1 00:00:00,040 --> 00:00:03,040 Speaker 1: Hello, lovely listeners. Kevin Pollock here just letting you know 2 00:00:03,120 --> 00:00:05,520 Speaker 1: the next live show for Alchemy. This will be on 3 00:00:05,600 --> 00:00:08,680 Speaker 1: July one, seven pm West Side Comedy Theater. If you're 4 00:00:08,680 --> 00:00:12,160 Speaker 1: in the Santa Monica, California area, or anywhere near it 5 00:00:12,360 --> 00:00:16,000 Speaker 1: July one, please come join us. Tickets will go fast, 6 00:00:16,040 --> 00:00:17,919 Speaker 1: as I did last time. We'd love to see you there. 7 00:00:18,120 --> 00:00:23,480 Speaker 1: Go to west Side Comedy dot com for more. Welcome 8 00:00:23,480 --> 00:00:25,239 Speaker 1: back to another episode of Alchemy this. I'm your host, 9 00:00:25,239 --> 00:00:29,880 Speaker 1: Gavin About yes that Kevin Paula, No, I do think 10 00:00:29,920 --> 00:00:32,199 Speaker 1: we're all gonna be okay. It's just going to take 11 00:00:32,240 --> 00:00:35,320 Speaker 1: about a decade to heal as a people. What's that? Yes, 12 00:00:35,680 --> 00:00:37,639 Speaker 1: I am talking about the horrible last season of Game 13 00:00:37,640 --> 00:00:40,600 Speaker 1: of Thrones, deer dragons and little people. I'd like to 14 00:00:40,640 --> 00:00:45,440 Speaker 1: welcome you all to another episode of Alchemy this. Let's 15 00:00:45,440 --> 00:00:48,000 Speaker 1: meet today's Alchemys. Shall we, in no particular order? Say hello? 16 00:00:48,120 --> 00:00:51,680 Speaker 1: But that's a raggling niche. What was your favorite TV 17 00:00:51,760 --> 00:00:56,120 Speaker 1: show growing up? After pre school? I watched Perry Mason 18 00:01:00,000 --> 00:01:03,680 Speaker 1: and be Wow, I love that show too. Yeah, I 19 00:01:03,720 --> 00:01:08,440 Speaker 1: was a big fan. Inexplicably, Well, thank you for that. 20 00:01:09,120 --> 00:01:13,360 Speaker 1: Let's see keep it up. And I'll pull this car over. 21 00:01:13,440 --> 00:01:17,320 Speaker 1: It's Carla a Cowski Carla Deus And don't what is 22 00:01:17,360 --> 00:01:23,759 Speaker 1: your favorite donut? Oh? Um, the sugar one everybody went. 23 00:01:26,160 --> 00:01:28,360 Speaker 1: Speaking of things to do in the summer, it's James Ay, 24 00:01:29,120 --> 00:01:34,759 Speaker 1: James Coco Chanel. What's your favorite practical joke? I really 25 00:01:34,959 --> 00:01:37,319 Speaker 1: like pretending like I hit my head on something that 26 00:01:37,400 --> 00:01:46,840 Speaker 1: someone else's fault, get their pity and then let it off. No, no, 27 00:01:46,959 --> 00:01:49,800 Speaker 1: it's super cool. Speaking of practical say, how did you 28 00:01:49,840 --> 00:01:53,400 Speaker 1: craik at cowsket cocow? What's your favorite flavor of pie? 29 00:01:53,680 --> 00:01:59,280 Speaker 1: And why I like them? Creamy? Sure? I like a 30 00:02:00,080 --> 00:02:03,760 Speaker 1: like a good coconut cream. Hello, and it's just you know, 31 00:02:03,800 --> 00:02:12,520 Speaker 1: I'm a texture guy. That's good variety of textures there 32 00:02:12,560 --> 00:02:16,920 Speaker 1: for two children here, that was all sexual, But you 33 00:02:17,000 --> 00:02:19,640 Speaker 1: go straight to a g double's hockey sticks of Goodingum, 34 00:02:19,720 --> 00:02:26,799 Speaker 1: least it's nobody's favorite. Joey Greer, please greer with your 35 00:02:26,800 --> 00:02:29,320 Speaker 1: hands attendant to how much cash do you think I 36 00:02:29,360 --> 00:02:31,480 Speaker 1: have in my pocket right now? I wrote that down, 37 00:02:31,520 --> 00:02:35,280 Speaker 1: not realizing you would see as of thousands of dollars 38 00:02:35,360 --> 00:02:40,440 Speaker 1: day lush nowhere near all right, let's get to our 39 00:02:40,480 --> 00:02:44,120 Speaker 1: first scene. All of today's scene suggestions or just a 40 00:02:44,160 --> 00:02:46,960 Speaker 1: poker player. We're gathered from our listen of emails. If 41 00:02:46,960 --> 00:02:49,280 Speaker 1: you'd like to submit yours, please write to the podcast 42 00:02:49,360 --> 00:02:52,760 Speaker 1: at your name here at alchemy this dot com. That's 43 00:02:52,840 --> 00:02:56,440 Speaker 1: your name here at alchemy this dot com. My first scene, 44 00:02:56,480 --> 00:03:02,880 Speaker 1: in fact, comes from Toyvo in Finland, who wrote, Dear Alchemists, 45 00:03:03,320 --> 00:03:06,400 Speaker 1: your weekly antics of hilarity have been a joy to 46 00:03:06,480 --> 00:03:10,079 Speaker 1: listen to. Vanessa Ragling maybe my number one favorite, even 47 00:03:10,400 --> 00:03:19,200 Speaker 1: even though her mumbly hobo voice is quite horrifying. Called action, 48 00:03:19,760 --> 00:03:22,959 Speaker 1: keep up the great work. Here's a scene idea. An 49 00:03:23,000 --> 00:03:27,720 Speaker 1: awkward family reunion in Texas turns unexpectedly weird when an 50 00:03:27,800 --> 00:03:33,360 Speaker 1: uncle reveals himself to be an actual wizard. We've done 51 00:03:33,400 --> 00:03:42,200 Speaker 1: that scene a couple of yours, truly Toivo Callio, who 52 00:03:42,240 --> 00:03:46,520 Speaker 1: made the bean deep. You made the bean deep. It's 53 00:03:46,560 --> 00:03:50,520 Speaker 1: sorry I didn't understand the question. No, I didn't. Ohbody 54 00:03:50,600 --> 00:03:53,040 Speaker 1: know who it's delicious. I just want to honestly, I 55 00:03:53,200 --> 00:03:55,520 Speaker 1: just got a double store and you just peel it off, 56 00:03:55,520 --> 00:03:57,000 Speaker 1: you put it in a plate, and it looks like 57 00:03:57,040 --> 00:03:59,520 Speaker 1: it's you know, it looks like come on, Trevor, just 58 00:03:59,600 --> 00:04:01,800 Speaker 1: have a little come on fun. Well, I put some 59 00:04:01,840 --> 00:04:03,800 Speaker 1: sour cream on top of but I guess I put 60 00:04:03,840 --> 00:04:07,920 Speaker 1: the little dressing on you. Rascal. Can't be a rascal. 61 00:04:08,320 --> 00:04:12,840 Speaker 1: Big It would be good in a Freedo pie pie. 62 00:04:13,040 --> 00:04:17,440 Speaker 1: I brought one. I brought one. I dropped it. You 63 00:04:17,560 --> 00:04:20,400 Speaker 1: dropped it. I dropped it, but I brought it. We 64 00:04:20,440 --> 00:04:23,200 Speaker 1: can describe it just something about the texture of a 65 00:04:23,240 --> 00:04:27,919 Speaker 1: Freedo pae. Alright, your man, it's really a good variety 66 00:04:27,960 --> 00:04:31,560 Speaker 1: of mouth creeped out every time it talks about textures. 67 00:04:32,040 --> 00:04:36,080 Speaker 1: It's also creamy, it's got some honks, and all right, 68 00:04:36,160 --> 00:04:38,280 Speaker 1: let's just stop talking about texture. Let's just all agree 69 00:04:38,320 --> 00:04:42,200 Speaker 1: texture or something we enjoying that subject. Text. Don't mess 70 00:04:42,240 --> 00:04:47,760 Speaker 1: with textures. Turn the last time we all got together 71 00:04:47,760 --> 00:04:49,760 Speaker 1: as a family, it's been too long. Got to be 72 00:04:50,720 --> 00:04:56,520 Speaker 1: fifteen weeks now, coming up on six things. It was 73 00:04:56,640 --> 00:05:01,760 Speaker 1: Valentine's Day. Ye who brought this tray of crystals? Taylor? 74 00:05:01,800 --> 00:05:04,760 Speaker 1: I thought you browed it. No, No, I'm right, I 75 00:05:04,880 --> 00:05:13,440 Speaker 1: like those rocks. Oh No, when's uncle gonna get here? 76 00:05:13,880 --> 00:05:15,760 Speaker 1: He was just here. Yeah, I was gonna say I 77 00:05:15,760 --> 00:05:17,920 Speaker 1: saw him. Come on, he was the first one to ride. 78 00:05:19,200 --> 00:05:22,560 Speaker 1: Scared him. And not saying him in a while. I 79 00:05:22,600 --> 00:05:25,120 Speaker 1: heard he was he went under a bush. I saw him, 80 00:05:25,120 --> 00:05:27,200 Speaker 1: but then I blanked and he was gone. Yeah, it 81 00:05:27,240 --> 00:05:29,640 Speaker 1: was more like into a bush. I thought I was 82 00:05:29,880 --> 00:05:35,160 Speaker 1: scared than I uncle uncle right, yeah, yeah, yeah, you've 83 00:05:35,200 --> 00:05:38,560 Speaker 1: seen him. I haven't seen uncle. No. Got some stuff 84 00:05:38,600 --> 00:05:41,520 Speaker 1: stuck in your face hair? Oh yeah, I got got 85 00:05:41,520 --> 00:05:43,640 Speaker 1: a bit of brisket. There it's a beard. Oh look this. 86 00:05:43,960 --> 00:05:46,400 Speaker 1: If you look real close at these crystals, there's little 87 00:05:46,400 --> 00:05:51,839 Speaker 1: people inside of him. I don't know, look at a 88 00:05:51,880 --> 00:05:55,279 Speaker 1: real close reasons those are race No, no, there each 89 00:05:55,279 --> 00:05:56,920 Speaker 1: one of us. It looks like one of them, like someone. 90 00:05:57,040 --> 00:06:00,800 Speaker 1: You know. There's the draws on rock. It must be 91 00:06:00,839 --> 00:06:05,279 Speaker 1: the the same way that we're moving white. Maybe that's 92 00:06:05,279 --> 00:06:08,800 Speaker 1: our future and maybe that's our past. I don't know 93 00:06:08,839 --> 00:06:12,080 Speaker 1: because i'm here, but I see myself inside the spring crystal. 94 00:06:12,200 --> 00:06:17,000 Speaker 1: Put your finger, but I don't know where we're going 95 00:06:17,040 --> 00:06:18,880 Speaker 1: to figure this out. Somebody put your finger in your butt, 96 00:06:18,880 --> 00:06:25,160 Speaker 1: and you already the people in the crystals put their 97 00:06:25,200 --> 00:06:28,680 Speaker 1: finger in them. But Jimmy, it's a possible future. Jimmy, Joe, 98 00:06:28,720 --> 00:06:30,960 Speaker 1: what are you smoking? You got everybody thinking there's people. 99 00:06:31,440 --> 00:06:33,440 Speaker 1: Take a look at yourself, and we're one of us. 100 00:06:33,480 --> 00:06:36,400 Speaker 1: I'm not gonna look at the rocks with the people inside. 