WEBVTT - Phone Tap: Squeakability

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<v Speaker 1>One eight hundred d ui Away now offering free remote

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<v Speaker 1>consultations by phone or video conference for any criminal offense.

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<v Speaker 1>Trust Brooke, Jeffrey and Jose's friends with a free remote

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<v Speaker 1>consultation from Bradley Johnson Lawyers. Visit one eight hundred d

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<v Speaker 1>Uyowa dot com or call eight hundred away. You remember

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<v Speaker 1>an elementary school, the feeling you'd have when the teacher

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<v Speaker 1>would have to move you to a different desk because

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<v Speaker 1>you were talking a lot, or you're having too much

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<v Speaker 1>fun with your friend nearby. Oh gosh, every class I

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<v Speaker 1>ended up just sitting outside by the end of that

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<v Speaker 1>makes sense. We wanted to do the adult equivalent of that. Oh.

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<v Speaker 1>We wanted to call a lady and tell her she's

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<v Speaker 1>being moved to a new area of the office and

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<v Speaker 1>it has nothing to do with her work. In fact,

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<v Speaker 1>she's been a great worker according to her boss, Nina,

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<v Speaker 1>But she's being moved because of something else, completely ridiculous,

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<v Speaker 1>something else, and the whole office is on board. In

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<v Speaker 1>your brand new phone, tap right now, it's on the twenties,

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<v Speaker 1>I'm looking to speak with Brianna. Yeah, this is her.

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<v Speaker 1>I'm Brianna work as a consultant for how are you today? Oh? Okay, good,

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<v Speaker 1>how are you? I'm pretty good. So I don't know

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<v Speaker 1>how much you know exactly about what we've been doing

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<v Speaker 1>here since your company hired us. I mean I heard

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<v Speaker 1>you're looking at workflow and just like general optimization for us. Yeah, yeah,

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<v Speaker 1>that's true. That's why we've recommended to your superiors that

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<v Speaker 1>you moved to a different office. What's light. Well, you know,

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<v Speaker 1>there's a lot that goes into it, but it's just

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<v Speaker 1>thank you. But like, I like my office and I

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<v Speaker 1>don't really want to move. Well, I like my ex

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<v Speaker 1>wife too, but she moved. So that's how the world works.

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<v Speaker 1>I understand the reference. Yeah, it doesn't really matter. But

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<v Speaker 1>throughout our time here, looking at all the different factors,

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<v Speaker 1>we've found that worker productivity was down seven percent whenever

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<v Speaker 1>you were in the office. What yeah, me, Unfortunately you.

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<v Speaker 1>But it's not really you, you, it's your shoes. You

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<v Speaker 1>my shoes. Yeah, so according to your co workers, they say,

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<v Speaker 1>whenever you walk around by their cubicles, your shoes squeak.

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<v Speaker 1>What my shoes? You didn't know that, No, I've never

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<v Speaker 1>heard of that before. Like, I have new shoes, but

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<v Speaker 1>they're not squeaking. They're just new shoes. Interesting because I

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<v Speaker 1>have audio if you want to hear it, someone taps

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<v Speaker 1>audio of my shoes squeaking here, just listen. Okay, what yeah?

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<v Speaker 1>You hear that? No, those aren't just okay, stop that.

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<v Speaker 1>Those aren't my shoes. Sorry, I couldn't hear you over

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<v Speaker 1>the squeaking noises. Those who are my shoes? Oh yeah, no,

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<v Speaker 1>you're right, those weren't your shoes. Technically we pulled audio

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<v Speaker 1>off YouTube to give it to you as an example,

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<v Speaker 1>but yours are really similar. I don't understand. Like you're

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<v Speaker 1>calling me telling me you're moving me to because my

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<v Speaker 1>shoes are squeaky, and then you're playing fake audio from

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<v Speaker 1>YouTube about shoes. What is this even? Well, what is this?

