Speaker 1: Forever.
Speaker 2: Hello, Hello, hey friend, we hear woop woop belover that
Speaker 2: ass too fat, wool, that ass too fat.
Speaker 3: And my ass is getting fat.
Speaker 4: Whoop whoop it is And it's crazy because I'm not
Speaker 4: really eating. Okay, that's a weird brag. I'm not.
Speaker 5: I mean my appetite has been strange.
Speaker 4: Oh what that means? I don't know.
Speaker 3: I with child, I am not.
Speaker 4: You know that I would have to do so much
Speaker 4: extra legwork just to get something like that inside you.
Speaker 5: Maybe you do no legworks. You could lay on your back, baby.
Speaker 4: No, honey, I gotta get that turkey based would you
Speaker 4: do that?
Speaker 2: Would you get if you wanted to have a baby,
Speaker 2: Would you go to like a friend to do it?
Speaker 2: Or would you go to like a bank.
Speaker 4: I don't have any male friends, And I'm like, I
Speaker 4: need that background track. I need to know what's going
Speaker 4: on because you don't tell me everything it's true. And
Speaker 4: then and then I'm going to see the consistency of
Speaker 4: your your stuff and it's like I don't trust you know,
Speaker 4: And then I'm like, like a.
Speaker 5: Little dish, it's not gonna be like in your fingers.
Speaker 4: See, you can tell a lot by a man by
Speaker 4: the way his jiz comes out.
Speaker 2: Okay, so what so what are we grinding on the
Speaker 2: wateriness of it?
Speaker 4: It got to be thick to be good or thick
Speaker 4: me's bad. Like what are we saying whenever I've gotten pregnant,
Speaker 4: Every time that I've ever been pregnant, the chis has
Speaker 4: been thin, middle a something in the middle.
Speaker 3: I mean, Sydney, I don't even know what.
Speaker 4: But whenever it's been like, you know, thicker, we start
Speaker 4: dyet is terrible.
Speaker 3: Nigga ain't got no job.
Speaker 4: It's just like there's a lack of fiber, yeah, and
Speaker 4: a lack of finance.
Speaker 3: The sperms just coming out like oh we just.
Speaker 4: Hole some ashy, just crusty. Then anybody got a dollar
Speaker 4: to borrow.
Speaker 3: That's how the sperms didn't come out.
Speaker 4: But like, excuse me, ladies and jail, they're doing showtime,
Speaker 4: Ye showtime on my back ale air mattress.
Speaker 3: Dick. Okay, I see it gross yeah discussed speaking of Dick.
Speaker 2: That's kind of what I was an expert in this week,
Speaker 2: is just knowing when it was enough.
Speaker 3: You know, I had a male, a gentleman caller.
Speaker 2: I had a lover come see me because I was
Speaker 2: like right around the time I was ready to change
Speaker 2: my sheet.
Speaker 4: So I was like, oh, he can come over. Yeah,
Speaker 4: And this guy came over and it was fun.
Speaker 3: You know, we have a good time.
Speaker 2: But he's one of these people that's all about rounds,
Speaker 2: you know, Like I thought we both finished, you know,
Speaker 2: we had a good time. Hours had passed, you know,
Speaker 2: like think a montage of like a camera, I'm a
Speaker 2: clock going really fast, think about that.
Speaker 5: And he was like, all right, you ready. I was
Speaker 5: like ready to go to sleep and he.
Speaker 2: Was because I literally had napped for maybe fifteen twenty minutes.
Speaker 2: And he was like you ready, And I was like
Speaker 2: four and he was like round three. And I was like, ah,
Speaker 2: you have to go home.
Speaker 4: You have to leave, you have to go.
Speaker 2: And he was like what And he's like what do
Speaker 2: you mean? And I was like, he was like, what
Speaker 2: time is it. I was like, Alexa, what time is it?
Speaker 2: She said four thirty.
Speaker 3: I said, you have to leave.
Speaker 4: I'm not doing this with you into the morning. It's
Speaker 4: already the morning.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 4: And he still didn't leave my house until six o'clock
Speaker 4: in the morning because left he got another round in.
Speaker 4: I mean, you know, he was ready to Yeah, yeah,
Speaker 4: did he change it up for like the I mean
Speaker 4: it was listen, it was a lot was happening in
Speaker 4: all the rounds, you know, just to know that I
Speaker 4: was fulfilled, you know, and.
Speaker 3: Change why she gets it? So, yeah, it's fine. But
Speaker 3: made him leave.
Speaker 4: He had to leave good because.
Speaker 3: I was done.
Speaker 4: I got what I needed. He don't pay your rent
Speaker 4: to be doing rounds, right, hear that? He was like, well,
Speaker 4: let me tell you. If you want to get rounds in,
Speaker 4: I'm gonna need you to put some money on this rent,
Speaker 4: at least electricity.
Speaker 3: You sound crazy right now. You sound like an old blacky.
Speaker 3: You're a fuck.
Speaker 4: You sound like a pimp. Let me tell you every
Speaker 4: on I know, the bills is paid, the water is.
Speaker 3: On, Sydney. My bills are paid and the water is on.
Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah, but you know I do that. You know what,
Speaker 4: you would have no problem doing more rounds if Nigga
Speaker 4: was at least bringing in a sandwich and whatnot.
Speaker 2: Well, I was like, well, what are you about to do?
Speaker 2: He was like, oh im probably gonna go home and
Speaker 2: make some breakfast. I was like, you can make me breakfast.
Speaker 4: He was like, you just kick me out and I
Speaker 4: was like yeah, Also, I had a roommate. You can't
Speaker 4: be butt naggad in my kitchen making pancakes. She also
Speaker 4: gonna want to eat. He should have brought the food
Speaker 4: with him. He should have had some groceries over. He
Speaker 4: should have hit up Trader Joe's, got them little thin
Speaker 4: pizzas with a little ham and cheese on it. It's
Speaker 4: the delivery service that sends groceries to you Instacart. He
Speaker 4: should have instacarted some food. Yeah, absolutely for rounds. Absolutely,
Speaker 4: round three. I'm hungry now, mm hmm.
Speaker 3: And food. There you go. What were you an expert
Speaker 3: in this week? Friend?
Speaker 4: Ah, mine's just not as exciting as yours. It's about
Speaker 4: telling Uber drivers about themselves. She's letting them know like
Speaker 4: I'm sorry, sorry, I know this is a service and
Speaker 4: you think that you're doing me a favor, but your
Speaker 4: car literally smells like du.
Speaker 5: Yeah, but when what happens. I rolled the window down.
Speaker 3: I rolled the way.
Speaker 4: I had my head out of the fucking car like
Speaker 4: a dog. That's how bad it was. And I was like, sir,
Speaker 4: I don't know who was here before me. I don't
Speaker 4: know if it's you, but this is just unbearable. What
Speaker 4: did it smelled like feet. Did it smell like No,
Speaker 4: it smelled like open ass, like you, like an ass
Speaker 4: that's been in a summer day and a pair of
Speaker 4: a pair of tight denims shorts. Just it thanks so
Speaker 4: bad and my nose, the hares literally lit my nostrils.
Speaker 4: And it was like, girl, you can get home, but
Speaker 4: we're gonna walk. That's how bad it smelled in there.
Speaker 3: So do you think it was him?
Speaker 4: I don't know, but I was just like, sir, you
Speaker 4: don't have that little tree.
Speaker 3: With the scent or anything like that, Like what is this? Listen?
Speaker 2: A good uber driver has like six of them little
Speaker 2: trees in their car, right, a bunch of them on
Speaker 2: the little rear.
Speaker 4: View thing and then they have the twisty top renews
Speaker 4: it or whatever. You know what I'm talking about.
Speaker 1: I feel like they're overcompensating at that point.
Speaker 2: Yeah, no, I need all of that, okay, because I
Speaker 2: don't want to I don't want to smell butt for
Speaker 2: twelve dollars.
Speaker 4: No it was. It was more than twelve dollars this ride.
Speaker 4: And it just was like, sir, how are you sitting
Speaker 4: in it? And when I got in the car, the
Speaker 4: windows was rolled all the way up. Every single window
Speaker 4: was up and there was no ac on. He was
Speaker 4: trying a hot box. Oh my god, you sist. You
Speaker 4: step into his office and the funk it's just his
Speaker 4: that's his studio, syst that's his office.
Speaker 3: It was funk defune. It was too funky in there.
Speaker 4: And I was like, I'm sorry, I'm not asking for
Speaker 4: a lot.
Speaker 3: I'm asking for this.
Speaker 4: To be a pleasant ride, a ride that it's just manageable,
Speaker 4: and it was not. And the guy was just like,
Speaker 4: I don't know what you're talking about. And it was like, sir,
Speaker 4: does your.
Speaker 3: Nose not work?
Speaker 6: Well?
Speaker 4: That's you know how scent works.
Speaker 2: Once you get you used to a scent, you don't
Speaker 2: smell it anymore, no matter how bad the smell is.
Speaker 2: But if you try to fight smell it it, you're
Speaker 2: always gonna smell it, isn't that That's how set work.
Speaker 4: It was a twenty minute ride. The funk did not
Speaker 4: leave well, kept trying. I took my clothes off and
Speaker 4: burn them. That's how bad it's. I knew that the
Speaker 4: smell was seeping into my fucking scalp.
Speaker 3: That's how it bridis.
Speaker 4: And I told him, I said, you're getting one star.
Speaker 4: I just want you to know this. This is not sanitary.
Speaker 4: I don't know if there's buns underneath your your seats, buns, buns,
Speaker 4: ass just straight up ass s, pork buns, buns, buns, assholes.
Speaker 5: People's bodies was underneath his head?
Speaker 4: Yeah, what kind of girl?
Speaker 3: If somebody took a ship. I don't know.
Speaker 4: It was gross when I told him, because usually I
Speaker 4: just hold it in and I'm like, oh, you know,
Speaker 4: maybe he's having a crazy day.
Speaker 3: But I said, sir, this is gross. I was like,
Speaker 3: do you not smell that?
Speaker 2: He's like what he's been in that funky car all day?
Speaker 2: Of course he doesn't smell it.
Speaker 4: And the person next to me was like, do you
Speaker 4: smell what the rock is cook?
Speaker 3: I was like, this is not funny, this is sad.
Speaker 3: It was the person sitting next to you smell that. No,
Speaker 3: They're like, do you smell the body's in my duffel bag?
Speaker 3: That's what they were saying.
Speaker 5: I'm tired of you natural deodorant people.
Speaker 4: I'm tired of you people who don't feel like taking
Speaker 4: a shower, like only every other three days. You're fucking disgusting.
Speaker 2: Every other three days, every other three days on three
Speaker 2: days off.
Speaker 4: Yeah, it's gotta be. It's like, oh, you you ran
Speaker 4: around in the streets. You smell like the fucking streets,
Speaker 4: and now you're in an uberpool fucking our car up,
Speaker 4: it's our car. And then if the if the driver
Speaker 4: smells on top of that, and then you got nerves
Speaker 4: a lot of angry heir to have, like what is
Speaker 4: that a beef patty with cheese that you have on you.
Speaker 1: Lunch?
