1 00:00:03,240 --> 00:00:05,560 Speaker 1: Today on the right side, we're learning what it really 2 00:00:05,680 --> 00:00:09,760 Speaker 1: means to lead with feminine energy with life coach Gabriella Taylor. 3 00:00:10,160 --> 00:00:14,200 Speaker 2: Let's just get clear. Women do not need any more mantras. 4 00:00:14,560 --> 00:00:19,960 Speaker 2: They do not need any more affirmations, shots fired. We 5 00:00:20,040 --> 00:00:24,360 Speaker 2: need a new relationship with our feminine power. We came 6 00:00:24,400 --> 00:00:27,120 Speaker 2: in at this time because we are being called. We 7 00:00:27,200 --> 00:00:30,120 Speaker 2: each have a role to play to shape the new 8 00:00:30,320 --> 00:00:35,080 Speaker 2: era of feminine power that is balanced with masculine power 9 00:00:35,600 --> 00:00:40,879 Speaker 2: and to create a world that works for all. 10 00:00:41,120 --> 00:00:44,080 Speaker 1: Okay, what I'm about to say may sound controversial, but 11 00:00:44,479 --> 00:00:46,120 Speaker 1: I can't keep this. 12 00:00:46,080 --> 00:00:47,000 Speaker 2: In any longer. 13 00:00:47,880 --> 00:00:51,000 Speaker 1: I am convinced there's never been a more exciting time 14 00:00:51,159 --> 00:00:54,080 Speaker 1: to be a woman. And hear me out, because I 15 00:00:54,160 --> 00:00:57,440 Speaker 1: know the burdens are real and plentiful on us right now. 16 00:00:57,800 --> 00:01:01,920 Speaker 1: Women all over the world and here at home continue 17 00:01:01,960 --> 00:01:06,560 Speaker 1: to face numerous injustices and restrictions on their freedom and progress. 18 00:01:07,360 --> 00:01:10,759 Speaker 1: And then there's also the pressures and imbalances of work 19 00:01:10,920 --> 00:01:14,640 Speaker 1: and family life and pay equity. So trust me, I 20 00:01:14,680 --> 00:01:18,000 Speaker 1: get it. Things are tough, and at the same time, 21 00:01:18,920 --> 00:01:21,600 Speaker 1: we are also harvesting from the seeds of progress that 22 00:01:21,640 --> 00:01:25,000 Speaker 1: were planted by our mothers by their mothers and the 23 00:01:25,040 --> 00:01:29,560 Speaker 1: women before them. I mean, women today have more access 24 00:01:29,600 --> 00:01:33,840 Speaker 1: to and potential for growth than ever before. And I 25 00:01:33,880 --> 00:01:36,720 Speaker 1: think what really makes this time unique is that we 26 00:01:36,800 --> 00:01:40,920 Speaker 1: also have access to help and support. For what feels 27 00:01:41,000 --> 00:01:44,600 Speaker 1: like the first time I see women all around me 28 00:01:44,760 --> 00:01:48,520 Speaker 1: working on themselves with intention, waking up every day and 29 00:01:48,560 --> 00:01:51,680 Speaker 1: deciding to be a better version of themselves. We are 30 00:01:51,720 --> 00:01:55,800 Speaker 1: in therapy, we're joining run clubs, walking groups, we're going 31 00:01:55,800 --> 00:02:00,320 Speaker 1: on retreats, we're meditating. I mean, we are always looking 32 00:02:00,320 --> 00:02:03,520 Speaker 1: for ways to optimize and learn and grow. And I 33 00:02:03,560 --> 00:02:08,440 Speaker 1: just think that's really special to witness this happening collectively 34 00:02:08,880 --> 00:02:12,040 Speaker 1: all around us. So when it comes to celebrating this 35 00:02:12,160 --> 00:02:15,280 Speaker 1: era of womanhood, I can't think of a more perfect 36 00:02:15,320 --> 00:02:19,080 Speaker 1: voice for this conversation than my friend Gabriella Taylor. Because 37 00:02:19,120 --> 00:02:23,600 Speaker 1: Gabriella is someone you want in your village. She is 38 00:02:23,639 --> 00:02:26,080 Speaker 1: a master certified life coach who has spent more than 39 00:02:26,120 --> 00:02:29,720 Speaker 1: twenty five years helping people heal their emotional wounds and 40 00:02:30,520 --> 00:02:33,000 Speaker 1: break free of those limiting beliefs and step into their 41 00:02:33,040 --> 00:02:40,520 Speaker 1: power using a trifecta of tools psychology, neuroscience, and feminine mysticism. 42 00:02:40,800 --> 00:02:43,080 Speaker 1: So for all my woo, girl, he's out there. I 43 00:02:43,080 --> 00:02:45,160 Speaker 1: hope your ears just perked up because you're gonna love 44 00:02:45,200 --> 00:02:49,160 Speaker 1: that part of this conversation. When Gabriella works with extraordinarily 45 00:02:49,280 --> 00:02:52,440 Speaker 1: successful women, women who are literally changing the world through 46 00:02:52,480 --> 00:02:56,960 Speaker 1: their impact, she helps expose the hidden ways that misogyny 47 00:02:57,040 --> 00:03:00,400 Speaker 1: shapes how we think, how we feel, and how we 48 00:03:00,480 --> 00:03:03,680 Speaker 1: relate to each other every single day. So in this 49 00:03:03,760 --> 00:03:07,440 Speaker 1: episode you can expect some real takeaways from how to 50 00:03:07,480 --> 00:03:11,800 Speaker 1: break negative patterns to how to give yourself grace consistently, 51 00:03:12,440 --> 00:03:14,799 Speaker 1: and Gabrielle has also got a really hot take on 52 00:03:15,080 --> 00:03:16,919 Speaker 1: gossip that you're not going to want to miss. 53 00:03:17,720 --> 00:03:17,919 Speaker 2: Well. 54 00:03:17,919 --> 00:03:21,480 Speaker 1: I hope this conversation leaves you feeling elevated and inspired 55 00:03:22,000 --> 00:03:24,840 Speaker 1: to lead with your feminine energy as you move through 56 00:03:24,960 --> 00:03:28,280 Speaker 1: life's challenges. I mean, the goal is just no matter 57 00:03:28,320 --> 00:03:31,079 Speaker 1: how hard it gets, never letting go of that softness, 58 00:03:31,200 --> 00:03:34,560 Speaker 1: humor and joy. Okay, So here it is my conversation 59 00:03:34,720 --> 00:03:40,160 Speaker 1: with Gabriella Taylor. Gabriella Taylor, welcome to the bright Side. 60 00:03:41,120 --> 00:03:46,480 Speaker 1: You coach really high profile successful women. Gabriella actually won't 61 00:03:46,480 --> 00:03:49,800 Speaker 1: tell me who these clients are because she's not allowed to. 62 00:03:49,960 --> 00:03:54,000 Speaker 1: That's how famous and successful they are, But what are 63 00:03:54,040 --> 00:03:59,280 Speaker 1: the kinds of breakthroughs that you lead these clients into? 64 00:04:00,200 --> 00:04:02,680 Speaker 2: In this industry for almost thirty years And I also 65 00:04:02,720 --> 00:04:05,120 Speaker 2: actually work with men too, But yes, most of my 66 00:04:05,200 --> 00:04:09,160 Speaker 2: clients tend to have a lot of worldly power. I 67 00:04:09,200 --> 00:04:12,440 Speaker 2: have two Grammy Award winning top artists right now, whether 68 00:04:12,560 --> 00:04:16,320 Speaker 2: they are a global leader in whatever their industry is, 69 00:04:16,600 --> 00:04:20,599 Speaker 2: or their key philanthropists that have phenomenal wealth, they have 70 00:04:20,640 --> 00:04:24,800 Speaker 2: a lot of power. And also everyday change makers that 71 00:04:24,880 --> 00:04:27,320 Speaker 2: might be like a single mom running a nonprofit, but like, 72 00:04:27,680 --> 00:04:30,240 Speaker 2: whooh does she have power because she is like committed 73 00:04:30,400 --> 00:04:33,880 Speaker 2: exactly doing this thing. But the breakthroughs that I find 74 00:04:34,120 --> 00:04:40,080 Speaker 2: is that no matter how accomplished, experienced, brilliant, insightful, successful 75 00:04:40,120 --> 00:04:44,680 Speaker 2: they are, we all are bound by the same template, 76 00:04:44,720 --> 00:04:47,920 Speaker 2: if you will. In psychology, it's called an inner working model. 77 00:04:48,320 --> 00:04:50,839 Speaker 2: We all have this inner working model that defines our 78 00:04:50,920 --> 00:04:55,160 Speaker 2: relationship with anything important, our lives, with money, with love, 79 00:04:55,560 --> 00:04:59,040 Speaker 2: with food, with our bodies and so the feminine psyche, 80 00:04:59,240 --> 00:05:03,120 Speaker 2: the template for the inner working model, is designed to 81 00:05:03,160 --> 00:05:06,600 Speaker 2: hold us back and hold us down. Why how so, oh, 82 00:05:06,640 --> 00:05:09,040 Speaker 2: this is where it gets good. Let's go. So, let's 83 00:05:09,120 --> 00:05:14,600 Speaker 2: unpack the patriarchy. It's a hierarchical power structure that exists 84 00:05:14,640 --> 00:05:18,479 Speaker 2: on a power over power under model, and fear and 85 00:05:18,560 --> 00:05:22,279 Speaker 2: scarcity are its power tools to keep people in line. 86 00:05:23,160 --> 00:05:27,600 Speaker 2: And it can only exist it can only thrive when 87 00:05:27,680 --> 00:05:32,800 Speaker 2: feminine energy is suppressed in men and women. Okay, I 88 00:05:32,839 --> 00:05:33,919 Speaker 2: have to take that in for a second. 