WEBVTT - Second Date Update: Adult Swim Lessons

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<v Speaker 1>Second Date Update. Today's second date update is brought to

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<v Speaker 1>you by the letter Jay. Okay. Jay is for jazzy fingers.

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<v Speaker 1>Jay's also for halopano Oh, and Jay is also the

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<v Speaker 1>name of the guy who wants a second date update today.

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<v Speaker 1>All right, So congratulations on being the letter of the

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<v Speaker 1>day Jay. Wow. Yes, do you also love the number

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<v Speaker 1>three because that is our second sponsor? Wow, it's such

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<v Speaker 1>an honor. Tell us about the girl you want us

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<v Speaker 1>to call today, Jay, I want you to call Elizabeth. Elizabeth. Okay, yeah,

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<v Speaker 1>but it's kind of a funny story how we met too.

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<v Speaker 1>I actually met her while I was at my swim lesson.

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<v Speaker 1>I take adult swim classes. Okay. Usually when people say

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<v Speaker 1>it's a funny story, it's not. But that's kind of

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<v Speaker 1>a funny story. I'm not making fun of you, Jay.

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<v Speaker 1>I think it's rate that you're learning to swim. Thank you,

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<v Speaker 1>thank you. I just I never learned, you know. I

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<v Speaker 1>know a lot of people take lessons with their kids,

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<v Speaker 1>and it's just one of those things that my folks

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<v Speaker 1>never hook me up with. And I'm like, well, what

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<v Speaker 1>if I'm on a boat someday, you know, I don't

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<v Speaker 1>know how to swim either maybe you should take lessons

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<v Speaker 1>and meet the love of your life, like Elizabeth Go.

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<v Speaker 1>What was Elizabeth Roll? What was Elizabeth's role in the

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<v Speaker 1>swim lessons? I saw her while I was taking my lesson,

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<v Speaker 1>and she was there with what looks like a son

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<v Speaker 1>of hers, a small child, and she's really cute, really pretty.

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<v Speaker 1>I don't know why, it's a weird way to say it. Yeah,

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<v Speaker 1>all right, what looked to be a small child. Let me,

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<v Speaker 1>let me get to it. She was really cute and

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<v Speaker 1>I started talking to her, and as she was there

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<v Speaker 1>with her son, that was just kind of joking around

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<v Speaker 1>that his crawl stroke was better than mine, and that

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<v Speaker 1>got a good laugh, you know, kind of pressed the

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<v Speaker 1>ice a little bit. Yeah, it's funny because it's true.

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<v Speaker 1>I mean, but that's a risky move though, because if

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<v Speaker 1>someone has a son, usually the first assumption is there

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<v Speaker 1>all so married and people take rings off to go

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<v Speaker 1>swimming all the time, right. But fortunately after I made

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<v Speaker 1>that joke, she clarified that it was actually her nephew.

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<v Speaker 1>So in my mind I was like, oh, cool, no kids,

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<v Speaker 1>you've not taken no ring. I was like, I think

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<v Speaker 1>I'm in the clear here. Yeah, she's dropping a little

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<v Speaker 1>hint towards you exactly. You guys are meeting in your

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<v Speaker 1>bathing suits already, so you know what's on the table.

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<v Speaker 1>I mean, that's a good start to any relationship. They

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<v Speaker 1>got nothing to hide. And then in that moment too,

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<v Speaker 1>I made another joke. I was like, oh, that's really

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<v Speaker 1>good that I didn't have to lend the kid my

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<v Speaker 1>water wing. Oh man, you are coming with the joke.

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<v Speaker 1>Oh no, you gotta watch it. You can't do too many.

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<v Speaker 1>You're gonna joke your way out of a date here.

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<v Speaker 1>You might need to give me mouth to mouth after this. Okay,

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<v Speaker 1>when did you ask her out? How'd you do it?

