WEBVTT - Love is Whine

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<v Speaker 1>Wind Down with Janet Kramer and I'm Heeart Radio podcast. Okay,

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<v Speaker 1>it's High Pony Day, National High Pony Day here on

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<v Speaker 1>wind Down here mirror.

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<v Speaker 2>I know people can't see. I get in my DMS

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<v Speaker 2>all the time. Can I please see the videos? But

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<v Speaker 2>I know, and we would love to do. It's just

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<v Speaker 2>we just do these the clips for socials and stuff. Yeah,

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<v Speaker 2>iddios don't really work like YouTube. It's it's just like

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<v Speaker 2>one more extra layer and it doesn't really like I

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<v Speaker 2>would love to.

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<v Speaker 1>I think what they're really wanting, yeah, is my reactions.

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<v Speaker 1>You've got good ones. Well, I've tried to lock it

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<v Speaker 1>up a little bit lately because people are like dying.

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<v Speaker 1>I want to see what your face was like, especially

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<v Speaker 1>with the mic.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, the mic three part series, which I think went well.

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<v Speaker 1>Mature and well. I have not re listened. I sometimes

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<v Speaker 1>will listen, uh huh to episodes we've done, but I

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<v Speaker 1>didn't do because I just felt like I lived it

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<v Speaker 1>and I'm done living it. Sure, Yeah, but that was great.

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<v Speaker 1>It's like the next chapter. No pun noun and don't

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<v Speaker 1>forget to get your New York best selling copy, oh

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<v Speaker 1>Man Cramer or you're about to have a baby. I

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<v Speaker 1>mean it could could it happen while we're doing this podcast? No,

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<v Speaker 1>and well let's hope not.

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<v Speaker 2>You know, I think I'm in a really weird space

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<v Speaker 2>and being just like super honest, be honest, because I mean,

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<v Speaker 2>we'll see what date is this? You know, we record

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<v Speaker 2>obviously a couple of days before this, errors and everything.

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<v Speaker 1>But this last week has just been.

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<v Speaker 2>Interesting, and I know I didn't post about it, and

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<v Speaker 2>I because it's like it's one of those things where

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<v Speaker 2>I'm in the I'm in the middle space where I

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<v Speaker 2>almost feel like I want to protect up.

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<v Speaker 1>Mm hmm, this is good. Yep, We're in a very

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<v Speaker 1>similar season. Okay, it feels like almost tell me if

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<v Speaker 1>this feels accurate. Huh. To me, it's feeling like when

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<v Speaker 1>I'm posting while I'm doing something, it's cheapening my experience.

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<v Speaker 1>And so I've been a little bit more passionate. Like

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<v Speaker 1>the whole DC trip I did, I didn't post at all.

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<v Speaker 1>I just posted a couple days after and was like, psa,

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<v Speaker 1>go date your husband. And then I started to make

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<v Speaker 1>like a reel of all the pictures and then I

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<v Speaker 1>was like what but why for what special to me? Yeah?

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<v Speaker 1>But like also just there is some in your in

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<v Speaker 1>I get like extra, Mama bear. I'd imagine that feels

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<v Speaker 1>like extra to you right now. Yeah, I don't know.

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<v Speaker 2>It's just like a really I was thinking about it yesterday.

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<v Speaker 1>Do you want to share this week? Well? I don't know.

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<v Speaker 2>And that's the thing because I'm like, it's the kind

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<v Speaker 2>of the space I'm att where it's I share so

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<v Speaker 2>much online and then there's the part where I don't

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<v Speaker 2>want to share as much. But then also I love sharing.

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<v Speaker 2>So it's like I'm like, I fight with myself. Well,

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<v Speaker 2>also they're invested in your story, sure, but I also

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<v Speaker 2>fight with what gets picked up or what said, because

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<v Speaker 2>I mean when we went to do the baby moon thing,

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<v Speaker 2>it was like, oh my god, harsh. I yet it'splying

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<v Speaker 2>a victim, you know, or or just always wants attention.

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<v Speaker 1>Why does this girl? And it's like because they usually

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<v Speaker 1>just check people into hospitals for no reason.

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<v Speaker 2>Like you know, it's just I'm just like, you know, no,

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<v Speaker 2>I just also wanted to say, hey, if you got

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<v Speaker 2>back problem, it might be your kidney and you might have.

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah you got ninety nine problems and the kidney could

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<v Speaker 1>be won.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, but I just I'm like, I don't want to

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<v Speaker 2>like back in the hospital or you know, like those

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<v Speaker 2>like Gary Staines. Yes, and then I'm like, Okay, I

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<v Speaker 2>just really want to hunker down and cocoon and just

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<v Speaker 2>have the sweetest memories with Jolie Jason Allen before everything.

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<v Speaker 2>And I think it's all just like very scary too.

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah.

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<v Speaker 2>I think the unknowns of the delivery and the C

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<v Speaker 2>section and we are now moving it up even again,

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<v Speaker 2>and you know, so it's just a lot of stuff

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<v Speaker 2>that I'm like, it's just feels kind of scary that

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<v Speaker 2>I think this scarcity mindset and me makes me just

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<v Speaker 2>want to like hunger and like keep it tight.

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah, that's okay. I think that's good. I think that

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<v Speaker 1>actually God designs us to be that way right before anyway.

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<v Speaker 2>And then another thing too is I was in therapy,

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<v Speaker 2>was it last week?

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<v Speaker 3>Yeah?

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<v Speaker 1>Sweet Amy? Sweet Amy.

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<v Speaker 2>I went to talk to Amy when I got back

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<v Speaker 2>from press week from the book.

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<v Speaker 4>And.

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<v Speaker 2>As we're always learning and growing, there's things that obviously

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<v Speaker 2>we feel, and so I was telling her some things

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<v Speaker 2>that I'm still kind of struggling with right and I

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<v Speaker 2>feel really good with it now after I discussed it

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<v Speaker 2>with her, but it was basically, it's hard for me

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<v Speaker 2>when people in my not I'm not even circle, it's

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<v Speaker 2>not circle at all. It's the people outside the circle

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<v Speaker 2>that no matter what you do or say, they're going

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<v Speaker 2>to have their opinion of you no matter what, Like

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<v Speaker 2>their minds are already made up, right, And so an

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<v Speaker 2>instant or instance instance, an instance came up where someone

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<v Speaker 2>associated but not in the circle, I just think, no

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<v Speaker 2>matter what I do, this person has already made their

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<v Speaker 2>mind up about me. And for me, it's frustrating because

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<v Speaker 2>I'm like a part of me wants to be like, well,

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<v Speaker 2>that's not who I am. You're hearing and you're you're

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<v Speaker 2>listening to people from even two years ago. Was I'm

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<v Speaker 2>a totally different person from two years ago?

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<v Speaker 1>How far removed? Yeah?

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<v Speaker 2>And I'm like, why do I feel like I have

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<v Speaker 2>to defend myself that I'm this new person? Why do

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<v Speaker 2>I feel like I have to be like, well, I've

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<v Speaker 2>done X, Y and Z, and you know that person

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<v Speaker 2>kind of knew the old me or the old me

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<v Speaker 2>and my or my thirties or whatever. And it's but

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<v Speaker 2>it was hard for me when someone you know is

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<v Speaker 2>allowing what that person says I'm like, you, you haven't

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<v Speaker 2>even given me a chance to show you a different

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<v Speaker 2>person of me, and so I'm like I had to somehow.

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<v Speaker 2>I don't know if that anyone that bothers anyone else,

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<v Speaker 2>but like for me, I was like, why do I

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<v Speaker 2>still feel It's not that I want that one person

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<v Speaker 2>to know that I've changed because this point I did

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<v Speaker 2>for a while, because I remember when I even got divorced.

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<v Speaker 1>I'm like, why does he hate me?

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<v Speaker 2>Like I didn't do all of the pain, you know,

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<v Speaker 2>like he also so I'm like I could hate him,

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<v Speaker 2>Like why you don't get to hate me or like

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<v Speaker 2>just one sided, you know, like it just felt so

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<v Speaker 2>I remember having a certain situation with this somebody else.

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<v Speaker 2>I'm like, you also did X right, I've owned up

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<v Speaker 2>to my part and you've never owned up to yours

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<v Speaker 2>and you still walk around and talk bad about me,

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<v Speaker 2>and that bothers me because I'm like, but because you

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<v Speaker 2>haven't owned your piece too, like I've owned mine.

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah. I struggle when people can't own period. Yeah, Like

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<v Speaker 1>it's okay, make mistakes, change be whoever. I never had

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<v Speaker 1>a problem with that. That's just being human. When there's

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<v Speaker 1>no ownership, I struggle hard. I just need you to say, man,

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<v Speaker 1>I can't believe I did. I don't even actually, I

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<v Speaker 1>don't even have a cookie cutter template for how.

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<v Speaker 2>I like the apology to look at all. The thing

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<v Speaker 2>is I don't even need an apologize. That's saying like

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<v Speaker 2>I just long gone wanted apology from anybody. It's just

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<v Speaker 2>the person that still will say bad things where I'm like,

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<v Speaker 2>but and totally you're right, I was X, Y, and

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<v Speaker 2>Z one thousand percent, But do you want to also

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<v Speaker 2>say what you did? Yeah? Also also contributed to my

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<v Speaker 2>little like Craig cry, you know what I mean two

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<v Speaker 2>years ago?

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<v Speaker 1>Right? More than right? So like what are we doing? Like?

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<v Speaker 2>But like I think when then when I was like

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<v Speaker 2>really hurt about this other situation that involved the other person,

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<v Speaker 2>I was kind of like, man, like what have I

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<v Speaker 2>done to.

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<v Speaker 1>Them?

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<v Speaker 2>Like like like buddy up? And then I was telling her,

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<v Speaker 2>I was like it was really affecting me because I'm like,

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<v Speaker 2>I it hurt me, like it hurt my feelings, and

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<v Speaker 2>I just you know, I want I've tried so hard

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<v Speaker 2>to get to the other side of all the healing

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<v Speaker 2>and the growth, and every day you know.

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<v Speaker 1>Is you you do better.

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<v Speaker 2>And you learn and whatever. But I was like, Amy,

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<v Speaker 2>why is this peace still bothering me? And She's like,

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<v Speaker 2>people will go to other people to fit their narrative.

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<v Speaker 1>That's what I was gonna say.

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<v Speaker 2>Whether it's true or not true, they have already made

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<v Speaker 2>your mind up about you, and now they want someone

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<v Speaker 2>else to carry along that narrative so that they can

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<v Speaker 2>feel that they're justified in how they feel or look

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<v Speaker 2>at you or think about you.

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<v Speaker 1>I deal with it in my own family system, and

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<v Speaker 1>I'm the villain.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, And I'm like, no matter, because there was something

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<v Speaker 2>that even came out to where it's like there was

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<v Speaker 2>this and this is why I think I want to

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<v Speaker 2>like write another book, And this is why I think

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<v Speaker 2>I'm wanting to just go in word more is because

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<v Speaker 2>people think I have control over interviews and editorial. What

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<v Speaker 2>the editor writes. Ninety percent of those things get that

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<v Speaker 2>get picked up. I don't interview for they just pick

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<v Speaker 2>up from my stories, which this back in the day.

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<v Speaker 2>The trolls would say I pay for them, which is insane.

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<v Speaker 1>I would pay not to because it gives me anxiety.

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<v Speaker 2>I don't write it because it's usually not something nice

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<v Speaker 2>that they pick.

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<v Speaker 1>Up yeah, so and then they create literally a whole

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<v Speaker 1>story around it, but if you really read, it's just

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<v Speaker 1>a bunch of filler words and like one quote from me, yeah.

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<v Speaker 2>And if from from like an instagram or something, right,

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<v Speaker 2>and what was then being written about im? Like, I

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<v Speaker 2>don't control what they write. I don't, nor do I

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<v Speaker 2>look at it. But again, and it fits someone's narrative

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<v Speaker 2>that oh yep, she's trying to exclude or trying to

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<v Speaker 2>not exclude, but you know, trying to manipulate something. I'm like, Okay, again,

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<v Speaker 2>that's your narrative that you're always going to believe about me.

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<v Speaker 2>That's not the case. And so that's where I just

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<v Speaker 2>have started to feel just icky with social media. I'm

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<v Speaker 2>in the space I just want to now just hunker

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<v Speaker 2>and protect and.

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<v Speaker 1>I think you should honor that. Thank you.

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<v Speaker 2>But also it was after talking to Amy, there was

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<v Speaker 2>this freeing release of going, I know what the truth is.

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<v Speaker 2>So there's no point again in me constantly feeling like

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<v Speaker 2>I have to defend myself. It's like the last piece.

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<v Speaker 2>It's like I've done so much freakin' work, and that's

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<v Speaker 2>the piece that's been the hardest for me to let

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<v Speaker 2>go is that No. No, Like I'm a good person.

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<v Speaker 2>I've learned, and I was even seeing it in my

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<v Speaker 2>messaging during press week. It's like I've owned up to

0:10:58.600 --> 0:11:01.000
<v Speaker 2>my toxic patterns and yes, I was manipulative and yes,

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<v Speaker 2>and I didn't even it's the book. Isn't about the

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<v Speaker 2>fact that I was lied to, cheated in X, Y

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<v Speaker 2>and Z or any of those things, or I owned

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<v Speaker 2>my Yeah, you know my piece of it ends. Looking

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<v Speaker 2>in the mirror, I'm like, why am I doing it

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<v Speaker 2>so hardcore? Being like I've fought and I've learned.

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<v Speaker 1>The last piece you need isn't yours.

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<v Speaker 3>Yeah.

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<v Speaker 2>But then I was like, I'm really trying to push

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<v Speaker 2>something and I just need to, Like, I know that

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<v Speaker 2>I've changed and I've grown and I've seen things differently

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<v Speaker 2>front row. So I'm like, why do I feel like

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<v Speaker 2>I have to try to convince those certain people that

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<v Speaker 2>hurt me that can't be convinced either way. I can

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<v Speaker 2>never be convinced. You will always have their opinion and

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<v Speaker 2>that's fine. And it was like this once we talked

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<v Speaker 2>about it, this.

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<v Speaker 1>Like weight that got lifted.

