Speaker 1: We're just two unapologetically black women with an opinion who
Speaker 1: talks back. What's up, y'all is a j thank you
Speaker 1: for tuning in for a new episode that we talked back.
Speaker 1: I show dedicated to you niggas and these holes. Hey, y'all,
Speaker 1: it's official, tam bam. I don't know if I love
Speaker 1: y'all this week because y'all didn't see me a single
Speaker 1: cash at for my birthday, So I'm junking. I still
Speaker 1: love y'all. I know money tight. I know money tight
Speaker 1: right now? Shire a loaf of brad ten dollars. You've
Speaker 1: seen that. They a lot of brad about to be
Speaker 1: ten dollars. Girl. Look, I'm glad I've been off carves. Now.
Speaker 1: I did go out to eat over the weekend and
Speaker 1: ate for croissants, But then how you off carves if
Speaker 1: you had? I know, Look, I had been doing really
Speaker 1: good the whole last I want to say, maybe three
Speaker 1: weeks no carbs and just car fist on Saturday. But look,
Speaker 1: I'm gonna be honest with you, bitch. Okay, remember the
Speaker 1: last time he was a corn and you was eating
Speaker 1: a piece of chocolate cake. The next day, I went
Speaker 1: and got me a boy knows from uh from public
Speaker 1: and I literally was sitting on the goddamn kick out
Speaker 1: for I don't know, maybe ten minutes, the beating about
Speaker 1: buying the kick mix up brownie mix, like I really
Speaker 1: wanted that. Boy. You know, it's like these little uh
Speaker 1: it's like a little chocolate, little hazel nut orange that
Speaker 1: looked like paint on the side. Yes, I love them.
Speaker 1: They're so good. I put him in the freezer there
Speaker 1: from Italy, so I trust them. It ain't an American
Speaker 1: me little snack. I love him. Girl, you sound like baby.
Speaker 1: They's in Italy and they put the chocolate on it,
Speaker 1: and they gotta put it in the freezer. I love cold.
Speaker 1: I like cold chocolate. How is your birthday? Weekend? Tell
Speaker 1: us about it was so much fun, so I um
Speaker 1: food down the Atlanta. I was my best friend. It
Speaker 1: was her birthday on the sixth, So at the nine
Speaker 1: six six, UM we hung out. We went to just
Speaker 1: had dinner at St. K and then we went to
Speaker 1: UH couple of clubs, club hop, a couple of sections.
Speaker 1: You know, nothing too crazy, come all right, little something,
Speaker 1: a little something. The Sunday we went to um, what's
Speaker 1: the name of that place? Blue Martini for their Sunday brunch.
Speaker 1: Hung out there a couple of hours, and then that
Speaker 1: night I went to a couple of bars again influence. Um,
Speaker 1: I want to call the ship, but it ain't call that.
Speaker 1: It's Sheba Sheba live on the African spot. Yeah, Shiva
Speaker 1: in living room. So that was nice. We had a
Speaker 1: good time and I fell in love with that song.
Speaker 1: Uh I go chiyo. You know what I'm talking about,
Speaker 1: block up burner burner, block up burner boy, burner ball
Speaker 1: and it's got Tona Braxton, Right, Tony Braxton. He sampled
Speaker 1: Tony Braxton song, So I want to go look at
Speaker 1: that and he's paying her sixty and royalties for that song.
Speaker 1: Go ahead, Tony, get your back up. Yeah all right,
Speaker 1: I loved you. I had a good time. I'm tired now,
Speaker 1: and typically Monday morning I'll be hungover, but this Monday
Speaker 1: I wasn't because I had did so much over the weekend.
Speaker 1: Sunday night, I was kind of like, I can't know more.
Speaker 1: I realized I'm Auntie. Was sorry, y'all. Look I don't
Speaker 1: do much. I went bike riding. Let me tell you
Speaker 1: all about me. I'm gonna be honest women, and I
Speaker 1: know maybe there might be a lot of women that
Speaker 1: feel like me. I don't want to do ship when
Speaker 1: my psycho come on, Okay, I really don't want to
Speaker 1: do anything. I literally hardly leave the house and I
Speaker 1: knew and then be swell up like I just didn't.
Speaker 1: Sorry my friend, I missed your birthday festivity. Yeah, I
Speaker 1: was feeling away that he was not there. Other bitches
Speaker 1: with you. How many was it? It was like ten,
Speaker 1: that's a lot. I should have been twelve. I'm sorry,
Speaker 1: my friend. I love you, dude. Like next year, don't
Speaker 1: don't be missing next year because we're gonna be on
Speaker 1: the show. I'm gonna start it off like yeah, it's
Speaker 1: tam bam, and I ain't fucking with this bitch right
Speaker 1: here today I got one strike. Yes you usually come. Yeah,
Speaker 1: can I get a little like a little great in
Speaker 1: the past this year, getting one grace past this year?
Speaker 1: That's it. That's see. Look what we got going on
Speaker 1: in stupid internet news this week, Lin, A lot of
Speaker 1: scupid ship happened. So apparently there's this place called sessing
Speaker 1: Me Street, place for children where black kids are being
Speaker 1: discriminated against. Uh there is a video. Well it started
Speaker 1: with one video where these two little black girls were
Speaker 1: desperately holding their arms out to hug the muppet Rosita,
Speaker 1: and Rosita basically says no period after she has just
Speaker 1: hugged some white children. And the look on those kids faces,
Speaker 1: they looked just like very sad, you know, discouraged because
Speaker 1: this muppet would not show them any love. And apparently
Speaker 1: it's been going on where all these fucking muppets, all
Speaker 1: these videos are circulating of little black kids being denied
Speaker 1: the love that they want from their beloved muppets from
Speaker 1: Sesame Street because it's some probably some racist crackers inside
Speaker 1: Rosita's body. So I got I saw the video, I
Speaker 1: saw then initial video, and I guess the mama probably
Speaker 1: put it out there and make sure she wasn't tripping. Girl,
Speaker 1: you are not tripping. And exactly because apparently there's been
Speaker 1: don't know to three other videos that have come out
Speaker 1: of them blatantly you know, not wanting to touch black kids.
Speaker 1: And how much of a bitch ass muffett do you
Speaker 1: have to be to try to get off on some
Speaker 1: little kids. You know what I'm saying, that's what they're doing. Like,
Speaker 1: could you imagine I would have just really upset all
Speaker 1: the children at the park because I would have been
Speaker 1: beaten Rosie the ass, Rosie the little head when we're
Speaker 1: flying across, Mommy is dead because her Muppet head is
Speaker 1: on the ground. When I tell you, I would have
Speaker 1: ruined the whole parade, like everybody for all the kids.
Speaker 1: Oh if my kids said everybody? Kids said now because Rose,
Speaker 1: look at Rosie the Head rolling on the ground. But
Speaker 1: it would have been easy, though, because while she was watching,
Speaker 1: you know, marching on by. I would have just stuck
Speaker 1: my foot out Rosa. But why though, Like, can you
Speaker 1: imagine the like? Because they can't. They can't do nothing
Speaker 1: to an adults. So they're getting off on kids. Kids.
Speaker 1: You're sitting in your little Muppet break room and you're saying, yeah,
Speaker 1: I I hurt the feelings of seven black kids today.
Speaker 1: I'm so dope. Stuff like that. Yeah, and stuff like
Speaker 1: that to me translates to the classrooms, because who is
Speaker 1: your kids teacher? Your kids teacher could be doing the
Speaker 1: same thing. We've seen videos in the past where you've
Speaker 1: got a little black kid off eating by themselves and
Speaker 1: they got the whole table of white kids. You know,
Speaker 1: why is my child by by himself over here that
Speaker 1: that ship is Listen. I don't care when nobody say.
Speaker 1: I feel like the kol Klux Klan may just be
Speaker 1: like the biggest secret society in the world. You know
Speaker 1: what I'm saying. It just goes to show that there's
Speaker 1: racist in hate in every profession, even some places innocent
Speaker 1: as Sesame Street placed. It's always gonna be somebody who
Speaker 1: hates on the basis of skin color. I wonder if
Speaker 1: there was different people and each cost to him, or
Speaker 1: it was it just one person that they can identify, right,
Speaker 1: Like does one person wear the same class tum or
Speaker 1: do they come in as different muppets all the time
Speaker 1: exactly because I would like to know. And now you
Speaker 1: get to hide behind a mask. Looks like a hood
Speaker 1: to me, you see what I'm saying. While I mentioned
Speaker 1: like the schools and they're all in the day and
Speaker 1: police departments, like this ship runs really doctor's office. But
Speaker 1: don't be getting off on the low kids, I don't
Speaker 1: like that. I do not like that. Yeah, but we please.
Speaker 1: I hope someone figures out how to share who was
Speaker 1: Rosita that day, because at least we control their Instagram
Speaker 1: and whatever they anything that got let's just suck it up, right,
Speaker 1: because they could very well keep their job because the
Speaker 1: company is okay with that behavior. But we will never know.
Speaker 1: We'll never know who it is because they just don't
Speaker 1: take care. Don't take your black children to because they're
Speaker 1: not loved there. Nope, not at all. So what's up
Speaker 1: with um? I've read this article online y'all because I
Speaker 1: saw it initially on uh days Instagram page. So I
Speaker 1: went because you know, listen, I'm a gym and night
Speaker 1: I need all information before I passed judgment. So I
Speaker 1: saw this article and it says from Kim to Hot
Speaker 1: Cheetah girls, white people are retiring from blackness. Did you
Speaker 1: read that article? I sent it to you. I might
Speaker 1: have skimmed over it. So on this article they have
Speaker 1: videos from different little white girls from TikTok, you know,
Speaker 1: showing there before and after photos there before when they
Speaker 1: used to wear big hoop airings, braids, do rags, basically
Speaker 1: when they had the black girl aesthetic to now and
Speaker 1: how their life is so much better now after they stopped,
Speaker 1: you know, acting like a black girl. And then now
Speaker 1: we see Kim K with the blonde here, Chloe has
Speaker 1: blonde here, very tan anymore exactly. M hmm. So now
Speaker 1: it's no longer a popular to be black, apparently. I
Speaker 1: don't know if I'm still enjoying it. I don't know.
Speaker 1: I can't speak for anybody else it very much. They
Speaker 1: say they went blond and lost their bb els. I
Speaker 1: don't know. I haven't been looking at Kim's ass, you know. Um.
