WEBVTT - Welcome Back 0:00:00.400 --> 0:00:06.320 Contrary to popular demand, life does not revolve around content. 0:00:07.520 --> 0:00:08.680 It's the other way around. 0:00:09.320 --> 0:00:15.280 That is a fact, and the lack of engagement on 0:00:15.280 --> 0:00:19.639 social media lately, it kind of feels right in a 0:00:19.640 --> 0:00:21.040 world that feels like it's. 0:00:23.760 --> 0:00:25.880 Yeah ye, dead Ass. 0:00:28.440 --> 0:00:31.560 It all started with real talk, unfiltered, honest and straight 0:00:31.560 --> 0:00:33.600 from the heart. Since then, we've gone on to become 0:00:33.640 --> 0:00:37.040 Webby award winning podcasters in New York Times bestselling authors. 0:00:37.120 --> 0:00:39.599 Dead Ass was more than a podcast for us. It 0:00:39.720 --> 0:00:43.080 was about our growth, a place where we could be vulnerable. 0:00:42.680 --> 0:00:45.920 Be wrong, or but most apportantly be us. 0:00:45.960 --> 0:00:48.680 But as we know, life keeps evolving and so do 0:00:48.720 --> 0:00:51.960 we and through it all, one thing has never changed. 0:00:52.440 --> 0:00:58.960 This because we got a lot to talk about story time. 0:00:59.160 --> 0:01:04.520 So this episode's gonna be extremely different, namely because we 0:01:04.600 --> 0:01:06.160 just don't want to do everything the same way we 0:01:06.160 --> 0:01:08.560 did before. We've been going for about what five weeks now, 0:01:09.080 --> 0:01:10.759 and we just think it's important to, you know, talk 0:01:10.800 --> 0:01:12.400 to everybody and let you know what we've been going 0:01:12.440 --> 0:01:13.560 through as a as a. 0:01:13.520 --> 0:01:15.920 Team of people. I don't like saying his staff because 0:01:15.959 --> 0:01:16.560 we're family. 0:01:17.240 --> 0:01:20.000 So baby, I'm gonna start with you, man, give me 0:01:20.000 --> 0:01:22.560 a storytime what's been going on for the past five weeks? 0:01:22.760 --> 0:01:25.679 All right, I'll keep it short, but five weeks for me, 0:01:25.720 --> 0:01:30.200 it's more like seven months since September Dad having his stroke, 0:01:30.240 --> 0:01:32.080 and it just kind of feeling like blow after blow 0:01:32.120 --> 0:01:36.200 after blow after blow, not just within our household, but 0:01:36.360 --> 0:01:40.960 just you know, with people around me, losing about four 0:01:41.280 --> 0:01:45.120 maybe five loved ones over the past seven months, the 0:01:45.160 --> 0:01:48.920 hurricane in Jamaica taking a toll on people who I 0:01:48.960 --> 0:01:51.400 love and care about down there, trying to send aid, 0:01:53.080 --> 0:01:56.760 dealing with grief, you know, seeing my dad through his 0:01:56.920 --> 0:01:59.760 treatment with oral cancer. 0:02:01.040 --> 0:02:01.880 It's been a lot. 0:02:01.920 --> 0:02:04.400 Filming a season of television in the middle of all 0:02:04.400 --> 0:02:06.680 of this and trying to pick up the pieces and 0:02:07.600 --> 0:02:11.280 pretend to feel a sense of normalcy that I know 0:02:12.080 --> 0:02:14.280 was not in me. I guess that's a good thing. 0:02:14.320 --> 0:02:16.000 I'm an actress, right, But I had a lot to 0:02:16.040 --> 0:02:20.280 pull from this season, so Geneva was on its season two. 0:02:20.280 --> 0:02:22.840 But it's just been a lot to juggle, Yeah, with 0:02:22.919 --> 0:02:25.520 the kids, family, people around me. 0:02:27.160 --> 0:02:28.120 Yeah, it's been a lot. 0:02:28.560 --> 0:02:30.160 If I'm keeping it short, but we can go into 0:02:30.160 --> 0:02:33.040 more once the the Meatia the show starts. Cool. 0:02:35.160 --> 0:02:40.360 Last five six weeks, Yeah, my dad died. 0:02:41.520 --> 0:02:43.880 Yeah, that's pretty much how I've been talking about it 0:02:44.880 --> 0:02:48.320 because it's crazy, it's insane. 