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Speaker 1: Lots. If it doesn't work, you're just not using enough.

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Speaker 1: You're listening to Software Radio, Special Operations, Military Nails and

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Speaker 1: straight talk with the guys in the community.

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Speaker 2: Welcome to another awesome episode of soft Rep Radio. I

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Speaker 2: am the host rad and you have tuned in once again,

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Speaker 2: and if you're new, welcome to the show. All right now,

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Speaker 2: first off, before I introduced my two guests today, So

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Speaker 2: we have a threesome going on here, okay, which I

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Speaker 2: heard is what the macarena stands for, which you didn't know, Hey,

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Speaker 2: Macharina the dance it's supposed to be something about a threesome.

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Speaker 2: So we have a threesome today. And what we're gonna

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Speaker 2: what we're gonna do is we're talking about the merch

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Speaker 2: store real quick, okay, So soft rep dot Com Forward

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Speaker 2: slash merch Go check out the merch store, pick up

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Speaker 2: some branded items that say soft Rep and we love

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Speaker 2: the support and it really helps to keep the fireplace going.

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Speaker 2: Number two is our book club and it's soft Rep

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Speaker 2: dot Com Forward slash book hyphen Club. And I know

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Speaker 2: Brandon Webb and the guys behind the scenes are putting

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Speaker 2: books in there that they think that you would like

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Speaker 2: and as curators. I know you'll like them too, so

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Speaker 2: go check out the book club through soft rep dot com.

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Speaker 2: Now I'm gonna introduce these two gentlemen here as soon

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Speaker 2: as I read this little excerp here about the book

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Speaker 2: that they're gonna talk about. Well, let me just introduce, okay,

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Speaker 2: So for I have former Seal Lieutenant Rob Salver s

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Speaker 2: excuse me, Rob Sarver, and I have Alex gen Zier. Okay,

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Speaker 2: now let me just read this real quick. A compassionate,

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Speaker 2: practical guidebook for veterans transitioning from active duty to civilian life,

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Speaker 2: for the loved ones and supporting their journey. Challenging yet reassuring.

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Speaker 2: A key addition to every veterans packing list. Stan McCrystal,

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Speaker 2: General US Army, retired and co founder and CEO of

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Speaker 2: the McCrystal Group. He left you a review about this

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Speaker 2: book that we're going to talk about, which is called

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Speaker 2: A Warrior to Civilian and I have again former Seal

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Speaker 2: Lieutenant Rob Sarver and Alex Genzer, the authors. Welcome to

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Speaker 2: the show. Thank you so much, Ed, thank you for

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Speaker 2: having us, Hey, thank you for being on the show,

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Speaker 2: and thanks to Dina for having you. Get on the show.

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Speaker 2: Really appreciate the reach out.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, very generous of her and very generous of you.

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Speaker 3: We take any and all chances to talk about our

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Speaker 3: book and our sense of mission.

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Speaker 2: Yes, and your book is up for pre order right now.

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Speaker 2: So the book that we're talking about, you can go

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Speaker 2: on to Amazon. In fact, let me just let me

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Speaker 2: just pretend that I'm listening to the show at the

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Speaker 2: same time, and I'm just going to go right out

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Speaker 2: of Amazon here and check out this book, Warrior to Civilian,

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Speaker 2: the Field Manual for the Hero's Journey, and you can

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Speaker 2: pre order it right now. So go check out Warrior

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Speaker 2: to Civilian and get on the list that comes out

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Speaker 2: in what about January twenty twenty five? Is that what

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Speaker 2: we're thinking, Yes, end of January twenty end of January. Now, Rob,

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Speaker 2: as someone who's transitioned from the military life into civilian life,

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Speaker 2: let's talk about the first part of the transition, which

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Speaker 2: is the civilian to military. Okay, so here you are

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Speaker 2: as a young man, as a civilian who is now

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Speaker 2: going to join the military. How old were you when

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Speaker 2: you decided this is my calling. I'm going through the

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Speaker 2: military joining the Navy.

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Speaker 4: May I think my journey, my call to adventure, if

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Speaker 4: we stick to the hero's journey from Joseph Campbell, really

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Speaker 4: started when I was eighteen, and I guess I needed

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Speaker 4: more punishment. I went to two different military colleges and

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Speaker 4: spent five years in military college. So I did one

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Speaker 4: year at Virginia Military Institute and I transferred to the

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Speaker 4: Naval Academy. And that's my Annapolis, right, Annapolis? Yes, So

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Speaker 4: my journey started eighteen.

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Speaker 2: Eighteen years old. And what was your focus of studies

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Speaker 2: going in? So did you go to West.

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Speaker 4: Point no vm? I for a year Virginia Military.

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Speaker 2: Institute, So what was your goal? You're like, Okay, I'm

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Speaker 2: going to join the military, but my degree is going

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Speaker 2: to be.

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Speaker 4: Start electrical engineering. And then when I transferred the Naval Academy,

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Speaker 4: I switched to computer science. And then it was actually

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Speaker 4: on September eleventh, I switched again. I remember switching my

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Speaker 4: classes to oceanography right before the planes hit the tower.

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Speaker 2: No kidd, and so didn't even see that. So you

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Speaker 2: were just choosing classes.

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Speaker 4: Well I did. I got out of class early to

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Speaker 4: go switch my major. So I was walking back to

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Speaker 4: my company area and I saw people running towards kind

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Speaker 4: of the common space of the ward room to watch

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Speaker 4: the TV. And that's when the planes hit.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, they're probably quick pace moving to it. What's going on?

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Speaker 2: What's going on? Holy cow? That's about yeah, eight something

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Speaker 2: in the morning. And I remember where I was on

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Speaker 2: nine to eleven. And so here you are at a

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Speaker 2: college ROTC going through military it's being put into you.

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Speaker 4: Right, yes, yes, the morning. So the Naval academy.

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Speaker 2: What do you think? And like, when do I go? Right,

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Speaker 2: how do I deploy? You're like in the Naval Academy?

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Speaker 4: Right, it's like, yeah, I mean some of the first

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Speaker 4: thoughts were Okay, this became very real. You know, what's

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Speaker 4: what's going on? Obviously everybody star for information and then

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Speaker 4: but then there was also the realization that I still

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Speaker 4: had two and a half years to finish, yeah, before

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Speaker 4: I would have my chance.

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Speaker 2: Jeez. So did you go straight from did you have

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Speaker 2: a sealed contract? No?

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Speaker 4: I I tried to have a normal civilian college experience

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Speaker 4: in a military college and that doesn't usually work out well.

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Speaker 4: So I stood a lot of restriction marching around with

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Speaker 4: a rifle, and I missed a few holidays in there,

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Speaker 4: and no, I had to kind of go grow up

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Speaker 4: for a little bit in big Navy.

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Speaker 2: Okay, did you ever do laundry in the Navy? Like

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Speaker 2: on a ship? Like?

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Speaker 4: No, I was the I was the first lieutenant on

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Speaker 4: a frigate. So everything painting the ship, busting up rust,

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Speaker 4: helicopter operations, shipboarding operations, that was all that all fell

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Speaker 4: to me.

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Speaker 2: So very cool. My dad was a calms guy on

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Speaker 2: a frigate in Vietnam in the Navy. Yeah, yep, yep, yep,

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Speaker 2: that was pretty good. Then he transferred into the SF

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Speaker 2: and became a Green Beret later in life.

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Speaker 4: But wow, smart yeah, smart man.

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Speaker 2: Well, I mean, hey, you know, I always asked him,

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Speaker 2: didn't you have to have two languages to be a

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Speaker 2: s F? He's like, does Morris Code not count as

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Speaker 2: a second? I was like, but I hear you say

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Speaker 2: Russian all the time around the house, but never like

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Speaker 2: directly at me, Dad, Like, what's going on here?

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Speaker 4: You know, it was a very competitive year two thousand

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Speaker 4: and four coming out of the Naval Academy, so I

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Speaker 4: had to go do my time big Navy for a

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Speaker 4: couple of years.

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Speaker 2: Yeah. So the Global War on Terror was already kicked off. Yes,

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Speaker 2: now you're deployed out into the fleet as a lieutenant

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Speaker 2: or no, as an ensign? Right, would that be an ensign?

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Speaker 2: And so the rank of lieutenant is that like a

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Speaker 2: lieutenant commander, that'd be like a major maybe in an

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Speaker 2: army In five?

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Speaker 4: No three, I got three, it's like a captain.

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Speaker 5: Captain.

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Speaker 2: Okay, just to put in perspective from my own thought process. Now, now,

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Speaker 2: how did you and Alex meet together? Can I get

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Speaker 2: this little relationship? Because here you are in the navy

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Speaker 2: and I know Alex.

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Speaker 5: Go ahead, Rob and I met through common friends and work.

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Speaker 3: We were working together on a bunch of stuff. I

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Speaker 3: think that we found a friendship, a kinship. My belief

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Speaker 3: about if you've been around the block in life is

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Speaker 3: that if you find kindred spirits and you start talking,

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Speaker 3: it goes pretty deep, pretty fast. We started talking about

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Speaker 3: life transition, recovering from loss, what it means to grow

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Speaker 3: and kind of become the man you're meant to be

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Speaker 3: if you can do that. And part of the output

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Speaker 3: of those conversations over over beers late at night was really,

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Speaker 3: how do we make a contribution if we can to veterans.

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Speaker 3: It just came up kind of naturally, and I think

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Speaker 3: the thing that fueled it in the beginning, which we

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Speaker 3: find interesting and unique in terms of the books that

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Speaker 3: are out there, is that while Rob and I couldn't

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Speaker 3: have had more different backgrounds and places we came from,

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Speaker 3: we had an utter commonality in life experience once you

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Speaker 3: took off the labels, and how we went through it,

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Speaker 3: how we attempted to grow. I think our sense of

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Speaker 3: having failed and succeeded a different point in life and

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Speaker 3: what it means to put these things not for yourself

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Speaker 3: but for others in an attempt to serve others in

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Speaker 3: some way that I think we're all meant to do

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Speaker 3: and gives meaning to your life. So, gosh, Rob, you're

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Speaker 3: used to my long answers.

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Speaker 5: What would you add a subtract to that?

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Speaker 4: I would add. Alex and I were working at a

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Speaker 4: private equity shop. He was the general counsel. I was

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Speaker 4: a director working there, and I had no experience on

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Speaker 4: the debt side of the house, private term loans and credit.

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Speaker 4: So Alex kind of took me under his wing and

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Speaker 4: was we were doing weekly calls as he would teach

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Speaker 4: me the markets on that side. But conversations, like Alex said,

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Speaker 4: soon shifted over to the commonality. He started asking how

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Speaker 4: I dealt with some of these transitions in life coming

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Speaker 4: out of the military, losing a lot of friends in

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Speaker 4: combat and training. And after those many conversations, he told

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Speaker 4: me more and more about his personal experiences, his personal loss.

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Speaker 4: He came back probably about a month later, he said, Hey, Rob,

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Speaker 4: we should really memorialize everything that you've been through helping

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Speaker 4: vats transition. Like they're already reaching out to you privately,

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Speaker 4: like why don't we put everything that you've been taught

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Speaker 4: into a book? And then let's let's put some more

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Speaker 4: substance around this. Let's give them some frameworks to work through.

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Speaker 4: Let's give them tell them what they're about to experience

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Speaker 4: when they come out.

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Speaker 2: Exactly, which is why you guys call it the FM

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Speaker 2: the Field Manual. Right, It's like, right there, we all

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Speaker 2: know Field Manual. Look at the FM. Did you r

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Speaker 2: T FM? Did you you know? I'm not going to

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Speaker 2: break that acronym down, but if you know what it

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Speaker 2: is coming down below? Okay, because Warrior to Civilian the

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Speaker 2: Field Manual for the hero's journey. I believe you guys

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Speaker 2: want to talk about how you enlist and how like

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Speaker 2: you did swear an oath rob and you did go

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Speaker 2: in and uh and and then you get out. It's like, okay,

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Speaker 2: is it all on me? Did I go get everything

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Speaker 2: checked off with the range to make sure that I'm

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Speaker 2: a good shooter? Did I go get all these things

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Speaker 2: checked off by all these people in the military that

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Speaker 2: that maybe does matter to the outside transition. And here

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Speaker 2: you are trying to focus on all these things when

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Speaker 2: you should be focusing on like maybe you know, getting

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Speaker 2: a secondary lane opened up for yourself outside of the military.

