Speaker 1: Forever. Look man, oh I see you? Why why? And
Speaker 1: look over there? How is that culture? Yes? Goodness calling?
Speaker 1: Now I feel like I'm dusting my goddamn wheels off.
Speaker 1: Is that a saying? But I'm dusting my wheels off.
Speaker 1: It might not be a saying, but I do know
Speaker 1: what you mean when you say, which, okay, what is it?
Speaker 1: I want to hear you say what that means. So
Speaker 1: by dusting your wheels off, I think that you are
Speaker 1: freshly in Los Angeles, where we currently are, and I
Speaker 1: think that the wheels metaphorically in this saying, have collected
Speaker 1: I guess dust from the traveling No, okay, and now
Speaker 1: you're dusting them off so that your car looks nice
Speaker 1: as you're driving around. And how load you fully misinterpreted
Speaker 1: what I was trying to say. And I don't think
Speaker 1: we can be friends anymore. This just means that, well,
Speaker 1: it's fine that I misinterpreted. It's not the fine that
Speaker 1: we just kidding. I meant that we haven't done this
Speaker 1: in a while. Oh okay, so we haven't recorded an
Speaker 1: episode in a long time because we backlocked a bunch
Speaker 1: of bunch of like in our in our episode with
Speaker 1: current and Christina we talked about the Masked Singers if
Speaker 1: it was like a new thing and now it's like
Speaker 1: old news, humiliating humility. I listened back and I cringed
Speaker 1: at what little I knew that the little topicality. But
Speaker 1: the reason is, but here's the thing, Like since we
Speaker 1: last recorded together, many things have changed. A lot's changed
Speaker 1: and busy bi Coastal Horse where I have to say everyone,
Speaker 1: can we can we can? We say this on the pod?
Speaker 1: I guess always Okay, this is I wasn't told I couldn't.
Speaker 1: You weren't told you couldn't. And no, this is this
Speaker 1: is the kind of thing that just gets scuttled at
Speaker 1: it anyway, but everyone Matt is in the writer's room
Speaker 1: as a writer for the other two fourth season two.
Speaker 1: It's so exciting. It's almost like I willed it into
Speaker 1: the atmosphere. Well, I mean truly, like you like are
Speaker 1: perfect for that show, sensibility wise, comedically, your work ethic
Speaker 1: is perfect for that show. And and just you know,
Speaker 1: like it's it's it's such a perfect first job for you.
Speaker 1: I love it having a nice time, having a nice time.
Speaker 1: And can I say what's changed about you? What she's
Speaker 1: in She's she got a tattoo. She got a tattoo.
Speaker 1: I've been thinking about it for a long time. I
Speaker 1: literally I slept on it for a very long time.
Speaker 1: And the very first thing I did when I saw
Speaker 1: the tattoo was touch it, which actually is rual culture
Speaker 1: number eighteen. You can't touch the tattoo. It's fresh, that's fine,
Speaker 1: you can touch it. I just I just have a
Speaker 1: layer of nears born. I have a layer right right right.
Speaker 1: I wanted to go touch it, and then you did
Speaker 1: a classic bone yangs squeal you did, I yes, which
Speaker 1: I feel is your Like if Nicole Buyer was like,
Speaker 1: You're like, yeah, that is my, then it's my primal
Speaker 1: true self. But anyways, big changes, big changes. What is
Speaker 1: what does this mean? This symbol? Okay, so it's basically
Speaker 1: a red square with dashed lines cross wise and diagonally. Um.
Speaker 1: And this is the traditional meats which is the uh
Speaker 1: sort of structure. It's like the grid that you have
Speaker 1: in calligraphy paper or just in workbook paper. And so uh.
Speaker 1: I got a lot of fun Twitter responses today being
Speaker 1: like wow, he's taken like his childhood trauma, which is
Speaker 1: Chinese school. And so these are on all the Chinese
Speaker 1: school workbooks. But then you put it there, but it
Speaker 1: represents like structure and empty space and is there anything
Speaker 1: to that is it? Is this your trauma? This is
Speaker 1: not no no. I just thought that was a funny,
Speaker 1: like a tocy for them. But for me, this is
Speaker 1: like because like the cliche thing is to get a
Speaker 1: Chinese character, but I didn't get the character. I got
Speaker 1: the invisible structure around it, but made that visible and
Speaker 1: made the character not visible. But the tattoo artist, Raven Lou,
Speaker 1: they're amazing, their performance artists based out here and they're
Speaker 1: they're also a tattoo artist. Um, so they do they
Speaker 1: do the grid with like something inside, and I was
Speaker 1: I couldn't decide on what to get inside, but I
Speaker 1: was like, maybe someday you will tattoo something in there.
Speaker 1: Absolutely I say, I say, keep it, keep it open,
Speaker 1: keep it open. But then someday maybe I'll be compelled
Speaker 1: to put something in there, and it'll be raven to
Speaker 1: like finish the story. Isn't that beautiful? That is beautiful?
Speaker 1: And I want to say, like I had an instinct
Speaker 1: to ask you what it means to you, but then
Speaker 1: I thought to myself, you know what that's not for everyone,
Speaker 1: that's that's only for you. For me, it's just it's
Speaker 1: just like a simple like for the longest time, I
Speaker 1: was having a hanging being like I don't know I
Speaker 1: want a tattoo, but I didn't know what I would get.
Speaker 1: And then I saw this on Raven's Instagram. I was like, Oh, yeah,
Speaker 1: and that you get a tat um. I don't think
Speaker 1: so because I feel like I don't have any like
Speaker 1: compulsion today. I think I've told you this. My sister
Speaker 1: and I almost got matching tattoos in Universal Studios, Florida,
Speaker 1: and then we went up and we were like, have
Speaker 1: tattoo artists they do well? And then I was like,
Speaker 1: I don't think we know what we want, and that
Speaker 1: means we shouldn't get it. And also I would feel
Speaker 1: insane if I got a tattoo in Orlando, Florida. And
Speaker 1: that's not saying there's no shade. I just think if
Speaker 1: I get a tattoo, I have to know what I
Speaker 1: want a and it has to be in like the
Speaker 1: city of New York. I can't be I can't be
Speaker 1: on I can't be on my like Orlando fever dream
Speaker 1: and get a tattoo, because that's like, I'm not myself there,
Speaker 1: I'm a heightened version of my totally well. You know,
Speaker 1: we were walking around Portland, you and I one and
Speaker 1: I kept saying. He was like, we should get a
Speaker 1: tet and I was like, no, because we were we
Speaker 1: don't know what we want. And I look, this means
Speaker 1: something to you, and I'm I'm happy that you got it,
Speaker 1: but until we can figure out what we get that
Speaker 1: binds us. What were we going to get? What was
Speaker 1: your idea? I don't remember that we were high. We
Speaker 1: were happy, all right, So here's the deal. Speaking of
Speaker 1: being high and speaking, I would like to tattoo things
Speaker 1: for our guests face. Oh he's got a good fire
Speaker 1: right thigh on my asshole because I feel very strongly
Speaker 1: about our guests. You know, the first time I saw
Speaker 1: our guests perform, I saw him do a character set,
Speaker 1: which I've never seen him do since. But I did
Speaker 1: say to myself, I have to know everything. He it
Speaker 1: was impactful. Like I saw him. I saw the set,
Speaker 1: the sixacts that you're talking about. You were intrigued. I
Speaker 1: was like, Wow, that guy, and then I went up
Speaker 1: to him afterwards. I was like, you're you're amazing. Yes
Speaker 1: he did. He basically starts with from what I can recall, um,
Speaker 1: it's a DJ set from Glenn did the Good Bitch,
Speaker 1: and he's just just just super like I'm gonna hit
Speaker 1: you with some beats. It's just like I'm gonna I'm
Speaker 1: gonna blow your fucking socks with my beats. And he
Speaker 1: basically just does like musical like like like like beat
Speaker 1: driven musical theater. I think he did like don't my
Speaker 1: praide he and he truly I remember I remember the
Speaker 1: iconic don't don't, don't, don't I'm playing, and I was like,
Speaker 1: I love that. It's just all the queerest cannon ship
Speaker 1: and I'm like, this is brilliant character at the Beast
Speaker 1: that night. Well, and truly I was like, wow, I've
Speaker 1: never seen this happen, and now I see him do
Speaker 1: stand up. He is a stand up The thing is
Speaker 1: like I would never here's the thing. To be the
Speaker 1: bitch that turns out all different kinds of performance, you
Speaker 1: have to be talented bitch, and this is a talented bit.
Speaker 1: And we've appeared on a couple of the same shows
Speaker 1: out here in l A. Always crushes, always crushes, always
Speaker 1: never seen him not rush. We saw him crushing cluster Fest.
Speaker 1: I always watched him crush, Always watch him crush. But
Speaker 1: here's the thing I want to him on the show
Speaker 1: to a true renaissance man in comedy. As part of
Speaker 1: the fantastic legendary in Provence Sketch Group three Pete based
Speaker 1: out of Chicago, a writer for The Break with Michelle Wolf,
Speaker 1: and he famously appeared as Beyonce with Michelle Wolf in
Speaker 1: In Fact Drag in Fact Drag Well, Michelle Wolf was
Speaker 1: heard jay Z his jay Z um to his Beyonce. Um.
Speaker 1: That was the bit was Michelle was like, I can
Speaker 1: just be jay Z and just stand there and not
Speaker 1: do anything, and while Beyonce just fucking flails around and
Speaker 1: does all these gymnastics. Um. It was gorgeous, iconic queer
Speaker 1: that that's queer cannon. Qu queer cannon. The whole The
Speaker 1: guest is quick Cannon. The guest is queer cannon. And
Speaker 1: he's working on and Matt doing to do the honors.
Speaker 1: This is the thing that we cannot talk guess what
Speaker 1: he's doing, something that we can't even talk about. And
Speaker 1: but you're gonna be fucking gooped, And God, what do
Speaker 1: you hear You'll hear about it later, but not from us,
Speaker 1: not from us from deadline. Maybe I really love our
Speaker 1: guests so so much. Welcome to your ears. Dwayne Perkins
Speaker 1: got hello. Hi the we just did a long inocus.
Speaker 1: We haven't seen each other in a while, but I'm
Speaker 1: so glad you guys remember that set. That's the last
Speaker 1: characters that I've ever done. I'm so good. I was like,
Speaker 1: I'm done with this. And then I just started doing
Speaker 1: stand up. That's privilege. That's privilege of being like, I'm
Speaker 1: too good at this, I'm not going to do it again.