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<v Speaker 1>You know? We got talking a little more after that,

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<v Speaker 1>and the conversation went so well. I stopped self deprecating

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<v Speaker 1>my swimming ability so much, and we set a date

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<v Speaker 1>for a few days after that. We went to a

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<v Speaker 1>really nice upscale bar. Dude, that's really cool. I mean,

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<v Speaker 1>you met someone in real life and they actually showed

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<v Speaker 1>up to a date. Doesn't happen. I know that is

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<v Speaker 1>a miracle. I don't know itself. Mars set very low

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<v Speaker 1>for us, obviously, So how did the date go? It

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<v Speaker 1>was fantastic. We started talking about everything, our jobs, our

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<v Speaker 1>families a little bit. You know. I mentioned that I

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<v Speaker 1>also I take a karate class too, because that was

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<v Speaker 1>another one of those classes. Sure you're not an eight

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<v Speaker 1>year old boy. Did you have a Jim Boree lesson

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<v Speaker 1>after this? No? No, no, I just like there were

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<v Speaker 1>there were things I always wanted to do when I

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<v Speaker 1>was younger, they didn't have a chance to. But now

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<v Speaker 1>I've got a little more independence, and you know, I'm

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<v Speaker 1>a grown man. I could do whatever I want. Okay,

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<v Speaker 1>I like it, yeah right, but no, honestly, that's sexy, right,

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<v Speaker 1>like you're doing something that you have always wanted to

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<v Speaker 1>do and actually like seeing it through. Yeah, that's a

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<v Speaker 1>great way to look at it, Brooke. And then after dinner,

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<v Speaker 1>you know, we took a little walk around the park

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<v Speaker 1>and when we were there, I saw this huge group

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<v Speaker 1>of pigeons and it was just a majestic and we

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<v Speaker 1>both had a couple of Did you just describe pigeons

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<v Speaker 1>as majestic? It's fine. Absolutely when you see like hundreds

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<v Speaker 1>of birds that it just looked so cool, like all

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<v Speaker 1>huddled up there along the park now looking for food.

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<v Speaker 1>But we both had leftovers, so I just loved like,

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<v Speaker 1>trust me here, and I put the food down on

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<v Speaker 1>the bench and all the pigeons just start swarming over

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<v Speaker 1>to the bench. Oh my god, that sounds like my nightmare.

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<v Speaker 1>I don't like birds very I mean I like him

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<v Speaker 1>from Afar, but like being swarmed by birds is like

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<v Speaker 1>sounds terrible. Did she like that we were a safe

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<v Speaker 1>distance away? It's just kind of like a really cool

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<v Speaker 1>sight to see, you know, okay? And I actually looked

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<v Speaker 1>over at her and I couldn't quite tell if she

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<v Speaker 1>thought it was as cool of a site as I did.

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<v Speaker 1>Maybe she was mad that I gave that leftovers away,

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<v Speaker 1>So you think the do you think the mood switched

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<v Speaker 1>when the pigeons got fed? I mean it was good food,

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<v Speaker 1>so that's why the pigeons loved it so much. Clearly,

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<v Speaker 1>end of the night, though, we hugged. I gave her

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<v Speaker 1>a kiss on the cheek and that was it. You know.

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<v Speaker 1>I tried to call her the next day for a date.

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<v Speaker 1>I didn't hear anything back. Um. I did see her

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<v Speaker 1>at the pool again, but I didn't get to talk

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<v Speaker 1>to her because I think she might have saw me

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<v Speaker 1>and run away really fast with her nephew. So I

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<v Speaker 1>just don't know what's going on, you know, I other

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<v Speaker 1>than like that last moment, I thought it was a

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<v Speaker 1>really good night, and I'm really hoping I can get

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<v Speaker 1>another second date go. And you know, I think labeled

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<v Speaker 1>as the weird pigeon guy that she went out with.

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<v Speaker 1>I mean I've been called way worse than that, so

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<v Speaker 1>you know, I hope not. But it's all right with me.

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<v Speaker 1>All Right, Well, we're gonna play a song come back,

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<v Speaker 1>and we'll try and get you a second date update.

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<v Speaker 1>Hopefully it goes better than your swim lessons did. All right, Jay, awesome,

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<v Speaker 1>thank you drinning over here? All right, hold on, second date?

