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Speaker 1: Second date, up Date, We got an email from one

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Speaker 1: of our listeners who says he's been living his life

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Speaker 1: by a dating philosophy that's been circulating on the internet

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Speaker 1: now for about two decades decades. It's called the Tow

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Speaker 1: of Steve. That is Tao of Steve. And I've not

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Speaker 1: heard anything about this, but according to him, it involves

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Speaker 1: three basic rules that men must live by. Number one,

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Speaker 1: be desireless.

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Speaker 2: Number two nobody wants you.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, I'm good at that one. I'm not sure. I

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Speaker 1: guess we'll find out. Number two is be excellent and

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Speaker 1: number three be gone. And if you can live by

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Speaker 1: all three of those rules as a man, you will

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Speaker 1: become irresistible to any woman on earth, even married women. Brooks,

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Speaker 1: so look out. Maybe get your ear plugs ready before

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Speaker 1: we talk to him.

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Speaker 2: I love those gone boys.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, we're gonna learn more in a second. First, let's

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Speaker 1: say hello to Bobby, who needs our spiritual guidance today. Bobby,

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Speaker 1: Welcome to the show.

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Speaker 3: Hey, guys, how you doing.

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Speaker 2: I wanted you to be Steve, the originator of all

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Speaker 2: of this, but barely your Bobby. That works too well.

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Speaker 3: We can't be everything, I guess all the time. I'm

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Speaker 3: doing my best here. I'm doing my best.

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Speaker 2: It isn't calling our show breaking rules one in three

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Speaker 2: already of your expect Yeah.

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Speaker 3: You guys are on to me. But it's a desperate situation.

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Speaker 4: I need you.

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Speaker 2: That's role number four. Be desperate. Jeffer just didn't get

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Speaker 2: to it.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, so tell us who's this woman that's making you

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Speaker 1: go against everything you believe in. Her name is Tory.

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Speaker 3: She's super hot and she's super nice and we just

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Speaker 3: had an amazing date and like, I don't know, normally

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Speaker 3: a woman would respond to all these philosophical things I've done.

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Speaker 3: But it's completely backfiring on me now.

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Speaker 2: Because if you're excited about someone and it's like the

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Speaker 2: first time you've ever felt this way, like lean into it,

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Speaker 2: like life's too short to be desireless. Yeah, you can

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Speaker 2: tell sometimes if someone's like purposely waiting Tilly to do.

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Speaker 1: It, Like, yeah, next thing you know, you end up

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Speaker 1: on this show and you hit your rock bottom. So wow, Bobby,

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Speaker 1: tell us how did you get to this point? Like,

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Speaker 1: tell us about your date with Tori.

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Speaker 2: How did you know her? Is it an online thing

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Speaker 2: or no?

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Speaker 3: No, I met her at a bar. I just kind

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Speaker 3: of bumped into her, and it had to be desirefull

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Speaker 3: in the beginning, and then you be desire less. Okay,

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Speaker 3: that's how it works.

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Speaker 1: Okay, it makes sense.

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Speaker 3: I'm in the phase between desireless and be excellent and

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Speaker 3: uh we're waiting outside the restaurant because it's like a

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Speaker 3: popular place, you know. So I had my opportunity to

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Speaker 3: be excellent just come upon me. It was awesome.

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Speaker 1: What are you excellent at? Friend?

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Speaker 2: Oh, I'm excited. What this opportunity was.

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Speaker 1: What happened?

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Speaker 3: So this foreign family, I'm not sure where they were from.

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Speaker 3: I didn't speak whatever language they like. Vaguely I can

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Speaker 3: tell they're looking for a specific museum, like a really

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Speaker 3: famous red.

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Speaker 2: Okay, so they're like tourists in the area and they

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Speaker 2: need some help.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, exactly, Okay. They weren't understanding my directions, so I

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Speaker 3: was just like with my fingers. I was like, I

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Speaker 3: will walk you there, you know, like little like walking

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Speaker 3: man finger.

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Speaker 1: Yeah.

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Speaker 2: Most people would pull out Google Translate on their phone

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Speaker 2: and pull it up on their phone on Google Maps.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, but okay, yeah, but Google Maps is an excellent

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Speaker 3: I want.

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Speaker 2: To be You're gonna leave your date standing in front

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Speaker 2: of the restaurant while you walk this family.

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Speaker 3: Absolutely not. I took her with me.