Speaker 4: Since I'm on lunch, I do lift uber Villa and Juno,
Speaker 4: I don't have time to step out and eat something.
Speaker 4: A sizzling Faeta latter would be nice, But the time
Speaker 4: for is this big bat who wants to eat with
Speaker 4: that type of smell all up and through the smells
Speaker 4: what makes the food taste? But speaking of food tasting better,
Speaker 4: speaking of somebody smelling delicious, our guest today smells like
Speaker 4: he worked a nine to five. Okay, maybe perhaps I
Speaker 4: hope so he was late to the podcast, Yeah, I.
Speaker 3: Hope it was work related. I was a little bit late.
Speaker 4: I was like a tiny bit, don't speak until too.
Speaker 4: Let us let's let's int come on, let's let's let
Speaker 4: us don't slide it in.
Speaker 3: You got your corduroy jacket.
Speaker 4: All you're feeling fresh, We are unprepared for you. How
Speaker 4: you look it all cute and whatnot. But hold your horses,
Speaker 4: bring them on.
Speaker 2: And he's in a mood today. Man, he's a super
Speaker 2: funny comedian. We freaking love him. He's dressed impeccably for
Speaker 2: the podcast today. I mean, our finest dressed straight man
Speaker 2: that we've had in a while.
Speaker 5: Yeah, the last one, I think. I don't what shorts.
Speaker 5: You can catch him on Comedy Central.
Speaker 4: He's got a monthly show called Dad's at the Jane Hotel.
Speaker 4: Absolutely give it up for our reformed ho expert expert
Speaker 4: Devin Walker.
Speaker 3: Hey, Devin, Oh, don't come in here all coy? Now
Speaker 3: before what was good? Y'all was acting like I was
Speaker 3: extra late? I was a little bit late.
Speaker 5: You were that way because I gotta leave like I got.
Speaker 3: A heart out.
Speaker 4: You gotta okay?
Speaker 3: It was?
Speaker 4: I feel like that's like a good comedian late.
Speaker 5: I'm not here, not a podcast.
Speaker 3: I'm sorry.
Speaker 4: You usually do podcasts at people's dusty studios apartments.
Speaker 5: This is a real studio. We gotta pay for time.
Speaker 3: Actually don't even know how this works.
Speaker 5: I could get my little chick and be like, is
Speaker 5: this how much we worked?
Speaker 3: Yeah?
Speaker 7: Wait, who is your who is your other best dressed
Speaker 7: straight mail comedian?
Speaker 5: Oh no, I said you are the best straight mail
Speaker 5: comedian dress that we've had.
Speaker 4: On the podcast so far. Wow, you don't usually have
Speaker 4: on the podcast. Yeah, we don't really do that. That's
Speaker 4: not really our brand.
Speaker 7: So I'm doubly well, I guess no, I'm honored, Thank
Speaker 7: you apprecition.
Speaker 2: We would have printed our certificates, but I don't have
Speaker 2: a printer. So yeah, and this one they got no ink.
Speaker 2: So let's give everybody listening the visual of you head
Speaker 2: to toe you're giving us.
Speaker 3: Let me see your shoes, your sneakers.
Speaker 4: Devin is wearing sneakers that a black man that dates
Speaker 4: white women wear.
Speaker 3: That's what he's got on.
Speaker 5: No, yes, no, you've nominated a white woman.
Speaker 3: Of course I have. But that's not that's not what
Speaker 3: these sneakers. What are the sneakers? Are these sneakers? These
Speaker 3: are just these everybody got. These are the city sneakers.
Speaker 3: These are air Max ninety seven's okay, but they're very dirty.
Speaker 7: So they dirty right now, you know, But it's like
Speaker 7: it's been I had them for a minute, you know.
Speaker 3: They and he said they vintaged this. Hush. Now are
Speaker 3: you wearing a dress pant? Very nice pants. He's wearing an.
Speaker 4: It's like a yes, like a unique clothes right, like
Speaker 4: an athleisurey, like a cropped trouser, a cropped trouser. That's
Speaker 4: go on up to the top. Now, your hair looks
Speaker 4: so good. It's very moisturized.
Speaker 7: That's not what I thought, y'all was about to roast.
Speaker 7: As soon as you got up there, I was like, Okay.
Speaker 2: She's because she skipped the corduroy jackets, which is really
Speaker 2: the biggest it's a quarteruroyd.
Speaker 4: But I just want the people to know without the jacket,
Speaker 4: you are still a man, a hot one. Thank you
Speaker 4: for saying that.
Speaker 3: Yeah, how to you?
Speaker 4: I'm six foot three.
Speaker 5: Okay, and that's how.
Speaker 3: Babe.
Speaker 4: Okay, So Devin, you are a reformed hoe expert.
Speaker 2: Tell people what a hope it means to you. Oh,
Speaker 2: because it's a different definition for most people. For me,
Speaker 2: I have like real like whole phases.
Speaker 7: For me, it's like it's like a let's say, like
Speaker 7: a three month stretch while I like really really be
Speaker 7: out there.
Speaker 3: So it's like three months I mean, I feel like
Speaker 3: you want to know a whole period right now?
Speaker 4: How long don't talk about her business? Were talking about
Speaker 4: you into it? Yeah?
Speaker 5: He said, you call me on an off month, right,
Speaker 5: chilling right now?
Speaker 4: Yeah.
Speaker 5: But I'm just saying to you, what is the word
Speaker 5: home means?
Speaker 2: Because some people think this this, this means being a hoe,
Speaker 2: but other people think, no, that's just you know, I'm
Speaker 2: just out here.
Speaker 7: I think to me, being a whole means having let's
Speaker 7: say at least three people that you're sleeping with, like
Speaker 7: on a regular basis.
Speaker 5: Ah, okay, so that I'm not a hoe. I only
Speaker 5: have two you were only one when you were abroad.
Speaker 7: Yes, yeah, right yeah, And I've had a couple like
Speaker 7: real hope phases.
Speaker 4: Like in my life.
Speaker 7: It's like two main ones and one of them like
Speaker 7: I just came out of like earlier this year.
Speaker 2: Okay, So, so can you just talk to us a
Speaker 2: little bit about like your dating history because you're cute
Speaker 2: and tall. Now, but were you attractive as a kid?
Speaker 2: Did you have a lot of girlfriends?
Speaker 4: Well, he used to live in You're from Texas rights
Speaker 4: and I saw your pictures you know, when you were there,
Speaker 4: and you know you're there what.
Speaker 3: You're I feel like you lost weight, right, you.
Speaker 4: Were probably you were bigger. Probably Sney said you big. No,
Speaker 4: I'm a big I'm a thick man.
Speaker 3: Because it's still Lostaita.
Speaker 4: Was pulling it at a smooth you know, six three,
Speaker 4: two thirty to thirty, big thirty.
Speaker 1: Andrew, how you weigh I made like one hundred and forty.
Speaker 3: Weigh one hundred and thirty. What do you say?
Speaker 2: What do you Where is the one hundred and twenty
Speaker 2: five pounds that it's must'ad.
Speaker 3: You talk about it?
Speaker 4: One thirteen.
Speaker 5: Well, that's not what I am. I'm one twenty so okay.
Speaker 2: Well, and Sydney has bigger butt than me. Yeah, but
Speaker 2: muscle said, yeah, talk about it, Andrew. One hundred and
Speaker 2: forty pounds.
Speaker 1: I know we're in the same height almost yeah, yeah
Speaker 1: two you're six.
Speaker 4: Three, Yeah, you still got like one hundred pounds on you.
Speaker 4: Being emostally unavailable weighs more so that's heavy.
Speaker 7: I don't know, that's a big I think that's a
Speaker 7: big part of my weight. I think that's probably what
Speaker 7: differentiates me Andrew. It's just it's just being emostally unavailable.
Speaker 3: I love that.
Speaker 4: It really doesn't because I feel like you're like you're
Speaker 4: like a John B type.
Speaker 3: What is it?
Speaker 4: I don't think about what people say.
Speaker 3: They don't know about about you and me.
Speaker 4: I'm trying to figure it out.
Speaker 7: I feel like since moving here, I've been I've been
Speaker 7: on do I need to be closer like that?
Speaker 4: Yeah?
Speaker 5: People want to hear your your power after hour?
Speaker 3: That is I am trying.
Speaker 4: This is not how I usually I'm doing a smooth
Speaker 4: voice and how I see you putting it on prop stop. Yeah,
Speaker 4: he trying to be in the hoteltion. No, I don't
Speaker 4: died comedians. Yeah, I don't you hear that? She said
Speaker 4: she doesn't date comedians, but he's a comedian. She was,
Speaker 4: but she could have been like, I don't date ugly people.
Speaker 4: I mean attractive to me.
Speaker 7: So you know, you know what like during my peak,
Speaker 7: like during my New York Fes. I remember remember we
Speaker 7: did that show with romy at Union Hall and one
Speaker 7: time it was a bunch of us. Gary was over there,
Speaker 7: like it was a bunch of us chilling, and I
Speaker 7: asked about you twice.
Speaker 3: I haven't you asked about me? I did? What did
Speaker 3: you say?
Speaker 4: I did?
Speaker 3: I asked about you? I sked about you?
Speaker 4: To two different people. I was gonna bring this other
Speaker 4: part up.
Speaker 3: Yeah, bring it up now.
Speaker 4: This is okay, thank you.
Speaker 3: This is messy. I love it. That's not messy. I'm
Speaker 3: so curious. What did you say? Basically we were talking about.
Speaker 3: I think we were talking.
Speaker 4: About like like like like if.
Speaker 3: We have like a type that we like gravitate.
Speaker 4: Yeah, it was mean, is Marie here?
Speaker 3: And I think Marie is Syney brought Marie's name up?
Speaker 4: No?
Speaker 3: No, no, no, no, was it? Did I just do it?
Speaker 4: Okay? Yeah?
Speaker 3: Then in that case, in that case, Marie, I didn't remember.
Speaker 7: This was like this like January February. And at this
Speaker 7: point I was like, I was like, I was like,
Speaker 7: what about Marie? She got a type and Senny goes
Speaker 7: not comedians, I was.
Speaker 4: I was like, not comedians, that's my friend, nigga, that's
Speaker 4: I'm aggressive.
Speaker 3: But that is true. No, that's true.
Speaker 4: I haven't. I haven't hooked up any comedians here in
Speaker 4: New York. But you have before?
Speaker 3: Is that your final answer? It is no, that's that's true.
Speaker 3: Well we haven't. We have a transaction from somebody. Somebody
Speaker 3: slid these screens.
Speaker 4: You were going to be on the pod telling your business,
Speaker 4: and they were like, well, I rebuked that. No, I've
Speaker 4: not I've not had sex with one comedian in New
Speaker 4: York City. I'm proud of you want to have sex
Speaker 4: with a comedian at all. People do it all the
Speaker 4: time because they don't care about their career. It's not
Speaker 4: about me.
Speaker 5: I mean most of the people that that were okay, well.
Speaker 3: I'm just yeah, well have you you've never done it?
Speaker 3: You ever done it? I will not do it.
Speaker 7: I mean it's for the best. You Also, you started
Speaker 7: here too, which I feel like that's the move.
