Speaker 1: Motherfucking mini episode, mini episode, motherfucking mini episode.
Speaker 2: So I creep.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I just keep it on the down low because
Speaker 3: no one else is supposed to know. Welcome Little Mama's
Speaker 3: and Gentiles are like to another phenomenal episode of My
Speaker 3: Mama Told Me, the podcast where we dive deep, deep
Speaker 3: into the buckets of black conspiracy theories.
Speaker 4: And we finally work to prove the conspiracies of you
Speaker 4: the listener. It's a motherfucking mini episode.
Speaker 3: Let's go MANI short, sweet, we're knocking this bad boy
Speaker 3: out with you today, pop.
Speaker 2: Short Like Shannon Sharp strokes, I'm not using.
Speaker 3: Knowing some long strokes in there, ain't Yeah.
Speaker 2: No, I bet he's a long shogun from way back. Yeah.
Speaker 3: He was talking to her. You can hear a linen
Speaker 3: her ear in that video. It's it's it's a lot
Speaker 3: the time.
Speaker 2: Getting sucked by and Sharp would be jarring.
Speaker 3: I think if you're the type of person that wants
Speaker 3: to be fucked by Shannon Sharp, ain't nothing jarring. That's
Speaker 3: a good point. You want to get jarred. Yeah, you
Speaker 3: you're jam to be jarring. And that's what they meant
Speaker 3: by that. Uh, they're referring to the entire military.
Speaker 2: You don't think she's served somewhere at some point. She
Speaker 2: served today because she and sharp. You know what you're getting.
Speaker 2: That's a lifelong bachelor, right, that's the whole thing.
Speaker 3: Yeah, you're gonna smoke black and miles and drink his
Speaker 3: own whiskey and uh and and yell at oho sinkle
Speaker 3: and and you in the other room, and you're.
Speaker 2: Like, does you want me to leave or stay? I can't.
Speaker 3: He seems to value me so little. He definitely is
Speaker 3: talking as he walks in the room to beat it up. Yeah,
Speaker 3: he's like half his suit is on. He's just unfolding,
Speaker 3: unbuttoning buttons and not even make an eye contact with.
Speaker 2: Like they're waiting for him to play his hand of
Speaker 2: cards at the table.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 3: Now when I get Ojo, don't go nowhere. Now that's
Speaker 3: a box to excuse me, mid lady. Uh, we're gonna
Speaker 3: have to fat my foot, O Joe. He waiting on me.
Speaker 5: Now, gotta be real quick, now, gotta be faster than
Speaker 5: a horse with no Bugget here we go. Don't touch
Speaker 5: my Cardso that's why he's fucking O Joe. I know
Speaker 5: you're not touching my card.
Speaker 2: Now about I had.
Speaker 3: What a great guy.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's a lot of fun.
Speaker 3: Anyway, we're here to discuss an email that we got
Speaker 3: from you all, and we're really excited about this email.
Speaker 3: It's short, it's sweet. It comes to us from a
Speaker 3: person named Tea. Tea sent us an email and they said, Hello,
Speaker 3: Lakes and David. Light skin ranger here, ranger not ranger.
Speaker 3: Wouldn't that be cool if there was a light skinned ranger,
Speaker 3: like a.
Speaker 2: Group that you would call on for R and B and.
Speaker 3: Oh no, I was thinking more power rangers that.
Speaker 2: There would be.
Speaker 3: There's black, there's blue, there's green, there's red, yellow, pink, white,
Speaker 3: and light skinned.
Speaker 2: Oh that's a lot funnier. I was thinking of like
Speaker 2: a like a service.
Speaker 3: No, no, no, I don't need I don't need empowerment. I
Speaker 3: need literal magic powers.
Speaker 2: Okay, I like that.
