WEBVTT - The Valley is BACK! 0:00:05.360 --> 0:00:09.320 Welcome back everyone. As you know, season two has premiered 0:00:09.680 --> 0:00:13.040 and there's so much going on. Thankfully I have my 0:00:13.160 --> 0:00:16.200 friend and co star on with me today, Janet, so 0:00:16.280 --> 0:00:20.040 we can support each other through this madness. Yay, Hi, 0:00:20.120 --> 0:00:21.119 how you doing it good? 0:00:21.160 --> 0:00:23.360 Thanks for having me. I'm so excited me too. 0:00:23.640 --> 0:00:26.880 I really wanted to have you first because I feel 0:00:26.880 --> 0:00:29.600 like we've grown closest to each other totally. 0:00:29.800 --> 0:00:32.640 We've had to survive together through the madness. 0:00:32.760 --> 0:00:33.960 But did you ever think that? 0:00:34.680 --> 0:00:37.400 Honestly, no, You and I, I feel like, are so 0:00:37.560 --> 0:00:41.160 different in so many ways, like just with I don't 0:00:41.200 --> 0:00:43.760 know how we live and we're I don't know. We're 0:00:43.920 --> 0:00:45.920 very very opposite in so many ways. But I also 0:00:46.000 --> 0:00:49.320 feel like we're so similar about like our core values, 0:00:49.680 --> 0:00:52.320 you know what I mean. Like our lifestyles are very different, 0:00:52.360 --> 0:00:54.480 Like I love junk food. You're like always eating like 0:00:54.600 --> 0:00:58.400 salmon and broncoli and like stuff like that. But we together, 0:00:58.440 --> 0:01:00.520 I feel like when it comes down to like the 0:01:00.640 --> 0:01:02.560 really important stuff, I feel like we have a lot 0:01:02.600 --> 0:01:03.040 in common. 0:01:03.160 --> 0:01:05.839 I agree we're we have we're like black and white 0:01:05.880 --> 0:01:08.039 to each other, or we call each other. 0:01:07.920 --> 0:01:10.400 Out right one hundred percent. It's I feel like, there's 0:01:10.440 --> 0:01:12.480 definitely been times I love that about you too. Is 0:01:12.480 --> 0:01:14.759 that like if something's going on, if you're like I'm 0:01:14.760 --> 0:01:16.720 gonna send a text and say this, I'm like, don't 0:01:16.760 --> 0:01:18.680 do that, or it feels I'd be like a screech 0:01:18.720 --> 0:01:20.640 out of something like Okay, you had me until you 0:01:20.680 --> 0:01:22.600 said this, and like maybe you shouldn't have said this, 0:01:22.640 --> 0:01:24.520 and vice versa. But like, yeah, I feel like we 0:01:24.560 --> 0:01:26.679 do keep each other in check with things. But then 0:01:26.720 --> 0:01:29.120 also like if I like there's times where I'm like, 0:01:29.160 --> 0:01:30.720 oh my god, the only person who's gonna get how 0:01:30.760 --> 0:01:32.240 annoying this is this, Michelle. 0:01:32.319 --> 0:01:34.600 Yeah, we do talk to each other quite a bit. 0:01:34.680 --> 0:01:36.560 Yeah, and you're an early bird like me. We were 0:01:36.640 --> 0:01:39.000 up this morning at like six in the morning texting 0:01:39.040 --> 0:01:41.760 about stuff, and I'm like, you're the only other person 0:01:41.760 --> 0:01:44.559 I feel like that's up like at the crack of dawn. Yeah, 0:01:44.600 --> 0:01:46.720 mostly because Isabella is keeping you up at the crack 0:01:46.760 --> 0:01:47.160 of dawn. 0:01:47.400 --> 0:01:49.600 So who's the first person that you call when you 0:01:49.640 --> 0:01:50.600 watch the episodes? 