Speaker 1: Scrubbing In with Bea Tilly and Tanya rad and iHeartRadio
Speaker 1: and two times People's Choice Award winning podcast.
Speaker 2: Hello everybody, we are scrubbing in like I was doving
Speaker 2: like sweet Southern Bell.
Speaker 3: Hello everybody.
Speaker 4: I wonder what you would have been like as a
Speaker 4: Southern Bell.
Speaker 3: Maybe we'll find out.
Speaker 4: Definitely the president of your sorority.
Speaker 3: I was the vice president of my sorority.
Speaker 2: I know, but I think Southern Bell would. Yeah, that's
Speaker 2: what I think we were talking about. This is a
Speaker 2: Dear Bonnie episode. But we were kind of discussing the games,
Speaker 2: and Tanya said she thinks something that led to her
Speaker 2: downward spiral of her just general wellbeing has been losing
Speaker 2: the games. Yes, and I'm sorry that I contributed to that.
Speaker 3: That's okay, thank you for taking accountability.
Speaker 4: And like the amount of people what.
Speaker 3: I said and Mark you do.
Speaker 5: I also offer my condolences and yes, of course I do.
Speaker 1: Yes.
Speaker 3: Nothing Martha Stewart diabolical. That was that was? That was
Speaker 3: Sam wanting to fight me.
Speaker 4: Yeah, Sam was out to get you with Martha.
Speaker 3: Honestly, Viola Davis was probably harder.
Speaker 5: By the way I watched that one. That was Martha
Speaker 5: Stewart and Viola Davis were both very difficult.
Speaker 4: Yes, very what difficulty?
Speaker 5: I agree, Yes, this is like expert level of the game.
Speaker 5: Who am I?
Speaker 3: Yeah, Like if you gave Becca Viola Davis, you should
Speaker 3: have given me, Like what is that Megan marcle you
Speaker 3: know what I mean.
Speaker 4: I don't think you would have gotten Megan Markle.
Speaker 3: Paris Hilton.
Speaker 5: These are all hard. I think they're all hard because
Speaker 5: they don't fall into the category of actor musician.
Speaker 3: Like, yes, I do like to pigeonhole people, right.
Speaker 5: And when you find the pigeonhollable like a Martha Stewart.
Speaker 3: It was assinine.
Speaker 2: Well, some of our videos have gone have gone on
Speaker 2: the algorithm, like random people's algorithm that don't listen to podcast.
Speaker 2: So they're like, technically, Martha was a model, and I'm like, okay.
Speaker 4: You don't even know Tanya.
Speaker 2: I'm like giving answers towards Tanya, like you know, who
Speaker 2: are you?
Speaker 4: You don't even go here?
Speaker 3: What happens when you go viral? You know, you say control?
Speaker 4: And then people were.
Speaker 2: Like Kelly Clarkson was an actress. She was in from
Speaker 2: Justin to Kelly, I'm.
Speaker 4: Like an actress, I have a doctor.
Speaker 3: Okay, I'm on a podcast, will they'd be like, you,
Speaker 3: you were a model at New York Fashion Miami, New
Speaker 3: York Fact.
Speaker 2: And someone was like, it's Tonya is she a model?
Speaker 4: I'd be like, well, technically.
Speaker 3: Yeah, technically I modeled.
Speaker 4: A model.
Speaker 2: Yeah, wow, that's crazy anyway, So I just want to say,
Speaker 2: we're gonna switch it up a little bit this week.
Speaker 2: But but you know, everyone's always like I love the games,
Speaker 2: I hate the games. I can't keep up with the games,
Speaker 2: but we just do be playing games that we're switching
Speaker 2: it up this week on the game.
Speaker 3: So yeah, but we're switching it up. It's like it's
Speaker 3: gonna be who am I? Adjacent It's going to be
Speaker 3: what number am I?
Speaker 4: Yeah? What age am I? Or yeah? What number?
Speaker 2: This was on our rundown for Monday's episode. But I
Speaker 2: was thinking about it before we get into Dear Bonia.
Speaker 2: But I've been seeing a lot of TikTok videos about
Speaker 2: people whose partners have work wives or work husbands, you
Speaker 2: know what I'm saying, And if it's a red flag,
Speaker 2: like if.
Speaker 4: Probably came home and said.
Speaker 3: My work wife gave me this, I'd be.
Speaker 2: Like, she'd be in the office daily, Tony, I can't
Speaker 2: come to work.
Speaker 4: I gotta go to Robbie's work.
Speaker 2: If he said my word, if he used the term word, Yeah, Well,
Speaker 2: I think what's happening is get.
Speaker 3: Some work out of this wife.
Speaker 4: Whoa, Wow, she did an old school move.
Speaker 2: But wind up and wind up and up them. No.
Speaker 2: I think what's happening is that these women are going
Speaker 2: to their husband's coworkers like parties or you know, dinners
Speaker 2: with their coworkers.
Speaker 4: And then a woman will be like, oh, yeah, like
Speaker 4: my work husband, or you're the you're the real wife.
Speaker 4: I'm the work wife. I would you like that, Anya,
Speaker 4: I would be It wouldn't be good.
Speaker 3: It wouldn't be good.
Speaker 4: Yeah.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it'd definitely be a discussion at home about it.
Speaker 4: I'd be nice, I'd be polite.
Speaker 3: But you know what I never told you guys about
Speaker 3: what I went on a double date. This is a
Speaker 3: few weeks ago.
Speaker 4: Now.
