Speaker 1: Hey, I don't often do this, but I'm going to
Speaker 1: give you a note on how to listen to this episode.
Speaker 1: I've never done this before, but I had to do
Speaker 1: it because of how powerful everything Sean said was. The
Speaker 1: first thing is watch out for the subtleties of what
Speaker 1: Shan is saying. Everything he's saying is experience, it's realization.
Speaker 1: So you have to look out for the subtlety. Don't
Speaker 1: just go, oh, yeah, I know that, I kind of
Speaker 1: have heard that, or no, no, no. It's focused on
Speaker 1: the subtlety of the application. That's step one for listening
Speaker 1: to this podcast. The second thing is have fun while
Speaker 1: you listen, to appreciate it, love it, let it flow,
Speaker 1: but definitely look out for the subtleties. I hope you
Speaker 1: enjoyed this episode. Hey everyone, welcome back to On Purpose,
Speaker 1: the number one health podcast in the world. Thanks to
Speaker 1: each and every single one of you that come back
Speaker 1: every week to listen, learn and grow. Investing in your
Speaker 1: mental health, investing in your mental fitness, investing in your relationships.
Speaker 1: That's why you show up, and you know that. One
Speaker 1: of my favorite things is listening to your comments, reading
Speaker 1: your reviews, and trying to figure out what resonated with you.
Speaker 1: I'm on Twitter watching what you're tweeting. I'm on Instagram
Speaker 1: Stories seeing what you're tagging, and I'm so excited to
Speaker 1: be talking to you today. I can't believe it. My
Speaker 1: new book Eight Rules of Love is out and I
Speaker 1: cannot wait to share it with you. I am so
Speaker 1: so excited for you to read this book, for you
Speaker 1: to listen to this book. I read the audiobook. If
Speaker 1: you haven't got it already, make sure you go to
Speaker 1: eight Rules of Love dot com. It's dedicated to anyone
Speaker 1: who's trying to find, keep, or let go of love.
Speaker 1: So if you've got friends that are dating, broken up,
Speaker 1: or struggling with love, make sure you grab this book.
Speaker 1: And I'd love to invite you to come and see
Speaker 1: me for my global tour Love Rules. Go to Ja
Speaker 1: Shettytour dot com to learn more information about tickets, VIP experiences,
Speaker 1: and more. I can't wait to see you this year.
Speaker 1: And today's episode is a special gift from our guest
Speaker 1: and myself to you because I don't think we've had
Speaker 1: an episode that has had more requests for a Part
Speaker 1: two than today's guest. And that is not an understatement.
Speaker 1: This is the most requested Part two that we've ever
Speaker 1: had on on Purpose in the last three years. And
Speaker 1: the guest is none other than my dear friend, someone
Speaker 1: that I met for the first time on the podcast
Speaker 1: last time. Not only did that a couple of hours
Speaker 1: create a deep lasting friendship, since it's created this desire
Speaker 1: to serve together, to have a brotherhood together, to create
Speaker 1: impact together. It's none other than my dear friend, incredibly talented,
Speaker 1: someone who needs no professional introduction, Big Sean. People have
Speaker 1: been waiting, crying, asking for this, and you've been so
Speaker 1: generous and kind. We've been talking about this ever since
Speaker 1: we did the first episode. Yeah, we needed to do
Speaker 1: part two. It's been like on our it's been on
Speaker 1: our to do list, you know, absolutely, and we're doing it.
Speaker 1: And I just I just want to let people know,
Speaker 1: like off screen, like you know, I knew you were
Speaker 1: deep before you came to the show last time. I
Speaker 1: knew that you were a deep thinker, You worked on yourself,
Speaker 1: you have this incredible relationship with your mom who's influenced
Speaker 1: you so deeply. Yeah, but I didn't realize just how
Speaker 1: much of a brotherhood we were gonna have, right, And
Speaker 1: we're a connection we were gonna have right, right, And
Speaker 1: I didn't realize how much people were gonna love seeing
Speaker 1: us together when I saw the response and you foot
Speaker 1: it to right. Yeah, of course I felt it like
Speaker 1: the people who are into me were just you know, blown,
Speaker 1: like the interview, the whole interview. It's the only interview
Speaker 1: that I've been out in public, and people like yo,
Speaker 1: I saw the j H interview like I saw I
Speaker 1: heard of the interview, I saw the podcast like literally
Speaker 1: every other time I go somewhere, you know, somebody approaches
Speaker 1: me like that. So the impact is unbelievable, you know.
Speaker 1: And that's what we do it for, right. And since
Speaker 1: I came and linked up with you, we've had dinner
Speaker 1: at your house and leaving me, you, Jane, your wife,
Speaker 1: we all just been like kicking it. So it's cool
Speaker 1: to it's cool to deliver Part two. I feel like
Speaker 1: it's needed and necessary, you know. Yeah, And part two
Speaker 1: means there'll be a part three and a part four,
Speaker 1: no limit. But yeah, yeah, I want to thank you
Speaker 1: for just you know, saying that, because even your community
Speaker 1: that I got to connect with because of the show. Yeah,
Speaker 1: for sure, your fans and your audience are incredible, Like
Speaker 1: I just saw this whole new group of people connect
Speaker 1: with my work because of you through you, yeah, and
Speaker 1: vice versa two. Yeah, And I was just like, I
Speaker 1: didn't realize that all these people would would care about
Speaker 1: the things I'm talking about. And so I want to
Speaker 1: thank you, want to thank your community. I want to
Speaker 1: thank your audience who just showed me so much love
Speaker 1: who they may not have even known who I was,
Speaker 1: but thanks to you. They're on a mission, a mission
Speaker 1: be better, you know. Yeah, They're on a mission to
Speaker 1: work on themselves. And the whole world is going through
Speaker 1: so much right now, it's crazy, you know. So that's
Speaker 1: one of the things I've been focusing on. I've just
Speaker 1: been like really focusing on mastering myself more, still putting
Speaker 1: time into myself, just trying to be the silence and
Speaker 1: still in amongst the noise and the chaos, and then
Speaker 1: when things are still and stagnant, to know when it's
Speaker 1: time to move, you know, and really trying to find
Speaker 1: that balance. It's like the Ying and the Yang, and
Speaker 1: how there's like a little dot of each in the
Speaker 1: parts of the Ying Yang. It's like that's what my
Speaker 1: life is trying to be. Like trying to be the
Speaker 1: stillness in the chaos and the movement and trying to
Speaker 1: be the movement in the stagnation of things. You know.
Speaker 1: I love that, trying to be the stillness in the
Speaker 1: movement and trying to be the movement in the stillness.
Speaker 1: And how you saying external or internal? Like, how how
Speaker 1: are you learning to watch? That? Was both? Right? So
Speaker 1: it's like the external on the internal are so connected. Right,
Speaker 1: So I just have been realizing that it most of
Speaker 1: the things that are externals start internally, right, So that's
Speaker 1: what I used. It starts with internal. That's why I
Speaker 1: start my day with meditation, you know. And the fact
Speaker 1: that we went through so many meditations last time we
Speaker 1: met up man I was so helpful because I learned
Speaker 1: I met itate every morning and I like to ask you, like,
Speaker 1: what does meditation do for you? Like when you do it? Yes,
Speaker 1: what does it do for you? This as we did
Speaker 1: last time. So I'm trying to figure out which ones
Speaker 1: everyone's gonna see first. But either way, Big Sean and
Speaker 1: I did a brilliant men's health collab to talk about
Speaker 1: the power of willness and meditation. It was historic because
Speaker 1: it's the first time men's health are doing a train
Speaker 1: like me, but based on meditation. Yeah, every it's always
Speaker 1: been physical, and so me and you guys, so cool,
Speaker 1: We're going to do it together. It's awesome and so
Speaker 1: I love that and you know, we worked on that together.
Speaker 1: And I have three different types of meditation. So one
Speaker 1: type of meditation, breathwork, is for my body. So if
Speaker 1: i feeling like my body's tired, or I'm feeling like
Speaker 1: my body needs energy or my body needs to relax,
Speaker 1: I practice breathwork. Yeah. I then do visualization. So if
Speaker 1: I'm going into a scenario that causes me anxiety or fear,
Speaker 1: I will visualize not the perfect outcome, but the perfect process.
Speaker 1: So I'll visualize myself doing that process. So, for example,
Speaker 1: if I'm about to speak on stage to thousands of people,
Speaker 1: I won't visualize people clapping and thinking you're amazing. I'll
Speaker 1: visualize myself walking up those steps onto stage, walking back
Speaker 1: and forth on stage, looking at the audience in their eyes,
Speaker 1: connecting with people and their hearts and souls. So I'll
Speaker 1: visualize that it's important, it's so important. And then the
Speaker 1: third type of meditation I do is mantra and mantra
Speaker 1: to me is what connects me to the universe, connects
Speaker 1: me to God, connects me to my soul. It's what
Speaker 1: connects me to my service to the world. And so
Speaker 1: Mantra is my third. So I practice all three every morning,
Speaker 1: and each of them give me a different practice and
Speaker 1: different benefit that I need it for. If that makes sense, Yeah,
Speaker 1: it makes total sense. I change my meditations up frequently
Speaker 1: from I do mantra meditation sometimes and sometimes I do
Speaker 1: just guided meditations that are specifically for me, maybe for
Speaker 1: that week, things I'm really like, not necessarily trying to accomplish,
Speaker 1: but things that I put in my consciousness, things that
Speaker 1: I want to approach right. But more importantly, it just
Speaker 1: gives me right for the day. Man. It's like, like
Speaker 1: I said, it's like taking a shower, like after you
Speaker 1: work out and you take that shower and you're feeling fresh.
Speaker 1: Like That's what it does for my consciousness. My energy
Speaker 1: and things just flow better, you know what I'm saying.
Speaker 1: I feel like I'm literally living my vibration up to
Speaker 1: a higher place of like just to be successful, you
Speaker 1: know what I mean. And it all starts right there
Speaker 1: for me. You can't do it and right or wrong way.
Speaker 1: There's no there is no right or wrong in doing it.
Speaker 1: The fact you take the time out to be with yourself,
Speaker 1: to breathe and mind is going to race all over
Speaker 1: the place. Sometimes sometimes it doesn't, Sometimes it does. You
Speaker 1: bring it back to your breath, you bring it back
Speaker 1: to maybe whatever you're listening to. And just the fact
Speaker 1: that you take that time out to breathe and to
Speaker 1: spend that time on yourself, You're gonna feel an incredible
Speaker 1: difference every time. It's like a menu. Yeah, in the
Speaker 1: sense of when you go to eat at a restaurant.
Speaker 1: You don't want to eat the same thing every day, right,
Speaker 1: So one day you're feeling like, oh, I need a
Speaker 1: little bit of this, one day you need a little
Speaker 1: bit of that. And so I think we have to
Speaker 1: look at meditation. It's like, okay, well maybe I need
Speaker 1: to do an anxiety meditation to Yeah, well maybe I
Speaker 1: need to do a connection or a forgiveness meditation today
Speaker 1: an empathy And I think we're living at a time
Speaker 1: right now where you can choose whether you're on YouTube
Speaker 1: or Spotify or wherever you are right Janet has some
Speaker 1: phenomenal meditation mantras and meditation. Yeah, We actually just did
Speaker 1: one where we I led a meditation and she was
Speaker 1: sound healing at the same time. It was like an experience,
Speaker 1: I know, you know, it was our first time doing it,
Speaker 1: so we were trying it out. But it's something that
Speaker 1: you know, we wanted to just test out and try
Speaker 1: and people really enjoyed it and benefited from it. But
Speaker 1: it's so many different ways of getting that energy out there, right,
Speaker 1: like that, right, So yeah, there is no right or
Speaker 1: wrong way to do it. It's just, you know, I
Speaker 1: realized that it's the richest thing you could do for yourself,
Speaker 1: you know what I mean. And when I say that
Speaker 1: word rich, I don't just mean in like money, right,
Speaker 1: because you could be rich in a lot of ways,
Speaker 1: And I've experienced people who are rich in money and
Speaker 1: still broke in a lot of ways broke meaning broken, right.
Speaker 1: But to me, the richest thing you could do for
Speaker 1: yourself is to not only just make yourself a priority,
Speaker 1: but to take that time out to be in the
Speaker 1: best position you can be in, right, and to not
Speaker 1: be so caught up on what you want, just to
Speaker 1: kind of put the attention out there, because when you're
Speaker 1: so caught off on what you want it's so specific
Speaker 1: onto something, right, It's like I want this new blue mug.
