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Speaker 1: We're just two unapologetically black women with an opinion who

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Speaker 1: talks back. What's up, y'all is a j thank you

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Speaker 1: for tuning in for a new episode that we talked back.

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Speaker 1: I show dedicated to you niggas and these holes. Hey, y'all,

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Speaker 1: it's official, tam bam. I don't know if I love

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Speaker 1: y'all this week because y'all didn't see me a single

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Speaker 1: cash at for my birthday, So I'm junking. I still

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Speaker 1: love y'all. I know money tight. I know money tight

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Speaker 1: right now? Shire a loaf of brad ten dollars. You've

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Speaker 1: seen that. They a lot of brad about to be

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Speaker 1: ten dollars. Girl. Look, I'm glad I've been off carves. Now.

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Speaker 1: I did go out to eat over the weekend and

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Speaker 1: ate for croissants, But then how you off carves if

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Speaker 1: you had? I know, Look, I had been doing really

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Speaker 1: good the whole last I want to say, maybe three

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Speaker 1: weeks no carbs and just car fist on Saturday. But look,

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Speaker 1: I'm gonna be honest with you, bitch. Okay, remember the

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Speaker 1: last time he was a corn and you was eating

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Speaker 1: a piece of chocolate cake. The next day, I went

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Speaker 1: and got me a boy knows from uh from public

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Speaker 1: and I literally was sitting on the goddamn kick out

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Speaker 1: for I don't know, maybe ten minutes, the beating about

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Speaker 1: buying the kick mix up brownie mix, like I really

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Speaker 1: wanted that. Boy. You know, it's like these little uh

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Speaker 1: it's like a little chocolate, little hazel nut orange that

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Speaker 1: looked like paint on the side. Yes, I love them.

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Speaker 1: They're so good. I put him in the freezer there

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Speaker 1: from Italy, so I trust them. It ain't an American

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Speaker 1: me little snack. I love him. Girl, you sound like baby.

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Speaker 1: They's in Italy and they put the chocolate on it,

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Speaker 1: and they gotta put it in the freezer. I love cold.

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Speaker 1: I like cold chocolate. How is your birthday? Weekend? Tell

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Speaker 1: us about it was so much fun, so I um

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Speaker 1: food down the Atlanta. I was my best friend. It

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Speaker 1: was her birthday on the sixth, So at the nine

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Speaker 1: six six, UM we hung out. We went to just

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Speaker 1: had dinner at St. K and then we went to

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Speaker 1: UH couple of clubs, club hop, a couple of sections.

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Speaker 1: You know, nothing too crazy, come all right, little something,

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Speaker 1: a little something. The Sunday we went to um, what's

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Speaker 1: the name of that place? Blue Martini for their Sunday brunch.

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Speaker 1: Hung out there a couple of hours, and then that

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Speaker 1: night I went to a couple of bars again influence. Um,

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Speaker 1: I want to call the ship, but it ain't call that.

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Speaker 1: It's Sheba Sheba live on the African spot. Yeah, Shiva

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Speaker 1: in living room. So that was nice. We had a

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Speaker 1: good time and I fell in love with that song.

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Speaker 1: Uh I go chiyo. You know what I'm talking about,

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Speaker 1: block up burner burner, block up burner boy, burner ball

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Speaker 1: and it's got Tona Braxton, Right, Tony Braxton. He sampled

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Speaker 1: Tony Braxton song, So I want to go look at

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Speaker 1: that and he's paying her sixty and royalties for that song.

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Speaker 1: Go ahead, Tony, get your back up. Yeah all right,

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Speaker 1: I loved you. I had a good time. I'm tired now,

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Speaker 1: and typically Monday morning I'll be hungover, but this Monday

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Speaker 1: I wasn't because I had did so much over the weekend.

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Speaker 1: Sunday night, I was kind of like, I can't know more.

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Speaker 1: I realized I'm Auntie. Was sorry, y'all. Look I don't

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Speaker 1: do much. I went bike riding. Let me tell you

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Speaker 1: all about me. I'm gonna be honest women, and I

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Speaker 1: know maybe there might be a lot of women that

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Speaker 1: feel like me. I don't want to do ship when

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Speaker 1: my psycho come on, Okay, I really don't want to

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Speaker 1: do anything. I literally hardly leave the house and I

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Speaker 1: knew and then be swell up like I just didn't.

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Speaker 1: Sorry my friend, I missed your birthday festivity. Yeah, I

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Speaker 1: was feeling away that he was not there. Other bitches

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Speaker 1: with you. How many was it? It was like ten,

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Speaker 1: that's a lot. I should have been twelve. I'm sorry,

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Speaker 1: my friend. I love you, dude. Like next year, don't

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Speaker 1: don't be missing next year because we're gonna be on

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Speaker 1: the show. I'm gonna start it off like yeah, it's

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Speaker 1: tam bam, and I ain't fucking with this bitch right

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Speaker 1: here today I got one strike. Yes you usually come. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: can I get a little like a little great in

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Speaker 1: the past this year, getting one grace past this year?

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Speaker 1: That's it. That's see. Look what we got going on

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Speaker 1: in stupid internet news this week, Lin, A lot of

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Speaker 1: scupid ship happened. So apparently there's this place called sessing

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Speaker 1: Me Street, place for children where black kids are being

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Speaker 1: discriminated against. Uh there is a video. Well it started

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Speaker 1: with one video where these two little black girls were

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Speaker 1: desperately holding their arms out to hug the muppet Rosita,

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Speaker 1: and Rosita basically says no period after she has just

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Speaker 1: hugged some white children. And the look on those kids faces,

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Speaker 1: they looked just like very sad, you know, discouraged because

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Speaker 1: this muppet would not show them any love. And apparently

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Speaker 1: it's been going on where all these fucking muppets, all

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Speaker 1: these videos are circulating of little black kids being denied

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Speaker 1: the love that they want from their beloved muppets from

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Speaker 1: Sesame Street because it's some probably some racist crackers inside

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Speaker 1: Rosita's body. So I got I saw the video, I

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Speaker 1: saw then initial video, and I guess the mama probably

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Speaker 1: put it out there and make sure she wasn't tripping. Girl,

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Speaker 1: you are not tripping. And exactly because apparently there's been

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Speaker 1: don't know to three other videos that have come out

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Speaker 1: of them blatantly you know, not wanting to touch black kids.

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Speaker 1: And how much of a bitch ass muffett do you

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Speaker 1: have to be to try to get off on some

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Speaker 1: little kids. You know what I'm saying, that's what they're doing. Like,

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Speaker 1: could you imagine I would have just really upset all

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Speaker 1: the children at the park because I would have been

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Speaker 1: beaten Rosie the ass, Rosie the little head when we're

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Speaker 1: flying across, Mommy is dead because her Muppet head is

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Speaker 1: on the ground. When I tell you, I would have

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Speaker 1: ruined the whole parade, like everybody for all the kids.

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Speaker 1: Oh if my kids said everybody? Kids said now because Rose,

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Speaker 1: look at Rosie the Head rolling on the ground. But

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Speaker 1: it would have been easy, though, because while she was watching,

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Speaker 1: you know, marching on by. I would have just stuck

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Speaker 1: my foot out Rosa. But why though, Like, can you

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Speaker 1: imagine the like? Because they can't. They can't do nothing

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Speaker 1: to an adults. So they're getting off on kids. Kids.

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Speaker 1: You're sitting in your little Muppet break room and you're saying, yeah,

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Speaker 1: I I hurt the feelings of seven black kids today.

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Speaker 1: I'm so dope. Stuff like that. Yeah, and stuff like

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Speaker 1: that to me translates to the classrooms, because who is

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Speaker 1: your kids teacher? Your kids teacher could be doing the

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Speaker 1: same thing. We've seen videos in the past where you've

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Speaker 1: got a little black kid off eating by themselves and

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Speaker 1: they got the whole table of white kids. You know,

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Speaker 1: why is my child by by himself over here that

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Speaker 1: that ship is Listen. I don't care when nobody say.

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Speaker 1: I feel like the kol Klux Klan may just be

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Speaker 1: like the biggest secret society in the world. You know

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Speaker 1: what I'm saying. It just goes to show that there's

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Speaker 1: racist in hate in every profession, even some places innocent

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Speaker 1: as Sesame Street placed. It's always gonna be somebody who

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Speaker 1: hates on the basis of skin color. I wonder if

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Speaker 1: there was different people and each cost to him, or

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Speaker 1: it was it just one person that they can identify, right,

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Speaker 1: Like does one person wear the same class tum or

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Speaker 1: do they come in as different muppets all the time

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Speaker 1: exactly because I would like to know. And now you

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Speaker 1: get to hide behind a mask. Looks like a hood

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Speaker 1: to me, you see what I'm saying. While I mentioned

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Speaker 1: like the schools and they're all in the day and

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Speaker 1: police departments, like this ship runs really doctor's office. But

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Speaker 1: don't be getting off on the low kids, I don't

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Speaker 1: like that. I do not like that. Yeah, but we please.

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Speaker 1: I hope someone figures out how to share who was

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Speaker 1: Rosita that day, because at least we control their Instagram

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Speaker 1: and whatever they anything that got let's just suck it up, right,

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Speaker 1: because they could very well keep their job because the

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Speaker 1: company is okay with that behavior. But we will never know.

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Speaker 1: We'll never know who it is because they just don't

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Speaker 1: take care. Don't take your black children to because they're

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Speaker 1: not loved there. Nope, not at all. So what's up

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Speaker 1: with um? I've read this article online y'all because I

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Speaker 1: saw it initially on uh days Instagram page. So I

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Speaker 1: went because you know, listen, I'm a gym and night

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Speaker 1: I need all information before I passed judgment. So I

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Speaker 1: saw this article and it says from Kim to Hot

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Speaker 1: Cheetah girls, white people are retiring from blackness. Did you

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Speaker 1: read that article? I sent it to you. I might

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Speaker 1: have skimmed over it. So on this article they have

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Speaker 1: videos from different little white girls from TikTok, you know,

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Speaker 1: showing there before and after photos there before when they

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Speaker 1: used to wear big hoop airings, braids, do rags, basically

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Speaker 1: when they had the black girl aesthetic to now and

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Speaker 1: how their life is so much better now after they stopped,

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Speaker 1: you know, acting like a black girl. And then now

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Speaker 1: we see Kim K with the blonde here, Chloe has

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Speaker 1: blonde here, very tan anymore exactly. M hmm. So now

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Speaker 1: it's no longer a popular to be black, apparently. I

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Speaker 1: don't know if I'm still enjoying it. I don't know.

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Speaker 1: I can't speak for anybody else it very much. They

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Speaker 1: say they went blond and lost their bb els. I

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Speaker 1: don't know. I haven't been looking at Kim's ass, you know. Um.

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Speaker 1: You know, Chloe has always been looking like something something.

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Speaker 1: It's given much something to me. I don't know exactly

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Speaker 1: what she looks like, but the chicken thing in hands,

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Speaker 1: you know what I think. In California, though, it's a

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Speaker 1: thing to look ambiguous, like you can't. They don't want

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Speaker 1: to look like any color for sure. Like she could

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Speaker 1: be white, she could be black, she could be Hispanic,

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Speaker 1: she could be nobody knows what she is, you know.

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Speaker 1: I think that's a very much a thing in California.

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Speaker 1: I don't know. But the TikTok trend is the ghetto

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Speaker 1: hot cheeto girls. That's what they call them black women.

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Speaker 1: That's what they're calling young black girls. That's like the look.

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Speaker 1: It's the ghetto che because they cheat, and black women

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Speaker 1: love black girls like hot cheetos. Like, so it's like

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Speaker 1: a ghetto thing basically, So when they were looking that

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Speaker 1: way with a black boyfriend and all that stuff, they

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Speaker 1: were going through like the phase, and now they're like

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Speaker 1: and I thought it was because their spray tape and

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Speaker 1: be making them look orange. Look that part that too

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Speaker 1: would be. I don't know, but yeah, it's it's just

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Speaker 1: weird to me. And I want to have a whole

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Speaker 1: show about this because I want to go into real

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Speaker 1: butts versus the bbls, like people who have real asks

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Speaker 1: and have to deal with, you know, asks in real

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Speaker 1: life their whole life, like me, Yeah, exactly, I want

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Speaker 1: to I want to talk about that. That's me too, bitch.

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Speaker 1: I gotta asked the loot me, but I want to talk.

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Speaker 1: I want to have a whole episode about that because

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Speaker 1: you know, that wasn't the beauty standard at one point,

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Speaker 1: and what it seems now it's like y'all trying to

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Speaker 1: take it back to another standard. Well, we know that

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Speaker 1: black women have been in offices in school and it's

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Speaker 1: always deemed inappropriate for us to wear certain things because

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Speaker 1: of how our body shape. I went through that my

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Speaker 1: entire life. I can't help it, you know what I'm saying.

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Speaker 1: But it's sort of what we couldn't wear leggings in

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Speaker 1: high school, but the white girls could. I'm saying, yeah,

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Speaker 1: so like it would have to like you had to

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Speaker 1: be a certain inch from your knee for you to

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Speaker 1: wear it, and like I would feel like in school,

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Speaker 1: like white girls could wear short shorts in me and

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Speaker 1: not get in trouble. But if I did, I would

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Speaker 1: get in trouble. And then who's that's not your fault.

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Speaker 1: It's the grown men not looking at you that got

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Speaker 1: a problem with it, or it's the women that's reporting

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Speaker 1: it because the grown men, teachers, principal, whoever looking at you. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: that that is not a child's problem. Right, But for

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Speaker 1: whatever reason, black people can't just exist. We can't exist

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Speaker 1: in a way that everybody else exists without being seen,

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Speaker 1: you know, in a sexual way. You know, black women,

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Speaker 1: we just can't. So we're not seen as little girls.

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Speaker 1: We're always seen as adults. Are Black boys get seen

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Speaker 1: as adult men and it can literally be twelve year

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Speaker 1: old babies. Bas So, yeah, they're a band and in blackness, apparently,

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Speaker 1: I don't know, I've always made go head on with

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Speaker 1: your ass. I don't give listen exactly, gonna be just fine.

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Speaker 1: I've always made the joke that the Kardashians made it

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Speaker 1: okay for a little white girls, so like black boys.

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Speaker 1: I really feel like they helped push that agenda, right,

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Speaker 1: so maybe okay to like white men so we can

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Speaker 1: have our You only want that swag, girl, They always

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Speaker 1: everybody want that swag. Wait, speaking of the goddamn Kardashians,

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Speaker 1: Tristan boy, your boy, he just kneed. I'm just I

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Speaker 1: was proud of trusting, just for living in his truth.

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Speaker 1: At least be the whole that you always meant to be,

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Speaker 1: like you know you've been holding to stop doing it discreetly,

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Speaker 1: just be outside. Yes, man, listen, I don't know. I

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Speaker 1: do not feel bad for Chloe because you get them,

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Speaker 1: you keep them how you get them in. That's the

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Speaker 1: saying that man had a pregnant girlfriend at the time

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Speaker 1: when you quired him, right, Okay, so now they just

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Speaker 1: they have a baby on the way, They have a

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Speaker 1: boil in a way via surrogant. And this dude was

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Speaker 1: just out the country with another chick, just holding hands, chilling.

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Speaker 1: I mean, she looked like Chloe from the back. I

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Speaker 1: don't know, you gotta type or it could have been

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Speaker 1: damn Kim Kake like, this is the same look and

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Speaker 1: the way that Kim kardashi In is shading her sister

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Speaker 1: is were to me, have a conversation with Chloe. Let

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Speaker 1: her know that you do not want to be in

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Speaker 1: a committed relationship. This is the problem with some men,

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Speaker 1: like you can't sign women up for monogamy and no

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Speaker 1: that's not what you want. You can find somebody that

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Speaker 1: would be okay with whatever it is that you want

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Speaker 1: in a relationship. Do not trick people into monogamy. But girl,

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Speaker 1: she didn't get tricked because yeah, that man had a

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Speaker 1: woman when you got him, So Kim said, Girls can

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Speaker 1: see the difference between two hundred shades of new lipstick,

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Speaker 1: but they can't see red flags. You're talking to your sister.

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Speaker 1: She she's always shading Chloe. She is. I don't like that.

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Speaker 1: Don't do that to me. I would never do my

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Speaker 1: sister like that. I guess it's almost like, girl, you're

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Speaker 1: still being stupid, that's it. But but because y'all are

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Speaker 1: so public figures, don't embarrass your own sister like that.