Speaker 3: I don't know why I didn't talk about on the podcast.
Speaker 3: It was Robbie, me and Robbie and his college girlfriend
Speaker 3: and her husband.
Speaker 4: Wow.
Speaker 3: Yeah, am I evolved?
Speaker 4: Yeah?
Speaker 3: I would say so, thank you. I know, how was
Speaker 3: it so fun? Like I was dreading it kind of
Speaker 3: you know. I was like, oh, here we go, and
Speaker 3: I don't know either of these people. They like like,
Speaker 3: uh saw each other at his reunion and they're like, oh,
Speaker 3: we're coming to LA for this a couple of weeks
Speaker 3: in the summer. So we got dinner and I was like,
Speaker 3: I cannot believe I'm having dinner with my husband's ex
Speaker 3: girlfriend from college and her now husband.
Speaker 4: How long have they How long did they date?
Speaker 3: Like a year over year? Oh wow, it wasn't like
Speaker 3: a flash of the pan.
Speaker 2: It's like kind of in the grain spate. Yeah, kind
Speaker 2: of a flash in the pan. Yeah, so you were
Speaker 2: just totally fine.
Speaker 3: More than fine. But I didn't really connect the dots.
Speaker 3: They had slept together. Later on, I going to bring
Speaker 3: it up, but I was like, I didn't connect those
Speaker 3: dots are drive home And then I was like, oh
Speaker 3: that's okay, Yeah it's fine. She's so cute. I was like,
Speaker 3: I totally it was so it was like I get
Speaker 3: it and totally get it.
Speaker 2: We would have been such good friends in college.
Speaker 4: That's fun.
Speaker 2: Probably I felt very like, of all it is because
Speaker 2: you weren't.
Speaker 4: Always like that.
Speaker 3: Yeah, well this is the new me care free.
Speaker 4: Wow, she's new she's fresh.
Speaker 3: What else do you Well.
Speaker 2: We have some stuff from Gina which Mark can get
Speaker 2: right into.
Speaker 5: All right, Gina says, you've had a slew of neighborly
Speaker 5: dear Banya's lately. Well, my wife and I moved into
Speaker 5: a town home in January. We all have our own
Speaker 5: driveways and they're back into a shared parking lot. We
Speaker 5: said hi to our neighbors. We don't really know them yet.
Speaker 5: They have two young kids, five and six. On Monday
Speaker 5: there the whole lot was gorgeously repaved by Wednesday. Their
Speaker 5: kids that completely cover their driveway with chalk, and we
Speaker 5: noticed they colored on our driveway too. The kicker their
Speaker 5: babies that are joined in because there was big lettering
Speaker 5: that the kids couldn't have done by themselves. So the
Speaker 5: question isn't really whether we should say something, but would
Speaker 5: you be annoyed because we were.
Speaker 2: I don't think i'd care. It sounds like they're right
Speaker 2: next to each like the it's not like that. It
Speaker 2: doesn't sound like there's grass or anything in between the driveways.
Speaker 2: It sounds like they're they're just their sections are right
Speaker 2: next to each other, but all covered in cement.
Speaker 3: You know what I'm saying, yeah, I'm not getting a
Speaker 3: great visual. But if somebody is chalking up my driveway,
Speaker 3: I don't think.
Speaker 4: I like that. I don't. I don't think it's unless
Speaker 4: they're doing.
Speaker 3: Explicit photos, and well then I'd like it.
Speaker 2: Wow, she has standards, but they're not what you think. Yeah,
Speaker 2: I don't think I would be annoyed. I think if
Speaker 2: you look out there and I don't know, I mean,
Speaker 2: I don't know why, whoa, it's just ugly.
Speaker 3: Yeah, think about it. Think about your sitting on your
Speaker 3: front porch and your rocking. I don't know, I'm kidding,
Speaker 3: I'm kidding, and you have just chalk all over your driveway.
Speaker 3: I wouldn't bother you. I think it would bother me.
Speaker 5: Not only would it not bother me, I love it really.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I think request make I think that makes some requests.
Speaker 5: A neighborhood with children is a vibrant, exciting neighborhood to
Speaker 5: live in. In my opinion, a neighborhood where the kids
Speaker 5: have all grown and gone away is a boring, stagnant neighborhood.
Speaker 5: Kids add life to a neighborhood. So when our neighbors
Speaker 5: we have kids all over our neighborhood and I remember
Speaker 5: in the last couple of years, Ruby, our next door neighbor,
Speaker 5: and her friends all over our driveway, their driveway chalk everywhere.
Speaker 5: It made me smile ear to ear because I remember
Speaker 5: having little kids who loved sidewalk chalk, and I just,
Speaker 5: I don't know, you know what, I love it. Sprinklers
Speaker 5: go and the rain comes and it's gone. But for
Speaker 5: the time it's there, I think it's wonderful.
Speaker 3: Wow.
Speaker 2: I think if they're like, I don't love when kids
Speaker 2: are like screaming and yelling personally, that doesn't excite me
Speaker 2: when I'm in my home and I can hear that, Like,
Speaker 2: I'm not like thrilled when I.
Speaker 3: Aid neighborhood though, that's like we don't.
Speaker 4: I don't.
Speaker 2: Yeah, and your situation where you how your driveway is,
Speaker 2: you wouldn't have that.
Speaker 3: That's what I'm saying. It's like you'd have to be actively,
Speaker 3: you'd have to actually trust.
Speaker 4: Trespassing.
Speaker 3: Yeah, Like it'd be weird. I just find it to
Speaker 3: be weird.
