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Speaker 1: This is How Men Think with brooks Like and Gavin

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Speaker 1: de gra and I Hear Radio podcast. Welcome to another

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Speaker 1: episode of How Men Think. My name is brooks Like,

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Speaker 1: and we have no Gavin DeGraw today, we have no Rick,

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Speaker 1: we have no Dmitri, but we have the one and

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Speaker 1: only the legendary Mr Ryan O'Dell with that's Ryding's shotgun.

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Speaker 1: What's up, Brian? Ah, it's it's so refreshing to trim

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Speaker 1: the fat and just have the two of us right here,

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Speaker 1: to eliminate the dead weight and allow the cream to

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Speaker 1: rise to the top. And here we are. Brooks You're

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Speaker 1: in Idaho, I believe. Is that correct? I don't know,

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Speaker 1: I agreat cryptic. Yes, yeah, I'm I'm an Idaho. You

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Speaker 1: are in l A. That is correct. You have quite

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Speaker 1: the growth on your face right now, so have you?

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Speaker 1: Judging by the looks of you, you've completely given up

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Speaker 1: on life and they don't care how you look to

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Speaker 1: the outside world. Is that accurate? I'm social distancing, my friend.

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Speaker 1: It does not matter what I look like to the

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Speaker 1: outside world right now. Um. But honestly, dude, up in Idaho,

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Speaker 1: this would be like a junior beard. This would be

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Speaker 1: like a starter kit beard up here. The boys up

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Speaker 1: here runs some long beards, like they're like four or

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Speaker 1: five years deep on these things, So I'm way behind.

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Speaker 1: Have you grown that out longer than that during the

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Speaker 1: NHL like playoff days? No, this is the longest. There

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Speaker 1: is the longest I've ever had my beard. I'm keeping

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Speaker 1: it just to see where it goes. Who knows. I've

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Speaker 1: trimmed it a couple of times, like, trimmed it up

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Speaker 1: because it was getting wiry and bushy, um and just

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Speaker 1: like just ridiculous looking. But I trimmed it up a

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Speaker 1: couple of times. But I don't know if I've ever

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Speaker 1: seen you with the beard. You have to be clean

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Speaker 1: shaven for work, No, I don't. I just don't want

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Speaker 1: to ever look like you choose to um try to

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Speaker 1: portray an image of about himself and not someone who's

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Speaker 1: given up on life. And I mean it's quite the look.

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Speaker 1: You look like the UNI bomber in many ways, which

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Speaker 1: is interesting. I don't even know what he looks like.

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Speaker 1: Your hair is very wafty right now, though, I hope,

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Speaker 1: I hope Danielle took a picture for our Instagram. Oh

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Speaker 1: I did. Don't you worry to put you could put

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Speaker 1: him up and put a side by side with Jim

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Speaker 1: Carey from ace Ventura because he's got that part with

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Speaker 1: the big waft going to the other side. It's very um,

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Speaker 1: it's uh, it's a problem. Look, look, this is I

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Speaker 1: am a casualty of the quarantine and the COVID stay

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Speaker 1: at home lockdown where you can't get haircuts. So we're

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Speaker 1: just we're growing it out and this is what it is.

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Speaker 1: You know. I like it. I dig it. D um.

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Speaker 1: By the way, are you so right now Ryan and

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Speaker 1: I are doing this phone call on zoom. Are you

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Speaker 1: standing at a stand up desk? Because I see you wiggling.

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Speaker 1: It doesn't look like you are in a chair. I

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Speaker 1: am anna stand up desk. You are in a chair,

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Speaker 1: as to be expected. That is a beta. Move on,

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Speaker 1: your behalf. I'm an alpha, of course, who chooses to

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Speaker 1: be in a dominant position as you and the beta's

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Speaker 1: sit down behind the desk. I stand, uh and yes

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Speaker 1: here I am at a stand up desk. I bought

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Speaker 1: this when we were all sent home for the quarantine,

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Speaker 1: and I yeah, that's fine. So I love you man,

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Speaker 1: You're You're hilarious to me. And here's the thing. About

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Speaker 1: alpha's is alpha's never have to tell people their alpha's.

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Speaker 1: Everybody can sense that the alpha is the alpha. But

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Speaker 1: when when somebody starts talking that they're the alpha, it

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Speaker 1: means they are trying to prove something in Alpha's don't

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Speaker 1: have to prove something, Brooks. Let me tell you something.

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Speaker 1: A wolf does not concern himself with the opinion of sheep. Okay,

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Speaker 1: I know you put that on my post the other

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Speaker 1: day when I said some some wolves lead sheep and

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Speaker 1: other wolves lead wolves. Um, but it's good to see

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Speaker 1: your face, man, haven't seen for a long time. UM.

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Speaker 1: And today's discussion we're gonna get into sex and quarantine,

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Speaker 1: sex and whether or not people are feeling sexual during

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Speaker 1: this time or feeling not sexual during this time. We

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Speaker 1: have a special guest coming on with us as well. UM.

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Speaker 1: But I want to leave it up to you, brother.

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Speaker 1: The topic of this is kind of you wanted to

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Speaker 1: share your story with what I'm in Idaho, so I

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Speaker 1: don't have much to say about this. My wife's back

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Speaker 1: in l A. I mean, not much of that going

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Speaker 1: on right here, UM, but I want to leave it

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Speaker 1: up to you and share your story with how it's

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Speaker 1: going for you. You wanted to open up and um

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Speaker 1: discuss what your personal relationship was like during this time,

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Speaker 1: because I know for a lot of people it's been

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Speaker 1: very difficult. Yeah, and by the way, I will share

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Speaker 1: where I am. But just because you are in isolation

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Speaker 1: in Idaho and Julianna's in isolation in l A doesn't

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Speaker 1: mean you're off the hook. I have questions for you

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Speaker 1: as well, so I will begin. Look, it's it's more

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Speaker 1: of the same for me in the sense of, like

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Speaker 1: what I've always said, the struggle is um is making

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Speaker 1: time for one another. And there's no no greater challenge

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Speaker 1: than now when you have no childcare so you don't

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Speaker 1: have school. They're all closed, our child care, our nanny

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Speaker 1: who was part time, uh she has three kids of

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Speaker 1: her own, and we've all tried to do the socially

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Speaker 1: responsible thing, which is to stay home and keep the

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Speaker 1: circle closed. And and I'm also trying to work a

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Speaker 1: full time, full time job remotely. Uh so really we're

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Speaker 1: we're in survival mode. It's it's almost as if we're

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Speaker 1: in the same position we were when we had our

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Speaker 1: second child, which is like, unfortunately your sexual desires are

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Speaker 1: kind of put on the back burner in many ways

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Speaker 1: to just trying to navigate the rigors of a daily routine.

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Speaker 1: And that that begins for us at four fifteen in

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Speaker 1: the morning. One of us is getting up because our

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Speaker 1: our six month old is has been waking up at

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Speaker 1: like four thirty five, so we have to get up

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Speaker 1: heat the bottle. Uh. And then it it continues on

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Speaker 1: until we put them down around six five at night.

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Speaker 1: So you're on for about fourteen hours and we're trying

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Speaker 1: to trade off, and I'm trying to carve out time

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Speaker 1: during the day to give my wife a little bit

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Speaker 1: of a break. And um, all that is to say

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Speaker 1: that unless the two kids miraculously are taking their naps

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Speaker 1: in a similar time frame and there's some sort of overlap,

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Speaker 1: there's really no option to two to have sex with

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Speaker 1: one another. And and I know I'm gonna get crucified

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Speaker 1: saying you have to make time. What about at the

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Speaker 1: end of the day. Yes, I will tell you, Brooks,

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Speaker 1: at the end of the day, You're absolutely right, when

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Speaker 1: we finally put the kids down, that is the time

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Speaker 1: that technically we could be intimate with one another. But

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Speaker 1: reality is this, we are so fried by the end

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Speaker 1: of the day. Once we finally put the kids down.

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Speaker 1: We literally every day high five one another and hug

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Speaker 1: each other and we're like, oh my god, we did it.

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Speaker 1: And then we have a cocktail, we have our dinner,

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Speaker 1: we watched Tiger King, and by the end of that

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Speaker 1: we're ready to go to bed because we got to

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Speaker 1: get up at four fifteen the next morning. So it's

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Speaker 1: really like, um, it's it's easier said than done. It's

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Speaker 1: not to say that we haven't had opportunities and capitalize

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Speaker 1: on them, but it's it's not It's not easy. Yeah, dude,

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Speaker 1: I wanna first off, I want to commend you for sharing,

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Speaker 1: because that's real talk. Like that's what we want to

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Speaker 1: do on this on this podcast, is have real discussions

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Speaker 1: that that don't tiptoe around issues and we actually dive

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Speaker 1: right into them. And so I want to command you

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Speaker 1: for sharing that, and anybody who out there would be

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Speaker 1: wanting to crucify you for saying that. I mean, it's

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Speaker 1: it's real life, like it's And another thing that you

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Speaker 1: said in there is like, if they do more accuracy,

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Speaker 1: take a nap. At the same time, you're still working

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Speaker 1: a full time job right now, so are you in

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Speaker 1: the meeting can you get away? Are you on a

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Speaker 1: zoom call? Are you doing this podcast? Are you busy?

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Speaker 1: Are you distracted? Are you working on something for all

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Speaker 1: of those stars to align to have a little brief

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Speaker 1: period like that? I mean, you might as well buy

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Speaker 1: a lottery ticket almost. Um, so I don't I I

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Speaker 1: empathize with you, man, kids like I just have a dog,

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Speaker 1: and a dog is a lot um. I can't imagine

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Speaker 1: for people that don't haven't listened to the show or

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Speaker 1: new to the show, you have a six month old

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Speaker 1: and a two and a half year old, right, that's right? Yeah,

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Speaker 1: And so being at home working a full time job,

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Speaker 1: trying to help your wife out. Your wife is looking

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Speaker 1: after the kids all day long. You're trying to help

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Speaker 1: her out. I can imagine you guys are just exhausted

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Speaker 1: by six o'clock and you you can't take the kids

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Speaker 1: anywhere too. There there's nowhere you can go. So you're

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Speaker 1: really confined to your home. And you know Amy has

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Speaker 1: said to me, and Amy's perfect world, she said, well,

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Speaker 1: why what about when you put the kids down? Like

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Speaker 1: you can't have sex? Then it's like, yeah, okay, I

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Speaker 1: mean I guess you're right, Like technically, because as I

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Speaker 1: said to you, like go through in one of our

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Speaker 1: days of fourteen hours being on on on, dealing with

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Speaker 1: all that, and like you just get to the point

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Speaker 1: where you're you're now you're hungry. You haven't had to

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Speaker 1: have a meal, get a meal all day where you

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Speaker 1: sat down without a kid hanging on you or responsibilities

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Speaker 1: that you were trying to like adhere to in the

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Speaker 1: middle of your meal. So there's something refreshing about just

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Speaker 1: sitting next to each other on the couch and turning

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Speaker 1: on an episode of something, uh, and and just relaxing.

