised by those.

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Speaker 1: And by the way, y'all, she does have a Life

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Speaker 1: Day shirt on. I do not just for me, but

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Speaker 1: for Life Day, so well for you to. I did

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Speaker 1: get a nice text this morning with a wookie. Yes,

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Speaker 1: I think I sent like so many texts about life days.

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Speaker 1: So now if I look at my history, it's just

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Speaker 1: like Life Day gifts history. It's very very funny from

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Speaker 1: one of the out there. Oh poor Lumpy. At least

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Speaker 1: I didn't send you itchy could have done that rather not.

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Speaker 1: Uh yes, well, I am sipping on. I decided because

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Speaker 1: it is very cold in Georgia, and I'm sorry to

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Speaker 1: those who are in snowstorms. Probably like you don't know cold,

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Speaker 1: and that's true, and I don't like cold, so there's that.

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Speaker 1: But it is it hit thirty degrees last night to night.

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Speaker 1: I supposed to hit down to twenty eight. Don't love it?

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Speaker 1: Not a fan um. And then also that causes for

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Speaker 1: sniffles and all of that, which makes me also go,

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Speaker 1: oh my god, everybody's got COVID. But it's just the cold.

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Speaker 1: So I'm trying not to fall into that because also

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Speaker 1: if this is on Thanksgiving, I had a habit of

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Speaker 1: being sick constantly during the Thanksgiving day break, which was

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Speaker 1: weird to me. I would have fevers all the time,

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Speaker 1: and like the only times I would get sick it

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Speaker 1: was around Thanksgiving, which is funny because I actually I

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Speaker 1: really liked it Thanksgiving because I love food and that's

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Speaker 1: what it entailed. But yeah, so I'm drinking a hot toddy.

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Speaker 1: But I did a twist because I got the ginger

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Speaker 1: honey citrone tea. You know I'm talking about. That's pretty

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Speaker 1: much that Jammie make of lemons and oranges and the

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Speaker 1: peels and the ginger. So I got that and put

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Speaker 1: it with the echonation tea and added some whiskey for

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Speaker 1: the adult version. So I am sipping on my tea

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Speaker 1: because I'm trying not to get sick as my Thanksgiving

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Speaker 1: Day tradition. Yes, and that's a great segue into what

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Speaker 1: we're talking about today, because, as Samantha does, a couple

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Speaker 1: like a month or so ago, two months I had COVID.

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Speaker 1: I had COVID. She needed to tell us after I did,

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Speaker 1: but I did not go out. And it was actually

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Speaker 1: hilarious how how I was reading the CDC guideline and

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Speaker 1: I was like, oh, this is what I've been doing.

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Speaker 1: All right, I'm good. Like I didn't really have to

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Speaker 1: change much. The only thing I did was I got

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Speaker 1: groceries delivered. But other than that, I was kind of like, yeah, easy,

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Speaker 1: I can't stay in. Yeah. I didn't tell anybody. And

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Speaker 1: that's part of what I want to talk about, because

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Speaker 1: I think you know, a lot of us are you know,

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Speaker 1: going home? Uh, And there are still those concerns around

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Speaker 1: COVID or just even like the flu or illness um

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Speaker 1: in general. And I haven't been sick. I'm very very fortunate.

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Speaker 1: I haven't been sick and so long, like I think

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Speaker 1: I've had a science infection are two, but like over

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Speaker 1: ten years, I have not been sick, which is amazing

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Speaker 1: because we knew. We were just like absolutely, because Annie

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Speaker 1: doesn't get the regulars like this. She gets whatever is

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Speaker 1: the most uncommon and unlikely. We were like, and of

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Speaker 1: course you wouldn't get COVID, that's too common when it's

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Speaker 1: after yes, yes, I finally toppled out. I'll admit I

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Speaker 1: had the moment of like, oh, darn it, get me finally.