Speaker 4: I think this.
Speaker 2: I would just let this roll off your back, maybe
Speaker 2: go request some designs that you'd want to see in
Speaker 2: your driveway and let it be personally. But I also
Speaker 2: think if you want to set up I think if
Speaker 2: you're annoyed, I don't, but like they play it out.
Speaker 3: She goes up and says, hey, can you she's.
Speaker 4: Not saying that.
Speaker 2: She's not saying she said, we're This isn't really whether
Speaker 2: if we should say something.
Speaker 4: But would you be annoyed because we I don't think.
Speaker 3: Yeah, you can't play it out?
Speaker 4: Like play it out.
Speaker 3: You sound like a total grumpster. Keep your kids chalk
Speaker 3: off mind drive.
Speaker 4: Think you're allowed to feel however you want to feel.
Speaker 2: I think if you're annoyed that they're drawing in your driveway,
Speaker 2: then that's totally valid because.
Speaker 4: It's just how you feel.
Speaker 2: But I also think, you know, there's a lot of
Speaker 2: annoying things in the world, and I'm just glad these
Speaker 2: kids are playing with chalk instead of their iPads.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I know, but like when I was a kid,
Speaker 3: we used to throw our bikes on our neighbors lawns,
Speaker 3: like we just throw them everywhere. We don't have that now, Yeah,
Speaker 3: not at all. No, you can't ride a bike on
Speaker 3: our street is dang dangerous.
Speaker 2: Yeah, so, Gina, I think it's just, you know, ask
Speaker 2: them to draw you something, you know, rainbows.
Speaker 4: You your why, Yeah, part of the community. Let's celebrate it.
Speaker 2: Make your request be like while you're out here, this
Speaker 2: is what I'd like. If you're gonna draw my driveway,
Speaker 2: this is what I want.
Speaker 4: That's one way to do it.
Speaker 2: Okay, we have a bff whose husband is not supportive.
Speaker 5: This feels timely after Ali was on the pod and
Speaker 5: Becca went to visit her other bestie, jojo Becca, if
Speaker 5: you ever dealt with a friend's partner who wasn't accepting
Speaker 5: of your relationship with Haley and how did you handle it.
Speaker 5: I recently came out and have been with my partner
Speaker 5: for just over a year. My best friend was one
Speaker 5: of the few people who knew from the beginning was
Speaker 5: very supportive, but recently her husband found out and he
Speaker 5: is not supportive. My best friend says, hey, it doesn't
Speaker 5: affect us, but I can feel her becoming distant. We
Speaker 5: used to hang out regularly, but now there always seems
Speaker 5: to be an excuse, and I haven't seen her son
Speaker 5: and over a month. She says, life is just busy,
Speaker 5: but I feel like her husband is having an impact.
Speaker 5: We've been best friends for over fifteen years. I can't
Speaker 5: imagine love without her. I would never ask her to choose,
Speaker 5: but I also don't think her husband's feelings should change
Speaker 5: our friendship. How would you handle this? Love the podcast,
Speaker 5: the games, the banter, and I do kind of miss
Speaker 5: scrub a dub dub.
Speaker 4: Bless up, Miss oh Man.
Speaker 2: This is so hard. I haven't had this happen to me.
Speaker 2: I'm trying to think if I've had any certainly had
Speaker 2: people not be supported.
Speaker 4: Yeah, but it wasn't like a one or the other
Speaker 4: who are thinking.
Speaker 5: They're whispering to each other.
Speaker 3: Sorry, Yeah, that's where my head went.
Speaker 4: No, that's kind of different, though. I feel like.
Speaker 2: I haven't had this, and it definitely I wouldn't write
Speaker 2: it off as nothing, like, I definitely think your intuition
Speaker 2: is right, Like, I don't think you're overthinking this. Or
Speaker 2: there's probably the husband saying I don't want her to
Speaker 2: be around my child because I don't want them to
Speaker 2: be exposed to that relationship. I'm just saying, like that
Speaker 2: could be the conversation that's being had. I think you
Speaker 2: just need to have a hard conversation with your friend
Speaker 2: and see where she stands on it, and just you know,
Speaker 2: be honest. I think having a friendship for fifteen years.
Speaker 2: I would like to think that if that happened with
Speaker 2: any of my best friends like that, I would go
Speaker 2: to them and say, hey, I'm I'm really hurt that
Speaker 2: you know I'm seeing you less. I know you're busy
Speaker 2: with the baby, but I can't help but feel like
Speaker 2: it's because so and so isn't supportive of me and
Speaker 2: doesn't want you hanging out with me. So I just
Speaker 2: want to tell you, like how I'm feeling and see
Speaker 2: where you're at with it, because you say we're fine,
Speaker 2: but it doesn't feel like everything's fine.
Speaker 3: Yeah, that's so hard. Oh yeah, I'm really sorry, so.
Speaker 2: Sorry, And sometimes it's just kind of God. I'm so
Speaker 2: grateful my friends have such amazing partners who are so supportive.
Speaker 3: No, I think like partners really make a huge difference,
Speaker 3: because I think about it, like, just play it out.
Speaker 3: Let's say you and Robbie didn't like each other and
Speaker 3: didn't get along, like it would affect our friendship. Yeah,
Speaker 3: and like it just it just happens. I feel like
Speaker 3: it happens all the time.
Speaker 4: I know.
Speaker 2: I'm so grateful. Wow, that just like sparked something new
Speaker 2: to be grateful for.