0:11:46.559 --> 0:11:48.480
<v Speaker 2>I was like, there is nothing that I can do

0:11:48.720 --> 0:11:53.360
<v Speaker 2>ever ever, and I just have to go okay, and

0:11:53.440 --> 0:11:55.800
<v Speaker 2>it was this weird, crazy release, and so I was

0:11:55.840 --> 0:11:57.640
<v Speaker 2>I was thinking about it, and I was wondering whether

0:11:57.679 --> 0:11:59.800
<v Speaker 2>to talk about it or not on the show. But

0:11:59.880 --> 0:12:02.199
<v Speaker 2>I think we care too much about and I think

0:12:02.240 --> 0:12:06.200
<v Speaker 2>it's shame because I don't love that I was that person. Sure,

0:12:06.440 --> 0:12:09.600
<v Speaker 2>but I also know why, given my past and everything

0:12:09.600 --> 0:12:11.560
<v Speaker 2>else that I wrote about the next chapter. But you

0:12:11.559 --> 0:12:14.600
<v Speaker 2>know what I'm saying, get your New York Times bestselling copy,

0:12:14.679 --> 0:12:17.160
<v Speaker 2>That's what I'm saying. Like it's that I get it,

0:12:17.240 --> 0:12:20.040
<v Speaker 2>but you just say you don't have to do that.

0:12:20.080 --> 0:12:22.320
<v Speaker 2>Ex People, It's like, can't I talk to you about

0:12:22.320 --> 0:12:24.440
<v Speaker 2>it on the phone. So I'm really torn up about it.

0:12:24.480 --> 0:12:26.199
<v Speaker 2>We just have to stay in a place of empowerment

0:12:26.200 --> 0:12:30.800
<v Speaker 2>for ourselves. And that feels like when I even say that,

0:12:30.880 --> 0:12:33.000
<v Speaker 2>I feel in my body it's like we know who

0:12:33.040 --> 0:12:35.880
<v Speaker 2>we are. The people we loved the most in our

0:12:35.920 --> 0:12:37.880
<v Speaker 2>inner circle know exactly who we are.

0:12:39.480 --> 0:12:41.560
<v Speaker 1>They know the work we've done. We know and like, yeah,

0:12:41.679 --> 0:12:44.439
<v Speaker 1>and there's just no, You're never going to convince people otherwise.

0:12:44.800 --> 0:12:48.079
<v Speaker 1>And most of the time I would say I'm no psychologist,

0:12:48.120 --> 0:12:50.000
<v Speaker 1>But ninety nine percent of the time, I feel like

0:12:50.040 --> 0:12:52.400
<v Speaker 1>the people that can't change the narrative in their mind.

0:12:52.480 --> 0:12:57.800
<v Speaker 1>It's because they have massive wounds, huge insecurities. Something hits

0:12:57.840 --> 0:12:59.360
<v Speaker 1>a chord with them that they feel like they just

0:12:59.559 --> 0:13:02.280
<v Speaker 1>so they just keep continuing. It's better to just keep

0:13:02.280 --> 0:13:04.679
<v Speaker 1>being in this like ugly little circle where we can

0:13:04.760 --> 0:13:07.480
<v Speaker 1>keep talking about somebody over two years ago that you

0:13:07.600 --> 0:13:11.440
<v Speaker 1>knew for ten minutes. Like it's exhausting and it's not

0:13:11.520 --> 0:13:12.040
<v Speaker 1>up to us.

0:13:12.360 --> 0:13:15.240
<v Speaker 2>No, And so that was our love and energy is

0:13:15.280 --> 0:13:17.960
<v Speaker 2>better served in other circles, Yeah, like our f And

0:13:18.000 --> 0:13:21.319
<v Speaker 2>I still like it's still I'd still hate it, of course, bummer.

0:13:21.800 --> 0:13:24.160
<v Speaker 2>It is a bunch is a bummer because I'm like,

0:13:24.160 --> 0:13:29.320
<v Speaker 2>I don't I would like the opportunity to be seen

0:13:29.760 --> 0:13:33.160
<v Speaker 2>or given the chance. Having said that again, when you

0:13:33.200 --> 0:13:35.880
<v Speaker 2>go to other people that are probably not going to

0:13:35.920 --> 0:13:37.959
<v Speaker 2>have the best things to say about me, you're now

0:13:38.000 --> 0:13:44.480
<v Speaker 2>just trying to fill, yeah, your own opinion. They can't

0:13:44.480 --> 0:13:46.880
<v Speaker 2>hear it because they've already they've already made up their minds.

0:13:46.920 --> 0:13:49.240
<v Speaker 2>So what Amy had said, she goes, this is going

0:13:49.280 --> 0:13:50.839
<v Speaker 2>to be weird, and she's like, but it feels like

0:13:50.880 --> 0:13:53.480
<v Speaker 2>a very like spiritual attack. So she goes pray for them,

0:13:54.000 --> 0:13:57.040
<v Speaker 2>and that's actually worked when you pray for those people

0:13:57.360 --> 0:14:00.840
<v Speaker 2>mm hmm to have a softer or I'm like, huh, okay,

0:14:01.040 --> 0:14:02.360
<v Speaker 2>yeah and nice it was worked.

0:14:02.640 --> 0:14:05.840
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, I like it. I've been doing a two part prayer, okay,

0:14:06.000 --> 0:14:09.200
<v Speaker 1>one part protection, but what I always feel like I

0:14:09.240 --> 0:14:14.000
<v Speaker 1>pray for is protection only. And I don't ever pray

0:14:14.240 --> 0:14:16.840
<v Speaker 1>for the changed heart of another person. I never pray

0:14:16.880 --> 0:14:21.680
<v Speaker 1>for the dismantling of a person or a narrative. I

0:14:21.680 --> 0:14:23.320
<v Speaker 1>think it's because I don't feel a out of hope.

0:14:24.160 --> 0:14:24.400
<v Speaker 3>Yeah.

0:14:24.480 --> 0:14:26.080
<v Speaker 1>Well she said it could be twenty years, it could

0:14:26.120 --> 0:14:29.760
<v Speaker 1>be never, but at least it softens the Yeah, you're

0:14:29.760 --> 0:14:33.600
<v Speaker 1>at least putting out love as opposed to putting out

0:14:33.880 --> 0:14:36.440
<v Speaker 1>a closed door. And I'm a closed I'm a drawbridge

0:14:36.480 --> 0:14:39.080
<v Speaker 1>up kind of gal. Anyways. Yeah, I just isolate, and

0:14:39.120 --> 0:14:41.160
<v Speaker 1>I'm like, yep, I mean I'm supposed to do two

0:14:41.200 --> 0:14:44.600
<v Speaker 1>events today. I've already take myself out of one, but

0:14:44.640 --> 0:14:47.120
<v Speaker 1>I'd rather be home. But yeah, a safe place. Well

0:14:47.120 --> 0:14:47.720
<v Speaker 1>that's the thing too.

0:14:47.760 --> 0:14:49.760
<v Speaker 2>I think with the arrival of babes and like the

0:14:49.800 --> 0:14:53.800
<v Speaker 2>scary things that could happen, I'm just kind of like,

0:14:53.840 --> 0:14:57.040
<v Speaker 2>you know what, I'm going to just protect, yeah, and

0:14:57.160 --> 0:14:57.680
<v Speaker 2>just hunger.

0:14:58.200 --> 0:15:01.280
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, this is good. Yeah, get in draw bridge out

0:15:01.360 --> 0:15:04.960
<v Speaker 1>if anyone queen is having a baby for better calmdown

0:15:05.040 --> 0:15:05.800
<v Speaker 1>is on every day.

0:15:05.880 --> 0:15:08.880
<v Speaker 2>Jolly is like these money days, these money days. I'm excited.

0:15:21.440 --> 0:15:24.360
<v Speaker 1>I sent the new new new C section date to

0:15:24.400 --> 0:15:28.160
<v Speaker 1>the girls. And what did you say? You're like something

0:15:28.160 --> 0:15:30.160
<v Speaker 1>about I said, sorry, I'm late. I was scrubbing in

0:15:30.200 --> 0:15:30.640
<v Speaker 1>for the oor.

0:15:31.040 --> 0:15:33.880
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, and he said, Alan only knew that this is

0:15:34.080 --> 0:15:35.040
<v Speaker 2>my baby.

0:15:34.760 --> 0:15:38.760
<v Speaker 1>Not poor Alan. He's so cute. You think like, I'm

0:15:38.800 --> 0:15:45.000
<v Speaker 1>gonna like intersect. Does they hand the baby? I'm like, Alan,

0:15:45.080 --> 0:15:47.720
<v Speaker 1>look what we've got. He's like, can I hold my child?

0:15:47.840 --> 0:15:49.480
<v Speaker 1>I'm going to give you space as long as you

0:15:49.560 --> 0:15:53.000
<v Speaker 1>need it. Oh man, But the minute you're ready for

0:15:53.040 --> 0:15:55.400
<v Speaker 1>me to breathe your air, I am just in the

0:15:55.400 --> 0:15:59.480
<v Speaker 1>parking lot. I just need prayers. We've got good prayers.

0:15:59.480 --> 0:15:59.720
<v Speaker 4>Good.

0:16:00.120 --> 0:16:03.280
<v Speaker 1>This is going to be the delivery. Got a lot

0:16:03.320 --> 0:16:05.680
<v Speaker 1>on your plate. You're doing great. I'd like to say

0:16:06.640 --> 0:16:09.280
<v Speaker 1>thank you. You're doing a great job. There's a lot

0:16:09.320 --> 0:16:14.480
<v Speaker 1>to navigate. I'm four months almost five months postpartum, and

0:16:14.600 --> 0:16:19.840
<v Speaker 1>the hormones and the emotions and the last bit right

0:16:19.840 --> 0:16:21.840
<v Speaker 1>before you have the baby. It's a lot I look

0:16:21.880 --> 0:16:23.680
<v Speaker 1>back now and I'm like, whoah, I really said that,

0:16:23.800 --> 0:16:24.920
<v Speaker 1>or whoa, I really did that.

0:16:25.640 --> 0:16:27.040
<v Speaker 2>I don't know if we talked about on here but

0:16:27.200 --> 0:16:31.760
<v Speaker 2>to that point the other day because I just with

0:16:31.840 --> 0:16:35.760
<v Speaker 2>everything going on and I'm just it's a lot. And

0:16:35.800 --> 0:16:37.600
<v Speaker 2>he goes, Babe, you're gonna be You're gonna be good

0:16:38.040 --> 0:16:43.440
<v Speaker 2>in just so many days. And I'm like, no one

0:16:43.640 --> 0:16:47.320
<v Speaker 2>educates the postpartum part because I'm like, yeah, I'll be happy,

0:16:47.360 --> 0:16:49.880
<v Speaker 2>babies out and healthy and mom self like I want

0:16:49.920 --> 0:16:50.520
<v Speaker 2>everyone healthy.

0:16:50.560 --> 0:16:52.840
<v Speaker 1>But then come the.

0:16:52.280 --> 0:16:56.640
<v Speaker 2>The roller coaster the postpartum. He's like, what what's that?

0:16:57.040 --> 0:16:58.400
<v Speaker 2>And I'm like, oh my god.

0:16:58.280 --> 0:17:02.240
<v Speaker 1>Maybe we have allan interest. Grab a beer together, just

0:17:02.280 --> 0:17:03.160
<v Speaker 1>talk about a couple of things.

0:17:03.160 --> 0:17:05.800
<v Speaker 2>I don't think anyone talks about that. Anyone talks about

0:17:05.840 --> 0:17:09.520
<v Speaker 2>the emotions after baby. No, I don't think you understand.

0:17:09.640 --> 0:17:11.919
<v Speaker 2>You will walk into the room and I remember this

0:17:12.000 --> 0:17:13.840
<v Speaker 2>with both kids. I will be crying and I will

0:17:13.880 --> 0:17:14.920
<v Speaker 2>have no idea why no.

0:17:15.040 --> 0:17:18.000
<v Speaker 1>And you're exhausted too. I mean that doesn't help. They're sleeped.

0:17:18.119 --> 0:17:22.480
<v Speaker 1>I mean they use sleep deprivation. Sleep deprivation as a

0:17:22.560 --> 0:17:25.399
<v Speaker 1>torture tactic for a reason. Yeah, I mean you go

0:17:25.640 --> 0:17:29.439
<v Speaker 1>we go in and it's an incredible, beautiful experience and

0:17:29.480 --> 0:17:32.320
<v Speaker 1>you're it's the nights and the dark circles, and it's

0:17:32.480 --> 0:17:36.920
<v Speaker 1>you know, it's everything, and it's also layered and tired

0:17:36.960 --> 0:17:40.800
<v Speaker 1>and hormonal. And you've got two big kids. We're navigating

0:17:40.800 --> 0:17:44.240
<v Speaker 1>the middle kids space right now. At home with Leggie,

0:17:44.560 --> 0:17:48.800
<v Speaker 1>Sweet Leggie, we had he went through a time where

0:17:48.800 --> 0:17:51.440
<v Speaker 1>he was pee in his pants, which is not like him.

0:17:51.560 --> 0:17:54.760
<v Speaker 1>It's okay. So we're just seeing everything for what it

0:17:54.920 --> 0:17:57.440
<v Speaker 1>is and what you know, instead of being like, you know,

0:17:57.520 --> 0:18:00.600
<v Speaker 1>come on, buddy. You know, I'm like, okay, little control

0:18:00.640 --> 0:18:05.679
<v Speaker 1>over something. We're just navigating. But I've noticed my feelings

0:18:05.720 --> 0:18:08.879
<v Speaker 1>towards them. They make me emotional because I'm like, you

0:18:08.960 --> 0:18:11.879
<v Speaker 1>deserve You've had more of me than you're getting. So

0:18:11.960 --> 0:18:14.480
<v Speaker 1>that's an adjustment. And now we have this person who

0:18:14.480 --> 0:18:17.280
<v Speaker 1>we're all obsessed with. We can agree on that. Company

0:18:17.280 --> 0:18:19.800
<v Speaker 1>morale seems like it's at an all time high, but

0:18:19.920 --> 0:18:22.919
<v Speaker 1>the CEO is a little distracted and that's hard on

0:18:22.960 --> 0:18:24.919
<v Speaker 1>them too. I can see it. Well, you have your

0:18:24.960 --> 0:18:28.199
<v Speaker 1>kids at home too. I do all the time, so

0:18:28.240 --> 0:18:31.760
<v Speaker 1>that's I can't even imagine that. Yeah, because I think

0:18:31.800 --> 0:18:35.160
<v Speaker 1>I'll be able to, and the summer was hard because

0:18:35.720 --> 0:18:37.399
<v Speaker 1>it was like hot, I couldn't I mean we had

0:18:37.440 --> 0:18:39.679
<v Speaker 1>a heat advisory for four minutes, so we couldn't go

0:18:39.800 --> 0:18:44.160
<v Speaker 1>run or walk orl sprain tailbone. Elder mom over here

0:18:44.359 --> 0:18:49.240
<v Speaker 1>was we should get Preston and Alan on the next

0:18:49.359 --> 0:18:52.040
<v Speaker 1>because we should be able to record one more. So, yeah,

0:18:52.040 --> 0:18:54.200
<v Speaker 1>it'd be kind of fun we can talk about. Preston

0:18:54.280 --> 0:18:59.760
<v Speaker 1>is actually pretty into pretty insightful. Words are tricky. He's

0:18:59.800 --> 0:19:02.480
<v Speaker 1>more insightful this time around. It's been really cool to watch.