Speaker 1: You know, Chloe has always been looking like something something.
Speaker 1: It's given much something to me. I don't know exactly
Speaker 1: what she looks like, but the chicken thing in hands,
Speaker 1: you know what I think. In California, though, it's a
Speaker 1: thing to look ambiguous, like you can't. They don't want
Speaker 1: to look like any color for sure. Like she could
Speaker 1: be white, she could be black, she could be Hispanic,
Speaker 1: she could be nobody knows what she is, you know.
Speaker 1: I think that's a very much a thing in California.
Speaker 1: I don't know. But the TikTok trend is the ghetto
Speaker 1: hot cheeto girls. That's what they call them black women.
Speaker 1: That's what they're calling young black girls. That's like the look.
Speaker 1: It's the ghetto che because they cheat, and black women
Speaker 1: love black girls like hot cheetos. Like, so it's like
Speaker 1: a ghetto thing basically, So when they were looking that
Speaker 1: way with a black boyfriend and all that stuff, they
Speaker 1: were going through like the phase, and now they're like
Speaker 1: and I thought it was because their spray tape and
Speaker 1: be making them look orange. Look that part that too
Speaker 1: would be. I don't know, but yeah, it's it's just
Speaker 1: weird to me. And I want to have a whole
Speaker 1: show about this because I want to go into real
Speaker 1: butts versus the bbls, like people who have real asks
Speaker 1: and have to deal with, you know, asks in real
Speaker 1: life their whole life, like me, Yeah, exactly, I want
Speaker 1: to I want to talk about that. That's me too, bitch.
Speaker 1: I gotta asked the loot me, but I want to talk.
Speaker 1: I want to have a whole episode about that because
Speaker 1: you know, that wasn't the beauty standard at one point,
Speaker 1: and what it seems now it's like y'all trying to
Speaker 1: take it back to another standard. Well, we know that
Speaker 1: black women have been in offices in school and it's
Speaker 1: always deemed inappropriate for us to wear certain things because
Speaker 1: of how our body shape. I went through that my
Speaker 1: entire life. I can't help it, you know what I'm saying.
Speaker 1: But it's sort of what we couldn't wear leggings in
Speaker 1: high school, but the white girls could. I'm saying, yeah,
Speaker 1: so like it would have to like you had to
Speaker 1: be a certain inch from your knee for you to
Speaker 1: wear it, and like I would feel like in school,
Speaker 1: like white girls could wear short shorts in me and
Speaker 1: not get in trouble. But if I did, I would
Speaker 1: get in trouble. And then who's that's not your fault.
Speaker 1: It's the grown men not looking at you that got
Speaker 1: a problem with it, or it's the women that's reporting
Speaker 1: it because the grown men, teachers, principal, whoever looking at you. Yeah,
Speaker 1: that that is not a child's problem. Right, But for
Speaker 1: whatever reason, black people can't just exist. We can't exist
Speaker 1: in a way that everybody else exists without being seen,
Speaker 1: you know, in a sexual way. You know, black women,
Speaker 1: we just can't. So we're not seen as little girls.
Speaker 1: We're always seen as adults. Are Black boys get seen
Speaker 1: as adult men and it can literally be twelve year
Speaker 1: old babies. Bas So, yeah, they're a band and in blackness, apparently,
Speaker 1: I don't know, I've always made go head on with
Speaker 1: your ass. I don't give listen exactly, gonna be just fine.
Speaker 1: I've always made the joke that the Kardashians made it
Speaker 1: okay for a little white girls, so like black boys.
Speaker 1: I really feel like they helped push that agenda, right,
Speaker 1: so maybe okay to like white men so we can
Speaker 1: have our You only want that swag, girl, They always
Speaker 1: everybody want that swag. Wait, speaking of the goddamn Kardashians,
Speaker 1: Tristan boy, your boy, he just kneed. I'm just I
Speaker 1: was proud of trusting, just for living in his truth.
Speaker 1: At least be the whole that you always meant to be,
Speaker 1: like you know you've been holding to stop doing it discreetly,
Speaker 1: just be outside. Yes, man, listen, I don't know. I
Speaker 1: do not feel bad for Chloe because you get them,
Speaker 1: you keep them how you get them in. That's the
Speaker 1: saying that man had a pregnant girlfriend at the time
Speaker 1: when you quired him, right, Okay, so now they just
Speaker 1: they have a baby on the way, They have a
Speaker 1: boil in a way via surrogant. And this dude was
Speaker 1: just out the country with another chick, just holding hands, chilling.
Speaker 1: I mean, she looked like Chloe from the back. I
Speaker 1: don't know, you gotta type or it could have been
Speaker 1: damn Kim Kake like, this is the same look and
Speaker 1: the way that Kim kardashi In is shading her sister
Speaker 1: is were to me, have a conversation with Chloe. Let
Speaker 1: her know that you do not want to be in
Speaker 1: a committed relationship. This is the problem with some men,
Speaker 1: like you can't sign women up for monogamy and no
Speaker 1: that's not what you want. You can find somebody that
Speaker 1: would be okay with whatever it is that you want
Speaker 1: in a relationship. Do not trick people into monogamy. But girl,
Speaker 1: she didn't get tricked because yeah, that man had a
Speaker 1: woman when you got him, So Kim said, Girls can
Speaker 1: see the difference between two hundred shades of new lipstick,
Speaker 1: but they can't see red flags. You're talking to your sister.
Speaker 1: She she's always shading Chloe. She is. I don't like that.
Speaker 1: Don't do that to me. I would never do my
Speaker 1: sister like that. I guess it's almost like, girl, you're
Speaker 1: still being stupid, that's it. But but because y'all are
Speaker 1: so public figures, don't embarrass your own sister like that.
Speaker 1: She already embarrassed enough. I'm sure she is. You know,
Speaker 1: do some crazy things and you love motherfucker. You'd be
Speaker 1: putting up with ship that she wouldn't normally put up with,
Speaker 1: So I do I you know, I sympathize with Chloe
Speaker 1: a little bit in that aspect, but having your sister
Speaker 1: being the one who helping to embarrass you on the internet,
Speaker 1: I had to. I had to beat up Kim. I
Speaker 1: had to go over and set her come outside him.
Speaker 1: I want to talk to you real quick. I ain't
Speaker 1: gonna do nothing. Do you think it's a situation where you, like,
Speaker 1: maybe maybe Kim tried to because I can almost imagine
Speaker 1: if I'm trying to tell you something about your dude
Speaker 1: over and over and over again, and we know how
Speaker 1: defensive women can be about their men. Okay, could it
Speaker 1: be a situation where Chloe might have disrespected him? And now, Kim,
Speaker 1: don't give a fuck. You don't disrespect me about this
Speaker 1: dude who ain't never did you right at all? I
Speaker 1: told your ass not to have another baby with him,
Speaker 1: this and the third like and maybe not publicly, it's
Speaker 1: the public aspect for me, yeah, because I'm already embarrassed
Speaker 1: and now you're out here talking about two hundred shades
Speaker 1: and new lipstick. Girl, I'll be to a at my house.
Speaker 1: Shame because I'm gonna love you and we still assisted,
Speaker 1: but we're gonna have to You're gonna have to catch
Speaker 1: the faith though. Yeah, you're gonna catch these hands. So
Speaker 1: y'all just then, f I I I showed today is
Speaker 1: going to be about toxic relationships. We actually have a
Speaker 1: toxic relationship therapist on He helps people break up within
Speaker 1: thirty days. That's his job, all right, um, But there's
Speaker 1: a video online it's this guy, so he is. His
Speaker 1: name is Emory Andre Tate the Third. He's a four
Speaker 1: time kickboxing world champion. I don't know if he saw it, Tam,
Speaker 1: but it looks like he was doing like a podcast
Speaker 1: or something. But he was asked, um, you know if
Speaker 1: his girl um is allowed to go on girl's trips,
Speaker 1: and he was like, absolutely not, because you know what,
Speaker 1: I can't do anything if I'm not there. If a
Speaker 1: man tries to sleep with you, your wore making gold,
Speaker 1: she not go to the gas station, then she can't
Speaker 1: go to the there's gonna be man trying to funk
Speaker 1: all over her. D M S right now. It is
Speaker 1: a man trying to suck her, like you gotta just
Speaker 1: exactly all nine like that. He sounds like an in sale.
Speaker 1: First you're at home on Instagram, it's a nigga still
Speaker 1: trying to suck her like relax, like you just gotta
Speaker 1: trust your girl. Like but I looked on his Instagram page.
Speaker 1: If you go to the picture of him in the
Speaker 1: orange shorts, you know, I can you know while you
Speaker 1: staying home? That's what I means. No, I could. I
Speaker 1: understand why he might be intimidated by her going outside
Speaker 1: and getting fun by other people. Hold on orange shorts.
Speaker 1: Wait wait, wait, oh, there's nothing there there, There's nothing there,
Speaker 1: So I get it. Bro home. Look, my worst fair
Speaker 1: is having a son who you don't have to be
Speaker 1: like super well endowed, but like just having a son
Speaker 1: who may grow up with a super I feel like
Speaker 1: those guys have like insecurity issues and this guy is
Speaker 1: definitely displaying that. And I don't want to have to
Speaker 1: cleve with a son with insecurity issues because he played
Speaker 1: football and he see everybody else junk now and now
Speaker 1: he realizes his dick little. I don't want to deal
Speaker 1: with it. But he's well, he looks like a wealthy man,
Speaker 1: you know, he looks like he's well off. He gotta
Speaker 1: be Yeah, okay, he gotta be rich. Now, some women
Speaker 1: might like, you know a little things. We don't know
Speaker 1: that man got a little bit based on that picture.
Speaker 1: I don't want to just assume that I didn't see anything.
Speaker 1: He gotta COUCHI I'm assuming he got a that's that nice.
Speaker 1: You got gonna say that man gotta couch you. That's
Speaker 1: a grown man. Girl. You can't tell me he punching
Speaker 1: nobody in the face. This guy, he does, his energy
Speaker 1: does give um. I'm gonna beat I'm gonna beat you up.
Speaker 1: So I'm gonna because I want him to come see
Speaker 1: about me. He's gonna get this motherfucker gonna get robbed
Speaker 1: he comes see about me. That's that man. That's all.