Speaker 5: I'm probably also embarrassed if her husband is a bigot.
Speaker 4: Yeah she should be.
Speaker 5: Yeah, she should be.
Speaker 2: What I think, Anonymous, is that your friend needs to
Speaker 2: stand up for you and say, this is my friend
Speaker 2: that I've known for fifteen years and she's happy and
Speaker 2: I support her, and I don't want my friendship with
Speaker 2: her to to not exist because of your views. I
Speaker 2: think that I hope that she's able to stand up
Speaker 2: for herself and for you, because that's a real friend. Yeah,
Speaker 2: but I'm really sorry you're going through this and it
Speaker 2: might just be a hard conversation that you need to have,
Speaker 2: and unfortunately it might come down to y'all not being
Speaker 2: as close and you seeking new friends who do support
Speaker 2: you and you're a partner, and that's hard. But sometimes
Speaker 2: life is just like that. And believe me, I know
Speaker 2: about it.
Speaker 3: Yeah. Life is life.
Speaker 2: Life does and you can't change people. You can't change
Speaker 2: how people view things. You can't change how people view you.
Speaker 2: But your friend should should be able to stand up
Speaker 2: for herself and for you mostly so.
Speaker 4: You're a true.
Speaker 3: Friend.
Speaker 4: Yeah. So I'm grateful Robbie. I'm grateful for him and
Speaker 4: his support. Hannah Montana. He loves you, I love him,
Speaker 4: and I just feel like y'all are both so supportive
Speaker 4: of my relationship. I've never felt otherwise. I'm grateful.
Speaker 3: I'm grateful, too grateful.
Speaker 4: What's that one?
Speaker 3: Because I'm grateful?
Speaker 5: Yeah, right, grateful.
Speaker 4: I don't know.
Speaker 3: I think it's maybe like some sort of hymn.
Speaker 4: O should we do ghosted by her girlfriend? Next?
Speaker 5: Let's do that?
Speaker 4: How do we come back?
Speaker 2: We're back, We're back, and we have someone who's been
Speaker 2: I think Anonymous has been ghosted by her girlfriend? Or
Speaker 2: is this an third person or first person?
Speaker 5: I think you're right. I think your endstinct is right.
Speaker 5: My long difference girlfriend and I have been together for
Speaker 5: over two and a half years. We met in the
Speaker 5: same city, then lived two and a half hours apart,
Speaker 5: and now she's four hours away. We always made the difference, work,
Speaker 5: supported each other through everything, and talked about the future together,
Speaker 5: and I thought we were really solid. This summer everything changed.
Speaker 5: She moved home, started an extremely demanding overnight camp job,
Speaker 5: was taking classes and applying to nursing school. I became
Speaker 5: anxious about how our relationship would survive at all. And
Speaker 5: I know I didn't always show up for her the
Speaker 5: way she needed and I apologized for that, but our
Speaker 5: communication quickly disappeared. In May, she told me my emotions
Speaker 5: were exhausting her. In June, we barely communicated. By July,
Speaker 5: she stopped responding altogether, even on my birthday. Nice her
Speaker 5: summer job ended, and I've seen her posting on Instagram.
Speaker 5: All my messages still go unanswered. I'm heartbroken and confused
Speaker 5: about how we went from talking about forever to basically
Speaker 5: nothing in just a few months. Everyone tells me her
Speaker 5: silence is my closure, but after two and a half years,
Speaker 5: it's hard to accept that. Do I try one last
Speaker 5: time for an honest conversation or do I accept that
Speaker 5: the relationship is over and she won't speak to me?
Speaker 5: How do you break up with a ghost?
Speaker 4: I'm first of all, I'm really sorry. This is crazy.
Speaker 3: It's actually crazy.
Speaker 2: Giving If I didn't know that you had met in person,
Speaker 2: I would think that this was a catfish or something. Yeah,
Speaker 2: I think I would just send a final message and
Speaker 2: say I just want you to know it's over. I've
Speaker 2: decided to I'm moving on.
Speaker 3: And the way she says her she's trying to message
Speaker 3: her in her messages she's posting on Instagram, but her
Speaker 3: and messages go unanswered. No, thank you. You do not
Speaker 3: give her any more time of your day.
Speaker 2: No. I would just be like, hey, I just wanted
Speaker 2: to let you know that I've noticed that I cannot
Speaker 2: get in touch with you, but I see you posting.
Speaker 4: Yeah, I would say, I would end.
Speaker 3: It, block her, I would unfollow, I would block her
Speaker 3: from seeing your page.
Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah, you can do that.
Speaker 2: I would just I would end it so that it's
Speaker 2: it's you have proof that you ended it, but it's ended.
Speaker 4: I know. But I'm just saying just to be like,
Speaker 4: because I.
Speaker 3: Don't even give her that satisfaction.
Speaker 2: I would I would like, let like you made the
Speaker 2: final choice, you have the final say it's over.
Speaker 4: Ghost.
Speaker 2: I would say, hey, ghosts, Hey, I'm not sure how
Speaker 2: to break up with a ghost. That's literally what i'd say, Hey,
Speaker 2: I'm not sure how to break up with a ghost.
Speaker 2: But I thought we I thought you were better than this.
Speaker 2: I thought you'd at least give me.
Speaker 3: The psycho to date somebody for long distance, for that
Speaker 3: long and then just completely.
Speaker 2: Yeah that's but I'm glad you're going to be out
Speaker 2: of this because she feels scary to me.