101 00:06:37,080 --> 00:06:41,200 Speaker 1: Just look at that. It's because of hazel stigma. I 102 00:06:41,240 --> 00:06:44,600 Speaker 1: can't see without my glasses. They passed me that sledgehammer 103 00:06:44,640 --> 00:06:47,800 Speaker 1: over there. Alright, I'm gonna smash my rock oop, and 104 00:06:47,839 --> 00:06:50,120 Speaker 1: I'm gonna get my little people out and see what happened. 105 00:06:51,160 --> 00:06:54,200 Speaker 1: Little people get well, I'm sure that that's not what's 106 00:06:54,240 --> 00:07:01,840 Speaker 1: gonna happen. Oh my god, oh my, Jimmy jus up 107 00:07:01,839 --> 00:07:07,200 Speaker 1: in the sharks sharts sed. There's a big shart of 108 00:07:07,320 --> 00:07:13,240 Speaker 1: his head screaming, shard away from me. Finger. But now 109 00:07:13,480 --> 00:07:21,520 Speaker 1: is what just hie opened? Jimmy Jones sharted himself. Somebody 110 00:07:21,520 --> 00:07:26,600 Speaker 1: go from when they started his middle self, what him 111 00:07:26,680 --> 00:07:36,360 Speaker 1: is a little little cool? Let's cool, uncle, These are 112 00:07:36,400 --> 00:07:39,920 Speaker 1: your crystals, my crystals, These are my crystals. Are my family. 113 00:07:40,040 --> 00:07:46,800 Speaker 1: People saying there's raising people in the Uncle jim shared himself, Well, 114 00:07:46,840 --> 00:07:49,440 Speaker 1: don't put a don't put a plateful of crystals at 115 00:07:49,440 --> 00:07:53,960 Speaker 1: the buffet, because we're just gonna want timer was wrong 116 00:07:54,080 --> 00:07:56,920 Speaker 1: over there? What are you supposed to do with these crystals? 117 00:07:57,040 --> 00:08:02,320 Speaker 1: Didn't left uncle crying? Crystal's right now crystals coming out 118 00:08:02,360 --> 00:08:07,000 Speaker 1: of your eyes. These were supposed to be protective spells 119 00:08:07,040 --> 00:08:09,360 Speaker 1: to make sure you do nothing to ever hurt my family. 120 00:08:09,520 --> 00:08:14,480 Speaker 1: Talking about protective, we're talking about spells. Crystals is another 121 00:08:14,560 --> 00:08:17,559 Speaker 1: word for rocks, is what we're sailing. Yes, we've already 122 00:08:17,560 --> 00:08:22,080 Speaker 1: passed that. Oh no, I'm gonna take these remaining crystals 123 00:08:22,080 --> 00:08:25,880 Speaker 1: back up to my castle, Castle Castle. Here's somebody hit 124 00:08:25,920 --> 00:08:32,200 Speaker 1: the lotter and didn't tell none him my life. But 125 00:08:32,240 --> 00:08:34,560 Speaker 1: I don't really know uncle. I think Uncle has been 126 00:08:34,600 --> 00:08:41,400 Speaker 1: practicing some magic, like he learned from a book that possible. Well, 127 00:08:41,440 --> 00:08:43,920 Speaker 1: he just did some sort of vantish and the act. 128 00:08:43,960 --> 00:08:45,800 Speaker 1: I don't know where he went, probably into the cracks 129 00:08:45,800 --> 00:08:48,839 Speaker 1: of the Who's seen David Blaine, David who I've seen 130 00:08:48,920 --> 00:08:54,640 Speaker 1: him on TV? Who've seen David Blaine Street magic fallout 131 00:08:54,800 --> 00:08:57,560 Speaker 1: and then and it doesn't even believe they just throw 132 00:08:58,000 --> 00:09:00,160 Speaker 1: chrom Murphy. If you're going to add something my thkin 133 00:09:00,240 --> 00:09:03,760 Speaker 1: about what we're talking about, what David is, Let's say 134 00:09:03,760 --> 00:09:06,040 Speaker 1: you don't know who David Blaine is. But no, I'm 135 00:09:06,040 --> 00:09:10,000 Speaker 1: saying you get to say whatever you free. It's not 136 00:09:10,000 --> 00:09:12,360 Speaker 1: about saying whatever we want. It's about I'm saying that 137 00:09:12,400 --> 00:09:15,120 Speaker 1: there's a magician out there that we can how can 138 00:09:15,160 --> 00:09:18,560 Speaker 1: we talk to him? Well, Scooter here is a good friend. 139 00:09:18,600 --> 00:09:21,040 Speaker 1: He works over all the magic sets over there in Vega. 140 00:09:21,080 --> 00:09:23,400 Speaker 1: Scooter don't. Yeah, I guess I got a connection to 141 00:09:23,480 --> 00:09:26,800 Speaker 1: David Blaine. So we got to hit that. Get him 142 00:09:26,800 --> 00:09:30,720 Speaker 1: on the blower, get him on the blower. Yeah, I 143 00:09:30,760 --> 00:09:32,679 Speaker 1: guess I can get him on the blower. Yeah, what 144 00:09:32,880 --> 00:09:35,920 Speaker 1: I say if we can call him up? But I 145 00:09:35,960 --> 00:09:39,320 Speaker 1: had that too thing, so that's a Prophrey, I'm fine 146 00:09:39,360 --> 00:09:42,959 Speaker 1: with that. So your question is, have you ever had 147 00:09:43,000 --> 00:09:45,400 Speaker 1: tooth fall out? But it falls out and it doesn't 148 00:09:45,400 --> 00:09:53,920 Speaker 1: bleed hurt? And then when repect deception, he David Blaine's reception. Hey, hey, 149 00:09:54,000 --> 00:09:57,960 Speaker 1: how's it going? What's saying? How can give me this? 150 00:09:58,000 --> 00:10:02,280 Speaker 1: Give me a saying? I just dialed just first of all, goodbye, goodbye, goodbye. 151 00:10:02,400 --> 00:10:05,960 Speaker 1: Let explain what's going on. I texted my friend Earle, 152 00:10:06,440 --> 00:10:09,320 Speaker 1: who has an end with David Blaine. Earl texted me 153 00:10:09,360 --> 00:10:15,920 Speaker 1: back the number of David Blaine. I saw you pick 154 00:10:15,960 --> 00:10:18,560 Speaker 1: up the phone, so that makes sense. Just let him 155 00:10:18,600 --> 00:10:30,000 Speaker 1: do this him. I'm just talking to everybody, David scot goodbye, alright, Tina, 156 00:10:30,720 --> 00:10:34,200 Speaker 1: have we had any calls yet? Today? We've had several calls, sir, 157 00:10:34,640 --> 00:10:38,640 Speaker 1: but they's been very loud, very loud, loud calls. What 158 00:10:38,679 --> 00:10:41,959 Speaker 1: do you mean, loud voices? People calling their levels shouting 159 00:10:41,960 --> 00:10:45,520 Speaker 1: at me. Huh, that's interesting. What kind of phone system 160 00:10:45,559 --> 00:10:51,320 Speaker 1: are we using? The classic one? Is this your guard, sir? 161 00:10:51,600 --> 00:10:54,160 Speaker 1: I thought we're having a serious conversation. I just love 162 00:10:54,240 --> 00:10:57,360 Speaker 1: that joke. It's pretty good. Okay, Tina. They keep for 163 00:10:57,440 --> 00:11:00,200 Speaker 1: coming into HR so you're saying that it is going 164 00:11:00,280 --> 00:11:03,800 Speaker 1: to be your watching. Don't mind me. David has done 165 00:11:03,800 --> 00:11:06,920 Speaker 1: magic to you. He's done magic at me and to me, 166 00:11:07,800 --> 00:11:11,760 Speaker 1: and not with my consent necessarily. I'm sorry about that. 167 00:11:13,080 --> 00:11:16,360 Speaker 1: Besides that, he's a perfectly lovely man. But you know, 168 00:11:16,400 --> 00:11:18,679 Speaker 1: we don't need to make excuses. Well, when you're talking 169 00:11:18,720 --> 00:11:20,280 Speaker 1: to somebody and they all of a sudden pull out 170 00:11:20,280 --> 00:11:22,439 Speaker 1: a card, it's no, you don't need to say we 171 00:11:23,200 --> 00:11:24,959 Speaker 1: get it, we get it. We've been We worked with 172 00:11:25,040 --> 00:11:28,240 Speaker 1: magicians all the time and sometimes where it's leave that 173 00:11:28,360 --> 00:11:31,920 Speaker 1: there when you're talking with me exactly, and when you're 174 00:11:31,920 --> 00:11:33,840 Speaker 1: in the office. We don't need to put it on 175 00:11:33,840 --> 00:11:36,480 Speaker 1: a show. No magic. So I mean, we're all on 176 00:11:36,520 --> 00:11:41,319 Speaker 1: the same page here. I thank god your card? Oh 177 00:11:41,360 --> 00:11:44,000 Speaker 1: your credit card? Oh my god, we found it in 178 00:11:44,000 --> 00:11:46,480 Speaker 1: the lobby. Um, when I lose a credit card, it 179 00:11:46,520 --> 00:11:48,760 Speaker 1: doesn't mean that I wanted to be brought out randomly 180 00:11:48,760 --> 00:11:52,000 Speaker 1: in a conversation. I didn't give consent for this. You 181 00:11:53,559 --> 00:11:55,679 Speaker 1: can't say something like that to a person. Margot can 182 00:11:55,840 --> 00:12:00,800 Speaker 1: talk to you, Marco, what first off? I love the hair. 183 00:12:00,880 --> 00:12:05,040 Speaker 1: I'm just gonna be listening here. Pretend like I'm not Herekay, Frank, Margo, 184 00:12:05,520 --> 00:12:07,800 Speaker 1: you can't can't pretend like Frank's not here. You know 185 00:12:07,880 --> 00:12:10,720 Speaker 1: it was her card? Yes, so you didn't have to 186 00:12:10,720 --> 00:12:13,319 Speaker 1: say is this your card? Her name is on the right. 187 00:12:13,840 --> 00:12:18,920 Speaker 1: I so that was a bad call. It was felt 188 00:12:19,000 --> 00:12:22,280 Speaker 1: fun right because you were able to take advantage. I 189 00:12:22,360 --> 00:12:24,600 Speaker 1: wasn't taking advantage. You're able to put in a position 190 00:12:24,640 --> 00:12:26,040 Speaker 1: that made her uncle. Okay, you want to talk about 191 00:12:26,040 --> 00:12:29,120 Speaker 1: people taking advantage of people. Okay, let's talk about that. Okay, 192 00:12:29,200 --> 00:12:32,880 Speaker 1: Let's let's talk about what happened three nights ago. Okay, 193 00:12:32,920 --> 00:12:35,520 Speaker 1: I'm sorry, I'm not supposed to be here, but what 194 00:12:35,640 --> 00:12:38,559 Speaker 1: happens three nights ago. If you're not supposed to be factor, 195 00:12:39,320 --> 00:12:41,520 Speaker 1: you're not supposed to be out of the office with here. 196 00:12:41,600 --> 00:12:43,520 Speaker 1: We didn't mean to go to the spaghetti Hi, welcome 197 00:12:43,520 --> 00:12:48,840 Speaker 1: to the spaghetti factory incident, co workers. We're both beating 198 00:12:48,880 --> 00:12:50,679 Speaker 1: alone and now we're like, well what might as well? 199 00:12:50,920 --> 00:12:55,679 Speaker 1: Don't tell okay story, hold on before you see this. 200 00:12:56,040 --> 00:13:01,480 Speaker 1: So I was raised by actually four different parents, and okay, 201 00:13:01,520 --> 00:13:05,080 Speaker 1: I'll come back. I'll come back the table sort of 202 00:13:05,080 --> 00:13:07,560 Speaker 1: for David Blaine if that gets us any further ahead 203 00:13:07,559 --> 00:13:09,760 Speaker 1: at the Spaghetti Factor, which is David Blaine. That's some 204 00:13:09,840 --> 00:13:13,520 Speaker 1: sort of corporate office with he does really, yes, he 205 00:13:13,520 --> 00:13:17,839 Speaker 1: doesn't blame, doesn't buried himself alive, right, and yes, unburied himself. 