Speaker 1: I got to say, hello, welcome to We Know Its Parenting.
Speaker 1: I'm Beth Newell. I'm Peter making the podcast you come
Speaker 1: to to find out how not to parent? By example?
Speaker 1: Should that be? Should that be the tagline? How not
Speaker 1: to do it? This is how your parent if you
Speaker 1: want to funk up your kids. I gotta say, when
Speaker 1: we were first pitching this show and coming up with names,
Speaker 1: it was so it seems so cliche to be like,
Speaker 1: we're parents, but we don't know what we're doing. A
Speaker 1: couple of knuckleheads. You know, branding is hard, we know,
Speaker 1: but we knows how to do it. We're so good
Speaker 1: at a thank you for coming to our show. We
Speaker 1: know it's parenting. Um, what a week? What are we?
Speaker 1: What a week? Uh, we're back in the group, we're
Speaker 1: parenting our kids. Where uh, figuring our lives out as usual,
Speaker 1: just going with the flow. Everything is like everything in
Speaker 1: the world right now is such an constant onslaught of
Speaker 1: Like I feel like this is a feeling a lot
Speaker 1: of people I know are having right now. It's just
Speaker 1: like so overwhelming between the news and personal lives and
Speaker 1: especially being parents and just trying to process at all.
Speaker 1: Like it's just like, you know what, my biggest parenting
Speaker 1: challenge of the week was what talking my cab driver
Speaker 1: down from the coronavirus ledge. Yeah, I'm like, I'm not
Speaker 1: even really going to coronavirus town. Like, I get why
Speaker 1: it stokes on people's anxiety, and I feel it very
Speaker 1: blessed As someone who's very anxiety prone, I for some
Speaker 1: reason do not have like super high germ of phobia. Um,
Speaker 1: And so I'm just like, you know what, they'll let
Speaker 1: me know if it's bad. If they don't let me know, Like,
Speaker 1: I just don't feel like the idea that I personally
Speaker 1: have control over this, I think is so egotistical. Because
Speaker 1: I ride the Metro North train to the New York
Speaker 1: City subway at least three days a week. My children
Speaker 1: are in a daycare where they just rubbed on each other,
Speaker 1: or my son is in a kindergarten that all my
Speaker 1: children are doing is licking up terms all day long.
Speaker 1: But that's kind of the beauty of the coronavirus is
Speaker 1: that it's not affecting kids in the same way it
Speaker 1: is other people. Supposedly, where kids like it's kids are
Speaker 1: not getting the same I've I've read a lot about
Speaker 1: it um mostly because I come from a place of
Speaker 1: I when people panic about anything, I roll my eyes
Speaker 1: and act like I know better, and then I'm like
Speaker 1: I better read up on this. It's not like I
Speaker 1: don't necessarily think it's like rational to not panic, but
Speaker 1: I do think as a New Yorker or someone who's
Speaker 1: commuting into New York City, and it's like you can't
Speaker 1: go with the panic, Like it's just like the city
Speaker 1: has withstood so many bizarre things that you're just sort
Speaker 1: of like, well, how bad could it be? Like I
Speaker 1: do fundamentally believe that the city of New York could
Speaker 1: crumble into the ocean at any moment if the right
Speaker 1: storm were to strike. But I don't think I personally
Speaker 1: have any control over whether I happen to be in
Speaker 1: the place where that's happening at the exact time. Like
Speaker 1: I just don't. And just you know what, if I'm
Speaker 1: meant to fall into the ocean, then that's that's how
Speaker 1: you want to go. That's your right, Yeah, in the
Speaker 1: salty the salty s And I think, like I'm not
Speaker 1: not going to wash my hands, Like sure, I'm going
Speaker 1: to wash my hands a little more and like try
Speaker 1: to be more aware of touching my face, which I
Speaker 1: touch all day long. Hands live in my eyes and
Speaker 1: my mouth. We're just expressive, beautiful, thoughtful people. Our hands
Speaker 1: are constantly pressing our cheeks. Hands, that's how we communicate.
Speaker 1: We are full of hand to face. So here's what
Speaker 1: I will say. Okay, I don't think so. My mom's
Speaker 1: a nurse, so she's tried to tell me not to
Speaker 1: touch my face for decades. But it's so hard not
Speaker 1: to touch your face. So what I have been able
Speaker 1: to get good at over the years, I think is
Speaker 1: that I touched my face. I touched my face more
Speaker 1: with my knuckles and not the fingers that are doing
Speaker 1: the dirty work. Because like the little kid tired eye
Speaker 1: rub with the back of your knuckle. Yeah, like just
Speaker 1: trying like be like, Okay, this part of my body
Speaker 1: is designated for gross things. This part is for clean things,
Speaker 1: like my knuckle. I'm not using the open doors, you
Speaker 1: know what I mean. Like you could wash your hands
Speaker 1: in disinfect all day, but at some point you're touching
Speaker 1: a door knob, to a keyboard, to your mouth, like
Speaker 1: it just happens. Like so I just think I don't
Speaker 1: think I'm ever going to be able to stop touching
Speaker 1: my face because it's gorgeous and I love it. I
Speaker 1: mean you you sit there and just make love to
Speaker 1: your face with your hands, and it's very awkward to walk.
Speaker 1: It's just too natural to me as well. I went
Speaker 1: straight to the data and I go, what are the facts?
Speaker 1: Give me the facts. Where is the data? And numbers numbers,
Speaker 1: and then want number everything and everything about everything. Everything
Speaker 1: I've read has made me worry less and less and
Speaker 1: less one. We're all going to get it. Everyone's gonna
Speaker 1: get it. It's super But also most people don't even
Speaker 1: know that they're going They get it in super mind.
Speaker 1: And this is the thing that I think people have
Speaker 1: to understand is it's not far off from a flu.
Speaker 1: Like it's like if the flu we're going around. Yes,
Speaker 1: it is bad for more vulnerable people's. It is primarily
Speaker 1: people oversex divided with immune compromised immune systems. It is
Speaker 1: a serious thing to worry about. But the more data
Speaker 1: that they get realize they have no idea how many
Speaker 1: people really have it. And so initially they were like
Speaker 1: it's three death rate, and they keep finding out like, oh,
Speaker 1: there's so many more people that have had it. But
Speaker 1: they don't get sick enoughter to the hospital. So the
Speaker 1: death rate has gone way, way, way, way right down,
Speaker 1: And some people think that maybe it's more like one
Speaker 1: point four percent, but every time I read about it,
Speaker 1: it goes lower and lower and looking more and more
Speaker 1: like the flu. And so you know, thousands of thousands
Speaker 1: of people die of the flu every year. So well,
Speaker 1: wash your hands, don't touch your face, but don't freak out.