Speaker 1: I got a lot of the break going on. There's
Speaker 1: a lot of ship going on. But that's it. Let's
Speaker 1: gonna break and we'll be right back with our expert
Speaker 1: you guys on how to leave your toxic situation. All right,
Speaker 1: we'll be right back. Listen, we gotta special guests on
Speaker 1: we talked back this week. Okay, yeah, this is my
Speaker 1: clubhouse friend, but he's also a toxic relationship. Uh specialist, Right,
Speaker 1: So are you a relationship specialist. Who who's toxic or
Speaker 1: you are you work with toxic relationships? Because I work
Speaker 1: with toxic relationship but I've been called the toxic bay.
Speaker 1: Toxic yeah, toxic bay. I don't know what that means,
Speaker 1: but that's what some of my friends call me, women friends.
Speaker 1: Sounds like exactly every nigger I ever dated was toxic bag.
Speaker 1: So y'all listen. So Taylor, he's a former military police
Speaker 1: veteran and US federal agent that has a decade worth
Speaker 1: of responding to nine one one calls for domestic violence disputes. Okay,
Speaker 1: Taylor has been uh taking his past experience and it's
Speaker 1: now a world renowned relationship expert experts. Excuse me, y'all
Speaker 1: know I can't read anyway. Helping men and women exit
Speaker 1: toxic relationships, you know, and helping them find self love again,
Speaker 1: because that's what it's all about, right when someone's mistreating
Speaker 1: it's kind of an internal issue, that's dope. Listen, I
Speaker 1: need some help now. I'm trying to stop being toxic
Speaker 1: in relationships. Hey, let's do it. Let's do if you
Speaker 1: get you help right now. So I got my first question.
Speaker 1: If I'm dealing with a nigger who gives me a
Speaker 1: lot of money, but he's for the streets. Should I
Speaker 1: leave or should I stay? It depends on what you're
Speaker 1: looking for, like like what like what is your ultimate goal?
Speaker 1: Like like like like why are you attracted to this
Speaker 1: due that's from the streets, Like what what does he
Speaker 1: do to turn you on? Ah? He makes sure I'm
Speaker 1: comfortable finance. Okay, So he's a provider. So so pretty much,
Speaker 1: whether he's from the streets or not, provider is check
Speaker 1: for you. Yeah, that's very important. That's not the most
Speaker 1: important thing. I mean, it's it's very important, though, But
Speaker 1: I would rather have somebody who was a provider that
Speaker 1: wasn't for the streets. Okay, he's not, he's not my man,
Speaker 1: you know what I'm saying. He everybody man so for
Speaker 1: the streets, not in the streets, right yeah, okay, So, um,
Speaker 1: but like I said, you can find guys that's out
Speaker 1: there that are providers. Um, that's about their money, that's
Speaker 1: about their money, and that would also be able to
Speaker 1: to provide those things to you. Where they at there there,
Speaker 1: they're there, they're there. Um, they're probably not in the clubs,
Speaker 1: they're probably not on the corner. But you can find them,
Speaker 1: like at networking events, right, CEO events, Right, those guys
Speaker 1: that they're looking for a woman, they're looking for a
Speaker 1: woman that can provide at the house, that can you know,
Speaker 1: take care of kids, right, all that all that fantasy
Speaker 1: stuff that y'all want, right, And these guys don't have
Speaker 1: the time and the ability to do that, right, And
Speaker 1: so they're looking for that woman that they can take
Speaker 1: care of, right, and that could be a mother of
Speaker 1: your child or or what have you. So there's guys
Speaker 1: out there. You just gotta position yourself and be in
Speaker 1: the right place to find those individuals. See see see
Speaker 1: see a lot of the guys from the streets. I
Speaker 1: mean not he's not from the streets, he's right, But
Speaker 1: we're definitely out where did those individuals hang out. So
Speaker 1: I feel like I'm in the places where the same
Speaker 1: guys you would meet, and you know, like a networking event,
Speaker 1: it's the same guys the rids. I'm hanging out these
Speaker 1: fancy places, I'm not. I mean I got to the
Speaker 1: hood clubs too, every now, don't get it twisted. But
Speaker 1: I definitely in those environments that you speak of. Go ahead,
Speaker 1: and I think I meet decent men sometimes, but there's
Speaker 1: there's usually something missing and and what and what is
Speaker 1: that usual thing that's that that you're not able to
Speaker 1: find um consistency And so there's a tradeoff oftentimes for
Speaker 1: the provisions. But what do you mean trade off? Like
Speaker 1: if he's providing, if he's providing, what are you what
Speaker 1: is he not then providing? If he's providing financially, then
Speaker 1: what is he not providing? Well, he doesn't want commitment,
Speaker 1: that's the thing. That's like everything else is good. He
Speaker 1: just doesn't want to come. He doesn't ever want to
Speaker 1: be committed to anyone, well as far as the future whole,
Speaker 1: cause he doesn't want commitment with anyone. He enjoys being
Speaker 1: a single, successful man who can do whatever he wants.
Speaker 1: And there's right, and and you're okay with that or
Speaker 1: you're looking you're looking for commitment, right, Yeah, I mean
Speaker 1: you're looking for because uncertainty, it's not it's not good, right,
Speaker 1: we don't like the uncertainty. Right, one day you're here,
Speaker 1: the next day you might be gone. But I think
Speaker 1: that you can find that. I think that you can
Speaker 1: find that. But it might not be in him, right, Oh,
Speaker 1: it's definitely not. We already know. We already know that.
Speaker 1: So this is why, this is why she's considering this
Speaker 1: a toxic relationship. We jumped right into therapy. Bitch, wait
Speaker 1: for your answer. But but but but but but that's
Speaker 1: not toxic. That's not toxic. Just because he don't want
Speaker 1: to commit, that doesn't mean that the person is toxic, right,
Speaker 1: I think that. I think that he just don't want
Speaker 1: to commit. He loves He's not the toxic one. It's
Speaker 1: me because I'm in a relationship that I know does
Speaker 1: not fulfill the things that I desire except for one thing,
Speaker 1: you know, And that's why I'm staying, you know, And
Speaker 1: it's the money. Yeah, yeah, Yeah, I don't think that.
Speaker 1: I don't. I'm gonna be I'm gonna be honest, and
Speaker 1: it might shock, it might shock a lot of people.
Speaker 1: That's that's listening. I don't think that's toxic. And gonna
Speaker 1: be honest with you. If you're if you're there for
Speaker 1: the money, if you're there for the money, because this
Speaker 1: person can provide. It's just like no different than somebody's
Speaker 1: a listening here, and I know that I'll never get
Speaker 1: with them. They're never gonna fulfill the rest of my
Speaker 1: my dreams, But I love being in their presence. No,
Speaker 1: you're you are. You were hanging out with this individual
Speaker 1: knowing that you're not getting anything in return as far
Speaker 1: as commitment or long term relationship. But he's providing for
Speaker 1: you financially, and he's willing and doing that. You're not
Speaker 1: holding a gun to his head. He's openly willing doing it.
Speaker 1: I don't think there's anything wrong with that. There's no
Speaker 1: one misleading, no one. Now, Now, if you if you're
Speaker 1: in that situation and you were trying to make it
Speaker 1: something else, then it could get it can get a
Speaker 1: little toxic. But if you understand what it is and
Speaker 1: he understand what it is, I think you guys have
Speaker 1: a great arrangement. Partner. Yeah, but I want Yeah, I
Speaker 1: mean it's working, it's it's working. So let's let's go
Speaker 1: into what are some signs of a toxic relationship, like
Speaker 1: a real toxic relationship. What does that look like for
Speaker 1: some people? Oh my goodness, Well, I'm gonna give I'm
Speaker 1: gonna give one of the one of the obvious signs.
Speaker 1: And this is the this is the sign that encompassed
Speaker 1: all the other signs. Right, it's when you're walking on eggshell,
Speaker 1: it might see basically, remember I remember a young lady
Speaker 1: told me that is so basic. Look like look look, look, look,
Speaker 1: look walking on eggshell. If I was to rip, if
Speaker 1: I was to peel that onion, you know what? You
Speaker 1: know what? Being scared around an individual, you don't know
Speaker 1: what to say. You don't know if the person is
Speaker 1: gonna snap, You don't if the person is gonna hit
Speaker 1: you. You You don't know what kind of moved that person in.
Speaker 1: That is not fun, right, And it's like it's like
Speaker 1: land mines. I always because I'm former military, it's like
Speaker 1: walking around land mines. You don't want to piss the
Speaker 1: person off. You don't want to slam the cabinet door.
Speaker 1: If you don't want to slam the door because the
Speaker 1: person might be quick to anger. Right. And so when
Speaker 1: you feel nervous around an individual, whether at your job,
Speaker 1: whether it's your significant other, you're in a toxic situation
Speaker 1: because no one should be no one should make make
Speaker 1: you feel nervous. That's number one, right, And you have
Speaker 1: to really really find out the reason why am I nervous? Now,
Speaker 1: if it's butterflies because you like the individual, that's a
Speaker 1: different kind of toxicity. Right chemistry, but exactly. But if
Speaker 1: they're making your heart beat and you're you're you're always
Speaker 1: you know, your anxiety percent, your prompting, sweating, you're shaking,
Speaker 1: that is that that that is horrible. And so that's
Speaker 1: the major, the major obvious sign. Now there's other signs,
Speaker 1: right financial you know, you hear you hear on on
Speaker 1: on other platforms me and a j uh is on
Speaker 1: that that you know, I I want a man that's
Speaker 1: a provider, which tam you said that too, right, But
Speaker 1: a lot of times those providers have the other person
Speaker 1: so trapped in the palm of their hands that if
Speaker 1: you even try to leave them, you can't because they're
Speaker 1: controlling your credit card, They're controlling all the finances, the
Speaker 1: check book, everything that comes in financially. They are the
Speaker 1: gatekeeper to that because you are so used toul and
Speaker 1: it said, sometimes it's a deception. You're so used to
Speaker 1: going to daddy to get some money, right, and you
Speaker 1: go and brag to your girls. Currently brought me, I
Speaker 1: believe the time person taking some stilettos, some red bottoms. Know,
Speaker 1: it feels good to be taken care of, it feels amazing,
Speaker 1: But once you try to leave that situation because maybe
Speaker 1: some abusiveness or mental abuse starts happening and he starts
Speaker 1: shutting those things down where maybe he's paying your rent, girl,
Speaker 1: he paying my rent when he stopped paying your rent,
Speaker 1: now when he's right. So these are the things that
Speaker 1: we need to really look for. But that's just like
Speaker 1: I said, few signs of being at a toxic relationship.
