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Speaker 1: This is the Ben and Ashley I Almost Famous podcast

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Speaker 1: with her radio. What's going on? Everyone? We're Jared. We're

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Speaker 1: doing a live event for the second time, but this

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Speaker 1: time it's not our Help I Suck a Dating live.

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Speaker 1: It's even better because we're almost famous live. We're almost famous.

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Speaker 1: The story of our lives right there, the story of

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Speaker 1: our lives, and we're live with almost famous of course.

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Speaker 1: Dean and Jared here, host of the r Heart radio

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Speaker 1: podcast Help I Suck At Dating. We're very excited to

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Speaker 1: be like the opening act over here for Ashley and Ben. Yeah.

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Speaker 1: That's the funny thing too, is we're the opening act.

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Speaker 1: So I mean, listen all the grades at one point

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Speaker 1: in another we're opening acts. Bob Dylan, the Beatles, I'm

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Speaker 1: sure at one point in their opening for someone bigger

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Speaker 1: than them. It's our moment to shine, baby. We can't

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Speaker 1: mess this up. While I'm hoping next year, uh, Tanya

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Speaker 1: and Becca will open up for us and then like

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Speaker 1: we'll just go full circle, you know what I mean?

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Speaker 1: Right right right? Well, someone allows to open for Tanya

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Speaker 1: and Becca too. Next year there's gonna be some other people, yeah,

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Speaker 1: but you know, you know, they gotta work their way up,

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Speaker 1: you know right right, Um, tonight is about Ben ben

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Speaker 1: Higgins and his brand new book that he worked incredibly

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Speaker 1: hard on for over a year. You know about it

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Speaker 1: already alone in plane sight. Uh. This is Ben's brand

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Speaker 1: new book. It's fantastic. I can't praise it enough. Um,

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Speaker 1: And we're just super excited for him. And Ben's gonna

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Speaker 1: be obviously here with Ashley and answering questions about the

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Speaker 1: book and how he wrote it, what inspired him to

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Speaker 1: write it. Um. So I'm very excited. I am very excited, Dean.

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Speaker 1: I mean, I'm excited to anything that involves Ben. I'm

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Speaker 1: always on board with. UM. I'm still waiting for for

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Speaker 1: my time with Ben where we can sit down together

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Speaker 1: and he can just read me his own book page

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Speaker 1: for page. That's really that's gonna be I'm sure the

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Speaker 1: highlight in one. Um. Yeah, that's what I'm looking forward to.

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Speaker 1: We'll set the scene for us, so like what is

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Speaker 1: it gonna be a dark, dim room and there'll be

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Speaker 1: like a little spotlight on Ben. Perhaps he's maybe wearing

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Speaker 1: some glasses, drinking a Scotch, smoking a cigar while he

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Speaker 1: whispers sweet nothings, including his introduction of the book. Uh,

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Speaker 1: before I paint the setting for exactly how I anticipate

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Speaker 1: Ben to read me his own book, I do want

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Speaker 1: to tell well, I think we should both tell everyone

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Speaker 1: that's watching right now that we can read the comments.

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Speaker 1: So be sure to send in any questions you have

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Speaker 1: in the comments, and we want to answer them here

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Speaker 1: live on Almost Famous Live for Ben's book. Anyways, back

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Speaker 1: to the setting where I imagine Ben reading me his book.

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Speaker 1: You know, there's gonna be a lot of candles, that's obvious.

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Speaker 1: It's got to be in the van too, So a

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Speaker 1: cigar being smoked in the van probably hazard um, but yeah,

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Speaker 1: candles all over. You know. I hope that the thing

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Speaker 1: is I want there to be like some sort of

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Speaker 1: oil where you know, it could be like kind of

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Speaker 1: like a joint book reading slash massage. But I don't

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Speaker 1: know how that would necessarily work, um, but I think

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Speaker 1: there's a way that we can make it work. Oh yeah,

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Speaker 1: I want Ben to be making this face the entire

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Speaker 1: time he's reading it to you. No smile, no nothing,

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Speaker 1: just this face. And he doesn't and he doesn't make

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Speaker 1: eye contact the entire time either, No, obviously he always

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Speaker 1: looks away. Eye contact then you're then it then it

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Speaker 1: makes it weird, Like we don't want to make this weird, right,

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Speaker 1: we want the eye contact to not be broken. That

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Speaker 1: makes it less weird. Um. Yes, So of course everybody

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Speaker 1: please send in your questions. We've more than happy to answer.

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Speaker 1: Like we said before, Dean and I are the opening act,

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Speaker 1: so we're gonna be here for another five maybe ten minutes. Uh.

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Speaker 1: And then of course Ben and Ashley, you're usual almost

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Speaker 1: famous host, will be here. Uh. And there'll be some

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Speaker 1: special guests uh coming in throughout the evening, including possibly

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Speaker 1: I don't know, a guy who maybe has made a

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Speaker 1: margar reader or two on in a beach in Mexico. Uh.

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Speaker 1: We also have some former Bachelor contestants that are gonna

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Speaker 1: come on that of course you know their names, We

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Speaker 1: know their names. Um. But we do have a question

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Speaker 1: in the chat, Dean, do you want to read it

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Speaker 1: to us? Uh? Well, yeah, so I see a question here, Jared,

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Speaker 1: what is your favorite Ben memory or moment? Oh favorite

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Speaker 1: Ben memory? So I talked. I actually wrote this in

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Speaker 1: a caption when I was wroting Ben's book before the wedding. Dean,

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Speaker 1: you were passed out, so I don't know how much

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Speaker 1: you remember this. But we were all hanging out at

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Speaker 1: a house that one of the guys rented, and it

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Speaker 1: was all the gruns men, all you guys. Ben was there,

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Speaker 1: my dad was there, and uh that is definitely one

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Speaker 1: of my favorite memories ever with Ben and uh we

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Speaker 1: Ben and I somehow like made our way outside. It

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Speaker 1: was just the two of us in the driveway. And no,

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Speaker 1: we did not make out, but I would have totally

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Speaker 1: been down for that. But sorry, actually I'm joking anyway, Um,

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Speaker 1: but we we were the dry gay for like fifteen minutes,

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Speaker 1: just talking about life and how crazy it was that

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Speaker 1: we here I am about to get married to someone

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Speaker 1: that I met on reality TV show, surrounded by some

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Speaker 1: of my closest friends that I met from said reality

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Speaker 1: TV show. So that is definitely one of my favorite

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Speaker 1: Ben memories. What about you, Dan, H Yeah, that's that's

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Speaker 1: a good one. Um, I would say mine, uh would

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Speaker 1: have to center around every time Ben and I see

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Speaker 1: each other for the first time in a long time,

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Speaker 1: and I think this, Uh, Ben goes back doing this

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Speaker 1: with like a lot of his buddy So this is

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Speaker 1: not just a me memory. I'm sure a lot of

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Speaker 1: his friends have very similar memory of him. But he

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Speaker 1: always goes everybody, watch out, Piggy's here every time he

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Speaker 1: walks into a room. And it is the most electrifying

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Speaker 1: thing I think I've ever experienced. Every time I experienced

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Speaker 1: it, it it just it's it's absolutely amazing. Uh. And that

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Speaker 1: happened after Ben and I hung out a lot on

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Speaker 1: Winter Games, and so every time I see Ben, that's

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Speaker 1: that he screams out of this at the top of

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Speaker 1: his lungs uh and then gives the biggest bear hug.

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Speaker 1: So it's just that's like one of my favorite Ben

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Speaker 1: things in the Rock Johnson. He's just the most electrifying

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Speaker 1: men in professional sports. It's electric. It's absolutely electric. It's

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Speaker 1: it's absolutely electric. Um, Jared, this question is from Sophia.

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Speaker 1: What are your Valentine's Day plans? Uh? I'm gonna cook

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Speaker 1: for Ashley. We're gonna stay home, Uh, and I'm gonna cook.

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Speaker 1: I made a pizza a couple last week or a

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Speaker 1: couple of days ago, I forget, but I'm gonna make

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Speaker 1: a pizza for her again. She loved it. Uh. And Uh,

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Speaker 1: you know, I might have some flowers or something along

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Speaker 1: those lines ready to go. Maybe some chocoluts. But yeah,

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Speaker 1: we're gonna stay in, have a bottle of wine. I'm

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Speaker 1: gonna cook for and that's our Valentine's Day. What about you,

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Speaker 1: niceer you're staying in for Huh. Yeah, it's just I

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Speaker 1: don't know, it's gonna be crazy out there. Probably restaurant's

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Speaker 1: gonna be packed, you know, packed with social distancing. Obviously,

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Speaker 1: just better to stay home. Yeah, it's gonna be so

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Speaker 1: very similar for us. We're probably gonna stay home. Um,

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Speaker 1: I'll probably try to cook something, but we're It's like

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Speaker 1: so funny because even like for New Year's it's like

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Speaker 1: and obviously like we're in a fan so no one's

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Speaker 1: really doing anything. But like I was like sleeping by

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Speaker 1: eight thirty pm on New Year's. Uh. Valentine's Day is

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Speaker 1: definitely another one of those days where it's like you

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Speaker 1: can go to restaurants and that's great, but it's like

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Speaker 1: it's a it's like safer to stay in and do

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Speaker 1: it yourself and be It's just like it's more enjoyable anyways,

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Speaker 1: Like I would rather just stay home and have like

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Speaker 1: a nice meal and a couple of glasses of wine. Um,

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Speaker 1: So it's probably what we're gonna be doing I think, oh,

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Speaker 1: that sounds like a great night. And then, of course,

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Speaker 1: like you said, nobody's doing anything except for Tom Brady.

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Speaker 1: He's having boat parades down in Tampa. Oh there's Oh

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Speaker 1: my god, almost said pip up. We just had someone.

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Speaker 1: Kylie just asked where is Pappy? And he was sitting

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Speaker 1: here next to me. He just wanted to say hi

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Speaker 1: real quick. Happy Lois has went over there. I can't

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Speaker 1: get her. Um. Also, it's Jordan's birthday, Happy Birthday, Jordan's

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Speaker 1: Happy birthday, Jordan's If you wanna, if you want to

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Speaker 1: shout out from Ashley, just go to Cameo dot com.

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Speaker 1: Uh and you can book us. There was plugging getting

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Speaker 1: Jordan's Happy Birthday. We hope it's a great one. Thank

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Speaker 1: you so much for tuning in. Uh. This one also

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Speaker 1: is from from Odette beautiful name Dean. How are you

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Speaker 1: and Kalin doing? Are you guys gonna have kids soon? Oh? Oh, Debt,

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Speaker 1: that's a that's a funny question. We're doing good, you know,

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Speaker 1: and no complaints. We Uh, it's funny because like we

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Speaker 1: definitely you know, obviously I've been spending a lot of

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Speaker 1: time together with quarantine. Well not you know, with just

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Speaker 1: this whole pandemic that's going on, so you can spend

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Speaker 1: a lot of time together. Um. And there are times

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Speaker 1: where we get like a little ear irritated with each other.

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Speaker 1: But for the most part, on the grands, in the

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Speaker 1: grand scheme of things, things are going well. We like

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Speaker 1: done a good job, will give each other space when

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Speaker 1: we need it. Uh. And and when we are together

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Speaker 1: everything is fine. Uh. And we're not gonna have kids

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Speaker 1: any time in the near future whatsoever. Pathy is enough

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Speaker 1: for us for for the next five fifteen years. But

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Speaker 1: you know, I'm sure Klin is on the same page

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Speaker 1: with you on that one fifteen years maybe I will

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Speaker 1: see you guys want to rush into things obviously. I

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Speaker 1: also noticed, Dean that the flow is coming back. Your

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Speaker 1: hair looks quite nice. Well, you know, Actually it's funny

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Speaker 1: because I was gonna tell you that I think, did

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Speaker 1: you get a haircut? I did? I trimmed it up,

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Speaker 1: you did. I was I was liking how messy you

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Speaker 1: was getting. You were looking like very legal, like Titanic

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Speaker 1: or something like that. I looked like I could have

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Speaker 1: a van myself. Uh, it was getting pretty shaggy, right.

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Speaker 1: I would thought that there was gonna be one day

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Speaker 1: where be driving down the highway. I looked to my

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Speaker 1: left and there you are driving your van down the road. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: I wonder what Ashley, I would we should honestly do

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Speaker 1: that for just for Instagram content. I think ash and

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Speaker 1: I should live in a van for a month and

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Speaker 1: just see what happens. I want to see. I would.

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Speaker 1: I would give you anything you wanted. I would give

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Speaker 1: you Pappy for a month. I would. I would pay

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Speaker 1: you money to try living in the van for the month.

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Speaker 1: I mean one, well, the money is great, but honestly,

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Speaker 1: pappies up. I'd love to live with Pappy for I

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Speaker 1: think you would be fine in the van. I just

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Speaker 1: can't imagine, Ashley. No, well, you can't bring an entire

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Speaker 1: glam room into the van and the one them in

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Speaker 1: right now. Literally the lighting is so good because she

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Speaker 1: has this huge, like five foot vanity. I don't think

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Speaker 1: that's fitting in the van. Doors, the vanity and the van.

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Speaker 1: I don't know. Good work. Uh maybe one day, Jared,

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Speaker 1: maybe one day. Anyways, you guys, you you beared with

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Speaker 1: us for a solid ten minutes. We're so sorry you

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Speaker 1: had to sit through all that. But the main event

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Speaker 1: is coming up. Ben and Ashley are going to be

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Speaker 1: hopping on uh for their live almost famous. Is there

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Speaker 1: anything that uh we want to stay before we get

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Speaker 1: out of here? Are we staying or are we leaving?

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Speaker 1: I think we're bringing Ben in. Hey, you're out of here.

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Speaker 1: Everybody watch out. It's electric, electrifying. I don't know, I

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Speaker 1: don't know. Boys, thank you so much for the introduction. Uh.

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Speaker 1: You guys are great. I I know you have a

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Speaker 1: lot going on in life, but the fact that you

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Speaker 1: came here to hang out with us tonight is very

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Speaker 1: very special. Um. Also, Dean, I think you no need

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Speaker 1: to talk. I'm sure the people out there listening could

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Speaker 1: get on board with this. Ashley, I can eddie in

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Speaker 1: a van for two weeks. Two weeks would all be

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Speaker 1: I need and it would be incredible. I'm down, let's

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Speaker 1: do it. That would be fun. That wouldn't be fun.

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Speaker 1: That would be funny, funny, right? Think about thinking about

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Speaker 1: you know, when you're old and great, you could look

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Speaker 1: back and be like, remember those two weeks I lived

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Speaker 1: in that van. It's one of those adventures that I

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Speaker 1: feel like you would not enjoy experiencing, but the memories

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Speaker 1: would be really good. Your guys are had a vacation

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Speaker 1: like that. Yes, absolutely, I would say, like any big

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Speaker 1: excursion I go on, I'm like this is horrible, and

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Speaker 1: then you look back and you're like, Okay, that was

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Speaker 1: actually pretty epic. Yeah special. Well, hey, just to give

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Speaker 1: a rundown of tonight, we do have somebody that makes

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Speaker 1: Margarita's drinks on the beach coming on here to hang out.

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Speaker 1: He's somebody special. Uh we did have uh, Jared and

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Speaker 1: Dean and you guys are great again. It's help I

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Speaker 1: Second Dating, which is a great podcast. It's very fun,

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Speaker 1: good intent. It's not only bachelor focused, but you kind

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Speaker 1: of expand outside of that world. Uh. It's been what

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Speaker 1: three years now? Yeah, we're strong. Yeah, only a getting stronger.

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Speaker 1: Oh man, I have a feeling there's more to that. Also,

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Speaker 1: to let everybody know, tonight, uh tonight, a portion of

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Speaker 1: the proceeds are going to save our stages. In fact,

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Speaker 1: right before this, I did a meet and greet and

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Speaker 1: actually did a meet and greet as well with a

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Speaker 1: few people who are watching right now, And I got

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Speaker 1: to talk to a wonderful young woman who works in

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Speaker 1: New York City, Uh, in the theater industry and she

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Speaker 1: was telling me how much she's been affected by COVID.

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Speaker 1: I mean it's been shut down and they're talking about

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Speaker 1: another you know, six or twelve months before Broadway can

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Speaker 1: even book again. Uh. And so you know that's six

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Speaker 1: or twelve months where your career has been put on pause. Uh.

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Speaker 1: And so it's a big deal and it's needed. It's

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Speaker 1: not gonna talk about enough. So a portion of the

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Speaker 1: proceeds and I are going to save our stages. And hey,

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Speaker 1: what stops you from going out there and just donating

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Speaker 1: to him on your own? Yeah? So true, I missed Broadway.