0:19:02.520 --> 0:19:04.120
<v Speaker 1>Did you do it? I think you'd do it?

0:19:04.240 --> 0:19:06.040
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, that'd be fun to get the guys on just

0:19:06.080 --> 0:19:09.040
<v Speaker 2>the kind of the episode before, because he I think

0:19:09.040 --> 0:19:11.960
<v Speaker 2>it would be beneficial for your partnership.

0:19:12.160 --> 0:19:17.080
<v Speaker 1>Uh huh, yeah, because I because the first time Preston struggled,

0:19:17.119 --> 0:19:18.600
<v Speaker 1>he was like, I don't know what happened to this

0:19:18.640 --> 0:19:20.400
<v Speaker 1>woman I'm in love with? Where'd she go?

0:19:20.960 --> 0:19:21.160
<v Speaker 3>Right?

0:19:21.440 --> 0:19:22.680
<v Speaker 1>I mean it was wrong?

0:19:23.720 --> 0:19:25.520
<v Speaker 2>Well yeah again, because I think they're just they think

0:19:25.520 --> 0:19:29.639
<v Speaker 2>once the baby's out, everything's just you're good and everything

0:19:29.640 --> 0:19:31.280
<v Speaker 2>goes back to normal. I'm like, doesn't it take a

0:19:31.359 --> 0:19:33.280
<v Speaker 2>year for your hormones to go back after baby?

0:19:33.359 --> 0:19:35.800
<v Speaker 1>Minimum? Some new study says seven years or something now.

0:19:37.000 --> 0:19:38.959
<v Speaker 1>So I just got back to her, can't wait. I'll

0:19:39.000 --> 0:19:41.119
<v Speaker 1>see you in twenty thirty when we get our shit together.

0:19:42.840 --> 0:19:44.280
<v Speaker 3>Oh I love.

0:19:44.680 --> 0:19:47.040
<v Speaker 1>It's a lot, and it's a beautiful a lot, but

0:19:47.080 --> 0:19:50.000
<v Speaker 1>it's still a lot, and they can't understand what we

0:19:50.080 --> 0:19:51.280
<v Speaker 1>go through. They just can't. Well.

0:19:51.280 --> 0:19:55.000
<v Speaker 2>And bless Alan too, because I mentioned the night nurse

0:19:55.080 --> 0:19:59.000
<v Speaker 2>to him and I just said, hey, I'm really thinking

0:19:59.040 --> 0:20:03.359
<v Speaker 2>about a one night a week night nurse if that's

0:20:03.760 --> 0:20:05.840
<v Speaker 2>you know, And he didn't. He's like, what's a night nurse?

0:20:05.840 --> 0:20:07.600
<v Speaker 2>He's like, someone just takes your baby. And for me,

0:20:07.600 --> 0:20:10.760
<v Speaker 2>third kid, I'm like, here, have my baby. I don't

0:20:10.760 --> 0:20:12.440
<v Speaker 2>even need aground check.

0:20:12.640 --> 0:20:14.440
<v Speaker 1>Do you just know what sleep will do for you too?

0:20:14.560 --> 0:20:14.679
<v Speaker 4>Right?

0:20:14.720 --> 0:20:16.119
<v Speaker 2>And that's what I said, I'm like, And that was

0:20:16.160 --> 0:20:20.160
<v Speaker 2>along the same conversation of the whole postpartum and what

0:20:20.200 --> 0:20:22.520
<v Speaker 2>that could look like and how that can affect not sleeping.

0:20:22.600 --> 0:20:26.080
<v Speaker 2>So I said, you know, Kristen had recommended someone and

0:20:26.119 --> 0:20:28.320
<v Speaker 2>I love and trust her. Yes, I'm like, it's just

0:20:28.359 --> 0:20:31.280
<v Speaker 2>it would just be one day a week. And you know,

0:20:31.320 --> 0:20:33.159
<v Speaker 2>I think he's not really sure how he feels about it,

0:20:33.720 --> 0:20:36.359
<v Speaker 2>But for me, I'm going to be like, I just

0:20:36.400 --> 0:20:38.680
<v Speaker 2>know that that's what I will own because I will

0:20:38.680 --> 0:20:40.960
<v Speaker 2>want to get up if not. But I know I

0:20:41.080 --> 0:20:43.080
<v Speaker 2>need at least need like one good nights.

0:20:43.400 --> 0:20:45.679
<v Speaker 1>I feel like you and I are family here, you know,

0:20:45.720 --> 0:20:47.760
<v Speaker 1>so I'm like, yes, doesn't say we're so similar to

0:20:47.840 --> 0:20:50.439
<v Speaker 1>in the way we're wired, like when it's time to

0:20:50.480 --> 0:20:54.160
<v Speaker 1>get things done, we get things done right. Also we're

0:20:54.200 --> 0:20:57.280
<v Speaker 1>older moms. This time, I did use the night dola.

0:20:57.600 --> 0:21:01.359
<v Speaker 1>Actually two nights a week for a couple of weeks. Okay,

0:21:01.480 --> 0:21:04.040
<v Speaker 1>just because I I had to start slow with them,

0:21:04.040 --> 0:21:05.879
<v Speaker 1>you know. He's so old school with yeah, yeah, no,

0:21:05.920 --> 0:21:09.400
<v Speaker 1>but it was I shamed myself or something like, I'm

0:21:09.680 --> 0:21:12.119
<v Speaker 1>I can do this, and I like moms do it.

0:21:12.359 --> 0:21:15.359
<v Speaker 1>Yeah yeah, and they do do it all the time,

0:21:15.400 --> 0:21:18.480
<v Speaker 1>but usually grandma's there with a cast role and there's

0:21:18.520 --> 0:21:20.640
<v Speaker 1>an aunt to come. Well, you shan't poo your hair

0:21:20.760 --> 0:21:23.600
<v Speaker 1>something like, we don't have that, so we have to

0:21:23.680 --> 0:21:25.960
<v Speaker 1>lean into the community, you know, back in the I

0:21:26.000 --> 0:21:27.800
<v Speaker 1>won't take too much time on this, but like back

0:21:27.840 --> 0:21:30.640
<v Speaker 1>in the back back days, the way back machine men

0:21:30.720 --> 0:21:34.680
<v Speaker 1>went out and hunting, hunted and gathered, and women communitied

0:21:34.720 --> 0:21:36.600
<v Speaker 1>up and they raised kids together. That's where the wet

0:21:36.640 --> 0:21:39.359
<v Speaker 1>nurses came from. They would nurse each other's babies and

0:21:39.400 --> 0:21:40.960
<v Speaker 1>they would be able to talk to each other and

0:21:40.960 --> 0:21:43.280
<v Speaker 1>make dinner together. And like, we are literally the only

0:21:43.320 --> 0:21:45.840
<v Speaker 1>country that just has a baby and then we exile

0:21:45.880 --> 0:21:49.280
<v Speaker 1>ourselves into our home by ourselves. So like the idea

0:21:49.320 --> 0:21:51.800
<v Speaker 1>of like community and village and love is like what

0:21:51.840 --> 0:21:55.280
<v Speaker 1>we're supposed to do. And so I think it's actually

0:21:55.400 --> 0:21:58.040
<v Speaker 1>a little more godly and beautiful when we allow the help.

0:21:58.640 --> 0:22:00.280
<v Speaker 1>That's how the stance I've kind of had to take

0:22:00.320 --> 0:22:02.240
<v Speaker 1>to make myself feel better about it. I think too,

0:22:02.320 --> 0:22:05.399
<v Speaker 1>But like that the women that you're allowing into your

0:22:05.400 --> 0:22:07.560
<v Speaker 1>life to take care of the baby are also beautiful,

0:22:07.560 --> 0:22:12.320
<v Speaker 1>wonderful humans, like do La Katie, Like I want to

0:22:12.359 --> 0:22:13.840
<v Speaker 1>bring her back just because I want to hang out

0:22:13.840 --> 0:22:16.600
<v Speaker 1>with her. And she just let me cry and she

0:22:16.720 --> 0:22:20.520
<v Speaker 1>helped me pump and like figure out my body and

0:22:20.600 --> 0:22:23.640
<v Speaker 1>she just was like, yeah, yeah, you shouldn't host Thanksgiving

0:22:23.680 --> 0:22:26.680
<v Speaker 1>and I was like thanks, you know, but like it's

0:22:26.680 --> 0:22:30.879
<v Speaker 1>a beautiful that's what we're supposed to do. Yeah, community, village,

0:22:30.880 --> 0:22:33.320
<v Speaker 1>which is why I'm like, are you coming over for Thanksgiving? Oh?

0:22:33.359 --> 0:22:36.639
<v Speaker 1>I'm coming with mashed potatoes and I can't wait to

0:22:36.680 --> 0:22:38.240
<v Speaker 1>hold the baby the entire time. But I won't do

0:22:38.240 --> 0:22:39.520
<v Speaker 1>it if you don't want me to, but I'm here

0:22:39.520 --> 0:22:44.480
<v Speaker 1>if you do, I'll wear him. I just want to

0:22:44.480 --> 0:22:45.879
<v Speaker 1>startlegs to mine.

0:22:47.359 --> 0:22:50.040
<v Speaker 2>Okay, So we're going to take a break and then

0:22:50.240 --> 0:22:53.719
<v Speaker 2>we are going to talk to Zach and Bliss from

0:22:53.800 --> 0:22:59.080
<v Speaker 2>Love is Blind Season four because they are in love

0:22:59.720 --> 0:23:03.000
<v Speaker 2>and ready to do the thing. So take a break

0:23:03.000 --> 0:23:17.119
<v Speaker 2>and get him on. We were just saying, I mean

0:23:17.160 --> 0:23:19.640
<v Speaker 2>the love is blind concept. I feel like I kind

0:23:19.680 --> 0:23:22.520
<v Speaker 2>of love Okay, So I got to see Preston right.

0:23:23.520 --> 0:23:25.520
<v Speaker 2>I could not do this Love is blind, but I

0:23:25.640 --> 0:23:30.120
<v Speaker 2>kind of love was blinded for like six weeks because

0:23:30.160 --> 0:23:36.040
<v Speaker 2>I like met Preston weird, smitten, like head over heels,

0:23:36.240 --> 0:23:39.600
<v Speaker 2>like not like my personality type weird. At the time,

0:23:39.640 --> 0:23:41.800
<v Speaker 2>I like had a severe early allergy to mend like

0:23:41.800 --> 0:23:43.639
<v Speaker 2>I was like, I can't. I don't your gender as

0:23:43.640 --> 0:23:44.480
<v Speaker 2>a whole, like you know.

0:23:44.520 --> 0:23:48.840
<v Speaker 1>Okay, So we met and then I was going to

0:23:48.880 --> 0:23:50.480
<v Speaker 1>meet back up with him, like six weeks later. We

0:23:50.520 --> 0:23:53.280
<v Speaker 1>talked on the phone every day till four, laughing, giggling, whatever,

0:23:53.320 --> 0:23:55.920
<v Speaker 1>And then I thought, I don't even know how big

0:23:55.920 --> 0:23:58.720
<v Speaker 1>he is. I don't know how tall he is, Like

0:23:59.359 --> 0:24:01.840
<v Speaker 1>what if I what if I'm bigger than him? I

0:24:01.880 --> 0:24:04.280
<v Speaker 1>remember him not being like a super giant guy. Sure,

0:24:04.640 --> 0:24:07.240
<v Speaker 1>And so then I was like, am I gonna look

0:24:07.280 --> 0:24:09.320
<v Speaker 1>like one of those like floats from the Macy's Day parade,

0:24:09.320 --> 0:24:10.439
<v Speaker 1>like coming in for a kiss?

0:24:10.600 --> 0:24:11.359
<v Speaker 4>Who big?

0:24:11.480 --> 0:24:15.439
<v Speaker 1>You know? Like, but like that stuff does. Like I

0:24:15.480 --> 0:24:20.040
<v Speaker 1>hate to say it, but I the physical attraction matters.

0:24:20.480 --> 0:24:24.160
<v Speaker 1>The intellectual attraction is incredible, No.

0:24:24.160 --> 0:24:26.639
<v Speaker 2>I feel because it's kind of the same with Allen

0:24:26.680 --> 0:24:29.719
<v Speaker 2>and I like when he reached out to me in October,

0:24:30.600 --> 0:24:33.679
<v Speaker 2>I just saw his little icon because he was private

0:24:33.720 --> 0:24:35.639
<v Speaker 2>on Instagram at the time, so I just saw his

0:24:35.720 --> 0:24:36.840
<v Speaker 2>little teeny icon.

0:24:36.800 --> 0:24:38.239
<v Speaker 1>And it's his whole body, so you can't even really

0:24:38.280 --> 0:24:39.600
<v Speaker 1>see his face anyway. Yeah.

0:24:39.760 --> 0:24:42.639
<v Speaker 2>And then when I we messaged back and forth a

0:24:42.680 --> 0:24:45.720
<v Speaker 2>little bit in October and then November we FaceTime for

0:24:45.760 --> 0:24:48.639
<v Speaker 2>the first time, I'm like, okay, but I still feel

0:24:48.680 --> 0:24:52.520
<v Speaker 2>like face fime and photos they don't give you the no, no,

0:24:52.520 --> 0:24:55.879
<v Speaker 2>no no. I was obviously attracted to him. Sure, you

0:24:55.960 --> 0:24:59.080
<v Speaker 2>just when you don't have the whole yeah picture as

0:24:59.359 --> 0:25:01.800
<v Speaker 2>I didn't. I need to know how you smell. But

0:25:01.880 --> 0:25:05.320
<v Speaker 2>I love the ext like I can't.