Speaker 1: But I think where we should be really careful is
Speaker 1: when we are sick. Is like, don't go to work,
Speaker 1: be really careful about washing your hands, don't shake someone's
Speaker 1: hands when you know you have a cold. Like that
Speaker 1: is where I think people like Americans are not considerate,
Speaker 1: like I'm already sick, who cares no, But they're like,
Speaker 1: we're just so selfish, Like we we as a country
Speaker 1: are the most selfish people in the world. Perfect segue
Speaker 1: to what we did today, which is I sent my
Speaker 1: sun to school sick. Yeah, would you frequently do? I mean,
Speaker 1: I mean I play a part in it. I'm not
Speaker 1: I acknowledge that, but you do have a tendency to
Speaker 1: like this morning, when he was not wanting to eat breakfast,
Speaker 1: you were like annoyed and no part of you was like,
Speaker 1: I wonder if my sounds sick like I took his temperature,
Speaker 1: no fever. Actually he took his own temperature. Well he
Speaker 1: wasn't that sick, but he was like he knew he
Speaker 1: didn't feel great. So he's at atom A gay guiney
Speaker 1: didn't have a big appetite. And this will nurse, did
Speaker 1: you call me in the middle of the day. What
Speaker 1: I was at an audition in in the Financial District
Speaker 1: couldn't have been further away. And I just got there.
Speaker 1: But those of you not in the know about New
Speaker 1: York City, the Financial District is way downtown and we
Speaker 1: live north of Manhattan in Westchester County. So um, I
Speaker 1: was eleven fifteen. I got the call from the nurse
Speaker 1: and she's like, Brent's in the office, size uh. Teacher
Speaker 1: said he's not acting like himself, no fever, no vomiting.
Speaker 1: And then I was like, I guess I'll come get him, Okay,
Speaker 1: well yeah, and then I'll be there as soon as
Speaker 1: I can. That was two hours and twenty minutes. Because
Speaker 1: I will say from the working I worked in a
Speaker 1: nurse's office at a private school in Brooklyn, which we
Speaker 1: both worked at and the nurse's attitude like, and I
Speaker 1: think this goes for medical professionals in general. Is just
Speaker 1: like when six people are around them, they're like, we
Speaker 1: got a sicky over here. He thinks he's real sick.
Speaker 1: But I've seen a lot worse like and like they're
Speaker 1: not like I think this might be an East Coast
Speaker 1: school nurse. I don't know. Well, I did work for
Speaker 1: a nurse when I worked in the nurse's office in Brooklyn.
Speaker 1: That was she was like she was. She was an
Speaker 1: emotionally abusive person who may or may not have been
Speaker 1: an alcoholic, and she was just incredibly negative because you
Speaker 1: didn't say anything. She liked me until the point up
Speaker 1: until the point where I was just completely broken from
Speaker 1: trying to please her, and I was like, I was like, yeah,
Speaker 1: I need to not work here anymore. And then she
Speaker 1: was like she couldn't believe it. So she was not
Speaker 1: like this job, um, I was this is my problem
Speaker 1: in life as I'm too accommodating to people who are problematic. Um,
Speaker 1: And I'm working on it. I'm working on boundaries. But
Speaker 1: she um, she was. She was overly dismissive. But I
Speaker 1: do think like a lot of verses and medical professionals
Speaker 1: have a similar vibe of like, alright, sure you think
Speaker 1: you've got something bad. I've seen all this. Like I
Speaker 1: do think this is kind of like a tone that's
Speaker 1: given to them in medical school or nursing school, Like
Speaker 1: it's just like a very patriarchal attitude. That's just like
Speaker 1: the customer does not know what they want, Like, um,
Speaker 1: I gotta say, Um, the school nurses I remember from
Speaker 1: me growing up or not like that. Um, But that
Speaker 1: might have just minded my experience. I mean I had
Speaker 1: nice school nurses, but they always I always felt disbelieved,
Speaker 1: Like I always felt like they were like, Okay, your
Speaker 1: throat hurts, well, you can hang out here for twenty
Speaker 1: minutes and then you're gonna go back to class because
Speaker 1: you don't have a fever. I'm starting to I'm starting
Speaker 1: to build a picture of you as a little kid,
Speaker 1: assuming what I know about Maven was is how you are.
Speaker 1: And there's a there's a version of Maven where she
Speaker 1: doesn't want to be prodded for information, and when you
Speaker 1: ask her questions really bluntly, she'll she'll like squint at you,
Speaker 1: and then it's hard to read what's going on. With her,
Speaker 1: and so I started to see like is this what
Speaker 1: all those teachers were seeing in Beth when they're like,
Speaker 1: does she have an attitude? I can't tell? Do you
Speaker 1: feel like? Because the world too women is like do
Speaker 1: you really feel what you're feeling? Or you an idiot?