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Speaker 1: Um hey, uh, you know, I'm gonna ask you guys

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Speaker 1: to stick around for a second because Dean said something

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Speaker 1: a little bit ago. Um. And here's the next thing

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Speaker 1: in the in this Life to night, I'm gonna read

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Speaker 1: to everybody, and I would love for if you guys

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Speaker 1: give me ten minutes that I could read to you. Um,

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Speaker 1: that would mean a lot to me everybody out there. Um,

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Speaker 1: so real quick, I'm gonna entro the book if that's okay. Uh, yes, Ben,

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Speaker 1: this is your show. We want it totally to be

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Speaker 1: about you, So you just seriously take it from here,

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Speaker 1: read anything you want. We're excited. You read the paper,

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Speaker 1: if you want your book. UM, well it's listening to

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Speaker 1: for everybody out there watching, this is a really big

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Speaker 1: deal to me. Um. And Alone in Plain Site is

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Speaker 1: a project that started two years ago. I'll tell you

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Speaker 1: a little bit of background. I was going through a

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Speaker 1: really weird time in life where I was feeling super disconnected,

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Speaker 1: very isolated, really alone um and confused on how uh

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Speaker 1: to even get there, to get back to a place

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Speaker 1: of connection, or if I ever had been at a

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Speaker 1: place of connection. So I started journaling all these thoughts

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Speaker 1: down because I was going through counseling kind of advising

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Speaker 1: me to write down my thoughts when I was happy,

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Speaker 1: when I was sad, when I was disappointed, lonely, and

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Speaker 1: try to point to the common threads and at all.

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Speaker 1: And as I wrote this, I kind of just continue

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Speaker 1: to compile my thoughts, uh expound on a bit. And

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Speaker 1: one day Thomas Nelson Publishers came to me, uh and

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Speaker 1: they said, would you everyone read a book? And I said,

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Speaker 1: I would love to write a book. I just don't

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Speaker 1: know how to write about I don't want to really

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Speaker 1: write a tell all. I don't have in many secrets

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Speaker 1: to share. Uh. The show was was pretty easy on me. Uh,

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Speaker 1: and so I don't have a lot of hidden secrets

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Speaker 1: to it. Uh. And they said, well, what else could

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Speaker 1: you speak on? I said, well, I do write a

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Speaker 1: lot in my journal And they said, if you wouldn't

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Speaker 1: mind making that your book, that would be fantastic. What's

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Speaker 1: your journal about? And so then I had to start

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Speaker 1: going back through my journal and finding common themes um

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Speaker 1: that I could I could find that would allow me

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Speaker 1: to tell a story. So here's the theme I came

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Speaker 1: up with. Uh. As I looked through the things that

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Speaker 1: connected us the most as humans, I found two things

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Speaker 1: in common. Uh, one of which will be shockingly dark

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Speaker 1: and heavy, and it's what I'm gonna read about in

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Speaker 1: a second. The other one, uh is still kind of

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Speaker 1: heavy and dark, but I hope it gets to a

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Speaker 1: place of light for all of us. Uh. The one

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Speaker 1: thing that we all have in common is that we're

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Speaker 1: gonna die and uh, and that that sucks. I know

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Speaker 1: it's not fun to think about. I know it's weird

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Speaker 1: to think about, but it's true. Um. I know a

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Speaker 1: lot of us watching this that a lot of us

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Speaker 1: here have had family members who have passed away. It's

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Speaker 1: affected of us deeply, and yet we're all like, we're

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Speaker 1: all connected through that shared pain, which is to my

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Speaker 1: second point. Uh, I think we can all have things

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Speaker 1: that we celebrate in life. However, I've met people that

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Speaker 1: I would argue have never felt true joy, full joy,

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Speaker 1: and full happiness, given uh, their circumstances, on where they

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Speaker 1: were born, given their family dynamic. Uh, they've never been

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Speaker 1: able to fully celebrate anything. Uh. That's not something to

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Speaker 1: scoff at, it's just truth. And so that can't be

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Speaker 1: the thing that connects us. I I don't think we can.

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Speaker 1: We can confidently say that everybody in this life, which

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Speaker 1: is a crazy thing that about on its own, has

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Speaker 1: experienced hope and joy. So on the reverse side of that,

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Speaker 1: one thing that we all have experienced is pain and

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Speaker 1: sorrow and suffering. We all have moments that we've felt pain,

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Speaker 1: We've all had moments that we felt sorrow, and so yes, Uh,

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Speaker 1: that's not really fun to think about. But what if

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Speaker 1: what if his that is the thing that connects us

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Speaker 1: the most? What if as humans that's the place that

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Speaker 1: we can come together and say, I understand, I'm gonna

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Speaker 1: offer you more grace, more love, more understanding, more patients,

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Speaker 1: more kindness, because I know that in your life you've

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Speaker 1: been hurt and I don't want to hurt you anymore,

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Speaker 1: and I don't want to add to that hurt. So

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Speaker 1: I want to sit with you in that pain and

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Speaker 1: sit with you that hurt and help us all move forward. Okay,

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Speaker 1: So that's where the book comes from. So it's for

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Speaker 1: it's for people who feel disconnected, um, isolated, alone, misunderstood,

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Speaker 1: and I hope for the reader when they're done reading it,

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Speaker 1: they feel less alone, uh and they feel more purpose filled,

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Speaker 1: more valuable, and more connected than ever. But through the

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Speaker 1: process of writting the book, I was able to one day, Uh,

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Speaker 1: this girl's friends reached out to me. Her name was Annie,

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Speaker 1: and UM, her friends sext me said, Annie's a big

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Speaker 1: fan of The Bachelor. Would you do a video for her?

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Speaker 1: Annie doesn't have long to live and she wants a

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Speaker 1: video from some of her favorite people. So I said, yeah,

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Speaker 1: I would. So I did a little video for her

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Speaker 1: and it was just saying hey, Annie, thinking about you,

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Speaker 1: and I sent it and her friend responded with thank you.

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Speaker 1: Annie loved the video so much, and there was something

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Speaker 1: that moment that just didn't feel right to me. It felt, uh,

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Speaker 1: this will be a pretty popular word, I believe in

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Speaker 1: the next couple of weeks for Bachelor Nation. But it

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Speaker 1: felt performative, it felt fake, It felt uh like I

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Speaker 1: was being a fraud. I sent a video to somebody

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Speaker 1: who is who is twenty two years old and who

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Speaker 1: doesn't have long to live, and I was, what gonna

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Speaker 1: feel better about myself? And so I texted her friend

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Speaker 1: back and I said, Hey, if you went to mind,

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Speaker 1: can I call Annie? I just kind of want to,

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Speaker 1: And so she gave me her number, Any and I

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Speaker 1: started texting back and forth. Here's Any's story. Because I'm

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Speaker 1: not gonnad the who chapter, I'm gonna read about three

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Speaker 1: pages from it. But Annie was twenty two years old.

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Speaker 1: Her family's really great. I talked to her dad three

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Speaker 1: days ago, but she's she was twenty two years old.

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Speaker 1: She was diaging us with cistic fibrosis. She had too

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Speaker 1: lung transplants, and she was when I was texting with her,

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Speaker 1: she had a week before found out that she had

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Speaker 1: just been uh um declined for her third lung transplants,

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Speaker 1: so she had three weeks to live and she was

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Speaker 1: literally suffocating as we spoke and at that time I

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Speaker 1: wanted to learn from Annie. What would it look like

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Speaker 1: if you knew you had a limited amount of time left?

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Speaker 1: What would it look like if the one thing that

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Speaker 1: I believe connects us as people, if you were facing

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Speaker 1: it head on, knowing you weren't going to stop it, it

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Speaker 1: it was a train coming at you, what would you

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Speaker 1: want to do? I clicked the number and type, Hi,

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Speaker 1: any this has Ben Higgins. Caroline, give me your number.

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Speaker 1: I hope it's okay for me to text you. Annie

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Speaker 1: texted right back. I didn't have UM I don't have

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Speaker 1: her first text still, but I did save many of

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Speaker 1: those that followed. I can't bring myself to delete them.

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Speaker 1: They feel sacred to me. They're still on my phone

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Speaker 1: as we speak. I told any How she had inspired me.

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Speaker 1: She replied, yeah, I'm trying to turn this into something positive.

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Speaker 1: I always wanted to make an impact on this world,

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Speaker 1: and now I'm finally getting the chance. I always wanted

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Speaker 1: to get into YouTube or something, but as afraid of

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Speaker 1: being judge, didn't know if anyone want to hear what

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Speaker 1: I had to say. It was my dream job because

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Speaker 1: I can't have a regular job since my immune system

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Speaker 1: is so suppressed. I was sad at first, thinking finally

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Speaker 1: I can do my dream job, like maybe I have

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Speaker 1: the platform. And it kind of broke my heart, thinking

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Speaker 1: that all my dreams are being true when my life

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Speaker 1: is coming to an end. It didn't seem fair. But

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Speaker 1: I'm not going to think like that. Instead, I'm using

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Speaker 1: it to push me to get better and better so

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Speaker 1: that I can live out my dreams for as long

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Speaker 1: as I can. We texted back and forth for a

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Speaker 1: while that day and some of the next and the next,

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Speaker 1: until talking with her was like talking to any of

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Speaker 1: my other friends. She kept asking me, but I she

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Speaker 1: kept asking about me, but I want to know about her.

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Speaker 1: Her attitude and the face of death just blew me away.

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Speaker 1: Even though Annie was only twenty two, she seemed to

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Speaker 1: have have a much better grasp on life than nearly

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Speaker 1: anyone I'd ever met, and that's what I really wanted

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Speaker 1: to ask her about. I texted her, one day, you

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Speaker 1: spoke about one to help people recognize the fragility of life.

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Speaker 1: In your twenty two years, what have you learned about life?

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Speaker 1: What do you tell people? She replied, I've definitely learned

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Speaker 1: a lot, and I've spoken at many events about many

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Speaker 1: different things, such as organ donation, finding a cure for CF,

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Speaker 1: motivational speaking. But one thing I've always said was that

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Speaker 1: I'll never let CF defy me cystic fibrosis. I never

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Speaker 1: kept it hidden, but it was just a part of me.

424
00:20:27,119 --> 00:20:29,200
Speaker 1: I always made my message about how I was, how

425
00:20:29,240 --> 00:20:31,440
Speaker 1: I was a fighter, and how I'd never give up.

426
00:20:31,800 --> 00:20:34,560
Speaker 1: If I gave in, then I'd be letting CF win

427
00:20:34,640 --> 00:20:37,679
Speaker 1: and take over. I knew I was gonna die earlier

428
00:20:37,720 --> 00:20:40,440
Speaker 1: than most, and I always said that as long as

429
00:20:40,440 --> 00:20:43,919
Speaker 1: we cherish every moment and take the time to live life,

430
00:20:44,560 --> 00:20:47,840
Speaker 1: our lives would be worth it. I wept as I

431
00:20:48,119 --> 00:20:51,320
Speaker 1: read those words. I knew I was going to die

432
00:20:51,400 --> 00:20:53,800
Speaker 1: earlier than most, and I always said that as long

433
00:20:53,840 --> 00:20:56,639
Speaker 1: as we cherish every moment and take the time to

434
00:20:56,720 --> 00:20:59,280
Speaker 1: live life, our lives would be worth it. I promisingly

435
00:20:59,320 --> 00:21:03,920
Speaker 1: two more pages. I'm not gonna read this whole chapter. UM.

436
00:21:03,960 --> 00:21:06,480
Speaker 1: I had just turned thirty, which is one of those

437
00:21:06,520 --> 00:21:08,880
Speaker 1: birthdays when people act like you're old but you aren't.

438
00:21:08,960 --> 00:21:10,880
Speaker 1: Before I met Annie, I felt like I had all

439
00:21:10,880 --> 00:21:12,320
Speaker 1: the time in the world in front of me. But

440
00:21:12,400 --> 00:21:14,760
Speaker 1: reading her text, I tried to see the world through

441
00:21:14,800 --> 00:21:18,280
Speaker 1: her eyes. Life is so short it just keeps getting pushed.

442
00:21:18,320 --> 00:21:21,680
Speaker 1: It just keeps pushing you along, like one of those

443
00:21:21,720 --> 00:21:24,840
Speaker 1: moving walkways in the airport. We jump on and move

444
00:21:24,920 --> 00:21:29,119
Speaker 1: forward while life moves past us. We watch it go by,

445
00:21:29,119 --> 00:21:32,240
Speaker 1: but we are moving too quickly to grasp anything until

446
00:21:32,240 --> 00:21:35,080
Speaker 1: we hit the very end, and by then it's too late.

447
00:21:35,680 --> 00:21:38,920
Speaker 1: Annie's life was shorter than most, but life, for everyone

448
00:21:39,240 --> 00:21:43,040
Speaker 1: is just a breath. I'd always known this, but up

449
00:21:43,080 --> 00:21:45,400
Speaker 1: until that moment, I had done nothing to get out

450
00:21:45,440 --> 00:21:48,439
Speaker 1: in front of it or prepare for it. That doesn't

451
00:21:48,440 --> 00:21:50,760
Speaker 1: mean I never thought about death. I have moments where

452
00:21:50,760 --> 00:21:53,439
Speaker 1: I lay in bed and my mind starts wandering and

453
00:21:53,480 --> 00:21:56,040
Speaker 1: a darkness sweeps over me. I asked myself, what if

454
00:21:56,440 --> 00:21:59,320
Speaker 1: the only thing I've ever known is breath? Their sun

455
00:21:59,680 --> 00:22:02,720
Speaker 1: and our family and faith and love and friends and

456
00:22:02,720 --> 00:22:06,280
Speaker 1: celebration and laughter and tears and life. But what if

457
00:22:06,320 --> 00:22:09,639
Speaker 1: it were all taken away? If it's not the right word,

458
00:22:09,680 --> 00:22:12,160
Speaker 1: because it will be all taken away someday. The only

459
00:22:12,240 --> 00:22:15,160
Speaker 1: question is when can I be honest with you? Thinking

460
00:22:15,160 --> 00:22:18,680
Speaker 1: about my own mortality and how fragile life is really

461
00:22:18,720 --> 00:22:22,480
Speaker 1: scares me. Just to think that everything I've ever known,

462
00:22:22,560 --> 00:22:25,359
Speaker 1: everything I take for granted everything I've loved, all of

463
00:22:25,359 --> 00:22:27,320
Speaker 1: it will be gone in the blink of it eye,

464
00:22:27,359 --> 00:22:29,920
Speaker 1: as this life comes to an end. I am but

465
00:22:30,040 --> 00:22:34,080
Speaker 1: a breath, and so are you. And here was this

466
00:22:34,119 --> 00:22:36,560
Speaker 1: beautiful young woman telling me to cherish every moment. I

467
00:22:36,600 --> 00:22:40,520
Speaker 1: texted her back one more page. What is something you

468
00:22:40,520 --> 00:22:43,240
Speaker 1: would tell someone who was young and healthy to look

469
00:22:43,240 --> 00:22:46,359
Speaker 1: for in life? Her reply was the second half of

470
00:22:46,400 --> 00:22:50,080
Speaker 1: her last text. I'm going to include all of it

471
00:22:50,119 --> 00:22:54,119
Speaker 1: because she nails exactly what I want this chapter to say.

472
00:22:54,240 --> 00:22:56,840
Speaker 1: Then this is Annie. Then when I needed to go

473
00:22:56,960 --> 00:22:59,399
Speaker 1: to the third lung transplant, I knew I had to

474
00:22:59,400 --> 00:23:02,720
Speaker 1: fight again, and I was super tired. The last three

475
00:23:02,800 --> 00:23:04,880
Speaker 1: years a wild in terms of all the crazy health

476
00:23:04,880 --> 00:23:07,040
Speaker 1: things that went on. The doctors all told me that

477
00:23:07,080 --> 00:23:09,040
Speaker 1: if I didn't go for a third no one would

478
00:23:09,080 --> 00:23:12,760
Speaker 1: judge me because no one knows if it will even work,

479
00:23:13,040 --> 00:23:15,200
Speaker 1: since there's only been eleven in the US and three

480
00:23:15,200 --> 00:23:17,720
Speaker 1: at Duke where I was going. But I told them, nope,

481
00:23:17,760 --> 00:23:20,560
Speaker 1: I'm going to fight. I told them, if I just

482
00:23:20,600 --> 00:23:23,920
Speaker 1: get one week, uh, if I just get one week

483
00:23:23,960 --> 00:23:26,040
Speaker 1: being able to breathe again, it would all be worth

484
00:23:26,040 --> 00:23:29,199
Speaker 1: all the pain and the torture, and then I was

485
00:23:29,240 --> 00:23:31,880
Speaker 1: told it was over. There was nothing more they could do.

486
00:23:32,320 --> 00:23:34,119
Speaker 1: I was scared and frustrated and felt like I was

487
00:23:34,160 --> 00:23:38,399
Speaker 1: disappointing everyone. I didn't just fight by myself. I had friends, families, doctors.

488
00:23:38,400 --> 00:23:40,600
Speaker 1: I had my army behind me fighting too. I wanted

489
00:23:40,640 --> 00:23:43,400
Speaker 1: to continue to fight for them and for myself. When

490
00:23:43,440 --> 00:23:46,000
Speaker 1: that video was taken that went viral, the video that

491
00:23:46,040 --> 00:23:48,080
Speaker 1: I was a part of, I was so out of it.

