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Speaker 1: I took a DNA test for fun and found out

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Speaker 1: I had a whole other family.

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Speaker 2: Ah. Since the start of this year, I have been.

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Speaker 1: Unraveling a heritage mystery. I've been interested in researching my

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Speaker 1: family history for many years and have bounced back and

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Speaker 1: forth between my heritage and ancestry. This is not a

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Speaker 1: sponsored post, but this does come from family tree Mystery

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Speaker 1: on the arsash okay storytime subreddit.

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Speaker 3: You got to test out all of your DNA options,

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Speaker 3: That's true. I think what we do is we give

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Speaker 3: everyone a little bit of our DNA.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, just spitting everyone's face out, and.

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Speaker 3: You say, hey, whoever comes back with the most amount

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Speaker 3: of family members wins wins?

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Speaker 2: Well, guess what we all win because we're all cousins. Ah.

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Speaker 1: In December twenty twenty, I finally took the leap to

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Speaker 1: DNA testing, choosing to use my heritage because there was

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Speaker 1: a sale at the time and my aunt had already

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Speaker 1: tested through it.

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Speaker 2: Okay.

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Speaker 1: When I got my results back in January twenty twenty one,

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Speaker 1: they seemed weird. Oh weird, I'll tell you how weird.

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Speaker 1: My mother's side came back with what I expected, normal stuff,

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Speaker 1: almost entirely Italian with hints of other adjacent ethnicities. We've

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Speaker 1: done our DNA.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, we're Polish and other white, other white.

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Speaker 2: My mom was very Scottish. She also Scottish. Told us

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Speaker 2: that we were one percent Nigerian.

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Speaker 3: That's everyone's one percent Nigerian.

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Speaker 1: I know, but very she was very excited about that one. However,

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Speaker 1: I was always told by my father that his English

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Speaker 1: was mostly German and Dutch, with English, Scottish and Welsh

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Speaker 1: thrown in. We have a Germanic last name. I had

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Speaker 1: spent years up to this point digging through records to

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Speaker 1: trace my father's a very confusing family line, and I

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Speaker 1: was able to trace the Dutch side back through the

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Speaker 1: settling of Albany, New York, and back further to the

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Speaker 1: nether Ones.

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Speaker 3: What was that called New Holland or something when they

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Speaker 3: first came.

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Speaker 2: Up something like that, Wait, wait, New York was called

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Speaker 2: New Holland.

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Speaker 3: Or I might be misremembering something like that.

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Speaker 1: I feel like I remember that. I was confident the

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Speaker 1: DNA tests would back this up and give me more

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Speaker 1: info on the other lines that I was missing, But

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Speaker 1: my results came back.

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Speaker 3: As Jewish plot Swiss.

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Speaker 1: I was obviously confused. I thought maybe my dad had

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Speaker 1: gotten his information wrong. He is elderly, doesn't have the

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Speaker 1: greatest memory for detail, and didn't know much beyond his parents'

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Speaker 1: generation for family info. His parents had died before I

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Speaker 1: was born, so I was never able to speak to

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Speaker 1: them myself. I talked to my mom about it, and

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Speaker 1: she agreed that it was a plausible explanation, basically like

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Speaker 1: that's old.

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Speaker 3: They doesn't know what he's talking about, or she's a liar, yeah.

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Speaker 2: Or she's trying to.

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Speaker 1: I remember saying to my mom quote before I waste

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Speaker 1: any more time on this, Dad is definitely my biological father,

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Speaker 1: right right, So well, say it is so, say it

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Speaker 1: is so. Well, Mom did surprise me by mentioning for

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Speaker 1: the first time that they had been going for fertility treatments,

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Speaker 1: but she had no reason to believe that my dad

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Speaker 1: wasn't my actual father.

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Speaker 3: Well, what do you mean, you have no reason?

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Speaker 1: There's quite quite like a reason. It feels like you

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Speaker 1: were you were just saying maybe a reason. Well, fast

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Speaker 1: forward to April twenty twenty one, someone reached out to

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Speaker 1: me via my heritage wanting to talk about how we

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Speaker 1: were possibly related. Whoa The DNA showed us as not

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Speaker 1: two distant cousins.