Speaker 1: I used to date a guy just like that when
Speaker 1: I was living in Atlanta back in uh two thousand
Speaker 1: seven or eight. I was in cosmetology school, and I
Speaker 1: would have to lie to him, like if I asked
Speaker 1: him for money to like pay tuition or for something
Speaker 1: to better myself, he wouldn't give it to me. I
Speaker 1: would have to ask for like bullshit and use it
Speaker 1: to pay my tuition because if it was money to
Speaker 1: do anything that would make me independent of him, he
Speaker 1: would not give it to me. That ship was crazy.
Speaker 1: And you say, yeah, I mean people do that all
Speaker 1: the time. But like I said, a lot of times,
Speaker 1: it's because the way how the world is going. And
Speaker 1: and I'm and I'm gonna say this. What was popular
Speaker 1: before the pandemic was I'm getting my bad girl, I'm
Speaker 1: getting my bag, I'm getting my bag. I'm getting the bag. Okay,
Speaker 1: pandemic happen. Business went under, and it's now I'm looking
Speaker 1: for a man that provides, right so, so, so we
Speaker 1: have the good guys that provides, and then we have
Speaker 1: the bad guys that provides, like narcissists, right and so
Speaker 1: and so they reel you in. Girl, I'm gonna take here.
Speaker 1: You don't have to work, you don't have to do nothing.
Speaker 1: I don't want a beautiful woman like you lifting a finger.
Speaker 1: And they take you in and they whine and dine,
Speaker 1: and not only that, you're around your girlfriends, and your
Speaker 1: girlfriend's fall in love because they're charismatic, and the way
Speaker 1: how they talk is so sexy, right, and so they
Speaker 1: have and so they have so they have a way
Speaker 1: of drawing people in. So here's the deal. When you
Speaker 1: try to leave and you tell your girlfriends all the
Speaker 1: horrible things this man has done to you, they can't
Speaker 1: believe it because what they've been presented, it's not who
Speaker 1: that person really is behind post worth. What if your
Speaker 1: girlfriend your mama. That happens. Sometimes parents take the other
Speaker 1: person's side and not your all kids side. Right, you know,
Speaker 1: you just always trying to ruin things. Girl. You know, like, no,
Speaker 1: a man gonna be a man that I hate. That's saying, right,
Speaker 1: A man gonna be a man, you know, a happy
Speaker 1: a happy wife, a happy life. No, I am going
Speaker 1: through hell in this relationship. And I need some help.
Speaker 1: I need some assistance. This person is mentally tearing me
Speaker 1: down every single day saying that I'm stupid, I'm dumb,
Speaker 1: I'm ugly, I'm fat. It happens everyday. So do you
Speaker 1: think people could be like addicted to toxic relationships? Because
Speaker 1: why does it always seem like it's so hard to leave.
Speaker 1: It's like almost like some dope. Oh I believe that.
Speaker 1: I believe because it's emotions. It's emotions, And believe it
Speaker 1: or not, some people love pain. I can pay anybody
Speaker 1: more than some. They love pain, whether it's physical pain. Right,
Speaker 1: That's why they have that bondage and the whips and
Speaker 1: all that stuff. No shame, but do those b DSM
Speaker 1: those kind of pain? And then you have people that
Speaker 1: love emotional pain. Now, I'm going to bring it close
Speaker 1: to the home. When you're all were smaller, have you
Speaker 1: listened to songs that made you cry? Yes? And you
Speaker 1: know I always say that I'm not gonna let my
Speaker 1: daughter listen to like Mary J. Blige, like bitch you
Speaker 1: listening to No R and B. Because you internalize that stuff.
Speaker 1: And you have seen those videos of those little girls
Speaker 1: on Instagram and the car with day Mama, like all
Speaker 1: emotion and the song singing it like why why do
Speaker 1: you have those emotions? And you are a little girl.
Speaker 1: So I feel like we internalize those things from little girls,
Speaker 1: you know, like the herd and if he if he
Speaker 1: likes you, that if he's hitting you at school, maybe
Speaker 1: he likes you. So all these different little things. That
Speaker 1: was the thing when you were a little girl, like
Speaker 1: he just hitting you because he likes it. He's just
Speaker 1: being mean to you because he likes exactly. And so
Speaker 1: now we're like that. Ever, arrogant men who are oftentimes mean,
Speaker 1: they may not be physically hitting you, but they mentally
Speaker 1: they might abuse you no one. And I think that,
Speaker 1: and I think that's why a lot of parents don't
Speaker 1: hit their kids because a lot of times you're here
Speaker 1: the reason why I'm doing this because I love you
Speaker 1: and I don't want you to go down the wrong well.
Speaker 1: So if you hit a child and tell the child
Speaker 1: you're hitting them because you love them. Imagine when that
Speaker 1: child reach an adult age and they get hit, it's
Speaker 1: because remember things that we have grown up with stays
Speaker 1: with us. You know, one thing that I can say,
Speaker 1: I was the ever go to any person's home right
Speaker 1: and the trash is almost at the rim. I'm I'm agitated,
Speaker 1: I'm pacing. It does something to me and I'm hearing
Speaker 1: my mom's voice because you usually yell at me telling
Speaker 1: me to take the trash out, take that trash. I'll
Speaker 1: take that trash, and that stuff have stuck with me today.
Speaker 1: I cannot see a half full trash can tailor made
Speaker 1: is taking your trash? Yea, yeah, y'all. Nigga said that
Speaker 1: because they'll walk right past your trash can like I
Speaker 1: just cooked. Figure, can you take the trash out right?
Speaker 1: And you you take mine out right? Now? You need
Speaker 1: to go out right. So these are the things that
Speaker 1: we got to be careful of what we are instill
Speaker 1: in our children, because they grow up to it and
Speaker 1: it's traumatic for them, and we might think it's not.
Speaker 1: You know, even if they're not being I think even
Speaker 1: as an adult, even if you're not being hit, you
Speaker 1: might feel that there's a problem with that, like you know,
Speaker 1: we we we've heard that before. If he if he
Speaker 1: doesn't at you, he don't love you, or and and
Speaker 1: one other thing that I want to I want to
Speaker 1: add to that too, um, is that even when it
Speaker 1: comes to let's talk about it like like like the police,
Speaker 1: we sometimes as as um you know, the black culture,
Speaker 1: we use the police to scare our kids. If you
Speaker 1: act up, I'm gonna get him. I'm gonna get him,
Speaker 1: locked you up. I'm gonna get him, lock you up
Speaker 1: now now, So so that kid is that that that
Speaker 1: that that scene is embedded, I'm gonna get him to
Speaker 1: lock you up. I'm getting locked him up. Be afraid,
Speaker 1: be afraid, be afraid. What happens when your teenage son
Speaker 1: is driving your car and get pulled over by the police.
Speaker 1: He might not shot, he gonna run. You've don't terrorize
Speaker 1: this kid saying that you're gonna threaten to lock him
Speaker 1: up with the police. Right, but the police have also
Speaker 1: done a good job in this country. You're scaring our
Speaker 1: children to hundred no one, And I'm I would never
Speaker 1: discount that. You're absolutely right, Um, yes, you're correct. They have. UM.
Speaker 1: I just think that the teaching should be different. But
Speaker 1: you know, the scarcity shouldn't be uh to like a
Speaker 1: five year old that I'm gonna call the police to
Speaker 1: lock you up, right, um. And I think when you
Speaker 1: when that child gets older, the conversation needs to have
Speaker 1: and I'm gonna bring it back to a toxic relationship.
Speaker 1: I think a lot of times we don't have these conversations, right,
Speaker 1: you know, we get we get kind of sidetracked because
Speaker 1: of the looks. You know, oh man, she fine, you
Speaker 1: know that girl boy or or the guy is fine,
Speaker 1: or what have you? Or or he got a good job,
Speaker 1: he got all these things, and the conversation kind of
Speaker 1: it doesn't happen, right, It's like a lot of texting,
Speaker 1: you know what I'm saying, Like, you know, I don't
Speaker 1: I don't talk that much now here. Here's one toxic
Speaker 1: situation if you meet a guy as a woman that
Speaker 1: don't talk that much. That's why, Okay, when y'all have
Speaker 1: a disagreement, you think he's gonna now start talking or
Speaker 1: he's gonna be quiet, right, right, So you have to
Speaker 1: understand what you want. What you want. Do you want
Speaker 1: a person that communicates? You cannot date somebody that doesn't talk.
Speaker 1: I'm scared of people who are don't talk really because
Speaker 1: I mean, I don't like a man that's like a
Speaker 1: super chatty patty. But I'm scared when you don't talk
Speaker 1: because I feel like people who don't talk, they're just
Speaker 1: looking around observing stuff to have a problem with. And
Speaker 1: I've experienced that in my real life in a real relationship,
Speaker 1: Like he didn't talk much. He would just observe people
Speaker 1: and then say something to me about them later on.
Speaker 1: You know, no, And I think you're right. I think
Speaker 1: it could be missed. Because I had talked to somebody
Speaker 1: that that that didn't talk. I didn't know what she
Speaker 1: was thinking at any given time. I mean, she literally
Speaker 1: drove me crazy because I always had to guess, and
Speaker 1: she kept on telling me, Hey, you can ask me
Speaker 1: if you if you're unsure, ask me what your demeanor
Speaker 1: wasn't welcoming. I was scared to ask you why. I
Speaker 1: don't ever want to feel like that. I want to
Speaker 1: be able to ask you any question. You ask me
Speaker 1: any question, even if it's stupid. I don't care, right,
Speaker 1: because we have to communicate that comfort, that ability to
Speaker 1: say something stupid. It might be dumb, but I am
Speaker 1: I feel safe saying it to you because you're the
Speaker 1: one that I want to spend my life with. Grow,
Speaker 1: build right, And if anybody, if any if, if if,
Speaker 1: if I'm gonna embarrass myself, it should be you. I'm
Speaker 1: embarrassing myself in front of you, and I could be vulnerable.
