Speaker 1: Talk Talk Talk to We're just two unapologetically black women
Speaker 1: with an opinion who talks.
Speaker 2: What's up, y'all?
Speaker 3: Thank you for tuning in for a new episode of
Speaker 3: We Talk Back, a show dedicated to you niggas and
Speaker 3: these holes. I'm going back to the fucking it sounds better,
Speaker 3: dreamers and chases all that shit. It's your girl, a
Speaker 3: j holiday. What's up, tam, Hey, y'all, let's be tam bam.
Speaker 4: I love y'all.
Speaker 2: I do once again.
Speaker 5: I'm reading this book called.
Speaker 1: I reading this book called The Carpentary, and it was
Speaker 1: just talking about doing everything with love.
Speaker 4: I was like, oh, this is already how I lived
Speaker 4: my life.
Speaker 5: So I just feel like so much in alignment right now.
Speaker 5: I just want to share that with you guys.
Speaker 4: How was your weekend?
Speaker 3: It was all right, girl. I don't do much like
Speaker 3: literally in the house. I did work out four times
Speaker 3: this weekend. Okay, that's good. Like, first of all, these
Speaker 3: bags ain't that. But they're gonna be real slim period
Speaker 3: very soon.
Speaker 2: Y'all.
Speaker 3: Yes, we ain't we talked. We ain't we talking fat?
Speaker 3: No more right, We've.
Speaker 4: Been real serious about our fitness.
Speaker 1: So yeah, I didn't I went to spin class over
Speaker 1: the weekend.
Speaker 5: I've been going spind crazy.
Speaker 1: So I went on Saturday and it was their seven
Speaker 1: year anniversary and they had a raffle and I won.
Speaker 1: I won two free I want two free tickets to
Speaker 1: the Hornets game.
Speaker 2: I don't know.
Speaker 4: I got to pick it up when I go tonight
Speaker 4: to spend. No, that was cool.
Speaker 3: Nah, man, you need you need a free a free year. No,
Speaker 3: that wasn't sh I know it spin is expensing.
Speaker 1: That wasn't an option. And then yesterday was my mother's birthday.
Speaker 1: So I went to Columbia.
Speaker 2: Oh Sarah, Big Sarah.
Speaker 5: She turned thirty seven. She said, uh yeah.
Speaker 1: So I made her a blueberry, a living blueberry dumk cake.
Speaker 5: It was so good.
Speaker 2: I only had a little sound, and she was like,
Speaker 2: I love dumb cake.
Speaker 6: I was.
Speaker 1: She was like, take some home, But I did not
Speaker 1: take any home. I'm so proud of myself. I just
Speaker 1: left it there for.
Speaker 5: Them to eat.
Speaker 3: Ben I'd have been warming ass shit up in the
Speaker 3: oven in the oven with some vanilla ice cream every
Speaker 3: day until it's gone.
Speaker 4: So good I couldn't do it. It was too good. I
Speaker 4: knew it was gonna big big my back again.
Speaker 3: I'm so fat when it comes to sweets, man, that
Speaker 3: swet of God, Like, I gotta keep eating it until
Speaker 3: it's all gone.
Speaker 5: I love it, dude. That's why I didn't bring any back,
Speaker 5: because I knew what time it was.
Speaker 2: It was just too good though.
Speaker 4: Yep.
Speaker 1: So let's get into our stupid internet news.
Speaker 3: What happened, uh, Boozy asked, Booty ain't fucking with the
Speaker 3: waffle House no more, y'all. Boosy is mad because this
Speaker 3: nigga took a raw potato to waffle House and tried
Speaker 3: to force the cook to make him some breakfast potatoes. Now,
Speaker 3: anybody who can actually cook that shit is not like
Speaker 3: frozen hash brown right, all right, you damn it.
Speaker 2: Got the ball of potato first and all that shit.
Speaker 3: And because he tips one hundred dollars when he goes
Speaker 3: out the eat, he just thinks he could just pull
Speaker 3: up with groceries at any fucking nearest restaurant and get
Speaker 3: what he wants.
Speaker 2: When I tell y'all, Bootsy be.
Speaker 1: Tripping, he do be tripping, Like you just can't pull
Speaker 1: up with a bag of raw potatoes.