Speaker 1: Like that's I think. Sometimes she's like may even correctly
Speaker 1: sometimes when she's throwing a tantrum, she like very clearly
Speaker 1: is like I need this from you, as like I
Speaker 1: need you to help calm me down as a three
Speaker 1: year old, do you know what I mean? Like she's
Speaker 1: like what she's saying is m M, well, yeah, like no,
Speaker 1: but like I have I have seen her thrown tantrums
Speaker 1: where like I got mad, like when she was very young,
Speaker 1: and I was like just feeling very frustrated because she
Speaker 1: was just like incoherent toddler. And then I was like
Speaker 1: I probably talked about this in the podcast before, but
Speaker 1: I was like, Mayven, what do you want? And then
Speaker 1: she was and then and then she goes, I want you,
Speaker 1: And it was like the most clarifying, like clear like
Speaker 1: I was like, she just wanted me to pay attention
Speaker 1: to her. It wasn't about like whatever thing she was
Speaker 1: requesting or whatever. She just wanted me to like focus
Speaker 1: on her, and it was like like she, I know,
Speaker 1: sometimes she's just being a three year old and she's
Speaker 1: moody and tired whatever. But like sometimes I think she
Speaker 1: is just very like hey, she's like, hey, my big
Speaker 1: brother has been flipping out for like an hour, and
Speaker 1: you guys have paid attention to me. I've gotten I
Speaker 1: mean partially she's grown up and show she can start
Speaker 1: to be able to let things go, which is a
Speaker 1: brand new She's approaching four and you can see it
Speaker 1: the light at the end of the three tunnel um
Speaker 1: and I also can see it coming earlier and get
Speaker 1: out of the way. Yeah. Well, she's been so funny
Speaker 1: lately because Brent has had some like tantrums or like
Speaker 1: he'll be we'll be like playing and he's bossing me
Speaker 1: around and he's like you have to do this, and
Speaker 1: you have to do this, and Maven, we'll just cuddle
Speaker 1: up on me and be like zoobi gooby gee, and
Speaker 1: she interrupts his thing to just be goofy and like
Speaker 1: snuggle me, which is really like fun. I'm like, yeah,
Speaker 1: this is easier. And then and he's like I'm directing production.
Speaker 1: He's like, he's like, you need to say this, and
Speaker 1: he gets so frustrated with her, like she just steals
Speaker 1: the spotlight and sort of a more effortless way. Boy,
Speaker 1: I tell you. So I picked him up and he
Speaker 1: was fine. He was just really upset that I took song.
Speaker 1: He's like, the nurse's office is so boring. And so
Speaker 1: we went home and he goes, can we go out
Speaker 1: to dinner? I was like, you haven't eaten all day?
Speaker 1: Are you hungry? He's like, maybe, we'll see. So we
Speaker 1: went to a restaurant with Maven and he's he's a
Speaker 1: little bit like under the weather, but just that makes
Speaker 1: him calm and cuddly, and yeah, I kind of like
Speaker 1: that first. And Maven was really goofy and he wasn't
Speaker 1: bothering to argue with her for every and no reason.
Speaker 1: And it was the best dinner we ever had, and
Speaker 1: he ended up eating a bunch and we read books
Speaker 1: and went straight to sleep and everyone was great. We
Speaker 1: listen to music. Maven and I did more air drumming.
Speaker 1: She's a good drummer. She's good. So night, Now you
Speaker 1: need to tell me the story on Brin's door. I
Speaker 1: came home the other day and I saw a piece
Speaker 1: of paper that said Bryn, Yes, this is taped to
Speaker 1: Brin's door. Says Bryn, yes man, yes, Mommy, yes, Daddy. Yeah.
Speaker 1: So okay, you got the short end of the stick,
Speaker 1: because here's what happened. It was like, okay, it's kind
Speaker 1: of it felt like kind of like the Democratic primaries
Speaker 1: where okay, Bryn was like throwing a tantrum for some
Speaker 1: reason I can't He probably just didn't want me to
Speaker 1: turn the TV off or something, and he was just
Speaker 1: like being horrible, and I was like, you need to stop.
Speaker 1: You can't be like punching me. Whatever. He's I'm sorry,
Speaker 1: we're watching TV on a school night. I go away. No,
Speaker 1: this is Sunday night. Um, so we're this is He's
Speaker 1: just like losing it and he probably did watch too
Speaker 1: much like YouTube that day whatever, But it was just
Speaker 1: like once again, we are tired parents and sometimes you
Speaker 1: have to have a lazy day and everyone is lazy. Um,
Speaker 1: so he was kind of losing it. Bullup sound installation
Speaker 1: blanket has fallen off the wall for the second time
Speaker 1: in two years. It's about to get very echoe in
Speaker 1: here because the wall is exposed. But you can hear it.
Speaker 1: I don't even need it out there. Okay. So Bryn
Speaker 1: was freaking out and then he's flipping out and I
Speaker 1: was like, I am he Oh, he didn't want Maven
Speaker 1: to read her book. He wanted he wants to be
Speaker 1: the boss of bedtime and like do the book picker
Speaker 1: line where he lays the books out and he picks
Speaker 1: the books and he narrows it down to a category.
Speaker 1: And like I was like, Mayven wants to read this
Speaker 1: new book that she has not read a lot, and
Speaker 1: we're going to read it. So I took her in
Speaker 1: the other room to start reading it. And he was
Speaker 1: still flipping out. And he found like a piece of
Speaker 1: paper and wrote uh yes, Bryan, no Maven and taped
Speaker 1: it to the door. So this is like his latest thing. Yeah,
Speaker 1: this is like the latest one. He wants to make
Speaker 1: the rules. He wants to explain things he discovered. He
Speaker 1: can make signs. Now, He's like Martin Luther nailing his
Speaker 1: thing to the church. He's like, I have I have
Speaker 1: discovered the written word, and this is my form of protest.
Speaker 1: And so he was like putting this sign on the
Speaker 1: door and then he like maybe he was like May
Speaker 1: even can't come in here, and he was like trying
Speaker 1: to force the door closed and I was trying to
Speaker 1: put it open, and May even, which I was very
Speaker 1: proud of her, she just like ripped it off the door,
Speaker 1: very like sassily, and he's like, maybe I come in here,
Speaker 1: and he's like she was like, Brin, I took it off,
Speaker 1: and they're like both fighting, and then like they got
Speaker 1: in this much longer fight. I can't I was probably
Speaker 1: like restraining him or something, but he oh, he like
Speaker 1: ended up as I was trying to restrain him in
Speaker 1: the bedroom because it was like probably a half hour
Speaker 1: past bedtime or whatever, and I'm trying to keep them
Speaker 1: in the bedroom and explained that this is bedtime while
Speaker 1: all this is happening, and they're like, um, Barrin is
Speaker 1: like flipping out and I was turning the lights off
Speaker 1: and he hurt himself and started crying. So then he's
Speaker 1: like crying as like finally starting to calm down. And
Speaker 1: then Maven has like been getting into like mad at him,
Speaker 1: trying to make her own sign and getting a pen
Speaker 1: and paper and just insisting and she's trying to write
Speaker 1: and she's trying to get me to like explain how
Speaker 1: to write her her sign, which this is what kept
Speaker 1: happening to me during this is like they were fighting
Speaker 1: against each other, but then they would very quickly quickly
Speaker 1: form an ally ship if they could like extend the
Speaker 1: lack of bedtime. So Brin was like, I'll help you, Maven,
Speaker 1: and he started at length explaining to her how to
Speaker 1: write no, britn yes Maven on a piece of paper
Speaker 1: and he spelled out every letter for her. I have
Speaker 1: this on video, I have I should put some of it.
