Speaker 1: Welcome to Before Breakfast, a production of I Heart Radio.
Speaker 1: Good Morning, This is Laura. Welcome to the Before Breakfast podcast.
Speaker 1: Today's tip is to make your social connections automatic. When
Speaker 1: you always get together with certain people at a certain time,
Speaker 1: no one has to think about it, and that means
Speaker 1: you will get together more often than not. I'm taking
Speaker 1: today's tip from Shasta Nelson, who is the author of
Speaker 1: a new book called The Business of Friendship. This book
Speaker 1: is about making friends at work, which is definitely important,
Speaker 1: but Shasta thinks a lot about all kinds of friendships,
Speaker 1: and when I interviewed her recently, she mentioned that she
Speaker 1: got together with a few girlfriends every week, virtually at
Speaker 1: the exact same time. They simply chose a time and
Speaker 1: stuck with it. Now, not everyone could make it every week,
Speaker 1: I assume, but because no one had to plan these
Speaker 1: get togethers each time, they happen frequently and that was
Speaker 1: a lot of fun. I love this idea. We would
Speaker 1: all like to spend more time with friends, and these
Speaker 1: days many people are feeling a bit lonely. But when
Speaker 1: we're busy with work and family, it can be hard
Speaker 1: to reach out to a handful of people and see
Speaker 1: if they'd like to dial into a zoom call. We're
Speaker 1: talking a dozen back and forth emails, if not more,
Speaker 1: what a lot of bother. But when you always get
Speaker 1: together Sunday at seven pm for an hour, people start
Speaker 1: to build their lives around that intention. They know that
Speaker 1: it's fine to go out for an early dinner on Sunday,
Speaker 1: but best to head back in time for that zoom call.
Speaker 1: They manage their energy to not feel totally wiped out
Speaker 1: by Sunday at seven pm. And because the call happens
Speaker 1: without a lot of effort, people can start looking forward
Speaker 1: to it, putting their energy into the call rather than
Speaker 1: the planning. That's especially important if you're trying to get
Speaker 1: a group of people together. So if that sounds like
Speaker 1: something you would like to do, think about which people
Speaker 1: you'd like to have a small group get together with frequently.
Speaker 1: Reach out and see if you can come up with
Speaker 1: a time that will work more often than not. Sunday
Speaker 1: evening is, in fact, often good people are back from
Speaker 1: their weekend adventures by then, But there can be other
Speaker 1: times that work. Maybe Friday early morning, maybe Monday night
Speaker 1: after the kids go to bed. What a way to
Speaker 1: start the week. Figure out a time and then set
Speaker 1: it up to be recurring. If you're not sure how
Speaker 1: it will go, well just commit to the first four
Speaker 1: sessions or so. My guess is that it will be
Speaker 1: enough fun that you'll want to keep going. But if not,
Speaker 1: no harm done in life. Making things automatic means we
Speaker 1: spend more time on them. This is a problem when
Speaker 1: it comes to work meetings. Offices will meet every Tuesday
Speaker 1: morning at ten am for eternity, because well that's when
Speaker 1: they always have their staff meeting. It doesn't matter if
Speaker 1: there's nothing to discuss, then meeting doesn't have to overcome
Speaker 1: any hurdles to happen, and so it keeps happening again
Speaker 1: and again by default. This is kind of a waste
Speaker 1: of time at work. But you know what, we spend
Speaker 1: a lot of time at work. We spend far less
Speaker 1: time with friends. So why not put the same default
Speaker 1: principle to work and your social life. Now, Shasta's recurring
Speaker 1: get together was virtual, and I think this is smart too.
Speaker 1: The upside of a virtual recurring get together is that
Speaker 1: there are far fewer things that can go wrong to
Speaker 1: prevent people from coming. No babysitter, no problem, snow not
Speaker 1: an issue case of the sniffles. Nobody's worried about sharing
Speaker 1: germs over zoom. You can also involve people from farther away,
Speaker 1: which is great if you're living far from your college roommates,
Speaker 1: or the people who are in your wedding, or whoever
Speaker 1: you'd like to spend time with. Obviously, getting people together
Speaker 1: in person is awesome and I do heartily recommend that
Speaker 1: when it's safe to do so. But as the past
Speaker 1: few months have shown, virtual get togethers are okay too.
Speaker 1: Not perfect, of course, but maybe is good. And if
Speaker 1: they're more likely to happen, well, that haircut is probably okay.
Speaker 1: Make connection automatic and it happens. There's lots to celebrate
Speaker 1: about that. In the meantime, this is Laura. Thanks for listening,
Speaker 1: and here's to making the most of our time. Hey, everybody,
Speaker 1: I'd love to hear from you. You can send me
Speaker 1: your tips, your questions, or anything else. Just connect with
Speaker 1: me on Twitter, Facebook, and Instagram at Before Breakfast Pod
Speaker 1: that's b E the number four, then breakfast p o D.
Speaker 1: You can also shoot me an email at Before Breakfast
Speaker 1: Podcast at iHeart media dot com That Before Breakfast is
Speaker 1: spelled out with all the letters. Thanks so much. I
Speaker 1: look forward to staying in touch. Before Breakfast is a
Speaker 1: production of I heart Radio. For more podcasts from i
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