Speaker 1: You're listening to Comedy Central.
Speaker 2: From the most trusted journalists at Comedy Central is America's
Speaker 2: only sorts for news.
Speaker 1: This it's the Daily.
Speaker 3: Chick with your home from its.
Speaker 1: Hey, welcome to the Daily Show. I'm Roy Chang. We
Speaker 1: got so much to talk about tonight.
Speaker 4: The Supreme Court gets left on red, Democrats are hitting up.
Speaker 4: They'll sell the door for spring break, and someone at
Speaker 4: Harvard does not like them apples.
Speaker 1: So let's get into it.
Speaker 3: I'm going to comedy.
Speaker 4: Yesterday was a big day in American history. A group
Speaker 4: of women finally met society's expectations to weigh zero pounds.
Speaker 4: And also Donald Trump figured out that when the Supreme
Speaker 4: Court tells him to do something, he can just ignore them,
Speaker 4: which is why I'm always saying the Supreme Court needs nukes. Okay,
Speaker 4: that's way more effective than that little hammer. Because right now,
Speaker 4: it's been five days since they told Donald Trump to
Speaker 4: help bring back kilmar Garcia after they accidentally deported him
Speaker 4: to the mega prison in El Salvador, and it doesn't
Speaker 4: seem like anyone's in a rush to bring him back.
Speaker 5: The job administration says it cannot return a marilynd Man
Speaker 5: mistakenly deported to El Salvador or Trump officials to argue
Speaker 5: that since Abrigo Garcia is locked inside a prison in
Speaker 5: El Salvador, it's essentially not their problem anymore and they
Speaker 5: can't do anything about it.
Speaker 6: But yesterday at the White House, bu Kelly said he
Speaker 6: didn't have the authority to release Garcia either.
Speaker 3: I don't have the power to return him to the
Speaker 3: United States.
Speaker 4: This is like every customer service call I've ever been on. Oh,
Speaker 4: I'm sorry, this is billing. You're looking for technical support,
Speaker 4: me transfer you. Hello, this is te goal support. Oh sorry,
Speaker 4: you need billy? Can someone just help me cancel my
Speaker 4: cable accept for Company Central? Which is a vital service
Speaker 4: for American society.
Speaker 1: But the Trump.
Speaker 4: Administration isn't just enjoying the fun new constitutional loophole. They're
Speaker 4: also going on offense. That's why Stephen Miller, Trump advisor
Speaker 4: and multi verser's most whiney lex luthor, was also on
Speaker 4: the driveway, asking questions he did not want the answer to.
Speaker 4: Can anyone here tell me what would happen to the
Speaker 4: illegally alien from mel Salvor if he came back from
Speaker 4: that space?
Speaker 2: Does anyone here now do anyone want to guess any.
Speaker 3: Of you you could be with his family?
Speaker 1: What did do any of you know the answer to
Speaker 1: the question?
Speaker 3: Legally? What would happen if he came back here?
Speaker 6: Does any of you know anything?
Speaker 2: Do you really do?
Speaker 3: Course I'm talking?
Speaker 2: You really believe I'm praying before I'm talking?
Speaker 3: Though?
Speaker 7: Doesn't think?
Speaker 3: Or why was it? Naw, you're done.
Speaker 1: You asked the question.
Speaker 3: Man.
Speaker 4: You can't be mad that they're trying to answer you.
Speaker 4: It's like if a teacher said, okay, class, who can
Speaker 4: tell me the capital of Norway?
Speaker 1: Anyone, anyone? Shut the fuck up, now answer a question.
Speaker 1: I said, shut up. But it's not just Steven Miller.
Speaker 4: The entire Trump administration is getting frustrated with how these
Speaker 4: dumb libs are winding about this one guy from Maryland.
Speaker 1: Oh, it's so awful.
Speaker 4: We accidentally sent a guy to the world's wall's prison
Speaker 4: without trial or due process.
Speaker 1: Shut the fuck up?
Speaker 4: Okay, because according to Homeland Security, he wasn't that great.
Speaker 8: The media would love for you to believe that this
Speaker 8: is a media darling, that he's just some Maryland father. Well,
Speaker 8: Osama bin Lauden was also a father, and yet he
Speaker 8: wasn't a good guy, and they actually are both terrorists.