0:25:05.600 --> 0:25:08.720
<v Speaker 1>I am, I don't I need a I need a

0:25:08.800 --> 0:25:11.560
<v Speaker 1>smell like I I literally right now would go smell

0:25:11.680 --> 0:25:15.040
<v Speaker 1>Preston's face. Yeah, sounds creepy, don't care like it's He's

0:25:15.119 --> 0:25:19.879
<v Speaker 1>just like yummy to me. I love the intellectual piece

0:25:19.920 --> 0:25:23.679
<v Speaker 1>of meeting someone building a good building a good trust

0:25:23.720 --> 0:25:25.480
<v Speaker 1>in relationship and rapport.

0:25:25.160 --> 0:25:28.520
<v Speaker 2>Before the meeting. That was cool because then it felt

0:25:28.560 --> 0:25:29.720
<v Speaker 2>even more connected.

0:25:30.520 --> 0:25:32.639
<v Speaker 1>Yeah. And then when he turned around that's and I

0:25:32.680 --> 0:25:36.080
<v Speaker 1>was like, oh, let me have your baby. I'm done.

0:25:36.520 --> 0:25:41.240
<v Speaker 1>We'll be pregnant soon. It will be done, will be done. Yeah,

0:25:41.240 --> 0:25:44.560
<v Speaker 1>it's weird like that. The proposal piece on love is blind.

0:25:44.600 --> 0:25:48.040
<v Speaker 1>They don't get to see. They don't propose in person either,

0:25:48.560 --> 0:25:51.440
<v Speaker 1>so that is always fascinating to me. Like they get

0:25:51.440 --> 0:25:52.720
<v Speaker 1>down on one knee.

0:25:52.680 --> 0:25:55.760
<v Speaker 2>Which is interesting though because so they're like down one

0:25:55.800 --> 0:25:58.240
<v Speaker 2>knee at the frosted glass. Yeah, so that piece is

0:25:58.320 --> 0:26:02.280
<v Speaker 2>very interesting. But also because he picks Zach, this is

0:26:02.520 --> 0:26:06.520
<v Speaker 2>this is what's even more interesting. Zach picks Irena first,

0:26:06.760 --> 0:26:10.480
<v Speaker 2>and Mary's and h right, but he sees Bliss. So

0:26:10.560 --> 0:26:13.200
<v Speaker 2>I'm wondering because you know, he didn't he didn't marry

0:26:13.200 --> 0:26:16.320
<v Speaker 2>He marries Bliss, but he picked Irena. They go off,

0:26:16.480 --> 0:26:18.639
<v Speaker 2>Oh that's right, before they get married, they go on

0:26:18.680 --> 0:26:22.520
<v Speaker 2>a trip. Yeah okay, yeah, yeah, crap, hits the fan, Yeah, Mexico,

0:26:22.720 --> 0:26:25.720
<v Speaker 2>in Mexico. But I'm wondering if he's if he thought

0:26:25.760 --> 0:26:28.119
<v Speaker 2>when he saw Bliss. I just want to know what

0:26:28.200 --> 0:26:32.000
<v Speaker 2>made him pick Irena then over Bliss, and then how

0:26:32.119 --> 0:26:35.000
<v Speaker 2>them meeting up to actually see each other, what that

0:26:35.080 --> 0:26:38.920
<v Speaker 2>moment was. I remember watching a couple seasons where there

0:26:38.960 --> 0:26:41.600
<v Speaker 2>was people that I thought like, I could not I'm

0:26:41.600 --> 0:26:43.679
<v Speaker 2>not a reality TV fan. I mean I say that

0:26:43.720 --> 0:26:45.600
<v Speaker 2>all the time, right I got I went all in

0:26:46.160 --> 0:26:48.359
<v Speaker 2>I love is blind because I was so fascinated, like,

0:26:48.560 --> 0:26:50.679
<v Speaker 2>can you really truly make a connection with someone you

0:26:50.760 --> 0:26:53.480
<v Speaker 2>don't you can't smell their face like a creep.

0:26:54.040 --> 0:26:56.560
<v Speaker 1>I don't think I could do it. I know I

0:26:56.600 --> 0:26:59.720
<v Speaker 1>couldn't because it does matter to me, it does. I

0:26:59.760 --> 0:27:02.120
<v Speaker 1>need that if you're really funny, you have a chance.

0:27:02.200 --> 0:27:05.960
<v Speaker 2>I will say this though, no matter how handsome sexy

0:27:06.000 --> 0:27:09.040
<v Speaker 2>someone is, because I've I mean, Alan to me is

0:27:09.080 --> 0:27:11.160
<v Speaker 2>the most sexiest man I've ever been with. I think

0:27:11.200 --> 0:27:14.200
<v Speaker 2>he's so incredibly handsome. Also to Mike part of me.

0:27:14.400 --> 0:27:15.440
<v Speaker 2>He's also that to Mike.

0:27:15.480 --> 0:27:15.840
<v Speaker 3>Oh yeah.

0:27:18.240 --> 0:27:19.920
<v Speaker 2>We were at the pumpkin patch a couple of weeks

0:27:19.920 --> 0:27:22.320
<v Speaker 2>ago and I was like, I got to go to

0:27:22.320 --> 0:27:24.600
<v Speaker 2>the bathroom. He's like, Mike said, it's fine, the two

0:27:24.680 --> 0:27:26.840
<v Speaker 2>dads will just be here, and I said, please don't

0:27:26.840 --> 0:27:28.960
<v Speaker 2>hold his hand because I know you want to. You

0:27:28.960 --> 0:27:31.560
<v Speaker 2>guys are getting weird, Like Mike, I know you want

0:27:31.600 --> 0:27:34.359
<v Speaker 2>to hold his hand. But yeah, Alan is like extremely handy.

0:27:34.359 --> 0:27:39.280
<v Speaker 2>He's so handsome. But if he had a because you know,

0:27:39.280 --> 0:27:41.560
<v Speaker 2>we've all dated some good looking dudes, of course, he's

0:27:41.720 --> 0:27:44.760
<v Speaker 2>again the most handsome man I've ever dated. But remember

0:27:44.800 --> 0:27:48.520
<v Speaker 2>dating you know, people that are good looking, and if

0:27:48.560 --> 0:27:53.119
<v Speaker 2>they don't if one was not very respectful to other people,

0:27:53.440 --> 0:27:57.440
<v Speaker 2>if a little conceited, X Y and Z, if there's

0:27:57.480 --> 0:28:02.240
<v Speaker 2>also not that chemistry or a conversation, I don't care

0:28:02.280 --> 0:28:05.000
<v Speaker 2>how good looking you are. So that's the piece of

0:28:05.040 --> 0:28:07.320
<v Speaker 2>love of mind I could do. But I also need

0:28:07.359 --> 0:28:12.159
<v Speaker 2>the other piece. Yeah, I need I need you to

0:28:12.200 --> 0:28:14.840
<v Speaker 2>be funny. Yeah, and I need you to not be

0:28:14.920 --> 0:28:18.760
<v Speaker 2>stinky and so I can get your humor through the

0:28:18.760 --> 0:28:21.720
<v Speaker 2>frosted glass or whatever. But if you I just can't

0:28:21.920 --> 0:28:25.320
<v Speaker 2>do that. Your first question would be, so, what kind

0:28:25.359 --> 0:28:27.560
<v Speaker 2>of cologne do and how often do you shower?

0:28:27.760 --> 0:28:29.600
<v Speaker 1>Yeah? I need like a good hygiene moment.

0:28:30.040 --> 0:28:32.399
<v Speaker 2>Okay, So Zach and Bliss are here, Let's figure it

0:28:32.440 --> 0:28:34.639
<v Speaker 2>out and see if they had any issues about what

0:28:34.760 --> 0:28:37.600
<v Speaker 2>the scent might be. Which, let me tell you a

0:28:37.680 --> 0:28:41.360
<v Speaker 2>cent when you're pregnant something it matters. I'm like, I like,

0:28:41.880 --> 0:28:46.480
<v Speaker 2>I made Alan throw away his car. You have paid

0:28:46.600 --> 0:28:48.600
<v Speaker 2>so many things. I haven't been able to wear perfume.

0:28:49.000 --> 0:28:53.320
<v Speaker 2>I know, I stink. That's I write a car thing

0:28:53.520 --> 0:28:56.160
<v Speaker 2>in the in the car, I said, Babe, I cannot

0:28:56.240 --> 0:28:57.840
<v Speaker 2>ride in your car if this stays in here because

0:28:57.840 --> 0:28:58.560
<v Speaker 2>I'm going to vomit.

0:28:58.640 --> 0:29:01.960
<v Speaker 1>Doul Changabana light blue, the women's version, vomit. I can't

0:29:01.960 --> 0:29:04.640
<v Speaker 1>do any of it. Nope, I feel bad.

0:29:05.120 --> 0:29:07.680
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, I even there was something else I said bybe

0:29:07.720 --> 0:29:10.200
<v Speaker 2>I can't with a scent smell of bacon. There was

0:29:10.240 --> 0:29:14.600
<v Speaker 2>just like bulldog wash that he would wash with bulldog normally.

0:29:14.680 --> 0:29:19.880
<v Speaker 1>I ithing, but every time I'm like, did he smell

0:29:19.880 --> 0:29:21.400
<v Speaker 1>like you need to discarf around his neck in a

0:29:21.400 --> 0:29:28.680
<v Speaker 1>little tag or hey guy, we just went off on

0:29:28.720 --> 0:29:30.120
<v Speaker 1>a terrible tangent. So thank you.

0:29:30.120 --> 0:29:34.640
<v Speaker 2>You actually saved us from myself because we were talking

0:29:34.640 --> 0:29:39.120
<v Speaker 2>about sense and how scent is very important, and she

0:29:39.280 --> 0:29:40.960
<v Speaker 2>was saying, with love is blind, She's like, you can't

0:29:41.000 --> 0:29:43.000
<v Speaker 2>smell him. How do you know that they smelled it?

0:29:43.080 --> 0:29:46.440
<v Speaker 2>Like what if they stink? You should have thought about that, bliss.

0:29:46.840 --> 0:29:49.760
<v Speaker 3>Yeah I did. I was like, the pheromones are so important,

0:29:49.800 --> 0:29:52.480
<v Speaker 3>Like you know what, it doesn't matter. A sense just

0:29:52.560 --> 0:29:54.920
<v Speaker 3>kind of off and it's like you can't quite place it,

0:29:54.960 --> 0:29:57.560
<v Speaker 3>but it's just that person's scent and it matters a lot.

0:29:57.640 --> 0:29:58.600
<v Speaker 3>Thank goodness, he smelled.

0:29:58.600 --> 0:30:03.040
<v Speaker 2>Okay, okay, so we just need to I want to

0:30:03.040 --> 0:30:06.280
<v Speaker 2>break down a few things because obviously you guys, are

0:30:06.320 --> 0:30:07.720
<v Speaker 2>you been married for a year now.

0:30:09.000 --> 0:30:10.480
<v Speaker 3>Almost a year and a half and a couple of

0:30:10.560 --> 0:30:14.280
<v Speaker 3>days a year and a half, Yeah, congrats, thank you.

0:30:14.960 --> 0:30:18.360
<v Speaker 2>Obviously want to talk about that, but we like to

0:30:18.400 --> 0:30:20.080
<v Speaker 2>talk about the past here on wind Up.

0:30:21.120 --> 0:30:23.360
<v Speaker 1>Sometimes welcome to our hot tub time machine.

0:30:23.440 --> 0:30:28.400
<v Speaker 2>Sometimes too much, but I the whole because I was

0:30:28.440 --> 0:30:31.520
<v Speaker 2>fascinated when I remember what was his name was on

0:30:31.600 --> 0:30:36.480
<v Speaker 2>the Bachelor and he picked someone else, and then I've

0:30:36.520 --> 0:30:38.400
<v Speaker 2>made think that happened a couple of times. It was

0:30:38.440 --> 0:30:40.800
<v Speaker 2>a while ago, like when I really really watched it,

0:30:40.880 --> 0:30:44.520
<v Speaker 2>was he ended up picking someone and then he realized

0:30:44.520 --> 0:30:46.400
<v Speaker 2>that he made a mistake and he went to the

0:30:46.400 --> 0:30:51.680
<v Speaker 2>other girl, and so Jason Mesnik, thank you, Hannah, and

0:30:51.760 --> 0:30:53.760
<v Speaker 2>so I just remember that season really sticking out to me.

0:30:53.800 --> 0:30:57.560
<v Speaker 2>And obviously they've been married now forever and they're the cutest.

0:30:58.440 --> 0:31:03.400
<v Speaker 2>But for you, Zach, when you picked the other girl,

0:31:04.120 --> 0:31:06.520
<v Speaker 2>was there a piece of you that knew right then

0:31:06.560 --> 0:31:09.080
<v Speaker 2>that you were making a mistake or was it he

0:31:09.160 --> 0:31:09.880
<v Speaker 2>drinks his water?

0:31:13.080 --> 0:31:14.040
<v Speaker 3>Is it water, Zach?

0:31:14.360 --> 0:31:17.120
<v Speaker 1>What are you up to over there? Buddy, Zach? He's

0:31:17.120 --> 0:31:18.280
<v Speaker 1>a little helper in a cup.

0:31:21.480 --> 0:31:24.760
<v Speaker 4>So to answer your question, I think the phrasing is

0:31:24.800 --> 0:31:28.200
<v Speaker 4>really important there because this is something I've talked quite

0:31:28.240 --> 0:31:30.880
<v Speaker 4>a bit about, you know, at nauseum, but I.

0:31:30.840 --> 0:31:33.239
<v Speaker 1>Know I had a feeling, but not on wind and

0:31:33.240 --> 0:31:33.760
<v Speaker 1>we need.

0:31:33.640 --> 0:31:39.480
<v Speaker 3>To know, Yeah, they should have it down then your answer, right.

0:31:38.480 --> 0:31:44.280
<v Speaker 4>Yeah, thanks. Maybe I think there's a misconception that happens

0:31:44.280 --> 0:31:47.640
<v Speaker 4>when you're looking at a scenario like that, Right, you

0:31:47.720 --> 0:31:51.400
<v Speaker 4>make an assumption that someone's making their decision based on

0:31:52.600 --> 0:31:56.040
<v Speaker 4>rational benefit, Right, that it's a that's a decision based

0:31:56.080 --> 0:31:59.320
<v Speaker 4>on like Okay, we're this is the best thing for me.

0:31:59.480 --> 0:32:03.280
<v Speaker 4>I'm going to go with this. But people usually don't

0:32:03.880 --> 0:32:08.840
<v Speaker 4>think about fear and the way that that affects decision making.