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Speaker 1: So okay, buddy, Well for you, my friend, to help

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Speaker 1: with this issue and help everybody out there, everybody else

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Speaker 1: out there with this issue. Um, we have a special

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Speaker 1: guest for you, Oh excited, special guests gonna solve all

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Speaker 1: of your problems. Brother. I would like to welcome to

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Speaker 1: the show, miss Stephanie wolf Stephanie, are you there? Hi? Guys,

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Speaker 1: I did your show a couple of months ago, remember

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Speaker 1: in the overs Hotel. Yeah, but it's good to see

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Speaker 1: your face. So we have Dusty and Stephanie Wolfe with

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Speaker 1: us today. Um, and Dustin's step It got you step

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Speaker 1: But Dustin was on talking about the rocket. If you

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Speaker 1: guys listened about the Rocket a couple of months ago

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Speaker 1: we aired that show, um, which Ryan, you weren't there

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Speaker 1: for that one, So I'd love for you to like, uh,

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Speaker 1: probably listened to it, but like stephaniely your Steph could

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Speaker 1: talk about it more. But the rocket to give you

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Speaker 1: more stronger libido. Um. But Steph, we would like to

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Speaker 1: get your insight. You are well known in dealing with UM,

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Speaker 1: correcting sexual hell issues and hormonal imbalances. Um, you're the

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Speaker 1: CEO of Nova's Anti aging Center. But really we're having

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Speaker 1: a discussion about why people in general and Ryan just

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Speaker 1: opened up and shared his story. Why people in general

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Speaker 1: and why Ryan, why we may be struggling with lack

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Speaker 1: of sexuality sexual drive um, during this really wild and

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Speaker 1: chaotic time. So I'd love to get your expertise on

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Speaker 1: what's going on with us, what's going on in the world.

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Speaker 1: Are we we now have more proximity to our partners

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Speaker 1: than ever and why is that actually leading to a

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Speaker 1: lack of sexual drive? Well, you know it's funny because

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Speaker 1: I'm seeing both sides of the story right now in

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Speaker 1: my clinic. I mean, we are still open a couple

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Speaker 1: of days of a week, and you know, one of

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Speaker 1: it is this is very stressful. This is the most

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Speaker 1: stressful event that will probably ever go through in our lives,

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Speaker 1: like in our lifetime if you actually think of at it.

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Speaker 1: So you know, people are losing their jobs, right, and

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Speaker 1: they're not making any money. They can't pay their rent

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Speaker 1: or their mortgage. They don't know how they're going to

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Speaker 1: make ends meet, and so a lot of that stress

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Speaker 1: is going to be placed on a relationship, right. And

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Speaker 1: so when you have that kind of stress on a relationship,

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Speaker 1: sex is the last thing you're thinking about for some men,

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Speaker 1: whereas in other men they actually they have a higher libido,

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Speaker 1: higher sex strife there, you know, more horny is what

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Speaker 1: I'm hearing when they are under a lot of stress.

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Speaker 1: So it's interesting because you do see both sides. And

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Speaker 1: that's really for anything, if you think about it. I mean,

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Speaker 1: that's we're all human here. But um, you know, all

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Speaker 1: the stress besides all the stress and trying to figure

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Speaker 1: out what what's coming up next. As far as you know,

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Speaker 1: nobody knows when we're going back to work. We can

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Speaker 1: all speculate and you know, no but he knows what

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Speaker 1: the economy is going to look like when we come

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Speaker 1: back to work. Of course we speculate and just overall

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Speaker 1: health and wellness. Right, so this is the time where

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Speaker 1: you know, people can actually start cooking at home and

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Speaker 1: enjoying each other and playing games, you know, actual board games,

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Speaker 1: remember those like back in the day board games. I

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Speaker 1: just get a new one the other night by yourself, Brooks.

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Speaker 1: Thank god. Um question for you, So Ryan, let me

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Speaker 1: ask you this. So I would say that I am

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Speaker 1: looking at that question. I would say that I probably

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Speaker 1: would lose my sex drive when stress ramps up, Yeah,

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Speaker 1: goes up, I would say, I probably my sex drive

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Speaker 1: would go down. Yeah. Um, that's just what I feel

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Speaker 1: right now. In the instance of this conversation, Ryan, what

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Speaker 1: do you think you would be and if stress goes up,

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Speaker 1: would your sex drive go down or up? I'm surprised

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Speaker 1: that you say that, Brooks, because you look very horny

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Speaker 1: right now, so you could have us I don't have

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Speaker 1: a lot of stress right now. It's hilarious. I would

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Speaker 1: say when stress goes up, yeah, the labido like that

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Speaker 1: all goes down because it's it's the last thing on

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Speaker 1: your mind. You're in, as I said, you're in survival

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Speaker 1: mode and when you're in survival mode. That's that has

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Speaker 1: nothing to do with survival. It's about like keeping your

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Speaker 1: family afloat, which is more important than your sex draw.

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Speaker 1: But it's interesting that you say that, because if you

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Speaker 1: think about survival mode, right, survival mode is about planting

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Speaker 1: your seed. Yeah. Right, So that's why some guys actually

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Speaker 1: have that higher sex strive. It's like their natural release

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Speaker 1: of kind of getting out, you know, their engst nous

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Speaker 1: from it. But what would you say the percentage of

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Speaker 1: guys who's whose libido goes up during stressful times and

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Speaker 1: what percentage goes down during stressful times. I have to

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Speaker 1: imagine that more there's a higher percentage of men whose

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Speaker 1: libido goes down when there's high stress in their life.

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Speaker 1: I would probably say, quite honestly, probably of the men

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Speaker 1: their libido goes down. Yeah. Yeah. And if you kind

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Speaker 1: of if you think about it, right, you know everything

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Speaker 1: is your testosterone. Let's let's kind of talk about sex

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Speaker 1: drive for a second. So sex drive actually comes from

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Speaker 1: testosterone production, right your brain. Your brain is actually responsible

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Speaker 1: for triggering this cascade of events to tell your body

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Speaker 1: to make testosterone. So you know, one thing I'll tell

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Speaker 1: guys is if you start affecting the way that the

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Speaker 1: brain works, like for instance, taking antidepressants, anti anxiety, antialeptics,

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Speaker 1: all those things are disrupting that communication in the brain.

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Speaker 1: So if you disrupt the communication, you're no longer triggering

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Speaker 1: that cascade of events to make testosterone. And you know,

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Speaker 1: there's two ways that we make testosterone. One is through

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Speaker 1: the adrenal glands, which adrenal glands are responsible for secreting cortisol.

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Speaker 1: Cortisols are stress hormone m The second way is through

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Speaker 1: the testicles. You know, if you think about where testosterone

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Speaker 1: is being made, right, it all comes from the brain,

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Speaker 1: and from the brain it's going to go to the

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Speaker 1: adrenal glands as one side, and then it's going to

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Speaker 1: go to the testicles for the other side. That's how

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Speaker 1: you guys make testosterone. So if you think about the

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Speaker 1: brain first, right, you've got to have that cascade of

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Speaker 1: events that actually trigger all of this. And so if

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Speaker 1: you're stressed, what's going to happen to your serotonin levels,

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Speaker 1: your dopamine or pephrin, right, all the feel good kind

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Speaker 1: of hormones, and then the adrenal glands are responsible for

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Speaker 1: making cortisol, and cortisol is your stress hormone. So you know,

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Speaker 1: if you're stressed and your adrenals are, you know, working

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Speaker 1: in overdress life, they're going to plummet. That court is

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Speaker 1: all level and then you're no longer making that testosterone

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Speaker 1: from that side too, So it's all kind of connected

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Speaker 1: if you think about it. So here's a question for you. UM.

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Speaker 1: I believe in men, our testosterone levels dropped during the

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Speaker 1: course of the day, correct, And that's why as athletes

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Speaker 1: we generally train earlier in the morning. Our testosterone levels

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Speaker 1: are higher. You have more energy, more more power output,

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Speaker 1: you get a better result from the energy you put

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Speaker 1: into your training. Yes, and that wanes over the course

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Speaker 1: of the day. That's why most almost all professional sports

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Speaker 1: train early in the morning. UM, testosterone levels are highest. Now,

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Speaker 1: is it would it be advisable with that to try

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Speaker 1: and prioritize sexual connection to have sex romance earlier in

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Speaker 1: the day rather than waiting till eight or nine o'clock

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Speaker 1: when our teston just by nature, by science, our testosterone

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Speaker 1: levels are lower. Yes. In fact, what I tell my

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Speaker 1: guys is that you're making all your test stosterone while

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Speaker 1: you're sleeping at night. So number one, if you're not

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Speaker 1: sleeping correctly because of stress or you know, whatever the

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Speaker 1: case may be, then you're not accumulating that testosterone. So yes,

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Speaker 1: your testosterone peaks first thing in the morning. This is

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Speaker 1: going to sound really crazy, but I live by it

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Speaker 1: and I swear by it. We had little kids who

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Speaker 1: are now grown, you know, they're adults, but when they

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Speaker 1: were little, we would actually set an alarm and we

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Speaker 1: would wake up an hour early in the morning so

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Speaker 1: that we had time for us in the morning, because

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Speaker 1: that's when we're well rested. Number One, you're not thinking

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Speaker 1: about anything, and his testosterone is the highest. Don't forget

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Speaker 1: about us too though. I mean we make testosterone as well.

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Speaker 1: We're sleeping. So is that the same or females are

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Speaker 1: they the same as men's or coincide that yours is

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Speaker 1: as high in the Yes? Exactly, Yeah, so kind of

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Speaker 1: same idea. I have a question for Brooks and Steph you.

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Speaker 1: I'm curious if you can help him or help a

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Speaker 1: weigh in on this, which is Brooks to recap is

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Speaker 1: in isolation and quarantine himself in his property in Idaho.

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Speaker 1: Julian and his wife is in l A. So Brooks.

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Speaker 1: How have you been managing being a part? How are

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Speaker 1: you remaining connected? Are you are you zooming? Are you

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Speaker 1: having phone sex? Are you just helping yourself to yourself?

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Speaker 1: And Rosie palms like, what are we? What are we?

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Speaker 1: So to be honest, my day, I wake up at

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Speaker 1: probably five thirty. Um, my dog is up. I'm up

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Speaker 1: at five thirty, I'm and I have a quick bowl

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Speaker 1: of cereal or eat breakfast something whatever. And then I've

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Speaker 1: been out in the yard at like six thirty seven

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Speaker 1: o'clock every morning. And I've been working on my property

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Speaker 1: for the last three weeks. And I work from about

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Speaker 1: seven am until about five thirty six pm. And just

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Speaker 1: like I have ten and a half acres up here.

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Speaker 1: It's Idaho bush, and I am just like cleaning this

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Speaker 1: place and giving it love that it's never had in

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Speaker 1: the six years that I've owned it, and just like

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Speaker 1: making it, like building rock walls, cutting down trees, clearing brush,

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Speaker 1: all kinds of stuff. And by the time I get

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Speaker 1: in from that, I am and then I cook supper

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Speaker 1: because I'm here by myself, so I'll cook supper. And

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Speaker 1: then at like eight o'clock I put a fire on

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Speaker 1: and I'm exhausted man, Like it's it's probably the same

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Speaker 1: as what you're feeling Ryan, when the day is done,

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Speaker 1: I am freaking exhausted, and at that point, like I

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Speaker 1: do not have a lot of sexual charge. Like truthfully,

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Speaker 1: I just like I'm exhausted, I'm toast. All I'm thinking about,

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Speaker 1: Like let me just mindlessly watch something for thirty minutes

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Speaker 1: and go to bed and wake up and do it again.

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Speaker 1: So we wake up. Though, when your test saucer and

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Speaker 1: is at the highest, you you immediately get outside into

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Speaker 1: the idahoe bush and that's how you rocking and rolling. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: to be honest, I would in this time, during this

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Speaker 1: quarantine time. I mean it's different because I'm not I

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Speaker 1: don't have proximity to my wife right now. I'm not

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Speaker 1: right in the same room with her. But I would

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Speaker 1: say that while it's also just a focus of like

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Speaker 1: what I'm doing here, what I have going on in

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Speaker 1: my life, that my sex drive right now wouldn't be

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Speaker 1: at its peak. Yeah, you know, so it's it's but

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Speaker 1: I'm thinking about this, like why do going back to

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Speaker 1: what we spoke about earlier, Steph, Like when stress comes,

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Speaker 1: why is like Ryan was talking about you try and

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Speaker 1: make sure your family is a float, try and like,

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Speaker 1: it's such a primal thing, sexual energy. Why is it

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Speaker 1: something that we so easily cast aside? Because our states

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Speaker 1: and our moods after having sex and having a connection

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Speaker 1: like that are probably as pure and as beautiful and

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Speaker 1: energetic as ever in our lives. So if we live

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Speaker 1: in that state all the time, you think that life

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Speaker 1: would be better. But why do we cast aside that?