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Speaker 1: She already embarrassed enough. I'm sure she is. You know,

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Speaker 1: do some crazy things and you love motherfucker. You'd be

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Speaker 1: putting up with ship that she wouldn't normally put up with,

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Speaker 1: So I do I you know, I sympathize with Chloe

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Speaker 1: a little bit in that aspect, but having your sister

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Speaker 1: being the one who helping to embarrass you on the internet,

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Speaker 1: I had to. I had to beat up Kim. I

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Speaker 1: had to go over and set her come outside him.

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Speaker 1: I want to talk to you real quick. I ain't

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Speaker 1: gonna do nothing. Do you think it's a situation where you, like,

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Speaker 1: maybe maybe Kim tried to because I can almost imagine

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Speaker 1: if I'm trying to tell you something about your dude

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Speaker 1: over and over and over again, and we know how

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Speaker 1: defensive women can be about their men. Okay, could it

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Speaker 1: be a situation where Chloe might have disrespected him? And now, Kim,

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Speaker 1: don't give a fuck. You don't disrespect me about this

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Speaker 1: dude who ain't never did you right at all? I

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Speaker 1: told your ass not to have another baby with him,

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Speaker 1: this and the third like and maybe not publicly, it's

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Speaker 1: the public aspect for me, yeah, because I'm already embarrassed

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Speaker 1: and now you're out here talking about two hundred shades

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Speaker 1: and new lipstick. Girl, I'll be to a at my house.

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Speaker 1: Shame because I'm gonna love you and we still assisted,

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Speaker 1: but we're gonna have to You're gonna have to catch

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Speaker 1: the faith though. Yeah, you're gonna catch these hands. So

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Speaker 1: y'all just then, f I I I showed today is

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Speaker 1: going to be about toxic relationships. We actually have a

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Speaker 1: toxic relationship therapist on He helps people break up within

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Speaker 1: thirty days. That's his job, all right, um, But there's

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Speaker 1: a video online it's this guy, so he is. His

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Speaker 1: name is Emory Andre Tate the Third. He's a four

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Speaker 1: time kickboxing world champion. I don't know if he saw it, Tam,

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Speaker 1: but it looks like he was doing like a podcast

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Speaker 1: or something. But he was asked, um, you know if

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Speaker 1: his girl um is allowed to go on girl's trips,

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Speaker 1: and he was like, absolutely not, because you know what,

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Speaker 1: I can't do anything if I'm not there. If a

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Speaker 1: man tries to sleep with you, your wore making gold,

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Speaker 1: she not go to the gas station, then she can't

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Speaker 1: go to the there's gonna be man trying to funk

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Speaker 1: all over her. D M S right now. It is

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Speaker 1: a man trying to suck her, like you gotta just

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Speaker 1: exactly all nine like that. He sounds like an in sale.

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Speaker 1: First you're at home on Instagram, it's a nigga still

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Speaker 1: trying to suck her like relax, like you just gotta

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Speaker 1: trust your girl. Like but I looked on his Instagram page.

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Speaker 1: If you go to the picture of him in the

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Speaker 1: orange shorts, you know, I can you know while you

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Speaker 1: staying home? That's what I means. No, I could. I

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Speaker 1: understand why he might be intimidated by her going outside

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Speaker 1: and getting fun by other people. Hold on orange shorts.

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Speaker 1: Wait wait, wait, oh, there's nothing there there, There's nothing there,

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Speaker 1: So I get it. Bro home. Look, my worst fair

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Speaker 1: is having a son who you don't have to be

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Speaker 1: like super well endowed, but like just having a son

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Speaker 1: who may grow up with a super I feel like

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Speaker 1: those guys have like insecurity issues and this guy is

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Speaker 1: definitely displaying that. And I don't want to have to

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Speaker 1: cleve with a son with insecurity issues because he played

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Speaker 1: football and he see everybody else junk now and now

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Speaker 1: he realizes his dick little. I don't want to deal

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Speaker 1: with it. But he's well, he looks like a wealthy man,

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Speaker 1: you know, he looks like he's well off. He gotta

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Speaker 1: be Yeah, okay, he gotta be rich. Now, some women

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Speaker 1: might like, you know a little things. We don't know

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Speaker 1: that man got a little bit based on that picture.

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Speaker 1: I don't want to just assume that I didn't see anything.

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Speaker 1: He gotta COUCHI I'm assuming he got a that's that nice.

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Speaker 1: You got gonna say that man gotta couch you. That's

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Speaker 1: a grown man. Girl. You can't tell me he punching

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Speaker 1: nobody in the face. This guy, he does, his energy

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Speaker 1: does give um. I'm gonna beat I'm gonna beat you up.

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Speaker 1: So I'm gonna because I want him to come see

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Speaker 1: about me. He's gonna get this motherfucker gonna get robbed

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Speaker 1: he comes see about me. That's that man. That's all.

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Speaker 1: I got a lot of the break going on. There's

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Speaker 1: a lot of ship going on. But that's it. Let's

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Speaker 1: gonna break and we'll be right back with our expert

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00:19:54,240 --> 00:19:58,359
Speaker 1: you guys on how to leave your toxic situation. All right,

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Speaker 1: we'll be right back. Listen, we gotta special guests on

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Speaker 1: we talked back this week. Okay, yeah, this is my

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Speaker 1: clubhouse friend, but he's also a toxic relationship. Uh specialist, Right,

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Speaker 1: So are you a relationship specialist. Who who's toxic or

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Speaker 1: you are you work with toxic relationships? Because I work

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Speaker 1: with toxic relationship but I've been called the toxic bay.

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Speaker 1: Toxic yeah, toxic bay. I don't know what that means,

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Speaker 1: but that's what some of my friends call me, women friends.

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Speaker 1: Sounds like exactly every nigger I ever dated was toxic bag.

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Speaker 1: So y'all listen. So Taylor, he's a former military police

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Speaker 1: veteran and US federal agent that has a decade worth

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Speaker 1: of responding to nine one one calls for domestic violence disputes. Okay,

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Speaker 1: Taylor has been uh taking his past experience and it's

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Speaker 1: now a world renowned relationship expert experts. Excuse me, y'all

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Speaker 1: know I can't read anyway. Helping men and women exit

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Speaker 1: toxic relationships, you know, and helping them find self love again,

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Speaker 1: because that's what it's all about, right when someone's mistreating

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Speaker 1: it's kind of an internal issue, that's dope. Listen, I

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Speaker 1: need some help now. I'm trying to stop being toxic

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Speaker 1: in relationships. Hey, let's do it. Let's do if you

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Speaker 1: get you help right now. So I got my first question.

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Speaker 1: If I'm dealing with a nigger who gives me a

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Speaker 1: lot of money, but he's for the streets. Should I

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Speaker 1: leave or should I stay? It depends on what you're

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Speaker 1: looking for, like like what like what is your ultimate goal?

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Speaker 1: Like like like like why are you attracted to this

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Speaker 1: due that's from the streets, Like what what does he

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Speaker 1: do to turn you on? Ah? He makes sure I'm

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Speaker 1: comfortable finance. Okay, So he's a provider. So so pretty much,

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Speaker 1: whether he's from the streets or not, provider is check

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Speaker 1: for you. Yeah, that's very important. That's not the most

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Speaker 1: important thing. I mean, it's it's very important, though, But

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Speaker 1: I would rather have somebody who was a provider that

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Speaker 1: wasn't for the streets. Okay, he's not, he's not my man,

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Speaker 1: you know what I'm saying. He everybody man so for

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Speaker 1: the streets, not in the streets, right yeah, okay, So, um,

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Speaker 1: but like I said, you can find guys that's out

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Speaker 1: there that are providers. Um, that's about their money, that's

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Speaker 1: about their money, and that would also be able to

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Speaker 1: to provide those things to you. Where they at there there,

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Speaker 1: they're there, they're there. Um, they're probably not in the clubs,

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Speaker 1: they're probably not on the corner. But you can find them,

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00:23:00,480 --> 00:23:04,960
Speaker 1: like at networking events, right, CEO events, Right, those guys

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00:23:05,000 --> 00:23:06,639
Speaker 1: that they're looking for a woman, they're looking for a

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Speaker 1: woman that can provide at the house, that can you know,

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Speaker 1: take care of kids, right, all that all that fantasy

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Speaker 1: stuff that y'all want, right, And these guys don't have

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00:23:14,680 --> 00:23:17,840
Speaker 1: the time and the ability to do that, right, And

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00:23:17,880 --> 00:23:19,760
Speaker 1: so they're looking for that woman that they can take

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Speaker 1: care of, right, and that could be a mother of

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00:23:23,440 --> 00:23:26,159
Speaker 1: your child or or what have you. So there's guys

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Speaker 1: out there. You just gotta position yourself and be in

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00:23:29,320 --> 00:23:35,040
Speaker 1: the right place to find those individuals. See see see

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Speaker 1: see a lot of the guys from the streets. I

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00:23:36,880 --> 00:23:41,920
Speaker 1: mean not he's not from the streets, he's right, But

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Speaker 1: we're definitely out where did those individuals hang out. So

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Speaker 1: I feel like I'm in the places where the same

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Speaker 1: guys you would meet, and you know, like a networking event,

401
00:23:52,680 --> 00:23:56,120
Speaker 1: it's the same guys the rids. I'm hanging out these

402
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Speaker 1: fancy places, I'm not. I mean I got to the

403
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Speaker 1: hood clubs too, every now, don't get it twisted. But

404
00:24:02,400 --> 00:24:07,240
Speaker 1: I definitely in those environments that you speak of. Go ahead,

405
00:24:07,840 --> 00:24:14,320
Speaker 1: and I think I meet decent men sometimes, but there's

406
00:24:14,440 --> 00:24:19,080
Speaker 1: there's usually something missing and and what and what is

407
00:24:19,119 --> 00:24:22,399
Speaker 1: that usual thing that's that that you're not able to

408
00:24:22,440 --> 00:24:30,600
Speaker 1: find um consistency And so there's a tradeoff oftentimes for

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00:24:31,720 --> 00:24:37,320
Speaker 1: the provisions. But what do you mean trade off? Like

410
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Speaker 1: if he's providing, if he's providing, what are you what

411
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Speaker 1: is he not then providing? If he's providing financially, then

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Speaker 1: what is he not providing? Well, he doesn't want commitment,

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00:24:50,200 --> 00:24:52,800
Speaker 1: that's the thing. That's like everything else is good. He

414
00:24:52,880 --> 00:24:54,520
Speaker 1: just doesn't want to come. He doesn't ever want to

415
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Speaker 1: be committed to anyone, well as far as the future whole,

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Speaker 1: cause he doesn't want commitment with anyone. He enjoys being

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Speaker 1: a single, successful man who can do whatever he wants.

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Speaker 1: And there's right, and and you're okay with that or

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Speaker 1: you're looking you're looking for commitment, right, Yeah, I mean

420
00:25:14,280 --> 00:25:19,080
Speaker 1: you're looking for because uncertainty, it's not it's not good, right,

421
00:25:19,119 --> 00:25:21,680
Speaker 1: we don't like the uncertainty. Right, one day you're here,

422
00:25:21,720 --> 00:25:24,200
Speaker 1: the next day you might be gone. But I think

423
00:25:24,240 --> 00:25:26,400
Speaker 1: that you can find that. I think that you can

424
00:25:26,440 --> 00:25:29,440
Speaker 1: find that. But it might not be in him, right, Oh,

425
00:25:29,440 --> 00:25:31,920
Speaker 1: it's definitely not. We already know. We already know that.

426
00:25:32,240 --> 00:25:34,639
Speaker 1: So this is why, this is why she's considering this

427
00:25:34,760 --> 00:25:39,760
Speaker 1: a toxic relationship. We jumped right into therapy. Bitch, wait

428
00:25:39,880 --> 00:25:44,840
Speaker 1: for your answer. But but but but but but that's

429
00:25:44,840 --> 00:25:47,320
Speaker 1: not toxic. That's not toxic. Just because he don't want

430
00:25:47,359 --> 00:25:50,840
Speaker 1: to commit, that doesn't mean that the person is toxic, right,

431
00:25:51,040 --> 00:25:52,879
Speaker 1: I think that. I think that he just don't want

432
00:25:52,920 --> 00:25:56,280
Speaker 1: to commit. He loves He's not the toxic one. It's

433
00:25:56,359 --> 00:26:00,640
Speaker 1: me because I'm in a relationship that I know does

434
00:26:00,680 --> 00:26:03,480
Speaker 1: not fulfill the things that I desire except for one thing,

435
00:26:03,680 --> 00:26:06,439
Speaker 1: you know, And that's why I'm staying, you know, And

436
00:26:06,440 --> 00:26:11,280
Speaker 1: it's the money. Yeah, yeah, Yeah, I don't think that.

437
00:26:11,920 --> 00:26:14,200
Speaker 1: I don't. I'm gonna be I'm gonna be honest, and

438
00:26:14,240 --> 00:26:15,880
Speaker 1: it might shock, it might shock a lot of people.

439
00:26:15,920 --> 00:26:20,120
Speaker 1: That's that's listening. I don't think that's toxic. And gonna

440
00:26:20,119 --> 00:26:22,879
Speaker 1: be honest with you. If you're if you're there for

441
00:26:22,920 --> 00:26:24,960
Speaker 1: the money, if you're there for the money, because this

442
00:26:25,000 --> 00:26:27,800
Speaker 1: person can provide. It's just like no different than somebody's

443
00:26:27,840 --> 00:26:30,560
Speaker 1: a listening here, and I know that I'll never get

444
00:26:30,600 --> 00:26:33,480
Speaker 1: with them. They're never gonna fulfill the rest of my

445
00:26:33,480 --> 00:26:36,520
Speaker 1: my dreams, But I love being in their presence. No,

446
00:26:37,119 --> 00:26:39,920
Speaker 1: you're you are. You were hanging out with this individual

447
00:26:40,320 --> 00:26:43,000
Speaker 1: knowing that you're not getting anything in return as far

448
00:26:43,040 --> 00:26:47,240
Speaker 1: as commitment or long term relationship. But he's providing for

449
00:26:47,280 --> 00:26:50,879
Speaker 1: you financially, and he's willing and doing that. You're not

450
00:26:50,920 --> 00:26:53,840
Speaker 1: holding a gun to his head. He's openly willing doing it.

451
00:26:54,040 --> 00:26:57,040
Speaker 1: I don't think there's anything wrong with that. There's no

452
00:26:57,080 --> 00:27:01,240
Speaker 1: one misleading, no one. Now, Now, if you if you're

453
00:27:01,320 --> 00:27:04,679
Speaker 1: in that situation and you were trying to make it

454
00:27:05,000 --> 00:27:08,919
Speaker 1: something else, then it could get it can get a

455
00:27:08,920 --> 00:27:12,439
Speaker 1: little toxic. But if you understand what it is and

456
00:27:12,480 --> 00:27:14,879
Speaker 1: he understand what it is, I think you guys have

457
00:27:15,160 --> 00:27:18,639
Speaker 1: a great arrangement. Partner. Yeah, but I want Yeah, I

458
00:27:18,640 --> 00:27:24,040
Speaker 1: mean it's working, it's it's working. So let's let's go

459
00:27:24,080 --> 00:27:27,320
Speaker 1: into what are some signs of a toxic relationship, like

460
00:27:27,320 --> 00:27:29,679
Speaker 1: a real toxic relationship. What does that look like for

461
00:27:29,720 --> 00:27:32,840
Speaker 1: some people? Oh my goodness, Well, I'm gonna give I'm

462
00:27:32,840 --> 00:27:35,480
Speaker 1: gonna give one of the one of the obvious signs.

463
00:27:35,480 --> 00:27:38,000
Speaker 1: And this is the this is the sign that encompassed

464
00:27:38,240 --> 00:27:42,000
Speaker 1: all the other signs. Right, it's when you're walking on eggshell,

465
00:27:42,160 --> 00:27:45,000
Speaker 1: it might see basically, remember I remember a young lady

466
00:27:45,080 --> 00:27:49,479
Speaker 1: told me that is so basic. Look like look look, look, look,

467
00:27:49,560 --> 00:27:52,240
Speaker 1: look walking on eggshell. If I was to rip, if

468
00:27:52,280 --> 00:27:54,720
Speaker 1: I was to peel that onion, you know what? You

469
00:27:54,800 --> 00:27:58,760
Speaker 1: know what? Being scared around an individual, you don't know

470
00:27:58,800 --> 00:28:00,680
Speaker 1: what to say. You don't know if the person is

471
00:28:00,680 --> 00:28:02,800
Speaker 1: gonna snap, You don't if the person is gonna hit

472
00:28:02,960 --> 00:28:05,399
Speaker 1: you. You You don't know what kind of moved that person in.