Speaker 1: Able I you know, I that was like we were
Speaker 1: all understing for JFL and I was positive you were
Speaker 1: going to go and I remember they didn't pick me,
Speaker 1: and I was like, oh, I'm not doing this again. Yeah,
Speaker 1: doing never deming early on, I wish they were all
Speaker 1: that strong well doing and they were d m NG
Speaker 1: Like I saw his set and like okay, and and
Speaker 1: so then we like we like we like strike up
Speaker 1: a strike up a little friendship. Um, but but we
Speaker 1: were both just like, Wow, maybe we'll like hang out
Speaker 1: in Montreal, because at the Tiny was in Chicago. It
Speaker 1: was the biggest. It was enough. It was an egregious
Speaker 1: moment that you guys didn't go and I didn't and
Speaker 1: that you didn't you that was a good group because
Speaker 1: he had you and Heidi Gardner and loved Gardener. That's
Speaker 1: the first time I saw Catoen. Yeah, catcom was up there,
Speaker 1: and I also didn't go, like true DFL. I don't
Speaker 1: know about you guys, your your marks off. You know,
Speaker 1: that was a good night. That that us being a
Speaker 1: good a good group. Would you ever do a character
Speaker 1: set again? You think if you unless you need to,
Speaker 1: I don't find a reason to. They're hard to They're
Speaker 1: hard to put up and like have everyone in the
Speaker 1: audience like be on board with Yeah, it's like I'll
Speaker 1: just like rather like write a pilot and try to
Speaker 1: sell it. I just don't have time to be done characters, well,
Speaker 1: unless you're like going up for a sketch show, which
Speaker 1: there's only one, you know what I mean. Like and
Speaker 1: like at a certain point, it's like you don't do
Speaker 1: that anymore. You don't really do what character said, you
Speaker 1: know what. And also it is weird to just put
Speaker 1: it up in the middle of a stand up set,
Speaker 1: because stand up show rather because no one's ready for it. Yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: unless you do one long character. Yeah, I'd rather like
Speaker 1: stand up was Honestly, stand up is just easier, like you,
Speaker 1: less props, less preparation. You literally go on stage and
Speaker 1: talk and just like I can, I can do this.
Speaker 1: Here are you? But you too? Are? I feel well?
Speaker 1: Mad is someone who has taken his sketch or character
Speaker 1: ideas and like transmitted them very effectively into stand up
Speaker 1: like act outs, like stand up jokes, like is that something?
Speaker 1: Is that something you you do? No, because I think
Speaker 1: the characters that I would do were so far from
Speaker 1: me that it's hard to put them into stand up.
Speaker 1: And I feel like you stand up strictly as like
Speaker 1: a power to it. But like I'm just gonna talk
Speaker 1: about what I want and you have to listen to something.
Speaker 1: So mainly is me just talking about how great I am?
Speaker 1: I love it. It's really function. I just love being like,
Speaker 1: look how great I am? You always look like a
Speaker 1: fucking million dollars or two. I love someone who puts
Speaker 1: a look together for a show. Yeah, you never know
Speaker 1: when it's your last one exactly. You might be photographed
Speaker 1: last show. Okay, and we're talking about that let's talk
Speaker 1: about as parents as a fear of mine, losing your parents, dying, dying,
Speaker 1: dying specifically before I achieve all the things that I
Speaker 1: want to achieve? Of course, do you actually think about death? Okay,
Speaker 1: so this is this is the thing I used to
Speaker 1: There was a period in my life I'm gonna say
Speaker 1: to three years ago where I thought about it legitimately
Speaker 1: every single day, and I was like, what's wrong with me?
Speaker 1: I haven't for a while, but like I think, Um,
Speaker 1: there's people that were friends with I don't want to
Speaker 1: speak for them, but They've revealed that they think about
Speaker 1: this every day, and I'm like, oh God, that's a
Speaker 1: bad what about death? Like, what about it? I think
Speaker 1: I was smoking some bad weed. I think that's what
Speaker 1: it was like. And each and every day I would
Speaker 1: get high, and it was the kind of weed like
Speaker 1: are being the kind of high where you're like, oh,
Speaker 1: I don't know how it's going to happen, but I
Speaker 1: am absolutely positive that a car is going to come
Speaker 1: in through the window and kill me right now. Like
Speaker 1: it was the weird I think. Yeah, growing up in
Speaker 1: the hood, the possibility was like for real, Like it
Speaker 1: was just real, and uh, I just haven't shook that. Yeah. Yeah,
Speaker 1: you've described to me very very elegant detail like brushes
Speaker 1: with like just like yeah, which is yeah, like that's
Speaker 1: a very apparent thing in my life, which is why
Speaker 1: a lot of other things are so easy. Like which
Speaker 1: is why I'm like, oh a character said, stand up.
Speaker 1: I'm like whatever I'm talking on stage, we're not dodging bullets,
Speaker 1: and everybody relaxed. Fuck wow. But like, what is what
Speaker 1: is in between death and a character set? Is there
Speaker 1: something in between? Okay? Do it? Are you a Disney queen? None? Yeah? Yeah?
Speaker 1: I mean particularly but like any amazing I love a
Speaker 1: theme part a phone o cake. Yes. Do you know
Speaker 1: what I just rediscovered or not rediscovered? Like I fully
Speaker 1: knew I was gonna. I went to Disneylandry only for
Speaker 1: my birthday. And I love a fucking turkey leg I
Speaker 1: love a big fucking hunk of meat in my hands.
Speaker 1: That's too much meat, so much, And that's the thing.
Speaker 1: That's the thing is the smell of it. You can
Speaker 1: get hooked ton and also the taste of the first
Speaker 1: My joke is I am a trip to fan of
Speaker 1: turkey until you get about halfway through and then you're
Speaker 1: just like sleep fucking messiest. Your hands are disaster, your
Speaker 1: mouth is a disaster. You can't get enough napkins in
Speaker 1: the place. I always forget about all the trip to
Speaker 1: fan in that. Oh yeah, tons of trip to fan
Speaker 1: on the stuff. What is a trip to fan? Trip
Speaker 1: to fan is a chemical in Turkey that makes you
Speaker 1: want to fall asleep and you get so tired on Thanksgiving.
Speaker 1: I didn't know that I should. Okay, I've been looking
Speaker 1: for a way to I'm taking a plane tomorrow night.
Speaker 1: I'm terrified of planes, but I'm on a wee break.
Speaker 1: I usually smoke a bunch of weed to go to
Speaker 1: sleep on planes. Sow. I'm trying to figure out a
Speaker 1: way to fall asleep and swell the pills, because like,
Speaker 1: that's the thing that I mentally cannot do. You can't
Speaker 1: do you cut them in half? I try? Can you
Speaker 1: can you grind them into like a bottle of water
Speaker 1: or something that's nasty. I don't know. There's no work
Speaker 1: around for this, I know, which is why I'm struggling,
Speaker 1: which is why I might just eat a bunch of
Speaker 1: turkey before I get on that turkey. Wait, Okay, A
Speaker 1: couple questions first, of all, where are you going New York?
Speaker 1: Just wait for how long? Wait? What? I go there
Speaker 1: tomorrow and I leave one Tuesday. Oh, I'm gonna miss
Speaker 1: you whatever, Okay, so it's gonna be there for a
Speaker 1: short time. Yeah, for a short period. I have things
Speaker 1: to take care of. Okay, he's got things to take
Speaker 1: care of that he can't talk about. Um. Second thing,
Speaker 1: why is there a weed break? Because I was smoking
Speaker 1: weed every day and I needed a tolerance break, okay,
Speaker 1: because it was taking me taking too much wet for
Speaker 1: me to get high. Yes, I took a break just
Speaker 1: when I smoke again and I can get high. Of course,
Speaker 1: very selfish? Is this is this physiologically proven to? Is
Speaker 1: this proven out where it's like if you take a break,
Speaker 1: then you then your tolerance will recalibrate and level back out. Yes,
Speaker 1: two weeks, two weeks, so what dare you? It will
Speaker 1: be fun? I don't know. Um, Monday is when I
Speaker 1: can smoke weed again, like Sunday evening. Yeah, Sunday evening,
Speaker 1: don't even don't even wait until the clocks. I love
Speaker 1: that you love weed, and I love that if we're
Speaker 1: on the same show, I know you'll have weed after
Speaker 1: the show from experiences. Did we smoke after the Blair
Speaker 1: and Greta show. I think we did. I smoked and
Speaker 1: for a show it's just very we Um. Being game
Speaker 1: black is just real hard. So I have to be
Speaker 1: high all the time. But just like as often I
Speaker 1: can still function right right because it's it blunts everything
Speaker 1: and it's gorgeous and that's why we do it. See,
Speaker 1: it doesn't relax me. It makes me a little paranoid.
Speaker 1: So that's why getting on planes is a tough one
Speaker 1: for me, because I, like you do, not like to fly.
Speaker 1: And if I'm up there and too high, it's like,
Speaker 1: oh my god, do you know how many feet are
Speaker 1: under me by now? Thirty three fucking thousand? Yes, I
Speaker 1: made a mistake. It can get too high, like right
Speaker 1: before I got on. So the plan you get really
Speaker 1: high before, so that when you're on the plane is
Speaker 1: the calm down. You're just very tired. You don't like
Speaker 1: get high to get on the total you know, you
Speaker 1: get high way before, way before while you're insecurity. Yes, yes, um,
Speaker 1: well let's figure out a solution for dwaining for tomorrow. Um,
Speaker 1: I think I mean my my Pitts dream. I mean,
Speaker 1: but it's it's not me, it's emotionally. You can't do
Speaker 1: it emotions because but it's like it's a tablet. Is
Speaker 1: it tiny? It's tiny. You can grind it up. It's
Speaker 1: like it's kind of like it's kind of like a
Speaker 1: not tech talk. It's like a sweeteart. It's like where
Speaker 1: it's like I'm one of the smarties. It's like you
Speaker 1: can do that, but you no capsule. That's what you're
Speaker 1: that's what you can't. I swallowed the pill the other day.
Speaker 1: I was shooting a commercial Oh brag, yeah, and uh
Speaker 1: I had allergies and I don't have them off in
Speaker 1: and one of the actresses was like, hey, swallow it
Speaker 1: is pill and I did? You did? It was very
Speaker 1: very actress. It's been a d and well that'll put
Speaker 1: you to leap. Really wonder if you if you are
Speaker 1: asked deep an allergies. I believe it takes care of
Speaker 1: the allergies. But if you don't have allergies and you
Speaker 1: just take a bena drill, then it puts you. I think.
Speaker 1: So if you can take a bena drill down the throat, baby,
Speaker 1: take a bentage. But like it was like because it's
Speaker 1: like very tiny, Like there's like two kinds of like
Speaker 1: the strong kind which you have to buy over the counter.
Speaker 1: It's like you can get sucked up and it's like
Speaker 1: the weak small pill that I took, a weak small pill.
Speaker 1: That's the famous Have you never been? Is it? Is
Speaker 1: it one of those things where it's like, okay, so
Speaker 1: you know how when you get older, all of a
Speaker 1: sudden things become fucked up and hard. Like when I
Speaker 1: was younger, I could crack an egg. Nowadays I can't
Speaker 1: crack a egg to save my life. Like I don't know,
Speaker 1: I was talking to grat This isn't like as you
Speaker 1: get older, like little things that we used to be easy,
Speaker 1: Like you used to fucking break an egg out of
Speaker 1: the carton. Snap, there we go, eggs in the pan.
Speaker 1: Now it's like I don't know how much forced to
Speaker 1: crack the egg with you're just too strong. I think
Speaker 1: that's what it is. My muscle master has become overwhelmingly
Speaker 1: a light like did you just put it on the
Speaker 1: rim of something? Tap tap light light and then and
Speaker 1: then you perforate just a little bit, and then you
Speaker 1: you tuck your thumb under and then you you are frail.