Speaker 1: But because he's like, okay, that write this, and he's
Speaker 1: like this as he's like wiping away his tears from
Speaker 1: the tantrum and hurting himself, he's like someone is whose
Speaker 1: listens to me? Yeah, He's like, let me tell you
Speaker 1: how to make the signs. And then and then he
Speaker 1: was like as she finished it and taped it up,
Speaker 1: he was like, okay, so I have to correct it.
Speaker 1: And then he was writing like he got out of
Speaker 1: his red editor's pen. Yeah. So then they both had
Speaker 1: to make another sign and it was like yes may Haven,
Speaker 1: yes Bryn, yes mom. It was meant to be like reconciliatory.
Speaker 1: What's the word of reconciliatory, reconciliation, and they like but
Speaker 1: then at the end they just had to pick a
Speaker 1: common enemy and they were like, no Daddy, and they
Speaker 1: and so they're like, there is so Brinn wrote that
Speaker 1: and like put big boxes around everything and put on
Speaker 1: the door, and Maybn was like she just wrote like yes,
Speaker 1: maybe yes, burn or whatever on her piece the favorite
Speaker 1: and I was just like, oh my god, go to
Speaker 1: bed and came home and saw it and just flumped
Speaker 1: my shoulders, crawled into bed. Yeah. Well, unfortunately it was
Speaker 1: like once again, it's just it's like a lot like
Speaker 1: the Democratic primary, Like I had to get something done
Speaker 1: and I had to pick a side at the end
Speaker 1: of the day. And I didn't like, I want to
Speaker 1: single you out as a problem, but you are the
Speaker 1: bloomberg of this situation. Lisa let me um and yeah,
Speaker 1: everybody hits bot um um. Well, he made a new
Speaker 1: sign tonight and he color coded them all and it's
Speaker 1: still yes Mommy, yes, Naven, yes, Bryn and no Daddy,
Speaker 1: but he colored my green and I was like, I
Speaker 1: don't get to go in and it hurts my feelings.
Speaker 1: He goes daddy, Daddy, Daddy, don't worry it's only on St.
Speaker 1: Patrick's Day. Oh you know what, I'm just realized that
Speaker 1: he was asking me, Daddy, what color is Easter. I
Speaker 1: was like, why he goes um, never mind, and now
Speaker 1: I know why one of them's Easter. Cool. That's the day.
Speaker 1: There's no mommy, that's right. Yes, although it says yes,
Speaker 1: you are only get to go in on Easter, I
Speaker 1: guess you got to do all the bedtimes and wake
Speaker 1: ups and now it's time for We know it's what
Speaker 1: they're watching. This is where we talk about our children's
Speaker 1: media consumption habits beeth Okay, So I wanted to talk
Speaker 1: about these YouTube yoga videos that Britt discovered. I'm actually
Speaker 1: completely blanking on the name of these yoga videos. It's
Speaker 1: like super Yoga. Yeah, it's like super Yoga Kids, nitro
Speaker 1: Cosmic Kids, super Yoga. I think that's what it's called. Um. Anyway,
Speaker 1: So Britt was me this thing the other night before
Speaker 1: I realized about this YouTube channel where I thought he
Speaker 1: had been going to like a yoga gym class or something,
Speaker 1: because he acted out to me as if he were
Speaker 1: a yoga instructor an entire yoga class while I was
Speaker 1: on the yoga mat and it was actually really good,
Speaker 1: and I felt like I was like, this is like
Speaker 1: a good yoga class, Like this is the cheapest yoga
Speaker 1: class I've ever Well, he was going through like different
Speaker 1: like yoga poses, but he clearly knew a kid version
Speaker 1: of them, and I didn't understand where where he had
Speaker 1: learned this, but anyway, he like was like, Okay, we
Speaker 1: have to do our dog poses. So he was doing
Speaker 1: like downward dog, and then when he when he would
Speaker 1: have me do upward dog, he would say I was
Speaker 1: a wolf and then he would ask me to howl,
Speaker 1: and he would add these little details that I felt
Speaker 1: like actually accentuated the goal of the pose in terms
Speaker 1: of like lengthening actually translated a physical thing. Yeah, Like
Speaker 1: it felt like it was helping my body, And I
Speaker 1: was like, this is in some ways better than any
Speaker 1: other yoga class I've ever taken. But he like he
Speaker 1: kept doing all of these posts and he does one
Speaker 1: that he showed you the other day, which I think
Speaker 1: is so funny, where wow be quiet theory. He does
Speaker 1: a vampire posset where he lays Shavashna on his back
Speaker 1: and like puts his arms across on his chest like
Speaker 1: a vampire and then you sit up and then you
Speaker 1: swivel your head to the left and then you grin
Speaker 1: huge and he raises his eyebrows while grinning, and it's
Speaker 1: so funny, and like, this is what's funny about the
Speaker 1: whole The way he was teaching me the class is
Speaker 1: like he kept doing these accentuated facial expressions like the
Speaker 1: woman on the YouTube video, and he was just so
Speaker 1: engaged in holding your attention. And he would do this
Speaker 1: thing like at the end where he'd be like waving
Speaker 1: and he'd be like he'd be like oh, he'd be
Speaker 1: like thumbs up, great job you guys, all right bye,
Speaker 1: and he would wave goodbye, and the showmanship was just
Speaker 1: so funny. Like you thought he made all of his
Speaker 1: up at a certain point. No, I thought that when
Speaker 1: he was at school he learned a gym class or something. Yeah,
Speaker 1: Like I thought he was at a gym class and
Speaker 1: his gym teacher did like a yoga instruction and I
Speaker 1: was like, she's good because he was like the way
Speaker 1: he was doing it. I was like, this is really
Speaker 1: engaging for kids, Like this is great. And then I
Speaker 1: asked him, I was like, so do you learn that
Speaker 1: at school? And he was like, no, I saw it
Speaker 1: on YouTube when I was at Nana and Granddad's house,
Speaker 1: and this is a video he watched with them. So
Speaker 1: I was like oh and then so then I was
Speaker 1: like I wanted to I was curious what the video was,
Speaker 1: and we watched it on YouTube, but the actual video
Speaker 1: was actually very much less engaging than what he was doing. Yeah. Well,
Speaker 1: when I went in, they were watching it and not
Speaker 1: doing yoga, and I was like, well, this is why
Speaker 1: I hate YouTube. Well, he was refused, so he was
Speaker 1: refusing to do it in front of you when the
Speaker 1: YouTube videos on, which I thought was really funny because
Speaker 1: he was doing it before we were watching it. Yeah,
Speaker 1: and I said like, I asked him a question about
Speaker 1: why he didn't want to do it, and then you
Speaker 1: were like, Brenn, are you embarrassed? And he turned to
Speaker 1: you and he goes, yes, daddy, thank you. He plopped
Speaker 1: down and rolled his eyes and looked at me, and
Speaker 1: it was like half start sarcastic, but truga, yes, daddy,
Speaker 1: thank you. I was like, I was trying to remember.