Speaker 3: It's like taking a dump at work. Well, well, your
Speaker 3: girl didn't ship all over the place.
Speaker 4: It's on the walls.
Speaker 3: I didn't ship. I didn't ship and then had a
Speaker 3: poop platter. Right, you got to you gotta put up.
Speaker 7: You gotta put that maintenance sign on, you know, like
Speaker 7: you know, sometimes when somebody do a real bad ship,
Speaker 7: they just got to put a sign up in front
Speaker 7: of just being like toilet.
Speaker 3: You gotta cut this off. It's clocked her up. She's
Speaker 3: with women now. Yeah, thanks Marie, You're such a great friend.
Speaker 4: Thanks. So wait, you were in you were in Texas, Austin.
Speaker 4: Were you in Texas dating a lot of people different times,
Speaker 4: So like I was real. So you asked, like what
Speaker 4: I was like when I was young? Yeah, yeah, when
Speaker 4: I was young. Nothing.
Speaker 5: Apparently, according to Sydney, you were kind of fat.
Speaker 3: Apparently apparently. I mean that is right, Andrew.
Speaker 7: She's also not backing off it either. She's also she's
Speaker 7: not like, oh no, Devin like you. She's like you,
Speaker 7: she said, She's like, not go ahead on that. Look
Speaker 7: look at her face right now.
Speaker 3: I gave you so many compliments. You did?
Speaker 4: You did?
Speaker 3: I basically threw myself at you. I mean you should
Speaker 3: have seen what she did with you.
Speaker 4: Who she thought herself had more? Me or you do?
Speaker 3: I mean, she tried to kiss your door. Yet she
Speaker 3: had tried to kiss you. You tried to kiss you.
Speaker 4: I was in a relapse. I was blackout. I didn't
Speaker 4: even know what country years ago?
Speaker 8: Is this.
Speaker 3: Two years ago?
Speaker 7: Oh okay, so that was not that long. I thought
Speaker 7: it was like like back back, but.
Speaker 4: I just found out about it like a month ago.
Speaker 4: So that's why I'm bringing it up. Do Yeah, I
Speaker 4: can see it. I get a heat tall. I have standards,
Speaker 4: you know, I mean, that's your standard. No, it's actually not.
Speaker 4: I don't know.
Speaker 3: I was going through some I.
Speaker 4: Don't know what your male standard is. I know about
Speaker 4: the kind of women you like, really know about the
Speaker 4: kind of women. We just like what you look like.
Speaker 3: Oh, that's what we're gonna do. I didn't. That's fine.
Speaker 3: We can talk about my background.
Speaker 4: Yeah, okay, so yes, when did you Okay, so when
Speaker 4: did you lose your virginity? Let's just do that.
Speaker 3: Yeah, let's talk about that.
Speaker 8: I was.
Speaker 3: I was eighteen. Wow, Okay, yeah, I was eighteen. I
Speaker 3: was real.
Speaker 4: I are you saying? Wow?
Speaker 3: I feel like that's normal. Nos. Mine on my eighteenth birthday.
Speaker 7: I like, yeah, I like just turned eighteen. Yeah, eighteen
Speaker 7: for like a few weeks.
Speaker 5: That's what people who got their parents in their life.
Speaker 4: Yeah, that's that's a mother and father house. Okay, they're
Speaker 4: still together. Yeah, no, mine are still together.
Speaker 7: Actually, my parents went up when I was like sixteen. Okay,
Speaker 7: so you know, but I got, like, you know, I
Speaker 7: got the important years out there, the childhood.
Speaker 2: They both came to graduation exactly. You used to go
Speaker 2: to the parenting conferences to.
Speaker 4: Get together, you know, even out today's split anyway, Yeah, anyway, Yeah,
Speaker 4: I was.
Speaker 7: I was scared of I was scared of girls. Like
Speaker 7: growing up, I was very like I was nervous about rejection.
Speaker 7: I was very like worried about.
Speaker 5: Like what I mean, is it Meghan the Stallion from Texas.
Speaker 4: She's from Houston.
Speaker 3: I mean, is that where you're from? From Austin.
Speaker 5: What's the difference between Austin and Houston.
Speaker 4: Houston's way better, sit way bigger city.
Speaker 2: I feel Houston is where all the attractive bearded black
Speaker 2: folks are and the mean the Stallions. And then I
Speaker 2: feel like Austin is where like the white people who
Speaker 2: like music live.
Speaker 4: You're not wrong, You're not You're not wrong about that.
Speaker 7: But it's like Austin, Austin has a lot of like
Speaker 7: black and brown people.
Speaker 3: But they all got pushed out, they all put like
Speaker 3: that because that's the new Williamsburg.
Speaker 7: Exactly, exactly, exactly exactly, Austin is like Williamsburg. Austin right
Speaker 7: now is like Williamsburg what I imagine it was like
Speaker 7: ten years ago, right, Like that's what that's what Austin.
Speaker 4: Just start the beginnings of exactly.
Speaker 7: But like when I was a kid, like so I
Speaker 7: grew up in the suburb and whenever I was like
Speaker 7: eight or nine. My dad was worried. He was like,
Speaker 7: it ain't that many black people in the neighborhood. I'm concerned.
Speaker 7: So then he put me like in like the like
Speaker 7: the east Side used to be like all the black
Speaker 7: and brown people. So every summer I would go to
Speaker 7: summer camp on the east Side.
Speaker 4: Look at your dad.
Speaker 3: Yeah, Reggie sound thick. Uh my dad skinny?
Speaker 5: I feel like a skinny. Yeah, we only know chubby.
Speaker 4: Shout out to Reggie Conquest, Baby, I'm here for you.
Speaker 3: Thomas also a little chubby man y.
Speaker 7: Yeah, my dad, my dad skinny is health. I get
Speaker 7: my mom that thicks out of the family.
Speaker 5: Okay, but your dad can like grill like meats and stuff.
Speaker 3: You know it.
Speaker 7: You can't be named Reggie and I'll be able to
Speaker 7: grill as you from Texas exactly, and you can't grill. Yeah,
Speaker 7: come on, you got to get the big grill. You
Speaker 7: gotta put the ribs on. You got to have your
Speaker 7: own special secret thing that's not even really that secret.
Speaker 7: You gotta do it, man. You got that from the
Speaker 7: local store we all got access to.
Speaker 5: It's a Costco blend, but also through miss Dash exactly.
Speaker 4: Is that how you lost your virginity talking about your
Speaker 4: dad's sauce, Like, how did that happen?
Speaker 3: Let's real that back in.
Speaker 7: Okay, yeah, okay, me me losing my virginity story was
Speaker 7: this girl. So my best friend growing up had had
Speaker 7: a girlfriend and she had a twin sister, and so
Speaker 7: I lost my virginity to this girl. And so like
Speaker 7: over the course, like over the course of like two years,
Speaker 7: we used to like kick it for a little bit
Speaker 7: and then she would ghost me.
Speaker 3: She did it like multiple times. You guys were the
Speaker 3: same age, Yeah, yeah, we're.
Speaker 4: In the same grade.
Speaker 7: But she went to like it was like three high
Speaker 7: schools in the area. She went to one of the
Speaker 7: other ones, and she.
Speaker 5: Would ghost you and you would just see her like
Speaker 5: randomly at the park.
Speaker 3: Yeah, we just like bump into each other.
Speaker 7: She just act like nothing happened, and it was left
Speaker 7: that it was like my it's like my best friend's
Speaker 7: girlfriend's sister.
Speaker 4: So it's like hot, like so many degrees and separation. Yeah,
Speaker 4: so we like be at the same stuff a lot.
Speaker 3: Yeah. Yeah, Like that's a modern woman right there.
Speaker 4: Yeah, she would.
Speaker 3: Ghost me and then just pretend like nothing happened. She's
Speaker 3: an actress.
Speaker 7: This girl she had, Uh, this girl she had like
Speaker 7: a full time job even though we were in high school.
Speaker 3: Wait what Yeah, she like she was trying to make
Speaker 3: it out.
Speaker 7: She she she had the eve pawprint tattoos.
Speaker 5: Na did her twin sister have the same tattoo?
Speaker 3: She was a good sister, the one that he blew
Speaker 3: his back out.
Speaker 4: Yeah, I.
Speaker 3: Fucked the bad news system. Yes, that's what we like.
Speaker 7: I love that other one had like a scholarship, she
Speaker 7: like went to school. She was like playing sports and
Speaker 7: all that.
Speaker 3: I was fun. I was with the fuck up.
Speaker 5: That's not who you want to lose your virginity too,
Speaker 5: That's true.
Speaker 4: Yeah, No, she's gonna be judging the technique.
Speaker 3: Yeah, that's not the move.
Speaker 5: She's gonna want somebody with a paw print who could
Speaker 5: make herself come.
Speaker 3: Okay, you don't even really need to beat it.
Speaker 4: Yeah.
Speaker 3: I wasn't ready your eyes.
Speaker 7: One ready, bro. She had been in the game for
Speaker 7: a minute. She was in a game for a good
Speaker 7: little minute. Like my best friends, like my homies a
Speaker 7: lost virginity when they're like like fourteen fifteen. So I
Speaker 7: was like, I was way behind the pack, and she
Speaker 7: was kind of she's leading.
Speaker 3: She was leading it.
Speaker 4: She was she was leading the trut your friends. Yeah,
Speaker 4: she was out in the front of the hu. I
Speaker 4: love her, we love her. What's her name, Megan? He said,
Speaker 4: you're not about to get me. He said, like.
Speaker 3: People, people from a hometown go listen to this.
Speaker 2: They know, well, we love her, we love that. She
Speaker 2: ghosted you. That's a modern woman.
Speaker 3: Hashtat goal.
Speaker 7: But damn way that happened? Okay, how I actually lost it?
Speaker 7: She had ghost me a couple of times, and then she
Speaker 7: was like my girlfriend for like a cool little minute,
Speaker 7: for like two months, which is like a long time
Speaker 7: in high school. He's my girlfriend, and then she she
Speaker 7: did she ghosted again. It was like we had like
Speaker 7: done a little Valentine's.
Speaker 3: Day day thing and everything. What did you do for
Speaker 3: Valentine's do We went to like a little Italian spot.
Speaker 7: Yeah, a little olived exactly exactly, little local Italian spot.
Speaker 3: We cruise over there. We like, I like watched a
Speaker 3: movie like her dad's.
Speaker 4: Like her dad's apart, her dad's apartment, Yeah, because you know.
Speaker 3: In Austin her parents was divorced. Yeah, I was like
Speaker 3: an apartment in Austin.
Speaker 4: That sounds well, remember Zach t did our podcast and
Speaker 4: it's the Divorce Expert.
Speaker 5: His dad had an apartment in Texas.
Speaker 3: All that's right because he was going through a divorce.
Speaker 4: They got apartments in Texas when I.
Speaker 3: Not getting a home home right on a ranch.
Speaker 7: Yeah, like when I was when I was growing up,
Speaker 7: I thought, like I remember when I was little, like
Speaker 7: I found out this girl I was in school with
Speaker 7: like lives in an apartment.
Speaker 4: I was like, oh, y'all struggling.
Speaker 3: Right in New York.