473
00:28:05,760 --> 00:28:09,560
Speaker 1: That is not fun, right, And it's like it's like

474
00:28:09,760 --> 00:28:12,719
Speaker 1: land mines. I always because I'm former military, it's like

475
00:28:12,840 --> 00:28:16,399
Speaker 1: walking around land mines. You don't want to piss the

476
00:28:16,440 --> 00:28:18,640
Speaker 1: person off. You don't want to slam the cabinet door.

477
00:28:18,640 --> 00:28:20,159
Speaker 1: If you don't want to slam the door because the

478
00:28:20,200 --> 00:28:23,560
Speaker 1: person might be quick to anger. Right. And so when

479
00:28:23,600 --> 00:28:26,680
Speaker 1: you feel nervous around an individual, whether at your job,

480
00:28:26,720 --> 00:28:30,320
Speaker 1: whether it's your significant other, you're in a toxic situation

481
00:28:30,640 --> 00:28:33,320
Speaker 1: because no one should be no one should make make

482
00:28:33,400 --> 00:28:37,080
Speaker 1: you feel nervous. That's number one, right, And you have

483
00:28:37,160 --> 00:28:40,760
Speaker 1: to really really find out the reason why am I nervous? Now,

484
00:28:40,960 --> 00:28:43,520
Speaker 1: if it's butterflies because you like the individual, that's a

485
00:28:43,520 --> 00:28:50,120
Speaker 1: different kind of toxicity. Right chemistry, but exactly. But if

486
00:28:50,120 --> 00:28:53,200
Speaker 1: they're making your heart beat and you're you're you're always

487
00:28:53,680 --> 00:28:58,240
Speaker 1: you know, your anxiety percent, your prompting, sweating, you're shaking,

488
00:28:59,480 --> 00:29:03,320
Speaker 1: that is that that that is horrible. And so that's

489
00:29:03,360 --> 00:29:07,480
Speaker 1: the major, the major obvious sign. Now there's other signs,

490
00:29:07,600 --> 00:29:11,520
Speaker 1: right financial you know, you hear you hear on on

491
00:29:12,080 --> 00:29:14,920
Speaker 1: on other platforms me and a j uh is on

492
00:29:15,160 --> 00:29:19,160
Speaker 1: that that you know, I I want a man that's

493
00:29:19,160 --> 00:29:23,880
Speaker 1: a provider, which tam you said that too, right, But

494
00:29:24,000 --> 00:29:27,920
Speaker 1: a lot of times those providers have the other person

495
00:29:28,200 --> 00:29:31,600
Speaker 1: so trapped in the palm of their hands that if

496
00:29:31,640 --> 00:29:35,640
Speaker 1: you even try to leave them, you can't because they're

497
00:29:35,640 --> 00:29:39,440
Speaker 1: controlling your credit card, They're controlling all the finances, the

498
00:29:39,520 --> 00:29:43,280
Speaker 1: check book, everything that comes in financially. They are the

499
00:29:43,360 --> 00:29:46,520
Speaker 1: gatekeeper to that because you are so used toul and

500
00:29:46,520 --> 00:29:50,440
Speaker 1: it said, sometimes it's a deception. You're so used to

501
00:29:50,480 --> 00:29:54,080
Speaker 1: going to daddy to get some money, right, and you

502
00:29:54,160 --> 00:29:56,120
Speaker 1: go and brag to your girls. Currently brought me, I

503
00:29:56,200 --> 00:30:00,120
Speaker 1: believe the time person taking some stilettos, some red bottoms. Know,

504
00:30:00,160 --> 00:30:03,440
Speaker 1: it feels good to be taken care of, it feels amazing,

505
00:30:03,880 --> 00:30:07,120
Speaker 1: But once you try to leave that situation because maybe

506
00:30:07,200 --> 00:30:11,320
Speaker 1: some abusiveness or mental abuse starts happening and he starts

507
00:30:11,320 --> 00:30:15,200
Speaker 1: shutting those things down where maybe he's paying your rent, girl,

508
00:30:15,280 --> 00:30:18,560
Speaker 1: he paying my rent when he stopped paying your rent,

509
00:30:18,640 --> 00:30:23,200
Speaker 1: now when he's right. So these are the things that

510
00:30:23,280 --> 00:30:25,840
Speaker 1: we need to really look for. But that's just like

511
00:30:25,880 --> 00:30:28,880
Speaker 1: I said, few signs of being at a toxic relationship.

512
00:30:29,760 --> 00:30:31,960
Speaker 1: I used to date a guy just like that when

513
00:30:32,000 --> 00:30:36,760
Speaker 1: I was living in Atlanta back in uh two thousand

514
00:30:37,200 --> 00:30:41,400
Speaker 1: seven or eight. I was in cosmetology school, and I

515
00:30:41,440 --> 00:30:43,280
Speaker 1: would have to lie to him, like if I asked

516
00:30:43,360 --> 00:30:46,400
Speaker 1: him for money to like pay tuition or for something

517
00:30:46,440 --> 00:30:49,160
Speaker 1: to better myself, he wouldn't give it to me. I

518
00:30:49,200 --> 00:30:51,600
Speaker 1: would have to ask for like bullshit and use it

519
00:30:51,640 --> 00:30:53,840
Speaker 1: to pay my tuition because if it was money to

520
00:30:53,920 --> 00:30:56,720
Speaker 1: do anything that would make me independent of him, he

521
00:30:56,760 --> 00:30:59,080
Speaker 1: would not give it to me. That ship was crazy.

522
00:30:59,160 --> 00:31:02,680
Speaker 1: And you say, yeah, I mean people do that all

523
00:31:02,720 --> 00:31:04,600
Speaker 1: the time. But like I said, a lot of times,

524
00:31:05,040 --> 00:31:08,160
Speaker 1: it's because the way how the world is going. And

525
00:31:08,880 --> 00:31:11,480
Speaker 1: and I'm and I'm gonna say this. What was popular

526
00:31:11,520 --> 00:31:14,680
Speaker 1: before the pandemic was I'm getting my bad girl, I'm

527
00:31:14,720 --> 00:31:17,920
Speaker 1: getting my bag, I'm getting my bag. I'm getting the bag. Okay,

528
00:31:18,160 --> 00:31:23,640
Speaker 1: pandemic happen. Business went under, and it's now I'm looking

529
00:31:23,720 --> 00:31:28,080
Speaker 1: for a man that provides, right so, so, so we

530
00:31:28,160 --> 00:31:30,440
Speaker 1: have the good guys that provides, and then we have

531
00:31:30,520 --> 00:31:34,400
Speaker 1: the bad guys that provides, like narcissists, right and so

532
00:31:34,680 --> 00:31:37,560
Speaker 1: and so they reel you in. Girl, I'm gonna take here.

533
00:31:37,720 --> 00:31:39,560
Speaker 1: You don't have to work, you don't have to do nothing.

534
00:31:39,800 --> 00:31:42,120
Speaker 1: I don't want a beautiful woman like you lifting a finger.

535
00:31:42,560 --> 00:31:45,400
Speaker 1: And they take you in and they whine and dine,

536
00:31:46,200 --> 00:31:48,920
Speaker 1: and not only that, you're around your girlfriends, and your

537
00:31:48,960 --> 00:31:52,680
Speaker 1: girlfriend's fall in love because they're charismatic, and the way

538
00:31:52,680 --> 00:31:57,840
Speaker 1: how they talk is so sexy, right, and so they

539
00:31:57,880 --> 00:32:00,560
Speaker 1: have and so they have so they have a way

540
00:32:00,600 --> 00:32:04,320
Speaker 1: of drawing people in. So here's the deal. When you

541
00:32:04,400 --> 00:32:07,400
Speaker 1: try to leave and you tell your girlfriends all the

542
00:32:07,440 --> 00:32:10,440
Speaker 1: horrible things this man has done to you, they can't

543
00:32:10,440 --> 00:32:15,440
Speaker 1: believe it because what they've been presented, it's not who

544
00:32:15,480 --> 00:32:17,920
Speaker 1: that person really is behind post worth. What if your

545
00:32:17,960 --> 00:32:24,520
Speaker 1: girlfriend your mama. That happens. Sometimes parents take the other

546
00:32:24,560 --> 00:32:27,800
Speaker 1: person's side and not your all kids side. Right, you know,

547
00:32:27,960 --> 00:32:31,440
Speaker 1: you just always trying to ruin things. Girl. You know, like, no,

548
00:32:31,960 --> 00:32:36,520
Speaker 1: a man gonna be a man that I hate. That's saying, right,

549
00:32:36,840 --> 00:32:38,720
Speaker 1: A man gonna be a man, you know, a happy

550
00:32:38,800 --> 00:32:42,640
Speaker 1: a happy wife, a happy life. No, I am going

551
00:32:42,720 --> 00:32:46,040
Speaker 1: through hell in this relationship. And I need some help.

552
00:32:46,920 --> 00:32:50,800
Speaker 1: I need some assistance. This person is mentally tearing me

553
00:32:50,880 --> 00:32:54,240
Speaker 1: down every single day saying that I'm stupid, I'm dumb,

554
00:32:54,840 --> 00:32:59,800
Speaker 1: I'm ugly, I'm fat. It happens everyday. So do you

555
00:32:59,800 --> 00:33:03,280
Speaker 1: think people could be like addicted to toxic relationships? Because

556
00:33:03,280 --> 00:33:05,720
Speaker 1: why does it always seem like it's so hard to leave.

557
00:33:05,800 --> 00:33:10,880
Speaker 1: It's like almost like some dope. Oh I believe that.

558
00:33:11,080 --> 00:33:14,800
Speaker 1: I believe because it's emotions. It's emotions, And believe it

559
00:33:14,920 --> 00:33:18,680
Speaker 1: or not, some people love pain. I can pay anybody

560
00:33:18,720 --> 00:33:23,680
Speaker 1: more than some. They love pain, whether it's physical pain. Right,

561
00:33:23,720 --> 00:33:25,760
Speaker 1: That's why they have that bondage and the whips and

562
00:33:25,800 --> 00:33:31,440
Speaker 1: all that stuff. No shame, but do those b DSM

563
00:33:31,680 --> 00:33:34,320
Speaker 1: those kind of pain? And then you have people that

564
00:33:34,480 --> 00:33:37,040
Speaker 1: love emotional pain. Now, I'm going to bring it close

565
00:33:37,080 --> 00:33:40,520
Speaker 1: to the home. When you're all were smaller, have you

566
00:33:40,640 --> 00:33:43,800
Speaker 1: listened to songs that made you cry? Yes? And you

567
00:33:43,800 --> 00:33:45,960
Speaker 1: know I always say that I'm not gonna let my

568
00:33:46,040 --> 00:33:48,320
Speaker 1: daughter listen to like Mary J. Blige, like bitch you

569
00:33:48,520 --> 00:33:51,920
Speaker 1: listening to No R and B. Because you internalize that stuff.

570
00:33:51,920 --> 00:33:54,120
Speaker 1: And you have seen those videos of those little girls

571
00:33:54,120 --> 00:33:56,040
Speaker 1: on Instagram and the car with day Mama, like all

572
00:33:56,120 --> 00:33:58,920
Speaker 1: emotion and the song singing it like why why do

573
00:33:58,960 --> 00:34:01,320
Speaker 1: you have those emotions? And you are a little girl.

574
00:34:02,120 --> 00:34:04,840
Speaker 1: So I feel like we internalize those things from little girls,

575
00:34:04,920 --> 00:34:07,360
Speaker 1: you know, like the herd and if he if he

576
00:34:07,400 --> 00:34:09,560
Speaker 1: likes you, that if he's hitting you at school, maybe

577
00:34:09,560 --> 00:34:13,120
Speaker 1: he likes you. So all these different little things. That

578
00:34:13,360 --> 00:34:15,000
Speaker 1: was the thing when you were a little girl, like

579
00:34:15,280 --> 00:34:17,440
Speaker 1: he just hitting you because he likes it. He's just

580
00:34:17,520 --> 00:34:20,920
Speaker 1: being mean to you because he likes exactly. And so

581
00:34:20,960 --> 00:34:25,279
Speaker 1: now we're like that. Ever, arrogant men who are oftentimes mean,

582
00:34:26,480 --> 00:34:29,040
Speaker 1: they may not be physically hitting you, but they mentally

583
00:34:29,440 --> 00:34:33,200
Speaker 1: they might abuse you no one. And I think that,

584
00:34:33,280 --> 00:34:35,840
Speaker 1: and I think that's why a lot of parents don't

585
00:34:35,920 --> 00:34:38,000
Speaker 1: hit their kids because a lot of times you're here

586
00:34:38,880 --> 00:34:40,680
Speaker 1: the reason why I'm doing this because I love you

587
00:34:40,719 --> 00:34:42,719
Speaker 1: and I don't want you to go down the wrong well.

588
00:34:42,800 --> 00:34:45,799
Speaker 1: So if you hit a child and tell the child

589
00:34:45,800 --> 00:34:48,480
Speaker 1: you're hitting them because you love them. Imagine when that

590
00:34:48,560 --> 00:34:53,000
Speaker 1: child reach an adult age and they get hit, it's

591
00:34:53,120 --> 00:34:56,800
Speaker 1: because remember things that we have grown up with stays

592
00:34:56,840 --> 00:34:59,000
Speaker 1: with us. You know, one thing that I can say,

593
00:34:59,000 --> 00:35:03,040
Speaker 1: I was the ever go to any person's home right

594
00:35:03,360 --> 00:35:08,960
Speaker 1: and the trash is almost at the rim. I'm I'm agitated,

595
00:35:09,600 --> 00:35:12,680
Speaker 1: I'm pacing. It does something to me and I'm hearing

596
00:35:12,680 --> 00:35:14,759
Speaker 1: my mom's voice because you usually yell at me telling

597
00:35:14,800 --> 00:35:17,560
Speaker 1: me to take the trash out, take that trash. I'll

598
00:35:17,560 --> 00:35:20,840
Speaker 1: take that trash, and that stuff have stuck with me today.

599
00:35:21,239 --> 00:35:25,719
Speaker 1: I cannot see a half full trash can tailor made

600
00:35:26,040 --> 00:35:30,520
Speaker 1: is taking your trash? Yea, yeah, y'all. Nigga said that

601
00:35:30,560 --> 00:35:32,560
Speaker 1: because they'll walk right past your trash can like I

602
00:35:32,600 --> 00:35:35,600
Speaker 1: just cooked. Figure, can you take the trash out right?

603
00:35:35,840 --> 00:35:38,279
Speaker 1: And you you take mine out right? Now? You need

604
00:35:38,320 --> 00:35:42,759
Speaker 1: to go out right. So these are the things that

605
00:35:42,760 --> 00:35:44,160
Speaker 1: we got to be careful of what we are instill

606
00:35:44,200 --> 00:35:47,000
Speaker 1: in our children, because they grow up to it and

607
00:35:47,000 --> 00:35:49,359
Speaker 1: it's traumatic for them, and we might think it's not.

608
00:35:50,040 --> 00:35:53,040
Speaker 1: You know, even if they're not being I think even

609
00:35:53,040 --> 00:35:55,239
Speaker 1: as an adult, even if you're not being hit, you

610
00:35:55,320 --> 00:35:57,279
Speaker 1: might feel that there's a problem with that, like you know,

611
00:35:57,400 --> 00:35:59,600
Speaker 1: we we we've heard that before. If he if he

612
00:35:59,640 --> 00:36:05,279
Speaker 1: doesn't at you, he don't love you, or and and

613
00:36:05,360 --> 00:36:07,360
Speaker 1: one other thing that I want to I want to

614
00:36:07,400 --> 00:36:10,440
Speaker 1: add to that too, um, is that even when it

615
00:36:10,480 --> 00:36:12,960
Speaker 1: comes to let's talk about it like like like the police,

616
00:36:13,800 --> 00:36:17,320
Speaker 1: we sometimes as as um you know, the black culture,

617
00:36:18,160 --> 00:36:22,319
Speaker 1: we use the police to scare our kids. If you

618
00:36:22,360 --> 00:36:24,000
Speaker 1: act up, I'm gonna get him. I'm gonna get him,

619
00:36:24,040 --> 00:36:25,680
Speaker 1: locked you up. I'm gonna get him, lock you up

620
00:36:25,719 --> 00:36:29,839
Speaker 1: now now, So so that kid is that that that

621
00:36:29,840 --> 00:36:31,719
Speaker 1: that that scene is embedded, I'm gonna get him to

622
00:36:31,719 --> 00:36:33,440
Speaker 1: lock you up. I'm getting locked him up. Be afraid,

623
00:36:33,480 --> 00:36:36,879
Speaker 1: be afraid, be afraid. What happens when your teenage son

624
00:36:37,000 --> 00:36:39,880
Speaker 1: is driving your car and get pulled over by the police.