Speaker 5: Yeah, it sounds like it was good as a long distance,
Speaker 5: but when you got together, it didn't. It just didn't
Speaker 5: work for her, for the other person, it just didn't click.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I would just say hi, I don't know how
Speaker 2: to break up with a ghost, but this is me
Speaker 2: trying in the words of Taylor Swift.
Speaker 3: And wanted you.
Speaker 2: Yeah, and I don't know why you don't have any
Speaker 2: respect for me to even talk to me about this,
Speaker 2: But I'm going to move on with my life. Wish
Speaker 2: you the best, goodbye, And then I would block her
Speaker 2: on everything. I don't think she deserves access to you.
Speaker 2: I think you should just have the final say a
Speaker 2: microphone kind of dumb.
Speaker 5: Like, but I don't know. I think you just move
Speaker 5: on with your life. I think I don't think you block.
Speaker 5: I don't think you you know. I understand you wanting.
Speaker 3: Closure, but you're so weird.
Speaker 5: I don't think you need closure. I think you can
Speaker 5: move on from this. I think she's giving you all
Speaker 5: the like your friends have told you. She's giving you
Speaker 5: all the closure you need. This is over, You move on.
Speaker 5: I'm sorry this happened. It sucks, but I think you
Speaker 5: just got to go.
Speaker 2: I think if saying something gives you forward momentum to
Speaker 2: move on.
Speaker 4: Like if you feel like what, let.
Speaker 3: Me tell you somebody who has tried to like get
Speaker 3: the closure in breakups and I always want to like
Speaker 3: have that closure and say the thing. It never gives
Speaker 3: you the closure that.
Speaker 2: You would What would you say when you felt like
Speaker 2: you need a closure?
Speaker 4: Give me some examples are talking about the song you wrote.
Speaker 3: Yeah, just like like when Rob and I broke up,
Speaker 3: and I would like always want to send the last
Speaker 3: like text you know, Oh yeah, that that's that that's
Speaker 3: the closure I needed. No, it never was. So I'm
Speaker 3: I'm living proof of somebody trying to get that word
Speaker 3: in to get the closure.
Speaker 4: And I know you're saying it's not worth that or
Speaker 4: of even thinking of a moss.
Speaker 3: You don't even get the closure, so why waste your
Speaker 3: time or your breath or your energy.
Speaker 5: Closure only comes with letting go. Letting go starts with
Speaker 5: not looking back.
Speaker 3: Whow and you can't spell closure without you?
Speaker 2: That sounds beautiful actually works? One of a Tanya Tanya
Speaker 2: is them that actually works. Oh she's delirious, you guys,
Speaker 2: She's giggle City.
Speaker 4: That was really good. It was very good without you. Yeah,
Speaker 4: maybe she just sends that goodbye.
Speaker 3: You can't sell closure without you.
Speaker 5: By the way, all I do is search quotes about closure,
Speaker 5: and there's a hundred of them. And you should do that, anonymous,
Speaker 5: because these are good.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 5: Healing starts the moment you stop begging for what should
Speaker 5: have been natural.
Speaker 4: Oh that's the one.
Speaker 5: That's a good one.
Speaker 4: That's the one.
Speaker 2: Wait, so does she send her she just reads these?
Speaker 3: Does copy? That would be something I would do.
Speaker 2: Tanya's just giving all over the place. Ad By, She's like,
Speaker 2: don't say anything, and then the next one's.
Speaker 3: A quote, Yeah, copy and Paisy's quotes.
Speaker 5: Closure is a myth. The way people leave your relationship
Speaker 5: is all the closure you need find clarity and actions,
Speaker 5: not words. Bye.
Speaker 4: Isn't it crazy that.
Speaker 2: We're so programmed to accept such little from people, you know,
Speaker 2: Like our expectations are.
Speaker 4: On the floor, They're so on the floor.
Speaker 2: And and I just think about how many amazing people
Speaker 2: are with people who don't deserve their energy and effort.
Speaker 2: Like I was thinking about how I love my relationships
Speaker 2: so much, and I am so happy to put in
Speaker 2: like the work it takes to like keep us strong
Speaker 2: and healthy, but so many people don't deserve that effort.
Speaker 4: And they give it.
Speaker 2: They wait for them to reach out, they wait for
Speaker 2: them to show up for them, And it's like, why
Speaker 2: are we setting our expectations and solow that we choose
Speaker 2: a partner that we have to.
Speaker 4: Ask advice on how to get them to show up
Speaker 4: for us?
Speaker 3: Because I don't think that they start out that way.
Speaker 4: I know why, But why is it one.
Speaker 3: And they don't know what to do? I think that's
Speaker 3: the problem.
Speaker 4: But where is this invite?
Speaker 3: But where is the standard case in point?
Speaker 2: Well, I do think when kids are involved in it's different.
Speaker 2: But I'm saying, if you have no attachment with like
Speaker 2: kids and stuff, just like knowing your own self worth,
Speaker 2: why do we accept the bare minimum?
Speaker 3: Because again, people are scared. They're scared of being alone.
Speaker 3: They're scared they won't find anything even better than that
Speaker 3: they have tell you like this is these are like
Speaker 3: real fears that people like have.
Speaker 4: So what's the solution.
Speaker 3: Therapy? I guess I don't know.
Speaker 2: I think it's just I just hope if you're listening
Speaker 2: to this and you're in a relationship where you're getting nothing,
Speaker 2: that you realize you you are worth more than that.