Speaker 1: You are small and frail. And when you go tap tap,
Speaker 1: it's not the same as when I go tap tap,
Speaker 1: it breaks all over the place. I have to be
Speaker 1: very careful with my big, big arms. I would say
Speaker 1: I did cook an egg two days ago and I
Speaker 1: tried to crack it and it just burst in my
Speaker 1: hand and hawk hulk. But okay, So could you swallow
Speaker 1: pills as a small child or this has always been
Speaker 1: a nightmare? No, Like medicine in general was just something
Speaker 1: that was hard to me. I had the flu like
Speaker 1: sometimes last year and I couldn't take pills, so take
Speaker 1: cough medicine and just like threw up in front of
Speaker 1: a rouse. It was very families eating ices. I seemed
Speaker 1: like digest like medicine. It's just there's like a mental block.
Speaker 1: I think I understand. Is you know what, Well, don't
Speaker 1: get very sick. I'm gonna get hypnotized. Oh I mean
Speaker 1: I gotta get hypnotized. I do for what. You know,
Speaker 1: you gotta get out of your own way. Well, no,
Speaker 1: it's not that. It's just never mind, it's it's it's this,
Speaker 1: it's this. I mean, there's I have to do that.
Speaker 1: But I mean the cigarettes are creeping their way back.
Speaker 1: That's so stupid, and I and well, one thing is
Speaker 1: that what does that mean? They're fully back? Not no,
Speaker 1: not fully back. It's just I'll be like, hey, can
Speaker 1: I bomp something? And I'll just smoke like like a
Speaker 1: couple of times, but I want There's this book apparently
Speaker 1: that's called how to Quit or something that everybody is like,
Speaker 1: you read this, read this book, and you will quit.
Speaker 1: But you only you can only quit. You can only
Speaker 1: attempt one quitting attempt. Basically as you use the book
Speaker 1: won't work or else the book won't work. If you
Speaker 1: If the book won't work, if you read the book,
Speaker 1: you quit, and then you you fall off the bog
Speaker 1: and start back up. Then you're fucked and you have
Speaker 1: no recourse at all. So like a magic books, like
Speaker 1: a spell books. Yes, yes it's that book, and um
Speaker 1: oh my god, that big book with the eye. Yes,
Speaker 1: and she goes boo yes, yes, yes famously. Bett Miller
Speaker 1: like if you're I E and Nicole is, then Bett
Speaker 1: Miller is boo, dwyne, what's your sound? Go don't think
Speaker 1: about it to mine And then I was like sure, yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: I mean outside Chicago really came out. That's that's the trademark. Okay,
Speaker 1: it's different from mine, which is wow. I love that,
Speaker 1: and I e is a little Mine's very resonance, right right. So,
Speaker 1: but I was going to say that I should go
Speaker 1: see Hypnotist to Yeah, honestly, I can't believe you started
Speaker 1: smoking snakes again whatever. I don't like that at all,
Speaker 1: and I'm so vocal about how I don't want you to.
Speaker 1: You are very vocal about it. I must say, I've
Speaker 1: never smoked a cigarette. Really, there's no you're not missing anything. Well,
Speaker 1: you don't do it. I can't claim that I've never
Speaker 1: smoked one. But but like, you can't regularly smoke I mean,
Speaker 1: come on, guys, it's actually a rule of culture number
Speaker 1: one hundred. You can't regularly smoke cigarettes. So you can't.
Speaker 1: You know, it's it's it's it's my journey, and it's
Speaker 1: it's fine speaking of journeys. Speaking of journeys and things,
Speaker 1: I think we get into this question with Doyne. We
Speaker 1: asked this of all our guests, Dwayne, what is the
Speaker 1: culture that made you say culture is for me? This
Speaker 1: is the pop culture that was formative for you, that
Speaker 1: has created the Dwayne we are sitting with today, Yeah,
Speaker 1: there's a couple. One major one was Power Rangers. Yeah,
Speaker 1: phenomenon change, I have a power Oh I have another
Speaker 1: tattoo that I didn't check. You have a tattoo that's
Speaker 1: like it's on It's in very beautiful calligraphy. This is
Speaker 1: It's morphan time on my Yeah, Zach, the Black Ranger
Speaker 1: just really gave me everythingsolute Tito. He wore pants. Yeah,
Speaker 1: is he in the movie? I know he was not.
Speaker 1: He was gone by then. It was that was but
Speaker 1: but but the Blue Ranger was black in the movie, right, No,
Speaker 1: the Blue Ranger was one with the glasses in the movie.
Speaker 1: He was black in the new movie and the New
Speaker 1: Black Yes, Okay, did we like the new movie? I
Speaker 1: actually did. I actually I loved it. It doesn't have
Speaker 1: the nostalgic fill of the first one. County Ivan News, yes,
Speaker 1: a full county. Yeah, we need County Ivan News. And also,
Speaker 1: but I did appreciate about the new one. Elizabeth Banks
Speaker 1: as reader repulse. I thought that was inspired. Also loved
Speaker 1: the Becky g moment for I Live for a Queer
Speaker 1: Becky Becky G was great. And then but read a
Speaker 1: repulsa just saying Crispy Creme Crispy Creme all over again,
Speaker 1: Brian Bryan, Brian Cranston. Yes, and also fucking hot, asked
Speaker 1: a daker Montgomery, who has the red Ranger is about
Speaker 1: to say name? I was shocked as well. Is he
Speaker 1: Australian regular white? He's not regular. He's a white. He's
Speaker 1: a which means worse. He's hum worth. He's a beach white.
Speaker 1: He's a surfer white. He's one of those like Australians
Speaker 1: that except I will say this, Australians they can turn
Speaker 1: out a good American accent. Sometimes I'm like, what the
Speaker 1: funk when I find out the Australian like like like
Speaker 1: the kids from Riverdale, he's Kiwi. I don't know where
Speaker 1: that what? That's where that New Zealand, New Zealand. The
Speaker 1: main guy, Yes, the redhead that he's Kiwi, like straight
Speaker 1: up Geraldine, Geraldine, Geraldine does such a she does very good.
Speaker 1: But Jean is that like an old black lady who
Speaker 1: is with gerald Dame. You're right, You're right, gerald Dame.
Speaker 1: She's she's a wonderful young Australian Indian Australian. So she's
Speaker 1: a friend of a fan is like, so she like
Speaker 1: cloaks it so fucking well, we have to get her.
Speaker 1: She's a friend of the man and a very very,
Speaker 1: very good person. But here's the thing, Like I think
Speaker 1: I would. I can't tell if I would do a
Speaker 1: horrible British slash Australian accent if I were called for.
Speaker 1: I mean, that's a tough thing to do. It's hard,
Speaker 1: it's hard. But anyway, would you Okay, do you think
Speaker 1: you would you think you would do I think you
Speaker 1: might do a good British I was in the last
Speaker 1: play I did. I had to play British and it
Speaker 1: was at the time it was good. I don't remember
Speaker 1: it now because people get into like read when it's
Speaker 1: when people start getting into regionality ship, I'm like, oh
Speaker 1: well now it's like now I'm in my head and
Speaker 1: now I'm like, I can't tell if I'm doing if
Speaker 1: I'm doing Leads or Cockney or whatever the fuck. You know. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I can never tell what kind of British accent I'm
Speaker 1: going to start doing before I do. But then you
Speaker 1: commit to it once you do it. Yeah, Like I
Speaker 1: think sometimes you often slip into like whatever Adele does,
Speaker 1: and you know she's very much lower class, right, Okay,
Speaker 1: let me see what comes out okay, each like oh yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yes,
Speaker 1: very easy to slip into this. And then there's also
Speaker 1: the south Shield accent. The people that talk like this,
Speaker 1: like the Beatles almost, but also the Cheryl Cole from
Speaker 1: X Factor has this accent. And I was watching a
Speaker 1: lot of British television and she offered them talk let
Speaker 1: me see. I think that what I have is sort
Speaker 1: of wins a royalty accent, extremely Buckingham from rich. Yes,
Speaker 1: like I'm what's a phase from down the crown. The
Speaker 1: way she speaks, it's quite you know, there's a there's
Speaker 1: a word. Um, there's a word the Queen's British, the Queen,
Speaker 1: the Queen, the Queen's British. There's there's one word, um
Speaker 1: like oh this is the this is the word that
Speaker 1: calibrates it for me. Quite quiet. And then if you
Speaker 1: if you, if you see quiet in my head, that
Speaker 1: by so okay, this is I'm really glad we're exploring
Speaker 1: power power Rangers. But we have talked about power Rangers Mark,
Speaker 1: because there's no way we can just keep over it
Speaker 1: because that's too much. It's it's like when we just
Speaker 1: talked about the Spice Girls. With Karen and Christina. I
Speaker 1: was like, I can't believe we haven't talked about the
Speaker 1: Spice Girls yet. I killed this way talked about Power Rangers.
Speaker 1: So you were a fan from an early age? Yes?
Speaker 1: How old are yeah? Well the same age? Okay, so
Speaker 1: we had the o G Power Rangers, but I like
Speaker 1: stayed on for what I see, Um, I see, I
Speaker 1: stayed on. You know where I fell off with Power
Speaker 1: Rangers while Force, Yeah, I'm talking about that didn't murder somebody?
Speaker 1: And can I tell you the hottest Power Ranger to
Speaker 1: every absolutely that the Red Ranger from Wild Force, and
Speaker 1: that first episode of Wild Force was very well done.
Speaker 1: That hair. I don't know what was this? What was
Speaker 1: the deal with the hair? He he was like he
Speaker 1: was like a jungle boy. Yeah, we don't mean that
Speaker 1: he was basically white Mowgli and I don't think so,
Speaker 1: honey of that. Oh, we have to talk about Hot
Speaker 1: Associate producer Alec Happens. H A. P A is with us.
Speaker 1: Are only hot ones, they are only hot ones of
Speaker 1: all genders. But Happa is a fellow Denver. Right, we
Speaker 1: talked about he went to g w Iman to smokey Hell,
Speaker 1: we got a good banana shirt, me Happa and doing
Speaker 1: all were at I Be. We all had a long
Speaker 1: conversation about what our hls were, and you know, it
Speaker 1: was a beautiful esoteric moment. And I don't speak this language.
Speaker 1: I was an ap child on the East Coast and
Speaker 1: you were just true, true apple. But anyway, we can't
Speaker 1: leave the power. I just again, um, but I will
Speaker 1: say this, the first great love story of my time
Speaker 1: was Kimberly and Tommy the Pink Ranger. And I guess
Speaker 1: green Ranger turned into white Ranger turned into black. He
Speaker 1: was he was, he was moving throughout the colors. Kimberly
Speaker 1: stayed pink. Kimberly stayed pink. She was like the first Yeah,
Speaker 1: she was like a true nineties icon Amy Joe Johnson.
Speaker 1: Johnson and I feel like every single town had some
Speaker 1: urban legend where where they were like our drama teacher knows,
Speaker 1: Amy Joe Johnson, there was like a stunt. It's such
Speaker 1: a it's such a dumb stuy. She was a star.
Speaker 1: There was something about her. She was definitely the one
Speaker 1: that stood out like she was like popped. But maybe
Speaker 1: it was just because like she was like the girl.
Speaker 1: Because they weren't like sexualizing the women of color she
Speaker 1: had at like she was. She was also in a
Speaker 1: Disney original movie called susan Fantastic as well thing and
Speaker 1: that that movie is fucking sad. It is this. I
Speaker 1: don't know why they made that into a movie. Do
Speaker 1: you know about vague? Okay, So just for the listeners
Speaker 1: who don't know about susie Que, we should just go
Speaker 1: through susie Q. So susie Que begins in the year nine,
Speaker 1: and susie Q is a high school girl who gets
Speaker 1: asked out to the dance or maybe the prom or
Speaker 1: something from homecoming one of those days. Right, She's going
Speaker 1: a gorgeous pink dress and her day comes a picture
Speaker 1: up in the car her parents he are off and
Speaker 1: they get into a car accident on the way of
Speaker 1: the dancedge on a bridge and the bridge like falls
Speaker 1: into the lake or whatever, and then she a ghost.