0:02:50.280 --> 0:02:55.480 It was totally unexpected. That's pretty much. That's it. 0:02:55.600 --> 0:02:57.880 Like he was here too. 0:02:57.840 --> 0:02:58.640 Yeah, he was here. 0:02:58.680 --> 0:03:02.480 He was visiting me and at for my stepmom's birthday. 0:03:02.560 --> 0:03:04.360 He came down with my step mom and my brother 0:03:04.800 --> 0:03:07.760 and my dad. He doesn't like to go anywhere, so 0:03:08.400 --> 0:03:09.400 it was kind of. 0:03:09.280 --> 0:03:10.920 Like pulling teeth to get him to come. 0:03:11.440 --> 0:03:14.480 But he was like, oh, yeah, I'll go, and we 0:03:14.480 --> 0:03:17.440 were all like, oh, wow, he's coming, so like, you know. 0:03:17.520 --> 0:03:18.880 Let's tread lightly. 0:03:19.160 --> 0:03:22.400 And then they were supposed to drive, but at the 0:03:22.480 --> 0:03:26.760 last minute, my dad bought everybody flights to come down, 0:03:27.320 --> 0:03:29.000 so I was like, wow, this is dope, you know. 0:03:30.040 --> 0:03:35.400 But when he got when they got to the airport, 0:03:35.440 --> 0:03:37.200 they ended up having to give him a wheelchair. He 0:03:37.280 --> 0:03:41.840 was like having trouble breathing and we just thought he 0:03:41.920 --> 0:03:45.440 had COPD but it was mild COPD. 0:03:45.520 --> 0:03:46.920 It's never bothered him. 0:03:47.040 --> 0:03:50.200 He was a smoker. Yeah, okay, his. 0:03:50.200 --> 0:03:54.880 COPD hadn't bothered him before, so, you know, and he 0:03:55.000 --> 0:03:58.240 had just gone to the doctor to check on his 0:03:58.400 --> 0:04:00.720 COPD and they were like, you know, fine, they gave 0:04:00.760 --> 0:04:03.800 him an inhaler, which was supposed to be enough for him. 0:04:03.840 --> 0:04:10.120 But so they got down here Thursday. It was really nice. 0:04:10.160 --> 0:04:13.800 It felt really good to me because I realized, like 0:04:14.120 --> 0:04:17.360 me and my dad are a lot alike. And I 0:04:17.600 --> 0:04:23.840 was like making this video where I said, like, I 0:04:23.880 --> 0:04:28.120 feel like myself the most when I'm around my dad, 0:04:29.920 --> 0:04:32.320 and I was like, I had been really sad and 0:04:32.480 --> 0:04:35.440 just depressed, you know, just like not feeling like myself. 0:04:35.680 --> 0:04:38.000 And I was so happy that my dad was here. 0:04:39.360 --> 0:04:43.479 But Friday, we were getting ready to go out and 0:04:43.520 --> 0:04:46.520 do something and he got dressed and walked from the 0:04:46.560 --> 0:04:49.480 bathroom to my couch and he was winded. And I'm like, 0:04:49.560 --> 0:04:52.280 what's going on with you? Why are you winded? He like, yeah, 0:04:52.360 --> 0:04:54.800 like I think the COPD done kicked in in the 0:04:54.880 --> 0:04:55.520 last week. 0:04:56.000 --> 0:05:00.000 So I'm like, wow, this is kind of crazy. 0:05:00.960 --> 0:05:04.039 And my you know, my dad or my stepmom and 0:05:04.080 --> 0:05:05.919 my brother wanted to go to the mall. I'm like this, 0:05:06.080 --> 0:05:11.520 think can't walk around the mall. But you know, he 0:05:11.640 --> 0:05:15.200 like made his way. He sat down. We spent Saturday together. 0:05:15.320 --> 0:05:18.400 We had a really fun time. On Saturday, we went 0:05:18.440 --> 0:05:21.800 and made perfume. He didn't make any because he was like, 0:05:21.839 --> 0:05:26.960 I can't smell anything, but he like treated us all 0:05:27.000 --> 0:05:29.000 to this you know excursion. 0:05:30.400 --> 0:05:32.000 He we went out. 0:05:31.960 --> 0:05:35.320 For lunch that day and he wasn't really eating either, 0:05:35.360 --> 0:05:39.359 which was weird. And I was just I was like 0:05:39.920 --> 0:05:43.159 very worried about him because I've never seen him, like 0:05:44.360 --> 0:05:46.320 I've always said, like, my dad is invincible. 