Speaker 3: I just think women get stuck for several different variants,
Speaker 3: one being financial. They if they separated, got divorced or
Speaker 3: whatever from their partner, they would not be able to
Speaker 3: like live. They want to be able to like life,
Speaker 3: and so they feel financially stuck. Some people feel stuck
Speaker 3: because of the kids. They don't want to get a
Speaker 3: divorced because they don't want to spend fifty percent of
Speaker 3: their time with their with their children. A lot of
Speaker 3: people feel stuck because they're getting older, and as you
Speaker 3: get older as a woman, the dating pool gets less
Speaker 3: and less because the guys your age are dating twenty
Speaker 3: years younger than them.
Speaker 2: I guess, like, how is being alone and having your
Speaker 2: own life and doing without having like, how is that
Speaker 2: not better than being with a head?
Speaker 3: Because I think some people would prefer to be with
Speaker 3: the shi head then be alone.
Speaker 4: Facts.
Speaker 2: I'm just here to tell you that. I mean, I
Speaker 2: get all the things you listen. I understand there are
Speaker 2: circumstances where you feel more stuck trapped. So I understand that. However,
Speaker 2: I think if you are financially independent and you aren't
Speaker 2: having to think about the kids and like all of that,
Speaker 2: and you're not married even don't be free.
Speaker 3: Some people don't want to be free. They're scared to
Speaker 3: be free.
Speaker 2: They're scared, But don't be scared to be free.
Speaker 4: You can have the life that.
Speaker 2: You dream of without having someone that brings you down.
Speaker 4: Be up, not down.
Speaker 3: I'm with you. You can't smell up without you. You can't
Speaker 3: or pee, and you can't pee unless you hydrate.
Speaker 1: Okay, Well, if you really want closure, that's at some
Speaker 1: point you have to shut the door, shut it and
Speaker 1: move on.
Speaker 5: Anonymous, you are a single. I'm sorry, but that's okay.
Speaker 4: Yeah, shut it and lock it. Lock the door. This
Speaker 4: ghosts needs to be locked out. Son, he's falling asleep.
Speaker 3: Ton is in bad shape.
Speaker 4: Do you want to give some mouth tape advice? Oh,
Speaker 4: I'll before we get into the game.
Speaker 2: Because if our podcast is nothing if not informative medical sleep.
Speaker 3: Advice, I would love nothing more than to give some.
Speaker 3: Maybe we can have given a bridged version of this
Speaker 3: email from erin day one.
Speaker 5: Scrubber Yours is the only podcast I listened to loyally.
Speaker 5: I've never missed an episode. Thank you for sharing your
Speaker 5: lives with us and making my car rides and dinner
Speaker 5: cooking time so much better. Sweet, I'm extremely blessed in
Speaker 5: my relationship Like all of you, My husband and I
Speaker 5: met twenty years ago. They did three separate times before
Speaker 5: getting engaged. We married nine years, two kids. He's the
Speaker 5: most emotionally supportive husband I could ask for, provides for
Speaker 5: us financially, and does all the ironing and baking. But
Speaker 5: my word, does the man snore? I mean suck the
Speaker 5: paint off the ceiling, clear the room, the hull, the
Speaker 5: floor snore. He even stores while wearing his seat pap machine.
Speaker 5: So here, I am at my absolute wits end when
Speaker 5: I remember, Hey, Tanya and Robbie swear my mouth tape.
Speaker 5: I have been off Instagram for months, so forgive me
Speaker 5: if you've already shared this, but please influence me. What
Speaker 5: mouth tape do you use? Tanya, sincerely, trying not to
Speaker 5: smother my husband with a pillow. Ps is asking your
Speaker 5: favorite podcast for a mouth tape code a dead ringer
Speaker 5: for being a middle aged millennial? Yikes?
Speaker 3: It, Mark is just agis over there.
Speaker 5: I didn't say that that was her.
Speaker 3: She wrote that likes to talk about how we're middle aged.
Speaker 3: Had that has evolved? That's true from dating to mouth tape?
Speaker 5: What was it? What were you talking about like dish
Speaker 5: rags or something. I forgot what it was. Yeahs gloves,
Speaker 5: dish gloves, that's what it was. That's what I realized.
Speaker 2: She's trying to find her her mouth tape.
Speaker 3: Oh yeah, okay, So the mouth tape that I used,
Speaker 3: I because I used so many different brands. The one
Speaker 3: that I use now is drift Sleep. This is non
Speaker 3: ad at d R y FT. I just find their
Speaker 3: tape to be like, it doesn't leave like a film
Speaker 3: on my mouth, and it's like shaped like your lips,
Speaker 3: so it's not like covering a bunch of like the
Speaker 3: skin around your lips. However, I'm a little bit concerned
Speaker 3: when you say that he even snores wearing his seapot machine.
Speaker 3: If he's still snoring wearing that thing, I'm not sure
Speaker 3: that the mouth tape is going to stop him either.
Speaker 3: I feel like if it is that strong, right.
Speaker 5: Die, he might stop.
Speaker 4: I was gonna say that might be bad advice.
Speaker 3: No, it's supposed to be. It's good for snoring. It
Speaker 3: like stops you from But if you have a spot machine, yeah,
Speaker 3: the seapap machine would consult your doctor. His doctor what
Speaker 3: threw me off a little bit, But it does stop
Speaker 3: you from snoring. It encourages you to breathe through your
Speaker 3: nose not your mouth, which has much more health benefits too.
Speaker 3: For example, I can't think on the top of my head.
Speaker 4: Is there a world where you can where earplugs? Could
Speaker 4: that help?