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Speaker 2: But everybody seems to transition out of the military still

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Speaker 2: in the military, like it's like, oh, go here, go here,

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Speaker 2: go here, But somewhere you have to take the exit

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Speaker 2: off the freeway, you know, and realize that you have to.

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Speaker 2: Now you're like, okay, where am I now? And you're

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Speaker 2: kind of like in this uncharted area that you've been

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Speaker 2: used to and the VA system, the veteran's administration system,

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Speaker 2: the benefit system, everybody always hears it's a nightmare, but

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Speaker 2: it's a better than not having anything at all. Okay,

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Speaker 2: which is out there? Okay, there is something and b

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Speaker 2: you know, just applying yourself at a younger age as

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Speaker 2: you transition out probably helps you better than when you're older,

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Speaker 2: and you should have done it when you were younger.

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Speaker 2: And I mean, like some of the troops that do

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Speaker 2: get wounded or get injured, or may have some mental

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Speaker 2: health issues that they don't dare go get checked out,

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Speaker 2: Like they don't dare to go get a colonoscopy because

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Speaker 2: they just feel embarrassed or it's something they don't want

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Speaker 2: to talk about. But you know, it's it's just help,

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Speaker 2: it's preventative. So I guess I'm just trying to say,

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Speaker 2: help us understand from your guys' thoughts on how this

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Speaker 2: prevented it, Like how we can help with this book,

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Speaker 2: you know.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, I think and Alex you know, jumping here too,

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Speaker 4: because very early on we spoke with commands Egeant Major

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Speaker 4: Tom Satterley, who's over at Delta for a long time,

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Speaker 4: and what you just said, we spend all this time

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Speaker 4: in the military training for a specific task or mission,

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Speaker 4: operation whatever it is, you know, to align to some

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Speaker 4: sort of strategic strategy, you know, the why, being serviced

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Speaker 4: the constitution, and we transition out. But but he made

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Speaker 4: a really good point is we do nothing to train

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Speaker 4: to get out, and this is a different terrain. This

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Speaker 4: is a different purpose in our lives. This is a

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Speaker 4: completely new language, and we do nothing to really prepare

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Speaker 4: for that, and that really hit us very early on

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Speaker 4: as we start a drafting and outlining this book, Alex,

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Speaker 4: is anything you want to add what Tom said to

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Speaker 4: that point.

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Speaker 5: Yeah, I think that's at the heart of it.

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Speaker 3: And let me also read forgive me for detouring for

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Speaker 3: one second. For veterans and their spouses listening, I want

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Speaker 3: to say, with great humility, I never had the honor

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Speaker 3: of serving Rob, and I spent the last five years

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Speaker 3: devoted to this book and our sense of mission to

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Speaker 3: help veterans and their families.

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Speaker 5: And so when I speak with.

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Speaker 3: Rad with Rob on this podcast, I hope you get

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Speaker 3: a sense of my humility about not having served and

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Speaker 3: not wanting to tell you about stuff that I've never done.

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Speaker 5: Rob, you hit the nail on the head.

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Speaker 3: I think that essential insight that nothing has prepared you

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Speaker 3: for leaving the military in the way you did for

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Speaker 3: training for a mission. And you know, we've done hundreds

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Speaker 3: of interviews, We've read every book and article out there,

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Speaker 3: and we saw patterns.

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Speaker 5: One of the patterns.

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Speaker 3: That fits through almost every chapter is that few if

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Speaker 3: any are prepared for this life transition. So what lessons

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Speaker 3: can we bring from our own failures and attempted successes,

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Speaker 3: from our research, from hearing the most moving stories, imaginable

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Speaker 3: stories that left us in tears, would leave anyone in

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Speaker 3: tears also with great inspiration and hope. It's not just tears.

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Speaker 3: How can we do that? How can we use.

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Speaker 5: That in service of veterans and their families?

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Speaker 3: And because this transition for many is like, as we've

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Speaker 3: come to use this expression, it's like stepping off a cliff.

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Speaker 3: It's like stepping off a cliff into the unknown for

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Speaker 3: any of us, no matter how rough and tough, that

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Speaker 3: is a challenge that.

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Speaker 5: Can be scary.

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Speaker 3: And so our book is an attempt to do just

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Speaker 3: what Rob said, is to help folks prepare.

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Speaker 5: And train for it.

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Speaker 3: And that's really one of the essential intermost parts of

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Speaker 3: it that we have attempted to pull together for veterans

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Speaker 3: and their families in a way that we don't think

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Speaker 3: exists out there.

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Speaker 2: Well. And even Stan McCrystal, right, General McCrystal says, you know,

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Speaker 2: take this, read this if you're transitioning out, you know,

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Speaker 2: use this as a field manual for you know, a

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Speaker 2: template to give you some kind of idea of what

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Speaker 2: you know you can transition into and out of, et cetera.

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Speaker 2: I do recall, like my dad, you know, being a

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Speaker 2: medically discharged at forty one years old. I remember this.

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Speaker 2: So I'm from a young family. I was probably about

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Speaker 2: you know, thirteen fourteen when that was going down, and so,

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Speaker 2: you know, my mom became basically the VA and the

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Speaker 2: veteran's advocate. So she was the one that helped push

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Speaker 2: you know, the paper's work through for disability ratings and

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Speaker 2: denials come through. And then she wouldn't let that be

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Speaker 2: the last denial. She would say that's not the case,

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Speaker 2: and then they would approve it, you know, deny, denied, approve.

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Speaker 2: Nothing was changed, bro, I just resent it each time,

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Speaker 2: you know. So here I am watching my mom later

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Speaker 2: in her life, in her sixties, pushing my dad in

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Speaker 2: his sixties around the VA, right, and it's wearing her out.

303
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Speaker 2: But he's already worn out now, green beret marathon runner,

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Speaker 2: broken down heart issues. You know, no one new to

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Speaker 2: check his heart at thirty six, thirty nine, forty years old.

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Speaker 2: He's still active duty green beret, which is like what

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Speaker 2: you would think guys in your position, you know, extreme athletes,

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Speaker 2: someone who's been nurtured and you know, and grown into

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Speaker 2: this elite operator, you would think that they would run

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Speaker 2: you through some system ops of like let's check your

311
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Speaker 2: health every two months, you know, just make sure that

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Speaker 2: the CT scans going around you and you're getting your

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Speaker 2: heart checked. Because you guys are the cream of the crop.

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Speaker 2: Why are we not and why are we not taking

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Speaker 2: care of that right? First of all? On second, why

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Speaker 2: isn't the government really stepping up to the plate to

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Speaker 2: really present more than just like an eight hundred number.

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Speaker 2: If you've called the VA recently, I have, it was

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Speaker 2: an hour and fifteen minute hold, hour and fifteen to

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Speaker 2: get through to get because you know, as a fiduciary

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Speaker 2: for things in my life, I have to go through

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Speaker 2: these PROCs hour and fifteen minutes. So it's kind of

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Speaker 2: like it it makes you not even want to do it.

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Speaker 4: Right, You're hitting out a lot of things there, so

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Speaker 4: you I mean, you look at you know that the

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Speaker 4: annual turnover you know folks transitioning out of the military

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Speaker 4: is roughly twenty percent, so you're dealing a couple hundred

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Speaker 4: thousand up to June and fifty thousand a year transitioning

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Speaker 4: out of the military. So, yes, there are great resources

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Speaker 4: out there, you know, the VA and the government does

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Speaker 4: they've tried to put those resources in place, but there's

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Speaker 4: this too many of us getting out. There's too many,

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Speaker 4: you know, for twenty years of this asymmetric warfare environment

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Speaker 4: we've been at with the PTSD, Moral injury TBI, there's

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Speaker 4: there's too much for the system to handle. So you

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Speaker 4: see that and all the nonprofits that are popping up.

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Speaker 4: If you just take a step back and there's I

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Speaker 4: think there's roughly forty thousand nonprofits in the United States

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Speaker 4: to help veterans, and there's a lot of there's a

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Speaker 4: lot of other ones out there that just to help these.

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Speaker 2: Wall Like the VFW is free, right, You go to

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Speaker 2: the VFW and they're not there to take anything from

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Speaker 2: you as a veteran. You know, if you go to

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Speaker 2: one of these places, they're like pay us. You might

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Speaker 2: want to think about that. You should just be like, hey,

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Speaker 2: you know this, Just go to the VFW first of all,

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Speaker 2: and they'll point you into a direction in your area

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Speaker 2: of who works with probably the best resources is I

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Speaker 2: would think that's kind of a good spot to start.

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Speaker 3: There's a lot of sorry, there's a lot of resources,

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Speaker 3: and we've spoken to many folks in the government, at

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Speaker 3: the DoD, at the VA, at VET centers, at hospitals,

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Speaker 3: and our overriding impression is that while many vets don't

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Speaker 3: have a positive sense of it, we believe these are

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Speaker 3: incredibly well intentioned people. But as Rob and you were saying,

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Speaker 3: the stats, the numbers are just too big. There's twenty

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Speaker 3: two million veterans alive today. That's the highest number in

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Speaker 3: our country's history. Rob and you mentioned the numbers getting

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Speaker 3: out every year. There's about fifteen million spouses. There's several

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Speaker 3: other million folks in their ecosystem that are caregivers or

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Speaker 3: larger family members. It's too big a problem an issue

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Speaker 3: to solve.

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Speaker 5: It's up to us.

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Speaker 3: It's up to podcasts like yours, and we hope our

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Speaker 3: book makes a contribution to give folks tools. But it

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Speaker 3: is it is an issue that has come to a

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Speaker 3: head in our country because of the consequences of the

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Speaker 3: result the consequences of the end of our twenty years

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Speaker 3: wars in Iraq and Afghanistan. We all have to own

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Speaker 3: that and make a contribution. It's what we owe each other.

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Speaker 2: Yep. They usually say these days that you could turn

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Speaker 2: to your left or right and meet somebody who's been

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Speaker 2: in the conflict of the global War on tear. You know,

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Speaker 2: a neighbor or somebody really close, really like right around you.

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Speaker 2: You know, somebody's gone off and done it right. So

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Speaker 2: I mean one of three here, there's Rob. He's already

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Speaker 2: gone to do that. You know, it's just like that.

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Speaker 4: So Rod, you also touched on something. And if I

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Speaker 4: could just use your mom and dad as an example.

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Speaker 4: With this and a framework, we're introduced into the book.

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Speaker 4: And Alex, I heard this at twenty years twenty years

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Speaker 4: ago in the Naval Academy when I was taking a

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Speaker 4: class by a Master Chief, Will Guild, who is a

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Speaker 4: sealed master chief who was teaching ethics at the Naval Academy.

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Speaker 4: He was the first enlisted to do it. Incredible, incredible guy.

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Speaker 4: And it worked out well because Alex has a lot

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Speaker 4: of education in Greek mythology. But Heracles gives us the

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Speaker 4: circles a concern, and that first circle is self. You

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Speaker 4: have to fix yourself when you're coming out of this journey.

390
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Speaker 4: You've gone to the known universe to the unknown and

391
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Speaker 4: you're coming out and you're dealing with all these issues.

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Speaker 4: Some people may come into full circle and have some

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Speaker 4: sort of knowledge of self and be able to transition

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Speaker 4: very successfully, but a lot of people can't. They they're

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Speaker 4: clouded either through a PTSD, TBI, a physical injury, a

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Speaker 4: moral and a breathement atonement, whatever it may be. If

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Speaker 4: you don't take ownership to fix the self and take number.

398
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Speaker 4: You're in the military, so a lot of your choices

399
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Speaker 4: already being made for you. Now you have to take

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Speaker 4: that power of choice and give it back to yourself.

401
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Speaker 4: You have to go help the self to get to

402
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Speaker 4: the next concentric ring of family, and ultimately, as the

403
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Speaker 4: family unit comes together, you're a contributing minor to the

404
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Speaker 4: community and then we look out at society and then

405
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Speaker 4: you can go very you know, very grandiose and beyond

406
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Speaker 4: and you know where I fit in the universe if

407
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Speaker 4: you really want to go that deep. But going back

408
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Speaker 4: to you know, just your just your example of the family.

409
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Speaker 4: Before family, you have to fix the self. I just

410
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Speaker 4: wanted to highlight that it's one of the one of

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Speaker 4: the frameworks we talk about well.

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Speaker 2: And you know, obviously all the flight attendants have are

413
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Speaker 2: well aware of hercules or heracles excuse me, because they're like,

414
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Speaker 2: put the oxygen mask on you first before you put

415
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Speaker 2: it on your kid. Okay, on you first, right, They're

416
00:21:58,080 --> 00:22:01,320
Speaker 2: like everybody oxygen on you first. And that makes total sense.