Speaker 1: This tween influencer is right.
Speaker 4: It's the position of this administration that all fathers are
Speaker 4: basically Osama bin Lauden. I mean, seriously, this guy has
Speaker 4: no criminal record at all. If he's a terrorist, he
Speaker 4: might be the worst terrorist ever. I mean, he's been
Speaker 4: in America for fourteen years and hasn't done any terrorism.
Speaker 4: So maybe Trump is right, Maybe immigrants really are lazy.
Speaker 4: What like, what is happening here? Okay, this is America.
Speaker 4: We don't just send someone to prison without evidence. We
Speaker 4: plan the evidence on them. It's called due process. But
Speaker 4: at least one Democrat is actually going to do something
Speaker 4: about this.
Speaker 1: Marylyn.
Speaker 5: Senator Chris Van Holland says he's considering going to El
Speaker 5: Salvador to meet with the country's president.
Speaker 9: He needs to come home, and that is why I
Speaker 9: do intend to visit El Salvador this week to try
Speaker 9: to visit him, to let him know that we're working
Speaker 9: to bring him home.
Speaker 1: This is a trap. It's a trap. Do not go.
Speaker 1: This guy's gonna go.
Speaker 4: Then the prison gods are going to be like, oh yeah, yeah, sure, Senator, Yeah,
Speaker 4: he's right inside that cell over there. Yeah, go on in,
Speaker 4: just all the way in the back there, just keep going.
Speaker 4: I mean, good for the senator for what he's doing,
Speaker 4: but it's gotta be at least a little disappointing for Garcia.
Speaker 4: He's like, someone's coming to bring me out of prison?
Speaker 4: Is it still Team six? Is it the guy from
Speaker 4: prison break with the tattoos? No, it's me Maryland Senator
Speaker 4: Chris van Holland. But maybe this is the beginning of
Speaker 4: a new resistance to Trump, because other people are starting
Speaker 4: to fight back.
Speaker 1: Wicked had.
Speaker 10: A showdown is now taking shape between the Trump administration
Speaker 10: and America's oldest university, the federal government announcing it will
Speaker 10: freeze more than two billion dollars in grants for Harvard
Speaker 10: and sixty million dollars in contracts after the school refused
Speaker 10: to comply with demands to limit activism on campus, eliminate
Speaker 10: its DEI programs, and make other changes.
Speaker 4: Holy shit, we finally found a force more powerful than
Speaker 4: Trump's hatred, Havard's love of sending rejection letters.
Speaker 1: But look, I don't usually.
Speaker 4: Root for Harvard because the Harvard They've got everything. It's
Speaker 4: like rooting for Jeff Bezos to win the lottery. But
Speaker 4: in this case, I have to give them credit standing
Speaker 4: up for their principles and for everyone's right to free speech,
Speaker 4: even if it means possible financial ruin.
Speaker 11: One of the big questions going forward is Harvard going
Speaker 11: to dip into that fifty billion dollar plus endowment to
Speaker 11: make up for that federal shortfall.
Speaker 4: Okay, I hate them again, But the best part about
Speaker 4: Haava's resistance to Don Trump is that it gives people
Speaker 4: the chance to go on TV and let you know
Speaker 4: where they went to school.
Speaker 1: I myself in a first generation college graduate.
Speaker 12: I graduated from Harvard, and.
Speaker 6: I should disclose I went to Harvard, so I'm very
Speaker 6: familiar with the president and with how the community feels
Speaker 6: right now.
Speaker 5: But as Harvard alum, and as you know, I am
Speaker 5: as well.
Speaker 13: I know many alums, including people I know very closely
Speaker 13: in faculty members like me.
Speaker 14: I know you look really surprised because I'm wearing a
Speaker 14: tie you've never seen before.
Speaker 1: It has it has a little Latin word.
Speaker 14: Inside each one of those symbols there the word veritas,
Speaker 14: meaning truth of course. And this is the one night
Speaker 14: It's a one night only appearance of this time.
Speaker 7: I know that that is not something that you usually
Speaker 7: build board in the world about yourself.
Speaker 1: Oh God.
Speaker 4: The only thing was than people bragging about going to
Speaker 4: Harvard is people pretending to be embarrassed about going to Harvard.