625
00:36:39,880 --> 00:36:45,160
Speaker 1: He might not shot, he gonna run. You've don't terrorize

626
00:36:45,200 --> 00:36:48,839
Speaker 1: this kid saying that you're gonna threaten to lock him

627
00:36:48,920 --> 00:36:52,799
Speaker 1: up with the police. Right, but the police have also

628
00:36:52,880 --> 00:36:54,680
Speaker 1: done a good job in this country. You're scaring our

629
00:36:54,760 --> 00:36:58,160
Speaker 1: children to hundred no one, And I'm I would never

630
00:36:58,200 --> 00:37:04,520
Speaker 1: discount that. You're absolutely right, Um, yes, you're correct. They have. UM.

631
00:37:05,960 --> 00:37:10,040
Speaker 1: I just think that the teaching should be different. But

632
00:37:10,960 --> 00:37:14,520
Speaker 1: you know, the scarcity shouldn't be uh to like a

633
00:37:14,560 --> 00:37:16,320
Speaker 1: five year old that I'm gonna call the police to

634
00:37:16,400 --> 00:37:18,960
Speaker 1: lock you up, right, um. And I think when you

635
00:37:19,040 --> 00:37:21,840
Speaker 1: when that child gets older, the conversation needs to have

636
00:37:22,040 --> 00:37:24,080
Speaker 1: and I'm gonna bring it back to a toxic relationship.

637
00:37:24,160 --> 00:37:28,399
Speaker 1: I think a lot of times we don't have these conversations, right,

638
00:37:28,719 --> 00:37:31,000
Speaker 1: you know, we get we get kind of sidetracked because

639
00:37:31,000 --> 00:37:33,680
Speaker 1: of the looks. You know, oh man, she fine, you

640
00:37:33,719 --> 00:37:40,000
Speaker 1: know that girl boy or or the guy is fine,

641
00:37:40,040 --> 00:37:42,479
Speaker 1: or what have you? Or or he got a good job,

642
00:37:42,840 --> 00:37:45,919
Speaker 1: he got all these things, and the conversation kind of

643
00:37:46,719 --> 00:37:49,120
Speaker 1: it doesn't happen, right, It's like a lot of texting,

644
00:37:49,600 --> 00:37:51,759
Speaker 1: you know what I'm saying, Like, you know, I don't

645
00:37:51,800 --> 00:37:55,360
Speaker 1: I don't talk that much now here. Here's one toxic

646
00:37:55,880 --> 00:37:59,200
Speaker 1: situation if you meet a guy as a woman that

647
00:37:59,320 --> 00:38:04,759
Speaker 1: don't talk that much. That's why, Okay, when y'all have

648
00:38:04,800 --> 00:38:07,800
Speaker 1: a disagreement, you think he's gonna now start talking or

649
00:38:07,840 --> 00:38:12,120
Speaker 1: he's gonna be quiet, right, right, So you have to

650
00:38:12,239 --> 00:38:16,640
Speaker 1: understand what you want. What you want. Do you want

651
00:38:16,680 --> 00:38:23,920
Speaker 1: a person that communicates? You cannot date somebody that doesn't talk.

652
00:38:24,400 --> 00:38:26,520
Speaker 1: I'm scared of people who are don't talk really because

653
00:38:26,520 --> 00:38:28,120
Speaker 1: I mean, I don't like a man that's like a

654
00:38:28,160 --> 00:38:31,960
Speaker 1: super chatty patty. But I'm scared when you don't talk

655
00:38:32,000 --> 00:38:33,920
Speaker 1: because I feel like people who don't talk, they're just

656
00:38:33,960 --> 00:38:38,120
Speaker 1: looking around observing stuff to have a problem with. And

657
00:38:38,160 --> 00:38:40,680
Speaker 1: I've experienced that in my real life in a real relationship,

658
00:38:40,719 --> 00:38:43,400
Speaker 1: Like he didn't talk much. He would just observe people

659
00:38:43,400 --> 00:38:45,400
Speaker 1: and then say something to me about them later on.

660
00:38:46,320 --> 00:38:49,960
Speaker 1: You know, no, And I think you're right. I think

661
00:38:50,239 --> 00:38:52,560
Speaker 1: it could be missed. Because I had talked to somebody

662
00:38:52,760 --> 00:38:55,000
Speaker 1: that that that didn't talk. I didn't know what she

663
00:38:55,120 --> 00:38:58,120
Speaker 1: was thinking at any given time. I mean, she literally

664
00:38:58,200 --> 00:39:02,160
Speaker 1: drove me crazy because I always had to guess, and

665
00:39:02,239 --> 00:39:04,359
Speaker 1: she kept on telling me, Hey, you can ask me

666
00:39:04,400 --> 00:39:07,800
Speaker 1: if you if you're unsure, ask me what your demeanor

667
00:39:07,920 --> 00:39:12,239
Speaker 1: wasn't welcoming. I was scared to ask you why. I

668
00:39:12,239 --> 00:39:14,160
Speaker 1: don't ever want to feel like that. I want to

669
00:39:14,160 --> 00:39:16,759
Speaker 1: be able to ask you any question. You ask me

670
00:39:16,800 --> 00:39:20,040
Speaker 1: any question, even if it's stupid. I don't care, right,

671
00:39:20,080 --> 00:39:24,319
Speaker 1: because we have to communicate that comfort, that ability to

672
00:39:24,480 --> 00:39:27,920
Speaker 1: say something stupid. It might be dumb, but I am

673
00:39:28,080 --> 00:39:30,920
Speaker 1: I feel safe saying it to you because you're the

674
00:39:30,960 --> 00:39:33,560
Speaker 1: one that I want to spend my life with. Grow,

675
00:39:33,920 --> 00:39:37,759
Speaker 1: build right, And if anybody, if any if, if if,

676
00:39:37,840 --> 00:39:41,600
Speaker 1: if I'm gonna embarrass myself, it should be you. I'm

677
00:39:41,640 --> 00:39:44,520
Speaker 1: embarrassing myself in front of you, and I could be vulnerable.

678
00:39:45,280 --> 00:39:47,600
Speaker 1: And this is let me say this, this is the

679
00:39:47,680 --> 00:39:50,440
Speaker 1: reason why. And I'm gonna say this to the guys

680
00:39:50,480 --> 00:39:53,520
Speaker 1: because guys want to. You know, women always the always emotional,

681
00:39:53,520 --> 00:39:56,239
Speaker 1: and they always they always be revengeful. The reason why

682
00:39:56,320 --> 00:39:59,880
Speaker 1: these women are revengeful, it's not because the got cheated. Section.

683
00:40:00,480 --> 00:40:05,080
Speaker 1: It's not the cheating that that hurts. It's it's the deceit.

684
00:40:05,280 --> 00:40:08,040
Speaker 1: And it's the secret that you guys share in the

685
00:40:08,160 --> 00:40:12,200
Speaker 1: bedroom that that dude shared with another woman, and that

686
00:40:12,280 --> 00:40:16,480
Speaker 1: woman regurgitated to you when y'all connected to try to

687
00:40:16,520 --> 00:40:19,880
Speaker 1: match each other's story because he cheated, right, And so

688
00:40:19,960 --> 00:40:25,400
Speaker 1: when you hear that how he called her, I don't know, uh,

689
00:40:25,520 --> 00:40:31,879
Speaker 1: pooky girl, girl. He licked my butt too, girl, looking

690
00:40:31,880 --> 00:40:37,200
Speaker 1: at my butt just like he licks y'all. But so

691
00:40:37,280 --> 00:40:44,160
Speaker 1: you're just out here looking. But that's what hurts, because

692
00:40:44,239 --> 00:40:47,560
Speaker 1: that's something that you guys shared that's something that you

693
00:40:47,600 --> 00:40:50,320
Speaker 1: guys did and y'all made a bow and a promise

694
00:40:50,520 --> 00:40:53,359
Speaker 1: that this is our thing, and now you went out

695
00:40:53,400 --> 00:40:56,279
Speaker 1: here and did it with somebody else. And that's where

696
00:40:56,320 --> 00:40:58,520
Speaker 1: the anger comes from. That's when you want to kill

697
00:40:58,560 --> 00:41:04,080
Speaker 1: a motherfucker's you know, this is for that, exactly for that, right?

698
00:41:04,160 --> 00:41:08,040
Speaker 1: So yeah? So, I mean, I know we talked about

699
00:41:08,040 --> 00:41:12,080
Speaker 1: intimate relationships, but there's other types of toxic relationships. So

700
00:41:12,120 --> 00:41:19,320
Speaker 1: do you help people like with toxic relationships with their boss? Oh?

701
00:41:19,440 --> 00:41:21,640
Speaker 1: I love it. I mean I had some toxic boss.

702
00:41:21,640 --> 00:41:25,040
Speaker 1: I'm sure y'all have ran across some toxic and I

703
00:41:25,120 --> 00:41:31,640
Speaker 1: got a bit name in my freezer since I don't know, no,

704
00:41:31,800 --> 00:41:34,759
Speaker 1: A hundred and and and and and My thing is this,

705
00:41:35,239 --> 00:41:38,160
Speaker 1: it's not it's not talked to you. It's not help

706
00:41:38,280 --> 00:41:41,439
Speaker 1: people how to exit, because there's not all the time

707
00:41:41,520 --> 00:41:44,719
Speaker 1: you can just leave a job. You're paying bills, you're

708
00:41:44,760 --> 00:41:47,719
Speaker 1: providing for your family. You need the money. So how

709
00:41:47,760 --> 00:41:53,960
Speaker 1: do you navigate daily through that position with a toxic individual?

710
00:41:54,120 --> 00:41:57,040
Speaker 1: What about a family member that you have to be around?

711
00:41:57,160 --> 00:41:59,600
Speaker 1: What about it is your mama? What about a family

712
00:41:59,840 --> 00:42:03,560
Speaker 1: you union that this toxic person always say one thing,

713
00:42:03,920 --> 00:42:09,719
Speaker 1: and it destroys the mood. How do you navigate through that? Right?

714
00:42:09,800 --> 00:42:12,200
Speaker 1: And so these are the things that I helped people

715
00:42:12,760 --> 00:42:17,880
Speaker 1: um navigate their way through so they can go through life, because,

716
00:42:17,920 --> 00:42:21,040
Speaker 1: like I said, not everyone is able to cut people off.

717
00:42:21,400 --> 00:42:24,120
Speaker 1: I mean, you could cut your mama off, but I

718
00:42:24,120 --> 00:42:26,399
Speaker 1: wouldn't advise you to cut your mama off. I would

719
00:42:26,480 --> 00:42:31,200
Speaker 1: advise you to be strategic and know how to handle her, right.

720
00:42:31,280 --> 00:42:33,520
Speaker 1: And I shouldn't say handle her because people as they're like, uh,

721
00:42:34,440 --> 00:42:38,319
Speaker 1: know how to maneuver with her. It's like a Waltz. Right.

722
00:42:39,440 --> 00:42:41,560
Speaker 1: So what advice would you give someone that's in a

723
00:42:41,920 --> 00:42:45,480
Speaker 1: toxic work environment with their bosses? Like have you ever

724
00:42:45,480 --> 00:42:48,360
Speaker 1: seen that movie Sault and the lady was like clipping

725
00:42:48,400 --> 00:42:52,759
Speaker 1: the stapler in his ear every time? Like, like, what

726
00:42:52,840 --> 00:42:54,640
Speaker 1: do you do with with someone like that? What would

727
00:42:54,680 --> 00:42:58,120
Speaker 1: you advise them to do? Right? Well? What? Well? Number one,

728
00:42:58,160 --> 00:43:00,480
Speaker 1: I wouldn't advise them to be left a loan, right,

729
00:43:00,520 --> 00:43:02,399
Speaker 1: And we know that, right, especially if it's a woman

730
00:43:02,400 --> 00:43:04,680
Speaker 1: and the guy. Right. But I think that I think

731
00:43:04,719 --> 00:43:08,080
Speaker 1: that any kind of question that you're going to ask

732
00:43:08,080 --> 00:43:10,680
Speaker 1: your boss, do it in a in a team's kind

733
00:43:10,680 --> 00:43:13,799
Speaker 1: of setting, right, because you have your support, which you

734
00:43:13,880 --> 00:43:16,640
Speaker 1: other people is witnessed, right, because it's your word against

735
00:43:16,640 --> 00:43:18,759
Speaker 1: your manager, right, especially if you're trying to build it.

736
00:43:18,960 --> 00:43:20,799
Speaker 1: Let's just call it what it is, especially if you're

737
00:43:20,800 --> 00:43:23,879
Speaker 1: trying to build a case, right. Um. I think that

738
00:43:23,960 --> 00:43:27,080
Speaker 1: I think that eventually you would have to leave if

739
00:43:27,480 --> 00:43:30,280
Speaker 1: if you're not able to handle it, right, because that's

740
00:43:30,280 --> 00:43:34,359
Speaker 1: that's you're you're talking about somebody that's in authority over you, right,

741
00:43:34,640 --> 00:43:37,520
Speaker 1: that's making your life miserable. And I think it's different

742
00:43:37,560 --> 00:43:39,520
Speaker 1: when you have a friend of family member or a

743
00:43:39,600 --> 00:43:43,720
Speaker 1: boyfriend and when you have somebody that's over you now.

744
00:43:43,760 --> 00:43:46,440
Speaker 1: And that's why being in a relationship and that the

745
00:43:46,560 --> 00:43:50,040
Speaker 1: guy is or the woman, either one is the person

746
00:43:50,120 --> 00:43:54,440
Speaker 1: that's holding the money over you is dangerous, right, And

747
00:43:54,520 --> 00:43:56,480
Speaker 1: so I think that I think when it comes to

748
00:43:56,560 --> 00:43:58,960
Speaker 1: your boss, one thing that we have to understand, it's

749
00:43:59,000 --> 00:44:02,040
Speaker 1: emotional and eligence. Right. We have to be able to

750
00:44:02,080 --> 00:44:06,920
Speaker 1: control our emotion because we're angry. We're angry, we want

751
00:44:06,920 --> 00:44:10,239
Speaker 1: to cry. Sometimes we're shaking because they just piste us off.

752
00:44:10,719 --> 00:44:13,480
Speaker 1: And sometimes we feel powerless we want to fight, right,

753
00:44:13,640 --> 00:44:16,400
Speaker 1: So we have to be able to control that emotion.

754
00:44:16,680 --> 00:44:19,239
Speaker 1: And I'm gonna speak for us black people too, right,

755
00:44:19,360 --> 00:44:26,839
Speaker 1: especially black people. We're very expressive, like, yo, you can

756
00:44:26,920 --> 00:44:29,279
Speaker 1: just tell me something like I ain't gonna take this like,

757
00:44:29,440 --> 00:44:31,960
Speaker 1: we're very expressive. But the thing is you have to

758
00:44:32,000 --> 00:44:34,920
Speaker 1: be careful, So you have to bring that tone down, right.

759
00:44:35,239 --> 00:44:37,480
Speaker 1: We have to learn verbal judo, And that's what I

760
00:44:37,560 --> 00:44:41,360
Speaker 1: learned as a police officer, how to deescalate a situation

761
00:44:41,400 --> 00:44:44,880
Speaker 1: that's spiraling out of control. Sometimes it's the picture of

762
00:44:44,920 --> 00:44:48,800
Speaker 1: your voice. Right, if you really want somebody to listen

763
00:44:48,840 --> 00:44:53,520
Speaker 1: to you, bring it down to a monotone points and

764
00:44:53,600 --> 00:44:56,440
Speaker 1: people will listen to you. Right when you start yelling,

765
00:44:56,560 --> 00:45:00,719
Speaker 1: it's it's exciting exciting the other person, right, It's it's

766
00:45:00,760 --> 00:45:04,560
Speaker 1: making the other person, um really really excited too and

767
00:45:04,760 --> 00:45:07,560
Speaker 1: bringing their emotion um. So you have to be able

768
00:45:07,600 --> 00:45:09,920
Speaker 1: to kind of bring it down. And sometimes we're caught

769
00:45:09,960 --> 00:45:13,040
Speaker 1: up in the moment and we're not able to listen

770
00:45:13,080 --> 00:45:17,400
Speaker 1: to our conscious mind to retain ourselves. So what do

771
00:45:17,480 --> 00:45:20,239
Speaker 1: you do with Taylor made you take a bathroom break?

