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Speaker 1: So I was about to apologize to my podcast team,

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Speaker 1: but I'm going to do it publicly because it's something

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Speaker 1: that I want to talk to you guys about. So

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Speaker 1: I was going to apologize because I'm never late for anything.

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Speaker 1: I am always on time, I am very accountable, I

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Speaker 1: am very reliable, and I believe it was on my

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Speaker 1: calendar yesterday that this podcast was going to be this

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Speaker 1: morning at ten thirty, and now it's ten fifty two.

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Speaker 1: Because I wanted to get on the phone with someone

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Speaker 1: because I didn't want to be disconnected there and be

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Speaker 1: always texting, and so I wanted to get on the

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Speaker 1: phone because this person was about to go do something,

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Speaker 1: and it made this delay. In addition, right five minutes

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Speaker 1: before this was starting, I was passed out on my

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Speaker 1: couch and my son room, even though I had awakened

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Speaker 1: and taken my daughter to school and had a normal

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Speaker 1: night's sleep. And all this is to say that I'm exhausted,

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Speaker 1: physically exhausted, and there have been a lot of amazing

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Speaker 1: things that I've been doing. I'm not complaining. I went

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Speaker 1: to Paris Fashion Week, I went to my warehouse in

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Speaker 1: Miami to get organized with all the aid I've been

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Speaker 1: doing media for Be Strong to raise money to get

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Speaker 1: to the two million dollars that we've raised, to get

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Speaker 1: to the four hundred million dollars worldwide that we've raised

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Speaker 1: over the years. And I was at the Glamour Women

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Speaker 1: of the Year Awards, one of the best nights I've

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Speaker 1: ever had, especially in entertainment and in events. But it

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Speaker 1: was an inspiring evening of wonderful women and speeches and

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Speaker 1: conversations and connection and all of that is good, and

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Speaker 1: the big ticket items aren't really what's exhausting me. I

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Speaker 1: received an award this week, an Impact Award for Women

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Speaker 1: in Media. But what's happening in my life is also

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Speaker 1: that I insist on being at my daughter's volleyball game.

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Speaker 1: So yesterday, while I slept all day and couldn't move,

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Speaker 1: I went to my volleyball game. And I was like

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Speaker 1: a zombie because I just dragged myself there, but I

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Speaker 1: wanted to be there and it means so much to her.

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Speaker 1: And I watch my daughter look over at me when

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Speaker 1: she gets a point or when she does something good,

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Speaker 1: Like the second she does something good, she looks to

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Speaker 1: see if I saw it, and like that means everything.

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Speaker 1: That's literally why I'm there, you know. And sometimes I'm

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Speaker 1: on the phone when like she's in a timeout or

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Speaker 1: like you know, she's not on or they take a break,

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Speaker 1: and sometimes I don't even know what's going on with

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Speaker 1: the whole game, but I'm seeing what's going on with her,

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Speaker 1: and then I check myself about that too, because i

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Speaker 1: want to be present, which is to say that I'm

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Speaker 1: stretched thin. I'm not always stretched thin, but I'm stretched

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Speaker 1: thin right now. But I've been experiencing something with my

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Speaker 1: own personal team, which is amazing. I have a hard working,

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Speaker 1: incredible team. But because I am a person who does everything,

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Speaker 1: meaning I get into everything, even in my house, I'll

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Speaker 1: clean everything, I'll organize everything. Like I'm a person who's

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Speaker 1: involved in everything, right And because of that, people rely

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Speaker 1: on me to be involved in everything, and people the

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Speaker 1: muscle gets weak and people aren't doing everything that they

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Speaker 1: need to do on their own because they're just so

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Speaker 1: used to the muscle being weak, of me being involved

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Speaker 1: and being there to ask me things, to call me

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Speaker 1: about things. It's almost like when you have kids and

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Speaker 1: like they can just ask you every single thing and

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Speaker 1: you're like I don't know, Like you're over here, like

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Speaker 1: go phone a friend, and it happens at work. And

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Speaker 1: if any of your entrepreneurs have your own businesses in

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Speaker 1: any way, you'll know that this is true. And delegation

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Speaker 1: is critical, and having the right people in the right

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Speaker 1: seats so that you can delegate is critical. And it

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Speaker 1: never happens like where you're noticing it along the way.

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Speaker 1: It's almost like your garage is now busting out, or

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Speaker 1: you're exhausted, or your house is a mess. And I

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Speaker 1: hit the wall because the big ticket items of all

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Speaker 1: the things that I'm doing, and the small minutia of

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Speaker 1: all the things that I'm in and the needing to

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Speaker 1: be at the games and all of that has taken

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Speaker 1: its toll. And then what happens is if you're not

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Speaker 1: properly prioritizing, and if that's happening and there's a breakdown

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Speaker 1: the things that you're supposed to be doing, you're resenting.