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Speaker 1: It did take me six tested to get the positive

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Speaker 1: even though I was pretty sure I had it, and

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Speaker 1: the sometimes are really mild because I've gotten all vaccines,

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Speaker 1: I've gotten boosted. It was very, very mild. But the

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Speaker 1: reason I wanted to talk about this, what we're talking

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Speaker 1: about today is illness and my reaction to it, uh

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Speaker 1: and what I've seen anecdotally, and Smith and I have

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Speaker 1: kind of different reactions, but there are some things that

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Speaker 1: I'm like, I'm kind of fascinated that this was my response. Um,

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Speaker 1: So I used to be very sick as a child.

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Speaker 1: I was very ill a lot um A lot of

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Speaker 1: that had to do with asthma. But yeah, it's been

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Speaker 1: a it's been a minute for me. And so literally

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Speaker 1: I got with my positive results and the first thing

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Speaker 1: I thought was this means I can have soup and

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Speaker 1: lay in bed, And that's just the saddest. That's so sad.

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Speaker 1: You're not the only one who thinks this way, Like

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Speaker 1: you have to run yourself down into the ground dragged

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Speaker 1: before you can truly rest, and then you have a

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Speaker 1: plausible reason and excuse to do so, as yes, I

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Speaker 1: am the opposite, and I'm like, oh, I kind of

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Speaker 1: feel sick not doing for three days, and I love

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Speaker 1: off of I like, at least you know, my half

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Speaker 1: of my pantry is just straight noodles, ramen, m H

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Speaker 1: and soups because I love soups so much. The minute

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Speaker 1: it turned like fifty degrees, I immediately went and made

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Speaker 1: vegetable soup. We made a Hungarian soup and it made

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Speaker 1: it twice because I loved it. I constantly go to

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Speaker 1: our h Mart because there's a restaurant ruined by two

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Speaker 1: Korean women that makes the best Kim gay and I'm like,

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Speaker 1: that will be my six soup. I guess if I

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Speaker 1: were to get sick at any point in time, and

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Speaker 1: and like you, I've actually been pretty lucky, especially in

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Speaker 1: the past few years, especially during COVID. And I say

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Speaker 1: this in that masks are amazing and I really feel

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Speaker 1: like it combated a lot of the germs that we

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Speaker 1: pick up, which is why I refused to stop. Like,

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Speaker 1: of course, if it makes it awkward and uncomfortable, I

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Speaker 1: go with status quo, which boo on me for doing that,

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Speaker 1: But I just don't want to stir up things as

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Speaker 1: an Asian woman in general. But like, I really feel

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Speaker 1: like that's really helped our immunity. But I have started

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Speaker 1: getting a little more sniffly as of late. I did

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Speaker 1: have an ear rate one day. I was like, no,

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Speaker 1: but yeah, like it. It is an amazing thing to me.

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Speaker 1: I'm like, I will find out. Yeah, damn, yeah, I'm wonderful.

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Speaker 1: I don't want to be sick. But if I even

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Speaker 1: have a sniff late done, I'm out. I'm out. I'm out. Coach,

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Speaker 1: I'm out. And you really have to take a test

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Speaker 1: six times and actually go through the symptoms, and a

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Speaker 1: week later, oh, now I'm sick, even though you've been

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Speaker 1: sick the entire time. And then you're like, but I'll

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Speaker 1: eat sup. But I won't tell anybody, and they're all

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Speaker 1: gonna be mad at me afterwards because I don't want

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Speaker 1: them to feel like they need to help me, even

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Speaker 1: though we would like love to do so, which is

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Speaker 1: an interesting response. Yeah, and that's sort of what I

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Speaker 1: wanted to pick apart because I've seen that with my

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Speaker 1: mom um. But you know, we've done episodes and you

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Speaker 1: can listen to them for like a more scientific uh

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Speaker 1: answer around like women in illness and like it's the

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Speaker 1: man fluid thing and all that stuff. But like I recorded,

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Speaker 1: I didn't take any days off or anything like. There

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Speaker 1: are episodes of Spinty that you can listen to where

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Speaker 1: I had COVID when we did it, and I knew

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Speaker 1: I had COVID. We're still recording separately from our home studios,

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Speaker 1: by the way, But it was it was tell me

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Speaker 1: you had COVID. I think we actually have that because

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Speaker 1: you told me I'm pretty sure I have COVID, and

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Speaker 1: then a couple days later, and then you didn't tell

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Speaker 1: me until way after. Yes, And that's that's another thing

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Speaker 1: like it. It was like I didn't want to draw

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Speaker 1: attention to myself. I didn't want to cause anybody any issues.

