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Speaker 1: Concession, I can't take back arms speak. Tis the season

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Speaker 1: of giving and generosity.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, yes, And in that spirit, we are generously giving

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Speaker 2: you a chance to tell us your deepest, darkest secrets

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Speaker 2: right here on the radio, for millions to hear and

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Speaker 2: possibly laugh at.

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Speaker 1: Sound like a good trade. How wholesome are we?

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Speaker 3: It's either you do it with us, or you drink

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Speaker 3: too much at a family dinner and accidentally let slip.

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Speaker 2: Plus as an extra gift, we'll hide your identity and

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Speaker 2: keep you anonymous, like some sort of witness protection program.

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Speaker 1: So generous of us, Yeah, look at us, guys? Are

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Speaker 1: we the best at Christmas? Probably? As the Jew in

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Speaker 1: the room, I can say, yes we are.

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Speaker 2: And today we're gonna get a special holiday thing confession

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Speaker 2: from one of our listeners who's chosen to go by

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Speaker 2: the alias Mark Today. Mark, Welcome to the most generous

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Speaker 2: radio show on Earth. Hello, everyone, welcome to our Generosity Show.

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Speaker 2: You haven't said thank you to us yet, but that's okay.

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Speaker 2: We're generously gonna get yet. Okay, there we go, little late,

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Speaker 2: but we'll accept it. Voice changer is on. You are

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Speaker 2: the mass speaker. Whenever you're ready, let's hear your holiday confession.

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Speaker 4: Well, this happened a few years ago. I'm a bit

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Speaker 4: of a procrastinator, especially when it comes to getting gifts

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Speaker 4: for people.

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Speaker 5: Oh never know what to get, and I leave it

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Speaker 5: to the last minute. So, as usual, I was planning

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Speaker 5: on doing all my shopping for Christmas on Christmas Eve.

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Speaker 1: Dad's for sure, Yeah, matres for that.

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Speaker 4: So I decided I'd bring my buddy along, Eddie, and.

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Speaker 3: We're just gonna let his name out there.

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Speaker 2: I know exactly what Eddie talking about, but I'm not

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Speaker 2: gonna say it's fine.

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Speaker 3: So you and Eddie are good Christmas shopping on Christmas Eve.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, we both got to get a few gifts. So

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Speaker 4: we head over to the mall freaking packed. It was

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Speaker 4: a nightmare. Yeah, So we just decide maybe we should

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Speaker 4: be better to kill some times rather than go into

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Speaker 4: all that mess. So we duck it across the street

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Speaker 4: at a bar and we wait for things to kind

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Speaker 4: of die down a little bit.

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Speaker 3: Your procrastinating is still happening, Yeah.

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Speaker 4: Okay, So we figure while we're there, might as well

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Speaker 4: have a few beers, and that kind of turned into four.

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Speaker 3: It's one of those classic we're only gonna have one

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Speaker 3: nights but.

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Speaker 4: You know there's a football game one.

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Speaker 5: I mean, it's the perfect Christmas Eve, just not normal.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, we lost track of time before we know it,

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Speaker 4: and it's like past o'clock and the mall it's closed.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, we kind of knew that you weren't going to

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Speaker 3: get there.

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Speaker 1: Ye, malls should stay open later, though. It's a good make.

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Speaker 3: Those people stay scores making minimum.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, they should be twenty four to seven hour malls.

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Speaker 2: But that's fine, selfish teenagers.

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Speaker 1: It's okay.

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Speaker 4: Well, we we now have no gifts and all the

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Speaker 4: local stores they're shut down for the night too.

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Speaker 1: Yeah.

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Speaker 4: At this point we realize we're pretty.

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Speaker 3: Much just screwed unless you seal bar glasses and then

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Speaker 3: just regift them.

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Speaker 1: Yeah.

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Speaker 3: I got second trick lottery tickets, and you just hope you.

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Speaker 1: Makers every year.

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Speaker 3: Is your dad Eddie?

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Speaker 1: Yeah that might be. Well, yeah, you're stuck. What are

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Speaker 1: you gonna do?