Speaker 3: Yeah? They make really good wax ones that you like
Speaker 3: put like noise canceling they put you put them in.
Speaker 3: Then it's like wax. It feels like the whole ear hole.
Speaker 4: Uh huh.
Speaker 3: Those could be good for you.
Speaker 2: Maybe start I would look into see if mouth tape
Speaker 2: is safe with the sea pat machine yeah, the doctor
Speaker 2: uh huh, and then I would maybe invest in some
Speaker 2: good I would do some research for yourself with.
Speaker 3: Earplugs and and another thing to give him. Robbie uses, uh,
Speaker 3: the nose tape as well. I think that feels safer,
Speaker 3: so it expands your nostrils.
Speaker 4: We don't need this man to not be able to breathe.
Speaker 4: So I feel like the nose tape.
Speaker 3: Tape opens your nose, and then the mouth tape closes
Speaker 3: your mouth. You have more air in your nose. It's
Speaker 3: quite excellent.
Speaker 2: Okay, Well come here for any advice on anything, because
Speaker 2: we're here for you. Scrubbing in listeners, We're going to
Speaker 2: get into our game where basically we're gonna have a
Speaker 2: number between one and one hundred on our head on
Speaker 2: our forehead, and it's kind of the celebrity guess who game,
Speaker 2: but we're trying to guess the number. But we can't
Speaker 2: ask any number related questions boring.
Speaker 5: Huh, they'll be boring. Is it more than thirty? Is
Speaker 5: less than fifty? That's right?
Speaker 4: Right?
Speaker 2: So it's more like, would I get a ticket if
Speaker 2: I was going this this many miles?
Speaker 4: Problems on the freeway, et cetera.
Speaker 5: So I have your ages right.
Speaker 2: Here, and Tanya is going to have to get creative.
Speaker 4: With her questions.
Speaker 3: You can see myself.
Speaker 2: Well, we're going to do the exact same thing we
Speaker 2: do every other time. We're going to flip the camera
Speaker 2: so we'll be right back.
Speaker 3: We'll be right back.
Speaker 4: A math, I need to put cover one.
Speaker 2: We're back, all right, this is a new one. So
Speaker 2: should we do one at a time?
Speaker 3: Mark? Can I have a pen? Please?
Speaker 5: Of course you can.
Speaker 4: Should we do one at a time or we do
Speaker 4: them back and forth? Ping pong?
Speaker 5: I think back and forth, ping pong.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 2: I think the other thing is that you only get
Speaker 2: two guesses is how they do it, so you can
Speaker 2: guess twice?
Speaker 3: Oh yeah, the number?
Speaker 4: Yeah? Okay, all right, you can start.
Speaker 3: Thank you Becca. Have I been this number before?
Speaker 4: Oh that's a good question.
Speaker 3: No Ah.
Speaker 2: Would I be over the legal drinking aged?
Speaker 4: Yes?
Speaker 3: Am I a temperature that you could be in Arizona?
Speaker 5: Okay, let's rephrase.
Speaker 3: I suppose so okay, is if i'm this number, do
Speaker 3: I have a fever?
Speaker 4: No? No? What that's an excellent question.
Speaker 5: It's really not. We'll talk about why later.
Speaker 3: Yeah, because a fever is above ninety six point something.
Speaker 5: Okay.
Speaker 2: If they say, what do you call it? Like a
Speaker 2: monumental birthday number?
Speaker 3: No?
Speaker 4: Milestone milestone birthday number?
Speaker 3: Uh? Okay? Am I a milestone birthday number? No?
Speaker 2: Would I be excited to reach this age in life?
Speaker 3: Yeah?
Speaker 5: Rephrase?
Speaker 4: Yeah? Rephrase like, would I be happy if I lived
Speaker 4: till this age?
Speaker 3: No?
Speaker 5: Right, I would say not particularly. I'm not going to
Speaker 5: enter your head.
Speaker 3: Okay, okay, so I'm not. I have not been this number.
Speaker 3: It's lower than a fever. It's not a milestone. Hmm.
Speaker 3: If I'm paying you a dollar, okay, yeah.
Speaker 4: Oh my god.
Speaker 3: If I'm paying you a day Okay, am I retired
Speaker 3: at this age? Could I retire at this age?
Speaker 2: Yeah?
Speaker 4: Would I get a ticket if I was going this
Speaker 4: speed limit?
Speaker 3: You could? Right?
Speaker 5: Yeah?
Speaker 3: Did I have this many? Did I have less than
Speaker 3: this many people at my wedding?
Speaker 4: No?
Speaker 3: I had more than this many people at my wedding. Yeah,
Speaker 3: that doesn't make sense.
Speaker 4: What You had more people at your wedding.
Speaker 3: Than this number? Yeah, but it's it's not a fee.
Speaker 3: It's lower than a fever.
Speaker 5: Yeah, yes, that is correct. I don't know you had
Speaker 5: more people than this number at your wedding.
Speaker 4: There were more people at your wedding than number.
Speaker 3: On your four I know, but this number is lower
Speaker 3: than a fever, and a fever is ninety six point.
Speaker 5: Okay, it's ninety eight point six. But sure, okay, okay,
Speaker 5: so you've established this less than ninety eight point six?
Speaker 3: Yeah, I had one hundred people at my wedding. Okay,
Speaker 3: how can it be less than ninety eight?
Speaker 5: Wait? If you had one hundred people at your wedding,
Speaker 5: it's a two digit number. Have we established this?
Speaker 4: Oh, it's between one and one hundred.