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Speaker 1: I didn't want to rock the boat. Um. I thought

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Speaker 1: i'd have much more of a reaction of like almost pride,

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Speaker 1: you know, like oh no, now I'm not one of

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Speaker 1: the ones who never got it. But it was much

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Speaker 1: more I'm like, I just don't want to bother anybody

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Speaker 1: about it, right. I love that you waited my favorite

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Speaker 1: part of this and announced it to you a friend

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Speaker 1: group way after, because you didn't want it to be

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Speaker 1: like gonna be mad at me for not telling them.

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Speaker 1: So I don't know how to do this. I'll just

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Speaker 1: wait and then just make it announced and built up.

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Speaker 1: And finally I was like, I need to hold a

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Speaker 1: conference call. And it's like everybody's attention for you. And

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Speaker 1: that's you know, like you said, people love to if

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Speaker 1: you care about someone, you love to care about them,

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Speaker 1: like send them stuff or make sure they're they're okay.

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Speaker 1: And my good friend Marissa, who is a nurse, she

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Speaker 1: she has kind of a reputation of in my friend group.

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Speaker 1: She finds out you have COVID. The next day you're

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Speaker 1: getting a shipment of like medications and soups at all,

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Speaker 1: Like it's so lovely and it's so nice, and I

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Speaker 1: don't like that. My first thing was like it was

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Speaker 1: like a kind of shrinking end of like, oh God,

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Speaker 1: I don't want anybody to feel like they have to

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Speaker 1: do anything for me or change your schedule for me

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Speaker 1: or whatever. Um. And again it wasn't. I didn't have

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Speaker 1: that many symptoms I had. I had like one night,

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Speaker 1: not even a day that was a little rough, but

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Speaker 1: otherwise it was fine. But I don't I don't know

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Speaker 1: It's just been so long since I've been sick that

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Speaker 1: I was kind of like, wow, this is this isn't great.

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Speaker 1: You're kind of like, I don't want anybody to take

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Speaker 1: care of me. I don't want anybody to know. I'm

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Speaker 1: just gonna continue forward. Maybe all that myself lay in

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Speaker 1: bed for a little bit longer than I really do.

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Speaker 1: So for me, it's I don't necessarily want you to

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Speaker 1: take care of me. As a fact, typically when I'm sick,

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Speaker 1: there's only one person that who could like come and

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Speaker 1: take care of me because I didn't like it, and

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Speaker 1: it used to be my mother. I'm like, that's the

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Speaker 1: only person I'll let near me. I guess now probably

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Speaker 1: be my partner since you know we live together and

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Speaker 1: all that. But I do want you to know. I

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Speaker 1: need to prove to you that I'm sick because I'm

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Speaker 1: afraid that everybody thinks I'm lying. So I have to

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Speaker 1: prove to you, look how awful I am, Look how

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Speaker 1: sick I am, Look how awful I sound. So I

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Speaker 1: need you to know that I'm not lying and making

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Speaker 1: this up. So I'm the opposite of like I'm niking

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Speaker 1: everybody aware I'm truly sick. I'm truly, truly sick. I'm

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Speaker 1: not faking it because I don't know. It's just this

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Speaker 1: whole level like they don't believe you. You have to

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Speaker 1: have all these symptoms, and if you don't show these symptoms,

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Speaker 1: blah blah blah, I will say I have yet test

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Speaker 1: positive for COVID. Doesn't mean I didn't have at any point.

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Speaker 1: I don't know. I don't think I've had any symptoms

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Speaker 1: for it. Again, we talked about how when we first

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Speaker 1: came back from l A, my partner and I both

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Speaker 1: got sick on intervals, but we never lost our since

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Speaker 1: the smell. We never had these certain things, but we

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Speaker 1: were out for a good week um with fevers that

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Speaker 1: would go like all these things, So we don't know.