492
00:23:49,040 --> 00:23:51,439
Speaker 1: I was told I had forty hours to live, and

493
00:23:51,480 --> 00:23:54,000
Speaker 1: so my friends wanted to cheer me up. I was

494
00:23:54,000 --> 00:23:56,119
Speaker 1: so happy and grateful to all these people were reaching

495
00:23:56,119 --> 00:23:58,520
Speaker 1: out to me. But part of me, but part of

496
00:23:58,920 --> 00:24:01,399
Speaker 1: part of it made me sad ad because yeah, I

497
00:24:01,400 --> 00:24:03,840
Speaker 1: would love to meet Taylor Swift, but the way it

498
00:24:03,880 --> 00:24:06,320
Speaker 1: was happening was because I was dying. I saw a

499
00:24:06,359 --> 00:24:09,639
Speaker 1: news article saying, gravely sick girl's final wish was to

500
00:24:09,680 --> 00:24:13,120
Speaker 1: meet Taylor Swift. That's not me. Yes, I had only

501
00:24:13,119 --> 00:24:15,280
Speaker 1: two weeks to live, but I'm so much more than

502
00:24:15,320 --> 00:24:18,800
Speaker 1: just a sick girl. My friends and family all explained

503
00:24:18,840 --> 00:24:22,480
Speaker 1: to me that they thought that they just need clickbait

504
00:24:22,680 --> 00:24:25,680
Speaker 1: and that everyone would see that. I thought my whole

505
00:24:25,720 --> 00:24:29,760
Speaker 1: life speaking about how about life and how fragile it is,

506
00:24:30,200 --> 00:24:32,280
Speaker 1: so we have to cherish everything in the moment and

507
00:24:32,320 --> 00:24:34,800
Speaker 1: just be happy. I want the world to hear my

508
00:24:35,000 --> 00:24:38,439
Speaker 1: voice because this is such an important message, as simple

509
00:24:38,920 --> 00:24:42,800
Speaker 1: as it is. I'm sure I have to stop reading,

510
00:24:42,880 --> 00:24:46,680
Speaker 1: right am I at a time? It's really your show,

511
00:24:47,400 --> 00:24:53,840
Speaker 1: It's not my show. Well anyways, well I was a passage,

512
00:24:54,520 --> 00:25:00,240
Speaker 1: and I like as someone as a reader, I'm really

513
00:25:00,240 --> 00:25:03,879
Speaker 1: glad that you shared Annie's story because it really uh

514
00:25:04,160 --> 00:25:06,600
Speaker 1: puts a lot of perspective for me as well. Like

515
00:25:06,640 --> 00:25:08,919
Speaker 1: you said, I I'm someone who definitely takes things for

516
00:25:08,960 --> 00:25:12,960
Speaker 1: granted and time and I get so stressed about things

517
00:25:13,000 --> 00:25:16,159
Speaker 1: that should not matter. And I think some reading someone's

518
00:25:16,160 --> 00:25:19,560
Speaker 1: story like Annie's just you know, makes me look at

519
00:25:19,600 --> 00:25:21,880
Speaker 1: life in such a different ones. Yeah, when you think

520
00:25:21,920 --> 00:25:23,680
Speaker 1: back on all the passages in the book, I think

521
00:25:23,720 --> 00:25:25,320
Speaker 1: Annie's is one of the ones that I felt like

522
00:25:25,440 --> 00:25:28,320
Speaker 1: personally just like hit me a little harder. It is

523
00:25:28,320 --> 00:25:30,240
Speaker 1: crazy how someone ten years your junior can give you

524
00:25:30,320 --> 00:25:33,879
Speaker 1: so much more perspective on life, you know, absolutely her

525
00:25:33,920 --> 00:25:36,840
Speaker 1: family reached out two days ago. Um and he has

526
00:25:36,880 --> 00:25:40,280
Speaker 1: been gone for a year and a half now, um

527
00:25:40,320 --> 00:25:44,439
Speaker 1: And I read that chapter because I think if in

528
00:25:44,520 --> 00:25:46,480
Speaker 1: tonight's thing, like you know, I was sitting here before

529
00:25:46,480 --> 00:25:47,920
Speaker 1: and I haven't had a lot of time to celebrate

530
00:25:47,960 --> 00:25:51,800
Speaker 1: this book. Uh, launching of books really weird. You like,

531
00:25:52,160 --> 00:25:54,600
Speaker 1: work on this thing for a long time, you package

532
00:25:54,640 --> 00:25:57,360
Speaker 1: it up, you get super excited about it, it gets

533
00:25:57,400 --> 00:25:59,280
Speaker 1: out there in the world, and you have no clue

534
00:26:00,119 --> 00:26:02,439
Speaker 1: how to gauge it. Like you know, I'm not a

535
00:26:02,440 --> 00:26:06,960
Speaker 1: New York Times bestseller, um, you know, And and that's great.

536
00:26:06,960 --> 00:26:09,159
Speaker 1: I didn't expect to be. But it's it's like this

537
00:26:09,200 --> 00:26:11,680
Speaker 1: weird thing where it's like what is what is success?

538
00:26:11,760 --> 00:26:13,480
Speaker 1: Or how do you celebrate this or what does it mean?

539
00:26:13,520 --> 00:26:14,920
Speaker 1: And I think the thing that I want to celebrate

540
00:26:14,920 --> 00:26:16,800
Speaker 1: and get to celebrating more of is the fact that

541
00:26:16,800 --> 00:26:18,119
Speaker 1: there's a book out there that I wrote that I

542
00:26:18,119 --> 00:26:19,720
Speaker 1: took a lot of time on, and that's really cool.

543
00:26:20,160 --> 00:26:22,240
Speaker 1: And I don't want to take that for granted. I don't.

544
00:26:22,440 --> 00:26:24,800
Speaker 1: And I want people watching this to to look at

545
00:26:24,800 --> 00:26:26,720
Speaker 1: the things around them right now, like the fact you

546
00:26:26,760 --> 00:26:29,200
Speaker 1: have your arm around Ashley Jared, or that Dean has

547
00:26:29,200 --> 00:26:32,280
Speaker 1: pappies sleeping next to him, um right now, Like those

548
00:26:32,320 --> 00:26:35,000
Speaker 1: are things to celebrate, and I read that because I

549
00:26:35,040 --> 00:26:37,480
Speaker 1: hope somebody out there watching this can just recognize that

550
00:26:37,520 --> 00:26:40,359
Speaker 1: even when when things are really tough, and when life

551
00:26:40,400 --> 00:26:42,359
Speaker 1: is but a breath and moving past you faster than

552
00:26:42,359 --> 00:26:44,399
Speaker 1: you can imagine, and there's chaos and there's confusion, and

553
00:26:44,440 --> 00:26:46,000
Speaker 1: you don't know when to speak and what to say,

554
00:26:46,280 --> 00:26:48,199
Speaker 1: you don't know what to celebrate anymore, that maybe, just

555
00:26:48,280 --> 00:26:51,920
Speaker 1: possibly we can slow down for enough time to celebrate

556
00:26:51,960 --> 00:26:54,479
Speaker 1: the fact that we're here, um, and the fact that

557
00:26:54,480 --> 00:26:58,080
Speaker 1: that that matters quite a bit. So Um, that's why

558
00:26:58,080 --> 00:27:00,880
Speaker 1: I read that. Any story goes on to talk more,

559
00:27:01,040 --> 00:27:02,719
Speaker 1: and you can read the whole thing for yourself if

560
00:27:02,760 --> 00:27:04,760
Speaker 1: you go and pick up the book. But her story

561
00:27:04,800 --> 00:27:08,119
Speaker 1: moves on until the moment that obviously the tech stop,

562
00:27:08,400 --> 00:27:10,560
Speaker 1: and um, Annie was no longer with us. And I

563
00:27:10,600 --> 00:27:12,359
Speaker 1: got a text from her friend Caroline telling me that

564
00:27:12,400 --> 00:27:14,560
Speaker 1: Annie was no longer with us. But I have been

565
00:27:14,560 --> 00:27:18,560
Speaker 1: able to contact your family and and talk with her

566
00:27:18,640 --> 00:27:21,159
Speaker 1: dad and and see that, and it still kind of

567
00:27:21,160 --> 00:27:26,200
Speaker 1: tears me up a bit. Um, but uh, it was

568
00:27:26,240 --> 00:27:28,880
Speaker 1: a special life. So anyways, that's a piece of Alana planes.

569
00:27:28,920 --> 00:27:31,880
Speaker 1: I promise you, I do promise you. But the book

570
00:27:31,920 --> 00:27:34,920
Speaker 1: is not this like if it's I hope it doesn't

571
00:27:34,920 --> 00:27:37,600
Speaker 1: send you in a too a tailspin of that was

572
00:27:37,600 --> 00:27:39,480
Speaker 1: the that would the opposite of what my intention was.

573
00:27:39,520 --> 00:27:42,359
Speaker 1: I hope it kind of confronts the heavy things and

574
00:27:42,400 --> 00:27:44,240
Speaker 1: pulls you back out of it to a place where

575
00:27:44,440 --> 00:27:48,440
Speaker 1: truth or or understanding comes from. It was. It was beautiful,

576
00:27:48,520 --> 00:27:54,240
Speaker 1: my friends, And yeah, it's just awesome. So keep up

577
00:27:54,280 --> 00:27:56,439
Speaker 1: the good work. I think Dean and I unfortunately do

578
00:27:56,520 --> 00:27:57,879
Speaker 1: have to get out of here because you guys do

579
00:27:57,960 --> 00:28:01,719
Speaker 1: have guests. Uh you are popular are people? Um so

580
00:28:01,960 --> 00:28:05,440
Speaker 1: love you, buddy. Congratulations, We're so excited for you. Thanks

581
00:28:05,480 --> 00:28:19,480
Speaker 1: for coming on. All right, well then, um, we have

582
00:28:20,080 --> 00:28:22,919
Speaker 1: wells up first, and I know that I want you

583
00:28:22,960 --> 00:28:26,440
Speaker 1: to lead all these conversations. I'm really just an audience member. Um,

584
00:28:26,480 --> 00:28:30,280
Speaker 1: but we're gonna talk about, you know, how how the

585
00:28:30,359 --> 00:28:32,879
Speaker 1: story is in your book, Like if I believe this

586
00:28:32,960 --> 00:28:35,960
Speaker 1: is your intention, that, like you're gonna ask kind of

587
00:28:36,080 --> 00:28:40,520
Speaker 1: us are moments in our lives that we felt the

588
00:28:40,560 --> 00:28:44,040
Speaker 1: most alone and like what we've learned from them? Right? Yeah? Yeah,

589
00:28:44,040 --> 00:28:45,480
Speaker 1: I have a couple of questions lined up for each

590
00:28:45,480 --> 00:28:48,440
Speaker 1: one of these guests, uh specifically, and you're gonna be

591
00:28:48,480 --> 00:28:51,840
Speaker 1: answering every one of those questions along the way. So

592
00:28:51,840 --> 00:28:54,800
Speaker 1: I'm putting you in the hot seat. Ashley and Wells,

593
00:28:55,040 --> 00:28:58,320
Speaker 1: Welcome to the almost famous live show celebrating alone a

594
00:28:58,360 --> 00:29:03,200
Speaker 1: place that you are looking at. Helm. Sorry, I had

595
00:29:03,200 --> 00:29:06,240
Speaker 1: to step out because I was crying listening to that

596
00:29:06,800 --> 00:29:10,080
Speaker 1: little excerpt and I had to go powder this because

597
00:29:10,120 --> 00:29:12,960
Speaker 1: it was bad. I was wondering, are you gonna read

598
00:29:13,040 --> 00:29:17,120
Speaker 1: the excerpt about when you when uh from the book

599
00:29:17,160 --> 00:29:19,920
Speaker 1: that talks about when you met me and how happy

600
00:29:20,000 --> 00:29:24,280
Speaker 1: your life became afterwards? Or is that that's in the

601
00:29:24,320 --> 00:29:28,560
Speaker 1: acknowledgements that haven't been included yet. Yeah, yeah, okay, cool,

602
00:29:28,600 --> 00:29:30,160
Speaker 1: cool cool. I was just I don't know, like, I

603
00:29:30,200 --> 00:29:32,320
Speaker 1: didn't know if we wanted to do it now or later.

604
00:29:32,480 --> 00:29:36,840
Speaker 1: But yeah, that's fine, your thing, all right, Ben? What's

605
00:29:36,880 --> 00:29:39,000
Speaker 1: your first question for both of Muh? I look at

606
00:29:39,040 --> 00:29:41,200
Speaker 1: the two of you. I'm going to compliment you guys,

607
00:29:41,520 --> 00:29:44,960
Speaker 1: uh because I love you both very much. I think

608
00:29:44,960 --> 00:29:48,000
Speaker 1: you both know how much I care about you both. Um.

609
00:29:48,040 --> 00:29:50,680
Speaker 1: There is a big section in here on friendship and

610
00:29:50,880 --> 00:29:53,040
Speaker 1: the idea of community. So I'm gonna ask you both

611
00:29:53,040 --> 00:29:55,600
Speaker 1: two questions about this. One of them is, Wells, when

612
00:29:55,600 --> 00:29:57,520
Speaker 1: you think of your friendships. Actually you're gonna answer the

613
00:29:57,520 --> 00:30:00,280
Speaker 1: same question after he does. When you think of in ships,

614
00:30:00,320 --> 00:30:02,320
Speaker 1: what do you look for in friendships? What makes a

615
00:30:02,360 --> 00:30:09,160
Speaker 1: friendship worth investing into? Ladies first, Okay, well, I would

616
00:30:09,200 --> 00:30:13,120
Speaker 1: say that probably just like compatibility and common interests at

617
00:30:13,200 --> 00:30:18,400
Speaker 1: first in a friendship, and then just like being able

618
00:30:18,640 --> 00:30:22,480
Speaker 1: to talk to each other like completely judgment free, right

619
00:30:22,640 --> 00:30:25,320
Speaker 1: to be able to vent but not to feel guilty

620
00:30:25,360 --> 00:30:30,200
Speaker 1: about your needs event, but also to um to like

621
00:30:30,360 --> 00:30:32,560
Speaker 1: know that even if you're not saying like the most

622
00:30:32,640 --> 00:30:37,480
Speaker 1: pleasant things, that they get it like that. Um, I'd

623
00:30:37,560 --> 00:30:43,920
Speaker 1: say loyalty is pretty important to me, um in terms

624
00:30:43,920 --> 00:30:47,240
Speaker 1: of friendship, Like I need to know that if if

625
00:30:47,280 --> 00:30:50,840
Speaker 1: we go to the club and I do I say

626
00:30:50,880 --> 00:30:53,400
Speaker 1: something stupid, I need to know that you're not going

627
00:30:53,440 --> 00:30:56,040
Speaker 1: to go tell everyone about it. I need to know

628
00:30:56,080 --> 00:31:02,040
Speaker 1: that you're on my team, all right? Um? What else

629
00:31:02,200 --> 00:31:06,960
Speaker 1: is important? I think that we need to uh both

630
00:31:07,080 --> 00:31:11,520
Speaker 1: like Seinfeld, that's importantly. Do you need those common interests

631
00:31:11,560 --> 00:31:14,760
Speaker 1: to bond you? Immediately? I play, Yeah, you can't be

632
00:31:14,800 --> 00:31:17,120
Speaker 1: a terrible golfer, because then what are we gonna do

633
00:31:17,160 --> 00:31:20,320
Speaker 1: on Saturdays? You know all that stuff. That's why Ben

634
00:31:20,320 --> 00:31:24,760
Speaker 1: and I are so close because we're just both amazing golfers,

635
00:31:24,760 --> 00:31:28,000
Speaker 1: fantastic golfers. I'm gonna try a different Internet because this

636
00:31:28,040 --> 00:31:31,400
Speaker 1: is really frustrating me. This is a little better. Yeah

637
00:31:31,760 --> 00:31:35,640
Speaker 1: sounds good right now? Okay, Well, one of the cool

638
00:31:35,720 --> 00:31:38,720
Speaker 1: parts uh about both those things that I think is

639
00:31:38,720 --> 00:31:41,440
Speaker 1: really interesting is like we do need friendship, right though. Uh,

640
00:31:41,480 --> 00:31:43,000
Speaker 1: And that's kind of what the book talks about, is

641
00:31:43,040 --> 00:31:45,720
Speaker 1: the power of community. Uh. And the fact that community

642
00:31:45,760 --> 00:31:48,960
Speaker 1: makes our lives more rich. Um, it makes our lives

643
00:31:49,000 --> 00:31:51,720
Speaker 1: more valuable, oftentimes more complex. It's not always easy to

644
00:31:51,800 --> 00:31:55,240
Speaker 1: enter in those friendships. But you know, you both talked

645
00:31:55,280 --> 00:31:58,240
Speaker 1: about that idea that friends do matter, and neither one

646
00:31:58,280 --> 00:32:01,720
Speaker 1: of you said, Hey, I don't really need in my life. Uh,

647
00:32:01,760 --> 00:32:03,880
Speaker 1: I don't really need to have other people enter And

648
00:32:03,920 --> 00:32:05,880
Speaker 1: you both have been friends to me through your time

649
00:32:05,920 --> 00:32:07,800
Speaker 1: on the Bachelor. So my second question for you guys

650
00:32:07,840 --> 00:32:10,600
Speaker 1: on three your time is on the Bachelor. Has it

651
00:32:10,640 --> 00:32:14,080
Speaker 1: increased your your ideas of community and your friendships or

652
00:32:14,120 --> 00:32:18,320
Speaker 1: has it kind of like pushed those friends aside? Oh,

653
00:32:18,360 --> 00:32:22,520
Speaker 1: I feel like the Bachelor had actually got to create

654
00:32:22,720 --> 00:32:25,880
Speaker 1: a community for me that I feel like I never

655
00:32:26,000 --> 00:32:28,959
Speaker 1: had because I was always that person who had friends

656
00:32:29,000 --> 00:32:31,320
Speaker 1: like in different groups, and I was never in a

657
00:32:31,400 --> 00:32:34,680
Speaker 1: sorority or anything like that. Yeah, I just felt like

658
00:32:34,680 --> 00:32:37,040
Speaker 1: all my friends were kind of separate, Like I'd have

659
00:32:37,160 --> 00:32:39,960
Speaker 1: four core girlfriends that we would you know, go to

660
00:32:40,000 --> 00:32:42,200
Speaker 1: concerts and hang out with very sex in the city. Like,

661
00:32:42,400 --> 00:32:45,800
Speaker 1: but besides that, there wasn't like a community feel. And

662
00:32:45,840 --> 00:32:48,400
Speaker 1: the Bachelor gave me that and that was very exciting,

663
00:32:48,640 --> 00:32:51,240
Speaker 1: but something I didn't know that I really needed until

664
00:32:51,640 --> 00:32:54,120
Speaker 1: it started happening, or like I didn't think that it

665
00:32:54,160 --> 00:32:57,320
Speaker 1: would enhance my life as much as a death. Yeah,

666
00:32:57,360 --> 00:33:00,720
Speaker 1: I think enhancement is a good word for this question.