89 00:05:33,960 --> 00:05:37,880 Speaker 1: Yeah, patriarchy can only thrive when feminine energy. 90 00:05:37,680 --> 00:05:40,239 Speaker 2: Is suppressed in men, in women, in men and women. 91 00:05:40,560 --> 00:05:43,040 Speaker 2: That's the interesting part of that, right, It is not 92 00:05:43,520 --> 00:05:47,200 Speaker 2: gender specific. It is a power paradigm that lives in 93 00:05:47,240 --> 00:05:50,320 Speaker 2: every single one of us, particularly in the Western world. 94 00:05:50,440 --> 00:05:53,640 Speaker 2: Is more where my orientation and focus has been right. 95 00:05:53,680 --> 00:05:56,680 Speaker 1: And it's important to acknowledge that the only reason we're 96 00:05:56,720 --> 00:05:59,160 Speaker 1: able to have this conversation is because we are privileged 97 00:05:59,440 --> 00:06:03,120 Speaker 1: Western women. There are yes, many millions of women in 98 00:06:03,160 --> 00:06:05,360 Speaker 1: the world who aren't even able to have this conversation. 99 00:06:05,520 --> 00:06:08,000 Speaker 2: And this is why we're having this conversation. Not only 100 00:06:08,000 --> 00:06:11,359 Speaker 2: for ourselves, I believe, but we have a responsibility to 101 00:06:11,600 --> 00:06:14,680 Speaker 2: use our resources to support those that don't have the 102 00:06:14,720 --> 00:06:17,600 Speaker 2: capacity to have a voice, have a say, and make 103 00:06:17,640 --> 00:06:20,520 Speaker 2: real change. Can we sit with feminine energy? 104 00:06:20,760 --> 00:06:23,479 Speaker 1: Yeah for a minute, Because you're saying that's an essential 105 00:06:23,480 --> 00:06:27,240 Speaker 1: component that both men and women need. And I've been 106 00:06:27,279 --> 00:06:30,440 Speaker 1: hearing I'm in my feminine a lot lately. It feels 107 00:06:30,440 --> 00:06:33,479 Speaker 1: like this is in the zeitgeist. I see it on 108 00:06:33,520 --> 00:06:36,239 Speaker 1: social media a lot, and I celebrate it. I'm like, yes, girl, 109 00:06:36,320 --> 00:06:38,120 Speaker 1: be in your feminine, be in your soft life. I 110 00:06:38,160 --> 00:06:40,720 Speaker 1: love that for you, because for me, as someone who 111 00:06:40,720 --> 00:06:43,159 Speaker 1: has raised in the girl Boss era, the idea of 112 00:06:43,480 --> 00:06:45,800 Speaker 1: being in your feminine was like, I don't even know 113 00:06:45,800 --> 00:06:47,760 Speaker 1: what that means, which is why I want to ask 114 00:06:47,839 --> 00:06:52,760 Speaker 1: you to define it. So what does healthy feminine energy 115 00:06:52,960 --> 00:06:53,400 Speaker 1: look like? 116 00:06:53,680 --> 00:06:53,880 Speaker 3: Right? 117 00:06:54,360 --> 00:07:00,920 Speaker 2: Feminine energy is feeling sensation. It considers relation not only 118 00:07:00,920 --> 00:07:04,440 Speaker 2: our relationship to ourselves, but each other, this planet, to 119 00:07:04,520 --> 00:07:08,520 Speaker 2: something greater than ourselves. So when I'm in meaningful conversation 120 00:07:08,760 --> 00:07:11,640 Speaker 2: with people like you, I go more into my feminine 121 00:07:11,760 --> 00:07:14,680 Speaker 2: energy to listen to what wants to emerge here. I'm 122 00:07:14,720 --> 00:07:17,680 Speaker 2: listening to my intuition and I'm also pulling from my 123 00:07:17,840 --> 00:07:20,760 Speaker 2: subcortical brain for whatever information might be helpful. 124 00:07:21,480 --> 00:07:24,520 Speaker 1: Gabriella, you have this way of like guiding women back 125 00:07:24,560 --> 00:07:28,600 Speaker 1: to themselves and back to our feminine power, both through 126 00:07:29,120 --> 00:07:32,480 Speaker 1: neuroscience and mysticism. I mean talk about a rare combination. 127 00:07:32,720 --> 00:07:34,720 Speaker 1: That's not something we see every day. So for someone 128 00:07:34,720 --> 00:07:38,080 Speaker 1: who's hearing that for the first time, what does that 129 00:07:38,200 --> 00:07:42,480 Speaker 1: really mean in your own words, that marriage of neuroscience 130 00:07:42,560 --> 00:07:43,600 Speaker 1: and mysticism. 131 00:07:44,120 --> 00:07:47,720 Speaker 2: Just to share, I grew up with an alcoholic dad 132 00:07:47,920 --> 00:07:52,040 Speaker 2: who was very scary, and he was very unwell. I 133 00:07:52,120 --> 00:07:54,720 Speaker 2: dabbled with eating disorders, you know, found myself in an 134 00:07:54,760 --> 00:07:57,560 Speaker 2: eating disorder rehab with tubes up my nose, you know, 135 00:07:57,600 --> 00:08:01,200 Speaker 2: to feed me. I had attempted suicide because things were 136 00:08:01,240 --> 00:08:05,000 Speaker 2: really hard as a young woman, and I was raped 137 00:08:05,120 --> 00:08:07,920 Speaker 2: a number of times as a young woman. And I 138 00:08:08,000 --> 00:08:10,920 Speaker 2: have such a strong seeking system inside of me that 139 00:08:11,040 --> 00:08:14,400 Speaker 2: is so yearning to seek towards the light, to seek 140 00:08:14,440 --> 00:08:18,760 Speaker 2: towards healing, and so I dove into every approach I 141 00:08:18,760 --> 00:08:22,480 Speaker 2: could find to help myself heal. I shaved my head, 142 00:08:22,560 --> 00:08:26,720 Speaker 2: I joined monasteries, I took vows, I became ordained as 143 00:08:26,720 --> 00:08:30,280 Speaker 2: a minister. I did every pooja you could imagine. I mean, 144 00:08:30,320 --> 00:08:34,720 Speaker 2: I've walked on fire, I've like sat in peyote, ceremony, ayahuasca, 145 00:08:34,760 --> 00:08:38,600 Speaker 2: like all the things to try and spiritually pray away 146 00:08:39,800 --> 00:08:44,000 Speaker 2: my pain. Didn't really work on a fundamental level. So 147 00:08:44,160 --> 00:08:47,440 Speaker 2: then I got into psychology, get a couple of master's degrees. 148 00:08:47,679 --> 00:08:51,920 Speaker 2: If I can just psychoanalyze my issues, then I will 149 00:08:51,920 --> 00:08:54,840 Speaker 2: feel better about myself. Then I'll feel settled. Didn't work. 150 00:08:54,840 --> 00:08:57,679 Speaker 2: I could write a dissertation on my unresolved issues and 151 00:08:57,720 --> 00:09:00,559 Speaker 2: all of the ways that I self sabotage didn't anything. 152 00:09:00,920 --> 00:09:03,520 Speaker 2: And it wasn't until one of my younger brothers got 153 00:09:03,640 --> 00:09:06,520 Speaker 2: in a tragic car accident in which he had a 154 00:09:06,520 --> 00:09:09,640 Speaker 2: traumatic brain injury that I even started thinking about the brain. 155 00:09:09,880 --> 00:09:12,679 Speaker 2: He had a three percent chance of survival. And it 156 00:09:12,800 --> 00:09:16,440 Speaker 2: wasn't until then that I even started thinking, Oh, my gosh, 157 00:09:16,480 --> 00:09:20,160 Speaker 2: his brain. What about my brain? How was my brain 158 00:09:20,320 --> 00:09:23,440 Speaker 2: shaped around the hard things that I went through and 159 00:09:23,559 --> 00:09:26,920 Speaker 2: through the power of neuroplasticity, how can I help it 160 00:09:27,400 --> 00:09:30,440 Speaker 2: unlearn what it learned and relearn? And so that was 161 00:09:30,480 --> 00:09:33,320 Speaker 2: thirteen years ago, and that is how I got into 162 00:09:33,320 --> 00:09:37,880 Speaker 2: the path of what's called relational neuroscience and really understanding 163 00:09:37,880 --> 00:09:41,800 Speaker 2: how our brains and nervous systems are the guardians at 164 00:09:41,840 --> 00:09:44,679 Speaker 2: the gate that let us in, and when we're able 165 00:09:44,679 --> 00:09:47,160 Speaker 2: to get in to where it's stored inside, there is 166 00:09:47,240 --> 00:09:50,880 Speaker 2: so much freedom that we can bring in through rewiring 167 00:09:50,960 --> 00:09:54,680 Speaker 2: these neural networks that hold these very limiting beliefs and 168 00:09:54,720 --> 00:09:59,360 Speaker 2: deeply held feelings that have been hard to shake through prayer, meditation. 