1 00:00:12,640 --> 00:00:18,599 Speaker 1: So let's talk about the TikTok ellipse as I've named it, 2 00:00:18,680 --> 00:00:22,720 Speaker 1: that happened that most people know about. So from the 3 00:00:22,840 --> 00:00:25,960 Speaker 1: very beginning, I've explained that TikTok is a different planet, 4 00:00:26,480 --> 00:00:32,600 Speaker 1: and many people visit that planet. Some people have tertiary 5 00:00:32,800 --> 00:00:36,480 Speaker 1: residence is there, secondary residence is there to stop by 6 00:00:36,640 --> 00:00:42,320 Speaker 1: as a tourist. It's a different planet. But I have 7 00:00:42,440 --> 00:00:47,120 Speaker 1: permanent residency there. I live there. I live on Instagram too, 8 00:00:48,000 --> 00:00:50,599 Speaker 1: But I would almost say my primary residence is on 9 00:00:50,720 --> 00:00:56,600 Speaker 1: TikTok because yeah, I would say my primary residence is 10 00:00:56,640 --> 00:01:01,240 Speaker 1: on it. Yeah, my primary residence is. I'm actually thinking 11 00:01:01,240 --> 00:01:04,520 Speaker 1: about this seriously, like TikTok is my Hampton's house, where 12 00:01:04,600 --> 00:01:07,200 Speaker 1: it's where I feel the most comfortable and at home. 13 00:01:07,319 --> 00:01:10,039 Speaker 1: But I do my day to day operations in my 14 00:01:10,280 --> 00:01:15,160 Speaker 1: suburban house, So I would say TikTok is kind of 15 00:01:15,360 --> 00:01:18,600 Speaker 1: where my heart is. So let me explain the differences 16 00:01:18,680 --> 00:01:23,520 Speaker 1: between Instagram and TikTok once and for all accurately, because 17 00:01:23,520 --> 00:01:28,040 Speaker 1: it's a big conversation. As many of you know, there 18 00:01:28,160 --> 00:01:32,559 Speaker 1: wash a TikTok band that went into effect this past weekend. 19 00:01:32,600 --> 00:01:34,680 Speaker 1: I'm going to get into that and what that experience 20 00:01:34,760 --> 00:01:38,240 Speaker 1: was like because that experience was like something happens on 21 00:01:38,280 --> 00:01:40,640 Speaker 1: another planet that most people don't understand, but if you 22 00:01:40,680 --> 00:01:44,080 Speaker 1: live on that planet, you understand what went down. So 23 00:01:44,200 --> 00:01:46,640 Speaker 1: before I get into what went down on the planet 24 00:01:46,680 --> 00:01:50,720 Speaker 1: of talk when it crashed, I will explain to you 25 00:01:50,800 --> 00:01:55,600 Speaker 1: that here is the difference between Instagram and TikTok. Instagram 26 00:01:55,720 --> 00:02:00,559 Speaker 1: is like the Marriotte lobby, where many people are wearing 27 00:02:00,680 --> 00:02:04,720 Speaker 1: name tags, people have personalities, people are attractive, people are 28 00:02:04,760 --> 00:02:07,280 Speaker 1: talking about things they should be talking about. Some people 29 00:02:07,320 --> 00:02:11,080 Speaker 1: say some mistakes and say something they shouldn't, but overall, 30 00:02:11,720 --> 00:02:15,480 Speaker 1: there is a decorum and there are some guard rails 31 00:02:15,960 --> 00:02:18,280 Speaker 1: to what is going on on Instagram, and there's what 32 00:02:18,320 --> 00:02:20,000 Speaker 1: you should do and what you shouldn't do. And I'm 33 00:02:20,040 --> 00:02:22,240 Speaker 1: sorry to my Instagram people because I do have dual 34 00:02:22,280 --> 00:02:24,640 Speaker 1: residency and I live there and I love you. But 35 00:02:24,919 --> 00:02:29,480 Speaker 1: Instagram has way more judgmental people. They would be way 36 00:02:29,520 --> 00:02:31,720 Speaker 1: more There are a bunch of Karens over on TikTok, 37 00:02:31,760 --> 00:02:34,239 Speaker 1: but people would say there are way more Karens on Instagram, 38 00:02:34,280 --> 00:02:37,960 Speaker 1: and Instagram is extremely judgmental. They don't give you a 39 00:02:37,960 --> 00:02:39,960 Speaker 1: lot of breathing room. You do something stupid they make 40 00:02:40,000 --> 00:02:44,600 Speaker 1: you feel feel like a fool. And TikTok so if 41 00:02:44,680 --> 00:02:47,520 Speaker 1: Instagram is a bunch of people with name tags on 42 00:02:47,720 --> 00:02:52,160 Speaker 1: doing what they're mostly supposed to do in an organized 43 00:02:52,440 --> 00:02:58,919 Speaker 1: formatted timeline manner, TikTok is the after party upstairs where 44 00:02:58,960 --> 00:03:01,440 Speaker 1: people are taking their clothes off. Someone has tassels on 45 00:03:01,480 --> 00:03:03,840 Speaker 1: their titties. Someone's definitely made a full of themselves, said 46 00:03:03,840 --> 00:03:06,959 Speaker 1: something stupid. Someone else has applauded them for saying that's 47 00:03:06,960 --> 00:03:10,640 Speaker 1: something stupid. Even though in the mainstream it would not work. 48 00:03:11,280 --> 00:03:14,520 Speaker 1: Instagram is where mainstream media lives. There is not a 49 00:03:14,560 --> 00:03:17,520 Speaker 1: lot of conspiracy theory there. There was not a lot 50 00:03:17,520 --> 00:03:20,320 Speaker 1: of talk about my d or bags. The pandemic was 51 00:03:20,360 --> 00:03:23,520 Speaker 1: discussed there, but in a more let's regurgitate from the 52 00:03:23,600 --> 00:03:29,280 Speaker 1: multiple news stations manner, and TikTok is citizens journalism. Individuals 53 00:03:29,320 --> 00:03:30,080 Speaker 1: are reporters. 54 00:03:30,080 --> 00:03:30,240 Speaker 2: Now. 55 00:03:30,280 --> 00:03:32,160 Speaker 1: When I first got on TikTok, I thought, what the 56 00:03:32,160 --> 00:03:34,800 Speaker 1: hell this random person is holding a microphone thinking they 57 00:03:34,840 --> 00:03:38,400 Speaker 1: report the news, And once I lived on this planet longer, 58 00:03:38,440 --> 00:03:40,720 Speaker 1: I realized, who the hell is the dummy on the 59 00:03:40,760 --> 00:03:45,120 Speaker 1: mainstream channel also regurgitating and reporting the news? What is 60 00:03:45,120 --> 00:03:47,480 Speaker 1: that person? A wizard that person definitely went to MIT 61 00:03:47,760 --> 00:03:51,040 Speaker 1: and fought in wars and worked for NASA and has 62 00:03:51,080 --> 00:03:53,880 Speaker 1: been a mother and a daughter and a man and 63 00:03:53,920 --> 00:03:57,400 Speaker 1: a transgender person, and so that's just a person. 64 00:03:57,680 --> 00:03:58,480 Speaker 2: It's just a person. 65 00:03:58,560 --> 00:04:00,800 Speaker 1: The same way that I could be a pubists today, 66 00:04:01,040 --> 00:04:03,200 Speaker 1: with all due respect to publicists that I love and 67 00:04:03,240 --> 00:04:05,560 Speaker 1: mind Joel Fritzo. If I wanted to, I today could 68 00:04:05,600 --> 00:04:07,800 Speaker 1: decide to be a publicist, a marketing executive. 69 00:04:09,240 --> 00:04:10,760 Speaker 2: I could decide to be a lot of things. 70 00:04:10,960 --> 00:04:14,040 Speaker 1: So people decided they were going to report the news, 71 00:04:14,080 --> 00:04:16,719 Speaker 1: and they are very thorough. Some are just monkeys that 72 00:04:16,839 --> 00:04:18,839 Speaker 1: just say things and spread false news, but that happens 73 00:04:18,839 --> 00:04:22,479 Speaker 1: on the mainstream media too. Some are really knowledgeable. I 74 00:04:22,480 --> 00:04:25,200 Speaker 1: could think of very specific ones that are very knowledgeable. 75 00:04:25,240 --> 00:04:27,320 Speaker 1: They know what they're talking about, like they actually have 76 00:04:27,360 --> 00:04:31,320 Speaker 1: done their research, which is frankly all that mainstream journalists do. 77 00:04:32,040 --> 00:04:35,560 Speaker 1: In addition, you can talk about things ad nauseum for 78 00:04:35,760 --> 00:04:37,760 Speaker 1: TikTok and you can find a community that wants to 79 00:04:37,800 --> 00:04:40,520 Speaker 1: keep hearing it. If I keep talking about relief work 80 00:04:40,520 --> 00:04:42,840 Speaker 1: on Instagram, I will start to lose followers and views 81 00:04:42,839 --> 00:04:45,440 Speaker 1: will go down. That can happen on TikTok too. But 82 00:04:45,520 --> 00:04:49,239 Speaker 1: I can find a pocket in that algorithm where everybody 83 00:04:49,240 --> 00:04:50,880 Speaker 1: wants to talk about relief work, and the only thing 84 00:04:50,880 --> 00:04:53,320 Speaker 1: they're upset about is what's not happening in North Carolina 85 00:04:53,440 --> 00:04:55,760 Speaker 1: right now? Or what is happening in the fires, or 86 00:04:55,800 --> 00:04:58,760 Speaker 1: how did the fire start? Or what are the drones? 