Speaker 1: So I was about to apologize to my podcast team,
Speaker 1: but I'm going to do it publicly because it's something
Speaker 1: that I want to talk to you guys about. So
Speaker 1: I was going to apologize because I'm never late for anything.
Speaker 1: I am always on time, I am very accountable, I
Speaker 1: am very reliable, and I believe it was on my
Speaker 1: calendar yesterday that this podcast was going to be this
Speaker 1: morning at ten thirty, and now it's ten fifty two.
Speaker 1: Because I wanted to get on the phone with someone
Speaker 1: because I didn't want to be disconnected there and be
Speaker 1: always texting, and so I wanted to get on the
Speaker 1: phone because this person was about to go do something,
Speaker 1: and it made this delay. In addition, right five minutes
Speaker 1: before this was starting, I was passed out on my
Speaker 1: couch and my son room, even though I had awakened
Speaker 1: and taken my daughter to school and had a normal
Speaker 1: night's sleep. And all this is to say that I'm exhausted,
Speaker 1: physically exhausted, and there have been a lot of amazing
Speaker 1: things that I've been doing. I'm not complaining. I went
Speaker 1: to Paris Fashion Week, I went to my warehouse in
Speaker 1: Miami to get organized with all the aid I've been
Speaker 1: doing media for Be Strong to raise money to get
Speaker 1: to the two million dollars that we've raised, to get
Speaker 1: to the four hundred million dollars worldwide that we've raised
Speaker 1: over the years. And I was at the Glamour Women
Speaker 1: of the Year Awards, one of the best nights I've
Speaker 1: ever had, especially in entertainment and in events. But it
Speaker 1: was an inspiring evening of wonderful women and speeches and
Speaker 1: conversations and connection and all of that is good, and
Speaker 1: the big ticket items aren't really what's exhausting me. I
Speaker 1: received an award this week, an Impact Award for Women
Speaker 1: in Media. But what's happening in my life is also
Speaker 1: that I insist on being at my daughter's volleyball game.
Speaker 1: So yesterday, while I slept all day and couldn't move,
Speaker 1: I went to my volleyball game. And I was like
Speaker 1: a zombie because I just dragged myself there, but I
Speaker 1: wanted to be there and it means so much to her.
Speaker 1: And I watch my daughter look over at me when
Speaker 1: she gets a point or when she does something good,
Speaker 1: Like the second she does something good, she looks to
Speaker 1: see if I saw it, and like that means everything.
Speaker 1: That's literally why I'm there, you know. And sometimes I'm
Speaker 1: on the phone when like she's in a timeout or
Speaker 1: like you know, she's not on or they take a break,
Speaker 1: and sometimes I don't even know what's going on with
Speaker 1: the whole game, but I'm seeing what's going on with her,
Speaker 1: and then I check myself about that too, because i
Speaker 1: want to be present, which is to say that I'm
Speaker 1: stretched thin. I'm not always stretched thin, but I'm stretched
Speaker 1: thin right now. But I've been experiencing something with my
Speaker 1: own personal team, which is amazing. I have a hard working,
Speaker 1: incredible team. But because I am a person who does everything,
Speaker 1: meaning I get into everything, even in my house, I'll
Speaker 1: clean everything, I'll organize everything. Like I'm a person who's
Speaker 1: involved in everything, right And because of that, people rely
Speaker 1: on me to be involved in everything, and people the
Speaker 1: muscle gets weak and people aren't doing everything that they
Speaker 1: need to do on their own because they're just so
Speaker 1: used to the muscle being weak, of me being involved
Speaker 1: and being there to ask me things, to call me
Speaker 1: about things. It's almost like when you have kids and
Speaker 1: like they can just ask you every single thing and
Speaker 1: you're like I don't know, Like you're over here, like
Speaker 1: go phone a friend, and it happens at work. And
Speaker 1: if any of your entrepreneurs have your own businesses in
Speaker 1: any way, you'll know that this is true. And delegation
Speaker 1: is critical, and having the right people in the right
Speaker 1: seats so that you can delegate is critical. And it
Speaker 1: never happens like where you're noticing it along the way.
Speaker 1: It's almost like your garage is now busting out, or
Speaker 1: you're exhausted, or your house is a mess. And I
Speaker 1: hit the wall because the big ticket items of all
Speaker 1: the things that I'm doing, and the small minutia of
Speaker 1: all the things that I'm in and the needing to
Speaker 1: be at the games and all of that has taken
Speaker 1: its toll. And then what happens is if you're not
Speaker 1: properly prioritizing, and if that's happening and there's a breakdown
Speaker 1: the things that you're supposed to be doing, you're resenting.