Speaker 1: She dies, and then like it's in the modern time
Speaker 1: and she's the ghost has to like help this other
Speaker 1: high school boy like do something. Yeah, and that kind
Speaker 1: of falls in love with the ghost. It's a whole
Speaker 1: they definitely there's an unfinished business narrative. It's very odd,
Speaker 1: but Amy Joe Johnson plays susie Q, And also I
Speaker 1: remember about susie Q that she was like bleeding from
Speaker 1: the head when she died, and I was like, this
Speaker 1: is like fully a Disney. I don't know. It was dark.
Speaker 1: It was dark dealt with death like we discussed we
Speaker 1: discussed earlier. Kim really popped. But I feel like Triny
Speaker 1: tran Triny Kwon played by Tweet trying who tragical? Who
Speaker 1: did die? And this is crazy? No, god, wait, that
Speaker 1: was so fucking sad. I don't remember when that did
Speaker 1: that happen? Like late odds, like after like by the
Speaker 1: time we had grown out. She wasn't in the movie
Speaker 1: because in the in the In the Mighty Morphine Power
Speaker 1: Rangers movie, Aisha was the Yellow Range yes right, and
Speaker 1: I fucking lived for yeah. I loved her place by
Speaker 1: her African cousin Tanya. Oh my god, she was. And
Speaker 1: like in the series, Aisha went to Africa and switched
Speaker 1: with her cousin, Ta goes to Africa. So in season
Speaker 1: three there's a spell where they all become little kids,
Speaker 1: and so then little kid Aisha goes to Africa and
Speaker 1: she's like, I'm just gonna stay here switched with her
Speaker 1: and she came back. I was like, I guess I'll
Speaker 1: be the Yellow Ranger, which you know, just means they
Speaker 1: were done with the actress. Absolutely, we need a new black.
Speaker 1: They were like, we can't deal with whatever you're serving
Speaker 1: right now. Strange fact that actress was also in the
Speaker 1: movie Rent. She was one of the singers that was
Speaker 1: singing about having it's there. I just like remember like
Speaker 1: Power Rangers as actors like in the movie not another
Speaker 1: team movie. The actress who has her titties out was
Speaker 1: the Yellow Rangers and Power Rangers Lost Galaxy. Wait, we
Speaker 1: have a true scholar with YEA Rangers. Okay, can you
Speaker 1: can you do this? Can you go in order of
Speaker 1: the franchises? I can try. There's like to point, Okay,
Speaker 1: let me it's first it's Mighty Morphine Power Rangers, Yes,
Speaker 1: And then within Mighty Morphine there's Mighty Morphin Anglian Rangers,
Speaker 1: because Anglian Rangers come in right uh. And then there's
Speaker 1: within the first three seasons as Mighty Morphine. But then
Speaker 1: they get their nin Jetti powers, which much of any
Speaker 1: more from Power Rangers movie it's based on. I loved
Speaker 1: that story in the movie by I loved that because
Speaker 1: Dulcia the little lady with the little whippy things. Oh
Speaker 1: my god. It was everything and more. Yes. And then
Speaker 1: after that it was they get the Zeo Crystals Ceo.
Speaker 1: That's when Tommy becomes the Red Ranger in the Leader.
Speaker 1: And then after that was Turbo, which is what the
Speaker 1: second Power Rangers movie was based off of. But then
Speaker 1: at this point we've swapped. It's different people. Yes, this
Speaker 1: is now like um where they had Justin who was
Speaker 1: like the little boy who grew when he morphed. That
Speaker 1: was in Turbo. Yeah, that was that's when slightly jumped
Speaker 1: the shark. Like that point your post, Zo, you're saying, no,
Speaker 1: I don't like no. No kids they all have to
Speaker 1: be teens. Kids are not canton for me. He was
Speaker 1: a literal child. But then he mouret he grew two feet.
Speaker 1: It was strange. Don't need that. Then after that it
Speaker 1: was Turbo and then Spaces Space when they just go
Speaker 1: to space, that's when the lead androws and his sister Andernima,
Speaker 1: she was the Eva person. They turned out to be twins. Uh.
Speaker 1: It was like a soap opera. And then after that
Speaker 1: as Powering just lost Galaxy that's the one with the
Speaker 1: lady from not Another Team movies Who to be Seen.
Speaker 1: And after that as Power Rangers light Speed Rescued, light
Speaker 1: Speed Rescue. But they were just like a firefighting team.
Speaker 1: They had a great lights to be rescued, a great
Speaker 1: theme song. Yes, Risco light Speed. It was bantastic to
Speaker 1: I truly listened to that theme song probably once a month.
Speaker 1: It is fantastic. This is unbelievable. Yeah yeah, yeah, but
Speaker 1: that's when like the Power Rangers were republic and people
Speaker 1: like knew that because they were just like public servants
Speaker 1: they were as firefighters. Yeah. And then after that he
Speaker 1: was Time Force. Yes, Time Force first was great. That's
Speaker 1: when they were working with time. Um, you know what
Speaker 1: you can you can do so much with that. If
Speaker 1: you have the abilities to have and you have the
Speaker 1: access to then go ahead. And I trust the Power
Speaker 1: Ranger said it right. It was great. There was a
Speaker 1: guy with green hair who had like a robot bird
Speaker 1: and then what was that? I think it was Wild
Speaker 1: Force with this guy that Bowen thinks is hot. Turned
Speaker 1: out the narrative that I love so hot, it's crazy.
Speaker 1: I think I masturbated to him as like as like
Speaker 1: a fourteen year old. I think I probably masturbated to
Speaker 1: Tommy and Jason and Billy and Zack and all the
Speaker 1: original ones without knowing what I was doing. I was
Speaker 1: like humping the like this table, you know, I thought
Speaker 1: was really hot. T J. He was the one that
Speaker 1: was He was like he was in Para just turbo
Speaker 1: and in space He's like black Ball. It had like
Speaker 1: a really nice mold next days, Oh J. Very handsome. Um,
Speaker 1: David Yost is billy Billy. He is at all. He
Speaker 1: has all the drag huns, he has his own booth.
Speaker 1: Is he gay? He's gay? Yeah, I love that and
Speaker 1: he has he just brings the blue helmet and he
Speaker 1: just has it there and he'll he'll take your picture.
Speaker 1: He's very nice. It's known that he um was experiencing
Speaker 1: a lot of homophobia on the set. Really is that's something?
Speaker 1: I think? You make that a fucking movie. Yeah, I
Speaker 1: would love to star in that. You would be a
Speaker 1: great billy David. And I'm sorry, I'm gonna say this,
Speaker 1: I would be a great hotter David Yost. Stop it,
Speaker 1: David that um, but let me have that. I'm a
Speaker 1: hot David Yost. Dwayne, Is there someone in Power Rangers. Okay,
Speaker 1: you tell us what franchise he would want to be
Speaker 1: in and what color and what power we would whatever. Um.
Speaker 1: I still think like the Ninjetti season was like my
Speaker 1: favorite one because they're because they had like pre outfits before.
Speaker 1: They love a pre outfit. They're like, we're gonna have
Speaker 1: these like Ninja outfits and then when things get too rough,
Speaker 1: and I would like to be the White Ranger, like
Speaker 1: there was like something real about angels. Yes, because they
Speaker 1: gave him like a gold embellishment on his on his shoulders, right, yes,
Speaker 1: like I remember the White Ranger got like a little
Speaker 1: bit more like that was like clearly the leader. He
Speaker 1: had his own sword, yes, his weapon. He had a
Speaker 1: talking sword that were like talk. He had like a
Speaker 1: tiger like his sword. It was fantastic. Okay. Did you
Speaker 1: play with the Power Rangers toys? Okay? So whenever I
Speaker 1: would get new Power Rangers toys, it was a fucking moment.
Speaker 1: Like I remember, like the ones where you would get
Speaker 1: all the action figures and they came with their own
Speaker 1: little what do you call them? Like swords? What are
Speaker 1: they called? So then you put them all together and
Speaker 1: they made up they made the big one, the Mega sword. Okay,
Speaker 1: that was my full ship. Yes, all of the action
Speaker 1: figures like they had like a button where it flips,
Speaker 1: so there yea y. I The one my favorite toy
Speaker 1: I think I ever had was the Power Rangers, Like
Speaker 1: all the George would come together and it was the
Speaker 1: pink on was the crane, the yellow one was the bear,
Speaker 1: and this just went with the movie. And I forget,
Speaker 1: I remember the green, the black almost the frog, and
Speaker 1: I forget what the rest of them were. But and
Speaker 1: then the was the falcon. Yes there. I truly loved
Speaker 1: that the black one was a frog and that whatever
Speaker 1: his name was, Adam, Adam hated it, yes, and Dolcia
Speaker 1: it was like, Adam, why are you mad? And he
Speaker 1: was like because I'm a frog and she was like yeah,
Speaker 1: two kids and turn into a print. God. Maybe last
Speaker 1: week wait, oh my god, Dulcia was the Queen Queen.
Speaker 1: The title of episode is Queen Dulcia. I think to
Speaker 1: be more accessible. I love that, but maybe we should
Speaker 1: do It's morphant time. It's morphant time because it is.
Speaker 1: It is morphant time. It's truly morphant time. Yeah, that's
Speaker 1: a phrase that I really take with me, which means
Speaker 1: like it's time to be a bad bit. Yes. Honestly,
Speaker 1: time I go into a general it's morphan time. Unbelievable,
Speaker 1: whoa every time I fucking every time I pull my
Speaker 1: dick out to jerk off. Honestly, things change, they do
Speaker 1: the okay question, you have a second thing that you
Speaker 1: were saying was that this is more like sentimental. It's
Speaker 1: the curse of Monte Cristo. So this is like a
Speaker 1: very important moment in my life. So I had a
Speaker 1: very bad stutter for a large part of my life.
Speaker 1: I had to speach therapy for fifteen years and and
Speaker 1: it was like fourth or fifth grade. Um, my teachers
Speaker 1: would hate calling me because like I was very smart,
Speaker 1: and I'd be like, I know the answer, but it
Speaker 1: would be so hard to get out. And I remember
Speaker 1: I volunteered to read like an excerpt from the like
Speaker 1: an expert from the play the Cursor Monte Cristo. And
Speaker 1: it's the first time where I read something and didn't stutter.
Speaker 1: And I realized that when I'm like reading or acting,
Speaker 1: I did not stutter. And that was like the beginning
Speaker 1: of me finding that out. And that's how I got
Speaker 1: into like perform because I was like, Oh, when I'm
Speaker 1: not saying my own words, it's easier to talk because
Speaker 1: I don't have to think about the words because they're
Speaker 1: given to me. And it was just like a very
Speaker 1: like oh ah ha moment. Okay, that's amazing. So do
Speaker 1: you think that your stutter was a social thing or
Speaker 1: an anxiety things? So stuttering as like a science, it's
Speaker 1: not really. People don't know why someone stutters or why
Speaker 1: they stop, but you have so like with my speech therapy,
Speaker 1: I had to have normal therapy just to be like,
Speaker 1: we have to figure out what is triggering the stutter.