169 00:09:59,520 --> 00:10:03,360 Speaker 2: I mean, women, let's just get clear. Women do not 170 00:10:03,559 --> 00:10:09,079 Speaker 2: need any more mantras, They do not need any more affirmations, 171 00:10:09,400 --> 00:10:14,000 Speaker 2: shots fired. But we need a new relationship with our 172 00:10:14,080 --> 00:10:17,320 Speaker 2: feminine power. And so this is why I've created one 173 00:10:17,320 --> 00:10:20,239 Speaker 2: of the only approaches that I know of that combines 174 00:10:20,360 --> 00:10:25,440 Speaker 2: trauma science with depth psychology and feminine spirituality. And it's 175 00:10:25,440 --> 00:10:28,959 Speaker 2: what actually works because we are rewiring things at the core. 176 00:10:29,559 --> 00:10:33,480 Speaker 2: We might struggle with body image or not speaking up 177 00:10:33,520 --> 00:10:37,680 Speaker 2: about money, these things actually live in neural networks, in 178 00:10:37,800 --> 00:10:42,440 Speaker 2: storage units in our downstairs brain. So when someone says, oh, 179 00:10:42,440 --> 00:10:46,400 Speaker 2: that's just a limiting belief, let it go, it's virtually 180 00:10:46,480 --> 00:10:50,880 Speaker 2: impossible because it's neurobiologically locked in in a stacking pattern 181 00:10:50,920 --> 00:10:51,520 Speaker 2: of neurons. 182 00:10:51,679 --> 00:10:53,800 Speaker 1: Is it linked to trauma? Is it linked to something 183 00:10:53,800 --> 00:10:54,600 Speaker 1: that happens. 184 00:10:54,360 --> 00:10:58,880 Speaker 2: Anything that was emotionally impactful that we didn't get the 185 00:10:58,920 --> 00:11:03,040 Speaker 2: support that we needed. It then goes underground and it 186 00:11:03,120 --> 00:11:06,720 Speaker 2: embeds as what we call trauma, and then it wakes 187 00:11:06,800 --> 00:11:12,920 Speaker 2: up through PTSD anxiety, negative self talk, all sorts of 188 00:11:12,920 --> 00:11:17,240 Speaker 2: ways it wakes up. So a trauma response is simply 189 00:11:17,320 --> 00:11:21,760 Speaker 2: our brain just firing off signals of hey, something hard happened. 190 00:11:22,040 --> 00:11:24,840 Speaker 2: So no matter if the trauma happened last week or 191 00:11:24,880 --> 00:11:28,280 Speaker 2: seventy five years ago, our brain is amazing. We can 192 00:11:28,400 --> 00:11:32,280 Speaker 2: go into that neural network that holds the memory of 193 00:11:32,320 --> 00:11:36,199 Speaker 2: that hard thing, and this phenomenon happens to the brain 194 00:11:36,640 --> 00:11:39,880 Speaker 2: in which that neural network will open up and we 195 00:11:39,920 --> 00:11:43,800 Speaker 2: have a five hour window to rewire it. And that 196 00:11:43,960 --> 00:11:47,040 Speaker 2: is literally how we help the brain unlearn and relearn 197 00:11:47,240 --> 00:11:49,600 Speaker 2: new things. Five hour window what is up? It's a 198 00:11:49,600 --> 00:11:52,800 Speaker 2: five hour window in which the extra synaptic gab up 199 00:11:52,840 --> 00:11:56,559 Speaker 2: parts and we have access to this neural network that 200 00:11:57,080 --> 00:12:00,640 Speaker 2: previously was buried in the subcortical brain, the subcond But 201 00:12:00,760 --> 00:12:03,959 Speaker 2: when we get triggered i e. A trauma response comes up, 202 00:12:04,360 --> 00:12:07,320 Speaker 2: the extra synaptic gabba the goo that it was buried 203 00:12:07,320 --> 00:12:10,240 Speaker 2: in it parts and then we have a five hour 204 00:12:10,320 --> 00:12:13,439 Speaker 2: window to input it with new information before it goes 205 00:12:13,960 --> 00:12:17,640 Speaker 2: back to sleep under the goo in our subcortical brain, 206 00:12:18,040 --> 00:12:21,880 Speaker 2: buried in these neurotransmitters. And so this is what's beautiful 207 00:12:22,240 --> 00:12:26,199 Speaker 2: and extraordinary and revolutionary. So instead of trying to talk 208 00:12:26,240 --> 00:12:29,440 Speaker 2: our pain away or shame ourselves for having pain, we 209 00:12:29,600 --> 00:12:33,360 Speaker 2: actually go to the source. And this is memory reconsolidation, 210 00:12:33,640 --> 00:12:35,880 Speaker 2: is what I'm talking about, is the phenomenon which is 211 00:12:35,920 --> 00:12:38,600 Speaker 2: part of what I do. And so this is a 212 00:12:38,640 --> 00:12:41,720 Speaker 2: way where we literally can reshape our brain at the core. 213 00:12:42,240 --> 00:12:44,920 Speaker 2: So that way, either the symptoms that we're troubling for 214 00:12:45,040 --> 00:12:49,000 Speaker 2: us are either completely eradicated because the whole neural network 215 00:12:49,000 --> 00:12:51,840 Speaker 2: has been rewired so it doesn't have the same encoding, 216 00:12:52,400 --> 00:12:57,080 Speaker 2: or the symptoms reduced significantly. Wow. Yeah, wow, it's right. 217 00:12:57,120 --> 00:12:59,560 Speaker 2: It's so cool. I yeah, it's so cool. 218 00:12:59,640 --> 00:13:01,720 Speaker 1: And I I've always been fascinated with the brain. And 219 00:13:01,720 --> 00:13:04,240 Speaker 1: I feel like I just learned so much just from 220 00:13:04,280 --> 00:13:04,760 Speaker 1: hearing that. 221 00:13:04,720 --> 00:13:08,600 Speaker 2: Our brains are incredible. They really are. They're incredible. So 222 00:13:09,040 --> 00:13:09,600 Speaker 2: asking for. 223 00:13:09,559 --> 00:13:12,000 Speaker 1: A friend who, let's say, has a hard time getting 224 00:13:12,040 --> 00:13:16,040 Speaker 1: in touch with her just a friend, just a friend. 225 00:13:16,160 --> 00:13:22,600 Speaker 1: Let's call her, Let's call her Sheila. Let's call her Sheilah. Okay, 226 00:13:23,080 --> 00:13:25,840 Speaker 1: and Sheila. You know, she's a working woman and she's 227 00:13:25,880 --> 00:13:29,880 Speaker 1: had a hard time getting in touch with her feminine 228 00:13:30,200 --> 00:13:33,760 Speaker 1: What is that first step and turning the curiosity inward. 229 00:13:33,840 --> 00:13:36,080 Speaker 1: What are the questions that we should be asking herself. 230 00:13:35,880 --> 00:13:39,080 Speaker 2: To look at? Why it makes sense? It's hard. I 231 00:13:39,120 --> 00:13:44,520 Speaker 2: don't see anybody talking about this. The feminine empowerment industry 232 00:13:45,240 --> 00:13:48,720 Speaker 2: makes us wrong for feeling hurt about the hard things 233 00:13:48,720 --> 00:13:51,320 Speaker 2: that happen to us and tells us that we just 234 00:13:51,360 --> 00:13:53,840 Speaker 2: need to let it go or get over it or 235 00:13:53,880 --> 00:13:58,600 Speaker 2: drop the story. And we are not neurobiologically wired to 236 00:13:58,640 --> 00:14:01,320 Speaker 2: be able to do that. That's like having the upstairs 237 00:14:01,360 --> 00:14:03,400 Speaker 2: part of the brain try and control the downstairs part 238 00:14:03,440 --> 00:14:05,719 Speaker 2: of the brain. The upstairs part of the brain is willpower. 239 00:14:05,960 --> 00:14:08,080 Speaker 2: The downstairs part of the brain is where all of 240 00:14:08,120 --> 00:14:13,320 Speaker 2: these emotions and protective responses and behaviors come from. And 241 00:14:13,360 --> 00:14:15,920 Speaker 2: it's like trying to have the mind tell the heart 242 00:14:15,960 --> 00:14:19,760 Speaker 2: to stop beating. It doesn't work. So for Sheila, for one, 243 00:14:19,960 --> 00:14:22,040 Speaker 2: we want to normalize that we live in a world 244 00:14:22,120 --> 00:14:25,520 Speaker 2: that almost no one says, Oh, tell me more about 245 00:14:25,560 --> 00:14:28,720 Speaker 2: how you feel unsafe and so you've learned to harden 246 00:14:28,800 --> 00:14:32,640 Speaker 2: up or not speak up for yourself, or push over 247 00:14:32,760 --> 00:14:35,200 Speaker 2: other women to climb to the top. Tell me more 248 00:14:35,400 --> 00:14:39,280 Speaker 2: around how you learn to protect yourself through shutting down 249 00:14:39,920 --> 00:14:44,160 Speaker 2: or fighting back or running away or just being distracted 250 00:14:44,200 --> 00:14:47,160 Speaker 2: and fixated on the size of your ass. Tell me 251 00:14:47,240 --> 00:14:51,160 Speaker 2: more about what doesn't feel safe going towards your feminine energy. 