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Speaker 2: If you take care of you first, you could take

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Speaker 2: care of who you want to take care of second. Correct,

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Speaker 2: that's right, because nobody loves you more than you. No

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Speaker 2: one ever will, I guess say I love you, and

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Speaker 2: I can try to help you, but at the end

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Speaker 2: of the day, I have to care about me and

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Speaker 2: you have to care about you, and so you have

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Speaker 2: to be kind of selfish to yourself and love yourself.

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Speaker 2: And it's okay.

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Speaker 4: And it's a very different way to think, alex, I'm sorry,

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Speaker 4: I think I'll cut you off. It's a very different

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Speaker 4: way to think because when we look at you know,

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Speaker 4: the adage of the seal teams and just the military large,

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Speaker 4: it's team teammate self right, we always put ourselves last.

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Speaker 4: We're never going to go in and get that self

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Speaker 4: help unless we're like, you know, I really needed to

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Speaker 4: go to the hospital.

434
00:22:42,240 --> 00:22:43,960
Speaker 2: But it's so true.

435
00:22:44,040 --> 00:22:46,800
Speaker 5: Yeah, Alexah, no, rad I love your sense of humor.

436
00:22:47,359 --> 00:22:49,159
Speaker 3: I've been told I'm too serious since I was in

437
00:22:49,280 --> 00:22:51,840
Speaker 3: nursery school, so I benefit from it.

438
00:22:52,280 --> 00:22:55,560
Speaker 5: There's a lot there in what you said. I think that.

439
00:22:57,280 --> 00:23:00,240
Speaker 3: The subtitle of our book is the Hero's Journey, as

440
00:23:00,320 --> 00:23:02,920
Speaker 3: Rob was alluding to, and at the heart of it,

441
00:23:03,080 --> 00:23:06,240
Speaker 3: that's a way not just to look at big stories

442
00:23:06,280 --> 00:23:07,920
Speaker 3: like Homer's illi de and Odyssey, it's a way to

443
00:23:07,920 --> 00:23:11,040
Speaker 3: look at your life and if you can reframe your

444
00:23:11,080 --> 00:23:14,800
Speaker 3: sense of yourself in your own journey, where your return

445
00:23:14,920 --> 00:23:18,720
Speaker 3: from the military has you having to live in this

446
00:23:19,240 --> 00:23:22,200
Speaker 3: mundane world of shopping malls and things you got to

447
00:23:22,240 --> 00:23:26,320
Speaker 3: do job, but also where you've come from and the

448
00:23:26,400 --> 00:23:29,199
Speaker 3: gifts they may not seem like gifts initially, but the

449
00:23:29,240 --> 00:23:33,200
Speaker 3: tremendous powers inside of yourself that you got from those experiences,

450
00:23:34,040 --> 00:23:37,920
Speaker 3: and you can combine them, you have a way to

451
00:23:37,920 --> 00:23:41,280
Speaker 3: touch on what Rob was saying of finding some self healing,

452
00:23:42,119 --> 00:23:45,360
Speaker 3: and God knows, we have veterans with the wounds of war,

453
00:23:45,400 --> 00:23:48,920
Speaker 3: whether they're visible or not, and that's a fundamental first

454
00:23:48,960 --> 00:23:50,520
Speaker 3: step that everyone.

455
00:23:50,640 --> 00:23:52,080
Speaker 5: Deserves to give themselves.

456
00:23:52,440 --> 00:23:55,240
Speaker 3: There's a lot there, But where we go with it,

457
00:23:55,400 --> 00:24:00,080
Speaker 3: and what we try and give our readers is you

458
00:24:00,119 --> 00:24:04,800
Speaker 3: can do that, and you can lift up those around you,

459
00:24:04,800 --> 00:24:09,080
Speaker 3: your family, your community, your friends. Think about the impact

460
00:24:09,080 --> 00:24:12,760
Speaker 3: on our country by this kind of approach to life.

461
00:24:13,080 --> 00:24:18,600
Speaker 3: Then you bring back tremendous superpowers and gifts that can

462
00:24:18,640 --> 00:24:21,600
Speaker 3: add tremendous meaning in your life, give you an avenue

463
00:24:21,680 --> 00:24:24,280
Speaker 3: to refined purpose in your life, which is an enormous

464
00:24:24,359 --> 00:24:27,320
Speaker 3: challenge when you have a life transition of any kind,

465
00:24:27,520 --> 00:24:28,280
Speaker 3: certainly when.

466
00:24:28,119 --> 00:24:31,160
Speaker 5: You leave the military. Those are really.

467
00:24:30,880 --> 00:24:35,160
Speaker 3: Important things and hard to write about because ultimately everyone

468
00:24:35,240 --> 00:24:38,560
Speaker 3: has to internalize it and follow their own path. But

469
00:24:38,600 --> 00:24:41,840
Speaker 3: I think Rob and I feel to some small degree,

470
00:24:41,880 --> 00:24:44,080
Speaker 3: perhaps from our own lives what we've tried to do,

471
00:24:44,160 --> 00:24:46,400
Speaker 3: but what we think is available to veterans and their

472
00:24:46,400 --> 00:24:50,720
Speaker 3: families is this kind of approach, and it gives a

473
00:24:50,800 --> 00:24:54,719
Speaker 3: tremendous sense of purpose and even redemption. I've thrown out

474
00:24:54,720 --> 00:24:57,240
Speaker 3: a lot of big words, but what you say, your

475
00:24:57,560 --> 00:25:01,560
Speaker 3: humor aside, is so rich that we could talk for hours.

476
00:25:02,000 --> 00:25:05,000
Speaker 5: Rob, please adder some track to me, correct me.

477
00:25:06,040 --> 00:25:08,520
Speaker 4: I think that was well said.

478
00:25:09,080 --> 00:25:12,560
Speaker 2: I think I was listening. I'm like you have the floor, sir, Yes,

479
00:25:15,040 --> 00:25:17,560
Speaker 2: and eloquent as well. And boys keep saying nice things

480
00:25:17,600 --> 00:25:21,720
Speaker 2: go ahead because kindness is infectious, okay, and it's never

481
00:25:21,800 --> 00:25:24,920
Speaker 2: out of style, so it's okay. And again we should

482
00:25:25,000 --> 00:25:28,760
Speaker 2: be positive with ourselves. It's us. You know. People are like,

483
00:25:28,800 --> 00:25:30,680
Speaker 2: why do you have you on a shirt, and I'm like, well,

484
00:25:30,680 --> 00:25:32,520
Speaker 2: because somebody put it on there and showed me and

485
00:25:32,560 --> 00:25:34,520
Speaker 2: I loved it, and I was like, I'll take ten

486
00:25:34,560 --> 00:25:35,199
Speaker 2: thousand of them.

487
00:25:36,880 --> 00:25:40,840
Speaker 4: Yeah, you got a movie named after you?

488
00:25:40,880 --> 00:25:43,920
Speaker 2: I mean well, and I'm also in movies, so there's

489
00:25:43,960 --> 00:25:46,520
Speaker 2: that too, buddy. You can go watch a fire Starter

490
00:25:46,600 --> 00:25:49,080
Speaker 2: from Stephen King. I play the dad to the fire

491
00:25:49,119 --> 00:25:52,920
Speaker 2: starter Andy McGee with telekinesis, so I can I try

492
00:25:52,920 --> 00:25:55,119
Speaker 2: to tell her to stop being like blowing stuff up.

493
00:25:55,440 --> 00:25:56,560
Speaker 5: Let me return the favor.

494
00:25:56,600 --> 00:25:58,840
Speaker 3: If I wore that shirt rad that you're wearing, you

495
00:25:58,880 --> 00:26:01,879
Speaker 3: know what, my two boys would huh Dad, you expect

496
00:26:01,920 --> 00:26:02,879
Speaker 3: too much from that shirt?

497
00:26:03,240 --> 00:26:06,840
Speaker 2: Oh the legends? Oh yeah? Oh yeah no, yeah, that's

498
00:26:06,960 --> 00:26:08,880
Speaker 2: my boxing shirt. I don't know which. I know you're

499
00:26:08,880 --> 00:26:10,280
Speaker 2: talking about my shirt with me on it, but.

500
00:26:10,560 --> 00:26:12,239
Speaker 3: Let me, let me, let me just add Let me

501
00:26:12,280 --> 00:26:16,680
Speaker 3: just add one thing because in I'm ribbing you and yeah,

502
00:26:16,720 --> 00:26:18,240
Speaker 3: I get it, I appreciate your spirit.

503
00:26:18,440 --> 00:26:19,280
Speaker 5: Let me add one thing.

504
00:26:19,800 --> 00:26:25,320
Speaker 3: The things I was talking about healing, service contribution, having

505
00:26:25,359 --> 00:26:28,520
Speaker 3: a transcendent cause as a civilian, as a civilian warrior.

506
00:26:28,560 --> 00:26:31,760
Speaker 3: We have a chapter on that. Those are real, those

507
00:26:31,760 --> 00:26:35,960
Speaker 3: are life meaningful things. But I don't want to forget

508
00:26:36,000 --> 00:26:42,040
Speaker 3: about the lightness, the joy, the love, the tremendous life

509
00:26:42,080 --> 00:26:46,320
Speaker 3: opportunity which is just amazing. It's not all serious topics,

510
00:26:46,359 --> 00:26:47,520
Speaker 3: and we try and.

511
00:26:47,480 --> 00:26:50,520
Speaker 5: Cover those two, but this is available.

512
00:26:49,960 --> 00:26:52,760
Speaker 3: To everyone in their life journeys. And I think Rob

513
00:26:52,800 --> 00:26:55,720
Speaker 3: and I both feel blessed that we have found those things.

514
00:26:56,720 --> 00:27:00,639
Speaker 3: So it's it's really important stuff. It's serious stuff, but

515
00:27:00,680 --> 00:27:03,240
Speaker 3: there's also lightness and love here that's available, and I

516
00:27:03,240 --> 00:27:06,400
Speaker 3: think it's really important to remember that well.

517
00:27:06,440 --> 00:27:09,200
Speaker 2: And you said earlier like hey, I haven't had any

518
00:27:09,200 --> 00:27:11,680
Speaker 2: military this, that or the other. And I'm gonna say

519
00:27:11,680 --> 00:27:15,119
Speaker 2: that you being a part of this and servicing the

520
00:27:15,200 --> 00:27:18,440
Speaker 2: service member is just as important as the service member

521
00:27:18,480 --> 00:27:21,800
Speaker 2: of servicing the constitution. I mean, we can only just

522
00:27:22,200 --> 00:27:24,520
Speaker 2: be the pit crew for our military personnel. So when

523
00:27:24,520 --> 00:27:27,320
Speaker 2: they come home, we could just be like, it's it,

524
00:27:27,400 --> 00:27:30,080
Speaker 2: are you good? Is you tire fixed? Okay? You need fuel?

525
00:27:30,080 --> 00:27:32,160
Speaker 2: Blah blah blah blah blah blah blah, Okay, cool, you good,

526
00:27:32,440 --> 00:27:34,560
Speaker 2: you know, I mean you want me wash your windows? Bro?

527
00:27:34,720 --> 00:27:36,920
Speaker 2: You're just not seeing clear, you know what I'm saying.

528
00:27:36,960 --> 00:27:40,280
Speaker 2: I mean, we as the civilians on the outside who

529
00:27:40,359 --> 00:27:42,560
Speaker 2: say you support the military. On the inside, we're the

530
00:27:42,560 --> 00:27:45,639
Speaker 2: pit crew, right, And so when they get out and

531
00:27:45,680 --> 00:27:48,440
Speaker 2: they come home and they're your neighbor, and you didn't

532
00:27:48,480 --> 00:27:51,320
Speaker 2: realize that they were some former seal guy who's been

533
00:27:51,359 --> 00:27:55,280
Speaker 2: through tor Boris caves looking at cooking teapots and almost

534
00:27:55,320 --> 00:27:58,760
Speaker 2: burned out cigarette butts because they're chasing bad guys. But

535
00:27:58,840 --> 00:28:01,720
Speaker 2: here they are. They're also your your baseball coach. They're

536
00:28:01,760 --> 00:28:04,760
Speaker 2: also your high school teacher, you know, so you know,

537
00:28:04,920 --> 00:28:08,439
Speaker 2: or someone in your church you just never know. And

538
00:28:08,480 --> 00:28:11,240
Speaker 2: funny enough, my dad would go to church and sometimes

539
00:28:11,520 --> 00:28:14,040
Speaker 2: he would come in his uniform, his his camis, his

540
00:28:14,080 --> 00:28:17,679
Speaker 2: woodlands from work from drill, and I'd be like, how

541
00:28:17,720 --> 00:28:19,960
Speaker 2: can you get to wear your uniform? He's like, because

542
00:28:20,080 --> 00:28:23,119
Speaker 2: God knows what I do is right. It's like I

543
00:28:23,160 --> 00:28:25,760
Speaker 2: don't always have to wear my tie by suit, you know,

544
00:28:25,840 --> 00:28:27,320
Speaker 2: And he'd come in walk it in. I was like,

545
00:28:27,600 --> 00:28:29,640
Speaker 2: I got camouflage at home too, how come I can't

546
00:28:29,640 --> 00:28:35,879
Speaker 2: wear it? You know, I've got exactly, so you know,

547
00:28:35,960 --> 00:28:39,600
Speaker 2: as long as we can be you know, pay a

548
00:28:39,600 --> 00:28:42,880
Speaker 2: full full circle, right, you know that's it, you just but.