Speaker 1: I want this new blue mug. But at the same
Speaker 1: time you're holding that vision of that new blue mug.
Speaker 1: It could be a green mug, a yellow mug, a
Speaker 1: gold mug that's sitting there waiting for you that's just
Speaker 1: as good or even better than this mug. But you're
Speaker 1: closing out all those possibilities. So it's important to you know.
Speaker 1: One of the things I do is I don't get
Speaker 1: so specific with our meditations. I just kind of say
Speaker 1: for the greater, for whatever it's best for me, or
Speaker 1: what's the greatest, you know, for my happiness from my joy,
Speaker 1: because that's where the real richness is, you know what
Speaker 1: I'm saying. We've seen people who have all the money
Speaker 1: in the world who have committed suicide, right or you know,
Speaker 1: or the lead singers or groups. You know, we talk
Speaker 1: about Chester, you know, we talk about Anthony Bourdaine, all
Speaker 1: these different people who you know, from the outside looking
Speaker 1: then you would never guess, you know what I mean,
Speaker 1: that they're going through something, and everybody is going through something.
Speaker 1: You know, that's important as a society that remember, everybody
Speaker 1: is going through something we talk like we don't care
Speaker 1: what people are going through or like, you know, they're
Speaker 1: not going through something. Everyone's going through something really really
Speaker 1: important right now and that's really it could be really
Speaker 1: really hard and even if they show it or not.
Speaker 1: And uh, I think that when you when you take
Speaker 1: the time to create a rich life for yourself, that
Speaker 1: is the best thing you could do, because when you
Speaker 1: take time to work on your intern or your external,
Speaker 1: it kind of takes the focus off trying to trying
Speaker 1: to worry or have anxiety about the things you can't
Speaker 1: change and realizing that the things you can't change can't
Speaker 1: change you, you know, So you get to that, you
Speaker 1: get to that that that point of being able to
Speaker 1: go through anything. It's like having armor on, you know,
Speaker 1: you're going through the storm, or having like layers on.
Speaker 1: It's like they can't even get to you for real.
Speaker 1: Every time I hear your talk, I shouldn't be surprised
Speaker 1: that you just constantly drop bus you do. But literally
Speaker 1: they were like, they're like seven things you just said
Speaker 1: that I want to like piece apart. One of the
Speaker 1: things that I think you just mentioned, which was so powerful,
Speaker 1: was just you're like, I don't I'm not. I don't
Speaker 1: get specific. Yeah, and I love that. I think that's
Speaker 1: actually such a fascinating thing because I think so much
Speaker 1: of what we're told today is be specific about what
Speaker 1: you want, being really specific about it. And the challenge
Speaker 1: is when you get too specific into that extreme yea,
Speaker 1: then you can't see what's right there in front of
Speaker 1: you that could be better, it could be a different way.
Speaker 1: And I've always thought of it as like you have
Speaker 1: a projector screen in your head, which is your imagination
Speaker 1: of what it should look like, and then you have
Speaker 1: reality happening here and you keep looking for this projection
Speaker 1: and you miss out, like you said, on the thing
Speaker 1: that's right there. And so yeah, I love that idea
Speaker 1: of not being specific because it releases you from your
Speaker 1: own insignificant goal. Yeah, right, it releases you. If I
Speaker 1: got everything I ever asked for, I wouldn't be here today. No,
Speaker 1: because my goals were way too small. My ideas were
Speaker 1: way too small, and the universe and God and energy
Speaker 1: had way bigger plans for me than I had for myself.
Speaker 1: I actually saw the interview did with Lauren London and
Speaker 1: she was talking about surrendering to the universe. You do
Speaker 1: you have to surrender and you have to realize that yeah, okay,
Speaker 1: And if you are specific, well then just always make
Speaker 1: sure and that you know specification that you put and
Speaker 1: more or and I'm open to whatever possibilities are are
Speaker 1: also available or what other you know options there are,
Speaker 1: you know, if you are specific, because we can be
Speaker 1: specific somewhere, but you can't just be too specific and
Speaker 1: leave it there like you were talking about. You know,
Speaker 1: you could say, hey, I want to have the number
Speaker 1: one podcast for you know that talks about mental health
Speaker 1: and all these things, right, but you know that's this
Speaker 1: this specification of that. It's even bigger than that. Yeah,
Speaker 1: you know what I mean, you're you're your show, everything
Speaker 1: you do is it's way bigger than that, you know,
Speaker 1: and it's but you're been to all of those expansive options.
Speaker 1: So I just hope people realize that, like whatever you
Speaker 1: want in life, first of all, wanting something is acknowledging
Speaker 1: the lack of it. Right. So remember in our last interview,
Speaker 1: I talked about God gives you what you ask for,
Speaker 1: so you have to really understand that it's you know,
Speaker 1: I kind of don't say I want anything anymore. I
Speaker 1: don't say that anymore. I say I desire or my intention.
Speaker 1: You know, I don't say I want it because I'm
Speaker 1: just acknowledging over and over that I don't have it,
Speaker 1: and I don't want to match that vibration of not
Speaker 1: having it anymore. So instead it's you know, this is
Speaker 1: my intention, my desire, and I put myself vibrationally on
Speaker 1: that frequency of already having it, already being there, and
Speaker 1: that for me works. You know, I don't know if
Speaker 1: that works for everyone else, but you know, try it
Speaker 1: if if life isn't going exactly how you want it
Speaker 1: to go, which you know is ninety nine percent of
Speaker 1: us in the world, try it that way. That's powerful
Speaker 1: for me. That hit right there because I've heard people
Speaker 1: talk about what want means before, but the way you
Speaker 1: explained it, when you want something, it's often can remove gratitude,
Speaker 1: and that doesn't stop you from desiring. And that's what
Speaker 1: I love. What you said, you say I desire, I intend,
Speaker 1: or my intention is it's not that you don't want
Speaker 1: to pursue or grow or evolve. It's just that the
Speaker 1: word want, as you correctly said, makes it feel like
Speaker 1: almost a sense of ingratitude for what you have right
Speaker 1: and the lack of it starts eating away where you're
Speaker 1: chasing now versus pursuing. I think of the difference between
Speaker 1: the word chase and pursue a difference. Chase feels desperate,
Speaker 1: it feels like fleeting. It feels like if I don't
Speaker 1: have it, I'm incomplete. Yeah, like I want this. Yeah
Speaker 1: I'm chasing this. It's like okay, like get I get that.
Speaker 1: And you know, especially in the industries we're in, it's like, yeah,
Speaker 1: it's great to have that hunger. You know, it is
Speaker 1: good to have that, but it's never cool to just
Speaker 1: be desperate. Like it's kind of like just always like
Speaker 1: realize those small things can make a big difference, especially
Speaker 1: when you're when you're manifesting something. You know. Yeah, I
Speaker 1: think that's great advice or manifestation. I think that's really powerful.
Speaker 1: And I liked what you said about I like what
Speaker 1: you said about gratitude though, yeah, yeah, tell me how
Speaker 1: important that is to you, Like how to how often
Speaker 1: do you practice like gratitude? Because I wake up every
Speaker 1: morning and I'm like, thank you man, thank you guy,
Speaker 1: like while I'm still half sleep, you know what I mean?
Speaker 1: Because bro, like we're on the blessed side of the spectrum,
Speaker 1: just the fact that we get to wake up. Yeah.
Speaker 1: I think gratitude is a daily, multiple times of day practice.
Speaker 1: Absolutely everything I was saying earlier today to someone that
Speaker 1: if something went wrong today, I would tell everyone about it.
Speaker 1: But if something went right today, right, probably wouldn't tell
Speaker 1: anyone about it, right, right, Like, so, if everything in
Speaker 1: my schedule went to plant, no one would hear about it.
Speaker 1: But everything in my schedule went not to plan, I
Speaker 1: would tell everyone, Oh my gosh, my flag got delayed,
Speaker 1: and then I like missed eating my lunch and then
Speaker 1: I was late for this and I would tell everyone
Speaker 1: about it. And what does that mean? Yeah, what does
Speaker 1: that mean? It means that we are not noticing the
Speaker 1: greatness and the gifts in our life when everything goes
Speaker 1: to plan and we don't share that. You never go
Speaker 1: to someone I was amazing, everything went to plan, like
Speaker 1: everything Like you wouldn't. You wouldn't say, oh, my flight
Speaker 1: was on time, that's amazing. We expect, we expect things
Speaker 1: to happen well. And when you expect something to happen well,
Speaker 1: you stop feeling gratitude for it. You stop feeling like, well, actually,
Speaker 1: I'm really fortunate that this happened on time. Yeah, and
Speaker 1: it makes it more pleasurable, right absolutely, when you got
Speaker 1: that gratitude and you know, you feel just better about it,
Speaker 1: like yeah, man, Like yeah, And I think also gratitude
Speaker 1: for everything from the smallest things, like to me, something
Speaker 1: I practiced with my wife, that's it came naturally and
Speaker 1: now I see it being beneficial. But if she's like
Speaker 1: helping me out with something she does the tiniest thing,
Speaker 1: being able to be grateful for that rather than thinking, oh,
Speaker 1: you're my wife, I expect you to do that, right.
Speaker 1: I just think the word expectation and the idea of
Speaker 1: expectations create a really unhealthy relationship with ourselves and with others.
Speaker 1: Right But yeah, setting expectations, that's like they're a recipe
Speaker 1: for disaster right there. It's like, you know, you gotta
Speaker 1: just first of all, the gratitude and letting somebody know
Speaker 1: that they're That's why every every almost I think every
Speaker 1: night at least that I can remember every night that
Speaker 1: I work, when I'm in a studio or working, when
Speaker 1: people always tell my engineer, like man, you did a
Speaker 1: great job. I love great working. You know, you could
Speaker 1: just see that they're wanted to keep doing a great job.
Speaker 1: Everyone who works with me like you, man, you're doing
Speaker 1: a great job. Like and not from just like my
Speaker 1: managers and everyone down to my assistant, to every person
Speaker 1: who's involved in my life, to my family members, my friends,
Speaker 1: I'd be like, man, you're doing a great job. That
Speaker 1: keep it up, and it just is. It's great too,
Speaker 1: And I mean it too. I'm not just saying it.
Speaker 1: It's not saying I mean it. If I didn't, if
Speaker 1: I didn't think they were doing a great job, I
Speaker 1: wouldn't say that, you know, I would just be like,
Speaker 1: do better. But but when they do a great job,
Speaker 1: you have to recognize that and not set yourself up
Speaker 1: for expectations, because that's that's a recipe for disaster. Man.
Speaker 1: It's like expecting anything out of life, you know, even
Speaker 1: expecting to wake up. It's like you can't even expect
Speaker 1: that that doesn't happen to everyone. Yeah, you know. So
Speaker 1: that's one of the when I read the book the
Speaker 1: four Agreements, and that's one of them. I think one
Speaker 1: of them was to not have expectations or something like yeah, yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: I feel like also what you just said, whatever you
Speaker 1: recognize in someone, they'll repeat it. And it took me
Speaker 1: a long time to realize that if I make someone
Speaker 1: feel bad for something they don't do well, they actually
Speaker 1: get scared to try and do it right. Right. If
Speaker 1: you make someone feel guilt teach yeah for something, they
Speaker 1: actually get more scared. So I used to do this.
Speaker 1: My wife's the best example where I got this wrong.
Speaker 1: For a long time when my wife didn't understand how
Speaker 1: to you know, what I wanted for my birthday or
Speaker 1: something like that, and I would feel, this is years
Speaker 1: ago when we were dating, like I don't know, maybe
Speaker 1: like eight years ago or something, okay, And I would
Speaker 1: tell her like, you don't you don't get me, like
Speaker 1: you don't understand me, Like that's not what I wanted.
Speaker 1: And I realized that I was so bad man, so bad.
Speaker 1: But I always thought that if I said that, then
Speaker 1: hopefully she would change and she would get it about
Speaker 1: how serious it is. Yeah, And then she told me
Speaker 1: years later that that just made her more scared and
Speaker 1: fearful to try and get me a gift on my
Speaker 1: birthday because she just felt she got it wrong all
Speaker 1: the time. And so we think that if we keep
Speaker 1: telling people they're getting it wrong, then they'll get it right. No,
Speaker 1: that doesn't work if you don't take the time to
Speaker 1: explain and to excommunication, communicate and articulate what you really
Speaker 1: are looking for and why and where that comes from.