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Speaker 1: We may have had it in that was before testing

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Speaker 1: was available all of those things. UM, and I haven't

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Speaker 1: done an antibody test, so I don't know. But for

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Speaker 1: the most part, outside of that, I've never had any

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Speaker 1: symptoms to show that I had any of the following things.

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Speaker 1: I did have one week of like this is definitely

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Speaker 1: my silences. My air was kind of hurting and like

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Speaker 1: all these things that I'm like, this goes to this.

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Speaker 1: You know, type of feeling and my face hurt, that

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Speaker 1: was the obvious sign. But because of those things, if

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Speaker 1: I'm not truly over the top six, then I don't tell.

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Speaker 1: I don't think I'm sick. I just feel bad. Of

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Speaker 1: course I'm gonna take that excuse to lay around. I'm like, oh,

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Speaker 1: I don't feel good. I just need a rest. Because

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Speaker 1: I also have very like a big believer in doing

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Speaker 1: things preventatively. So if you start getting signs, I know,

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Speaker 1: like for coals, not for everything else, but like typically

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Speaker 1: you can do some measures to try to prevent it

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Speaker 1: for being really bad. Um So that's where I'm trying

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Speaker 1: to get to. But if I'm sick, I have to

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Speaker 1: prove to you. But I am sick, and I'm going

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Speaker 1: to announce it and show you, whether it's the way

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Speaker 1: I'm speaking or I'm coughing or I'm sniff sniff, really

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Speaker 1: a promise I'm sick. But that's like it was a

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Speaker 1: weird reaction. That's why you just hide away during I'm

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Speaker 1: going to show it in the midst of it. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: but I think that's kind of it's kind of related

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Speaker 1: because I feel I've also struggle with um oh, people

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Speaker 1: won't believe me. I am the person who will put

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Speaker 1: off going to the doctor forever until I'm like, what

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Speaker 1: a dent you cannot say I'm not sick. And we've

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Speaker 1: talked about that with women who like statistics show they're

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Speaker 1: more likely to go to the doctor, but they're also

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Speaker 1: more likely to be dismissed, um for very serious things. Um.

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Speaker 1: So I think that that makes sense. And then I

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Speaker 1: also think, like, kind of oddly what we talked about

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Speaker 1: in self care, where there's this feminization that happens around

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Speaker 1: taking care of yourself and not necessarily it's looked down upon.

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Speaker 1: I guess I'm trying to say, and it shouldn't be,

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Speaker 1: but it is. And so that for me there's also

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Speaker 1: that level of but look how tough I am. I

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Speaker 1: could keep working. I can keep doing this stuff. And

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Speaker 1: in fact, um, my friend Marissa we went to this

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Speaker 1: if you're following me on Instagram, you've seen the pictures.

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Speaker 1: We went to the Stranger Things event um and I

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Speaker 1: had uh, pretty debilitating migraine during it and I thought

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Speaker 1: I was gonna vomit and all this stuff. And it

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Speaker 1: was a week later I told her, I was like,

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Speaker 1: you know, that whole night I was miserable, like it

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Speaker 1: was fun, but I was like seeing spots in my head,

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Speaker 1: was hurt and I was gonna throw up. And she

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Speaker 1: got got of frustrate with me, and she was like,

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Speaker 1: why didn't you feel like you could tell us that.

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Speaker 1: Why did you keep that to yourself and keep pushing through?

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Speaker 1: And I was like, well, I wanted to have fun.

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Speaker 1: I want everybody have fun, um, But it's that that

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Speaker 1: thing we've talked about of like so often women have

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Speaker 1: been socialized to make things easier for other people, and

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Speaker 1: they never asked that of me. They never wanted that,

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Speaker 1: but I did it. I took it on and it

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Speaker 1: was week Like a week later that was like, hey, yeah,

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Speaker 1: I was barely keeping it together right as you told me.

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Speaker 1: The next day you're like, oh my god, it was rough. Uh.

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Speaker 1: But that's kind of your thing as well, where you

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Speaker 1: can't disappoint people, so you go out and can't say no.

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Speaker 1: So you've learned to say no, you've not learned to cancel.

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Speaker 1: And I'm the Queen of canceling. I am the queen.