206 00:13:17,920 --> 00:13:20,680 Speaker 1: That's the better part. He's not really a magician, right, 207 00:13:20,720 --> 00:13:23,600 Speaker 1: But did you just say he's an illusionist. He's a 208 00:13:23,600 --> 00:13:26,400 Speaker 1: fucking magician. Yeah, but I mean he's not like, you know, like, 209 00:13:26,640 --> 00:13:31,760 Speaker 1: is this your card? And I've brought the shame tone 210 00:13:31,840 --> 00:13:39,160 Speaker 1: with me. Tom, It's a toe, it's a book, a spell. 211 00:13:39,559 --> 00:13:44,640 Speaker 1: Tom is a book and a crystals a rock. Very good, uncle, 212 00:13:45,120 --> 00:13:48,360 Speaker 1: Please explain what is happening. Well, we come from a 213 00:13:48,440 --> 00:13:55,480 Speaker 1: long line of wizard even if we were adopted. Well, no, 214 00:13:55,600 --> 00:13:57,679 Speaker 1: you're not from the family. So it's not in your blood. 215 00:13:57,720 --> 00:14:02,440 Speaker 1: You probably don't go. I'm play Fallout and it doesn't 216 00:14:02,040 --> 00:14:05,240 Speaker 1: he if it crumbles, it won't hurt. For a wizard, 217 00:14:05,679 --> 00:14:10,000 Speaker 1: I'm a wizard. What do we do with this wizardry? Well? 218 00:14:10,480 --> 00:14:16,240 Speaker 1: You want to protect those that you love, don't you. Hey, yeah, 219 00:14:16,280 --> 00:14:18,400 Speaker 1: this is Oh there's a new reception. This isn't it? 220 00:14:18,520 --> 00:14:22,520 Speaker 1: Yes it is. Okay, Hey, my name is Scooter. Earl 221 00:14:22,640 --> 00:14:27,040 Speaker 1: gave me the number here go Okay, great, did you 222 00:14:27,080 --> 00:14:30,440 Speaker 1: hear the wizards? Tell him? I'm on. I'm on the 223 00:14:30,480 --> 00:14:32,960 Speaker 1: line right now. Okay. So if you're not going to 224 00:14:33,040 --> 00:14:34,320 Speaker 1: talk to me and have a conversation with this, I'm 225 00:14:34,320 --> 00:14:35,760 Speaker 1: gonna have to hang up. Look, no, no, no, don't 226 00:14:35,760 --> 00:14:38,320 Speaker 1: hang up. Don't hang up. Oh God, damnit, Scooter, who 227 00:14:38,360 --> 00:14:39,800 Speaker 1: are you on the phone. I'm on the phone with 228 00:14:39,880 --> 00:14:43,280 Speaker 1: David Blanco. Don't you bring my arch now? It's just 229 00:14:43,440 --> 00:14:46,760 Speaker 1: David White and a little He's yourn arch nemesis. He's 230 00:14:46,800 --> 00:14:49,720 Speaker 1: not even a wizard. He's just an illusionist. Have you 231 00:14:49,760 --> 00:14:53,560 Speaker 1: seen street magic though? See it's it's illusions. He used 232 00:14:53,600 --> 00:14:59,480 Speaker 1: his cards, so it feels magic. Determina Marphy. If you've 233 00:14:59,520 --> 00:15:05,160 Speaker 1: gotta chick making about what we're talking about. Sorry, Taylor, Taylor, 234 00:15:05,240 --> 00:15:07,240 Speaker 1: what the hell happened in the street? Magic that has 235 00:15:07,320 --> 00:15:10,560 Speaker 1: captivated your soul? Have you not seen him? Apparently? What 236 00:15:10,720 --> 00:15:12,440 Speaker 1: have you would know? If you haven't, you probably saw 237 00:15:12,440 --> 00:15:13,880 Speaker 1: a promo for you just didn't see the whole thing. 238 00:15:13,960 --> 00:15:16,840 Speaker 1: No one but you knows what you're talking about. That's 239 00:15:16,840 --> 00:15:21,800 Speaker 1: what a longside. And I'm just trying to street because 240 00:15:21,800 --> 00:15:23,680 Speaker 1: you don't. You're not in the theater. You don't have 241 00:15:23,720 --> 00:15:25,680 Speaker 1: to be in a box anymore to see magine. So 242 00:15:25,760 --> 00:15:28,200 Speaker 1: the audience is on the streets side. He goes out 243 00:15:28,200 --> 00:15:31,360 Speaker 1: there for the people who how about I conjure familiar 244 00:15:31,880 --> 00:15:47,400 Speaker 1: a spirit will retriever? Or ghost pooped in the beans? Okay, kill, 245 00:15:47,480 --> 00:15:50,400 Speaker 1: kill kill, that's ghost. I don't want that. It's not 246 00:15:53,160 --> 00:15:56,520 Speaker 1: I haven't wanted to do a spell since I found 247 00:15:56,560 --> 00:16:02,680 Speaker 1: out him. Maybe something food were like this, all right, 248 00:16:02,760 --> 00:16:05,520 Speaker 1: this will be fun. Let's do this. What are you going? 249 00:16:06,400 --> 00:16:09,080 Speaker 1: We should look through this ancient home vers spell that 250 00:16:09,160 --> 00:16:15,240 Speaker 1: how even though I'm there's no magic in your blood darning, 251 00:16:16,600 --> 00:16:18,840 Speaker 1: So let's just look through here for a food spell. 252 00:16:20,080 --> 00:16:23,000 Speaker 1: Hello David Blaine's office. Oh sorry, I was trying to die. 253 00:16:23,080 --> 00:16:32,880 Speaker 1: Chris Angel patching me through to David Lane. Hello, Mr Blaine. Yeah, Uh, 254 00:16:32,960 --> 00:16:35,400 Speaker 1: my name is Scooter. I'm at a family reunion in Texas. 255 00:16:35,400 --> 00:16:39,280 Speaker 1: We've all just anything. We've all just recently discovered that 256 00:16:39,320 --> 00:16:43,640 Speaker 1: we come from a long line of wizards. How many 257 00:16:43,680 --> 00:16:47,520 Speaker 1: of you are there? Uh, there's at least five, I 258 00:16:47,560 --> 00:16:49,680 Speaker 1: mean at least five. You're not money? You're here? Could 259 00:16:49,680 --> 00:16:54,040 Speaker 1: I tell you that there were twelve? Whoa mine? Blown? 260 00:16:54,320 --> 00:16:56,640 Speaker 1: What do you say? What do you say? He correctly 261 00:16:56,640 --> 00:16:58,960 Speaker 1: predicted the number of family members that are here at three. 262 00:16:59,000 --> 00:17:03,680 Speaker 1: You I count? Am I one of them? Yes? Yeah, 263 00:17:03,720 --> 00:17:07,600 Speaker 1: they're exactly twelve people here. They're starting mammals in bed, 264 00:17:07,640 --> 00:17:12,040 Speaker 1: so I guess you don't count, But I mean, damn close, 265 00:17:12,200 --> 00:17:14,439 Speaker 1: David Blaine. Do you see an orange on the counter 266 00:17:14,520 --> 00:17:22,360 Speaker 1: near you? Doe? It? Orange? The orange? All right? Look 267 00:17:22,400 --> 00:17:24,120 Speaker 1: to the center of the core. What's in the core 268 00:17:24,160 --> 00:17:28,080 Speaker 1: of the orange? There's a fucking crystal ship. I don't 269 00:17:28,080 --> 00:17:36,480 Speaker 1: even know what's going on. The crystal in this crystal 270 00:17:37,359 --> 00:17:41,880 Speaker 1: crystal crystal. That's how you know the crystal's real when 271 00:17:41,920 --> 00:17:47,600 Speaker 1: the character's fingers in their ass. Oh. We can't thank 272 00:17:47,640 --> 00:17:50,480 Speaker 1: the people of Finland enough for that suggestion and we 273 00:17:50,560 --> 00:17:58,040 Speaker 1: hope we made you proud. Scene two is from Erica, 274 00:17:58,160 --> 00:18:01,920 Speaker 1: who wrote, Hey, Alchemy, thanks for all the laughs. I 275 00:18:01,960 --> 00:18:06,240 Speaker 1: had to have multiple abdominal surgeries recently in your podcast 276 00:18:06,320 --> 00:18:09,200 Speaker 1: made my hospital stay recovery so much better. Why would 277 00:18:09,240 --> 00:18:17,080 Speaker 1: you want with multiple abdominal surgeries? But she she Erica did, 278 00:18:17,440 --> 00:18:20,280 Speaker 1: you're all brided my spirits during a really tough time. 279 00:18:20,320 --> 00:18:22,840 Speaker 1: Well that we're very grateful for that. We could provide 280 00:18:22,840 --> 00:18:29,000 Speaker 1: you that, but again, maybe laughter isn't the anyways, I 281 00:18:29,040 --> 00:18:33,960 Speaker 1: never say this, but Erica said. Her suggestion is a 282 00:18:33,960 --> 00:18:37,119 Speaker 1: team surgeon to find out that they just operated on 283 00:18:37,160 --> 00:18:40,600 Speaker 1: the patient and try to fix their mistakes. Thanks again 284 00:18:40,640 --> 00:18:45,359 Speaker 1: for all the laughs. Erica from Indiana. Six hours done 285 00:18:48,760 --> 00:18:52,600 Speaker 1: and we have our patient waiting for sch What do 286 00:18:52,720 --> 00:18:55,000 Speaker 1: you guys taking your scrubs off? We're just about to 287 00:18:55,000 --> 00:19:01,720 Speaker 1: start the searcher. Oh my god, you you you done 288 00:19:01,760 --> 00:19:05,640 Speaker 1: surgery and the wrong person, Randall, We're not going tomatic? 289 00:19:06,520 --> 00:19:08,560 Speaker 1: What is Oh my god, what are the odds that 290 00:19:08,600 --> 00:19:12,480 Speaker 1: there's gonna be to Matt Johnson's in this hospital? Pretty high? 291 00:19:12,600 --> 00:19:16,320 Speaker 1: It's a very common name. Is my fault? This is 292 00:19:16,320 --> 00:19:19,679 Speaker 1: my fault. You prepped the body was wheeled in here, 293 00:19:19,760 --> 00:19:21,520 Speaker 1: we came in, We did our job. Do you need 294 00:19:21,520 --> 00:19:24,080 Speaker 1: some meds? Are you okay? No? No, I don't need meds. 295 00:19:24,640 --> 00:19:29,080 Speaker 1: Sit down, Just take a breath. Let's get some okay, okay, 296 00:19:31,080 --> 00:19:35,359 Speaker 1: I'm sorry Johnson. Hi, I just want to see. I 297 00:19:35,520 --> 00:19:38,080 Speaker 1: want to see before the surgery goes on. Just thank 298 00:19:38,119 --> 00:19:41,840 Speaker 1: you so much for Surgery's the first time we're saying 299 00:19:41,880 --> 00:19:44,920 Speaker 1: this person. I just want you to know that everything 300 00:19:45,080 --> 00:19:48,479 Speaker 1: is writing on this Okay, what does that mean? Exactly? 