0:01:51.120 --> 0:01:51.680 Probably you? 0:01:51.920 --> 0:01:54.080 I think it's definitely you. I'm like, I need to 0:01:54.080 --> 0:01:56.880 get your feedback. I would need to get your commentary, right, Like, 0:01:56.960 --> 0:01:58.400 I actually like that about us. 0:01:58.480 --> 0:02:01.160 Yeah, and I Jason's good with that too. But normally, 0:02:01.240 --> 0:02:03.480 I feel like we normally get stuff when it's like 0:02:03.520 --> 0:02:05.320 the workday and he's like, i'll watch it later, and 0:02:05.360 --> 0:02:07.080 I'm like I can't wait. I'm like I have to 0:02:07.120 --> 0:02:09.680 watch everything right now. But Jason always gives me like 0:02:09.720 --> 0:02:14.080 the reasonable like lawyer thing where I'm like, oh my gosh, 0:02:14.120 --> 0:02:16.760 I can't believe this happened in life and like a 0:02:16.840 --> 0:02:18.520 show in life. But I feel like he's always gives 0:02:18.600 --> 0:02:20.640 me like he's like, no, it's not that big of 0:02:20.680 --> 0:02:23.560 a deal, like calm, you know, he keeps me calm 0:02:23.560 --> 0:02:24.079 with all of it. 0:02:24.280 --> 0:02:26.920 He'd actually be a great person the text too. Yeah, yeah, 0:02:26.960 --> 0:02:27.720 I might start texting. 0:02:27.840 --> 0:02:30.280 Yeah, text him. He's great with stuff. He truly is brittany. 0:02:30.280 --> 0:02:31.840 I feel like his text him a few times with 0:02:31.880 --> 0:02:35.200 some things and he gives a very good, fair answer 0:02:35.320 --> 0:02:36.359 most of the time to know. 0:02:36.600 --> 0:02:40.239 Yeah, tell me why did you move from Ohio to La? 0:02:40.440 --> 0:02:41.560 What is that story? 0:02:41.840 --> 0:02:44.639 It's funny. So I have an aunt and uncle who 0:02:44.639 --> 0:02:47.800 live in La. My uncle's a writer. He's written a 0:02:47.800 --> 0:02:51.560 bunch of like horror and paranormal. He wrote Paranormal Activity too. 0:02:51.760 --> 0:02:55.760 He's written a bunch of cool, like horror scary movies 0:02:55.880 --> 0:02:59.040 he did, like NYPD, Blue, Law and Order, Special Victims Unit, 0:02:59.360 --> 0:03:01.040 all this stuff. When I was a kid. They don't 0:03:01.040 --> 0:03:02.840 have kids, So when I was a kid, I would 0:03:02.840 --> 0:03:04.960 come out here and they would take me to Disneyland, 0:03:05.000 --> 0:03:08.760 to Universal Studios whatever, like Studio a lot my uncle 0:03:08.880 --> 0:03:11.560 was working on at the time. He would have like 0:03:11.600 --> 0:03:14.079 a professional tour where they would drive me around in 0:03:14.120 --> 0:03:16.519 a golf cart and like show me all the sets 0:03:16.560 --> 0:03:18.120 and all the stuff. So I would come out here 0:03:18.160 --> 0:03:19.240 when I was a kid, and I was like, this 0:03:19.400 --> 0:03:21.480 is so cool, and they would take me to all 0:03:21.480 --> 0:03:22.960 the tour stuff. But then they would also take me 0:03:23.000 --> 0:03:25.239 like to the farmer's market with them, and like to 0:03:25.360 --> 0:03:28.919 cool restaurant like Little Doms and Los Felis is like 0:03:28.960 --> 0:03:31.160 one of their favorites, and like you know, some of 0:03:31.160 --> 0:03:33.080 those spots. So they took me to like all the 0:03:33.080 --> 0:03:35.560 cool touristy stuff as a kid that you want to see, 0:03:35.560 --> 0:03:37.840 like all the Universal and all that. But then also 0:03:37.960 --> 0:03:39.520 like I kind of got an idea of what it's 0:03:39.560 --> 0:03:41.760 really like to live here and like kind of seeing 0:03:41.760 --> 0:03:44.240 like the culture of la in like you know, like 0:03:44.280 --> 0:03:46.440 at the farmer's market, you kind of see everybody and 0:03:46.520 --> 0:03:49.160 kind of how everybody eats here and things like that. 0:03:49.200 --> 0:03:51.240 So I loved coming out here. When I was a kid. 0:03:51.280 --> 0:03:53.280 I always got to bring like a friend for spring 0:03:53.320 --> 0:03:55.280 break and we would, you know, ride our bikes around 0:03:55.280 --> 0:03:57.600 Los Felis, and like, I just loved it. I loved 0:03:57.600 --> 0:04:00.520 how warm it was, I loved the beach, and so 0:04:00.680 --> 0:04:03.200 I always I felt like wanted to be here. But 0:04:03.800 --> 0:04:05.760 I was born and raised in Ohio. I went to 0:04:05.800 --> 0:04:09.120 college in Ohio. I got married right after college