1 00:00:03,440 --> 00:00:06,720 Speaker 1: Welcome to Before Breakfast, a production of I Heart Radio. 2 00:00:09,039 --> 00:00:14,200 Speaker 1: Good Morning, This is Laura. Welcome to the Before Breakfast podcast. 3 00:00:14,960 --> 00:00:19,840 Speaker 1: Today's tip is to make your social connections automatic. When 4 00:00:19,840 --> 00:00:23,240 Speaker 1: you always get together with certain people at a certain time, 5 00:00:24,040 --> 00:00:26,880 Speaker 1: no one has to think about it, and that means 6 00:00:26,960 --> 00:00:31,280 Speaker 1: you will get together more often than not. I'm taking 7 00:00:31,280 --> 00:00:33,760 Speaker 1: today's tip from Shasta Nelson, who is the author of 8 00:00:33,760 --> 00:00:37,240 Speaker 1: a new book called The Business of Friendship. This book 9 00:00:37,280 --> 00:00:40,200 Speaker 1: is about making friends at work, which is definitely important, 10 00:00:40,600 --> 00:00:43,360 Speaker 1: but Shasta thinks a lot about all kinds of friendships, 11 00:00:43,840 --> 00:00:46,519 Speaker 1: and when I interviewed her recently, she mentioned that she 12 00:00:46,640 --> 00:00:50,479 Speaker 1: got together with a few girlfriends every week, virtually at 13 00:00:50,520 --> 00:00:54,200 Speaker 1: the exact same time. They simply chose a time and 14 00:00:54,280 --> 00:00:57,560 Speaker 1: stuck with it. Now, not everyone could make it every week, 15 00:00:57,600 --> 00:01:00,560 Speaker 1: I assume, but because no one had to plan these 16 00:01:00,560 --> 00:01:04,920 Speaker 1: get togethers each time, they happen frequently and that was 17 00:01:04,959 --> 00:01:08,880 Speaker 1: a lot of fun. I love this idea. We would 18 00:01:08,920 --> 00:01:11,280 Speaker 1: all like to spend more time with friends, and these 19 00:01:11,360 --> 00:01:14,640 Speaker 1: days many people are feeling a bit lonely. But when 20 00:01:14,640 --> 00:01:17,039 Speaker 1: we're busy with work and family, it can be hard 21 00:01:17,080 --> 00:01:19,000 Speaker 1: to reach out to a handful of people and see 22 00:01:19,000 --> 00:01:21,760 Speaker 1: if they'd like to dial into a zoom call. We're 23 00:01:21,760 --> 00:01:24,280 Speaker 1: talking a dozen back and forth emails, if not more, 24 00:01:25,120 --> 00:01:28,360 Speaker 1: what a lot of bother. But when you always get 25 00:01:28,400 --> 00:01:31,800 Speaker 1: together Sunday at seven pm for an hour, people start 26 00:01:31,840 --> 00:01:34,920 Speaker 1: to build their lives around that intention. They know that 27 00:01:34,920 --> 00:01:37,240 Speaker 1: it's fine to go out for an early dinner on Sunday, 28 00:01:37,240 --> 00:01:39,440 Speaker 1: but best to head back in time for that zoom call. 29 00:01:40,280 --> 00:01:43,000 Speaker 1: They manage their energy to not feel totally wiped out 30 00:01:43,240 --> 00:01:46,880 Speaker 1: by Sunday at seven pm. And because the call happens 31 00:01:46,920 --> 00:01:50,080 Speaker 1: without a lot of effort, people can start looking forward 32 00:01:50,120 --> 00:01:53,760 Speaker 1: to it, putting their energy into the call rather than 33 00:01:53,800 --> 00:01:57,360 Speaker 1: the planning. That's especially important if you're trying to get 34 00:01:57,360 --> 00:02:00,480 Speaker 1: a group of people together. So if that sounds like 35 00:02:00,560 --> 00:02:03,440 Speaker 1: something you would like to do, think about which people 36 00:02:03,480 --> 00:02:06,560 Speaker 1: you'd like to have a small group get together with frequently. 37 00:02:07,600 --> 00:02:09,200 Speaker 1: Reach out and see if you can come up with 38 00:02:09,200 --> 00:02:12,760 Speaker 1: a time that will work more often than not. Sunday 39 00:02:12,760 --> 00:02:15,720 Speaker 1: evening is, in fact, often good people are back from 40 00:02:15,720 --> 00:02:17,960 Speaker 1: their weekend adventures by then, But there can be other 41 00:02:18,000 --> 00:02:22,000 Speaker 1: times that work. Maybe Friday early morning, maybe Monday night 42 00:02:22,000 --> 00:02:24,560 Speaker 1: after the kids go to bed. What a way to 43 00:02:24,639 --> 00:02:27,600 Speaker 1: start the week. Figure out a time and then