Speaker 1: If you don't do that work, you can't expect someone
Speaker 1: to read your mind and understand you. Noah, you can.
Speaker 1: And we expect that so much from our partners right now, Avery,
Speaker 1: ships and everyone. We get attitudes with them, and it's
Speaker 1: just like, like like you said, they don't know where you're
Speaker 1: going through. You don't know what they're going through. And
Speaker 1: on top of that, we're all just doing our best
Speaker 1: out here. Man. Like when you if you honestly ask
Speaker 1: me like that, that's usually my answer for almost like
Speaker 1: how have you been doing? It's like I'm doing my best,
Speaker 1: you know, and we all are doing our best in
Speaker 1: these times right the world is going through so many
Speaker 1: things at once. You know. I was talking to said
Speaker 1: guru and he was telling me about how the soil
Speaker 1: is so messed up nowadays. You know, like we're getting
Speaker 1: forty percent of the amount of food that the amount
Speaker 1: of nutrition we used to get from food, we can
Speaker 1: only get forty percent of that now because of the
Speaker 1: soil has not been replenished, right, and that you know,
Speaker 1: the population and has gone from four billion, eight billion
Speaker 1: people from nineteen sixty to an hour or nine billion
Speaker 1: now and soon it's going to go from nine billion
Speaker 1: to thirteen billion, and you know, the next thirty some
Speaker 1: forty years. And they're saying that at that point, if
Speaker 1: we don't replenish the soil and take care of the
Speaker 1: oceans and many other things, that the famine is going
Speaker 1: to be not only at a crazy, crazy level we've
Speaker 1: never seen, but it's you know, food won't even be
Speaker 1: available and or or affordable. And you know, I was
Speaker 1: I was asking him, like, man, how do we like,
Speaker 1: how do we replenish the soil? And one of the things,
Speaker 1: there's a lot of ways that you know, I can
Speaker 1: talk about that another time, but one of the things
Speaker 1: I was thinking. He was saying that, you know, as humans,
Speaker 1: we're supposed to go back into the earth, mother nature,
Speaker 1: mother Earth. We're supposed to go back into and replenish
Speaker 1: the soil, you know, and enrich the soil. And I
Speaker 1: was thinking, how sometimes we like, you know, how we
Speaker 1: have like caskets and we like feel our our bodies,
Speaker 1: our shells with you know whatever it is the chemical
Speaker 1: to make us last forever. But it's like we're never
Speaker 1: gonna dig each We're never gonna dig I'm never gonna
Speaker 1: dig my grandfather up from his grave. It's like he
Speaker 1: needs to be replenished back into the earth, because if
Speaker 1: you think about it, that's just polluting the earth at
Speaker 1: that point. That's almost like trash on the ground when
Speaker 1: you and no disrespect you know, I don't mean that
Speaker 1: in any disrespectful way. I just mean in a scientific way.
Speaker 1: It's kind of like a matter that doesn't dispose. You know.
Speaker 1: I'm not trying to you see what you see what
Speaker 1: I'm saying, because it is a very sensitive thing, you know,
Speaker 1: to talk about my relatives or even my grandfather, who
Speaker 1: I love very much. But what I'm saying is it
Speaker 1: would have meant just as much as he would have
Speaker 1: disposed back and it became part of the soil and
Speaker 1: the earth, you know what I mean. And that's something
Speaker 1: to really pay attention to as the population girls and
Speaker 1: the space gets smaller and smaller, and we need to
Speaker 1: build more and more developments over the soil, that we
Speaker 1: really need to be feeding ourselves and taking care of
Speaker 1: the Earth with you know what I mean. Yeah, so
Speaker 1: that's that's something thing that the Earth is just going
Speaker 1: That's another thing Earth is going through. Aside from the world,
Speaker 1: you know, the possible world war is that could be
Speaker 1: upon us. And besides from all the conflict and the
Speaker 1: you know, all these borders and just countries where slavery
Speaker 1: is still going on and places is just you know,
Speaker 1: a crazy amount of problems on this list that you
Speaker 1: know that the world is going through, and we just
Speaker 1: have to like really really boss up and be our
Speaker 1: best selves and you know, take care of ourselves to
Speaker 1: present our greatest version to the world, you know, to
Speaker 1: help out anyway we can. Yeah, that's why this is
Speaker 1: so important. Yeah, how do you process that? I'm intrigued
Speaker 1: because I grew up with with that a lot as well.
Speaker 1: That exactly what you just said. You look around the world,
Speaker 1: whether it's poverty, racism, wool potential famine, Like you're just
Speaker 1: seeing all of this, and I think a lot of
Speaker 1: people look at all of that and they get really overwhelmed,
Speaker 1: they do, and then they feel helpless. And these are
Speaker 1: good people, these are people who care or they're empathetic people,
Speaker 1: of course, but then when they see all this, they
Speaker 1: just feel helpless and they feel confused, and they feel disheartened,
Speaker 1: and then they don't know what to do or how
Speaker 1: to help, and then they feel paralyzed. So in that situation,
Speaker 1: how do you process this? Well, how do you think
Speaker 1: about getting involved? Because the way I think about it
Speaker 1: is I realize that working on myself, as you rightly said,
Speaker 1: that's not going to solve it, but it helps me
Speaker 1: bring my best to this situation. Right, Like, if I'm
Speaker 1: in a mess, starts there to me and starts there. Yeah,
Speaker 1: it's like, if I'm in a mess myself, how can
Speaker 1: I remove any mess? The way it was explained when
Speaker 1: I lived as a monk is that if we ourselves
Speaker 1: are not trying to be purified, who are we to
Speaker 1: help cleanse anything? Right? So, how can you cleanse something
Speaker 1: externally if you're not purifying myself internally? It's not possible.
Speaker 1: But when you do that, the whole goal of working
Speaker 1: on yourself, and I think this is what you're often missed.
Speaker 1: The whole point of self care is service. It's the
Speaker 1: whole point of internal purification is to help detox and
Speaker 1: cleanse externally. Right That, to me, the whole purpose of
Speaker 1: self care is the complete opposite of being selfish, you know.
Speaker 1: It's it's actually, like you said, a service to the world.
Speaker 1: So when you are overwhelmed with all the anxiety of
Speaker 1: everything that's going on, you're overwhelmed with your you know,
Speaker 1: your personal problems and the world's problems, and just things
Speaker 1: seem to be too much. We all go through this.
Speaker 1: It is the most important thing to rely on the
Speaker 1: faith that everything is going to be okay, you know,
Speaker 1: and when you put your best foot forward, when you
Speaker 1: do take care of the extra steps to take care
Speaker 1: of yourself to bring your best foot forward, you realize,
Speaker 1: like we talked about last time, that the faith that
Speaker 1: you know, the reason that we're in this moment in
Speaker 1: the first places, because we have the ability to change
Speaker 1: this moment. The great part about being in any situation,
Speaker 1: whether you're up or down in life, is that it's
Speaker 1: an amazing opportunity and you have the ability to change
Speaker 1: every situation. Right. So, you know, when you have that faith,
Speaker 1: like I talked about that invisible bridge, when you have
Speaker 1: that faith that you can just walk across and you
Speaker 1: don't really see how you're going to get across, but
Speaker 1: you know, it's there and you step on that off
Speaker 1: that cliff on to where you don't see anything and
Speaker 1: you still haven't fallen. That's what faith is, and that's
Speaker 1: where we have to have in each other as a
Speaker 1: society and realize that the more conscious we are, the
Speaker 1: more we work on ourselves, the more steps we're taken
Speaker 1: to get to the to the other side of things.
Speaker 1: You know what I mean? Yeah, how do you think?
Speaker 1: How do you develop that? Because when I saw your
Speaker 1: face describing the faith in the invisible bread and the steps.
Speaker 1: When I watch you described that, I can see that
Speaker 1: it's realized. Yeah, it's it's a realization. For this isn't
Speaker 1: just some idea or something you read in a book
Speaker 1: or it's realized. How did you develop that faith over
Speaker 1: the years, because it was a step by step process
Speaker 1: in being able to see that, Because I think a
Speaker 1: lot of people if you try and fake that faith,
Speaker 1: it doesn't work. It doesn't work. And if you try
Speaker 1: and avoid that faith, that doesn't work because you need
Speaker 1: to have something like There was a amazing study I
Speaker 1: read recently and they said that people who were involved
Speaker 1: in wars and stuck in trenches and stuck in the
Speaker 1: most difficult situations known to humanity. When they had false
Speaker 1: hope and this is hope, not faith. When they had
Speaker 1: false hope, they actually felt more dejected. So if they
Speaker 1: had the false hope that will be back by Christmas
Speaker 1: and they didn't get back by Christmas, that would break
Speaker 1: their resolve. But if they believed we won't get back
Speaker 1: by Christmas, but we will get back, that allowed them
Speaker 1: to have faith to actually move forward. That simple shift
Speaker 1: was not putting a timeline, not putting a deadline, not
Speaker 1: having false hope, but having that long term faith. So
Speaker 1: I wonder, how do you how did you develop that?
Speaker 1: Because I think that's something that's not talked about enough,
Speaker 1: is how has it developed through life, through experiences, through
Speaker 1: setting deadlines, setting expectations for myself and not realizing them.
Speaker 1: From my worst fears what I thought was my worst
Speaker 1: fear of things that I wouldn't ever ever be able to,
Speaker 1: you know, recover from right or bounce back from. It's
Speaker 1: like these things, when they even happen, you realize that, Okay,
Speaker 1: I in the first place should never be mad at
Speaker 1: a timeline, because how can I be mad at a
Speaker 1: timeline or something I getting done or a deadline? When
Speaker 1: I'm on God's When I'm on moving at God's speed,
Speaker 1: I'm not moving at my speed. I can set my intention.
Speaker 1: I could give my attention to that intention of hopefully
Speaker 1: getting something done and make it done earlier. I may
Speaker 1: want to finish something by April, and it might get
Speaker 1: done in February. You know. I may want to get
Speaker 1: something done in April and it won't be done till
Speaker 1: next April. Who knows, because it's unknown. But when we
Speaker 1: embrace that unknown, which a lot of us is hard
Speaker 1: to do because you know, we always like to think
Speaker 1: about what's the worst that can happen instead of what's
Speaker 1: the best that can happen. I had to change my
Speaker 1: whole mindset to think, Okay, what's the best that could happen?
Speaker 1: You know, because I don't even want to attract what's
Speaker 1: the worst that could happen? That's like such a normal
Speaker 1: saying that I'm like, that's saying as whack. I had
Speaker 1: to switch. I had to flip it over to what's
Speaker 1: the best that could happen? You know what I mean?
Speaker 1: Because I have one hundred percent faith. It's the fact
Speaker 1: that we wake up every day that everything is going
Speaker 1: to be all right, you know, just you know, and
Speaker 1: get down to just the simplest things. I like. I
Speaker 1: love how you talk about breathing because you realize how
Speaker 1: much of a pleasure it is to breathe if you
Speaker 1: hold your breath and don't breathe for you know, I
Speaker 1: can hold my breath for like a minute and a
Speaker 1: half and you don't breathe, and then when you breathe
Speaker 1: and exhale and inhale, you realize how much of a
Speaker 1: pleasure it is for real to even just be on
Speaker 1: be here today breathing. Yeah, you know what I mean. Yeah,
Speaker 1: it's just we would choose to breathe over anything, if
Speaker 1: you had to be forced to choose, right, right, because
Speaker 1: everything else would not be an experience if you couldn't breathe. Yeah, right,
Speaker 1: that's not promise. Breath isn't promise, right, Yeah, your lungs
Speaker 1: could shut down the earth. The environment could change at
Speaker 1: any moment, you know, something a natural catastrophe or disaster.