Speaker 3: That's good too, lifekin Form. Since all this Chase Bank
Speaker 3: glitch stuff came out, we haven't talked about the Chase
Speaker 3: Bank glitch conversation at all. I've been thinking about the
Speaker 3: majority of people who have who I have seen doing this,
Speaker 3: I guess, which leads me to my conspiracy of the
Speaker 3: right designing and putting out info on how to do
Speaker 3: it take out as much of the black voters before
Speaker 3: election day? WHOA, it's probably not true, but with the
Speaker 3: timing and who's getting caught doing it? Or maybe I'm
Speaker 3: just crazy anyways, love the show, y'all, crack me up.
Speaker 3: I need to be that guy. But if you're taking
Speaker 3: out black voters, I don't know. If Chase is the bank.
Speaker 2: What do you think is the black bank? Wells Fargo.
Speaker 3: Wells Fargo is the black bank for you?
Speaker 2: Yeah?
Speaker 3: I think I I don't know that. I'd don't think
Speaker 3: of Chase. Really, Chase is the hardest one to get
Speaker 3: for me in my life because of location or like
Speaker 3: they rejected your It's just it's like it's like it
Speaker 3: just feels like a high barrier to entry. Wells Fargo
Speaker 3: will give it to teams. WHOA, I you know what,
Speaker 3: and this is crazy, But I feel the exact opposite.
Speaker 3: Why I've always looked at Chase as an easily acceptable
Speaker 3: brand and Wells Fargo to me is where I like
Speaker 3: need to be making investments. Wow, Like, let's umpact this
Speaker 3: because to me, Chase is Target and Wells Fargo is Walmart.
Speaker 3: Mm hmm. Yeah, we're the We're the exact opposite to me.
Speaker 3: Chase is Target and Wells Fargo is like Whole Foods Wow.
Speaker 2: Or Chase It.
Speaker 3: Yeah, Target's probably right, It's probably it's not the worst,
Speaker 3: but it ain't, you know, Okay. I think also the
Speaker 3: problem here is that I was saying Target like it's
Speaker 3: a good story. I think that's also where we're getting confused. Yeah,
Speaker 3: I think there are better stores than Target, is what
Speaker 3: I have so far.
Speaker 2: As where do you go if you girl on Sunday?
Speaker 3: I think I aspire for more than Target. I guess
Speaker 3: is what I'll I'll say.
Speaker 2: To you, Well, I love it. There.
Speaker 3: The point is I'm said I was. I thought that
Speaker 3: that's I wonder why I always thought Chase.
Speaker 2: Was really classy. I always thought that Chase.
Speaker 3: I think it maybe it depends on where you're from
Speaker 3: and how many of them are in your city, Like
Speaker 3: chases are so common. I feel like in the cities
Speaker 3: that I've lived in that maybe it just has always
Speaker 3: felt like I'll always find a Chase bank a Wells Fargo.
Speaker 3: You gotta like hunt that bad boy down. That's like
Speaker 3: a rare Pokemon.
Speaker 2: See.
Speaker 4: No, I always thought Wells far they got them in
Speaker 4: safe ways here in any bank that's in safe way.
Speaker 2: I know I could.
Speaker 3: It's not great, sure, Yeah, I truly do think this
Speaker 3: is just a regional thing.
Speaker 2: Maybe that's crazy.
Speaker 3: Wow, that's so interesting, and it's all a lie, right,
Speaker 3: Like ultimately we're just investing with the same types of
Speaker 3: people and types of institutions, and you're putting your your
Speaker 3: faith in individuals more than you are, like the they
Speaker 3: hold my money better than the other people hold my money.
Speaker 2: Yeah, we should probably all have a credit union if
Speaker 2: we're talking.
Speaker 3: Yeah, some real like uh change in the world. No,
Speaker 3: we're we're doing the wrong thing supporting both of these institutions.
Speaker 3: But yeah, I've always I similarly have been brainwashed by
Speaker 3: their marketing and locations.
Speaker 2: Wow. So do you have Chase? Is that too bad? Yeah?
Speaker 4: Chase, I also have. But here's what I'm gonna tell you.