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Speaker 1: So now you're demonstrating that you're a guy who's willing

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Speaker 1: to help strangers. You know your way around the neighborhood

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Speaker 1: generally a lot of excellent qualities.

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Speaker 2: You know what a museum is, yes, you know exactly.

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Speaker 1: So do you go straight to the bedroom from the museum?

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Speaker 1: Did you have to do more?

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Speaker 3: Well? You know, if you have the chance to be

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Speaker 3: excellent twice, let's do it twice. And luckily for your

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Speaker 3: boy here, he was excellent twice in one night.

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Speaker 1: Whoa at the museum? So many directions back to the restaurant?

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Speaker 2: Wow, what'd you do the second time?

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Speaker 3: So second time we're having dinner. Dinner is like pretty

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Speaker 3: much finishing up, and you could just tell like someone

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Speaker 3: dined and dash, someone hadn't paid their bill. Yeah, like

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Speaker 3: the waiters were all huddling together and stuff, and like

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Speaker 3: it was an expensive bill. It was a big deal. Yeah.

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Speaker 3: I took care of the bill and I tipped the waiter,

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Speaker 3: just kind of nonchalant.

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Speaker 2: Like, oh wow, super nice bro. I thought you were

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Speaker 2: going to go to hero mode and tackle the dining dasher,

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Speaker 2: but you just took care of it.

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Speaker 3: I mean, I think tackling the dining dasher is cool,

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Speaker 3: but it's even cooler to be nonchalant.

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Speaker 1: How do you be nonchalant after just going over and

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Speaker 1: paying someone else's bill? Like, what do you say to

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Speaker 1: Tory when you come back to the table.

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Speaker 3: Well, the thing is, you say nothing, and you wait

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Speaker 3: for her to question you what was that?

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Speaker 2: And then you reveal, wow, did she fall into that? Ploy?

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Speaker 3: She was like, what was that? I was like, I

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Speaker 3: just took care of it. A little shoulder shrug, no.

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Speaker 2: Bill, Nope, while you're checking your bake statement to make

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Speaker 2: sure it doesn't bounce these things.

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Speaker 3: These are investments. Okay, you are investing though, because you

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Speaker 3: know she's gonna think about little things.

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Speaker 2: I mean, honestly, it's a gentleman thing to do.

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Speaker 1: We're all impressed. Did it work on Tori?

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Speaker 3: If you had asked me in the moment, I was like,

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Speaker 3: couldn't be better. I walked her home, we hugged, I

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Speaker 3: gave her a peck on the cheek, said we'd talked, dude.

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Speaker 3: And then it turns out she goned.

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Speaker 2: Me, oh no, yeah, the goner got gone.

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Speaker 3: You never hit me up?

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Speaker 2: How long did you wait? Before you contacted her after

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Speaker 2: the date.

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Speaker 3: Well, I mean, like according to the pools I live by,

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Speaker 3: and trying to be gone. So I was trying to

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Speaker 3: be gone for a while.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, that's your answer right there.

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Speaker 2: You think she thought she got ghosts? Yeah, you don't

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Speaker 2: hear from someone after a first date, you're not, yea.

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Speaker 1: So maybe your rules are playing against you if you're

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Speaker 1: sticking to them.

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Speaker 3: Yeah. But like as to like four or five day,

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Speaker 3: that just couldn't take it anymore. And I just started

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Speaker 3: texting her and I was absolutely desireful, not excellent, and

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Speaker 3: I was pregnant.

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Speaker 1: Oh, man, broke you. I feel you, Steve would be

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Speaker 1: so disappointed in your behavior.

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Speaker 2: When I tell myself I'm gonna eat healthy and then

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Speaker 2: what do you know, a whole box of oreos ends

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Speaker 2: up in my mouth.

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Speaker 3: You know.

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Speaker 1: And now you're reaching out to us, which I think

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Speaker 1: breaks your first rule of like be desireless, because now

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Speaker 1: you're asking a radio show to show how much you

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Speaker 1: want to hang out.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, I mean all the rules are out the window

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Speaker 3: at this point. I want toy so bad.

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Speaker 1: Wow, we're throwing every rule that we know out the window.

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Speaker 1: When we come back and call Tory for you and

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Speaker 1: try to get her to agree to abide by the

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Speaker 1: towel of Bobby and give you one more chance with

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Speaker 1: your second date update right after this hold on second

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Speaker 1: date update. You know you're in a good place when

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Speaker 1: you find yourself abandoning your entire belief system to score

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Speaker 1: a date with a woman. I've abandoned my belief six

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Speaker 1: times since I got to work today. Oh, and it

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Speaker 1: feels great.