667
00:33:00,840 --> 00:33:04,400
Speaker 1: Like I always had my friends and and my close

668
00:33:04,480 --> 00:33:09,160
Speaker 1: knit like crew, but um it, it gave me like

669
00:33:09,200 --> 00:33:13,920
Speaker 1: this whole other layer of of community that I didn't

670
00:33:14,520 --> 00:33:17,360
Speaker 1: have before even know that I needed, and also gave

671
00:33:17,400 --> 00:33:21,320
Speaker 1: me a bunch of people that understood the weirdness that

672
00:33:21,400 --> 00:33:23,720
Speaker 1: my life turned into, which I think was important because

673
00:33:23,720 --> 00:33:27,000
Speaker 1: a lot of my older friends just really couldn't relate. Um.

674
00:33:27,040 --> 00:33:30,040
Speaker 1: But yeah, it's I would say the whole Bachelor thing

675
00:33:30,440 --> 00:33:34,800
Speaker 1: did such a great job of bringing um, so many

676
00:33:34,840 --> 00:33:37,520
Speaker 1: more people into my lives, Like these two idiots right

677
00:33:37,520 --> 00:33:42,640
Speaker 1: here and this beautiful woman right here, who's bringing me

678
00:33:42,680 --> 00:33:50,160
Speaker 1: a drink? That's amazing. Um, I haven't been about friends

679
00:33:50,240 --> 00:33:56,600
Speaker 1: that do you guys remember the first friend you ever made? Yes, okay, Ben?

680
00:33:56,720 --> 00:34:00,800
Speaker 1: Who is it? Like? How did it go? James Poe

681
00:34:00,920 --> 00:34:04,640
Speaker 1: is his name. I was on the playground playing pickup basketball.

682
00:34:04,680 --> 00:34:06,200
Speaker 1: I was an only child, so I came into school

683
00:34:06,240 --> 00:34:08,959
Speaker 1: without any friends, really any connection. I kind of lived

684
00:34:08,960 --> 00:34:10,439
Speaker 1: in a place that didn't have a lot of people

685
00:34:10,520 --> 00:34:12,480
Speaker 1: my age. I don't really know anybody coming into school.

686
00:34:13,239 --> 00:34:15,400
Speaker 1: And he was a good basketball player and he was

687
00:34:15,440 --> 00:34:17,000
Speaker 1: the coolest kidnar grade. And so I went out and

688
00:34:17,000 --> 00:34:19,799
Speaker 1: I started playing one on one against him and he's like,

689
00:34:20,120 --> 00:34:22,640
Speaker 1: how about we play tomorrow? And I and I knew

690
00:34:22,680 --> 00:34:25,080
Speaker 1: he was my first friend. That's how my first friendships

691
00:34:25,160 --> 00:34:28,560
Speaker 1: I were still friends of the day. That's so cute. Well,

692
00:34:30,080 --> 00:34:35,279
Speaker 1: my first friend was Ryan Plachi. Um I met him

693
00:34:35,360 --> 00:34:42,359
Speaker 1: in preschool and he was my first best friend and

694
00:34:42,400 --> 00:34:45,680
Speaker 1: he still is my best friend. And um I was

695
00:34:45,719 --> 00:34:47,799
Speaker 1: the best man at his wedding and he'll be in

696
00:34:47,880 --> 00:34:56,440
Speaker 1: mine and um yeah, my favorite memory, My favorite memory

697
00:34:56,440 --> 00:35:02,279
Speaker 1: of him is, uh, there was a sport we had

698
00:35:02,760 --> 00:35:04,319
Speaker 1: down the street and there was it was like in

699
00:35:04,400 --> 00:35:08,520
Speaker 1: this big hollowed out tree, right, and so like the

700
00:35:08,520 --> 00:35:09,959
Speaker 1: four was on top of the tree, but you could

701
00:35:09,960 --> 00:35:12,440
Speaker 1: go in like down to the ground and the trees

702
00:35:12,880 --> 00:35:15,600
Speaker 1: was like hollowed out around you. From one day he

703
00:35:15,640 --> 00:35:20,400
Speaker 1: had he had diarrhea and he went in there to

704
00:35:20,520 --> 00:35:25,239
Speaker 1: diarrhea and our parents came to drive up and was like,

705
00:35:25,320 --> 00:35:29,480
Speaker 1: where's Ryan. Where's Ryan. We're looking for Ryan, and I

706
00:35:29,560 --> 00:35:43,560
Speaker 1: was like, he's diary ng in the tree right now. Um.

707
00:35:43,719 --> 00:35:48,799
Speaker 1: Their names were Christina and Jessica Musto. And this is

708
00:35:48,840 --> 00:35:51,560
Speaker 1: a sad story in the way that like I am

709
00:35:51,600 --> 00:35:54,239
Speaker 1: no longer attached to them so much so to the

710
00:35:54,280 --> 00:35:56,879
Speaker 1: point that when I friended them on Facebook about six

711
00:35:57,000 --> 00:36:00,200
Speaker 1: years ago, they go, I'm sorry, who are you? And

712
00:36:00,200 --> 00:36:03,240
Speaker 1: I'm like, that's sad because I have been bid memories

713
00:36:03,280 --> 00:36:06,760
Speaker 1: about you. Guys literally calling my name and be like Ashley,

714
00:36:06,880 --> 00:36:09,640
Speaker 1: come out to play. That's what they'd always that was

715
00:36:09,680 --> 00:36:12,040
Speaker 1: their calling card for me. And then I'd go downstairs

716
00:36:12,080 --> 00:36:15,719
Speaker 1: and so there their parents owned the apartment that we

717
00:36:15,719 --> 00:36:18,840
Speaker 1: were living in as a kid, and uh, we'd always

718
00:36:18,840 --> 00:36:22,680
Speaker 1: just put in their yard. Well, hey, I do I

719
00:36:22,680 --> 00:36:24,440
Speaker 1: will say this to close that thought. Then I do

720
00:36:24,480 --> 00:36:26,680
Speaker 1: think there's a power and community. I think it creates memories.

721
00:36:26,719 --> 00:36:29,400
Speaker 1: I think it helps us become more interested, and I

722
00:36:29,440 --> 00:36:31,160
Speaker 1: like kind of like Wells is saying, I think it

723
00:36:31,200 --> 00:36:34,600
Speaker 1: helps us be our freest versions of ourselves. Wells, things

724
00:36:34,600 --> 00:36:36,120
Speaker 1: are coming on and I love you, buddy. You're a

725
00:36:36,120 --> 00:36:39,800
Speaker 1: good friend to me always. But before you go, I

726
00:36:39,840 --> 00:36:41,840
Speaker 1: do want to give a couple of shout outs. Uh,

727
00:36:42,000 --> 00:36:45,600
Speaker 1: you are a fan favorite. Absolutely. People love you not

728
00:36:45,640 --> 00:36:47,120
Speaker 1: only from your time on the show, but your time

729
00:36:47,160 --> 00:36:50,680
Speaker 1: after the show. You've been the bartender from Bachelor in Paradise,

730
00:36:51,120 --> 00:36:53,080
Speaker 1: which is weird that you're probably best known for that

731
00:36:53,160 --> 00:36:55,200
Speaker 1: from the whole show now considering you were on a season,

732
00:36:55,280 --> 00:36:57,799
Speaker 1: but that's a whole different deal. Uh. You are the

733
00:36:57,800 --> 00:37:01,879
Speaker 1: host of the Wells Cast podcast. Um you sit down

734
00:37:01,880 --> 00:37:05,239
Speaker 1: with celebrities, experts, newsmakers to find out where they came

735
00:37:05,280 --> 00:37:08,240
Speaker 1: from and how their story began. It's a really cool podcast.

736
00:37:08,280 --> 00:37:10,040
Speaker 1: And you and I share very similar interest in music

737
00:37:10,040 --> 00:37:11,880
Speaker 1: and I listen to that because I know your perspective

738
00:37:12,360 --> 00:37:14,279
Speaker 1: is always something to listen to. Well, thanks for joining

739
00:37:14,360 --> 00:37:17,440
Speaker 1: us to night, Ben, Thanks so much for having me.

740
00:37:17,600 --> 00:37:20,200
Speaker 1: So proud of you for doing this. I know this

741
00:37:20,280 --> 00:37:23,040
Speaker 1: was tough You've been telling me about this for a

742
00:37:23,040 --> 00:37:27,359
Speaker 1: long time now, and to see it come to light,

743
00:37:27,520 --> 00:37:31,640
Speaker 1: come to fruition, is just really inspiring. I like the

744
00:37:31,680 --> 00:37:34,960
Speaker 1: fact that you were able to write these this many pages,

745
00:37:38,680 --> 00:37:40,640
Speaker 1: like I didn't for me to do that. It's not

746
00:37:40,680 --> 00:37:43,720
Speaker 1: that impressive. I just think back to like my days

747
00:37:43,800 --> 00:37:45,799
Speaker 1: of like writing essays, and I just like if I

748
00:37:45,840 --> 00:37:47,319
Speaker 1: were to write a book, there will be a lot

749
00:37:47,360 --> 00:37:52,319
Speaker 1: of like furthermore, like a lot of those things that

750
00:37:52,360 --> 00:37:54,480
Speaker 1: you'd like try to get the word count up. So

751
00:37:54,640 --> 00:37:57,320
Speaker 1: this is impressive, bro. Uh. And also I've read a

752
00:37:57,360 --> 00:37:59,600
Speaker 1: little bit of it. It's absolutely beautiful books. So you

753
00:37:59,640 --> 00:38:01,880
Speaker 1: should be really proud, and I'm proud to be your buddy,

754
00:38:01,920 --> 00:38:04,839
Speaker 1: and I can't wait for the second one that's all

755
00:38:04,840 --> 00:38:20,320
Speaker 1: about me. So I love you, buddy. Thanks for coming on. Hey, Blake,

756
00:38:20,400 --> 00:38:26,280
Speaker 1: what's up? What's up? Guys? Actually the answer that actually

757
00:38:26,360 --> 00:38:28,080
Speaker 1: is just asked me how you put so many words

758
00:38:28,080 --> 00:38:30,560
Speaker 1: in a book? Well, one, it's really easy. When it

759
00:38:30,600 --> 00:38:33,760
Speaker 1: takes two years, you move very slowly and you gather

760
00:38:34,360 --> 00:38:36,839
Speaker 1: a lot of stuff and you you know what helped me.

761
00:38:37,000 --> 00:38:39,520
Speaker 1: So you'll see a second name on that cover mark

762
00:38:39,600 --> 00:38:44,000
Speaker 1: tab and it was about uh seven months left in

763
00:38:44,040 --> 00:38:46,480
Speaker 1: the writing process, I believe for me and I hit

764
00:38:46,520 --> 00:38:49,520
Speaker 1: a wall, a bad wall, especially for the last two

765
00:38:49,560 --> 00:38:51,440
Speaker 1: sections of the book. I was no longer able to

766
00:38:51,480 --> 00:38:54,239
Speaker 1: pull out anything emotionally inside of me. So one thing

767
00:38:54,280 --> 00:38:56,799
Speaker 1: that we started doing was I voiced a lot of

768
00:38:56,800 --> 00:38:59,200
Speaker 1: the chapters. I think I told you this. Actually I

769
00:38:59,200 --> 00:39:01,800
Speaker 1: would walk through and talk through how I wanted the

770
00:39:01,880 --> 00:39:03,800
Speaker 1: chapters to go, what I wanted to say, what should

771
00:39:03,800 --> 00:39:06,480
Speaker 1: be included, and Mark helped me formulate a lot of

772
00:39:06,480 --> 00:39:09,360
Speaker 1: these thoughts into like a readable format um for the

773
00:39:09,480 --> 00:39:12,480
Speaker 1: probably last yeah, i'd say forty pages or so. He

774
00:39:12,520 --> 00:39:14,520
Speaker 1: was actively involved in that, and then I would write

775
00:39:14,960 --> 00:39:16,759
Speaker 1: all of it down and then he would take it

776
00:39:16,800 --> 00:39:19,200
Speaker 1: and it was a good partnership. That was one way.

777
00:39:19,200 --> 00:39:20,920
Speaker 1: I can't take all the credit for this, but I

778
00:39:20,960 --> 00:39:22,719
Speaker 1: can't take credit for the words that are in there.

779
00:39:23,040 --> 00:39:26,160
Speaker 1: Those are my words. I cannot take credit for being

780
00:39:26,160 --> 00:39:29,799
Speaker 1: able to organize this in such a readable way completely

781
00:39:29,920 --> 00:39:32,600
Speaker 1: because I did have a lot of a lot of help,

782
00:39:32,760 --> 00:39:34,960
Speaker 1: and I think most authors do. I think most authors

783
00:39:35,000 --> 00:39:36,719
Speaker 1: to just have one name on the title probably have

784
00:39:36,719 --> 00:39:39,120
Speaker 1: a huge editing team behind them that are coaching along.

785
00:39:39,160 --> 00:39:41,440
Speaker 1: I just thought, hey, this dude's out with beside me

786
00:39:41,480 --> 00:39:43,400
Speaker 1: and asked me a bunch of hard questions, and so

787
00:39:43,560 --> 00:39:46,640
Speaker 1: let's show his name on the title because he's incredible. Blake,

788
00:39:47,520 --> 00:39:49,760
Speaker 1: I have a question for you, man. Tonight, our guests

789
00:39:50,120 --> 00:39:51,759
Speaker 1: are gonna be able to talk about what you're up to,

790
00:39:51,840 --> 00:39:53,279
Speaker 1: and I can't wait for that. We'll close it that,

791
00:39:54,040 --> 00:39:56,239
Speaker 1: but each guest that are is coming on, I've kind of,

792
00:39:56,480 --> 00:40:00,080
Speaker 1: um kind of picked out some questions from the book

793
00:40:00,120 --> 00:40:01,560
Speaker 1: that I just want to ask you personally. And this

794
00:40:01,600 --> 00:40:04,600
Speaker 1: is one that um is interesting in me because of

795
00:40:04,600 --> 00:40:06,759
Speaker 1: your story and and then Ashley is gonna answer this

796
00:40:06,800 --> 00:40:09,359
Speaker 1: as well. The question for you is you've been open

797
00:40:09,400 --> 00:40:11,359
Speaker 1: about your you know, your time on the show and

798
00:40:11,400 --> 00:40:13,759
Speaker 1: also your time with mental health. I know you've talked

799
00:40:13,760 --> 00:40:15,960
Speaker 1: about a lot. It's it's not really something that's hidden

800
00:40:15,960 --> 00:40:19,400
Speaker 1: at this point, but within those moments, uh, something that

801
00:40:19,440 --> 00:40:21,800
Speaker 1: doesn't get dove dove into very often is how alone

802
00:40:22,000 --> 00:40:24,839
Speaker 1: you felt? Um and uh, and I want to ask

803
00:40:24,880 --> 00:40:26,799
Speaker 1: you just the the simple question of is there a

804
00:40:26,800 --> 00:40:28,640
Speaker 1: moment in your life that you felt alone? If it's

805
00:40:28,640 --> 00:40:30,320
Speaker 1: about the show, that would be great because people watching

806
00:40:30,360 --> 00:40:33,080
Speaker 1: probably do enjoy the show. Uh. And if so, how

807
00:40:33,080 --> 00:40:36,040
Speaker 1: did you work through that, what did it feel like? Uh?

808
00:40:36,080 --> 00:40:39,919
Speaker 1: And actually I'm gonna ask you the same thing. Um,

809
00:40:40,000 --> 00:40:41,920
Speaker 1: you know, I'm sure that there are you know, obviously,

810
00:40:41,920 --> 00:40:43,600
Speaker 1: the biggest one that sticks out to me when I've

811
00:40:43,640 --> 00:40:46,480
Speaker 1: felt the you know, the loneliest was definitely coming off

812
00:40:46,480 --> 00:40:50,120
Speaker 1: a paradise. Um. You know that was that was for

813
00:40:50,200 --> 00:40:52,319
Speaker 1: multiple reasons. That was a very difficult time for me.

