Speaker 1: One eight hundred d ui Away now offering free remote
Speaker 1: consultations by phone or video conference for any criminal offense.
Speaker 1: Trust Brooke, Jeffrey and Jose's friends with a free remote
Speaker 1: consultation from Bradley Johnson Lawyers. Visit one eight hundred d
Speaker 1: Uyowa dot com or call eight hundred away. You remember
Speaker 1: an elementary school, the feeling you'd have when the teacher
Speaker 1: would have to move you to a different desk because
Speaker 1: you were talking a lot, or you're having too much
Speaker 1: fun with your friend nearby. Oh gosh, every class I
Speaker 1: ended up just sitting outside by the end of that
Speaker 1: makes sense. We wanted to do the adult equivalent of that. Oh.
Speaker 1: We wanted to call a lady and tell her she's
Speaker 1: being moved to a new area of the office and
Speaker 1: it has nothing to do with her work. In fact,
Speaker 1: she's been a great worker according to her boss, Nina,
Speaker 1: But she's being moved because of something else, completely ridiculous,
Speaker 1: something else, and the whole office is on board. In
Speaker 1: your brand new phone, tap right now, it's on the twenties,
Speaker 1: I'm looking to speak with Brianna. Yeah, this is her.
Speaker 1: I'm Brianna work as a consultant for how are you today? Oh? Okay, good,
Speaker 1: how are you? I'm pretty good. So I don't know
Speaker 1: how much you know exactly about what we've been doing
Speaker 1: here since your company hired us. I mean I heard
Speaker 1: you're looking at workflow and just like general optimization for us. Yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: that's true. That's why we've recommended to your superiors that
Speaker 1: you moved to a different office. What's light. Well, you know,
Speaker 1: there's a lot that goes into it, but it's just
Speaker 1: thank you. But like, I like my office and I
Speaker 1: don't really want to move. Well, I like my ex
Speaker 1: wife too, but she moved. So that's how the world works.
Speaker 1: I understand the reference. Yeah, it doesn't really matter. But
Speaker 1: throughout our time here, looking at all the different factors,
Speaker 1: we've found that worker productivity was down seven percent whenever
Speaker 1: you were in the office. What yeah, me, Unfortunately you.
Speaker 1: But it's not really you, you, it's your shoes. You
Speaker 1: my shoes. Yeah, so according to your co workers, they say,
Speaker 1: whenever you walk around by their cubicles, your shoes squeak.
Speaker 1: What my shoes? You didn't know that, No, I've never
Speaker 1: heard of that before. Like, I have new shoes, but
Speaker 1: they're not squeaking. They're just new shoes. Interesting because I
Speaker 1: have audio if you want to hear it, someone taps
Speaker 1: audio of my shoes squeaking here, just listen. Okay, what yeah?
Speaker 1: You hear that? No, those aren't just okay, stop that.
Speaker 1: Those aren't my shoes. Sorry, I couldn't hear you over
Speaker 1: the squeaking noises. Those who are my shoes? Oh yeah, no,
Speaker 1: you're right, those weren't your shoes. Technically we pulled audio
Speaker 1: off YouTube to give it to you as an example,
Speaker 1: but yours are really similar. I don't understand. Like you're
Speaker 1: calling me telling me you're moving me to because my
Speaker 1: shoes are squeaky, and then you're playing fake audio from
Speaker 1: YouTube about shoes. What is this even? Well, what is this?
Speaker 1: It sounds like you're kind of getting it. Obviously, they're
Speaker 1: squeaky enough to distract your coworkers, and then on top
Speaker 1: of that, they spend time gossiping about it behind your back,
Speaker 1: which maybe I shouldn't have told you that, but that's
Speaker 1: what contributes to the seven percent decrease in productivity. It's
Speaker 1: not just the shoes, it's all the time spent gossiping
Speaker 1: about your shoes. So are you saying like one person
Speaker 1: complaint about my shoes squeaking or a lot of people didn't.
Speaker 1: Unfortunately that information is confidential, but I will say it's
Speaker 1: more than a dozen. A dozen, Like, more than twelve
Speaker 1: people said this, that's what a dozen means. Yes, unbelievable.
Speaker 1: So now you can see why productivity has taken a
Speaker 1: nose dive. I find it hard to believe that the
Speaker 1: company is suffering because of the shoes I'm wearing. Well, like,
Speaker 1: I can wear different shoes, that's what we thought too,
Speaker 1: But then according to our statistics, you wore three different
Speaker 1: pairs of shoes last week, and what you're stocking my shoes? Like? Yeah, see, Brianna,
Speaker 1: your shoes have a squeakability actor of eight, and we
Speaker 1: need you to wear ones that are at least a
Speaker 1: three or lower. I'm sorry. You have a rating system
Speaker 1: that's right, and you're off the charts on it. So
Speaker 1: if you could bring your squeak ability down to a
Speaker 1: three or ideally a one, what am I supposed to
Speaker 1: do go to the store and rate my squeaky shoes? Well, no,
Speaker 1: we have a guy here that can rate it for you.
Speaker 1: Just have to walk by him a couple times and
Speaker 1: he'll tell you what your number is? God, I don't
Speaker 1: even feel like this is real. Like, what am I
Speaker 1: supposed to do? Take some random Yeah, well he's a
Speaker 1: foot guy. Excuse me. Look, you don't have to get
Speaker 1: all hysterical on me. Here the good news. Okay, whoa
Speaker 1: not hysterical. You're telling maybe that my job is going
Speaker 1: to change because of my shoes. Well, your job isn't changing.
Speaker 1: You're just moving locations. We're gonna put you on the
Speaker 1: vacant floor on level five. You're making me move two
Speaker 1: floors down. It's the only place where your squeaky shoes
Speaker 1: aren't going to affect anybody. I can't even believe in
Speaker 1: having a conversation about this. This is insane. I can't
Speaker 1: believe it. Oh my god, can you stop playing that
Speaker 1: they aren't even my shoes? Shoot? Sorry, I hit the
Speaker 1: button there. I've been taping this whole conversation too, so
Speaker 1: you've been taping this cop for what. I'm not really
Speaker 1: consultant for your company. My name is jeff and I
Speaker 1: work for the radio show Brooke and Jeffrey. In the morning,
Speaker 1: I'm doing a phone tap on you. Oh my god, Dorry,
Speaker 1: it is a joke, though, Nina set you up because
Speaker 1: she said you've been wearing some new shoes they're squeaky,
Speaker 1: and wanted to mess with you. I'm just okay, what
Speaker 1: the heck is the deal with this consultant just playing
Speaker 1: some random audio that aren't even my excuse me, what
Speaker 1: what were you saying? The squeakability is off the charts
Speaker 1: right now? Oh my god, the squeakability get out. The
Speaker 1: week of every morning was phone taps weekday mornings on
Speaker 1: the twenty Brook and Jeffrey in the Morning