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Speaker 2: I don't know we could call a dating strategy your

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Speaker 2: belief system. That seems so little dramatic.

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Speaker 1: Well that's what Bobby says. He told us he used

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Speaker 1: to live by a dating philosophy called the Tao of Steve, which,

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Speaker 1: if you didn't hear, it's basically three rules about demonstrating

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Speaker 1: your value while also not coming across as desperate or

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Speaker 1: too available. Okay, so he's stuck to those very strictly

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Speaker 1: until he met Tory Yeah, and said, screw it, Tory's

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Speaker 1: way too hot. I need to know why she's not

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Speaker 1: calling me back right now.

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Speaker 2: I mean he lasted four days until he started incessantly

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Speaker 2: texting her exactly yeah, with no response.

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Speaker 1: Now, Bobby, I'm assuming you don't want us to tell

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Speaker 1: Tory about your mantra and the rules that you follow

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Speaker 1: unless how you already told her, did you?

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Speaker 2: No?

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Speaker 3: No, no, I couldn't tell her my philosophy. Don't tell Okay,

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Speaker 3: well that's part of it.

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Speaker 1: You don't say it.

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Speaker 2: But also, do you assume most singles out there try

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Speaker 2: to do the same general thing. Play hard to get,

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Speaker 2: not be too available. It's pretty comed be excellent.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, yeah, but like this is my secret, sauce.

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Speaker 3: Tell the secret, sauce.

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Speaker 1: I think it's admirable day as a plan because mine

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Speaker 1: is just drink a lot and hope for the best. So, Bobby,

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Speaker 1: you're in a better spot than a lot of people.

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Speaker 2: And we've all seen you after you drink a lot.

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Speaker 2: It's not.

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Speaker 1: What she's a crier to.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, well that's exactly right, Jose.

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Speaker 1: Let's call Tory. We'll see what she hass to say.

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Speaker 1: Why she's not calling you back. Hopefully she picks up

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Speaker 1: and I'm dialing your number right now. Here we go

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Speaker 1: for us. How hot is she?

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Speaker 3: Hello?

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Speaker 1: Hey, we're looking to speak with toy.

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Speaker 4: Can I ask you's calling?

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Speaker 1: Yes, you can. We're a radio show. We're called Brook

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Speaker 1: and Jeffrey in the morning.

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Speaker 4: He also here, I'm sorry what's going on.

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Speaker 1: We're doing a segment on our show called the Second

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Speaker 1: Date Update, where we're trying to help out one of

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Speaker 1: our listeners get in touch with you after you already

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Speaker 1: went on one day with him.

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Speaker 4: Is just like some internet thing or.

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Speaker 1: No, no, it's much more disgraceful. It's a radio thing.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, but it's also a podcast focus.

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Speaker 1: On the radio parts. That's the cool bit of this,

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Speaker 1: because we're just trying to get some answers for Bobby

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Speaker 1: about why you're not hanging out again or even talking

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Speaker 1: to him at all.

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Speaker 4: I mean, it was a date, okay.

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Speaker 2: I mean you could see it's probably pretty obvious that

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Speaker 2: it's driving him nuts not knowing why you're not calling because.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, I mean, it's kind of just felt like I

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Speaker 4: was on a date with someone who was giving attention

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Speaker 4: to everyone and everything else except me.

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Speaker 2: Okay, why do you say that?

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Speaker 4: Even when we first got to the restaurant, we were

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Speaker 4: waiting and he offered to show some people that were

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Speaker 4: lost away.

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Speaker 3: To the museum.

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Speaker 4: But that's nice, Yeah, but I was starving and we

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Speaker 4: lost our reservation so we had to wait another thirty minutes.

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Speaker 1: No, because you were gone. Oh I could see.

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Speaker 2: That happening actually, and I'm sorry, not only that if

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Speaker 2: she's in heels, like it's not comfortable to walk.

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Speaker 1: Okay, So you don't value helping people. You value material.

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Speaker 2: Things like don't I come at her like that?

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Speaker 1: Oh, I'm trying to understand where your thought processes.

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Speaker 4: I mean that was just one part of the date.

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Speaker 4: Like even when we were inside he would compliment the

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Speaker 4: weight staff.

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Speaker 3: But how dare he never once complimented me?

