WEBVTT - Make connection automatic

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<v Speaker 1>Welcome to Before Breakfast, a production of I Heart Radio.

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<v Speaker 1>Good Morning, This is Laura. Welcome to the Before Breakfast podcast.

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<v Speaker 1>Today's tip is to make your social connections automatic. When

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<v Speaker 1>you always get together with certain people at a certain time,

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<v Speaker 1>no one has to think about it, and that means

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<v Speaker 1>you will get together more often than not. I'm taking

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<v Speaker 1>today's tip from Shasta Nelson, who is the author of

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<v Speaker 1>a new book called The Business of Friendship. This book

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<v Speaker 1>is about making friends at work, which is definitely important,

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<v Speaker 1>but Shasta thinks a lot about all kinds of friendships,

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<v Speaker 1>and when I interviewed her recently, she mentioned that she

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<v Speaker 1>got together with a few girlfriends every week, virtually at

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<v Speaker 1>the exact same time. They simply chose a time and

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<v Speaker 1>stuck with it. Now, not everyone could make it every week,

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<v Speaker 1>I assume, but because no one had to plan these

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<v Speaker 1>get togethers each time, they happen frequently and that was

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<v Speaker 1>a lot of fun. I love this idea. We would

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<v Speaker 1>all like to spend more time with friends, and these

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<v Speaker 1>days many people are feeling a bit lonely. But when

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<v Speaker 1>we're busy with work and family, it can be hard

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<v Speaker 1>to reach out to a handful of people and see

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<v Speaker 1>if they'd like to dial into a zoom call. We're

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<v Speaker 1>talking a dozen back and forth emails, if not more,

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<v Speaker 1>what a lot of bother. But when you always get

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<v Speaker 1>together Sunday at seven pm for an hour, people start

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<v Speaker 1>to build their lives around that intention. They know that

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<v Speaker 1>it's fine to go out for an early dinner on Sunday,

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<v Speaker 1>but best to head back in time for that zoom call.

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<v Speaker 1>They manage their energy to not feel totally wiped out

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<v Speaker 1>by Sunday at seven pm. And because the call happens

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<v Speaker 1>without a lot of effort, people can start looking forward

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<v Speaker 1>to it, putting their energy into the call rather than

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<v Speaker 1>the planning. That's especially important if you're trying to get

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<v Speaker 1>a group of people together. So if that sounds like

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<v Speaker 1>something you would like to do, think about which people

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<v Speaker 1>you'd like to have a small group get together with frequently.

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<v Speaker 1>Reach out and see if you can come up with

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<v Speaker 1>a time that will work more often than not. Sunday

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<v Speaker 1>evening is, in fact, often good people are back from

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<v Speaker 1>their weekend adventures by then, But there can be other

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<v Speaker 1>times that work. Maybe Friday early morning, maybe Monday night

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<v Speaker 1>after the kids go to bed. What a way to

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<v Speaker 1>start the week. Figure out a time and then set

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<v Speaker 1>it up to be recurring. If you're not sure how

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<v Speaker 1>it will go, well just commit to the first four

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<v Speaker 1>sessions or so. My guess is that it will be

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<v Speaker 1>enough fun that you'll want to keep going. But if not,

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<v Speaker 1>no harm done in life. Making things automatic means we

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<v Speaker 1>spend more time on them. This is a problem when

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<v Speaker 1>it comes to work meetings. Offices will meet every Tuesday

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<v Speaker 1>morning at ten am for eternity, because well that's when

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<v Speaker 1>they always have their staff meeting. It doesn't matter if

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<v Speaker 1>there's nothing to discuss, then meeting doesn't have to overcome

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<v Speaker 1>any hurdles to happen, and so it keeps happening again

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<v Speaker 1>and again by default. This is kind of a waste

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<v Speaker 1>of time at work. But you know what, we spend

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<v Speaker 1>a lot of time at work. We spend far less

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<v Speaker 1>time with friends. So why not put the same default

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<v Speaker 1>principle to work and your social life. Now, Shasta's recurring

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<v Speaker 1>get together was virtual, and I think this is smart too.

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<v Speaker 1>The upside of a virtual recurring get together is that

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<v Speaker 1>there are far fewer things that can go wrong to

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<v Speaker 1>prevent people from coming. No babysitter, no problem, snow not

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<v Speaker 1>an issue case of the sniffles. Nobody's worried about sharing

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<v Speaker 1>germs over zoom. You can also involve people from farther away,

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<v Speaker 1>which is great if you're living far from your college roommates,

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<v Speaker 1>or the people who are in your wedding, or whoever

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<v Speaker 1>you'd like to spend time with. Obviously, getting people together

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<v Speaker 1>in person is awesome and I do heartily recommend that

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<v Speaker 1>when it's safe to do so. But as the past

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<v Speaker 1>few months have shown, virtual get togethers are okay too.

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<v Speaker 1>Not perfect, of course, but maybe is good. And if

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<v Speaker 1>they're more likely to happen, well, that haircut is probably okay.

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<v Speaker 1>Make connection automatic and it happens. There's lots to celebrate

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<v Speaker 1>about that. In the meantime, this is Laura. Thanks for listening,

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<v Speaker 1>and here's to making the most of our time. Hey, everybody,

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<v Speaker 1>I'd love to hear from you. You can send me

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<v Speaker 1>your tips, your questions, or anything else. Just connect with

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<v Speaker 1>me on Twitter, Facebook, and Instagram at Before Breakfast Pod

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<v Speaker 1>that's b E the number four, then breakfast p o D.

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<v Speaker 1>You can also shoot me an email at Before Breakfast

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<v Speaker 1>Podcast at iHeart media dot com That Before Breakfast is

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<v Speaker 1>spelled out with all the letters. Thanks so much. I

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<v Speaker 1>look forward to staying in touch. Before Breakfast is a

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<v Speaker 1>production of I heart Radio. For more podcasts from i

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<v Speaker 1>heart Radio, visit the i heart Radio app, Apple Podcasts,

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<v Speaker 1>or wherever you listen to your favorite shows.