Speaker 1: So if everybody on my team asks me every single
Speaker 1: question all day long about things like it's just in
Speaker 1: their nature to text me, oh what about this, and
Speaker 1: did you want to do that? And should we fix
Speaker 1: the like versus talking to each other, talking to their community.
Speaker 1: If they're all coming to me and each of them
Speaker 1: don't know that the others are coming to me. Just
Speaker 1: like kids. Let's say you have five kids and each
Speaker 1: one is coming to you about one thing that doesn't
Speaker 1: seem like a big deal, like what are we having
Speaker 1: for dinner? Or what about my sneakers? Or what about
Speaker 1: my permission slip or whatever, and they don't realize that
Speaker 1: all four kids are coming. Can you fix my costume?
Speaker 1: And then your husband's coming, and then your best friend
Speaker 1: is coming, and your sister's sick, and this is going on,
Speaker 1: and you have to pay the bills. You break, and
Speaker 1: that happens with women, and we break. And then what
Speaker 1: happens is somebody who's doing everything right, they did not
Speaker 1: do one thing wrong. One child, your perfect child, comes
Speaker 1: to you and says to you something very normal. You
Speaker 1: snap at them, or you can't be there for them.
Speaker 1: So that's where the balance is important. And the reason
Speaker 1: I'm bringing that up as it pertains to the podcast
Speaker 1: this morning, is that I have a podcast. It's an obligation.
Speaker 1: It's something I've committed to, and because of some of
Speaker 1: these other things that I'm doing, and because everyone is
Speaker 1: stripping me and pulling all the meat off my bones
Speaker 1: and all my obligations this yesterday, you know, my assistant
Speaker 1: will say, oh, we need you to do the podcast,
Speaker 1: like twenty minutes here, twenty minutes there, forty minutes there.
Speaker 1: And I said to her yesterday like, what, this cannot
Speaker 1: go on this way. I cannot do piecemeal podcasts. We
Speaker 1: have to sit down and do it in one shot.
Speaker 1: And it's not for me to decide how that shakes down.
Speaker 1: I have an entire team that's supposed to gatekeep and organize,
Speaker 1: so I do have that time that's going to happen.
Speaker 1: But then today I have that time that it's supposed
Speaker 1: to happen, but I'm broken down. I'm exhausted because of
Speaker 1: the system and the machine that has broken down over
Speaker 1: the course of the last month, and because I haven't
Speaker 1: had enough guardrails on myself. Everybody else hasn't had enough
Speaker 1: guardrails on myself. And no one's fault. I mean, it's
Speaker 1: not no one's fault. It is people's fault, but it's
Speaker 1: more like a breakdown overall for all of us. It's
Speaker 1: all of our fault. So then when my assistant says,
Speaker 1: you have the podcast in five minutes, I'm annoyed at her.
Speaker 1: Because I am exhausted, sleeping, I'm trying to have this
Speaker 1: phone conversation with someone that I wanted to have because
Speaker 1: otherwise we're going to get disconnected. And then I'm not
Speaker 1: going to speak to them verbally all day because we
Speaker 1: both have things going on and I'm the one now
Speaker 1: trying to fit twenty five pounds a shit in the
Speaker 1: five pound bag. And you suffer and you make mistakes,
Speaker 1: and if you don't take a day for yourself and
Speaker 1: you don't take the time for yourself, God or the
Speaker 1: universe will take it for you and you'll get sick.
Speaker 1: So this morning, when it was time to do the podcast,
Speaker 1: I ended up being twenty minutes late because I had
Speaker 1: to stop down and do the other thing that I
Speaker 1: needed to do. And it made me realize that this
Speaker 1: which is a real obligation, and no one who expects
Speaker 1: me to be here is doing anything wrong or doing
Speaker 1: everything right. But because all of the other stuff going
Speaker 1: sideways is why, then this real obligation that does matter
Speaker 1: suffers and that can't happen. And that's when I call
Speaker 1: everybody and say the system is broken and it needs
Speaker 1: to be corrected. So because when I start fucking around
Speaker 1: with things that are an obligation, that are real, true importance.