Speaker 2: If you have an apartment, that's a norm everybody the right,
Speaker 2: That's that's how we live. But I think when I
Speaker 2: think the suburbs and other places in the in the country,
Speaker 2: I think you should have a house with a yard
Speaker 2: and a mailbox that you got to walk to.
Speaker 4: Yeah.
Speaker 3: That was pretty much. Yeah, that was pretty that's pretty much.
Speaker 4: Very great. You got an apartment, y'all struggling. Yeah, we're
Speaker 4: laughing at poor people. Hilarious.
Speaker 3: Back, I mean, I feel like that's a big part
Speaker 3: of the podcast. Yeah, I mean that's what we do here. Okay,
Speaker 3: So just like the apartment.
Speaker 7: So then no, no, no, we we had done like
Speaker 7: a Valentine's dayDay thing whatever whatever. Uh my birthday is
Speaker 7: the day before Valentine's Day, so like it's like, yeah.
Speaker 3: It's a lot. I would give you a two for
Speaker 3: one for sure. I wouldn't.
Speaker 7: It happens all the time, and I'm cool with I
Speaker 7: don't care about Valentine Day like that. Just give me,
Speaker 7: you know, give me some of my birthday anyway, he.
Speaker 3: Said, giving some.
Speaker 4: Yeah, it's shaped in a hard shaped box. Were good, good,
Speaker 4: you get it.
Speaker 3: I get it.
Speaker 7: And then she ghosted me. We was like together a
Speaker 7: couple of weeks after Valentine's Day. She just disappeared, like
Speaker 7: she just stopped her of my text calls.
Speaker 4: Whatever.
Speaker 3: It's busy working.
Speaker 4: She had seven jobs and you were calling her before
Speaker 4: nine then before the hours kicked in before before them
Speaker 4: three minutes exactly.
Speaker 7: And then I seen on my Space she was dating
Speaker 7: this other dude named Tremaine that I went to high
Speaker 7: school with.
Speaker 3: Sounds like he might be cooler than you. Yeah, I
Speaker 3: would live. Nah he was. He was short, he had
Speaker 3: a neck tattoo, and he like.
Speaker 7: A military dude. Now, but he was like he was
Speaker 7: like sure, he's like five six, you know. He was
Speaker 7: He's like a little dude, but he was. He was cool.
Speaker 7: I'm cooler to you know today, you know, like modern day,
Speaker 7: but like as an eighteen year old, like he had he.
Speaker 3: Was cooler than he had a car.
Speaker 4: Uh, I guess you got to have a car when
Speaker 4: you live in Texas. No, he didn't have a car.
Speaker 4: Yes I did. It was a bucket, but we were
Speaker 4: moving around at her it was a nineteen ninety three.
Speaker 5: You're giving me bike energy, So sorry.
Speaker 4: You can't have Yeah, you are giving by energy.
Speaker 7: Like messenger, I've been had I got a car and
Speaker 7: I was sixteen. It was a bucket. It was I was,
Speaker 7: I was doing good. Should have sen my wife. I
Speaker 7: was thriving in Austin. Yeah, he's like, I didn't live
Speaker 7: in apartment bro I was.
Speaker 3: I didn't know I was living that I was. Anyway,
Speaker 3: it's fine, you don't have to prove anything anyway. Yeah.
Speaker 3: So then she goes to me. I found out she
Speaker 3: was Tremaine on my Space.
Speaker 4: He was on the time.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I seen that.
Speaker 4: She like posted a picture. How did you used to
Speaker 4: post pictures on? I think it was a wall, Like, yeah,
Speaker 4: it was a wall.
Speaker 3: I don't know.
Speaker 4: I know you had albums.
Speaker 3: Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, okay.
Speaker 7: I saw that And then like and then like like
Speaker 7: a month or two later, she like popped back up
Speaker 7: in the picture because she used to always just text
Speaker 7: me and be like, hey, what's up stranger, like like
Speaker 7: she ain't never goest me.
Speaker 2: Yeah, like a like a grown ass man. She was
Speaker 2: in high school, like a grown ass man.
Speaker 3: Sure what's going on?
Speaker 8: You?
Speaker 4: And and so then and you were like, yes, yes,
Speaker 4: this I'm around.
Speaker 7: I mean basically I was like, okay, I'm gonna get
Speaker 7: you know, this is gonna go well for me. So
Speaker 7: I was like, okay, like we're gonna hook up. And
Speaker 7: then we hooked up, and then I go to her
Speaker 7: after that.
Speaker 4: That's my virginity for you.
Speaker 3: But how was it for you? I mean it was
Speaker 3: I was you know, it's bad. Yeah, I'm sure if
Speaker 3: you asked her it was it was.
Speaker 7: You came fast, no forever, I like did, because I
Speaker 7: was like looking at the that was like a big thing.
Speaker 7: When you eighteen, you're like, okay, I'm gonna make this
Speaker 7: stretch and you like your twelve minutes.
Speaker 8: Think.
Speaker 7: I feel like it was like a cool twenty first,
Speaker 7: like I was, well, I.
Speaker 4: Took him ten minutes to get it in, yeah, and
Speaker 4: then you know ten minutes.
Speaker 3: Yeah, we was we was fumbling, we was fumbling around.
Speaker 3: But I was like, I was like watching.
Speaker 5: You know, she sucked it right, shut up, you know
Speaker 5: she was.
Speaker 3: Devin.
Speaker 4: Well you know what it SoundCloud rappers now she is.
Speaker 4: Oh no, he was a my Space wrapper. Well my
Speaker 4: cass is back apparently just no way weird.
Speaker 6: Yea.
Speaker 7: I get back on there. Timber, he like bought it.
Speaker 7: He like put money.
Speaker 4: Let's get back on my space. Guys listening, We'll get on.
Speaker 4: It's a move on right now. We all want to
Speaker 4: make my space page. I'm here for it.
Speaker 5: Make sure you add us to your topic.
Speaker 3: Absolutely it's de activated, is gone.
Speaker 4: I had too many like hooker horror photos up there,
Speaker 4: hooker horn hooker horror photos. Just me remember what my
Speaker 4: no brawn, Me and my panties in front of a fireplace.
Speaker 3: Just swinging the weave over the Yes.
Speaker 5: Yeah, somebody looked at them and they're.
Speaker 4: Like, have you googled yourself?
Speaker 5: Have you seen they were popping up when you googled yourself.
Speaker 4: I had like I had a rope in my mouth.
Speaker 4: It was a lot.
Speaker 3: I seen those phone.
Speaker 4: From come on, yeah, no, it was a whip.
Speaker 3: I had a whip in my mouth. That better different,
Speaker 3: that's a different. Now it's still terrible because it's I
Speaker 3: don't even know where to find.
Speaker 4: A rope wor store or Michael's maybe. Okay, Okay, I see,
Speaker 4: I see, I see bald Marie, she got hardware facts. Now,
Speaker 4: I see I see you Tim to man Taylor over here. Okay,
Speaker 4: you see Okay, so you want eighteen? Okay, now talk
Speaker 4: to us about whole faces?
Speaker 2: Right, So, like, I'm kind of going through my thing now,
Speaker 2: but I'm going through it because I've never gone through
Speaker 2: a whole face. Really, this is my first one. I
Speaker 2: didn't go through a whole face in college. I didn't
Speaker 2: kiss no girls so exactly. So he's like, yeah, but
Speaker 2: you're so bald now, but you look like lead away.
Speaker 3: Shut up, Devin.
Speaker 4: So I'm just doing it because I can, and I started,
Speaker 4: and I like it, and I think it's great to
Speaker 4: be like get out of my house or go to
Speaker 4: their house and eat their food and then be like
Speaker 4: call me a car.
Speaker 3: They call you a car.
Speaker 4: Yeah, sometimes it's Marie. Why would they not call her
Speaker 4: a car? Bully them into getting a.
Speaker 3: Car, my damn car.
Speaker 2: A man is in therapy right now because yeah, probably
Speaker 2: get you're getting people cars home.
Speaker 4: If if Devin is not, if I like you, if
Speaker 4: we like, if we.
Speaker 3: Don't believe it, you don't believe it. Now I feel like.
Speaker 4: You've maybe have gotten all car but I don't think
Speaker 4: you out here getting cars. Your eyes are so brown,
Speaker 4: Like they're so brown that you can almost have light eyes.
Speaker 5: You're definitely not getting them around.
Speaker 3: You feel like if I had, if I had the
Speaker 3: dark ones.
Speaker 4: Yeah, you're like, I'm just so thankful you're here, and
Speaker 4: then you would get a car. Yeah, you got the
Speaker 4: like the junior Michael Ely yeahs him up.
Speaker 3: Baby.
Speaker 4: Wait, but I have to say e A l y
Speaker 4: because people keep typing and then lee and then they're
Speaker 4: like Marie, that person is hideous.
Speaker 7: Okay, see I'll been reference to Michael before. Yes, Michael,
Speaker 7: he's that's the dude in barbershop.
Speaker 3: Yeah you know who Michael Ely is? Michael Eely. Oh yeah,
Speaker 3: and I'll name seven movies when I was a movie
Speaker 3: with that.
Speaker 4: Are you watching? Yeah, so you're not getting cars.
Speaker 2: How do you meet women? You'redating them on apps, you're
Speaker 2: meeting them in real life? Most you sliding in people's
Speaker 2: show show. I'm not really show I'm not really, I'm
Speaker 2: not in the dms. But you know what, since I moved,
Speaker 2: Since I moved here, the girls in the DMS has
Speaker 2: been like, it's really like escalating ladies.
Speaker 3: That's what is that?
Speaker 4: Why it's not no dudes in my DMS. I gotta
Speaker 4: slide it to their d MS.
Speaker 3: I don't really.
Speaker 4: Oh, I'm not doing that because again, yeah, I'm not
Speaker 4: really trying to be out here like that. You're a liar.
Speaker 4: Put you out here though, I did it fucking out here.
Speaker 4: I did it already.
Speaker 3: That's what he's Okay, so let's get into it. So
Speaker 3: let's get into it.
Speaker 7: So my most recent he fase was like into last
Speaker 7: year beginning of this year.
Speaker 3: Okay, so you were doing and during the winter time.
Speaker 4: You know how hard it is to hold when it's
Speaker 4: fucking I think season. He's in and out.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I feel like that's the easiest time.
Speaker 2: Yeah, you see you once every two weeks. But then
Speaker 2: he got a couple of people in the rotation.
Speaker 4: But we're trying to.
Speaker 2: Get my schedule together. You know, I gotta get a
Speaker 2: whole daily plannet. Yeah, and a the book uh huh,
Speaker 2: one of those big ass desk calendars and I could
Speaker 2: just write tremain on Thursday. Anyway, So some wintertime, Yeah,
Speaker 2: how are you meeting these people?
Speaker 5: The ones that you just the face that you just completed.
Speaker 7: It was combination of like shows like girls, I meeting
Speaker 7: parties and stuff like that, and she'll be going to
Speaker 7: And I was also like like fresh out, like I was,
Speaker 7: I was dating somebody, like when I moved here.
Speaker 3: And then we she sucked up with that long distance.
Speaker 4: Now she moved here for you. No no, no, no,
Speaker 4: she's gonna move here regardless.