87 00:04:59,160 --> 00:05:02,560 Speaker 1: They are the doorb or oh my god, there's a while, 88 00:05:02,640 --> 00:05:06,560 Speaker 1: Mark Burkin, or I'm an asshole and I want to 89 00:05:06,600 --> 00:05:09,279 Speaker 1: go show you my brand new four four hundred thousand 90 00:05:09,279 --> 00:05:11,640 Speaker 1: dollar Rolls Royce and we're gonna fly to Thailand to 91 00:05:11,720 --> 00:05:13,680 Speaker 1: go buy an air mess bag and you're gonna go 92 00:05:13,720 --> 00:05:15,760 Speaker 1: with that person or this one guy who like just 93 00:05:16,040 --> 00:05:19,040 Speaker 1: every day flexes how expensive his cars are, his homes are. 94 00:05:19,279 --> 00:05:21,680 Speaker 2: Whatever. You find your. 95 00:05:21,480 --> 00:05:24,599 Speaker 1: You find your way, you find your place, and sometimes 96 00:05:24,640 --> 00:05:27,000 Speaker 1: you meet people that aren't from your place and you 97 00:05:27,040 --> 00:05:30,080 Speaker 1: find them interesting. I follow twenty something year olds and 98 00:05:30,160 --> 00:05:32,320 Speaker 1: laugh at what they're doing. I don't really do that 99 00:05:32,360 --> 00:05:36,640 Speaker 1: on Instagram. I'm like following more on twenty two year 100 00:05:36,640 --> 00:05:40,359 Speaker 1: olds that do dumb dances that my daughter isn't even following, 101 00:05:40,480 --> 00:05:42,520 Speaker 1: Like I just get a kick out of it. And 102 00:05:43,600 --> 00:05:45,720 Speaker 1: the reason it's a community and a family is, like 103 00:05:45,760 --> 00:05:48,560 Speaker 1: you really there were people. So this is this, this 104 00:05:48,680 --> 00:05:52,039 Speaker 1: really popped off during the pandemic. Okay, So apps like 105 00:05:52,160 --> 00:05:55,240 Speaker 1: Cameo popped off during the pandemic because people couldn't see 106 00:05:55,240 --> 00:05:58,600 Speaker 1: each other and they were sending messages. Apps like TikTok 107 00:05:58,960 --> 00:06:02,080 Speaker 1: popped off because people home and they felt like they 108 00:06:02,080 --> 00:06:04,240 Speaker 1: were with other people. I only regret that I wasn't 109 00:06:04,279 --> 00:06:07,839 Speaker 1: earlier because I would have felt that lack of loneliness. 110 00:06:07,839 --> 00:06:10,320 Speaker 1: You had a whole group of people that you were 111 00:06:10,360 --> 00:06:13,320 Speaker 1: hanging out with every day during the pandemic. Inside joke. 112 00:06:13,560 --> 00:06:17,560 Speaker 1: Everything on TikTok is an inside joke. Everything is a hyperfixation, 113 00:06:17,760 --> 00:06:20,520 Speaker 1: Like if I put like the wrong sea, if I 114 00:06:20,560 --> 00:06:24,039 Speaker 1: didn't put everything bagel seasoning or capers or parmesan or 115 00:06:24,080 --> 00:06:26,440 Speaker 1: something on something that it should have been, like, people 116 00:06:26,440 --> 00:06:28,960 Speaker 1: would fucking go crazy, Like if you rinse your chicken 117 00:06:29,000 --> 00:06:32,159 Speaker 1: and you're not supposed to. The hyperfixations are real, Like 118 00:06:32,200 --> 00:06:34,120 Speaker 1: I could sit in front of a jar of candy 119 00:06:34,480 --> 00:06:37,800 Speaker 1: and just be completely unhinged and talk about it, or 120 00:06:37,839 --> 00:06:40,440 Speaker 1: froth coffee. I can go viral and like have like 121 00:06:40,800 --> 00:06:44,400 Speaker 1: people obsessed with and only making coffee every day like me, 122 00:06:44,600 --> 00:06:47,280 Speaker 1: or eating chicken salad like me, like it's completely insane, 123 00:06:47,480 --> 00:06:50,200 Speaker 1: and it's one inside joke. So when you and your 124 00:06:50,200 --> 00:06:51,920 Speaker 1: friends beat the shit out of a joke that you're 125 00:06:51,960 --> 00:06:54,320 Speaker 1: the only people that understand and no one else understands, 126 00:06:54,960 --> 00:07:00,720 Speaker 1: that's what the fuck it is. So after the pandemic, 127 00:07:00,800 --> 00:07:04,760 Speaker 1: people were people who are ready were insular. You welcome me, 128 00:07:05,600 --> 00:07:08,320 Speaker 1: became more insular. The pandemic ended and they were given 129 00:07:08,400 --> 00:07:10,400 Speaker 1: license to be home, and now they had these new friends. 130 00:07:10,440 --> 00:07:12,080 Speaker 2: They didn't have to work as hard to go be 131 00:07:12,120 --> 00:07:13,120 Speaker 2: social or meet people. 132 00:07:13,800 --> 00:07:16,720 Speaker 1: People who were super social were home, and they were 133 00:07:16,760 --> 00:07:20,480 Speaker 1: like starving and clinging on to the other people that 134 00:07:20,600 --> 00:07:25,400 Speaker 1: also were home. People created businesses. People were vulnerable. People 135 00:07:25,440 --> 00:07:29,880 Speaker 1: were scared, so they shared ups. Guys became stars. Nurses 136 00:07:30,000 --> 00:07:32,960 Speaker 1: became people with ten million followers that make millions of 137 00:07:33,000 --> 00:07:36,000 Speaker 1: dollars a year, like or hundreds of thousands of dollars 138 00:07:36,000 --> 00:07:38,080 Speaker 1: a year. I don't know what people actually make besides 139 00:07:38,200 --> 00:07:39,920 Speaker 1: you know, I don't know what people make besides like 140 00:07:40,080 --> 00:07:42,520 Speaker 1: mainstream influencers. 141 00:07:42,360 --> 00:07:43,679 Speaker 2: And people learned things. 142 00:07:43,760 --> 00:07:46,320 Speaker 1: My daughter was coming up with all these using socks 143 00:07:46,400 --> 00:07:48,160 Speaker 1: to curl her hair and doing all these things, and 144 00:07:48,200 --> 00:07:50,600 Speaker 1: I'm like, were you learning all this sewing? And it 145 00:07:50,680 --> 00:07:54,200 Speaker 1: wasn't just the dances, and Instagram is more corporate. Like 146 00:07:54,240 --> 00:07:56,160 Speaker 1: Instagram is where like we're going to put up two 147 00:07:56,400 --> 00:08:01,640 Speaker 1: feed posts a week, two re we should be doing 148 00:08:01,680 --> 00:08:05,800 Speaker 1: a slider that goes on feed. But that chaotic little 149 00:08:05,800 --> 00:08:08,480 Speaker 1: thing can go on stories. But like any fucking piece 150 00:08:08,480 --> 00:08:11,680 Speaker 1: of spaghetti, you could burp and stick it on TikTok 151 00:08:11,720 --> 00:08:13,920 Speaker 1: and it could get ten million views. And you could 152 00:08:13,920 --> 00:08:17,320 Speaker 1: produce a feature film with Martin Scorsese and it could 153 00:08:17,360 --> 00:08:19,880 Speaker 1: get three views on TikTok. Like they are not snobs, 154 00:08:19,920 --> 00:08:22,280 Speaker 1: they don't give a fuck like and they don't let 155 00:08:22,320 --> 00:08:25,480 Speaker 1: outsiders in. So one time, Whinney Cummings was like, they 156 00:08:25,520 --> 00:08:27,559 Speaker 1: accepted you. I'm like, what are you talking about? Because 157 00:08:27,560 --> 00:08:29,440 Speaker 1: a long time ago they accepted Lizzo and then she 158 00:08:29,480 --> 00:08:31,880 Speaker 1: got canceled and they really didn't she I haven't seen 159 00:08:31,880 --> 00:08:33,319 Speaker 1: her in a long time. And I don't know where 160 00:08:33,400 --> 00:08:35,560 Speaker 1: Jason Derulo is. He's been massive on that app and 161 00:08:35,600 --> 00:08:37,520 Speaker 1: he never got canceled, but I just don't see him. 162 00:08:37,880 --> 00:08:40,280 Speaker 1: And it used to be that there was one community. 