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Speaker 2: Oh, that's important, like the focus of the whole night

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Speaker 2: or the weight staff.

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Speaker 1: To compliment you for going to do it directly? Looks

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Speaker 1: so beautiful? Could you also relay that to her?

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Speaker 2: I didn't compliment you, because I mean he gushed about

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Speaker 2: you to us, about and lovely and nice you were.

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Speaker 2: He never said anything like that to you.

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Speaker 4: No. I mean even when I was in the middle

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Speaker 4: of a story. I was telling him about my vacation

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Speaker 4: to Europe, and he got up in the middle of

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Speaker 4: it and went picked up a nap and somebody else

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Speaker 4: dropped at another table.

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Speaker 1: He's almost like gonna sound funny, He's almost like.

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Speaker 2: Too nice guy. Do you think she cares about things

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Speaker 2: that she does? Like guys think girls are impressed by

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Speaker 2: those things, not just listening to them.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, and like even at the end he held the

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Speaker 4: door open for someone else and then went out behind them,

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Speaker 4: not holding the door for me.

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Speaker 1: And what the heck do you think?

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Speaker 2: Here's the thing? Obviously he's a kind person. Do you

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Speaker 2: think that he was just nervous and maybe that's why

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Speaker 2: those things didn't happen for you?

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Speaker 4: He didn't seem nervous and he was super nice, polite,

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Speaker 4: talkative with everyone else.

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Speaker 1: Okay, okay, but a lot of times guys don't want to, like,

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Speaker 1: seem too desperate in front of a girl and won't

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Speaker 1: say the thing that they're feeling because they don't make

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Speaker 1: them seem you know, beta, which which is a thing.

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Speaker 1: It's a complex that guys have, and.

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Speaker 2: That's why they slammed doors in their face.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, but maybe he was just in his own head

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Speaker 1: too much and we should probably ask him about it.

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Speaker 1: Because Bobby is waiting on the other wanting to compliment

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Speaker 1: you profusely. I'm sorry, what, Yeah, he's been listening to

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Speaker 1: this call. Bobby.

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Speaker 3: You're there, a smooth Bobby.

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Speaker 1: Anything you want to say to her?

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Speaker 3: Tory, you didn't like all those excellent things I did.

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Speaker 1: Set you up? There.

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Speaker 4: I mean, what was the point of me being there

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Speaker 4: if you weren't going to give any attention or participate

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Speaker 4: in the date at all.

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Speaker 3: I mean, you didn't really give me a lot of

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Speaker 3: attention after the date, you know, I gave you a

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Speaker 3: lot of texts and calls and stuff.

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Speaker 4: Why would I do that, give attention to someone who

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Speaker 4: clearly didn't have the time of day for me.

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Speaker 3: No, that's that's really that's toy. That's not it. Okay.

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Speaker 1: So basically, Bobby, wait, wait, hold on, are you sure

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Speaker 1: you want to do this? Yeah, just like apologize and

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Speaker 1: compliment her.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, But like you guys want me to lie there,

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Speaker 3: I don't want to lie there. I gotta be honest.

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Speaker 1: We say, compliment her, that's a lie.

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Speaker 4: Go for it.

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Speaker 1: Then clear your chest, man, Then go for it.

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Speaker 4: Bobby, what do you have to tell me? But can't

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Speaker 4: hurry up? I've got things to do, Okay.

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Speaker 3: Okay, So, like I live by these these philosophical rules,

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Speaker 3: all of which you don't really need to know about.

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Speaker 3: But basically, like I was, I was trying to demonstrate

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Speaker 3: value and be excellent for you two other people. You know,

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Speaker 3: maybe it came off as like I didn't care about you.

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Speaker 3: But I was like trying to do these things to

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Speaker 3: show you what I am capable of, like my potential

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Speaker 3: and stuff. I can pick up a napkins, yes, yeah, exactly,

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Speaker 3: I can pick up a napkin so fast.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, right now, I don't even know what you're talking

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Speaker 4: about right now, Like, all you have to do is

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Speaker 4: ask me questions and listen and compliment.

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Speaker 2: That is a lot to ask for.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, that is the thing is complimented kind of goes

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Speaker 1: against the philosophy that he believes in.

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Speaker 2: So no, that would be part of being excellent.

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Speaker 1: No, I'd be breaking desireless. But yeah, but you do that.