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Speaker 1: So if everybody on my team asks me every single

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Speaker 1: question all day long about things like it's just in

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Speaker 1: their nature to text me, oh what about this, and

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Speaker 1: did you want to do that? And should we fix

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Speaker 1: the like versus talking to each other, talking to their community.

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Speaker 1: If they're all coming to me and each of them

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Speaker 1: don't know that the others are coming to me. Just

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Speaker 1: like kids. Let's say you have five kids and each

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Speaker 1: one is coming to you about one thing that doesn't

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Speaker 1: seem like a big deal, like what are we having

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Speaker 1: for dinner? Or what about my sneakers? Or what about

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Speaker 1: my permission slip or whatever, and they don't realize that

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Speaker 1: all four kids are coming. Can you fix my costume?

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Speaker 1: And then your husband's coming, and then your best friend

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Speaker 1: is coming, and your sister's sick, and this is going on,

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Speaker 1: and you have to pay the bills. You break, and

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Speaker 1: that happens with women, and we break. And then what

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Speaker 1: happens is somebody who's doing everything right, they did not

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Speaker 1: do one thing wrong. One child, your perfect child, comes

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Speaker 1: to you and says to you something very normal. You

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Speaker 1: snap at them, or you can't be there for them.

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Speaker 1: So that's where the balance is important. And the reason

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Speaker 1: I'm bringing that up as it pertains to the podcast

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Speaker 1: this morning, is that I have a podcast. It's an obligation.

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Speaker 1: It's something I've committed to, and because of some of

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Speaker 1: these other things that I'm doing, and because everyone is

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Speaker 1: stripping me and pulling all the meat off my bones

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Speaker 1: and all my obligations this yesterday, you know, my assistant

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Speaker 1: will say, oh, we need you to do the podcast,

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Speaker 1: like twenty minutes here, twenty minutes there, forty minutes there.

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Speaker 1: And I said to her yesterday like, what, this cannot

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Speaker 1: go on this way. I cannot do piecemeal podcasts. We

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Speaker 1: have to sit down and do it in one shot.

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Speaker 1: And it's not for me to decide how that shakes down.

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Speaker 1: I have an entire team that's supposed to gatekeep and organize,

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Speaker 1: so I do have that time that's going to happen.

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Speaker 1: But then today I have that time that it's supposed

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Speaker 1: to happen, but I'm broken down. I'm exhausted because of

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Speaker 1: the system and the machine that has broken down over

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Speaker 1: the course of the last month, and because I haven't

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Speaker 1: had enough guardrails on myself. Everybody else hasn't had enough

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Speaker 1: guardrails on myself. And no one's fault. I mean, it's

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Speaker 1: not no one's fault. It is people's fault, but it's

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Speaker 1: more like a breakdown overall for all of us. It's

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Speaker 1: all of our fault. So then when my assistant says,

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Speaker 1: you have the podcast in five minutes, I'm annoyed at her.

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Speaker 1: Because I am exhausted, sleeping, I'm trying to have this

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Speaker 1: phone conversation with someone that I wanted to have because

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Speaker 1: otherwise we're going to get disconnected. And then I'm not

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Speaker 1: going to speak to them verbally all day because we

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Speaker 1: both have things going on and I'm the one now

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Speaker 1: trying to fit twenty five pounds a shit in the

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Speaker 1: five pound bag. And you suffer and you make mistakes,

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Speaker 1: and if you don't take a day for yourself and

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Speaker 1: you don't take the time for yourself, God or the

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Speaker 1: universe will take it for you and you'll get sick.

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Speaker 1: So this morning, when it was time to do the podcast,

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Speaker 1: I ended up being twenty minutes late because I had

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Speaker 1: to stop down and do the other thing that I

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Speaker 1: needed to do. And it made me realize that this

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Speaker 1: which is a real obligation, and no one who expects

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Speaker 1: me to be here is doing anything wrong or doing

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Speaker 1: everything right. But because all of the other stuff going

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Speaker 1: sideways is why, then this real obligation that does matter

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Speaker 1: suffers and that can't happen. And that's when I call

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Speaker 1: everybody and say the system is broken and it needs

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Speaker 1: to be corrected. So because when I start fucking around

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Speaker 1: with things that are an obligation, that are real, true importance.