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Speaker 1: Like just kind of like this once stress or anxiety

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Speaker 1: or or things come even like a yard work project

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Speaker 1: where I'm like, why do I not prioritize that? And

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Speaker 1: why is it so easy for men to just kind

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Speaker 1: of push to the backward? Quite honestly, I believe that

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Speaker 1: this is kind of like a society thing. I don't

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Speaker 1: know why, because, like you said, when we do have

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Speaker 1: intimate relations and you know, we're able to release, we

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Speaker 1: get this like euphoria sense, right, We got all these

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Speaker 1: hormones that are going this like antidepressant anti anxiety helps

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Speaker 1: with our sleep, helps with our mood. So I feel

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Speaker 1: like if we could just be reminded of that, and

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Speaker 1: you know, I try to talk to my patients like that,

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Speaker 1: I want you to remember how you feel when you

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Speaker 1: have that connection with your significant other, your partner or whatever,

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Speaker 1: and remember how good it actually feels. And so it's

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Speaker 1: almost like you're going to have to combat yourself and

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Speaker 1: what you know, society or what your brain is saying.

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Speaker 1: Because we're constantly in this like we gotta move, move, move,

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Speaker 1: we gotta do do do right. We have this like

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Speaker 1: laundry list of things that always are going to prevail

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Speaker 1: over sex, and so I think that we need to

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Speaker 1: take a step back and just remember that sex is

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Speaker 1: very important for a relationship. Not only that, but it's

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Speaker 1: very important for your mental health. It's very important for

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Speaker 1: all your good hormones. So you almost have to like

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Speaker 1: every day put it in front of it, you know,

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Speaker 1: and say, okay, we need to do this first, Like

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Speaker 1: this has to be done first. It's like prioritizing really right.

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Speaker 1: So it's it's like going to the gym. So you

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Speaker 1: know that you want to go to the gym because

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Speaker 1: it makes you feel good, and you feel good, you

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Speaker 1: look good, you perform better, so you prioritize that, right,

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Speaker 1: there's a time slot that you go to the gym

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Speaker 1: every day because that's your routine. You have to make

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Speaker 1: sex a routine. You have to prioritize it, you have

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Speaker 1: to put it in front of something. Yeah, how do

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Speaker 1: we go about doing that? So for people that are

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Speaker 1: core teamed at home right now together, couples that are together,

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Speaker 1: like you said you and your you said you and

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Speaker 1: Dustin used to set an alarm and wake up? Like,

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Speaker 1: what are some examples other than that or more along

427
00:24:12,800 --> 00:24:15,119
Speaker 1: that lines that you are aware of that maybe some

428
00:24:15,160 --> 00:24:18,240
Speaker 1: of your clients, people you know, are currently implementing in

429
00:24:18,280 --> 00:24:21,720
Speaker 1: their lives and actually having better sex or better connection

430
00:24:21,720 --> 00:24:24,960
Speaker 1: with their partner than ever before. Yeah. Well, and you

431
00:24:25,000 --> 00:24:27,840
Speaker 1: have to remember too, I understand people have the kids

432
00:24:27,840 --> 00:24:30,480
Speaker 1: at home right now right like the kids never leave,

433
00:24:30,880 --> 00:24:34,120
Speaker 1: So there's a lot of people that are having that

434
00:24:34,200 --> 00:24:37,080
Speaker 1: restriction of I don't know what to do. So you

435
00:24:37,160 --> 00:24:39,119
Speaker 1: do have to set your alarm because the kids aren't

436
00:24:39,280 --> 00:24:41,320
Speaker 1: They aren't going to leave. We're in quarantine right now.

437
00:24:41,640 --> 00:24:43,719
Speaker 1: What about like Ryan shared, he wakes up with him

438
00:24:43,760 --> 00:24:48,960
Speaker 1: and his wife wake up. We didn't hear. So, I mean,

439
00:24:49,200 --> 00:24:51,719
Speaker 1: I think it's all great in theory, and everyone can

440
00:24:51,760 --> 00:24:55,520
Speaker 1: crucify me for being the negative naysayer guy. Fine, I'll

441
00:24:55,520 --> 00:24:59,440
Speaker 1: own that. I think I'm the most real of anyone. Uh,

442
00:24:59,520 --> 00:25:02,320
Speaker 1: and by that I like, we have a six month

443
00:25:02,359 --> 00:25:03,560
Speaker 1: old and two and a half year old. The six

444
00:25:03,600 --> 00:25:05,960
Speaker 1: month old has been waking up at like four thirty,

445
00:25:06,119 --> 00:25:08,680
Speaker 1: so we my wife and I've been alternating like four

446
00:25:08,800 --> 00:25:11,359
Speaker 1: fifteen getting up to heat the bottle too, then go

447
00:25:11,440 --> 00:25:15,359
Speaker 1: get him because if we let him cry longer long

448
00:25:15,359 --> 00:25:18,439
Speaker 1: after he wakes up, then his given how close his

449
00:25:18,560 --> 00:25:19,920
Speaker 1: room is to my two and a half year olds

450
00:25:19,920 --> 00:25:22,280
Speaker 1: to wake him up, which will mean our entire day

451
00:25:22,280 --> 00:25:24,680
Speaker 1: with the two and a half year old is complete nightmare.

452
00:25:25,400 --> 00:25:28,560
Speaker 1: So we're waking up at four fifteen and just do

453
00:25:28,680 --> 00:25:31,399
Speaker 1: the math on like well, but but there's also a

454
00:25:31,400 --> 00:25:34,000
Speaker 1: science that says if you should try to get eight

455
00:25:34,080 --> 00:25:36,480
Speaker 1: hours of sleep, because if you get seven or six

456
00:25:36,560 --> 00:25:40,400
Speaker 1: or less than that, then your day is less impactful

457
00:25:40,440 --> 00:25:42,040
Speaker 1: than it could be. So there's all these things that

458
00:25:42,080 --> 00:25:44,320
Speaker 1: you're juggling, and my point is, like, what are we

459
00:25:44,359 --> 00:25:47,240
Speaker 1: gonna set our alarms for three thirty am? Is that

460
00:25:47,359 --> 00:25:49,880
Speaker 1: going to be something that we're gonna like wake up

461
00:25:49,960 --> 00:25:54,879
Speaker 1: thrilled to do? No, it's absolutely not. So has the

462
00:25:54,880 --> 00:25:56,600
Speaker 1: thought cross my mind of like when our two and

463
00:25:56,600 --> 00:25:58,600
Speaker 1: a half year olds taking a nap, having the six

464
00:25:58,640 --> 00:26:03,000
Speaker 1: month old, like in a baby Bjorn chair, things in

465
00:26:03,040 --> 00:26:05,560
Speaker 1: the room, but facing the corner and us having sex

466
00:26:05,600 --> 00:26:07,960
Speaker 1: with him with ear mops on looking at the corner. Yeah,

467
00:26:09,359 --> 00:26:10,879
Speaker 1: I don't think I could live with myself if I

468
00:26:10,920 --> 00:26:16,560
Speaker 1: do that, the emotional storring, I think eventually, But that's

469
00:26:16,600 --> 00:26:19,720
Speaker 1: the only solution I've come up with. Yeah, and sometimes

470
00:26:19,760 --> 00:26:21,919
Speaker 1: you have to get creative like that to be honest

471
00:26:22,000 --> 00:26:24,640
Speaker 1: with you. You know. It's like I even have patients

472
00:26:24,680 --> 00:26:28,359
Speaker 1: who they locked themselves in their closet, you know, for

473
00:26:28,560 --> 00:26:32,120
Speaker 1: like the ten minutes that they need. But that's something

474
00:26:32,160 --> 00:26:34,359
Speaker 1: that you know, we have to do this. We have

475
00:26:34,440 --> 00:26:37,480
Speaker 1: to have this connection. So we got to just figure

476
00:26:37,520 --> 00:26:40,200
Speaker 1: out how to make it happen. And you know, nobody's

477
00:26:40,280 --> 00:26:43,480
Speaker 1: looking for marathon sex, right Like this is just a

478
00:26:43,560 --> 00:26:46,960
Speaker 1: part connection. We're just looking for that connection so that

479
00:26:47,119 --> 00:26:50,040
Speaker 1: we stay together and so that during this quarantine time,

480
00:26:50,119 --> 00:26:52,399
Speaker 1: because that was one thing I was thinking, is Okay,

481
00:26:52,480 --> 00:26:55,160
Speaker 1: quarantine is going to make or break a lot of relationships,

482
00:26:55,400 --> 00:26:57,480
Speaker 1: right because now we're stuck at home with someone that

483
00:26:57,520 --> 00:27:00,480
Speaker 1: you didn't like in the beginning, and there's no getting

484
00:27:00,480 --> 00:27:04,439
Speaker 1: away from it. Versus I am madly in love with

485
00:27:04,480 --> 00:27:07,240
Speaker 1: this person and now we're stuck together with the kids

486
00:27:07,280 --> 00:27:09,719
Speaker 1: in the house. How do I keep that connection so

487
00:27:09,760 --> 00:27:12,600
Speaker 1: that we don't get, you know, drive each other crazy?

488
00:27:12,680 --> 00:27:15,480
Speaker 1: And so I really think that the sex is important.

489
00:27:15,520 --> 00:27:18,119
Speaker 1: You have to make it a priority. So, you know,

490
00:27:18,160 --> 00:27:23,560
Speaker 1: if if your thought processes turning the baby around and

491
00:27:23,640 --> 00:27:27,359
Speaker 1: staring at the wall for ten minutes, then so be it.

492
00:27:27,520 --> 00:27:29,400
Speaker 1: The baby is not going to know what's going on,

493
00:27:29,880 --> 00:27:31,960
Speaker 1: you know. So you guys just have to prioritize. You

494
00:27:32,119 --> 00:27:43,520
Speaker 1: never heard it's called quiet sex question for you stuff?

495
00:27:43,560 --> 00:27:47,600
Speaker 1: How many times do you recommend that couples be having

496
00:27:47,640 --> 00:27:52,440
Speaker 1: sex per week while in quarantine? Like, um, how many

497
00:27:52,480 --> 00:27:55,120
Speaker 1: times do you think most people in most relationships are

498
00:27:55,560 --> 00:27:58,640
Speaker 1: and how many times would you recommend that people make

499
00:27:58,720 --> 00:28:02,520
Speaker 1: this time. I love that you asked that question because

500
00:28:03,000 --> 00:28:05,800
Speaker 1: that is like the number one question for everybody. How

501
00:28:05,880 --> 00:28:08,200
Speaker 1: much is too much? How much just too little? What's

502
00:28:08,240 --> 00:28:11,240
Speaker 1: the norm? And there really isn't a norm, right, So

503
00:28:12,160 --> 00:28:15,600
Speaker 1: you have to remember that whatever because you might be

504
00:28:15,720 --> 00:28:18,760
Speaker 1: highly sexual, but your wife may not be, you know,

505
00:28:18,840 --> 00:28:21,840
Speaker 1: so for her having sex once a week or twice

506
00:28:21,920 --> 00:28:25,000
Speaker 1: the week, but for you it's four times a week.

507
00:28:25,240 --> 00:28:28,119
Speaker 1: You guys have to negotiate a good number together. You know,

508
00:28:28,160 --> 00:28:31,280
Speaker 1: everything is a negotiation, so you have to please her,

509
00:28:31,359 --> 00:28:34,639
Speaker 1: she has to please you. I honestly think three times

510
00:28:34,680 --> 00:28:40,280
Speaker 1: a week is normal. That's average, That's about typical. Yeah,

511
00:28:40,360 --> 00:28:43,440
Speaker 1: if you, like in Brooks's case, if you had to

512
00:28:43,480 --> 00:28:45,920
Speaker 1: have sex with someone who looked like Brooks, like a

513
00:28:46,000 --> 00:28:49,640
Speaker 1: complete neanderthal right now, would that three number maybe go

514
00:28:49,720 --> 00:28:52,800
Speaker 1: down closer to one as it would be unbearable to

515
00:28:53,480 --> 00:28:56,600
Speaker 1: lay on top or beneath and that looked like that.