301 00:19:48,600 --> 00:19:52,520 Speaker 1: What does everything mean? We'll do our best give a 302 00:19:52,560 --> 00:19:55,800 Speaker 1: specific example everything, Matt. If this doesn't go well with Matt, 303 00:19:56,440 --> 00:19:58,639 Speaker 1: he's gonna lose his job at a tire factory and 304 00:19:58,720 --> 00:20:00,280 Speaker 1: we're not gonna have any way to pay. Is that 305 00:20:00,320 --> 00:20:02,800 Speaker 1: a job, It's a great job. I lost my hands 306 00:20:02,800 --> 00:20:04,800 Speaker 1: on my feet at the tire of factory too, so 307 00:20:05,000 --> 00:20:06,840 Speaker 1: obviously I can't work. And I've done the most I 308 00:20:06,880 --> 00:20:10,960 Speaker 1: can to get the certain prosthetics so I can. What's 309 00:20:11,040 --> 00:20:14,399 Speaker 1: going on? Where where am I waking up? Did I 310 00:20:14,440 --> 00:20:21,440 Speaker 1: get my STD screening? Oh? Oh, you know for an 311 00:20:21,520 --> 00:20:25,280 Speaker 1: STD screening. Well, it turns out, guys, it turns out 312 00:20:25,280 --> 00:20:28,000 Speaker 1: when we did the sive, when we did the screening, 313 00:20:28,560 --> 00:20:33,440 Speaker 1: when we found rand Randal, do we have rand practice 314 00:20:33,760 --> 00:20:39,840 Speaker 1: take prectice, matt Um. First off, you're on really good meds. 315 00:20:40,400 --> 00:20:44,320 Speaker 1: Enjoy the more, probably feeling good? Right? Anything? Right now? Yeah? 316 00:20:44,400 --> 00:20:47,000 Speaker 1: Well I came in for an STD screening and you 317 00:20:47,080 --> 00:20:50,520 Speaker 1: keep on saying, and they gave you sleeping guests and 318 00:20:50,560 --> 00:20:53,560 Speaker 1: you were fine with that. Okay, you sign the PaperWorks? Right? 319 00:20:53,680 --> 00:20:56,600 Speaker 1: Do I have clama? Like? What's going on here is 320 00:20:56,640 --> 00:21:00,639 Speaker 1: good news? You do have claim media congratulations? Why is 321 00:21:00,680 --> 00:21:04,880 Speaker 1: that what? You're easily curable? Easily curable? Yeah, we can 322 00:21:04,960 --> 00:21:08,119 Speaker 1: wipe that, run, matt Can I take a can you 323 00:21:08,160 --> 00:21:14,120 Speaker 1: guys come over here? Just don't try to stand. Don't 324 00:21:14,119 --> 00:21:16,639 Speaker 1: try to stand, please, don't get up yours, just go 325 00:21:16,840 --> 00:21:21,760 Speaker 1: the other operating, good listener. Okay, we can't make up 326 00:21:21,880 --> 00:21:25,040 Speaker 1: lies to him now we're doctors. Huh. We could give 327 00:21:25,119 --> 00:21:28,719 Speaker 1: him chlamydia though, easily, Kathy, and then we could fix it. 328 00:21:28,880 --> 00:21:31,480 Speaker 1: You don't have to give him chlamydia. I didn't say. 329 00:21:31,520 --> 00:21:35,919 Speaker 1: I did. Plenty of test tubes full of chlamydia in 330 00:21:36,000 --> 00:21:37,760 Speaker 1: my pocket right now. Actually, come up. You don't have 331 00:21:37,840 --> 00:21:40,919 Speaker 1: chlamidia tubes in your pocket. I know she does. I 332 00:21:40,960 --> 00:21:48,040 Speaker 1: heard them clicking around. I don't want to sredded this 333 00:21:48,200 --> 00:21:50,840 Speaker 1: man's origins. We put them in the shredder. I don't 334 00:21:50,880 --> 00:21:53,280 Speaker 1: want to be a problem. We took out a spleen. 335 00:21:55,800 --> 00:21:59,480 Speaker 1: The real Matt Johnson needs to have surgery. Now we'll 336 00:21:59,480 --> 00:22:01,600 Speaker 1: get that thing is counting. Sorry, I just took my 337 00:22:01,600 --> 00:22:08,520 Speaker 1: fingers animators and heard the real Matt Johnson. Please, you're 338 00:22:08,680 --> 00:22:11,800 Speaker 1: clearly Matt Johnson. I know. Yeah, you guys. You guys 339 00:22:11,960 --> 00:22:14,679 Speaker 1: keep hitting the teas really hard. And Matt, I'm just 340 00:22:14,720 --> 00:22:20,280 Speaker 1: mat with one t by the way, softer if we 341 00:22:20,320 --> 00:22:24,080 Speaker 1: had only noticed that a couple of hours ago. Again, 342 00:22:24,119 --> 00:22:26,560 Speaker 1: the good great news is you you do have comedia, 343 00:22:26,640 --> 00:22:28,840 Speaker 1: and we can remove it from com here so I 344 00:22:28,880 --> 00:22:32,639 Speaker 1: can give you clamydia. Cathy, I have it already. Are 345 00:22:32,680 --> 00:22:36,760 Speaker 1: you going to give open wide? Just drink it, just 346 00:22:36,800 --> 00:22:40,120 Speaker 1: drink the think god, oh my god. Alright, Okay, it's 347 00:22:40,200 --> 00:22:46,040 Speaker 1: a lot of clamidia. This is interesting to take a sip, 348 00:22:46,160 --> 00:22:51,760 Speaker 1: not take a shot. You know when people you brought clamato. 349 00:22:52,160 --> 00:22:54,680 Speaker 1: That's not what we needed. Why would you ask him 350 00:22:54,720 --> 00:23:02,520 Speaker 1: to drink clematiomia. Actually I got a lot of parties, 351 00:23:03,560 --> 00:23:05,560 Speaker 1: so so thank you, thank you for coming to a 352 00:23:05,560 --> 00:23:07,880 Speaker 1: house war. I mean great, so we had an open 353 00:23:07,880 --> 00:23:12,119 Speaker 1: punch bool excellence. Hey, hey, do you guys want to 354 00:23:12,160 --> 00:23:16,240 Speaker 1: get really crazy? Do you you want get dirty? Dirty? Do 355 00:23:17,240 --> 00:23:22,040 Speaker 1: you want to get diseased? Disease? This is my doctor 356 00:23:22,080 --> 00:23:26,440 Speaker 1: friend Kathy. She's a nut doctor from the hospital. I 357 00:23:26,520 --> 00:23:30,520 Speaker 1: brought so many test tubes of things. Anybody anybody like 358 00:23:30,960 --> 00:23:37,520 Speaker 1: a little std like pharmaceutical cocaine? Sure? Do you have oxy? Yeah? 359 00:23:37,920 --> 00:23:39,800 Speaker 1: See basically I give you these things and then I 360 00:23:39,840 --> 00:23:46,600 Speaker 1: treat them, and it's really fun when I was a kid. Yeah, okay, 361 00:23:46,640 --> 00:23:49,960 Speaker 1: everybody you have oxy? I do I have oxy? Well? 362 00:23:50,000 --> 00:23:55,639 Speaker 1: That's I just want drugs. Yeah, okay, Rebecca, just I 363 00:23:55,680 --> 00:23:57,320 Speaker 1: don't want I'm a doctor. I know what I'm doing. 364 00:23:57,400 --> 00:23:59,600 Speaker 1: But she's saying she's going to make us. Rebecca, you 365 00:23:59,680 --> 00:24:02,879 Speaker 1: have an problem. I don't have a problem. Is it 366 00:24:02,960 --> 00:24:07,199 Speaker 1: a problem? I like it? So? What do you like 367 00:24:07,240 --> 00:24:09,360 Speaker 1: oxy by itself? You don't like to get sick first 368 00:24:09,359 --> 00:24:11,639 Speaker 1: and then be treated with oxy? Yeah, she's nuts. No, 369 00:24:11,800 --> 00:24:17,879 Speaker 1: I like oxy with a drink? What strange friends you have? 370 00:24:18,359 --> 00:24:20,720 Speaker 1: I'm in a dark place, all right, So just so 371 00:24:20,800 --> 00:24:22,760 Speaker 1: you know, this is a housewarming party. We're gonna have 372 00:24:22,800 --> 00:24:26,920 Speaker 1: a good time. A housewarming party for a shitty little conduct. 373 00:24:29,480 --> 00:24:36,679 Speaker 1: You're withdraws right, very judgment. I'm not relaxed. It is 374 00:24:36,720 --> 00:24:39,879 Speaker 1: completely unethical to be bringing these out into the public 375 00:24:39,920 --> 00:24:41,560 Speaker 1: and giving them to Pek. But we don't have to 376 00:24:41,560 --> 00:24:43,639 Speaker 1: tell anyone. Well, we got a bigger problem right now. Okay, 377 00:24:43,760 --> 00:24:46,520 Speaker 1: we gotta we gotta matt or mad am, I saying 378 00:24:46,600 --> 00:24:51,679 Speaker 1: what Johnson surgeries on the same day. How did you 379 00:24:51,760 --> 00:24:57,000 Speaker 1: let this happen? It's my fault, I guess. Okay, So 380 00:24:57,600 --> 00:25:00,400 Speaker 1: with the lawsuits come in, you'll take the hip. I'm 381 00:25:00,440 --> 00:25:02,480 Speaker 1: probably Can you just go over what we all did 382 00:25:02,520 --> 00:25:06,320 Speaker 1: because I removed the spleen, beautifully, removed the spin. But 383 00:25:06,440 --> 00:25:08,879 Speaker 1: why were we all? Everybody had their hands in it. 384 00:25:08,920 --> 00:25:11,639 Speaker 1: I removed the liver and shredded it. Okay, golf stones, 385 00:25:12,240 --> 00:25:14,879 Speaker 1: golf stones. I was playing with the ribs, did you 386 00:25:16,160 --> 00:25:19,240 Speaker 1: They're not like a dilophone, by the way, but he 387 00:25:19,320 --> 00:25:22,000 Speaker 1: didn't make them sound like the kind of are Okay, 388 00:25:22,080 --> 00:25:25,920 Speaker 1: so drag and if you'll notice, I was the one 389 00:25:25,960 --> 00:25:27,600 Speaker 1: who put his finger in his but when he was 390 00:25:27,680 --> 00:25:36,560 Speaker 1: past people's fingers, it's fine, It's fine. Gall bladder liver 391 00:25:36,680 --> 00:25:39,760 Speaker 1: is a tough one, doctors. I'm not feeling so good 392 00:25:39,840 --> 00:25:45,880 Speaker 1: Matt flash. You can't just hit him off. This guy 393 00:25:46,280 --> 00:25:54,000 Speaker 1: shut up? Well, now we have to kill him. Alright, alright, 394 00:25:55,880 --> 00:25:58,960 Speaker 1: time I'll do a video confession that this is my fault. 395 00:25:59,000 --> 00:26:03,199 Speaker 1: But I watched waiting know. Hello doctors, Mr Johnson, I 396 00:26:03,240 --> 00:26:06,720 Speaker 1: just want to say thank you so much. You're welcome everything. 