in 0:04:09.200 --> 0:04:12.040 Ohio to somebody who also born and raised in Ohio, 0:04:12.120 --> 0:04:15.240 so it never seemed kind of practical to actually move 0:04:15.280 --> 0:04:17.760 out here. And I was always kind of like, I 0:04:17.800 --> 0:04:20.080 don't know, scared or felt like, oh, I you know, 0:04:20.120 --> 0:04:22.800 I can't move to Los Angeles. It's too expensive and 0:04:22.880 --> 0:04:26.120 what would I do out there. And when I was 0:04:26.480 --> 0:04:30.080 married back in Ohio, things you know, started kind of 0:04:30.080 --> 0:04:31.440 falling apart. We got married when. 0:04:31.320 --> 0:04:32.800 We were I was going to say, how old were you? 0:04:32.880 --> 0:04:34.839 I think I was twenty three when I got married, 0:04:34.880 --> 0:04:37.080 which I remember at the time thinking like in Ohio 0:04:37.160 --> 0:04:41.000 everybody kind of gets married young, settles down, has kids young. 0:04:41.240 --> 0:04:45.320 So I remember thinking, like, you know, that's just what 0:04:45.400 --> 0:04:47.200 you do. It was just normal at that time. But 0:04:47.520 --> 0:04:50.479 pretty soon after and he was maybe twenty six when 0:04:50.480 --> 0:04:54.720 we got married, and so we were really young and 0:04:55.040 --> 0:04:57.440 pretty quickly after. We were married for about four years 0:04:57.480 --> 0:05:01.240 together for about four before we got married, and it 0:05:01.360 --> 0:05:04.640 was I started realizing, like I was figuring out who 0:05:04.640 --> 0:05:06.520 I was for the first time in my life and 0:05:06.560 --> 0:05:08.640 figuring out who I wanted to be as an adult, 0:05:09.320 --> 0:05:13.000 and we started drifting apart. There was obviously a lot 0:05:13.120 --> 0:05:16.039 you know, you don't get divorced just because, absolutely for 0:05:16.120 --> 0:05:17.760 no reason. So there was a lot of stuff. And 0:05:17.800 --> 0:05:19.720 my ex husband is a very nice guy and we're 0:05:19.760 --> 0:05:22.640 on very friendly terms now, you know, we wish each 0:05:22.640 --> 0:05:25.280 other a happy birthday, or if I see something or 0:05:25.320 --> 0:05:28.159 he sees something, you know, pop up about I don't know, 0:05:28.160 --> 0:05:31.159 a mutual friend or something, will kind of lightly talk. 0:05:31.720 --> 0:05:33.680 So you know, now I'm like, I wish him nothing 0:05:33.720 --> 0:05:35.839 but the best. But we had a lot of issues 0:05:35.880 --> 0:05:37.680 that A lot of it was like just that we 0:05:37.680 --> 0:05:39.960 were married so young and didn't know what we were doing, 0:05:40.080 --> 0:05:42.800 didn't know who we were, and so things started kind 0:05:42.800 --> 0:05:45.159 of falling apart, and I was like, let's why don't 0:05:45.200 --> 0:05:48.720 we try temporarily to move to California together. So we 0:05:48.800 --> 0:05:52.240 came out here together in twenty seventeen. 0:05:52.320 --> 0:05:53.120 Oh, I didn't know this. 0:05:53.200 --> 0:05:56.040 Yeah, early twenty seventeen, we lived in an airbnb and 0:05:56.120 --> 0:05:59.760 Silver Lake together. We drove across the country together with 0:05:59.760 --> 0:06:04.000 our cats wow, and moved into a place in silver Lake. 0:06:04.160 --> 0:06:07.200 And I think I was kind of hoping, like, oh, 0:06:07.279 --> 0:06:10.520 if we get out of Columbus, Ohio, where we're from 0:06:11.000 --> 0:06:13.240 and have like a new kind of fresh start, our 0:06:13.279 --> 0:06:15.799 marriage will come back together. Because I had never wanted 0:06:15.839 --> 0:06:18.919 to get divorced. That was never an option or something 0:06:18.920 --> 0:06:21.039 that I thought of. But when we got out here, 0:06:21.120 --> 0:06:23.720 it was kind of like, oh, it's the same problems 0:06:23.720 --> 0:06:26.080 we're having, but we also don't have like the support 0:06:26.160 --> 0:06:28.400 of our friends and family like we do back home. 0:06:28.480 --> 0:06:31.800 Yeah, the problems don't go away. No, I learned that myself. 