0:05:46.560 --> 0:05:49.200 Like was it did you have a concern or was 0:05:49.240 --> 0:05:51.839 it like but you had a concern, but you still felt. 0:05:51.680 --> 0:05:53.839 Like that's my dad. I'm just fine. 0:05:54.040 --> 0:05:56.839 I had a concern, Like I had a really big concern. 0:05:57.040 --> 0:06:00.479 I wanted him to go to the doctor. But my 0:06:00.520 --> 0:06:02.279 Stepmi was like, we're going to take him to the 0:06:02.279 --> 0:06:05.000 doctor when we get back to check on his COPD. 0:06:05.680 --> 0:06:08.600 And I was like, you know, because when we walked 0:06:08.640 --> 0:06:10.680 to my car, he was like, oh, I'm sweating already. 0:06:10.720 --> 0:06:12.960 And I started like looking at his fingers because I 0:06:13.000 --> 0:06:15.800 have you know, I have panic attacks, and when I 0:06:15.839 --> 0:06:17.960 have panic attacks, what I think is happening is that 0:06:18.000 --> 0:06:19.000 I'm having a heart attack. 0:06:19.600 --> 0:06:23.120 So I know the symptoms of a heart attack, right, And. 0:06:23.120 --> 0:06:24.839 So I'm looking at his fingers to see if his 0:06:25.520 --> 0:06:30.760 nail beds are purple, you know, and he just you know, 0:06:31.279 --> 0:06:34.440 I was like, it's just the COPD. 0:06:35.400 --> 0:06:38.600 You think you told yourself that or I told. 0:06:38.360 --> 0:06:40.760 Myself that, and everybody else was kind of like, yeah, 0:06:40.760 --> 0:06:43.560 it's probably COPD. Because my dad is you know, he 0:06:43.640 --> 0:06:50.520 goes to the doctor regularly, and so he was like rallying, 0:06:50.920 --> 0:06:52.560 you know. He didn't really want to do anything when 0:06:52.560 --> 0:06:54.080 we were in the house. He would just lay down 0:06:54.120 --> 0:06:57.159 and watch TV. And I was like entertaining him. I 0:06:57.200 --> 0:06:59.680 showed him my hot sauce collection and he thought it 0:06:59.720 --> 0:07:11.200 was I see. And then Sunday morning, my stepmom is 0:07:11.240 --> 0:07:14.119 a member of a church down here, so she wanted 0:07:14.120 --> 0:07:16.800 to go to church and we're supposed to cook out. 0:07:16.840 --> 0:07:19.679 I had gotten some steak and lobster tails to grill 0:07:19.760 --> 0:07:22.840 out for us for her birthday and for Super Bowl, 0:07:23.000 --> 0:07:26.120 and my dad in the morning, he said he didn't 0:07:26.120 --> 0:07:28.160 want to go. He didn't feel like getting up. He's 0:07:28.160 --> 0:07:30.520 not a morning person. So that wasn't odd at all. 0:07:31.440 --> 0:07:36.760 And so we came back from church and we're like 0:07:36.840 --> 0:07:39.640 laughing and giggling, you know, it's a regular day, and 0:07:40.480 --> 0:07:43.080 my brother was like, where's Dad, And we look and 0:07:43.120 --> 0:07:49.200 he's on the couch, and my stepmom is like tony, and. 0:07:51.400 --> 0:07:56.040 She like goes to he was like slumped over, and 0:07:56.120 --> 0:07:56.920 so she goes to. 0:07:56.960 --> 0:08:01.600 Like, like, you know, move him, and he just kind 0:08:01.600 --> 0:08:05.800 of falls over, and so it became a parent that 0:08:05.880 --> 0:08:09.720 he was unconscious, and so we started trying to give 0:08:09.800 --> 0:08:13.320 him CPR and like doing chest compressions. 0:08:13.320 --> 0:08:14.440 I had to call nine one one. 0:08:14.520 --> 0:08:16.960 My building is really secure, so I had to keep 0:08:17.000 --> 0:08:20.320 going back and forth to try to let people in. 0:08:20.520 --> 0:08:26.320 And yeah, he died on my floor in my apartment. 