549
00:28:43,960 --> 00:28:46,280
Speaker 4: I mean, but even the way you know Alex is

550
00:28:46,320 --> 00:28:49,480
Speaker 4: talking presenting this, it's also highlights another thing that we

551
00:28:49,480 --> 00:28:52,640
Speaker 4: were discussing the book is, uh, vetters need to find

552
00:28:52,640 --> 00:28:56,520
Speaker 4: a mentor. They need to find someone and if that's

553
00:28:56,560 --> 00:28:59,320
Speaker 4: to go, you know, deal with personal problems or things

554
00:28:59,320 --> 00:29:02,200
Speaker 4: within a marriage, something that's happening, or you know, a

555
00:29:02,240 --> 00:29:05,560
Speaker 4: traumatic event that happened in service, find someone to talk to,

556
00:29:05,800 --> 00:29:07,719
Speaker 4: but also find that mentor on the outside that's going

557
00:29:07,760 --> 00:29:10,640
Speaker 4: to help them navigate everything as they come out into

558
00:29:10,640 --> 00:29:14,520
Speaker 4: this different world to find new purpose, start a new chapter.

559
00:29:14,680 --> 00:29:17,800
Speaker 5: I love that all of us need guidance.

560
00:29:18,360 --> 00:29:21,920
Speaker 3: I've been extremely lucky in my life how I grew

561
00:29:22,000 --> 00:29:25,840
Speaker 3: up the resources I had. But even so, at any

562
00:29:26,080 --> 00:29:28,040
Speaker 3: you could pick ten points in my life, I could

563
00:29:28,040 --> 00:29:30,160
Speaker 3: have fallen off and gone on the wrong side in

564
00:29:30,200 --> 00:29:34,600
Speaker 3: a heartbeat, and I was blessed to have mentors. And

565
00:29:34,680 --> 00:29:37,240
Speaker 3: I hope it doesn't sound presumptuous, but we hope our book,

566
00:29:37,280 --> 00:29:41,400
Speaker 3: our mission. Also the resources on our website, which is

567
00:29:41,440 --> 00:29:46,440
Speaker 3: Heroes hyphen Journey dot Net has a bunch of annexes available.

568
00:29:48,320 --> 00:29:51,120
Speaker 3: We want to serve in that capacity. We think it's

569
00:29:51,840 --> 00:29:54,000
Speaker 3: one of the ways that we're paying rent to be here.

570
00:29:54,520 --> 00:29:57,920
Speaker 2: Yeah, I love that, No, I do. And I think

571
00:29:57,960 --> 00:30:00,240
Speaker 2: that you know, if my listener out there or the

572
00:30:00,280 --> 00:30:03,720
Speaker 2: viewers watching and they're getting ready to transition, go go

573
00:30:03,800 --> 00:30:06,760
Speaker 2: put yourself down for that book, you know, pre order it,

574
00:30:07,320 --> 00:30:09,320
Speaker 2: get it to you so you have something to read.

575
00:30:09,120 --> 00:30:13,080
Speaker 2: And and honestly, it seems like Rob, you know, is

576
00:30:13,120 --> 00:30:15,920
Speaker 2: a mentor, and I think that what's in that book,

577
00:30:16,480 --> 00:30:18,680
Speaker 2: Rob is kind of what you thought. Hey, if I

578
00:30:18,680 --> 00:30:22,000
Speaker 2: could just say this to everybody, if I can just

579
00:30:22,080 --> 00:30:25,320
Speaker 2: have everybody together and just go over these things, and

580
00:30:25,360 --> 00:30:27,200
Speaker 2: that way you can just open up that book and

581
00:30:27,280 --> 00:30:30,320
Speaker 2: kind of see what you and what Alex have compiled

582
00:30:30,320 --> 00:30:33,520
Speaker 2: together for the transition outside of the military.

583
00:30:35,680 --> 00:30:37,480
Speaker 4: I wish I had, you know, if I could go

584
00:30:37,520 --> 00:30:39,800
Speaker 4: back and read that last chapter of life, which we

585
00:30:40,200 --> 00:30:41,880
Speaker 4: know is you know, we don't want to do right

586
00:30:41,920 --> 00:30:44,080
Speaker 4: because that takes away from some of the personal growth.

587
00:30:44,120 --> 00:30:46,640
Speaker 4: But if I could go back and read that last chapter,

588
00:30:47,120 --> 00:30:48,920
Speaker 4: there's a lot of things. Obviously I would do different.

589
00:30:49,280 --> 00:30:52,640
Speaker 4: Finding a mentor to talk about these things and navigate

590
00:30:52,640 --> 00:30:55,680
Speaker 4: these things, you know, the loss from combat, you know

591
00:30:55,720 --> 00:30:58,480
Speaker 4: that bereavement cycle that I just was kind of caught

592
00:30:58,520 --> 00:31:00,800
Speaker 4: that ENDOS feedback loop. I just couldn't forget past it

593
00:31:02,200 --> 00:31:06,840
Speaker 4: accepting some of those things, you know, being properly diagnosed,

594
00:31:06,920 --> 00:31:10,040
Speaker 4: going through you know, the VA system or whoever it was.

595
00:31:11,880 --> 00:31:14,160
Speaker 4: I wish I'd had that mentor to do that. But

596
00:31:14,560 --> 00:31:17,640
Speaker 4: you know, even with not having that, still took me

597
00:31:17,680 --> 00:31:20,440
Speaker 4: probably two years to kind of find that somewhere the

598
00:31:20,560 --> 00:31:23,160
Speaker 4: right balance. Yeah.

599
00:31:23,360 --> 00:31:27,120
Speaker 2: Now, now you had to have somebody that you looked

600
00:31:27,160 --> 00:31:29,560
Speaker 2: up to on the teams, even even as a as

601
00:31:29,680 --> 00:31:32,000
Speaker 2: as an ensigner, as an officer. Okay, I want to

602
00:31:32,000 --> 00:31:33,479
Speaker 2: throw that kind of a side. I know that at

603
00:31:33,480 --> 00:31:34,800
Speaker 2: the end of the day, you guys are all, you know,

604
00:31:34,880 --> 00:31:37,640
Speaker 2: bleeding the same blood together in the same box. Lis

605
00:31:37,680 --> 00:31:40,880
Speaker 2: like you you deployed, you were you were with Sealed

606
00:31:40,880 --> 00:31:44,560
Speaker 2: Team three. Correct, Yes, and so tell me take me

607
00:31:44,600 --> 00:31:47,240
Speaker 2: on on on an deployment like you went into where

608
00:31:47,800 --> 00:31:50,280
Speaker 2: what year and and go from there.

609
00:31:50,640 --> 00:31:52,880
Speaker 4: Okay, I was at let me think, so I was

610
00:31:52,920 --> 00:31:56,320
Speaker 4: at you just sort of headquarters in Balad, Iraq in

611
00:31:56,360 --> 00:32:01,360
Speaker 4: two thousand and six. I was in Flujjah two thousand

612
00:32:01,360 --> 00:32:05,040
Speaker 4: and eight, I was out in Al Chaim right on

613
00:32:05,040 --> 00:32:09,320
Speaker 4: the border Syria, Iraq twenty ten. That's all Iraq. Two

614
00:32:09,360 --> 00:32:12,680
Speaker 4: thousand and nine. I was an augmentee to Development Group

615
00:32:12,960 --> 00:32:17,960
Speaker 4: in nine that was Southern Afghanistan. And then I went

616
00:32:17,960 --> 00:32:21,800
Speaker 4: back to Southern Afghanistan my last deployment and the end

617
00:32:21,840 --> 00:32:26,960
Speaker 4: of two eleven into twenty twelve. Came back and got

618
00:32:26,960 --> 00:32:30,720
Speaker 4: out in thirteen and then so that was so five

619
00:32:30,760 --> 00:32:33,000
Speaker 4: trips over there. I rack Afghanistan. Then I did to

620
00:32:33,560 --> 00:32:35,440
Speaker 4: deployments on the ship.

621
00:32:35,520 --> 00:32:38,200
Speaker 2: And yeah, over multiple years, you know what I mean?

622
00:32:38,240 --> 00:32:42,720
Speaker 4: Like, yeah, nine years. Yeah, seven deployments, seven deployments, nine years.

623
00:32:42,760 --> 00:32:44,160
Speaker 2: How long is the deployment.

624
00:32:44,400 --> 00:32:47,200
Speaker 4: Anywhere from three the shortest morning and then up to

625
00:32:47,280 --> 00:32:48,440
Speaker 4: nine months is the longest.

626
00:32:48,760 --> 00:32:51,000
Speaker 2: Were you single or were you married?

627
00:32:51,200 --> 00:32:55,600
Speaker 4: Or kids or divorced? Now with a young son who's seven,

628
00:32:56,440 --> 00:32:58,760
Speaker 4: just wants to fight and rustle every morning, it's awesome.

629
00:32:59,120 --> 00:33:00,360
Speaker 2: But when you were in, did you?

630
00:33:00,440 --> 00:33:02,960
Speaker 4: Oh no, I was in. I was in a single

631
00:33:03,040 --> 00:33:03,960
Speaker 4: dating the whole time.

632
00:33:04,080 --> 00:33:06,840
Speaker 2: Yeah, so free spirit be able to just be deployed.

633
00:33:06,640 --> 00:33:09,479
Speaker 4: Uh dating the same person actually hung she hung with

634
00:33:09,520 --> 00:33:11,120
Speaker 4: me through every deployment.

635
00:33:11,200 --> 00:33:13,760
Speaker 2: Yeah, oh okay, no, that's what. Yes, So someone who

636
00:33:13,840 --> 00:33:15,800
Speaker 2: was there to you know, for you to write home to.

637
00:33:16,760 --> 00:33:19,600
Speaker 4: Yes, but I mean it's nothing of a normal courtship.

638
00:33:19,800 --> 00:33:23,520
Speaker 4: You come back and you deal with many funerals. So

639
00:33:23,600 --> 00:33:26,000
Speaker 4: you want to go out and focus on those people,

640
00:33:26,080 --> 00:33:28,440
Speaker 4: make that make sure they're okay. You never focus internally,

641
00:33:29,720 --> 00:33:31,240
Speaker 4: You never and then you know, before you know it,

642
00:33:31,280 --> 00:33:33,320
Speaker 4: you can like, well now I'm back in training cycle

643
00:33:33,840 --> 00:33:35,560
Speaker 4: and then I'm getting ready to go into sustainment. Then

644
00:33:35,600 --> 00:33:37,640
Speaker 4: I'm out the door again. And it's just this is

645
00:33:37,720 --> 00:33:39,680
Speaker 4: competed for process over and over and over.

646
00:33:40,800 --> 00:33:45,160
Speaker 2: M So who is your mentor during those times? What

647
00:33:45,240 --> 00:33:46,040
Speaker 2: did you look up to.

648
00:33:46,720 --> 00:33:49,600
Speaker 4: In the teams I had? I gravitated to a couple

649
00:33:49,560 --> 00:33:52,320
Speaker 4: of guys who were actually my buds, instructors who ended

650
00:33:52,360 --> 00:33:54,880
Speaker 4: up at still teem through with me. Just phenomenal guys

651
00:33:54,920 --> 00:33:57,360
Speaker 4: that you know, out of a thousand faces that come

652
00:33:57,360 --> 00:34:00,720
Speaker 4: through the door each year, they remembered me, I guess,

653
00:34:00,760 --> 00:34:03,120
Speaker 4: hopefully for the good things, not the bad. Not the

654
00:34:03,160 --> 00:34:06,400
Speaker 4: bad things I did, right, it's all good.