Speaker 4: Talking about cookies, He's like, what do you what do
Speaker 4: you think?
Speaker 2: You asked were they even raw potatoes like.
Speaker 3: Nigga, if you took a Russell a Russell baked potato
Speaker 3: up there, who knows what he did?
Speaker 2: That Nigga is nuts.
Speaker 5: I'm talking about now he eating it hot.
Speaker 4: For a little while because he's mad at him.
Speaker 3: Boosy, get up, my damn nerds, y'all listen. I watched
Speaker 3: Boosy brother's interview. I forgot the show this past weekend,
Speaker 3: But that Nigga might be a villain. Boosy might be
Speaker 3: a villain dog because you know he's beefing with Young
Speaker 3: Blue right now too, And I think he's just salty
Speaker 3: about that man's career. As far as I'm concerned, he
Speaker 3: already down this week because your wife caught your ass cheating.
Speaker 3: And now I'm Boosy on your neck about some money
Speaker 3: you don't owe him. It's really weird. It's giving broke, Boosy,
Speaker 3: it's giving broke. It's giving financial issues. Boosy PPP coming
Speaker 3: back around again. They about to lock us down. Just wait,
Speaker 3: lock us back down. Joe, I want to be lost, No,
Speaker 3: I don't. I do, girl, I don't want to have
Speaker 3: the whole people.
Speaker 2: Do not comply.
Speaker 4: Send me some free money, and don't send me the word.
Speaker 4: I'll be okay. Coco Golf won the US Open over
Speaker 4: the weekend.
Speaker 2: I said em black girl magic because.
Speaker 5: I'm so proud of her.
Speaker 1: Did y'all see that video from twenty twelve where she
Speaker 1: was dancing in the stands of the US Open.
Speaker 2: Yes, it was a little girl.
Speaker 4: It was a full circle moment for her. That's so amazing.
Speaker 2: And I cried a little bit when I watched that video.
Speaker 2: You know a lot of.
Speaker 1: People said they cried. I did not cry for that,
Speaker 1: but I was very excited for her.
Speaker 5: Yeah.
Speaker 3: I cried, man, because you know, that's a big ass accomplishment.
Speaker 3: And imagine growing up in tennis in that way. You know,
Speaker 3: obviously her parents had her there at the games, right
Speaker 3: she's dancing, and now you actually win it.
Speaker 1: It got a three million dollar check on top of
Speaker 1: all kind of endorsements that are about to come your way. Yeah, girl,
Speaker 1: I love them. Proud of you, man, Yes, I love it. Yes,
Speaker 1: But I don't know nothing about tennis. I ain't been
Speaker 1: to a US nothing.
Speaker 3: I used to play tennis when I was younger. I
Speaker 3: liked it, man, I'm just all that fucking running.
Speaker 1: Play in my apartment complex, you know, just because we had,
Speaker 1: you know, some balls in one of my first Assenis records.
Speaker 1: But it would never like, no proper training or anything
Speaker 1: like that. It's hot out there.
Speaker 3: My oldest sister actually played tennis like tournaments and shit
Speaker 3: like that.
Speaker 2: She would play.
Speaker 5: Oh that's dope. She she quit it though.
Speaker 3: Yeah we all fat, all us so almost got some
Speaker 3: fat ass fucking chur and bitch. Meanwhile, she was walking
Speaker 3: around here with a thirty two inch waist and her
Speaker 3: kids fat.
Speaker 2: You're not fat.
Speaker 4: I don't think you're fan not now.
Speaker 3: I would never have been short, Ashley. When I was
Speaker 3: a little kid, I was definitely chunky. Always like if
Speaker 3: I was just no, I look back at pictures now.
Speaker 1: I was a I wouldn't describe you as you know,
Speaker 1: actually fat Ashley.
Speaker 4: I wouldn't be like that.
Speaker 2: You know, no nobody would either.
Speaker 3: Okay, when you look back at pictures and you thought
Speaker 3: you were fat, then it's like, damn, I wish I
Speaker 3: could get back there my own fat weight.
Speaker 2: Yes, right, can I get my old fat weight back?