0:08:27.000 --> 0:08:27.480 And. 0:08:29.160 --> 0:08:33.959 It was it's I don't know, my heart is just broken. 0:08:34.440 --> 0:08:38.440 As you see, life is not dictating this content. You 0:08:38.480 --> 0:08:40.880 know what I'm saying, Well, the content is not dictating life. 0:08:41.520 --> 0:08:42.199 Things really be. 0:08:42.160 --> 0:08:44.880 Happening to people, and it happened to us. It's been 0:08:44.880 --> 0:08:46.680 happening in the case, it's been happening in Trouble. So 0:08:46.679 --> 0:08:48.880 we're gonna take this time, take a quick break. When 0:08:48.880 --> 0:08:52.160 we come back. Thank you Trouble for being willing to 0:08:52.200 --> 0:08:53.920 talk about this. Thank you, k I know you're willing 0:08:53.960 --> 0:08:55.319 to talk about everything going with that, But when we 0:08:55.360 --> 0:08:58.079 get back, we'll just talk about everything that's been happening 0:08:58.120 --> 0:08:58.679 for the past. 0:08:58.520 --> 0:08:59.280 Couple of weeks. 0:08:59.679 --> 0:09:00.840 Cool, stick around, y'all. 0:09:00.840 --> 0:09:01.280 We'll be back. 0:09:04.360 --> 0:09:07.200 So we're back. The first thing that I thought about 0:09:07.400 --> 0:09:11.960 was let's get into karaoke real quick, and then after karaoke. 0:09:12.720 --> 0:09:15.360 There's a reason why YouTube stories kind of hit me, 0:09:16.160 --> 0:09:18.040 and I want to get into why both of the 0:09:18.120 --> 0:09:21.160 stories kind of hit me. There's something that Tripple said 0:09:21.400 --> 0:09:23.920 that reminded me of something that Josh said when we 0:09:23.920 --> 0:09:28.040 were here with Dad, which if you think about the differences, 0:09:28.679 --> 0:09:31.680 you can you know, it's important for people to understand 0:09:31.720 --> 0:09:35.079 when to look for those those signs that Triple talked about, 0:09:35.120 --> 0:09:35.400 like the. 0:09:35.360 --> 0:09:37.319 Fingernails and all those things. I just want to get 0:09:37.320 --> 0:09:39.040 back to so we can get to all right. 0:09:40.400 --> 0:09:40.760 Karaoke. 0:09:40.880 --> 0:09:43.520 Yeah, I mean I thought about the hiatus that we 0:09:43.600 --> 0:09:46.040 kind of were kind of forced to be on, you know, 0:09:46.480 --> 0:09:49.719 just because of everything. So mad me think of a 0:09:49.720 --> 0:09:52.520 little snow Alegra. Well it wasn't snow Legra first, who's 0:09:52.520 --> 0:09:55.720 saying this? Originally I should have looked it up, I 0:09:55.760 --> 0:10:01.920 guess you wondered. Whereas, Yeah, I surged to find the 0:10:02.040 --> 0:10:04.640 love with it. You know, I do know that one 0:10:05.520 --> 0:10:07.520 I came back to let you know. 0:10:08.000 --> 0:10:10.160 Or let you know, I got a thing. 0:10:10.280 --> 0:10:14.840 For you, and she did a great version of it. 0:10:14.920 --> 0:10:16.840 She did it got famous on TikTok. 0:10:17.360 --> 0:10:23.800 Yeah, she did a cover got Famous Originator, Yes, the Originator. 0:10:23.800 --> 0:10:27.839 I think it's on my oldiest playlist. Yeah, I just 0:10:27.840 --> 0:10:31.000 couldn't place the name. But so that's where we've been, y'all. 0:10:31.040 --> 0:10:32.600 We've been. We've been present. 0:10:32.760 --> 0:10:35.560 Yeah, we're super present for each other. 0:10:35.800 --> 0:10:37.200 Yeah for sure, Triple. 0:10:37.200 --> 0:10:39.520 I'm gonna let you get back to finishing your story 0:10:39.520 --> 0:10:41.320 and then we can jump back in there. So when 0:10:41.360 --> 0:10:44.440 we were coming out of were going in to break you, 0:10:44.480 --> 0:10:47.320 I said that your heart is broken, and I know you. 0:10:47.360 --> 0:10:49.680 I've known you now for I think seven going on 0:10:49.760 --> 0:10:53.280 eight years, and you always deal with everything with humor. 