814
00:40:52,400 --> 00:40:56,239
Speaker 1: But UM, when I say alone, it's not that you know,

815
00:40:56,280 --> 00:40:58,920
Speaker 1: I had family around me, I had friends. It wasn't

816
00:40:58,960 --> 00:41:01,120
Speaker 1: in the sense that I was actually physically alone. It

817
00:41:01,160 --> 00:41:02,640
Speaker 1: was more in the sense that I felt like nobody

818
00:41:02,680 --> 00:41:05,560
Speaker 1: could relate to what I was going through. And you know,

819
00:41:06,080 --> 00:41:08,080
Speaker 1: I was almost scared at time to talk about what

820
00:41:08,120 --> 00:41:10,880
Speaker 1: I was going through because, um, it was you know,

821
00:41:10,960 --> 00:41:14,920
Speaker 1: shamed or looked down upon to be you know, anxious, depressed,

822
00:41:15,000 --> 00:41:17,239
Speaker 1: especially as a man, and the sigma that comes with that.

823
00:41:17,680 --> 00:41:20,160
Speaker 1: And so I felt alone in the sense that nobody,

824
00:41:20,200 --> 00:41:22,000
Speaker 1: you know what could relate to what I was going through.

825
00:41:22,040 --> 00:41:25,040
Speaker 1: So that's why in your book at times been it's

826
00:41:25,080 --> 00:41:27,560
Speaker 1: and and you know other should not only men, but

827
00:41:27,600 --> 00:41:31,319
Speaker 1: everyone that speaks out about their their struggles and kind

828
00:41:31,320 --> 00:41:35,239
Speaker 1: of their experiences. Um, it just helps others feel more

829
00:41:35,280 --> 00:41:38,239
Speaker 1: comfortable in talking about it. And when you talk about it, um,

830
00:41:38,280 --> 00:41:40,080
Speaker 1: it allows you to get through it. Not only you

831
00:41:40,120 --> 00:41:43,759
Speaker 1: know faster, um, but it also helps down the line

832
00:41:43,760 --> 00:41:45,319
Speaker 1: because you you still I still have my bad days

833
00:41:45,320 --> 00:41:46,959
Speaker 1: in my good days, but I'm able to, I guess,

834
00:41:46,960 --> 00:41:49,160
Speaker 1: recover faster if you will, because I'm able to reach

835
00:41:49,200 --> 00:41:51,960
Speaker 1: out to certain people that I know will we can

836
00:41:52,040 --> 00:41:53,719
Speaker 1: relate and we'll talk about it. And so I mean

837
00:41:53,840 --> 00:41:56,560
Speaker 1: there are times reading this Ben where in a weird way,

838
00:41:56,640 --> 00:41:58,360
Speaker 1: like I'm like feel like I'm kind of reading like

839
00:41:58,360 --> 00:42:00,480
Speaker 1: your diary at a time, but like in the best way,

840
00:42:00,520 --> 00:42:02,279
Speaker 1: you know, because you're so vulnerable and open in it.

841
00:42:02,600 --> 00:42:05,800
Speaker 1: And that means a lot to people who do feel alone,

842
00:42:05,840 --> 00:42:07,480
Speaker 1: because you know, even if it's just one person, that's

843
00:42:07,520 --> 00:42:09,520
Speaker 1: always say I talked about my experience on the show,

844
00:42:09,560 --> 00:42:11,239
Speaker 1: And if it affects just one person and they feel

845
00:42:11,239 --> 00:42:13,400
Speaker 1: comfortable enough to speak on or to reach out to

846
00:42:13,400 --> 00:42:15,560
Speaker 1: somebody or to seek therapy, then you know, that's that's

847
00:42:15,560 --> 00:42:18,120
Speaker 1: what worth it. So yeah, so shout shout out to you,

848
00:42:18,239 --> 00:42:21,400
Speaker 1: making a lot more people feel, you know, not not lonely.

849
00:42:21,480 --> 00:42:23,840
Speaker 1: So it's interesting because it did start out as a

850
00:42:23,920 --> 00:42:32,960
Speaker 1: journal um, and oh well, while Ben is rebooting, UM,

851
00:42:33,000 --> 00:42:36,040
Speaker 1: I will share the story of when I was felt

852
00:42:36,080 --> 00:42:40,239
Speaker 1: most alone, and that was when, probably like getting into

853
00:42:40,320 --> 00:42:44,080
Speaker 1: my twenties, when I was the only person in my

854
00:42:44,200 --> 00:42:46,439
Speaker 1: friend group. I was starting to be the only person

855
00:42:46,440 --> 00:42:48,840
Speaker 1: in my friend group who had never had a boyfriend

856
00:42:49,440 --> 00:42:53,840
Speaker 1: and I had never had sex, and the whole virgin

857
00:42:53,960 --> 00:42:59,360
Speaker 1: thing was getting me to feel very um. I couldn't

858
00:42:59,360 --> 00:43:01,800
Speaker 1: relate to a lot of people at that point because

859
00:43:01,800 --> 00:43:04,239
Speaker 1: I was like the only one left and I was

860
00:43:04,320 --> 00:43:08,600
Speaker 1: and it was very much out of choice. But when

861
00:43:08,640 --> 00:43:11,520
Speaker 1: the conversation, when conversations would come up in groups of

862
00:43:11,560 --> 00:43:14,600
Speaker 1: friends that didn't know that I was a virgin, and

863
00:43:15,000 --> 00:43:17,640
Speaker 1: they'd start talking about like their best time or their

864
00:43:17,680 --> 00:43:20,759
Speaker 1: first time, I'd be like, does anybody need anything else

865
00:43:20,800 --> 00:43:22,520
Speaker 1: to drink? And I'd like, you know, Joe, Bob and

866
00:43:22,560 --> 00:43:24,759
Speaker 1: would be like so awkward because I just I was like,

867
00:43:24,800 --> 00:43:26,799
Speaker 1: how do we get off this topic? How do I

868
00:43:26,920 --> 00:43:30,000
Speaker 1: not let on this? Like it's such an intimate thing

869
00:43:30,000 --> 00:43:33,200
Speaker 1: to talk about, like like like playing never have I ever?

870
00:43:33,239 --> 00:43:37,120
Speaker 1: And all five fingers up, but everybody else would never

871
00:43:37,280 --> 00:43:40,480
Speaker 1: have I ever? Maybe suggested as a game. My heart

872
00:43:40,480 --> 00:43:42,239
Speaker 1: would drop. I'd be like, I'm out, I hate never

873
00:43:42,280 --> 00:43:46,080
Speaker 1: ever ever know, it's so lame. So I yeah, I

874
00:43:46,160 --> 00:43:49,960
Speaker 1: definitely started to feel very alone then, and I always

875
00:43:50,040 --> 00:43:53,719
Speaker 1: kind of kept that part of me as something that

876
00:43:53,840 --> 00:43:57,680
Speaker 1: just my best friends would know. Um, And then on

877
00:43:57,719 --> 00:44:00,880
Speaker 1: the show, I was open about it in my audition process,

878
00:44:00,880 --> 00:44:04,040
Speaker 1: which of course led me to being you know, encouraged

879
00:44:04,040 --> 00:44:07,360
Speaker 1: to talk about it on the show. And on the

880
00:44:07,400 --> 00:44:12,000
Speaker 1: show again, I felt very scared and alone, and I

881
00:44:12,040 --> 00:44:14,200
Speaker 1: felt like it was such a turn off, and I

882
00:44:14,239 --> 00:44:16,719
Speaker 1: was like, no, but I'm so, I'm so weird for

883
00:44:16,760 --> 00:44:20,120
Speaker 1: being a twenty six year old virgin. But then it's

884
00:44:20,160 --> 00:44:23,920
Speaker 1: weird that it's weird, it's a coincidental, it's it's ironic

885
00:44:24,040 --> 00:44:26,840
Speaker 1: that Becca is gonna be up next. Because Becca actually

886
00:44:27,000 --> 00:44:28,920
Speaker 1: was one of the first people who made me felt

887
00:44:29,080 --> 00:44:32,480
Speaker 1: very much not alone. We were sitting around, She's like,

888
00:44:32,480 --> 00:44:34,000
Speaker 1: why are you so upset? I'm like, I just told

889
00:44:34,040 --> 00:44:37,160
Speaker 1: everybody that I'm a virgin, and she's like me too,

890
00:44:37,880 --> 00:44:42,520
Speaker 1: like no way, no way, And that was kind of

891
00:44:42,600 --> 00:44:45,200
Speaker 1: the beginning of me being like, oh, like I could.

892
00:44:45,200 --> 00:44:48,280
Speaker 1: I did embrace it as a decision, but I didn't

893
00:44:48,280 --> 00:44:51,040
Speaker 1: necessarily embrace it as like something to talk to people

894
00:44:51,080 --> 00:44:55,840
Speaker 1: about so Um. Then as soon as everybody knew because

895
00:44:55,840 --> 00:44:59,720
Speaker 1: of the show, I actually felt very much less alone

896
00:45:00,000 --> 00:45:02,279
Speaker 1: because so many people will come up to me and

897
00:45:02,320 --> 00:45:04,760
Speaker 1: talk about how they related to me in that and said,

898
00:45:04,840 --> 00:45:07,319
Speaker 1: thank you for providing me somebody on TV that I

899
00:45:07,360 --> 00:45:11,560
Speaker 1: can look up. Oh hey, I'm not alone in this area. Yeah,

900
00:45:12,120 --> 00:45:14,120
Speaker 1: it's interesting. How Sorry I cut out for a second,

901
00:45:14,120 --> 00:45:15,920
Speaker 1: but I'm back and I should be good now. I

902
00:45:15,960 --> 00:45:19,160
Speaker 1: test everything. Um, I caught everything you're saying. He's cann't

903
00:45:19,160 --> 00:45:21,360
Speaker 1: see me. It's interesting how some of our most like

904
00:45:21,960 --> 00:45:25,440
Speaker 1: vulnerable moments connect us to most with others. Uh. And

905
00:45:25,480 --> 00:45:27,799
Speaker 1: I think that is something to learn too, is just

906
00:45:27,880 --> 00:45:30,600
Speaker 1: to recognize that is the moments that like make us

907
00:45:30,680 --> 00:45:33,799
Speaker 1: feel most disconnected and make us feel the most pain

908
00:45:33,960 --> 00:45:36,560
Speaker 1: actually connect us to others because, as we said at

909
00:45:36,600 --> 00:45:40,160
Speaker 1: the beginning, every most people, if not everybody, and I'm

910
00:45:40,160 --> 00:45:43,759
Speaker 1: gonna say everybody has felt some sort of pain. And

911
00:45:43,880 --> 00:45:45,799
Speaker 1: uh and when you hear somebody's story, it's really hard

912
00:45:45,840 --> 00:45:48,840
Speaker 1: not to like him. It's really hard, uh not to

913
00:45:48,880 --> 00:45:51,080
Speaker 1: want to get to know more about them and uh

914
00:45:51,120 --> 00:45:52,640
Speaker 1: and I think that's just a good lesson for us

915
00:45:52,640 --> 00:45:55,359
Speaker 1: all to know. Um Blake, Thanks for talking that. Now.

916
00:45:55,400 --> 00:45:57,520
Speaker 1: I know we have a minute or two here left

917
00:45:57,560 --> 00:46:00,759
Speaker 1: with you. Um, what are you to these days? What

918
00:46:00,840 --> 00:46:02,799
Speaker 1: can people how can people go find you? How can

919
00:46:02,840 --> 00:46:06,480
Speaker 1: they celebrate you? What? What's going on in Blake's life? Yeah, yeah,

920
00:46:06,880 --> 00:46:08,239
Speaker 1: I'll get into that. I do want to touch bas

921
00:46:08,239 --> 00:46:09,680
Speaker 1: because I don't think I ever I've talked about it

922
00:46:09,680 --> 00:46:11,600
Speaker 1: maybe once been when we were on that mental health

923
00:46:11,840 --> 00:46:13,560
Speaker 1: UM kind of panel that we were on, but I

924
00:46:13,560 --> 00:46:15,480
Speaker 1: remember kind of what going off what you just said.

925
00:46:15,480 --> 00:46:17,200
Speaker 1: I remember, Ben, you said something to me that is

926
00:46:17,239 --> 00:46:19,719
Speaker 1: still stuck with me two years ago. I was two

927
00:46:19,760 --> 00:46:21,640
Speaker 1: years ago, right through going through paradise, but you said,

928
00:46:22,040 --> 00:46:24,480
Speaker 1: you know, coming off the Bachelotte, you weren't that relatable

929
00:46:24,719 --> 00:46:26,920
Speaker 1: because you have this like quote unquote golden image. But

930
00:46:26,960 --> 00:46:28,919
Speaker 1: He's like, right now and what you're going through, you'll

931
00:46:28,960 --> 00:46:31,160
Speaker 1: never be more relatable than you are right now. And

932
00:46:31,200 --> 00:46:32,839
Speaker 1: that's stuck with me because I was like, you're right,

933
00:46:32,880 --> 00:46:34,759
Speaker 1: like you just said, everybody's been through pain, everybody's hit

934
00:46:34,840 --> 00:46:37,600
Speaker 1: rock bottom, and everybody's bottom might be different, but everybody's

935
00:46:37,640 --> 00:46:40,960
Speaker 1: hit a rock bottom, and you know people can relate

936
00:46:41,000 --> 00:46:42,719
Speaker 1: to that. So I just thank you for saying that,

937
00:46:42,719 --> 00:46:44,239
Speaker 1: because that's stuck with me over the last two years

938
00:46:44,239 --> 00:46:46,560
Speaker 1: and everything. So um, that mental lot because I was like,

939
00:46:46,600 --> 00:46:47,480
Speaker 1: you know what, you're right, and that was like a

940
00:46:47,480 --> 00:46:48,919
Speaker 1: one where I was like, Okay, I'm gonna talk about

941
00:46:48,920 --> 00:46:51,080
Speaker 1: my experience. I'm gonna try and relate to people and

942
00:46:51,120 --> 00:46:54,440
Speaker 1: hopefully help others along the way. So um yeah. And

943
00:46:54,480 --> 00:46:56,319
Speaker 1: then as far as like where you can find everything, yeah,

944
00:46:56,360 --> 00:46:57,840
Speaker 1: I uh, you know, I've been I've been up. I

945
00:46:57,880 --> 00:47:01,399
Speaker 1: got a podcast now, Behind the Rose podcast this week. Yeah. Yeah,

946
00:47:01,520 --> 00:47:04,839
Speaker 1: Ashley was our guest on our Bachelor recap that went great,

947
00:47:05,320 --> 00:47:07,160
Speaker 1: and um yeah, we do some baschl recaps on Monday,

948
00:47:07,200 --> 00:47:09,000
Speaker 1: and then we got a lot of um, some reality

949
00:47:09,000 --> 00:47:11,239
Speaker 1: stars come on talk about their experience on the show.

950
00:47:11,320 --> 00:47:13,600
Speaker 1: We're very mental health focused. Um. We have musicians, a

951
00:47:13,600 --> 00:47:16,400
Speaker 1: lot of country musicians come on and discuss life on

952
00:47:16,440 --> 00:47:18,640
Speaker 1: the road, their story, how they did with mental health

953
00:47:18,680 --> 00:47:20,400
Speaker 1: and you know, the stresses that come with living in

954
00:47:20,400 --> 00:47:23,000
Speaker 1: the public eye and that kind of thing. Um. So yeah,

955
00:47:23,000 --> 00:47:24,520
Speaker 1: that's that's kind of what I'm going through right now.

956
00:47:24,520 --> 00:47:27,239
Speaker 1: I'm passionate about and um, still here in Denver, and

957
00:47:27,480 --> 00:47:30,000
Speaker 1: yeah that's about it. So you find me at black

958
00:47:30,239 --> 00:47:33,200
Speaker 1: on Instagram and go listen to Behind the Rose Podcast. Yeah,

959
00:47:33,280 --> 00:47:36,000
Speaker 1: I know we're hoping soon you're gonna be able to

960
00:47:36,000 --> 00:47:40,520
Speaker 1: get back out there, uh, DJ world Keeping traveling the US. Uh,

961
00:47:40,719 --> 00:47:42,560
Speaker 1: people can find you there, but until then they can

962
00:47:42,560 --> 00:47:44,920
Speaker 1: listen to you again on Behind the Road Rose podcast.

963
00:47:45,000 --> 00:47:47,160
Speaker 1: Ashley was a guest. I've done it. Um, you can

964
00:47:47,160 --> 00:47:48,560
Speaker 1: go back, I don't know a couple of weeks and

965
00:47:48,600 --> 00:47:51,040
Speaker 1: find that one. Blake, Thanks for coming on nine. Thanks

966
00:47:51,080 --> 00:47:56,439
Speaker 1: for appreciate everything with us, Thanks for celebrating. Yeah, congrats Ben,

967
00:47:56,680 --> 00:48:00,200
Speaker 1: guys up next, Uh, Ashley, we do have a really

968
00:48:00,200 --> 00:48:03,439
Speaker 1: special guests and when we both love UH with our

969
00:48:03,480 --> 00:48:06,600
Speaker 1: full hearts. She's one of the kindest, sweetest people I've

970
00:48:06,600 --> 00:48:09,719
Speaker 1: ever met in my life. You and her are one

971
00:48:09,719 --> 00:48:11,799
Speaker 1: of just I think four people from the Bachelor world

972
00:48:11,800 --> 00:48:15,640
Speaker 1: that I asked to write a endorsement on the book.