0:32:10.040 --> 0:32:15.280
<v Speaker 4>And so in that situation, it was never a situation

0:32:15.400 --> 0:32:19.440
<v Speaker 4>where it was like a comparison. And I think that

0:32:19.440 --> 0:32:24.640
<v Speaker 4>that is the the component. Like they were too fundamentally

0:32:24.720 --> 0:32:32.400
<v Speaker 4>different people, right, And I certainly had stronger feelings for Bliss,

0:32:32.440 --> 0:32:36.360
<v Speaker 4>and maybe I wasn't even fully aware of that, but

0:32:36.520 --> 0:32:42.000
<v Speaker 4>because of that, I was afraid of what would happen

0:32:42.880 --> 0:32:46.840
<v Speaker 4>if it didn't work, and there were a lot more

0:32:47.440 --> 0:32:50.400
<v Speaker 4>well if we got engaged in it didn't work?

0:32:51.240 --> 0:32:54.080
<v Speaker 2>Right, Like that was a was you and Bliss so like?

0:32:54.280 --> 0:32:57.480
<v Speaker 2>So you thought that you had it a little less?

0:32:59.040 --> 0:33:04.000
<v Speaker 2>What's the like you had a better math, I guess

0:33:04.040 --> 0:33:06.880
<v Speaker 2>with the other girl, like.

0:33:08.600 --> 0:33:09.480
<v Speaker 1>Our brains.

0:33:10.440 --> 0:33:14.360
<v Speaker 4>Yeah, Like I said, I don't know if I would

0:33:14.440 --> 0:33:17.400
<v Speaker 4>use the word better right when when I when I

0:33:17.480 --> 0:33:20.920
<v Speaker 4>look at what was going on in my mind, Bliss

0:33:20.960 --> 0:33:22.800
<v Speaker 4>and I had had and you can't you don't get

0:33:22.800 --> 0:33:25.760
<v Speaker 4>to see all the conversations, right, But Bliss and I

0:33:25.760 --> 0:33:28.320
<v Speaker 4>had talked about some pretty big obstacles that we were

0:33:28.320 --> 0:33:32.200
<v Speaker 4>going to have to overcome if we got engaged. And

0:33:32.560 --> 0:33:37.560
<v Speaker 4>one of those being my allergies, which is a big deal.

0:33:37.600 --> 0:33:39.920
<v Speaker 4>You don't You don't really see very much of that conversation,

0:33:40.040 --> 0:33:45.400
<v Speaker 4>but I was diagnosed with allergy and dustasma. And Bliss

0:33:45.400 --> 0:33:53.400
<v Speaker 4>has a well we have an adorable question, well done,

0:33:53.960 --> 0:33:55.240
<v Speaker 4>and a beautiful little kitten.

0:33:55.720 --> 0:33:59.040
<v Speaker 1>You have a now stuffed cat. We have a cat

0:33:59.080 --> 0:34:01.800
<v Speaker 1>that lives remotely at Bliss's mom's house.

0:34:03.560 --> 0:34:06.680
<v Speaker 4>Yeah. The first time, the first time I came to

0:34:06.720 --> 0:34:10.359
<v Speaker 4>Bliss's house, I had a huge allergy attack. So this

0:34:10.400 --> 0:34:15.000
<v Speaker 4>is something we discussed in the pods. And Bliss's response

0:34:15.120 --> 0:34:16.360
<v Speaker 4>is not the best.

0:34:16.520 --> 0:34:19.680
<v Speaker 3>Yeah, I reacted. They're like my babies, my animals, So

0:34:19.719 --> 0:34:23.160
<v Speaker 3>I reacted pretty poorly to him telling me he had allergies.

0:34:23.160 --> 0:34:24.799
<v Speaker 3>But I think, if I may, Babe, I think what

0:34:24.840 --> 0:34:26.840
<v Speaker 3>you're trying to say is that I don't want to

0:34:26.840 --> 0:34:29.480
<v Speaker 3>put words in your mouth to correct me that you

0:34:30.440 --> 0:34:35.840
<v Speaker 3>there was a greater risk of invested feelings being hurt

0:34:36.480 --> 0:34:39.920
<v Speaker 3>if he went with me. There was less risk to

0:34:40.000 --> 0:34:46.239
<v Speaker 3>go with her because it didn't work out. Yeah, sure,

0:34:46.640 --> 0:34:49.120
<v Speaker 3>maybe it wouldn't have It wouldn't have been as harmful

0:34:49.200 --> 0:34:51.920
<v Speaker 3>or as impactful. I don't know. You let me know

0:34:52.000 --> 0:34:53.919
<v Speaker 3>if that's like what you're thinking what you were.

0:34:53.800 --> 0:34:57.400
<v Speaker 4>Doing that that's one way to describe it. I think

0:34:58.040 --> 0:35:02.400
<v Speaker 4>that when when I was going through this, it's really hard.

0:35:03.160 --> 0:35:06.840
<v Speaker 1>Guys, I just want to say, I cannot imagine doing

0:35:06.880 --> 0:35:10.640
<v Speaker 1>what you did, so like, and you don't only just

0:35:10.760 --> 0:35:14.640
<v Speaker 1>do that. It goes like it's national TV, and now

0:35:14.640 --> 0:35:17.759
<v Speaker 1>that we have Netflix, it's like we can rewatch you

0:35:18.320 --> 0:35:22.120
<v Speaker 1>a gazillion times and the judgment that comes with it.

0:35:22.200 --> 0:35:24.759
<v Speaker 1>So like, I just hats off to both of you

0:35:24.840 --> 0:35:29.560
<v Speaker 1>that you can even pod up and even participate in

0:35:29.600 --> 0:35:32.440
<v Speaker 1>this project, because this is like, this is life and

0:35:32.480 --> 0:35:34.359
<v Speaker 1>it's love and it's learning a person. But you don't

0:35:34.360 --> 0:35:38.000
<v Speaker 1>even get to see bliss. You're you're so pretty. I

0:35:38.040 --> 0:35:42.960
<v Speaker 1>mean obviously we pick bliss over everything, but you're not.

0:35:43.440 --> 0:35:47.640
<v Speaker 1>You're not dealing with like real life, yeah in this,

0:35:48.080 --> 0:35:50.719
<v Speaker 1>so for you to pick one over the other, like,

0:35:51.000 --> 0:35:53.600
<v Speaker 1>just know we're we're in We're in team love is

0:35:53.640 --> 0:35:56.080
<v Speaker 1>blind over here and we're not judging New Zac, but

0:35:56.120 --> 0:35:59.919
<v Speaker 1>we do need we like a little dirt, no worry.

0:36:00.040 --> 0:36:02.200
<v Speaker 3>I like to sometimes just bring it up, keep them

0:36:02.200 --> 0:36:06.040
<v Speaker 3>on his toe. Yeah, I totally get it.

0:36:06.080 --> 0:36:09.680
<v Speaker 2>Was it hard though, getting the because obviously when you

0:36:09.719 --> 0:36:11.880
<v Speaker 2>went on that trip, you go, Okay, this is not

0:36:12.080 --> 0:36:15.800
<v Speaker 2>my person, and hats off to you for not staying

0:36:15.840 --> 0:36:18.920
<v Speaker 2>in something because I can imagine when you go on

0:36:18.960 --> 0:36:22.440
<v Speaker 2>a show like this, people I think stay together because

0:36:22.440 --> 0:36:27.000
<v Speaker 2>that's what other people want. And so you realizing that, Okay,

0:36:27.000 --> 0:36:29.680
<v Speaker 2>this isn't going to work, and then you reach back

0:36:29.680 --> 0:36:31.279
<v Speaker 2>out to Bliss and then hearing things that I guess

0:36:31.360 --> 0:36:33.560
<v Speaker 2>she wasn't nice on the reunion which I didn't see that,

0:36:34.320 --> 0:36:37.440
<v Speaker 2>or you know, sending you mean things Bliss, It's like,

0:36:37.480 --> 0:36:39.520
<v Speaker 2>how do you then kind of walk that rope because

0:36:39.520 --> 0:36:42.480
<v Speaker 2>obviously there's hurt feelings and they're going to project it.

0:36:42.640 --> 0:36:44.040
<v Speaker 2>So then what do you do with that projection?

0:36:45.400 --> 0:36:48.960
<v Speaker 4>Yeah, so I just to kind of wrap back to the

0:36:49.040 --> 0:36:52.200
<v Speaker 4>last question and try to sustinctly answer that question, and

0:36:52.239 --> 0:37:01.920
<v Speaker 4>then I ultimately the experiment creates these connections right pretty rapidly,

0:37:02.640 --> 0:37:08.960
<v Speaker 4>and you're you're put into this position where sometimes even

0:37:09.040 --> 0:37:11.800
<v Speaker 4>unbeknownst to you, you will develop feelings for multiple people

0:37:13.080 --> 0:37:17.520
<v Speaker 4>and you those can be different types of connections, if

0:37:17.600 --> 0:37:23.399
<v Speaker 4>that makes sense, And I think it was when we

0:37:24.760 --> 0:37:30.920
<v Speaker 4>when we were in the pods. Ultimately, with Bliss, I

0:37:30.960 --> 0:37:34.080
<v Speaker 4>was just afraid of all the obstacles, and I was

0:37:34.120 --> 0:37:36.759
<v Speaker 4>afraid that it just wouldn't work, and that was why

0:37:36.800 --> 0:37:38.759
<v Speaker 4>I ended up not going with Bliss. But it was

0:37:38.800 --> 0:37:42.600
<v Speaker 4>never it was never like in the Pods. It was

0:37:42.680 --> 0:37:49.680
<v Speaker 4>never a situation where it was like a, well this

0:37:49.760 --> 0:37:54.080
<v Speaker 4>is this is one you know looking at Uh. It

0:37:54.120 --> 0:37:56.560
<v Speaker 4>wasn't a comparison. I guess that's just I think a

0:37:56.560 --> 0:37:59.400
<v Speaker 4>lot of people when lot in within the question, it's

0:37:59.560 --> 0:38:02.799
<v Speaker 4>usually is a comparison like, oh, why would you do

0:38:02.880 --> 0:38:06.040
<v Speaker 4>this over this? And it's it's it's more complicated that.

0:38:06.120 --> 0:38:11.400
<v Speaker 4>But when when I did make that decision, my body

0:38:11.600 --> 0:38:15.520
<v Speaker 4>and my my subconscious was certainly telling me that I

0:38:15.560 --> 0:38:19.160
<v Speaker 4>had I had made a mistake that the logical mind

0:38:20.200 --> 0:38:24.160
<v Speaker 4>didn't quite perceive in the moment, and I could feel

0:38:24.200 --> 0:38:28.480
<v Speaker 4>that immediately after Blisten, I ended our relationship in the

0:38:28.480 --> 0:38:34.360
<v Speaker 4>Pods as far as Mexico goes, and kind of everything

0:38:34.360 --> 0:38:41.000
<v Speaker 4>that had happened. I it took me kind of a

0:38:41.040 --> 0:38:44.680
<v Speaker 4>while to to kind of get over what had happened,

0:38:44.719 --> 0:38:49.840
<v Speaker 4>because it was it was just a lot of it

0:38:49.880 --> 0:38:53.720
<v Speaker 4>is a lot to go through, right like, everything that happened.

0:38:54.000 --> 0:38:55.560
<v Speaker 4>But I also don't want to I don't really want

0:38:55.560 --> 0:38:57.279
<v Speaker 4>to rehash all of that.

0:38:57.680 --> 0:38:59.440
<v Speaker 2>Oh, we don't need to rehash that. It's more just

0:39:00.000 --> 0:39:03.320
<v Speaker 2>when it all comes back and people are being projecting

0:39:03.320 --> 0:39:05.480
<v Speaker 2>their stuff, it's like, how do you kind of go, Okay,

0:39:05.880 --> 0:39:08.520
<v Speaker 2>I have to boundary up and not let that into

0:39:08.640 --> 0:39:11.799
<v Speaker 2>our now new relationship Bliss and Zach.

0:39:12.120 --> 0:39:16.160
<v Speaker 1>You know, for me, I.

0:39:17.719 --> 0:39:20.080
<v Speaker 3>Was really grateful that from filming to the time where

0:39:20.080 --> 0:39:22.279
<v Speaker 3>it was actually released there was a significant amount of time.

0:39:22.280 --> 0:39:24.960
<v Speaker 3>It was almost a year, so you're really able to

0:39:25.040 --> 0:39:28.520
<v Speaker 3>like form our foundation and our marriage and work through

0:39:28.640 --> 0:39:32.680
<v Speaker 3>any questions. And we had just like discussed everything really

0:39:32.680 --> 0:39:35.959
<v Speaker 3>really deeply. And I've always kind of been the type

0:39:35.960 --> 0:39:39.080
<v Speaker 3>of person that's able to put my walls up and

0:39:39.160 --> 0:39:41.879
<v Speaker 3>kind of ignore the masses or opinions. And I think

0:39:41.920 --> 0:39:43.359
<v Speaker 3>a lot of it has to do with how I

0:39:43.400 --> 0:39:45.200
<v Speaker 3>was raised, and I was really lucky to have that

0:39:45.520 --> 0:39:48.960
<v Speaker 3>kind of mindset going into all of this. It still

0:39:49.040 --> 0:39:52.440
<v Speaker 3>is always like hurtful to hear people speak negatively about

0:39:52.440 --> 0:39:55.320
<v Speaker 3>your relationship or you know, I got tons of messages

0:39:55.320 --> 0:39:58.279
<v Speaker 3>about being second choice and all of these things, and

0:39:58.640 --> 0:40:01.319
<v Speaker 3>you deserve better, and it's it. Honestly, that's just not

0:40:01.400 --> 0:40:05.000
<v Speaker 3>how I perceived it. Because there was other relationships that

0:40:05.040 --> 0:40:07.520
<v Speaker 3>I had in the pods too, right where you're forming

0:40:07.520 --> 0:40:09.560
<v Speaker 3>these relations at the same time, it's it's not about

0:40:09.560 --> 0:40:12.000
<v Speaker 3>being second choice. So he just never made me feel

0:40:12.000 --> 0:40:15.160
<v Speaker 3>that way. I think that's why I was so calmly

0:40:15.200 --> 0:40:18.440
<v Speaker 3>able to react when we did end things. You know,

0:40:18.520 --> 0:40:20.840
<v Speaker 3>I was very like I respected him as a person,

0:40:21.719 --> 0:40:25.840
<v Speaker 3>I wanted him to be happy. But I just think

0:40:26.000 --> 0:40:28.560
<v Speaker 3>I think it's just so it's just you can't live

0:40:28.560 --> 0:40:31.480
<v Speaker 3>your life that way, like listening to what other people say,

0:40:31.800 --> 0:40:33.560
<v Speaker 3>and a lot of the times you're right, it's about

0:40:33.560 --> 0:40:36.759
<v Speaker 3>projecting like people are like I was in that situation,

0:40:36.880 --> 0:40:39.959
<v Speaker 3>or someone chose over me and they're angry at you

0:40:40.200 --> 0:40:42.439
<v Speaker 3>or at Zach or that's the situation because they're hurt

0:40:42.480 --> 0:40:45.200
<v Speaker 3>with their own feelings. And any messages that I ever

0:40:45.239 --> 0:40:48.640
<v Speaker 3>did respond to around that topic, I actually said those

0:40:48.640 --> 0:40:51.080
<v Speaker 3>things like I hope that you heal from your trauma

0:40:51.160 --> 0:40:52.359
<v Speaker 3>or whatever happened to you.