Speaker 1: I was like, I had a vague memory of something
Speaker 1: that funny happening. I could remember what it was exactly
Speaker 1: that it was just so funny though. We Yeah, he
Speaker 1: was like, thank you for acknowledging my emotions. Oh my god,
Speaker 1: I just reminded me of something very funny. Briant said
Speaker 1: that I actually wrote down um So burndon Maven. We're
Speaker 1: doing belly bumps. They're like brand belly bumps and they're
Speaker 1: bumping bellies and giggling. I was like, this is very cute.
Speaker 1: And then Maven took her shirt off, and then Brin
Speaker 1: took his shirt off and they're doing I was like, Daddy,
Speaker 1: naked belly bumps. And then Maybe was like, let's get
Speaker 1: naked and do belly bumps. And I was like, yeah,
Speaker 1: you know what, Okay, I think I think that's good.
Speaker 1: And then Brin and then they just started like looking
Speaker 1: at each other's naked torsos, and then brit started talking
Speaker 1: about boobies. He's like, look at your boobies, Maven, and
Speaker 1: she's like, these are my boobies, right, Daddy. I was
Speaker 1: like when they're just like pinching her nipples and I
Speaker 1: was like, well, those are your nipples. And then we
Speaker 1: got into a conversation about boobies, and I explained when
Speaker 1: when boobies happened, and what the difference is. They were
Speaker 1: trying to play again with me the other night where
Speaker 1: they wanted to be babies and drink from my and
Speaker 1: they're like, and Maven has been doing this thing this
Speaker 1: where she takes off her clothes and it's just in
Speaker 1: her underwear to try to be a baby. And I
Speaker 1: was like, you don't, no, I don't want your mouth
Speaker 1: like on my boob, like and I was trying. It
Speaker 1: was like, well, this was after brit So brit you know.
Speaker 1: I explained that when you know, many girls get older
Speaker 1: and grow boots and then Britton, uh Brin said, I
Speaker 1: wrote this down. Yeah, daddy, I know when girls get
Speaker 1: boobies their nipples look broken and creepy. They also look
Speaker 1: like they're not nipples broken and creepy. I kind of
Speaker 1: get it. And I was like, it's like, what are
Speaker 1: these and why do we love them? You know, he's
Speaker 1: talking about your boob broken? U must have seen other breasts.
Speaker 1: I mean probably. It is like whenever I'm trying to
Speaker 1: get dressed around them, they are like locked in, like
Speaker 1: they're like what is going on over here? Like burns
Speaker 1: rut of the age where he's sort of pretending not
Speaker 1: to look. He's looking. And maybe maybe if I'm ever
Speaker 1: peeing in the bathroom and the door is at all open,
Speaker 1: Mayven bursts it open and she comes around and she
Speaker 1: like puts her hands on my leg like she's like
Speaker 1: a like a burglar scamp looking around a corner on
Speaker 1: a French street looking to pick some pockets. And she
Speaker 1: looks around and just it's just like locks in and watches.
Speaker 1: It's a it's a most vulnerable feeling. This is what
Speaker 1: our friend Nick's daughter Reya said to him. She did
Speaker 1: the same thing. Is she's much younger. She's too, she's
Speaker 1: too and she she said, that's your butt. It's like
Speaker 1: that's what they're doing. They're like, what the heck is that?
Speaker 1: Like they're just but they're broken and broken and creepy.
Speaker 1: I mean, someday you'll understand, but society is no rust
Speaker 1: rush to teach you. So I might as well give
Speaker 1: you an eye fall so you have some sort of
Speaker 1: realistic expectations the other really, so, the really interesting thing
Speaker 1: I did today with brand Um is he was asking
Speaker 1: me about years. He keeps trying to tell me that
Speaker 1: George Washington is not dead, but he's not the president anymore.
Speaker 1: And I was like, well, he'd be two d and
Speaker 1: fifty years old. He goes, he's still alive. He'll die
Speaker 1: on his next birthday. Okay. So we started talking about years,
Speaker 1: and I go, do you know what year you were born?
Speaker 1: And he's like, no, it's and you can tell sort
Speaker 1: of an abstract concept, but he knows it's tonight. You
Speaker 1: want to get in a time machine and he goes, okay,
Speaker 1: so you, me and mommy, we all live in this apartment.
Speaker 1: And I started listening things he knew, and I was like,
Speaker 1: Maven was born before, No Maven, just Mommy and Daddy
Speaker 1: and baby Bryn. And he's like, face lit up. He
Speaker 1: was like the time that was perfect. I was the
Speaker 1: center of the universe. Anden Brynn was born, and mommy
Speaker 1: and daddy moved to Merrinick and then mommy daddy lived
Speaker 1: in Brooklyn, and he was into this. I went all
Speaker 1: the way back to nine, which is when my my,
Speaker 1: one of my grandfathers was born. That's when we stopped
Speaker 1: a hundred and one years earlier. But I will say
Speaker 1: in the middle of it, we got into life and
Speaker 1: death in a big way. Uh, like him realizing I
Speaker 1: got I like I marked. I was trying to find
Speaker 1: interesting things that happened in all these years. So I
Speaker 1: got to my the death of my grandparents and like,
Speaker 1: and ended with their births. We also talked about your
Speaker 1: brother who passed away in two thousand three, and so
Speaker 1: get ready for bread. He brought it up, or he
Speaker 1: brought it up. Well, I was talking about years that
Speaker 1: people were born. I didn't talk about that on the
Speaker 1: way down. But then I got to like eighty three,
Speaker 1: and I was like, because I kept going, and then
Speaker 1: Ali was born. And then before that I painted picture
Speaker 1: of what the family looked like, and I was doing
Speaker 1: it with mine, and then I started doing with yours.