Speaker 1: And it turns out mine was anxiety based. So when
Speaker 1: I was like talking to people, I would get I
Speaker 1: hated talking to people because I was like, oh, I'm
Speaker 1: going to stutter. I don't like this, and that would
Speaker 1: make me stutter more So when I didn't have to
Speaker 1: think of my own words, that anxiety wasn't there because
Speaker 1: I was like, oh, I don't have to think about
Speaker 1: what I'm going to say. I can just say it.
Speaker 1: It's there. Yes. And then now that I'm older, because
Speaker 1: I don't give a funk about what I say, I
Speaker 1: don't stutter because I don't care what comes out of
Speaker 1: my mouth. Does does the stutter ever come back? It
Speaker 1: does normally in situations where I'm very anxious, right right,
Speaker 1: And for me personally, it was based on my certain sounds.
Speaker 1: So like saying a D was hard, which is very
Speaker 1: difficult because my name starts with the D. So sometimes
Speaker 1: when I'm introducing myself, I stuttered. I'm like, hi, I
Speaker 1: am whoa Dwayne? Like I had to like red, like okay, yeah,
Speaker 1: it's a whole thing. God, I mean there is something
Speaker 1: truly like, by the way, thank you so much. And
Speaker 1: though no one here is religious, yeah, no one here's religious.
Speaker 1: Um I honestly, well, I don't know. I feel like
Speaker 1: I experienced, Oh this is something. This is my equivalent
Speaker 1: to you cracking an egg and not knowing how to
Speaker 1: do it as you grow up. Great. I feel like
Speaker 1: now that I'm older, I have a harder time putting
Speaker 1: things into words, and then I have these silences and
Speaker 1: then people will just like just like like zoom the
Speaker 1: funk out while I'm talking and like not pay attention
Speaker 1: to me, and then I get even more anxious than
Speaker 1: I'm like, oh well, now there's no I need a
Speaker 1: course correct and what do I do? And like it's
Speaker 1: truly a weird thing that I am maybe just starting
Speaker 1: to notice now that I've done all my life. But
Speaker 1: it is this weird, like newfound social anxiety I have.
Speaker 1: That's interesting anyway, something something I used to do growing
Speaker 1: up and now I I eliminated. But they almost sent
Speaker 1: me to therapy about it too, they being my parents. Um,
Speaker 1: I would say something and then I would say something
Speaker 1: like I would say I would say a sentence and
Speaker 1: I would say a sense like I would repeat it
Speaker 1: after in a really quiet voice. I think it was
Speaker 1: because I wanted to check with myself that what I
Speaker 1: had said was like good or cool. So I think
Speaker 1: it was I just want to check at myself. But
Speaker 1: my mom was always like stop doing that, and I
Speaker 1: was like stop. What was really fucked up is that
Speaker 1: when I was a kid, because the stutter was anxiety based,
Speaker 1: I couldn't lie, So like when I would lie, I
Speaker 1: would automatically stutter, So whenever I would lie, my parents
Speaker 1: would be like, you're not telling the truth. So I
Speaker 1: just like, I couldn't lie as a kid. But honestly, yeah,
Speaker 1: that's crazy. But what I was gonna say also, is
Speaker 1: that fucking growing up with any sort of speech impediment.
Speaker 1: I think, like it's so it's I don't know, it's
Speaker 1: just tough. It's not enough just just in school, but
Speaker 1: just the kids are so fucking relentless and cruel about
Speaker 1: Oh they're terrible, which is right, this is something that
Speaker 1: I say in stand ups was fine, which is like
Speaker 1: I tried to kill him a kid when I was young.
Speaker 1: This is getting dark. But I was getting bullied pretty
Speaker 1: heavily because I was like a very young, small gay
Speaker 1: child who had a speech and like I was like
Speaker 1: the poster child for a bullying and I was getting
Speaker 1: like physically like beat up. And one day I brought
Speaker 1: like garden shears to school to like I was going
Speaker 1: to stab this kid. But I didn't because I got
Speaker 1: tackled teacher. So it's fine, And my school was just like, yo,
Speaker 1: you gotta relax. I was like, you're right, that's fine.
Speaker 1: I bet you wouldn't have done it had the moment come.
Speaker 1: I don't know it was. I mean, technically my school
Speaker 1: like made me like special education and my parents, like
Speaker 1: I only was out of it because my mother worked
Speaker 1: at the school and she was like, hey, don't like
Speaker 1: he that's not correct, Like he's very smart, like he
Speaker 1: has the ability to not be in special education. So
Speaker 1: then I wasn't. But I had to constantly prove, which
Speaker 1: is why I was like I be because I was like, well,
Speaker 1: the only way I can prove I'm not like mentally
Speaker 1: handicapped is by constantly showing how smart I can be.
Speaker 1: And then that made me to an ego mania by
Speaker 1: eighth grade. I literally wrote my eighth grade teacher, I
Speaker 1: know would be like, these are the ways you could
Speaker 1: be a better teacher, because I'm very smart. I know everything.
Speaker 1: He dragged me. Yeah, that's beautiful ego and kids is
Speaker 1: no joke. I remember I there was the thing called Excel,
Speaker 1: the Excel program at my school, like it was kind
Speaker 1: of like for the quote unquote like um gifted and
Speaker 1: talented kids like and I remember I took the test
Speaker 1: and I did not get in, which made no sense
Speaker 1: to me. I was like, I am so much more
Speaker 1: intelligent than these clowns you have in the Excel program.
Speaker 1: This there has to be some mistake. And I remember
Speaker 1: like they wouldn't let me take it again. And so
Speaker 1: it was I had such a chip on my shoulder
Speaker 1: forever that I wasn't in this program and it was
Speaker 1: just like the kids that were in it were absolutely insufferable.
Speaker 1: And I feel like this is a criticism I have
Speaker 1: with like the school system at large, is like you
Speaker 1: so consciously separate these kids at such an early age
Speaker 1: based on these stupid bullshit that doesn't do anything for them.
Speaker 1: And then like like in high school, of course there's
Speaker 1: like honors classes, A, P, I, B. Whatever, accelerated because
Speaker 1: that's where they're all at. But these fucking kids, Like
Speaker 1: when when all the kids are seven and eight years old,
Speaker 1: put them all on the same fucking class. When you
Speaker 1: were in elementary school, where your classes the different classes ranked.
Speaker 1: No elementary school, like at my school, like from I
Speaker 1: went to a private school until second grade, then I
Speaker 1: got transferred to like this public school. We're literally on
Speaker 1: the first I got beat up. But like from second
Speaker 1: to eighth grade, each class was like ranked like this
Speaker 1: is like the highest with the smartest kids, second highest.
Speaker 1: Like what they did was they would put like if
Speaker 1: there was like twenty kids in the class, there'll be
Speaker 1: eight kids that were more advanced, eight kids that were
Speaker 1: in the middle, and eight kids that were like less
Speaker 1: and less less advanced. Like but it was like by classroom,
Speaker 1: So they put all the smartest kids in one class
Speaker 1: and like the next, like you were ranked by like
Speaker 1: how smart you within the grade. They wouldn't like rank
Speaker 1: the grades against each other. Within the grade, the students
Speaker 1: the classes would be ran. Yes, so like within like
Speaker 1: second grade, it was like, oh, this teacher teaches a
Speaker 1: smart kids. This teacher teaches the second smartest kids, and
Speaker 1: that's the dumb class. That's insane. We had we had
Speaker 1: we had one special ed class, I remember that, and
Speaker 1: then all the other classes. I believe the way they
Speaker 1: did it was they there was like a range of
Speaker 1: children I guess like in terms of in terms of aptitude.
Speaker 1: But then of course when you get to middle school
Speaker 1: in high school they separate you into like honors classes whatever.
Speaker 1: But okay, because like when I first transferred to that school,
Speaker 1: I was playing in the lowest because they were like, oh,
Speaker 1: you have a speech patient. And then I kept like
Speaker 1: moving different classes. They're like, oh, you're too smart for
Speaker 1: this class, too smart for this class. That'll do Yeah,
Speaker 1: I mean that that that that that's going to like
Speaker 1: internalize some like motivational force for you for the rest
Speaker 1: of your life. Yeah, you wonder what the best way
Speaker 1: to do that is is because like kids are not dumb,
Speaker 1: like you know what I mean, Like when they see
Speaker 1: as early as second grade that they're being separated, Like
Speaker 1: I wonder what that does, Just how much effort some
Speaker 1: kid puts in, you know, totally Well, I'm blocking this
Speaker 1: out because like when I first moved to the US,
Speaker 1: it was just like really crazy. I'm not gonna say traumatic.
Speaker 1: It was just like I had to like learn English
Speaker 1: all of a sudden and like just like just like
Speaker 1: cat the funk up and like whatever. But I think
Speaker 1: they did do a thing where fourth and fifth grade
Speaker 1: they like ranked the students and it was like a castless,
Speaker 1: bullshit nonsense thing where they're just like posted on the
Speaker 1: goddamn wall. We had that in school, and then we
Speaker 1: had a gold star ship. Well yeah, yeah, I mean
Speaker 1: but I think yeah as early as elementary school. And
Speaker 1: also also this is how you know this is all bullshit, y'all.
Speaker 1: I mean back in the day at least um early
Speaker 1: as I walked. I was not gifted in talented myself
Speaker 1: in the in the fourth grade, but I but here's
Speaker 1: what happened. I literally my friend Danny Wetmore was in
Speaker 1: the Gift and in Talented class, and I wanted to
Speaker 1: go hang out with him after recess. So I walked
Speaker 1: into the Gift and Intalented room where all they did
Speaker 1: was play fucking like math blasters, and I walked That's
Speaker 1: all they did. They did not learn. Now, they went
Speaker 1: on field trips that we couldn't go. They want to
Speaker 1: field and they played computer games all day. That is
Speaker 1: what they do. It's like a fucking it's like sucking
Speaker 1: like green room lounge with computers, like that's all it was.
Speaker 1: But I walk in there and then the teacher Ms.
Speaker 1: Ms Swift or something. She was just like cookie lady.
Speaker 1: She was like, oh you're, oh hello, what are you?
Speaker 1: You're you're a new student in the class, will come
Speaker 1: join And like I was putting get into town to
Speaker 1: because they walked into that room and the teacher was
Speaker 1: like yes, I assume maybe who knows if it was
Speaker 1: as near. But she was like crazy. They had the
Speaker 1: dumb teacher that allowed that. Ms. Swift more like miss Dumb, Yeah,
Speaker 1: there you go. That's why I should be in Gifted
Speaker 1: and Talented. That joke, but like it's all a fucking it.