Speaker 1: So oh, my doctors secret. Please don't make me tell anyone, please, No,
Speaker 1: I went to Harvard.
Speaker 4: Harvard, ha, Havard, Havard. My favorite guy is Lawrenzo O'Donnell.
Speaker 4: He's really embarrassed he has to talk about this. I mean,
Speaker 4: it's definitely not something he will bring up all the
Speaker 4: time over the course of many years.
Speaker 14: Let me just say confessionally, I went to Harvard College.
Speaker 12: Most of the good things that have happened to me
Speaker 12: in some way trace back to Harvard. You and I
Speaker 12: as Harvard Americans. Yes, I first heard him speak as
Speaker 12: a guest lecturer at Harvard.
Speaker 3: Okay, well, I got into Harvard too.
Speaker 12: In fact, it was the only college I applied to.
Speaker 1: So I know.
Speaker 4: I'll try to bring people back from the Salvador megaprism.
Speaker 1: But do they have m for one and more?
Speaker 4: Any chance for more on Harvard's resistance to the Trump administration.
Speaker 4: Let's go Live to the White House with Josh Johnson. Josh,
Speaker 4: what's the latest?
Speaker 7: Oh, I'll tell you the latest Ronnie Harvard is about
Speaker 7: to give. I mean, dude, these Cambridge nerds of any
Speaker 7: idea of the kind of power they're dealing with. Donald
Speaker 7: Trump is the president of the United Mother States, right.
Speaker 4: And since he's so powerful, you can also get kilmar
Speaker 4: Garcia back from El Salvador.
Speaker 7: Whoa, whoa, whoa whoa. Donald Trump doesn't have that kind
Speaker 7: of power, all right. He's only the president of the
Speaker 7: United States. That's like being a middle school principal. He
Speaker 7: doesn't even get his own parking space. You want to
Speaker 7: put him up against the sovereign nation of l Salvador,
Speaker 7: the Salvador.
Speaker 1: Don't be crazy, man.
Speaker 4: Okay, okay, wait, but since when does Trump respect sovereign nations?
Speaker 4: I mean, he's been talking all month about invading Greenland.
Speaker 7: And he will. Greenland belongs to America. You know why
Speaker 7: because Doald Trump said so. And when you're swinging around
Speaker 7: a pp as big as Donald Trump's, that's all it takes.
Speaker 1: Okay, So he should do that with El Salvador. With
Speaker 1: his tiny little peep.
Speaker 7: Trump can't tell El Salvador to do that. That country
Speaker 7: is terrifying. They got a prison filled with Osama bin Loddens.
Speaker 7: You saw what one Bin Ladden can do. Just think
Speaker 7: about multiple Osama's Ben's Loddens.
Speaker 4: Okay, Josh Trump can't have it both ways. How can
Speaker 4: he be fighting a trade war with China if he's
Speaker 4: so weak?
Speaker 1: Who you call him? Weak? Bitch?
Speaker 7: Doald Trump has nukes, He's the biggest army in the world.
Speaker 1: They tried to shoot him and just shook it off.
Speaker 4: Okay, Okay, I think I'm getting it here. Okay, So
Speaker 4: when it comes to China, Trump is powerful. He's gone
Speaker 4: on Earth and Canada.
Speaker 1: He's Zeus.
Speaker 7: Maz Trump's he spits on Mars. Then he finds the
Speaker 7: biggest crater and.
Speaker 1: He fox it all right?
Speaker 4: Okay, Like yeah, and El Salvador, what do you expect
Speaker 4: him to do to El Salvador?
Speaker 7: Their president showed up wearing black on black, looking like
Speaker 7: Juan Wick. But Trump Trump's just a scared little kid.
Speaker 7: His mom died twenty five years ago. Do you know
Speaker 7: that you want to put that little orphan boy on
Speaker 7: a plane to El Salvador?
Speaker 1: You sick?
Speaker 4: Okay, I'm sorry, I guess I just don't understand the
Speaker 4: power dynamic.
Speaker 1: Leave that to me, Ronnie. I'm a smart guy. I
Speaker 1: don't usually bring this up, but I went to Harvard.
Speaker 1: Wait what, you went to Harvard to the bookstore.
Speaker 7: Did you know if you say you're going to buy
Speaker 7: a sweatshirt, they'll let you tear up that bathroom.