Speaker 4: I didn't get chased till I started getting money. I
Speaker 4: have Chased credit cards. Then I have a Bank of America.
Speaker 4: Uh no, I don't have the Amazon card. Actually, okay,
Speaker 4: I like them points off that Amazon.
Speaker 3: I like that they gave me the heavy one.
Speaker 2: So that was oh bro, I got too heavy axes don't.
Speaker 3: But but yeah, I got I got relationships with all
Speaker 3: these banks, you know what I mean. Like, I got
Speaker 3: the fucking I got checking with Bank of America, I
Speaker 3: got the fucking savings with well Wells Fargo. I've got
Speaker 3: fucking a credit card with with MX.
Speaker 2: I do it all interesting, now, do you think? But
Speaker 2: you never really were playing with banks, right, That's that's
Speaker 2: what it sounds to me. You've always been kind of reasonable.
Speaker 3: Yeah, no, they don't. They don't have a reason to
Speaker 3: yell at me, and I don't have a reason to
Speaker 3: yell at them. Mostly see, I was a lot more faster.
Speaker 3: There was a bank that has since shut down.
Speaker 4: Back in the day, they gave you two hundred dollars
Speaker 4: for opening uh checking account.
Speaker 2: The problem is when they when you have a checking
Speaker 2: yum and get your checks.
Speaker 3: So I've like I've bounced from bank to bank to
Speaker 3: I've bounced around and then for a long time, no bank,
Speaker 3: you collected your two hundred and then you pass go elsewhere.
Speaker 2: And then I was.
Speaker 4: A check cashing place guy for years. Damn shout out
Speaker 4: to money mark. Fuck Yeah, you never.
Speaker 2: Catch a checking to check cashing please, I have, and
Speaker 2: I don't like how it feels. So now it's expressive.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 3: They it's a bad feeling walking in there. It's a
Speaker 3: bad feeling explaining what you would like to do with them.
Speaker 3: They always pretend like they don't quite understand whatever you're
Speaker 3: asking for it. They're they make you feel low, and
Speaker 3: on top of that, they charge you for it. I
Speaker 3: don't need that energy. Yeah, no, and they.
Speaker 2: Always don't believe you, especially for me, because my checks
Speaker 2: would be from the weirdest places, right, I'd be coming in,
Speaker 2: you know, every other week or so, you.
Speaker 3: Know, with a new weird place check. Yeah, they're like
Speaker 3: penguins in Iowa. It's called penguins. Paid you five hundred
Speaker 3: dollars to tell jokes.
Speaker 6: All right, big man, we're calling the cops.
Speaker 3: Just we're calling upon you because we have we have
Speaker 3: new merch. We have very exciting merch that we are
Speaker 3: now selling and it's it's fucking great.
Speaker 2: We love it so much. Just sleek, it's sexy.
Speaker 3: Come on, you want to tell them what we have? Yeah,
Speaker 3: we have three different types of hats, which is really fun.
Speaker 3: We have a two tone hat, an alien dad hat,
Speaker 3: the traditional logo in black and khaki. Then we have
Speaker 3: the enamel pin with an alien who has a coofie
Speaker 3: on it says my told me. And then we have
Speaker 3: t shirts that say proud little Mama, which is.
Speaker 2: Who you are.
Speaker 3: Yeah, you can buy the merch now, go to my
Speaker 3: mama told me that merch table dot com. It's a
Speaker 3: brand new name, but it's the same old merch and
Speaker 3: we would love for you to get some if you
Speaker 3: haven't got it already, and we want you to have
Speaker 3: all the sweet stuff, so get it.
Speaker 4: I also think about this because tell me if this
Speaker 4: is as both being chased people.
Speaker 3: When that shit happened, Bro, I wasn't my shit leaks
Speaker 3: so much right now?
Speaker 2: It doesn't.