0:10:54.040 --> 0:10:56.920 And I've watched you online actually the day it happened, 0:10:57.679 --> 0:11:00.840 and we were all watching online because we know we 0:11:01.040 --> 0:11:03.440 like your family, so we're like, yo, let's check in 0:11:03.480 --> 0:11:05.920 on Trible, see how she's doing. And you're just making jokes, 0:11:06.000 --> 0:11:08.840 posting pictures. And the first thing I thought was like, 0:11:08.880 --> 0:11:10.960 this is how Triple grieves. I wouldn't expect it to 0:11:11.000 --> 0:11:13.080 be any other way. So can you talk a little 0:11:13.080 --> 0:11:14.920 bit about you know, what it's been like. 0:11:14.960 --> 0:11:16.560 And even from that day. 0:11:16.760 --> 0:11:18.760 Sorry, real quick, are we supposed to break after karaoke? 0:11:18.840 --> 0:11:19.679 To do? 0:11:19.720 --> 0:11:20.400 We need a break. 0:11:20.600 --> 0:11:21.200 No, we're good. 0:11:21.240 --> 0:11:23.200 Okay, yeah, we're good. We could just use that break. 0:11:26.760 --> 0:11:31.000 Yeah, the humor almost came like from the shock of it. 0:11:31.800 --> 0:11:35.000 It was shocking and it was so crazy, like it 0:11:35.040 --> 0:11:37.480 was low key rude of him to die. 0:11:37.480 --> 0:11:45.360 In my part, it's not the most triple thing. 0:11:43.640 --> 0:11:43.880 Yeah. 0:11:45.720 --> 0:11:47.640 Yeah. 0:11:47.960 --> 0:11:50.240 Something that I've been thinking about too, is that, Like 0:11:51.559 --> 0:11:54.920 something that happened immediately when my dad died was people 0:11:55.160 --> 0:11:59.000 started showing up for me at times when it was inconvenient. 0:11:59.559 --> 0:12:04.560 Came over and Sakari came over immediately when I told 0:12:04.640 --> 0:12:08.680 y'all what was going on. I had a friend who 0:12:08.760 --> 0:12:12.120 has a newborn who flew down from Boston like the 0:12:12.160 --> 0:12:14.280 next day just to make sure that we were eating 0:12:14.360 --> 0:12:15.560 and taking care of that's right. 0:12:15.720 --> 0:12:16.720 She came by. 0:12:17.080 --> 0:12:18.000 Yeah, I had friends. 0:12:18.120 --> 0:12:22.080 When I went to Cincinnati, my friends came and took 0:12:22.120 --> 0:12:26.000 me bowling, just you know, and they got me drunk 0:12:26.000 --> 0:12:28.719 as hell and they let me They let me give 0:12:28.840 --> 0:12:30.320 like a thirty minute speech. I don't know what I 0:12:30.360 --> 0:12:30.880 was talking about. 0:12:32.360 --> 0:12:33.520 It's the best kind of company. 0:12:34.160 --> 0:12:36.640 Did you lose something to you lost something? 0:12:37.400 --> 0:12:38.240 Did I lose something? 0:12:38.360 --> 0:12:40.440 Did you post it online after you went bowling? 0:12:40.480 --> 0:12:40.920 I remember that. 0:12:43.280 --> 0:12:48.280 Yeah, I've forgotten when I lost it wasn't that important 0:12:48.280 --> 0:12:50.400 because I've also just gotten myself a bunch of treats 0:12:50.400 --> 0:12:54.200 since then. But so I've been saying, like, you know, 0:12:54.320 --> 0:12:59.600 there's a Japanese art called Katsugi where they men broken 0:12:59.640 --> 0:13:03.319 potter with gold, and so I've been saying, my heart 0:13:03.400 --> 0:13:06.920 is like I'm letting gratitude fill the spaces where my 0:13:06.960 --> 0:13:10.880 heart has been broken, like the Japanese art of Katsugi, 0:13:10.880 --> 0:13:16.240 because I'm like extremely grateful for how people have shown up. 0:13:16.360 --> 0:13:19.440 And another thing that happened almost immediately was that, like 0:13:20.960 --> 0:13:24.800 people always say, losing a parent is wild and you 0:13:24.920 --> 0:13:29.120 really