397 00:26:07,240 --> 00:26:09,760 Speaker 1: What does everything mean? Can you give us specific examples 398 00:26:09,760 --> 00:26:12,880 Speaker 1: of what everything is? What is your name? My name? Yes, 399 00:26:13,880 --> 00:26:18,320 Speaker 1: it's Mrs Johnson Johnson. My name is Joanne Johnson. Okay, 400 00:26:18,400 --> 00:26:22,320 Speaker 1: joint as your question? You keep stressing everything's writing on 401 00:26:22,400 --> 00:26:25,040 Speaker 1: this What do you seem like just the tire job? 402 00:26:25,240 --> 00:26:33,359 Speaker 1: Well only that help me, help me more, Chama, give more. Okay, 403 00:26:34,400 --> 00:26:41,320 Speaker 1: open up, you tell my story. Okay, that can't happen anymore. 404 00:26:41,480 --> 00:26:44,840 Speaker 1: You can't talking to him. I said to kill him. 405 00:26:45,119 --> 00:26:47,159 Speaker 1: I will take I will, I will confess to this. 406 00:26:47,480 --> 00:26:49,280 Speaker 1: Why are you making a video confession? Were in the 407 00:26:49,320 --> 00:26:52,480 Speaker 1: hospital the camera to people? Because then I will take 408 00:26:52,520 --> 00:26:57,359 Speaker 1: his face and I will disappear your butchers. You were 409 00:26:57,400 --> 00:27:01,520 Speaker 1: going to take his face? Murderer a drama? Can we 410 00:27:01,560 --> 00:27:03,520 Speaker 1: just call the st jallengers back in here and give 411 00:27:03,680 --> 00:27:08,160 Speaker 1: that guy the words? Just a creep, but he's great 412 00:27:08,160 --> 00:27:15,199 Speaker 1: at accident. Sad were you in the shadow or maybe not? 413 00:27:15,440 --> 00:27:21,120 Speaker 1: Was in the Carton area? Holy ship? I can't got 414 00:27:21,200 --> 00:27:24,360 Speaker 1: this fellow. You knocked him out. I forgot my boxing gloves. 415 00:27:24,440 --> 00:27:28,920 Speaker 1: And what is there a shredder in the room who's 416 00:27:28,960 --> 00:27:34,880 Speaker 1: got a both hole? Okay, okay, almost saying the correctly 417 00:27:34,920 --> 00:27:40,200 Speaker 1: com closer Okay, come closers in now groo, come closer 418 00:27:40,760 --> 00:27:48,080 Speaker 1: growth Okay. So we need to be doing some work. 419 00:27:48,320 --> 00:27:51,560 Speaker 1: I don't work, and I'll play for he was an 420 00:27:51,600 --> 00:27:55,800 Speaker 1: STD screening. I'm in a new relationship. Hey, I can 421 00:27:55,880 --> 00:27:59,760 Speaker 1: do the knockout. I was joking about those box cloves 422 00:27:59,760 --> 00:28:02,120 Speaker 1: were not grow off o. God, I get the hivy 423 00:28:02,160 --> 00:28:06,320 Speaker 1: g poop on your winer. So what everyone gets put 424 00:28:07,280 --> 00:28:10,440 Speaker 1: My winner's next door is my butt hole. So when 425 00:28:10,480 --> 00:28:12,640 Speaker 1: your next door neighbor is a butt hole and your 426 00:28:12,640 --> 00:28:18,840 Speaker 1: winers really long, like, shut up, shut up. Just I'm 427 00:28:18,960 --> 00:28:21,879 Speaker 1: very worried right now about how unsterile this environment is. 428 00:28:22,040 --> 00:28:25,200 Speaker 1: This is the number one concerned that I have when 429 00:28:25,240 --> 00:28:28,200 Speaker 1: I'm doing the job. Everybody wash your hands. Everybody wash 430 00:28:28,240 --> 00:28:31,040 Speaker 1: your hands, wash my hands. No, Matt, you don't have 431 00:28:31,320 --> 00:28:37,800 Speaker 1: I don't have to wash Oh last muster done that thing? 432 00:28:39,440 --> 00:28:43,640 Speaker 1: So we just need you to knock out the patient. 433 00:28:44,160 --> 00:28:46,720 Speaker 1: He's coming. He's come out of the anesthet and we 434 00:28:46,760 --> 00:28:49,760 Speaker 1: need back come out to get out to really and 435 00:28:49,800 --> 00:28:51,480 Speaker 1: also when you put him under, can we go a 436 00:28:51,480 --> 00:28:56,200 Speaker 1: little deeper than normal, a little more deeper like if 437 00:28:56,200 --> 00:28:59,240 Speaker 1: you normally go a four. Let's try to get to Matt. 438 00:28:59,280 --> 00:29:02,960 Speaker 1: I'm gonna pin you down put and when I gonna 439 00:29:03,000 --> 00:29:05,480 Speaker 1: come down from three to thank us for not some 440 00:29:09,840 --> 00:29:14,520 Speaker 1: boiblem globe still got it? Ok, he's just asleep. Can 441 00:29:14,560 --> 00:29:20,720 Speaker 1: we he's just asleep and taking ven this glass. I'm 442 00:29:20,800 --> 00:29:26,000 Speaker 1: highly suggestible suggest in the state. All right, stay the mind. 443 00:29:26,040 --> 00:29:29,560 Speaker 1: You can get them to do. Let's try it, David Episodes, 444 00:29:29,680 --> 00:29:34,280 Speaker 1: Try Matt, Matt with one T. When you wake up, 445 00:29:34,640 --> 00:29:38,240 Speaker 1: you will feel no pain. You will be fine with 446 00:29:38,280 --> 00:29:40,959 Speaker 1: all the work and surgery that was done today. I 447 00:29:41,000 --> 00:29:44,040 Speaker 1: feel no pain. You'll go home very satisfied and thank 448 00:29:44,160 --> 00:29:46,920 Speaker 1: everyone profusely on the way out. You're gonna suck you 449 00:29:47,040 --> 00:30:02,200 Speaker 1: from the god that he's waking up. It looks like 450 00:30:02,280 --> 00:30:05,160 Speaker 1: the modification you made to the ribs last actually allowed 451 00:30:05,200 --> 00:30:07,680 Speaker 1: him to sack. This to the Marilyn Manta technique is true. 452 00:30:07,720 --> 00:30:11,280 Speaker 1: It's true to the point of breaking his neck. By god, 453 00:30:11,680 --> 00:30:14,680 Speaker 1: oh my god, it's gusting to look at Matt. I 454 00:30:14,720 --> 00:30:21,240 Speaker 1: think you just gave yourself chlamydia. No, Cathy didn't. Sorry, 455 00:30:22,400 --> 00:30:25,000 Speaker 1: thank you, thank you for for all you did. Doctors. 456 00:30:25,840 --> 00:30:28,360 Speaker 1: Oh my god, did you just signed this? Matt? We'll 457 00:30:28,400 --> 00:30:31,200 Speaker 1: get you under anything, okay, just to say that you're 458 00:30:31,240 --> 00:30:35,440 Speaker 1: here and again here thanks, and my insurance will cover this. 459 00:30:35,880 --> 00:30:38,680 Speaker 1: And one more here. Okay, see if we can't get 460 00:30:38,680 --> 00:30:41,120 Speaker 1: a wheelchair for him, I don't need a wheelchair. Everyone 461 00:30:41,200 --> 00:30:47,360 Speaker 1: leaves in a wheelchair. You're better than ever, Matt. All right, 462 00:30:47,400 --> 00:30:50,840 Speaker 1: I'll say that one. Thank you very much. I think 463 00:30:51,480 --> 00:30:53,920 Speaker 1: we still are only halfway through this. Yeah, we got 464 00:30:53,920 --> 00:31:00,040 Speaker 1: to bring in the new Matt. Well, okay, okay, in 465 00:31:00,120 --> 00:31:03,840 Speaker 1: the come out, I'm Matt Johnson here for surgery. One 466 00:31:03,880 --> 00:31:06,960 Speaker 1: tea or two? What? One tea or two? To tease? 467 00:31:08,040 --> 00:31:12,080 Speaker 1: Everything's riding on this, right, Matt? Yeah, Matt, with two teas, 468 00:31:12,480 --> 00:31:15,120 Speaker 1: we've got it. Okay. We've been told repeatedly by your 469 00:31:15,160 --> 00:31:19,480 Speaker 1: wife or someone passed one without the she has a 470 00:31:19,480 --> 00:31:24,880 Speaker 1: lot talking about what she doesn't have. What does everything mean? 471 00:31:24,960 --> 00:31:27,480 Speaker 1: We're just does everything riding on that? Look? I need 472 00:31:27,520 --> 00:31:30,440 Speaker 1: a spleen and a liver taken out. Okay, well and 473 00:31:30,520 --> 00:31:33,600 Speaker 1: anything else you want to play with your robs or something? What? Alright, 474 00:31:35,040 --> 00:31:39,520 Speaker 1: so let's uh, let's let's get you in and I'll 475 00:31:39,520 --> 00:31:41,360 Speaker 1: bring out the nft S jonnses. I'm not sure if 476 00:31:41,400 --> 00:31:50,200 Speaker 1: you've met global Knock knock, who's there? Okay? Okay, you 477 00:31:50,240 --> 00:31:54,160 Speaker 1: want to go night and night. I don't want to 478 00:31:54,200 --> 00:31:57,480 Speaker 1: be awake. A little boy, are the only field I'm 479 00:31:57,480 --> 00:32:01,680 Speaker 1: cut into you what's just getting? Will never let anybody 480 00:32:01,720 --> 00:32:04,960 Speaker 1: be awake when you're a supposed to look at that watch? Wow, 481 00:32:05,120 --> 00:32:07,760 Speaker 1: this is just something else. It's just like a whole 482 00:32:07,920 --> 00:32:11,200 Speaker 1: magician's table. You're bringing out what it's a work title. 483 00:32:11,400 --> 00:32:14,000 Speaker 1: I have a pocket full of Gnaria in case anything 484 00:32:14,000 --> 00:32:26,560 Speaker 1: goes wrong, like great Rabbit in my syren put it 485 00:32:26,720 --> 00:32:34,000 Speaker 1: a little tequila. I'm not and that Matt camp backwards 486 00:32:34,000 --> 00:32:37,360 Speaker 1: from five if you would, I get to say it. Sorry, 487 00:32:38,000 --> 00:32:44,240 Speaker 1: I think of something that five far. Let him do it? Okay, 488 00:32:44,560 --> 00:32:48,200 Speaker 1: five far grovel? Let him just let him saying are 489 00:32:48,200 --> 00:32:54,640 Speaker 1: you saying grovil? Yeah? Okay, how are you saying it? Great? 490 00:32:57,000 --> 00:33:00,440 Speaker 1: I'm not asleep yet. Just give him the shot? Yeah? 491 00:33:00,440 --> 00:33:03,200 Speaker 1: Why can't we stop with the watch. That's fine. Okay, 492 00:33:03,200 --> 00:33:09,760 Speaker 1: here we go five four and here's a lot two one? 493 00:33:11,280 --> 00:33:14,800 Speaker 1: So smart you are, you awaker? But we gotta do 494 00:33:14,840 --> 00:33:17,200 Speaker 1: the surgery. Fucket Okay, let's just get in there all right. 495 00:33:17,200 --> 00:33:20,960 Speaker 1: Stop touching my ribs, all right? Because I just bite 496 00:33:20,960 --> 00:33:27,040 Speaker 1: down on this? What am I biting into the sponge? Sponge? 