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Speaker 1: Like literally, Halloween didn't do two parties to go to.

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Speaker 1: All I did was like hey, and it was I

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Speaker 1: had a really rough week, a lot of like debilitating

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Speaker 1: mental health tie where I felt like it wasn't worth

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Speaker 1: being present, like not necessarily, which by the way, we

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Speaker 1: do need to have this conversation about passive suicidal ideation.

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Speaker 1: I didn't think much of it, but I was like, huh,

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Speaker 1: this is interesting, but that that wasn't where I was

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Speaker 1: at yet. But I was good, like spiraling essentially mental

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Speaker 1: health like guy, I was just anxious and felt really

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Speaker 1: down on myself and felt like I was beating myself up.

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Speaker 1: So it's really rough, weak because when I have weeks

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Speaker 1: like at where literally those times where you can't stop

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Speaker 1: thinking of an incident for the entire week and it

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Speaker 1: keeps you awake and you just feel haunted by it.

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Speaker 1: One of those and then several things just piled on

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Speaker 1: like that, so it was like awful, And then trying

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Speaker 1: to go to public to enjoy company with people who

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Speaker 1: want to have fun just felt impossible to me, and

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Speaker 1: so I canceled on everything and it was a delightful day.

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Speaker 1: Like my partner, thank god, he is as as kind

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Speaker 1: as he is, He's like, what do you want to

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Speaker 1: do instead of like let's go to Hmart. Let me

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Speaker 1: get my comfort Stu and then we came back home

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Speaker 1: and ate it while we watched a horror movie US

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Speaker 1: until I think you mutched Barbaria that day I can't remember,

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Speaker 1: but like it was that type of day and night

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Speaker 1: for me of like, Okay, this is where I am.

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Speaker 1: So I love canceling because also have friends on the

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Speaker 1: same level of like, if you don't feel like it,

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Speaker 1: just let's just not do it. Let's just get all,

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Speaker 1: you know, be honest with yourself. Because while and often

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Speaker 1: times there's day so I'm like, I'm glad I went

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Speaker 1: to something even though I did't feel like it because

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Speaker 1: it felt nice. But I've also been like I'm glad

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Speaker 1: I didn't go to this thing because it also felt nice.

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Speaker 1: So like as where I'm in that place in my

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Speaker 1: life you have always like you're taken a huge step

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Speaker 1: and being able to say no, thank you, I'm not

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Speaker 1: coming out, but to actually cancel plans that would be

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Speaker 1: Have you ever done that outside of emergencies outside of

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Speaker 1: your control? I don't. I don't think there's always a reason.

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Speaker 1: There's always like something that happened, something that happens as

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Speaker 1: the outside of your control, whether it's a car incident,

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Speaker 1: whether there's a family incident. Yeah. So outside of that note,

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Speaker 1: I don't think so like I'm almost giving examples of

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Speaker 1: where I actually did cancel because of migraine, because god,

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Speaker 1: I can't even believe I was standing. So'side of by control.

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Speaker 1: But you know, this instance, I didn't, That instance I did,

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Speaker 1: but yeah not Yeah, that's what I'm like. That's the like,

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Speaker 1: the difference of like. And I'm absolutely positive your friends

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Speaker 1: would have been completely fine because I know that they're

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00:18:03,480 --> 00:18:06,360
Speaker 1: very sweet. They are kind people who love you dearly,

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Speaker 1: would go to the moon and back for you. So

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Speaker 1: they would have been like, Okay, it's that I also know,

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Speaker 1: and I don't know if this is the case or not.

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Speaker 1: Oftentimes you are the henchmen to a group and oftentimes

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Speaker 1: you're the life of the party. Is so people would

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Speaker 1: rather do it with you than without. Yeah, and that

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Speaker 1: was I hate that I did this. But after that

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Speaker 1: Stranger Things thing, which was fine, it was so fun,

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Speaker 1: I apologized everybody that went with me. I apologized and

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Speaker 1: I was like, I'm sorry I wasn't like my full

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Speaker 1: self to night. They were performed moments, girl, Because I

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Speaker 1: am usually that person that if there's you know, different

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Speaker 1: people who don't know each other as well or whatever.