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Speaker 1: Then everybody realizes, like maybe every single thing shouldn't be

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Speaker 1: asked to me directly, and everybody has to find their

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Speaker 1: own community and talk to each other, because that's when

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Speaker 1: the mom crashes, the mom of your business, the mom

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Speaker 1: of your kids, all of it. So you know, it

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Speaker 1: has to be clear communication with your families, with your coworkers,

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Speaker 1: with yourself, with your therapist, and you know, trying to

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Speaker 1: lock the door before you get robbed, which definitely doesn't

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Speaker 1: always happen and definitely did not happen for me today.

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Speaker 1: So I apologize my podcast producers because your time is valuable,

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Speaker 1: and to me, time is very valuable. I don't like

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Speaker 1: when people waste my time and I don't like that dynamic.

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Speaker 1: So absolutely something has to change. So I recently made

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Speaker 1: a I think I did a story saying I now

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Speaker 1: know what it's like to be a Kardashian ur j Low,

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Speaker 1: and I've really been giving a lot of thought to

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Speaker 1: what it's like to try to balance a social calendar

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Speaker 1: and be a present parent, not to mention to multiple kids. Now,

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Speaker 1: there are many people that you know give their kids

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Speaker 1: a bath, sit down at dinner, their kids know they're there,

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Speaker 1: Their kids are safe, their kids are protected. The parents

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Speaker 1: aren't every single game. That's also not a requirement. That

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Speaker 1: doesn't mean you're a bad parent if you don't go

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Speaker 1: to every single game of your kids. We get these

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Speaker 1: guilt things that go on that don't you know, necessarily exist.

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Speaker 1: Your kid is not gonna be going to their wedding

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Speaker 1: and saying like you missed a certain game. You know,

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Speaker 1: everyone puts their own pressures on themselves. But by the

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Speaker 1: same token, I have found that when you are social

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Speaker 1: or you have obligations, obligations, et cetera, that there is

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Speaker 1: a delicate balance that must be met. Now, let me explain.

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Speaker 1: If I'm going to Paris Fashion Week and now my

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Speaker 1: daughter did come, but what if she couldn't come. And

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Speaker 1: if I go to the Glamour Women of the Year

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Speaker 1: Awards and it's on a night that my daughter has

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Speaker 1: a volleyball game, Okay, that's a very iconic night. I mean,

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Speaker 1: I met the woman who invented the Me Too movement

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Speaker 1: in Toronto. Like, to me, that's a once in a

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Speaker 1: lifetime experience, and that's like I feel grateful for it

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Speaker 1: to have happened, and there were so many strong women

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Speaker 1: in this room that I'll get into, from Pamela Anderson

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Speaker 1: to Sophia Bush to Taraji p Henson to Brookshields to

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Speaker 1: it was endless that I felt grateful to be there.

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Speaker 1: And so there are going to be things that I'm

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Speaker 1: going to prioritize and how do I balance that because

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Speaker 1: I'm the mom that was always at every single thing,

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Speaker 1: and that is never ever not here any time that

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Speaker 1: my daughter's home because I just never you know, I've

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Speaker 1: never wanted to miss a bath. I didn't have a

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Speaker 1: nanny just because I just knew that the muscle would

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Speaker 1: get weak and if someone else was giving my kid

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Speaker 1: to bath and I wouldn't. And again, none of this matters.

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Speaker 1: It doesn't mean good parent, bath parent. It just probably

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Speaker 1: means that I had a certain childhood and I'm probably

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Speaker 1: overcompensating or just want a certain relationship or whatever it is.

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Speaker 1: This is not any criticism of anyone. We are all

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Speaker 1: doing the best we can. There are mothers that have

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Speaker 1: four jobs. I mean, I'm just talking about my own experience.

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Speaker 1: So what I do you know if you eat a

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Speaker 1: big piece of chocolate cake, are we going to go

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Speaker 1: eat French fries afterwards. If you want to have a

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Speaker 1: healthy lifestyle, probably not. The next meal might be like,

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Speaker 1: you know, a salad with grilled chicken or something. And

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Speaker 1: for me, the balance and the same thing with money.