252 00:14:51,240 --> 00:14:54,920 Speaker 2: So the inquiry is we meet the thing that's actually here, 253 00:14:55,520 --> 00:14:57,600 Speaker 2: which might be it's hard or I don't know why, 254 00:14:57,720 --> 00:15:00,920 Speaker 2: or that feels scary because so many women, I mean, 255 00:15:00,920 --> 00:15:03,400 Speaker 2: we have been hurt like men too. Like don't get 256 00:15:03,440 --> 00:15:08,560 Speaker 2: me wrong, yes of us women that have had physical 257 00:15:08,680 --> 00:15:13,000 Speaker 2: violence or sexual abuse, or emotional neglect or just basic 258 00:15:13,200 --> 00:15:16,440 Speaker 2: shaming of like you know, you're too tall, you're too short, 259 00:15:16,760 --> 00:15:19,320 Speaker 2: you're too pretty, you're too ugly, you're too smart, you're 260 00:15:19,320 --> 00:15:22,680 Speaker 2: too dumb, Like we just can't win, and will we 261 00:15:22,800 --> 00:15:23,880 Speaker 2: participate in that too? 262 00:15:24,120 --> 00:15:27,320 Speaker 1: And we participate in it, which brings me to a 263 00:15:27,400 --> 00:15:29,680 Speaker 1: quote of yours that I keep coming back to about 264 00:15:29,800 --> 00:15:32,600 Speaker 1: the ways that patriarchy lives inside of us without us 265 00:15:32,600 --> 00:15:33,400 Speaker 1: even realizing. 266 00:15:33,840 --> 00:15:36,640 Speaker 2: This is so confronting and this is going to be controversial. 267 00:15:36,760 --> 00:15:39,440 Speaker 2: Me and you, I know, every single one, and I 268 00:15:39,480 --> 00:15:41,200 Speaker 2: love you, I love us. We got to look at 269 00:15:41,200 --> 00:15:42,720 Speaker 2: the stuff that's hard to look at. We got to 270 00:15:42,720 --> 00:15:43,000 Speaker 2: look at it. 271 00:15:43,160 --> 00:15:45,040 Speaker 1: Yeah, we gotta sit with it. Here's this quote that 272 00:15:45,080 --> 00:15:47,160 Speaker 1: I keep coming back to of your scrap burrella. You said, 273 00:15:47,200 --> 00:15:50,160 Speaker 1: every time we judge our bodies, judge our appearance, gossip 274 00:15:50,200 --> 00:15:53,840 Speaker 1: about other women, or don't assert ourselves in conversations about 275 00:15:53,880 --> 00:15:57,720 Speaker 1: wealth and money, we are facilitating the patriarchy. 276 00:15:58,120 --> 00:15:59,680 Speaker 2: So let's break that down one by one. 277 00:16:00,080 --> 00:16:02,320 Speaker 1: So when we judge our own bodies, when we stand 278 00:16:02,320 --> 00:16:04,000 Speaker 1: in front of the mirror and say, oh, I'm not 279 00:16:04,000 --> 00:16:06,520 Speaker 1: going to put on that swimsuit because I don't feel confident. 280 00:16:06,640 --> 00:16:09,400 Speaker 1: I'm not going to go swimming, that's actually internalized misogyny 281 00:16:09,400 --> 00:16:10,359 Speaker 1: and the patriarchy. 282 00:16:10,480 --> 00:16:14,880 Speaker 2: Yes, because we are reinforcing this belief system that says 283 00:16:14,880 --> 00:16:17,400 Speaker 2: that there's something wrong with us, and if we only 284 00:16:17,400 --> 00:16:19,800 Speaker 2: looked a certain way, we would be okay. Because women, 285 00:16:20,360 --> 00:16:22,920 Speaker 2: we have been trained to believe that our power comes 286 00:16:23,000 --> 00:16:26,560 Speaker 2: through our beauty and our body, our ability to please 287 00:16:26,680 --> 00:16:30,320 Speaker 2: others or to be how others need us to be. 288 00:16:31,160 --> 00:16:34,160 Speaker 2: And so we've learned all these ways to adapt. God bless. 289 00:16:34,200 --> 00:16:37,480 Speaker 2: But look at the plastic surgery industry and the beauty industry, 290 00:16:37,560 --> 00:16:40,280 Speaker 2: and I mean again like free will do as you will. 291 00:16:40,320 --> 00:16:44,440 Speaker 2: There's nonce here, but looking at the underlying motivations, like 292 00:16:44,520 --> 00:16:46,760 Speaker 2: what is the thing inside of you that tells you 293 00:16:47,200 --> 00:16:50,520 Speaker 2: that one hundred and fifty thousand dollars facelift and all 294 00:16:50,600 --> 00:16:54,520 Speaker 2: the bruising. Everything is a good use of your bodily 295 00:16:54,600 --> 00:16:58,680 Speaker 2: resources and financial resources because what are you trying to 296 00:16:58,720 --> 00:16:59,680 Speaker 2: fulfill from that? 297 00:17:00,320 --> 00:17:05,200 Speaker 1: This is something that is becoming harder and harder to witness, 298 00:17:05,480 --> 00:17:08,040 Speaker 1: I think in the world as a woman, because it 299 00:17:08,080 --> 00:17:10,240 Speaker 1: is so nuanced and complicated. Because on the one hand, 300 00:17:10,280 --> 00:17:12,880 Speaker 1: I'm like always for female agency, I'm like, yes, girl, 301 00:17:12,920 --> 00:17:14,359 Speaker 1: if you think that nos job is going to make 302 00:17:14,400 --> 00:17:16,840 Speaker 1: you feel more confident, do it. 303 00:17:17,119 --> 00:17:20,160 Speaker 2: I want you to experience where is it coming from inside? Right? 304 00:17:20,200 --> 00:17:22,240 Speaker 2: And futivation? And who is it for. 305 00:17:23,480 --> 00:17:25,080 Speaker 1: We've got to take a quick break, but we'll be 306 00:17:25,160 --> 00:17:33,399 Speaker 1: right back with Gabriella Taylor. Well, gossip is another way 307 00:17:33,560 --> 00:17:36,600 Speaker 1: that we turn on each other. And this is this 308 00:17:36,720 --> 00:17:40,600 Speaker 1: might be your most controversial idea. 309 00:17:40,680 --> 00:17:42,320 Speaker 2: I got a lot of it. I know you do. 310 00:17:42,880 --> 00:17:45,159 Speaker 2: I know you do. But what is it with that 311 00:17:45,240 --> 00:17:46,000 Speaker 2: idea of gossip? 312 00:17:46,040 --> 00:17:49,600 Speaker 1: Right? Because I'm not gonna lie. Gossip can feel fun 313 00:17:49,600 --> 00:17:52,960 Speaker 1: in the moment, you know, it's dopamine, it does, and 314 00:17:53,000 --> 00:17:56,439 Speaker 1: it can feel like connection. You know, whenever you're really 315 00:17:56,480 --> 00:17:58,880 Speaker 1: relating to someone, you both have the tea. You both 316 00:17:58,920 --> 00:18:03,400 Speaker 1: know the situation, it can feel really energizing. Yes, why do. 317 00:18:03,359 --> 00:18:04,680 Speaker 2: You believe it is so harmful? 318 00:18:04,920 --> 00:18:05,120 Speaker 1: Oh? 319 00:18:05,200 --> 00:18:07,439 Speaker 2: My, I mean it is so harmful. I mean I 320 00:18:07,560 --> 00:18:10,479 Speaker 2: just automatically think of all of the times that's happened 321 00:18:10,520 --> 00:18:12,480 Speaker 2: to me and just how it broke my heart or 322 00:18:12,520 --> 00:18:15,639 Speaker 2: I just like when I would hear that women that 323 00:18:15,720 --> 00:18:17,680 Speaker 2: I thought were friends, whether I was in fifth grade, 324 00:18:17,720 --> 00:18:20,000 Speaker 2: I'm remembering it to something that happened a few months ago, 325 00:18:20,359 --> 00:18:24,160 Speaker 2: remembering it like. It's so harmful because it erodes this innocent, 326 00:18:24,320 --> 00:18:29,840 Speaker 2: basic sense of trust and belonging. Because what it does 327 00:18:30,080 --> 00:18:33,520 Speaker 2: is it positions us as women suddenly from thinking that 328 00:18:33,560 --> 00:18:36,240 Speaker 2: we're part of the tribe to being on the outside. 