Speaker 1: And this is let me say this, this is the
Speaker 1: reason why. And I'm gonna say this to the guys
Speaker 1: because guys want to. You know, women always the always emotional,
Speaker 1: and they always they always be revengeful. The reason why
Speaker 1: these women are revengeful, it's not because the got cheated. Section.
Speaker 1: It's not the cheating that that hurts. It's it's the deceit.
Speaker 1: And it's the secret that you guys share in the
Speaker 1: bedroom that that dude shared with another woman, and that
Speaker 1: woman regurgitated to you when y'all connected to try to
Speaker 1: match each other's story because he cheated, right, And so
Speaker 1: when you hear that how he called her, I don't know, uh,
Speaker 1: pooky girl, girl. He licked my butt too, girl, looking
Speaker 1: at my butt just like he licks y'all. But so
Speaker 1: you're just out here looking. But that's what hurts, because
Speaker 1: that's something that you guys shared that's something that you
Speaker 1: guys did and y'all made a bow and a promise
Speaker 1: that this is our thing, and now you went out
Speaker 1: here and did it with somebody else. And that's where
Speaker 1: the anger comes from. That's when you want to kill
Speaker 1: a motherfucker's you know, this is for that, exactly for that, right?
Speaker 1: So yeah? So, I mean, I know we talked about
Speaker 1: intimate relationships, but there's other types of toxic relationships. So
Speaker 1: do you help people like with toxic relationships with their boss? Oh?
Speaker 1: I love it. I mean I had some toxic boss.
Speaker 1: I'm sure y'all have ran across some toxic and I
Speaker 1: got a bit name in my freezer since I don't know, no,
Speaker 1: A hundred and and and and and My thing is this,
Speaker 1: it's not it's not talked to you. It's not help
Speaker 1: people how to exit, because there's not all the time
Speaker 1: you can just leave a job. You're paying bills, you're
Speaker 1: providing for your family. You need the money. So how
Speaker 1: do you navigate daily through that position with a toxic individual?
Speaker 1: What about a family member that you have to be around?
Speaker 1: What about it is your mama? What about a family
Speaker 1: you union that this toxic person always say one thing,
Speaker 1: and it destroys the mood. How do you navigate through that? Right?
Speaker 1: And so these are the things that I helped people
Speaker 1: um navigate their way through so they can go through life, because,
Speaker 1: like I said, not everyone is able to cut people off.
Speaker 1: I mean, you could cut your mama off, but I
Speaker 1: wouldn't advise you to cut your mama off. I would
Speaker 1: advise you to be strategic and know how to handle her, right.
Speaker 1: And I shouldn't say handle her because people as they're like, uh,
Speaker 1: know how to maneuver with her. It's like a Waltz. Right.
Speaker 1: So what advice would you give someone that's in a
Speaker 1: toxic work environment with their bosses? Like have you ever
Speaker 1: seen that movie Sault and the lady was like clipping
Speaker 1: the stapler in his ear every time? Like, like, what
Speaker 1: do you do with with someone like that? What would
Speaker 1: you advise them to do? Right? Well? What? Well? Number one,
Speaker 1: I wouldn't advise them to be left a loan, right,
Speaker 1: And we know that, right, especially if it's a woman
Speaker 1: and the guy. Right. But I think that I think
Speaker 1: that any kind of question that you're going to ask
Speaker 1: your boss, do it in a in a team's kind
Speaker 1: of setting, right, because you have your support, which you
Speaker 1: other people is witnessed, right, because it's your word against
Speaker 1: your manager, right, especially if you're trying to build it.
Speaker 1: Let's just call it what it is, especially if you're
Speaker 1: trying to build a case, right. Um. I think that
Speaker 1: I think that eventually you would have to leave if
Speaker 1: if you're not able to handle it, right, because that's
Speaker 1: that's you're you're talking about somebody that's in authority over you, right,
Speaker 1: that's making your life miserable. And I think it's different
Speaker 1: when you have a friend of family member or a
Speaker 1: boyfriend and when you have somebody that's over you now.
Speaker 1: And that's why being in a relationship and that the
Speaker 1: guy is or the woman, either one is the person
Speaker 1: that's holding the money over you is dangerous, right, And
Speaker 1: so I think that I think when it comes to
Speaker 1: your boss, one thing that we have to understand, it's
Speaker 1: emotional and eligence. Right. We have to be able to
Speaker 1: control our emotion because we're angry. We're angry, we want
Speaker 1: to cry. Sometimes we're shaking because they just piste us off.
Speaker 1: And sometimes we feel powerless we want to fight, right,
Speaker 1: So we have to be able to control that emotion.
Speaker 1: And I'm gonna speak for us black people too, right,
Speaker 1: especially black people. We're very expressive, like, yo, you can
Speaker 1: just tell me something like I ain't gonna take this like,
Speaker 1: we're very expressive. But the thing is you have to
Speaker 1: be careful, So you have to bring that tone down, right.
Speaker 1: We have to learn verbal judo, And that's what I
Speaker 1: learned as a police officer, how to deescalate a situation
Speaker 1: that's spiraling out of control. Sometimes it's the picture of
Speaker 1: your voice. Right, if you really want somebody to listen
Speaker 1: to you, bring it down to a monotone points and
Speaker 1: people will listen to you. Right when you start yelling,
Speaker 1: it's it's exciting exciting the other person, right, It's it's
Speaker 1: making the other person, um really really excited too and
Speaker 1: bringing their emotion um. So you have to be able
Speaker 1: to kind of bring it down. And sometimes we're caught
Speaker 1: up in the moment and we're not able to listen
Speaker 1: to our conscious mind to retain ourselves. So what do
Speaker 1: you do with Taylor made you take a bathroom break?
Speaker 1: You might laugh, you might laugh, but I'm telling you,
Speaker 1: when you're getting really heated and you feel like you
Speaker 1: want to punch the person in the face, you have
Speaker 1: to be able to walk away. How do you walk
Speaker 1: away and still hold your dignity? Go to the bathroom
Speaker 1: because and this is what what what it does. It
Speaker 1: doesn't make you look like a punk because you gotta
Speaker 1: pay right right, So so it doesn't and it kind
Speaker 1: of psychologically trick your mind because it's not telling you
Speaker 1: you walked away because you were scared, because sometimes your
Speaker 1: mind kind of pushes you to right. But I ain't
Speaker 1: gonna be no punk. I hold me on. But if
Speaker 1: you go and take a bathroom break, I just need
Speaker 1: to go to the bathroom. Just go to the bathroom,
Speaker 1: angry and calm down, right, Just take a moment in
Speaker 1: the bathroom, and then you'll have a different energy coming out, right,
Speaker 1: but that yelling energy. And that's where a lot of
Speaker 1: domestic violence happen, especially when a man and woman is
Speaker 1: arguing and he's trying to leave the house and she
Speaker 1: was where are you going? And she grabbed the keys.
Speaker 1: Just let him he's trying, and let him go, and
Speaker 1: she stands in front of the door. And this is
Speaker 1: where the hit happens. I know it's this is graphic,
Speaker 1: but it's when they're standing in front of the door
Speaker 1: and they won't allow the man to leave, and he
Speaker 1: bumps the woman, and once the bump happened or the
Speaker 1: grabbing happen, that's assault. And that's where the domestic happen. Yeah, yeah, look,
Speaker 1: I definitely done took it there. I ain't even gonna lie.
Speaker 1: I've definitely been that person. Nigga, where you're going, I
Speaker 1: don't know what you think you're going right now, I'm
Speaker 1: lit really always the one trying to leave, and I
Speaker 1: will take the I will take you walking out on
Speaker 1: me as a sign of disrespect. And that's where to me, like,
Speaker 1: I've literally been the one trying to leave and damnit
Speaker 1: getting held hostage. So now I feel like an ape
Speaker 1: in a fucking cage and I'm gonna do whatever I
Speaker 1: gotta do to get out of here. So now it
Speaker 1: gets really bad and really ugly because I feel like
Speaker 1: if my man wanted to leave to calm down, I'm
Speaker 1: gonna let him leave. I'm not gonna make that a problem.
Speaker 1: I'm not taking the keys. I had a nigga hide
Speaker 1: my keys and like I'll send a picture with my sperity,
Speaker 1: like vibe it about. But in that moment, in that moment,
Speaker 1: you're not feeling like they're leaving to calm down, or
Speaker 1: maybe that's what's even if they feel like it felt
Speaker 1: like you're not leaving the calm down. You feel like
Speaker 1: you're leaving because you said what you had to say
Speaker 1: and now I don't get to say what I need
Speaker 1: to say. And I took it, and I take it
Speaker 1: this disrespect instead of just trying to calm be calm
Speaker 1: so we could have a have better communication. That's how
Speaker 1: I have been No gohead now if you want to
Speaker 1: leave care, that's how I got too old. I have
Speaker 1: no energy for that ship. No more go ahead, no
Speaker 1: no problem. I might be hearing going back. Right, even
Speaker 1: when the pandemic happened, right, people wasn't able to really
Speaker 1: leave right. So it's where how you work from home,
Speaker 1: how you divide your house, right to go into another room? Right,
Speaker 1: it's I mean, if you don't physically want to leave
Speaker 1: the house, and if you know that the other person,
Speaker 1: it hurts them when when when when they need you
Speaker 1: the most? Some people is in an argument, they need
Speaker 1: you the most. Right, they're hurt whatever or you might
Speaker 1: have cheated, you might have said something to hurt their feelings.
Speaker 1: They're going through some tough time and you walk out
Speaker 1: in them. That sometimes can be devastated to some people, right,
Speaker 1: or they might be dealing with some traumas back in
Speaker 1: the past where their mother walked out and their father
Speaker 1: walked out. Right. So, so, how do you the other person,
Speaker 1: defuse the situation because by you staying there, there's arguing there,
Speaker 1: and that's doing something to me though it's doing so
Speaker 1: I understand your triggers and me walking out how it
Speaker 1: may affect you because you have abandonment issues. But then
Speaker 1: how do I navigate that because what you're doing is
Speaker 1: hurting me so so so so can there be some compromise?
Speaker 1: Maybe you don't leave the the house grounds go to
Speaker 1: your That's why I always say I cannot live with
Speaker 1: a man in like a one bedroom apartment. I don't
Speaker 1: know how people do it. Like if we get into
Speaker 1: an argument and you walk past me, I'm gonna trip
Speaker 1: your ass up, Like, like I need you to be
Speaker 1: able to get as far away from me as possible.