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Speaker 4: Exactly? We're stuck. Both of us are too drunk now

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Speaker 4: to even drive. Yeah, we both just kind of start

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Speaker 4: walking in the direction of my house, which is half

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Speaker 4: a mile away from.

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Speaker 5: Where we're at.

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Speaker 4: Okay, we're saying, you know what, like, what the hell

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Speaker 4: are we gonna do? Or on the walk, and I

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Speaker 4: had a girlfriend who was gonna be pissed if I

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Speaker 4: didn't get her anything.

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Speaker 3: At the time, we didn't have children, were relying on you.

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Speaker 4: Thank God. Yeah. Okay, but as we're walking past this

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Speaker 4: alley of this strip ball, I see this big dumpster

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Speaker 4: and it's just like filled with tons of random.

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Speaker 3: Stuffs usually are I don't know.

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Speaker 4: It didn't look like just garbage. There was like boxes

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Speaker 4: and stuff, so.

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Speaker 5: I don't know.

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Speaker 4: So light bulb goes off in my head and we

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Speaker 4: just kind of start digging through. We can go dumpster diving,

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Speaker 4: and it's disgusting, but we actually found some salvageable items nice.

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Speaker 4: It was pretty cool. We brought them back home and

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Speaker 4: we just tried to clean them up a little bit.

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Speaker 1: What did you get from the dumpster?

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Speaker 4: I mean my girlfriend. I got her this big sand

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Speaker 4: see looking wooden cooking spoon. You know, she likes to cook,

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Speaker 4: so it worked a spoon, a big old She actually

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Speaker 4: liked it. She used it for the rest of our relationship.

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Speaker 1: Okay, cooking with a dumpster spoon. Okay.

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Speaker 4: I got my dad this ceramic pickle, little face on it,

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Speaker 4: a ceramic pickle. Yeah, it's just still sitting on his

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Speaker 4: desk right now to this day.

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Speaker 1: I love it.

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Speaker 3: I got it as the pickle ye. You know that Christ.

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Speaker 2: Awesome gifts, like to the point where people are like

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Speaker 2: remembering and saving it.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, they worked out. It's not the money, it's the

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Speaker 4: thought kind of yes, Yeah, he.

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Speaker 1: Thought I should dig through this dumpster.

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Speaker 4: The best one I think of all is the one

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Speaker 4: I got my mom. It's like this little decorative pillow

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Speaker 4: that's embroidered on it. It says live laugh lobotomy. It

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Speaker 4: works for her sense.

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Speaker 2: Of humor and it describes her son in a nutshell.

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Speaker 3: I don't worry about the material in the dump stress,

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Speaker 3: you know that in the washing machine. It's fine.

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Speaker 4: It's got like a nice natural fade of it was

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Speaker 4: probably white when I first came to existence.

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Speaker 1: It's got character and charm. Yeah, there you go.

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Speaker 3: You just tell her it's vintage. Yeah, it's the word

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Speaker 3: that you attached to anything.

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Speaker 1: Your mom still has the live laugh lobotomy pillow.

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Speaker 4: She still has it.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, Wow, they kept.

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Speaker 3: I will say that's the only live laugh sign that

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Speaker 3: I actually.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, that's so cringe and how magical The year that

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Speaker 2: you turned your family's house into the inside of a dumpster.

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Speaker 1: It's beautiful. I never told them to Oh you haven't

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Speaker 1: told them good ever?

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Speaker 2: Will?

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Speaker 3: I think it's time.

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Speaker 5: I like it.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, this might be the year you surprised them with. Yeah,

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Speaker 2: the true story.

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Speaker 4: You want to to tell him about that, Well, it's

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Speaker 4: really up to you.

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Speaker 2: But hey man, thanks for sharing your Hauliday confession. That

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Speaker 2: was actually not as bad as I thought it was

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Speaker 2: going to be. And text in seven eight, five nine two.

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Speaker 2: If you have a confession you've been holding on to,

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Speaker 2: we can hide your identity, mask your voice, and make

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Speaker 2: you our next mass speaker.

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Speaker 4: Brooke and Jeffrey in the Morning