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Speaker 3: Family expansion pack right here? New family just dropped.

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Speaker 2: Who it is?

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Speaker 3: Unboxing with me and my new family.

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Speaker 1: Unboxing my cousin? Why is he in the box? I

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Speaker 1: don't know this cousin. I started emailing, swapping family names

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Speaker 1: and basic info, trying to figure out how we were connected.

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Speaker 1: It quickly became a parent that we had no idea

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Speaker 1: who the other was or how our families were related.

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Speaker 1: Really quick. Stopping right here, I'm stopped. What do you

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Speaker 1: think we are? We thinking? One cheating or two?

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Speaker 2: Two? Is there anything else?

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Speaker 3: One cheating?

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Speaker 2: One cheating? Well, that's feeling.

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Speaker 3: I hope his mom said that they they went to

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Speaker 3: a fertility clinic. So I'm wondering if something fertility clinic.

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Speaker 1: It's like, you're not really fertile, but this guy is. Well,

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Speaker 1: exchange the midwast you won't know who.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, it's kind of like one of those coconut shows Jewish.

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Speaker 1: The encouragement of my cousin, I brought the subject back

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Speaker 1: my mom. I'm not particularly close with my family, and

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Speaker 1: my parents have been divorced for many years. I've never

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Speaker 1: asked much more about things like this. Well, my mom

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Speaker 1: explains about the fertility treatment she had previously mentioned. Just

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Speaker 1: some dude, just some god so very fertile guy. My

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Speaker 1: father had a vasectomy before my parents were married.

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Speaker 3: Oh wait, so he couldn't unless he got a reverse.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, you could. You could get a snip snap, say, uh.

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Speaker 1: I can find zectomy in reverse in revers Do you

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Speaker 1: know the toll of fifteen visectomies on the human body?

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Speaker 2: It's a quote from the office.

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Speaker 1: And I gathered he's almost twenty years older than my

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Speaker 1: mother and had been married previously with children. Okay, that

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Speaker 1: that's the old, old old man. And we were going

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Speaker 1: to a fertility center to help in conceiving me. They

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Speaker 1: did have exectomy reversal coflected multiple samples and combined them.

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Speaker 1: Then in semination, the clinic told my parents that there

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Speaker 1: was a ninety percent chance of success. So basically, it's

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Speaker 1: his sperm and some other dude sperm. And they all, oh, no,

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Speaker 1: it's so much of time.

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Speaker 3: They're saying that they reversed the vasectomy and then artificially

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Speaker 3: took his sperm artificially and emanated.

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Speaker 1: But it was his spurn, okay, and it took three

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Speaker 1: tries to conceive. But here I am alive and kicking. Oh,

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Speaker 1: Alan Foster says, could have been switched at birth.

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Speaker 3: No, because the mom we know that the mom is

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Speaker 3: oh he's real mom.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, but yes, good guess I told this info back

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Speaker 1: to my helpful cousin. He comes back with two possibilities.

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Speaker 1: Either my father was an unknown adoption and is actually

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Speaker 1: one hundred percent Jewish, extremely unlikely, or there was some

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Speaker 1: sortin mix up at the fertility.

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Speaker 3: Z That's what I'm saying. Maybe they were like, well,

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Speaker 3: it's going to be ninety percent a success, right, and

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Speaker 3: we're going to ensure that.

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Speaker 1: So it's not switched at birth, it's switched before birth.

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Speaker 1: So my mom and I are now panic stricken. I

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Speaker 1: should mention that my father has no idea that any

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Speaker 1: of these conversations and relevations and the revelations are happening.

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Speaker 1: As I mentioned before, he is olderly man, barely knows

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Speaker 1: what's going on. He's so old, so freaking old.

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Speaker 3: I think it's funny that if he's like he is

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Speaker 3: so old that there is a possibility that.

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Speaker 1: He just doesn't know forgot that he was. I'm also

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Speaker 1: the clear favorite of his children, and he has me

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Speaker 1: on a bit of pedestal in his mind. His mental

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Speaker 1: health could not handle a blow like this. Damn, I'm

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Speaker 1: really concerned about this guy. Oh he does know. I've

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Speaker 1: been researching the family, however, so it was not suspicious

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Speaker 1: when I took the next step and ordered DNA kits

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Speaker 1: form my heritage for him and my mother.