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<v Speaker 1>It sounds like you're kind of getting it. Obviously, they're

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<v Speaker 1>squeaky enough to distract your coworkers, and then on top

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<v Speaker 1>of that, they spend time gossiping about it behind your back,

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<v Speaker 1>which maybe I shouldn't have told you that, but that's

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<v Speaker 1>what contributes to the seven percent decrease in productivity. It's

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<v Speaker 1>not just the shoes, it's all the time spent gossiping

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<v Speaker 1>about your shoes. So are you saying like one person

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<v Speaker 1>complaint about my shoes squeaking or a lot of people didn't.

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<v Speaker 1>Unfortunately that information is confidential, but I will say it's

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<v Speaker 1>more than a dozen. A dozen, Like, more than twelve

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<v Speaker 1>people said this, that's what a dozen means. Yes, unbelievable.

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<v Speaker 1>So now you can see why productivity has taken a

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<v Speaker 1>nose dive. I find it hard to believe that the

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<v Speaker 1>company is suffering because of the shoes I'm wearing. Well, like,

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<v Speaker 1>I can wear different shoes, that's what we thought too,

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<v Speaker 1>But then according to our statistics, you wore three different

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<v Speaker 1>pairs of shoes last week, and what you're stocking my shoes? Like? Yeah, see, Brianna,

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<v Speaker 1>your shoes have a squeakability actor of eight, and we

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<v Speaker 1>need you to wear ones that are at least a

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<v Speaker 1>three or lower. I'm sorry. You have a rating system

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<v Speaker 1>that's right, and you're off the charts on it. So

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<v Speaker 1>if you could bring your squeak ability down to a

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<v Speaker 1>three or ideally a one, what am I supposed to

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<v Speaker 1>do go to the store and rate my squeaky shoes? Well, no,

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<v Speaker 1>we have a guy here that can rate it for you.

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<v Speaker 1>Just have to walk by him a couple times and

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<v Speaker 1>he'll tell you what your number is? God, I don't

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<v Speaker 1>even feel like this is real. Like, what am I

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<v Speaker 1>supposed to do? Take some random Yeah, well he's a

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<v Speaker 1>foot guy. Excuse me. Look, you don't have to get

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<v Speaker 1>all hysterical on me. Here the good news. Okay, whoa

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<v Speaker 1>not hysterical. You're telling maybe that my job is going

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<v Speaker 1>to change because of my shoes. Well, your job isn't changing.

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<v Speaker 1>You're just moving locations. We're gonna put you on the

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<v Speaker 1>vacant floor on level five. You're making me move two

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<v Speaker 1>floors down. It's the only place where your squeaky shoes

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<v Speaker 1>aren't going to affect anybody. I can't even believe in

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<v Speaker 1>having a conversation about this. This is insane. I can't

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<v Speaker 1>believe it. Oh my god, can you stop playing that

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<v Speaker 1>they aren't even my shoes? Shoot? Sorry, I hit the

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<v Speaker 1>button there. I've been taping this whole conversation too, so

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<v Speaker 1>you've been taping this cop for what. I'm not really

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<v Speaker 1>consultant for your company. My name is jeff and I

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<v Speaker 1>work for the radio show Brooke and Jeffrey. In the morning,

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<v Speaker 1>I'm doing a phone tap on you. Oh my god, Dorry,

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<v Speaker 1>it is a joke, though, Nina set you up because

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<v Speaker 1>she said you've been wearing some new shoes they're squeaky,

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<v Speaker 1>and wanted to mess with you. I'm just okay, what

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<v Speaker 1>the heck is the deal with this consultant just playing

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<v Speaker 1>some random audio that aren't even my excuse me, what

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<v Speaker 1>what were you saying? The squeakability is off the charts

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<v Speaker 1>right now? Oh my god, the squeakability get out. The

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<v Speaker 1>week of every morning was phone taps weekday mornings on

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<v Speaker 1>the twenty Brook and Jeffrey in the Morning