772
00:45:20,360 --> 00:45:24,279
Speaker 1: You might laugh, you might laugh, but I'm telling you,

773
00:45:24,320 --> 00:45:26,799
Speaker 1: when you're getting really heated and you feel like you

774
00:45:26,800 --> 00:45:29,399
Speaker 1: want to punch the person in the face, you have

775
00:45:29,520 --> 00:45:32,000
Speaker 1: to be able to walk away. How do you walk

776
00:45:32,000 --> 00:45:35,880
Speaker 1: away and still hold your dignity? Go to the bathroom

777
00:45:35,880 --> 00:45:38,759
Speaker 1: because and this is what what what it does. It

778
00:45:38,760 --> 00:45:40,919
Speaker 1: doesn't make you look like a punk because you gotta

779
00:45:40,960 --> 00:45:47,080
Speaker 1: pay right right, So so it doesn't and it kind

780
00:45:47,080 --> 00:45:50,480
Speaker 1: of psychologically trick your mind because it's not telling you

781
00:45:50,480 --> 00:45:53,759
Speaker 1: you walked away because you were scared, because sometimes your

782
00:45:53,800 --> 00:45:56,080
Speaker 1: mind kind of pushes you to right. But I ain't

783
00:45:56,080 --> 00:45:57,920
Speaker 1: gonna be no punk. I hold me on. But if

784
00:45:57,960 --> 00:46:01,279
Speaker 1: you go and take a bathroom break, I just need

785
00:46:01,320 --> 00:46:03,200
Speaker 1: to go to the bathroom. Just go to the bathroom,

786
00:46:03,239 --> 00:46:07,000
Speaker 1: angry and calm down, right, Just take a moment in

787
00:46:07,040 --> 00:46:11,960
Speaker 1: the bathroom, and then you'll have a different energy coming out, right,

788
00:46:12,160 --> 00:46:14,840
Speaker 1: but that yelling energy. And that's where a lot of

789
00:46:14,840 --> 00:46:18,000
Speaker 1: domestic violence happen, especially when a man and woman is

790
00:46:18,120 --> 00:46:21,399
Speaker 1: arguing and he's trying to leave the house and she

791
00:46:21,520 --> 00:46:23,440
Speaker 1: was where are you going? And she grabbed the keys.

792
00:46:25,400 --> 00:46:27,120
Speaker 1: Just let him he's trying, and let him go, and

793
00:46:27,160 --> 00:46:28,960
Speaker 1: she stands in front of the door. And this is

794
00:46:29,000 --> 00:46:31,680
Speaker 1: where the hit happens. I know it's this is graphic,

795
00:46:31,960 --> 00:46:34,000
Speaker 1: but it's when they're standing in front of the door

796
00:46:34,800 --> 00:46:37,560
Speaker 1: and they won't allow the man to leave, and he

797
00:46:37,719 --> 00:46:41,920
Speaker 1: bumps the woman, and once the bump happened or the

798
00:46:42,000 --> 00:46:50,479
Speaker 1: grabbing happen, that's assault. And that's where the domestic happen. Yeah, yeah, look,

799
00:46:50,560 --> 00:46:52,680
Speaker 1: I definitely done took it there. I ain't even gonna lie.

800
00:46:52,680 --> 00:46:56,960
Speaker 1: I've definitely been that person. Nigga, where you're going, I

801
00:46:56,960 --> 00:46:59,640
Speaker 1: don't know what you think you're going right now, I'm

802
00:46:59,719 --> 00:47:04,160
Speaker 1: lit really always the one trying to leave, and I

803
00:47:04,160 --> 00:47:06,279
Speaker 1: will take the I will take you walking out on

804
00:47:06,360 --> 00:47:10,239
Speaker 1: me as a sign of disrespect. And that's where to me, like,

805
00:47:10,320 --> 00:47:12,920
Speaker 1: I've literally been the one trying to leave and damnit

806
00:47:13,200 --> 00:47:15,720
Speaker 1: getting held hostage. So now I feel like an ape

807
00:47:15,760 --> 00:47:17,719
Speaker 1: in a fucking cage and I'm gonna do whatever I

808
00:47:17,760 --> 00:47:20,120
Speaker 1: gotta do to get out of here. So now it

809
00:47:20,160 --> 00:47:23,440
Speaker 1: gets really bad and really ugly because I feel like

810
00:47:23,480 --> 00:47:25,719
Speaker 1: if my man wanted to leave to calm down, I'm

811
00:47:25,760 --> 00:47:27,760
Speaker 1: gonna let him leave. I'm not gonna make that a problem.

812
00:47:27,800 --> 00:47:30,239
Speaker 1: I'm not taking the keys. I had a nigga hide

813
00:47:30,280 --> 00:47:33,080
Speaker 1: my keys and like I'll send a picture with my sperity,

814
00:47:33,160 --> 00:47:38,400
Speaker 1: like vibe it about. But in that moment, in that moment,

815
00:47:39,360 --> 00:47:42,640
Speaker 1: you're not feeling like they're leaving to calm down, or

816
00:47:42,719 --> 00:47:46,359
Speaker 1: maybe that's what's even if they feel like it felt

817
00:47:46,360 --> 00:47:48,239
Speaker 1: like you're not leaving the calm down. You feel like

818
00:47:48,280 --> 00:47:50,200
Speaker 1: you're leaving because you said what you had to say

819
00:47:50,200 --> 00:47:52,000
Speaker 1: and now I don't get to say what I need

820
00:47:52,000 --> 00:47:53,600
Speaker 1: to say. And I took it, and I take it

821
00:47:53,600 --> 00:47:57,040
Speaker 1: this disrespect instead of just trying to calm be calm

822
00:47:57,160 --> 00:48:00,920
Speaker 1: so we could have a have better communication. That's how

823
00:48:01,160 --> 00:48:05,759
Speaker 1: I have been No gohead now if you want to

824
00:48:05,800 --> 00:48:09,880
Speaker 1: leave care, that's how I got too old. I have

825
00:48:09,960 --> 00:48:13,360
Speaker 1: no energy for that ship. No more go ahead, no

826
00:48:16,080 --> 00:48:20,359
Speaker 1: no problem. I might be hearing going back. Right, even

827
00:48:20,360 --> 00:48:22,839
Speaker 1: when the pandemic happened, right, people wasn't able to really

828
00:48:22,920 --> 00:48:26,359
Speaker 1: leave right. So it's where how you work from home,

829
00:48:26,440 --> 00:48:30,399
Speaker 1: how you divide your house, right to go into another room? Right,

830
00:48:30,520 --> 00:48:32,839
Speaker 1: it's I mean, if you don't physically want to leave

831
00:48:32,880 --> 00:48:34,680
Speaker 1: the house, and if you know that the other person,

832
00:48:34,960 --> 00:48:38,920
Speaker 1: it hurts them when when when when they need you

833
00:48:39,000 --> 00:48:42,560
Speaker 1: the most? Some people is in an argument, they need

834
00:48:42,600 --> 00:48:45,600
Speaker 1: you the most. Right, they're hurt whatever or you might

835
00:48:45,600 --> 00:48:47,600
Speaker 1: have cheated, you might have said something to hurt their feelings.

836
00:48:47,600 --> 00:48:50,000
Speaker 1: They're going through some tough time and you walk out

837
00:48:50,000 --> 00:48:53,399
Speaker 1: in them. That sometimes can be devastated to some people, right,

838
00:48:53,960 --> 00:48:56,239
Speaker 1: or they might be dealing with some traumas back in

839
00:48:56,239 --> 00:48:58,440
Speaker 1: the past where their mother walked out and their father

840
00:48:58,520 --> 00:49:02,040
Speaker 1: walked out. Right. So, so, how do you the other person,

841
00:49:03,080 --> 00:49:07,279
Speaker 1: defuse the situation because by you staying there, there's arguing there,

842
00:49:07,880 --> 00:49:10,640
Speaker 1: and that's doing something to me though it's doing so

843
00:49:10,680 --> 00:49:13,799
Speaker 1: I understand your triggers and me walking out how it

844
00:49:13,880 --> 00:49:17,040
Speaker 1: may affect you because you have abandonment issues. But then

845
00:49:17,440 --> 00:49:19,800
Speaker 1: how do I navigate that because what you're doing is

846
00:49:19,840 --> 00:49:25,680
Speaker 1: hurting me so so so so can there be some compromise?

847
00:49:25,800 --> 00:49:31,840
Speaker 1: Maybe you don't leave the the house grounds go to

848
00:49:31,880 --> 00:49:34,480
Speaker 1: your That's why I always say I cannot live with

849
00:49:34,520 --> 00:49:36,480
Speaker 1: a man in like a one bedroom apartment. I don't

850
00:49:36,520 --> 00:49:38,000
Speaker 1: know how people do it. Like if we get into

851
00:49:38,040 --> 00:49:39,839
Speaker 1: an argument and you walk past me, I'm gonna trip

852
00:49:39,880 --> 00:49:43,239
Speaker 1: your ass up, Like, like I need you to be

853
00:49:43,320 --> 00:49:46,200
Speaker 1: able to get as far away from me as possible.

854
00:49:46,280 --> 00:49:49,080
Speaker 1: If we're not going to leave the premises, okay, and

855
00:49:49,120 --> 00:49:51,279
Speaker 1: if I don't, if I try to go into another room,

856
00:49:51,320 --> 00:49:54,000
Speaker 1: at least let me do that. Sometimes some people don't

857
00:49:54,040 --> 00:49:56,560
Speaker 1: even let you do that, they'll follow you. That's show.

858
00:49:57,000 --> 00:49:59,400
Speaker 1: That's show, and and and and that's why you have

859
00:49:59,440 --> 00:50:03,800
Speaker 1: to have that you toxic? Okay that in the beginning,

860
00:50:04,239 --> 00:50:09,040
Speaker 1: I admit that I have been toxic? Did you did?

861
00:50:11,239 --> 00:50:13,880
Speaker 1: I wanted you? Just don't want to be left alone,

862
00:50:13,920 --> 00:50:17,360
Speaker 1: that's all. She doesn't want to be loved. She wants

863
00:50:17,360 --> 00:50:21,480
Speaker 1: to be left alone at the same time, but I'm

864
00:50:21,480 --> 00:50:27,239
Speaker 1: a Gemini, chose okay, leave me then alone. But state like,

865
00:50:27,400 --> 00:50:35,680
Speaker 1: what right? No, y'all crazy? So look, can you tell

866
00:50:35,680 --> 00:50:37,919
Speaker 1: our listeners, like, what are some of the long term

867
00:50:38,160 --> 00:50:43,120
Speaker 1: psychological effects of having stayed in a toxic relationship too long?

868
00:50:43,960 --> 00:50:46,560
Speaker 1: You know, because many, many these days they talked about

869
00:50:46,560 --> 00:50:50,960
Speaker 1: the modern that the modern woman, the traditional women. Traditional

870
00:50:51,000 --> 00:50:55,160
Speaker 1: women stayed in toxic, toxic situations their whole lives, like

871
00:50:55,200 --> 00:50:59,400
Speaker 1: they literally exactly or they died old, but they sacrificed

872
00:50:59,440 --> 00:51:01,880
Speaker 1: their whole vibs for this husband and the children and

873
00:51:01,920 --> 00:51:04,080
Speaker 1: the grandchildren. You know what I'm saying, what's the quality

874
00:51:04,120 --> 00:51:07,319
Speaker 1: that's not a quality of life? Like the quit I

875
00:51:07,360 --> 00:51:09,359
Speaker 1: feel like they might die old, but they died ten

876
00:51:09,440 --> 00:51:11,640
Speaker 1: years younger than they were supposed to because of all

877
00:51:11,680 --> 00:51:16,600
Speaker 1: their stress and trauma's possible. They don't even know how

878
00:51:16,600 --> 00:51:18,600
Speaker 1: to have fun. They don't even know how to enjoy life.

879
00:51:18,920 --> 00:51:22,399
Speaker 1: And that's why sometimes you would see them acting kind

880
00:51:22,440 --> 00:51:25,120
Speaker 1: of awkward or kind of out of touch. You haven't

881
00:51:25,120 --> 00:51:27,000
Speaker 1: seen a person that's been married so long and they

882
00:51:27,000 --> 00:51:29,480
Speaker 1: don't even know how to even have a conversation with

883
00:51:29,520 --> 00:51:32,640
Speaker 1: a stranger, right, And I think that I think that

884
00:51:32,640 --> 00:51:35,200
Speaker 1: those are some of the things, right and you're you're, you're,

885
00:51:35,239 --> 00:51:39,520
Speaker 1: you're right, Um, they need to be able to It's

886
00:51:39,520 --> 00:51:43,120
Speaker 1: almost like they've been removed from society, the real world,

887
00:51:43,200 --> 00:51:44,879
Speaker 1: let's just call it what it is. They've been living

888
00:51:44,920 --> 00:51:48,040
Speaker 1: in their own world, whatever that world was, and so

889
00:51:48,080 --> 00:51:50,239
Speaker 1: now they're being introduced to the real world. And some

890
00:51:50,280 --> 00:51:53,680
Speaker 1: people are so it's they've been in this situation for

891
00:51:53,760 --> 00:51:56,960
Speaker 1: twenty years and a lot of things. It's not going

892
00:51:57,000 --> 00:51:59,680
Speaker 1: to change on their how they think and how they

893
00:51:59,719 --> 00:52:04,120
Speaker 1: pursu see, right, um, And so sometimes it takes time, right,

894
00:52:04,160 --> 00:52:06,600
Speaker 1: Sometimes it takes time. Sometimes it takes a lot of

895
00:52:07,840 --> 00:52:11,400
Speaker 1: activities and and going to see a therapist and what

896
00:52:11,520 --> 00:52:14,040
Speaker 1: have you. But I think, yes, can it be damaging

897
00:52:14,360 --> 00:52:19,920
Speaker 1: one because you're talking about somebody that's been trained a

898
00:52:19,960 --> 00:52:22,520
Speaker 1: certain way just like me being in the military. It

899
00:52:22,600 --> 00:52:24,400
Speaker 1: used to be a military, right, I've been trained a

900
00:52:24,440 --> 00:52:29,080
Speaker 1: certain way, and now you're telling me that, um, you

901
00:52:29,120 --> 00:52:32,880
Speaker 1: know marching is wrong. Well, we march in the military.

902
00:52:32,920 --> 00:52:34,600
Speaker 1: When you're talking about marchin is wrong. I've been doing

903
00:52:34,600 --> 00:52:38,399
Speaker 1: it for twenty years, right, That's all I know. So, no,

904
00:52:38,480 --> 00:52:41,120
Speaker 1: marchin is not wrong. But you're telling me there's another

905
00:52:41,160 --> 00:52:44,120
Speaker 1: way that you can walk, but I can't see that.

906
00:52:44,440 --> 00:52:47,920
Speaker 1: And that's where that's where sometimes the relationship becomes toxic,

907
00:52:47,960 --> 00:52:52,400
Speaker 1: because you're being in relationships with people that have preconceived

908
00:52:52,440 --> 00:52:57,080
Speaker 1: notions and have habits that you haven't even discussed with

909
00:52:57,160 --> 00:53:00,799
Speaker 1: the individual, and maybe sometimes you don't even know, and

910
00:53:00,840 --> 00:53:04,640
Speaker 1: then when you come together, there's a mismatch, there's issues,

911
00:53:04,840 --> 00:53:07,719
Speaker 1: there's drama. Oh my god, I don't know what I

912
00:53:07,719 --> 00:53:11,080
Speaker 1: got myself into. Well, and that's why we got to

913
00:53:11,120 --> 00:53:14,040
Speaker 1: ask these questions, right, And that's why now that we

914
00:53:14,120 --> 00:53:17,560
Speaker 1: know we know what toxicity is, we have an idea

915
00:53:17,840 --> 00:53:21,560
Speaker 1: what's toxic. There's no reason unless you're the toxic one.

916
00:53:22,080 --> 00:53:28,120
Speaker 1: Dam there's no reason why why you can't pick up

917
00:53:28,120 --> 00:53:31,400
Speaker 1: on some of these songs. It's out there. We know

918
00:53:31,560 --> 00:53:35,000
Speaker 1: it's out there. Yes, this person is showering me with money.

919
00:53:35,239 --> 00:53:38,600
Speaker 1: He's saying all these pretty and nice things. Right, I

920
00:53:38,640 --> 00:53:41,080
Speaker 1: need to know how he treats his friends, how he

921
00:53:41,160 --> 00:53:45,200
Speaker 1: treat his mother, how he treats the waiter, how he

922
00:53:45,239 --> 00:53:49,759
Speaker 1: treats another woman, right, how he treats me when he's

923
00:53:49,800 --> 00:53:53,040
Speaker 1: not in front of his family or his friends or

924
00:53:53,120 --> 00:53:56,840
Speaker 1: his boss. Because see, here's the thing. They'll treat you

925
00:53:56,920 --> 00:54:01,200
Speaker 1: amazing in public. Oh, they will wine and dining in public.