Speaker 1: If we're not going to leave the premises, okay, and
Speaker 1: if I don't, if I try to go into another room,
Speaker 1: at least let me do that. Sometimes some people don't
Speaker 1: even let you do that, they'll follow you. That's show.
Speaker 1: That's show, and and and and that's why you have
Speaker 1: to have that you toxic? Okay that in the beginning,
Speaker 1: I admit that I have been toxic? Did you did?
Speaker 1: I wanted you? Just don't want to be left alone,
Speaker 1: that's all. She doesn't want to be loved. She wants
Speaker 1: to be left alone at the same time, but I'm
Speaker 1: a Gemini, chose okay, leave me then alone. But state like,
Speaker 1: what right? No, y'all crazy? So look, can you tell
Speaker 1: our listeners, like, what are some of the long term
Speaker 1: psychological effects of having stayed in a toxic relationship too long?
Speaker 1: You know, because many, many these days they talked about
Speaker 1: the modern that the modern woman, the traditional women. Traditional
Speaker 1: women stayed in toxic, toxic situations their whole lives, like
Speaker 1: they literally exactly or they died old, but they sacrificed
Speaker 1: their whole vibs for this husband and the children and
Speaker 1: the grandchildren. You know what I'm saying, what's the quality
Speaker 1: that's not a quality of life? Like the quit I
Speaker 1: feel like they might die old, but they died ten
Speaker 1: years younger than they were supposed to because of all
Speaker 1: their stress and trauma's possible. They don't even know how
Speaker 1: to have fun. They don't even know how to enjoy life.
Speaker 1: And that's why sometimes you would see them acting kind
Speaker 1: of awkward or kind of out of touch. You haven't
Speaker 1: seen a person that's been married so long and they
Speaker 1: don't even know how to even have a conversation with
Speaker 1: a stranger, right, And I think that I think that
Speaker 1: those are some of the things, right and you're you're, you're,
Speaker 1: you're right, Um, they need to be able to It's
Speaker 1: almost like they've been removed from society, the real world,
Speaker 1: let's just call it what it is. They've been living
Speaker 1: in their own world, whatever that world was, and so
Speaker 1: now they're being introduced to the real world. And some
Speaker 1: people are so it's they've been in this situation for
Speaker 1: twenty years and a lot of things. It's not going
Speaker 1: to change on their how they think and how they
Speaker 1: pursu see, right, um, And so sometimes it takes time, right,
Speaker 1: Sometimes it takes time. Sometimes it takes a lot of
Speaker 1: activities and and going to see a therapist and what
Speaker 1: have you. But I think, yes, can it be damaging
Speaker 1: one because you're talking about somebody that's been trained a
Speaker 1: certain way just like me being in the military. It
Speaker 1: used to be a military, right, I've been trained a
Speaker 1: certain way, and now you're telling me that, um, you
Speaker 1: know marching is wrong. Well, we march in the military.
Speaker 1: When you're talking about marchin is wrong. I've been doing
Speaker 1: it for twenty years, right, That's all I know. So, no,
Speaker 1: marchin is not wrong. But you're telling me there's another
Speaker 1: way that you can walk, but I can't see that.
Speaker 1: And that's where that's where sometimes the relationship becomes toxic,
Speaker 1: because you're being in relationships with people that have preconceived
Speaker 1: notions and have habits that you haven't even discussed with
Speaker 1: the individual, and maybe sometimes you don't even know, and
Speaker 1: then when you come together, there's a mismatch, there's issues,
Speaker 1: there's drama. Oh my god, I don't know what I
Speaker 1: got myself into. Well, and that's why we got to
Speaker 1: ask these questions, right, And that's why now that we
Speaker 1: know we know what toxicity is, we have an idea
Speaker 1: what's toxic. There's no reason unless you're the toxic one.
Speaker 1: Dam there's no reason why why you can't pick up
Speaker 1: on some of these songs. It's out there. We know
Speaker 1: it's out there. Yes, this person is showering me with money.
Speaker 1: He's saying all these pretty and nice things. Right, I
Speaker 1: need to know how he treats his friends, how he
Speaker 1: treat his mother, how he treats the waiter, how he
Speaker 1: treats another woman, right, how he treats me when he's
Speaker 1: not in front of his family or his friends or
Speaker 1: his boss. Because see, here's the thing. They'll treat you
Speaker 1: amazing in public. Oh, they will wine and dining in public.
Speaker 1: And as soon as you get in that car during
Speaker 1: the door closes, you're a bit double backslap hit and
Speaker 1: all kinds of things. Right, So we we gotta pick
Speaker 1: up on these signs. And like I said, when you
Speaker 1: go out on a date with an individual, look on
Speaker 1: how he treats the waiter. If he's shitty with the
Speaker 1: waitress for no reason, bing bing bing bing bing, that's
Speaker 1: something you need to record. Yeah, right, because the actresses,
Speaker 1: I don't want to eat with her. I don't know,
Speaker 1: she's just so mean to service people. I don't even
Speaker 1: like going out to eat with her sometimes, like, and
Speaker 1: she's like, well, I work in the service industry and
Speaker 1: I know good customer service, so it pisces me off
Speaker 1: to see people doing half as job. I mean I
Speaker 1: don't have to, that's true. I mean I could get that.
Speaker 1: You know, I love customer service and and and and
Speaker 1: I think that, but everybody does customer service differently, like
Speaker 1: like you said, so, yeah, she might be a little hard,
Speaker 1: you know, just like some people that are chefs and
Speaker 1: stuff like that when they're eating. I wouldn't want to
Speaker 1: go out to dinner with a chef if you're if
Speaker 1: you're a chef, because you're gonna criticize the gravy, the food,
Speaker 1: the chicken. I do, but I don't complain to the
Speaker 1: to the to the waiter though I'll stow you. I
Speaker 1: just I'm like one of those people who just quietly disappear. Okay,
Speaker 1: I'm gonna tell my friends your ship is fucked up,
Speaker 1: but I'm not going to like because I know how
Speaker 1: it feels to get your day ruin. She could be
Speaker 1: having a bad day like your waitress, right, and then
Speaker 1: you just come say some slick ship and should be
Speaker 1: back in you know, the back crying like I would
Speaker 1: never I know what it feels like to be in
Speaker 1: customer service, not necessarily like that type of service. But yeah,
Speaker 1: so here's the thing. If I was to date to
Speaker 1: a J and see this is this is just an
Speaker 1: example I'm gonna put out there, if I was to
Speaker 1: date to you number one, As a man, I have
Speaker 1: to understand that if there's an area that you are
Speaker 1: really good in and you know how a certain things
Speaker 1: supposed to be and you I'm not gonna say you
Speaker 1: are you are a critic of imperfection in that area.
Speaker 1: I know that I need to not pick the restaurant. Okay,
Speaker 1: I needed I need to. I'm not saying that I
Speaker 1: won't pay, but I need to make you to be
Speaker 1: the lead. So what I would say is, hey, ay J,
Speaker 1: look I find you very attractive. I think you're an
Speaker 1: amazing person. I want to get to know you more. Um,
Speaker 1: do you have a favorite restaurant that you that you
Speaker 1: go to, right? And then you and then so and so.
Speaker 1: Now I'm taking you to your restaurant because that's what
Speaker 1: you like. You know what the services right. But see
Speaker 1: what a lot of times people do is they don't
Speaker 1: do that right. They say, look, I'm gonna take you
Speaker 1: to my restaurant because they think their restaurant is hot
Speaker 1: ship right, And now you go to my restaurant and
Speaker 1: now you're saying something about my gravy, which is my
Speaker 1: favorite gravy. And my mama loved these guys to take
Speaker 1: you to, so why we got a plastic for it? Right?
Speaker 1: That's like guy's been taking their restaurants another woman I
Speaker 1: introduced them to, Like, don't be taking me to some
Speaker 1: subpart place, some sub aur bitch done had you at
Speaker 1: because men never know what they want to eat. And
Speaker 1: I always threatened dudes like when I started dating them,
Speaker 1: like if I catch you, because I know where I
Speaker 1: want to eat, right, so I'm always had like the
Speaker 1: low place set up. If I catch you in a
Speaker 1: place I introduce you to with another woman, I'm gonna
Speaker 1: clear the motherfucker table in my forearm. Okay, it's not fair.
Speaker 1: I'm a flipper. I've never done it right, But don't
Speaker 1: be up in my place with somebody else. That's what
Speaker 1: you know. Guys, be like, have you been here with
Speaker 1: somebody already before? Yes, I've been all over this city
Speaker 1: in every restaurant I like to eat, right, It's just
Speaker 1: not fair where we're gonna go. There's nowhere left to go.
Speaker 1: I like to eat so and my things that that's
Speaker 1: usually comes from that that's usually comes from a little insecurity, right,
Speaker 1: and sometimes people just want to try something new that
Speaker 1: you guys can have your memory together. Look, somebody that's confident,
Speaker 1: let me tell you something. I'm you could call me cocky, whatever.
Speaker 1: I am so confident that I can take you to
Speaker 1: the same place that you was wine and dine with
Speaker 1: with another guy, and I can make you have a
Speaker 1: total different experience with me and memorable. I could care
Speaker 1: less about if you went with ten different dudes to
Speaker 1: the same restaurants. All right, Taylor, let that's how it
Speaker 1: should be, Taylor, I hear you, because my thing is this, right,
Speaker 1: everybody experience is different. You're not gonna have the same experience.
Speaker 1: And so, like I said, people that's what kind of insecure.
Speaker 1: And maybe they don't know if they're, you know, a
Speaker 1: ten above the person that you had the experience with,
Speaker 1: so they're kind of thinking, I wonder what they did.
Speaker 1: I wanted she had a better time with him or her,
Speaker 1: what have you? Like we were worried about the wrong things.
Speaker 1: We need to be focused on you. Like, like I said,
Speaker 1: I can overshadow the experience that you had with that
Speaker 1: other person. I could care less. You know what I'm saying,
Speaker 1: that's clearly it wasn't all that you have to eat
Speaker 1: with me today, right, So that would be considered like
Speaker 1: a red flag toxic. If somebody's like always asking about
Speaker 1: previous relationships, I want to know how many people you've
Speaker 1: been with? Oh, don't ask those questions. Don't ask those questions.