Speaker 1: It could happen, and that could be immediately taken away
Speaker 1: from us. Recently, I was reading from reading from Victor
Speaker 1: Frankel's Man Search for Meaning Again, and I think it's
Speaker 1: called twelve Gifts for Life by Edith Eager. So they
Speaker 1: both survived the Holocaust, and I was reading that because
Speaker 1: of what's happening in the world, and to me, at
Speaker 1: this time, when the world's going through these things, the
Speaker 1: only people I can turn towards are the people who've
Speaker 1: lived through it, right. I often think that those are
Speaker 1: the people that can guide us the deepest. And so
Speaker 1: when people ask me for my guidance at these times,
Speaker 1: I go, let's look at these people's guidance, because they
Speaker 1: were actually there. Like Edith and Victor talk about them
Speaker 1: being in the concentration camps, seeing people dragged, seeing children abused,
Speaker 1: like this is all happening around them. And Edith Eager
Speaker 1: said something that I think you'll appreciate so much. She said,
Speaker 1: I realized, and I had to realize that I wasn't
Speaker 1: the prisoner, but the gods with the prisoners of their
Speaker 1: own conscience. And she goes, when I realized that I
Speaker 1: wasn't imprisoned the people who were being imprisoned by their
Speaker 1: hatred and imprisoned by their own pain, and imprisoned by
Speaker 1: their desire to dominate and control and to abuse people,
Speaker 1: that's the real prison. I was free, like you hear
Speaker 1: someone say that going through the most atrocious, horrendous thing
Speaker 1: they could possibly go through, But that was her mindset.
Speaker 1: She's still living. She survived and crazy thing to survive through, right,
Speaker 1: and to have that perspective. And she was saying that
Speaker 1: it was that perspective. It's what you're saying that in
Speaker 1: that moment, she had to rewire how she saw what
Speaker 1: was going on so that she could get through it. Yeah,
Speaker 1: if she just accepted it for what it was, she said,
Speaker 1: she would have lost that resolve. That's one of those
Speaker 1: lessons only life can teach you, right, she was she
Speaker 1: that's one of those lessons, Like we go through these
Speaker 1: things and the experiences that there's no other way to
Speaker 1: I just hope that people realize when they go through things,
Speaker 1: it doesn't have to be such a traumatic experience or
Speaker 1: such a detrimental thing, or such a you know, immeasurable
Speaker 1: loss or anything. It's you know, the fact that you're
Speaker 1: able to survive through the day. You know, there was
Speaker 1: somebody who got murdered around the corner from in the
Speaker 1: neighborhood I live in, and I'm just like, oh, you're
Speaker 1: saying actually right, yeah, like yesterday, Wow, Yeah, like in
Speaker 1: the same neighborhood and nice neighborhood. But my point is
Speaker 1: is that we take for granted how much of a
Speaker 1: blessing it is to be here right now and to
Speaker 1: wake up and be here, you know what I mean.
Speaker 1: So you know, we we learn these lessons, and I
Speaker 1: just hope that we can pay attention to the lessons
Speaker 1: that life teaches us, you know, because you have to
Speaker 1: really make a mental you have to really acknowledge what
Speaker 1: you're experiencing, or else it just goes in one ear
Speaker 1: and out the other. You have to learn the lesson,
Speaker 1: you know. And even that story you told me, she
Speaker 1: learned that lesson while she was in that concentration camp
Speaker 1: in the Holocaust. She learned that, Okay, you're actually the
Speaker 1: prisoner because you're trapped in your prison of your consciousness.
Speaker 1: And you know, if you wanting to dominate another person
Speaker 1: and trap another person that is already a prison. You know,
Speaker 1: I'm in here, I'm in a cage. But I'm the
Speaker 1: one who's free minded and free thinking and you know
Speaker 1: has faith that I'm gonna get past this and told
Speaker 1: two totally different experiences, right, So just embrace the experience
Speaker 1: that you're going through and realize it. You know, we
Speaker 1: got to We're releasing these bodies for a limited time only,
Speaker 1: right Like our experience here is very, very limited, So
Speaker 1: we got to we have to make something. You know,
Speaker 1: we can't just sit around and watch other people live
Speaker 1: their lives. We got to go out and figure out
Speaker 1: what that means for us, you know, and how you
Speaker 1: do that is you do you do the work on yourself.
Speaker 1: A lot of people may be watching this and may
Speaker 1: not know what they want to do. They don't don't
Speaker 1: know what they're passionate about. Maybe they just like being
Speaker 1: on the internet all day, maybe they just like watching
Speaker 1: movies and TV all day. But you know, you can't
Speaker 1: figure out exactly what you're all the way passionate about
Speaker 1: until you actually try things, try things out. I had
Speaker 1: to try things myself because I didn't really know what
Speaker 1: I was passionate about besides music. I had to go
Speaker 1: jump out of a plane. I had to like try
Speaker 1: two things start working out. I had to, you know,
Speaker 1: do hikes and be like I really like hiking, Like
Speaker 1: I really like this, you know what I'm saying. You know,
Speaker 1: I think that's one of the things. One of the
Speaker 1: quickest escapes people can go to is like drugs, right,
Speaker 1: It's like an instant escape and a way to get high.
Speaker 1: But man, there's so many other ways to get high,
Speaker 1: you know what I'm saying in life without without using that.
Speaker 1: And I don't not even to sound like, you know,
Speaker 1: you know, corny or whatever whatever people may think that sounds,
Speaker 1: But it's like there are a lot of ways you
Speaker 1: know too, that I've been high off of life that
Speaker 1: a drug could never give me. You know what I'm
Speaker 1: I'm saying, like the type of high that is like
Speaker 1: God given that only the universe can provide. You know, Well,
Speaker 1: that's the best, that's the best high. It's well s
Speaker 1: you know, it's in the scriptures. It's called the higher taste. Yeah.
Speaker 1: Like the idea that when you it's almost like when
Speaker 1: you look at a child. If you give a child
Speaker 1: a popsicle, the child will want that, yeah. And if
Speaker 1: you try and give a child a diamond or a
Speaker 1: million dollar investment, they won't understand it, yeah, and they're like,
Speaker 1: I'd rather have this popsicle. Yeah. But then when that
Speaker 1: child gets older and matures, they go, oh, that investment
Speaker 1: or that thing could have been more valuable, And so
Speaker 1: what we see as a valuable experience changes as we mature.
Speaker 1: And it's what you said about experiences is so true.
Speaker 1: RADI and I recently we try and do something every
Speaker 1: month that we do that's random that we wouldn't expect
Speaker 1: to do. So recently we went to a rage room. Yeah,
Speaker 1: and I had no desire that. So a rage room
Speaker 1: they give you baseball bats and lead pipes and stuff
Speaker 1: and you smashed stuff up. Yeah, And so we went
Speaker 1: to that, and me and Rather are both not angry people, like,
Speaker 1: we're not aggressive people in general, but we were like,
Speaker 1: we have to go experiment because if we don't experiment,
Speaker 1: how do you know? Right, you got to go check
Speaker 1: it out. So it was hilarious to watch us because
Speaker 1: we were both like, you know, we were both like
Speaker 1: not violent people, and so we're struggling. Then we realized
Speaker 1: something really interesting. They told me afterwards. I wish they
Speaker 1: told me before. They said, if you go there and
Speaker 1: you're stressed out because your boyfriend broke up with you,
Speaker 1: or someone's been rude to you, or you've been offended,
Speaker 1: then it will distress you. But if you go there
Speaker 1: when you're not stressed, the research shows that you leave stressed.
Speaker 1: So that was being my wife. We went there not
Speaker 1: stressed and we left with stressed. It was actually stressful
Speaker 1: to cause rage when you don't feel any huh. And so,
Speaker 1: but so that was an experience that didn't go well, Right,
Speaker 1: you got to try it. But that's okay, You're got
Speaker 1: to try it, and so and you and the fact
Speaker 1: that you two were together, it's probably just it's something
Speaker 1: that you always remember, right, Yes, So in hindsight, it
Speaker 1: probably was a pleasurable experience, a funny story now we
Speaker 1: get to tell and be like, we did this thing.
Speaker 1: It didn't work out. But I think that's what you're saying,
Speaker 1: that we have to just experience more an experiment more
Speaker 1: rather than turn to the obvious things that we've seen
Speaker 1: over society, like as you said, like drugs and alcohol
Speaker 1: or any of these things that can become painful in
Speaker 1: the long run, as opposed to what you said, Hey,
Speaker 1: whether it's going for a hike, or whether it's doing
Speaker 1: this thing or that thing, or whatever it may be.
Speaker 1: So I think that's that's just really simple practical advice
Speaker 1: that anyone can follow. Yeah, and you know, and I'm
Speaker 1: not judging anybody who does that too. You know, because
Speaker 1: how do we have That's one thing I want people
Speaker 1: to remember too, Like we don't have the right to
Speaker 1: judge anybody going through anything when we sit up and
Speaker 1: judge each other all day on social media or in
Speaker 1: real life too. And you know that's uh, you know,
Speaker 1: I want to tie that back to another thing that
Speaker 1: I was talking about, because everyone is going through something
Speaker 1: you never know, right, But that's not even a it's
Speaker 1: a it's a very conditional thing to try and keep
Speaker 1: up an image or a facade, right. And you know,
Speaker 1: even like money is such a conditional thing. Like that's
Speaker 1: why when I say rich, Yeah, you could be rich
Speaker 1: in money, but it's conditional, right, So when that money goes,
Speaker 1: you're not even rich anymore. It's like if you took
Speaker 1: all the money away from me or anyone or anyone
Speaker 1: around me or my family, we are at a point
Speaker 1: where we were rich before we have money, you know
Speaker 1: what I'm saying, because of the rich practices that we
Speaker 1: were taught, you know, which is you know, to take
Speaker 1: care of your you know, to take care of yourself
Speaker 1: early on with which is a lesson that I kind
Speaker 1: of put on a back burner and went through experienced
Speaker 1: life and was hiding me and beat me up, and
Speaker 1: I had to take a step back and reaffirm the
Speaker 1: things that I already knew, but really strengthen them up,
Speaker 1: you know what I mean? And that that is that
Speaker 1: is being rich for real, you know, because money is conditional,
Speaker 1: and that's the energy we've assigned it. It's the currency
Speaker 1: of you know, our our uh. I guess you could
Speaker 1: say just our countries are are living the way we live.
Speaker 1: But really, you know, time is like the currency of
Speaker 1: our universe, you know, and love is like the currency
Speaker 1: of all you know, love is every love is God. Right,
Speaker 1: So I know I'm kind of rambling. Yeah, that resonates, man. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I just want people to get that though, man, because
Speaker 1: it's like trying not to judge. You're just wasting when
Speaker 1: you judging somebody else, You're really just wasting your time. Yeah,
Speaker 1: you're really just giving somebody else your energy that's so valuable.
Speaker 1: You could be building something. You'd be building a mountain
Speaker 1: with that energy. You could be building a mountain or
Speaker 1: a future, or or career or something else, and instead
Speaker 1: you're really worried about somebody else or tearing somebody else down.
Speaker 1: That just it just doesn't make sense. It's so easy
Speaker 1: to do though, it's so easy for a lot of people.
Speaker 1: It gives you a quick boost, it gives you a
Speaker 1: quick Yeah, it does because I think it makes people
Speaker 1: feel good in the moment or you know who. I
Speaker 1: can't speak for people, but I think we can get
Speaker 1: obsessed with validation and like retweets or like a lot
Speaker 1: of likes, or like getting a reaction or getting attention.
Speaker 1: But you know, one of the things that I've realized
Speaker 1: is that people kind of put morals to the side.
Speaker 1: You know, they will literally leak something of you is
Speaker 1: very private. It could be a new it could be
Speaker 1: a thing, it could be something, and they put all
Speaker 1: the morals aside and be like, oh, this is gonna
Speaker 1: get a lot of attention, so I'm gonna put it out.
Speaker 1: I don't care where he's going. It doesn't matter where
Speaker 1: he's going through. Like, you know, but really, and I'm
Speaker 1: not just speaking about me, I'm talking about anyone like
Speaker 1: that person could be going through, could be on the edge,
Speaker 1: and that pushes him over the edge. You never know,
Speaker 1: So just always keep that in mind, like that's you
Speaker 1: don't don't like it's okay to you know, want a
Speaker 1: lot of retweets and want a lot of love and
Speaker 1: likes and stuff. We all, you know, we all do that.