0:06:31.400 --> 0:06:34.320 And I when we were here, I absolutely fell in 0:06:34.320 --> 0:06:36.440 love with La all over again. I was like, this 0:06:36.520 --> 0:06:38.839 is where I feel like in my heart I'm supposed 0:06:38.920 --> 0:06:41.600 to be just you know. Especially silver Lake is such 0:06:41.640 --> 0:06:44.320 a fun little area, like we would just walk around 0:06:44.320 --> 0:06:46.720 all the time, and it kind of towards the end 0:06:46.760 --> 0:06:48.039 of the time we were here, it was kind of 0:06:48.080 --> 0:06:51.120 like he did his thing. I did my thing. And 0:06:52.200 --> 0:06:54.200 when we were when it was time to go back, 0:06:54.400 --> 0:06:56.400 I was like, I want to stay, Like, let's do this. 0:06:56.480 --> 0:06:58.800 We were both kind of working remotely, so I was 0:06:58.839 --> 0:07:01.159 like we can, like we can do this, Like we 0:07:01.160 --> 0:07:04.040 can afford to live out here, we have the time, 0:07:04.600 --> 0:07:07.279 and he wanted to be back in Ohio where he 0:07:07.360 --> 0:07:08.159 felt comfortable. 0:07:08.240 --> 0:07:09.520 Oh, he didn't like La. 0:07:09.560 --> 0:07:11.360 He liked it, but he was like, we can visit 0:07:11.400 --> 0:07:13.679 whenever we want, and I was like, I just want. 0:07:13.960 --> 0:07:16.080 I also like the Ohio. It's not just that they 0:07:16.120 --> 0:07:18.560 have winters. It's like for six months, it's like the 0:07:18.600 --> 0:07:22.360 whole sky is gray, and it's just feels it feels like, honestly, 0:07:22.400 --> 0:07:24.720 like the colors taken out of the world for a 0:07:24.720 --> 0:07:25.160 little while. 0:07:25.240 --> 0:07:27.440 Yeah, some people don't mind that I could never live 0:07:27.440 --> 0:07:29.040 in that no type of climate. 0:07:29.120 --> 0:07:30.360 You've never lived in a cold place. 0:07:30.480 --> 0:07:33.000 No, I'm a San Diego and La girl, So I've 0:07:33.040 --> 0:07:35.120 always had this life, which I love. 0:07:35.280 --> 0:07:38.280 Yeah, and it really like it affects, like seasonal depression 0:07:38.320 --> 0:07:39.840 is a very real thing. And I think it's because 0:07:39.880 --> 0:07:41.360 like when you look around and all you see is 0:07:41.400 --> 0:07:44.520 like cold and gray for months and months it's like 0:07:44.560 --> 0:07:47.560 it affects you, you know, really strongly. So when we 0:07:47.640 --> 0:07:49.480 got back, we moved out here, like I think it 0:07:49.520 --> 0:07:51.960 was in right after Christmas. We drove across the country, 0:07:51.960 --> 0:07:53.560 so we were here for like three months at the 0:07:53.600 --> 0:07:55.200 beginning of the year when it was cold back in 0:07:55.280 --> 0:07:58.000 Ohio and when we got back it was still cold, 0:07:58.040 --> 0:08:01.640 and I remember being like, I, this is not for you. Yeah, 0:08:01.680 --> 0:08:05.560 our marriage is crumbling, We're not happy, we're not in 0:08:05.600 --> 0:08:09.560 love anymore. And I'm like, I just felt like this 0:08:09.640 --> 0:08:11.760 is not I kept waking up and feeling like this 0:08:11.920 --> 0:08:13.760 is not the life I want to wake up to. 0:08:13.840 --> 0:08:15.760 Every day. I wanted to sleep all the time. 0:08:15.840 --> 0:08:18.600 I just was like, this is my feeling too. 0:08:18.760 --> 0:08:22.280 Happy, like and this is not especially like when you're young, 0:08:22.400 --> 0:08:25.640 like you're It's like, this can't be the next eighty 0:08:25.720 --> 0:08:29.000 years of my life. This can't. And you know, we 0:08:29.000 --> 0:08:33.280 were in marriage counseling. We tried everything for a year before. 0:08:33.360 --> 0:08:36.920 It was like a year of not good things happening. 