Speaker 1: Okay, johnsh Johnson.
Speaker 4: Everyone, when we come back, Jessie Lylis, we'll give America
Speaker 4: respects it.
Speaker 15: Don't go away. Welcome back to the Daily Shop. I
Speaker 15: have some disturbing news. America is not the only country
Speaker 15: in the world. But what do these other so called
Speaker 15: countries think of America. To find out, we turned to
Speaker 15: desi lydis.
Speaker 16: Oh respect. We all learned how to spell it from
Speaker 16: that song h ott og o find out what it
Speaker 16: means to me. The scale of respect can go from
Speaker 16: as high as old Kanye to as low as current Kanye.
Speaker 16: It's a wide spectrum, and during his campaign, Donald Trump
Speaker 16: promised that America would be climbing the respect charts again.
Speaker 2: Under my leadership, America soon will be respected again, very quickly,
Speaker 2: respected like never before.
Speaker 4: America will be respected again and admired again.
Speaker 1: Will you win?
Speaker 17: America will be feared and respected again.
Speaker 16: Oh yeah, Remember Trump's garbage era when he wore a
Speaker 16: garbage costume and drove up in a garbage truck. It
Speaker 16: was like y y yamyum in trash. Anyway, he's going
Speaker 16: to get us respected again, and there's nothing the world
Speaker 16: respects more than a good old fashioned trade war. So
Speaker 16: now that we're a few weeks into it, let's see
Speaker 16: how that's going over with the rest of the world,
Speaker 16: starting with China.
Speaker 15: So if the United States wants to go in that
Speaker 15: direction of completely shutting itself out of the standa market.
Speaker 13: Be my guest.
Speaker 6: Yeah, and China will lose the US market, which, as
Speaker 6: I've said, it's fifteen.
Speaker 16: Wait o care ooh damn, I don't know. China also
Speaker 16: manufactured caddy bitches.
Speaker 6: Whoo, I get it.
Speaker 1: I get it.
Speaker 16: Understandably, they're angry at us, but the important thing is
Speaker 16: that they respect us.
Speaker 15: A viral AI generated video is making fun of US
Speaker 15: China trade relations and at tensions escalate Trump.
Speaker 16: And Elon Moskin JD Van making Nike sneakers.
Speaker 7: They're also viral videos of.
Speaker 1: Trump sitting behind a sewing machine in a factory.
Speaker 16: All of this rife on Chinese social media. Wow, this
Speaker 16: is scary. I did not think AI had the power
Speaker 16: to show Donald Trump doing skilled labor. But okay, who
Speaker 16: cares if China doesn't respect us. They're only like a
Speaker 16: quarter of the people on earth. That's not even half.
Speaker 16: I'm sure the rest of the world is bowing down
Speaker 16: to the US. What about you, France? Vulivucouchet respect MOI
Speaker 16: sets wall in France. Menuhil mccron called the tariffs brutal
Speaker 16: and unfounded.
Speaker 1: A town in France has replaced Coca Cola with apple
Speaker 1: juice at municipal events.
Speaker 6: The boycott of Coca Cola.
Speaker 3: We need to punish mister Trump a little bit.
Speaker 6: They will content themselves with the statue of Liberty on
Speaker 6: the Cae Descent in Paris. These French people will not
Speaker 6: set foot in the United States as long as Donald
Speaker 6: Trump is in power.
Speaker 4: I don't want to, although I love America and I've
Speaker 4: been before, but this time that's.
Speaker 1: A no hold on.
Speaker 16: France had a second statue of liberty on the side
Speaker 16: this whole time. That the most French thing I've ever heard.
Speaker 16: But fine, fine, the French, You're hard to please. What
Speaker 16: about other more easy going European nations like Italy, for example?
Speaker 16: Maybe they're showing respect to American officials.
Speaker 12: Could I think musks should be placed under a mandatory
Speaker 12: psychiatric hold.
Speaker 14: This guy has thirteen to fifteen children around the world.
Speaker 14: He's a junkie, a nutcase.
Speaker 16: Come on, hey, hey, hey, hey, you can't talk about
Speaker 16: musk like that. You're not one of his kids, although
Speaker 16: statistically you might be. Wait, am I who cares what
Speaker 16: Europe thinks with their delicious foods and generous paid parental leave.