329 00:18:36,680 --> 00:18:40,119 Speaker 2: Oh no, they are talking about me. I am on 330 00:18:40,160 --> 00:18:44,720 Speaker 2: the outside. And that is so irrosive because connection is 331 00:18:44,760 --> 00:18:48,400 Speaker 2: a biological imperative. We humans do not do well if 332 00:18:48,400 --> 00:18:51,240 Speaker 2: we don't feel like we belong and are connected. And 333 00:18:51,280 --> 00:18:54,000 Speaker 2: because so few of us actually feel like we belong 334 00:18:54,440 --> 00:18:57,240 Speaker 2: based on who we are versus who we've had to 335 00:18:57,280 --> 00:19:00,439 Speaker 2: become to try and like fit the game to belong, 336 00:19:00,800 --> 00:19:03,919 Speaker 2: So gossip is so irrosive because not only does it 337 00:19:04,000 --> 00:19:08,480 Speaker 2: reinforce a sense of you're alone, you're not one of us. 338 00:19:08,960 --> 00:19:11,919 Speaker 2: But it also reinforces this way that women have been 339 00:19:11,960 --> 00:19:15,960 Speaker 2: taught to compete and trample on each other to get 340 00:19:16,000 --> 00:19:18,720 Speaker 2: the thing. Let's face it, like, if we back it up, yeah, 341 00:19:18,800 --> 00:19:21,879 Speaker 2: it feels good because it gives a false sense of belonging, 342 00:19:22,359 --> 00:19:24,280 Speaker 2: and it does give us a dopamine hit, like we 343 00:19:24,440 --> 00:19:27,360 Speaker 2: think that there's a little oxytocin that also comes out. 344 00:19:27,359 --> 00:19:29,600 Speaker 2: We think that we're bonding with the person, even though 345 00:19:29,600 --> 00:19:32,960 Speaker 2: it's false bonding. And it also is because we've been 346 00:19:33,000 --> 00:19:36,640 Speaker 2: taught to compete for scraps. There's not enough to go around, 347 00:19:37,000 --> 00:19:40,080 Speaker 2: So gossip is so insidious because it's reinforcing that there's 348 00:19:40,119 --> 00:19:44,040 Speaker 2: not enough for all. Remember, the patriarchy requires fear and 349 00:19:44,080 --> 00:19:47,760 Speaker 2: scarcity to be enacted, and if there's not enough, then 350 00:19:47,760 --> 00:19:49,600 Speaker 2: I'm going to fight you for what should be mine. 351 00:19:50,080 --> 00:19:52,480 Speaker 2: So it's a way where we keep taking it out 352 00:19:52,480 --> 00:19:55,639 Speaker 2: on each other instead of addressing the actual system that 353 00:19:55,680 --> 00:19:56,760 Speaker 2: has fed us a lie. 354 00:19:57,200 --> 00:20:00,399 Speaker 1: So I've only ever known patriarchy. We've only ever known 355 00:20:00,480 --> 00:20:05,199 Speaker 1: yeh over like five six thousand years. Absolutely, And something 356 00:20:05,240 --> 00:20:07,600 Speaker 1: that I have learned more about through spending time with 357 00:20:07,640 --> 00:20:12,960 Speaker 1: you is that matriarchal societies actually did exist yes, at 358 00:20:12,960 --> 00:20:13,520 Speaker 1: one point. 359 00:20:13,600 --> 00:20:16,440 Speaker 2: And this is my understanding too from research that I've done, 360 00:20:16,640 --> 00:20:19,760 Speaker 2: is that there was somewhere from a thirty five to 361 00:20:19,800 --> 00:20:25,920 Speaker 2: fifty thousand year period where we lived as a matriarchal culture, prepatriarchy, 362 00:20:26,240 --> 00:20:29,480 Speaker 2: where there was overall a sense of enough for all, 363 00:20:29,520 --> 00:20:32,240 Speaker 2: and we looked out for each other, but the common 364 00:20:32,440 --> 00:20:35,359 Speaker 2: shared need to work in harmony with each other, and 365 00:20:35,440 --> 00:20:37,439 Speaker 2: also to work in harmony with the fields and the 366 00:20:37,440 --> 00:20:39,760 Speaker 2: crops and the plants and the planet and the animals. 367 00:20:40,240 --> 00:20:44,639 Speaker 2: And there was a sense of where we prayed to Father, Mother, God, 368 00:20:44,920 --> 00:20:47,359 Speaker 2: we prayed to the universe. We worked a lot with 369 00:20:47,440 --> 00:20:50,679 Speaker 2: celestial you know, sort of rituals and rhythms, so there 370 00:20:50,720 --> 00:20:52,720 Speaker 2: was a sense of being connected to something greater. 371 00:20:53,440 --> 00:20:56,600 Speaker 1: Well, I have been thinking about this idea a lot, 372 00:20:56,640 --> 00:20:58,720 Speaker 1: and I've talked about it on this show, like the 373 00:20:58,840 --> 00:21:03,000 Speaker 1: idea that I am doing things now in my own 374 00:21:03,040 --> 00:21:05,760 Speaker 1: life that my mom didn't have the capacity to do, 375 00:21:06,520 --> 00:21:09,119 Speaker 1: and she did things that her mom didn't have the 376 00:21:09,160 --> 00:21:13,919 Speaker 1: capacity to do. And it really does feel even with 377 00:21:13,960 --> 00:21:16,679 Speaker 1: everything that's happening in the world right now and restrictions 378 00:21:16,720 --> 00:21:20,760 Speaker 1: on women's rights, I choose to believe that there has 379 00:21:20,840 --> 00:21:23,560 Speaker 1: never been a better time to be a woman. Yes, 380 00:21:23,800 --> 00:21:28,240 Speaker 1: because I really do feel like we are leading this enlightenment. 381 00:21:28,359 --> 00:21:31,479 Speaker 2: Oh my god, right, yes, yes, Like even my thighs 382 00:21:31,520 --> 00:21:34,359 Speaker 2: have like chills when you say that. Yes, I believe 383 00:21:34,359 --> 00:21:38,040 Speaker 2: that you are alive. I am alive. Perhaps your listeners, 384 00:21:38,600 --> 00:21:41,280 Speaker 2: we came in at this time because we are being 385 00:21:41,320 --> 00:21:44,280 Speaker 2: called we each have a role to play to shape 386 00:21:44,320 --> 00:21:48,600 Speaker 2: the new era of feminine power that is balanced with 387 00:21:48,680 --> 00:21:52,680 Speaker 2: masculine power and to create a world that works for all, 388 00:21:53,320 --> 00:21:55,920 Speaker 2: and that we each have a role to play. However, 389 00:21:56,800 --> 00:21:59,240 Speaker 2: we must take a good look at how we have 390 00:21:59,320 --> 00:22:03,040 Speaker 2: been shaped, how our brains and nervous systems have been 391 00:22:03,520 --> 00:22:07,880 Speaker 2: molded by this culture for thousands of years. That has 392 00:22:07,960 --> 00:22:10,800 Speaker 2: taught us that we're not okay, and we've needed to 393 00:22:10,840 --> 00:22:13,199 Speaker 2: adapt and protect ourselves. I think a lot about the 394 00:22:13,280 --> 00:22:16,680 Speaker 2: split in the Western feminine psyche. It's like your soul, 395 00:22:16,840 --> 00:22:19,560 Speaker 2: my soul. All of our souls came in pure, you know, 396 00:22:19,600 --> 00:22:22,040 Speaker 2: when we think of like the innocence of a newborn baby, 397 00:22:22,520 --> 00:22:27,639 Speaker 2: it's like so pure and our authentic essence, that that 398 00:22:27,800 --> 00:22:32,560 Speaker 2: pure energy. When when our needs are met, our authentic energy, 399 00:22:32,640 --> 00:22:35,960 Speaker 2: our authentic self qualities are able to flourish for most 400 00:22:36,000 --> 00:22:38,920 Speaker 2: of us, we didn't come into a world in which 401 00:22:38,920 --> 00:22:41,000 Speaker 2: our needs were met and it was safe to be us. 402 00:22:41,359 --> 00:22:45,879 Speaker 2: So what happened is this adaptive self developed, so we 403 00:22:45,880 --> 00:22:49,240 Speaker 2: have this adaptive self and this authentic self. This adaptive 404 00:22:49,320 --> 00:22:53,960 Speaker 2: self learned how to adapt in a world where our 405 00:22:54,000 --> 00:22:56,760 Speaker 2: needs weren't met, where we were shamed or made wrong 406 00:22:56,840 --> 00:23:00,720 Speaker 2: for feeling upset. Then layering in if our bodies have 407 00:23:00,760 --> 00:23:04,919 Speaker 2: been violated sexually or through any level of violence. So 408 00:23:05,160 --> 00:23:09,800 Speaker 2: all of these ways have asked ourselves to figure out 409 00:23:09,920 --> 00:23:14,600 Speaker 2: just how to survive, so we develop these intricate survival responses, 410 00:23:15,000 --> 00:23:19,320 Speaker 2: these adaptive responses, whether it's through people pleasing or perfectionism 411 00:23:19,480 --> 00:23:23,359 Speaker 2: or being a total bitch like these are all adaptive 412 00:23:23,400 --> 00:23:28,880 Speaker 2: responses that are actually brilliant survival responses that saved our 413 00:23:29,080 --> 00:23:31,160 Speaker 2: life at one point. That may have saved your mom's 414 00:23:31,160 --> 00:23:32,959 Speaker 2: life at one point, that saved my mom's life at 415 00:23:32,960 --> 00:23:36,040 Speaker 2: one point. However, we're alive at a time where we 416 00:23:36,119 --> 00:23:41,560 Speaker 2: now have new tools, new technology, new awareness to heal 417 00:23:42,480 --> 00:23:46,439 Speaker 2: some of these adaptations through understanding them and also rewiring 418 00:23:46,480 --> 