Speaker 1: It is a joke. It's dumb anyway, I just feel
Speaker 1: like And then but then on the same token, it's
Speaker 1: like I don't know if you if you have a
Speaker 1: class that's like where everyone's spread out, like do you
Speaker 1: want to like slow down the learning for the kids
Speaker 1: that need it quicker? But also doesn't matter. I think
Speaker 1: what you do psychologically to a child at a young age,
Speaker 1: if you tell them you're dumber than the other kids, like,
Speaker 1: that's fucked up. Not everyone's mentally strong enough to handle that. Yeah,
Speaker 1: it definitely had an effect for sure. Yeah, and so
Speaker 1: that's why I my child into the monestary school. I
Speaker 1: want to have kids. Why I don't think we're gonna
Speaker 1: have kids. I'm not having a child, no, no, for
Speaker 1: what reason? For what? So that they can boil to
Speaker 1: death truly also not for nothing. But this all, this
Speaker 1: type of school is making me think of the Felicity
Speaker 1: Hoffman Laurie Laughlin, which is the college Scams, which is
Speaker 1: literally it's so funny to me. We're recording this week
Speaker 1: by the way, that this just happened to This is
Speaker 1: Thursday that this just happened. So we don't know when
Speaker 1: this episode is coming out, but it could be soon,
Speaker 1: could be in a little while, but we are recording
Speaker 1: this days after it's reported that as many as fifty
Speaker 1: people would have been arrested. CEOs, A couple of actresses,
Speaker 1: college coaches, people in education, et cetera. Who we're part
Speaker 1: of a bribery scheme to get children into college despite
Speaker 1: them not deserving it, and like they made their children
Speaker 1: appear like they were better candidates for IVY like schools
Speaker 1: and although also schools like usc Um than they were.
Speaker 1: So this is so crazy to me because you couldn't
Speaker 1: pick two more random actresses than Felicity, so fucking random.
Speaker 1: And so we've been saying in the room, like Chris
Speaker 1: Kelly was like, wow, Lori Laughlin can't get top billing,
Speaker 1: and I was like, yeah, Felicity Huffman will never be
Speaker 1: a star by herself. Always got to be in a
Speaker 1: group with another like actress. Like it's just so funny
Speaker 1: to me. And then also what's also hilarious is the
Speaker 1: courtroom drawings of them. Oh they look so did you
Speaker 1: see Evan Ross cats like made them into toad bags.
Speaker 1: I need that with a distress white woman on it. Yes, yes,
Speaker 1: a distress white woman on the stand for being able
Speaker 1: to pay five thousand dollars, so it looks like her
Speaker 1: daughter road crew. That is insane to me. Dollars. It's
Speaker 1: like conduct for your kids to you already, just let
Speaker 1: your kids just enjoy your wealth. That is stupid. Y
Speaker 1: tweeted something funny. She goes, it's okay to admit that
Speaker 1: your kid is dumb, like the mediocrity that you are,
Speaker 1: that you must possess to need to have five hundred
Speaker 1: thousand dollars paid on your behalf to get into like
Speaker 1: USC when you're like, live in California and your parents
Speaker 1: are who they are, not for nothing. I'm very cresent
Speaker 1: if there was like a negotiation situation like she was
Speaker 1: like and they were like, no, she's dumb, and she's
Speaker 1: like two hundreds, but she's sucking stupid. God wait, I
Speaker 1: need to watch the vlogs of the daughter. Well did
Speaker 1: you know that Laura Laughlin's daughter had a press conference?
Speaker 1: She was like, I didn't even want to go to college.
Speaker 1: She's being such a bit to go to prison. And
Speaker 1: she's like, well, I guess I didn't even want to
Speaker 1: go to college and they made me. So have they
Speaker 1: found Laura yet? Yeah? They found her. Yeah, they both
Speaker 1: turned themselves in ye. But for a while, wasn't lord
Speaker 1: trying to escape? She's trying to find like safe pass.
Speaker 1: There's a whole thing. Isn't that incredible? And her daughter
Speaker 1: was like on a yacht with people and to leave
Speaker 1: the usc yacht. This is beautiful, it's so, it's so
Speaker 1: there's it's perfect, just unadulterated shot in Freuda. Like you
Speaker 1: just you love that these people are suffering because they
Speaker 1: deserve it, because my favorite things. So I mean, I'm
Speaker 1: sure the kids are like fucking nightmares, but it also
Speaker 1: does make me feel bad for them a little bit,
Speaker 1: a little bit because a little bit just because as
Speaker 1: a young person you have your whole life to get better.
Speaker 1: Their parents are freaking miserable and selfish and whatever. But
Speaker 1: like I do feel bad that at no point now
Speaker 1: can they turn it around? Like it's like, yes, sure
Speaker 1: they can. I don't know. I don't think this is
Speaker 1: going to affect them in any way. They they're all
Speaker 1: zero sympathy. Like do you think they won't get kicked
Speaker 1: out of school? I think even if they fucking do,
Speaker 1: they'll be fine. If you can pay five dollars to
Speaker 1: get your child into college. They don't go to it does.
Speaker 1: They're also fully Instagram stars. I forget sometimes that no
Speaker 1: publicity is bad publicity. Like I really forgot that publicity
Speaker 1: of these people they're gonna be. They're gonna probably get
Speaker 1: fucking book deals. She's about to come up with a
Speaker 1: makeup liner right right the next card as fine the
Speaker 1: law flins. Oh, the whitest, fucking the funniest. But it's
Speaker 1: the funniest thing I saw about it was someone tweeted,
Speaker 1: never watch full House just thought ed Becky was a
Speaker 1: hilarious thing. We were calling this white lady, which is
Speaker 1: everything perfection. And Lette Lynette. It's so funny that she
Speaker 1: went to prison for dodgy mom ship because I just
Speaker 1: always will picture of Lynette, like fucking being addicted to
Speaker 1: her kids, a d D medication, the heels in the pool,
Speaker 1: being so tired. I'm like, yeah, I kind of loved
Speaker 1: Lenette as the character she's still stressed out. I did
Speaker 1: not like Lenip because she was such a kill joy.
Speaker 1: And if I was, she had the hottest husband to
Speaker 1: time was can I tell you, like publicly I talked
Speaker 1: so much about white ladies, I'd be dragging him constantly.
Speaker 1: But like I am so entertained. But if a white
Speaker 1: woman has a skill, I am in yeah, would you
Speaker 1: consider this a skill for Laurie and Felicity? Yeah? I
Speaker 1: would love a scam I love And if I was
Speaker 1: a white woman, do you know how often I would
Speaker 1: be scamming because no one's gonna do anything like this
Speaker 1: is like the first time I'm like, oh, you're oh,
Speaker 1: something's happening, but like, how long have they been scamming? Oh?
Speaker 1: That's the thing. It's like white women can get white
Speaker 1: women and like just like like your Billy McFarland's but
Speaker 1: like but maybe he didn't get away with it, but like,
Speaker 1: white women get away with the ship until they don't.
Speaker 1: But then it's like you think about all the white
Speaker 1: women who currently arguing away with Like, are you following
Speaker 1: this Elizabeth Homeship? Oh? Absolutely. I interviewed the director of
Speaker 1: the film and do have you listened to the drop
Speaker 1: out the podcast? No? He news It's phenomenal. I also
Speaker 1: talked to the people that they it was the director
Speaker 1: of the film who also did the scientology movie Going Clear,
Speaker 1: So this guy is really good. This is this this
Speaker 1: documentarian And there was also um at Sundance when I
Speaker 1: interviewed them. It was people who were involved with Elizabeth
Speaker 1: Holmes herself. It was like regular people that are in
Speaker 1: the documentary featured. This is a crazy It's this woman
Speaker 1: who goes to Stanford, like her dad used to be
Speaker 1: some executive Enron after Enron crashed. This the story the juicy,
Speaker 1: like the thing that narrative that people want to project
Speaker 1: onto this is that she probably saw her dad fail
Speaker 1: and was like driven to like succeed at all costs
Speaker 1: and to become a successful business person. So she goes
Speaker 1: to Stanford. She wants to start the startup um. She
Speaker 1: has this idea for a blood test that a machine
Speaker 1: that can run a blood test based based on using
Speaker 1: only one drop of blood, thousands of blood tests based
Speaker 1: on a machine that people can have in her homes,
Speaker 1: so you wouldn't have to draw blood. Really it would
Speaker 1: be much easier to get like test results and stuff
Speaker 1: like that. It would change and the machine was called
Speaker 1: an Edison. It would change healthcare forever in theory if
Speaker 1: this machine were to come into where to like exist.
Speaker 1: But then somehow it's like she she gets she drops
Speaker 1: out of Stanford all of her provisionally, they the interview
Speaker 1: some of her old chemistry chemical engineering professors, and they
Speaker 1: were just like hack, they were just like, she's a
Speaker 1: fucking lunatic, but she's charismatic, and she's charismatic, and so
Speaker 1: she's able to talk to like Henry Kissinger and fucking
Speaker 1: old army generals and fucking God like all these fucking people.
Speaker 1: All these are mostly Republicans who like who Angel invest
Speaker 1: into this business called fairness Um. But then she like
Speaker 1: drops her voice and starts wearing turnals because she's obsessed
Speaker 1: with Steve Jobs and she starts to become this like
Speaker 1: different person. So she basically tries to iconicize herself and
Speaker 1: to this like female, young, hot, honestly blonde Steve Jobs type.
Speaker 1: And because people, I think, because because she's a young woman,
Speaker 1: she's like a new inventor. Like she talked the talk
Speaker 1: and people really bought it, and so they gave her
Speaker 1: all this money. And what ended up happening was it
Speaker 1: didn't fucking work. She didn't like the technology wasn't there,
Speaker 1: and she was lying, and she like she partnered with
Speaker 1: what she partnered with Walgreens to have these machines and
Speaker 1: every Walgrains would be within five miles of every home
Speaker 1: in America, Like she had this grand master plan that
Speaker 1: just was not there, ripped all these people off. These
Speaker 1: people lost billions and billions of dollars. Forbes valued her
Speaker 1: one year at like however many billion dollars down to
Speaker 1: zero after all this stuff came out, after all this
Speaker 1: reporting from the Wall Street Journal, you know, and it's
Speaker 1: it's it's like basically like Firefest, but like but a woman.
Speaker 1: Imagine reverse social network. Yeah, you know what I mean.
Speaker 1: It's literally that. So basically now there's this movie about
Speaker 1: her coming out called The Inventor in this documentary um,
Speaker 1: and there's a film being made about her, starring Jennifer Lawrence,
Speaker 1: directed by Adam Kay, written by the woman who wrote
Speaker 1: The Shape of Her. That's wuld be great. I can't.
Speaker 1: Jennifer Lawrence is perfect to play. I was like read
Speaker 1: about this like last year and I was writing on
Speaker 1: the break, but I just like forgot because I was like, oh,
Speaker 1: this is a crazy white woman because it was still
Speaker 1: it was still being developed. Now she has all these
Speaker 1: charges and she could she could go to prison for
Speaker 1: like I don't know, you'll see, you'll start to see
Speaker 1: posters about it. She's gonna be a household name, it's
Speaker 1: gonna be It's gonna because especially now after the Firefest documentaries,
Speaker 1: like howeveryone was like so enamored with those, When people
Speaker 1: hear this story and they watched these movies, I think
Speaker 1: it's going to be psych What is it? Like, there's
Speaker 1: something There is a cultural moment happening right now with scamming.
Speaker 1: Like people are like, scamming is like happening right. You
Speaker 1: don't understand if I was a white person, I would
Speaker 1: be doing the same, no joke, I would be doing it,
Speaker 1: but you have anxiety about like I couldn't keep that.
Speaker 1: I wouldn't if I was white, I'd be like, who's
Speaker 1: not check me? Like, I mean the confidence that comes
Speaker 1: with like like it really is, like it makes me
Speaker 1: feel thing it does, and I would truly I sleep
Speaker 1: I was a white woman, I would be robbing banks.
Speaker 1: I mean I would be I would be the worst.
Speaker 1: He's like, be oppressed so you could be a good person.