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<v Speaker 1>All right, We're gonna try and make the second date

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<v Speaker 1>update go quick because I know our listener Jay has

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<v Speaker 1>his nap time and we don't wanttice. Oh man, why

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<v Speaker 1>wish you give him some orange slices? You know, I'm

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<v Speaker 1>just messing around. Jay met a girl named Elizabeth while

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<v Speaker 1>taking his adult swim lessons because he never got the

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<v Speaker 1>chance to learn when he was growing up, and he

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<v Speaker 1>took her out to an upscale bar. Then they walked

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<v Speaker 1>around a park where they fed their leftovers to a

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<v Speaker 1>majestic flock of city pigeons. Okay, Well he fed the

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<v Speaker 1>leftovers to the pigeons. She just stood in horror, that's true,

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<v Speaker 1>but he had a great time doing it. He did

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<v Speaker 1>notice Elizabeth seemed a little unamused by all the pigeon feeding,

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<v Speaker 1>so he hasn't been able to reach her ever since. Then, Jay,

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<v Speaker 1>you're ready to do this. I am ready, and thank

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<v Speaker 1>you so much for helping me out with this. You know,

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<v Speaker 1>I really really enjoyed that date with her, and I

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<v Speaker 1>really hope I didn't mess things up, you know. Okay,

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<v Speaker 1>So if it turns out it was the pigeon issue,

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<v Speaker 1>like you're cool going out with a girl who maybe

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<v Speaker 1>isn't as fun as you in the bird world, I

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<v Speaker 1>will take the woman over the pigeon, all right, just

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<v Speaker 1>double check in you never know. It's a bold move, Jay, Yeah,

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<v Speaker 1>all right, Well we're gonna give her a call an

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<v Speaker 1>attempt to get your second date update. All right, awesome,

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<v Speaker 1>let's do it. Here we go. Hello, Hi, can I

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<v Speaker 1>speak to Elizabeth? Please? Does this her? May? Ask? Who's calling? Yeah,

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<v Speaker 1>this is young Jeffrey from the radio show Broken Jeffrey

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<v Speaker 1>in the Morning. Okay, okay, have you heard of the

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<v Speaker 1>show before? Elizabeth I mean I can't say that I have. Well,

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<v Speaker 1>you sound pleasant, so I feel like you should start listening. Okay,

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<v Speaker 1>all right, have a great day. Bye bye. Why are

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<v Speaker 1>you calling? We're doing something called a second date update.

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<v Speaker 1>Have you ever heard of that? Oh? No, I haven't. Basically,

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<v Speaker 1>it's a segment that we do where if you've gone

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<v Speaker 1>out on a date with someone and they're not calling

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<v Speaker 1>you back, we can give that person a call and

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<v Speaker 1>try and figure out the reason why. All right, all right,

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<v Speaker 1>so you recently went up with the guy named Jay

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<v Speaker 1>and you're not calling him back? Oh? Yeah, yeah? Um?

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah he was sweet. Is that a question? I think

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<v Speaker 1>as much as you can give us. I mean, he

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<v Speaker 1>seemed like a nice guy to us, for sure. No,

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<v Speaker 1>he's very sweet. I just it was kind of awkward,

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<v Speaker 1>what seeing him in the water floaties? He told us

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<v Speaker 1>that you met during his adult swim class. You know,

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<v Speaker 1>we did. I kind of thought it was cute. He

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<v Speaker 1>took me to this nice bar. It was fun. Why

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<v Speaker 1>are you ending everything up? Yeah? You can tell by

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<v Speaker 1>the tone of her voice that it wasn't. Yes, I

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<v Speaker 1>don't know what's gonna happen. He was very nice. That's

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<v Speaker 1>always a brutal. I mean, because it usually means that

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<v Speaker 1>you're not attracted to him. But you saw him in

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<v Speaker 1>his swimsuit. I mean he asked you out half naked

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<v Speaker 1>and you were cool. Then like what turned you off?

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<v Speaker 1>So I go to the bathroom at the bar and

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<v Speaker 1>he's talking to this woman, like this older woman, and

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<v Speaker 1>she's kind of tussling his hair and like texting. His

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<v Speaker 1>collar was kind of weird. I like took no, but like, okay, whatever.

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<v Speaker 1>So I go up to him, like after they finished

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<v Speaker 1>a little conversation, put tend like I don't see anything.