516
00:28:57,080 --> 00:29:02,840
Speaker 1: You are so sens a possibility. You know what though,

517
00:29:02,880 --> 00:29:07,560
Speaker 1: That's why I have blindfold just blindfold me. What's funny? Ryan?

518
00:29:08,320 --> 00:29:11,560
Speaker 1: Half of like, I'm getting all these messages. A bunch

519
00:29:11,600 --> 00:29:15,080
Speaker 1: of people are like, shave that effing beard, and then

520
00:29:15,320 --> 00:29:18,240
Speaker 1: a bunch of people are messaging, I love the beard,

521
00:29:18,320 --> 00:29:23,640
Speaker 1: keep it going. It's kind of split. Um, maybe two

522
00:29:23,680 --> 00:29:29,960
Speaker 1: trolls in their basement have complimented you, everybody. Um, let's

523
00:29:29,960 --> 00:29:32,000
Speaker 1: talk about a little a topic that I don't know

524
00:29:32,040 --> 00:29:34,160
Speaker 1: if we've we've I don't know if we've used the

525
00:29:34,320 --> 00:29:37,640
Speaker 1: term staff on this show ever, but um, we talked

526
00:29:37,640 --> 00:29:41,520
Speaker 1: about it quite a bit. The term is sexual wellness. Yes,

527
00:29:41,760 --> 00:29:45,320
Speaker 1: we've never used the term sexual wellness. To my knowledge

528
00:29:45,320 --> 00:29:48,880
Speaker 1: on this show, but we've talked about sexuality a lot

529
00:29:48,920 --> 00:29:53,000
Speaker 1: and how being sexual isn't just the act of having sex,

530
00:29:53,960 --> 00:29:57,840
Speaker 1: much more into sexual energy than the physical coming together

531
00:29:57,880 --> 00:30:01,240
Speaker 1: an action of sex. Um, what would be your definition

532
00:30:01,280 --> 00:30:05,840
Speaker 1: of sexual wellness and how can people practice sexual wellness

533
00:30:05,880 --> 00:30:11,080
Speaker 1: that might then kickstart or lead to actual more connection

534
00:30:11,120 --> 00:30:13,920
Speaker 1: and more starts. You know, I think number one I

535
00:30:14,400 --> 00:30:17,840
Speaker 1: heard this actually from a patient today. UM. I asked

536
00:30:17,920 --> 00:30:20,240
Speaker 1: what her goals were and she said, I just want

537
00:30:20,280 --> 00:30:23,240
Speaker 1: to feel sexy. And I think that's a that's a

538
00:30:23,320 --> 00:30:26,280
Speaker 1: big statement from a lot of women out there. If

539
00:30:26,280 --> 00:30:30,160
Speaker 1: I'm speaking specifically to women, I want to feel sexy, right. Well,

540
00:30:30,240 --> 00:30:32,880
Speaker 1: what does that mean? Okay, yeah, what what do you

541
00:30:32,920 --> 00:30:36,240
Speaker 1: do to feel sexy? Well? First of all, you have

542
00:30:36,320 --> 00:30:39,320
Speaker 1: to look good, right. So a lot of women just

543
00:30:39,400 --> 00:30:42,280
Speaker 1: kind of feel frumpy like their moms, and you know,

544
00:30:42,320 --> 00:30:46,040
Speaker 1: they're a little bit overweight, and you know, maybe they're

545
00:30:46,040 --> 00:30:48,960
Speaker 1: just they don't feel confident enough, they don't have that

546
00:30:49,000 --> 00:30:51,600
Speaker 1: self esteem. So what does that look like to you?

547
00:30:51,720 --> 00:30:54,280
Speaker 1: Is that, you know, taking care of yourself, going to

548
00:30:54,360 --> 00:30:58,120
Speaker 1: the gym, it's eating right, you know, limiting your alcohol,

549
00:30:58,600 --> 00:31:00,240
Speaker 1: all these things that kind of give you the self

550
00:31:00,320 --> 00:31:02,960
Speaker 1: esteem part of it. That's number one. And that goes

551
00:31:03,200 --> 00:31:06,000
Speaker 1: to say for men to write, because I have men

552
00:31:06,040 --> 00:31:07,680
Speaker 1: that come in here that feel the same way. They

553
00:31:07,680 --> 00:31:10,800
Speaker 1: don't feel attractive, and that's like, that's the number one

554
00:31:10,840 --> 00:31:13,040
Speaker 1: thing I always hear is like, I just don't feel attractive.

555
00:31:13,080 --> 00:31:16,959
Speaker 1: I don't feel sexy. Well why not? Well, I don't exercise,

556
00:31:17,040 --> 00:31:19,480
Speaker 1: I don't eat right, I smoke, you know, I drink

557
00:31:19,480 --> 00:31:22,440
Speaker 1: alcohol at night. Well, let's start working on that first.

558
00:31:22,560 --> 00:31:25,200
Speaker 1: That's part of sexual wellness, you know. And then the

559
00:31:25,240 --> 00:31:28,280
Speaker 1: second part is, well, let's take care of you and

560
00:31:28,320 --> 00:31:31,120
Speaker 1: your hormones. So I can't tell you how many women

561
00:31:31,200 --> 00:31:34,160
Speaker 1: that I see, and this is now again women where

562
00:31:34,200 --> 00:31:36,400
Speaker 1: they'll come in and you know they're going through menopause

563
00:31:36,480 --> 00:31:39,760
Speaker 1: or they're having menopausal symptoms and you know they're having

564
00:31:39,800 --> 00:31:44,080
Speaker 1: like a dry vagina, or you know, they just their

565
00:31:44,240 --> 00:31:47,160
Speaker 1: their moody, whatever the case may be. That's all hormone related.

566
00:31:47,240 --> 00:31:49,680
Speaker 1: Just like the men. Same thing. Men will come in

567
00:31:49,720 --> 00:31:51,960
Speaker 1: here and they'll say things like, you know, I can't

568
00:31:52,000 --> 00:31:55,320
Speaker 1: get a morning erection anymore, or you know, I'm I'm

569
00:31:55,320 --> 00:31:59,560
Speaker 1: losing my erection during intercourse. That's all hormone type related.

570
00:31:59,760 --> 00:32:03,320
Speaker 1: So it's there's so many little aspects to sexual wellness.

571
00:32:03,440 --> 00:32:05,800
Speaker 1: It's like, let's start from the beginning and work our

572
00:32:05,840 --> 00:32:09,760
Speaker 1: way down, right, So it's always going to be your hormones,

573
00:32:10,120 --> 00:32:11,880
Speaker 1: it's going to be blood flowing, and it's going to

574
00:32:11,960 --> 00:32:16,520
Speaker 1: be your brain. Start working on yourself self esteem. Well,

575
00:32:16,760 --> 00:32:19,280
Speaker 1: you know what's interesting real quickly Brooks about that is like,

576
00:32:19,960 --> 00:32:23,160
Speaker 1: I think that is all really helpful information. But what

577
00:32:23,280 --> 00:32:26,840
Speaker 1: makes it um it's interesting to me is that we're

578
00:32:26,840 --> 00:32:29,120
Speaker 1: in a situation now with the quarantine of it all,

579
00:32:29,200 --> 00:32:33,560
Speaker 1: where so many of those things are unable to be satisfied.

580
00:32:33,640 --> 00:32:35,400
Speaker 1: It's a conversation with my wife and I had a

581
00:32:35,440 --> 00:32:38,400
Speaker 1: few days ago which is like, yes, you, and she

582
00:32:38,680 --> 00:32:41,400
Speaker 1: was saying like she wants to feel good, and like

583
00:32:41,680 --> 00:32:45,400
Speaker 1: part of connecting with one another and having sex is

584
00:32:45,400 --> 00:32:48,240
Speaker 1: like wanting to feel good. And and when you're in

585
00:32:48,280 --> 00:32:51,080
Speaker 1: a position where you're she's like, I haven't showered, like

586
00:32:51,280 --> 00:32:54,520
Speaker 1: I showered yesterday. I think, like I you know, we're

587
00:32:54,520 --> 00:32:57,400
Speaker 1: trying to keep these two kids alive, and like you're

588
00:32:57,600 --> 00:32:59,440
Speaker 1: losing your mind in many ways, And she's like, I

589
00:32:59,480 --> 00:33:03,960
Speaker 1: don't all like sexy right now. I'm like trying to

590
00:33:04,000 --> 00:33:08,040
Speaker 1: get a five minute shower, just like with one of

591
00:33:08,080 --> 00:33:10,240
Speaker 1: our kids, like or two and a half. You're pounding

592
00:33:10,240 --> 00:33:13,000
Speaker 1: on the glass like it's not relaxing, and you're not

593
00:33:13,040 --> 00:33:15,200
Speaker 1: getting dressed because why why would you get dressed because

594
00:33:15,200 --> 00:33:17,680
Speaker 1: you're not going out of the house and you can't

595
00:33:17,760 --> 00:33:19,760
Speaker 1: go to a gym because the gyms are closed and

596
00:33:19,800 --> 00:33:22,520
Speaker 1: there's all these things that like you can't and she

597
00:33:22,680 --> 00:33:24,120
Speaker 1: her point was like, she's like, I haven't gotten my

598
00:33:24,120 --> 00:33:28,880
Speaker 1: haircut since we had the baby in October. Let alone colored.

599
00:33:29,080 --> 00:33:31,000
Speaker 1: And she's like, my look at my roots, Like I

600
00:33:31,040 --> 00:33:34,160
Speaker 1: don't feel like myself in so many ways. And then

601
00:33:34,200 --> 00:33:36,800
Speaker 1: you've got the COVID fifteen, which is the fifteen pounds

602
00:33:36,800 --> 00:33:38,960
Speaker 1: you're all gaining because you can't leave the freaking house

603
00:33:39,160 --> 00:33:48,280
Speaker 1: and we're all losing our mind. Stuff. Okay, I love

604
00:33:48,440 --> 00:33:51,280
Speaker 1: of it. First of all. Now I'm gonna burst your bubble.

605
00:33:51,480 --> 00:33:56,680
Speaker 1: All excuses, those are all excuses. Gosh darn it. Yeah,

606
00:33:57,360 --> 00:33:59,920
Speaker 1: take a shower. First of all, I don't have any

607
00:34:00,040 --> 00:34:06,880
Speaker 1: hands helped her, so she can take a shower. That's

608
00:34:06,960 --> 00:34:10,440
Speaker 1: number one. To take a shower every day. Get ready

609
00:34:10,560 --> 00:34:13,640
Speaker 1: as if you're doing something every day, right, don't lays

610
00:34:13,680 --> 00:34:16,080
Speaker 1: around in your you know, pajamas or whatever. And that

611
00:34:16,160 --> 00:34:19,000
Speaker 1: even goes to stay with like someone with little kids.