00:23:49,800 Speaker 2: our brains and our nervous systems so that way we 419 00:23:49,880 --> 00:23:54,560 Speaker 2: can lead more from that authentic soul essence, like the 420 00:23:54,600 --> 00:23:57,000 Speaker 2: original energy that we came in with that is just 421 00:23:57,080 --> 00:24:00,399 Speaker 2: so pure and that has a song to sing, gifts 422 00:24:00,400 --> 00:24:00,800 Speaker 2: to GiB. 423 00:24:01,400 --> 00:24:04,800 Speaker 1: When I think about that pure energy of girlhood, I 424 00:24:04,840 --> 00:24:07,640 Speaker 1: think about Sonny, which is a new community that we've 425 00:24:07,720 --> 00:24:11,280 Speaker 1: launched here at Hello Sunshine to really just empower the 426 00:24:11,320 --> 00:24:15,280 Speaker 1: next generation of women now because we're having these conversations, 427 00:24:15,640 --> 00:24:19,320 Speaker 1: hopefully the women who are younger than me, a couple 428 00:24:19,359 --> 00:24:22,520 Speaker 1: generations younger than me, will be able to live more 429 00:24:22,560 --> 00:24:26,520 Speaker 1: authentic lives. Yes, you know, and so if you're in 430 00:24:26,560 --> 00:24:29,760 Speaker 1: their shoes, if you're like a teenager growing up in 431 00:24:29,840 --> 00:24:33,439 Speaker 1: twenty twenty five, what are the ways in which you 432 00:24:33,480 --> 00:24:37,040 Speaker 1: could begin to unlearn some of this programming. 433 00:24:37,280 --> 00:24:40,560 Speaker 2: I mean, what's beautiful about being a teenager is that 434 00:24:40,680 --> 00:24:45,600 Speaker 2: our brain is forming until we're twenty seven. So our 435 00:24:45,600 --> 00:24:48,960 Speaker 2: implicit memory is shaping in our brains, and it's the 436 00:24:49,000 --> 00:24:51,280 Speaker 2: feeling of what it feels like to be me. So 437 00:24:51,320 --> 00:24:52,760 Speaker 2: I would say for a fifteen. 438 00:24:52,480 --> 00:24:58,320 Speaker 3: Year old, while it's still like so newly developing and forming, 439 00:24:59,520 --> 00:25:02,720 Speaker 3: what comes to me, it would be one get so 440 00:25:03,240 --> 00:25:07,080 Speaker 3: comfortable with asking for support and getting support that you need. 441 00:25:07,320 --> 00:25:12,280 Speaker 2: I don't mean the coddling and entitlement that comes with 442 00:25:12,480 --> 00:25:15,520 Speaker 2: having our parents come in and rescue us. 443 00:25:15,480 --> 00:25:19,520 Speaker 1: Or infantalizing teenagers and thinking they're not capable of you know, 444 00:25:19,880 --> 00:25:20,440 Speaker 1: certain things. 445 00:25:20,520 --> 00:25:24,520 Speaker 2: But the support that you need to discover your voice 446 00:25:24,640 --> 00:25:29,440 Speaker 2: and use it, the support that you need to look 447 00:25:29,480 --> 00:25:32,119 Speaker 2: at what am I really feeling? Am I comfortable with 448 00:25:32,160 --> 00:25:34,520 Speaker 2: this or not? Do I feel sad about this or not? 449 00:25:34,640 --> 00:25:38,480 Speaker 2: Do I feel mad about this? Like, grow your emotional intelligence, 450 00:25:38,560 --> 00:25:43,280 Speaker 2: your capacity to make friends with your feelings. Grow your 451 00:25:43,359 --> 00:25:46,679 Speaker 2: support in terms of who your tribe is, like people 452 00:25:46,680 --> 00:25:50,040 Speaker 2: that are also committed to relearning how to be good 453 00:25:50,040 --> 00:25:53,879 Speaker 2: friends with each other. Be very very selective with who 454 00:25:53,960 --> 00:25:57,040 Speaker 2: you surround yourself with, and that they're safe women, that 455 00:25:57,080 --> 00:26:00,800 Speaker 2: they make you feel better about yourself right around them, 456 00:26:00,920 --> 00:26:03,240 Speaker 2: and then also behind your back, that you know that 457 00:26:03,280 --> 00:26:04,320 Speaker 2: they're propping you up. 458 00:26:04,600 --> 00:26:05,880 Speaker 1: Well, I was going to say, when we think about 459 00:26:05,880 --> 00:26:09,119 Speaker 1: the consequences of gossip, it feels so acute at that age, 460 00:26:09,280 --> 00:26:09,800 Speaker 1: so acute. 461 00:26:09,960 --> 00:26:13,240 Speaker 2: Yes, the need for belonging is really heightened. 462 00:26:13,320 --> 00:26:17,480 Speaker 1: Oh so crange. Yeah, so you have that ability. I'm 463 00:26:17,480 --> 00:26:19,040 Speaker 1: so glad that you said this and that we are 464 00:26:19,080 --> 00:26:22,040 Speaker 1: talking about this for the next generation, because to just 465 00:26:22,240 --> 00:26:25,439 Speaker 1: take that pause and that moment as a teenager to 466 00:26:25,800 --> 00:26:27,800 Speaker 1: actually make friends with your own feelings. 467 00:26:28,040 --> 00:26:31,720 Speaker 2: Yes, iver that and find a healthy, safe grown up. Yes, 468 00:26:32,119 --> 00:26:33,800 Speaker 2: find a healthy, safe grown up. 469 00:26:33,960 --> 00:26:34,280 Speaker 1: Yes. 470 00:26:34,320 --> 00:26:38,560 Speaker 2: That encourages you to be more. You tell me more 471 00:26:38,800 --> 00:26:41,320 Speaker 2: about how you're feeling, Tell me more about what you're thinking. 472 00:26:41,720 --> 00:26:43,600 Speaker 2: Tell me more what that's like for you. Oh, tell 473 00:26:43,600 --> 00:26:45,879 Speaker 2: me more. You didn't like that, tell me why? Yeah, 474 00:26:45,920 --> 00:26:49,800 Speaker 2: that's true. Support And whether you're fifteen or thirty five, 475 00:26:49,880 --> 00:26:53,480 Speaker 2: or fifty five or seventy five, yeah, still the same 476 00:26:53,520 --> 00:26:54,000 Speaker 2: things apply. 477 00:26:54,160 --> 00:26:57,040 Speaker 1: Find a grown up you trust, Yes, no matter what 478 00:26:57,119 --> 00:26:57,679 Speaker 1: age you're at. 479 00:27:00,160 --> 00:27:01,359 Speaker 2: From Gabriella Taylor. 480 00:27:01,480 --> 00:27:09,800 Speaker 1: After this quick break, we're back with Gabriella Taylor. Okay, So, 481 00:27:09,880 --> 00:27:13,280 Speaker 1: now that we've established the ways in which patriarchy and 482 00:27:13,320 --> 00:27:17,000 Speaker 1: misogyny show up in our lives, I'm realizing that sometimes 483 00:27:17,040 --> 00:27:20,480 Speaker 1: it's easier to understand these patterns through stories. And I 484 00:27:20,480 --> 00:27:24,600 Speaker 1: think about all the TV shows and films that shaped 485 00:27:24,600 --> 00:27:27,919 Speaker 1: who I am and what my definition of womanhood is. 486 00:27:28,560 --> 00:27:32,040 Speaker 1: So let's break down some TV and film characters together, 487 00:27:32,240 --> 00:27:35,320 Speaker 1: and we're going to file them under empowered archetypes or 488 00:27:35,359 --> 00:27:39,760 Speaker 1: collapse archetypes. When I think about matriarchal societies. I think 489 00:27:39,800 --> 00:27:43,840 Speaker 1: about the Barbie Movie and it's a really cartoonish depiction 490 00:27:44,040 --> 00:27:47,560 Speaker 1: of what that would be. But when you think about 491 00:27:47,680 --> 00:27:52,280 Speaker 1: how the Barbie Movie represented feminine energy, what were your. 492 00:27:52,200 --> 00:27:55,800 Speaker 2: High level takeaways? I mean, I loved Barlabe and I 493 00:27:55,840 --> 00:27:59,240 Speaker 2: love the energy of here's this perfect doll waking up 494 00:27:59,280 --> 00:28:04,480 Speaker 2: to her messy humanity. And it's also challenging because our 495 00:28:04,520 --> 00:28:08,200 Speaker 2: culture yet does not embrace that at all, and so 496 00:28:08,240 --> 00:28:11,640 Speaker 2: it does plant a seed of possibility of hey, ladies, 497 00:28:11,880 --> 00:28:15,439 Speaker 2: it's okay to be messy. You're loved anyways. Yeah, Yet 498 00:28:15,680 --> 00:28:17,879 Speaker 2: our culture at large there's no place for that. 499 00:28:18,000 --> 00:28:20,399 Speaker 1: Yet you're right, that was the most powerful part of 500 00:28:20,400 --> 00:28:23,920 Speaker 1: that film was her waking up from this perfect reality 501 00:28:23,920 --> 00:28:26,800 Speaker 1: that she was presenting to everyone and stepping into her 502 00:28:26,880 --> 00:28:27,680 Speaker 1: messy humanity. 