0:08:37.559 --> 0:08:39.120 And I take a lot of blame for that too. 0:08:39.400 --> 0:08:42.439 My ex husband was you know, neither of us were perfect, 0:08:42.480 --> 0:08:44.920 but he wasn't a bad guy. Like I really think 0:08:44.960 --> 0:08:48.120 he's a good person deep down. And after a couple 0:08:48.200 --> 0:08:51.880 months of being home and things were just horrible. We 0:08:51.880 --> 0:08:55.320 were like staying separately, trying to kind of hide it 0:08:55.360 --> 0:08:58.319 from our friends and family that think everything's okay, we're okay, 0:08:58.480 --> 0:09:01.520 but people could start seeing the CS. I remember we 0:09:01.600 --> 0:09:04.400 like accidentally butt dialed his mom once when we were 0:09:04.440 --> 0:09:07.760 in the car screaming at each other about something, and 0:09:07.800 --> 0:09:10.520 we were like very much like like not telling our 0:09:10.559 --> 0:09:12.840 families anything that stuff was wrong. So I remember his 0:09:12.920 --> 0:09:16.240 mom being like, what, like, what is going on? Like that, 0:09:16.760 --> 0:09:19.200 I heard that whole fight, and this is like I 0:09:19.200 --> 0:09:23.280 had no idea. You guys were struggling. And I remember 0:09:23.480 --> 0:09:25.800 after a couple months, it was like starting to warm 0:09:25.880 --> 0:09:28.560 up in Columbus and summer was around the corner. And 0:09:29.320 --> 0:09:33.040 I went to my mom's house one day. And I 0:09:33.080 --> 0:09:36.440 had been avoiding my mom because we're close. She can 0:09:36.520 --> 0:09:39.240 read me, she knows when stuff's wrong. Yeah, So for 0:09:39.280 --> 0:09:41.640 like a couple weeks before this, I was like not 0:09:41.800 --> 0:09:45.360 answering her calls. She lived ten minutes away, I wasn't 0:09:45.400 --> 0:09:47.680 seeing her, I wasn't letting her come to my house. 0:09:48.200 --> 0:09:51.120 And finally I just had a full breakdown one day 0:09:51.160 --> 0:09:52.880 and I showed up at my mom's house and I 0:09:52.920 --> 0:09:56.320 had lost Like I mean, I was basically like fifteen 0:09:56.320 --> 0:09:57.760 pounds thinner than I am. 0:09:57.840 --> 0:10:00.480 Now when you're sad, you lose so much much weight. 0:10:00.559 --> 0:10:03.240 I look at pictures of me from even two three 0:10:03.320 --> 0:10:05.839 years ago. I was like, I was eating way more. 0:10:05.880 --> 0:10:09.320 I wasn't doing that much anything different, and I just 0:10:09.480 --> 0:10:12.079 naturally kept losing weight because I was unhappy. 0:10:12.120 --> 0:10:14.720 Well, I think stress, you're just like always tense, like 0:10:14.880 --> 0:10:18.200 it just it does like eat away at you. And 0:10:18.240 --> 0:10:20.120 I remember I showed up at my mom's house and 0:10:20.160 --> 0:10:21.520 she looked at me and she was like, why are 0:10:21.559 --> 0:10:24.000 you so skinny? She was like, you look sick? Are 0:10:24.040 --> 0:10:25.920 you sick? What's wrong? And I was like, can you 0:10:26.000 --> 0:10:28.840 just listen for a second. I just started bawling and 0:10:28.880 --> 0:10:30.600 I was like I'm not happy to do and she 0:10:31.080 --> 0:10:33.520 could not get over how thin I looked, and like 0:10:33.800 --> 0:10:35.920 she was like like she thought I was going to 0:10:35.960 --> 0:10:38.480 tell her that like I was dying or something, because 0:10:38.480 --> 0:10:41.840 she was just like, you look unwell and before she 0:10:42.000 --> 0:10:44.920 let me tell her like what was going on. My 0:10:45.000 --> 0:10:47.920 mom lives in like a historic part of our town, 0:10:47.960 --> 0:10:50.320 so there's all these shops right around her house. So 0:10:50.360 --> 0:10:51.960 like three doors down from my mom's house is a 0:10:52.000 --> 0:10:54.440 church and a French restaurant. So my mom and my 0:10:54.480 --> 0:10:57.560 mom is always at all these places. So she called 0:10:57.600 --> 0:10:59.320 the owner of the French restaurant. She's like, can you 0:10:59.320 --> 0:11:01.880 have somebody run down a piece of chocolate cake and 0:11:01.920 --> 0:11:05.200 a pie? And like she she made me sit there. 