655
00:34:06,760 --> 00:34:07,640
Speaker 2: It's all good though.

656
00:34:07,720 --> 00:34:11,000
Speaker 4: Yeah, And some of them took me under my wing.

657
00:34:11,040 --> 00:34:13,240
Speaker 4: And then you know, I had this this close knit

658
00:34:13,680 --> 00:34:16,879
Speaker 4: uh coherd of friends, you know, a couple of guys

659
00:34:16,920 --> 00:34:18,840
Speaker 4: a couple of years older than the officer community, and

660
00:34:18,840 --> 00:34:21,040
Speaker 4: a couple of guys you know, a little bit younger

661
00:34:21,040 --> 00:34:24,720
Speaker 4: that I that I preciprocated and took care of them.

662
00:34:24,760 --> 00:34:28,239
Speaker 4: So in today and today my friends are my peer

663
00:34:28,239 --> 00:34:32,759
Speaker 4: group is commanding officer, just passed post commanding officer. Some

664
00:34:32,880 --> 00:34:34,480
Speaker 4: are pending on six right now?

665
00:34:34,920 --> 00:34:38,120
Speaker 2: Wow? Yeah, yeah, that's what What would that be in

666
00:34:38,160 --> 00:34:39,120
Speaker 2: the Navy at six?

667
00:34:39,400 --> 00:34:42,360
Speaker 4: Oh, captain, captain's commanders.

668
00:34:41,920 --> 00:34:44,560
Speaker 2: And that's the double railroad ties the crossbar or the

669
00:34:44,600 --> 00:34:47,760
Speaker 2: double bars right there, right total like yep, captain.

670
00:34:48,760 --> 00:34:52,120
Speaker 4: No, but the no captain be the eagle Navy captain,

671
00:34:52,440 --> 00:34:54,480
Speaker 4: the colonel until colonel.

672
00:34:54,560 --> 00:34:57,239
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, so it would be an eagle. Huh see

673
00:34:57,280 --> 00:35:01,359
Speaker 2: that's so cool about the Navy man. No, really, it's

674
00:35:01,400 --> 00:35:04,040
Speaker 2: like infantry.

675
00:35:04,719 --> 00:35:06,000
Speaker 4: We just like to confuse people.

676
00:35:06,239 --> 00:35:08,120
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's a little bit. It's a little bit. But

677
00:35:08,120 --> 00:35:10,600
Speaker 2: I learned that there's rates, right, and then I learned

678
00:35:10,600 --> 00:35:15,279
Speaker 2: about bosun's mate and gunner's mate and eod is a

679
00:35:15,400 --> 00:35:18,600
Speaker 2: rate you know, and seal would be a rate. Correct. Yes,

680
00:35:18,920 --> 00:35:24,960
Speaker 2: yes see, I'm learning Alex. We're learning Alex always, and

681
00:35:25,040 --> 00:35:26,000
Speaker 2: we're learning.

682
00:35:26,680 --> 00:35:29,120
Speaker 3: There's one other if I could interject there's one other

683
00:35:29,200 --> 00:35:33,000
Speaker 3: aspect of this book, which is both our own journeys

684
00:35:33,000 --> 00:35:36,600
Speaker 3: into it. That was really interesting. Every month or so

685
00:35:36,680 --> 00:35:38,520
Speaker 3: we would send out a draft of what we were

686
00:35:38,520 --> 00:35:41,239
Speaker 3: writing to get feedback to know if we were full

687
00:35:41,280 --> 00:35:43,600
Speaker 3: of our own blowney or actually made a difference and

688
00:35:43,760 --> 00:35:44,440
Speaker 3: was practical.

689
00:35:45,360 --> 00:35:47,840
Speaker 5: And when we thought we were done, Rob.

690
00:35:47,680 --> 00:35:53,000
Speaker 3: Got feedback from a friend and teammate and I will,

691
00:35:53,320 --> 00:35:55,480
Speaker 3: I will elaborate. Rob, you can, you can give me

692
00:35:55,520 --> 00:35:57,840
Speaker 3: a thumbs up or down. He said, you guys are crazy.

693
00:35:58,280 --> 00:36:02,120
Speaker 3: You do nothing about spouses. They are as important as

694
00:36:02,160 --> 00:36:04,319
Speaker 3: the veteran, Like, what is the matter with you two?

695
00:36:04,960 --> 00:36:08,879
Speaker 3: So in a very well meaning way, right, And so

696
00:36:09,160 --> 00:36:14,000
Speaker 3: we then said, wow, huge omission. We got to go

697
00:36:14,040 --> 00:36:16,360
Speaker 3: fix this. And it probably delayed us, I don't know,

698
00:36:16,480 --> 00:36:20,839
Speaker 3: nine months. And so we have a chapter about how

699
00:36:20,880 --> 00:36:24,919
Speaker 3: spouses transition. We rewrote several parts of the book to say,

700
00:36:24,920 --> 00:36:26,840
Speaker 3: when the veteran's getting out, if you have a spouse

701
00:36:26,960 --> 00:36:29,759
Speaker 3: or partner, whatever you want to call it, you got

702
00:36:29,760 --> 00:36:30,480
Speaker 3: to factor that in.

703
00:36:30,560 --> 00:36:32,080
Speaker 5: You got to act like a team. This is a

704
00:36:32,080 --> 00:36:33,279
Speaker 5: transition for both of you.

705
00:36:34,160 --> 00:36:38,840
Speaker 3: And we found very powerful stuff, very powerful moving quotes

706
00:36:39,120 --> 00:36:44,280
Speaker 3: and life stories from spouses, as well as many female

707
00:36:44,400 --> 00:36:47,759
Speaker 3: vets whose stories we can tell you. But what there's

708
00:36:47,800 --> 00:36:53,680
Speaker 3: some amazing things. Their transition is entirely parallel, no less

709
00:36:53,719 --> 00:36:57,799
Speaker 3: difficult than the veteran their experience, they're falling off a

710
00:36:57,840 --> 00:37:02,160
Speaker 3: cliff in their own life ecosystem. The incidents of secondary

711
00:37:02,239 --> 00:37:07,200
Speaker 3: PTSD for spouses and children has not been recognized or

712
00:37:07,239 --> 00:37:12,440
Speaker 3: easily diagnosed. Upheaval of family and location.

713
00:37:13,320 --> 00:37:15,359
Speaker 2: Where your kids go to school, where do.

714
00:37:15,280 --> 00:37:16,000
Speaker 5: You go shopping?

715
00:37:16,920 --> 00:37:20,280
Speaker 3: What happens when you've been waiting for your veteran spouse

716
00:37:20,360 --> 00:37:24,680
Speaker 3: to come home and you're both excited, and then that

717
00:37:24,760 --> 00:37:27,720
Speaker 3: person comes home and your marriage is at risk because

718
00:37:27,760 --> 00:37:31,920
Speaker 3: you've never you've not trained for that moment. These are amazing,

719
00:37:33,000 --> 00:37:36,719
Speaker 3: painful and also very inspiring stories, And so I didn't

720
00:37:36,719 --> 00:37:39,120
Speaker 3: want to forget a drone on sometimes.

721
00:37:39,200 --> 00:37:41,239
Speaker 5: But the role of spouses in.

722
00:37:41,200 --> 00:37:45,239
Speaker 3: The transition is something we felt was incredibly important and

723
00:37:45,280 --> 00:37:47,440
Speaker 3: that no other book had really accomplished.

724
00:37:47,600 --> 00:37:49,399
Speaker 5: Rob set me right.

725
00:37:49,640 --> 00:37:53,479
Speaker 4: No, No, just to give you due credit and justice

726
00:37:53,520 --> 00:37:55,200
Speaker 4: to who said that to? So A good friend of mine,

727
00:37:55,280 --> 00:37:59,160
Speaker 4: Dan Canausen, who is stultot one, actually came to my graduation.

728
00:38:00,160 --> 00:38:03,160
Speaker 4: I tried last time I saw him because then he

729
00:38:03,200 --> 00:38:06,160
Speaker 4: would deployed Afghanistan and his first op was a turnover

730
00:38:06,239 --> 00:38:09,879
Speaker 4: op and uh uh taking the high ground, stepped into

731
00:38:09,880 --> 00:38:13,480
Speaker 4: an id field, lost both legs and I mean you

732
00:38:13,520 --> 00:38:17,719
Speaker 4: talk about someone you you love the guy, but meant

733
00:38:18,000 --> 00:38:20,440
Speaker 4: everything that that guy's accomplished, he has gone and he

734
00:38:20,480 --> 00:38:24,120
Speaker 4: has redefined purpose and what it means to have a

735
00:38:24,160 --> 00:38:28,960
Speaker 4: disability now and just crush life. I mean got into Harvard,

736
00:38:29,000 --> 00:38:33,440
Speaker 4: he's uh six seven medals now from the Paralympics.

737
00:38:34,080 --> 00:38:35,640
Speaker 2: I think he got a new legs to make him

738
00:38:35,680 --> 00:38:43,960
Speaker 2: six foot seven, broken RoboCop or like, yeah, that'd be cool, though.

739
00:38:43,840 --> 00:38:45,359
Speaker 4: I want to be a basketball player. I just want

740
00:38:45,360 --> 00:38:49,560
Speaker 4: to make himself tollerant. Yeah exactly, I'm sixty seven Harvard. Yeah. Yeah.

741
00:38:52,120 --> 00:38:54,560
Speaker 4: But Dan was the one that took a step back

742
00:38:54,600 --> 00:38:56,440
Speaker 4: and is like, guys, you have to put something in

743
00:38:56,480 --> 00:38:59,680
Speaker 4: there for spouses. So for that, thank you Dan.

744
00:39:00,040 --> 00:39:00,600
Speaker 2: And that's the way.

745
00:39:01,200 --> 00:39:02,000
Speaker 4: Yeah, thank you Dan.

746
00:39:02,640 --> 00:39:05,200
Speaker 2: Yes, it's true. And again to touch back on my

747
00:39:05,239 --> 00:39:08,800
Speaker 2: mom and dad, that's how that's how I can relate.

748
00:39:09,239 --> 00:39:12,600
Speaker 2: It's very much a spouse. My mom when my dad

749
00:39:12,680 --> 00:39:15,320
Speaker 2: was deployed for three to six months at a time

750
00:39:15,800 --> 00:39:18,600
Speaker 2: doing whatever with the SF guys. I never realized it

751
00:39:18,640 --> 00:39:20,799
Speaker 2: was any different. But my mom took My mom was

752
00:39:20,840 --> 00:39:23,719
Speaker 2: the dad. My mom was the mom. My mom was

753
00:39:24,120 --> 00:39:27,440
Speaker 2: the butcher, the baker, every single thing in the house.

754
00:39:27,640 --> 00:39:30,160
Speaker 2: She was the whole Swiss army knife. And she had

755
00:39:30,160 --> 00:39:32,239
Speaker 2: the toothpick behind her ear to prove it, you know.

756
00:39:32,320 --> 00:39:37,600
Speaker 2: So it was like when dad comes home, he needs

757
00:39:37,640 --> 00:39:40,560
Speaker 2: to realize, you know, that she's been waking me up

758
00:39:40,560 --> 00:39:42,719
Speaker 2: every morning to get me to school, to get the

759
00:39:42,760 --> 00:39:44,680
Speaker 2: car started, to get me down there to come back,

760
00:39:44,680 --> 00:39:47,560
Speaker 2: and then dad just falls into it. I'm home. I

761
00:39:47,600 --> 00:39:50,839
Speaker 2: never saw any difficulty between my mom and dad, right,

762
00:39:50,920 --> 00:39:53,560
Speaker 2: I always saw that transition kind of like, hey, dad's home.

763
00:39:53,760 --> 00:39:55,400
Speaker 2: We're all at the armory. All of his guys are

764
00:39:55,400 --> 00:39:57,440
Speaker 2: taking off all their rucks, getting out of formation and

765
00:39:57,520 --> 00:40:00,000
Speaker 2: hugging the families. It just kind of seemed like the process.

766
00:40:00,120 --> 00:40:04,520
Speaker 2: But that's because mom my dad's you know, my the

767
00:40:04,560 --> 00:40:07,160
Speaker 2: spouse and the family, you know, took care of the

768
00:40:07,200 --> 00:40:11,200
Speaker 2: situation at home. And that's tough work because usually takes two,

769
00:40:11,520 --> 00:40:13,920
Speaker 2: you know, kind of to run things together in a household,

770
00:40:14,360 --> 00:40:16,920
Speaker 2: and he has to go to work. Right, It's like

771
00:40:16,960 --> 00:40:19,839
Speaker 2: me going to work and my wife watching two kids here.