926
00:54:01,480 --> 00:54:03,160
Speaker 1: And as soon as you get in that car during

927
00:54:03,160 --> 00:54:08,560
Speaker 1: the door closes, you're a bit double backslap hit and

928
00:54:08,600 --> 00:54:10,440
Speaker 1: all kinds of things. Right, So we we gotta pick

929
00:54:10,520 --> 00:54:13,080
Speaker 1: up on these signs. And like I said, when you

930
00:54:13,120 --> 00:54:15,200
Speaker 1: go out on a date with an individual, look on

931
00:54:15,280 --> 00:54:18,040
Speaker 1: how he treats the waiter. If he's shitty with the

932
00:54:18,080 --> 00:54:22,640
Speaker 1: waitress for no reason, bing bing bing bing bing, that's

933
00:54:22,640 --> 00:54:29,720
Speaker 1: something you need to record. Yeah, right, because the actresses,

934
00:54:30,560 --> 00:54:32,719
Speaker 1: I don't want to eat with her. I don't know,

935
00:54:32,880 --> 00:54:35,279
Speaker 1: she's just so mean to service people. I don't even

936
00:54:35,280 --> 00:54:37,960
Speaker 1: like going out to eat with her sometimes, like, and

937
00:54:38,000 --> 00:54:39,840
Speaker 1: she's like, well, I work in the service industry and

938
00:54:39,840 --> 00:54:42,160
Speaker 1: I know good customer service, so it pisces me off

939
00:54:42,200 --> 00:54:47,000
Speaker 1: to see people doing half as job. I mean I

940
00:54:47,040 --> 00:54:50,000
Speaker 1: don't have to, that's true. I mean I could get that.

941
00:54:50,080 --> 00:54:53,799
Speaker 1: You know, I love customer service and and and and

942
00:54:53,840 --> 00:54:57,280
Speaker 1: I think that, but everybody does customer service differently, like

943
00:54:57,280 --> 00:55:00,000
Speaker 1: like you said, so, yeah, she might be a little hard,

944
00:55:00,280 --> 00:55:01,840
Speaker 1: you know, just like some people that are chefs and

945
00:55:01,840 --> 00:55:03,960
Speaker 1: stuff like that when they're eating. I wouldn't want to

946
00:55:04,000 --> 00:55:06,719
Speaker 1: go out to dinner with a chef if you're if

947
00:55:06,719 --> 00:55:09,680
Speaker 1: you're a chef, because you're gonna criticize the gravy, the food,

948
00:55:09,719 --> 00:55:15,640
Speaker 1: the chicken. I do, but I don't complain to the

949
00:55:15,719 --> 00:55:18,000
Speaker 1: to the to the waiter though I'll stow you. I

950
00:55:18,080 --> 00:55:21,440
Speaker 1: just I'm like one of those people who just quietly disappear. Okay,

951
00:55:21,760 --> 00:55:24,080
Speaker 1: I'm gonna tell my friends your ship is fucked up,

952
00:55:24,080 --> 00:55:26,600
Speaker 1: but I'm not going to like because I know how

953
00:55:26,600 --> 00:55:28,640
Speaker 1: it feels to get your day ruin. She could be

954
00:55:28,680 --> 00:55:31,080
Speaker 1: having a bad day like your waitress, right, and then

955
00:55:31,160 --> 00:55:33,239
Speaker 1: you just come say some slick ship and should be

956
00:55:33,280 --> 00:55:35,400
Speaker 1: back in you know, the back crying like I would

957
00:55:35,400 --> 00:55:36,759
Speaker 1: never I know what it feels like to be in

958
00:55:36,840 --> 00:55:41,120
Speaker 1: customer service, not necessarily like that type of service. But yeah,

959
00:55:41,560 --> 00:55:43,120
Speaker 1: so here's the thing. If I was to date to

960
00:55:43,280 --> 00:55:45,400
Speaker 1: a J and see this is this is just an

961
00:55:45,440 --> 00:55:47,600
Speaker 1: example I'm gonna put out there, if I was to

962
00:55:47,680 --> 00:55:49,600
Speaker 1: date to you number one, As a man, I have

963
00:55:49,719 --> 00:55:53,279
Speaker 1: to understand that if there's an area that you are

964
00:55:53,840 --> 00:55:57,479
Speaker 1: really good in and you know how a certain things

965
00:55:57,480 --> 00:56:00,040
Speaker 1: supposed to be and you I'm not gonna say you

966
00:56:00,080 --> 00:56:04,280
Speaker 1: are you are a critic of imperfection in that area.

967
00:56:04,920 --> 00:56:09,000
Speaker 1: I know that I need to not pick the restaurant. Okay,

968
00:56:09,160 --> 00:56:11,480
Speaker 1: I needed I need to. I'm not saying that I

969
00:56:11,480 --> 00:56:13,360
Speaker 1: won't pay, but I need to make you to be

970
00:56:13,400 --> 00:56:15,000
Speaker 1: the lead. So what I would say is, hey, ay J,

971
00:56:15,120 --> 00:56:17,040
Speaker 1: look I find you very attractive. I think you're an

972
00:56:17,040 --> 00:56:19,800
Speaker 1: amazing person. I want to get to know you more. Um,

973
00:56:19,960 --> 00:56:21,960
Speaker 1: do you have a favorite restaurant that you that you

974
00:56:22,000 --> 00:56:25,040
Speaker 1: go to, right? And then you and then so and so.

975
00:56:25,080 --> 00:56:28,360
Speaker 1: Now I'm taking you to your restaurant because that's what

976
00:56:28,440 --> 00:56:31,239
Speaker 1: you like. You know what the services right. But see

977
00:56:31,280 --> 00:56:33,880
Speaker 1: what a lot of times people do is they don't

978
00:56:33,880 --> 00:56:36,960
Speaker 1: do that right. They say, look, I'm gonna take you

979
00:56:37,000 --> 00:56:39,480
Speaker 1: to my restaurant because they think their restaurant is hot

980
00:56:39,480 --> 00:56:43,560
Speaker 1: ship right, And now you go to my restaurant and

981
00:56:43,680 --> 00:56:46,360
Speaker 1: now you're saying something about my gravy, which is my

982
00:56:46,440 --> 00:56:50,160
Speaker 1: favorite gravy. And my mama loved these guys to take

983
00:56:50,200 --> 00:56:52,239
Speaker 1: you to, so why we got a plastic for it? Right?

984
00:56:53,480 --> 00:56:56,480
Speaker 1: That's like guy's been taking their restaurants another woman I

985
00:56:56,520 --> 00:56:58,560
Speaker 1: introduced them to, Like, don't be taking me to some

986
00:56:58,680 --> 00:57:01,160
Speaker 1: subpart place, some sub aur bitch done had you at

987
00:57:02,120 --> 00:57:03,960
Speaker 1: because men never know what they want to eat. And

988
00:57:04,000 --> 00:57:06,120
Speaker 1: I always threatened dudes like when I started dating them,

989
00:57:06,160 --> 00:57:07,719
Speaker 1: like if I catch you, because I know where I

990
00:57:07,760 --> 00:57:09,600
Speaker 1: want to eat, right, so I'm always had like the

991
00:57:09,640 --> 00:57:12,319
Speaker 1: low place set up. If I catch you in a

992
00:57:12,440 --> 00:57:15,759
Speaker 1: place I introduce you to with another woman, I'm gonna

993
00:57:15,760 --> 00:57:18,960
Speaker 1: clear the motherfucker table in my forearm. Okay, it's not fair.

994
00:57:19,800 --> 00:57:23,720
Speaker 1: I'm a flipper. I've never done it right, But don't

995
00:57:23,760 --> 00:57:26,320
Speaker 1: be up in my place with somebody else. That's what

996
00:57:26,640 --> 00:57:28,280
Speaker 1: you know. Guys, be like, have you been here with

997
00:57:28,320 --> 00:57:31,160
Speaker 1: somebody already before? Yes, I've been all over this city

998
00:57:31,160 --> 00:57:33,800
Speaker 1: in every restaurant I like to eat, right, It's just

999
00:57:33,920 --> 00:57:36,360
Speaker 1: not fair where we're gonna go. There's nowhere left to go.

1000
00:57:36,440 --> 00:57:39,720
Speaker 1: I like to eat so and my things that that's

1001
00:57:39,760 --> 00:57:43,360
Speaker 1: usually comes from that that's usually comes from a little insecurity, right,

1002
00:57:43,400 --> 00:57:46,160
Speaker 1: and sometimes people just want to try something new that

1003
00:57:46,280 --> 00:57:50,280
Speaker 1: you guys can have your memory together. Look, somebody that's confident,

1004
00:57:50,320 --> 00:57:53,240
Speaker 1: let me tell you something. I'm you could call me cocky, whatever.

1005
00:57:53,600 --> 00:57:56,160
Speaker 1: I am so confident that I can take you to

1006
00:57:56,200 --> 00:57:58,600
Speaker 1: the same place that you was wine and dine with

1007
00:57:58,600 --> 00:58:01,480
Speaker 1: with another guy, and I can make you have a

1008
00:58:01,520 --> 00:58:04,960
Speaker 1: total different experience with me and memorable. I could care

1009
00:58:05,040 --> 00:58:07,680
Speaker 1: less about if you went with ten different dudes to

1010
00:58:07,760 --> 00:58:11,880
Speaker 1: the same restaurants. All right, Taylor, let that's how it

1011
00:58:11,880 --> 00:58:16,680
Speaker 1: should be, Taylor, I hear you, because my thing is this, right,

1012
00:58:16,720 --> 00:58:20,840
Speaker 1: everybody experience is different. You're not gonna have the same experience.

1013
00:58:21,080 --> 00:58:24,640
Speaker 1: And so, like I said, people that's what kind of insecure.

1014
00:58:24,920 --> 00:58:28,960
Speaker 1: And maybe they don't know if they're, you know, a

1015
00:58:29,160 --> 00:58:31,880
Speaker 1: ten above the person that you had the experience with,

1016
00:58:32,120 --> 00:58:34,160
Speaker 1: so they're kind of thinking, I wonder what they did.

1017
00:58:34,200 --> 00:58:36,040
Speaker 1: I wanted she had a better time with him or her,

1018
00:58:36,520 --> 00:58:39,160
Speaker 1: what have you? Like we were worried about the wrong things.

1019
00:58:39,520 --> 00:58:42,000
Speaker 1: We need to be focused on you. Like, like I said,

1020
00:58:42,080 --> 00:58:44,480
Speaker 1: I can overshadow the experience that you had with that

1021
00:58:44,560 --> 00:58:47,720
Speaker 1: other person. I could care less. You know what I'm saying,

1022
00:58:47,800 --> 00:58:50,880
Speaker 1: that's clearly it wasn't all that you have to eat

1023
00:58:50,880 --> 00:58:54,120
Speaker 1: with me today, right, So that would be considered like

1024
00:58:54,160 --> 00:58:58,240
Speaker 1: a red flag toxic. If somebody's like always asking about

1025
00:58:58,320 --> 00:59:01,280
Speaker 1: previous relationships, I want to know how many people you've

1026
00:59:01,320 --> 00:59:07,200
Speaker 1: been with? Oh, don't ask those questions. Don't ask those questions.

1027
00:59:07,280 --> 00:59:13,040
Speaker 1: Who cares? Some men care? Some men care? That is

1028
00:59:13,160 --> 00:59:15,240
Speaker 1: that is, don't don't like that. That is the most

1029
00:59:15,280 --> 00:59:16,960
Speaker 1: I don't not want to know how many how many

1030
00:59:16,960 --> 00:59:23,640
Speaker 1: men you've been with, but it's irrelevant to me. It's

1031
00:59:23,640 --> 00:59:26,520
Speaker 1: irrelevant to me what that has to do with me.

1032
00:59:27,000 --> 00:59:29,640
Speaker 1: Okay you've been with one guy, Oh you don't have

1033
00:59:29,680 --> 00:59:32,800
Speaker 1: no experience. Okay, you've been with twenty guys. Oh you've

1034
00:59:32,800 --> 00:59:38,720
Speaker 1: got too many bodies. Come on, you want exactly so, No,

1035
00:59:38,960 --> 00:59:41,280
Speaker 1: you don't need to know it. It's not irrelevant. Let's

1036
00:59:41,480 --> 00:59:43,400
Speaker 1: let's get to know each other from here. Now. You

1037
00:59:43,440 --> 00:59:45,920
Speaker 1: might want to know some things of my pastor you

1038
00:59:46,080 --> 00:59:48,640
Speaker 1: like if I have a child, right, you might want

1039
00:59:48,680 --> 00:59:50,680
Speaker 1: to know, like you know what's your child like and

1040
00:59:50,720 --> 00:59:53,320
Speaker 1: how what type of father you are? Those things are

1041
00:59:53,400 --> 00:59:56,000
Speaker 1: are different and important. How many people I dated have

1042
00:59:56,040 --> 00:59:58,160
Speaker 1: nothing to do with you. Vice versa. As long as

1043
00:59:58,200 --> 01:00:01,640
Speaker 1: it's none of my friends, I don't care, right if

1044
01:00:01,640 --> 01:00:03,560
Speaker 1: you suck them, if you suck my friend, it's kind

1045
01:00:03,560 --> 01:00:06,000
Speaker 1: of like, well, I mean, I don't know if I

1046
01:00:06,040 --> 01:00:08,040
Speaker 1: want to be serious with you, we might get but

1047
01:00:08,120 --> 01:00:14,880
Speaker 1: I don't know. Yo, but see, but but but but

1048
01:00:14,880 --> 01:00:16,640
Speaker 1: but here's the thing, and just say y'all niggas, no,

1049
01:00:16,720 --> 01:00:21,000
Speaker 1: y'all be passed around to go ahead. But it takes

1050
01:00:21,040 --> 01:00:23,400
Speaker 1: it takes a true person to come and let you know,

1051
01:00:23,600 --> 01:00:26,760
Speaker 1: because they don't have to say anything. A true person

1052
01:00:26,800 --> 01:00:29,640
Speaker 1: and let you know. Hey, look, your friend, we we

1053
01:00:29,800 --> 01:00:32,840
Speaker 1: talked like six months ago or two years. Well maybe

1054
01:00:32,840 --> 01:00:34,200
Speaker 1: not six months ago, that might be too soon, but

1055
01:00:34,320 --> 01:00:36,680
Speaker 1: like three years ago, whatever it was in the past year.

1056
01:00:36,720 --> 01:00:39,040
Speaker 1: We had six one time and that was it, right,

1057
01:00:39,080 --> 01:00:42,440
Speaker 1: I mean that right there. I respect that. Then you're

1058
01:00:42,480 --> 01:00:45,120
Speaker 1: not telling me at all. And and it depends how

1059
01:00:45,160 --> 01:00:47,680
Speaker 1: you tell me. Don't be telling me like the sex

1060
01:00:47,920 --> 01:00:51,720
Speaker 1: was the bomb dot com because we're gonna have some problems. Okay, no,

1061
01:00:51,960 --> 01:00:55,960
Speaker 1: it ain't. So what if you're with somebody, right and

1062
01:00:56,000 --> 01:00:58,720
Speaker 1: they find out that at some point in your life

1063
01:00:58,920 --> 01:01:04,440
Speaker 1: you dated like a distant relative, supposed distant relative, there's right,

1064
01:01:05,080 --> 01:01:08,200
Speaker 1: and the relative knows that you're with this guy now, right,

1065
01:01:08,840 --> 01:01:11,320
Speaker 1: but you didn't disclose it to your current guy, Like

1066
01:01:11,640 --> 01:01:14,560
Speaker 1: this is a twelve year old relationship from way back when,

1067
01:01:14,920 --> 01:01:16,840
Speaker 1: and I didn't feel like I needed to to let

1068
01:01:16,880 --> 01:01:19,080
Speaker 1: you know when we got together. You know what I'm saying.

1069
01:01:19,080 --> 01:01:21,120
Speaker 1: You can't even tell me his mama's name. So is

1070
01:01:21,120 --> 01:01:25,440
Speaker 1: that really your cousin? Like? Am I wrong for not

1071
01:01:25,520 --> 01:01:28,200
Speaker 1: disclosing that information? Could that be seen as being toxic?