Speaker 16: Sometimes it's your closest friends and neighbors that see the
Speaker 16: best in you. Like our syrup Somlier's in Canada. Sure,
Speaker 16: we put an economically crippling tariff on them, but we're
Speaker 16: still friends. Right, Give us some of that friendly respect
Speaker 16: you're known for.
Speaker 12: In a country known for its politeness, This morning growing outrage.
Speaker 6: Many of them now boycotting American goods and travel here.
Speaker 9: This is my last Sigmerican PRODUCTA social media erupting with
Speaker 9: calls to buy Canadian and boycott USA.
Speaker 16: So you can bye bye America and you can buy Canadian.
Speaker 3: You love that, right, apply for that.
Speaker 16: You've even that Canadian morning show's been mean to us.
Speaker 16: Keep in mind the rest of that show is just
Speaker 16: the co host apologizing that the weather isn't nicer. Guys,
Speaker 16: we even lost Canada. Is there anyone in the world
Speaker 16: that still respects us?
Speaker 4: These are not action swan dust to a friend, totally
Speaker 4: unnecessary and stupid.
Speaker 6: The madness of a mentally ill.
Speaker 11: Man the biggest assault we have seen since the end
Speaker 11: of the Second World War.
Speaker 1: The mess they use is dumb mess.
Speaker 18: They've been calculated in a way that makes back of
Speaker 18: the envelope Crayola crayon scrawlings look like the work of
Speaker 18: Isaac Newton.
Speaker 16: Oh that felt like going through. It's a small world.
Speaker 16: But all those puppet children are telling us to write off.
Speaker 16: So there you have it. Donald Trump promised we'd be
Speaker 16: respected like never before, and technically we have reached never
Speaker 16: before seen levels of respect. So that's why this week
Speaker 16: I'm ranking America's respectiveness at stepmom, who insists we call
Speaker 16: her mom, but we're still gonna call her Joyce. Better
Speaker 16: luck next round, America.
Speaker 1: Thank you, Desie, let me come back, and not that Desie.
Speaker 1: You're nice to tell you driving on the shelves, we
Speaker 1: don't go light.
Speaker 4: Welcome back to the Day show my guests tonight, as
Speaker 4: an Emmy nominator writer and comedian, will be out on
Speaker 4: the road to a new stand up comedy tour.
Speaker 1: Please welcome. My good friend is nimes Ford.
Speaker 12: We welcome.
Speaker 1: Look at us two guys on TV.
Speaker 3: Everybody man, so.
Speaker 1: People know it's I.
Speaker 4: When I came to New York City as a civilian
Speaker 4: in twenty eleven, uh, and I was I wasn't living
Speaker 4: in America even I came over and I came to
Speaker 4: New York City for the first time, and I was
Speaker 4: trying to do stand up comedy New York City. And
Speaker 4: I went to open mic night and there was three
Speaker 4: people at this open mic night. One of them was
Speaker 4: like some white dude, some of some other dude forgettable.
Speaker 4: The third person was you, and you hosted the show
Speaker 4: and you gave me some stage time.
Speaker 1: And now here we are and here we are, yeah yeah,
Speaker 1: and you and.
Speaker 4: When we did the show, we did a show and
Speaker 4: you were super nice to me and you treat you
Speaker 4: didn't care that in an accent.
Speaker 1: You didn't treat me like some foreigner.
Speaker 4: And which is more than which is more than I
Speaker 4: can say for the last Indian guy who was on
Speaker 4: this show.
Speaker 1: So thanks, thanks for being a cool person.
Speaker 17: I'm here for his spots. I've been on the road
Speaker 17: for so long it's so good to be back in
Speaker 17: New York.
Speaker 3: I was. I was on the way here, and it's true.
Speaker 3: I was with my Indian fan.
Speaker 17: We're walking and this homeless guy goes look at these
Speaker 17: two computers, and I missed that kind of racism. It's
Speaker 17: just like, you don't want to control all the week homeless.
Speaker 1: What is he talking about?
Speaker 4: But even though homeless guys in New York know what's up,
Speaker 4: know enough to be specific with the racism.
Speaker 17: What were you when you when we met in twenty eleven,
Speaker 17: you were ex law school.