Speaker 1: And so I mentioned his uncle his uncle, and he
Speaker 1: is at the age where he had questions for the
Speaker 1: first time about that, and so I explained it to him.
Speaker 1: So you get ready because he's going to ask you
Speaker 1: about this, but I was it was the very straightforward it.
Speaker 1: We're talking abo that. But then we talked about a
Speaker 1: million everyone in our family that he's ever been aware
Speaker 1: of it all, and sort of starting going backwards all
Speaker 1: the way to his great grandparents births, and I talked
Speaker 1: about World War two, and like the Great Depression because
Speaker 1: I was running out of things to talk about it
Speaker 1: for each year and he was locked in. And I
Speaker 1: feel like time suddenly he had some sort of reference
Speaker 1: for it, or maybe I'm reading into it and he
Speaker 1: just likes numbers. I mean, I do think he's fascinated,
Speaker 1: like by the idea of there being things he's not
Speaker 1: aware of. Like I think I said a couple a
Speaker 1: few weeks ago when he said something where he was like,
Speaker 1: I'm sorry, I said I knew I knowed everything. I don't.
Speaker 1: But when he said that to me, I'm sorry what
Speaker 1: I said, I knowed everything, but I don't. But the
Speaker 1: day he said that to me was the same day
Speaker 1: or like the same week that he was learning about
Speaker 1: like Martin Luther King and like Martin Luther King Jr.
Speaker 1: And like black history stuff where he like, for the
Speaker 1: first time in his life, he was like hearing this
Speaker 1: thing about how like people weren't nice one time, you know,
Speaker 1: Like he was just like, oh, I thought everything was good,
Speaker 1: but oh, you're just reminded me where This conversation about
Speaker 1: years started as we were reading the book about extinct animals.
Speaker 1: So we read the descriptions and it explained that they
Speaker 1: died out almost exclusively because of humans, and so Britain
Speaker 1: was like, that's so mean, why did that happen? Spoiler alert,
Speaker 1: humans are the bad guys. Yeah, we found an animal
Speaker 1: that was extinct went extinct in two thousands seventeen, so
Speaker 1: that's where this whole thing began. It was a big,
Speaker 1: big sick day for Brittie Boy. Yeah, that's a lot.
Speaker 1: Still as a process, I just want to say that
Speaker 1: we have made really poignant references to both Martin Luther
Speaker 1: King and Martin Luther in one podcast. Wow, Full Circle Circle.
Speaker 1: This next segment is called Listeners Want to Knows. That's
Speaker 1: where we take questions and comments from you guys. Uh.
Speaker 1: This email comes to us from Samantha. Subject line Listeners
Speaker 1: want to Knows. Way to use this segment title love It. Hi,
Speaker 1: Beth and Peter. I've been listening to your podcast since
Speaker 1: our foster son came into our lives a year ago.
Speaker 1: He was four days old and I was desperately searching
Speaker 1: for any and all parenting advice. Your podcast is the
Speaker 1: only parenting podcast I still listen to, and I'll continue
Speaker 1: to need it since we just started the adoption process.
Speaker 1: I love you guys. Wow, Um, here's my listener desperately
Speaker 1: wants to knows Connor is one year old now and
Speaker 1: all we hear from doctors is all the solid food
Speaker 1: he should be eating and all the words he should
Speaker 1: be saying. Yikes, this kid apparently loves baby cereal and
Speaker 1: puade food. Do you have any uh? Did you have
Speaker 1: any struggle? Uh? Here? And what did you do to
Speaker 1: get your kids to make the switch? Any tricks to try?
Speaker 1: I'm asking all my friends and trying everything. Side note,
Speaker 1: he babbles all the time, so I'm focusing on the
Speaker 1: food thing right now. Shameless plug. My new pregnant niece
Speaker 1: will be getting there's no manual for her birthday next month.
Speaker 1: Spoiler Samantha. I can't share him on social media yet,
Speaker 1: but I know Beth likes a good baby picture, so
Speaker 1: this is for you guys. She included, Oh he's so cute.
Speaker 1: Oh my god, he has little he's like a tiny
Speaker 1: pudgy la Keith Stanfield of a baby. Oh my god,
Speaker 1: I wanna you wanna you want to devour those cheeks.
Speaker 1: He's like he's he actually he looks a little bit
Speaker 1: like our old our nanny's baby son. That we met
Speaker 1: after she worked for us. That is a cute cut um.
Speaker 1: I liked that. Also. I assume Samantha that this is
Speaker 1: you in the picture. Her face is cut off and
Speaker 1: it's just her smirk. It is a proud It is
Speaker 1: a proud but humble smirk. I mean, you'd have to
Speaker 1: be proud of that little man. He's alright. Real questions
Speaker 1: in here though, Okay, the real questions about eating solids.
Speaker 1: I will quickly say. About the talking thing, which you
Speaker 1: don't seem concerned about, and I don't think you should be,
Speaker 1: is both of our kids were totally different. Bryn talked forever,
Speaker 1: but not with real words. Yeah, he was like that
Speaker 1: what is it okay? Um? And Maven did not speak
Speaker 1: until she had concrete words. Today, she was clear and direct.
Speaker 1: She would be like no serial banana um. She Yeah,
Speaker 1: they're very different. But what I would say about like
Speaker 1: the first year or so of parenting, I feel like
Speaker 1: your people fill your head with all these goals and
Speaker 1: milestones and things that seem important at the time. I
Speaker 1: even think this goes into like second and third year
Speaker 1: of having kids. Were just like some kids start talking later,
Speaker 1: some kids start crawling later, some kids have trouble gaining weight.