Speaker 1: We're we're a professional. So yeah, when we touch and
Speaker 1: communicate with a lot of people and people show love,
Speaker 1: that's great. But I just wanted to I want to
Speaker 1: prioritize that, you know, at least I do, and realize
Speaker 1: that my morals come first though. Yeah, you know what
Speaker 1: I mean. And and what you just said is making
Speaker 1: sure that whatever we're doing is not at the expense
Speaker 1: of someone else, you know what I mean. So you
Speaker 1: want to act in a way that doesn't cost anyone
Speaker 1: else anything, exactly right. You don't want to exactly what
Speaker 1: I was trying to say. Yeah, you don't want to
Speaker 1: make someone pay for what you behave as right. You
Speaker 1: never want that, And because none of us want to
Speaker 1: be in that situation, and I think that's what we
Speaker 1: disconnect with the One of the things I had to
Speaker 1: learn is to learn to stop judging people who judge others. Yeah,
Speaker 1: so I had the judgment of people who judge and
Speaker 1: I'll be like, well, you should stop judging, and I'm like, wait,
Speaker 1: but that is a judge. That's a judgment, Like that's
Speaker 1: a judgment, and so it's like, okay, well, well let
Speaker 1: me meet that person with compassion and understanding. Yeah, I
Speaker 1: unders because we understand it, because I do it, And
Speaker 1: we can't judge. We only have to like, you know,
Speaker 1: at least I can only speak for myself, Like I've
Speaker 1: learned to just stop judging. People realize we're all humans.
Speaker 1: If we weren't here to learn something, or we were perfect,
Speaker 1: we wouldn't even be here. We would already be on
Speaker 1: our next on the next wave of you know, existence
Speaker 1: or whatever comes next. You know absolutely. What's what's been
Speaker 1: the most recent thing you were talking about learning life's lessons?
Speaker 1: What do you think has been the most recent life lesson,
Speaker 1: big or small, that's come across your path that's kind
Speaker 1: of stayed with you or been on your mind. I
Speaker 1: just wonder, because you know, we always talk about learning
Speaker 1: lessons through life, and people think that they have to
Speaker 1: be these huge, big ones, but sometimes it's just something
Speaker 1: every day. But what's it been for you? Has there
Speaker 1: been anything that's studid? Yeah, to have fun nice, to
Speaker 1: make everything you're doing fun. It because we're here for
Speaker 1: such a limited time, and when we see somebody pass away,
Speaker 1: that's close to us or someone we idolize, our heroes
Speaker 1: or family members, our friends, whatever. Just you know, you
Speaker 1: gotta realize that, Okay, I do work, but I need
Speaker 1: to make this fun because that is the key to happiness, right,
Speaker 1: and I feel like that is to me, the only
Speaker 1: thing that really mean, that's real success is when you're happy.
Speaker 1: So you gotta have fun with whatever you're doing, like
Speaker 1: you have to. And if it's not fun, you gotta
Speaker 1: make it fun or do something else, you know, even
Speaker 1: if it pays your bills or anything. Like, you gotta like,
Speaker 1: if you just approach it like that, I'm telling you
Speaker 1: to hold something that may be so depressing to you
Speaker 1: can completely change that job you may have been working on.
Speaker 1: I've been doing this since I was eleven years old,
Speaker 1: by the way, making music, you know. And obviously I
Speaker 1: want to do other things with my life like I
Speaker 1: mean you were. I want to write a book. I
Speaker 1: can't wait for that. Yeah, because you know, I've learned
Speaker 1: so many lessons, like from you or from Deepak. You know.
Speaker 1: I get to sit with side Guru and my mom especially,
Speaker 1: I get to sit with Jenney, I get to sit
Speaker 1: with all these amazing I get to sit with Marie Diamond,
Speaker 1: I get to sit with a lot of people who
Speaker 1: know so much and that I know that it's one
Speaker 1: of my life purposes to put that information into you know,
Speaker 1: and all the experiences I've been through, all the testaments
Speaker 1: I've seen, all the just magic that I've witnessed in
Speaker 1: my life. You know, that's the reason I want to
Speaker 1: write a book. I'm not doing it because oh, it's
Speaker 1: the cool thing for your career to do, like write
Speaker 1: a book. Like, I feel like I have to write
Speaker 1: a book because it's like one of my missions for humanity.
Speaker 1: I want to read that book. Man. Yeah, I think
Speaker 1: it's fascinating hearing about everyone's journey to how they started
Speaker 1: going inward. Yeah, right, Like that's what's fascinating. Yeah, Like
Speaker 1: we always books are always written about the journey outwards.
Speaker 1: What did you succeed, what did you achieve? Where did
Speaker 1: you get to? But to be books that are about
Speaker 1: the journey inward, right, we need to tell those stories
Speaker 1: because those are the journeys we struggle to take even more. Yeah,
Speaker 1: and those are the those are the journeys that are
Speaker 1: a little bit more untold, right, yes, yeah, unseen that
Speaker 1: we need to relate to and especially my people who
Speaker 1: listen to me, Like, I feel like I really need
Speaker 1: to do that. And but that is one thing I've
Speaker 1: learned though, to just to go back to what you said,
Speaker 1: it's like to have fun with it. Make sure you
Speaker 1: have fun with it and make it fun. Like bring
Speaker 1: whatever you think is fun to whatever you have to do.
Speaker 1: Like if you think, well, I think VI playing video
Speaker 1: games was fun, well, then bring that to work somehow,
Speaker 1: like figure out a way to like incorporate that or
Speaker 1: figure out a way to balance that in into your
Speaker 1: life somehow. Like you can't let go of the fun
Speaker 1: of anything, because then everything just gets depressing. Yeah, you know,
Speaker 1: you get wiped out and you're not even doing a
Speaker 1: service to anyone at that point. Yeah, And I think
Speaker 1: that's the interesting thing. It's a simple lesson though, right,
Speaker 1: it's a beauty. But that's what I love about it, Yeah,
Speaker 1: because it doesn't have to be this deep, profound lesson Like, yeah,
Speaker 1: usually the simple ones are there. The girls like like
Speaker 1: for mine, it's been prioritizing rest, Like I love prioritizing
Speaker 1: rest and refuel like one of my favorite man like
Speaker 1: I need That's that's something I still have not deep rest, right,
Speaker 1: deep rest rest like letting yourself just have this deep silence, stillness, calmness,
Speaker 1: whatever gives that to you. I find like being able
Speaker 1: to one of the things I really do enjoy doing,
Speaker 1: and I think it's fun. And that's why fun is
Speaker 1: such a wide word. Is doing like a sensory deprivation tank.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, So like when I'm sitting in a sensory
Speaker 1: deprivation tank, my senses are off. It's actually a beautiful
Speaker 1: experience for me. That's deep rest, and that is fun
Speaker 1: for me because I'm no longer like dealing with any
Speaker 1: of the challenges or stresses or pressures. I'm able to
Speaker 1: just be. Yeah. So inside of you it's magnesium and water.
Speaker 1: You naturally float. For anyone who's never done it before,
Speaker 1: you can go in there for half an hour hour
Speaker 1: to dark. Yeah it's dark. Some of them, if they're
Speaker 1: a bit boot, they have the lights, the lights of
Speaker 1: the music, like a little bit of moody Yeah, moody
Speaker 1: lights mood to music. But the idea is to just
Speaker 1: not let your senses be triggered. And I find that's
Speaker 1: what I crave is letting my senses no longer be
Speaker 1: overexposed or overstimulated. One of my favorite things to do
Speaker 1: is look out into the distance to what sunsets, to
Speaker 1: what's the sunrise, to just look at the sky, because
Speaker 1: I find it's the least overstimulating thing in our lives.
Speaker 1: When you look at your phone, you're overstimulated. To switch
Speaker 1: on the news, you're overexposed. Everything's overwhelming, and time for yourself. Correct.
Speaker 1: I love to do anything that helps me understand myself,
Speaker 1: that helps me underwhelm myself. Yeah, that helps me underwind, Yeah,
Speaker 1: unwind myself. That's what I crave. And I've realized that
Speaker 1: that's my reward to myself. Let's not just a luxury
Speaker 1: that that is necessary. It's a part of richness. It's
Speaker 1: a part of richness. It is um And I think
Speaker 1: that the mentality that I've experienced and that I've always
Speaker 1: had is like you have to like stay on it.
Speaker 1: You have to stay on it, like and almost to
Speaker 1: a point where I feel like I didn't deserve rest.
Speaker 1: Sometimes I didn't. I just I didn't deserve it, Like
Speaker 1: I'm not almost finished for my stuff. I gotta keep going.
Speaker 1: I can't, you know. But that was totally the wrong.
Speaker 1: That was me coming from a place of desperation and
Speaker 1: not a place of knowing and having faith, because you know,
Speaker 1: rest is one of the many joys of our life. Man,
Speaker 1: going to sleep, having that good sleep like those and
Speaker 1: you know, by the way, that's the moment a lot
Speaker 1: of times when we're in that deep sleep, though, those
Speaker 1: are the moments that a lot of visions and a
Speaker 1: lot of inspiration and a lot of ideas are transmuted
Speaker 1: to us. And you know, we're just a vessel, so
Speaker 1: you know that we sometimes we go to a higher
Speaker 1: place when we're sleeping and at our most relaxed state. Right,
Speaker 1: So I have been learning to get rest. I go
Speaker 1: to sleep kind of weird times, especially when I'm making music,
Speaker 1: Like I'll go to sleep at like three or four
Speaker 1: in the morning with music terrible. Yeah, you know what
Speaker 1: I mean. But it is nothing like getting some good rest, man,
Speaker 1: nothing like it. But will you just you deserve it,
Speaker 1: and you and people deserve it. People would think that
Speaker 1: they don't deserve rest or you know, they work two
Speaker 1: jobs and all those things, Like you deserve that rest man,
Speaker 1: And like longevity is better than anything. You can burn
Speaker 1: yourself out and go double ships, triple ships don't need sleep,
Speaker 1: only need two three hours to sleep. All that get
Speaker 1: your rest, man, get that rest, Get as much rest
Speaker 1: as you need, because when you fully rest it, that's
Speaker 1: when you can really make real waves in whatever industry
Speaker 1: or whatever dream you have, or whatever thing you got
Speaker 1: going on. You know. Yeah, I was actually just about
Speaker 1: to say that. I think that's the most powerful thing
Speaker 1: you said that as you were sharing that the idea
Speaker 1: that we don't give ourself permission for things we don't deserve.
Speaker 1: So we don't give ourselves the mission to rest if
Speaker 1: we don't feel we deserve rest. And a lot of
Speaker 1: us don't feel we deserve rest. We don't feel we
Speaker 1: deserve fun, we don't feel we deserve joy, and so
Speaker 1: we don't allow ourselves to have that feeling. And as
Speaker 1: you were saying that you use that word deserve, I
Speaker 1: was like, I just want everyone to stop, everyone's listening
Speaker 1: right now to this episode or watching this episode, to
Speaker 1: just stop and think, what are you not feeling like
Speaker 1: you deserve? Yeah, people feel like they might not deserve
Speaker 1: real love. I don't deserve a partner, I don't deserve
Speaker 1: the rest. I don't deserve to go out and have fun.
Speaker 1: I haven't been getting enough work done. Like that's all crazy.
Speaker 1: None of that stuff is connected to each other. Man,
Speaker 1: Like take care of take care of yourself first or foremost,
Speaker 1: and watch how more beautiful your life unfolds. Absolutely, I
Speaker 1: want to ask you something though we're on the flip
Speaker 1: side of that. You know, I've been thinking about recently,
Speaker 1: this idea of how you do things that are good
Speaker 1: for you even when you don't feel like it, because
Speaker 1: you don't always feel like doing things that are actually
Speaker 1: good for you, right, and so we try and avoid
Speaker 1: them because of how we feel right now, right? How
Speaker 1: do you find yourself doing that? With the gym, with meditation,
Speaker 1: with everything that you're saying, whether it's in the studio,
Speaker 1: how have you been able to go and get over
Speaker 1: that initial feeling of I don't want to meditate today,
Speaker 1: or I don't want to sleep early today, or I
Speaker 1: don't want to work out today. How do you work
Speaker 1: through that voice in your head when it comes to
Speaker 1: self care. It's not this. You can set a schedule,
Speaker 1: but there are times where you're gonna have to wake
Speaker 1: up earlier, you're gonna have to get right to something right,
Speaker 1: You're gonna have to maybe meditate later on in the
Speaker 1: day you may not even get a chance to. But
Speaker 1: that's the beauty of First of all, it's the beauty
Speaker 1: of the short meditations that I mean you went over
Speaker 1: like the two minute meditations, right, it doesn't have to
Speaker 1: be fifteen minutes where, you know, because I like I
Speaker 1: take a thing I do with things where I like
Speaker 1: write my goals. I do this, I write my intentions
Speaker 1: for the day I met. I meditate for fifteen twenty minutes.