612
00:34:19,040 --> 00:34:21,319
Speaker 1: Trust me, I've had little kids, so I understand. You

613
00:34:21,360 --> 00:34:23,040
Speaker 1: know what that means. You have to kind of like

614
00:34:23,960 --> 00:34:26,960
Speaker 1: do your normal routine, get into a normal routine. No,

615
00:34:27,120 --> 00:34:29,040
Speaker 1: you can't leave the house, doesn't mean you can't do

616
00:34:29,120 --> 00:34:31,600
Speaker 1: something at the house. You know. You can always do

617
00:34:31,680 --> 00:34:33,680
Speaker 1: like a jump rope, or you can do push ups,

618
00:34:33,680 --> 00:34:36,480
Speaker 1: sit up. There's exercise you can do around the house,

619
00:34:36,719 --> 00:34:40,080
Speaker 1: you know. And it's just kind of I think for

620
00:34:40,200 --> 00:34:44,879
Speaker 1: you specifically, just telling her how beautiful she is, you don't,

621
00:34:44,920 --> 00:34:47,239
Speaker 1: you know, it doesn't matter what her roots look like,

622
00:34:47,440 --> 00:34:49,880
Speaker 1: and doesn't matter that she's got the fifteen pounds, like

623
00:34:50,200 --> 00:34:53,600
Speaker 1: that's not you know, it's what's inside that's attracting you

624
00:34:53,680 --> 00:34:56,000
Speaker 1: to her. And I think it's just that's how you

625
00:34:56,000 --> 00:34:58,640
Speaker 1: guys are going to stay connected. Is it that kind

626
00:34:58,640 --> 00:35:01,480
Speaker 1: of loving relationship or you just you tell her how

627
00:35:01,520 --> 00:35:03,600
Speaker 1: much she means to you and how amazing she is

628
00:35:03,640 --> 00:35:06,279
Speaker 1: to you, and she's beautiful and you know you want

629
00:35:06,320 --> 00:35:09,160
Speaker 1: to be with her. So I think if you start,

630
00:35:09,680 --> 00:35:13,880
Speaker 1: you know, um, kind of making sex important between the

631
00:35:13,920 --> 00:35:16,799
Speaker 1: two of you, she's going to feel sexy because of that,

632
00:35:16,880 --> 00:35:20,400
Speaker 1: because she feels wanted. Yeah, and for the record, she

633
00:35:20,440 --> 00:35:25,520
Speaker 1: has not gained the cod is more diligent than ever

634
00:35:25,640 --> 00:35:28,279
Speaker 1: and like eating healthy and you know all that I

635
00:35:28,360 --> 00:35:31,680
Speaker 1: have said as a loving husband, I am gaining the

636
00:35:31,719 --> 00:35:36,200
Speaker 1: fifteen so as to look exponentially worse, which will therefore

637
00:35:36,360 --> 00:35:39,799
Speaker 1: make her look exponentially better as compared to me, which

638
00:35:39,840 --> 00:35:43,480
Speaker 1: is me being selfless. Yes, yes, I like that. I

639
00:35:43,600 --> 00:35:51,640
Speaker 1: really like that works. What about this stuff? What I

640
00:35:51,680 --> 00:35:53,319
Speaker 1: want to ask you this question. Do you think that

641
00:35:53,360 --> 00:35:58,640
Speaker 1: the the over proximity is leading to less sex drive?

642
00:35:58,719 --> 00:36:00,960
Speaker 1: Like when you think about a partner, when you meet

643
00:36:01,000 --> 00:36:03,840
Speaker 1: this person, you can't see this person enough, right, Like

644
00:36:04,360 --> 00:36:06,359
Speaker 1: you just want to spend every second with them. You're

645
00:36:06,400 --> 00:36:09,080
Speaker 1: just absorbed, consumed by them when you meet this person.

646
00:36:09,400 --> 00:36:13,200
Speaker 1: So now, why why in this time, Like, does being

647
00:36:13,239 --> 00:36:18,960
Speaker 1: around a significant other actually turn like with that the proximity,

648
00:36:18,960 --> 00:36:22,160
Speaker 1: being around somebody so much actually turn you off sexually

649
00:36:22,200 --> 00:36:25,000
Speaker 1: to that person. Yeah, it could because you think about it.

650
00:36:25,040 --> 00:36:27,320
Speaker 1: You know, they're they're all up in your business twenty

651
00:36:27,360 --> 00:36:29,919
Speaker 1: four hours a day, and you know you're you kind

652
00:36:29,920 --> 00:36:32,319
Speaker 1: of start getting a little annoyed with them. You know,

653
00:36:32,480 --> 00:36:36,720
Speaker 1: they get on your nerves. They're little, their quirkiness comes

654
00:36:36,760 --> 00:36:39,360
Speaker 1: out right, and then you kind of start thinking, like

655
00:36:39,520 --> 00:36:43,160
Speaker 1: I knew they had that quirkiness, but it wasn't accentuated.

656
00:36:43,320 --> 00:36:47,560
Speaker 1: And we're sitting on top of each other. So I

657
00:36:47,600 --> 00:36:51,080
Speaker 1: think it's just remembering and reminding yourself why you fell

658
00:36:51,120 --> 00:36:53,879
Speaker 1: in love in the first place, right, and that Yeah,

659
00:36:53,920 --> 00:36:57,400
Speaker 1: I actually I was attracted to the quirkiness, So that

660
00:36:57,520 --> 00:37:01,080
Speaker 1: quirkiness is okay, it's just in situated because we're all

661
00:37:01,120 --> 00:37:04,040
Speaker 1: just sitting here. And yeah, you look a little dirty

662
00:37:04,280 --> 00:37:07,160
Speaker 1: because maybe you haven't powered in a couple of days.

663
00:37:08,080 --> 00:37:11,800
Speaker 1: But I still brooks when she said you look dirty,

664
00:37:11,880 --> 00:37:17,880
Speaker 1: and she was looking directly at him, This was all, yeah,

665
00:37:19,360 --> 00:37:21,880
Speaker 1: I have to go back and look at an old photo.

666
00:37:30,880 --> 00:37:34,440
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, Like I believe, like my wife and I

667
00:37:34,480 --> 00:37:36,600
Speaker 1: both travel a lot for work. We're here there, especially

668
00:37:36,600 --> 00:37:39,760
Speaker 1: when I was playing hockey, so that when you miss somebody,

669
00:37:39,800 --> 00:37:43,880
Speaker 1: that really ramps up the sexual desire in the craving

670
00:37:44,360 --> 00:37:48,360
Speaker 1: and then like lust for somebody. Yes, So like Ryan,

671
00:37:48,760 --> 00:37:51,400
Speaker 1: you and your wife are both at home right now. Um,

672
00:37:52,000 --> 00:37:55,000
Speaker 1: do you ever go like more than five hours without

673
00:37:55,040 --> 00:37:57,359
Speaker 1: seeing each other? Two hours? Like, do you ever just

674
00:37:57,560 --> 00:38:00,560
Speaker 1: say I'm gonna be like working from here and I

675
00:38:00,600 --> 00:38:03,080
Speaker 1: don't want to see you or to try and create

676
00:38:03,080 --> 00:38:05,080
Speaker 1: that attraction again of missing each other, Like is that

677
00:38:05,160 --> 00:38:08,200
Speaker 1: a possible thing that couples could do. Yeah, I mean

678
00:38:08,600 --> 00:38:11,800
Speaker 1: like I don't practice that to answer your question, because

679
00:38:12,440 --> 00:38:17,359
Speaker 1: the ability to lend a helping hand like is more

680
00:38:17,480 --> 00:38:20,920
Speaker 1: valuable than saying I'm gonna piece out for five hours.

681
00:38:20,960 --> 00:38:24,719
Speaker 1: But this is for us, trust me, don't do that,

682
00:38:24,960 --> 00:38:29,680
Speaker 1: not with a newborn. I just trying to think of

683
00:38:30,480 --> 00:38:32,520
Speaker 1: any ways to help our community, to help people that

684
00:38:32,560 --> 00:38:35,439
Speaker 1: are going through this. Um Ryan, remember we had Leela

685
00:38:35,520 --> 00:38:39,120
Speaker 1: to Pull on our podcast one time, Yes sex Expert

686
00:38:39,400 --> 00:38:43,000
Speaker 1: um Sexologists just she was very helpful. She now hosts

687
00:38:43,040 --> 00:38:46,359
Speaker 1: a podcast UM for I heard called Intimate Knowledge, and

688
00:38:46,400 --> 00:38:49,279
Speaker 1: she ran a poll on her with her community the

689
00:38:49,280 --> 00:38:52,800
Speaker 1: other day on Instagram, and seven out of ten people

690
00:38:52,800 --> 00:38:57,960
Speaker 1: said they felt less sexual during this time. It's it's

691
00:38:57,960 --> 00:38:59,920
Speaker 1: just it's crazy. It blew me away when I saw it.

692
00:39:00,000 --> 00:39:04,719
Speaker 1: I'm like, wow, like people are actually really struggling sexual

693
00:39:04,719 --> 00:39:07,239
Speaker 1: connection at the time and trying to dig to the

694
00:39:07,320 --> 00:39:10,160
Speaker 1: root of that, Like, really, what is that? Yeah, I

695
00:39:10,200 --> 00:39:11,880
Speaker 1: think it's it's all the things that you're kind of

696
00:39:11,920 --> 00:39:16,160
Speaker 1: talking about. It's you know, basically all being on top

697
00:39:16,200 --> 00:39:18,880
Speaker 1: of each other right in this house twenty four hours

698
00:39:18,880 --> 00:39:21,760
Speaker 1: a day. But kind of like what you said, Ryan

699
00:39:21,960 --> 00:39:24,759
Speaker 1: is you know, this is the time that we come

700
00:39:24,800 --> 00:39:29,120
Speaker 1: together and we're best friends. Right, So it's like I'm

701
00:39:29,160 --> 00:39:31,000
Speaker 1: here to help you, You're here to help me, Like,

702
00:39:31,080 --> 00:39:34,040
Speaker 1: let's do this together. Especially with the parents. You know,

703
00:39:34,080 --> 00:39:36,840
Speaker 1: with kids, it's you know, you don't want the parents

704
00:39:36,920 --> 00:39:39,920
Speaker 1: that's like I can't take this, I'm piecing out. You

705
00:39:39,960 --> 00:39:41,920
Speaker 1: need the parent to kind of like step up to

706
00:39:42,000 --> 00:39:44,400
Speaker 1: the plate. Like we came to this together. We're going

707
00:39:44,480 --> 00:39:46,040
Speaker 1: to be best friends. Like we're going to get through

708
00:39:46,080 --> 00:39:49,120
Speaker 1: this together. It's like knowing that you have that person,

709
00:39:49,360 --> 00:39:52,879
Speaker 1: you know that you're rock that you're um counting on,

710
00:39:53,200 --> 00:39:56,680
Speaker 1: you know, I think that's going to help these relationships.

711
00:39:56,800 --> 00:40:01,360
Speaker 1: So um So for people that haven't one more question

712
00:40:01,400 --> 00:40:04,360
Speaker 1: for you want to take up all your time stuff,

713
00:40:05,040 --> 00:40:09,520
Speaker 1: but I appreciate your insight. For people that are rocket

714
00:40:09,600 --> 00:40:13,640
Speaker 1: and rolling or people that aren't, can you and people

715
00:40:13,680 --> 00:40:16,680
Speaker 1: that haven't listened to our episode about the rocket, can

716
00:40:16,760 --> 00:40:20,200
Speaker 1: you care how this magical device that you can purchase

717
00:40:20,239 --> 00:40:22,480
Speaker 1: and having the comfort of your own home can actually

718
00:40:22,560 --> 00:40:24,520
Speaker 1: lead to better sex? Can you talk a little bit

719
00:40:24,520 --> 00:40:27,000
Speaker 1: about the rocket again. Can I just tell you real

720
00:40:27,080 --> 00:40:33,080
Speaker 1: quick that we just got our first hundred delivered literally

721
00:40:33,239 --> 00:40:39,600
Speaker 1: an hour ago. Yes, we guys. I don't know if

722
00:40:39,640 --> 00:40:43,279
Speaker 1: you can. Can you see as I open it? I

723
00:40:43,360 --> 00:40:47,719
Speaker 1: wish our community could see that. Can you pull it out?

724
00:40:47,719 --> 00:40:53,440
Speaker 1: And because has been able to see it, it's like Christmas.

725
00:40:53,760 --> 00:41:00,880
Speaker 1: I literally feel like Christmas right now? Okay, so true spaceships?