1072
01:01:30,280 --> 01:01:34,960
Speaker 1: Are creating a toxic situation? Yeah? I think that. I

1073
01:01:35,000 --> 01:01:38,000
Speaker 1: think that. Um, you know, there's certain things that you

1074
01:01:38,080 --> 01:01:44,520
Speaker 1: take to your grave as long as that grave unwrapfle like, okay,

1075
01:01:44,560 --> 01:01:48,000
Speaker 1: so he will that dug the grave up? He dug

1076
01:01:48,160 --> 01:01:50,360
Speaker 1: the grave up. It's not like somebody told him. He

1077
01:01:50,480 --> 01:01:54,040
Speaker 1: literally dug the grave up. The nigger went through my

1078
01:01:54,120 --> 01:01:58,480
Speaker 1: Facebook twelve years back, so I didn't even know you

1079
01:01:58,520 --> 01:02:01,840
Speaker 1: existed at the time. So because you're snooping that hard,

1080
01:02:02,560 --> 01:02:05,080
Speaker 1: you see an argument between me and a woman in

1081
01:02:05,120 --> 01:02:11,439
Speaker 1: regarding this guy, right, who happens to be somebody you know, Yeah,

1082
01:02:11,520 --> 01:02:14,800
Speaker 1: but that's not that nigger cousin. You don't even know

1083
01:02:14,880 --> 01:02:18,080
Speaker 1: if his family like that, Like, so you can't even pinpoint,

1084
01:02:18,080 --> 01:02:22,760
Speaker 1: how y'all are even cousins. You're just saying that. You're

1085
01:02:22,760 --> 01:02:24,520
Speaker 1: just trying to say that to make me feel bad,

1086
01:02:24,680 --> 01:02:28,720
Speaker 1: Like that's toxic to me. And I think some people

1087
01:02:30,160 --> 01:02:33,600
Speaker 1: some people do that, right, Some people just do that.

1088
01:02:33,760 --> 01:02:36,800
Speaker 1: Like say, for instance, you might apologize to somebody, right,

1089
01:02:36,880 --> 01:02:39,320
Speaker 1: y'all have an argument. Y'all apologize somebody, but they won't

1090
01:02:39,400 --> 01:02:43,520
Speaker 1: let it go, like you apologize, but they won't let

1091
01:02:43,560 --> 01:02:46,920
Speaker 1: it go. And they love that argument back and forth,

1092
01:02:47,440 --> 01:02:51,360
Speaker 1: like that pain going, that yelling, that strife, like they

1093
01:02:51,440 --> 01:02:53,640
Speaker 1: love that stuff. So, yeah, you're right. Sometimes some people

1094
01:02:53,680 --> 01:02:57,280
Speaker 1: just want to create something that's not really there because

1095
01:02:57,320 --> 01:03:04,920
Speaker 1: either they know some people do. I gotta work on

1096
01:03:04,960 --> 01:03:08,120
Speaker 1: myself because I'll be doing that too, not not to

1097
01:03:08,240 --> 01:03:11,400
Speaker 1: like just fight, but so I used to like pick

1098
01:03:11,440 --> 01:03:14,080
Speaker 1: a little fight so we could have like angry sex

1099
01:03:15,640 --> 01:03:18,560
Speaker 1: and that's it. I know. But it used to be

1100
01:03:18,640 --> 01:03:21,680
Speaker 1: so good. I know, I know. But my thing is this,

1101
01:03:22,080 --> 01:03:26,160
Speaker 1: why can't y'all role play angry? It's not the same.

1102
01:03:28,240 --> 01:03:31,400
Speaker 1: It's not the same. And Nick ain't pushing your head

1103
01:03:31,400 --> 01:03:38,560
Speaker 1: into that pillow the same. You ain't find the right niggers.

1104
01:03:43,040 --> 01:03:46,240
Speaker 1: But but but yeah, yeah, I mean, yeah, a lot

1105
01:03:46,280 --> 01:03:48,320
Speaker 1: of people do that, right, They want to have that

1106
01:03:48,320 --> 01:03:55,000
Speaker 1: that that that that it's a pay as it is,

1107
01:03:55,160 --> 01:04:00,560
Speaker 1: and I think that's, um, it's not healthy. It's really

1108
01:04:00,560 --> 01:04:03,720
Speaker 1: not I know, because the thing is is that then

1109
01:04:03,880 --> 01:04:05,720
Speaker 1: because now you're hooked on that, and so if the

1110
01:04:05,800 --> 01:04:10,880
Speaker 1: person don't make you feel that way, um, then then yeah,

1111
01:04:10,960 --> 01:04:14,120
Speaker 1: you start poking buttons, right, and you start doing things

1112
01:04:14,120 --> 01:04:16,040
Speaker 1: to make this person mad. I remember one girl told me,

1113
01:04:16,200 --> 01:04:18,280
Speaker 1: she goes, I never saw you angry. I want to

1114
01:04:18,280 --> 01:04:21,959
Speaker 1: see you angry. Why why do you want to see

1115
01:04:22,000 --> 01:04:25,480
Speaker 1: me mad? I think it's important to see a person

1116
01:04:25,480 --> 01:04:28,560
Speaker 1: mad before you marry them. True, true, But you don't.

1117
01:04:28,920 --> 01:04:31,440
Speaker 1: Let's do it again. Can we not have an organic

1118
01:04:31,600 --> 01:04:37,000
Speaker 1: argument then? Exactly? Like, don't create something just to see

1119
01:04:37,080 --> 01:04:41,400
Speaker 1: because that should can backfire. Like I feel triggered right now. Okay,

1120
01:04:41,440 --> 01:04:44,800
Speaker 1: I feel like really triggered just thinking about times where

1121
01:04:44,840 --> 01:04:48,600
Speaker 1: I was chilling and motherfucker could come home and just

1122
01:04:48,680 --> 01:04:51,800
Speaker 1: change the whole aura, and it's it takes a long

1123
01:04:51,960 --> 01:04:54,680
Speaker 1: time to get over that type of thing. Like, So

1124
01:04:55,560 --> 01:04:58,960
Speaker 1: another question I had was like, how, um do you

1125
01:04:59,040 --> 01:05:02,440
Speaker 1: really even recover from a toxic relationship? Because we're having

1126
01:05:02,440 --> 01:05:05,360
Speaker 1: this conversation and I don't got triggered, like I know,

1127
01:05:05,480 --> 01:05:09,960
Speaker 1: my honest okay, like how do you and win? Like

1128
01:05:10,040 --> 01:05:12,240
Speaker 1: it's gonna take me a long time because even like

1129
01:05:13,600 --> 01:05:18,560
Speaker 1: y h yeah, no you you, you will always have

1130
01:05:18,600 --> 01:05:21,160
Speaker 1: those triggers. There's no different than It's no different than

1131
01:05:21,200 --> 01:05:25,040
Speaker 1: a cologne um that you with, this guy that you

1132
01:05:25,120 --> 01:05:27,080
Speaker 1: felt that was tall and fine and stuff of that.

1133
01:05:27,120 --> 01:05:28,880
Speaker 1: And when you smell it, you can smell it ten

1134
01:05:28,960 --> 01:05:31,720
Speaker 1: years later, twenty years later, it still brings you back

1135
01:05:31,760 --> 01:05:35,240
Speaker 1: to that place. Right, whether it's a song that you hear,

1136
01:05:35,560 --> 01:05:37,720
Speaker 1: man I remember and it brings you. So we're we're

1137
01:05:38,120 --> 01:05:41,200
Speaker 1: so we have triggers in our lives, whether good triggers

1138
01:05:41,240 --> 01:05:44,160
Speaker 1: are bad triggers, right, And I think that, yes, you'll

1139
01:05:44,200 --> 01:05:48,600
Speaker 1: always have that trigger. But what makes you an overcomer

1140
01:05:49,040 --> 01:05:53,040
Speaker 1: is to be able to control it. Right, it's because

1141
01:05:53,120 --> 01:05:55,840
Speaker 1: so so so how do you control the trigger. I'm

1142
01:05:55,840 --> 01:05:57,760
Speaker 1: gonna be honest. I'm gonna be honest with you. It's

1143
01:05:57,840 --> 01:06:02,840
Speaker 1: kind of bad. It's to sit in it. So so

1144
01:06:02,840 --> 01:06:05,840
Speaker 1: so like like like right now you're feeling triggered, right,

1145
01:06:07,040 --> 01:06:10,360
Speaker 1: you want to run, you so, so if you run,

1146
01:06:10,400 --> 01:06:13,760
Speaker 1: you're not facing it, right, So, so now you sit

1147
01:06:13,800 --> 01:06:15,560
Speaker 1: in it, right and so, but but it's more to

1148
01:06:15,640 --> 01:06:17,320
Speaker 1: than just sitting there. You don't know if they're like okay,

1149
01:06:17,320 --> 01:06:19,560
Speaker 1: tailor man, I'm just gonna sit in it. Okay, beat

1150
01:06:19,560 --> 01:06:23,320
Speaker 1: me up. No, So now we have to have a conversation,

1151
01:06:23,360 --> 01:06:26,680
Speaker 1: and that's where an expert comes in, right, a therapist

1152
01:06:26,720 --> 01:06:31,000
Speaker 1: comes in professionally, because now we have to understand why

1153
01:06:31,040 --> 01:06:33,600
Speaker 1: do you feel that way? And there that we go

1154
01:06:33,680 --> 01:06:36,640
Speaker 1: down that y pack, why do you feel that way way?

1155
01:06:36,640 --> 01:06:39,800
Speaker 1: I feel that way because this is the situation that

1156
01:06:39,840 --> 01:06:43,760
Speaker 1: I was in. Well how come you was in that situation?

1157
01:06:43,840 --> 01:06:46,920
Speaker 1: Because I need to hear what happened right, And a

1158
01:06:46,960 --> 01:06:51,960
Speaker 1: lot of times people are not um uh forthcoming and

1159
01:06:52,040 --> 01:06:57,040
Speaker 1: telling you what they tell you the part that they know, right,

1160
01:06:57,280 --> 01:06:58,920
Speaker 1: But when somebody's trying to help you, they need to

1161
01:06:58,960 --> 01:07:02,360
Speaker 1: know the full orient. Sometimes we ask these why questions

1162
01:07:02,520 --> 01:07:04,160
Speaker 1: and it seems like we're going down a rabbit hole,

1163
01:07:04,560 --> 01:07:08,200
Speaker 1: but it pulls out a lot out of a person. So, yeah,

1164
01:07:08,240 --> 01:07:10,760
Speaker 1: you have to find out why do you feel that way?

1165
01:07:10,960 --> 01:07:15,040
Speaker 1: And when do you feel that way? Right? Um, when

1166
01:07:15,120 --> 01:07:19,000
Speaker 1: this happened, I feel that way right, and so um

1167
01:07:19,200 --> 01:07:21,680
Speaker 1: and then and then and then once we get that

1168
01:07:21,720 --> 01:07:24,200
Speaker 1: because that's a soft spot right. Now, we got the

1169
01:07:24,280 --> 01:07:28,080
Speaker 1: heart right, and now we got to heal it right.

1170
01:07:28,120 --> 01:07:30,680
Speaker 1: And how do you heal How do you heal it

1171
01:07:31,320 --> 01:07:36,040
Speaker 1: by doing therapy right, massage in it right, making you

1172
01:07:36,320 --> 01:07:39,320
Speaker 1: make getting you there. And that's why there's techniques that

1173
01:07:39,520 --> 01:07:42,520
Speaker 1: license therapists do to get you there, to get you

1174
01:07:42,640 --> 01:07:46,120
Speaker 1: right right, like right there where your emotions is so

1175
01:07:46,240 --> 01:07:50,600
Speaker 1: high and it's able to kind of like kind of

1176
01:07:50,680 --> 01:07:53,840
Speaker 1: like men the wound when you're at that top. See

1177
01:07:53,880 --> 01:07:57,880
Speaker 1: if your friends do it and you're right, you can explode,

1178
01:07:57,920 --> 01:08:00,640
Speaker 1: man and be damaged. That's why you don't quote it

1179
01:08:00,680 --> 01:08:04,680
Speaker 1: your friends because I'll tell this. I'll tell the same

1180
01:08:04,720 --> 01:08:08,320
Speaker 1: story to five different friends, and I'm just re victimizing

1181
01:08:08,360 --> 01:08:11,200
Speaker 1: my own self every single time, Like it's just like

1182
01:08:11,240 --> 01:08:12,880
Speaker 1: a world press to a girl. Let me tell you

1183
01:08:12,960 --> 01:08:14,840
Speaker 1: what this nigga did. I gotta tell the same couple

1184
01:08:14,840 --> 01:08:17,200
Speaker 1: of people that I tell every time, the same thing.

1185
01:08:19,080 --> 01:08:22,760
Speaker 1: Like I'm working on that. Yeah, So so we're gonna

1186
01:08:22,760 --> 01:08:28,640
Speaker 1: get you to just tell one person or maybe me,

1187
01:08:29,000 --> 01:08:31,959
Speaker 1: maybe two people, Me and somebody and you and the listeners.

1188
01:08:32,400 --> 01:08:38,160
Speaker 1: Let me tell you what happened. Hold On, Taylor, were

1189
01:08:38,200 --> 01:08:40,000
Speaker 1: you in the room the other night when that guy

1190
01:08:40,080 --> 01:08:42,640
Speaker 1: came in there and called me uh. He came in

1191
01:08:42,800 --> 01:08:46,960
Speaker 1: randomly and he called me um, not deceitful. He called

1192
01:08:47,000 --> 01:08:54,080
Speaker 1: me um ah, he said I was devious. Were you there? No?

1193
01:08:54,280 --> 01:08:57,800
Speaker 1: I was not there. Oh why did he call you that? Though?

1194
01:08:57,840 --> 01:09:01,880
Speaker 1: It was random? So we're in the clubhouse, little uh

1195
01:09:02,000 --> 01:09:04,240
Speaker 1: and this ties into what we're talking about kind of, right.

1196
01:09:04,760 --> 01:09:07,519
Speaker 1: So we're in a in a clubhouse, little um social room.

1197
01:09:07,560 --> 01:09:08,960
Speaker 1: So there's only a couple of us in there. I

1198
01:09:08,960 --> 01:09:12,240
Speaker 1: thought Taylor was in there, but I wasn't even looking

1199
01:09:12,280 --> 01:09:13,920
Speaker 1: at the phone at the time, Like I literally had

1200
01:09:13,960 --> 01:09:15,600
Speaker 1: it off of mute and I just had it on

1201
01:09:15,640 --> 01:09:18,320
Speaker 1: the bed. So all of a sudden, I'm talking and

1202
01:09:18,360 --> 01:09:20,760
Speaker 1: I hear somebody said, you're you devious. I'm like what,

1203
01:09:21,160 --> 01:09:24,559
Speaker 1: So I go to the phone like, I'm like, who

1204
01:09:24,560 --> 01:09:28,559
Speaker 1: who is that? So it's some sixties seven year old man. Right,

1205
01:09:29,120 --> 01:09:31,200
Speaker 1: So now we're we're in there talking about men and

1206
01:09:31,200 --> 01:09:33,439
Speaker 1: how women are being treated out in the world and

1207
01:09:33,520 --> 01:09:36,759
Speaker 1: on this app right, and here we have a prime

1208
01:09:36,800 --> 01:09:40,519
Speaker 1: example of how men feel away and then they then

1209
01:09:40,640 --> 01:09:43,640
Speaker 1: started abusing. It could be a random woman, or it

1210
01:09:43,640 --> 01:09:47,280
Speaker 1: could be the woman in your life. Because you're feeling away.

1211
01:09:47,320 --> 01:09:49,599
Speaker 1: So my friend was like, you know, why did you

1212
01:09:49,640 --> 01:09:51,240
Speaker 1: come in here like that? He was like, well, you know,

1213
01:09:51,520 --> 01:09:54,400
Speaker 1: I'm I'm hurt and I just lost two wives recently.

1214
01:09:54,680 --> 01:09:58,640
Speaker 1: So he lost his ex wife and his uh, his

1215
01:09:58,880 --> 01:10:03,080
Speaker 1: current wife right in the last couple of months. So

1216
01:10:03,120 --> 01:10:06,639
Speaker 1: now you're hurting, so you turn around and come on

1217
01:10:06,680 --> 01:10:09,640
Speaker 1: the internet to hurt a random person. And all I

1218
01:10:09,680 --> 01:10:13,559
Speaker 1: could think was that these two women are gone. It's

1219
01:10:13,600 --> 01:10:17,040
Speaker 1: really rare for men to outlive wives, right, I feel

1220
01:10:17,040 --> 01:10:19,559
Speaker 1: like because they usually say married women live longer. I mean,

1221
01:10:19,600 --> 01:10:25,560
Speaker 1: excuse me, single women live longer. Married women actually die earlier,

1222
01:10:25,640 --> 01:10:29,639
Speaker 1: but they um. But there's what is married men live longer, right,

1223
01:10:30,120 --> 01:10:33,240
Speaker 1: So he's married. He probably stressed these two women out

1224
01:10:34,400 --> 01:10:37,280
Speaker 1: their whole fucking marriages, Like the who their whole lives.