Speaker 1: I was still in law school.
Speaker 4: I was. I was studying for the by exam and
Speaker 4: you were n YU.
Speaker 3: I was fine.
Speaker 17: I had just graduated two years from graduating at n
Speaker 17: y U as a pre med finance.
Speaker 3: I was pre mad finance, pre mad finance. Why are
Speaker 3: you cheering that none of none of them worked out?
Speaker 1: Pre Med finance is like the most kick aside.
Speaker 3: I wanted.
Speaker 17: I wanted to be like this evil private equity managed doctor.
Speaker 3: I was I want.
Speaker 17: When I joined n y U, I was gung ho
Speaker 17: on being a cardiat pediatric cardiothoracic surgeon.
Speaker 1: Sorry, I love that.
Speaker 4: Pre med finance is like I can't decide whether I
Speaker 4: want to help people or kill.
Speaker 17: People, but it was definitely there was definitely some good intent.
Speaker 17: And then I saw all my finance friends like, oh, yeah,
Speaker 17: that seems fun.
Speaker 3: Being evil seems fun.
Speaker 1: Yeah, but I was.
Speaker 17: I was gung ho and being pediatric carty thoracic surgeon.
Speaker 17: And then I got a C plus in organic chemistry.
Speaker 17: I was like those kids, and I'm never I'll never forget.
Speaker 17: I'm sure you have a moment where like you called
Speaker 17: your parents like I'm not doing law school anymore.
Speaker 1: No, I never told you.
Speaker 3: You never told us.
Speaker 1: They still don't know.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I called my mom. I called my mom.
Speaker 17: It's a mom, I'm dropping pre med and she screamed,
Speaker 17: I've never heard a scream that loud since, like someone
Speaker 17: like she screamed us if someone told her I was dead.
Speaker 17: And she was like, what we pay for your school
Speaker 17: to repay us, You're gonna up running a liquor store
Speaker 17: just like your dad, and my dad's in the corner
Speaker 17: like I do. And then I support my family and
Speaker 17: I did. Then I did finance, and I graduated in
Speaker 17: wait with a finance degree, and that obviously did not
Speaker 17: work out.
Speaker 3: But the problem is like, I'm not.
Speaker 17: All my friends friends are finance millionaires, and I still
Speaker 17: think I could do finance, Like I still think I
Speaker 17: know math, you.
Speaker 4: Know alone everyone thinks apparently every in America thinks they
Speaker 4: can do find it.
Speaker 17: Yeah, and I've learned that I should just stick to jokes.
Speaker 17: As I was out to dinner with all my friends,
Speaker 17: Hedgmung guy, one of the good ones, and and he's
Speaker 17: telling me he was up, like he's managing ten billion
Speaker 17: dollars and he's up seventy percent on the year.
Speaker 3: I'm like, you're up seven hundred million dollars. He's like, no, man,
Speaker 3: that's that's seven billion dollars.
Speaker 17: Like, oh yeah, I'll stick to the jokes.
Speaker 1: Okay.
Speaker 4: Yeah, So what's what's going on with Indians and mega.
Speaker 3: As as the Indian representative?
Speaker 1: No, I mean that is something interesting.
Speaker 17: Yeah, look like that's Trump's dei Indian people, the dick
Speaker 17: eating Indians. Dude, there's so many there's so many Indians
Speaker 17: that love Donald Trump, like vive that Ramaswami. Yeah, some
Speaker 17: Indians and yeah, yeah another Harvy guy.
Speaker 3: It was your Harvard guy.
Speaker 1: I appreciates the Hova guy.
Speaker 3: I mean, what a what a herb that's if you
Speaker 3: don't know what a herb is.
Speaker 17: A herb is what we call people in the nineties
Speaker 17: when they're being herbs like he's he's a herb. He's
Speaker 17: he ran for president and lost. Obviously, he ran for
Speaker 17: president and his main thing was his opening line was
Speaker 17: God is real? Why do he make you five to seven?
Speaker 17: B deck, that's the guy. I don't know if he's
Speaker 17: five to seven, but he has five seven energy. And
Speaker 17: then I won't say his name again because if you
Speaker 17: say it more than three times, he just pops.
Speaker 1: Up under the desk. What's in the permative action, guys?