0:11:05.280 --> 0:11:07.000 I say, He's like, she matildaed me, you know, and 0:11:07.040 --> 0:11:09.600 they tilda when they like make. She was like, eat 0:11:09.760 --> 0:11:11.400 and then you can talk. And I'm mom did the 0:11:11.440 --> 0:11:13.960 same thing. I was like, okay, And so I'm like 0:11:14.280 --> 0:11:17.640 crying into this chocolate cake, just like it must have 0:11:17.720 --> 0:11:20.240 been the most unattractive thing anybody's ever seen. But I'm 0:11:20.280 --> 0:11:23.320 just like sobbing into this chocolate cake, just telling my mom, 0:11:23.440 --> 0:11:26.160 like I've been hiding a lot from you, this is 0:11:26.200 --> 0:11:29.280 what's been going on, And I mean, I just unloaded 0:11:29.320 --> 0:11:31.280 on her. I was like, this is the truth, this 0:11:31.360 --> 0:11:33.360 is what's been happening, this is why I need to 0:11:33.360 --> 0:11:35.280 get away, this is why we tried to move to 0:11:35.400 --> 0:11:39.360 La together. And I just told her everything, and I 0:11:39.400 --> 0:11:40.720 was like, I think I need. I was like, we 0:11:40.800 --> 0:11:43.959 keep trying to separate, but you know, he doesn't want 0:11:43.960 --> 0:11:46.920 to actually rent a place here and like fully separate. 0:11:47.000 --> 0:11:48.920 We had a three story house and so I was 0:11:48.920 --> 0:11:51.160 staying in the upstairs bedroom. He was staying in our 0:11:51.360 --> 0:11:52.280 main bedroom. 0:11:52.000 --> 0:11:53.800 Leading the house. I know what that's like. 0:11:54.120 --> 0:11:56.480 Not yeah, and it just wasn't. But we're still seeing 0:11:56.520 --> 0:11:58.440 each other and we're still fighting and we're still I'm like, 0:11:58.520 --> 0:12:00.240 I really need a break, and I feel like the 0:12:00.280 --> 0:12:02.719 only way I will get a break is if I 0:12:02.760 --> 0:12:06.920 go to California and actually put physical space between us. 0:12:07.000 --> 0:12:10.760 So I still then My mom was like, you can 0:12:11.160 --> 0:12:14.080 go for six months. She was like, but that's you 0:12:14.120 --> 0:12:17.040 need to come back then and work on things. And 0:12:17.080 --> 0:12:21.520 that was eight years ago. So I went. Right before 0:12:21.520 --> 0:12:23.280 I had gone to my mom, I had flown out 0:12:23.280 --> 0:12:25.600 here with my best friend Ali, who you've met, and 0:12:26.559 --> 0:12:28.920 we went to LA and she helped me find an 0:12:28.960 --> 0:12:31.760 apartment and I didn't tell anybody that I was doing that. 0:12:31.800 --> 0:12:34.440 We came out, I think it was Memorial weekend and 0:12:34.559 --> 0:12:37.360 we came out. I found an apartment to sublease. The 0:12:37.400 --> 0:12:40.280 next day, I met Sheena at a pool party. She 0:12:40.440 --> 0:12:44.120 was so nice to me and so welcoming and kind, 0:12:44.160 --> 0:12:45.679 and she was like one of the only other people 0:12:45.679 --> 0:12:47.840 that I knew who had gotten divorced, like in her 0:12:47.960 --> 0:12:50.679 twenties or when she was young, and so we kind 0:12:50.679 --> 0:12:53.120 of I was like, I'm it's interesting, like you can 0:12:53.160 --> 0:12:55.599 tell like strangers kind of like the truth, but you 0:12:55.600 --> 0:12:57.680 don't want to tell like your closest friends and family. 