973
00:48:16,520 --> 00:48:23,120
Speaker 1: Becca is here right now, beca till everybody. We're just

974
00:48:23,160 --> 00:48:26,040
Speaker 1: talking about moments like you know, when we for LAWI

975
00:48:26,120 --> 00:48:29,800
Speaker 1: both felt alone in life and I was saying that

976
00:48:30,080 --> 00:48:33,600
Speaker 1: you do you remember during that Rose Ceremony cocktail hour,

977
00:48:34,400 --> 00:48:37,000
Speaker 1: you when I was crying because I was open about

978
00:48:37,000 --> 00:48:39,960
Speaker 1: being a virgin, and then you got me too, and

979
00:48:40,000 --> 00:48:42,120
Speaker 1: I was, Oh my god, that's like when my whole

980
00:48:42,200 --> 00:48:48,359
Speaker 1: I like saw shining stars like somebody else. I know

981
00:48:48,360 --> 00:48:52,040
Speaker 1: that she's like the full package. That moment lives on

982
00:48:52,560 --> 00:48:55,839
Speaker 1: with me, because I remember I hadn't talked about being

983
00:48:55,840 --> 00:48:57,680
Speaker 1: a like. I was like, I'm not I don't want

984
00:48:57,680 --> 00:48:59,600
Speaker 1: that to be like my storylines. I'm not even gonna

985
00:48:59,600 --> 00:49:02,520
Speaker 1: bring it up during pasting. And then I was just like,

986
00:49:02,560 --> 00:49:04,080
Speaker 1: you were crying. And then when you shared it with me,

987
00:49:04,160 --> 00:49:06,080
Speaker 1: my first reaction was like only two. And then I

988
00:49:06,160 --> 00:49:09,120
Speaker 1: was like, oh, I didn't know I have a Michael

989
00:49:09,160 --> 00:49:13,920
Speaker 1: and there's like seven cameras on me, like great afterward,

990
00:49:14,400 --> 00:49:16,480
Speaker 1: Oh my gosh, she was she was relating to me,

991
00:49:16,600 --> 00:49:21,000
Speaker 1: and now she stepped in it. Yeah, like the Battle

992
00:49:21,040 --> 00:49:25,120
Speaker 1: of the Virgins. After that, please please tell me that

993
00:49:25,600 --> 00:49:27,800
Speaker 1: this is one of those scenarios where like Actuley's crying,

994
00:49:28,080 --> 00:49:31,239
Speaker 1: there's maybe like one camera falling or um, and then

995
00:49:31,239 --> 00:49:33,680
Speaker 1: all of a sudden, you say that and every camera

996
00:49:34,080 --> 00:49:36,840
Speaker 1: camera just swirls as fast as possible right up on you.

997
00:49:36,920 --> 00:49:42,440
Speaker 1: Is that what happened? Immediately there was someone goes Secca interview,

998
00:49:42,520 --> 00:49:46,360
Speaker 1: I t M and I was like, oh man, And

999
00:49:46,360 --> 00:49:48,160
Speaker 1: then and then I was standing there and she's like,

1000
00:49:48,160 --> 00:49:52,120
Speaker 1: so just say I'm a virgin and that that line

1001
00:49:52,920 --> 00:49:57,480
Speaker 1: came on. It was used multiple times throughout the seats,

1002
00:49:59,760 --> 00:50:04,520
Speaker 1: isn't I'm interesting? Well, uh, Becca, I'm really thankful you

1003
00:50:04,600 --> 00:50:08,240
Speaker 1: joined us. I've said it and I mean it. Um.

1004
00:50:08,320 --> 00:50:11,319
Speaker 1: There are a few people from this bachelor world who

1005
00:50:11,320 --> 00:50:16,080
Speaker 1: has impacted me, uh greatly. You are definitely one of them.

1006
00:50:16,120 --> 00:50:17,799
Speaker 1: Actually knows she is one of them, but you are

1007
00:50:18,600 --> 00:50:21,640
Speaker 1: one of those people. You've been so kind, uh to

1008
00:50:21,760 --> 00:50:24,279
Speaker 1: my now fiance Jessica. You've been so kind to me.

1009
00:50:24,680 --> 00:50:30,800
Speaker 1: We've had really great conversations around faith and politics and life.

1010
00:50:31,760 --> 00:50:35,240
Speaker 1: I'm asking every guest that comes on one question actually

1011
00:50:35,239 --> 00:50:38,080
Speaker 1: has to answer it as well. Um. And I've asked

1012
00:50:38,120 --> 00:50:41,200
Speaker 1: this question to actually already before, but I really want

1013
00:50:41,239 --> 00:50:43,279
Speaker 1: to hear from you. There's a chapter in the book,

1014
00:50:43,280 --> 00:50:45,440
Speaker 1: and you've read the book, but it talks about connecting

1015
00:50:45,440 --> 00:50:49,200
Speaker 1: with self and eliminating labels, expectations, all the shame, all

1016
00:50:49,239 --> 00:50:51,080
Speaker 1: the guilt, all the things have been placed us on

1017
00:50:51,200 --> 00:50:53,640
Speaker 1: us by this world, leaving us to ask the question

1018
00:50:53,680 --> 00:50:56,160
Speaker 1: like who are we if everything else goes away? And

1019
00:50:56,200 --> 00:50:58,160
Speaker 1: I'm gonna ask you that question, Becca, because there's a

1020
00:50:58,239 --> 00:51:00,440
Speaker 1: lot to you and a lot of beauty to you.

1021
00:51:01,120 --> 00:51:04,280
Speaker 1: Who are you Becket Tilly if all of those things

1022
00:51:04,280 --> 00:51:10,319
Speaker 1: get wiped away? Oh? Um? I mean to be just

1023
00:51:10,600 --> 00:51:14,200
Speaker 1: truly honest, I'm in the process of figuring that out.

1024
00:51:14,239 --> 00:51:16,840
Speaker 1: Like I think this year, more than ever, I have

1025
00:51:17,719 --> 00:51:22,040
Speaker 1: actually really made an effort to figure out the answer

1026
00:51:22,080 --> 00:51:25,399
Speaker 1: to that question, because I think I've spent a lot

1027
00:51:25,480 --> 00:51:28,839
Speaker 1: of my life like living for the expectations of other

1028
00:51:28,920 --> 00:51:32,719
Speaker 1: people and um, and especially being on a such a

1029
00:51:32,800 --> 00:51:35,480
Speaker 1: huge show and having a platform, and people have these

1030
00:51:35,520 --> 00:51:38,960
Speaker 1: like very specific expectations of what lane they want you

1031
00:51:39,040 --> 00:51:41,120
Speaker 1: in and what they want you to say and how

1032
00:51:41,120 --> 00:51:45,879
Speaker 1: they want you to approach things. And I finally this

1033
00:51:45,960 --> 00:51:48,000
Speaker 1: year like started going to therapy because I was like,

1034
00:51:48,200 --> 00:51:52,000
Speaker 1: I can't, I have to. I need someone to kind

1035
00:51:52,000 --> 00:51:54,239
Speaker 1: of help me get there, because I think my whole

1036
00:51:54,239 --> 00:51:58,080
Speaker 1: life has been this um pleasing other people, and I

1037
00:51:58,120 --> 00:52:00,719
Speaker 1: almost didn't even know how to up doing that on

1038
00:52:00,800 --> 00:52:03,839
Speaker 1: my own because I didn't even realize I was doing it. Um.

1039
00:52:04,239 --> 00:52:06,240
Speaker 1: So I don't even know if that's a good answer

1040
00:52:06,239 --> 00:52:08,279
Speaker 1: to your question, but that is kind of I'm like,

1041
00:52:08,480 --> 00:52:12,719
Speaker 1: that whole question has been my journey this last year.

1042
00:52:13,719 --> 00:52:17,240
Speaker 1: It's it's a great answer one because it's true. Um,

1043
00:52:17,239 --> 00:52:19,319
Speaker 1: So there's not like a right answer to that. I

1044
00:52:19,360 --> 00:52:23,080
Speaker 1: think for me, it's nice to hear that. And it's

1045
00:52:23,120 --> 00:52:24,839
Speaker 1: interesting because the more and more I asked that question

1046
00:52:24,840 --> 00:52:26,879
Speaker 1: to people as I wrote the book, and as as

1047
00:52:26,880 --> 00:52:29,600
Speaker 1: people aren't there watching, most people are in that place.

1048
00:52:29,640 --> 00:52:31,759
Speaker 1: I'm in that place where it's a constant journey. It's

1049
00:52:31,760 --> 00:52:35,239
Speaker 1: a constant um asking of that question. Who am I?

1050
00:52:35,280 --> 00:52:37,040
Speaker 1: Who am I today? Who am I in this moment?

1051
00:52:37,040 --> 00:52:39,560
Speaker 1: Who am I in this response to this thing? This

1052
00:52:39,600 --> 00:52:42,279
Speaker 1: thing is making me feel angry? You're confused? Why like,

1053
00:52:42,320 --> 00:52:45,000
Speaker 1: who am I in this in this time, in this event?

1054
00:52:45,120 --> 00:52:48,440
Speaker 1: And and I think that's I think that might be

1055
00:52:48,520 --> 00:52:50,799
Speaker 1: the answer. And I the reason I asked this, and

1056
00:52:50,800 --> 00:52:52,719
Speaker 1: the reason I say that is because I'm sure there's

1057
00:52:52,719 --> 00:52:56,200
Speaker 1: people out there who have seen both of you on

1058
00:52:56,239 --> 00:53:01,080
Speaker 1: social media and said, wow, uh, those were are beautiful.

1059
00:53:01,320 --> 00:53:03,560
Speaker 1: They have it all together, They've got it figured out,

1060
00:53:03,680 --> 00:53:06,799
Speaker 1: they're doing their thing. Life seems to be easy, like

1061
00:53:06,880 --> 00:53:09,000
Speaker 1: they've got it, and they go, I just wish I

1062
00:53:09,040 --> 00:53:11,600
Speaker 1: could I could be like them. I just wish I

1063
00:53:11,600 --> 00:53:14,120
Speaker 1: could have it all figured out. Both of your responses.

1064
00:53:14,160 --> 00:53:15,799
Speaker 1: So actually I've already asked you the question of who

1065
00:53:15,840 --> 00:53:17,120
Speaker 1: are you and you can answer it if you'd like

1066
00:53:17,280 --> 00:53:19,520
Speaker 1: right now. Um, but I want to ask you that

1067
00:53:19,600 --> 00:53:21,880
Speaker 1: question is like when people assume that or think that

1068
00:53:21,920 --> 00:53:26,359
Speaker 1: about you, what would be your response to the mean

1069
00:53:27,719 --> 00:53:31,239
Speaker 1: you definitely only see one side, if if even a

1070
00:53:31,400 --> 00:53:34,720
Speaker 1: side of a person watching them on TV. You're seeing

1071
00:53:34,760 --> 00:53:40,120
Speaker 1: like the smallest little bit and um, you know you

1072
00:53:40,239 --> 00:53:44,399
Speaker 1: often see like either like the funniest side, uh, like

1073
00:53:44,600 --> 00:53:47,160
Speaker 1: the most put together side you could, in my situation

1074
00:53:47,239 --> 00:53:51,960
Speaker 1: see like the most like uh emotional side. They're definitely

1075
00:53:51,960 --> 00:53:55,480
Speaker 1: not seeing all of their struggles and you're not seeing

1076
00:53:55,520 --> 00:53:59,600
Speaker 1: like you're not always seeing their insecurities and stuff like.

1077
00:53:59,640 --> 00:54:01,879
Speaker 1: There's plenty of life beyond what they see on TV.

1078
00:54:02,000 --> 00:54:04,719
Speaker 1: And I think that everybody or any screen actually for

1079
00:54:04,760 --> 00:54:07,840
Speaker 1: that matter, So um, you just have to take that

1080
00:54:07,920 --> 00:54:12,040
Speaker 1: in consideration every time you're feeling envious of somebody's life

1081
00:54:12,040 --> 00:54:19,440
Speaker 1: through a screen. Mhm, that's true, It's very true. I

1082
00:54:19,560 --> 00:54:23,719
Speaker 1: just I I think it's it's so almost comical for

1083
00:54:23,760 --> 00:54:26,520
Speaker 1: people to think that, like all of us have it

1084
00:54:26,520 --> 00:54:30,759
Speaker 1: all together, you know, like the I consider y'all some

1085
00:54:30,840 --> 00:54:33,719
Speaker 1: of my closest friends from the show and some of

1086
00:54:33,719 --> 00:54:36,959
Speaker 1: our conversations we've had, and um, I would say both

1087
00:54:36,960 --> 00:54:40,120
Speaker 1: of you are do a very good job of being vulnerable.

1088
00:54:40,120 --> 00:54:42,200
Speaker 1: I don't think you put on this like facade that

1089
00:54:42,239 --> 00:54:45,680
Speaker 1: everything is perfect on social media. But it is funny

1090
00:54:45,880 --> 00:54:49,439
Speaker 1: that to think that people have that idea that there's

1091
00:54:49,480 --> 00:54:53,239
Speaker 1: no insecurities, there's no struggles, it's all together, there's no anxiety,

1092
00:54:53,360 --> 00:54:57,080
Speaker 1: it's all just easy going all the time, which for

1093
00:54:57,120 --> 00:55:00,960
Speaker 1: me is not the case. It hasn't been the face

1094
00:55:01,040 --> 00:55:05,120
Speaker 1: at all. It's uh yeah, I even tonight, you know,

1095
00:55:05,320 --> 00:55:07,319
Speaker 1: I'm sitting here and I was getting ready to do

1096
00:55:07,360 --> 00:55:11,239
Speaker 1: this and Jessica was getting ready to head out. She's like,

1097
00:55:11,239 --> 00:55:12,480
Speaker 1: how you doing it? And I was like, I don't know.

1098
00:55:12,520 --> 00:55:14,480
Speaker 1: I have my my stomachs and nots. I have a

1099
00:55:14,560 --> 00:55:17,680
Speaker 1: very anxious stomach. I don't know right now, I don't

1100
00:55:17,680 --> 00:55:19,520
Speaker 1: know how I feel, how I think. I just I'm

1101
00:55:19,600 --> 00:55:24,200
Speaker 1: I'm trying my best time, and uh that's it's weird

1102
00:55:24,239 --> 00:55:26,160
Speaker 1: because I was. I was also getting ready to first

1103
00:55:26,239 --> 00:55:28,439
Speaker 1: for the first time take time. I had a market

1104
00:55:28,440 --> 00:55:30,440
Speaker 1: account of just celebrate this book because it's been a

1105
00:55:30,440 --> 00:55:31,920
Speaker 1: lot of interviews and it's been a lot of talking,

1106
00:55:32,320 --> 00:55:35,720
Speaker 1: and it's been a lot of questions about my ex relationships,

1107
00:55:35,760 --> 00:55:38,080
Speaker 1: and it's been a lot of questions about how I

1108
00:55:38,160 --> 00:55:40,279
Speaker 1: writ in the book about my struggle with addiction, and

1109
00:55:40,320 --> 00:55:42,200
Speaker 1: it's those things are like how many times can I

1110
00:55:42,200 --> 00:55:43,960
Speaker 1: talk about those things in the course of the day

1111
00:55:43,960 --> 00:55:46,400
Speaker 1: before I kind of become known to them like before,

1112
00:55:46,440 --> 00:55:49,680
Speaker 1: they no longer like before. I'm just a fraud again,

1113
00:55:49,760 --> 00:55:52,160
Speaker 1: and I'm I'm right, I am the thing I write

1114
00:55:52,160 --> 00:55:53,319
Speaker 1: about in the book that I don't want to be

1115
00:55:53,360 --> 00:55:58,000
Speaker 1: the most Um. Yeah, I mean, I mean you're you're

1116
00:55:58,560 --> 00:56:00,400
Speaker 1: at a certain point and I know you both have

1117
00:56:00,480 --> 00:56:03,200
Speaker 1: experienced this, but you have your truth. You have the

1118
00:56:03,239 --> 00:56:05,520
Speaker 1: answer to the questions they have. You can when you're

1119
00:56:05,520 --> 00:56:09,080
Speaker 1: being asked the same question over and over again, you're

1120
00:56:09,120 --> 00:56:11,440
Speaker 1: only able to tell your truth. And by the time

1121
00:56:11,600 --> 00:56:13,799
Speaker 1: the end of the day comes, you've repeated your truth

1122
00:56:13,920 --> 00:56:16,359
Speaker 1: so many times that you feel like it's not even

1123
00:56:16,360 --> 00:56:19,400
Speaker 1: your truth anymore, because it just became like autopilots. So,

1124
00:56:20,680 --> 00:56:24,800
Speaker 1: but Ben, I know that you had sometimes while writing

1125
00:56:24,800 --> 00:56:26,839
Speaker 1: this book where you would like get into a deep

1126
00:56:26,920 --> 00:56:29,520
Speaker 1: dark hole. It's because like you kept going back to

1127
00:56:29,600 --> 00:56:33,080
Speaker 1: your past and thinking so much about it. But you're

1128
00:56:33,840 --> 00:56:36,279
Speaker 1: just know that like you are not alone in those

1129
00:56:36,320 --> 00:56:39,120
Speaker 1: moments like that happens to everyone. Even it's like long

1130
00:56:39,280 --> 00:56:42,279
Speaker 1: drives in the car by yourself and you and you're like,

1131
00:56:42,560 --> 00:56:44,720
Speaker 1: oh my god, that memory to lead to that memory,

1132
00:56:44,840 --> 00:56:47,160
Speaker 1: leads to that memory. Um. When I do want to

1133
00:56:47,200 --> 00:56:50,400
Speaker 1: wrap up this interview with with Becca in an a

1134
00:56:50,480 --> 00:56:53,680
Speaker 1: little fun light because we both met you were on

1135
00:56:53,760 --> 00:56:59,600
Speaker 1: the same time, and we both definitely felt the very

1136
00:56:59,680 --> 00:57:03,600
Speaker 1: similar are ways about like the endearingness and just like

1137
00:57:03,760 --> 00:57:07,640
Speaker 1: the the special intention that you get from Ben when

1138
00:57:07,640 --> 00:57:11,120
Speaker 1: you first meet up. How Um, what was your favorite

1139
00:57:11,120 --> 00:57:14,480
Speaker 1: first first issue memory of Ben? Like? What made what

1140
00:57:14,640 --> 00:57:22,520
Speaker 1: was like a great first memory? Um? I would probably say, no, no,

1141
00:57:23,040 --> 00:57:25,960
Speaker 1: we all life. That's the thing. It's like, which beautiful

1142
00:57:26,000 --> 00:57:30,120
Speaker 1: memory do you share? Uh? You know, my one of

1143
00:57:30,120 --> 00:57:34,480
Speaker 1: my favorite memories is actually probably at your wedding. And

1144
00:57:34,520 --> 00:57:36,360
Speaker 1: I had so many before then when I was on

1145
00:57:36,440 --> 00:57:40,800
Speaker 1: your came on to your season because I just I

1146
00:57:40,800 --> 00:57:43,080
Speaker 1: I just thought you were so great and um, but

1147
00:57:43,200 --> 00:57:46,920
Speaker 1: when we were at your wedding, ash, Um, there was

1148
00:57:47,000 --> 00:57:50,000
Speaker 1: just this it felt like Ben and Jazz, like I

1149
00:57:50,160 --> 00:57:53,040
Speaker 1: just met Jess and it just felt like my friends,

1150
00:57:53,040 --> 00:57:55,280
Speaker 1: and I was able to share some things that I

1151
00:57:55,320 --> 00:57:58,920
Speaker 1: hadn't shared with a lot of people from the Bachelor

1152
00:57:58,960 --> 00:58:01,240
Speaker 1: world at that time in my friend groups there, and

1153
00:58:01,640 --> 00:58:06,760
Speaker 1: he just he's just everything that everyone thinks he is.