Speaker 3: That's what she told you she was going. She was.
Speaker 3: She moved back after y'all broke up.
Speaker 4: She saw here.
Speaker 3: Oh okay, so trying to get her money together. She said,
Speaker 3: she's not moving back. She likes it up here.
Speaker 4: She always wanted to move to New York. Okay.
Speaker 7: But anyway, basically got out of that, and I was like,
Speaker 7: all right, I'm trying to get active because I.
Speaker 3: Was, because I did.
Speaker 4: I'm trying to I'm trying to get I'm trying to
Speaker 4: make some moves.
Speaker 3: Baby, Okay.
Speaker 4: Because she was stifling you a little take, you could
Speaker 4: just I was, you know, we're together for like two years.
Speaker 3: That's a long time a lot.
Speaker 4: Time's the longest relationship three years? Okay?
Speaker 3: What yeah?
Speaker 4: What fans in your life? Was this right before the
Speaker 4: five years.
Speaker 2: That I didn't have a man before you started comedy,
Speaker 2: like right right when I yeah.
Speaker 3: And then comedy broke out up.
Speaker 4: You know, I broke us up obviously because I'm terrible,
Speaker 4: but you know that's my brand. And then he and
Speaker 4: then she made friends with a very mean person, so
Speaker 4: that that helped as well.
Speaker 3: Here we are, but you're you're the sweet one time. Like,
Speaker 3: I'm not I'm not saying you're not mean.
Speaker 5: What I'm saying, you're saying of the two of us,
Speaker 5: she's slightly sweeter.
Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah, I'm saying comparatively because he's got calling us
Speaker 4: sour patch kids.
Speaker 5: First they're sweet and then they're sour.
Speaker 3: Yeah, but it's mainly you've never been sweet to me.
Speaker 4: I don't think.
Speaker 3: You got it been sweet. I'm not saying you've been mean,
Speaker 3: but I'm but you don't. We don't.
Speaker 4: She's like, she sees past you sweet is the wrong you.
Speaker 4: She seas you can't be guessing these six three two
Speaker 4: thirty niggas up.
Speaker 7: Wait, you can't, you really can't wait. So that's something
Speaker 7: I really want to promote on the podcast. If you
Speaker 7: want a gas A six three nigga up to do it,
Speaker 7: it's perfectly okay.
Speaker 3: I've never been.
Speaker 4: Get his.
Speaker 3: Regular elated. I got you baby.
Speaker 1: Jacket's cute corn jacket cutter.
Speaker 3: Is the face cute? Andrew, have you been to shell before?
Speaker 3: Shell gas station?
Speaker 4: Have you been to it?
Speaker 3: Shell gas station?
Speaker 4: Okay?
Speaker 3: Andrew said it's a He said, what you're going to
Speaker 3: do about it? The ducks is covering.
Speaker 4: Clean up on out seven seven is Andrew's trousers.
Speaker 3: I listened to the Jay Jordon episode you are doing him?
Speaker 3: I was like, y'all leave.
Speaker 5: Andrew because Andrew was looking at J like, I mean reciprocated.
Speaker 3: Yeah, that's true. J J was flirting.
Speaker 5: But Jay the flood that he's a professional flood and I'll.
Speaker 3: Be seeing I'll be seeing them pictures. He was like,
Speaker 3: Jay is like a real thought. Yeah, he would have boys.
Speaker 3: Some does it. He does what he does when he
Speaker 3: does it, he does what he does. Cut up the
Speaker 3: Agelo Dickie. You know, if your body was like that,
Speaker 3: you would be having you would have no shirtle I'd
Speaker 3: be disgraceful. A lot a body like that.
Speaker 7: If I would be a disgracefuls and no, Jack, I
Speaker 7: would not be a good person if I have I
Speaker 7: have multiple babies.
Speaker 4: That's why.
Speaker 5: If I was Kevin, you could get like that. You know,
Speaker 5: you could just go to this.
Speaker 3: Hear Marie talking, don't say that. Everybody talk baby, get
Speaker 3: the man. You bringing him down, and I'm trying you
Speaker 3: can make it happy. Do a couple of crunches.
Speaker 5: I mean maybe like three hundred a day.
Speaker 4: But bring it down and bring you down, huh.
Speaker 2: I'm just trying to help you be a hotter hope. Yeah,
Speaker 2: it's what kind of women are you dating?
Speaker 3: Here's the thing.
Speaker 4: I knew this question was coming and you were not
Speaker 4: prepared for No. No, no, I'm very prepared for it. But
Speaker 4: before I answer that question, he's going to say something
Speaker 4: that's not problematic so that he can win on all.
Speaker 3: Well, let him say what he says.
Speaker 7: And then we'll see if he's not even I'm not
Speaker 7: before I addressed me, before I addressed me and my dating,
Speaker 7: I want to.
Speaker 4: I want to.
Speaker 3: I asked about Marie two times.
Speaker 4: Right, this is something, this is something I acknowledged. The
Speaker 4: other is your type great? Somebody that's not in your reach. Okay, good,
Speaker 4: got it. Okay, well says you got to reach for
Speaker 4: the stars.
Speaker 5: Okay, you know verified.
Speaker 3: I'm a star. Okay, So we bring him, we bring
Speaker 3: me up, and we tear me down. That's what we're doing.
Speaker 3: That's what the podcast mean to the people we really like.
Speaker 4: Honestly, if you're mean to you, we don't really like you, though, Yeah,
Speaker 4: surely not facts.
Speaker 1: Andrew, Oh yeah, it's absolutely Yeah.
Speaker 3: Okay, I asked bout Marie twice. When was the time,
Speaker 3: right then?
Speaker 7: Yea, one was the time I asked another homie and
Speaker 7: I was like, I was like, hey, what's what's Marie
Speaker 7: Fosson's deal? Like, what's her like, what's her situation? And
Speaker 7: he was like.
Speaker 3: He was like bruh.
Speaker 7: I bumped into Marie in La and she had a
Speaker 7: dude with her, and I was like, okay, it was
Speaker 7: like a like, like, what was his situation she was?
Speaker 7: He was like it was some white dude. He looked
Speaker 7: lame as fuck and he was like a cartoonist or
Speaker 7: something like that.
Speaker 3: I don't even remember. I'm leaving all of my clothes on. Okay,
Speaker 3: who what are we talking about? Who's who is this man?
Speaker 4: Yeah? I don't know.
Speaker 3: I don't know who that man was.
Speaker 4: Well, I don't know who that man was. Somebody that
Speaker 4: was feeding Marie. You were a cartoon, wasn't the nigga
Speaker 4: you went to a date with and then you had
Speaker 4: him drive you to the show and then he stayed.
Speaker 4: I bet you that was him.
Speaker 5: Wait, who did I take it? Take me to a show?
Speaker 3: Somebody? Somebody? Somebody?
Speaker 5: You had a date with him and you were like, oh,
Speaker 5: can I have It?
Speaker 3: Might have been my old roommate.
Speaker 5: He's basically a cartoon character.
Speaker 3: He was tall.
Speaker 7: I mean, I haven't seen this man in person. This
Speaker 7: is this is second it's a second hand account. You've
Speaker 7: met him when you lived were lived in LA.
Speaker 3: For two years. No, this was when you were there
Speaker 3: for a month.
Speaker 5: I stayed with my roommate, my ownment. Okay, yeah, so
Speaker 5: it was him. It was him, because I was like,
Speaker 5: is this.
Speaker 4: A new development that because that I was banging in
Speaker 4: La was a black dude? Okay?
Speaker 3: What about like a one like a single date, you know,
Speaker 3: just like a one?
Speaker 5: No, when I was in La. Ah No, I didn't
Speaker 5: go all some days when I was out there.
Speaker 4: Because you know, this was hungry. But you did say
Speaker 4: that somebody came to a show, they took you to
Speaker 4: the date, and then they ended up driving you there
Speaker 4: and stayed.
Speaker 3: Oh yeah, who is that man?
Speaker 2: Some dude that I went on a date with and
Speaker 2: then I asked for a ride to my show and
Speaker 2: he stayed at the show.
Speaker 3: He didn't want to leave?
Speaker 4: Was it?
Speaker 3: Did he match this description?
Speaker 4: No? I think cartoon means my old roommate. I'm telling y'all,
Speaker 4: why are you looking at me?
Speaker 3: I was there?
Speaker 2: Who was the person that you were talking to that
Speaker 2: said that they saw me? Because then maybe I can
Speaker 2: it'll refresh my memory?
Speaker 3: And why are you bringing this up? Why are you
Speaker 3: trying to drag Marie?
Speaker 4: Y'all was trying to drag me first, because I see,
Speaker 4: I seen what I see what.
Speaker 3: I've been doing. I listened to the Zach Fox episode.
Speaker 3: I see how y'all did. Yeah, but Zach is a professional,
Speaker 3: Yeah he is. I've seen how y'all did. A fat
Speaker 3: Tony he brought the heat with Tony the Ugli. How
Speaker 3: dare you talk to us? And I love me some
Speaker 3: fat Tony. We love Tony.
Speaker 4: Tony is like he's like he's famous, He's like a
Speaker 4: Texas legend. Yeah, like it's like if you if you're
Speaker 4: like creative, if you like do creative stuff, especially if
Speaker 4: you're black and creative, like you know somebody who knows
Speaker 4: who's like homies with fat Tony.
Speaker 5: Yes, do reflect what we're talking about you wait wait
Speaker 5: wait wait.
Speaker 4: Wait, So.
Speaker 3: But you were talking about me?
Speaker 4: Huh?
Speaker 3: Because I was?
Speaker 4: Because I was, because I was because I see what y'all.
Speaker 4: I see what y'all try to do. What hurt.
Speaker 7: I see what y'all try to do the young black
Speaker 7: man who coming on the show, see when you when
Speaker 7: it's when it's a straight black dude. I see what
Speaker 7: y'all try to do. Y'all try to be like, oh so,
Speaker 7: so who you're seeing? And then every answer is the wrong.
Speaker 1: So the answer that the.
Speaker 4: Long answer, short answer. What you're trying to say is
Speaker 4: you day white women.
Speaker 3: You've seen me with one girl?
Speaker 4: Oh yeah, at the karaoke at karaoke for Amena's birthday.
Speaker 3: I'm sorry she was black.
Speaker 5: Yes, but that doesn't say anything. Who are these people?
Speaker 4: You did that on purpose? You're like, I know I'm
Speaker 4: gonna be a karaoke. You probably met somebody at Dallas BBQ.
Speaker 4: You were like, hey, you want to do with some
Speaker 4: black girls that I want some loud, mean girls. This
Speaker 4: mean girl that dates cartoon car.
Speaker 3: You look like, yes Marie pulled up with a Garfield Yes, yes, yes,
Speaker 3: John from Garfield. But yeah, I mean what's yeah, of course,
Speaker 3: I mean. Have I tell us what your type is?
Speaker 3: That's all we want to know.
Speaker 4: I like, I like, I like mostly girls who are
Speaker 4: like creative fields.
Speaker 3: Like I like, man, I'm throwing stuff off the table.
Speaker 3: What does she look like? What does she look like?
Speaker 4: You're told she playing a movie?