Speaker 1: Then I sit my tea. You know, I take time.
Speaker 1: I take an hour to myself, and a lot of
Speaker 1: times I don't always have that, right, Sometimes I do
Speaker 1: it later in the day when I do have time,
Speaker 1: and the days that I don't have time to do that,
Speaker 1: I'll be like, well, I'm at least gonna do this.
Speaker 1: There's a bare minimum, and even if it's a two
Speaker 1: or three minute meditation, or to be honest with you,
Speaker 1: there have been days where I was completely exhausted and
Speaker 1: did nothing, and honestly I deserved those days. You know,
Speaker 1: there are days where you turn your phone out of
Speaker 1: day that like not too long ago, where I put
Speaker 1: my phone in the drawer, I had to leave it.
Speaker 1: I didn't pick it back up. Till like midnight and
Speaker 1: when I was about to go to sleep, and I
Speaker 1: didn't go to the studio that day. I didn't do anything.
Speaker 1: I just needed time to myself. You have to listen
Speaker 1: to yourself, and when you listen to yourself, you have
Speaker 1: to ask, well, why don't I feel like doing this? Why? Why?
Speaker 1: Who doesn't want to take care of themselves? Right? And
Speaker 1: maybe you just need some time to just be lazy. Man,
Speaker 1: That's okay, Yeah, that's that is okay. But it's the
Speaker 1: fact that you know better. When you know better, you're
Speaker 1: already and headed in the right direction. So when when
Speaker 1: you don't take care of yourself right, when you don't
Speaker 1: work out or you don't meditate, you're gonna be like,
Speaker 1: oh man, I don't feel I feel like I should
Speaker 1: have kind of you know, yeah, yeah, And it eventually
Speaker 1: get you right back on track if you're a disciplined person. Yeah. So,
Speaker 1: which I advise people to try and be disciplined with
Speaker 1: the things that give you joy. You know, there's two
Speaker 1: things don't always you don't feel like they go together, no, Yeah,
Speaker 1: but you gotta remember, having fun is a serious thing,
Speaker 1: you know what I mean? Yeah, it is. You got
Speaker 1: to be serious about your fun. That that is actually it. Yeah,
Speaker 1: we got that that that was the idea of how
Speaker 1: you strike that donce. You got to be disciplined about
Speaker 1: your joy. Fun is a serious thing for sure, And
Speaker 1: I think that's what we lose we go now fun
Speaker 1: just needs to be completely random and then you know,
Speaker 1: joy needs to be completely random. But no, it's that
Speaker 1: concentrated focused creation and development of that. Yeah, life at
Speaker 1: this point in your life, you know, we talked about
Speaker 1: this last time we talked about your journey. We talked
Speaker 1: about where you got to the reflection you had the
Speaker 1: mountain you climbed and then looked around and was like,
Speaker 1: well is this it like this? You know, Yeah, at
Speaker 1: this point in your life, what have your new dreams
Speaker 1: hot space been like? Like, what's been going on in
Speaker 1: your heart and mind about who you want to be
Speaker 1: and what you want to do and what you want
Speaker 1: to create? Man, I've really just been like, Okay, how
Speaker 1: can I impact the world at this point? Because I'm
Speaker 1: in a position, right, I have a platform, I've done
Speaker 1: a lot of things I wanted to do musically, right,
Speaker 1: I've experienced like so many beautiful things, and I remember
Speaker 1: all I wanted was a song on the radio, right,
Speaker 1: But I didn't limit myself to that right by just
Speaker 1: being so specific. I always was like, I want a song,
Speaker 1: whatever else I could get, you know, whatever else comes
Speaker 1: with that. And so lately I've just been thinking how
Speaker 1: can I impact the world, How can I use my
Speaker 1: platform to change the world and look back and be like, Wow,
Speaker 1: that was something that meant something. That's something that my
Speaker 1: grandkids could look at and say, man, Granddad really did that,
Speaker 1: you know, and make that impact to people or listeners
Speaker 1: or anyone that's tuned into my frequency, you know what
Speaker 1: I mean. How can I impact them? How can I
Speaker 1: make the best use of this opportunity, this life I have,
Speaker 1: this body I have, That's kind of where my motivation
Speaker 1: has been at. So I put that into my music.
Speaker 1: I put that into Okay, we're getting my book together.
Speaker 1: I put that into you know, since these COVID restrictions
Speaker 1: are up, it's kind of like, how do I want
Speaker 1: to see people alive? Yeah, Coachell is coming up. Yeah,
Speaker 1: Like what experience do I want to give people? You know,
Speaker 1: and also to not take away from what makes me happy,
Speaker 1: and you know, that's being with the people I love,
Speaker 1: you know, just figuring out how we can change the
Speaker 1: world and aligning my people, my team with that, and
Speaker 1: you know, I'm looking forward to just living. I'm looking
Speaker 1: forward to starting a family at the right time. Yeah,
Speaker 1: and just we got time that. Yeah, it's all on guys. Yeah, yeah, yeah, exactly. Yeah. Yeah.
Speaker 1: Relationships are deep, boy, they are deep. But but that is, uh,
Speaker 1: that is to me like where I'm out of my life,
Speaker 1: you know what I mean, I'm not really trying. I'm
Speaker 1: not in the same place I was when I was
Speaker 1: a teenager, when I was in my twenties, so I'm
Speaker 1: in a whole different way of Okay, how can I
Speaker 1: impact the world? Yeah, you know what i mean with
Speaker 1: with the opportunity that I've been given with this platform
Speaker 1: I've been given. Yeah, and that And that's such a
Speaker 1: brilliant acceptance because for so many people, when they get
Speaker 1: up the first mountain, it becomes about the second mountain,
Speaker 1: and then the third mountain, and then the fourth mountain,
Speaker 1: and they just keep climbing mountains and it doesn't change
Speaker 1: how they feel. And so for you to already have
Speaker 1: that realization and go the real mountain, I want to
Speaker 1: climb as the impact and the service and the joy
Speaker 1: and the happiness. That's that's a beautiful thing. And we
Speaker 1: were talking about this earlier our flying about relationships and
Speaker 1: you know your relationships obviously with Jenne was something that
Speaker 1: you've been investing in. Yeah, like it's been a it's
Speaker 1: been a commitment, it's been an investment. Obviously we've spent
Speaker 1: time together and she's been an amazing guest on the
Speaker 1: show as well. And I actually met her first before
Speaker 1: I met you. Yeah, and she's incredible, Like you know,
Speaker 1: and when I found out you two were together, I
Speaker 1: was like, this makes so much sense. But but walk
Speaker 1: me through whatever you feel comfortable with. Walk me through
Speaker 1: some of the journeys in what it's meant to create
Speaker 1: a Hunches partnership and what's the real work that goes
Speaker 1: behind that, because you know, we will have our baggage
Speaker 1: and our truma and issues from our past relationships, our parents,
Speaker 1: so many things. What's going into crofting and what you're
Speaker 1: trying to croft Wow, that's that's really deep too. About
Speaker 1: let's make sure we touch back on like traumas and yeah,
Speaker 1: things that we inherit from our parents, you know, because
Speaker 1: we inherit. I'm actually I'll do that we'll talk about that, yeah,
Speaker 1: and then I can get that like, Yeah, one of
Speaker 1: the things I've had to do in my life is
Speaker 1: clear some of the blockages that I've had, and you know,
Speaker 1: all in different ways, all through different people, And that's
Speaker 1: something that I may want to get more detailed in
Speaker 1: with people too, because people are going to say, well,
Speaker 1: how do I clear these blockages within me? And there
Speaker 1: are many, many ways and many people that people that
Speaker 1: I've met with that have been able to, you know,
Speaker 1: help me. And you know, I used to have a
Speaker 1: worrymount of money was one of them. Just like you
Speaker 1: can inherit your parents hair, or you can inherit their eyes,
Speaker 1: or you can inherit their you know. I remember my
Speaker 1: dad used to be like, oh, I used to smile
Speaker 1: just like you did. You know. It's like you can
Speaker 1: inherit a smile. You can also inherit someone's fears. You
Speaker 1: can also inherit someone's beliefs that aren't in alignment with you.
Speaker 1: You know, your own, and you feel very conflicted, you
Speaker 1: can inherit just a lot of You can inherit pain.
Speaker 1: You can inherit racism, and you could be like, well,
Speaker 1: I'm not a racist person. But I know, I know
Speaker 1: someone who's like, bro, I'm not a racist person. But
Speaker 1: then they call every black person a kid. You know,
Speaker 1: it's good. That's a good kid. And I'm like, you
Speaker 1: gotta watch yourself a little bit. Man. It's like, you know,
Speaker 1: just pay attention to that, because you don't refer to
Speaker 1: people who are who look like you as a kid,
Speaker 1: and so you might refer to somebody who's a kid
Speaker 1: that's the same age, almost the same age as you.
Speaker 1: You know, so it's like you inherit these things. You
Speaker 1: may not even realize it, right, And it's important to
Speaker 1: just do the work on yourself because to push the
Speaker 1: next it's like also breaking generational curses. It's like, but
Speaker 1: I broke one of the blocker just as I had,
Speaker 1: and now my family we are living, We are getting
Speaker 1: more of our dreams out. My mom is doing things
Speaker 1: that she never thought she would do. My dad, my brother,
Speaker 1: you know, we grew up in debt essentially, and we
Speaker 1: I had to break that. That was one of the
Speaker 1: blocks I had to break, was the block of month
Speaker 1: of not be scared to have money, feel like there's
Speaker 1: a scarcity of money and it's not you know, it's
Speaker 1: it's all just energy, right, and you can have as
Speaker 1: much energy as needed and to clear all these blocks.
Speaker 1: But I'm gonna get back to my point. It is
Speaker 1: so important to go through these blocks and these traumas
Speaker 1: because when you pass it on to not only just
Speaker 1: the next generation, you passing on to the people around you,
Speaker 1: your friends, your family. You know you are, you are
Speaker 1: the company you keep, and the more like minded and
Speaker 1: better you are, the better everyone around you is, including
Speaker 1: your family. Right, and you guys can have the opportunity
Speaker 1: to do anything that is possible, anything you want, any
Speaker 1: any empire or any business, any ownership, things that you
Speaker 1: didn't even know was imaginable. But it all starts with
Speaker 1: you working on yourself. And that's the importance of you know,
Speaker 1: the traumas. It's almost like, well, why would I want
Speaker 1: to correct you know, cancer runs in our family. Breast
Speaker 1: cancer runs in our family. Why would I want to
Speaker 1: correct that? Well, you want to correct that, so you know,
Speaker 1: pass it on and you know the vibration of cancer
Speaker 1: is a low vibration. You know what I'm saying. So
Speaker 1: you know it's important to take care of ourselves and
Speaker 1: get rid of that trauma. But okay, that was beautiful.
Speaker 1: But I'm so glad you went that. Yeah, I'm so
Speaker 1: happy you went that because that the idea of being
Speaker 1: aware of what we're inheriting is so important, especially when
Speaker 1: you win. That we are aware of we inherit what
Speaker 1: we wear and how we think and how we look,
Speaker 1: but then how we behave, how we communicate, how we
Speaker 1: talk to people, how we think about people, how we
Speaker 1: think about women, how we think about man. Now think
Speaker 1: about Oh, that's a good one. How you think about
Speaker 1: women and men, yeah, you know, that's another thing, or them,
Speaker 1: how you think about trines, how you think about LGBTQ, like,
Speaker 1: like just how we think about other I'm so glad
Speaker 1: you went there. I just wanted to say that, I'm
Speaker 1: so happy you took us on that. Yeah. I can
Speaker 1: just imagine like aliens or people from another world being like, man,
Speaker 1: these people really tripped that they're have different shades of skin.
Speaker 1: They really be like they really kill each other over this.
Speaker 1: Like you know, I've never seen a cow look at
Speaker 1: another cow and be like you're a brown cow, You're
Speaker 1: a black and white cow. I don't want to be
Speaker 1: around you, Like noah, they don't. It's like you know,
Speaker 1: and it makes me realize that, like if we kill
Speaker 1: each other and hate each other over things like that,
Speaker 1: or who we love right or things that even have
Speaker 1: nothing to do with us, then I wonder how we
Speaker 1: would handle an extraterrestrial or an alien or really something
Speaker 1: that is really different. Like you know, I always am like,
Speaker 1: maybe that's why the government or whoever doesn't ever want
Speaker 1: to really break it to humanity, because how are we
Speaker 1: going to react? You know? But that's a whole other conversation.