Speaker 3: No, you didn't tell me that.
Speaker 4: I did.
Speaker 5: I said, it's not two Between one and one hundred.
Speaker 2: Yes, is this number lower than the year I was born?
Speaker 2: Like the like the two digits at the end of
Speaker 2: the year is born, or that you were born?
Speaker 5: Yes?
Speaker 3: Yeah, what a weird question?
Speaker 4: Not from you? Okay?
Speaker 3: Is this is this number the same same two numbers? No?
Speaker 4: Great question?
Speaker 2: Would I be able to Is this like an age
Speaker 2: where it would be considered geriatric pregnancy? No, it's not
Speaker 2: geriatric pregnancy.
Speaker 3: Correct, just regular good old pregnancy. Okay, So I'm lower
Speaker 3: than a fever, but I'm higher than the amount of
Speaker 3: people at my wedding, which was Oh no.
Speaker 5: No, no, there were more people at your wedding than
Speaker 5: the number on your forehead.
Speaker 3: Oh okay, got it? Okay, okay, understood. If I were
Speaker 3: to eat a pie and I had twenty percent that
Speaker 3: I didn't eat, would that be higher than this number?
Speaker 5: Would the remaining amount of pie be a higher percentage
Speaker 5: than that number?
Speaker 2: I don't even know that she lost me, Mark, I
Speaker 2: don't know answer to that.
Speaker 5: I'm not sure this game is working. But that number
Speaker 5: is less than the remaining pie. Your number is less
Speaker 5: than the remaining pie.
Speaker 3: Okay, So okay, I don't know.
Speaker 2: If I like this game, would I get honked at
Speaker 2: if I was going to speed on the freeway, Yes,
Speaker 2: if I had a dollar, why are we doing massing? Like?
Speaker 4: Sorry?
Speaker 3: I say, if if I was buying something that was
Speaker 3: ninety five cents mark?
Speaker 5: What are you doing? Every question? The story problem.
Speaker 3: I gave you a dollar, would you give me five
Speaker 3: cents back?
Speaker 5: Yes? What does that have to do with this game?
Speaker 5: That's no, that's no. You just said you said if
Speaker 5: if I gave you a dollar for something that ninety
Speaker 5: five cents, would you give me a nickelback? Yes? We
Speaker 5: would now go ahead and ask the question about your
Speaker 5: forehead number.
Speaker 3: This is crazy, Okay. Do a lot of people live
Speaker 3: to this age?
Speaker 5: Yeah, that's a good question.
Speaker 3: Yes, a lot of people live to this age.
Speaker 4: Yeah.
Speaker 2: Would I be within an age range to go on
Speaker 2: a dating reality show?
Speaker 3: Yeah?
Speaker 4: Maybe we guessed in the next I think we may
Speaker 4: need to guess soon. Yeah.
Speaker 5: And whoever's closest wins.
Speaker 4: Put me out of this misery?
Speaker 3: Am I ninety one?
Speaker 4: I wasn't saying, guests, now I'm a No, you're not.
Speaker 5: Your guess is ninety one?
Speaker 2: Yeah?
Speaker 4: You get two?
Speaker 5: All right?
Speaker 4: Am I twenty nine?
Speaker 5: No? So you now you get another one?
Speaker 4: Well?
Speaker 2: I guess you can go again, or ask a question
Speaker 2: or guest, I guess, am I eighty nine?
Speaker 5: No? All right Becca?
Speaker 4: Last guests am I twenty seven?
Speaker 5: Yes, Becca wins again. Although I'm not sure we played
Speaker 5: that correctly.
Speaker 2: Or well, you guys not well, I think we I
Speaker 2: think we played correctly except for the by six.
Speaker 5: Seven six seven. That's why we gave you that one,
Speaker 5: because you got into six seven so much.
Speaker 3: I was way off.
Speaker 5: Yeah.
Speaker 2: One of my least favorite parts of Just School in
Speaker 2: general were math questions that said, if I gave you
Speaker 2: a dollar and I just was triggering.
Speaker 5: Eighty pie the pie one?
Speaker 4: Wow, all right, Well, maybe we move on to Jeopardy
Speaker 4: or something. Birthday game.
Speaker 3: Well, I don't think the number game is our game,
Speaker 3: but you know what, every failure is every everybody wins,
Speaker 3: every winner is a failure, and every failure doesn't always win.
Speaker 2: So I think that that game requires very creative questions,
Speaker 2: and I think sometimes even in the celebrity one, that's
Speaker 2: where you get a little stuck, is asking questions that
Speaker 2: lead you to the answer. So that was that was tough,
Speaker 2: but we tried it, and I appreciate the effort.
Speaker 4: Thank you for letting me win.
Speaker 3: The fact that she guessed it.
Speaker 4: But that is all for now.
Speaker 2: Thank you for if you were able to play along.
Speaker 4: Thank you for playing.
Speaker 2: Along, and we will be back next week with redditing episode.
Speaker 3: We won't do it again, so please don't write in.
Speaker 4: No yeah yeah.
Speaker 2: First of all, you don't need to let us know
Speaker 2: if you hated it. The video will be entertaining enough
Speaker 2: just for what just took place, but don't worry.
Speaker 3: That one will be a one and done on the cutting.
Speaker 4: Round, So don't even don't even let us know if.
Speaker 3: You hated it, yeah, saor typing.
Speaker 2: Save your tears for another day. Yeah, have a wonderful weekend.
Speaker 2: We love you so much.
Speaker 4: Bye,