0:40:52.719 --> 0:40:54.799
<v Speaker 2>And that's awesome that we're talking about the top of

0:40:54.800 --> 0:40:56.440
<v Speaker 2>our show too, where it's just people are going to

0:40:56.480 --> 0:40:59.480
<v Speaker 2>project their own their own true feelings and they don't

0:40:59.520 --> 0:41:01.960
<v Speaker 2>really get to chance to understand y'all's relationship or you

0:41:02.040 --> 0:41:04.280
<v Speaker 2>as a person exactly.

0:41:04.600 --> 0:41:06.520
<v Speaker 3>But again, really grateful for that time. I think I

0:41:07.000 --> 0:41:09.080
<v Speaker 3>really love that about Love is Blind. I don't think

0:41:09.120 --> 0:41:12.120
<v Speaker 3>that the Bachelor has as much time in between the

0:41:12.160 --> 0:41:14.640
<v Speaker 3>filming and the actual release, and I think that's why

0:41:14.680 --> 0:41:18.000
<v Speaker 3>maybe there's a lot of like failure or not not failure,

0:41:18.040 --> 0:41:21.600
<v Speaker 3>people breaking up in that you know, in that what's.

0:41:21.440 --> 0:41:23.200
<v Speaker 4>It called timeline window?

0:41:23.680 --> 0:41:25.760
<v Speaker 3>Yeah, timeline, yes, mad mad.

0:41:28.520 --> 0:41:29.600
<v Speaker 1>Math is the default term.

0:41:30.040 --> 0:41:33.080
<v Speaker 2>So you okay when you guys got back together, though,

0:41:33.280 --> 0:41:36.440
<v Speaker 2>I'm curious because it wasn't on technically like the show

0:41:36.680 --> 0:41:40.000
<v Speaker 2>timeline or the show contract, So what made you then

0:41:40.719 --> 0:41:45.080
<v Speaker 2>want to expedite the getting married proposal? And listen, I

0:41:45.120 --> 0:41:47.000
<v Speaker 2>can't talk. I got engaged with in six months. So

0:41:47.320 --> 0:41:48.960
<v Speaker 2>I'm the person that's like, when you know, you know,

0:41:49.640 --> 0:41:52.560
<v Speaker 2>and we're all at the age where we know when

0:41:52.600 --> 0:41:56.080
<v Speaker 2>we know, and so I've and that's the narrative that

0:41:57.040 --> 0:41:59.200
<v Speaker 2>you know. Even my podcast producer when I told him

0:41:59.200 --> 0:42:00.920
<v Speaker 2>I was engaged, he's like, oh my god, like you

0:42:01.000 --> 0:42:03.600
<v Speaker 2>only know. I'm like, okay, but that's my decision. My

0:42:03.680 --> 0:42:07.000
<v Speaker 2>choice is my timeline, our timeline. And it might not

0:42:07.040 --> 0:42:09.800
<v Speaker 2>make sense to America that we got engaged this fast

0:42:10.280 --> 0:42:14.040
<v Speaker 2>and having a baby and everything else. But it's our timeline,

0:42:14.080 --> 0:42:16.080
<v Speaker 2>and it's I don't I personally don't think you have

0:42:16.120 --> 0:42:19.319
<v Speaker 2>to be with someone for years in years to then

0:42:21.040 --> 0:42:23.520
<v Speaker 2>that's you know, people think like, oh, you have to

0:42:23.560 --> 0:42:25.000
<v Speaker 2>do this person for these many years, then you can

0:42:25.080 --> 0:42:27.759
<v Speaker 2>engage and then this and it's like okay, but that

0:42:27.840 --> 0:42:29.799
<v Speaker 2>might not. But then you can also break up a

0:42:29.840 --> 0:42:32.080
<v Speaker 2>year later. And some people that I know have been together,

0:42:32.640 --> 0:42:34.960
<v Speaker 2>you know, got engaged in three months and they've been

0:42:34.960 --> 0:42:38.040
<v Speaker 2>together for twenty years. So what's your kind of stance

0:42:38.080 --> 0:42:38.400
<v Speaker 2>on all that.

0:42:40.239 --> 0:42:42.239
<v Speaker 3>I'll go really quick. I might contend to be a

0:42:42.280 --> 0:42:44.480
<v Speaker 3>little bit more sustinct than Zach and still let's give

0:42:44.520 --> 0:42:47.600
<v Speaker 3>more time. But I, for me, I'm a very spiritual

0:42:47.640 --> 0:42:53.040
<v Speaker 3>person and I truly feel like from our dates in

0:42:53.080 --> 0:42:54.880
<v Speaker 3>the pod, like I knew that he was my person,

0:42:55.400 --> 0:42:57.240
<v Speaker 3>Like it was just kind of like this deep knowing

0:42:57.280 --> 0:43:00.520
<v Speaker 3>in my bones, like I'd never experienced anything that before.

0:43:00.560 --> 0:43:02.719
<v Speaker 3>I thought maybe I'd experienced that before, but when I

0:43:02.760 --> 0:43:06.640
<v Speaker 3>actually did, I it was just like something I've never

0:43:07.040 --> 0:43:09.759
<v Speaker 3>experienced in my life and I just knew it. And

0:43:09.840 --> 0:43:12.920
<v Speaker 3>I was like, why I've been looking for it in

0:43:12.960 --> 0:43:15.680
<v Speaker 3>my whole life, Like why do I need to waste

0:43:15.880 --> 0:43:18.600
<v Speaker 3>time right, and it just felt right for us. It

0:43:18.680 --> 0:43:21.759
<v Speaker 3>kind of felt like it always was just supposed to

0:43:21.800 --> 0:43:25.400
<v Speaker 3>be us and it was just correcting the path. And

0:43:25.440 --> 0:43:28.120
<v Speaker 3>so it didn't feel that weird to me to get

0:43:28.160 --> 0:43:30.799
<v Speaker 3>engaged and to go proceed with the wedding and just

0:43:30.800 --> 0:43:33.120
<v Speaker 3>felt like that was just how it was supposed to be.

0:43:33.880 --> 0:43:35.959
<v Speaker 1>We're a couple of path correctors here on this couch

0:43:36.000 --> 0:43:39.640
<v Speaker 1>as well. Sure we were not blindly dating in pods

0:43:39.640 --> 0:43:44.359
<v Speaker 1>and accidentally picked the wrong person a couple time.

0:43:44.440 --> 0:43:47.279
<v Speaker 3>That's fine, it happens, but.

0:43:47.280 --> 0:43:49.319
<v Speaker 1>It is crazy. It is when you know you know,

0:43:49.560 --> 0:43:52.400
<v Speaker 1>I mean, that is something I never experienced until I

0:43:52.560 --> 0:43:57.480
<v Speaker 1>met my husband current husband. Yeah, and you don't, it doesn't.

0:43:57.560 --> 0:44:00.560
<v Speaker 1>It's it is a really cool knowing to just be

0:44:00.719 --> 0:44:02.319
<v Speaker 1>like I mean, Janea and I just talked about this

0:44:02.520 --> 0:44:06.200
<v Speaker 1>yesterday or this week off the podcast, but I was like,

0:44:06.280 --> 0:44:08.840
<v Speaker 1>I he is my person. She was like, he really

0:44:08.960 --> 0:44:10.680
<v Speaker 1>is your person? And I said, I know. It's like

0:44:10.760 --> 0:44:14.719
<v Speaker 1>I can't describe why he is, but he will always be.

0:44:15.640 --> 0:44:20.000
<v Speaker 1>And when you know, you know, so you fly. So

0:44:20.160 --> 0:44:23.920
<v Speaker 1>for people that didn't watch this, you and Irena go

0:44:24.000 --> 0:44:30.520
<v Speaker 1>to Mexico. It's a disaster, is the show? Part of

0:44:30.640 --> 0:44:33.319
<v Speaker 1>you flying to Seattle or do you go. I've got

0:44:33.360 --> 0:44:36.640
<v Speaker 1>to get to this girl producers give me her address.

0:44:38.080 --> 0:44:40.480
<v Speaker 4>So it was a it was kind of a complicated

0:44:40.560 --> 0:44:46.760
<v Speaker 4>situation the way it all went down. When I guess

0:44:48.400 --> 0:44:51.840
<v Speaker 4>when I got back, I was like devastated right after

0:44:51.880 --> 0:44:55.439
<v Speaker 4>everything that I like, everything that I went through. It

0:44:55.520 --> 0:45:02.040
<v Speaker 4>was it was a lot because I think initially when

0:45:02.080 --> 0:45:05.960
<v Speaker 4>I broke up with Bliss and the Pods, I was

0:45:06.120 --> 0:45:09.600
<v Speaker 4>really really messed up, like really messed up, and it

0:45:09.719 --> 0:45:11.839
<v Speaker 4>took me a while to kind of get over it.

0:45:12.680 --> 0:45:15.160
<v Speaker 4>And like you can kind of see, there was I

0:45:15.160 --> 0:45:17.000
<v Speaker 4>remember when we get interviewed in the podse and I

0:45:17.000 --> 0:45:20.520
<v Speaker 4>remember one of our producers asked me a question. He's like,

0:45:20.560 --> 0:45:24.440
<v Speaker 4>you don't look like you're ready to to propose, and

0:45:24.640 --> 0:45:27.640
<v Speaker 4>I was just like, you know, I'm just dealing with

0:45:27.640 --> 0:45:32.400
<v Speaker 4>with the like what had happened, and I I I was,

0:45:32.680 --> 0:45:34.880
<v Speaker 4>you know. And then so I kind of got myself

0:45:34.920 --> 0:45:37.640
<v Speaker 4>where I was like, Okay, we're gonna move on. You know,

0:45:37.760 --> 0:45:39.640
<v Speaker 4>you made a mistake. You're going to live with it,

0:45:39.800 --> 0:45:41.880
<v Speaker 4>and it's what's done is done. You made your choice.

0:45:43.000 --> 0:45:47.080
<v Speaker 4>So that that was really my mindset, and there wasn't

0:45:47.160 --> 0:45:49.319
<v Speaker 4>like a part of me that was like, I'm gonna

0:45:49.360 --> 0:45:52.680
<v Speaker 4>go back and try to to like win win Bliss over.

0:45:53.360 --> 0:45:56.880
<v Speaker 4>I really was like I made my choice. It was

0:45:58.200 --> 0:46:02.000
<v Speaker 4>I'm going to move forward with this. And as I

0:46:02.080 --> 0:46:05.920
<v Speaker 4>you know, after I got engaged and everything that kind

0:46:05.960 --> 0:46:07.880
<v Speaker 4>of happened while was in Mexico. So Bliss had given

0:46:07.920 --> 0:46:10.359
<v Speaker 4>me a couple of gifts. She had given me this

0:46:10.400 --> 0:46:15.719
<v Speaker 4>book Read Rising by Pierce Brown, and she also gave

0:46:15.760 --> 0:46:18.200
<v Speaker 4>me this Court's Heart that I still have. I actually

0:46:18.320 --> 0:46:21.960
<v Speaker 4>kept it with me when we got married, Rose Courts Heart,

0:46:22.000 --> 0:46:27.160
<v Speaker 4>you know, and like while I was in Mexico and

0:46:27.320 --> 0:46:30.200
<v Speaker 4>things were going terribly, I just kept looking at that

0:46:30.320 --> 0:46:33.880
<v Speaker 4>heart and and it just it gave me a little

0:46:33.880 --> 0:46:36.759
<v Speaker 4>bit of solace and it made me feel just a

0:46:36.840 --> 0:46:39.600
<v Speaker 4>little bit better. And like every day I would sit

0:46:39.640 --> 0:46:43.319
<v Speaker 4>there and I was like, dude, you you, regardless of

0:46:43.320 --> 0:46:46.400
<v Speaker 4>whether it would have worked, you should have you should

0:46:46.440 --> 0:46:50.040
<v Speaker 4>not have made the decision that you did and.

0:46:51.040 --> 0:46:54.359
<v Speaker 1>Done the wrong, math all done the wrong.

0:46:54.840 --> 0:46:56.400
<v Speaker 4>And then I would I would read the book that

0:46:56.480 --> 0:46:58.200
<v Speaker 4>she had given me, and it was that the books

0:46:58.239 --> 0:47:03.000
<v Speaker 4>were what really was where my attraction and spark with

0:47:03.080 --> 0:47:07.239
<v Speaker 4>Bliss really started. Is we started talking about our like

0:47:07.320 --> 0:47:12.759
<v Speaker 4>our passion for literature, and we really connected on that.

0:47:12.800 --> 0:47:14.440
<v Speaker 4>And as I was reading the book, I was like, wow,

0:47:14.440 --> 0:47:16.960
<v Speaker 4>she really gets me. Like every time I would read it,

0:47:17.160 --> 0:47:21.600
<v Speaker 4>I was like this, this we connected so deeply on

0:47:21.600 --> 0:47:26.040
<v Speaker 4>on things that we are our passion about and that

0:47:26.080 --> 0:47:29.400
<v Speaker 4>we enjoy. So I was going through that and honestly,

0:47:29.440 --> 0:47:31.960
<v Speaker 4>like my thought was just and she had kind of

0:47:32.960 --> 0:47:35.880
<v Speaker 4>given me some warnings in the Pods too that I

0:47:35.920 --> 0:47:40.920
<v Speaker 4>had not heeded. So part of me, part of me

0:47:41.000 --> 0:47:44.520
<v Speaker 4>going into it like once we got back, was I

0:47:45.000 --> 0:47:50.840
<v Speaker 4>I kinda I kind of need to apologize, like because

0:47:50.880 --> 0:47:53.440
<v Speaker 4>of just the way everything went down. And also I

0:47:53.719 --> 0:47:56.800
<v Speaker 4>wanted to give her a gift because she had given

0:47:56.840 --> 0:47:59.640
<v Speaker 4>me multiple in the Pods, so I actually I didn't

0:47:59.640 --> 0:48:01.839
<v Speaker 4>know what I was going to give her, and it's

0:48:01.880 --> 0:48:04.880
<v Speaker 4>it's funny. So I was looking around and I thought

0:48:04.920 --> 0:48:09.799
<v Speaker 4>about our conversation in the Pods about how you want

0:48:09.800 --> 0:48:10.279
<v Speaker 4>to tell them what.