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<v Speaker 1>And then at one point something happens and he tells

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<v Speaker 1>me he needs to text his friend, and so he

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<v Speaker 1>sends like a little text message out into the universe

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<v Speaker 1>and who gets it but the woman sitting at the

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<v Speaker 1>end of the bar. Wait, whoa girl? Well, not a girl,

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<v Speaker 1>like a woman, like a woman. So wait did you

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<v Speaker 1>ask it? I mean, like that could just be coincidence,

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<v Speaker 1>right that this woman got I mean maybe not. Your

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<v Speaker 1>intuition is probably yeah, who do you think she is? Well,

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<v Speaker 1>at first I thought she was just like older lady,

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<v Speaker 1>like hitting on him, And then after the text message,

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<v Speaker 1>I looked a little closer she looked a lot like him,

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<v Speaker 1>like related like him. So what you think his mom

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<v Speaker 1>was on the day and she was fixing his hair

0:10:13.880 --> 0:10:16.800
<v Speaker 1>and fixing his collar like. I can't be positive that

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<v Speaker 1>it was her, but they sure did look alike and

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<v Speaker 1>they definitely had like some sort of connection. Oh my god, Oh,

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<v Speaker 1>don't you want to know? I want to know. I'm dying. Yeah,

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<v Speaker 1>let's be positive, Jay, was that your mom? What? Jay's

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<v Speaker 1>on the other line. He's been listening during this whole conversation.

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<v Speaker 1>Oh no, okay, Ja, Yeah, I'm here, Hi Elizabeth, Okay, Hi?

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<v Speaker 1>Um cool? Oh god, I'm so embarrassed. Jeez. I love

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<v Speaker 1>him to ask him, ask him who the woman was?

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<v Speaker 1>Was that your mom? Yeah? Yourself on our date. Look,

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<v Speaker 1>I can explain, Okay. I did not invite her. Okay,

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<v Speaker 1>it was not my fault. So I have a good

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<v Speaker 1>relationship with my mom, you know, clearly, Okay. So I

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<v Speaker 1>asked her for a place to go. She actually recommended

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<v Speaker 1>the restaurant, and I said, cool, thank you so much.

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<v Speaker 1>Didn't think anything of it. But then she surprised me

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<v Speaker 1>by showing up at the bar. I didn't tell her

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<v Speaker 1>to do that. Wow. Really, Oh man, I don't know, man,

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<v Speaker 1>do you believe him, Elizabeth? I mean, the kid takes

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<v Speaker 1>karate classes. I don't know. You're like an adult swim

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<v Speaker 1>and you take karate. Your mom's on your date with you?

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<v Speaker 1>What is going on? Jay? He just showed up. I

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<v Speaker 1>didn't tell her to go. In fact, when I was

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<v Speaker 1>texting her, I had already told her to please leave.

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<v Speaker 1>You're like, Mom, don't come until eight o'clock, then you

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<v Speaker 1>can pick me up. I didn't think you'd noticed that

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<v Speaker 1>she was there. I'm so sorry to stick around through

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<v Speaker 1>the whole date. Yes she did. Oh yeah, but okay,

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<v Speaker 1>wait listen, no, Elizabeth, to his credit, his mom's actions

0:12:24.920 --> 0:12:28.000
<v Speaker 1>are not within his control. Okay. And he obviously left

0:12:28.040 --> 0:12:29.760
<v Speaker 1>and went on a walk because he wanted to get

0:12:29.760 --> 0:12:31.880
<v Speaker 1>away from the woman who was probably following you on

0:12:31.880 --> 0:12:34.880
<v Speaker 1>a trail somewhere. But you know that's also not his

0:12:34.960 --> 0:12:39.240
<v Speaker 1>faults of the pigeons. I mean, I thought the romantic

0:12:39.320 --> 0:12:42.520
<v Speaker 1>walk would be nice, but I also, yes, like part

0:12:42.520 --> 0:12:46.160
<v Speaker 1>of the plan was I figured my mother wouldn't literally

0:12:46.200 --> 0:12:49.920
<v Speaker 1>go chasing us down on a private walk. I'm so sorry,

0:12:50.000 --> 0:12:52.320
<v Speaker 1>but if we go on a second date, I promise

0:12:52.400 --> 0:12:55.559
<v Speaker 1>you I am bringing you flowers and I am making

0:12:55.559 --> 0:12:59.000
<v Speaker 1>sure my mother does not know anything about this plan.