772
00:40:19,960 --> 00:40:23,360
Speaker 2: Well I'm at work. Oh, I'm at work on a keyboard,

773
00:40:24,000 --> 00:40:26,520
Speaker 2: working hard for eight hours today. But she's at home

774
00:40:26,600 --> 00:40:29,799
Speaker 2: right taking care of the house. So, you know, and

775
00:40:29,840 --> 00:40:31,759
Speaker 2: then when I come home, I have to realize, like, hey,

776
00:40:31,840 --> 00:40:33,719
Speaker 2: she's already been going through all this all day, this

777
00:40:33,800 --> 00:40:35,359
Speaker 2: is what's been. This is where I come in at.

778
00:40:35,600 --> 00:40:37,520
Speaker 2: Let me put away the dishes, let me try to

779
00:40:37,560 --> 00:40:40,640
Speaker 2: do some things extra, you know, to offset all of

780
00:40:40,640 --> 00:40:43,719
Speaker 2: that extra workload, and then and not be so demanding.

781
00:40:44,239 --> 00:40:45,719
Speaker 2: I think that's what it is, right. We have to

782
00:40:45,719 --> 00:40:48,359
Speaker 2: be so understanding and having this compromise with each other.

783
00:40:48,480 --> 00:40:51,440
Speaker 2: So especially if you're deploying and dude, you're doing like

784
00:40:51,480 --> 00:40:54,080
Speaker 2: hot washmen, You're like you're doing hot missions, you know,

785
00:40:54,160 --> 00:40:56,600
Speaker 2: especially in ninety day, like some type of ranger or

786
00:40:56,680 --> 00:40:58,840
Speaker 2: navy seal coming home and you guys are spun and

787
00:40:58,880 --> 00:41:02,200
Speaker 2: you come home, it's so slow. I'd imagine it's like molasses,

788
00:41:03,520 --> 00:41:03,799
Speaker 2: you know.

789
00:41:04,160 --> 00:41:06,200
Speaker 4: It a little bit of decompression there to get used to.

790
00:41:06,440 --> 00:41:08,600
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, right, you know now.

791
00:41:08,600 --> 00:41:11,600
Speaker 4: But you're also highlighting your mom went through probably a

792
00:41:11,640 --> 00:41:13,759
Speaker 4: loss of identity as your father did, a loss of

793
00:41:13,800 --> 00:41:17,120
Speaker 4: community and having to refine that, reestablish that I'm sure

794
00:41:17,120 --> 00:41:20,399
Speaker 4: there was some. If it wasn't voiced or seen by you,

795
00:41:20,440 --> 00:41:24,000
Speaker 4: there's probably somewhere internalized that there was coping with that.

796
00:41:25,040 --> 00:41:27,680
Speaker 2: Yeah, she got more jealous of him donating all of

797
00:41:27,680 --> 00:41:31,160
Speaker 2: his time after retirement to the church working in the warehouse,

798
00:41:31,680 --> 00:41:34,040
Speaker 2: because he would work like forty to eighty hour weeks

799
00:41:34,040 --> 00:41:38,200
Speaker 2: pulling pallet jacks for the food bank, and she's like, Jack,

800
00:41:38,440 --> 00:41:40,840
Speaker 2: you spend more time there than you do here. I

801
00:41:40,840 --> 00:41:44,000
Speaker 2: think she liked him deploying and coming home versus every

802
00:41:44,040 --> 00:41:46,359
Speaker 2: single day like going to this other job. But he

803
00:41:46,920 --> 00:41:49,000
Speaker 2: after he retired, he needed to do something and he

804
00:41:49,040 --> 00:41:50,759
Speaker 2: felt like his church was always there for him. So

805
00:41:50,800 --> 00:41:53,160
Speaker 2: he went and served as church as like a mission

806
00:41:53,200 --> 00:41:55,000
Speaker 2: in that church as a Mormon. And that's what he

807
00:41:55,040 --> 00:41:57,200
Speaker 2: went and did. Was the food warehouse was his church.

808
00:41:57,360 --> 00:41:59,360
Speaker 2: That's where he had his first real heart attack. I

809
00:41:59,440 --> 00:42:01,640
Speaker 2: think that's why she kind of was like, you know,

810
00:42:03,400 --> 00:42:06,280
Speaker 2: lift up that palate, Jack, just palate jacket, palajacket.

811
00:42:07,000 --> 00:42:09,319
Speaker 4: Yeah, that was his new purpose. That was him turn

812
00:42:09,440 --> 00:42:10,760
Speaker 4: the page, finding his new journey.

813
00:42:10,960 --> 00:42:14,319
Speaker 2: Yeah, exactly. And and he was that, you know, and

814
00:42:14,360 --> 00:42:17,960
Speaker 2: he was a loyal, dedicated individual. So whether he was

815
00:42:18,000 --> 00:42:20,080
Speaker 2: in the military or in his faith or in the

816
00:42:20,120 --> 00:42:22,759
Speaker 2: Boy Scouts. He just went full on, you know, so

817
00:42:23,960 --> 00:42:26,400
Speaker 2: ran every marathon and he ran, never stepped out of it,

818
00:42:26,440 --> 00:42:29,719
Speaker 2: you know, completed everything he always did and instilled in

819
00:42:29,760 --> 00:42:31,600
Speaker 2: me to be a business owner and to be the

820
00:42:31,640 --> 00:42:34,360
Speaker 2: best person and a voice actor without even realizing it,

821
00:42:34,400 --> 00:42:36,399
Speaker 2: because he'd always read like all of these books like.

822
00:42:36,360 --> 00:42:38,080
Speaker 4: The best voice actor ever.

823
00:42:38,360 --> 00:42:40,520
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, the Hunt are in October. He'd read it

824
00:42:40,520 --> 00:42:42,400
Speaker 2: to me and he would try to read it in

825
00:42:42,400 --> 00:42:44,520
Speaker 2: this Russian accent. Remember how he told you morrise code.

826
00:42:44,600 --> 00:42:47,560
Speaker 2: I'd always ask him, you read He's like Russian and Russian,

827
00:42:47,560 --> 00:42:49,759
Speaker 2: and I'm like, Dad, are you do you speaking? No? No,

828
00:42:49,800 --> 00:42:53,239
Speaker 2: I don't speak Russian. I'm like, wait, so confused. You

829
00:42:53,320 --> 00:42:56,600
Speaker 2: seem like you speak Russian. But his theater of operation

830
00:42:56,800 --> 00:43:00,759
Speaker 2: was like the Philippines and the Pacific, you know that

831
00:43:00,840 --> 00:43:05,240
Speaker 2: whole Asia, Pacific, Thaighland, everything. So but yeah, dude, you guys,

832
00:43:05,640 --> 00:43:08,040
Speaker 2: you guys go through a lot, Okay, I call I

833
00:43:08,120 --> 00:43:13,360
Speaker 2: call Special Forces, Navy Seals, rangers, you know, just extreme athletes,

834
00:43:13,560 --> 00:43:17,440
Speaker 2: Olympic style athletes you know that put themselves through it, Alex.

835
00:43:17,520 --> 00:43:20,520
Speaker 2: You know, they're like run on this beach, carrying this

836
00:43:20,719 --> 00:43:23,319
Speaker 2: and these and those and all of your friends are dead.

837
00:43:23,400 --> 00:43:26,360
Speaker 2: Now you're like, okay, I did it. You know that's

838
00:43:26,480 --> 00:43:29,640
Speaker 2: there's just some type of mental wall they can break down,

839
00:43:29,719 --> 00:43:30,520
Speaker 2: you know what I mean.

840
00:43:30,440 --> 00:43:35,360
Speaker 4: Dude, Yeah, there's there's Yeah, there's a there's a stress

841
00:43:35,400 --> 00:43:38,839
Speaker 4: inoculation piece to that as well, you know, absorbing more

842
00:43:38,840 --> 00:43:42,160
Speaker 4: and more stress and kind of you know, compartmentalizing and

843
00:43:42,239 --> 00:43:42,840
Speaker 4: oculating that.

844
00:43:42,960 --> 00:43:45,480
Speaker 2: Yeah. I knew you were going to say compartmentalizing it.

845
00:43:45,520 --> 00:43:47,240
Speaker 4: I felt it.

846
00:43:47,480 --> 00:43:49,239
Speaker 2: I felt it. It's like you got to put it

847
00:43:49,280 --> 00:43:50,719
Speaker 2: back here, but then it pops up right.

848
00:43:51,160 --> 00:43:53,040
Speaker 4: I mean, every vet's got to throw that word out right.

849
00:43:53,800 --> 00:43:57,360
Speaker 2: Compart to menalize it. Yes, you know, it's it's so true.

850
00:43:57,360 --> 00:44:01,240
Speaker 2: And just because like and somebody doesn't serve the military

851
00:44:01,239 --> 00:44:03,600
Speaker 2: doesn't mean that they don't serve the military, you know,

852
00:44:03,680 --> 00:44:05,680
Speaker 2: and serve our country one way or another.

853
00:44:05,800 --> 00:44:09,160
Speaker 4: So you know, I think that's it. No, I mean,

854
00:44:09,600 --> 00:44:12,120
Speaker 4: right spot on, And I think that's a great Another

855
00:44:12,200 --> 00:44:14,759
Speaker 4: universal thing with this book is my past and my

856
00:44:14,800 --> 00:44:18,839
Speaker 4: experience wanting to transition out and to get into some

857
00:44:18,920 --> 00:44:22,959
Speaker 4: sort of life experience that Alex had on the civilian side,

858
00:44:23,560 --> 00:44:25,919
Speaker 4: and him being able to tell that side is like okay, Rob,

859
00:44:25,960 --> 00:44:30,759
Speaker 4: But these universal things that you're feeling, they're not not

860
00:44:30,840 --> 00:44:34,560
Speaker 4: just confined to the military. Like I've had these hard

861
00:44:34,560 --> 00:44:36,719
Speaker 4: transitions in my life and everything. You need to be

862
00:44:36,760 --> 00:44:39,600
Speaker 4: prepared for this as well. So I think there's a great,

863
00:44:40,120 --> 00:44:43,040
Speaker 4: you know, dichotomy between the two of us and our stories.

864
00:44:43,360 --> 00:44:46,319
Speaker 2: Oh it completely like say, somebody out there just gives

865
00:44:46,320 --> 00:44:49,000
Speaker 2: themselves to the company, to the corporate corporate gods, and

866
00:44:49,000 --> 00:44:50,680
Speaker 2: they work for this is my thing. I'm going to

867
00:44:50,760 --> 00:44:52,759
Speaker 2: make this a career and then they're like, we don't

868
00:44:52,760 --> 00:44:55,359
Speaker 2: need you, goodbye. You're like, wait, whoa, but I gave

869
00:44:55,400 --> 00:44:57,160
Speaker 2: you my everything, but now you don't need me. Now

870
00:44:57,160 --> 00:44:59,279
Speaker 2: they have to transition and how do they how do

871
00:44:59,320 --> 00:45:01,400
Speaker 2: they cope with it? Going to go? It's kind of

872
00:45:01,400 --> 00:45:04,000
Speaker 2: the same thing. You give yourself to the military, you

873
00:45:04,040 --> 00:45:06,280
Speaker 2: go get checked out at METS. You give a healthy

874
00:45:06,600 --> 00:45:10,600
Speaker 2: body with no problems to them, and then when you

875
00:45:10,640 --> 00:45:13,160
Speaker 2: get out things start to happen. You're like, oh, that

876
00:45:13,239 --> 00:45:15,000
Speaker 2: did happen When I was in I did break my

877
00:45:15,040 --> 00:45:18,120
Speaker 2: wrist and you know, those burn pits were really warm

878
00:45:18,120 --> 00:45:20,680
Speaker 2: at night, But that was bad, right, You know?

879
00:45:21,640 --> 00:45:24,240
Speaker 3: It can it can be like a car wash in reverse.

880
00:45:24,360 --> 00:45:26,560
Speaker 3: You know, you kind of go in ready and clean,

881
00:45:26,640 --> 00:45:28,480
Speaker 3: and sometimes you come out with some mud on you.