163 00:08:40,720 --> 00:08:42,880 Speaker 1: Now there are all these different planets. I happened to 164 00:08:42,920 --> 00:08:45,280 Speaker 1: walk into the Beauty Planet because I was just trying 165 00:08:45,280 --> 00:08:47,400 Speaker 1: to fuck around and learn how to do my makeup, 166 00:08:47,440 --> 00:08:49,640 Speaker 1: not realizing that there was a whole beauty world on 167 00:08:49,679 --> 00:08:51,800 Speaker 1: YouTube and that that was like a thing. I thought 168 00:08:51,800 --> 00:08:54,920 Speaker 1: I invented the wheel and I was in that room, 169 00:08:54,920 --> 00:08:56,720 Speaker 1: but I didn't realize there was that room. There was 170 00:08:56,760 --> 00:08:58,680 Speaker 1: then the food room where that girl with the seaweed 171 00:08:58,720 --> 00:09:02,520 Speaker 1: and the salmon lived, and then there's like an organizing room, 172 00:09:02,520 --> 00:09:04,520 Speaker 1: and a home to core room, and like all a 173 00:09:04,559 --> 00:09:07,480 Speaker 1: steakroom right now, Like there are all these different rooms 174 00:09:07,520 --> 00:09:09,440 Speaker 1: and you can switch rooms and you can curate who's 175 00:09:09,440 --> 00:09:11,720 Speaker 1: in your room, and Instagram is trying to do that 176 00:09:12,120 --> 00:09:14,360 Speaker 1: and reels are trying to do that, but somehow it's 177 00:09:14,400 --> 00:09:17,880 Speaker 1: just not vibing so much so that after a twelve 178 00:09:17,880 --> 00:09:23,040 Speaker 1: hour TikTok Lips blackout shutdown of twenty twenty five, the 179 00:09:23,120 --> 00:09:25,160 Speaker 1: deck has been shuffled and people are coming back and 180 00:09:25,200 --> 00:09:31,120 Speaker 1: they feel like something's different because the snow globe got shaken, 181 00:09:31,520 --> 00:09:34,120 Speaker 1: and therefore, you page, the stuff that comes through to 182 00:09:34,200 --> 00:09:36,480 Speaker 1: you is no longer what you took years to curate. 183 00:09:36,920 --> 00:09:38,800 Speaker 2: Like you've curated exactly what you. 184 00:09:38,760 --> 00:09:40,120 Speaker 1: Want to see and who you want to talk to, 185 00:09:40,160 --> 00:09:41,720 Speaker 1: and you have the same people in your comments, and 186 00:09:41,760 --> 00:09:44,600 Speaker 1: you always get more, but like you're in an inside joke. 187 00:09:45,000 --> 00:09:49,440 Speaker 1: Now I'm watching Josh Richards do do fuck boys way 188 00:09:49,480 --> 00:09:51,800 Speaker 1: house dances, which doesn't mean anything to you. It's like 189 00:09:51,800 --> 00:09:54,800 Speaker 1: the young kids that started TikTok and so like we 190 00:09:54,880 --> 00:09:57,160 Speaker 1: are all like, wait, it's different. So that's how I 191 00:09:57,160 --> 00:09:59,079 Speaker 1: can explain to you how Instagram is different because a 192 00:09:59,160 --> 00:10:02,280 Speaker 1: nuance can shave something, so people don't like the vibes 193 00:10:02,320 --> 00:10:05,800 Speaker 1: over there. And when the TikTok shut down for twelve hours, 194 00:10:05,840 --> 00:10:08,520 Speaker 1: everybody ran to my page and my team started just 195 00:10:08,679 --> 00:10:13,000 Speaker 1: posting like slamming content because they were like children that 196 00:10:13,160 --> 00:10:17,760 Speaker 1: wanted to be hugged. And it sounds insane, but like 197 00:10:17,840 --> 00:10:20,640 Speaker 1: in many ways, I'm an aunt and a sister and 198 00:10:20,800 --> 00:10:23,000 Speaker 1: a mother to some of these young kids. 199 00:10:23,000 --> 00:10:24,280 Speaker 2: They've asked me business advice. 200 00:10:24,320 --> 00:10:27,400 Speaker 1: I've helped them, They've asked me about their weight like products, 201 00:10:27,440 --> 00:10:29,600 Speaker 1: like I've kind of been there for some of them 202 00:10:29,640 --> 00:10:31,760 Speaker 1: because I do provide a different type of wisdom. I'm 203 00:10:31,760 --> 00:10:36,640 Speaker 1: providing very serious but digestible business wisdom, very serious but 204 00:10:36,720 --> 00:10:41,600 Speaker 1: digestible philanthropy wisdom, very not serious beauty wisdom. But then 205 00:10:41,600 --> 00:10:44,800 Speaker 1: they'll always be infused some version of like something that 206 00:10:44,840 --> 00:10:47,960 Speaker 1: they can understand or I can crystallize what's going on 207 00:10:48,000 --> 00:10:51,200 Speaker 1: with a talk a talk sound that's going viral and 208 00:10:51,240 --> 00:10:52,880 Speaker 1: like how long it will last and why not to 209 00:10:52,920 --> 00:10:55,959 Speaker 1: buy into it and intellectual property. I've helped them with 210 00:10:56,040 --> 00:11:00,480 Speaker 1: and organizing their house and affordable design, and you know, 211 00:11:00,559 --> 00:11:02,880 Speaker 1: that's just what goes on there. So I'm the good 212 00:11:02,920 --> 00:11:05,000 Speaker 1: news is when you keep washing your hair with the 213 00:11:05,000 --> 00:11:08,240 Speaker 1: same shampoo, you should shake it up because then it 214 00:11:08,280 --> 00:11:10,760 Speaker 1: will get a little more body. And we all got 215 00:11:10,760 --> 00:11:13,400 Speaker 1: comfortable on TikTok. While I have a good community on 216 00:11:13,440 --> 00:11:16,640 Speaker 1: Instagram and I love Instagram, you got comfortable over there, 217 00:11:16,679 --> 00:11:18,600 Speaker 1: and a lot of people like the Alex Earls and 218 00:11:18,840 --> 00:11:20,480 Speaker 1: the people that make a lot of money over there, 219 00:11:20,600 --> 00:11:22,920 Speaker 1: were very worried when TikTok was going to shut down. 220 00:11:23,360 --> 00:11:25,600 Speaker 1: I was not worried when TikTok was going to shut 221 00:11:25,640 --> 00:11:28,360 Speaker 1: down from like a business or what do I do 222 00:11:28,440 --> 00:11:31,319 Speaker 1: every day to you know that sort of thing perspective, 223 00:11:31,440 --> 00:11:34,199 Speaker 1: meaning some people were worried about their businesses. Spencer Pratt 224 00:11:34,280 --> 00:11:36,760 Speaker 1: was in a free fall because he just became TikTok 225 00:11:36,800 --> 00:11:39,320 Speaker 1: famous a week ago because his house burnt down, and 226 00:11:39,360 --> 00:11:40,760 Speaker 1: now he felt like he got a taste and it 227 00:11:40,800 --> 00:11:44,000 Speaker 1: was going away, so they were really really down. I 228 00:11:44,160 --> 00:11:48,840 Speaker 1: was emotionally unhinged because I like the community and I 229 00:11:49,000 --> 00:11:52,520 Speaker 1: like comedy. So for me, it's a self expression. I 230 00:11:52,520 --> 00:11:55,200 Speaker 1: get to express myself and do very stupid things and 231 00:11:55,240 --> 00:11:59,040 Speaker 1: be very flawed and unhinged, and there it's like my 232 00:11:59,160 --> 00:12:01,800 Speaker 1: Saturday Night Life. I've never been able to host Saturday 233 00:12:01,880 --> 00:12:03,920 Speaker 1: Night Live or even be on it except for the 234 00:12:04,160 --> 00:12:07,760 Speaker 1: multiple times they mentioned me. So TikTok is my television show. 235 00:12:07,800 --> 00:12:10,559 Speaker 1: It's my Saturday Night Live. It's why I never went 236 00:12:10,600 --> 00:12:13,160 Speaker 1: back to TV. I get to be myself and I 237 00:12:13,880 --> 00:12:17,600 Speaker 1: just connect with this medium and I built a community there, 238 00:12:17,600 --> 00:12:21,320 Speaker 1: which takes a really long time. So TikTok is the 239 00:12:21,440 --> 00:12:25,960 Speaker 1: land of the misfit toys, TikTok is the rescue dogs. 240 00:12:26,360 --> 00:12:31,040 Speaker 1: Instagram is where the breeder dogs live. So I hope 241 00:12:31,080 --> 00:12:33,760 Speaker 1: that makes sense to you, and many of you were 242 00:12:33,800 --> 00:12:35,960 Speaker 1: going to have an interesting time and started to see 243 00:12:35,960 --> 00:12:39,520 Speaker 1: what really unhinged Bethany is like. As you know, all 244 00:12:39,559 --> 00:12:42,920 Speaker 1: the ex pats and the TikTok refugees started to fly 245 00:12:43,040 --> 00:12:45,280 Speaker 1: in and now they're