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Speaker 1: I'm like, yeah, And that night I was like, oh God,

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Speaker 1: just don't throw up. But I was really interested to

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Speaker 1: hear because this this kind of is orbiting around a

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Speaker 1: lot of stuff we've talked about around like productivity and

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Speaker 1: morality and deprivation that I specifically deal with, and I

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Speaker 1: think a lot of people deal with around like just

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Speaker 1: taking care of yourself and food in particular. But also like,

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Speaker 1: I'm curious because I saw kind of a joke headline

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00:19:30,520 --> 00:19:36,359
Speaker 1: that was about women who were so happy. It was

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00:19:36,400 --> 00:19:38,359
Speaker 1: a joke, but it was happy to be sick because

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Speaker 1: it meant they could take a break from all the

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Speaker 1: work and the child care and all of this stuff.

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Speaker 1: I'm curious if, like women during the pandemic who have kids.

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Speaker 1: I don't know, my gut is telling me that there's

365
00:19:51,760 --> 00:19:53,439
Speaker 1: less of that happening and more of you have to

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Speaker 1: power through. But I would love to hear from listeners. Honestly,

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Speaker 1: just saw a tech talk in which a woman and

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Speaker 1: is recording her husband and they've been married for a

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Speaker 1: long time. And I don't know if she meant to

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00:20:04,480 --> 00:20:06,639
Speaker 1: do this or she did. I don't know if she

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00:20:06,640 --> 00:20:08,480
Speaker 1: thought it was gonna be a joke, and then everybody

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00:20:08,520 --> 00:20:11,440
Speaker 1: got ahold of it and like your husband's trash, um,

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Speaker 1: because he was making heal openion poppers for a game day,

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Speaker 1: and he was complaining the entire time, saying, you know,

375
00:20:19,240 --> 00:20:22,920
Speaker 1: you could have done this, but you know, I guess

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Speaker 1: I will have to do it for myself because you

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Speaker 1: decided not to do this for me. Um, and went

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Speaker 1: on to say, you know, I went to golfing today

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Speaker 1: and I was hoping that you would have this done

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Speaker 1: by the time I got here so I can enjoy

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Speaker 1: the game that you want to watch and I want

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Speaker 1: to watch, But no, you said, on your butt. And

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Speaker 1: then he continued on to say, and I know you

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Speaker 1: just got done with your treatment quote unquote, so mean

385
00:20:43,840 --> 00:20:45,679
Speaker 1: he had. She had cancer treatment that day, but she

386
00:20:45,760 --> 00:20:48,200
Speaker 1: was just sitting on her but um, but you decided

387
00:20:48,200 --> 00:20:51,359
Speaker 1: not to do that for me. It was truly upset,

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00:20:51,400 --> 00:20:56,160
Speaker 1: and it was so patronizing the entire conversation talking about

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Speaker 1: how you know, and she's like, yeah, and now you

390
00:20:57,960 --> 00:20:59,560
Speaker 1: can do it for yourself. I'm so proud of you.

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Speaker 1: And she was right. She was like, so now you're

392
00:21:01,160 --> 00:21:02,760
Speaker 1: so She's trying to get them to explain why he

393
00:21:02,800 --> 00:21:04,840
Speaker 1: was upset with her while he was doing this, and

394
00:21:04,880 --> 00:21:06,800
Speaker 1: she's like, looking at you, you're doing it. You're doing

395
00:21:06,800 --> 00:21:08,560
Speaker 1: a great job, and I'm sure it's gonna be delicious.

396
00:21:08,600 --> 00:21:10,840
Speaker 1: And he was like, well, you know, if you hadn't

397
00:21:10,840 --> 00:21:12,240
Speaker 1: been sitting on your butt all day, you could have

398
00:21:12,240 --> 00:21:13,680
Speaker 1: already had this done for me. And I know you

399
00:21:13,720 --> 00:21:17,159
Speaker 1: want to go sit and enjoy the game. I do too,

400
00:21:17,920 --> 00:21:22,080
Speaker 1: that level of like, she literally is going through cancer

401
00:21:22,280 --> 00:21:24,720
Speaker 1: and you weren't present with her because you went golfing,

402
00:21:25,000 --> 00:21:30,760
Speaker 1: and now you're mad because she went through I'm assuming chemo. What.