Speaker 1: Then everybody realizes, like maybe every single thing shouldn't be
Speaker 1: asked to me directly, and everybody has to find their
Speaker 1: own community and talk to each other, because that's when
Speaker 1: the mom crashes, the mom of your business, the mom
Speaker 1: of your kids, all of it. So you know, it
Speaker 1: has to be clear communication with your families, with your coworkers,
Speaker 1: with yourself, with your therapist, and you know, trying to
Speaker 1: lock the door before you get robbed, which definitely doesn't
Speaker 1: always happen and definitely did not happen for me today.
Speaker 1: So I apologize my podcast producers because your time is valuable,
Speaker 1: and to me, time is very valuable. I don't like
Speaker 1: when people waste my time and I don't like that dynamic.
Speaker 1: So absolutely something has to change. So I recently made
Speaker 1: a I think I did a story saying I now
Speaker 1: know what it's like to be a Kardashian ur j Low,
Speaker 1: and I've really been giving a lot of thought to
Speaker 1: what it's like to try to balance a social calendar
Speaker 1: and be a present parent, not to mention to multiple kids. Now,
Speaker 1: there are many people that you know give their kids
Speaker 1: a bath, sit down at dinner, their kids know they're there,
Speaker 1: Their kids are safe, their kids are protected. The parents
Speaker 1: aren't every single game. That's also not a requirement. That
Speaker 1: doesn't mean you're a bad parent if you don't go
Speaker 1: to every single game of your kids. We get these
Speaker 1: guilt things that go on that don't you know, necessarily exist.
Speaker 1: Your kid is not gonna be going to their wedding
Speaker 1: and saying like you missed a certain game. You know,
Speaker 1: everyone puts their own pressures on themselves. But by the
Speaker 1: same token, I have found that when you are social
Speaker 1: or you have obligations, obligations, et cetera, that there is
Speaker 1: a delicate balance that must be met. Now, let me explain.
Speaker 1: If I'm going to Paris Fashion Week and now my
Speaker 1: daughter did come, but what if she couldn't come. And
Speaker 1: if I go to the Glamour Women of the Year
Speaker 1: Awards and it's on a night that my daughter has
Speaker 1: a volleyball game, Okay, that's a very iconic night. I mean,
Speaker 1: I met the woman who invented the Me Too movement
Speaker 1: in Toronto. Like, to me, that's a once in a
Speaker 1: lifetime experience, and that's like I feel grateful for it
Speaker 1: to have happened, and there were so many strong women
Speaker 1: in this room that I'll get into, from Pamela Anderson
Speaker 1: to Sophia Bush to Taraji p Henson to Brookshields to
Speaker 1: it was endless that I felt grateful to be there.
Speaker 1: And so there are going to be things that I'm
Speaker 1: going to prioritize and how do I balance that because
Speaker 1: I'm the mom that was always at every single thing,
Speaker 1: and that is never ever not here any time that
Speaker 1: my daughter's home because I just never you know, I've
Speaker 1: never wanted to miss a bath. I didn't have a
Speaker 1: nanny just because I just knew that the muscle would
Speaker 1: get weak and if someone else was giving my kid
Speaker 1: to bath and I wouldn't. And again, none of this matters.
Speaker 1: It doesn't mean good parent, bath parent. It just probably
Speaker 1: means that I had a certain childhood and I'm probably
Speaker 1: overcompensating or just want a certain relationship or whatever it is.
Speaker 1: This is not any criticism of anyone. We are all
Speaker 1: doing the best we can. There are mothers that have
Speaker 1: four jobs. I mean, I'm just talking about my own experience.
Speaker 1: So what I do you know if you eat a
Speaker 1: big piece of chocolate cake, are we going to go
Speaker 1: eat French fries afterwards. If you want to have a
Speaker 1: healthy lifestyle, probably not. The next meal might be like,
Speaker 1: you know, a salad with grilled chicken or something. And
Speaker 1: for me, the balance and the same thing with money.