Speaker 1: Who cares? Some men care? Some men care? That is
Speaker 1: that is, don't don't like that. That is the most
Speaker 1: I don't not want to know how many how many
Speaker 1: men you've been with, but it's irrelevant to me. It's
Speaker 1: irrelevant to me what that has to do with me.
Speaker 1: Okay you've been with one guy, Oh you don't have
Speaker 1: no experience. Okay, you've been with twenty guys. Oh you've
Speaker 1: got too many bodies. Come on, you want exactly so, No,
Speaker 1: you don't need to know it. It's not irrelevant. Let's
Speaker 1: let's get to know each other from here. Now. You
Speaker 1: might want to know some things of my pastor you
Speaker 1: like if I have a child, right, you might want
Speaker 1: to know, like you know what's your child like and
Speaker 1: how what type of father you are? Those things are
Speaker 1: are different and important. How many people I dated have
Speaker 1: nothing to do with you. Vice versa. As long as
Speaker 1: it's none of my friends, I don't care, right if
Speaker 1: you suck them, if you suck my friend, it's kind
Speaker 1: of like, well, I mean, I don't know if I
Speaker 1: want to be serious with you, we might get but
Speaker 1: I don't know. Yo, but see, but but but but
Speaker 1: but here's the thing, and just say y'all niggas, no,
Speaker 1: y'all be passed around to go ahead. But it takes
Speaker 1: it takes a true person to come and let you know,
Speaker 1: because they don't have to say anything. A true person
Speaker 1: and let you know. Hey, look, your friend, we we
Speaker 1: talked like six months ago or two years. Well maybe
Speaker 1: not six months ago, that might be too soon, but
Speaker 1: like three years ago, whatever it was in the past year.
Speaker 1: We had six one time and that was it, right,
Speaker 1: I mean that right there. I respect that. Then you're
Speaker 1: not telling me at all. And and it depends how
Speaker 1: you tell me. Don't be telling me like the sex
Speaker 1: was the bomb dot com because we're gonna have some problems. Okay, no,
Speaker 1: it ain't. So what if you're with somebody, right and
Speaker 1: they find out that at some point in your life
Speaker 1: you dated like a distant relative, supposed distant relative, there's right,
Speaker 1: and the relative knows that you're with this guy now, right,
Speaker 1: but you didn't disclose it to your current guy, Like
Speaker 1: this is a twelve year old relationship from way back when,
Speaker 1: and I didn't feel like I needed to to let
Speaker 1: you know when we got together. You know what I'm saying.
Speaker 1: You can't even tell me his mama's name. So is
Speaker 1: that really your cousin? Like? Am I wrong for not
Speaker 1: disclosing that information? Could that be seen as being toxic?
Speaker 1: Are creating a toxic situation? Yeah? I think that. I
Speaker 1: think that. Um, you know, there's certain things that you
Speaker 1: take to your grave as long as that grave unwrapfle like, okay,
Speaker 1: so he will that dug the grave up? He dug
Speaker 1: the grave up. It's not like somebody told him. He
Speaker 1: literally dug the grave up. The nigger went through my
Speaker 1: Facebook twelve years back, so I didn't even know you
Speaker 1: existed at the time. So because you're snooping that hard,
Speaker 1: you see an argument between me and a woman in
Speaker 1: regarding this guy, right, who happens to be somebody you know, Yeah,
Speaker 1: but that's not that nigger cousin. You don't even know
Speaker 1: if his family like that, Like, so you can't even pinpoint,
Speaker 1: how y'all are even cousins. You're just saying that. You're
Speaker 1: just trying to say that to make me feel bad,
Speaker 1: Like that's toxic to me. And I think some people
Speaker 1: some people do that, right, Some people just do that.
Speaker 1: Like say, for instance, you might apologize to somebody, right,
Speaker 1: y'all have an argument. Y'all apologize somebody, but they won't
Speaker 1: let it go, like you apologize, but they won't let
Speaker 1: it go. And they love that argument back and forth,
Speaker 1: like that pain going, that yelling, that strife, like they
Speaker 1: love that stuff. So, yeah, you're right. Sometimes some people
Speaker 1: just want to create something that's not really there because
Speaker 1: either they know some people do. I gotta work on
Speaker 1: myself because I'll be doing that too, not not to
Speaker 1: like just fight, but so I used to like pick
Speaker 1: a little fight so we could have like angry sex
Speaker 1: and that's it. I know. But it used to be
Speaker 1: so good. I know, I know. But my thing is this,
Speaker 1: why can't y'all role play angry? It's not the same.
Speaker 1: It's not the same. And Nick ain't pushing your head
Speaker 1: into that pillow the same. You ain't find the right niggers.
Speaker 1: But but but yeah, yeah, I mean, yeah, a lot
Speaker 1: of people do that, right, They want to have that
Speaker 1: that that that that it's a pay as it is,
Speaker 1: and I think that's, um, it's not healthy. It's really
Speaker 1: not I know, because the thing is is that then
Speaker 1: because now you're hooked on that, and so if the
Speaker 1: person don't make you feel that way, um, then then yeah,
Speaker 1: you start poking buttons, right, and you start doing things
Speaker 1: to make this person mad. I remember one girl told me,
Speaker 1: she goes, I never saw you angry. I want to
Speaker 1: see you angry. Why why do you want to see
Speaker 1: me mad? I think it's important to see a person
Speaker 1: mad before you marry them. True, true, But you don't.
Speaker 1: Let's do it again. Can we not have an organic
Speaker 1: argument then? Exactly? Like, don't create something just to see
Speaker 1: because that should can backfire. Like I feel triggered right now. Okay,
Speaker 1: I feel like really triggered just thinking about times where
Speaker 1: I was chilling and motherfucker could come home and just
Speaker 1: change the whole aura, and it's it takes a long
Speaker 1: time to get over that type of thing. Like, So
Speaker 1: another question I had was like, how, um do you
Speaker 1: really even recover from a toxic relationship? Because we're having
Speaker 1: this conversation and I don't got triggered, like I know,
Speaker 1: my honest okay, like how do you and win? Like
Speaker 1: it's gonna take me a long time because even like
Speaker 1: y h yeah, no you you, you will always have
Speaker 1: those triggers. There's no different than It's no different than
Speaker 1: a cologne um that you with, this guy that you
Speaker 1: felt that was tall and fine and stuff of that.
Speaker 1: And when you smell it, you can smell it ten
Speaker 1: years later, twenty years later, it still brings you back
Speaker 1: to that place. Right, whether it's a song that you hear,
Speaker 1: man I remember and it brings you. So we're we're
Speaker 1: so we have triggers in our lives, whether good triggers
Speaker 1: are bad triggers, right, And I think that, yes, you'll
Speaker 1: always have that trigger. But what makes you an overcomer
Speaker 1: is to be able to control it. Right, it's because
Speaker 1: so so so how do you control the trigger. I'm
Speaker 1: gonna be honest. I'm gonna be honest with you. It's
Speaker 1: kind of bad. It's to sit in it. So so
Speaker 1: so like like like right now you're feeling triggered, right,
Speaker 1: you want to run, you so, so if you run,
Speaker 1: you're not facing it, right, So, so now you sit
Speaker 1: in it, right and so, but but it's more to
Speaker 1: than just sitting there. You don't know if they're like okay,
Speaker 1: tailor man, I'm just gonna sit in it. Okay, beat
Speaker 1: me up. No, So now we have to have a conversation,
Speaker 1: and that's where an expert comes in, right, a therapist
Speaker 1: comes in professionally, because now we have to understand why
Speaker 1: do you feel that way? And there that we go
Speaker 1: down that y pack, why do you feel that way way?
Speaker 1: I feel that way because this is the situation that
Speaker 1: I was in. Well how come you was in that situation?
Speaker 1: Because I need to hear what happened right, And a
Speaker 1: lot of times people are not um uh forthcoming and
Speaker 1: telling you what they tell you the part that they know, right,
Speaker 1: But when somebody's trying to help you, they need to
Speaker 1: know the full orient. Sometimes we ask these why questions
Speaker 1: and it seems like we're going down a rabbit hole,
Speaker 1: but it pulls out a lot out of a person. So, yeah,
Speaker 1: you have to find out why do you feel that way?
Speaker 1: And when do you feel that way? Right? Um, when
Speaker 1: this happened, I feel that way right, and so um
Speaker 1: and then and then and then once we get that
Speaker 1: because that's a soft spot right. Now, we got the
Speaker 1: heart right, and now we got to heal it right.
Speaker 1: And how do you heal How do you heal it
Speaker 1: by doing therapy right, massage in it right, making you
Speaker 1: make getting you there. And that's why there's techniques that
Speaker 1: license therapists do to get you there, to get you
Speaker 1: right right, like right there where your emotions is so
Speaker 1: high and it's able to kind of like kind of
Speaker 1: like men the wound when you're at that top. See
Speaker 1: if your friends do it and you're right, you can explode,
Speaker 1: man and be damaged. That's why you don't quote it
Speaker 1: your friends because I'll tell this. I'll tell the same
Speaker 1: story to five different friends, and I'm just re victimizing
Speaker 1: my own self every single time, Like it's just like
Speaker 1: a world press to a girl. Let me tell you
Speaker 1: what this nigga did. I gotta tell the same couple
Speaker 1: of people that I tell every time, the same thing.
Speaker 1: Like I'm working on that. Yeah, So so we're gonna
Speaker 1: get you to just tell one person or maybe me,
Speaker 1: maybe two people, Me and somebody and you and the listeners.
Speaker 1: Let me tell you what happened. Hold On, Taylor, were
Speaker 1: you in the room the other night when that guy
Speaker 1: came in there and called me uh. He came in
Speaker 1: randomly and he called me um, not deceitful. He called
Speaker 1: me um ah, he said I was devious. Were you there? No?
Speaker 1: I was not there. Oh why did he call you that? Though?
Speaker 1: It was random? So we're in the clubhouse, little uh
Speaker 1: and this ties into what we're talking about kind of, right.
Speaker 1: So we're in a in a clubhouse, little um social room.