726
00:41:00,880 --> 00:41:06,200
Speaker 1: What like tenans? It's a spaceship, yes, um. So basically

727
00:41:06,239 --> 00:41:09,680
Speaker 1: this is using um sound wave. So for those who

728
00:41:09,719 --> 00:41:14,320
Speaker 1: don't know, it's called shockwave therapy, and chock wave therapy

729
00:41:14,320 --> 00:41:17,520
Speaker 1: has been around for over twenty years and they use

730
00:41:17,600 --> 00:41:22,480
Speaker 1: it on muscular skeletal injuries, so knee, shoulder, achilles, tendonitis,

731
00:41:22,520 --> 00:41:25,399
Speaker 1: plant or fasciitis. That's how it all started. And the

732
00:41:25,440 --> 00:41:28,000
Speaker 1: idea is it's not a shock, it's a sound wave,

733
00:41:28,200 --> 00:41:32,160
Speaker 1: and the sound wave is creating micro trauma, you know,

734
00:41:32,160 --> 00:41:35,840
Speaker 1: a little damage underneath the skin layer, the cellular layer,

735
00:41:36,120 --> 00:41:39,200
Speaker 1: and it tells your body to create new tissue. So

736
00:41:39,320 --> 00:41:43,319
Speaker 1: it's repairing old tissue, giving new tissue, and forming new

737
00:41:43,360 --> 00:41:47,319
Speaker 1: blood vessels. So they are now using this for the

738
00:41:47,320 --> 00:41:51,800
Speaker 1: treatment of erectile dysfunction as well sexual performance and pay ronies.

739
00:41:52,280 --> 00:41:54,480
Speaker 1: And it's been on the market probably for the last

740
00:41:54,520 --> 00:41:58,000
Speaker 1: ten years as shock wave therapy in medical clinics, but

741
00:41:58,080 --> 00:42:00,080
Speaker 1: you would have to go to a medical clinic to

742
00:42:00,120 --> 00:42:03,600
Speaker 1: get this treatment done. So Dustin and I a couple

743
00:42:03,600 --> 00:42:06,400
Speaker 1: of years ago, you know, we were just we felt

744
00:42:06,480 --> 00:42:09,560
Speaker 1: really sad because nine out of ten guys that would

745
00:42:09,600 --> 00:42:12,239
Speaker 1: call our clinic number one couldn't afford to come in

746
00:42:12,280 --> 00:42:15,759
Speaker 1: and get it treated, and they lived too far or

747
00:42:15,880 --> 00:42:17,960
Speaker 1: they were just embarrassed, you know, they didn't want me

748
00:42:18,080 --> 00:42:20,279
Speaker 1: to treat them. So we thought we had to do

749
00:42:20,360 --> 00:42:23,080
Speaker 1: something where we can give these guys this treatment in

750
00:42:23,120 --> 00:42:25,400
Speaker 1: the comfort of their own home and get rid of

751
00:42:25,400 --> 00:42:28,440
Speaker 1: all those factors. And so that's when we designed the Rocket.

752
00:42:29,120 --> 00:42:33,200
Speaker 1: So we are in our we were in our prototype

753
00:42:33,320 --> 00:42:37,040
Speaker 1: and we did clinical studies in the office and um

754
00:42:37,120 --> 00:42:42,879
Speaker 1: we're now we're at market. So yeah, super exciting. UM.

755
00:42:42,920 --> 00:42:45,719
Speaker 1: I know it looks kind of crazy, but I did

756
00:42:45,760 --> 00:42:49,839
Speaker 1: a video. Everybody gets um these little like it kind

757
00:42:49,840 --> 00:42:53,160
Speaker 1: of tells you. There's a website where I demonstrate how

758
00:42:53,200 --> 00:42:56,759
Speaker 1: to use it. It's very simple. Um, but again, it's

759
00:42:56,800 --> 00:43:00,600
Speaker 1: all about creating new blood vessel formation, which feeds the tissue,

760
00:43:01,200 --> 00:43:05,200
Speaker 1: which helps regrow the tissue and just again sexual wellness.

761
00:43:05,320 --> 00:43:08,279
Speaker 1: It's taking care of yourself right on. There you go,

762
00:43:08,560 --> 00:43:11,040
Speaker 1: the Ryan, break out that credit card. I know you

763
00:43:11,040 --> 00:43:14,400
Speaker 1: have a ton of money order right now and overnight

764
00:43:14,480 --> 00:43:18,520
Speaker 1: that to your house. Yeah. So while you're quarantined and

765
00:43:18,560 --> 00:43:23,160
Speaker 1: you can't do anything, let me help you out perfect time.

766
00:43:27,280 --> 00:43:29,160
Speaker 1: I want to thank you so much, thank you for

767
00:43:29,239 --> 00:43:32,320
Speaker 1: what you've given our community. I hope people struggling with

768
00:43:32,320 --> 00:43:37,120
Speaker 1: with sexual health issues right now got some value from this. UM.

769
00:43:37,280 --> 00:43:39,360
Speaker 1: And where can people connect with you? Where do you

770
00:43:39,400 --> 00:43:42,080
Speaker 1: hang out the most? Um if people want to get

771
00:43:42,080 --> 00:43:44,000
Speaker 1: in touch with you a about the work that you

772
00:43:44,040 --> 00:43:47,360
Speaker 1: do or be about the Rocket. Yeah so, UM my

773
00:43:47,480 --> 00:43:52,520
Speaker 1: clinic is the Nova Center. We're in Studio City, California. UM.

774
00:43:52,520 --> 00:43:56,320
Speaker 1: More than happy to help anyone. You just can email

775
00:43:56,400 --> 00:44:00,440
Speaker 1: call any one of those. UM. As far as the Rocket,

776
00:44:00,600 --> 00:44:02,840
Speaker 1: it's get my rocket dot com. And that gives you

777
00:44:02,880 --> 00:44:05,520
Speaker 1: all the information that you need to know. There you go, Ryan,

778
00:44:05,640 --> 00:44:09,840
Speaker 1: Just make you guys, make time for each other, be

779
00:44:10,040 --> 00:44:12,719
Speaker 1: nice to each other, love each other, and remember why

780
00:44:12,800 --> 00:44:16,680
Speaker 1: you fell in love. Yeah, thank you so much, Steph. Yes,

781
00:44:16,719 --> 00:44:28,680
Speaker 1: you're welcome. Thank you. Hi So there you go, Ryan,

782
00:44:29,120 --> 00:44:32,200
Speaker 1: all your problems are fixed. Man. Steph is great. She

783
00:44:32,400 --> 00:44:35,880
Speaker 1: was great. Uh yeah, you're gonna get a rocket? Should

784
00:44:35,880 --> 00:44:41,200
Speaker 1: I get a rocket? Should I? Okay? Um, I'm really

785
00:44:41,239 --> 00:44:43,680
Speaker 1: interested in It's actually a really interesting device and it's

786
00:44:43,680 --> 00:44:46,440
Speaker 1: backed by science, so it's and it only costs for

787
00:44:46,760 --> 00:44:49,480
Speaker 1: listeners that haven't listened to the previous episode we did

788
00:44:49,480 --> 00:44:54,040
Speaker 1: about is I think about seven bucks? So maybe tell

789
00:44:54,080 --> 00:44:56,279
Speaker 1: your wife a little Christmas gift line up for you,

790
00:44:56,280 --> 00:44:58,759
Speaker 1: a little birthday gift coming up? All right, guys, this

791
00:44:58,800 --> 00:45:01,640
Speaker 1: is a producer Danielle John thing in. Um one, I

792
00:45:01,680 --> 00:45:08,320
Speaker 1: have a comment, Brooks keep the beard women. Sorry, Ryan,

793
00:45:08,440 --> 00:45:12,960
Speaker 1: you definitely are losing on this one. I will do

794
00:45:13,000 --> 00:45:16,160
Speaker 1: a poll on the helmet think Instagram to see if

795
00:45:16,160 --> 00:45:20,640
Speaker 1: they like Brooks with the beard or without the beard. Um.

796
00:45:20,680 --> 00:45:22,239
Speaker 1: But I wanted to bring up a topic with you

797
00:45:22,239 --> 00:45:24,360
Speaker 1: guys because I've been discussing this a lot with some

798
00:45:24,480 --> 00:45:28,640
Speaker 1: girlfriends and I brought it up with my husband just

799
00:45:28,680 --> 00:45:32,000
Speaker 1: to get like the male perspective, and he was, well, oh,

800
00:45:32,200 --> 00:45:35,160
Speaker 1: save his response. But I have I've had a couple

801
00:45:35,160 --> 00:45:36,560
Speaker 1: of my girlfriends that have reached out to me and

802
00:45:36,600 --> 00:45:42,080
Speaker 1: they're like, so, um, these years are these like this

803
00:45:42,160 --> 00:45:44,359
Speaker 1: year and next year we're supposed to be the years

804
00:45:44,360 --> 00:45:47,319
Speaker 1: that I'm traveling with my husband before having babies. But

805
00:45:47,360 --> 00:45:50,840
Speaker 1: now that we can't do that, I think we're gonna

806
00:45:50,880 --> 00:45:53,400
Speaker 1: just go for it and have a baby, like or

807
00:45:53,440 --> 00:45:56,279
Speaker 1: at least try to have one, because what else will

808
00:45:56,320 --> 00:45:58,879
Speaker 1: you do right now, Like we're all in quarantine, let's

809
00:45:58,920 --> 00:46:03,080
Speaker 1: just have sex and have a baby. And my initial

810
00:46:03,120 --> 00:46:06,920
Speaker 1: reaction was, what the hell? So I think I have

811
00:46:07,000 --> 00:46:09,080
Speaker 1: a I have a remedy for them to cure them.

812
00:46:09,120 --> 00:46:11,640
Speaker 1: I put them on a FaceTime call with Brian and

813
00:46:11,680 --> 00:46:14,560
Speaker 1: they will be shut down. Their sexual libido will go

814
00:46:14,800 --> 00:46:18,480
Speaker 1: to the floor. Such a good idea. I am a

815
00:46:18,680 --> 00:46:25,520
Speaker 1: poster child and the poster voice of yes, okay. So

816
00:46:25,560 --> 00:46:29,520
Speaker 1: then here's my question. If if the women in your

817
00:46:29,520 --> 00:46:31,520
Speaker 1: life came to you right now, we're like, all right,

818
00:46:31,600 --> 00:46:33,719
Speaker 1: let's let's try for a baby, since there's something else

819
00:46:33,760 --> 00:46:36,239
Speaker 1: we can do, are you guys in or are you

820
00:46:36,520 --> 00:46:38,600
Speaker 1: like I think we might need to wait till we're

821
00:46:38,640 --> 00:46:42,640
Speaker 1: done with this COVID nineteen not in for that reason.

822
00:46:44,000 --> 00:46:47,799
Speaker 1: That reason is so bad, because who knows it could

823
00:46:47,880 --> 00:46:50,080
Speaker 1: lift in a month, it could lift in two weeks,

824
00:46:50,120 --> 00:46:52,040
Speaker 1: just because you have nothing else to do right now,

825
00:46:52,080 --> 00:46:55,040
Speaker 1: that's not a reason to bring a life into the world.

826
00:46:55,360 --> 00:46:58,320
Speaker 1: You can still have sex without having to create a baby.

827
00:46:58,520 --> 00:47:01,840
Speaker 1: Like the world is going to come back, the economy

828
00:47:01,920 --> 00:47:04,240
Speaker 1: is going to open up, travel will open up again.

829
00:47:04,560 --> 00:47:06,800
Speaker 1: Maybe it's a couple of months, maybe it's six months.

830
00:47:06,840 --> 00:47:10,000
Speaker 1: But yeah, but like I don't it's not like I

831
00:47:10,080 --> 00:47:12,479
Speaker 1: don't first see us being on lockdown for the next

832
00:47:12,560 --> 00:47:15,440
Speaker 1: four years, where it's like we've got nothing else to do,

833
00:47:15,480 --> 00:47:17,320
Speaker 1: we might as well have a baby for four years.