0:12:58.040 --> 0:13:00.320 So like, I hadn't said the words like I'm getting 0:13:00.360 --> 0:13:03.240 divorced to anybody other than my best friend Alli at 0:13:03.240 --> 0:13:05.800 the time. So I told she, and I was like, 0:13:05.840 --> 0:13:08.280 I'm getting divorced. I just signed a lease here. I 0:13:08.320 --> 0:13:09.920 was like, I have to go home and pack and 0:13:09.960 --> 0:13:12.280 tell my family and then I'm coming back out here, 0:13:12.360 --> 0:13:14.719 and you know what advice And she gave me all 0:13:14.760 --> 0:13:17.600 of this wonderful advice about like getting divorced and finding 0:13:17.640 --> 0:13:21.120 yourself again and everything, and we had some other things 0:13:21.120 --> 0:13:23.680 in common that were really random. So I remember I 0:13:23.720 --> 0:13:25.160 left that pool party. I was like, Wow, what a 0:13:25.200 --> 0:13:28.120 crazy experience. Because I knew her from vander Pomp. I 0:13:28.160 --> 0:13:30.880 had been a Bravo fan for a long time before that, 0:13:31.440 --> 0:13:32.959 and so I was like, that's so wild. I met 0:13:32.960 --> 0:13:35.040 Sheena Shee and she gave me divorce advice, and I 0:13:35.080 --> 0:13:37.719 remember thinking like I'll probably never see her again. And 0:13:37.840 --> 0:13:40.440 when I moved back out here, she had followed me 0:13:40.520 --> 0:13:43.760 on Instagram and she was like, you're here, like, let's 0:13:43.760 --> 0:13:46.840 hang out. And my birthday was like the weekend after 0:13:48.000 --> 0:13:50.200 I moved out here and I didn't really I knew 0:13:50.200 --> 0:13:52.200 like three people out here. I had a couple friends. 0:13:53.240 --> 0:13:56.200 Are you listening to yourself? What an incredible story. 0:13:56.320 --> 0:13:59.480 It's wild. I mean I really think, like I believe 0:13:59.480 --> 0:14:02.360 in the butterfly effect, like one moment of your life 0:14:02.440 --> 0:14:06.680 can change everything. And I think back like if Allie 0:14:06.679 --> 0:14:09.560 and I after we signed my sublease, we went to 0:14:09.600 --> 0:14:13.679 a random bar for brunch and that bartender we were like, 0:14:13.720 --> 0:14:15.439 where should we go? Is there like a pool we 0:14:15.520 --> 0:14:17.880 could hang out at? And he was like, the Madria 0:14:17.960 --> 0:14:20.560 has these epic pool parties. It's free. You can go, 0:14:20.960 --> 0:14:23.160 like you don't have to know anybody. And I was like, okay, cool. 0:14:23.200 --> 0:14:24.440 So we wandered at the Mandrin. 0:14:24.560 --> 0:14:27.080 Yeah, we wandered over there, and that Shina walks in 0:14:27.120 --> 0:14:29.360 and I'm like, oh my god, that's that girl from 0:14:29.480 --> 0:14:32.640 vander Pump And it's like, you know, I met Shina 0:14:32.680 --> 0:14:36.400 that day just because a bartender suggested to us to 0:14:36.560 --> 0:14:40.160 like go to this random pool. No, they were like, 0:14:40.160 --> 0:14:41.720 go to the Madria And if you need a cool pool. 0:14:41.760 --> 0:14:43.760 I got it. So we're sitting there, Shina walks in 0:14:43.800 --> 0:14:46.240 and I'm like, oh my gosh, like that's crazy, and 0:14:46.360 --> 0:14:48.040 we get to talking and it's like, if I wouldn't 0:14:48.040 --> 0:14:50.360 have met Sheena that day, I have no idea what 0:14:50.360 --> 0:14:52.760 my life would be like now. Like I always joke 0:14:52.800 --> 0:14:54.320 that if I write a memoir one day, it'll be 0:14:54.360 --> 0:14:56.800 called I owe my life to Shina. She because she 0:14:56.840 --> 0:14:59.200 introduced me to Jason. I wouldn't have my baby if 0:14:59.240 --> 0:15:01.880 it weren't for her, Like obviously I wouldn't have ended 0:15:01.920 --> 0:15:03.200 up in the Bravo world. 0:15:03.400 --> 0:15:05.520 I wouldn't have you. Oh, my friend, you took the 0:15:05.560 --> 0:15:09.080 first step, I mean, the strength to move from state 0:15:09.160 --> 0:15:13.000 to state at such a young age and tell yourself 0:15:13.040 --> 0:15:16.440 and get that divorce like that was I can't even 0:15:16.520 --> 0:15:18.880 imagine what you went through and how that's tough. 