Speaker 1: It's like a lot of times I think in retrospect
Speaker 1: it is completely meaningless, and like especially the one year mark,
Speaker 1: there's so many things they get measured at about one year.
Speaker 1: The walking and talking and all that stuff happens, but
Speaker 1: it's like such a slide scale. Yeah. I mean my
Speaker 1: mom when always held the story growing up of taking
Speaker 1: my brother to the pediatrician at like ten months old
Speaker 1: or something and she was like, can I start feeding
Speaker 1: him solids? And the pediatrician was like, you're not feeding
Speaker 1: him solids? Like and he was like a big fat
Speaker 1: baby and he had been just like having pure breast milk.
Speaker 1: And it's like you're not like hurting you know, like
Speaker 1: that much. It's just like human beings are more resilient
Speaker 1: than we realized, especially when their babies. Like you'll, I
Speaker 1: think when you take them to the doctor at their
Speaker 1: one year mark, you'll know if there's like a serious problem,
Speaker 1: and like all this other stuff is just the Petertrison
Speaker 1: is trying to like find some feedback to give you,
Speaker 1: but it's not like they're also I found patrician there
Speaker 1: immediately giving you things that they said to a more
Speaker 1: panicked parent who was trying to like, why isn't this
Speaker 1: are sort of defensive and you're not even you weren't
Speaker 1: even a part that kind. Well, I think we have
Speaker 1: a particularly good pediatrician who's very like non alarmist, so
Speaker 1: he's always like giving a caveat that's like, I mean,
Speaker 1: it's not the end of the world, Like, you know,
Speaker 1: he's not like I don't think he's trying to scare
Speaker 1: us too much. But I'm gonna miss him when we move. Yeah,
Speaker 1: well we could drive two hours. Well I don't see
Speaker 1: him because you take the kids. But I appreciate that
Speaker 1: he's a fan of mine. Yes, he loves you. He
Speaker 1: loves redectress um, but yeah, I don't know um. But
Speaker 1: I read this and I was like, it's incredible. Again
Speaker 1: you've said this. If you want advice on a from
Speaker 1: parents about kids at a certain age, it has to
Speaker 1: be within the last year. It's like, when did we
Speaker 1: switch to solid foods? Do you remember? And what was
Speaker 1: like what were the staples, what were the go to
Speaker 1: That's the stuff I'll never be able to tell you,
Speaker 1: like with accuracy about like the rules of the first year.
Speaker 1: Like I feel like it's like they can have honey.
Speaker 1: After like nine to twelve months, they're like, they don't
Speaker 1: feed a baby, honey, it'll it'll multiply like a gremlin. Yeah, exactly,
Speaker 1: don't get don't get them wet after midnight. But they
Speaker 1: turned into the baby from the Dinosaurs TV show. I'm
Speaker 1: the baby. Um. I remember that. There was like three
Speaker 1: years of our lives where all we ever fed our
Speaker 1: kids was Annie's shells and cheese with with peas. Yeah,
Speaker 1: and it was like we were like, well, at least
Speaker 1: the peas are real food. We're doing all right. Like there,
Speaker 1: that's like what I am still feeding our children at
Speaker 1: about that level. Like my my exhaustion level like week
Speaker 1: to week is like at least sevent that level of cooking,
Speaker 1: which is just like here's some nuggets, I'm throwing them
Speaker 1: in the oven. I'm ordering food. I'm doing like I'll
Speaker 1: give them fruit or like try to sneak a vegetable in.
Speaker 1: But like for the at least the last I would
Speaker 1: say six months, you're the only one who's cooked like
Speaker 1: a real meal for our children. It's true, and I
Speaker 1: aim to get back there. I just don't like, how
Speaker 1: about with a new kitchen. With a new kitchen, maybe
Speaker 1: I just haven't had time to like think of a meal,
Speaker 1: go to the grocery store by said ingredients for said meal,
Speaker 1: like the number of steps it takes. That's why I
Speaker 1: love Americas. That's text kitchen best simple recipes under thirty minutes.
Speaker 1: And I usually have enough in greed and then there's
Speaker 1: like five I do over and over because I when
Speaker 1: I'm at the grocery store, I'm like, oh, I need salmon, chives, butter,
Speaker 1: that's it, asparagus um. But what did I remember? What
Speaker 1: one years old? In that high chair? What did we
Speaker 1: throw down on that on the It was like fifty blueberries,
Speaker 1: so many blueberries, um, and just yeah, it's all gonna
Speaker 1: be tiny cut up stuff. What did we do cut up?
Speaker 1: Like we just cut the chicken chicken. I remember we
Speaker 1: started doing meat and that scared me so much. I
Speaker 1: cut it so tiny. We were cutting a lot of
Speaker 1: things very tiny for Britain especially, maybe not so much.
Speaker 1: Like here's a chunk of cheese. Yeah, she was like hardy,
Speaker 1: she was like, I'll figure it out. I made them grilled.
Speaker 1: They've never liked grilled cheese until this this weekend. They've
Speaker 1: had a weird thing about grilled cheese that has been
Speaker 1: driving me crazy, Like I only offer it every month
Speaker 1: or so or less because they're so weird about it.
Speaker 1: But I'm like, how do you not like grilled cheese?
Speaker 1: Because Brince said he didn't like melted cheese? And I go, okay,
Speaker 1: how about I grill it? Watch me? And I had
Speaker 1: him watch me do it, and then he was like, oh,
Speaker 1: this is just a bunch of melted cheese. For a while,
Speaker 1: he also had a thing about like case ideas where
Speaker 1: he would get any remember, like we used to try
Speaker 1: that a lot, and he would just like always. This
Speaker 1: is probably back to my mom being so annoyed that
Speaker 1: I didn't want to eat this thing that was unhealthy.
Speaker 1: Oh it's flawed, and she's like, you gotta let you
Speaker 1: love the flaw on. I'm like this is gross, and
Speaker 1: she's like, it's so bad for you, you've gotta like it.