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Speaker 2: He said after the first date. See, this is the

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Speaker 2: whole thing with rules, Like they get so complicated. Why

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Speaker 2: don't you just be a normal human and have a

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Speaker 2: good conversation.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, let's get rid of laws too.

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Speaker 2: Jeff, that doesn't no structure.

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Speaker 3: I think I know what she's talking about. I think

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Speaker 3: she just doesn't like people who do good things.

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Speaker 2: No, No, here's a question, Tory. If he would have

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Speaker 2: done those things for the other people and also listened

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Speaker 2: and complimented you and asked you questions, how would you

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Speaker 2: have felt.

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Speaker 3: I mean, it would have been better.

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Speaker 4: But I'm not sure why he needed to focus on

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Speaker 4: everything else except our date.

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Speaker 3: But I can't. I can't do all those things. I

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Speaker 3: was already tired doing the other stuff.

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Speaker 2: It's a lot, man, So it's one or the other

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Speaker 2: for you, Bob.

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Speaker 1: You're either fully thinking, strategizing, or you're doing nothing.

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Speaker 2: He's not a multitasker.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, like, I'm sorry for being excellent.

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Speaker 2: That's not the apology that she was stepped.

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Speaker 1: In before that. But the one thing that he is

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Speaker 1: focused on right now, Tori, his only focus is getting

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Speaker 1: another date with you. That is why he reached out

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Speaker 1: to a radio show to get a hold of you

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Speaker 1: and arrange a second meetup. And we would pay for

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Speaker 1: it if you're willing to give him a second chance.

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Speaker 4: I think I'm good. I don't want to be with

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Speaker 4: someone who just likes to grandstand.

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Speaker 1: But remember, Bobby's not good, he's excellent, so you could

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Speaker 1: level up.

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Speaker 2: I mean now, he knows right like now, the expectations

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Speaker 2: of what you're looking for are out there, like you

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Speaker 2: might as well give him a chance to make that happen.

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Speaker 4: Don't you think?

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Speaker 3: Yeah, I'm listening out. Look you're hot, and I'll pick

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Speaker 3: up your napkin and like you want me to ask

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Speaker 3: you questions? What are you doing next Friday? Let's get dinner.

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Speaker 2: That was actually the smoothest thing he's ever done.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, Tory, what do you think I'm gonna pass?

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Speaker 4: We did our best, honestly, he just he came on

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Speaker 4: way too strong at the end and.

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Speaker 2: Trying to him.

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Speaker 1: Oh, Bobby, you're back to square one, dude.

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Speaker 3: These rules just like don't work for some people, Like

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Speaker 3: I'm desireless, it doesn't work. I'm desireful, it doesn't work.

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Speaker 3: I'm excellent, I'm too excellent. I'm gone, I'm too gone.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, welcome to dating women, buddy.

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Speaker 2: It's gonna be a long road for nobody said too

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Speaker 2: excellent but yourself.

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Speaker 1: Jeff in the morning, you know, after thousands of second

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Speaker 1: day calls, I'm starting to notice a trend. Sometimes men

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Speaker 1: don't listen very good.

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Speaker 2: Wait are you just now hearing that?

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Speaker 1: Yeah, I'm like thousands. I don't know if anybody saw this,

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Speaker 1: but even when guys get her like beating over the

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Speaker 1: head with good information, sometimes it just doesn't register for guys.

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Speaker 1: We're also sometimes information doesn't.

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Speaker 2: Register, like it's hard to sometimes change right what this guy?

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Speaker 1: Sorry?

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Speaker 2: What were you saying this guy was so like stuck

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Speaker 2: on his plan that when it was the problem, he

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Speaker 2: couldn't he could ship pivot.

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Speaker 1: What is Brook saying.

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Speaker 3: I don't know.

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Speaker 1: Next time you get angry at a man for not listening,

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Speaker 1: maybe turn your attention to God for making us that way.

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Speaker 2: It's icye, It's it's God's fault.

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Speaker 1: Thanks a lot God, God spot over here. But we

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Speaker 1: can put you into a good spot in your dating

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Speaker 1: life if you want some help with that. At least

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Speaker 1: we'll try email the show. We'll call that person who's

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Speaker 1: not calling you back.

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Speaker 2: And two out of the four of us will actually

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Speaker 2: hear what you said.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, maybe on a good day. I'm just happy to

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Speaker 1: be here. Go check out all of our Seconday podcast

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Speaker 1: wherever you get yours at Brook and

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Speaker 2: Jeffrey Brook and Jeffrey in the Morning.