Speaker 3: I don't even get scared when I hear about it. Oh,
Speaker 3: I didn't get scared for my money. I got scared
Speaker 3: honestly because I got scared at the possibility of not
Speaker 3: understanding and advancement in technology that was happening, if that
Speaker 3: makes sense. Like there was a period where with the
Speaker 3: card scams, where like they were saying like, yo, don't
Speaker 3: put your card into machines and more because scammers can
Speaker 3: like put the the other scanner inside of it and
Speaker 3: and essentially get your information just off of you swiping
Speaker 3: or or put pushing in you know what I'm saying,
Speaker 3: and that scared the fuck out of me because it
Speaker 3: was like god damn, Like, once that interaction is taken
Speaker 3: out of it, I just got to always have cash
Speaker 3: on me or something, and that that feels like now
Speaker 3: I'm I'm like moving backwards in the societal progression that
Speaker 3: I'm comfortable in. But it doesn't scare me that I'm
Speaker 3: going to lose all my money. It just makes me
Speaker 3: fearful of like how hard life is becoming, if that
Speaker 3: makes sense. Yeah, I get that. That's we have such
Speaker 3: different points of view. I was like, I was like,
Speaker 3: I can get it back.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it wasn't like about what I'm like, I I
Speaker 2: got can read.
Speaker 7: That this ain't enough for you to have ruined my life. Yeah,
Speaker 7: I'm not even like, oh even.
Speaker 2: If you are, if you got if you got all
Speaker 2: your money at one place, that's your fault.
Speaker 3: Yeah, that's that's crazy.
Speaker 4: But I do worry about it because like saving do
Speaker 4: you ever do that? Like if I can't buy it twice,
Speaker 4: I don't buy it. One type of thing I've never
Speaker 4: heard that. Oh really nope, first time, the first time,
Speaker 4: long time. Oh, I don't know what to say about it,
Speaker 4: but that's what I think about everything. I can't buy
Speaker 4: it twice, I won't buy it once. Wow, that's smart.
Speaker 4: I think it's actually comes from poor people.
Speaker 3: But I think that's probably good poor people hand me
Speaker 3: downs versus bad poor people hand me downs, which.
Speaker 2: Would be like get a credit card.
Speaker 3: Yeah, our fucking Charlie finds the golden ticket in like chocolate.
Speaker 3: Then your grandparents are dancing in the living room like
Speaker 3: you don't motherfuckers, just then change ship for you.
Speaker 2: It's not real gold, you idiots.
Speaker 3: You're still poor. He's just going to see a factory.
Speaker 2: Also, if grandpa can dance, he could probably work.
Speaker 3: If grandpa can dance, he can certainly collect cans.
Speaker 2: Got a lot of people up, old people up in
Speaker 2: that bed for no reason. I don't.
Speaker 3: I don't care for whatever sexual y'all got going on,
Speaker 3: And I certainly don't care for four sucubises leeching off
Speaker 3: of what little money I already.
Speaker 2: Make in my living room. No less, you don't even
Speaker 2: give me a space to think.
Speaker 3: You think this is how I want to live with
Speaker 3: my wife and my child is looking at four old
Speaker 3: people instead of like like a goddamn what's that?
Speaker 2: What's that? Game, don't bat you No, that makes no,
Speaker 2: you're right, you're right.
Speaker 3: What's the game where you move the white and black
Speaker 3: tiles across the triangles or whatever and it comes in.
Speaker 2: A suitcase Chinese checkers? No, it comes in a suitcase.
Speaker 2: It's Oh, I know what you're saying. It has a
Speaker 2: complicated name. I never played that. I know what you're
Speaker 2: talking about.
Speaker 3: Yeah, damn, it would have been a good riff.
Speaker 2: If that would have killed, that would have ooh.
Speaker 3: Everybody been so jealous. I say, how how does his
Speaker 3: brain work like that? And in fact it doesn't work
Speaker 3: that good.
Speaker 4: Somebody would have sent us an email have been like,
Speaker 4: thank you for your podcast being so funny and smart.