0:15:19.120 --> 0:15:21.120 It was tough, and our divorce, I will say, was 0:15:21.160 --> 0:15:23.480 the darkest time of my life. And we had a 0:15:23.520 --> 0:15:27.520 pretty good divorce given like the circumstances, Like we did 0:15:27.560 --> 0:15:30.560 a disillusion which is available in Ohio where you just 0:15:30.600 --> 0:15:33.400 agree on everything together. You bring the paperwork to the 0:15:33.440 --> 0:15:35.960 courts and they sign off on it and we had 0:15:36.000 --> 0:15:40.000 one meeting basically with lawyers and a judge in an 0:15:40.000 --> 0:15:43.320 office building, and that was it. And we really didn't 0:15:43.320 --> 0:15:46.800 fight over a ton of things. Like my ex husband 0:15:46.800 --> 0:15:49.320 does very well for himself, and he had started a 0:15:49.360 --> 0:15:53.840 business while we were married, and so I didn't want 0:15:53.880 --> 0:15:56.440 to touch his business. I didn't want a piece of it. 0:15:56.520 --> 0:16:00.400 I didn't want him to have to like pay me out. 0:16:00.440 --> 0:16:01.960 I didn't want him to have to close down his 0:16:02.040 --> 0:16:05.200 business and like ruin any of his what he had created. 0:16:05.240 --> 0:16:07.880 I was like, we split, we sold our house, split 0:16:07.920 --> 0:16:10.760 whatever we made off of it evenly, and both walked away. 0:16:11.000 --> 0:16:13.600 Like see, I think exactly like you, and I feel 0:16:13.600 --> 0:16:16.560 like I'm the easiest person. I don't want anything. I 0:16:16.560 --> 0:16:19.520 think everything that we have should be split fifty to 0:16:19.560 --> 0:16:22.800 fifty and call it a day. It's like, it shouldn't 0:16:22.840 --> 0:16:24.760 be that difficult. 0:16:24.200 --> 0:16:26.520 It should be easy, but it should. When you get 0:16:26.560 --> 0:16:30.920 emotions and egos involved, it just becomes something completely different. 0:16:31.080 --> 0:16:32.560 Unfortunately for a lot of people. 0:16:32.720 --> 0:16:35.520 I just saw a TikTok of this lawyer that I love, 0:16:35.680 --> 0:16:38.480 and he was like one of the hardest things I 0:16:38.520 --> 0:16:41.520 had to go through that took years. At the very end, 0:16:42.040 --> 0:16:44.520 it was like everybody was ready to sign off, and 0:16:44.560 --> 0:16:48.160 they fought over a toaster and that was the real 0:16:48.240 --> 0:16:50.840 reason why they couldn't get divorced. And there was like 0:16:50.920 --> 0:16:54.160 millions of dollars at stake and they wouldn't sign the 0:16:54.200 --> 0:16:57.360 agreement because one party wanted a toaster. And I'm like, 0:16:57.760 --> 0:17:00.720 that's how I feel, that's my is going. 0:17:00.880 --> 0:17:02.680 It's when people want to stick it to the other 0:17:02.840 --> 0:17:05.639 that really like gets it. And I feel like there's 0:17:05.680 --> 0:17:08.480 a kind of couple different types of divorce. It's either 0:17:08.560 --> 0:17:11.560 like an angry divorce or a sad divorce. And we 0:17:11.600 --> 0:17:14.240 had a lot of anger, like in my divorce, so 0:17:14.400 --> 0:17:19.080 not okay, like and like, but then our anger kind 0:17:19.080 --> 0:17:21.399 of went away and we both were like sad about 0:17:21.400 --> 0:17:23.720 it and kind of like after we went to the 0:17:24.680 --> 0:17:27.960 like lawyer's office and signed our disilusion stuff, he was like, 0:17:28.000 --> 0:17:29.560 you want to go get breakfast and I was like, 0:17:29.640 --> 0:17:31.320 I actually would really liked that, and we sat at 0:17:31.359 --> 0:17:33.919 breakfast together and we cried and we were like. He 0:17:34.000 --> 0:17:35.639 was like, I wish you the best. I want you 0:17:35.680 --> 0:17:39.000 to like fall in love again and find happiness, and 0:17:39.040 --> 0:17:41.400