Speaker 3: She could she could look like anything.
Speaker 5: You just want somebody alive. That's stupid.
Speaker 4: I'm just saying.
Speaker 7: It's like, that's like, okay, so you have like a
Speaker 7: specific like you have like a type. It's like a
Speaker 7: type that you're interested in. Yes, you know, and like you,
Speaker 7: I feel like she don't have a take, and I
Speaker 7: feel kind of the same way.
Speaker 3: It's like I don't know.
Speaker 4: I see what he's doing there. He's like, I'm trying
Speaker 4: to be relatable marine.
Speaker 3: Okay, but it's not. Everybody just has like a type.
Speaker 4: That's true. This is true, like certain people like you
Speaker 4: like certain things about people.
Speaker 3: But like I can say, I can say I have I.
Speaker 4: Know that I don't like people who are fat, like
Speaker 4: I'm not attracted to big guys.
Speaker 3: Damn, that's hurtful, that's problematic.
Speaker 4: Actually, and I don't stand by any of the things
Speaker 4: that Marie just said.
Speaker 2: I like people like I take care of my body,
Speaker 2: I work. I want you to also be somebody who
Speaker 2: gets into the gym at least, you know, four times
Speaker 2: a week.
Speaker 5: I'm not Reggie Conquest goes to the gym every week.
Speaker 2: Well, some people don't really do nothing when they go
Speaker 2: to the gym, you know. Some people go to plant
Speaker 2: finish and get pizza on Thursdays. You know, Like we're
Speaker 2: not doing the same thing at the gym. I'm doing
Speaker 2: my cardio, I'm doing my legs.
Speaker 3: G I see the work that you're doing.
Speaker 4: I appreciate you, like Reggie were we appreciate your chubby ass,
Speaker 4: but that's not what we're talking about.
Speaker 3: I don't date fluffy dudes. That's not my.
Speaker 4: Tight never no, not one, not one max O cream
Speaker 4: in your life, sure, but not no more.
Speaker 3: I'm a grown up now, Okay.
Speaker 4: Will we will we?
Speaker 3: Category body don't want it on top of me. I
Speaker 3: feel like Devin is squishy. I'm not.
Speaker 4: I'm like let me let me touch No, don't touch me,
Speaker 4: but no, stop the podcast while make those commercials in
Speaker 4: and watch next January. This nigga wuna be so ripped,
Speaker 4: he's gonna look like you're gonna be looking like Michael B.
Speaker 4: Joring Black Panther.
Speaker 3: I'm telling y'all, bro, when you look like, are we
Speaker 3: gonna shake on that?
Speaker 4: I mean, she's like looks like the most impossible nigga.
Speaker 3: Like he's not impossible, but it's like, it's how many
Speaker 3: niggas you know look like that? Three? Yeah? I mean
Speaker 3: don't know nobody looked like that. They don't they don't
Speaker 3: hang out. They're not comedians. No, no comedians look like that.
Speaker 7: Absolutely except for Jay, I mean Jay, but it's and
Speaker 7: he not like Creed was like, did y'all watch a
Speaker 7: movie anyway? I feel like we're talking about types. Yes,
Speaker 7: you haven't answered.
Speaker 3: Here's here's what.
Speaker 4: You haven't told me about your history. I want to
Speaker 4: know more about you, babe, But that's it.
Speaker 3: Here's here's what I'm saying, Babe.
Speaker 4: Babe.
Speaker 7: I feel like I got like different types of like
Speaker 7: different different types of types, different.
Speaker 4: Types of different. So you like an urban outfitters, white woman.
Speaker 4: Then you go to Trader Joe's God another white woman
Speaker 4: like that. Then you woman, see how you're trying to
Speaker 4: put me out, but Banana Republic black, see how you're
Speaker 4: trying to put me out? Mons about that's I feel
Speaker 4: like his hispanic work?
Speaker 6: Yes?
Speaker 4: Is that? Yeah?
Speaker 3: Okay? Go ahead? Tell us? So wait, when did you
Speaker 3: know that?
Speaker 4: You were like, yeah, tell me about tell me what
Speaker 4: you mean? When did you realize you were like, Okay,
Speaker 4: I gotta put up, I gotta hang up my whole
Speaker 4: cloak and do the right thing, because you really haven't
Speaker 4: told us when you were hoeing or how you were hoeing,
Speaker 4: Like did you give anybody an st D? Did somebody
Speaker 4: get pregnant? Like stuff like that. You're going half on
Speaker 4: the Plan B or you put paying the whole forty
Speaker 4: eight down.
Speaker 3: Have you ever gotten Plan B?
Speaker 4: Of course? Okay, yeah, okay, good, good, good, because if
Speaker 4: you've never done that, then I couldn't believe you're not
Speaker 4: really if you have not had a pregnancy scare ever,
Speaker 4: you're a good guy and that's nasty.
Speaker 3: No, no, yeah, you're a good.
Speaker 4: Shame on you for wearing the condom or pulling out
Speaker 4: and pulling out Yeah, what's wrong with you?
Speaker 3: Hilarious?
Speaker 7: Let's see hope I got one? I got one STD store. Whoa,
Speaker 7: that's what I know, that's what I want for.
Speaker 5: You didn't tell what your type was. But we'll get
Speaker 5: back to that.
Speaker 7: Because I tried to tell you what my type was,
Speaker 7: and you're like, oh, Urban Outfitters White.
Speaker 3: Oh okay, well Warren Polo White.
Speaker 2: Look you see this. I'm sealing my lips. I'm zipping
Speaker 2: them shut. And I threw away the key.
Speaker 4: Do you want to hear the do you want to
Speaker 4: hear the I want to hear your the STD story
Speaker 4: s TD Okay, I don't come back to it's anyway.
Speaker 7: STD story. It is a girl that I used to
Speaker 7: have a crush on a high school. I thought she
Speaker 7: was real cool.
Speaker 5: Don't be the nastiest ones, the ones that you've had
Speaker 5: a crush on for years and years.
Speaker 3: That's that's where I mean. Don't you do that. Don't
Speaker 3: blame it on her.
Speaker 4: You had the st D, he was a virgin.
Speaker 3: It doesn't no, no, no, no no no. Can I tell
Speaker 3: the story? Yes, okay, yes I know, Andrew, and I
Speaker 3: can't even anyway.
Speaker 7: It was a girl as a girl went to high
Speaker 7: school with I just got a big crush on her. Yes,
Speaker 7: but we was always like she always had a boyfriend.
Speaker 7: She had a boyfriend, and then she would not have
Speaker 7: a boyfriend, and then I'd have a girl.
Speaker 3: It was like always like that, back and forth, back
Speaker 3: you're hot.
Speaker 4: Than your cold?
Speaker 1: Yes, then no, yes, he everet the story.
Speaker 3: Shut up, Andrew, you're interrupting. I like, now that gave
Speaker 3: Andrew because Andrew mic I don't tell him that. I
Speaker 3: don't tell no.
Speaker 4: I like it.
Speaker 3: He turned a read. He's like, oh my god, I
Speaker 3: feel seen. He's likely.
Speaker 7: Uh and so and so then cut to we go
Speaker 7: to uh like we we both single. We both single
Speaker 7: as far as I know, and we we go we
Speaker 7: go to a show together. We go like we go see,
Speaker 7: uh the.
Speaker 3: Movie doesn't matter.
Speaker 4: No, no, no, we went together to play you see Harry
Speaker 4: Potter and Where's Go See Where's Go see Childish Cambino.
Speaker 5: Oh, that's a that's a good one.
Speaker 7: So we go, we go to Childish, We go to
Speaker 7: childishant it was a good show.
Speaker 3: It was a good show.
Speaker 7: This is also like it's like twenty fourteen, so that's
Speaker 7: like before he like really really okay, So this is
Speaker 7: when he was doing that like he's doing like the
Speaker 7: lame ship.
Speaker 4: Yeah yeah yeah, relatable, yeah yeah yeah yeah. And so
Speaker 4: we we go to the show. After the show, we
Speaker 4: like pretty drunk, we hook up and then you know,
Speaker 4: I'm happy. I'm like, okay, you know I feel when
Speaker 4: you finally, you know, you finally get somebody that like
Speaker 4: you've been you know, was good.
Speaker 7: Yeah, I mean I was too. Honestly, I was too drunk.
Speaker 7: I really don't. I mean, I don't think I'm not.
Speaker 7: I'm not claiming no, no bad.
Speaker 4: You know, I know when I you know, you you
Speaker 4: know when you lay off the good dick. You know,
Speaker 4: you know when you drop off the good dick? Do
Speaker 4: you know?
Speaker 3: Do you know do men know when they drop off
Speaker 3: good dick? I won't say ever.
Speaker 7: I'm sure some men are delusional about it, but it's
Speaker 7: like I feel like I have a good idea, and
Speaker 7: I know I know when I dropped the ball. You know,
Speaker 7: you know, you know when you just not really you
Speaker 7: just don't really bring it like that. You know, sometimes
Speaker 7: I deserve to get ghosted. If I drop off a
Speaker 7: C plus dick, you know, then you don't have to
Speaker 7: talk to me again.
Speaker 4: You heard it her first you did. That's plus dick.
Speaker 4: That means you can ghost him. You can go yeah,
Speaker 4: you don't have to ever talk to him anyway. So
Speaker 4: on the record, go ahead, it's for.
Speaker 3: Anybody who's listening. And yeah.
Speaker 7: So we So we hook up a couple of days ago.
Speaker 7: By I'm at my job. This is like my first
Speaker 7: job I got out of college. I'm at my job,
Speaker 7: get a text from her. She was like, hey, are
Speaker 7: you free?
Speaker 5: And You're like, oh, she's ready right now. She's I
Speaker 5: don't even had.
Speaker 7: She was like, are you free right now? And I
Speaker 7: was like, yeah, what's up. She was like, I'm gonna
Speaker 7: call you. So she calls me. I step out into
Speaker 7: the stair like the little stairwell at my job. She
Speaker 7: was like, Hey, I gotta tell you something. She was like, so,
Speaker 7: my boyfriend just told me that he has chlamydia.
Speaker 4: Oh my gosh, what if you're going to get an
Speaker 4: STD Clymi isod, You're right, that's the Yeah, it's the best,
Speaker 4: it's the best, it's the.
Speaker 3: Best of all. It's the best of the Yeah. But
Speaker 3: you were the side of fries, so like.
Speaker 7: But the thing about like it's one thing, if one thing,
Speaker 7: it's one thing if you decided, it is the one thing.
Speaker 7: It's one thing, if you decide, Nigga, and you know
Speaker 7: you decided Nigga. I thought she was single, you know,
Speaker 7: like as far as far as I knew, like she
Speaker 7: had told me, like they broke up. They had broke
Speaker 7: up like maybe like a month ago, and then I
Speaker 7: guess they got back together or maybe they was just
Speaker 7: like still. I don't know what the situation was, but
Speaker 7: you was the sweet potato fries. I guess so sweet.
Speaker 2: So then you do what you drop everything while you're
Speaker 2: at work. You throw the files in the air, and
Speaker 2: you're like, I gotta go.
Speaker 4: I told I told my homegirl, like this girl I
Speaker 4: worked with, I was like, I told her the whole story.