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Speaker 3: Okay, pause, can we do a poll? Do you tell this.

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Speaker 2: Elderly elderly old man, rain dead man? How?

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Speaker 3: I guess it's the question is how long do you

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Speaker 3: have to keep it a secret? How many years does.

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Speaker 1: He app How soon do you want your will? What

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Speaker 1: if he strikes you from the will?

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Speaker 2: Oh?

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Speaker 3: Well, hopefully you guys have more love than hopefully.

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Speaker 2: But you know he's not remembering a lot of what.

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Speaker 3: He could get a bag though, because they screwed up

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Speaker 3: the numbers said ninety percent.

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Speaker 2: That's true.

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Speaker 1: It could sue sue the US, But I mean, in

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Speaker 1: this fertility clinic even still around like it was, like

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Speaker 1: what he.

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Speaker 3: These are answers that only the story can tell us.

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Speaker 1: It would be a while before I'd be able to

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Speaker 1: test my parents. But in the meantime, I ordered myself

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Speaker 1: a new DNA test kit, this time from Ancestry to

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Speaker 1: compare the results to compare, and while I'm waiting for

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Speaker 1: those results, I did a deep dive into research. My

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Speaker 1: cousin's family tree was easily accessible through another shared cousin,

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Speaker 1: and I started copying it over to my own records,

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Speaker 1: trying to figure out where I fit into it. When

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Speaker 1: I did get my ancestry DNA results back, they confirmed

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Speaker 1: that I was half Italian, half Jewish, with many of

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Speaker 1: the same relatives connected on both sites. In June twenty

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Speaker 1: twenty one, I uploaded my my heritage DNA to family

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Speaker 1: tree DNA to see if I could squeeze any more

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Speaker 1: information from it. What I found was extremely helpful, but devastating.

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Speaker 1: Oh no, it connected me with a potential paternal grandfather,

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Speaker 1: whose information was conveniently managed by the same cousin I

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Speaker 1: had been emailing with. I immediately sent another message asking

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Speaker 1: my cousin who this man was. I couldn't sit still

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Speaker 1: while waiting for a reply, so I took to social

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Speaker 1: media to dig for more info. Thanks to the family Tree,

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Speaker 1: I was able to search for him, his children, and

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Speaker 1: even his grandchildren.

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Speaker 3: So this is Op's maybe grandpa?

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Speaker 1: What if this like cousin knows there was someone who

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Speaker 1: was swapping sperm and trying to do like one of

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Speaker 1: those like a thousand kids kind of thing. Oh you know,

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Speaker 1: I knew who was getting married, who was going away

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Speaker 1: to what schools, and that his wife my parent grandmother

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Speaker 1: had passed away barely recently. I was able to add

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Speaker 1: birthdays and wedding anniversaries that I was missing to the

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Speaker 1: family tree. It was weird and a bittersweet feeling to

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Speaker 1: be so successful in finding all this out. I was

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Speaker 1: happy that I was getting somewhere with the answers I needed,

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Speaker 1: but upset that this was happening at all. And I

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Speaker 1: of course felt like a creep basically cyberstalking this entire family.

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Speaker 1: But people really loved overshare on social media.

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Speaker 3: I mean just a little bit, but for a good cause,

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Speaker 3: the causes you need to find out who you are.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, you got to trace that family tree all the

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Speaker 1: way down to the base. It was an agonizing few

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Speaker 1: days before my cousin emailed me back, but when he did,

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Speaker 1: he came through with a lot of info we had

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Speaker 1: been missing. He explained that he was just as shocked

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Speaker 1: as I was, and had made some phone calls. As

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Speaker 1: I had figured out myself. This grandfather of mine had

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Speaker 1: three sons around my mom's age. My cousin wouldn't confirm

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Speaker 1: nor deny which one, but one of those sons had

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Speaker 1: been a sperm doner around the time my parents would

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Speaker 1: have been trying to conceive. On my own digging, I

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Speaker 1: was sure I knew which son was my biological dad.

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Speaker 3: A little Mama Mia situation here.