Speaker 1: That's why I'm never gonna I'm gonna try my best
Speaker 1: to never beat up my body anymore because I know,
Speaker 1: I'm gonna look back at my body and wish I.
Speaker 6: Had that body.
Speaker 1: So I'm just actively trying to just appreciate.
Speaker 5: Every moment in the now.
Speaker 3: Yes, enjoy, everybody shy, everybody appreciated.
Speaker 1: So Gunna had his first show since being released from
Speaker 1: jail at Barclay's over the weekend and it.
Speaker 4: Was a sodawn show.
Speaker 1: Was a packed house and people were saying that they
Speaker 1: were surprised at how packed the show was because of
Speaker 1: that snitch label that people were trying to put on him,
Speaker 1: allegedly that.
Speaker 5: He's you know, he's a snitch.
Speaker 1: I mean, we did see him in the courtroom saying
Speaker 1: yes ma'am to a lot of things that some people
Speaker 1: would say it's snitching.
Speaker 5: What do you think get.
Speaker 3: Rich took, he took a shut up, he took a
Speaker 3: plead deal. Okay, he didn't snitch on anybody. If anything,
Speaker 3: there's a lot of other people that we have seen
Speaker 3: in court okay involved with YSL that were for actual snitches.
Speaker 3: I don't think he should have been involved in that
Speaker 3: case in the first place at all. And sorry, Nigga,
Speaker 3: I'm trying to come home. Is what snitch stands That
Speaker 3: majority of people in jail. Yeah, Like, I don't like
Speaker 3: the I don't like the civilians, you know, calling people
Speaker 3: who have these type of lifestyles snitches, Like, why y'all eat?
Speaker 2: You don't know what you would do? If I know
Speaker 2: exactly what I would do, snitch, snitch.
Speaker 5: That's why I don't think.
Speaker 1: That's why I don't participate in any criminal activity, because
Speaker 1: if it's your life or mine, it's gonna be mine.
Speaker 4: I'm not gonna like. I don't live by that code.
Speaker 4: That's why I don't commit crimes.
Speaker 3: So don't ask me this, especially if I wasn't actively
Speaker 3: doing some stuff. And the thing is, what black people
Speaker 3: need to realize is that we are not the main
Speaker 3: ones that boy. These people music, okay, they have white
Speaker 3: people who support their music. I'm pretty sure the Barclays
Speaker 3: was filled with a bunch of white kids, right, Nigga,
Speaker 3: he's still gonna be okay.
Speaker 2: He don't just need the black that's.
Speaker 1: Say, the people who probably really in the streets and
Speaker 1: really live by that code wasn't coming to your concert anyway, you.
Speaker 2: Know, right?
Speaker 3: Yeah, So I mean get the check man, listen. Ain't no,
Speaker 3: there's no rules in the streets no more. It's no
Speaker 3: loyalty in the streets no more. It's no integrity, nigga,
Speaker 3: do what's best for you and your family.
Speaker 2: Because everybody is on that type of time.
Speaker 3: It's a lot of people out here who know their
Speaker 3: homeboys snitch and they still hanging out with this nigga.
Speaker 1: Now, it's a lot of that. Moving around to Charlotte.
Speaker 1: I ain't gonna say no names.
Speaker 6: But.
Speaker 3: Girl Love and Charleston, there's so many indictments day in
Speaker 3: and day out, and these niggas be right outside like,
Speaker 3: ain't nothing happened, And the same niggas be who was
Speaker 3: talking about them hanging with them today.
Speaker 2: Because they all do it.
Speaker 3: They all do it when they get into them rooms,
Speaker 3: small assrooms.
Speaker 4: Having his arms in his shirt with a cigarette shirt.
Speaker 4: He about to tell.
Speaker 2: That nigga asked for a cigarette, but you know it's
Speaker 2: a boy. He's about to telling the whole hood be
Speaker 2: very clear, telling him ask you know for me, like snitching?
Speaker 2: Is this right?
Speaker 3: Like say, for instance, I commit a crime, I know
Speaker 3: I did it. You know I did it right? Like say,
Speaker 3: for instance, I do a murder in your car, you
Speaker 3: get arrested with my car and I'm not.