Speaker 1: If you go buy something very expensive, if you buy
Speaker 1: a very expensive watch, or you spurge, or you've just
Speaker 1: spent money on a house, you're probably not doing your
Speaker 1: big vacation there. That's sort of how we balance that
Speaker 1: part of our life. So now I'm going out and
Speaker 1: I'm not liking the way it makes me feel. I'm
Speaker 1: not liking that I missed a volleyball game of my daughters,
Speaker 1: you know, I'm not liking that there's like a business
Speaker 1: trip coming up. So how am I balancing that? You're
Speaker 1: getting really organized and it means like I'm one hundred
Speaker 1: percent taking my daughter to school every morning, but we're
Speaker 1: leaving early and we're stopping for coffee and we're not
Speaker 1: I'm not being on the phone, not that I ever
Speaker 1: am during that time anyway, but like not just sitting
Speaker 1: there in silence, like putting on the good music and
Speaker 1: holding her hand and laughing together and trying to get
Speaker 1: the conversation out and it means that I'm getting you know,
Speaker 1: being proactive about dinner. It means that I'm getting honored
Speaker 1: for an impact award, but it took me forty five
Speaker 1: minutes to an hour to get home. It means communicating
Speaker 1: with her and being like, Okay, what are we gonna
Speaker 1: do tonight. I'm gonna be home. It's gonna be a
Speaker 1: little late. It's eight forty five. Will you have a
Speaker 1: snack so you'll wait for me? You know, I walk
Speaker 1: in exasperated, but I want her to wait for me.
Speaker 1: And then, you know, I order the special sushi on
Speaker 1: the way home, and we sit down and we have
Speaker 1: like a great meal and we laugh and like I
Speaker 1: feel whole again. But like on the way back from
Speaker 1: that award serremony, coming to the house and knowing that
Speaker 1: it was long and late and that she's got to
Speaker 1: get up early, like I was feeling terrible, miserable, like anxiety,
Speaker 1: and she I walked in and she didn't give me
Speaker 1: any damage, and we had our beautiful dinner. And in
Speaker 1: the morning I took her to school and I said
Speaker 1: to her, thank you, I'm sorry that I was late,
Speaker 1: and thank you for not like giving me any damage
Speaker 1: about it. You know a forty five was very late
Speaker 1: to be eating dinner on a school night with your kid,
Speaker 1: but like, that's what we did and it made me
Speaker 1: feel really good. But had I just said I'll be
Speaker 1: home and hadn't mentioned it to her, she might have
Speaker 1: had a piece of pizza. I would have come home.
Speaker 1: I would have felt completely like disconnected and I would
Speaker 1: have ruined it. And again, it can't be perfect, but
Speaker 1: by being organized and trying to be proactive and trying
Speaker 1: to create a balance, you know I'll be better for it.
Speaker 1: And when the hurricane the hurricane hit Milton was was
Speaker 1: was bad, but it wasn't as catastrophic and the worst
Speaker 1: global disaster in history that we predicted it to be.
Speaker 1: And I was supposed to go to Tampa, but where
Speaker 1: the worst of the damage was wasn't in Tampa, and
Speaker 1: my team for at Bistrong went and did advance work
Speaker 1: for the whole day and said to me, because of
Speaker 1: what we prepared for for, it's different than what we
Speaker 1: prepared for, so you don't need to come. And I
Speaker 1: was relieved because I'm never going to not go to
Speaker 1: do relief work when I know I can be of
Speaker 1: service and when I should go and when that will
Speaker 1: impact raising more money. But I was relieved because I'm
Speaker 1: stripped and I'm burnt out, and so you know, men
Speaker 1: having good quality time with my daughter at school today,
Speaker 1: maybe taking her to lunch, and just like I'm having
Speaker 1: a rough time doing the best that I can because
Speaker 1: everything's going really well. But when things are going really
Speaker 1: well in relationship and work, in friendships, maybe in parenting,
Speaker 1: there are some growing pains and you have to watch
Speaker 1: out for the growing pains to like work the problem through,
Speaker 1: and that is where I thrive, and that is what
Speaker 1: I'm good good at and coming out stronger than ever.
Speaker 1: But it requires effort, and you can't do everything. We
Speaker 1: cannot do everything. You can do everything for a minute,
Speaker 1: and then you've got to pull back. You gotta pull back.
Speaker 1: So don't rip yourselves on things that don't matter, because
Speaker 1: then when something does matter, you can't do it. If
Speaker 1: I'm running around fucking around, not you know, missing some
Speaker 1: of my daughter's games, which really it happens so rarely.
Speaker 1: If I miss a game, I make sure I'm at
Speaker 1: the next one, and it's special, like I don't like missing,
Speaker 1: but also it's okay. I just mean, if you're doing
Speaker 1: fucking around, doing stupid things. Then when there's a real
Speaker 1: thing you have to do that suffers