503 00:28:27,720 --> 00:28:28,960 Speaker 2: I love the way that you phrase that. 504 00:28:29,400 --> 00:28:34,200 Speaker 1: Okay, let's move on to some other empowered archetypes. Wonder Woman, Oh, 505 00:28:34,359 --> 00:28:38,360 Speaker 1: another good one, because she's rooted in justice but yet 506 00:28:39,080 --> 00:28:43,840 Speaker 1: not domination. Right, Yes, because if we think of the patriarchy, 507 00:28:43,960 --> 00:28:45,920 Speaker 1: it's a hierarchical structure. 508 00:28:46,480 --> 00:28:51,440 Speaker 2: I think domination over collaboration. So Wonder Woman is a 509 00:28:51,480 --> 00:28:54,920 Speaker 2: beautiful example where she's not out to dominate like she's 510 00:28:55,000 --> 00:28:58,479 Speaker 2: a badass. You don't mess with her. Yet she is 511 00:28:58,520 --> 00:29:01,600 Speaker 2: being led by the power of life love. It's not 512 00:29:01,720 --> 00:29:05,160 Speaker 2: the power of force or greed or any of these 513 00:29:05,200 --> 00:29:07,960 Speaker 2: things that are just taking what they want with no 514 00:29:08,080 --> 00:29:10,760 Speaker 2: awareness of the cost. Like when I think of Wonder 515 00:29:10,760 --> 00:29:15,320 Speaker 2: Woman and what she represents, she was fighting in service 516 00:29:15,400 --> 00:29:18,920 Speaker 2: to the good. It's like that ferocious mama bear energy 517 00:29:19,040 --> 00:29:23,000 Speaker 2: that's like no, like you will not, you know, mess 518 00:29:23,040 --> 00:29:26,400 Speaker 2: with my cubs. So it's the intention behind it all 519 00:29:26,440 --> 00:29:29,440 Speaker 2: of this, because we have to remember that our brains, 520 00:29:30,000 --> 00:29:35,000 Speaker 2: like the motivational driving system of our brain, which governs 521 00:29:35,240 --> 00:29:39,000 Speaker 2: you know, our feelings, our behaviors, everything. It rules eighty 522 00:29:39,040 --> 00:29:43,840 Speaker 2: percent of our experience and it's subconscious. So our conscious 523 00:29:43,920 --> 00:29:46,560 Speaker 2: mind might have this idea of, oh, I'm doing this 524 00:29:46,640 --> 00:29:49,800 Speaker 2: for a good reason. I'm getting that facelift, or I'm 525 00:29:49,840 --> 00:29:52,600 Speaker 2: not asking for a raise, or oh, I'm gossiping about 526 00:29:52,640 --> 00:29:54,920 Speaker 2: this woman because so and so really needs to know. 527 00:29:55,200 --> 00:29:57,520 Speaker 2: So our conscious minds might try and trick us and 528 00:29:57,560 --> 00:29:59,600 Speaker 2: tell us that we're doing it for a good reason. 529 00:30:00,000 --> 00:30:04,320 Speaker 2: But if eighty percent of our unconscious motivational system is 530 00:30:04,360 --> 00:30:12,600 Speaker 2: actually holding memory and experience around insecurity, unworthiness, competition, that 531 00:30:12,920 --> 00:30:16,200 Speaker 2: is the motivational energy that is actually driving our life. 532 00:30:16,320 --> 00:30:19,640 Speaker 2: This is why Carl Jung, the famed Swiss psychologist, said, 533 00:30:20,120 --> 00:30:24,200 Speaker 2: until we make the unconscious conscious, it will rule our 534 00:30:24,240 --> 00:30:27,480 Speaker 2: lives and we will call it fate. And I think 535 00:30:28,160 --> 00:30:30,479 Speaker 2: it's so. You know, one of the things that I 536 00:30:30,560 --> 00:30:35,360 Speaker 2: see in a lot of the you know, like rah rah, 537 00:30:35,440 --> 00:30:39,000 Speaker 2: girl power, girl boss, I am woman, hear me roar, 538 00:30:39,800 --> 00:30:43,520 Speaker 2: is that it's frivolous and we have to all come 539 00:30:43,560 --> 00:30:46,840 Speaker 2: together to recognize that the stakes are so high right now. 540 00:30:47,520 --> 00:30:51,360 Speaker 2: This is not frivolous. It is incumbent upon us as 541 00:30:51,440 --> 00:30:55,840 Speaker 2: women and men to heal the divided self that has 542 00:30:55,880 --> 00:31:00,760 Speaker 2: caused us to quash our humanity, to shut down our emotions, 543 00:31:01,080 --> 00:31:03,360 Speaker 2: and to shut down about how much we care about 544 00:31:03,400 --> 00:31:06,440 Speaker 2: each other. Because we're not going to survive most likely 545 00:31:07,200 --> 00:31:10,640 Speaker 2: unless we do this work together. And that's also why 546 00:31:10,720 --> 00:31:13,719 Speaker 2: I am so thrilled about there's so much that we 547 00:31:13,800 --> 00:31:15,640 Speaker 2: can do. I mean, this is why I've spent the 548 00:31:15,640 --> 00:31:20,000 Speaker 2: bulk of my career specializing in the neuroscience of feminine power. 549 00:31:20,520 --> 00:31:23,280 Speaker 2: It's like, in a very real, integrated and bodied way, 550 00:31:23,680 --> 00:31:26,840 Speaker 2: not in this sort of nebulous like, oh, you are powerful, 551 00:31:27,200 --> 00:31:30,400 Speaker 2: you know, go do your thing. It's like no, like, 552 00:31:30,480 --> 00:31:34,920 Speaker 2: we actually have this extraordinary capacity to leverage this inborn 553 00:31:35,000 --> 00:31:38,000 Speaker 2: power and strength within us as the power of God 554 00:31:38,080 --> 00:31:41,080 Speaker 2: or the universe or spirit flows through us when we 555 00:31:41,200 --> 00:31:47,240 Speaker 2: release the blocks. What are the blocks? Shame, comparison, fear, hatred, anger, 556 00:31:47,680 --> 00:31:50,400 Speaker 2: Those are blocks that ask us to pay attention to 557 00:31:50,440 --> 00:31:53,680 Speaker 2: them and attend to them, not try and steamroll them 558 00:31:53,960 --> 00:31:56,480 Speaker 2: or make ourselves wrong for feeling them. So we have 559 00:31:56,560 --> 00:31:59,640 Speaker 2: to address the things that block us inside from our 560 00:31:59,680 --> 00:32:00,680 Speaker 2: power inside. 561 00:32:01,880 --> 00:32:04,640 Speaker 1: Another empowered archetype that comes to mind is the women 562 00:32:04,680 --> 00:32:05,320 Speaker 1: of Wakonda. 563 00:32:05,880 --> 00:32:09,120 Speaker 2: Another panther, another good one, I know, such a good one. 564 00:32:09,360 --> 00:32:13,040 Speaker 2: Again the power of love. Like they were protecting, they 565 00:32:13,040 --> 00:32:16,440 Speaker 2: were guarding, They were like not to mess with, because 566 00:32:16,560 --> 00:32:20,200 Speaker 2: they were operating from the energy of love, of looking 567 00:32:20,240 --> 00:32:23,320 Speaker 2: out for themselves in each community, for the community. Yeah, 568 00:32:23,360 --> 00:32:26,200 Speaker 2: and not in a martyr way, but it's in a 569 00:32:26,240 --> 00:32:28,880 Speaker 2: really embodied, like beautiful way. 570 00:32:29,920 --> 00:32:34,040 Speaker 1: I also think of our own Reese Weatherspoon as Elwood's 571 00:32:34,120 --> 00:32:38,080 Speaker 1: in Legally Blonde. She, to me, is this empowered archetype. 572 00:32:38,200 --> 00:32:40,959 Speaker 2: Yes, it's such a great example. And boy does she 573 00:32:41,040 --> 00:32:44,120 Speaker 2: have a voice. Or lady. Does she have a voice? Yes, 574 00:32:44,400 --> 00:32:45,800 Speaker 2: and she knew how to use it? 575 00:32:45,920 --> 00:32:51,440 Speaker 1: Yes, yes, exactly. Okay, I have a controversial empowered archetype. 576 00:32:51,440 --> 00:32:53,400 Speaker 1: I want to throw them there, go for it. Samantha 577 00:32:53,440 --> 00:32:54,040 Speaker 1: from Sex. 578 00:32:53,880 --> 00:32:55,920 Speaker 2: And the City, Oh, such a good one. 579 00:32:56,040 --> 00:32:58,520 Speaker 1: Well, okay, So when I think Carrie has become so 580 00:32:58,640 --> 00:33:03,160 Speaker 1: controversial because as new audiences are rewatching the show, they're 581 00:33:03,200 --> 00:33:05,240 Speaker 1: kind of taking to social media and sounding off on 582 00:33:05,360 --> 00:33:08,920 Speaker 1: Carrie and how messy she is and everything. Samantha, to me, 583 00:33:09,200 --> 00:33:14,520 Speaker 1: was always such a good friend. She seemed liberated sexually, 584 00:33:15,720 --> 00:33:19,240 Speaker 1: and she seemed to operate from this place of her 585 00:33:19,280 --> 00:33:22,080 Speaker 1: own desire all the time. Is she empowered or is 586 00:33:22,120 --> 00:33:23,520 Speaker 1: she a collapsed archetype? 