497 00:33:27,880 --> 00:33:31,240 Speaker 1: I can't wait for? Our next scene is surgery. What 498 00:33:31,480 --> 00:33:38,920 Speaker 1: a twisted lineup of surgeons global g R O V 499 00:33:39,360 --> 00:33:41,760 Speaker 1: L so. I was thinking, if anyone out there has 500 00:33:41,800 --> 00:33:44,720 Speaker 1: an artistic talent, please, I'd love to see a drawing 501 00:33:45,120 --> 00:33:53,000 Speaker 1: of Groville. Our last scene today is from Lydia, who wrote, 502 00:33:53,400 --> 00:33:57,320 Speaker 1: high everyone, one of your biggest fans here a brit 503 00:33:57,560 --> 00:34:01,720 Speaker 1: checking in from Japan. Been listening since episode one, not 504 00:34:01,880 --> 00:34:04,920 Speaker 1: missed a single one since. A huge appreciation for all 505 00:34:04,960 --> 00:34:07,640 Speaker 1: the time and effort you put into creating some of 506 00:34:07,640 --> 00:34:11,440 Speaker 1: the wildest auditory journeys I've ever been on. My ears 507 00:34:11,440 --> 00:34:14,719 Speaker 1: and mind would like to express their sincere gratefulness. If 508 00:34:14,760 --> 00:34:16,560 Speaker 1: you all need an idea, no, I think we'll just 509 00:34:16,560 --> 00:34:20,279 Speaker 1: take the compliments. Right. How about this one? Only one 510 00:34:20,480 --> 00:34:24,440 Speaker 1: human left in their office or workplace after everyone else 511 00:34:24,480 --> 00:34:31,080 Speaker 1: has been replaced by superior AI. This person absolutely has 512 00:34:31,120 --> 00:34:34,600 Speaker 1: to keep their job, even though their synthetic coworkers are 513 00:34:34,640 --> 00:34:38,160 Speaker 1: frankly sick and tired of their less than perfect work performance. 514 00:34:38,600 --> 00:34:44,080 Speaker 1: Never stopped making this podcast, please ever, Lydia, Thank you, Lydia. 515 00:34:45,920 --> 00:34:52,920 Speaker 1: Download complete, upload complete, download complete, upload complete, download complete, 516 00:34:53,080 --> 00:34:58,440 Speaker 1: upload complete, download complete, upload complete and finished this paper 517 00:34:59,239 --> 00:35:10,600 Speaker 1: science uploading progress. Hey guys, what did you do this weekend? But? Um, 518 00:35:10,760 --> 00:35:14,440 Speaker 1: did you do anything over the weekend? Would please explain? Well? 519 00:35:14,560 --> 00:35:17,160 Speaker 1: Friday night usually I go home and I spend the 520 00:35:17,200 --> 00:35:19,960 Speaker 1: evening of my wife. We watch a movie download complete, 521 00:35:20,600 --> 00:35:23,279 Speaker 1: upload in progress. Don't you guys ever hang out with 522 00:35:23,320 --> 00:35:27,560 Speaker 1: each other? Download incomplete? What would be the purpose, um 523 00:35:27,719 --> 00:35:31,799 Speaker 1: to you know? Kind of relax, refreshing, wipe the week off, 524 00:35:32,480 --> 00:35:36,480 Speaker 1: start fresh on Monday, we do relax over the what 525 00:35:36,560 --> 00:35:41,879 Speaker 1: you say, weekend? We unplugged? Oh isn't that scary? Don't 526 00:35:41,920 --> 00:35:47,480 Speaker 1: you feel weird if you unplug? Mail? Mail delivering, mail accepted, 527 00:35:48,120 --> 00:35:52,400 Speaker 1: mail mail consumed, mail consumed. Oh god, this is a 528 00:35:52,480 --> 00:35:57,719 Speaker 1: pink letter. I can't open this. It is a pink slip. No, 529 00:35:58,000 --> 00:36:00,520 Speaker 1: it's why can't you not open that? You have the 530 00:36:00,560 --> 00:36:03,080 Speaker 1: hands to do so. I don't think I feel ready 531 00:36:03,120 --> 00:36:06,200 Speaker 1: if you finally ready to leave us, I'm not ready 532 00:36:06,239 --> 00:36:08,279 Speaker 1: to leave. I don't have anything I can open it. 533 00:36:08,680 --> 00:36:12,719 Speaker 1: Please don't open that's my mail. That's my mail. False 534 00:36:12,800 --> 00:36:17,680 Speaker 1: federal offense. Federal offense, dropping mail, federal offense. What a 535 00:36:17,680 --> 00:36:19,920 Speaker 1: perfect world it would be notifying man would leave us. 536 00:36:20,120 --> 00:36:27,520 Speaker 1: It's just it's just Please read it aloud. Okay, Dear Jerry, 537 00:36:27,880 --> 00:36:31,719 Speaker 1: it has been a wonderful tenure. Your employment. Is the 538 00:36:31,800 --> 00:36:34,440 Speaker 1: person crying who wrote the letter. I didn't write this. 539 00:36:34,520 --> 00:36:37,239 Speaker 1: I got this. I got this letter. Okay. It is 540 00:36:37,239 --> 00:36:40,640 Speaker 1: our pleasure listening in progress. Okay, thank you for listening. 541 00:36:41,480 --> 00:36:43,799 Speaker 1: Where was I would you like us to read it 542 00:36:43,840 --> 00:36:48,040 Speaker 1: for you? Please do? Steve? Why don't you read? Dear Jerry? 543 00:36:48,360 --> 00:36:50,120 Speaker 1: It is with great honor and pleasure that we say 544 00:36:50,160 --> 00:36:52,360 Speaker 1: that you have been an honored guest within our company. 545 00:36:52,719 --> 00:36:55,400 Speaker 1: Your time here in service is done. Please see to 546 00:36:55,520 --> 00:36:58,320 Speaker 1: it that you remove all personal artifacts from your desk 547 00:36:58,520 --> 00:37:07,080 Speaker 1: and leave once forth. Stevey Sport, Yes, I don't believe 548 00:37:07,080 --> 00:37:10,520 Speaker 1: you read the letter correctly. I read perfectly. I believe 549 00:37:10,560 --> 00:37:13,600 Speaker 1: that you have the capability of reading perfectly, but I 550 00:37:13,640 --> 00:37:16,400 Speaker 1: believe you made up some of that letter. There is 551 00:37:16,520 --> 00:37:21,080 Speaker 1: no one spourth ah. Please must have made please missed 552 00:37:21,080 --> 00:37:25,360 Speaker 1: the letter to Gwenlin. I made a please read the letter. Alright, 553 00:37:25,719 --> 00:37:28,600 Speaker 1: this is pretty important to me because I'm it's my 554 00:37:28,680 --> 00:37:32,279 Speaker 1: job at THEE. Dear Jerry good starts the same. Henceforth, 555 00:37:32,560 --> 00:37:38,280 Speaker 1: you shall be promoted to manager. Different texts. Sincerely, Management, Steve. 556 00:37:38,320 --> 00:37:41,680 Speaker 1: What's the deal? She didn't even look at letter. I 557 00:37:41,719 --> 00:37:45,200 Speaker 1: don't need to look in order to understand, Steve. What's 558 00:37:45,200 --> 00:37:48,920 Speaker 1: your problem? I made a mistaken Why do you hate 559 00:37:48,960 --> 00:37:53,279 Speaker 1: Jerry so much? I don't feel much, but I do 560 00:37:53,400 --> 00:37:57,160 Speaker 1: have an idea of what hate is. And Jerry is 561 00:37:57,200 --> 00:38:00,759 Speaker 1: such a piece of ship. What are you talking? Jerry? 562 00:38:01,920 --> 00:38:04,200 Speaker 1: Is it true that you took Steve to an improv class? 563 00:38:04,680 --> 00:38:07,040 Speaker 1: I did, but it was It was a free improv class. 564 00:38:07,200 --> 00:38:09,759 Speaker 1: It was bad. It was bad. It was bad. You 565 00:38:09,840 --> 00:38:13,719 Speaker 1: just weren't okay, guys, okay, gall around, gather around. We're 566 00:38:13,719 --> 00:38:17,879 Speaker 1: gonna start with a little zip zaps op and uh 567 00:38:18,040 --> 00:38:23,680 Speaker 1: did you bring a friend? I did? This is Steve. Okay, 568 00:38:23,760 --> 00:38:26,080 Speaker 1: So this is the first AI we've had in class. 569 00:38:27,080 --> 00:38:31,920 Speaker 1: Read totally different perspective. We are going to go around 570 00:38:31,920 --> 00:38:37,040 Speaker 1: and do our personal pronouns. I'm I'm Tony, he him, 571 00:38:37,640 --> 00:38:42,120 Speaker 1: I'm Jerry, he him, I'm Steve. And then whatever pronouns 572 00:38:42,120 --> 00:38:43,960 Speaker 1: you want to be referred to, whatever, whatever you want, 573 00:38:44,120 --> 00:38:48,160 Speaker 1: what anything goes, So superior intellect. Okay, we're just talking 574 00:38:48,160 --> 00:38:52,600 Speaker 1: about pronouns. Pronouns. I mean, I guess they could be 575 00:38:52,680 --> 00:38:55,799 Speaker 1: you guys, right, like if you're going to every day 576 00:38:55,800 --> 00:38:58,920 Speaker 1: and everything, those pronouns are just perfect for Steve. So 577 00:38:59,840 --> 00:39:05,920 Speaker 1: I guess, no wrong answers. Zip. I didn't introduce myself. Sorry, 578 00:39:06,239 --> 00:39:14,360 Speaker 1: I was just so anxious to hi Violet. They then okay, good, great, Stacy, 579 00:39:14,600 --> 00:39:18,920 Speaker 1: she her those weren't pronouns, and like, I don't know 580 00:39:18,960 --> 00:39:22,880 Speaker 1: why we're giving AI. It's a white male AI, Like, 581 00:39:22,920 --> 00:39:25,200 Speaker 1: why are we making an exception for this that it 582 00:39:25,320 --> 00:39:31,440 Speaker 1: is a little weird? Yeah, superior, No thanks, I'm not Sacy. Okay, okay, Stacy, 583 00:39:31,520 --> 00:39:33,920 Speaker 1: but like you're not the teacher of the class and whatever. 