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Speaker 1: If you go buy something very expensive, if you buy

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Speaker 1: a very expensive watch, or you spurge, or you've just

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Speaker 1: spent money on a house, you're probably not doing your

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Speaker 1: big vacation there. That's sort of how we balance that

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Speaker 1: part of our life. So now I'm going out and

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Speaker 1: I'm not liking the way it makes me feel. I'm

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Speaker 1: not liking that I missed a volleyball game of my daughters,

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Speaker 1: you know, I'm not liking that there's like a business

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Speaker 1: trip coming up. So how am I balancing that? You're

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Speaker 1: getting really organized and it means like I'm one hundred

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Speaker 1: percent taking my daughter to school every morning, but we're

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Speaker 1: leaving early and we're stopping for coffee and we're not

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Speaker 1: I'm not being on the phone, not that I ever

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Speaker 1: am during that time anyway, but like not just sitting

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Speaker 1: there in silence, like putting on the good music and

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Speaker 1: holding her hand and laughing together and trying to get

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Speaker 1: the conversation out and it means that I'm getting you know,

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Speaker 1: being proactive about dinner. It means that I'm getting honored

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Speaker 1: for an impact award, but it took me forty five

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Speaker 1: minutes to an hour to get home. It means communicating

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Speaker 1: with her and being like, Okay, what are we gonna

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Speaker 1: do tonight. I'm gonna be home. It's gonna be a

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Speaker 1: little late. It's eight forty five. Will you have a

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Speaker 1: snack so you'll wait for me? You know, I walk

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Speaker 1: in exasperated, but I want her to wait for me.

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Speaker 1: And then, you know, I order the special sushi on

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Speaker 1: the way home, and we sit down and we have

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Speaker 1: like a great meal and we laugh and like I

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Speaker 1: feel whole again. But like on the way back from

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Speaker 1: that award serremony, coming to the house and knowing that

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Speaker 1: it was long and late and that she's got to

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Speaker 1: get up early, like I was feeling terrible, miserable, like anxiety,

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Speaker 1: and she I walked in and she didn't give me

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Speaker 1: any damage, and we had our beautiful dinner. And in

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Speaker 1: the morning I took her to school and I said

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Speaker 1: to her, thank you, I'm sorry that I was late,

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Speaker 1: and thank you for not like giving me any damage

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Speaker 1: about it. You know a forty five was very late

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Speaker 1: to be eating dinner on a school night with your kid,

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Speaker 1: but like, that's what we did and it made me

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Speaker 1: feel really good. But had I just said I'll be

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Speaker 1: home and hadn't mentioned it to her, she might have

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Speaker 1: had a piece of pizza. I would have come home.

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Speaker 1: I would have felt completely like disconnected and I would

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Speaker 1: have ruined it. And again, it can't be perfect, but

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Speaker 1: by being organized and trying to be proactive and trying

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Speaker 1: to create a balance, you know I'll be better for it.

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Speaker 1: And when the hurricane the hurricane hit Milton was was

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Speaker 1: was bad, but it wasn't as catastrophic and the worst

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Speaker 1: global disaster in history that we predicted it to be.

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Speaker 1: And I was supposed to go to Tampa, but where

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Speaker 1: the worst of the damage was wasn't in Tampa, and

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Speaker 1: my team for at Bistrong went and did advance work

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Speaker 1: for the whole day and said to me, because of

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Speaker 1: what we prepared for for, it's different than what we

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Speaker 1: prepared for, so you don't need to come. And I

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Speaker 1: was relieved because I'm never going to not go to

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Speaker 1: do relief work when I know I can be of

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Speaker 1: service and when I should go and when that will

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Speaker 1: impact raising more money. But I was relieved because I'm

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Speaker 1: stripped and I'm burnt out, and so you know, men

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Speaker 1: having good quality time with my daughter at school today,

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Speaker 1: maybe taking her to lunch, and just like I'm having

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Speaker 1: a rough time doing the best that I can because

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Speaker 1: everything's going really well. But when things are going really

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Speaker 1: well in relationship and work, in friendships, maybe in parenting,

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Speaker 1: there are some growing pains and you have to watch

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Speaker 1: out for the growing pains to like work the problem through,

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Speaker 1: and that is where I thrive, and that is what

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Speaker 1: I'm good good at and coming out stronger than ever.

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Speaker 1: But it requires effort, and you can't do everything. We

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Speaker 1: cannot do everything. You can do everything for a minute,

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Speaker 1: and then you've got to pull back. You gotta pull back.

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Speaker 1: So don't rip yourselves on things that don't matter, because

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Speaker 1: then when something does matter, you can't do it. If

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Speaker 1: I'm running around fucking around, not you know, missing some

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Speaker 1: of my daughter's games, which really it happens so rarely.

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Speaker 1: If I miss a game, I make sure I'm at

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Speaker 1: the next one, and it's special, like I don't like missing,

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Speaker 1: but also it's okay. I just mean, if you're doing

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Speaker 1: fucking around, doing stupid things. Then when there's a real

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Speaker 1: thing you have to do that suffers