Speaker 1: I wanted to ask you something about relationships because you
Speaker 1: go through times where you don't see your wife all
Speaker 1: the time, and how important is distance in a relationship,
Speaker 1: you know, because I know some people may feel guilty
Speaker 1: like not being with their partner all the time, or
Speaker 1: maybe even enjoying time away. You know that that could
Speaker 1: be a guilt thing like oh man, I'm really having
Speaker 1: a good time by myself, or also spending too much
Speaker 1: time with your partner and losing a sense of who
Speaker 1: you are and your individual self. So as you I
Speaker 1: look at your relationship, you guys are are a beautiful couple,
Speaker 1: you know what I mean. And I'm not saying that
Speaker 1: and idolizing that or anything, but that's just me making
Speaker 1: a you know, recognizing that. Yeah, how do how do
Speaker 1: you balance the distance in your relationship? And is that necessary? Yeah?
Speaker 1: I think for us and I agree with you, by
Speaker 1: the way, like I don't there is no such thing
Speaker 1: as a perfect, perfect marriage, perfect relationships, So we should
Speaker 1: remove that idolization with everything, just as we were talking
Speaker 1: about earlier. I've found that I'll take a bit of
Speaker 1: a detail. But I find that as humans, we like
Speaker 1: to idolize or we like to demonize. So we demonize people.
Speaker 1: We go you are terrible, you're wrong, you're the worst,
Speaker 1: or we go you're the best. I love you and
Speaker 1: I adore you. And sometimes the people we idolize become
Speaker 1: the same people we demonize when they let us down
Speaker 1: all the time. And so we don't have this ability,
Speaker 1: which what we talked about as monks was neutralized. How
Speaker 1: do you just neutralize everything and look at it for
Speaker 1: what it is and look at it for the reality
Speaker 1: of it rather than idolize or demonize it. Just just
Speaker 1: learned to accept. So when I look at my relationship,
Speaker 1: we found that when we first got married, i'd say
Speaker 1: the first two years of our marriage. So my wife
Speaker 1: and I've been married for six years, and next year
Speaker 1: we will have been together for ten years. We've been
Speaker 1: together for nine years now in total, and the first
Speaker 1: two years of our marriage I reckon we spent in
Speaker 1: total six to eight months apart in two years. And
Speaker 1: the reason for that was because my wife missed her
Speaker 1: family in London. We'd moved to New York because of
Speaker 1: my career, and I wanted her to be with her
Speaker 1: family to be happy. But I also wanted to be
Speaker 1: in New York so that I could build my career
Speaker 1: and build my purpose. And so that became, which is
Speaker 1: all valid. She wanted to be with a family, which
Speaker 1: I respect and love, and I wanted to be here.
Speaker 1: And I said to I said, I will fly back
Speaker 1: every weekend every month if I have to, if that's
Speaker 1: what's going to keep this marriage together, because I don't
Speaker 1: think you should give up what you care about, and
Speaker 1: I'm not going to give up what I care about.
Speaker 1: We both should not give up what we care about
Speaker 1: the most, because we care about each other. Can you, oh,
Speaker 1: my god, I see one of the things. I'll have
Speaker 1: to cut you up. People always say, oh, you have
Speaker 1: to give things, to sacrifice so much you have to
Speaker 1: like go like, no, you can't sacrifice yourself to the
Speaker 1: point where it's it's a it's torture. You know, you
Speaker 1: can't sacrifice yourself to where you're not yourself anymore. That
Speaker 1: you know what I mean. And that's that's really important.
Speaker 1: Not to cut you out. I just wanted to add
Speaker 1: that in here, Dude, everything you just added, I'm like
Speaker 1: that because that's the fine line you just gave, the
Speaker 1: fine line of you can't compromise. When compromise becomes torture.
Speaker 1: Compromise is healthy. Everyone has to compromise. I may cancel
Speaker 1: a dinner or I may reschedule my weekend. Like that's compromise.
Speaker 1: That's that's just yeah, exactly, But you you just defined
Speaker 1: it perfectly, like you can't sacrifice because not if I
Speaker 1: gave up the pursuit of my purpose in New York,
Speaker 1: I would have been sad, depressed, and tortured, using your words.
Speaker 1: And if my wife was kept away from her family
Speaker 1: and couldn't travel back to see them because I didn't
Speaker 1: wanted her too, because she had to be with me
Speaker 1: in New York, she would have been tortured and trapped.
Speaker 1: I don't want that as my loving relationship No, that's
Speaker 1: not a union exactly, it's not a union. And so
Speaker 1: what we found is that we got used to it,
Speaker 1: but we've got better at it. So at that time
Speaker 1: we got used to it. But what happened is we
Speaker 1: would really disconnect. This was a mistake. We would really disconnect.
Speaker 1: We would barely talk, barely check in, and then when
Speaker 1: we get back together, it almost felt like we were
Speaker 1: strangers again. Wow. And so that wasn't it wasn't good
Speaker 1: or bad. I just think we had to get better.
Speaker 1: Like today, it's changed. And so I just want to
Speaker 1: put that out there that when we first got married
Speaker 1: and we did that, I don't think we had the
Speaker 1: healthiest version of distance. And this is my point that
Speaker 1: you can evolve and grow and learn. And then it
Speaker 1: was COVID, right, So during the pandemic we lived together
Speaker 1: for two years and we saw each other every day
Speaker 1: and that was amazing. It was actually brilliant because that
Speaker 1: was the first time in our lives that we'd spend
Speaker 1: every day together for two years. And it was beautiful.
Speaker 1: We loved it. And now this year I will have
Speaker 1: been away from my wife when she finally gets back,
Speaker 1: but she's been working in London I've been in La,
Speaker 1: where we currently both lives. We would have been apart
Speaker 1: from around four months, and maybe we've seen each other
Speaker 1: once in four months. Hopefully we've gone to this mini
Speaker 1: vacation together. I feel this time we've both found a
Speaker 1: healthier way of being distanced. So she's in London because
Speaker 1: she's working and that's her purpose. I'm in La because
Speaker 1: that's where my purpose is. Again, I respect her purpose
Speaker 1: and she respects mine. I value her values and she
Speaker 1: values mine. And if I had to give up mine
Speaker 1: and be there for four months, or she had to
Speaker 1: give up hers and be here for four months, I
Speaker 1: wouldn't feel happy because I know she's not happy, and
Speaker 1: she wouldn't feel happy because she knows I'm not happy.
Speaker 1: So what we've realized is that in the times we're apart,
Speaker 1: we can both be more productive. We get to catch
Speaker 1: up with our own friends and deepen those bonds in
Speaker 1: connection because we both have more time. I find that
Speaker 1: I miss her every day. I have never texted my
Speaker 1: wife this much since we were dating. I haven't called
Speaker 1: her this much since we were dating, because now it's
Speaker 1: like I wake up in the morning, the first person
Speaker 1: I call is her. Yeah, I don't do that. She's
Speaker 1: next to me right the last thing at night. I
Speaker 1: know she's already asleep in London, but I'm messaging her
Speaker 1: messages so that when she wakes up in the morning,
Speaker 1: they're the first thing she sees. Yeah, it adds a
Speaker 1: beautiful dynamic. And there's something really beautiful in the buck
Speaker 1: Te tradition, which is based on love and devotion to
Speaker 1: the universe, the divine, and it talks about how love
Speaker 1: in connection is beautiful, but love in separation is one
Speaker 1: of the most beautiful experiences. To want to be back
Speaker 1: with your beloved and the person that you love. That's
Speaker 1: what all the songs are about. That's all music's about,
Speaker 1: like the missing of someone, the yearning of someone. That
Speaker 1: the separation from a loved one is sometimes where you
Speaker 1: get to experence the deepest joy and even process some
Speaker 1: of your biggest fears and weaknesses. And that's what I
Speaker 1: find that when I'm away from my wife, I have
Speaker 1: to process my weaknesses and my fears head on. Yeah,
Speaker 1: and that I find to be joyful because it deepens
Speaker 1: my love for her. And so I personally find that
Speaker 1: distance and personal time is critical and the way I
Speaker 1: define it for someone in a week because someone may say, well, Jay,
Speaker 1: we don't work like you guys where we're away from
Speaker 1: each other for months, because we live in the same home.
Speaker 1: We don't have careers that take us across the world.
Speaker 1: I believe, and I've been planning this out, that here's
Speaker 1: an ideal seven day week, right, Yeah, you should ideally
Speaker 1: spend one to two days by yourself, with yourself, even
Speaker 1: if you're married, even if you're dating. Have two nights
Speaker 1: a week that are for you, even if you're in
Speaker 1: the same house, saving house. Have two nights a week
Speaker 1: separate that it's for you to listen to your inner voice.
Speaker 1: That's two nights a week. Now, have two nights that
Speaker 1: are together just you. Two date nights, experiments, events, whatever
Speaker 1: it is, but just you two so that you develop
Speaker 1: and you water your intimacy. That's four nights. And got
Speaker 1: three nights left In those other three nights, one night
Speaker 1: you spend with your own friends, so she's with her friends,
Speaker 1: I'm with my friends. And then the other two nights
Speaker 1: we're with a collective group of friends, friends that we share.
Speaker 1: Now you can make your own ratio of your seven days.
Speaker 1: But notice how the ideal seven days include time alone,
Speaker 1: time with each other, time with your own friends and family,
Speaker 1: and time with collective friends and family. If we can't
Speaker 1: look at our lives and say we do all of those,
Speaker 1: it means we're not watering a really important part of
Speaker 1: our relationships. If I don't water myself, I've got nothing
Speaker 1: to come up later. Yeah, that's you're gonna feel is hurting.
Speaker 1: You know. What you're talking from is from experience. I
Speaker 1: can see like, this isn't like a textbook formula. This
Speaker 1: isn't something This is something experience that you guys have
Speaker 1: been through and then you made it through. So I
Speaker 1: respect that, and I realized that, you know, the crazy
Speaker 1: thing about being in a relationship and having distance between
Speaker 1: you is it really can bring you closer to the
Speaker 1: one that you're missing, you know it kind of it's almost,
Speaker 1: I would say, almost a great test to see how
Speaker 1: close you really are, you know what I mean? Because
Speaker 1: being like, being so far from someone can bring you
Speaker 1: so much closer. You can learn so much about someone
Speaker 1: you know through texting, the more through the phone as
Speaker 1: opposed to waking up next to them every day. So
Speaker 1: I think it's beautiful to give each other that time apart,
Speaker 1: and that's when you really know when that person is
Speaker 1: still all you want, that that's that's who that's special for,
Speaker 1: you know. And I definitely been able to experience that.
Speaker 1: So that's that's a beautiful thing, you know, And it's
Speaker 1: a key part in any relationship. I think in any marriage,
Speaker 1: the key to it is having some distance between you
Speaker 1: know what I mean and yeah, and having someone who
Speaker 1: you energetically match with. Yes, you know one thing that
Speaker 1: that's the most important thing. That's the most important thing
Speaker 1: right there. Because this is funny because I don't know
Speaker 1: how to even say this, say this properly or I
Speaker 1: don't know whatever, but I'm gonna just say, like, when
Speaker 1: you have sex with someone who you feel are you
Speaker 1: guys are equally energetically on the same level. That's how
Speaker 1: it's really supposed to be, right because in other in
Speaker 1: other ways, I just hope people realize that because if not,
Speaker 1: if you're not with someone who you energetically feel like
Speaker 1: you're on the same level with, then that person could
Speaker 1: be taken away from you. It could throw you off track,
Speaker 1: it could uninspired you, it could do all these crazy things.
Speaker 1: So it's important to realize the power of energy. Definitely
Speaker 1: that you have when you when you're with somebody who
Speaker 1: can match your energy definitely sexually. No, absolutely, And I'm
Speaker 1: so glad you raised that because so the Sanskrit word
Speaker 1: for celibacy is bromacharia. Now celibacy in the Western world
Speaker 1: fields sounds like abstaining from sex. That's what you think
Speaker 1: of the word celibacy, bromacharia. It translates as the proper
Speaker 1: use or direction of energy. When you talk about a
Speaker 1: poor energy exchange, when you're just wasting energy when there
Speaker 1: isn't an equal energetic exchange, right, that's why we feel drained,
Speaker 1: we feel depleted, we feel or afterwards you're like, oh,
Speaker 1: this is a waste of my time, totally. Yeah, However
Speaker 1: you feel like how many years later it takes. Yeah,
Speaker 1: But when you have someone of equal energy exchange, that
Speaker 1: impression is so much more powerful and deeper. And so
Speaker 1: I'm glad you brought that up because I guess the
Speaker 1: question though, is like, obviously, when you meet someone, we're
Speaker 1: all at different stages, even in our vibrational energy, Right,
Speaker 1: how do you know? Because today we live in a
Speaker 1: world where anyone can use the language, everyone can say
Speaker 1: the word energy. Everyone can use the word vibration. Everyone
Speaker 1: can use all the lingo and you think, oh, yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: this person like they've been reading about chakras and da rights.