flying back, and a lot some 246 00:12:45,320 --> 00:12:47,840 Speaker 1: of them got on red note this weird Chinese app 247 00:12:47,880 --> 00:12:50,920 Speaker 1: that you literally have to speak Mandarin to fully understand it. 248 00:12:51,000 --> 00:12:54,760 Speaker 1: People were like going through People were exchange students over 249 00:12:54,800 --> 00:12:56,760 Speaker 1: there because they were worried that they weren't going to 250 00:12:56,800 --> 00:12:59,240 Speaker 1: have TikTok, and it was like a TikTok knockoff. And 251 00:12:59,280 --> 00:13:01,640 Speaker 1: there's some other I'm like, I don't know what it's called, 252 00:13:01,679 --> 00:13:04,040 Speaker 1: like bright Side or something. I can't remember, but it 253 00:13:04,080 --> 00:13:06,040 Speaker 1: was a moment, And then I'm gonna get into the 254 00:13:06,080 --> 00:13:09,640 Speaker 1: actual moment in time, the historical pop cultural moment, the 255 00:13:09,720 --> 00:13:14,679 Speaker 1: TikTok shut down of twenty twenty five. They all describe 256 00:13:14,679 --> 00:13:20,480 Speaker 1: it as crashing out, and I was an unhinged, crashing 257 00:13:20,600 --> 00:13:23,840 Speaker 1: out warrior, like I was there to the bitter end, 258 00:13:24,000 --> 00:13:28,560 Speaker 1: in fact, in the most iconic and epic thing that's 259 00:13:28,720 --> 00:13:30,640 Speaker 1: ever happened to me on that app, And many people 260 00:13:30,679 --> 00:13:32,760 Speaker 1: are saying it's the most iconic and epic thing they've 261 00:13:32,800 --> 00:13:37,160 Speaker 1: ever witnessed on the app. When it was crashing out slowly, 262 00:13:37,280 --> 00:13:39,960 Speaker 1: like not slowly, meaning it crashed out pretty quickly, but 263 00:13:40,040 --> 00:13:44,440 Speaker 1: like each of us was dissolving. Spencer Pratt with Heidi, 264 00:13:45,040 --> 00:13:47,959 Speaker 1: Alex Earle and myself were all on a live and 265 00:13:48,040 --> 00:13:50,480 Speaker 1: one by one we just started to each fade. They 266 00:13:50,520 --> 00:13:53,199 Speaker 1: faded because it was my live and then the people 267 00:13:53,200 --> 00:13:55,800 Speaker 1: were crying and freaking out in the in the comments, 268 00:13:55,840 --> 00:13:57,480 Speaker 1: and then I faded, and then they were talking to 269 00:13:57,520 --> 00:13:59,840 Speaker 1: each other like, wait, is it over? And you saw 270 00:14:00,080 --> 00:14:02,200 Speaker 1: that sign that just said it was over. And we 271 00:14:02,240 --> 00:14:05,120 Speaker 1: all thought that this world that we had all made 272 00:14:05,160 --> 00:14:08,760 Speaker 1: these connections on, like I know nurses from Staten Island, 273 00:14:08,880 --> 00:14:12,560 Speaker 1: I know hairdressers, I know people that don't pizza stores 274 00:14:12,679 --> 00:14:15,120 Speaker 1: like I, and you think I don't know them, Like 275 00:14:15,160 --> 00:14:17,000 Speaker 1: I've invited them to some of my events. I plan 276 00:14:17,080 --> 00:14:20,760 Speaker 1: to have a party for them. They've supported me. They're 277 00:14:20,760 --> 00:14:24,120 Speaker 1: good human beings. And when we were crashing out, we 278 00:14:24,120 --> 00:14:26,880 Speaker 1: were crashing out, and I was just un hinge, and 279 00:14:26,920 --> 00:14:30,640 Speaker 1: I was drinking this cannabis drink and just being honest, 280 00:14:30,680 --> 00:14:32,360 Speaker 1: and I wasn't saying I mean. The funny thing about 281 00:14:32,400 --> 00:14:35,880 Speaker 1: it is on TikTok, so many people shared things that 282 00:14:35,920 --> 00:14:38,440 Speaker 1: weren't true. I would never have anything to share that 283 00:14:38,520 --> 00:14:40,800 Speaker 1: wasn't true because I've never shared anything on TikTok that 284 00:14:40,920 --> 00:14:42,640 Speaker 1: wasn't true. So a lot of people were like, oh, 285 00:14:42,640 --> 00:14:45,840 Speaker 1: I didn't really mean it when I said this. The 286 00:14:45,960 --> 00:14:49,000 Speaker 1: scare was good or this workout I don't really do 287 00:14:49,120 --> 00:14:51,040 Speaker 1: or I've never really been there, I've never done that. 288 00:14:51,880 --> 00:14:55,480 Speaker 1: So but I was crashing out and it was like 289 00:14:55,640 --> 00:15:00,120 Speaker 1: a disconnection. It was like we were all sinking on 290 00:15:00,120 --> 00:15:01,960 Speaker 1: the Titanic and it was going under. And for those 291 00:15:02,000 --> 00:15:04,280 Speaker 1: of you who are on Instagram will say like, oh 292 00:15:04,360 --> 00:15:06,520 Speaker 1: my god, like get a life, like it's social media 293 00:15:06,560 --> 00:15:09,080 Speaker 1: app or any of you who will say that, I've 294 00:15:09,240 --> 00:15:12,080 Speaker 1: raised millions of dollars on social media, both on Instagram 295 00:15:12,080 --> 00:15:15,200 Speaker 1: and on TikTok. I've been able to convey things about 296 00:15:15,280 --> 00:15:18,320 Speaker 1: lawsuits and business that I could never have conveyed anywhere else. 297 00:15:18,720 --> 00:15:22,280 Speaker 1: I went through my mother dying, not fully, but like 298 00:15:22,400 --> 00:15:24,760 Speaker 1: a little bit like dipped in and out and dating 299 00:15:24,880 --> 00:15:29,200 Speaker 1: and a little bit of a breakup on TikTok and Instagram. 300 00:15:29,240 --> 00:15:31,600 Speaker 1: Like social media, if used for good not evil, is 301 00:15:31,640 --> 00:15:34,440 Speaker 1: a very powerful medium. And if you're a homebody like myself, 302 00:15:34,480 --> 00:15:38,000 Speaker 1: it certainly is a powerful social medium. But for many people, 303 00:15:39,160 --> 00:15:41,240 Speaker 1: the mainstream media thinks it was because of the business 304 00:15:41,240 --> 00:15:43,520 Speaker 1: that was going to be lost, and that is an aspect, 305 00:15:43,600 --> 00:15:46,320 Speaker 1: and some people have left their businesses and do have 306 00:15:48,040 --> 00:15:50,440 Speaker 1: a career there and make money and monetize who they 307 00:15:50,440 --> 00:15:53,760 Speaker 1: actually are because they left their jobs. And many major 308 00:15:53,800 --> 00:15:56,320 Speaker 1: businesses make millions and millions of dollars, and. 309 00:15:56,280 --> 00:15:57,320 Speaker 2: That was all real. 310 00:15:57,800 --> 00:15:59,640 Speaker 1: But the people that were crashing out, the people that 311 00:15:59,680 --> 00:16:03,080 Speaker 1: were crying, and we're not thinking really primarily of their money. 312 00:16:03,120 --> 00:16:05,840 Speaker 1: They were thinking of the connection. They were thinking of 313 00:16:06,320 --> 00:16:08,920 Speaker 1: their people. They were thinking of their friends, their family. 314 00:16:09,000 --> 00:16:12,600 Speaker 1: They were thinking of the beautiful disaster. They were thinking 315 00:16:12,640 --> 00:16:14,760 Speaker 1: of the land of misfit toys. They were thinking of 316 00:16:14,840 --> 00:16:17,560 Speaker 1: not coloring within the lines. They were thinking of being 317 00:16:17,600 --> 00:16:20,960 Speaker 1: at the after party upstairs like a lunatic and not 318 00:16:21,080 --> 00:16:38,320 Speaker 1: being in the lobby of the Marriotte with a lanyard on. Well, 319 00:16:38,360 --> 00:16:41,000 Speaker 1: the month of January has been pretty boring. We really 320 00:16:41,040 --> 00:16:44,840 Speaker 1: need something to happen. There's just not a lot going on. 321 00:16:46,840 --> 00:16:47,480 Speaker 2: Let's review. 322 00:16:47,880 --> 00:16:55,800 Speaker 1: There was a cyber truck alleged bomb incident in Vegas. 323 00:16:55,920 --> 00:16:58,560 Speaker 1: There was another incident like that in New Orleans. There 324 00:16:58,560 --> 00:17:04,040 Speaker 1: were like seven plane either crashes or failures or something 325 00:17:04,040 --> 00:17:07,440 Speaker 1: in one week before right before Christmas, so and then 326 00:17:07,520 --> 00:17:10,800 Speaker 1: right after there was like intense fog were there were 327 00:17:10,880 --> 00:17:14,520 Speaker 1: and still are drones which I've renamed Diora bags everywhere. 