0:48:10.239 --> 0:48:12.560
<v Speaker 3>You Oh, I like really want to go to the moon.

0:48:12.600 --> 0:48:14.640
<v Speaker 3>As cheesy as that sounds, like, I've been if I'm

0:48:14.640 --> 0:48:17.640
<v Speaker 3>like ninety years old, like one day before I die,

0:48:17.840 --> 0:48:18.560
<v Speaker 3>I want to go.

0:48:19.360 --> 0:48:21.080
<v Speaker 1>It's not that far off, sis.

0:48:21.120 --> 0:48:23.719
<v Speaker 3>It's right, right. I feel like it'll be like reasonable

0:48:23.719 --> 0:48:24.799
<v Speaker 3>at that time, of.

0:48:24.960 --> 0:48:27.680
<v Speaker 1>Course it will Bliss in space. I'm here for it.

0:48:28.160 --> 0:48:29.879
<v Speaker 4>Her dream was the one day walk on the Moon,

0:48:29.920 --> 0:48:32.960
<v Speaker 4>and so I looked over and I have these two

0:48:33.360 --> 0:48:35.480
<v Speaker 4>bookends and they're my favorite book ends, and there are

0:48:35.520 --> 0:48:39.880
<v Speaker 4>two astronauts on the moon holding the books together, and

0:48:39.960 --> 0:48:42.400
<v Speaker 4>so I was like, that's that's the gift, right, So

0:48:42.680 --> 0:48:46.319
<v Speaker 4>I brought that with me to give to Bliss, and

0:48:47.560 --> 0:48:52.880
<v Speaker 4>when we met, the plans changed. It was just the

0:48:52.960 --> 0:48:56.319
<v Speaker 4>second like I could I could feel the connection the

0:48:56.360 --> 0:48:59.400
<v Speaker 4>moment she walked in the door, and the chemistry was

0:49:00.280 --> 0:49:03.920
<v Speaker 4>really really strong, like it was the second that she

0:49:04.000 --> 0:49:07.279
<v Speaker 4>came in. My first thought was uh oh, like uh

0:49:07.360 --> 0:49:08.400
<v Speaker 4>uh oh.

0:49:08.120 --> 0:49:09.640
<v Speaker 1>Is that the first time you actually saw her in

0:49:09.680 --> 0:49:10.200
<v Speaker 1>person too?

0:49:10.800 --> 0:49:14.080
<v Speaker 3>Yeah, yeah, it's very nerve wracking. In a public place,

0:49:14.200 --> 0:49:17.400
<v Speaker 3>it was like, oh my gosh, it was so nerve wracking.

0:49:17.640 --> 0:49:22.520
<v Speaker 4>And so I'm sitting there thinking like, okay, I could

0:49:22.560 --> 0:49:26.840
<v Speaker 4>just I could feel like this this is probably my wife,

0:49:27.040 --> 0:49:31.000
<v Speaker 4>Like I just there was something in that moment when

0:49:31.000 --> 0:49:33.480
<v Speaker 4>we met. And I wasn't certain about it because I

0:49:33.760 --> 0:49:36.839
<v Speaker 4>like to deliberate over decisions, but I knew that there

0:49:36.920 --> 0:49:40.960
<v Speaker 4>was something incredibly special there and I had known in

0:49:41.040 --> 0:49:44.239
<v Speaker 4>the Pods. I was so close to getting engaged to

0:49:44.280 --> 0:49:48.400
<v Speaker 4>her that logically, in my mind, I'm like, Okay, you

0:49:48.480 --> 0:49:52.040
<v Speaker 4>know everything that matters is there, and you know that

0:49:52.320 --> 0:49:54.880
<v Speaker 4>you can feel this connection. And so it was a

0:49:54.880 --> 0:49:57.319
<v Speaker 4>pretty short turnaround. It was about a week before we

0:49:57.360 --> 0:50:02.560
<v Speaker 4>met to when I was like, on a knee.

0:50:12.760 --> 0:50:14.759
<v Speaker 2>What's been the best and what's been something that you

0:50:14.800 --> 0:50:18.160
<v Speaker 2>guys go, Okay, we gotta work on this a little bit.

0:50:19.440 --> 0:50:24.360
<v Speaker 3>Yeah. We both are very strong headed people. We both

0:50:24.600 --> 0:50:27.600
<v Speaker 3>like to express our opinions, and I think we're both

0:50:27.680 --> 0:50:30.120
<v Speaker 3>used to being with people that kind of just like

0:50:30.360 --> 0:50:33.080
<v Speaker 3>go with the flow of whatever or just agree with

0:50:33.120 --> 0:50:37.319
<v Speaker 3>whatever is, so we challenge each other in that. I

0:50:37.360 --> 0:50:42.200
<v Speaker 3>think we definitely he's a very strong person. I actually like,

0:50:42.280 --> 0:50:45.919
<v Speaker 3>really respect him. He's so intelligent, and I haven't really

0:50:45.920 --> 0:50:48.480
<v Speaker 3>been with someone that I like I can trust their

0:50:48.520 --> 0:50:50.160
<v Speaker 3>opinion on things. I'm like, oh, I didn't think.

0:50:50.080 --> 0:50:50.719
<v Speaker 4>About it that way.

0:50:50.719 --> 0:50:54.000
<v Speaker 3>I'm usually just used to relying on myself. So that's

0:50:54.040 --> 0:50:56.680
<v Speaker 3>been a challenge and like a really beautiful thing in

0:50:56.719 --> 0:50:57.320
<v Speaker 3>my opinion.

0:50:58.160 --> 0:51:01.480
<v Speaker 4>So I would say I don't know if my experience

0:51:01.520 --> 0:51:06.080
<v Speaker 4>has been that I have typically been attracted to maybe

0:51:06.120 --> 0:51:09.719
<v Speaker 4>that's just strong, strong willed women. Yeah, I think that

0:51:09.719 --> 0:51:12.120
<v Speaker 4>that's one of the things I find very attractive about Bliss.

0:51:13.719 --> 0:51:19.160
<v Speaker 4>And yeah, so for me, I'm very comfortable with conflict.

0:51:19.360 --> 0:51:23.279
<v Speaker 4>I think it's a natural part of relationships, and so

0:51:23.360 --> 0:51:27.000
<v Speaker 4>I don't mind that I think they are. It is

0:51:27.040 --> 0:51:30.920
<v Speaker 4>interesting though, we both are to some degree verbal processors,

0:51:32.400 --> 0:51:36.040
<v Speaker 4>and so sometimes in conversations that can be difficult when

0:51:36.080 --> 0:51:42.960
<v Speaker 4>both people want to process things verbally. Yeah, yeah, exactly so.

0:51:43.080 --> 0:51:45.640
<v Speaker 4>But we've learned that. And also I think that one

0:51:45.640 --> 0:51:47.720
<v Speaker 4>of the biggest things that we've learned in our conflict

0:51:47.800 --> 0:51:52.200
<v Speaker 4>style is at least that I have learned, is it.

0:51:52.280 --> 0:51:54.839
<v Speaker 4>I just think I have to give Bliss time. You know,

0:51:55.160 --> 0:51:58.520
<v Speaker 4>if we have she will listen to me, but she

0:51:58.640 --> 0:52:03.480
<v Speaker 4>won't always ignoge what I'm saying until she's had some

0:52:03.560 --> 0:52:06.040
<v Speaker 4>time to reflect on it. But she almost always does.

0:52:06.160 --> 0:52:09.240
<v Speaker 4>Our very first fight went exactly like that in the Pods.

0:52:09.520 --> 0:52:09.960
<v Speaker 4>It was weird.

0:52:10.000 --> 0:52:12.040
<v Speaker 3>Yeah, they don't show that we had an argument in

0:52:12.080 --> 0:52:12.640
<v Speaker 3>the pods.

0:52:12.760 --> 0:52:16.120
<v Speaker 4>Yeah, we had all we had a big conversation about

0:52:16.120 --> 0:52:18.960
<v Speaker 4>whether her family was going to accept me, and she

0:52:19.000 --> 0:52:21.279
<v Speaker 4>did show that part. Yeah, and then about the allergies

0:52:22.440 --> 0:52:26.319
<v Speaker 4>and like the obstacles that we were going to face,

0:52:26.640 --> 0:52:30.120
<v Speaker 4>and it was pretty heated. And then when we came

0:52:30.239 --> 0:52:33.719
<v Speaker 4>back Bliss that on our next date, Bliss was very

0:52:33.760 --> 0:52:39.680
<v Speaker 4>calm and collected, and she showed a level of maturity

0:52:39.760 --> 0:52:43.920
<v Speaker 4>that was incredibly impressive in the way that she was

0:52:43.960 --> 0:52:48.000
<v Speaker 4>able to articulate understanding my emotions and the way that

0:52:48.080 --> 0:52:51.840
<v Speaker 4>I was feeling and how that was going to affect me.

0:52:51.880 --> 0:52:54.960
<v Speaker 4>So I've learned when she gets a little riled up,

0:52:55.080 --> 0:52:57.120
<v Speaker 4>to just let her be a little riled up and

0:52:58.880 --> 0:53:02.120
<v Speaker 4>then you know, wait, wait a couple hours and then

0:53:02.160 --> 0:53:02.800
<v Speaker 4>we can talk.

0:53:04.120 --> 0:53:06.920
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, that makes that makes perfect sense. What is if

0:53:06.960 --> 0:53:07.880
<v Speaker 2>you can to wrap up?

0:53:08.120 --> 0:53:08.520
<v Speaker 1>What is it?

0:53:08.960 --> 0:53:12.120
<v Speaker 2>What is the takeaway that you want people to have

0:53:12.280 --> 0:53:13.960
<v Speaker 2>when it comes to you guys as a couple.

0:53:16.200 --> 0:53:21.920
<v Speaker 3>I think for me, Zach, I wasn't. I wasn't. I

0:53:21.920 --> 0:53:24.279
<v Speaker 3>guess I hadn't been in situations where I was so

0:53:24.440 --> 0:53:27.480
<v Speaker 3>quick and easy to forgive people and to give grace

0:53:27.560 --> 0:53:30.400
<v Speaker 3>so quick and easy. It's been a long journey for you.

0:53:30.520 --> 0:53:32.880
<v Speaker 3>People will see like, oh you you're so gracious and forgiving,

0:53:32.920 --> 0:53:34.319
<v Speaker 3>and that that took a lot of work for me.

0:53:34.400 --> 0:53:37.760
<v Speaker 3>It wasn't in my twenties I was not on that train,

0:53:37.880 --> 0:53:39.680
<v Speaker 3>on that path, and it took a lot of work.

0:53:40.520 --> 0:53:44.560
<v Speaker 3>But I think our experience, like really, really truly like

0:53:44.719 --> 0:53:48.640
<v Speaker 3>showed me how to deeply, truly, hundred percent forgive and

0:53:48.800 --> 0:53:52.080
<v Speaker 3>give grace. And I think our story, if I want,

0:53:52.120 --> 0:53:53.840
<v Speaker 3>I want people to take that from that, you know,

0:53:53.880 --> 0:53:56.719
<v Speaker 3>from our stories, Like it's so important to give grace.

0:53:56.760 --> 0:53:59.600
<v Speaker 3>It's so freeing to be forgiving, not only of that

0:53:59.680 --> 0:54:02.560
<v Speaker 3>person but of yourself. It's a beautiful thing that I

0:54:02.600 --> 0:54:06.360
<v Speaker 3>hope everyone learns to do. So for me, I would say.

0:54:06.160 --> 0:54:07.520
<v Speaker 1>That he meant to.

0:54:08.680 --> 0:54:11.680
<v Speaker 4>I think that there's two things that I would I

0:54:11.680 --> 0:54:14.400
<v Speaker 4>would want people to take from our relationship. One is

0:54:14.440 --> 0:54:16.960
<v Speaker 4>what Bliss just said. I think that's the most important

0:54:17.000 --> 0:54:18.359
<v Speaker 4>thing to me. And that was the most important thing

0:54:18.400 --> 0:54:21.040
<v Speaker 4>to me at all on the show. And we had

0:54:21.080 --> 0:54:26.480
<v Speaker 4>such a beautiful cast that was so graceful and gave

0:54:28.560 --> 0:54:32.719
<v Speaker 4>gave forgiveness where maybe it wasn't it wasn't due. But

0:54:32.760 --> 0:54:36.560
<v Speaker 4>that's the beauty about grace, right, is that it's not

0:54:36.640 --> 0:54:40.960
<v Speaker 4>necessarily deserved, but when we give it, the world becomes

0:54:40.960 --> 0:54:43.960
<v Speaker 4>a more beautiful place. We break that cycle of violence,

0:54:43.960 --> 0:54:48.239
<v Speaker 4>we break that cycle of pain, and like that's what

0:54:48.320 --> 0:54:50.640
<v Speaker 4>that is the story of our love, right, is that

0:54:50.760 --> 0:54:53.200
<v Speaker 4>bliss could have been I was mad.

0:54:53.800 --> 0:54:56.799
<v Speaker 3>I was mad. I was able to.

0:54:59.600 --> 0:55:03.120
<v Speaker 2>Yourself to go to Mars, buddy, because I'm going to

0:55:03.160 --> 0:55:03.719
<v Speaker 2>be I'm a moon.

0:55:04.760 --> 0:55:08.759
<v Speaker 4>It was. Yeah. So I think that that's so many people.