1154
00:58:06,840 --> 00:58:10,720
Speaker 1: He really is the I have a good beck of

1155
00:58:10,800 --> 00:58:14,480
Speaker 1: memory in fact, that Becka came onto the season and

1156
00:58:14,480 --> 00:58:19,160
Speaker 1: in Worse Ondiana. Um, I said goodbye to Becca and

1157
00:58:19,280 --> 00:58:22,840
Speaker 1: it was not easy, uh, And I sat down on

1158
00:58:22,840 --> 00:58:24,760
Speaker 1: a park bench with her. I thought the park bench

1159
00:58:24,800 --> 00:58:27,080
Speaker 1: is still there, and she got She just glares at

1160
00:58:27,080 --> 00:58:30,240
Speaker 1: me and I was like, oh no, like because like

1161
00:58:30,320 --> 00:58:32,080
Speaker 1: I had this like just deep and I knew like

1162
00:58:32,120 --> 00:58:34,040
Speaker 1: after the show she would I wanted her to be

1163
00:58:34,080 --> 00:58:35,480
Speaker 1: one of the first people I reached out to be like,

1164
00:58:35,560 --> 00:58:38,240
Speaker 1: because like we can still be friends, like I love you,

1165
00:58:38,320 --> 00:58:40,880
Speaker 1: like I care about you, like and she just looked

1166
00:58:40,960 --> 00:58:42,560
Speaker 1: right through me, and I was like, I'm done, Like

1167
00:58:42,600 --> 00:58:46,120
Speaker 1: this is over. You told me you want to do this.

1168
00:58:47,400 --> 00:58:49,000
Speaker 1: He told me to do this, and I was like,

1169
00:58:49,800 --> 00:58:54,160
Speaker 1: I like, hey, Becca, thank you for coming on, thank

1170
00:58:54,200 --> 00:58:59,640
Speaker 1: you for writing announcement again, um scrubbing in podcast with

1171
00:58:59,760 --> 00:59:02,800
Speaker 1: that antonia something was to something to pick up, um,

1172
00:59:02,880 --> 00:59:05,400
Speaker 1: something to put in your ears anytime you can, Becka,

1173
00:59:05,440 --> 00:59:08,880
Speaker 1: tell you everybody, thank you, congratulations. But I love you guys,

1174
00:59:09,240 --> 00:59:12,240
Speaker 1: love you Ben. Before we go to a Q and

1175
00:59:12,280 --> 00:59:15,840
Speaker 1: A with some of the watchers. Right now, I just

1176
00:59:15,880 --> 00:59:19,520
Speaker 1: want to share my my first memory of you. And

1177
00:59:19,560 --> 00:59:21,800
Speaker 1: I know I've done this on the podcast before, but

1178
00:59:21,880 --> 00:59:25,000
Speaker 1: like we were in my hotel room with a whole

1179
00:59:25,040 --> 00:59:28,640
Speaker 1: bunch of other people after mental all and I just

1180
00:59:28,760 --> 00:59:33,240
Speaker 1: remember literally being mind blown by how good of a

1181
00:59:33,280 --> 00:59:36,040
Speaker 1: listener and like how engaged you were in conversation with

1182
00:59:36,080 --> 00:59:38,840
Speaker 1: people for the first time. Like, even though there was

1183
00:59:38,920 --> 00:59:40,960
Speaker 1: chaos or maybe not like chaos, but a lot of

1184
00:59:40,960 --> 00:59:43,400
Speaker 1: things going on, it was a very exciting night. Like

1185
00:59:43,640 --> 00:59:47,560
Speaker 1: when you're talking to someone, you give them your time

1186
00:59:48,200 --> 00:59:51,200
Speaker 1: and all your energy and all all your brain and

1187
00:59:51,240 --> 00:59:54,760
Speaker 1: it's really really something. It's really nice, and it makes

1188
00:59:55,000 --> 00:59:59,400
Speaker 1: everybody feels so special. And let's that's just me Like

1189
00:59:59,800 --> 01:00:03,240
Speaker 1: you didn't when like my parents and stuff, when you're

1190
01:00:03,280 --> 01:00:05,800
Speaker 1: at our wedding, like everybody who's meeting you for the

1191
01:00:05,800 --> 01:00:09,440
Speaker 1: first time feels the same line. Not so sweet. See Ash,

1192
01:00:09,720 --> 01:00:11,640
Speaker 1: you know, we've done this thing together now for four years.

1193
01:00:11,640 --> 01:00:14,840
Speaker 1: So we met on that night. We've been doing this

1194
01:00:15,000 --> 01:00:18,680
Speaker 1: weekly for four years together. Um, yes, we can celebrate

1195
01:00:18,680 --> 01:00:20,400
Speaker 1: the book and I would love to, but we also

1196
01:00:20,400 --> 01:00:23,000
Speaker 1: got to celebrate that tonight. That is always something to

1197
01:00:23,040 --> 01:00:27,200
Speaker 1: remember and something that we Uh you are. You are

1198
01:00:27,920 --> 01:00:35,120
Speaker 1: my longest standing relationship today. Um, yeah, it's a partnership.

1199
01:00:35,840 --> 01:00:39,280
Speaker 1: But I do think that you're listening skills and the

1200
01:00:39,320 --> 01:00:42,880
Speaker 1: fact that you just zone in on people's stories helps

1201
01:00:43,440 --> 01:00:46,840
Speaker 1: so much in the creation of this book because I mean, like,

1202
01:00:46,920 --> 01:00:51,040
Speaker 1: you care like no one else. It's all right, So

1203
01:00:51,080 --> 01:00:54,000
Speaker 1: she'll shall we move into some questions? We should Yeah,

1204
01:00:54,040 --> 01:00:59,520
Speaker 1: we should definitely do that. Um. How's the house hunting going, Ashley?

1205
01:00:59,560 --> 01:01:04,120
Speaker 1: This one's from Christie. Wow, what a different topic. Um.

1206
01:01:04,320 --> 01:01:07,120
Speaker 1: We have decided, well, basically, we're going to like move

1207
01:01:07,160 --> 01:01:09,440
Speaker 1: out of our apartment next month, which is so weird.

1208
01:01:09,720 --> 01:01:14,160
Speaker 1: We're gonna be like just prossiting around between his sister's

1209
01:01:14,160 --> 01:01:17,680
Speaker 1: house and my family's house until we can get like

1210
01:01:18,240 --> 01:01:21,640
Speaker 1: a good a rental that we like enough to stay

1211
01:01:21,640 --> 01:01:25,479
Speaker 1: in for like about six months and hopefully that would

1212
01:01:25,520 --> 01:01:28,360
Speaker 1: take us into the building of our own home in

1213
01:01:28,400 --> 01:01:30,680
Speaker 1: Rhode Island. So that's how the house cutting is going.

1214
01:01:30,760 --> 01:01:32,840
Speaker 1: We've kind of given up on house hunting and we've

1215
01:01:32,880 --> 01:01:34,800
Speaker 1: decided that we're going to go straight into building, even

1216
01:01:34,800 --> 01:01:36,920
Speaker 1: though that was something that we were planning on doing

1217
01:01:37,280 --> 01:01:40,400
Speaker 1: for a couple of years. We just feel like that's

1218
01:01:40,440 --> 01:01:43,360
Speaker 1: what both of our guts are pulling us tours. I

1219
01:01:43,360 --> 01:01:46,440
Speaker 1: didn't know this, that's big news. So what do you

1220
01:01:46,480 --> 01:01:48,320
Speaker 1: do with all your stuff? So you're packing it all up?

1221
01:01:48,600 --> 01:01:50,120
Speaker 1: Is it going to Rhode Island and you guys are

1222
01:01:50,120 --> 01:01:52,960
Speaker 1: just gonna couch surf? Yeah, it's going to Rhode Island.

1223
01:01:53,200 --> 01:01:55,600
Speaker 1: It's gonna seeing a storage unit for a while. And

1224
01:01:55,640 --> 01:02:00,680
Speaker 1: then so his sister's husband is away in the military.

1225
01:02:00,760 --> 01:02:03,880
Speaker 1: He's in ball Rain until November, so we have our

1226
01:02:03,920 --> 01:02:06,360
Speaker 1: own room there. And then we have plenty of space

1227
01:02:06,400 --> 01:02:09,000
Speaker 1: with my parents. So we're just gonna spend time with

1228
01:02:09,120 --> 01:02:12,600
Speaker 1: family until like May, and then we may look into

1229
01:02:12,640 --> 01:02:16,480
Speaker 1: getting a place in Rhode Island for six months to

1230
01:02:16,560 --> 01:02:19,520
Speaker 1: a year. And then you know, if l A calls

1231
01:02:19,640 --> 01:02:22,360
Speaker 1: back next year and everything is like up and running

1232
01:02:22,360 --> 01:02:24,120
Speaker 1: and we have to be here for work, we may

1233
01:02:24,160 --> 01:02:27,120
Speaker 1: get a small place like in the valley. Okay, two

1234
01:02:27,200 --> 01:02:29,680
Speaker 1: questions for you, just follow up answering as quickly you want.

1235
01:02:29,720 --> 01:02:31,120
Speaker 1: Are you ready to leave l A. I know this

1236
01:02:31,200 --> 01:02:34,440
Speaker 1: is hard for you. Um, I guess that's it. Are

1237
01:02:34,440 --> 01:02:36,800
Speaker 1: you ready to live in l A? And I guess,

1238
01:02:36,840 --> 01:02:39,560
Speaker 1: are you ready to go to Rhode Island? So yes

1239
01:02:39,680 --> 01:02:43,360
Speaker 1: and no. Like the fact of that we're leaving this

1240
01:02:43,480 --> 01:02:45,400
Speaker 1: apartment that I thought that we were going to stay

1241
01:02:45,440 --> 01:02:47,680
Speaker 1: in for a long at least like another two or

1242
01:02:47,720 --> 01:02:50,560
Speaker 1: three years makes me feel weird because like this was

1243
01:02:50,600 --> 01:02:52,520
Speaker 1: such a gem and when I found it, I was like,

1244
01:02:52,560 --> 01:02:55,240
Speaker 1: I'm never letting it go. The City of l A.

1245
01:02:55,360 --> 01:02:58,959
Speaker 1: I'm actually pretty cool with leaving right now. I think

1246
01:02:58,960 --> 01:03:00,400
Speaker 1: it has to do with an a each thing. It

1247
01:03:00,440 --> 01:03:02,760
Speaker 1: may have to do with a COVID thing, uh, but

1248
01:03:02,960 --> 01:03:04,720
Speaker 1: it just doesn't have the magic that it had for

1249
01:03:04,840 --> 01:03:07,560
Speaker 1: me at one point. It's so very glitterly when you

1250
01:03:07,600 --> 01:03:12,320
Speaker 1: move here, um, and everything is exciting. Um. A lot

1251
01:03:12,360 --> 01:03:14,480
Speaker 1: of it is very superficial, and a lot of it

1252
01:03:14,520 --> 01:03:17,120
Speaker 1: is very fun for single people. But like, once you

1253
01:03:17,240 --> 01:03:19,480
Speaker 1: like get to that I'm married, like we like to

1254
01:03:19,560 --> 01:03:22,800
Speaker 1: nest and like make dinner every night type situation, that

1255
01:03:22,880 --> 01:03:26,280
Speaker 1: doesn't have as much of an appeal. And then I'm

1256
01:03:26,280 --> 01:03:28,440
Speaker 1: definitely ready to move to Rhode Island because I love

1257
01:03:28,520 --> 01:03:31,640
Speaker 1: Rhode Island. That's that's gonna be fun. The winters maybe

1258
01:03:31,640 --> 01:03:36,080
Speaker 1: not so much. I'm looking into getting heated hardwood floors. Yeah,

1259
01:03:36,440 --> 01:03:38,640
Speaker 1: called Jessica. She can tell you all about cold weather

1260
01:03:38,800 --> 01:03:42,680
Speaker 1: right now. She has cold weather driving gloves, a parka,

1261
01:03:42,880 --> 01:03:44,800
Speaker 1: and a hat that she drives in her car with.

1262
01:03:44,920 --> 01:03:46,720
Speaker 1: So when you see her, she looks like a marshmallow

1263
01:03:47,080 --> 01:03:51,040
Speaker 1: driving down the road. It's it's actually very electric gloves. Yeah,

1264
01:03:51,080 --> 01:03:54,919
Speaker 1: she literally does. Okay, next question that we got today,

1265
01:03:54,920 --> 01:03:56,920
Speaker 1: and this was from Madeline. What I guess this is

1266
01:03:56,960 --> 01:04:01,600
Speaker 1: to me? What was your favorite part to write? My

1267
01:04:01,720 --> 01:04:05,919
Speaker 1: favorite part maybe the part I got the most out of. Okay,

1268
01:04:05,960 --> 01:04:07,840
Speaker 1: I'm gonna say my least favorite part because it turned

1269
01:04:07,840 --> 01:04:11,120
Speaker 1: in my favorite part now. I was on a tour

1270
01:04:11,200 --> 01:04:13,120
Speaker 1: bus for Bachelor Live on stage and I had to

1271
01:04:13,160 --> 01:04:14,400
Speaker 1: write the last section of the book and it was

1272
01:04:14,440 --> 01:04:17,120
Speaker 1: about my connection with God. And at that point in time,

1273
01:04:17,200 --> 01:04:20,480
Speaker 1: after hearing the stories in the book, like Annie's and

1274
01:04:20,480 --> 01:04:23,160
Speaker 1: there's many others that are written about, I had a

1275
01:04:23,160 --> 01:04:25,520
Speaker 1: lot of doubt, questions, and confusion and I was in

1276
01:04:25,520 --> 01:04:28,360
Speaker 1: a really heavy, dark place. I was actually uh, it

1277
01:04:28,480 --> 01:04:32,120
Speaker 1: was three am every morning, um for a month and

1278
01:04:32,160 --> 01:04:35,160
Speaker 1: a half. I was waking up in deep sweats, my

1279
01:04:35,240 --> 01:04:38,720
Speaker 1: heart was racing, and I was having like the scariest thoughts,

1280
01:04:38,800 --> 01:04:40,600
Speaker 1: like I couldn't get bad thoughts out of my head.