882
00:45:28,680 --> 00:45:30,560
Speaker 2: Yeah, you know, and then they want you just to

883
00:45:30,560 --> 00:45:32,239
Speaker 2: deal with that or cope with it, or call the

884
00:45:32,280 --> 00:45:34,759
Speaker 2: eight hundred number and wait, you know, and not to

885
00:45:34,760 --> 00:45:36,680
Speaker 2: be rooted to the VA, because I've had the former

886
00:45:36,719 --> 00:45:40,600
Speaker 2: director of the VA, who also teaches surfing okay on

887
00:45:40,920 --> 00:45:42,440
Speaker 2: here where he was like, I was in charge of

888
00:45:42,480 --> 00:45:44,840
Speaker 2: three hundred thousand people during COVID rat and I was

889
00:45:44,960 --> 00:45:48,120
Speaker 2: losing staff, you know, So I understand that it's real

890
00:45:48,239 --> 00:45:53,040
Speaker 2: to try to keep that organization going to handle all

891
00:45:53,080 --> 00:45:55,920
Speaker 2: of the needs of our veterans out there, all right,

892
00:45:56,000 --> 00:45:59,320
Speaker 2: especially with you like talking two hundred thousand plus veterans

893
00:45:59,360 --> 00:46:03,279
Speaker 2: getting out at different ages. You know.

894
00:46:05,880 --> 00:46:10,239
Speaker 3: One thing Rad you've touched on that is central I

895
00:46:10,239 --> 00:46:12,600
Speaker 3: think in terms of how Rob and I have attempted

896
00:46:12,640 --> 00:46:15,680
Speaker 3: to view our lives and the contribution we're seeking to make,

897
00:46:15,920 --> 00:46:21,040
Speaker 3: is that if you look at life transitions, major life transitions,

898
00:46:21,480 --> 00:46:23,960
Speaker 3: and of course we're focused on leaving the military for

899
00:46:24,000 --> 00:46:27,759
Speaker 3: the veteran of the spouse, but there's a commonality.

900
00:46:27,800 --> 00:46:31,160
Speaker 5: Of clues that are left for success.

901
00:46:30,880 --> 00:46:33,840
Speaker 3: And challenge, and if you look at this as just

902
00:46:33,880 --> 00:46:36,239
Speaker 3: an enormous life challenge or obstacle.

903
00:46:37,239 --> 00:46:38,360
Speaker 5: What are the ways, what are the.

904
00:46:38,400 --> 00:46:41,000
Speaker 3: Lessons you can draw from the stories of others, and

905
00:46:41,040 --> 00:46:45,560
Speaker 3: how we've attempted to distill it for your benefit because

906
00:46:45,560 --> 00:46:49,160
Speaker 3: people have gone through it for thousands of years. In fact,

907
00:46:49,200 --> 00:46:53,400
Speaker 3: the stories from ancient Greece are as relevant today as

908
00:46:53,440 --> 00:46:57,400
Speaker 3: any other story. But the point is there are clues,

909
00:46:57,480 --> 00:47:02,520
Speaker 3: and there's patterns of success full mastery of life transitions

910
00:47:02,680 --> 00:47:05,479
Speaker 3: and ways that are very helpful, ways that have.

911
00:47:05,560 --> 00:47:07,840
Speaker 5: High impact and adaptability.

912
00:47:09,040 --> 00:47:11,400
Speaker 3: Rob has talked about in this regard the power of

913
00:47:11,520 --> 00:47:15,200
Speaker 3: choice in your devotion to the success of this transition.

914
00:47:16,040 --> 00:47:19,359
Speaker 3: So there's all kinds of ways to think about life transitions.

915
00:47:19,440 --> 00:47:22,759
Speaker 3: Our focus is leaving the military. One of the things

916
00:47:22,760 --> 00:47:24,319
Speaker 3: we try and do in our book, which we think

917
00:47:24,400 --> 00:47:28,120
Speaker 3: is a bit different, is put to use our sense

918
00:47:28,160 --> 00:47:31,719
Speaker 3: of how we've distilled those life lessons from many from

919
00:47:31,719 --> 00:47:34,640
Speaker 3: many quarters of life, non military and military. Why not

920
00:47:34,680 --> 00:47:37,080
Speaker 3: take the best of what's out there. And that has

921
00:47:37,160 --> 00:47:39,799
Speaker 3: been a part of what we've tried to do and

922
00:47:40,200 --> 00:47:42,920
Speaker 3: how Rob and I have spoken with each other about.

923
00:47:43,080 --> 00:47:43,880
Speaker 5: Our own lives.

924
00:47:44,280 --> 00:47:48,440
Speaker 3: So you're touching on like incredibly rich, interesting, valuable stuff.

925
00:47:50,239 --> 00:47:55,960
Speaker 2: Yeah, because maybe I've lived a little bit of it.

926
00:47:56,160 --> 00:47:57,879
Speaker 2: I don't mean to say it like that, but you know.

927
00:47:59,320 --> 00:48:01,840
Speaker 4: Tell us Ron Bernady kind of a big deal man.

928
00:48:01,880 --> 00:48:07,520
Speaker 2: You know, I'm like, tell me more, tell you more,

929
00:48:07,920 --> 00:48:10,920
Speaker 2: oxygen mask. Bro, I can't get over that enough. You

930
00:48:10,960 --> 00:48:12,839
Speaker 2: have to take care of yourself and then you can

931
00:48:12,920 --> 00:48:15,000
Speaker 2: take care of those next to you. Because if you're

932
00:48:15,000 --> 00:48:16,840
Speaker 2: not self helping yourself, what.

933
00:48:17,160 --> 00:48:18,840
Speaker 4: Are the odds you're going to yell for that stewardess

934
00:48:18,840 --> 00:48:21,920
Speaker 4: when you get on the plane or come help you.

935
00:48:22,080 --> 00:48:26,000
Speaker 2: Yeah? Yeah, yeah, what's to say they're even gonna be

936
00:48:26,040 --> 00:48:28,640
Speaker 2: on it when it pulls apart? Okay, because like it's

937
00:48:28,719 --> 00:48:30,360
Speaker 2: just you, bro, and you're.

938
00:48:31,680 --> 00:48:34,240
Speaker 4: It's on the news getting kicked off the airplane.

939
00:48:35,239 --> 00:48:36,840
Speaker 2: They love me on the plane now, they love me.

940
00:48:37,200 --> 00:48:40,240
Speaker 2: I'm not on any of those lists, my friend, don't

941
00:48:40,280 --> 00:48:44,160
Speaker 2: you dare? That's not my goal. I like to fly.

942
00:48:44,960 --> 00:48:47,160
Speaker 2: I bring little gifts for the crew. I feel that.

943
00:48:47,320 --> 00:48:49,879
Speaker 2: From London with Soft Rep. We went over there to

944
00:48:49,880 --> 00:48:54,600
Speaker 2: host the SAS versus Navy Seals boxing match, okay ye,

945
00:48:54,600 --> 00:48:56,200
Speaker 2: and I was the announcer in the ring and all

946
00:48:56,200 --> 00:48:58,160
Speaker 2: that kind of stuff, you know, for the Facebook Live.

947
00:48:58,400 --> 00:49:01,440
Speaker 2: But anyways, I always learned that if you want to

948
00:49:01,480 --> 00:49:03,759
Speaker 2: be nice to somebody, you'd be nice. So I went

949
00:49:03,800 --> 00:49:05,960
Speaker 2: to Herod's, which I didn't realize was a fancy place

950
00:49:06,000 --> 00:49:07,600
Speaker 2: at the airport, and I just bought a thing of

951
00:49:07,680 --> 00:49:10,359
Speaker 2: chocolates okay, and it came in a little Herod's bag

952
00:49:10,440 --> 00:49:13,719
Speaker 2: that's green and it's very identifiable. So I'm going and

953
00:49:13,760 --> 00:49:15,239
Speaker 2: I'm like, I'm gonna give this to the crew. It's

954
00:49:15,239 --> 00:49:17,560
Speaker 2: a long trans atlantic flight. They'll like a couple pieces

955
00:49:17,600 --> 00:49:19,640
Speaker 2: of chocolate. I'm walking through the airport with this little

956
00:49:19,640 --> 00:49:21,680
Speaker 2: bag in my hand and I get on the plane

957
00:49:21,680 --> 00:49:24,759
Speaker 2: and I'm like, this is for the crew and this

958
00:49:24,920 --> 00:49:26,399
Speaker 2: is for you guys. And I gave them the bag,

959
00:49:26,440 --> 00:49:29,120
Speaker 2: the Herod's bag with the chocolate in it, and they

960
00:49:29,120 --> 00:49:32,040
Speaker 2: were like, dude, they found my seat so fast you

961
00:49:32,080 --> 00:49:33,799
Speaker 2: would have thought that I was in first class that

962
00:49:34,040 --> 00:49:39,080
Speaker 2: entire flight from London to Utah because of just like

963
00:49:39,160 --> 00:49:42,160
Speaker 2: this chocolate. Late were individually wrapped, okay, so they could

964
00:49:42,160 --> 00:49:44,640
Speaker 2: each have one, and I just thought, what would this do?

965
00:49:44,680 --> 00:49:46,640
Speaker 2: Maybe I can get a drink or some extra food, right,

966
00:49:48,160 --> 00:49:50,959
Speaker 2: super cool man, every single one of them. Maybe two

967
00:49:51,040 --> 00:49:54,120
Speaker 2: years later, I'm going through the airport with my wife

968
00:49:54,160 --> 00:49:58,080
Speaker 2: and I see a flight attendant walking with this little

969
00:49:58,160 --> 00:50:02,560
Speaker 2: green Herod's bag that's and stapled and he's walking with

970
00:50:02,600 --> 00:50:04,839
Speaker 2: it to his terminal which we're about to fly out on.

971
00:50:05,120 --> 00:50:07,080
Speaker 2: He's like, ladies and gentlemen, please start the board for

972
00:50:07,160 --> 00:50:09,480
Speaker 2: you know, everybody that's cooler than rad. And I'm like,

973
00:50:09,760 --> 00:50:12,759
Speaker 2: I gotta wait. Fine, okay. So I finally get up

974
00:50:12,760 --> 00:50:14,800
Speaker 2: to him, I'm like, hey, I remember that bag. He's like,

975
00:50:14,840 --> 00:50:16,839
Speaker 2: it's you, and I was like, it's me. Next thing

976
00:50:16,880 --> 00:50:19,160
Speaker 2: you know, we're on the plane leaving. They were super

977
00:50:19,280 --> 00:50:21,440
Speaker 2: nice the whole time. Do you need anything extra? You

978
00:50:21,520 --> 00:50:24,759
Speaker 2: gave him the Herod's bag. He still was holding onto

979
00:50:24,800 --> 00:50:25,640
Speaker 2: it two years later.

980
00:50:25,960 --> 00:50:29,160
Speaker 3: Just the act of kindness, right, You can never be

981
00:50:29,239 --> 00:50:33,200
Speaker 3: accused of kindness or receiving gratitude. Think of saying, think

982
00:50:33,239 --> 00:50:35,120
Speaker 3: of the impact you had on those folks lives. It's

983
00:50:35,120 --> 00:50:35,840
Speaker 3: a great story.

984
00:50:36,520 --> 00:50:38,160
Speaker 2: I mean really, I just it just came out on

985
00:50:38,239 --> 00:50:40,680
Speaker 2: this episode to tell you about it, because yes, I

986
00:50:40,680 --> 00:50:42,120
Speaker 2: was over there, soft rep. Yes there was a bunch

987
00:50:42,120 --> 00:50:44,440
Speaker 2: of Navy seals involved, but it was just how do

988
00:50:44,480 --> 00:50:47,040
Speaker 2: I get an extra drink on the plane? Maybe you

989
00:50:47,080 --> 00:50:49,799
Speaker 2: know it's a transatlantic flight, dude, I flew there. I

990
00:50:49,840 --> 00:50:54,840
Speaker 2: was like that, this is long, I'm flying back. Maybe chocolates, chocolits. Yes,

991
00:50:55,280 --> 00:50:57,759
Speaker 2: So whether they did anything or not, I just wanted

992
00:50:57,800 --> 00:50:59,840
Speaker 2: to let them know we appreciated them, because there's a

993
00:50:59,880 --> 00:51:02,600
Speaker 2: lot of people who are not nice on flights and

994
00:51:02,640 --> 00:51:06,200
Speaker 2: they just have expectations of like whatever. But honestly, that

995
00:51:06,200 --> 00:51:07,880
Speaker 2: flight crew person is there to like make sure that

996
00:51:07,920 --> 00:51:09,800
Speaker 2: you put your oxygen mask come first.