328 00:17:14,960 --> 00:17:18,080 Speaker 1: But I had been told that people would stop paying 329 00:17:18,119 --> 00:17:20,199 Speaker 1: attention to them because so many other crazy things were 330 00:17:20,240 --> 00:17:20,879 Speaker 1: going to happen. 331 00:17:20,920 --> 00:17:22,879 Speaker 2: Now do I know how? And why? No, I'm not. 332 00:17:24,200 --> 00:17:26,879 Speaker 1: I'm not a fucking genius, nor am I a mind reader, 333 00:17:26,920 --> 00:17:27,360 Speaker 1: nor am I. 334 00:17:27,320 --> 00:17:28,080 Speaker 2: A fortune teller. 335 00:17:28,119 --> 00:17:30,120 Speaker 1: And I keep saying that we are all ants because 336 00:17:30,160 --> 00:17:32,320 Speaker 1: whatever anything is, we're not going to be the ones 337 00:17:32,359 --> 00:17:33,840 Speaker 1: to know it. We'll be told what we need to know. 338 00:17:33,880 --> 00:17:35,760 Speaker 1: It's like you sit the fuck down, You sit at 339 00:17:35,760 --> 00:17:38,399 Speaker 1: the kids say well, we'll call you. Do not speak 340 00:17:38,480 --> 00:17:43,240 Speaker 1: unless spoken to, and so then after the doora bags, 341 00:17:43,359 --> 00:17:46,320 Speaker 1: then it was the California fires. Then there's an uprising 342 00:17:46,359 --> 00:17:48,480 Speaker 1: because of North Carolina because they're not getting the love 343 00:17:48,520 --> 00:17:51,479 Speaker 1: and the attention and the media that the California fires 344 00:17:51,520 --> 00:17:53,840 Speaker 1: are getting. And I went there to do relief work 345 00:17:54,320 --> 00:17:57,479 Speaker 1: and I'm a zombie. I'm so exhausted. The people there 346 00:17:57,520 --> 00:18:01,719 Speaker 1: are so traumatized. They are zombies different reasons. And then 347 00:18:01,840 --> 00:18:04,120 Speaker 1: we came back, and then there was the TikTok ban, 348 00:18:04,320 --> 00:18:07,440 Speaker 1: and then there were the hostages discussed, and now there's 349 00:18:07,480 --> 00:18:13,000 Speaker 1: an inauguration. It's fucking January twentieth. It feels like January 350 00:18:13,119 --> 00:18:16,439 Speaker 1: ninety ninth. It feels like it's been five months in 351 00:18:16,480 --> 00:18:19,920 Speaker 1: this week, it's been this month has been five months long. 352 00:18:20,000 --> 00:18:24,000 Speaker 2: I am so tired. My week started. I went to La. 353 00:18:24,400 --> 00:18:28,280 Speaker 2: I flew there, went to the way. What did I do? 354 00:18:28,400 --> 00:18:32,880 Speaker 1: I flew there, woke up, went to the warehouse, got 355 00:18:32,920 --> 00:18:36,320 Speaker 1: the warehouse organized, had started to raise money already, so 356 00:18:36,400 --> 00:18:38,480 Speaker 1: now I had raised probably at that point like probably 357 00:18:38,520 --> 00:18:41,919 Speaker 1: one to two million dollars. Continued to raise money, wrote 358 00:18:41,960 --> 00:18:44,000 Speaker 1: all sort of the copy for everything we were going 359 00:18:44,000 --> 00:18:46,320 Speaker 1: to portray in what we were going to say about 360 00:18:46,359 --> 00:18:52,120 Speaker 1: this disaster. Did multiple press outlets in La. While there, 361 00:18:52,160 --> 00:18:56,919 Speaker 1: I think I did Extra and NBC and Spectrum and 362 00:18:56,960 --> 00:19:00,320 Speaker 1: something else. And then went on multiple missions, actually living 363 00:19:00,359 --> 00:19:02,919 Speaker 1: boxes and cash cards and meeting people and it was 364 00:19:03,000 --> 00:19:05,919 Speaker 1: so tragic and so sad, but really making a difference 365 00:19:05,960 --> 00:19:08,879 Speaker 1: in helping. Then going to the second mission in a 366 00:19:08,960 --> 00:19:11,080 Speaker 1: church and doing a big speech and speaking to everyone 367 00:19:11,119 --> 00:19:13,840 Speaker 1: about it. Then deciding I'm getting on a red eye 368 00:19:13,880 --> 00:19:15,520 Speaker 1: because I want to be there with my daughter for 369 00:19:15,560 --> 00:19:18,200 Speaker 1: breakfast and after school. So I get on a red eye. 370 00:19:18,359 --> 00:19:20,000 Speaker 1: Sleep three hours on the red eye because I'm so 371 00:19:20,080 --> 00:19:21,199 Speaker 1: activated and wound up. 372 00:19:21,440 --> 00:19:22,160 Speaker 2: Get off the. 373 00:19:22,119 --> 00:19:25,600 Speaker 1: Red eye, sleep an hour Cebrian right before school, give 374 00:19:25,640 --> 00:19:27,600 Speaker 1: her a kiss, don't drive her that day because I'm 375 00:19:27,600 --> 00:19:28,200 Speaker 1: a zombie. 376 00:19:28,680 --> 00:19:29,919 Speaker 2: Get organized the whole day. 377 00:19:29,920 --> 00:19:31,480 Speaker 1: Because the reason I wanted to take the Red Eye 378 00:19:31,520 --> 00:19:33,720 Speaker 1: was to like have one night in my house. I 379 00:19:33,880 --> 00:19:35,520 Speaker 1: like to nest. I don't like to go one place 380 00:19:35,560 --> 00:19:37,160 Speaker 1: to the next. I like to get back to the base, 381 00:19:37,480 --> 00:19:40,080 Speaker 1: even if it's inconvenient, even if it takes longer. I 382 00:19:40,240 --> 00:19:42,520 Speaker 1: like to get back to the base. And sadly, as 383 00:19:42,520 --> 00:19:44,520 Speaker 1: an influencer, the amount of shit I get sent that 384 00:19:44,600 --> 00:19:47,280 Speaker 1: I don't even want takes a full time job, and 385 00:19:47,320 --> 00:19:48,840 Speaker 1: getting back to the base to go through it and 386 00:19:48,840 --> 00:19:50,600 Speaker 1: tell everyone where it's going to go and what we're 387 00:19:50,760 --> 00:19:51,159 Speaker 1: doing with that? 388 00:19:51,240 --> 00:19:51,919 Speaker 2: Are we shooting it? 389 00:19:52,400 --> 00:19:54,879 Speaker 1: And then the next morning woke up. I think it 390 00:19:54,920 --> 00:19:57,440 Speaker 1: was like five o'clock five one day, six o'clock one day, 391 00:19:57,800 --> 00:20:01,000 Speaker 1: and I had to do morning shows. Oh no, that's 392 00:20:01,040 --> 00:20:03,680 Speaker 1: not true. I did the opening of the Nasdaq Bell. 393 00:20:03,760 --> 00:20:06,399 Speaker 1: I rang the opening of the Nasdaq bell, something that 394 00:20:06,440 --> 00:20:08,720 Speaker 1: people would wait their entire lives to do. That one 395 00:20:08,760 --> 00:20:11,720 Speaker 1: thing that is like slotted in on that day because 396 00:20:11,760 --> 00:20:15,760 Speaker 1: afterwards I had either like CNN or NBC. I had 397 00:20:15,800 --> 00:20:18,840 Speaker 1: like two news news outlets that day to do. Then 398 00:20:18,920 --> 00:20:23,040 Speaker 1: went home to be with Brinn for dinner. No, that's 399 00:20:23,080 --> 00:20:25,639 Speaker 1: not true. Then went back to the city, had dinner 400 00:20:25,640 --> 00:20:27,520 Speaker 1: with two people. Don't know why I would ever do that, 401 00:20:27,560 --> 00:20:29,719 Speaker 1: but had dinner. Then woke up the next morning at 402 00:20:29,720 --> 00:20:31,359 Speaker 1: five o'clock in the morning to get up and to 403 00:20:31,440 --> 00:20:35,200 Speaker 1: do Gail King, and I believe we did one other thing. 