don't know until you know. And something that happened 0:13:29.440 --> 0:13:31.400 was that I was able to see my dad for 0:13:31.440 --> 0:13:33.280 who he was and not just who he was to me. 0:13:34.200 --> 0:13:36.680 And my dad was a. 0:13:38.320 --> 0:13:43.200 Super super loving person and he was the best dad, 0:13:43.280 --> 0:13:45.360 and he loved being a dad, and he wasn't just 0:13:45.400 --> 0:13:48.440 a dad to me and my brothers anybody who needed 0:13:48.480 --> 0:13:51.120 a dad. Like his oldest brother passed away in ninety six. 0:13:51.160 --> 0:13:54.319 He had three sons. My dad has been their dad 0:13:54.520 --> 0:13:58.640 since since he passed. His best friend wasn't really around 0:13:58.679 --> 0:14:02.280 a lot. He's a truck driver, so his son sent 0:14:02.320 --> 0:14:04.960 me a picture. He must have been like five years old. 0:14:05.160 --> 0:14:07.160 Him and my dad were in tuxedos. My dad had 0:14:07.160 --> 0:14:10.079 taken him to like a father son dance or something 0:14:10.120 --> 0:14:12.679 like that, and he was saying, like, you know, your 0:14:12.720 --> 0:14:14.120 dad made me feel like the fly. 0:14:14.080 --> 0:14:14.800 Is kid alive. 0:14:15.000 --> 0:14:18.679 He took me in a Cadillac Limo and you know, like, 0:14:19.240 --> 0:14:21.880 and my dad's funeral was packed full of people that 0:14:21.960 --> 0:14:24.600 he's known since he was a kid. People were coming 0:14:24.680 --> 0:14:25.880 up to me like, oh, me and your dad went 0:14:25.920 --> 0:14:30.440 to elementary school together, you know, And it made me 0:14:30.560 --> 0:14:36.680 realize just how much legacy my dad did leave with me. 0:14:37.040 --> 0:14:39.680 You know, he didn't leave money. My dad barely graduated 0:14:39.720 --> 0:14:42.000 from high school. He would always be like, I have 0:14:42.040 --> 0:14:44.280 an eighth grade education. He would always be like, I 0:14:44.360 --> 0:14:52.040 can't read for real, Like yeah, yeah. He was extremely 0:14:52.120 --> 0:14:56.120 silly and it's very funny and I do get that 0:14:56.200 --> 0:14:59.960 from him. But he also taught me how to build 0:15:00.160 --> 0:15:03.360 community and how to be somebody that your people can 0:15:03.480 --> 0:15:08.560 rely on. And just seeing how people showed up for 0:15:08.680 --> 0:15:11.280 me was a reflection of, you know, the kind of 0:15:11.360 --> 0:15:14.880 person that I am to them. And I am that 0:15:14.960 --> 0:15:17.720 type of person because that's who my dad was, and 0:15:17.760 --> 0:15:21.440 that's who he taught me to be. So you know, 0:15:22.280 --> 0:15:26.240 amongst the grief and the guilt, because there is guilt 0:15:26.800 --> 0:15:30.400 for you know, just guilt. He died because he had 0:15:30.720 --> 0:15:36.200 blood clots DVT deep vein thrumbo and then in hindsight, 0:15:36.280 --> 0:15:38.960 he was saying things where I was like, oh my god, 0:15:39.680 --> 0:15:42.640 like it was obvious. 0:15:41.720 --> 0:15:43.520 Based on the symptoms that he was complaining of. 0:15:43.680 --> 0:15:46.640 Yeah, this is what I wanted to talk about because 0:15:46.680 --> 0:15:49.160 of what you said, you started going through and you 0:15:49.200 --> 0:15:50.400 felt like something. 0:15:51.160 --> 0:15:54.200 Remember when your dad was tripping up the stairs. 0:15:53.840 --> 0:15:56.800 And Josh was like, y'all need to go check on that, 0:15:57.040 --> 0:15:59.840 and all of us immediately stopped doing the podcast and 0:15:59.840 --> 0:16:03.280 we all went up to check. It was funny that 0:16:03.280 --> 0:16:07.440 that's what parents need in nowadays, like all parents. 0:16:07.240 --> 0:16:08.400 Not just sick parents. 