Speaker 1: I always say the worst culture be oppressed so you
Speaker 1: can be a good person. I always feel like so
Speaker 1: with the scam with the colleges, right, So if you
Speaker 1: read about what how fucking stupid it is, you would
Speaker 1: have to think well, I'm never getting caught to do
Speaker 1: it because literally they like made it appear like their
Speaker 1: daughter's road crew the photoshop, and I was like, this
Speaker 1: is the dumbest thing ever. And also there's fully email
Speaker 1: paper trails and insane. She said, row at one point,
Speaker 1: I didn't read these emails. Girl. Yes, they were going
Speaker 1: back and forth like does this photo shop work? And
Speaker 1: then somebody was like she should be more in the water,
Speaker 1: Like it was, it's just like insane. Wait, yes, she
Speaker 1: should be more in the water. What what is what
Speaker 1: is the felicity stuff? I couldn't keep up with this
Speaker 1: I can procure. So basically, her daughter took the S
Speaker 1: A T S and they got a score that was
Speaker 1: like an eleven hundreds, and someone said, well, part of
Speaker 1: this is I will go in after your daughter takes
Speaker 1: the test and I will change the answers to the
Speaker 1: right one. So they changed her score from like an
Speaker 1: eleven something into a fourteen twenties stupid, which is still
Speaker 1: my parents would have killed me. Well I didn't have
Speaker 1: to take that take the A C T. But but
Speaker 1: you know, um I did well on that one. That's
Speaker 1: so funny that this felicity, this, this is it's Philicity
Speaker 1: and Laurie. It's like so beautiful, It's so delicious and
Speaker 1: Joel and Joel tweeted this. He was like, God, God
Speaker 1: bless but no he goes no, he know, he goes,
Speaker 1: God blessed Felicity and Lauria. And this day, like they
Speaker 1: gave us one blessed day to make us feel like
Speaker 1: it was again where we could just not worry about politics.
Speaker 1: It could just be about dumb celebrity bullshit. And and
Speaker 1: he ends it with, um, Beato should not run for president.
Speaker 1: It's so crowded anyway. But what a juicy, juicy story. Yeah,
Speaker 1: And we were saying like, like, had this happened, we
Speaker 1: were talking about this today in the other children. We
Speaker 1: were saying, like in the nineties, it felt like there
Speaker 1: were five big news stories. It was Tanya Harding, John
Speaker 1: benet O, j Monica and Bill and Diana and like
Speaker 1: that was like in the nineties, whereas now it's like
Speaker 1: every two days as a massive scandal. Like had this
Speaker 1: happened in the nineties, it would have been like, do
Speaker 1: you know, it's white women wild? And since forever Nicole
Speaker 1: Yes and Nicole Brown Simpson that was her fault role
Speaker 1: of Culture number nineteen that was falls out here getting murdered.
Speaker 1: Oh my god, remember if you don't want to get murdered.
Speaker 1: Oh it's all your phone, just the family. Did you
Speaker 1: like and Run Golden We Love? Did you like reading
Speaker 1: for Late Night? Was that like a fun thing for you?
Speaker 1: Was that like a hectic thing? I enjoyed the job,
Speaker 1: but as a as a black gay man again, the
Speaker 1: things that we had to make jokes about impacting me
Speaker 1: very differently. I was the only person color in that room,
Speaker 1: and I think Late Night as an art is mainly
Speaker 1: affluent white people talking about things that don't actually affect
Speaker 1: their everyday life, and it was hard to try to
Speaker 1: make jokes about things that I was like, oh, this
Speaker 1: is personal. Like if I was in a writer's room
Speaker 1: when the whole like Jesse smalling thing happened, I would
Speaker 1: not have wanted to write jokes about that, like I.
Speaker 1: But it it's a profession that forces you to find
Speaker 1: funny and things that I was like, Yo, I don't
Speaker 1: I don't want to. I don't want to do this.
Speaker 1: It's like I enjoyed it, but do I want to
Speaker 1: do it again? Not necessarily like if I was like
Speaker 1: I needed a bunch of money, sure, but it's not
Speaker 1: my first choice. I'd rather be in a narrative room
Speaker 1: where I can just like make up stories that are
Speaker 1: fun and not have to anchor it to something that
Speaker 1: is uncomfortable and like crazy, because like that's I mean,
Speaker 1: that's like mine and I can I feel comfortable saying this.
Speaker 1: That's like my least favorite part of my job as
Speaker 1: just the times when you have to sit in a
Speaker 1: room and decide how to make something horrible funny. It's
Speaker 1: like how do you? And it's it never feels like
Speaker 1: it fully pays off, because there's still that like pounce
Speaker 1: of pain to everything, but like anyway, it's like how
Speaker 1: is it helping? Like even going to the White House
Speaker 1: Correspondence dinner was like one of it was gross, Like
Speaker 1: I felt like the Hungry Games, Like you were in
Speaker 1: a room with a bunch of people who want TV.
Speaker 1: People are like arguing and they're like we hate each other,
Speaker 1: but they were just like hugging taking photos. It was
Speaker 1: fucking disgusting. Like Kelly and Conway was like acting. She
Speaker 1: was like a Kardashian like literally everybody thinking itself. It
Speaker 1: was then they put the writers in one corner and
Speaker 1: being like, you're the poor people who in the corner.
Speaker 1: And then when she did her speech, they were just like,
Speaker 1: oh god, how could she? And I like, what do
Speaker 1: y'all not see what's happening? Right? Like, truly, this should
Speaker 1: be the prevailing narrative from that moment. And this has
Speaker 1: happened so many times. But the reaction to Michelle Wolves
Speaker 1: right has correspondence did her speech? Is that like that
Speaker 1: just shows you that they're all playing for the same
Speaker 1: fucking also not for nothing. I love Michelle Wolf and
Speaker 1: I loved that. I love that speech. It was also
Speaker 1: mild in terms, so it was not I mean, I'll
Speaker 1: tell you what I think happened. I think what happened
Speaker 1: was they heard that they heard her say she burns facts,
Speaker 1: and I think they heard she burns fats, and they
Speaker 1: got it in there. No listen, let me finish, please,
Speaker 1: They got they got it in their head that she
Speaker 1: was making an image conscious thing, and then they were like, oh,
Speaker 1: she's not, but we could spin it like she is
Speaker 1: and we can get mad about this. And the eyeshadow
Speaker 1: thing was just such garbage to make about appearance, and
Speaker 1: that the ant lydia thing was actually so insulting to
Speaker 1: end out actually in such garbage for him to like,
Speaker 1: please suck my dick. If you couldn't fucking deal with
Speaker 1: Michelle Wolves comedy at that White House Correspondence Center, you
Speaker 1: can suck my fucking dick. That that sucked. I mean, like,
Speaker 1: you know, something that most people don't talk about, but
Speaker 1: quite a few people thought that she was black, Like
Speaker 1: they thought that she wasn't white. And yeah, like that
Speaker 1: that has that has been a thing for like a while,
Speaker 1: Like they're like, oh, she's like they don't think she's
Speaker 1: like a white woman. They think like ethnic woman. And
Speaker 1: even like within that room, like there was moments where
Speaker 1: people were like whisper and being like, oh, like she's
Speaker 1: like a personal color, Like they said that she was
Speaker 1: a person of But then what does that surf on
Speaker 1: their end, like that she's I think that would help
Speaker 1: in the fact that like if in the disrespect would
Speaker 1: be like, let's disregard this person, like how how dare she?
Speaker 1: Like how dare she used this platform to talk to
Speaker 1: us like this? That's like that is a factor that
Speaker 1: even there This is just like funny in my opinion,
Speaker 1: But there was a moment when I was talking to
Speaker 1: my reps about being the only person of color in
Speaker 1: the room, and they were like, oh man, how can
Speaker 1: a black woman only have one person of color? And
Speaker 1: and I was like, yeah, that's white woman, like when
Speaker 1: you're talking about because like she does because she has
Speaker 1: like red hair and fred like po just don't assume
Speaker 1: that she is like like Caucasian woman, but it is.
Speaker 1: But she's done. Yeah, I mean great. I think Michelle
Speaker 1: is so funny. And it's just like but it's just
Speaker 1: so funny because has she done that set three years ago?
Speaker 1: No one would has not a fucking word, but because
Speaker 1: of the sensationalism around everything. I mean, honestly, if you
Speaker 1: take the last ten White House Correspondence centers, I would
Speaker 1: probably rank hers in terms of like offensive quality at
Speaker 1: like seven. To be honest with you, there was nothing there.
Speaker 1: I mean, and the things that work offensive in my opinion,
Speaker 1: they didn't even talk about like she said that, uh,
Speaker 1: Mitch mcconno's neck should be circumcised, and I was like,
Speaker 1: that's funny because and he has a fact, like he's
Speaker 1: literally talking about his fat fat And they were like
Speaker 1: they don't care, but like they really were trying to
Speaker 1: find anyway and that's even like working on that show.
Speaker 1: After that moment, we were like, this is things have
Speaker 1: changed now, Like that moment changed the trajectory of the
Speaker 1: show because the show wasn't supposed to be political. It's
Speaker 1: called the Break because it was supposed to be a break.
Speaker 1: That moment kind of forced us into that place because
Speaker 1: everybody was like, you have to now continue what you
Speaker 1: started at the Correspondence dinner. And by the last episode
Speaker 1: we like finally got back to where we originally wanted.
Speaker 1: But by that point we were like this is hard,
Speaker 1: like we can't this is not going. Like we found
Speaker 1: what we wanted, which was like this is a comedy
Speaker 1: show where we want to talk about other things that
Speaker 1: are not politics. Like the last episode we did like
Speaker 1: to monologues about like crows fucking like it was like
Speaker 1: very fun and just like silly. But those first few
Speaker 1: episodes are just like based on the energy that she
Speaker 1: gave that the way correspondence, it was very much what
Speaker 1: she had no control over. True, but in terms of
Speaker 1: the response, she did not control over that. And because
Speaker 1: the politics, like the right were constantly attacking her, like
Speaker 1: it was like we have to kind of keep doing
Speaker 1: what we're doing because this is the thing that's getting
Speaker 1: the response. That's you know, it was a weird I
Speaker 1: watched a lot of like she really became one of
Speaker 1: the most talked about people in America for the next
Speaker 1: two weeks after that, Like it was crazy to watch, Like,
Speaker 1: but what was so frustrating about it was watching And
Speaker 1: it's why the media sucks so much, because they don't
Speaker 1: have enough time to talk about complex issues with the
Speaker 1: complexity they need. They have two minutes to talk about
Speaker 1: this ship and maybe and so they were like, well,
Speaker 1: I did think it was offensive, but she said etcetera, etcetera,
Speaker 1: without even talking about what she had said, without playing
Speaker 1: the clip, without showing things in context. So it's just
Speaker 1: this begets that, begets that, begets that, And all of
Speaker 1: a sudden, you have this boiled down little sound bite
Speaker 1: someone here's at home and they're making a whole judgment
Speaker 1: on that whole piece and the whole context in which
Speaker 1: it took place in and it's like and then you
Speaker 1: have sucking Andrew Mitchell being like I thought it was
Speaker 1: like God and honestly shot up. It just sucks that
Speaker 1: that whole thing sucked, But it's great to be a
Speaker 1: part of the team that sucked it all up, honestly,
Speaker 1: and your jokes were very good. They were great. I
Speaker 1: mean like but but it was just so Yeah, Andrew,
Speaker 1: work on the break was wonderful. You you brought me
Speaker 1: in for this thing that you wrote was bad, humble
Speaker 1: brag you for I didn't book I just I just
Speaker 1: went in. Um. But Duyne is truly one of the
Speaker 1: most talented people. And I think this is a great performer,
Speaker 1: great great performer, great writer. And I think we're gonna
Speaker 1: we're gon We're gonna put this all on display for
Speaker 1: all three of us. And I don't think so funny
Speaker 1: it's time for I don't think so honey. I don't
Speaker 1: think so honey. Is our segment that we do. Um,
Speaker 1: we take one minute to rant against something in culture
Speaker 1: that we you know what, hate that you know what
Speaker 1: we hate? We don't like it. We don't like it. So, Matt,
Speaker 1: do you have what do you have one? I could
Speaker 1: go first? Okay, that you can go first. This is
Speaker 1: Matt Rogers. I don't think so many as time starts now,
Speaker 1: I don't think so honey. Anyone who dates the actress
Speaker 1: Kaylee Kuoko, I don't like her. I think she's cookie.