404 00:20:35,240 --> 00:20:38,360 Speaker 1: We did Access Hollywood right after Gael King. Yes, Gail 405 00:20:38,440 --> 00:20:41,840 Speaker 1: King into Access Hollywood. But wait, there's more. Then I left, 406 00:20:41,920 --> 00:20:43,639 Speaker 1: came home. I had to go through whatever I had 407 00:20:43,680 --> 00:20:45,639 Speaker 1: to go through with business, do my normal life, my 408 00:20:45,680 --> 00:20:48,159 Speaker 1: normal business. Then I woke up the next day and 409 00:20:48,240 --> 00:20:50,280 Speaker 1: had to go to a volleyball tournament for two days, 410 00:20:50,320 --> 00:20:55,879 Speaker 1: screaming auditoriums, ballrooms, drive to one and a half hours 411 00:20:55,920 --> 00:20:57,840 Speaker 1: on the way there to Hartford, and then drove back 412 00:20:57,840 --> 00:21:00,320 Speaker 1: in a snowstorm two and a half hour or some 413 00:21:00,359 --> 00:21:02,440 Speaker 1: of it being ten miles an hour, skidded a little bit, 414 00:21:02,840 --> 00:21:05,320 Speaker 1: like literally in full panic because I wanted to go 415 00:21:05,359 --> 00:21:06,680 Speaker 1: see her, but I had to get home. 416 00:21:07,000 --> 00:21:09,639 Speaker 2: And that is where I stand right now. 417 00:21:09,840 --> 00:21:13,679 Speaker 1: I am a carcass I feel like I am like 418 00:21:13,960 --> 00:21:17,280 Speaker 1: some tar that's on the tire of someone's car. Oh 419 00:21:17,320 --> 00:21:20,720 Speaker 1: and we also threw all that raised about four million 420 00:21:20,760 --> 00:21:24,840 Speaker 1: dollars and like being the full switchboard onboarding kat Korra 421 00:21:24,960 --> 00:21:27,679 Speaker 1: for her eight hundred meals to be a part of 422 00:21:27,720 --> 00:21:29,800 Speaker 1: our program and our charity, and just got off with 423 00:21:29,880 --> 00:21:34,840 Speaker 1: the producer to give them possibly a job in the warehouse. 424 00:21:34,880 --> 00:21:39,439 Speaker 1: And oh, I forgot yesterday right before I went to 425 00:21:39,480 --> 00:21:44,320 Speaker 1: the volleyball tournament. I oh, and I forgot the TikTok ban. 426 00:21:44,880 --> 00:21:48,479 Speaker 1: And I forgot the TikTok ban. I'm so sorry. I'm sorry. 427 00:21:48,480 --> 00:21:51,160 Speaker 1: After Gail King come home, then am in my house 428 00:21:51,200 --> 00:21:55,520 Speaker 1: and have a full unhinged ttok tiktoka lips melt down, 429 00:21:55,600 --> 00:21:59,480 Speaker 1: crash out ban, then go to the Then on the 430 00:21:59,560 --> 00:22:05,520 Speaker 1: way to the volleyball tournament, did Good Morning America or 431 00:22:05,920 --> 00:22:10,280 Speaker 1: ABC News? I am not a person, not a person. 432 00:22:10,280 --> 00:22:12,600 Speaker 1: Why my team scheduled this right now, I'll never know. 433 00:22:13,800 --> 00:22:18,600 Speaker 1: But that's that. And tomorrow I have a massive photo 434 00:22:18,640 --> 00:22:22,320 Speaker 1: shoot for my website. So I'm a shattered wreck. 435 00:22:22,440 --> 00:22:22,880 Speaker 2: Okay. 436 00:22:23,320 --> 00:22:25,840 Speaker 1: The TikTok band does bring up the phone and our 437 00:22:25,880 --> 00:22:30,000 Speaker 1: addiction to it, and that it's like a crutch and 438 00:22:30,240 --> 00:22:32,120 Speaker 1: we sleep with it. We use it as an alarm 439 00:22:32,160 --> 00:22:34,800 Speaker 1: clock in we say it's in case our daughters call. 440 00:22:34,880 --> 00:22:36,480 Speaker 1: My daughter has her phone in her room because she 441 00:22:36,560 --> 00:22:37,920 Speaker 1: uses it as an alarm clock. 442 00:22:38,240 --> 00:22:38,879 Speaker 2: I don't love that. 443 00:22:38,960 --> 00:22:40,800 Speaker 1: I bought a clock for next to my bed, and 444 00:22:40,840 --> 00:22:44,040 Speaker 1: it is helping at least, like with putting my phone 445 00:22:44,080 --> 00:22:46,360 Speaker 1: outside my room. It may not be early, like eight 446 00:22:46,359 --> 00:22:48,760 Speaker 1: o'clock and shutting everything down, but even when I go 447 00:22:48,800 --> 00:22:50,480 Speaker 1: to bed, I'm putting it outside my room. And yes, 448 00:22:50,560 --> 00:22:52,439 Speaker 1: let's say i wake up at two o'clock in the morning, 449 00:22:52,560 --> 00:22:54,919 Speaker 1: which happens often, and I go to the bathroom and 450 00:22:54,960 --> 00:22:57,160 Speaker 1: I've been thinking about something, or wanting someone to text 451 00:22:57,240 --> 00:22:58,119 Speaker 1: or expecting something. 452 00:22:58,480 --> 00:22:59,200 Speaker 2: I will look. 453 00:22:59,240 --> 00:23:01,160 Speaker 1: But even the dis point of having it out there 454 00:23:01,280 --> 00:23:04,480 Speaker 1: is kind of the first steps. So I did buy 455 00:23:05,440 --> 00:23:06,480 Speaker 1: I don't need an alarm. 456 00:23:06,520 --> 00:23:07,600 Speaker 2: Actually I set alarm clock. 457 00:23:07,640 --> 00:23:09,399 Speaker 1: I don't ever use an alarm, but a clock to 458 00:23:09,440 --> 00:23:11,240 Speaker 1: be by my bedside, just to look at the time, 459 00:23:11,560 --> 00:23:13,159 Speaker 1: because often you pick up your phone to look at 460 00:23:13,200 --> 00:23:15,960 Speaker 1: the clock, but then it's triggering about who texted who didn't, 461 00:23:15,960 --> 00:23:18,240 Speaker 1: and you get sucked into the rabbit hole. So I 462 00:23:18,280 --> 00:23:21,520 Speaker 1: think you should think about some version of a very nice, 463 00:23:21,640 --> 00:23:24,760 Speaker 1: chic little clock. And they often have sound machines now, 464 00:23:24,800 --> 00:23:27,399 Speaker 1: and some one of them is a charger Mine is 465 00:23:27,400 --> 00:23:28,359 Speaker 1: a charger, but it sucks. 466 00:23:28,359 --> 00:23:30,360 Speaker 2: It doesn't charge, but I just and. 467 00:23:30,320 --> 00:23:31,720 Speaker 1: Then you don't need You don't need it as a 468 00:23:31,800 --> 00:23:33,520 Speaker 1: charger because you're not using your phone next to there, 469 00:23:33,560 --> 00:23:36,359 Speaker 1: so that's but it's still a charger throughout the day 470 00:23:36,400 --> 00:23:37,160 Speaker 1: you might need it. 471 00:23:37,200 --> 00:23:37,880 Speaker 2: Mine does not work. 472 00:23:37,880 --> 00:24:00,240 Speaker 3: I don't know why I tell that boring story. 473 00:23:51,840 --> 00:23:52,400 Speaker 2: In other news. 474 00:23:52,400 --> 00:23:56,600 Speaker 1: I want to talk about relationships, friendships, business relationships, and 475 00:23:56,840 --> 00:24:00,720 Speaker 1: intimate relationships, and I want to talk about bend until 476 00:24:00,760 --> 00:24:01,320 Speaker 1: you break. 477 00:24:02,000 --> 00:24:02,840 Speaker 2: I think it's interesting. 478 00:24:02,840 --> 00:24:04,800 Speaker 1: We've done it to someone, We've had it done to us, 479 00:24:04,880 --> 00:24:07,919 Speaker 1: where you kind of take someone for granted, or they 480 00:24:07,960 --> 00:24:10,359 Speaker 1: take you for granted, and they may not even know 481 00:24:10,480 --> 00:24:11,719 Speaker 1: it or be able to help it. 482 00:24:11,880 --> 00:24:14,200 Speaker 2: The circumstances could be so great that someone just. 483 00:24:14,600 --> 00:24:17,199 Speaker 1: Can't really be there for you or give you what 484 00:24:17,240 --> 00:24:19,879 Speaker 1: you need, or do the things that they're supposed to do, 485 00:24:19,920 --> 00:24:23,320 Speaker 1: and whatever that relationship dynamic is, whether work, friendship or 486 00:24:23,400 --> 00:24:30,080 Speaker 1: personal intimate you know, marriage, dating, And there comes a 487 00:24:30,160 --> 00:24:33,480 Speaker 1: time when people bend so far. It happens in comedy too, 488 00:24:33,560 --> 00:24:36,359 Speaker 1: you can bend it if it breaks, it's no longer funny. 489 00:24:36,640 --> 00:24:40,240 Speaker 1: And it happens in relationships where when you bend too 490 00:24:40,320 --> 00:24:43,359 Speaker 1: far and then you break. You snap. It's hard to 491 00:24:43,400 --> 00:24:46,040 Speaker 1: come back from. There's really no more rope, and you 492 00:24:46,040 --> 00:24:47,720 Speaker 1: could be broken hearted and it could be the most 493 00:24:47,760 --> 00:24:50,840 Speaker 1: upsetting thing in the world. But once you've crossed over 494 00:24:51,280 --> 00:24:55,000 Speaker 1: and you've seen too much, it's very hard to go back. 495 00:24:55,400 --> 00:25:00,800 Speaker 1: So I caution you, in your relationships and in situations 496 00:25:01,240 --> 00:25:04,440 Speaker 1: to try to take care of things and treat them 497 00:25:04,520 --> 00:25:07,639 Speaker 1: as if they are precious and sometimes made of glass, 498 00:25:07,640 --> 00:25:10,720 Speaker 1: sometimes delicate, even if it's some you know with staff, 499 00:25:10,720 --> 00:25:12,840 Speaker 1: like people who work with you are for you, like 500 00:25:13,320 --> 00:25:16,480 Speaker 1: you know, we can all be frustrated and snappy, and 501 00:25:17,160 --> 00:25:17,479 Speaker 1: we're not. 502 00:25:17,600 --> 00:25:18,400 Speaker 2: No one's perfect. 