0:16:08.920 --> 0:16:11.160 If you notice something that's going on with your mom 0:16:11.240 --> 0:16:14.200 or your dad and their elderly and you look in. 0:16:14.120 --> 0:16:16.680 And you can't fight quite put a finger on it, 0:16:17.040 --> 0:16:19.520 go to the doctor. Like, that's what I've learned. Because 0:16:19.560 --> 0:16:21.080 when we went upstairs and we took. 0:16:21.480 --> 0:16:23.480 Dad's, first thing we did was take his blood pressure, 0:16:23.520 --> 0:16:24.360 was blood pressure and. 0:16:24.320 --> 0:16:25.880 It was super high. 0:16:25.880 --> 0:16:27.240 And the funny thing is We did the same thing 0:16:27.240 --> 0:16:31.040 with Kay when she was dealing with postpartum pret clamsha 0:16:31.640 --> 0:16:34.880 and her dad said, go to sleep. 0:16:35.240 --> 0:16:37.440 And I was like, nah, that's what we always do. 0:16:37.800 --> 0:16:40.960 We always say, you know what, drink some ginger ale 0:16:41.400 --> 0:16:44.000 and go to sleep. But nah, it's like when you 0:16:44.040 --> 0:16:46.400 have parents, they almost become. 0:16:46.200 --> 0:16:48.880 Like our children. Yeah, and you got to protect them 0:16:48.880 --> 0:16:49.600 from themselves, not. 0:16:49.560 --> 0:16:50.520 Even just parents though. 0:16:51.160 --> 0:16:53.480 In the midst of everything that was happening, you know, 0:16:53.520 --> 0:16:55.760 with us, I feel like I was dealing with the 0:16:55.840 --> 0:16:58.120 level of stress that I've never felt before in my life. 0:16:58.200 --> 0:17:01.360 And it was just everything. It was the compilation of everything. 0:17:01.360 --> 0:17:04.239 I couldn't pinpoint one thing. But I had gone to 0:17:04.520 --> 0:17:09.120 a football game, no. One of Jackson's basketball games, and 0:17:09.440 --> 0:17:12.679 I'm in the car and my left arm just felt numb, 0:17:12.880 --> 0:17:15.600 like it just had this weird sensation. So I kept 0:17:15.600 --> 0:17:17.280 trying to do this and I'm like, oh, maybe's because 0:17:17.280 --> 0:17:19.199 I've been working out more lately. Whatever it is, I 0:17:19.200 --> 0:17:22.040 don't talk about this, and I just felt something just 0:17:22.080 --> 0:17:26.200 fell off. And I said to my mom, I was like. 0:17:26.160 --> 0:17:28.000 My left arm just feels weird. 0:17:28.400 --> 0:17:30.159 And she literally looked at me and she was like, 0:17:30.640 --> 0:17:34.359 go check your blood pressure. My blood pressure was one 0:17:34.480 --> 0:17:38.800 fifty seven over one hundred, and to me, I'm like, 0:17:38.880 --> 0:17:40.960 why is my blood pressure so high? Out of nowhere? 0:17:41.119 --> 0:17:43.120 Like I just went to a basketball game. I sat down, 0:17:44.720 --> 0:17:47.359 and then she said take one of my blood pressure bills. 0:17:47.840 --> 0:17:50.280 And my sister was like, tak an aspirint and you 0:17:50.320 --> 0:17:51.960 got to watch it, and you need a baseline and 0:17:51.960 --> 0:17:53.920 you need to track your blood pressure over the next 0:17:53.960 --> 0:17:56.720 couple of days to see what's going on. But I 0:17:56.720 --> 0:17:59.160 think that was just my body's response to everything going 0:17:59.200 --> 0:18:01.359 on around me, Like not even just looking at it 0:18:01.640 --> 0:18:04.639 from the parents, at your parents' perspective, but it's also 0:18:05.240 --> 0:18:07.560 how am I feeling, like being so in tune with 0:18:07.600 --> 0:18:09.760 your body that you know when something is not right. 