Speaker 4: She laughed, She laughed a lot. She also class exactly exactly.
Speaker 3: I've never had the clasp, but she laughs.
Speaker 1: Last do you take the shot or something?
Speaker 3: It was okay, so we all so we all been there.
Speaker 3: I don't know, Sidney, what what s city did you have?
Speaker 3: Because you had some tricks that sounds worst.
Speaker 4: I never even heard of that parasite that's that's on
Speaker 4: the secret meaning otist.
Speaker 3: You know that was a slave.
Speaker 4: It was fucking a jet throw playing.
Speaker 3: A man with a shackle on. Ye, yes, thank you,
Speaker 3: thank you so much.
Speaker 4: I appreciate your supports us free during this hard times.
Speaker 4: But they never really never heard of them. Yeah, they
Speaker 4: made you drink something or was that a pill? Or
Speaker 4: I had to take into antibiotics. My your coach does
Speaker 4: not smell good and your stomach is in pain. It's
Speaker 4: a parasite. You have a parasite inside, so you're basically pregnant. Yeah, yes,
Speaker 4: you called kids parasite, Yes I did.
Speaker 3: I mean there's something to it, okay, absolutely, okay, because the.
Speaker 1: Worst things this episode.
Speaker 7: Yeah, what you said about fat man, Yeah that was.
Speaker 4: All my fat man and women out there, I'll support you. Yeah,
Speaker 4: big women, ill support you. I'll support a big woman.
Speaker 3: Okay.
Speaker 5: Wow do we talk about being a hoe at all?
Speaker 3: I don't know, Devin, what do you I mean?
Speaker 1: I feel like one s t D? Sorry one?
Speaker 4: Yeah? And how many? And to think about it, baby,
Speaker 4: you got I got tested today.
Speaker 2: I wanted to say, you don't find out media how
Speaker 2: many STDs have?
Speaker 3: Which STDs have you had?
Speaker 4: Okay that you can remember you're gonna lose dick off
Speaker 4: this and no, not no, not no, like how honesty is.
Speaker 3: Don't do that.
Speaker 8: Yeah, okay, so I haven't tested positive for chlamydia orgonaria ever,
Speaker 8: But it's the guys that will text you after the
Speaker 8: fact and be like, hey, I am you know showing
Speaker 8: the symptoms.
Speaker 3: For Okay, well yes, but tell us what you've had.
Speaker 8: Yeah, okay, this is like truly like I had crabs
Speaker 8: on that was wow.
Speaker 4: Andrew, you you got to be thirty five in nineteen
Speaker 4: seventy six have phased out.
Speaker 3: My film was all went cracks. That's what Bill gave you.
Speaker 8: Crab.
Speaker 3: He is the father of crad got it, Andrew crabs?
Speaker 3: What else?
Speaker 8: Okay? So HPV everyone has HPV. However, these symptoms for
Speaker 8: hpv H differs for every person, and so in some
Speaker 8: cases it will show up as warts. Uh, and so
Speaker 8: I needed to get them surgically removed.
Speaker 1: My butthole.
Speaker 3: Dick off.
Speaker 1: Absolutely, I don't care. I don't listening.
Speaker 3: You're proud old trash.
Speaker 4: For a This is real, Andrew, like upstage you on
Speaker 4: this fucking.
Speaker 1: Pop That mean he was more because you're the reformed hoe.
Speaker 5: Andrew still being a He's still bleeding poop.
Speaker 1: Yep, bleeding poop for this day.
Speaker 3: Devin Can you tell me how you're reformed?
Speaker 5: Can you just at least give me some tidbits on that?
Speaker 4: So, okay, we ended up happening, how much we got,
Speaker 4: how much time we got?
Speaker 3: We ain't no time?
Speaker 4: We have no time?
Speaker 5: So ten minutes Yeah, because I got it. Should have
Speaker 5: left now.
Speaker 3: Yeah, honestly, you're gonna be laid.
Speaker 4: Yeah.
Speaker 3: Everything anyway to what ended up happening, it was. But
Speaker 3: I was, I was. I was really, I was out
Speaker 3: here moving around. I was.
Speaker 7: I was being an extra messy you know, I was
Speaker 7: sleeping coworkers girl that lived in my building.
Speaker 3: I was really like, you know, like like friends of friends.
Speaker 2: So how did you the girl that in your building?
Speaker 2: How did that start? You guys shared an elevator ride
Speaker 2: and made eye contact. Nah, we like knew each other already.
Speaker 7: Uh, yeah, we we had met before. We were at
Speaker 7: the same we're at the same party.
Speaker 5: She listened to the pod. I see the way you're acting.
Speaker 4: Like you're popular, But I don't know your knuckles.
Speaker 3: I don't know who listened to this pod.
Speaker 7: Everybody, you want to hear the story that really convinced
Speaker 7: me to stop being Yes, all right, so it was
Speaker 7: this was, Yeah, it was like the Homies friend. It
Speaker 7: was like the Homies friend. We all bump into actually, oh.
Speaker 3: Yes, you got a tiptoe around this.
Speaker 4: Careful, but also again, if there's something that just give
Speaker 4: us the cliff note today.
Speaker 3: Long, long story short. We were at one point we
Speaker 3: were all in like a group chat.
Speaker 7: We're in a group chat together, and then we were
Speaker 7: all talking like having a good time. She texts me
Speaker 7: outside the group chat and it's like she's like hey,
Speaker 7: She's like, hey, what's up. She was like, how come
Speaker 7: we're all talking about it was like a season of
Speaker 7: Queer Eye come out. She was like, oh, why why
Speaker 7: are we not watching a new Queer Eye like together
Speaker 7: right now?
Speaker 3: If we all just.
Speaker 4: Texting about it.
Speaker 3: But she texts you that alone outside the group chat.
Speaker 3: He was on a group chat.
Speaker 5: Queer I doing so much for the straight community.
Speaker 7: I mean truly, she appreciate you all boys for giving back.
Speaker 7: You know, you know, haller at me, Karama's from Texas.
Speaker 7: Ten Frans haller at me. Okay, not Anthony, I don't
Speaker 7: funk with him.
Speaker 4: Okay, you're not here for the guack with the thing
Speaker 4: exactly exactly.
Speaker 7: So first he walk in there, he'd be like, oh,
Speaker 7: so you're eating cheese whizz hello story.
Speaker 3: All the time.
Speaker 4: That's so rude.
Speaker 3: He live in rural Georgia, of course eating she's with.
Speaker 4: Yo and uh, Devin tell us the story so I
Speaker 4: can leave trying to get these bits off anyway, it's clear.
Speaker 3: Anyway.
Speaker 4: Uh.
Speaker 3: She texted me outside the group chat.
Speaker 7: I was like, not really feeling it at first because
Speaker 7: it's like the homies friend. And then one night I
Speaker 7: had a show to show that I thought it was
Speaker 7: gonna be trash.
Speaker 4: And then ended up being real good and she was there. No, no,
Speaker 4: she wasn't there, but I was riding off that high.
Speaker 4: I was riding off of that that feeling, and I
Speaker 4: was like, I was like, you know, I'm a Texas girl.
Speaker 4: I'm gonna see what's up.
Speaker 3: End up texting her.
Speaker 4: We go out one day, we hook up and in
Speaker 4: whose house because y'all live in the same building.
Speaker 3: No, no, no, this is not the neighbor girl. This girl
Speaker 3: hop period. We you know, we were.
Speaker 7: Moving, we're moving around. We go offer a drink. She's
Speaker 7: saying some red flag stuff. You know, She's saying some
Speaker 7: stuff that I'm like, like, this don't seem right. She's
Speaker 7: just talking She's talking a lot, like in a very
Speaker 7: angry way about how these like these past dudes that
Speaker 7: like wronged her.
Speaker 4: Okay, you know, which is like on a first day,
Speaker 4: so she was ready to give women.
Speaker 3: Yeah, she really. She come up with a lot of
Speaker 3: anger frustration.
Speaker 7: We we and against my better judgment, we hook up,
Speaker 7: and then I see that she leaves.
Speaker 4: She leaves her ear rings, right, she do the whole Yeah.
Speaker 2: I mean, I've been leaving my necklaces at dude's houses,
Speaker 2: but that's because I don't like wearing it when.
Speaker 7: I exactly I feel hers. This felt, this felt very intentional.
Speaker 7: As soon as I saw it.
Speaker 5: She she like, why would she take her earrings off?
Speaker 5: Were they big?
Speaker 4: No? They were like little studs.
Speaker 5: Yeah, they were like they're like some little star.
Speaker 3: They were like little hoops some Claire.
Speaker 4: They're from Zara costume jewelry, silver plated. Anyway that happens.
Speaker 4: I see that, and I'm already like feeling hesitant. She
Speaker 4: sends me a text the next day talking about, like,
Speaker 4: I gotta get these earrings back. I got these are
Speaker 4: my favorite earrings. I wear them every day. I gotta
Speaker 4: get him back. And I'm trying to play it off
Speaker 4: because I realize what's happening. And I'm like, okay, you know,
Speaker 4: we'll meet up. We'll meet up later, you know, see
Speaker 4: each other, you know whatever.
Speaker 3: She said to come to your house now basically.
Speaker 7: And I was like nah. She was like, oh, then, like,
Speaker 7: why don't you come up with my spot. I'm in Williamsburg.
Speaker 7: And I was like, well, I'm be over there tomorrow.
Speaker 7: I'll drop them off, but I can't hang out and
Speaker 7: get out.
Speaker 3: Or not said that already?
Speaker 4: You said, why would you tell her that?
Speaker 3: I would have just dropped them off? And Okay, I
Speaker 3: gotta go.
Speaker 4: Right, and you saved the can't hang out for when
Speaker 4: you get there because you're.
Speaker 5: Giving her because she's like, well, why would he say that?
Speaker 4: Yeah?
Speaker 3: Like what like yeah, anyway, So.
Speaker 7: Because I'm trying to you know, I'm trying to like
Speaker 7: create that separation, I'm like, oh, no, do.
Speaker 3: With somebody who's giving you red flags? Why would you
Speaker 3: do that? Exactly? And I learned my lesson. Here's what happened.
Speaker 7: She she goes, she goes, that's that's too bad because
Speaker 7: us it just came out and she was like, oh,
Speaker 7: it's too bad. You can't kick it because I just
Speaker 7: bought two tickets to us, and it like it was
Speaker 7: like the opening weekend. She was like, And she was like,
Speaker 7: and I was hoping you.
Speaker 4: Like, can't be a comedian because they ain't got money
Speaker 4: for two tickets an opening weekend.
Speaker 3: I told you, I'm not had sex with one comedian.
Speaker 4: Just making sure, but double checking the math, make sure
Speaker 4: the figures are all comm hmm. But some of these comedians,
Speaker 4: you know, these comedians like you got money out here,
Speaker 4: some of them do exactly, but not us, not the
Speaker 4: ones that you go fuck yeah anything.
Speaker 5: You even know what his type is. So what you're
Speaker 5: talking about, you hear it, We know what.
Speaker 3: Your type is.
Speaker 4: You'll better quit playing me anyway. Yo.