Speaker 2: So, I mean, I feel like I say all this
Speaker 2: to say I don't I don't, I don't. I don't know.
Speaker 4: Man, I spent enough time without a bank account, and
Speaker 4: I don't think I'm that weird that I don't.
Speaker 3: Think that that's what that was for. There's other things
Speaker 3: you could attack to get us to not vote. Yeah,
Speaker 3: here's what I will say, though, And I do think
Speaker 3: this is where I become fascinated with this conspiracy, because
Speaker 3: I actually don't know that we're on the same side
Speaker 3: of this one. I don't think that that scam was
Speaker 3: aimed for the victims of the scam. Banks are ensured
Speaker 3: in a way that if for whatever reason, a bunch
Speaker 3: of money were to leave your account, you can be
Speaker 3: paid back for that loss to it. For the most part, right, Like,
Speaker 3: scammers aren't able, especially for the scam that they were pulling.
Speaker 3: They weren't able to pull thousands upon thousands of dollars
Speaker 3: in a single run. It was sort of like a
Speaker 3: ongoing thing that you could figure out, you know what
Speaker 3: I mean, to be able to collect a bunch of
Speaker 3: bread off of people. That said, a bunch of people
Speaker 3: got caught doing the scam, and all they were actually
Speaker 3: doing the scamming was writing a check to themselves and
Speaker 3: paying themselves out from the check before the bank verifies
Speaker 3: whether or not they had that money. And so a
Speaker 3: bunch of check fraud. It's check fraud number one, but
Speaker 3: it's check fraud against you. So like, there there was
Speaker 3: one video I watched it, but dude literally crying because
Speaker 3: he was like forty grand in debt because he had
Speaker 3: just been writing checks to himself check and Chase was like, yeah, bro,
Speaker 3: we're keeping track. Well, just give you the cash. We
Speaker 3: don't care, but like we're not just going to ignore
Speaker 3: the fact that, like we paid money.
Speaker 2: Can I can? I say? Though, as far as that
Speaker 2: check fraud thing, that's what I was alluding to too.
Speaker 2: I had gotten a checking account because a bank was
Speaker 2: offering two hundred bucks to open the checking account. That
Speaker 2: bank folded, but before it folded, I was writing hot checks. Whoa, yeah, so.
Speaker 3: You might have been the reason they You might have
Speaker 3: been that final feather.
Speaker 2: Just forever go. I wouldn't even talk about it.
Speaker 3: It's like, oh wait, no, I'm saying that, like that
Speaker 3: might have been the moment that that cracked their back.
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, you wrote.
Speaker 3: That final one hundred and thirty seven dollars check.
Speaker 2: Brother, It wasn't It wasn't even that it was for
Speaker 2: Blackjack pizza. It was forty seven dollars. Jesus Christ. When
Speaker 2: you're down bad, you're down bad, brother, that's true.
Speaker 3: But God man, paying for pizzas with checks feels like
Speaker 3: a horror show. It wasn't the greatest time of my life.
Speaker 3: So I say all that to say the idea that
Speaker 3: you can get entire communities to buy into a fraud
Speaker 3: that only hurts them and then subsequently puts a bunch
Speaker 3: of them in jail or at least on some sort
Speaker 3: of criminal rate that might make it difficult for them
Speaker 3: to vote for them to participate in any sort of
Speaker 3: parts of our civil experience. Kind of does seem believable
Speaker 3: to me, Like it's like, oh, okay, whoa wait a minute,
Speaker 3: These motherfuckers who who otherwise may not have been on
Speaker 3: the radar of a police state are suddenly fully on
Speaker 3: the radar, and now we can control how they shake
Speaker 3: and move. That seems like a plausible thing. I don't
Speaker 3: know that it's specific to Republicans trying to win this election,
Speaker 3: but I do think it seems very plausible to be like, yeah,
Speaker 3: we can introduce a fucking scam every month that will
Speaker 3: make these stupid motherfuckers, you know, send themselves to prison.