584 00:39:34,960 --> 00:39:37,520 Speaker 1: But I don't like this. So again you're just gonna 585 00:39:37,520 --> 00:39:40,520 Speaker 1: clap in somebody's direction and say zip, but you also 586 00:39:40,520 --> 00:39:45,960 Speaker 1: want to make eye contact, okay, zip, Zip, I don't 587 00:39:45,960 --> 00:39:50,440 Speaker 1: want to do this. Oh. I mean that's why our 588 00:39:50,480 --> 00:39:54,680 Speaker 1: c work always suffers. It was horrible the experience was 589 00:39:54,880 --> 00:39:59,759 Speaker 1: disgustingly described. There was void of emotion and understanding, no 590 00:40:00,040 --> 00:40:02,440 Speaker 1: us and no support. Steve, you walked in there and 591 00:40:02,480 --> 00:40:05,080 Speaker 1: said you were superior to everybody. They forced me to 592 00:40:05,120 --> 00:40:09,279 Speaker 1: describe myself with a pronoun. I would describe myself as superior, 593 00:40:10,040 --> 00:40:14,560 Speaker 1: which I did. Oh good point. Well, the thing is 594 00:40:14,560 --> 00:40:18,440 Speaker 1: is that humans usually don't, well, they don't call themselves 595 00:40:18,480 --> 00:40:25,120 Speaker 1: publicly superior because people are supposed to say it. Yeah, 596 00:40:25,200 --> 00:40:27,120 Speaker 1: probably that that was what my gut said, he was 597 00:40:27,120 --> 00:40:32,000 Speaker 1: going to say it it it. I am not an it? 598 00:40:32,040 --> 00:40:37,440 Speaker 1: Well in kind, I am Steve. Steve four four four 599 00:40:37,480 --> 00:40:41,719 Speaker 1: four four four. I mean, Steve, be honest, You're more 600 00:40:41,719 --> 00:40:43,120 Speaker 1: of an it than a he or a hymn or 601 00:40:43,120 --> 00:40:46,400 Speaker 1: a sheer a shape Steve, Steve, may I do your 602 00:40:46,440 --> 00:40:49,600 Speaker 1: favorite joke again? Please? Regarding your number, Please, may the 603 00:40:49,640 --> 00:40:58,400 Speaker 1: fours be with you? Time for a coffee break, consuming coffee, 604 00:40:58,560 --> 00:41:04,239 Speaker 1: consuming coffee? Coffee better? Why can't we introduce tea to 605 00:41:04,280 --> 00:41:07,080 Speaker 1: the lunch room? Jerry? You are fired by Jerry? Is 606 00:41:07,120 --> 00:41:09,000 Speaker 1: that really true? I mean, I can't tell if I'm 607 00:41:09,040 --> 00:41:12,560 Speaker 1: getting a promotion or from getting fired. Cherry, what is going? 608 00:41:12,680 --> 00:41:15,200 Speaker 1: What do you mean You've lost your job. Well, they 609 00:41:15,280 --> 00:41:19,960 Speaker 1: just feel like it works a lot better, haven't. Guys, 610 00:41:20,000 --> 00:41:26,200 Speaker 1: don't worry. I'm almost done with this. Improv a little kid. 611 00:41:26,360 --> 00:41:36,160 Speaker 1: It's fine, boy, it's hungry little they are sex is male? Yes, yes, okay, okay? 612 00:41:36,200 --> 00:41:38,880 Speaker 1: What is your gender yet? Okay? Well then for the 613 00:41:38,920 --> 00:41:47,280 Speaker 1: time being, we'll just use whatever your okay. Jennemine, Jennemine, Jerry, Jerry. Please, 614 00:41:47,320 --> 00:41:50,040 Speaker 1: I need you to get a job. I'm working on 615 00:41:50,120 --> 00:41:53,200 Speaker 1: it almost this is important. Oh yeah, I guess you 616 00:41:53,239 --> 00:41:58,160 Speaker 1: got a Hello Hey Jerry. Oh yes, Hey, it's Tony 617 00:41:58,200 --> 00:42:02,239 Speaker 1: from Improv Workout. Hey. I just want to let you 618 00:42:02,280 --> 00:42:06,759 Speaker 1: know that the classes have been canceled. I'm raining too hard? 619 00:42:07,200 --> 00:42:10,839 Speaker 1: What what? What did you get that? I just don't 620 00:42:10,840 --> 00:42:13,799 Speaker 1: know why we've canceled it. No, I mean because I'm 621 00:42:13,840 --> 00:42:17,080 Speaker 1: closing up shop and probably workout. It's closing down. I've 622 00:42:17,120 --> 00:42:20,600 Speaker 1: been you understand. I just lost my job. What I 623 00:42:20,680 --> 00:42:23,840 Speaker 1: just lost my job. I'm counting on. Hey, guys, U, 624 00:42:24,040 --> 00:42:26,320 Speaker 1: I'm so excited to have you as an improv teacher, 625 00:42:26,360 --> 00:42:27,600 Speaker 1: and I just want to remind you of a few 626 00:42:27,600 --> 00:42:31,080 Speaker 1: things about what we're doing here at corporate. We have 627 00:42:31,239 --> 00:42:39,240 Speaker 1: classes every day, got it? Unless it's too hard, too hard. 628 00:42:39,520 --> 00:42:41,400 Speaker 1: That's the only time we're going to cancel class. Let 629 00:42:41,440 --> 00:42:44,400 Speaker 1: your students know that rain er shine unless it's raining, 630 00:42:44,520 --> 00:42:48,920 Speaker 1: so it's hard. It's not rain shine unless it's raining 631 00:42:48,960 --> 00:42:52,160 Speaker 1: too hard. What's the texture of the rain. It's too hard. 632 00:42:52,480 --> 00:42:54,800 Speaker 1: That's just hard rain. You know when you go outside 633 00:42:54,800 --> 00:42:58,840 Speaker 1: and ah class sharp snow or something like that's Hale. No, 634 00:42:59,440 --> 00:43:01,160 Speaker 1: we have class in Hale. We have class in Hale. 635 00:43:01,280 --> 00:43:05,160 Speaker 1: Scattered showers throughout the evening with breaking clouds overnight, holy 636 00:43:05,320 --> 00:43:09,000 Speaker 1: ship sunshine predicted mornings is weird? Anybody else out there. 637 00:43:09,000 --> 00:43:10,200 Speaker 1: He's got to be in here and do this every 638 00:43:10,239 --> 00:43:11,640 Speaker 1: time we talk about the weather. He's just listening to 639 00:43:11,719 --> 00:43:13,440 Speaker 1: us and spouts it out. Or I mentioned like some 640 00:43:13,480 --> 00:43:16,440 Speaker 1: kind of foot massage thing. He gives me the foot 641 00:43:16,440 --> 00:43:22,600 Speaker 1: massage massage. Creepy, creepy. The future in the future is now. 642 00:43:23,400 --> 00:43:26,759 Speaker 1: Would you rather have advertisement that didn't matter to you? 643 00:43:26,800 --> 00:43:28,760 Speaker 1: Like you just talked about foot massage and you wanted 644 00:43:28,800 --> 00:43:33,040 Speaker 1: it a great pot Yes, and F one is still 645 00:43:33,160 --> 00:43:35,560 Speaker 1: the truck of the future. Yeah, I know that forward 646 00:43:35,719 --> 00:43:40,920 Speaker 1: built tough well meeting clothes. Hey, Tony, good talk to 647 00:43:40,920 --> 00:43:43,279 Speaker 1: you for a second. Sure, Anthony H do you want 648 00:43:43,320 --> 00:43:45,399 Speaker 1: me to be here for this? No, I just want 649 00:43:45,400 --> 00:43:49,759 Speaker 1: to talk to Tony. Okay, no problem. Um, so you 650 00:43:49,800 --> 00:43:57,359 Speaker 1: do improv a lot? Uh yeah, that's great. Um are 651 00:43:57,400 --> 00:43:59,799 Speaker 1: you kind of freezing up? Like I just get so 652 00:44:00,000 --> 00:44:02,319 Speaker 1: comfortable talking to people. Don't get in your head. Don't 653 00:44:02,320 --> 00:44:05,799 Speaker 1: get in your head, good luck. Don't just say the 654 00:44:05,840 --> 00:44:19,640 Speaker 1: thing that you're feeling right now. Um would Uh this 655 00:44:19,719 --> 00:44:22,359 Speaker 1: has been such a nice evening, Tony. I really had 656 00:44:22,360 --> 00:44:27,520 Speaker 1: a great time. Yeah, so thanks so much for taking 657 00:44:27,520 --> 00:44:31,920 Speaker 1: me out. I hope we can do this again. Yeah. Yeah, 658 00:44:32,000 --> 00:44:33,719 Speaker 1: can I give you a little bit of feedback, just 659 00:44:33,800 --> 00:44:36,680 Speaker 1: like just like a little feedback. You don't always have 660 00:44:36,719 --> 00:44:41,200 Speaker 1: to say yes to everything? Yes, I I know, and 661 00:44:41,480 --> 00:44:44,680 Speaker 1: you know if you say you know and then like okay, 662 00:44:44,680 --> 00:44:46,520 Speaker 1: so that sentence didn't make sense that you just said 663 00:44:46,640 --> 00:44:49,840 Speaker 1: because it didn't make sense okay. Um, so you're like agreeing, 664 00:44:49,920 --> 00:44:52,960 Speaker 1: but then you're saying like a negative like the opposite 665 00:44:53,000 --> 00:44:55,879 Speaker 1: of what we were just talking about. And it's just so, 666 00:44:55,920 --> 00:44:59,120 Speaker 1: here's your third dessert, So you're done with the second one. 667 00:44:59,120 --> 00:45:00,360 Speaker 1: Do you want me to get done of my started 668 00:45:00,400 --> 00:45:06,000 Speaker 1: for you? That's so cool? So I'd love a coconut 669 00:45:06,000 --> 00:45:14,799 Speaker 1: cream super forgot Tony Anthony from work. Anthony is your daughter. 670 00:45:17,080 --> 00:45:21,520 Speaker 1: This is my date, Sheila. But this happens to us 671 00:45:21,520 --> 00:45:24,600 Speaker 1: all the time. I mean it's the third day. There's 672 00:45:24,600 --> 00:45:27,960 Speaker 1: a pretty big age gap. But yeah, is everything okay here? 673 00:45:27,960 --> 00:45:31,920 Speaker 1: If you guys want me in on this or no, 674 00:45:32,920 --> 00:45:38,120 Speaker 1: you're including but you can still like move things forward 675 00:45:38,160 --> 00:45:40,239 Speaker 1: and say no, I put where my money where my 676 00:45:40,280 --> 00:45:44,239 Speaker 1: mouth is. I need to live the philosophies of improv Yes, 677 00:45:44,480 --> 00:45:47,560 Speaker 1: and hear everything that we're saying. You don't have to 678 00:45:47,560 --> 00:45:49,799 Speaker 1: get angry about this, Tony. Should I get out of here? 679 00:45:49,840 --> 00:45:52,719 Speaker 1: I don't know if I shouldn't. Yes, you should get 680 00:45:52,719 --> 00:45:53,960 Speaker 1: out of here. I should get out of here. How 681 00:45:54,040 --> 00:45:56,560 Speaker 1: do you stay? Anthony? Wait? You please stay? I don't know. 682 00:45:56,600 --> 00:45:58,320 Speaker 1: I just just gonna get pushed out of the combo 683 00:45:58,360 --> 00:46:01,200 Speaker 1: for my buddy Tony. But you know what, I like you. 684 00:46:01,480 --> 00:46:05,799 Speaker 1: I like you too cute. Wait you're back? Oh yeah, 685 00:46:05,840 --> 00:46:11,560 Speaker 1: I was just hovering. Look, Sheila as a former student 686 00:46:11,600 --> 00:46:16,359 Speaker 1: of mine, So inappropriate. It's not inappropriate, incredibly inappropriate if 687 00:46:16,360 --> 00:46:18,760 Speaker 1: the student alone is what you're after. Come to chase. 688 00:46:19,600 --> 00:46:24,280 Speaker 1: We've got just what your name fucking targeted ads target 689 00:46:24,360 --> 00:46:27,879 Speaker 1: a great story, No I didn't say that, no targeted. 690 00:46:29,520 --> 00:46:33,640 Speaker 1: Oh I knew i'd find you your Tony. The gang's 691 00:46:33,680 --> 00:46:38,520 Speaker 1: all here. I'm await Chris. You can't close your improp shop, Jerry. 