Speaker 5: He's about to throw his dick on the table. He's like,
Speaker 5: you're gonna.
Speaker 4: Keep talking and ship and I'm gonna hit you with
Speaker 4: my I'm gonna put my my flebby dick on the table.
Speaker 4: He said, I'm gonna hit you with this Austin Austin's powers. Jesus,
Speaker 4: that fell flat, like your story. Okay, there we go, Okay,
Speaker 4: can you finish it?
Speaker 7: I do okay, Okay. So she told me that, and
Speaker 7: I was like, but I wanted to see the movies.
Speaker 7: I was like, all right, we could go see You're
Speaker 7: a Boy. I was like, we could go see us.
Speaker 7: But then I was like, I was like, as soon
Speaker 7: as a movie get out, I gotta.
Speaker 3: Really no, no, no.
Speaker 7: Look in text, I didn't no, no, I'm not saying this
Speaker 7: in text. I'm like, okay, bet we can go see
Speaker 7: the movie. I need to give you these earrings. I
Speaker 7: want to see the movie. Anyway, I sent her a
Speaker 7: vemo for the ticket. Though I send it a vemo,
Speaker 7: pay pay for the ticket. That way, it's like I'm
Speaker 7: not on the hook for you.
Speaker 4: Know, eighteen dollars exactly. He said, no, I pay for
Speaker 4: my ticket, he said, he would have been off the
Speaker 4: hook if you bought both. You would have been a
Speaker 4: dumb ass dude. If you you get the fact that
Speaker 4: you've I would have been like, I'll FMO you when
Speaker 4: I get there. Then I wouldn't have said no money.
Speaker 7: No, because it's like and no, because it's like I
Speaker 7: didn't want her to be able to say like, oh,
Speaker 7: like he played me for these tickets.
Speaker 4: She's gonna say it anyway exactly. Well, yeah, okay, so
Speaker 4: I know her. Anyway. What ends up happening is like
Speaker 4: after the movie end. She's like like, I'm walking her
Speaker 4: back because it's late. We want to go see a
Speaker 4: late movie. I'll take her back.
Speaker 5: I can't hang out and then you spend all evening
Speaker 5: or whatever. We lost like a two hour movie exactly.
Speaker 3: But we didn't.
Speaker 4: We didn't do nothing before. We just met at the
Speaker 4: movie and then just went that don't matter. Yeah, but
Speaker 4: you finished the story. You're gonna let me finish the story.
Speaker 4: Y'll keep being like, oh, you never finished the story.
Speaker 4: Why won't you finish?
Speaker 5: Because you told her you couldn't hang out and then
Speaker 5: you hung out.
Speaker 4: We went to a movie, Yes, but that's hanging out.
Speaker 5: She's gonna talk trash about you regardless of how.
Speaker 3: This story is. Oh she did, how does it end?
Speaker 4: Uh?
Speaker 7: I go back to her apartment. She's like, she's like, hey,
Speaker 7: like you like you want to come up? And I
Speaker 7: was like, nah, like I kind of think were in
Speaker 7: different places. I like, break that down, break down. She
Speaker 7: starts sobbing, like just like sobbing, big, big crying.
Speaker 3: Well ahead and put your dick on the table so
Speaker 3: we can see why she cried.
Speaker 7: Anyway, is it was? She starts big crying. I'm basically
Speaker 7: I'm apologizing on being like, hey, like you know, we
Speaker 7: were on a different page.
Speaker 3: I went on one two dates.
Speaker 7: I'm I'm also saying that I'm also basically only one.
Speaker 7: She goes, she's like, she's like, all right, fuck you.
Speaker 7: She goes upstairs. I call a car car. While I'm
Speaker 7: waiting for the cars like six minutes away. She comes
Speaker 7: back downstairs, she's like, and another thing hits me with
Speaker 7: like extra, extra, extra, all kinds of shit. Then he
Speaker 7: hits me with a big text on my way back,
Speaker 7: and then like probably like two weeks later, she hits
Speaker 7: me with the text like nothing happened. She hit me
Speaker 7: with the text talking about like oh, like what are
Speaker 7: you up to tonight or something like that, at like
Speaker 7: at like eleven at like eleven pm on like a Monday.
Speaker 4: That's that's how you got out of the whole game, bro,
Speaker 4: now that you was ready to get out, that you
Speaker 4: were tired, you wanted to hang your whole exactly. You're exhausted, exactly,
Speaker 4: And I've already been messy and ended up in some
Speaker 4: kind of messy situations, so which you didn't talk about
Speaker 4: on the pod. We had time, we had time. You
Speaker 4: skated around this ship. Y'all.
Speaker 3: The interviewers, y'all supposed to direct it.
Speaker 5: No, you caught up Michael and Barbarachet.
Speaker 4: You've talked about all the black men we've had on
Speaker 4: the podcast in the last year, Jeff, and you talked
Speaker 4: about me in a cartoon character.
Speaker 3: I feel like, all right, bring me back, bring me back.
Speaker 3: We can continue.
Speaker 7: I'll tell you, I'll tell you all the rest of
Speaker 7: the stories. Andrew, can I come back, of course?
Speaker 3: Oh don't you try to do a part two. Nigga,
Speaker 3: We don't do that. We don't come back. Let me
Speaker 3: your story now. Let me come back for the Patreon episode.
Speaker 3: Let me come back to the Patriot. Let me get
Speaker 3: let me get the bonus feature real quick.
Speaker 4: We can make that happens.
Speaker 3: More stories.
Speaker 4: I feel like I got more went on the Patreon. Yeah,
Speaker 4: we can get some stories on and you could be
Speaker 4: as messy as you want.
Speaker 7: To be on that because and then I really let
Speaker 7: people yet then then then I really put it out.
Speaker 3: Devin.
Speaker 4: I Devin, I see what you talked to A publicist, like, so,
Speaker 4: how do I milk this up on this outside attorney's work.
Speaker 3: He's like me, why would I tell them all my business.
Speaker 3: Leave a cliffhanger on this one. Yeah, honestly one.
Speaker 4: STD Devin, you literally just came here to flirt. That's
Speaker 4: all you did. You came to tell me that you
Speaker 4: asked about me.
Speaker 3: Is it working?
Speaker 6: Love?
Speaker 4: Your shirt? Up? It back?
Speaker 3: We want to see what you're working. I can't do it.
Speaker 4: I can't do it.
Speaker 3: I can't do it for the all.
Speaker 4: Right, Well you did, you did some, you did lay
Speaker 4: down some cute stuff tonight, thank you today or whatever.
Speaker 3: Sounds like City wants to know. If I was.
Speaker 4: Straight and I was going through a relapse, I'm too
Speaker 4: trying to kiss you.
Speaker 3: I was having the most difficult time. Who would you trying.
Speaker 4: To take your corneray jacket off and be like with
Speaker 4: her teeth, like lift up that trunk if.
Speaker 7: You were if you were in a moment of crisis,
Speaker 7: if you're having a relapse, who would you try to kiss?
Speaker 4: First? Me or you doing I thought you were say
Speaker 4: me or Marie obviously, but yes him or your do?
Speaker 3: My hair is moisturized.
Speaker 5: Uh Ya has more money than you.
Speaker 4: He would pay for a cap for me to get
Speaker 4: back to wherever I need to go. I could pay
Speaker 4: for a cap if you asked me to pay for
Speaker 4: a cap I would.
Speaker 3: I got to ask. I just kissed you. That should
Speaker 3: be enough.
Speaker 4: Kid.
Speaker 3: Yeah, a cab after a cat.
Speaker 4: Yes, you're gonna be grabbing his dick while you Yes, I'm.
Speaker 5: Gonna throw you up against some gates, some gates.
Speaker 3: I'm gonna lick your face. Okay, up gate. We in Minnesota.
Speaker 4: Dates, Set the scene, I'm.
Speaker 3: Throw you into a cornfield. Set the scene. Friend.
Speaker 2: Okay, you know what, I really would love to stay
Speaker 2: here for another twenty minutes.
Speaker 4: No you can't.
Speaker 3: I gotta go to these.
Speaker 4: Terrible comedy Yeah, we'll get you on a person Okay,
Speaker 4: I'll be back. Den. Please tell everybody your social media
Speaker 4: please where they can find you, where they can find you.
Speaker 7: I'm on I'm on Twitter and Instagram, y'all, followed one
Speaker 7: on Instagram at Internet, Devin on both Instagram and Twitter,
Speaker 7: and y'all look out. I'm I'm a tape a set
Speaker 7: for Comedy Central soon, y'all go check that out.
Speaker 4: Yeah that's fantastic. I'm proud of you.
Speaker 3: Won't use that money to get a trainer?
Speaker 7: Yeah, you know, you know, you know how you know?
Speaker 4: Don't you talk about my job like that? They made
Speaker 4: me quite well, all the money goes to Sydney. He
Speaker 4: She's like, let them eat cakes.
Speaker 3: Yes, and you.
Speaker 5: Have a monthly show at the Jane Hotel.
Speaker 4: Hotel, Yeah, the next one is September.
Speaker 5: We don't do dates here, but just say, what what
Speaker 5: is it on Monday?
Speaker 3: Yes, it's on a Monday.
Speaker 7: Y'all follow me or Alex English or don't follow Gary,
Speaker 7: don't post.
Speaker 5: Okay, don't be shouting out the whole.
Speaker 4: What day of the month is the show? It's on Monday,
Speaker 4: but the date move around, you know, no, he don't.
Speaker 4: It's up in the air, right right, right, Oh, they
Speaker 4: got you on those it's a good show. It's a
Speaker 4: good show.
Speaker 5: They should be giving you whatever day you want.
Speaker 3: Right, Sometimes they got events. You know, people be rented
Speaker 3: out right, people who have money, right, Okay, they pay
Speaker 3: us for the show, so it's like they losing money.
Speaker 5: Okay, Well, stop bragging. Thank you so much for being here.
Speaker 5: They pay us at the Living Factory.
Speaker 3: Don't try. I'm taking off my headphones. Thank you so much.
Speaker 5: Have a good night, good day, great day.
Speaker 4: That chlamydia juice and uh shout out to anybody who's ever.
Speaker 5: Had triconomis trickonometry triconomist trickonometry.
Speaker 3: I mean, listen, shut up, listen.
Speaker 4: If you have any host stories that you want to
Speaker 4: hit us with, you know, put them in the comments,
Speaker 4: send us d ms.
Speaker 5: We're here for that.
Speaker 4: We might send them to Devin maybe he can uh
Speaker 4: interview you on that. Out of no make sure that
Speaker 4: you give us reviews on iTunes as well.
Speaker 3: Make sure you slide in Devin's DMS.
Speaker 4: Yeah, send a whole bunch of palm trees underneath his
Speaker 4: last posts for us. The sexiest picture that he's posted,
Speaker 4: the one where he looks the sexiest, That palm trees.
Speaker 4: I'm here for that, all right, all right, bye, bye
Speaker 4: bye Forever.
Speaker 6: This has been a Forever Dog production executive produced by
Speaker 6: Brett Boham, Joe Scilio, and Alex Ramsey. For more original podcasts,
Speaker 6: please visit Foreverdog Podcasts dot com and subscribe to our
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