Speaker 2: I am with that as well.
Speaker 4: I think that because I also don't think that party
Speaker 4: lines are the big changing factor between our.
Speaker 2: Corporate overlord's getting our you know what I mean. I
Speaker 2: don't think the corporations are like, well, no good gets blanked,
Speaker 2: we won't be able to fuck them anymore. Like I think,
Speaker 2: you know what I'm saying, I don't think it's anything
Speaker 2: that's like thinking too small.
Speaker 3: They're all in goods, brother, I yeah, I don't think.
Speaker 3: I one hundred percent agree. There's no part of me
Speaker 3: that believes that the Democrats didn't also sign off on
Speaker 3: the Czech fraud proliferation right in the black community. I
Speaker 3: think both Democrats and Republicans shook hands. They shook lizard hands,
Speaker 3: and they said they kissed a little bit, not enough
Speaker 3: to lose focus, but a little bit. And then they said,
Speaker 3: we're fucking gonna get these apes or whatever they say
Speaker 3: in those private rooms.
Speaker 4: Yeah, these damn dirty monkeys.
Speaker 3: Uh yeah, I'm with you on that. So I think that, well,
Speaker 3: I do it, so I agree. I think it could
Speaker 3: be an overropping conspiracy. I think voting had nothing to
Speaker 3: do with it. I think that, Yeah, I think voting,
Speaker 3: to your point, is too small of a view, and
Speaker 3: I think it goes a lot larger of being like, no,
Speaker 3: this is how we keep society fed. And by society
Speaker 3: they mean like six big corporations who also have deep
Speaker 3: ties to our prison industrial complex. So I was like, yeah,
Speaker 3: we're gonna keep our institutions happy and fed by constantly
Speaker 3: introducing new ways for black people and poor people to
Speaker 3: starve themselves and then feed us.
Speaker 2: But at least we're free, you know, all right? I
Speaker 2: think we did it.
Speaker 3: Oh yeah, you want to sell the people where they
Speaker 3: can find you?
Speaker 4: Cool guy jokes City seven on Instagram, Patreon, dot com, backslash,
Speaker 4: David Borie g b O R I E go buy
Speaker 4: my special Birth of a Nation. It's very funny and
Speaker 4: come see us on the start the Steal Tour. Start
Speaker 4: to Steal Tour.
Speaker 2: You know what it is.
Speaker 3: October ten, we're in DC. October twelfth, we're in Detroit,
Speaker 3: and then the thirteenth we're in Chicago. We would love
Speaker 3: to see you at those dates. And then there's other
Speaker 3: dates following very soon. But you know we'll announce though,
Speaker 3: and they're already announced. Go to our fucking link tree
Speaker 3: and buy the tickets. Why do I have to do
Speaker 3: all the work for you? Come on, be responsible consumers.
Speaker 3: We're coming to your city. I don't have to tell
Speaker 3: you the exact date every time I talk to you.
Speaker 3: Just go find where you're from and come see us
Speaker 3: on tour. And as always, if you want to follow me,
Speaker 3: it's at Langston Kerrman on all social media platforms if
Speaker 3: you want to send us your own drops, your own
Speaker 3: conspiracy theories, if you want to tell us what that
Speaker 3: Wells Fargo scam is looking like and how that can
Speaker 3: actually benefit the black community, send it all to my
Speaker 3: Mama pod at gmail dot com. We would love to
Speaker 3: hear from you by the merch like, subscribe, rate, retweet,
Speaker 3: God damn it, Eat some soup. It's getting chili out there.
Speaker 3: Eat some soup.
Speaker 2: It's cold.
Speaker 1: Bye bitch, motherfucking Mini ever Sel mini episode. Well, the
Speaker 1: fucking Mini ever sew.
Speaker 2: Well, the fucking.
Speaker 1: Mini ever So Minie episode. Well, the fucking Mini ever
Speaker 1: Sel