Speaker 1: So there's only a couple of us in there. I
Speaker 1: thought Taylor was in there, but I wasn't even looking
Speaker 1: at the phone at the time, Like I literally had
Speaker 1: it off of mute and I just had it on
Speaker 1: the bed. So all of a sudden, I'm talking and
Speaker 1: I hear somebody said, you're you devious. I'm like what,
Speaker 1: So I go to the phone like, I'm like, who
Speaker 1: who is that? So it's some sixties seven year old man. Right,
Speaker 1: So now we're we're in there talking about men and
Speaker 1: how women are being treated out in the world and
Speaker 1: on this app right, and here we have a prime
Speaker 1: example of how men feel away and then they then
Speaker 1: started abusing. It could be a random woman, or it
Speaker 1: could be the woman in your life. Because you're feeling away.
Speaker 1: So my friend was like, you know, why did you
Speaker 1: come in here like that? He was like, well, you know,
Speaker 1: I'm I'm hurt and I just lost two wives recently.
Speaker 1: So he lost his ex wife and his uh, his
Speaker 1: current wife right in the last couple of months. So
Speaker 1: now you're hurting, so you turn around and come on
Speaker 1: the internet to hurt a random person. And all I
Speaker 1: could think was that these two women are gone. It's
Speaker 1: really rare for men to outlive wives, right, I feel
Speaker 1: like because they usually say married women live longer. I mean,
Speaker 1: excuse me, single women live longer. Married women actually die earlier,
Speaker 1: but they um. But there's what is married men live longer, right,
Speaker 1: So he's married. He probably stressed these two women out
Speaker 1: their whole fucking marriages, Like the who their whole lives.
Speaker 1: He probably stressed them out because they're this random ass
Speaker 1: person stressing me out on the fucking internet. So that's toxic. Toxic,
Speaker 1: It is toxic, and I think that people like I said,
Speaker 1: they're not going to get help, right, So guess who
Speaker 1: they unload on? People like me and you and and
Speaker 1: the people that are listening in that area app conversation
Speaker 1: yea or or people that I love them, right, because
Speaker 1: the usually the closer, the closer, um you are, um
Speaker 1: to the person, that's the person that you tend to
Speaker 1: unload under on. So you know, it's it's really sad
Speaker 1: and these people like he needs to go and get
Speaker 1: some some help. He do. He's lost two women in
Speaker 1: his life, two women that's that he has spent his time,
Speaker 1: his life, he's built with in his life. Um, and
Speaker 1: he's not okay, right and so and that's a prime
Speaker 1: example and that and that's the result of it what
Speaker 1: he did. So, Um, it's it's very it's serious, it's serious.
Speaker 1: But we don't go get help. We don't. We think
Speaker 1: we can cure ourselves. We think we're the curer. We
Speaker 1: are the cure of our own soul. Right, And I
Speaker 1: really do believe in doctors, medical doctors, and I believe
Speaker 1: that we need to We need to do it for
Speaker 1: ourselves and our freedom, right and our kids. Yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: this is deep stuff. Y'all. Listen, we're gonna take a
Speaker 1: break right quick. You'll be right back. We'll be right back. Oh, Taylor,
Speaker 1: can you share a story for our SIMP series? Boy,
Speaker 1: there's no real easy way to say this, So I
Speaker 1: don't know if a j told you about Dumb Bitch
Speaker 1: and Simp series, but it's the time you get to
Speaker 1: share a story of where a woman has tried to
Speaker 1: play you or tried to like do something. He got one.
Speaker 1: Look at his face. He got one. He got made
Speaker 1: it Taylors. He got to this position. Um. I think
Speaker 1: the one that I could think of off handis that
Speaker 1: I went, I mean, it's okay. I went out with
Speaker 1: a young lady and she said that she wasn't comfortable
Speaker 1: going out by herself. Um, so she invited her girlfriend
Speaker 1: with with with her us, and I agreed to it,
Speaker 1: so you know I agree, So it's you know, it's fair.
Speaker 1: So she brought her girlfriend out. I didn't know her
Speaker 1: girlfriend was gonna sit at the table with us. Her
Speaker 1: her friend ordered food for her friend didn't pay. I
Speaker 1: pay for everybody I paid. I let the bill sit there.
Speaker 1: I let the bill sit there for about thirty minutes,
Speaker 1: and I'm in my head and I'm like, I'm gonna
Speaker 1: see how long this bill is gonna sit here before
Speaker 1: the friend offered to pay. See the guy that I
Speaker 1: am today, I wish I was back then because I
Speaker 1: would have called the way and I would have said, hey,
Speaker 1: can I have switched checks please? I'm paying for this
Speaker 1: young lady. And she said, but I wasn't bold enough then.
Speaker 1: I was. I'm still a nice guy. But I was
Speaker 1: overly nice then. But I paid for it all, and uh,
Speaker 1: it was a big turn off. I never went out
Speaker 1: with her again. She's like, oh, let's meet up for coffee.
Speaker 1: Now I'm not interested. So if I alright, maybe not
Speaker 1: on the first obviously, like when I'm just getting to
Speaker 1: know a guy, I wouldn't necessarily invite my friends along
Speaker 1: to run up the check. But after if we're dating.
Speaker 1: And I asked him, my best friend come and as
Speaker 1: she said, yes, I expect you to pay for her
Speaker 1: tamp too. Yeah, Oh is that bad? Is that bad?
Speaker 1: I think I think that who that's that's a that's
Speaker 1: a I think that the expectations have to be talked about.
Speaker 1: I really do. I think I changed my name the
Speaker 1: toxic Tammy, you know. I think I think that if
Speaker 1: he if he, if he offers great, I think if
Speaker 1: you can't, you can't invite your girlfriend and let's see
Speaker 1: and and here's the thing. Before those things transpired, he
Speaker 1: should know who you are. He should know that, Hey,
Speaker 1: if you invite your girlfriend, you're paying for me and
Speaker 1: my girlfriend, right, So he wouldn't even accept the in fight.
Speaker 1: He wouldn't even go down that path. So I think
Speaker 1: that you just have to find a person that you
Speaker 1: have that talk with and if they agree to it,
Speaker 1: then cool, like no hard feelings. I'm not saying that's
Speaker 1: a bad thing. I'm not saying you're toxic. Um, but
Speaker 1: I think that, uh, I think that like somebody that's
Speaker 1: not used to that. Um, it could be like whoa,
Speaker 1: she's just trying to get over, right, but but but
Speaker 1: but but but it wouldn't be you trying to get
Speaker 1: over because y'all have a relationship. Right, it's more than
Speaker 1: just the initial date. Um. But I don't know, because
Speaker 1: I'm gonna be honest with you, I might feel some
Speaker 1: kind of way for your friend, your friends trying to
Speaker 1: get a free ride. Nah nah, night, that's the thing
Speaker 1: some like night. It's just something because my friend had
Speaker 1: a piece of sam and now she got a fun. Right.
Speaker 1: But but girls, she can help you something. Don't don't
Speaker 1: get it twisted twisted. Your friend might like that guy
Speaker 1: that's the provider. That's that's why she wanted to. That's why. Yeah,
Speaker 1: they might be like, you know what I like and
Speaker 1: then let me let this exactly my friends girl by
Speaker 1: bit you one of my friends tell my girl right,
Speaker 1: not mean? Okay, So you know that's that's all the pens, right,
Speaker 1: it all depends. Yeah, all right, Taylor, this is great. Okay, Yeah,
Speaker 1: this is amazing. I need to get back with you
Speaker 1: and like I need to iron out some ship. Yeah. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I think a lot of things that I did share
Speaker 1: today I am better then. Like a lot of that
Speaker 1: stuff is like old stuff, Like I wouldn't pick a
Speaker 1: fight the fun no more, Like that's just too much.
Speaker 1: It takes too much energy to come up with a
Speaker 1: reason to get mad about something, honestly. But that's probably
Speaker 1: the only thing I don't do anymore out of all
Speaker 1: the things. So, but but I got a question for you,
Speaker 1: But do you know do you do? You think you
Speaker 1: do it subconsciously? Though you think? Do you think that
Speaker 1: fights happen and yeah, and then it results in good sex.
Speaker 1: But you didn't purposely pick it. But maybe subconsciously you
Speaker 1: created it. Mm hmmm. I don't know. That's very possible.
Speaker 1: I haven't even thought about that. I know that I
Speaker 1: don't like, come up with some ship to start so
Speaker 1: we can have good sex. I don't do that anymore.
Speaker 1: Like now, if it happens, yeah, I don't do that anymore.
Speaker 1: It's just a it takes too much time. Okay, time
Speaker 1: is money at this point. So all right, Taylor, listen,
Speaker 1: plug all your ship, plug your social plug. Where can
Speaker 1: listeners find you if they want to? You know, partake
Speaker 1: and said, uh toxic relationship therapy. Yeah, so I'm on
Speaker 1: all over social media platforms Facebook, um, I G Twitter, UM.
Speaker 1: I also have a podcast you can listen to. Um
Speaker 1: tailor made speaks dot com. It's my website. You can
Speaker 1: find me there. Um. And on the I G. I
Speaker 1: think I'm gonna change that real to some uh non
Speaker 1: uh toxic women. I want. I want to get some
Speaker 1: good women out there, and I be the toxic person
Speaker 1: off for once. So I think I'm gonna I'm gonna
Speaker 1: change the kind of flow with that because my reals
Speaker 1: be portraying toxic women. Let me find out your Tyler
Speaker 1: Perry on goddamn Instagram tylitary love for trade of toxic
Speaker 1: Black women. Y'all, oh man, listen, we really enjoyed you
Speaker 1: for pulling up. I enjoyed you all. Appreciate you. Thank
Speaker 1: you all so much. Thank you, y'all listen, hold on,
Speaker 1: don't hang up yet, Taylor. Listen, guys, and you enjoyed
Speaker 1: this episode. If you enjoyed this episode, guys, please tune
Speaker 1: in every Thursday on an I Heart Radio Apple wherever
Speaker 1: the fun you get your podcast at. This is your
Speaker 1: co host AJ Holiday to point Oh. Y'all can follow
Speaker 1: me on Instagram. Y'all follow us on We Talked Back
Speaker 1: podcast on Instagram at as well, and we talked Back
Speaker 1: p O d Onto Winter. What's up, Tam. Y'all follow
Speaker 1: me on Instagram official Tam bam Um. Send your dumb
Speaker 1: bing stories to us and also send your ask a
Speaker 1: Black Friend questions. We really appreciate that. I love you guys.
Speaker 1: Thank you all for tuning in once again. And I
Speaker 1: remember to speak now and never hold your peace. Dan