Speaker 17: And then there's mis who I'm praying for. I'm hoping
Speaker 17: she has Stockholm syndrome because otherwise why but really you
Speaker 17: have to and then and then of course, of course
Speaker 17: the King cash Betel. If you don't, I'm not saying
Speaker 17: it about cash Betel. I'm trying to not try to
Speaker 17: get one of these one way tickets.
Speaker 3: El Sala.
Speaker 1: Know, it's a say game if you know.
Speaker 17: If you don't know Cash Hotel, you guys don't seem
Speaker 17: that concerned. But every Indian knows Cash Hotel. But if
Speaker 17: you don't know him, he's he's the director of the FBI,
Speaker 17: and people don't seem worried about him. But his real
Speaker 17: name is Gush shap Promode the Node Patel. He grew
Speaker 17: up in racist ask Long Island with the name gush
Speaker 17: ship Promode the Node Patel. He is out for revenge.
Speaker 17: You should be very concerned.
Speaker 3: I'm not a man.
Speaker 17: I'm not a fan of the guy's politics. But if
Speaker 17: I get pulled over, that is my cousin. You don't
Speaker 17: see the resemblance of that's that's me, dude. All right, well,
Speaker 17: you're going on tour stand up tour soon, right, I
Speaker 17: am going on tour soon. It's either I mean I
Speaker 17: need money, Okay, I just I just had a kid,
Speaker 17: and she is she's the biggest tariff on my life.
Speaker 17: She's six months old, new baby. She's fanantastic, putting her
Speaker 17: hands to work right away. She's busy making a phone
Speaker 17: right now. Okay, but in America.
Speaker 3: But in America, of course.
Speaker 17: But like it's either that or commit white collar crime,
Speaker 17: Like I need to tour or commit white collar crime.
Speaker 17: Doesn't seem like a ripe time to commit white collar crime.
Speaker 17: This is the golden is This is like we should
Speaker 17: be embezzling. We should be ponding right now.
Speaker 1: We are.
Speaker 3: We are inside of trade.
Speaker 4: I need to instid of trading has become very open
Speaker 4: now you just basically all you need to do is
Speaker 4: join truth Social and you can get a few good.
Speaker 1: Tips on that platform.
Speaker 17: You can't commit an SEC violation if the SEC doesn't.
Speaker 3: Exist, you know what I mean. So let's steal.
Speaker 17: No, but it's I'm touring. I'm going to like that
Speaker 17: was a step two file.
Speaker 4: We don't mind no racism, but don't don't just disrespect
Speaker 4: the SEC.
Speaker 3: Yeah, robin hoods are safe. No, I'm going on to it.
Speaker 17: I'm going to like a bunch of I'm starting at
Speaker 17: a bunch of clubs because you know is you got
Speaker 17: to build a set at a bunch of clubs, talk
Speaker 17: a bunch of shit, crash out and then yeah, some
Speaker 17: some young people in the room. Good crashing out, sir,
Speaker 17: is when you say some ship that you shouldn't say,
Speaker 17: I'm gonna be I'm gonna doing that at a lot
Speaker 17: of I'm.
Speaker 3: Not gonna go full Kanye. I think this.
Speaker 4: Whole interview has been a definition. It's a dictionary.
Speaker 1: Term being news.
Speaker 4: Huh, crashing out, Hey, listen, man, Thank you so much,
Speaker 4: Thank you so much for being my.
Speaker 1: First friend in America.
Speaker 4: There's always been very cool to thank you, even though
Speaker 4: I came all the way from Australia at the time.
Speaker 1: You didn't cheat me like a foreigner.
Speaker 4: And I'm very happy to be your friend here.
Speaker 3: Thanks, thank you, thank you very much.
Speaker 4: Right than the message tours, then in club them theaters,
Speaker 4: right now to this website, finding.
Speaker 1: New mess dot com to take us.
Speaker 11: It's u us with everybody.
Speaker 1: Well, God, take a quick break.
Speaker 11: But right back after this, that's USh over tonight now.
Speaker 1: Here it is the moment of bed.
Speaker 13: You have had President Brian at Harvard do the same thing.
Speaker 13: I think right now. The universities need to find some courage.
Speaker 13: Our law firms need to find some courage. There are
Speaker 13: things that matter more than simply the size of one's endowment.
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