1225
01:10:37,280 --> 01:10:39,439
Speaker 1: He probably stressed them out because they're this random ass

1226
01:10:39,520 --> 01:10:46,799
Speaker 1: person stressing me out on the fucking internet. So that's toxic. Toxic,

1227
01:10:47,280 --> 01:10:50,439
Speaker 1: It is toxic, and I think that people like I said,

1228
01:10:50,479 --> 01:10:52,800
Speaker 1: they're not going to get help, right, So guess who

1229
01:10:52,880 --> 01:10:56,439
Speaker 1: they unload on? People like me and you and and

1230
01:10:56,560 --> 01:11:01,040
Speaker 1: the people that are listening in that area app conversation

1231
01:11:01,680 --> 01:11:04,040
Speaker 1: yea or or people that I love them, right, because

1232
01:11:04,080 --> 01:11:08,160
Speaker 1: the usually the closer, the closer, um you are, um

1233
01:11:08,160 --> 01:11:09,960
Speaker 1: to the person, that's the person that you tend to

1234
01:11:10,000 --> 01:11:13,719
Speaker 1: unload under on. So you know, it's it's really sad

1235
01:11:13,760 --> 01:11:15,719
Speaker 1: and these people like he needs to go and get

1236
01:11:15,800 --> 01:11:20,280
Speaker 1: some some help. He do. He's lost two women in

1237
01:11:20,360 --> 01:11:23,639
Speaker 1: his life, two women that's that he has spent his time,

1238
01:11:23,720 --> 01:11:26,920
Speaker 1: his life, he's built with in his life. Um, and

1239
01:11:26,960 --> 01:11:30,439
Speaker 1: he's not okay, right and so and that's a prime

1240
01:11:30,520 --> 01:11:32,680
Speaker 1: example and that and that's the result of it what

1241
01:11:32,800 --> 01:11:36,960
Speaker 1: he did. So, Um, it's it's very it's serious, it's serious.

1242
01:11:36,960 --> 01:11:39,240
Speaker 1: But we don't go get help. We don't. We think

1243
01:11:39,280 --> 01:11:43,479
Speaker 1: we can cure ourselves. We think we're the curer. We

1244
01:11:43,560 --> 01:11:46,800
Speaker 1: are the cure of our own soul. Right, And I

1245
01:11:46,840 --> 01:11:50,280
Speaker 1: really do believe in doctors, medical doctors, and I believe

1246
01:11:50,320 --> 01:11:51,920
Speaker 1: that we need to We need to do it for

1247
01:11:51,960 --> 01:11:57,200
Speaker 1: ourselves and our freedom, right and our kids. Yeah, yeah,

1248
01:11:57,200 --> 01:12:00,040
Speaker 1: this is deep stuff. Y'all. Listen, we're gonna take a

1249
01:12:00,080 --> 01:12:09,080
Speaker 1: break right quick. You'll be right back. We'll be right back. Oh, Taylor,

1250
01:12:10,240 --> 01:12:15,320
Speaker 1: can you share a story for our SIMP series? Boy,

1251
01:12:15,400 --> 01:12:24,720
Speaker 1: there's no real easy way to say this, So I

1252
01:12:24,720 --> 01:12:27,280
Speaker 1: don't know if a j told you about Dumb Bitch

1253
01:12:27,280 --> 01:12:29,880
Speaker 1: and Simp series, but it's the time you get to

1254
01:12:29,920 --> 01:12:32,600
Speaker 1: share a story of where a woman has tried to

1255
01:12:32,720 --> 01:12:36,639
Speaker 1: play you or tried to like do something. He got one.

1256
01:12:36,680 --> 01:12:39,479
Speaker 1: Look at his face. He got one. He got made

1257
01:12:39,520 --> 01:12:49,280
Speaker 1: it Taylors. He got to this position. Um. I think

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01:12:49,280 --> 01:12:51,000
Speaker 1: the one that I could think of off handis that

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01:12:52,040 --> 01:12:56,000
Speaker 1: I went, I mean, it's okay. I went out with

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01:12:56,080 --> 01:12:58,519
Speaker 1: a young lady and she said that she wasn't comfortable

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01:12:58,560 --> 01:13:01,640
Speaker 1: going out by herself. Um, so she invited her girlfriend

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01:13:01,680 --> 01:13:03,920
Speaker 1: with with with her us, and I agreed to it,

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01:13:04,040 --> 01:13:07,160
Speaker 1: so you know I agree, So it's you know, it's fair.

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01:13:07,800 --> 01:13:09,360
Speaker 1: So she brought her girlfriend out. I didn't know her

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01:13:09,360 --> 01:13:11,640
Speaker 1: girlfriend was gonna sit at the table with us. Her

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01:13:11,680 --> 01:13:15,360
Speaker 1: her friend ordered food for her friend didn't pay. I

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01:13:16,000 --> 01:13:19,080
Speaker 1: pay for everybody I paid. I let the bill sit there.

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01:13:19,160 --> 01:13:21,360
Speaker 1: I let the bill sit there for about thirty minutes,

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01:13:21,600 --> 01:13:23,320
Speaker 1: and I'm in my head and I'm like, I'm gonna

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01:13:23,320 --> 01:13:25,320
Speaker 1: see how long this bill is gonna sit here before

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01:13:25,320 --> 01:13:28,200
Speaker 1: the friend offered to pay. See the guy that I

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01:13:28,240 --> 01:13:32,519
Speaker 1: am today, I wish I was back then because I

1273
01:13:32,520 --> 01:13:34,080
Speaker 1: would have called the way and I would have said, hey,

1274
01:13:34,120 --> 01:13:37,040
Speaker 1: can I have switched checks please? I'm paying for this

1275
01:13:37,120 --> 01:13:41,360
Speaker 1: young lady. And she said, but I wasn't bold enough then.

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01:13:41,920 --> 01:13:45,240
Speaker 1: I was. I'm still a nice guy. But I was

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01:13:45,320 --> 01:13:49,439
Speaker 1: overly nice then. But I paid for it all, and uh,

1278
01:13:49,560 --> 01:13:50,960
Speaker 1: it was a big turn off. I never went out

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01:13:50,960 --> 01:13:53,120
Speaker 1: with her again. She's like, oh, let's meet up for coffee.

1280
01:13:53,120 --> 01:13:58,160
Speaker 1: Now I'm not interested. So if I alright, maybe not

1281
01:13:58,240 --> 01:14:00,519
Speaker 1: on the first obviously, like when I'm just getting to

1282
01:14:00,520 --> 01:14:04,040
Speaker 1: know a guy, I wouldn't necessarily invite my friends along

1283
01:14:04,240 --> 01:14:09,839
Speaker 1: to run up the check. But after if we're dating.

1284
01:14:10,400 --> 01:14:12,840
Speaker 1: And I asked him, my best friend come and as

1285
01:14:12,920 --> 01:14:15,280
Speaker 1: she said, yes, I expect you to pay for her

1286
01:14:15,280 --> 01:14:24,080
Speaker 1: tamp too. Yeah, Oh is that bad? Is that bad?

1287
01:14:25,040 --> 01:14:30,719
Speaker 1: I think I think that who that's that's a that's

1288
01:14:30,800 --> 01:14:36,240
Speaker 1: a I think that the expectations have to be talked about.

1289
01:14:36,479 --> 01:14:38,920
Speaker 1: I really do. I think I changed my name the

1290
01:14:38,960 --> 01:14:43,080
Speaker 1: toxic Tammy, you know. I think I think that if

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01:14:43,120 --> 01:14:46,479
Speaker 1: he if he, if he offers great, I think if

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01:14:47,320 --> 01:14:50,240
Speaker 1: you can't, you can't invite your girlfriend and let's see

1293
01:14:50,240 --> 01:14:55,080
Speaker 1: and and here's the thing. Before those things transpired, he

1294
01:14:55,120 --> 01:14:57,320
Speaker 1: should know who you are. He should know that, Hey,

1295
01:14:57,360 --> 01:14:59,720
Speaker 1: if you invite your girlfriend, you're paying for me and

1296
01:14:59,800 --> 01:15:03,120
Speaker 1: my girlfriend, right, So he wouldn't even accept the in fight.

1297
01:15:03,200 --> 01:15:05,599
Speaker 1: He wouldn't even go down that path. So I think

1298
01:15:05,600 --> 01:15:07,280
Speaker 1: that you just have to find a person that you

1299
01:15:07,360 --> 01:15:10,080
Speaker 1: have that talk with and if they agree to it,

1300
01:15:10,160 --> 01:15:12,280
Speaker 1: then cool, like no hard feelings. I'm not saying that's

1301
01:15:12,320 --> 01:15:14,920
Speaker 1: a bad thing. I'm not saying you're toxic. Um, but

1302
01:15:15,040 --> 01:15:17,880
Speaker 1: I think that, uh, I think that like somebody that's

1303
01:15:17,880 --> 01:15:20,759
Speaker 1: not used to that. Um, it could be like whoa,

1304
01:15:21,120 --> 01:15:24,560
Speaker 1: she's just trying to get over, right, but but but

1305
01:15:24,560 --> 01:15:26,000
Speaker 1: but but but it wouldn't be you trying to get

1306
01:15:26,040 --> 01:15:28,599
Speaker 1: over because y'all have a relationship. Right, it's more than

1307
01:15:28,680 --> 01:15:32,800
Speaker 1: just the initial date. Um. But I don't know, because

1308
01:15:32,800 --> 01:15:34,720
Speaker 1: I'm gonna be honest with you, I might feel some

1309
01:15:34,800 --> 01:15:36,600
Speaker 1: kind of way for your friend, your friends trying to

1310
01:15:36,640 --> 01:15:42,439
Speaker 1: get a free ride. Nah nah, night, that's the thing

1311
01:15:43,360 --> 01:15:49,720
Speaker 1: some like night. It's just something because my friend had

1312
01:15:49,720 --> 01:15:51,960
Speaker 1: a piece of sam and now she got a fun. Right.

1313
01:15:53,000 --> 01:15:57,880
Speaker 1: But but girls, she can help you something. Don't don't

1314
01:15:57,920 --> 01:16:01,519
Speaker 1: get it twisted twisted. Your friend might like that guy

1315
01:16:01,680 --> 01:16:09,120
Speaker 1: that's the provider. That's that's why she wanted to. That's why. Yeah,

1316
01:16:09,439 --> 01:16:11,680
Speaker 1: they might be like, you know what I like and

1317
01:16:11,720 --> 01:16:17,800
Speaker 1: then let me let this exactly my friends girl by

1318
01:16:19,680 --> 01:16:22,320
Speaker 1: bit you one of my friends tell my girl right,

1319
01:16:22,880 --> 01:16:29,240
Speaker 1: not mean? Okay, So you know that's that's all the pens, right,

1320
01:16:29,360 --> 01:16:35,679
Speaker 1: it all depends. Yeah, all right, Taylor, this is great. Okay, Yeah,

1321
01:16:35,720 --> 01:16:38,760
Speaker 1: this is amazing. I need to get back with you

1322
01:16:38,800 --> 01:16:45,040
Speaker 1: and like I need to iron out some ship. Yeah. Yeah,

1323
01:16:45,240 --> 01:16:46,840
Speaker 1: I think a lot of things that I did share

1324
01:16:46,880 --> 01:16:50,360
Speaker 1: today I am better then. Like a lot of that

1325
01:16:50,360 --> 01:16:52,360
Speaker 1: stuff is like old stuff, Like I wouldn't pick a

1326
01:16:52,360 --> 01:16:54,840
Speaker 1: fight the fun no more, Like that's just too much.

1327
01:16:54,880 --> 01:16:57,200
Speaker 1: It takes too much energy to come up with a

1328
01:16:57,200 --> 01:17:01,160
Speaker 1: reason to get mad about something, honestly. But that's probably

1329
01:17:01,160 --> 01:17:02,960
Speaker 1: the only thing I don't do anymore out of all

1330
01:17:03,000 --> 01:17:06,120
Speaker 1: the things. So, but but I got a question for you,

1331
01:17:06,320 --> 01:17:08,320
Speaker 1: But do you know do you do? You think you

1332
01:17:08,400 --> 01:17:13,000
Speaker 1: do it subconsciously? Though you think? Do you think that

1333
01:17:13,200 --> 01:17:16,559
Speaker 1: fights happen and yeah, and then it results in good sex.

1334
01:17:16,720 --> 01:17:20,519
Speaker 1: But you didn't purposely pick it. But maybe subconsciously you

1335
01:17:20,640 --> 01:17:27,160
Speaker 1: created it. Mm hmmm. I don't know. That's very possible.

1336
01:17:27,200 --> 01:17:29,040
Speaker 1: I haven't even thought about that. I know that I

1337
01:17:29,080 --> 01:17:32,519
Speaker 1: don't like, come up with some ship to start so

1338
01:17:32,600 --> 01:17:34,519
Speaker 1: we can have good sex. I don't do that anymore.

1339
01:17:34,560 --> 01:17:37,759
Speaker 1: Like now, if it happens, yeah, I don't do that anymore.

1340
01:17:37,760 --> 01:17:40,639
Speaker 1: It's just a it takes too much time. Okay, time

1341
01:17:40,720 --> 01:17:44,120
Speaker 1: is money at this point. So all right, Taylor, listen,

1342
01:17:44,240 --> 01:17:47,800
Speaker 1: plug all your ship, plug your social plug. Where can

1343
01:17:47,960 --> 01:17:51,040
Speaker 1: listeners find you if they want to? You know, partake

1344
01:17:51,120 --> 01:17:57,040
Speaker 1: and said, uh toxic relationship therapy. Yeah, so I'm on

1345
01:17:57,080 --> 01:18:03,680
Speaker 1: all over social media platforms Facebook, um, I G Twitter, UM.

1346
01:18:03,760 --> 01:18:06,880
Speaker 1: I also have a podcast you can listen to. Um

1347
01:18:06,880 --> 01:18:11,479
Speaker 1: tailor made speaks dot com. It's my website. You can

1348
01:18:11,520 --> 01:18:14,680
Speaker 1: find me there. Um. And on the I G. I

1349
01:18:14,680 --> 01:18:18,240
Speaker 1: think I'm gonna change that real to some uh non

1350
01:18:18,560 --> 01:18:21,000
Speaker 1: uh toxic women. I want. I want to get some

1351
01:18:21,240 --> 01:18:24,200
Speaker 1: good women out there, and I be the toxic person

1352
01:18:24,520 --> 01:18:26,559
Speaker 1: off for once. So I think I'm gonna I'm gonna

1353
01:18:26,640 --> 01:18:31,040
Speaker 1: change the kind of flow with that because my reals

1354
01:18:31,080 --> 01:18:35,120
Speaker 1: be portraying toxic women. Let me find out your Tyler

1355
01:18:35,200 --> 01:18:42,120
Speaker 1: Perry on goddamn Instagram tylitary love for trade of toxic

1356
01:18:42,200 --> 01:18:47,640
Speaker 1: Black women. Y'all, oh man, listen, we really enjoyed you

1357
01:18:47,680 --> 01:18:51,320
Speaker 1: for pulling up. I enjoyed you all. Appreciate you. Thank

1358
01:18:51,360 --> 01:18:55,120
Speaker 1: you all so much. Thank you, y'all listen, hold on,

1359
01:18:55,160 --> 01:18:57,920
Speaker 1: don't hang up yet, Taylor. Listen, guys, and you enjoyed

1360
01:18:57,960 --> 01:19:00,920
Speaker 1: this episode. If you enjoyed this episode, guys, please tune

1361
01:19:00,920 --> 01:19:03,360
Speaker 1: in every Thursday on an I Heart Radio Apple wherever

1362
01:19:03,360 --> 01:19:05,639
Speaker 1: the fun you get your podcast at. This is your

1363
01:19:05,680 --> 01:19:08,479
Speaker 1: co host AJ Holiday to point Oh. Y'all can follow

1364
01:19:08,520 --> 01:19:10,920
Speaker 1: me on Instagram. Y'all follow us on We Talked Back

1365
01:19:11,040 --> 01:19:15,360
Speaker 1: podcast on Instagram at as well, and we talked Back

1366
01:19:15,439 --> 01:19:20,040
Speaker 1: p O d Onto Winter. What's up, Tam. Y'all follow

1367
01:19:20,120 --> 01:19:24,679
Speaker 1: me on Instagram official Tam bam Um. Send your dumb

1368
01:19:24,680 --> 01:19:26,960
Speaker 1: bing stories to us and also send your ask a

1369
01:19:27,000 --> 01:19:30,400
Speaker 1: Black Friend questions. We really appreciate that. I love you guys.

1370
01:19:30,439 --> 01:19:32,120
Speaker 1: Thank you all for tuning in once again. And I

1371
01:19:32,240 --> 01:19:35,960
Speaker 1: remember to speak now and never hold your peace. Dan