Speaker 1: It's like and I had the same feeling. I was like,
Speaker 1: I'm so angry you don't like grilled cheese. It's terrible
Speaker 1: for you. You should love it. Yeah, they're just yeah,
Speaker 1: you can't. You can't reason with these insane little people. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I'm on there a no list for crying out loud. Um, So,
Speaker 1: do we have any tricks? Fruit? Cut up fruit? Yeah,
Speaker 1: it's really at that age. It still is to a
Speaker 1: large extent, like practice at eating like that, this is
Speaker 1: not like gonna be you know, you're just throw them
Speaker 1: little bits of whatever you're eating, and then when they
Speaker 1: don't eat any of that, give them fruit and garbage,
Speaker 1: you know, give them puffs. Like it's not like it
Speaker 1: is that thing that we tried to do. I don't know.
Speaker 1: Sometimes we were getting more work, which is that like
Speaker 1: just whatever you're eating you just said that, just like
Speaker 1: throw a little bit on their tray. But they're just
Speaker 1: not rational human beings and you can't like, don't beat
Speaker 1: yourself up for their logic. But it was it's again,
Speaker 1: other people's advice is not gonna solve this problem. It's
Speaker 1: gonna be trial. And like we we stumbled upon things
Speaker 1: just like throwing things at our kids and one day
Speaker 1: they ate like a blueberry and we were like, that's it.
Speaker 1: We've solved it right. Well, and kids just like fixate
Speaker 1: on certain things. We were just like, okay, if that's
Speaker 1: the thing, and I can get some food in them today, great,
Speaker 1: Like currently our kids are into sticky rice like they
Speaker 1: like are like, that's what they stipulate when we like
Speaker 1: order foot and the like. How did you guys come
Speaker 1: up with this? I didn't even hear that, right, I
Speaker 1: don't know, but this is that's what they get when
Speaker 1: we're ordering food and we are just tired. And I
Speaker 1: got salmon, and may even got a little pizza, and
Speaker 1: she ate my dinner. She's like, can I have your salmon?
Speaker 1: I was like, she seems to like fish in general,
Speaker 1: they like salmon. They both will eat that. Um, give
Speaker 1: him salmon. Salmon just falls apart. Let's look at the
Speaker 1: picture of this baby again. Should be I know you
Speaker 1: guys can't see it, but just listen. Try to see
Speaker 1: this baby's face by the sound we make when we
Speaker 1: see the baby. Ready, one, two, three, He's so cute.
Speaker 1: That's a good pose too. He's like innocent, but a
Speaker 1: part of him is also like I see, he's just
Speaker 1: like an old soul trapped in a teency body. And
Speaker 1: I love him. I mean, we love him. Um, he's perfect.
Speaker 1: I do I want, really want to continue to encourage
Speaker 1: people to send in photos of their children. I don't want.
Speaker 1: I don't mean this sound as angry as I did
Speaker 1: towards the listener who didn't send a photo of the
Speaker 1: baby he described as his large son and I but
Speaker 1: there's still time. I forgive him. There's still time to
Speaker 1: send me a photo, and we will not post them.
Speaker 1: This is truly. We won't post your photos on the
Speaker 1: internet that everyone is too scared to share. Um. I mean,
Speaker 1: we'll post pictures of our kids. It's all we've ever known.
Speaker 1: We're shameless and we have no sense of security. We're
Speaker 1: I'm We're gonna have kids online and coronavirus in our bodies. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I mean, no no boundaries, we know, no bounds. What
Speaker 1: part of how I feel about the coronavirus is that,
Speaker 1: let's book end of this podcast with I feel like,
Speaker 1: given my given our disgusting pale bodies and are my
Speaker 1: in particular horrible allergies, the universe owes it to me
Speaker 1: that I think my ancestors survived plagues and this coronavirus
Speaker 1: is not going to take me guns. Germ is in steel. Yeah,
Speaker 1: that's the Europeans conquered the world because we we're so
Speaker 1: gross the plague. I do think I believe that my
Speaker 1: ancestors are among the most disgusting people on the planet
Speaker 1: in terms of germ sharing. The French in the middle
Speaker 1: of the plague Middle Ages. White people and still I
Speaker 1: mean white people for much of history are among the
Speaker 1: worst at spreading germs. We are filthy. It's the geography.
Speaker 1: It's not the people, but the people are a results
Speaker 1: of the geography. No, it's not just the geography. It's
Speaker 1: like like white people throughout We're gonna end by throwing
Speaker 1: all white people under the bus. No, just historically we
Speaker 1: are bad and we need to own that. White people historically,
Speaker 1: like throughout colonization, like they mocked medicine and things from
Speaker 1: other cultures. So like black women were doing c sections
Speaker 1: like sterilized in Africa like thousands of years ago. But
Speaker 1: people up until the Dred You can watch the ken
Speaker 1: Burns documentary on the Mayo Clinic and the Mayo brothers
Speaker 1: or whatever their names are, they like Joey Mayo people
Speaker 1: people in America at that time, we're willfully not washing
Speaker 1: their hands before performing surgery because they wanted to mock
Speaker 1: this new information about how germs might be spread. And
Speaker 1: they're all like brand known is the spirit of America.
Speaker 1: And I am going to wrap up this podcast by saying,
Speaker 1: go wash your hands, even if it's not about you
Speaker 1: getting sick. Yes, I will say, as much as we
Speaker 1: are making light of the coronavirus, there are people with
Speaker 1: serious h compromised immune systems who are older than Some
Speaker 1: people have compromisedmune systems. Some people off tiny babies into
Speaker 1: your elbow, Into your elbow if you feel, don't buy
Speaker 1: a mask. You don't need a mask, but cough into
Speaker 1: your elbow, your hands. Vote for someone who wants universal
Speaker 1: health care. This has been another episode of We Knows Parenting.
Speaker 1: If you would like to send us an email, ask
Speaker 1: us your question, send us some listeners, wan who knows,
Speaker 1: or send us a picture of your baby. You can
Speaker 1: do so email us that we Knows pot at gmail
Speaker 1: dot com, or you can leave us a voicemail at
Speaker 1: three four seven three eight four seven three nine six. Um.
Speaker 1: Won't you leave us a review? Um? Um? The last
Speaker 1: review we got this woman didn't like our opinions on
Speaker 1: car seats and it's valid, but somebody let's push that
Speaker 1: one down. Okay? Um? And uh find us on Twitter, Instagram,
Speaker 1: Facebook and We Knows pod. Guess what buy my book
Speaker 1: by your book? He knows that there's no manual. There's
Speaker 1: nothing there's nothing manual, there's no manual. See you next time.
Speaker 1: Bye bye m