503 00:25:18,400 --> 00:25:20,480 Speaker 1: But in any kind of relationship, it's really important to 504 00:25:20,560 --> 00:25:23,879 Speaker 1: watch when something is bending so far that it might break, 505 00:25:24,040 --> 00:25:26,439 Speaker 1: if you are not willing to lose it and not 506 00:25:26,480 --> 00:25:27,600 Speaker 1: willing to walk away from it. 507 00:25:28,119 --> 00:25:28,560 Speaker 2: It's weird. 508 00:25:28,560 --> 00:25:31,159 Speaker 1: I'm thinking of that Brionna Chicken frying grayce O'Malley, that 509 00:25:31,240 --> 00:25:33,720 Speaker 1: friendship that you probably don't know about, but like broke 510 00:25:33,760 --> 00:25:37,000 Speaker 1: down on TikTok and social media because they were best 511 00:25:37,040 --> 00:25:39,320 Speaker 1: friends and something happened and it snapped and it broke. 512 00:25:39,640 --> 00:25:41,639 Speaker 1: It happens a lot on the housewise but that doesn't 513 00:25:41,640 --> 00:25:46,960 Speaker 1: count because that's not real, and that's effectively effectively manufactured drama. 514 00:25:47,040 --> 00:25:49,199 Speaker 1: What is actually happening is real, but it would not 515 00:25:49,320 --> 00:25:51,399 Speaker 1: be happening if it weren't on that show. It's the 516 00:25:51,400 --> 00:25:53,720 Speaker 1: pressure of the show. It's the manipulation of the producers. 517 00:25:53,720 --> 00:25:56,000 Speaker 1: It's the putting certain people together with other certain people 518 00:25:56,240 --> 00:25:58,919 Speaker 1: for certain circumstances. It's the bringing up of things that 519 00:25:58,920 --> 00:26:02,280 Speaker 1: would never normally brought be brought up. It's the non pleasantry, 520 00:26:02,359 --> 00:26:04,240 Speaker 1: is the sort of getting right to saying the things 521 00:26:04,280 --> 00:26:06,760 Speaker 1: you would never normally say because it's part of the job. 522 00:26:06,800 --> 00:26:09,720 Speaker 1: It's exposing your relationship. It's exposing your past. It's having 523 00:26:09,800 --> 00:26:12,600 Speaker 1: to talk about your dark secrets and your skeletons. It's 524 00:26:12,960 --> 00:26:15,320 Speaker 1: not having to have enough arguments in drama to rate. 525 00:26:15,680 --> 00:26:18,239 Speaker 1: You're acutely aware of that. Someone may not, at this 526 00:26:18,280 --> 00:26:20,000 Speaker 1: point in twenty twenty five tell you you have to 527 00:26:20,000 --> 00:26:22,119 Speaker 1: get in a fight or rip someone's hair out. But 528 00:26:22,160 --> 00:26:24,760 Speaker 1: there's a pressure and a feeling because in no other world, 529 00:26:24,760 --> 00:26:29,360 Speaker 1: if people flip tables, rip weaves out, and behave this way, 530 00:26:29,440 --> 00:26:32,120 Speaker 1: throw drinks at each other, it happens there because people 531 00:26:32,160 --> 00:26:35,320 Speaker 1: are aware that if throwing your leg in the middle 532 00:26:35,359 --> 00:26:37,960 Speaker 1: of a dance floor might get you ratings. You want 533 00:26:37,960 --> 00:26:42,199 Speaker 1: the gig and in real life, not that life. The 534 00:26:42,240 --> 00:26:46,199 Speaker 1: bending and breaking, it can be tragic and detrimental. It 535 00:26:46,240 --> 00:26:49,120 Speaker 1: can be Once something breaks, it's hard to crazy glue 536 00:26:49,200 --> 00:26:51,840 Speaker 1: back together. When it's bending, it's stretching. It's not doing 537 00:26:52,280 --> 00:26:55,440 Speaker 1: back great. It's working. It's it's you know, working overtime. 538 00:26:55,480 --> 00:26:57,840 Speaker 1: But you could possibly get it back to its original shape. 539 00:26:58,000 --> 00:27:00,359 Speaker 1: Once something fully breaks, it's hard to get back to 540 00:27:00,400 --> 00:27:05,760 Speaker 1: its original shape. 541 00:27:06,840 --> 00:27:07,640 Speaker 2: Let's talk about. 542 00:27:07,520 --> 00:27:13,840 Speaker 1: Red flag relationships, because I've talked about red Pink flags 543 00:27:14,320 --> 00:27:18,520 Speaker 1: are red flags, and you know red flags. Charming is 544 00:27:18,560 --> 00:27:22,119 Speaker 1: a red flag. But like, there are relationships where you 545 00:27:22,480 --> 00:27:25,280 Speaker 1: may be really attracted to someone, or let's say you 546 00:27:25,320 --> 00:27:26,120 Speaker 1: fall in love with them. 547 00:27:26,200 --> 00:27:29,080 Speaker 2: Let's say it just seems really great. Let's say you're lonely, Let's. 548 00:27:28,880 --> 00:27:31,600 Speaker 1: Say you're bored, but you get into a relationship and 549 00:27:31,720 --> 00:27:34,040 Speaker 1: along the way there are red flags, and they're each 550 00:27:34,119 --> 00:27:40,600 Speaker 1: small red flags, and you can gaslight yourself into convincing 551 00:27:40,680 --> 00:27:43,719 Speaker 1: that they're okay because there's one red flag. And then 552 00:27:43,760 --> 00:27:45,480 Speaker 1: you talk to the person and you bury that red flag. 553 00:27:45,520 --> 00:27:47,880 Speaker 1: It's like whack the mole. And then another one pops up, 554 00:27:48,480 --> 00:27:51,040 Speaker 1: and in the aggregate you find yourself getting deal fatigue. 555 00:27:51,080 --> 00:27:53,040 Speaker 1: But it's like each time it's just not such a 556 00:27:53,080 --> 00:27:55,439 Speaker 1: big thing. So you kind of gaslight yourself like that 557 00:27:55,560 --> 00:27:57,560 Speaker 1: wasn't a big thing. And your friends might be like 558 00:27:57,640 --> 00:27:59,800 Speaker 1: rolling their eyes because they've heard all the things and 559 00:28:00,160 --> 00:28:03,359 Speaker 1: you're kind of describing this one thing, and you know 560 00:28:03,480 --> 00:28:05,320 Speaker 1: you're trying to convince why it's not that big of 561 00:28:05,359 --> 00:28:07,680 Speaker 1: a deal. But the people that you've been discussing it with, 562 00:28:07,840 --> 00:28:09,879 Speaker 1: be careful about crowdsourcing. We all do it, and it's 563 00:28:09,920 --> 00:28:12,680 Speaker 1: probably not the best idea, but I talk to my therapist, 564 00:28:12,680 --> 00:28:15,600 Speaker 1: but I also crowdsource. Those people are thinking, wow, I 565 00:28:15,600 --> 00:28:18,480 Speaker 1: can't believe this person's accepting less than what they deserve. 566 00:28:18,520 --> 00:28:20,840 Speaker 1: They never do, but it's because along the way all 567 00:28:20,840 --> 00:28:23,439 Speaker 1: the little red flags don't seem like they amount to 568 00:28:23,480 --> 00:28:27,480 Speaker 1: that much. And I just caution you this. If someone 569 00:28:27,760 --> 00:28:32,840 Speaker 1: shows you who they are, believe them, Believe them, don't 570 00:28:32,840 --> 00:28:35,560 Speaker 1: describe it away. Don't think people are going to change, 571 00:28:36,000 --> 00:28:38,600 Speaker 1: Don't be the nag. Don't keep telling people what you 572 00:28:38,680 --> 00:28:43,400 Speaker 1: want and repeating the same information expecting different results. Don't 573 00:28:43,440 --> 00:28:46,280 Speaker 1: be repeating the same behavior and expecting different results. And 574 00:28:46,440 --> 00:28:49,200 Speaker 1: sometimes you'll just have to walk away. You will just 575 00:28:49,280 --> 00:28:51,640 Speaker 1: have to walk away, no matter what your feelings are. 576 00:28:51,920 --> 00:28:55,480 Speaker 1: And sometimes that walking away will give someone We'll scare 577 00:28:55,520 --> 00:29:02,480 Speaker 1: someone straight. Sometimes walking away scares someone straight, and that's 578 00:29:04,680 --> 00:29:06,959 Speaker 1: all so good because they realize the stakes and they 579 00:29:07,000 --> 00:29:10,000 Speaker 1: realize they want to change. Sometimes walking away make someone 580 00:29:10,040 --> 00:29:12,080 Speaker 1: realize that it's too much damage you're giving them, or 581 00:29:12,120 --> 00:29:15,320 Speaker 1: that you realize you've walked away. You almost don't want 582 00:29:15,360 --> 00:29:17,640 Speaker 1: them to get scared straight. You almost don't want them 583 00:29:17,680 --> 00:29:19,880 Speaker 1: to change because you're scared that they won't be able to. 584 00:29:19,880 --> 00:29:23,160 Speaker 1: When you're schedule to get hurt, you're almost out, You're like, okay, 585 00:29:23,240 --> 00:29:25,520 Speaker 1: but you're hurting, you know, like that kind of feeling. 