834
00:47:17,320 --> 00:47:19,880
Speaker 1: Like as soon as these people, if they try and

835
00:47:19,920 --> 00:47:22,360
Speaker 1: have a baby right now, as soon as they're actually

836
00:47:22,400 --> 00:47:26,359
Speaker 1: having the baby, everything's gonna be wide open and open

837
00:47:26,480 --> 00:47:28,680
Speaker 1: up again. And now they're gonna be pissed because they're

838
00:47:28,680 --> 00:47:30,360
Speaker 1: not able to travel because like we're about to have

839
00:47:30,400 --> 00:47:32,879
Speaker 1: a baby. My wife's eight months pregnant. Would have loved

840
00:47:32,920 --> 00:47:34,759
Speaker 1: to go to Turks and cake pose, but can't now

841
00:47:34,840 --> 00:47:38,359
Speaker 1: because we can't flop. Yeah, I mean that's the hope, right,

842
00:47:38,800 --> 00:47:40,279
Speaker 1: I mean, I would say a couple of things. The

843
00:47:40,280 --> 00:47:42,319
Speaker 1: first thing, which is Brooks touched upon it. It's like

844
00:47:42,840 --> 00:47:44,839
Speaker 1: we've we're board, what else do we have to do?

845
00:47:44,880 --> 00:47:46,080
Speaker 1: We might as well have a baby. It's like, no,

846
00:47:46,680 --> 00:47:48,319
Speaker 1: you can still have sex. You don't need to pull

847
00:47:48,360 --> 00:47:51,520
Speaker 1: the goalie. Just have sex and don't right, Like, that's

848
00:47:51,560 --> 00:47:54,800
Speaker 1: that's point A, point B from a male perspective in

849
00:47:54,960 --> 00:47:58,440
Speaker 1: terms of how men think, how I always thought prior

850
00:47:58,520 --> 00:48:01,120
Speaker 1: to finally committing to saying like, yes, I think it's

851
00:48:01,200 --> 00:48:03,680
Speaker 1: time and I'm ready to have a baby. I wanted

852
00:48:03,680 --> 00:48:07,799
Speaker 1: to know I was secure in my job and like

853
00:48:08,000 --> 00:48:11,040
Speaker 1: financially secure to bring another life that was gonna that

854
00:48:11,080 --> 00:48:16,200
Speaker 1: I was gonna be responsible for. And it in today's economy,

855
00:48:16,320 --> 00:48:18,600
Speaker 1: when we're about to enter a recession and people are

856
00:48:18,640 --> 00:48:23,040
Speaker 1: losing their jobs and everything's uncertain, I as a man,

857
00:48:23,400 --> 00:48:26,359
Speaker 1: would not feel comfortable committing to bringing another life and

858
00:48:26,360 --> 00:48:29,440
Speaker 1: that I am going to be financially responsible for when

859
00:48:29,440 --> 00:48:33,160
Speaker 1: I could lose my job tomorrow. That's a big, big consideration.

860
00:48:33,680 --> 00:48:36,000
Speaker 1: And the last thing I will say is a conversation

861
00:48:36,040 --> 00:48:37,799
Speaker 1: with my wife and I had the other week was

862
00:48:38,280 --> 00:48:41,520
Speaker 1: like so week on the opposite way, it's not. We

863
00:48:41,520 --> 00:48:43,840
Speaker 1: were like, so do we should we try to have

864
00:48:43,920 --> 00:48:46,920
Speaker 1: a girl, And we both looked each other like we

865
00:48:46,960 --> 00:48:49,560
Speaker 1: should get you a vasectomy, Like I am already looking

866
00:48:49,560 --> 00:48:52,520
Speaker 1: into getting a vasectomy because this has created a world

867
00:48:52,520 --> 00:48:55,920
Speaker 1: in which I cannot add them a third child. I

868
00:48:55,960 --> 00:48:59,560
Speaker 1: am gonna lose it. So this is this is quite

869
00:49:00,120 --> 00:49:04,359
Speaker 1: equals a set to me. Do you know that there's

870
00:49:04,400 --> 00:49:09,160
Speaker 1: a National Vasectomy Day? It's when March Madness begins, typically

871
00:49:09,160 --> 00:49:11,360
Speaker 1: because every all the guys stay home to watch the

872
00:49:11,440 --> 00:49:14,160
Speaker 1: n C Double A tournament. Yeah, the first round. Yeah,

873
00:49:14,320 --> 00:49:16,560
Speaker 1: Like radio stations in d C when I was playing there,

874
00:49:16,600 --> 00:49:19,239
Speaker 1: they used to give away a free vasectomy heading up

875
00:49:19,239 --> 00:49:21,279
Speaker 1: to that so that the guy could get it and

876
00:49:21,280 --> 00:49:23,440
Speaker 1: then you could just sit on the couch for the

877
00:49:23,440 --> 00:49:25,280
Speaker 1: next two days with an ice pack on this growing

878
00:49:25,280 --> 00:49:31,279
Speaker 1: and just watch college basketball. I'm targeting next March. What

879
00:49:31,560 --> 00:49:33,960
Speaker 1: would you target right now? And like what would you target?

880
00:49:35,840 --> 00:49:39,440
Speaker 1: I mean, I think like this. I'm not even exaggerating

881
00:49:39,440 --> 00:49:41,960
Speaker 1: when I say this has led us to the conclusion,

882
00:49:42,000 --> 00:49:43,480
Speaker 1: like the sect to me is the way to go.

883
00:49:43,560 --> 00:49:46,200
Speaker 1: We can't have a kid. This is too much. Really,

884
00:49:48,280 --> 00:49:50,160
Speaker 1: you don't think like this might when you go back

885
00:49:50,200 --> 00:49:53,120
Speaker 1: to work when like the kids are you know, you

886
00:49:53,160 --> 00:49:54,719
Speaker 1: don't have a six month old, you have a two

887
00:49:54,760 --> 00:49:56,799
Speaker 1: and a four year old. You might be like, yeah,

888
00:49:56,920 --> 00:49:59,400
Speaker 1: I'd like to try for a girl. No, I'm already

889
00:49:59,440 --> 00:50:02,080
Speaker 1: giving away everything we have as soon as they've reached

890
00:50:02,080 --> 00:50:04,600
Speaker 1: that milestone and surpass it. Now you want the crib,

891
00:50:04,719 --> 00:50:12,400
Speaker 1: you want this walker, take it. We're done. I'm done. Okay, Okay.

892
00:50:12,440 --> 00:50:14,520
Speaker 1: Well you've got a beautiful, healthy family, so you're very

893
00:50:14,560 --> 00:50:17,920
Speaker 1: well lucky. Yeah. Sounds like we should do a podcast

894
00:50:18,040 --> 00:50:22,880
Speaker 1: when Ryan gets his vasectomy, a live podcast so we

895
00:50:22,920 --> 00:50:34,520
Speaker 1: could get the play by play absolutely. Um, Danielle, can

896
00:50:34,560 --> 00:50:39,279
Speaker 1: we ask Ryan about the Instagram comment that's got Ryan

897
00:50:39,360 --> 00:50:41,839
Speaker 1: fired up? I mean I think he should just take

898
00:50:41,840 --> 00:50:44,279
Speaker 1: it away. He has a lot to say. Okay, I'll

899
00:50:44,320 --> 00:50:47,480
Speaker 1: read this comment Ryan and then you can rebut what

900
00:50:47,680 --> 00:50:51,520
Speaker 1: this was said? Um, this was written on our How

901
00:50:51,520 --> 00:50:54,600
Speaker 1: Many Think podcast Instagram? Should I say the list of

902
00:50:54,840 --> 00:50:58,480
Speaker 1: the person that wrote it, Danielle, Let's keep him anonymous. Okay,

903
00:50:58,560 --> 00:51:02,160
Speaker 1: here's the question. Why it is Ryan not listen to anyone?

904
00:51:03,160 --> 00:51:06,279
Speaker 1: He is so negative. Having kids as hard, but it

905
00:51:06,320 --> 00:51:08,600
Speaker 1: seems you make it so much more difficult than it

906
00:51:08,640 --> 00:51:11,600
Speaker 1: needs to be. You can find helps, you can go

907
00:51:11,640 --> 00:51:13,799
Speaker 1: away for a weekend, look outside the box. I used

908
00:51:13,800 --> 00:51:15,800
Speaker 1: to work in a daycare where the room I was

909
00:51:15,840 --> 00:51:19,760
Speaker 1: in charge of had twelve babies three months to sixteen

910
00:51:19,760 --> 00:51:22,200
Speaker 1: months and there were three of us. That's one adult

911
00:51:22,239 --> 00:51:24,760
Speaker 1: for every four infants, and I never had so much

912
00:51:24,920 --> 00:51:30,239
Speaker 1: fun dot dot dot Ryan. Unfortunately, we are a podcast,

913
00:51:30,480 --> 00:51:34,880
Speaker 1: so this listener who commented in that way cannot see

914
00:51:35,239 --> 00:51:38,600
Speaker 1: my eyes rolling into the back of my freaking skull

915
00:51:38,760 --> 00:51:41,439
Speaker 1: as I hear that comment, because it is the most

916
00:51:41,480 --> 00:51:44,480
Speaker 1: absurd thing I've ever heard. And I will say thank

917
00:51:44,520 --> 00:51:47,960
Speaker 1: you to all those listeners who have come out Buckley

918
00:51:48,080 --> 00:51:53,640
Speaker 1: in support of me, uh and my openness and my honesty. Uh.

919
00:51:53,760 --> 00:51:56,960
Speaker 1: There are many of you, the Ryan supporters and loyalists.

920
00:51:57,000 --> 00:52:01,560
Speaker 1: Thank you to this one single solitary contrarian out there

921
00:52:01,640 --> 00:52:03,960
Speaker 1: who came at me in this way, I would say,

922
00:52:04,239 --> 00:52:07,120
Speaker 1: sit on your thumb and rotate, because I have news

923
00:52:07,160 --> 00:52:10,600
Speaker 1: for you. You may work at your daycare, but at

924
00:52:10,640 --> 00:52:13,040
Speaker 1: the end of the day, you go home to relax,

925
00:52:13,160 --> 00:52:17,000
Speaker 1: and this is seven and you with a couple other

926
00:52:17,480 --> 00:52:21,080
Speaker 1: daycare employees watching these kids like I'm sure it was

927
00:52:21,120 --> 00:52:22,920
Speaker 1: a lot of fun, but then you went home to

928
00:52:23,040 --> 00:52:28,319
Speaker 1: your more normal, balanced life, I'm sure, I think so.

929
00:52:28,440 --> 00:52:30,919
Speaker 1: I don't buy it. I think it's like it's all

930
00:52:31,000 --> 00:52:33,120
Speaker 1: fine when there's an end in sight and you can

931
00:52:33,160 --> 00:52:35,719
Speaker 1: go back to your your less than chaotic life. But

932
00:52:35,800 --> 00:52:38,120
Speaker 1: this is all day, every day. What if she has kids,

933
00:52:38,160 --> 00:52:40,360
Speaker 1: Let's say she had two kids at home, then what

934
00:52:40,440 --> 00:52:46,319
Speaker 1: would you say? I would say, also, I I think

935
00:52:46,440 --> 00:52:49,480
Speaker 1: your kids act differently for you and are more prone

936
00:52:49,480 --> 00:52:53,080
Speaker 1: to having temper tantrums and things when they're familiar with you,

937
00:52:53,480 --> 00:52:57,319
Speaker 1: as opposed to teachers or people that are looking after

938
00:52:57,360 --> 00:53:01,640
Speaker 1: them at a daycare. They're much more respectful and they're

939
00:53:01,719 --> 00:53:05,799
Speaker 1: much less likely to far less likely to act out

940
00:53:05,960 --> 00:53:10,080
Speaker 1: when your own kids have temper tantrums because they're familiar

941
00:53:10,120 --> 00:53:13,000
Speaker 1: with you. So I don't think she's considered that either.