587 00:33:23,800 --> 00:33:27,080 Speaker 2: Such a great question. So again remembering that all of 588 00:33:27,120 --> 00:33:31,880 Speaker 2: these women, in my perspective, they all are animating like 589 00:33:31,920 --> 00:33:34,480 Speaker 2: that template that I was talking about, that hardware that 590 00:33:34,520 --> 00:33:36,200 Speaker 2: we were installed with that told us how to be 591 00:33:36,240 --> 00:33:41,480 Speaker 2: a woman. So Samantha, I wonder like, was she really 592 00:33:41,600 --> 00:33:47,400 Speaker 2: that sexually empowered or maybe sexuality was the currency for 593 00:33:47,520 --> 00:33:52,560 Speaker 2: intimacy because nobody actually showed her healthy relationship skills that 594 00:33:52,680 --> 00:33:55,760 Speaker 2: required that she didn't have to do anything or perform 595 00:33:55,800 --> 00:33:58,000 Speaker 2: a certain way to be loved or to be held 596 00:33:58,120 --> 00:33:59,800 Speaker 2: or to be heard. I don't know. 597 00:34:00,160 --> 00:34:04,560 Speaker 1: This is the other side of women's sexual abras that 598 00:34:04,560 --> 00:34:05,440 Speaker 1: we don't talk about. 599 00:34:05,560 --> 00:34:08,600 Speaker 2: Right, How many of us have been sexually abused? Right? 600 00:34:08,719 --> 00:34:14,240 Speaker 2: And how that can lead to unhealthy, yes, tragic objectification 601 00:34:14,320 --> 00:34:17,680 Speaker 2: of ourselves in the name of sexual agency. Like our 602 00:34:17,719 --> 00:34:22,239 Speaker 2: nervous system shapes around three generations of trauma. So even 603 00:34:22,239 --> 00:34:24,360 Speaker 2: if it didn't happen to my body, it happened to 604 00:34:24,400 --> 00:34:27,040 Speaker 2: Mom's body, my body, a nervous system is still going 605 00:34:27,080 --> 00:34:29,960 Speaker 2: to respond to it. And I suppose the question is 606 00:34:29,960 --> 00:34:32,359 Speaker 2: is can I share with you how I'm hurting? And 607 00:34:32,400 --> 00:34:33,880 Speaker 2: will you not use it against me? 608 00:34:35,200 --> 00:34:38,320 Speaker 1: Okay, moving on to some collapse archetypes. So this is 609 00:34:38,360 --> 00:34:40,560 Speaker 1: what we this is what we don't want to do, right. 610 00:34:41,000 --> 00:34:42,480 Speaker 2: This is what we don't want to do, but we 611 00:34:42,520 --> 00:34:44,400 Speaker 2: all do. But we all do it, and all we 612 00:34:44,440 --> 00:34:46,800 Speaker 2: need to normalize. Like this lives in all of us. 613 00:34:46,800 --> 00:34:48,480 Speaker 1: Like, for example, we all have a bit of Regina 614 00:34:48,480 --> 00:34:50,680 Speaker 1: George and us at one point or another. Yes, right, 615 00:34:50,800 --> 00:34:54,359 Speaker 1: she represents the adaptive shadow feminine. 616 00:34:54,600 --> 00:34:57,239 Speaker 2: She has this desire. All have a mean girl in us, 617 00:34:57,440 --> 00:35:00,360 Speaker 2: We all have one that learned to compete in us, 618 00:35:00,360 --> 00:35:02,399 Speaker 2: like we need to own that this libs in all 619 00:35:02,440 --> 00:35:04,560 Speaker 2: of us and really get honest about how is it 620 00:35:04,600 --> 00:35:07,480 Speaker 2: showing up inside of me? And how am I reenacting 621 00:35:07,520 --> 00:35:10,120 Speaker 2: it today? Maybe I learned it when I was twelve, 622 00:35:10,360 --> 00:35:12,800 Speaker 2: but I'm still reenacting it in the boardroom. 623 00:35:13,719 --> 00:35:17,560 Speaker 1: And then I think the Disney Classic Princesses take the 624 00:35:17,600 --> 00:35:19,000 Speaker 1: prize over collapse. 625 00:35:19,360 --> 00:35:25,000 Speaker 2: I mean, God, bless Night and Shining Armor. Disney should 626 00:35:25,000 --> 00:35:26,960 Speaker 2: be paying for all of our therapy, Like, God help us. 627 00:35:27,040 --> 00:35:28,799 Speaker 2: I am, And. 628 00:35:28,719 --> 00:35:31,719 Speaker 1: I'm the biggest hypocrite because I'm also the biggest Disney fan, 629 00:35:31,800 --> 00:35:34,799 Speaker 1: and I still love all these movies because it's just, 630 00:35:34,880 --> 00:35:37,160 Speaker 1: you know, it's that like familiar, cozy feeling familiar. 631 00:35:37,239 --> 00:35:40,840 Speaker 2: It's the nommalia, Yeah, familiar because it touches that place 632 00:35:40,880 --> 00:35:42,560 Speaker 2: of how we've literally been programmed. 633 00:35:42,760 --> 00:35:46,040 Speaker 1: Yeah, even on this show, we've broken down some things 634 00:35:46,080 --> 00:35:49,960 Speaker 1: like Belle and Danielle, my former co host, would be like, 635 00:35:50,040 --> 00:35:51,680 Speaker 1: oh yeah, she was actually kidnaps Moon. 636 00:35:52,080 --> 00:35:55,440 Speaker 2: Kidnapped, remember that. Yeah. I was like, oh, yeah, I 637 00:35:55,440 --> 00:35:57,239 Speaker 2: guess you're right. I guess that's it. Like we can 638 00:35:57,320 --> 00:35:59,719 Speaker 2: laugh about it because it's like, oh my god, the 639 00:36:00,000 --> 00:36:02,520 Speaker 2: alma in our culture is so normalized. We have to 640 00:36:02,560 --> 00:36:04,880 Speaker 2: laugh about it, yes, and we also have to cry about. 641 00:36:04,640 --> 00:36:08,280 Speaker 1: It completely, bringing us to the end of our conversation, Gabriella, 642 00:36:08,680 --> 00:36:10,080 Speaker 1: this is a part of our show that we like 643 00:36:10,120 --> 00:36:12,120 Speaker 1: to call Moment to Shine because we want to give 644 00:36:12,120 --> 00:36:14,640 Speaker 1: our guests a moment to shine. So what are you 645 00:36:14,800 --> 00:36:15,920 Speaker 1: celebrating right now? 646 00:36:16,480 --> 00:36:22,359 Speaker 2: I am celebrating the example of healthy feminine power that 647 00:36:22,520 --> 00:36:25,960 Speaker 2: is being displayed through us right now. We met, We 648 00:36:26,000 --> 00:36:29,920 Speaker 2: created a relationship. You invited me onto your platform to 649 00:36:30,040 --> 00:36:33,480 Speaker 2: talk about this thing that affects all of us that 650 00:36:33,520 --> 00:36:38,240 Speaker 2: most of us feel really bad about, gossip, competition, self sabotage, 651 00:36:38,520 --> 00:36:40,520 Speaker 2: but to talk about it so we can wake up 652 00:36:40,560 --> 00:36:44,360 Speaker 2: from the spell and realize, Oh, you're not to blame. 653 00:36:44,440 --> 00:36:47,040 Speaker 2: I'm not to blame. We all struggle with this and 654 00:36:47,080 --> 00:36:49,080 Speaker 2: there's so much that we can do. So I am 655 00:36:49,160 --> 00:36:52,960 Speaker 2: celebrating the power of women to come together to speak 656 00:36:53,000 --> 00:36:56,360 Speaker 2: about the things that really matter so that we have 657 00:36:56,440 --> 00:37:00,680 Speaker 2: a chance to actually create a whole new possible for 658 00:37:00,800 --> 00:37:04,120 Speaker 2: life to flourish. And I believe that's happening now. I'm 659 00:37:04,120 --> 00:37:07,080 Speaker 2: celebrating that too. Yes, thank you so much, Gabriella. 660 00:37:07,200 --> 00:37:13,080 Speaker 1: Yes, Gabriella Taylor is a master certified life coach and 661 00:37:13,320 --> 00:37:16,919 Speaker 1: ordained minister. To learn more about her executive coaching work, 662 00:37:17,080 --> 00:37:23,279 Speaker 1: head to Gabriella Taylor dot com. The bright Side is 663 00:37:23,280 --> 00:37:26,360 Speaker 1: a production of Hello Sunshine and iHeart Podcasts and is 664 00:37:26,400 --> 00:37:30,760 Speaker 1: executive produced by Reese Witherspoon and me Simone Boyce. Production 665 00:37:31,040 --> 00:37:34,759 Speaker 1: is by a Cast Creative Studios. Our producers are Taylor Williamson, 666 00:37:35,040 --> 00:37:39,759 Speaker 1: Adrian Bain, Abby Delk, and Darby Masters. Our production assistant 667 00:37:39,800 --> 00:37:44,319 Speaker 1: is Joya putnoy Acasts. Executive producers are Jenny Kaplan and 668 00:37:44,360 --> 00:37:48,480 Speaker 1: Emily Rudder. Maureen Polo and Reese Witherspoon are the executive 669 00:37:48,480 --> 00:37:52,640 Speaker 1: producers for Hello Sunshine. Ali Perry and Lauren Hansen are 670 00:37:52,680 --> 00:37:57,480 Speaker 1: the executive producers for iHeart Podcasts. Tim Palizola is our showrunner. 671 00:37:57,920 --> 00:38:01,480 Speaker 1: Our theme song is by Anna Stump and Hamilton lake Houser.