1281
01:04:41,000 --> 01:04:42,760
Speaker 1: And so that's what sent me into my second round

1282
01:04:42,800 --> 01:04:45,400
Speaker 1: of counseling because I was having I mean what they

1283
01:04:45,440 --> 01:04:47,360
Speaker 1: call now like a panic attack. But this wasn't just

1284
01:04:47,400 --> 01:04:50,240
Speaker 1: like an anxious attack which I had today, like where

1285
01:04:50,280 --> 01:04:54,200
Speaker 1: my body starts sweating and stuff. This was like attack

1286
01:04:54,240 --> 01:04:57,000
Speaker 1: in a panic attack yeah, definitely, Yeah, And so like

1287
01:04:57,040 --> 01:04:59,040
Speaker 1: these were like full on and it was because I

1288
01:04:59,080 --> 01:05:01,040
Speaker 1: don't I don't really know the reason yet I'm not

1289
01:05:01,120 --> 01:05:05,760
Speaker 1: having them right now. Um. But it was a really

1290
01:05:05,760 --> 01:05:08,160
Speaker 1: big growth season for me because I was digging into

1291
01:05:08,360 --> 01:05:10,800
Speaker 1: like why I say I believe in Jesus, Why I

1292
01:05:10,800 --> 01:05:12,920
Speaker 1: say believe in God in general? Like if I do

1293
01:05:13,000 --> 01:05:15,320
Speaker 1: believe in a God, what is that like? What then

1294
01:05:15,360 --> 01:05:17,480
Speaker 1: is my response? If I don't, what would that mean

1295
01:05:17,560 --> 01:05:20,080
Speaker 1: for me? And these are huge life questions and it

1296
01:05:20,160 --> 01:05:22,800
Speaker 1: helped me now filter through some of these things that

1297
01:05:22,880 --> 01:05:25,240
Speaker 1: like maybe I hadn't spent as as much time as

1298
01:05:25,760 --> 01:05:27,520
Speaker 1: I needed to. I see. The second part of that

1299
01:05:27,600 --> 01:05:30,080
Speaker 1: is listening to these stories of humans that are incredible,

1300
01:05:30,400 --> 01:05:32,920
Speaker 1: some of them are no longer with us, but incredible humans.

1301
01:05:32,960 --> 01:05:34,840
Speaker 1: That was actually a lot of fun for me because

1302
01:05:34,840 --> 01:05:37,320
Speaker 1: I got to grow through that. Um. And they spent

1303
01:05:37,400 --> 01:05:40,080
Speaker 1: their time with me. Um, like Annie, uh, spending it

1304
01:05:40,120 --> 01:05:42,760
Speaker 1: up until the last breath she took. So I don't

1305
01:05:42,760 --> 01:05:44,240
Speaker 1: I don't want to take those things for granted. That

1306
01:05:44,320 --> 01:05:46,720
Speaker 1: was that was I guess I enjoyable feels like a

1307
01:05:46,760 --> 01:05:48,640
Speaker 1: weird part word to use, but it was. It was

1308
01:05:48,840 --> 01:05:51,800
Speaker 1: helpful and I'll never forget it. Um. I think there's

1309
01:05:51,840 --> 01:05:55,600
Speaker 1: more question. Yeah, it's from Caitlin and it says what

1310
01:05:55,720 --> 01:05:59,000
Speaker 1: inspired either write this book? Like, was there pivotal moments

1311
01:05:59,080 --> 01:06:01,320
Speaker 1: that inspired it or was it truly just they came

1312
01:06:01,360 --> 01:06:04,600
Speaker 1: to you to ask would you write a book? Well,

1313
01:06:04,680 --> 01:06:06,720
Speaker 1: let's answer that. So, yeah, that was why I wrote

1314
01:06:06,720 --> 01:06:10,640
Speaker 1: the books, because they came and asked. Um. But the

1315
01:06:10,680 --> 01:06:13,600
Speaker 1: concept of the book had existed long before that. Uh.

1316
01:06:13,680 --> 01:06:16,000
Speaker 1: And it really happened. And actually we've talked about it.

1317
01:06:16,040 --> 01:06:18,480
Speaker 1: But you know, my story is this, and it's not

1318
01:06:18,520 --> 01:06:21,040
Speaker 1: one to feel bad about. It's just my stories. I

1319
01:06:21,120 --> 01:06:23,440
Speaker 1: moved to Denver, Colorado. I was an only child. I

1320
01:06:23,480 --> 01:06:25,560
Speaker 1: had no friends in Denver, but it was the only

1321
01:06:25,640 --> 01:06:27,840
Speaker 1: job that offered me a job, and so I went

1322
01:06:27,880 --> 01:06:29,600
Speaker 1: and took this job. I knew nobody out there, and

1323
01:06:29,640 --> 01:06:31,360
Speaker 1: so for a year of my life, I would go

1324
01:06:31,400 --> 01:06:33,240
Speaker 1: to work, I go back home. I would sit on

1325
01:06:33,280 --> 01:06:36,000
Speaker 1: my couch uh and I would go to bed and

1326
01:06:36,040 --> 01:06:37,680
Speaker 1: wake up, and it was a really sad life, like

1327
01:06:37,720 --> 01:06:41,320
Speaker 1: I was not doing well. Um, I had not made friends,

1328
01:06:41,360 --> 01:06:43,920
Speaker 1: I had not dated, uh, and it was just kind

1329
01:06:43,920 --> 01:06:46,640
Speaker 1: of a spiral out of control. Well, long story short,

1330
01:06:46,680 --> 01:06:48,560
Speaker 1: the Bachelor calls I go on the Bachelor, and then

1331
01:06:48,600 --> 01:06:50,760
Speaker 1: all of a sudden, I had become the Bachelor, and

1332
01:06:50,800 --> 01:06:53,200
Speaker 1: the tagline for that season is the Perfect Bend. And

1333
01:06:53,240 --> 01:06:55,040
Speaker 1: as soon as I saw it, my heart dropped because

1334
01:06:55,080 --> 01:06:56,640
Speaker 1: I realized that I was never gonna live up to

1335
01:06:56,680 --> 01:06:59,240
Speaker 1: that expectation. I was gonna fall short of that. And

1336
01:06:59,280 --> 01:07:01,200
Speaker 1: even if I try to look up to the expectation,

1337
01:07:01,240 --> 01:07:02,720
Speaker 1: that's not how I want people to know me. I

1338
01:07:02,720 --> 01:07:05,000
Speaker 1: don't want them to know me as this perfect human

1339
01:07:05,000 --> 01:07:07,520
Speaker 1: because that's far far from who I am. And I

1340
01:07:07,520 --> 01:07:09,080
Speaker 1: want people to be able to look at me and say, hey,

1341
01:07:09,120 --> 01:07:11,760
Speaker 1: he's willing to sit in my with me, like he's

1342
01:07:11,760 --> 01:07:14,160
Speaker 1: willing to sit with me in my worst moments. I

1343
01:07:14,200 --> 01:07:16,280
Speaker 1: don't want to look at me and think, oh, he's

1344
01:07:16,360 --> 01:07:19,400
Speaker 1: just a fake and a fraud and he can't relate

1345
01:07:19,440 --> 01:07:22,200
Speaker 1: with me. And so that happens then become the Bachelor,

1346
01:07:22,520 --> 01:07:24,000
Speaker 1: and there's a lot of attention that comes with that,

1347
01:07:24,440 --> 01:07:27,000
Speaker 1: and some of that attention feels really good. Initially it

1348
01:07:27,040 --> 01:07:30,800
Speaker 1: feels really like addicting and euphoric, and it feels really

1349
01:07:30,880 --> 01:07:33,640
Speaker 1: really exciting, and then it fades and I remember this,

1350
01:07:33,640 --> 01:07:35,480
Speaker 1: this is an interesting story that I don't write about

1351
01:07:35,480 --> 01:07:37,200
Speaker 1: in the book. And and I'll close because you only

1352
01:07:37,200 --> 01:07:40,320
Speaker 1: have a few minutes left here. Um, I remember this. Uh,

1353
01:07:40,320 --> 01:07:42,200
Speaker 1: it was my final episode. My parents were up on

1354
01:07:42,280 --> 01:07:44,600
Speaker 1: stage with me and Chris Harrison. There's a clock in

1355
01:07:44,640 --> 01:07:46,120
Speaker 1: the back that shows how much time is left in

1356
01:07:46,120 --> 01:07:47,560
Speaker 1: the show, and there was three minutes left in the

1357
01:07:47,560 --> 01:07:49,720
Speaker 1: clap and he was done, like somehow they had messed up.

1358
01:07:49,720 --> 01:07:51,040
Speaker 1: He was done. He looked at me, he goes Ben.

1359
01:07:51,280 --> 01:07:54,120
Speaker 1: At commercial break, he says, Ben, Uh, do you have

1360
01:07:54,160 --> 01:07:55,880
Speaker 1: a few words you can say for three minutes because

1361
01:07:55,920 --> 01:07:58,480
Speaker 1: we need three minutes to fill It was like I don't, yeah,

1362
01:07:58,720 --> 01:08:01,280
Speaker 1: I'll try something. And I stood there. I was like,

1363
01:08:01,280 --> 01:08:03,160
Speaker 1: what do you want to say? And it hit me

1364
01:08:03,360 --> 01:08:06,439
Speaker 1: as I said, and I remember this, I said, this

1365
01:08:06,520 --> 01:08:09,560
Speaker 1: is my last time as the Bachelor on this stage.

1366
01:08:09,600 --> 01:08:12,120
Speaker 1: I know this has been my fifteen minutes of Fame Fame,

1367
01:08:12,120 --> 01:08:14,000
Speaker 1: and I know it's ending, and if I have one

1368
01:08:14,080 --> 01:08:15,600
Speaker 1: thing to give, I just want to say thank you

1369
01:08:15,960 --> 01:08:17,800
Speaker 1: because I knew that that show is going to change

1370
01:08:17,840 --> 01:08:21,080
Speaker 1: my life forever, enhance it forever. Well, long story short,

1371
01:08:22,200 --> 01:08:25,040
Speaker 1: fame fades. I got into a really dark place, A

1372
01:08:25,080 --> 01:08:28,719
Speaker 1: breakup happens even darker place, and I started journaling, and

1373
01:08:28,720 --> 01:08:30,679
Speaker 1: and that kind of ties into what we're talking about earlier.

1374
01:08:30,720 --> 01:08:32,280
Speaker 1: And uh, and that's where the journal came from. I

1375
01:08:32,320 --> 01:08:33,920
Speaker 1: just I wasn't doing well and I needed to keep

1376
01:08:33,960 --> 01:08:36,439
Speaker 1: building upon this journal that had started when when I

1377
01:08:36,479 --> 01:08:41,639
Speaker 1: first moved to Denver. Wow, that's this is totally meant

1378
01:08:41,640 --> 01:08:44,560
Speaker 1: to be. Like honestly, like everything seems like it's just

1379
01:08:44,680 --> 01:08:47,040
Speaker 1: leading up to this book and being meant to be

1380
01:08:47,040 --> 01:08:51,599
Speaker 1: because I do think that like your purpose in one

1381
01:08:51,720 --> 01:08:54,400
Speaker 1: of your one of your purposes is to make people

1382
01:08:54,439 --> 01:08:58,120
Speaker 1: feel less alone. And if you didn't have those moments,

1383
01:08:58,160 --> 01:09:00,519
Speaker 1: as horrible as that is, that people would able to

1384
01:09:00,560 --> 01:09:02,839
Speaker 1: read this and then they wouldn't be able to relate

1385
01:09:03,000 --> 01:09:06,960
Speaker 1: and feel better about their loneliness. Like I was before

1386
01:09:07,160 --> 01:09:09,680
Speaker 1: you started talking like five minutes ago, I was like,

1387
01:09:09,960 --> 01:09:13,040
Speaker 1: I wonder if him being an only child, like lad

1388
01:09:13,240 --> 01:09:15,679
Speaker 1: to like a lot of the loneliness that he feels.

1389
01:09:16,320 --> 01:09:17,960
Speaker 1: And then I was like, no, like, there's a bigger

1390
01:09:18,000 --> 01:09:21,120
Speaker 1: picture here. There's like so many little elements that add up,

1391
01:09:21,360 --> 01:09:24,760
Speaker 1: you like having the background to write a book like

1392
01:09:24,800 --> 01:09:28,400
Speaker 1: this and therefore makes many people feel better. Yeah, I

1393
01:09:28,400 --> 01:09:30,400
Speaker 1: I agree with you. I don't. I'm not mad. I mean,

1394
01:09:30,439 --> 01:09:32,439
Speaker 1: it's kind of why we say like, I don't want

1395
01:09:32,439 --> 01:09:34,000
Speaker 1: to be the victim in this because some of those

1396
01:09:34,120 --> 01:09:37,360
Speaker 1: hard some of the hardest moments build an empathy and

1397
01:09:37,360 --> 01:09:39,280
Speaker 1: a relatability inside any where. I can look across the

1398
01:09:39,280 --> 01:09:41,000
Speaker 1: table and said, I've been there, and I know what

1399
01:09:41,080 --> 01:09:42,600
Speaker 1: you I know what you don't need to hear, and

1400
01:09:42,600 --> 01:09:44,040
Speaker 1: that's me trying to fix you. I can just sit

1401
01:09:44,120 --> 01:09:46,799
Speaker 1: with you in this because I know you've been there. Actually,

1402
01:09:46,840 --> 01:09:49,680
Speaker 1: tonight has been really special to me. Thank you for

1403
01:09:49,760 --> 01:09:51,920
Speaker 1: sitting with me. Thank you for always supporting me, thank

1404
01:09:51,920 --> 01:09:54,559
Speaker 1: you for being my co host and us. I don't

1405
01:09:54,560 --> 01:09:57,519
Speaker 1: even think we've ever argued, which is pretty impressive. Um,

1406
01:09:58,160 --> 01:10:01,400
Speaker 1: that's actually even when we call and like we call

1407
01:10:01,479 --> 01:10:03,840
Speaker 1: each other about how to handle situation, we're pretty much

1408
01:10:03,840 --> 01:10:06,760
Speaker 1: always on the same page. Pretty good at it. Uh.

1409
01:10:06,800 --> 01:10:08,760
Speaker 1: But thank you for your support here till Jared. Thank

1410
01:10:08,800 --> 01:10:12,639
Speaker 1: you for his support. Thank you for so much spending

1411
01:10:12,640 --> 01:10:15,040
Speaker 1: this evening UM talking about my book and and doing

1412
01:10:15,080 --> 01:10:17,240
Speaker 1: it here on this platform. Thanks to my heart and

1413
01:10:17,320 --> 01:10:19,960
Speaker 1: almost famous team UH for doing this with me tonight,

1414
01:10:19,960 --> 01:10:22,600
Speaker 1: and thank you for all you out there watching UH.

1415
01:10:22,640 --> 01:10:25,040
Speaker 1: I wish I could give you all big hugs, UM,

1416
01:10:25,240 --> 01:10:28,439
Speaker 1: but we can't. Where's your favorite place for people to

1417
01:10:28,439 --> 01:10:32,000
Speaker 1: get the book? The local bookstore. I'm always an encourage

1418
01:10:32,040 --> 01:10:34,200
Speaker 1: of the small local bookstore. They need to help. Obviously

1419
01:10:34,280 --> 01:10:36,719
Speaker 1: those businesses are struggling. But if you don't go there,

1420
01:10:36,800 --> 01:10:40,160
Speaker 1: it's on Amazon. I read the audible book myself, and

1421
01:10:40,200 --> 01:10:42,280
Speaker 1: you heard me reading earlier. I mess up often, so

1422
01:10:42,320 --> 01:10:46,040
Speaker 1: you gotta imagine how much time that took me. Actually,

1423
01:10:46,080 --> 01:10:48,799
Speaker 1: I'm very surprised when you were reading those three pages,

1424
01:10:48,920 --> 01:10:51,800
Speaker 1: how like you didn't stumble at all. I'll be like,

1425
01:10:51,840 --> 01:10:54,479
Speaker 1: oh God, he must have read this over and over

1426
01:10:54,520 --> 01:10:56,599
Speaker 1: again for him to be so smooth. And I'm not

1427
01:10:56,640 --> 01:10:59,240
Speaker 1: saying that about you. I mean you know what I mean,

1428
01:10:59,280 --> 01:11:01,760
Speaker 1: because I can't not, I can never read. We will.

1429
01:11:01,760 --> 01:11:04,920
Speaker 1: We read ads were like great, cut that out, cut

1430
01:11:04,920 --> 01:11:08,920
Speaker 1: that out? So you are perfect at reading your own book? Yeah?

1431
01:11:09,000 --> 01:11:12,880
Speaker 1: It happens. So the Audibles out there, Kendall, Amazon, Barnes

1432
01:11:12,920 --> 01:11:15,400
Speaker 1: and Noble, all those places. Um, you can get it,

1433
01:11:15,479 --> 01:11:17,240
Speaker 1: or you can just go do Ben Higgins book dot

1434
01:11:17,240 --> 01:11:20,320
Speaker 1: com right now in order from there. Hey, Ashley, we're

1435
01:11:20,320 --> 01:11:21,760
Speaker 1: gonna do this the same way we always do it,

1436
01:11:21,800 --> 01:11:24,439
Speaker 1: because this has been a blast. Thank you for joining

1437
01:11:24,560 --> 01:11:29,040
Speaker 1: the Almost Famous podcast promoting my new book Alone in

1438
01:11:29,080 --> 01:11:31,439
Speaker 1: Plain Sight. And Ashley, it's very in here. You have

1439
01:11:31,479 --> 01:11:34,559
Speaker 1: a book out there, what it's it called Lucy and Clark,

1440
01:11:34,640 --> 01:11:36,800
Speaker 1: a story of puppy love, and you can get at

1441
01:11:36,880 --> 01:11:39,600
Speaker 1: Lucy and Clark book dot com. How sweet of you

1442
01:11:39,720 --> 01:11:42,720
Speaker 1: to plug right hey with that. I've been been, I've

1443
01:11:42,720 --> 01:11:48,360
Speaker 1: been Ashley. Follow the Benn and Ashley I Almost Famous

1444
01:11:48,360 --> 01:11:51,479
Speaker 1: podcasts on I our Radio, or subscribe wherever you listen

1445
01:11:51,520 --> 01:11:52,280
Speaker 1: to podcasts.