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Speaker 1: He had three sons of his own, the oldest being

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Speaker 1: just two years younger than me. He was a doctor

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Speaker 1: that had connections with the larger organization that ran the

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Speaker 1: fertility center, and the most damning evidence of all.

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Speaker 3: Beyond my face, No, he stole your face.

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Speaker 1: I looked so much like my mom that I could

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Speaker 1: never tell if I looked like my dad. But I

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Speaker 1: saw myself clearly in this man's features. Even without my

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Speaker 1: cousin's confirmation, I was confident that this was my biological

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Speaker 1: This was my biological father.

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Speaker 3: This means that the fertility clinic made a little.

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Speaker 2: Oopsie made a big big And he's a doctor, and

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Speaker 2: he's a doctor.

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Speaker 3: He's a doctor.

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Speaker 1: To wait for real, this guy's a doctor. Op's on

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Speaker 1: a fertility doctor. The dad is a doctor. I don't

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Speaker 1: know if it is a fertility doctor. But was it

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Speaker 1: was it planned?

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Speaker 2: People are evil?

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Speaker 1: People are evil, are freaking evil, man. I took this

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Speaker 1: info back to my mother, who was understandably upset. We

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Speaker 1: are still unsure if the inclusion of a donor was

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Speaker 1: a genuine mistake, an intentional move by the clinic to

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Speaker 1: ensure higher success rate for themselves, or if there was

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Speaker 1: something in the fine print that my parents misread that

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Speaker 1: would allow the inclusion of a donor. So it's kind

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Speaker 1: of what I thought initially, where it was like, oh,

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Speaker 1: they're mixing his sperm and some other ones.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, just to see what sticks you grow. Impasta at

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Speaker 3: the wall.

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Speaker 2: She began, god, sticky, gross bust. Hey, well you guys

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Speaker 2: are began those ropes.

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Speaker 1: She began the process of getting her records from that

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Speaker 1: fertility clinic, but they have been very dodgy. Originally, she

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Speaker 1: sent an email just asking if they could forward her

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Speaker 1: records to her, not mentioning a specific reason as to why.

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Speaker 1: She received a phone call from receptionist saying that they

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Speaker 1: have gotten her request and would bring it up at

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Speaker 1: the next board of directors meetings. Oh suspicious sort of directors.

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Speaker 1: That's like all the way at the top.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, why can't you just give me the records.

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Speaker 1: After that, they did send her a records release form,

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Speaker 1: which she filled out and returned the first week of June.

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Speaker 1: In mid July, she got another phone call saying they

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Speaker 1: had no physical records for her, but would be looking

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Speaker 1: at the microfilm.

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Speaker 2: I let my.

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Speaker 1: Cousin know where we were in regards to medical records.

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Speaker 1: I also asked him if he knew of anything I

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Speaker 1: should be concerned about health wise from that side of

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Speaker 1: the family. At this time, I did order a twenty

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Speaker 1: three and me DNA kit to triple confirm my ethnicity

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Speaker 1: as well as look at health reports and hopefully connect

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Speaker 1: with other closer family members.

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Speaker 3: Got three different ancestry tests.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, I did a DNA test and it just said

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Speaker 1: I'm gonna have like everything wrong with me.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, what did it say you were gonna have?

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Speaker 1: You were I'm gonna I was gonna be baldchizophrenic. I

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Speaker 1: was going to live for a long time, age terribly,

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Speaker 1: kind of like a curse.

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Speaker 2: It's kind of like a.

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Speaker 3: Curse you're going to live forever.

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Speaker 2: But yeah, that sucks.

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Speaker 3: I'm hopeful that I have Dad's.

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Speaker 2: I different, we look the same.

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Speaker 3: Well, I have Dad's hair color.

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Speaker 1: Bio Dad was a sperm donor. Maybe there were other

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Speaker 1: half siblings out there. Twenty three and meters seems like

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Speaker 1: the most popular place to test, so I thought it

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Speaker 1: was possible there might be more connections.

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Speaker 2: There were not.