0:18:09.800 --> 0:18:11.639 And my mom was like, that's the first thing I 0:18:11.680 --> 0:18:13.880 felt when I had a heart attack. And my mother 0:18:13.920 --> 0:18:16.000 had a stress induced heart attack at fifty four. 0:18:16.640 --> 0:18:17.879 So when she heard me talk. 0:18:17.720 --> 0:18:19.760 About this arm feeling weird, she was like, oh, no, 0:18:20.119 --> 0:18:21.960 we gotta treat this now, and then you have to 0:18:21.960 --> 0:18:23.679 follow up with your doctor. Thankfully, I went for my 0:18:23.720 --> 0:18:26.200 physical blood work and everything. The most I have is 0:18:26.240 --> 0:18:28.320 low iron shell but you know, my blood pressure was 0:18:28.320 --> 0:18:31.000 back to normal one fourteen over eighty cool. But we 0:18:31.119 --> 0:18:33.160 have to be mindful of these things as we get older, 0:18:33.200 --> 0:18:36.600 because we've been hearing more about people our age who 0:18:36.640 --> 0:18:39.879 are having heart attacks and suffering from all these random 0:18:39.920 --> 0:18:42.159 things that you think you don't experience till you're in 0:18:42.200 --> 0:18:45.160 your fifties and sixties and seventies, But in the forties 0:18:45.200 --> 0:18:46.840 is really that turning point for a lot of people. 0:18:47.760 --> 0:18:50.199 That's a good point. That's a really good point. I 0:18:50.200 --> 0:18:53.080 want to get back to you said guilt. You don't 0:18:53.119 --> 0:18:54.560 blame yourself, do you trible? 0:18:56.119 --> 0:18:57.800 No? No, But. 0:19:01.320 --> 0:19:04.160 And you know, I know that there may have been 0:19:04.200 --> 0:19:06.960 nothing that could have been done by the time we 0:19:07.640 --> 0:19:14.119 realized it, But there is just like what if you know, 0:19:14.240 --> 0:19:16.159 and I know I'm not a doctor, I wasn't supposed 0:19:16.160 --> 0:19:19.160 to know, Like, and I'm just like, what is all 0:19:19.200 --> 0:19:22.200 this anxiety for? Like what have all these panic attacks 0:19:22.240 --> 0:19:24.600 been for? If I can't you know, be aware when 0:19:24.600 --> 0:19:31.399 something like this is happening. But yeah, I don't. I 0:19:31.480 --> 0:19:40.040 I was trying not to be anxious because I feel 0:19:40.080 --> 0:19:42.240 like I was the only one that was like, this 0:19:42.400 --> 0:19:44.960 is crazy. And I had talked to my step mom 0:19:45.000 --> 0:19:46.680 like Saturday night, and she was like, I've never seen 0:19:46.760 --> 0:19:50.760 him this out of breath either, So to the clot was. 0:19:52.440 --> 0:19:54.560 He had clots and his lungs and his legs, and 0:19:54.600 --> 0:19:55.840 you had no clue to his heart. 0:19:56.160 --> 0:19:59.159 Got it, we had a travel heart. Why when I 0:19:59.160 --> 0:20:02.160 think about it, she was close eye in his late forties. 0:20:03.520 --> 0:20:04.600 I don't want to say her name. 0:20:06.200 --> 0:20:08.960 She had aminary embolism. 0:20:09.040 --> 0:20:09.359 Same thing. 0:20:09.440 --> 0:20:12.120 She felt like she was out of breath, and her 0:20:12.119 --> 0:20:13.520 and her husband was sitting in the room. 0:20:13.800 --> 0:20:14.439 It was instant. 0:20:14.480 --> 0:20:17.080 And that's why I said, you can't blame yourself, because 0:20:17.119 --> 0:20:19.320 I remember that story where there were no signs. She 0:20:19.359 --> 0:20:23.560 was sitting there and then she said started coughing, and 0:20:23.600 --> 0:20:25.600 then her husband was just like, well you okay? 0:20:25.600 --> 0:20:26.040 Are you okay? 0:20:26.080 --> 0:20:27.760 And then she went to the bathroom and started coughing 0:20:27.800 --> 0:20:29.480 and coughing and she's I can't catch my breath. 0:20:29.720 --> 0:20:30.919 And he was like, okay, what do you want me 0:20:30.920 --> 0:20:32.359 to do? And she's like, I'm gonna go take a shower. 0:20:32.400 --> 0:20:34.359 I believe went to get in a shower. 0:20:34.160 --> 0:20:36.919