0:12:59.640 --> 0:13:02.960
<v Speaker 1>It'll in you. That is not what I wanted for

0:13:03.000 --> 0:13:08.160
<v Speaker 1>you to experience. I'm so sorry about that, right um,

0:13:09.040 --> 0:13:14.440
<v Speaker 1>I mean that was just like a lot. But listen,

0:13:14.480 --> 0:13:18.520
<v Speaker 1>you got a guy here who is very confident, I mean,

0:13:18.559 --> 0:13:22.280
<v Speaker 1>admits to adult swim lessons, knows how to have a

0:13:22.320 --> 0:13:25.000
<v Speaker 1>good relationship with his mom, and is already setting boundaries

0:13:25.000 --> 0:13:28.440
<v Speaker 1>with her. So that is a good sign, right sure? Yeah,

0:13:28.440 --> 0:13:30.440
<v Speaker 1>And on the bright side, you and Jay's mom could

0:13:30.520 --> 0:13:33.439
<v Speaker 1>chat pool side while him and your nephew take the

0:13:33.520 --> 0:13:37.640
<v Speaker 1>lessons together. It could be a bonding experience for everyone.

0:13:37.160 --> 0:13:41.680
<v Speaker 1>You know, I'm not really sure if that's like a

0:13:41.880 --> 0:13:47.280
<v Speaker 1>positive for me. I promise you if we go out again,

0:13:47.600 --> 0:13:49.360
<v Speaker 1>I'm going to pull out all the stops for you.

0:13:49.400 --> 0:13:51.080
<v Speaker 1>We can. We can do whatever you want. You can

0:13:51.120 --> 0:13:53.040
<v Speaker 1>even I have a guest pass. You can come to

0:13:53.120 --> 0:13:59.000
<v Speaker 1>my karate class. You know. Oh look at that. What

0:13:59.040 --> 0:14:01.840
<v Speaker 1>do you say, elizab bit, why don't you go out

0:14:01.840 --> 0:14:05.240
<v Speaker 1>with Jay again? We'll pay for another date. We'll pay

0:14:05.280 --> 0:14:07.840
<v Speaker 1>for the karate class in case the guest path doesn't work.

0:14:09.720 --> 0:14:18.880
<v Speaker 1>I guess sure, why not? Really that's so true, is um? Wait. Sorry,

0:14:19.080 --> 0:14:25.840
<v Speaker 1>I don't know how I'm changing my mind. Oh, Elizabeth, Yes,

0:14:26.120 --> 0:14:28.960
<v Speaker 1>what do you mean you're changing your mind? I mean,

0:14:29.080 --> 0:14:30.560
<v Speaker 1>I don't know why. I just kind of started like

0:14:30.680 --> 0:14:34.120
<v Speaker 1>thinking about it, and then just the whole karate outfits thing,

0:14:34.240 --> 0:14:36.360
<v Speaker 1>and I that's not really like where I want my

0:14:36.440 --> 0:14:39.800
<v Speaker 1>dates to be going. Cancel the karate. We can do

0:14:39.840 --> 0:14:41.800
<v Speaker 1>anything else, I promise. Yeah, you guys can do t

0:14:41.960 --> 0:14:45.960
<v Speaker 1>ball instead. You guys aren't helping. Okay, I don't know

0:14:46.000 --> 0:14:49.600
<v Speaker 1>what to say. I'm helping an adult thing, you know. Yeah, Elizabeth,

0:14:49.640 --> 0:14:51.600
<v Speaker 1>do you want to do adult stuff with Jay? We'll

0:14:51.640 --> 0:14:57.640
<v Speaker 1>pay for it. So it's really whatever. I'm okay, I'm good.

0:14:58.400 --> 0:15:03.040
<v Speaker 1>So that's a no. No. I'm sorry. But like Jay,

0:15:03.120 --> 0:15:05.480
<v Speaker 1>maybe you can tell your mom that she can help

0:15:05.520 --> 0:15:09.040
<v Speaker 1>you find somebody else. I love my mom, but I'm

0:15:09.040 --> 0:15:13.080
<v Speaker 1>not asking her Freddy help at this time. All right, Jay, Well,

0:15:13.160 --> 0:15:15.280
<v Speaker 1>I'm sorry we couldn't get you a second date update,

0:15:15.320 --> 0:15:17.240
<v Speaker 1>but we're going to open up the text board right now.

0:15:17.520 --> 0:15:19.640
<v Speaker 1>Text in seven eight, five nine two. If there's a

0:15:19.720 --> 0:15:22.720
<v Speaker 1>lady out there looking for a guy who's really into

0:15:22.840 --> 0:15:28.040
<v Speaker 1>karate and takes adult swim We've found your unicorn. Jay

0:15:28.160 --> 0:15:31.200
<v Speaker 1>is here for you, Brooke and Jeffrey in the morning.

0:15:31.520 --> 0:15:35.080
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