0:55:08.800 --> 0:55:12.280
<v Speaker 4>There's people who've hurt you. There's things that have happened

0:55:12.320 --> 0:55:14.480
<v Speaker 4>to you in your life, and if you hold on

0:55:14.600 --> 0:55:18.439
<v Speaker 4>to those or try to punish people for the things

0:55:18.440 --> 0:55:21.960
<v Speaker 4>that they've done to you, you're only making the world

0:55:22.080 --> 0:55:25.600
<v Speaker 4>just a little darker, Right, even if it doesn't benefit you,

0:55:27.080 --> 0:55:30.160
<v Speaker 4>it'll benefit someone else, right if you give that grace.

0:55:31.360 --> 0:55:33.479
<v Speaker 4>But it's a hard it's a hard question. It's something

0:55:33.480 --> 0:55:37.160
<v Speaker 4>that I really dealt with with my experience in the Pods.

0:55:37.200 --> 0:55:40.600
<v Speaker 4>Back to your question about the Mexico thing, because there's

0:55:40.760 --> 0:55:43.920
<v Speaker 4>there's grace, but then there's also like trying to balance

0:55:44.080 --> 0:55:48.400
<v Speaker 4>truth and acknowledging the truth of what has happened. And

0:55:49.800 --> 0:55:54.600
<v Speaker 4>it's not healthy to allow like someone to engage in

0:55:54.680 --> 0:55:58.880
<v Speaker 4>really toxic behavior and not to acknowledge it. Right, Like,

0:55:59.000 --> 0:56:02.520
<v Speaker 4>grace doesn't mean that you know, Grace doesn't mean that

0:56:02.520 --> 0:56:05.319
<v Speaker 4>there's not accountability and it and for me, it was like,

0:56:05.440 --> 0:56:08.560
<v Speaker 4>what's the balance though, it was really like what's the balance,

0:56:08.600 --> 0:56:12.080
<v Speaker 4>how what's the minimum amount you need to say to

0:56:12.080 --> 0:56:16.320
<v Speaker 4>to be honest and and and hold someone accountable without

0:56:16.680 --> 0:56:20.680
<v Speaker 4>churning into you known, condemning them. Yeah, and that that's

0:56:20.719 --> 0:56:24.520
<v Speaker 4>that's something that I still have still work on in

0:56:24.560 --> 0:56:26.360
<v Speaker 4>my own life, and it's a it's a process of

0:56:26.400 --> 0:56:29.279
<v Speaker 4>becoming better at that. The the last rant that I

0:56:29.320 --> 0:56:31.680
<v Speaker 4>would say is that I think, look like there's a

0:56:31.719 --> 0:56:33.440
<v Speaker 4>lot of people out there that are lonely, that are

0:56:33.560 --> 0:56:37.120
<v Speaker 4>that are hoping to find their person, to find love.

0:56:37.560 --> 0:56:39.319
<v Speaker 4>And I would just say it's it's going to come

0:56:39.360 --> 0:56:42.080
<v Speaker 4>on its own time, and that like for us, I

0:56:42.120 --> 0:56:48.960
<v Speaker 4>mean we met, I was I was really thirty thirty two,

0:56:49.000 --> 0:56:51.200
<v Speaker 4>I guess, yeah, thirty Yeah, And so there's like a

0:56:51.200 --> 0:56:53.440
<v Speaker 4>long time, like I was very serious about finding a wife.

0:56:53.440 --> 0:56:56.319
<v Speaker 4>That's what I wanted personally, and I went through a

0:56:56.320 --> 0:56:59.399
<v Speaker 4>long process of like trying trying to go through that

0:56:59.719 --> 0:57:02.120
<v Speaker 4>knowing what I was looking for, but not quite finding it.

0:57:02.800 --> 0:57:05.080
<v Speaker 3>Yeah, I don't force it, I think is a big thing, right,

0:57:05.320 --> 0:57:06.960
<v Speaker 3>t wait for it. It's worth the wait.

0:57:07.280 --> 0:57:09.719
<v Speaker 4>You just have to take risks though, Like that's that's

0:57:09.760 --> 0:57:11.520
<v Speaker 4>the biggest thing you have to put yourself out there.

0:57:12.200 --> 0:57:13.839
<v Speaker 1>Love is blind. Just go for it.

0:57:14.200 --> 0:57:18.120
<v Speaker 3>Yeah, blisk blisk could have sure that they're sent is good.

0:57:19.600 --> 0:57:21.480
<v Speaker 4>There was a real part of me when I when

0:57:21.520 --> 0:57:23.360
<v Speaker 4>I proposed to blist. I mean it was a week

0:57:23.400 --> 0:57:26.120
<v Speaker 4>after I got back. Yeah, And there was a real

0:57:26.160 --> 0:57:27.760
<v Speaker 4>part of me when when we got on the boat.

0:57:28.280 --> 0:57:31.360
<v Speaker 4>I always thinking I made it, so I may get

0:57:31.480 --> 0:57:34.360
<v Speaker 4>rejected on National TV on this boat and it's going

0:57:34.440 --> 0:57:37.200
<v Speaker 4>to be really awkward. I had a hunch that it

0:57:37.240 --> 0:57:40.160
<v Speaker 4>wasn't going to happen, but I didn't know by no

0:57:40.240 --> 0:57:42.680
<v Speaker 4>means that I know. It was a real surprise.

0:57:44.160 --> 0:57:48.640
<v Speaker 2>So I'm so happy for you guys, and I love

0:57:48.680 --> 0:57:52.160
<v Speaker 2>the fact that you're just allergied up with all your meds.

0:57:52.200 --> 0:57:54.080
<v Speaker 2>So yeah, way we can keep the Do we have

0:57:54.120 --> 0:57:58.160
<v Speaker 2>an an an by to babies too? Or is there

0:57:58.200 --> 0:57:59.320
<v Speaker 2>going to be babies in the future.

0:58:00.040 --> 0:58:01.760
<v Speaker 3>That's a good question. Do you have an allergy to

0:58:01.840 --> 0:58:02.440
<v Speaker 3>human babies?

0:58:02.480 --> 0:58:04.320
<v Speaker 1>I don't think so you guys can talk about this

0:58:04.360 --> 0:58:07.800
<v Speaker 1>in the I'm like, I should have found that one.

0:58:08.080 --> 0:58:10.760
<v Speaker 1>There's no EpiPen for that, Zach, So we're gonna need

0:58:10.800 --> 0:58:14.080
<v Speaker 1>you to get on board, buddy. But kids and kids

0:58:14.080 --> 0:58:14.800
<v Speaker 1>in the future, you.

0:58:14.760 --> 0:58:19.440
<v Speaker 3>Think yeah, yeah, really close with our families and our

0:58:19.520 --> 0:58:22.920
<v Speaker 3>nieces and Matthews. So one day yeah, hey, well I

0:58:22.960 --> 0:58:23.280
<v Speaker 3>love it.

0:58:23.280 --> 0:58:27.760
<v Speaker 2>Well, congrats, thank you for coming on the show. And uh,

0:58:28.840 --> 0:58:32.320
<v Speaker 2>we're no, we're excite to follow along, so thanks for

0:58:32.440 --> 0:58:42.439
<v Speaker 2>coming on. They're so cute. Oh love, love, love love.

0:58:42.760 --> 0:58:45.040
<v Speaker 2>So I couldn't date a cat person, There's something else

0:58:45.080 --> 0:58:47.040
<v Speaker 2>I couldn't do. That was one of the first things

0:58:47.080 --> 0:58:47.720
<v Speaker 2>I was gonna say.

0:58:48.080 --> 0:58:50.360
<v Speaker 1>I couldn't do it. I mean either I actually am

0:58:50.520 --> 0:58:54.800
<v Speaker 1>allergic and I'm not allergic like he is, so I am.

0:58:54.840 --> 0:58:57.200
<v Speaker 1>I just I don't know how to hold a cat.

0:58:57.280 --> 0:58:59.320
<v Speaker 1>I grew up with cats. Well, cats don't want to be.

0:59:01.160 --> 0:59:03.320
<v Speaker 2>And something bothers me when some of this, oh, it's

0:59:03.360 --> 0:59:05.440
<v Speaker 2>just like a dog, I'm like, no, no, no, you're

0:59:05.480 --> 0:59:06.880
<v Speaker 2>just trying to say that because you know, dogs are

0:59:06.880 --> 0:59:09.360
<v Speaker 2>cooler and because it acts more like a dog, because

0:59:09.400 --> 0:59:12.600
<v Speaker 2>it but cats to me, Oh, I think it's just

0:59:12.640 --> 0:59:18.440
<v Speaker 2>because I love love and I want to be loved. Actually,

0:59:18.520 --> 0:59:21.680
<v Speaker 2>I will say this in where the mafays I'm at now.

0:59:21.720 --> 0:59:23.400
<v Speaker 2>I think I would do better with a cat because

0:59:23.440 --> 0:59:25.760
<v Speaker 2>I just don't want because dogs, you know, it's just

0:59:25.760 --> 0:59:28.000
<v Speaker 2>it's a lot with it, and I don't have time

0:59:28.320 --> 0:59:32.080
<v Speaker 2>right Yeah, they're the last thing to get fed. It's

0:59:32.080 --> 0:59:34.360
<v Speaker 2>just the truth right now, until the kids are older.

0:59:34.880 --> 0:59:38.360
<v Speaker 2>Then I'll just love dogs again. Second I had a baby,

0:59:39.160 --> 0:59:42.160
<v Speaker 2>dogs just became a dog, and it's I did not

0:59:42.200 --> 0:59:45.000
<v Speaker 2>believe that was going to happen to me. My almost

0:59:45.080 --> 0:59:48.160
<v Speaker 2>eighteen year old Jack Russell is in his sweet hospice

0:59:48.200 --> 0:59:49.800
<v Speaker 2>years at my house right now, and I thought, there's

0:59:49.840 --> 0:59:50.120
<v Speaker 2>no way.

0:59:50.160 --> 0:59:53.120
<v Speaker 1>He's my baby. He's my person. He thinks he's a person,

0:59:53.400 --> 0:59:53.919
<v Speaker 1>he's a dog.

0:59:54.040 --> 0:59:54.240
<v Speaker 3>Yeah.

0:59:54.280 --> 0:59:57.120
<v Speaker 2>Well, but the cat thing, I still I just I

0:59:57.200 --> 0:59:59.360
<v Speaker 2>thought about it for a second because Jolie really wanted

0:59:59.360 --> 1:00:01.200
<v Speaker 2>when I was like, all right, that's how hard can

1:00:01.240 --> 1:00:05.320
<v Speaker 2>this be? But then I'm allergic. My mom's husband is

1:00:05.320 --> 1:00:09.240
<v Speaker 2>like deathly allergic and so and then I just was like,

1:00:09.280 --> 1:00:10.360
<v Speaker 2>I just don't like cats.

1:00:10.560 --> 1:00:12.000
<v Speaker 1>I could tell you if you've been around a cat

1:00:12.040 --> 1:00:14.800
<v Speaker 1>in the last forty five days, like I'll stop breathing. Well,

1:00:15.040 --> 1:00:15.640
<v Speaker 1>don't worry.

1:00:15.800 --> 1:00:17.720
<v Speaker 2>So that is really out and said he didn't like cats.

1:00:17.760 --> 1:00:19.680
<v Speaker 2>I was like, oh, oh yeah, because that would be

1:00:19.680 --> 1:00:20.360
<v Speaker 2>a oh.

1:00:21.040 --> 1:00:23.800
<v Speaker 1>I mean, I just can't. I'm like looking at him

1:00:23.800 --> 1:00:25.960
<v Speaker 1>like I was trying to zoom in on his eye, like,

1:00:26.600 --> 1:00:29.080
<v Speaker 1>are you watering? Are you okay? Can I get a

1:00:29.160 --> 1:00:31.760
<v Speaker 1>pull socks on this guy? Because that's a lot passing

1:00:31.840 --> 1:00:34.720
<v Speaker 1>against cat people. Again, I just didn't grow up. I don't.

1:00:35.400 --> 1:00:36.600
<v Speaker 1>I just am allergic to them.

1:00:36.680 --> 1:00:38.880
<v Speaker 2>So they there's just kittens who are so cute. My

1:00:38.880 --> 1:00:41.000
<v Speaker 2>friend Amy had a kitten in their day or other

1:00:41.200 --> 1:00:42.800
<v Speaker 2>day Jesus. A couple months ago. She came to see

1:00:42.800 --> 1:00:43.200
<v Speaker 2>me and when I.

1:00:43.160 --> 1:00:46.400
<v Speaker 1>Was actually twenty eighteen, who she brought a kit And

1:00:46.440 --> 1:00:49.960
<v Speaker 1>I'm like, yeah, it's cute. Yeah, but then when it

1:00:50.040 --> 1:00:52.080
<v Speaker 1>just gets older, I think that's how my parents feel

1:00:52.080 --> 1:00:59.240
<v Speaker 1>about me. They're precious. Okay, Well, it is fun to hear.

1:00:59.240 --> 1:01:00.880
<v Speaker 1>The other side of love is blind though, because you know,

1:01:00.920 --> 1:01:03.000
<v Speaker 1>when you tune in, you don't get there's so many

1:01:03.280 --> 1:01:05.360
<v Speaker 1>There's only so much airtime they can give these people,

1:01:05.400 --> 1:01:07.040
<v Speaker 1>and so there's a lot that gets edited out and

1:01:07.040 --> 1:01:08.280
<v Speaker 1>you want to know exactly.

1:01:08.480 --> 1:01:11.520
<v Speaker 2>But let's try and get the Boys next week.

1:01:11.560 --> 1:01:14.640
<v Speaker 1>That'd be fun. I think that's fun. We'll see it

1:01:14.680 --> 1:01:19.800
<v Speaker 1>will stay tuned. It would be maybe Amy and the Boy.

1:01:20.320 --> 1:01:23.400
<v Speaker 2>Oh, we should get our therapist and the boys.

1:01:23.440 --> 1:01:27.600
<v Speaker 1>Amy and the Boys sounds like a really cool rap group. Oh,

1:01:27.640 --> 1:01:30.400
<v Speaker 1>I love that idea. Okay, I don't think Alan will

1:01:30.440 --> 1:01:32.680
<v Speaker 1>go for it. But I don't think but he'll go

1:01:32.720 --> 1:01:37.680
<v Speaker 1>for Alan. Yeah, well this one. Maybe there's a logger

1:01:37.680 --> 1:01:39.160
<v Speaker 1>and a couple baby daddies in our future.

1:01:39.200 --> 1:01:41.760
<v Speaker 2>Oh yeah, we'll give him a beer. Yeah, okay, all right,

1:01:42.080 --> 1:01:43.040
<v Speaker 2>see you guys next week.