942
00:53:13,320 --> 00:53:16,400
Speaker 1: But these these kids were three months to sixteen months.

943
00:53:16,440 --> 00:53:19,879
Speaker 1: I don't think they have that ability to decipher, Oh,

944
00:53:19,960 --> 00:53:21,799
Speaker 1: dad's not in the room, I'm going to act out.

945
00:53:22,280 --> 00:53:24,840
Speaker 1: Their dad's in the room. I'm gonna act out. Okay,

946
00:53:24,880 --> 00:53:26,480
Speaker 1: So there are three months so they're laying on their

947
00:53:26,520 --> 00:53:30,600
Speaker 1: back and sleeping half the day. Congratulations, How difficult was

948
00:53:30,640 --> 00:53:32,000
Speaker 1: that for you? You didn't have a two and a

949
00:53:32,040 --> 00:53:35,600
Speaker 1: half year old to counterbalance the three months old three

950
00:53:35,600 --> 00:53:37,640
Speaker 1: month old to lay on their back all day and

951
00:53:37,760 --> 00:53:40,480
Speaker 1: sleep like that's the point. I'm dealing with the two

952
00:53:40,480 --> 00:53:42,440
Speaker 1: and a half year old too, who wants to run around,

953
00:53:42,719 --> 00:53:44,600
Speaker 1: who wants to hit the six month old in the head,

954
00:53:44,640 --> 00:53:47,040
Speaker 1: who wants to go outside. She's dealing with a bunch

955
00:53:47,040 --> 00:53:49,840
Speaker 1: of three year old to sleep seventy the day and

956
00:53:49,840 --> 00:53:54,600
Speaker 1: the other take a bottle. Congratulations, Brian. I have a

957
00:53:54,680 --> 00:53:59,759
Speaker 1: question for you. Does your wife ever say, like, try

958
00:54:00,040 --> 00:54:03,440
Speaker 1: giving birth to our kids? Like, does she ever like

959
00:54:03,840 --> 00:54:07,600
Speaker 1: say you need to be quiet? No, she We're in

960
00:54:07,640 --> 00:54:11,719
Speaker 1: this together. She's like, this is chaos, and that's why

961
00:54:11,760 --> 00:54:14,040
Speaker 1: we live. Legitimately, high five at the end of the

962
00:54:14,120 --> 00:54:18,520
Speaker 1: day and hug when we've put both of them down

963
00:54:18,600 --> 00:54:21,920
Speaker 1: at the same time because we finally conquered the day

964
00:54:22,040 --> 00:54:26,919
Speaker 1: and we're She doesn't look at me like I'm some extremists,

965
00:54:27,000 --> 00:54:29,920
Speaker 1: like she feels much the same way that this is

966
00:54:29,960 --> 00:54:31,919
Speaker 1: an exhausting time for us. And we will, of course

967
00:54:31,920 --> 00:54:34,520
Speaker 1: whether it will come out the other end and we'll laugh,

968
00:54:34,640 --> 00:54:37,480
Speaker 1: But in the moment, it's it's tough. I think at

969
00:54:37,480 --> 00:54:40,080
Speaker 1: the end of the day, everybody has their own experience.

970
00:54:40,200 --> 00:54:45,080
Speaker 1: I've had many friends who thought like labor was a

971
00:54:45,120 --> 00:54:47,319
Speaker 1: piece of cake, and I've had other friends who were

972
00:54:47,400 --> 00:54:50,040
Speaker 1: like that was the most traumatic experience of my life,

973
00:54:50,040 --> 00:54:52,680
Speaker 1: and it's the hardest thing. I think it's all relative

974
00:54:52,880 --> 00:54:56,680
Speaker 1: to how you deal with it. I don't know. Everyone

975
00:54:56,719 --> 00:54:59,360
Speaker 1: has their own experience. Yeah, And and also like we

976
00:54:59,400 --> 00:55:03,760
Speaker 1: have friends to have girls, and and from our experienced,

977
00:55:03,800 --> 00:55:09,359
Speaker 1: girls are much more um, calm and like We'll look

978
00:55:09,400 --> 00:55:11,560
Speaker 1: at some of our our friends kids that are girls

979
00:55:11,600 --> 00:55:13,799
Speaker 1: and they'll just like sit there and look around like

980
00:55:13,840 --> 00:55:17,719
Speaker 1: a little wall flower and like smile and like to

981
00:55:18,000 --> 00:55:21,200
Speaker 1: our boys are just like flailing, needing to be held,

982
00:55:21,239 --> 00:55:24,680
Speaker 1: wanting to be entertained. Like it's there's no just like

983
00:55:24,719 --> 00:55:29,120
Speaker 1: sitting around chilling. Okay, right, you have the toughest life

984
00:55:29,120 --> 00:55:33,319
Speaker 1: in the world. I'm not implying that. And again, I

985
00:55:33,360 --> 00:55:36,040
Speaker 1: don't want to come off as polarizing to the many

986
00:55:36,120 --> 00:55:38,360
Speaker 1: Ryan loyalists that are out there. I don't want to

987
00:55:38,400 --> 00:55:42,360
Speaker 1: alienate myself. I am just as I said, I'm trying

988
00:55:42,400 --> 00:55:45,680
Speaker 1: to be real and not sugarcoat anything and tell you

989
00:55:45,719 --> 00:55:49,440
Speaker 1: how I honestly feel. So if that's the other people

990
00:55:49,719 --> 00:55:54,120
Speaker 1: and they think I'm out of line, so be it.

991
00:55:55,680 --> 00:55:59,120
Speaker 1: I do appreciate that, right, I do appreciate that I'm

992
00:55:59,200 --> 00:56:07,360
Speaker 1: on a work We'll shower later. He needs to shower. See,

993
00:56:07,440 --> 00:56:09,839
Speaker 1: we need to shower now for you because he needs

994
00:56:09,840 --> 00:56:14,680
Speaker 1: to shower. Well, shout, we shower together, and I can't

995
00:56:14,680 --> 00:56:18,759
Speaker 1: even shower alone anymore. Well, buddy, I'm sending you a

996
00:56:18,800 --> 00:56:23,520
Speaker 1: big hug, sending you love. Man. I hope I don't

997
00:56:24,480 --> 00:56:27,520
Speaker 1: hug men that look as uncompt as you, but I'll

998
00:56:27,640 --> 00:56:31,480
Speaker 1: take it. Why is it all about looks Ryan? Why

999
00:56:31,520 --> 00:56:34,520
Speaker 1: isn't it about my heart? Your heart is hollow and

1000
00:56:34,640 --> 00:56:40,239
Speaker 1: black and hardened. Huh No it's not. But thanks buddy. Honestly, Ryan,

1001
00:56:40,360 --> 00:56:41,759
Speaker 1: I think there's a lot of people out there that

1002
00:56:41,760 --> 00:56:48,000
Speaker 1: are really struggling, UM, homeschooling, UM, distress and anxiety level.

1003
00:56:48,360 --> 00:56:51,640
Speaker 1: You know, are people what the economic conditions people are

1004
00:56:51,719 --> 00:56:53,719
Speaker 1: business owners or their job? Are they gonna keep it?

1005
00:56:53,719 --> 00:56:56,120
Speaker 1: Are they gonna lose it? Um? Just a lot of

1006
00:56:56,120 --> 00:56:58,880
Speaker 1: going and then also the health concerns. Concerned about your family,

1007
00:56:59,320 --> 00:57:01,880
Speaker 1: maybe your parents. You know, my parents are in there

1008
00:57:01,880 --> 00:57:03,960
Speaker 1: and my dad's in his late sixties. Just a concern

1009
00:57:04,000 --> 00:57:07,160
Speaker 1: they're UM. So a lot going on in the world

1010
00:57:07,520 --> 00:57:09,279
Speaker 1: and just all of our listeners, we want to send

1011
00:57:09,280 --> 00:57:12,279
Speaker 1: you guys love and support and hope. If you're in

1012
00:57:12,280 --> 00:57:14,879
Speaker 1: a time of despair, just sending you guys hope. Same

1013
00:57:14,920 --> 00:57:17,360
Speaker 1: to you, buddy. You will make it through this. Thank

1014
00:57:17,400 --> 00:57:19,560
Speaker 1: you and Brooks. I think what I took from the

1015
00:57:19,640 --> 00:57:21,840
Speaker 1: interview with stuff is that tomorrow morning, when you wake

1016
00:57:21,920 --> 00:57:26,440
Speaker 1: up and your horny, help yourself to yourself. But for you,

1017
00:57:27,240 --> 00:57:30,560
Speaker 1: just just take care of yourself. Okay, right, put me

1018
00:57:30,680 --> 00:57:35,800
Speaker 1: number one, Put me number one. UM, anybody else that Daniel,

1019
00:57:35,840 --> 00:57:37,440
Speaker 1: you have anything else you want to say on this one?

1020
00:57:37,480 --> 00:57:40,520
Speaker 1: And we wrap this. UM. I think we're I think

1021
00:57:40,600 --> 00:57:45,080
Speaker 1: Ryan needs to give his son a shower or bath. Um,

1022
00:57:45,200 --> 00:57:46,880
Speaker 1: So let's wrap this up. But I do want to

1023
00:57:46,880 --> 00:57:50,479
Speaker 1: tease that next week we have UM, we're planning something fun.

1024
00:57:50,520 --> 00:57:56,240
Speaker 1: We're doing a fun test that um or um experiment

1025
00:57:56,360 --> 00:57:58,920
Speaker 1: I guess is a better word. UM that involves a

1026
00:57:58,960 --> 00:58:03,320
Speaker 1: zoom call. So stay tuned, guys. So we haven't even

1027
00:58:03,360 --> 00:58:06,400
Speaker 1: told Ryan about this. He doesn't even know what this is.

1028
00:58:08,000 --> 00:58:11,160
Speaker 1: Actually I do know, so I'm always in the now. Brooks.

1029
00:58:11,440 --> 00:58:16,720
Speaker 1: We you're lucky we even told you. I see why

1030
00:58:16,840 --> 00:58:20,440
Speaker 1: this person said you are so negative um on the

1031
00:58:20,840 --> 00:58:26,480
Speaker 1: on Instagram. Yeah, I'm I'm team Instagram hater like right here,

1032
00:58:27,440 --> 00:58:32,400
Speaker 1: meaning you support her your AUNTI Ryan? Okay, good to

1033
00:58:32,480 --> 00:58:36,840
Speaker 1: know it's Ryan versus the world. Man, everybody in this

1034
00:58:36,880 --> 00:58:38,760
Speaker 1: world has extending you in all of branches. It's just

1035
00:58:38,840 --> 00:58:42,440
Speaker 1: continually Ryan versus the world. I'm happy to take that

1036
00:58:42,560 --> 00:58:47,400
Speaker 1: on you don't see. But that's it for this week.

1037
00:58:47,840 --> 00:58:52,360
Speaker 1: Thanks Danielle, Thanks Tory uh. Thanks. Ryan appreciates you sharing

1038
00:58:52,400 --> 00:58:54,360
Speaker 1: and hopefully that helps our community. And thank you Steph

1039
00:58:54,400 --> 00:58:56,960
Speaker 1: for coming on. So everybody that listen, thank you so much,

1040
00:58:57,000 --> 00:58:59,040
Speaker 1: sending you love and sending you hope. I hope your

1041
00:58:59,120 --> 00:59:01,560
Speaker 1: family and yourself if you're keep it well, staying safe,

1042
00:59:01,560 --> 00:59:08,720
Speaker 1: staying active. Until next week, Ryan, take care of one another,

1043
00:59:09,560 --> 00:59:12,040
Speaker 1: love one another, and we'll see you back here. Another

1044
00:59:12,080 --> 00:59:13,000
Speaker 1: episode of How Men Think