586 00:29:25,920 --> 00:29:28,400 Speaker 1: So I caution you to really think about red flags 587 00:29:28,400 --> 00:29:30,840 Speaker 1: because I've talked about that a lot on my divorce podcasts, 588 00:29:31,080 --> 00:29:32,920 Speaker 1: and I really ignored a lot of red flags, and 589 00:29:32,960 --> 00:29:37,840 Speaker 1: I think it's really critical. Another thing to caution in 590 00:29:37,960 --> 00:29:41,000 Speaker 1: dating and in dating apps and in meeting people is 591 00:29:41,000 --> 00:29:44,200 Speaker 1: people asking you for things in the beginning. As it 592 00:29:44,240 --> 00:29:47,240 Speaker 1: pertains to business, I've found that many people that I 593 00:29:47,280 --> 00:29:50,800 Speaker 1: go out with, I all of a sudden enter into 594 00:29:50,920 --> 00:29:54,280 Speaker 1: being their mentor it's not specific and they haven't asked 595 00:29:54,280 --> 00:29:58,120 Speaker 1: me that, but somehow they're like constantly asking me for 596 00:29:58,400 --> 00:30:01,560 Speaker 1: either favors or advice or saying, you're really inspiring me, 597 00:30:01,640 --> 00:30:04,680 Speaker 1: you're making me really, you know, get motivated to do this. 598 00:30:04,880 --> 00:30:09,160 Speaker 1: And that's good on its face, but sometimes what you're 599 00:30:09,200 --> 00:30:11,840 Speaker 1: doing is a mirror for someone else, and they start 600 00:30:11,880 --> 00:30:13,680 Speaker 1: to feel badly about themselves and they start to sort 601 00:30:13,680 --> 00:30:16,200 Speaker 1: of secretly compete, or they start to think that they 602 00:30:16,240 --> 00:30:18,520 Speaker 1: need to do something to overcompensate for what you are 603 00:30:18,800 --> 00:30:20,520 Speaker 1: because I have so much going on that it will 604 00:30:20,520 --> 00:30:24,240 Speaker 1: make any person feel somewhat insecure about whatever they don't 605 00:30:24,280 --> 00:30:24,840 Speaker 1: have going on. 606 00:30:25,280 --> 00:30:26,640 Speaker 2: Even if compared to like. 607 00:30:26,880 --> 00:30:34,040 Speaker 1: A normal, nice, needy, basic girl, they are so much 608 00:30:34,080 --> 00:30:37,040 Speaker 1: bigger and they get to be the big shot. They 609 00:30:37,080 --> 00:30:39,200 Speaker 1: still will feel that way in this relationship, and often 610 00:30:39,240 --> 00:30:41,160 Speaker 1: men want to run back to the girl that makes 611 00:30:41,200 --> 00:30:43,720 Speaker 1: them feel like the big man on campus, because that's 612 00:30:43,720 --> 00:30:45,120 Speaker 1: the girl who doesn't have a lot going on, and 613 00:30:45,120 --> 00:30:47,440 Speaker 1: he's gonna be like, you're my prince, you're my king. Yeah, 614 00:30:47,440 --> 00:30:49,720 Speaker 1: I'm here for whatever you need. I'll go wherever you want. 615 00:30:50,120 --> 00:30:52,480 Speaker 1: That makes it hard to me people, because that's not 616 00:30:52,600 --> 00:30:56,600 Speaker 1: me and be careful of that type of stuff. I 617 00:30:56,680 --> 00:31:01,440 Speaker 1: had a guy match me and the first sentence out was, 618 00:31:01,480 --> 00:31:03,880 Speaker 1: I admire what you've done. I have this business and 619 00:31:03,920 --> 00:31:05,400 Speaker 1: it does this, and I'd really like to talk to 620 00:31:05,400 --> 00:31:05,960 Speaker 1: you at some point. 621 00:31:06,040 --> 00:31:08,520 Speaker 2: This is why someone matched me on cameo. 622 00:31:08,640 --> 00:31:10,920 Speaker 1: People have paid me for a cameo to pitch me 623 00:31:11,000 --> 00:31:13,120 Speaker 1: their business, which is a little more appropriate. But I'm 624 00:31:13,120 --> 00:31:14,520 Speaker 1: not going to like respond to them and give them 625 00:31:14,520 --> 00:31:17,400 Speaker 1: a shark tank response for you know, three hundred dollars. 626 00:31:17,440 --> 00:31:19,840 Speaker 2: It's insane. But people do that in a relationship too. 627 00:31:19,880 --> 00:31:21,720 Speaker 1: They don't maybe they don't realize it, but they're like 628 00:31:21,920 --> 00:31:24,400 Speaker 1: utilizing you as some version of a mentor. I don't 629 00:31:24,440 --> 00:31:26,840 Speaker 1: want to work when I'm in my social life. I 630 00:31:26,920 --> 00:31:28,400 Speaker 1: once had someone want to go out with me and 631 00:31:28,440 --> 00:31:29,880 Speaker 1: their daughter was a big fan, and they asked me 632 00:31:29,880 --> 00:31:32,320 Speaker 1: if they should bring their daughter. I was like, I 633 00:31:32,360 --> 00:31:34,640 Speaker 1: thought dating was a two person sport if we're not 634 00:31:34,800 --> 00:31:38,360 Speaker 1: in the fucking Mormon country. So anyway, you'll see a 635 00:31:38,400 --> 00:31:42,960 Speaker 1: lot of shit. You'll see a lot of shit. Going 636 00:31:43,000 --> 00:31:47,000 Speaker 1: back to bending and breaking. Also, I find that the 637 00:31:47,080 --> 00:31:50,040 Speaker 1: good dynamic is when both people are givers. You will 638 00:31:50,080 --> 00:31:52,080 Speaker 1: start to see if you are the giver or the 639 00:31:52,080 --> 00:31:55,280 Speaker 1: taker in a relationship, and I have been both. It's 640 00:31:55,320 --> 00:31:57,440 Speaker 1: not black and white, and you in a relateral I've 641 00:31:57,440 --> 00:31:59,640 Speaker 1: always been a person who gives love and who gives, 642 00:31:59,680 --> 00:32:03,120 Speaker 1: and who definitely gives materialistically and who gives gift twise, 643 00:32:03,240 --> 00:32:07,480 Speaker 1: I am very much like that. But from an emotional 644 00:32:07,480 --> 00:32:12,040 Speaker 1: standpoint or from a thoughtful standpoint, or from a doing standpoint, 645 00:32:12,200 --> 00:32:16,560 Speaker 1: you know, I'm definitely there. Maybe I'm not always giving emotionally, 646 00:32:16,600 --> 00:32:19,000 Speaker 1: maybe I shut down, but you will find when there's 647 00:32:19,000 --> 00:32:21,760 Speaker 1: someone in a relationship who's sort of always taking, it's 648 00:32:21,760 --> 00:32:24,360 Speaker 1: just like they're always asking for something. There's always some 649 00:32:24,400 --> 00:32:26,240 Speaker 1: more thing that they need, and you're always going out 650 00:32:26,280 --> 00:32:28,160 Speaker 1: of your way to do things for them, even when 651 00:32:28,160 --> 00:32:30,640 Speaker 1: they're not asking, because they're just sort of have that 652 00:32:30,760 --> 00:32:33,560 Speaker 1: take or energy, and you just get into the role 653 00:32:33,640 --> 00:32:37,040 Speaker 1: of being the giver. And I don't think that I 654 00:32:37,080 --> 00:32:40,320 Speaker 1: think that lends to the bend and break, because that 655 00:32:40,440 --> 00:32:43,200 Speaker 1: is effectively the giving tree. The giving Tree story is 656 00:32:43,240 --> 00:32:46,240 Speaker 1: about going every day to take branches from this tree 657 00:32:46,240 --> 00:32:48,280 Speaker 1: who kept giving and giving and giving. In one day 658 00:32:48,280 --> 00:32:51,400 Speaker 1: it's said, I'm sorry, I have no more branches to give, 659 00:32:52,400 --> 00:32:55,520 Speaker 1: and it was very sad because that's when you realize. 660 00:33:00,120 --> 00:33:04,600 Speaker 3: After went back. 661 00:33:04,560 --> 00:33:08,160 Speaker 2: To the paster, most. 662 00:33:09,560 --> 00:33:15,560 Speaker 3: To the answer. Most went back to the conster