997
00:51:10,280 --> 00:51:12,160
Speaker 4: I should have tried that the Naval Academy. They would

998
00:51:12,160 --> 00:51:15,640
Speaker 4: have gotten better grades. Bro, here's some chocolates that most

999
00:51:15,760 --> 00:51:16,920
Speaker 4: chocolates in my exams.

1000
00:51:17,040 --> 00:51:20,719
Speaker 2: Yeah. Oh, I'll tell you there's a story. Oh man.

1001
00:51:20,800 --> 00:51:23,320
Speaker 2: I used to deliver Krispy Kreme donuts back in the day, Okay,

1002
00:51:23,880 --> 00:51:26,719
Speaker 2: and I'd go through all of my route, all right,

1003
00:51:27,239 --> 00:51:29,399
Speaker 2: really cool job. My wife is pregnant. I was trying

1004
00:51:29,400 --> 00:51:30,799
Speaker 2: to be the dad, you know, take care of things

1005
00:51:30,840 --> 00:51:32,480
Speaker 2: after the military. I was like, I'm gonna drive Krispy

1006
00:51:32,480 --> 00:51:35,560
Speaker 2: Cream donuts. So I'm driving this route all through northern Utah,

1007
00:51:35,600 --> 00:51:39,520
Speaker 2: up into Idaho and back down into Utah, taking donuts,

1008
00:51:39,560 --> 00:51:41,839
Speaker 2: brand new donuts less than twenty four hours old off

1009
00:51:41,840 --> 00:51:43,800
Speaker 2: the shelf, putting on new ones. And every time I

1010
00:51:43,840 --> 00:51:47,560
Speaker 2: would drive by this certain police department in Soda Springs, Idaho,

1011
00:51:47,960 --> 00:51:50,320
Speaker 2: and I would always pull over at three in the morning,

1012
00:51:50,520 --> 00:51:52,239
Speaker 2: knock on the door and say, you guys want six

1013
00:51:52,320 --> 00:51:55,120
Speaker 2: dozen donuts, and they'd come over. They'd open the door,

1014
00:51:55,120 --> 00:51:57,200
Speaker 2: they say, yeah, we're just gonnaut them in water first though,

1015
00:51:57,239 --> 00:51:59,520
Speaker 2: just to make sure right that they're not anything crazy,

1016
00:52:00,520 --> 00:52:03,160
Speaker 2: just giving them the donuts. It's just so funny. It's

1017
00:52:03,160 --> 00:52:06,200
Speaker 2: the small little things, dude. But yeah, that's how I

1018
00:52:06,239 --> 00:52:07,680
Speaker 2: transitioned up to the Air Force. As I went to

1019
00:52:07,719 --> 00:52:11,680
Speaker 2: Krispy Kreme in Idaho. No, in Utah, but I had

1020
00:52:11,680 --> 00:52:14,680
Speaker 2: to drive into Idaho, which was like an hour north. Yeah,

1021
00:52:14,880 --> 00:52:17,480
Speaker 2: because yeah, because I mean, like the yeah, it's it

1022
00:52:17,560 --> 00:52:21,440
Speaker 2: was just a eight hour drive every day, bro blizzards

1023
00:52:21,640 --> 00:52:24,680
Speaker 2: bringing the donuts. I know you wanted to know about this.

1024
00:52:26,320 --> 00:52:26,600
Speaker 5: Story.

1025
00:52:27,080 --> 00:52:30,640
Speaker 2: I'm taking notes, dude, white outs. I'm like, why am

1026
00:52:30,640 --> 00:52:35,080
Speaker 2: I driving twelve dozen donuts through two states for this Chevron?

1027
00:52:35,160 --> 00:52:39,560
Speaker 2: Well that's business. Maybe that's business. Now. The business that

1028
00:52:39,600 --> 00:52:42,600
Speaker 2: you're in today, which you've transitioned to, is becoming an author,

1029
00:52:43,000 --> 00:52:45,440
Speaker 2: and Alex, you have also become an author. I don't

1030
00:52:45,480 --> 00:52:47,320
Speaker 2: know if you guys ever grew up with a poster

1031
00:52:47,400 --> 00:52:48,920
Speaker 2: on your wall of I'm going to be an author

1032
00:52:48,960 --> 00:52:54,720
Speaker 2: one day. Maybe you did. Is that the case?

1033
00:52:55,040 --> 00:52:57,440
Speaker 4: Now? I think my parents probably put posters up my

1034
00:52:57,480 --> 00:53:02,000
Speaker 4: wall like please figure it out soon, please do something

1035
00:53:02,440 --> 00:53:03,080
Speaker 4: I don't.

1036
00:53:03,160 --> 00:53:05,120
Speaker 5: I think we're both surprised by the journey.

1037
00:53:05,200 --> 00:53:08,319
Speaker 2: Yeah, you see, and that's what I love. And the

1038
00:53:08,400 --> 00:53:12,080
Speaker 2: journey is the biggest part of the adventure. And you guys,

1039
00:53:12,120 --> 00:53:15,400
Speaker 2: you know bringing this book together. This Field Manual, you

1040
00:53:15,440 --> 00:53:19,719
Speaker 2: know it's again it's called The Warriors to Civilian the

1041
00:53:19,800 --> 00:53:22,160
Speaker 2: Field Manual. Let me just get the exact name here

1042
00:53:23,120 --> 00:53:26,920
Speaker 2: so I could say it appropriately. So so when Dina listens,

1043
00:53:26,719 --> 00:53:31,560
Speaker 2: it's like, rad it's actually a Warrior to Civilion, the

1044
00:53:31,600 --> 00:53:37,160
Speaker 2: Field Manual for the Hero's Journey. Thank you, You're well,

1045
00:53:37,800 --> 00:53:40,719
Speaker 2: You're welcome. Well, I've had you guys on for just

1046
00:53:40,760 --> 00:53:43,200
Speaker 2: about an hour of the show. You've been a wonderful guest.

1047
00:53:43,200 --> 00:53:45,640
Speaker 2: We've gone back and forth, talked about a lot of things,

1048
00:53:45,680 --> 00:53:49,120
Speaker 2: and a lot of veteran transitioning and spouses, how important

1049
00:53:49,120 --> 00:53:51,400
Speaker 2: they are on the home front, and different jobs that

1050
00:53:51,440 --> 00:53:53,400
Speaker 2: we've gone into after the military, which you're going to

1051
00:53:53,440 --> 00:53:57,080
Speaker 2: be out there, Okay, you'll just transition, just just roll

1052
00:53:57,080 --> 00:53:59,239
Speaker 2: with it and all of a sudden you'll be an author, okay,

1053
00:53:59,280 --> 00:54:01,200
Speaker 2: and then I'll be talking to you on softwap dot

1054
00:54:01,239 --> 00:54:07,400
Speaker 2: com just like these two. Okay, Hey, that website was

1055
00:54:07,400 --> 00:54:11,120
Speaker 2: that heroes hyphen Journey dot net? What was that website?

1056
00:54:11,360 --> 00:54:15,839
Speaker 3: Yes, exactly, And by the way, yeah, yeah, sorry, By

1057
00:54:15,880 --> 00:54:19,440
Speaker 3: the way, we invite anyone who's a veteran, a spouse,

1058
00:54:19,640 --> 00:54:22,440
Speaker 3: a military kid to send us their story and we

1059
00:54:22,480 --> 00:54:25,799
Speaker 3: would love to post it because we have dozens of

1060
00:54:25,840 --> 00:54:31,239
Speaker 3: stories and we want to help people tell theirs.

1061
00:54:32,200 --> 00:54:34,560
Speaker 2: I love that. And also, if you buy the book

1062
00:54:35,239 --> 00:54:38,720
Speaker 2: on some platform online, leave a review for it about

1063
00:54:38,719 --> 00:54:41,520
Speaker 2: what you read on that platform. If it's at a

1064
00:54:41,560 --> 00:54:44,440
Speaker 2: local Mama Pops, just buy it a local Mama Pops, okay,

1065
00:54:44,440 --> 00:54:46,440
Speaker 2: because they're putting it on the books. And also I

1066
00:54:46,480 --> 00:54:51,080
Speaker 2: heard a trick from some really popular authors. You guys

1067
00:54:51,080 --> 00:54:52,319
Speaker 2: wanted me to tell you what that is.

1068
00:54:52,840 --> 00:54:53,240
Speaker 4: Please.

1069
00:54:53,840 --> 00:54:55,960
Speaker 2: They always pack around two to six extra books with

1070
00:54:56,000 --> 00:54:58,480
Speaker 2: them when they travel, because then they wind up at

1071
00:54:58,520 --> 00:55:02,799
Speaker 2: the maybe like the DC airport where there's a life

1072
00:55:03,080 --> 00:55:05,920
Speaker 2: you know, the gift shop, yep, and they just kind

1073
00:55:05,960 --> 00:55:08,520
Speaker 2: of put it on the shelf and then they take

1074
00:55:08,560 --> 00:55:10,520
Speaker 2: it and they and they scan it and it actually

1075
00:55:10,600 --> 00:55:12,920
Speaker 2: can scan and it says out of stock, and then

1076
00:55:12,920 --> 00:55:15,239
Speaker 2: what it means is that somebody bought the last one

1077
00:55:15,280 --> 00:55:18,000
Speaker 2: out of stock and they tried to resupply your book

1078
00:55:18,120 --> 00:55:19,400
Speaker 2: at the airport.

1079
00:55:20,000 --> 00:55:21,840
Speaker 4: Just to let you know that.

1080
00:55:22,400 --> 00:55:22,600
Speaker 5: Thank you.

1081
00:55:22,640 --> 00:55:24,359
Speaker 2: As long as you got a UPC on the back, yes,

1082
00:55:24,400 --> 00:55:26,640
Speaker 2: well you to know hand.

1083
00:55:26,160 --> 00:55:27,279
Speaker 4: Them out with oxygen mask.

1084
00:55:27,320 --> 00:55:30,000
Speaker 2: I like it, Bro. If it came with one on.

1085
00:55:29,920 --> 00:55:33,960
Speaker 4: It, that's awesome marketing right there. That's right.

1086
00:55:34,960 --> 00:55:36,879
Speaker 2: So first, I mean, really glad.

1087
00:55:36,960 --> 00:55:39,080
Speaker 5: You're awesome. Thank you for giving us the time to

1088
00:55:39,120 --> 00:55:39,799
Speaker 5: talk about it on.

1089
00:55:39,760 --> 00:55:42,400
Speaker 2: This Red No. You guys are awesome. Thanks for choosing

1090
00:55:42,400 --> 00:55:44,279
Speaker 2: to be on our show and reaching out. And again

1091
00:55:44,360 --> 00:55:47,520
Speaker 2: thanks to to Dina for having you for sending you

1092
00:55:47,520 --> 00:55:49,600
Speaker 2: our way, and to Brandon Webb who sits in the

1093
00:55:49,600 --> 00:55:51,920
Speaker 2: background and make sure that I'm doing what I'm supposed

1094
00:55:51,920 --> 00:55:54,160
Speaker 2: to be doing. Thanks Bro, I appreciate you, Brandon. And

1095
00:55:54,200 --> 00:55:57,480
Speaker 2: to Calum out of London who's my producer. Thanks so much, Calum.

1096
00:55:57,520 --> 00:55:59,520
Speaker 2: I appreciate all you do and making us look good

1097
00:56:00,080 --> 00:56:03,040
Speaker 2: on the internet. And you my listener and my viewer.

1098
00:56:03,200 --> 00:56:05,480
Speaker 2: I just wouldn't be here without you. You guys, keep

1099
00:56:05,520 --> 00:56:09,000
Speaker 2: listening and watching and commenting. Just keep that up. Check

1100
00:56:09,040 --> 00:56:11,120
Speaker 2: out the merch store at soft reap dot com. Check

1101
00:56:11,160 --> 00:56:13,759
Speaker 2: out the book club. It's book hyphen Club. That's soft

1102
00:56:13,800 --> 00:56:16,719
Speaker 2: reap dot com forward slash book hyphen Club. And I'll

1103
00:56:16,760 --> 00:56:21,120
Speaker 2: be half of my guest Rob Sarver and Alex gen Zier.

1104
00:56:21,920 --> 00:56:23,400
Speaker 2: I am going to say peace.

1105
00:56:24,719 --> 00:56:26,080
Speaker 4: Thanks Rob, appreciate it.

1106
00:56:26,200 --> 00:56:31,040
Speaker 5: Thank you so much.

1107
00:56:42,680 --> 00:56:45,360
Speaker 1: You've been listening to surf rep Uadia