Speaker 1: I think she's hack um, but also like if you
Speaker 1: date her, like Henry Cavill dated her for like a
Speaker 1: minute and I'm like, what this is no way, this
Speaker 1: is real? This cookie girl. I was like, this girl
Speaker 1: to me is like dating someone because he's Superman, and
Speaker 1: I was like, why are you getting involved in that? Also,
Speaker 1: Henry Cable, if you go to his instagram, I don't
Speaker 1: think so honey. He is a goofy Instagram also boring, boring,
Speaker 1: boring bar But he's the kind of guy who'll be
Speaker 1: like walking in the woods and instagram himself and being
Speaker 1: like I'm walking in the woods and he'll say that
Speaker 1: out loud and that'll be the whole Instagram. I don't
Speaker 1: think so honey. I don't think so honey. The fact
Speaker 1: that you guys were a couple for like fifteen minutes,
Speaker 1: I don't know why. I'm like going back to this now.
Speaker 1: But I also think now she's like she was married,
Speaker 1: now she's not. She seems to be like a celebrity.
Speaker 1: That's like I'm a celebrity and that's it. Big bang
Speaker 1: theory sucks. No, thanks, Kelly Coco. I don't think so
Speaker 1: many people who date her. That was beautiful. I was
Speaker 1: talking to this other day. I was like, I don't
Speaker 1: get her. Who else has dated her besides Henry? I
Speaker 1: don't know. I mean, she was in the last season
Speaker 1: of Charmed and that's when it really went down. Here. Oh,
Speaker 1: there's something about her where I'm just like, she's fooky
Speaker 1: and hack like. And I don't think it's just because
Speaker 1: of Big bang theory is like whatever, but um, it's
Speaker 1: just like something about her where I'm like, I don't
Speaker 1: like this. And then when she dates like famous people
Speaker 1: on their photographed I'm like, you know, they set this
Speaker 1: up in it in advance. I do believe she's married
Speaker 1: now or maybe divorced. I will look it up later.
Speaker 1: I did not research this. I don't think so, honey.
Speaker 1: But we were talking about it in the room the
Speaker 1: other day and I was like, like, something about her
Speaker 1: seems like very fake celebrity today. This is damn No,
Speaker 1: that was no, this is good I was gonna do.
Speaker 1: I don't think, so, honey, sitting next to another person, well,
Speaker 1: you're never your well maybe for later. This is I
Speaker 1: don't think so, honey. As time starts now, I don't
Speaker 1: think so, honey. AlOH, this is this new luxury yoga.
Speaker 1: This is this new luxury yoga brand that they sell
Speaker 1: yoga pants and ship. They have a lovely location in
Speaker 1: the grove, lovely staff. The cashier gave me a free
Speaker 1: canvas toe. It's gorgeous. But they're they were giving me
Speaker 1: crazy body. This more of you right now because the
Speaker 1: best fit for me of one of their tops was
Speaker 1: an extra large and for my shorts it was a medium.
Speaker 1: So this is I'm getting a lot of mixed signals
Speaker 1: and my body is going through some changes right now,
Speaker 1: and um positive ones, I think. But I think like
Speaker 1: I need to be supported in this way where things
Speaker 1: sort of track and scale along with me. You know,
Speaker 1: I don't think so honey, when you know you're you're
Speaker 1: fitting in your clothes all weird and but I think
Speaker 1: l A has really just play kating me. I'm not
Speaker 1: so angry about this. I'm just concerned, you know what
Speaker 1: I mean. I don't think so, honey, is more like
Speaker 1: a maybe we can consider something else, honey. You know,
Speaker 1: so I don't think so, said Aloe. I love you
Speaker 1: as a store, but maybe we can reconsider the sizing.
Speaker 1: And that's one minute. So I could have swarned you.
Speaker 1: We're going to talk about all of the plants. And
Speaker 1: I'm like, I guess you don't like putting things on burns. Okay,
Speaker 1: I can never shot on allows, God allow. The store
Speaker 1: is different, Okay. So I feel upset for you about
Speaker 1: this because when sizing is off, I don't like that.
Speaker 1: I don't think, so honey, when sizing is not right,
Speaker 1: I can tell if I'm if I'm like heavy up
Speaker 1: here and then and then some whatever the fun is
Speaker 1: going on down here in my legs. I don't know.
Speaker 1: It's it's really confusing. So that's that's just once again
Speaker 1: in society sending me, you know, bad signals about my body.
Speaker 1: So here's the thing you did. I don't think, so honey.
Speaker 1: That was like more of them. Maybe we can reconsider this,
Speaker 1: and I didn't. I don't think so honey, which I'm
Speaker 1: already regretting because it was like feel I feel very negative.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, but that's what that's the point. But I
Speaker 1: know what's going to happen. I guess you're right, But
Speaker 1: I think Duenne is gonna do this. I don't think
Speaker 1: right now and around So you think now this is
Speaker 1: Dwayne and Duyne is a is a master of the form.
Speaker 1: Said it many times, but here he is doing it again.
Speaker 1: This is Dwayne Perkins. I don't think so many times
Speaker 1: starts now, I don't think so, honey, Twitter potentially taking
Speaker 1: away likes and retweets, Like, what the funk is the
Speaker 1: point Twitter? Like? Also, I just started going virals, so like,
Speaker 1: don't take that away from me, Like, this is the
Speaker 1: validation that I get every day. I wake up and
Speaker 1: think of the quirkiest thing I can think of, and
Speaker 1: then I post it and I wait for people to
Speaker 1: like it. That like equals one. Like in my heart,
Speaker 1: you take that away, you're taking away my blood, my life,
Speaker 1: my spirit. I put so much of myself Twitter. I
Speaker 1: didn't use to, but now I'm like, this is my thought,
Speaker 1: this is my diary, this is my album that's not
Speaker 1: music but words. And for you to take that away,
Speaker 1: it's taken away my livelihood. Like I've gotten job offers
Speaker 1: from Twitter, I've gotten asked from Twitter, like and that
Speaker 1: the popularity that you get from Twitter transcends into real
Speaker 1: life and you've kirks. So if you take that away,
Speaker 1: you're taking away happiness. Thank you for acknowledging the transference.
Speaker 1: Of your Twitter cloud to r R O clock because
Speaker 1: sometimes it does. That does happen for people you would know?
Speaker 1: I mean no, I haven't gotten Twitter stuff. You would
Speaker 1: know you know. Um wait, here's the thing. How likely
Speaker 1: is this? They said that in their next update that
Speaker 1: it's they're they're also changing. Um they tried a new
Speaker 1: look of the app and they took the bird away
Speaker 1: and people get really mad and they're like, well, we're
Speaker 1: just trying. What's there instead of the bird? Nothing, it's
Speaker 1: just a blue square because they said minimalism is like
Speaker 1: what they were going for. It was introduced it south
Speaker 1: by Southwest. Oh yes, okay there, and they're trying to
Speaker 1: make it more user friendly and trying to um have
Speaker 1: more friendly conversations between people. So they're trying to take
Speaker 1: away the likes and reach meats because they think it
Speaker 1: changes the focus of the platform and they want to
Speaker 1: switch the platform to like really whole some conversation. And
Speaker 1: also they added like of camera features because they want
Speaker 1: people to share more photos and video, similar to like Instagram,
Speaker 1: it has its own identity. Now why do you want
Speaker 1: less of an identity? Like I hate like communities are
Speaker 1: built around Twitter, like like like you have like gay Twitter.
Speaker 1: You have like, oh, I'm so mad black Twitter. You
Speaker 1: have like fucking gay Twitter again. You need It's a
Speaker 1: it's a tool to build. It's like fucking Arab spring
Speaker 1: started out of whatever I'm mad about this Twitter also
Speaker 1: just broken and whatever I mean, it will never be great.
Speaker 1: You know what did I say about Dwainness? I don't
Speaker 1: think so around and it starter. I mean, when Instagram
Speaker 1: went down, I feel like everybody had to really like,
Speaker 1: what would like be if this ship wasn't here? Huh?
Speaker 1: It was kind of a beautiful moment. It was the
Speaker 1: day after all the Felicity stuff. We we've really been
Speaker 1: through it this week. This is weird. But I don't
Speaker 1: think it went down for me. So I didn't notice
Speaker 1: that Instagram went done. And I think I just like
Speaker 1: I didn't get well you were, And that's why I felt.
Speaker 1: I really felt liberated. I was like, oh, I can
Speaker 1: go on this hike with Joel and not think about, well,
Speaker 1: you can always go on a hike even though Instagram
Speaker 1: is out, and I got to post a picture of
Speaker 1: I've been on like a very special diet and it
Speaker 1: has really like sucked, like really like made me tight
Speaker 1: and I'm trying to post a photo and I couldn't,
Speaker 1: and they had to sit with the fact of being like, oh,
Speaker 1: I just have to be happy with myself without this
Speaker 1: external Yeah, a little serotonin bump, but yeah. Well and
Speaker 1: then it went up later and I was like, thank God,
Speaker 1: give me compliments. We're sucking junk. That's crazy. Listen what
Speaker 1: an app. I think we morphed from the beginning of
Speaker 1: us up to the end of the up we morphed
Speaker 1: into better people. I think so. I agree, and I'm
Speaker 1: happy to have spent this morphing time with you with Dwayne.
Speaker 1: Twayne truly like a phenomenal, phenomenal comedian, a performer. If
Speaker 1: he's in your town, check him out. Thank you. Will
Speaker 1: you be traveling anywhere I'm doing, Yes, I'll be in
Speaker 1: New York, but like it doesn't matter. I'm doing a
Speaker 1: show at May at some college I don't remember from college.
Speaker 1: If you go to college on your board, it's in St.
Speaker 1: Louis Mary Mount. I think that. Okay, that's definitely a
Speaker 1: famous to New York. But hopefully Twitter will still exist
Speaker 1: by the time when this comes out. I don't know.
Speaker 1: The world is burning. Can we end on us all
Speaker 1: saying our sounds yes, Yes, here we go, you gog.
Speaker 1: This has been a forebber Dog production. Exact it If
Speaker 1: produced by Brett Ballum, Joe Silio, and Alex Ramsey. For
Speaker 1: more original podcasts, please visit Forever Dog Podcasts dot com
Speaker 1: and subscribe to our shows on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or
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Speaker 1: at Forever Dog Team, and liking our page on Facebook.