Speaker 1: How do you actually know that someone is of a
Speaker 1: similar energy in a relationship? But how do you how
Speaker 1: do you look for that? Because and I don't think
Speaker 1: there's a formula or there's a perfect science. I'm just saying,
Speaker 1: how do you look for that? How have you found that?
Speaker 1: Look for that? It's only one way feeling it as
Speaker 1: simple as that you can It's something you feel, and
Speaker 1: you have to really be in tune with yourself, right.
Speaker 1: That's another reason why working on yourself so important, because
Speaker 1: the more you're in tune with yourself, the more you're
Speaker 1: able to feel like this isn't right right, And it
Speaker 1: could make sense in a lot of other ways. It
Speaker 1: could be like, oh, this person is my ideal of
Speaker 1: like the perfect person in my head, you know, like physically,
Speaker 1: but it just doesn't well, I don't care, like you
Speaker 1: disregard those feelings when you put that egotistical spin on
Speaker 1: things right, or you put that like that image or
Speaker 1: like the expectations or things check marks you think you
Speaker 1: should be hitting. But it's really just a feeling process.
Speaker 1: And when you realize, you know, when you have the
Speaker 1: feeling of that feeling like you're being productive, you know,
Speaker 1: like I'm not ever ever gonna like physically be involved
Speaker 1: with anyone if if it's not productive, you know, and
Speaker 1: I feel like I'm being productive, you know what I mean.
Speaker 1: And that's how you should feel with your partner, Like
Speaker 1: you feel like you're being productive, you know, and you
Speaker 1: feel that you have a good feeling about it. Yeah. Yeah.
Speaker 1: Anything else is just kind of like you know, you
Speaker 1: think that you may fun yea and fun and it's fun, yeah,
Speaker 1: you know, if it's not fun, productive and all these things,
Speaker 1: and you know, if you feel weird or feel like
Speaker 1: you're wasting your time afterwards, and then that's probably not
Speaker 1: right for you, you know. And you could eventually kid
Speaker 1: yourself for a little while, but eventually you're gonna move
Speaker 1: on or something's gonna happen, and you know, yeah, I
Speaker 1: think one of the things I looked for an energy
Speaker 1: exchange in every level is the idea of you know,
Speaker 1: it's almost like how long have your energies been invested
Speaker 1: together deeply. When my career started to take off, I
Speaker 1: would often point to an achievement and look at my
Speaker 1: wife and say, love me for this right and what
Speaker 1: I did right, And then I'd win another award and
Speaker 1: be like, look at this, I love me for this,
Speaker 1: and she wouldn't feel anything. She wouldn't she wouldn't respect
Speaker 1: me for like, she wouldn't care about that. Not that
Speaker 1: she wouldn't respect me, she wouldn't care about you, wouldn't
Speaker 1: care about that, and she would be happy for she'd
Speaker 1: be happy for me, but she didn't care about that.
Speaker 1: She didn't love me for that. But I was saying,
Speaker 1: validate me for this, love me for this, And then
Speaker 1: I realized that I was trying to get her to
Speaker 1: love me for what my achievements saw when she loved
Speaker 1: me for who I am. Like that was the most
Speaker 1: deepest reminder to me that my wife's been with me
Speaker 1: since when I was in twenty five thousand dollars worth
Speaker 1: of debt, when we were four months away from being broke,
Speaker 1: when I was pursuing my purpose and no one cared,
Speaker 1: and I had five people turn up to hear me speak,
Speaker 1: and my wife's been through all of that, and she
Speaker 1: loved me then and she loves me now. But she's
Speaker 1: never been enamored by the achievements of the successes. She
Speaker 1: has always exchange energy with me on the level of
Speaker 1: she loves who I am, so she had to love
Speaker 1: me that way to remind myself to love myself that way.
Speaker 1: And I think that's what I look at as energy
Speaker 1: exchange is does someone remind me to love myself through
Speaker 1: how they love me? Like, does the way they love
Speaker 1: me remind me to love myself for the real reasons?
Speaker 1: And that you know that is just undefeatable, like that
Speaker 1: you can't beat. That's the champion of love. Yeah, because
Speaker 1: you're like, you're teaching me how to love myself based
Speaker 1: on what I actually should love myself. Man, that's a
Speaker 1: gatting talking from experience. Yeah, it's yeah, it's it's it's real.
Speaker 1: Like I've I've been that man that is wanted the
Speaker 1: validation of my wife for my medals and my honors,
Speaker 1: and when she didn't give it to me, I felt frustrated, Wow,
Speaker 1: because I felt, well, I can get more attention from
Speaker 1: someone for these things. But then you go, but then
Speaker 1: do I want attention or do I want affection? Like
Speaker 1: do I want validation or do I want someone to
Speaker 1: value me? Right, validation is conditional. It's conditional and come
Speaker 1: and go quick. It's like where it's off. It's like
Speaker 1: a it's like a new sweater or something, right, like
Speaker 1: you have to eventually wash it and it starts to deteriorate.
Speaker 1: And as opposed to loving someone for who they are,
Speaker 1: that's that's more like unbreakable, right, that's undefeated. Yeah, Sean,
Speaker 1: what if I not asked you today? What's been on
Speaker 1: your mind? Your heart where gone? Because I feel like,
Speaker 1: I know it's hard to say this, but I really
Speaker 1: do believe this because the last time we were getting
Speaker 1: to know each other. Where we've gone today? We have
Speaker 1: gone to some places today like as in this is
Speaker 1: without a doubt, even though it's hard to says, it's
Speaker 1: even better than the first conversation because of our openness
Speaker 1: if we have a relationship, a deeper relationship to them. So, yeah,
Speaker 1: what the places we've gone to and the things you've
Speaker 1: said today, I'm gonna have to listen back to this one.
Speaker 1: Keep doing what you're doing, man, Like the job you're
Speaker 1: doing is fantastic. Like I tune into so many interviews.
Speaker 1: I loved your book. Um, I can't wait to have
Speaker 1: you write the forward on my book, I'm a saying
Speaker 1: I'm in and just say, everyone listening, man, you know,
Speaker 1: I know you're going through. Whatever you're going through, just
Speaker 1: do the best you can. Stay strong, Um, don't give
Speaker 1: up on yourself. You know that's me. There's no losing
Speaker 1: you know. You can. You can maybe think you're losing.
Speaker 1: You only lose when you stop, you know what I mean.
Speaker 1: There's no such thing as it's losing if you don't stop,
Speaker 1: it's only just learning and like developing and getting that
Speaker 1: experience and wiser. You know, you're just sharpening the sword,
Speaker 1: being more of a master. So you know, stay strong
Speaker 1: and everyone. I know some people don't know where they're
Speaker 1: going to even sleep tonight. Some people are going through real,
Speaker 1: a real crisis in their life. And just know that
Speaker 1: I'm not just saying this to be politically correct or anything.
Speaker 1: Like I really am sending you guys love. I really
Speaker 1: am sending you guys like some light and uh, you
Speaker 1: know that miracles can happen in your life and you
Speaker 1: accept that, you know, except please like accept your miracle
Speaker 1: because they happen every every day. And yeah, thank you.
Speaker 1: You know it's a I don't know what else is
Speaker 1: new music. Yeah, new stuff coming out and yea, I
Speaker 1: don't know what else to say. Yeah, I mean everyone
Speaker 1: makes you. You go and subscribe across all of big
Speaker 1: chewan platforms. Yeah, you whether it's Instagram, it's Facebook, Spotify, Apple,
Speaker 1: wherever you're listening. Yeah, look out for them at Coachella
Speaker 1: this year. Music is dropping right now. It's musically dropping
Speaker 1: around the birthday as well. I don't know around the birthday,
Speaker 1: but probably more so around Coachella. Okay, around coach I'm
Speaker 1: thinking I got some new music. I'm trying to see
Speaker 1: if I'm gonna preview it there or put it out
Speaker 1: right before, but you know, figure it out. We're figuring
Speaker 1: it out. Me and Jinete have new music coming to together,
Speaker 1: so our twenty eighty eight project. And yes, we can
Speaker 1: talk about that more deeply if you want to go
Speaker 1: into it. You want to give him there, that's what
Speaker 1: you know. Maybe me and her could come and do
Speaker 1: a special one. I would do that. Well that would
Speaker 1: be sick. Ye do that? Or maybe all four of
Speaker 1: us that would be love that. Let's do that. That's
Speaker 1: another time. But um, because I don't want to speak
Speaker 1: for her. Yes, yes, yes, yes, you know that's our
Speaker 1: that's our thing together. But I can just let people
Speaker 1: know that it's coming and what else I mean, you know,
Speaker 1: just keep doing it and thanks thanks for all to
Speaker 1: love on the last one. I gotta say thank you
Speaker 1: for the love on the last podcast we did. It
Speaker 1: was crazy and man, congrats you. Mental health are on
Speaker 1: the Men's Men's Health magazine, is it? Uh it's Men's Health, right, Yeah,
Speaker 1: it's Men's Health. Yeah, Man's Health magazine. That's a major bro. Well, bro,
Speaker 1: it's just doing you with you is amazing. Like I
Speaker 1: think you know you said that what we're doing is
Speaker 1: amazing here. But this is energizing. Yeah, Like, this is
Speaker 1: energy exchange at its highest level because you you you
Speaker 1: keep me going to man like having this relationship with
Speaker 1: you and having these conversations with you that energizes me.
Speaker 1: It affirms my belief in what I'm trying to do. Yeah,
Speaker 1: and so yeah, I see like billboards of you everywhere
Speaker 1: and stuff like calm app I'm like, yo, Jay is
Speaker 1: going crazy right now? Will Smith in man else that
Speaker 1: what a crazy moment that had to be that was
Speaker 1: working with him has been one of the great isn't
Speaker 1: he great? Crazy joys? In my life. Yeah, one of
Speaker 1: my special human beings, as are you in the world,
Speaker 1: and just he's annoying it. He's like has a glow
Speaker 1: on him, right, he really does that, I will it's
Speaker 1: real and it's real, like he's you know him in
Speaker 1: the whole family. Just amazing. You could tell he's like human. Yeah,
Speaker 1: you know what I mean? And yeah, keep up, keep
Speaker 1: up the next time. Thank you man, everyone who's been
Speaker 1: watching at home. What I wanted you to do like
Speaker 1: you did last time, you show up on Twitter and Instagram,
Speaker 1: tag us on what resonated with you, what connected with you.
Speaker 1: There were so many incredible nuggets wisdom today that Sean
Speaker 1: dropped and we went back and forth and we grappled
Speaker 1: with and then you saw our thought pattern and we
Speaker 1: finally got there. There was like this whole journey that
Speaker 1: we went on today and we hope that this conversation
Speaker 1: inspires conversations back at home. When I started making content,
Speaker 1: my whole goal was I wanted to create stuff that
Speaker 1: you could send to you a friend and say, this
Speaker 1: is what we were talking about last night, we're thinking
Speaker 1: about and I wanted to create something for you that
Speaker 1: helped you have deeper, more meaningful conversations with your friends
Speaker 1: that you might not always get to have. So I
Speaker 1: hope that this starts millions of conversations around the world
Speaker 1: that deepen your bond with your friends, your loved ones,
Speaker 1: that allow you to have more compass and love for
Speaker 1: each other and the world, and ultimately, as Sean's been
Speaker 1: saying the whole time today, allow ourselves to not judge,
Speaker 1: to really understand that everyone's going through something. So thank
Speaker 1: you for listening to on Purpose, thank you to our
Speaker 1: main man, Big Sean for turning up to their new
Speaker 1: music Coachella so much more, and there will be a
Speaker 1: part three. Thank you everyone amazing, thank you, thank you
Speaker 1: b