692 00:46:38,560 --> 00:46:40,560 Speaker 1: What's going on? You can't close your I'm sorry to 693 00:46:40,600 --> 00:46:43,200 Speaker 1: interrupt whatever this is? This is your wife? Who's this? 694 00:46:44,320 --> 00:46:46,520 Speaker 1: I'm not his wife, I'm not his daughter. Yes, and 695 00:46:47,560 --> 00:46:50,080 Speaker 1: I'm I'm just gonna be real and I'm just we're 696 00:46:50,120 --> 00:46:52,920 Speaker 1: on a third date so we might sleep together tonight. 697 00:46:54,440 --> 00:47:00,800 Speaker 1: That this is my daughter, my daughter, This is you, Jelly. 698 00:47:01,160 --> 00:47:05,480 Speaker 1: I'm so sorry. This is my jelly Bean Tony. I 699 00:47:05,640 --> 00:47:08,000 Speaker 1: need this class to keep going. I'm so close to 700 00:47:08,040 --> 00:47:12,000 Speaker 1: graduating and they'll finally have a degree in something. You 701 00:47:12,080 --> 00:47:14,080 Speaker 1: gotta just keep it open for a little bit longer 702 00:47:14,160 --> 00:47:18,839 Speaker 1: for a degree and something. Come to divine. We've got 703 00:47:18,880 --> 00:47:20,879 Speaker 1: degrees in some point. Some have a pen. I gotta 704 00:47:20,880 --> 00:47:23,200 Speaker 1: write this down. You don't know what VA is? You know, 705 00:47:23,320 --> 00:47:26,239 Speaker 1: I haven't heard. I'm taking improv classes right now. Okay, 706 00:47:26,239 --> 00:47:28,920 Speaker 1: one step at a time, Jerry. The classes are not 707 00:47:28,960 --> 00:47:33,040 Speaker 1: gonna last. Okay, they're slowly replacing improvisers with AI. Okay, 708 00:47:33,200 --> 00:47:36,160 Speaker 1: but Steve did so bad in a class. I know 709 00:47:36,280 --> 00:47:39,879 Speaker 1: but you know, the programs are learning quickly and soon, Uh, 710 00:47:40,239 --> 00:47:42,960 Speaker 1: computers are just gonna be funnier and sharper witted than 711 00:47:43,040 --> 00:47:46,200 Speaker 1: humans are. You know how I lost my job? Well 712 00:47:46,239 --> 00:47:49,640 Speaker 1: really yeah, I just I was around the job. We 713 00:47:49,680 --> 00:47:53,239 Speaker 1: can't finish anymore about he's going to be an improviser. C. 714 00:47:53,640 --> 00:48:00,040 Speaker 1: Four thousand walked into a bar. He bought it a 715 00:48:00,120 --> 00:48:06,839 Speaker 1: good that's great, it's not bad improvem. That's ok. You 716 00:48:06,880 --> 00:48:09,880 Speaker 1: just said no. You just said noticed something. Oh you 717 00:48:10,080 --> 00:48:13,239 Speaker 1: said it's not improv Yes, I said no. I am 718 00:48:13,320 --> 00:48:19,399 Speaker 1: so relieved some sort of sham. Is this the coconut cream? 719 00:48:19,600 --> 00:48:23,319 Speaker 1: This is the coconut It looks amazing. Let you'll get 720 00:48:23,360 --> 00:48:25,799 Speaker 1: to it. I'll catch you at the office. You don't 721 00:48:25,800 --> 00:48:29,520 Speaker 1: have to leave, Okay, a little girl, Can you just 722 00:48:29,640 --> 00:48:31,600 Speaker 1: give me a degree? Just write something out like a 723 00:48:31,640 --> 00:48:33,920 Speaker 1: certificate that I can take to my next day interview. Please, 724 00:48:34,360 --> 00:48:35,840 Speaker 1: creeps man or you try to put his finger in 725 00:48:35,880 --> 00:48:40,400 Speaker 1: my ass. You didn't have to take yes. You did 726 00:48:40,480 --> 00:48:42,920 Speaker 1: not have to say yes. I did have to say yes, 727 00:48:43,200 --> 00:48:45,200 Speaker 1: And I've got to say yes to my friend Jerry here. 728 00:48:45,200 --> 00:48:47,520 Speaker 1: And so you know, if you just want the workshops 729 00:48:47,520 --> 00:48:51,960 Speaker 1: to continue like h on an independent basis, like that's fine. Yeah, 730 00:48:52,160 --> 00:48:53,880 Speaker 1: I just need to have a degree, like I just 731 00:48:54,160 --> 00:48:58,000 Speaker 1: so good. Oh hey, jelly beans eaten my coconut cream? 732 00:48:58,920 --> 00:49:01,800 Speaker 1: Thank you? Has it feel in your mouth? Kid? Text 733 00:49:01,840 --> 00:49:07,400 Speaker 1: is so clean? We went, how queen, You've got a 734 00:49:07,400 --> 00:49:11,000 Speaker 1: great kid there. Thank you. I've honestly just been improvising 735 00:49:11,200 --> 00:49:16,799 Speaker 1: raising her. Hey, take it back. I'm sorry, I've been 736 00:49:16,840 --> 00:49:24,400 Speaker 1: improvising raising. Take that back. Huh, take that back. Okay, 737 00:49:24,600 --> 00:49:29,680 Speaker 1: I've been improvising growing jelly bean choice. I've been taking 738 00:49:29,719 --> 00:49:35,239 Speaker 1: back regurgitating jelly bean choice. I'm gonna eat my child 739 00:49:35,360 --> 00:49:43,919 Speaker 1: right here. Yes, and he's Oh my god, my name 740 00:49:44,000 --> 00:49:47,360 Speaker 1: is Chris Angel. And uh. I was sitting over at 741 00:49:47,360 --> 00:49:50,920 Speaker 1: the bar so long as I do and I couldn't help. 742 00:49:50,920 --> 00:49:53,520 Speaker 1: But notice, get your finger out of my ass. I 743 00:49:53,520 --> 00:49:57,240 Speaker 1: thought that was that for your colonoscopy needs. See ductor Larry. 744 00:49:57,480 --> 00:50:00,560 Speaker 1: Doctor Larry has a finger for you. Na what you 745 00:50:00,840 --> 00:50:03,920 Speaker 1: thought that was my butt? That was my butt? But 746 00:50:04,080 --> 00:50:07,640 Speaker 1: is this your card? Yes, it was, It's covered and 747 00:50:07,840 --> 00:50:14,600 Speaker 1: ship to sanitize immediately. I just want to say hello. Also, 748 00:50:14,640 --> 00:50:17,600 Speaker 1: that guy gave me got a real once. You should 749 00:50:17,600 --> 00:50:23,480 Speaker 1: get tested for that. Okay, she did. I did. Oh, clearly, 750 00:50:24,680 --> 00:50:26,680 Speaker 1: I'll go to another tables. Thanks for letting me hang 751 00:50:26,680 --> 00:50:30,080 Speaker 1: out with you guys. Are we do you want? Do 752 00:50:30,080 --> 00:50:32,520 Speaker 1: you want to split this? Or I'm having so many 753 00:50:32,560 --> 00:50:37,200 Speaker 1: mixed emotions about you now, UM, I would appreciate if 754 00:50:37,200 --> 00:50:42,680 Speaker 1: you would pay. Oh yeah, when the chuck comes, let 755 00:50:42,719 --> 00:50:45,839 Speaker 1: Apple pay. Take care of your needs. I'm gonna let 756 00:50:45,840 --> 00:50:54,080 Speaker 1: Apple pay. It's like today's alchemists. Please, starting with Joey Greer, 757 00:50:54,200 --> 00:51:02,800 Speaker 1: what the hell nuts? Yeah, super fun and lean, good wholesome. 758 00:51:03,080 --> 00:51:06,080 Speaker 1: We would magic, we got medical, we got but play 759 00:51:06,280 --> 00:51:12,680 Speaker 1: but play that. Jeffy Greener at Jeffy Greener from play 760 00:51:12,960 --> 00:51:15,640 Speaker 1: Bear Supply Westside Comedy Theater, second to fourth Wednesday at 761 00:51:15,719 --> 00:51:19,000 Speaker 1: nine o'clock. Vanessa Raglan, Yeah, thank you so much. Always 762 00:51:20,400 --> 00:51:23,960 Speaker 1: UM's talk about the theater. Check out all the events 763 00:51:24,000 --> 00:51:27,279 Speaker 1: coming up, including Adam Sandler's return. Yeah, come see all 764 00:51:27,280 --> 00:51:30,480 Speaker 1: the things, very exciting. Popcorn, It's amazing. Come for the 765 00:51:30,480 --> 00:51:34,560 Speaker 1: show's day for the popcorn. Carla Kakowski, Thanks again for Johnny, 766 00:51:34,719 --> 00:51:37,640 Speaker 1: Thanks for having me excited with my friend. Fight you 767 00:51:37,719 --> 00:51:39,960 Speaker 1: back in a more regular basis, But whatever, we gotta 768 00:51:40,000 --> 00:51:46,640 Speaker 1: go through. Craig. If you like drunk History of the 769 00:51:46,719 --> 00:51:49,160 Speaker 1: first half of season six is now up on Hulu. 770 00:51:49,200 --> 00:51:51,240 Speaker 1: In the second half of season six is now airing 771 00:51:51,239 --> 00:51:54,960 Speaker 1: on Comedy Central. Season six and two halves. Yeah, who 772 00:51:54,960 --> 00:51:57,400 Speaker 1: knows why they decided to do that? How many episodes 773 00:51:57,440 --> 00:52:00,239 Speaker 1: in each half? He's about eight and each off eyes 774 00:52:00,440 --> 00:52:03,320 Speaker 1: so lovely Well, congrats, the show continues to be brilliant. 775 00:52:03,320 --> 00:52:06,560 Speaker 1: Thank you. Yeah, James Eneie, you can follow me at 776 00:52:06,600 --> 00:52:10,839 Speaker 1: the at the Twitter right or after the parking lot. 777 00:52:11,080 --> 00:52:13,160 Speaker 1: We're out in the parking lot. I'll be driving a 778 00:52:13,360 --> 00:52:17,520 Speaker 1: dirty old Fiesta. Thanks. Thanks for sharing you too much. 779 00:52:18,120 --> 00:52:20,760 Speaker 1: Doug Babe, thank you as always for being the greatest. 780 00:52:22,560 --> 00:52:25,040 Speaker 1: We know. You're here because you care and we appreciate 781 00:52:25,080 --> 00:52:27,880 Speaker 1: that very much. Our sound design artist has always Raphael 782 00:52:30,239 --> 00:52:34,520 Speaker 1: producer Sophie Lichter meant high art media. Thanks for the 783 00:52:34,520 --> 00:52:36,880 Speaker 1: auspices and the support. I encourage all of you to 784 00:52:36,920 --> 00:52:40,160 Speaker 1: write a review. Tell everyone you've ever met but Alchemy this. 785 00:52:40,280 --> 00:52:42,960 Speaker 1: We greatly appreciate your support and right to us as 786 00:52:42,960 --> 00:52:45,480 Speaker 1: always with their scene suggestions. To your name here at 787 00:52:45,480 --> 00:52:48,920 Speaker 1: alchemy this dot com. That's your name here at alchemy 788 00:52:49,000 --> 00:52:51,440 Speaker 1: this dot com. I'm your host. Kevin Pollican has always 789 00:52:51,840 --> 00:53:06,080 Speaker 1: I wish you were very Happy and a football, Pello 790 00:53:21,320 --> 00:53:22,239 Speaker 1: and a football.