set 44 00:02:27,639 --> 00:02:31,160 Speaker 1: it up to be recurring. If you're not sure how 45 00:02:31,200 --> 00:02:33,359 Speaker 1: it will go, well just commit to the first four 46 00:02:33,400 --> 00:02:36,120 Speaker 1: sessions or so. My guess is that it will be 47 00:02:36,200 --> 00:02:38,799 Speaker 1: enough fun that you'll want to keep going. But if not, 48 00:02:39,240 --> 00:02:43,920 Speaker 1: no harm done in life. Making things automatic means we 49 00:02:44,040 --> 00:02:47,560 Speaker 1: spend more time on them. This is a problem when 50 00:02:47,600 --> 00:02:51,679 Speaker 1: it comes to work meetings. Offices will meet every Tuesday 51 00:02:51,720 --> 00:02:54,919 Speaker 1: morning at ten am for eternity, because well that's when 52 00:02:54,919 --> 00:02:58,200 Speaker 1: they always have their staff meeting. It doesn't matter if 53 00:02:58,240 --> 00:03:01,520 Speaker 1: there's nothing to discuss, then meeting doesn't have to overcome 54 00:03:01,560 --> 00:03:04,840 Speaker 1: any hurdles to happen, and so it keeps happening again 55 00:03:04,880 --> 00:03:09,160 Speaker 1: and again by default. This is kind of a waste 56 00:03:09,160 --> 00:03:12,400 Speaker 1: of time at work. But you know what, we spend 57 00:03:12,400 --> 00:03:15,120 Speaker 1: a lot of time at work. We spend far less 58 00:03:15,120 --> 00:03:19,119 Speaker 1: time with friends. So why not put the same default 59 00:03:19,120 --> 00:03:23,519 Speaker 1: principle to work and your social life. Now, Shasta's recurring 60 00:03:23,560 --> 00:03:26,360 Speaker 1: get together was virtual, and I think this is smart too. 61 00:03:26,960 --> 00:03:29,600 Speaker 1: The upside of a virtual recurring get together is that 62 00:03:29,639 --> 00:03:31,760 Speaker 1: there are far fewer things that can go wrong to 63 00:03:31,880 --> 00:03:36,960 Speaker 1: prevent people from coming. No babysitter, no problem, snow not 64 00:03:37,080 --> 00:03:40,920 Speaker 1: an issue case of the sniffles. Nobody's worried about sharing 65 00:03:40,960 --> 00:03:45,320 Speaker 1: germs over zoom. You can also involve people from farther away, 66 00:03:45,400 --> 00:03:48,280 Speaker 1: which is great if you're living far from your college roommates, 67 00:03:48,360 --> 00:03:50,640 Speaker 1: or the people who are in your wedding, or whoever 68 00:03:50,680 --> 00:03:53,680 Speaker 1: you'd like to spend time with. Obviously, getting people together 69 00:03:53,760 --> 00:03:56,280 Speaker 1: in person is awesome and I do heartily recommend that 70 00:03:56,280 --> 00:03:58,840 Speaker 1: when it's safe to do so. But as the past 71 00:03:58,880 --> 00:04:02,040 Speaker 1: few months have shown, virtual get togethers are okay too. 72 00:04:02,680 --> 00:04:06,480 Speaker 1: Not perfect, of course, but maybe is good. And if 73 00:04:06,520 --> 00:04:12,080 Speaker 1: they're more likely to happen, well, that haircut is probably okay. 74 00:04:12,760 --> 00:04:17,840 Speaker 1: Make connection automatic and it happens. There's lots to celebrate 75 00:04:18,200 --> 00:04:23,679 Speaker 1: about that. In the meantime, this is Laura. Thanks for listening, 76 00:04:24,320 --> 00:04:33,479 Speaker 1: and here's to making the most of our time. Hey, everybody, 77 00:04:33,720 --> 00:04:35,839 Speaker 1: I'd love to hear from you. You can send me 78 00:04:35,839 --> 00:04:39,520 Speaker 1: your tips, your questions, or anything else. Just connect with 79 00:04:39,520 --> 00:04:43,920 Speaker 1: me on Twitter, Facebook, and Instagram at Before Breakfast Pod 80 00:04:44,600 --> 00:04:48,960 Speaker 1: that's b E the number four, then breakfast p o D. 81 00:04:49,800 --> 00:04:52,640 Speaker 1: You can also shoot me an email at Before Breakfast 82 00:04:52,720 --> 00:04:56,320 Speaker 1: Podcast at iHeart media dot com That Before Breakfast is 83 00:04:56,320 --> 00:04:59,120 Speaker 1: spelled out with all the letters. Thanks so much. I 84 00:04:59,120 --> 00:05:07,200 Speaker 1: look forward to staying in touch. Before Breakfast is a 85 00:05:07,240 --> 00:05:10,479 Speaker 1: production of I heart Radio. 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