403
00:21:32,240 --> 00:21:34,760
Speaker 1: But that's kind of the narrative, and most people were

404
00:21:34,760 --> 00:21:37,040
Speaker 1: on her side because I think it's finally coming out

405
00:21:37,080 --> 00:21:39,480
Speaker 1: to be like, yeah, husbands are trash and this whole

406
00:21:39,560 --> 00:21:44,560
Speaker 1: nuclear family idea husbands are trash um not all I know,

407
00:21:44,800 --> 00:21:47,359
Speaker 1: I know, but when you see videos like this with

408
00:21:47,440 --> 00:21:51,199
Speaker 1: the expectation that her who is going through something traumatic

409
00:21:51,240 --> 00:21:55,679
Speaker 1: as chemo or cancer treatments or whatever, that entails to

410
00:21:55,800 --> 00:21:59,560
Speaker 1: him going golfing as if that's hard work. Yeah, And

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Speaker 1: I think a bigger conversation we could have about able

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00:22:02,160 --> 00:22:06,760
Speaker 1: ism and like having to not make other people uncomfortable

413
00:22:06,960 --> 00:22:10,399
Speaker 1: if you are sick, um right, and the fact that

414
00:22:10,400 --> 00:22:14,760
Speaker 1: you have a sense of humor. Yeah, it's kind of

415
00:22:14,760 --> 00:22:19,240
Speaker 1: that other saying of like this is why we are

416
00:22:19,280 --> 00:22:23,320
Speaker 1: taught in society that showing witness as a woman physically

417
00:22:23,680 --> 00:22:32,280
Speaker 1: could be a detriment to whatever value you have in society. Yeah. Yeah,

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00:22:32,320 --> 00:22:36,200
Speaker 1: oh my gosh. Um. Yeah. So I would love to

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00:22:36,200 --> 00:22:39,400
Speaker 1: hear from listeners. I really because I've read, I've read

420
00:22:39,440 --> 00:22:43,239
Speaker 1: kind of competing things. But in my experience, a lot

421
00:22:43,280 --> 00:22:46,360
Speaker 1: of the women in my life just have to keep

422
00:22:46,359 --> 00:22:49,199
Speaker 1: doing stuff. Like maybe they'll i don't know, not go

423
00:22:49,320 --> 00:22:51,840
Speaker 1: out so they don't spread spread things, but they still

424
00:22:51,880 --> 00:22:56,280
Speaker 1: have to like make the lunches or whatever it is. Um,

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Speaker 1: that expectation. Uh, and that's certain me Again, a lot

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Speaker 1: of this was just me, my own stuff. But that's

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Speaker 1: how I felt, was like, well, I don't want to

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Speaker 1: inconvenience um anyone else. Yeah. Well, cheers, cheers, cheers, thank you,

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Speaker 1: thank you, thank you for being here with me. I

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Speaker 1: am grateful for you, are grateful for you smith It,

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Speaker 1: and I'm grateful for you listeners. So yeah, please right

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Speaker 1: in if you have any thoughts about about this, because

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Speaker 1: I would just love to know. Uh, And You can

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Speaker 1: do that via our email, which is Stephitely, Your Mom

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00:23:37,040 --> 00:23:38,840
Speaker 1: Stuff and I Hurt mea dot com. You can find

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00:23:38,920 --> 00:23:40,720
Speaker 1: us on Twitter at mom Stuff Podcast or Instagram that

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00:23:40,720 --> 00:23:43,000
Speaker 1: Stuff I Never told You. Thanks as always to our

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Speaker 1: super producer Chris do you not Thank you? And thanks

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00:23:46,280 --> 00:23:48,040
Speaker 1: to you for listening Stuffie Never Told You This protection

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00:23:48,080 --> 00:23:49,840
Speaker 1: of by Heart Radio. For more podcast in My Heart Radio,

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Speaker 1: you can check out the radio at Apple Podcast wherever

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Speaker 1: you listen to favorite shops on