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Speaker 1: It was interesting to compare the results of all three

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Speaker 1: DNA tests, though. When my cousin wrote to me again

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Speaker 1: he had a direct message from biodad for me, it

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Speaker 1: was not particularly enlightening. The few things he mentioned I

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Speaker 1: had already figured out for myself. The whole short letter

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Speaker 1: read as a very polished and political letter. Now, don't

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Speaker 1: get me wrong, I am not looking for a relationship

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Speaker 1: with this man, but a little that would be weird.

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Speaker 1: You guys are related, but a little more kindness would

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Speaker 1: have been appreciated.

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Speaker 2: Meant I'm making a joke.

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Speaker 1: Oh, my cousin is an absolute delight, and I have

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Speaker 1: genuinely enjoyed talking with him throughout all of this. I

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Speaker 1: sent a brief return note to my cousin to pass

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Speaker 1: on to my biological dad, especially just saying thank you

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Speaker 1: for taking the time to write to me, and that

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Speaker 1: I hoped this revelation wasn't causing him or his family

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Speaker 1: any harm. And that was absolutely not my intent. But

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Speaker 1: also what my intent is is to tell you that

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Speaker 1: you can join us live every weekday at three pm

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Speaker 1: PSD right here on YouTube. Also we get a podcast,

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Speaker 1: look it up on the podcast wherever.

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Speaker 3: You get your podcasts pod.

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Speaker 1: My cousin wrote to me again soon after that. He

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Speaker 1: thanked me himself for the return message to the biodad,

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Speaker 1: but let me know that Biodad did not want to

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Speaker 1: read what I had sent, and that he didn't even

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Speaker 1: know my name and didn't want to. I understand as

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Speaker 1: a wanting to have a yeah, I.

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Speaker 3: Mean like a relationship with that with their kid.

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Speaker 1: My cousin will hang on to it and pass it

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Speaker 1: along when biodad is ready, But I don't feel great

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Speaker 1: about that. I of course understand needing time to come

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Speaker 1: to terms with this new info. But he was a

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Speaker 1: willing sperm donor. Surely he knew there was a possibility

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Speaker 1: that he had children out there somewhere. And I think

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Speaker 1: what a lot of these fertility clinics are like, oh,

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Speaker 1: you're going to be anonymous, blah blah blah.

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Speaker 3: Like you can ensure I don't think you can ever

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Speaker 3: ensure anonymity.

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Speaker 1: Did he think I was trying to cash in on him. Somehow,

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Speaker 1: I didn't have a good feeling about being this man's

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Speaker 1: biological child. After that, around the same time, my father's

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Speaker 1: DNA results finally came in as the final nail in

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Speaker 1: the coffin, we were not nected. It was honestly heartbreaking

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Speaker 1: to see no close relatives show up in his result.

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Speaker 1: I should have been there to top it all off,

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Speaker 1: all this happened just before Father's Day. I had quite

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Speaker 1: a few sleepless nights ayo and anxiety attacks that month.

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Speaker 1: I still haven't told him about any of this. He

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Speaker 1: hasn't asked about his DNA test results, but if he does,

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Speaker 1: I'll just tell him the truth or results without mentioning

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Speaker 1: that I am not included in them.

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Speaker 3: And seventy five percent And people say tell him, I think,

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Speaker 3: talk to your mom first and see what the best

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Speaker 3: way to tell him is.

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Speaker 1: I feel like our general rule here is the truth

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Speaker 1: like secrets become stinkier over time, and.

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Speaker 3: So secrets are like cheese.

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Speaker 1: Secrets are like cheese, and not good cheese, like bad, stinky,

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Speaker 1: stinky cheese. Do we think that Ope should tell the father.

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Speaker 3: I think it depends on how there he is, like

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Speaker 3: how present he is? Yeah, because if you have a

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Speaker 3: grandparent with you know, dementia or something like that, maybe

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Speaker 3: doesn't make that much sense to tell them. But if

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Speaker 3: they're still present and they still have you know, they're

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Speaker 3: still in the right mind and body.

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Speaker 1: I feel like I'm leaning towards saying something and it's

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Speaker 1: just like, hey, Dad, I want you to know I

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Speaker 1: realize something with this DNA task. I realized that like

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Speaker 1: you like, were not biologically related and there was a

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Speaker 1: mix up. But I still love you and you're still

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Speaker 1: You're still always going to be my dad.

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Speaker 3: Concur