Speaker 4: No, I get arrested in my car because you did
Speaker 4: a murder.
Speaker 2: No, no, no, I let know.
Speaker 3: I let you hold Yeah, yay, that's what I meant, right, Yes,
Speaker 3: you let me hold your car. I commit a murder
Speaker 3: in your car, you get stopped in your car, and
Speaker 3: now they're catching you, getting you for the murder. I
Speaker 3: feel like I'm a bitch ass nigga if I don't
Speaker 3: come up there and admit that I did it instead
Speaker 3: of letting my friends sit for some ship that I
Speaker 3: actually did. You are not a snitch. That's not saying yes,
Speaker 3: that's it's not. The streets will consider that snitching.
Speaker 1: When you're down, when y'all committing crimes together and I
Speaker 1: get caught, but I tell on everybody else to lord
Speaker 1: lessen my sentence or to get out of jail.
Speaker 5: That's what snitching is.
Speaker 3: The streets considered any time you're cooperating with the police,
Speaker 3: they consider that snitching, no matteration that like, yes they.
Speaker 4: Do a civilian and you just I can give you.
Speaker 3: A perfect example. This is not even snitching for real.
Speaker 3: Remember future and what's his manager, the one who was
Speaker 3: managed America Monica. Mm hmm, y'all know who I'm talking about.
Speaker 3: Monica Baby Daddy. He he brought Future on the scene.
Speaker 2: He Rocco. Future made a song about Rocco.
Speaker 3: Future tweeted about Rocco's Rocko a snitch because this nigga
Speaker 3: wanted his money out of him after he blew after
Speaker 3: he blew up, we had a contract together. How is
Speaker 3: that snitching? Because I signed. People work in court, That's
Speaker 3: what I'm saying. The streets, they don't. They just don't
Speaker 3: want you cooperating with with with authorities or the courts
Speaker 3: with anything. They consider everything snitching.
Speaker 2: If you cooperating for really, I don't know.
Speaker 1: So if somebody kill your family member and you go
Speaker 1: to the court and tell to go to the police,
Speaker 1: that snitching the other family who who like the family
Speaker 1: of the person that did it, They're gonna say you
Speaker 1: snitching on them.
Speaker 2: No, I don't think people, yes, y'all.
Speaker 1: Let us know, y'all, let us and then cooperate with
Speaker 1: the police, not regular civilians.
Speaker 3: There's levels to this ship, and I feel like people
Speaker 3: black people specifically consider every goddamn thing. It'd be a
Speaker 3: lot of situations that's not even I'm not saying that's
Speaker 3: what it is, Tammy. I am saying this is what
Speaker 3: people really think in the streets.
Speaker 5: That's what I'm saying. I don't know, that's what I'm saying.
Speaker 2: I don't believe. Absolutely not, Yeah, absolutely not.
Speaker 3: But the example I gave, like you driving my car,
Speaker 3: it's like I mean me driving your car, I'm saying
Speaker 3: somebody would be. I'm only considering it snitching if you're
Speaker 3: telling on some shit that don't have nothing to do
Speaker 3: with your case.
Speaker 2: Do you see what I'm saying? That snitching to me?
Speaker 3: If you're just telling the police, telling the police some
Speaker 3: shit to get a lesser charge. You just telling on
Speaker 3: random niggas in the hood. They putting whoever picture in
Speaker 3: front of you, and you say, yeah, that nigga does
Speaker 3: such and such and such.
Speaker 2: That is snitching to me. Anything else is not snitching.
Speaker 5: Yeah, to me.
Speaker 1: If you if you're committing a crime and you get caught,
Speaker 1: you got caught, You got caught, Leave everybody else out
Speaker 1: of it.
Speaker 5: That's how I feel like.
Speaker 1: Right, But if you just a civilian and you and
Speaker 1: you in some bullshit, you have every right to defend yourself.
Speaker 2: Absolutely. Yeah, we don't be doing crime.
Speaker 5: I don't do shit.
Speaker 6: All.
Speaker 5: I might speed a little bit every now and then,
Speaker 5: But that's the gist of it.
Speaker 3: Girl, I gotta take you earlier this year. Man, and
Speaker 3: I hide a lawyer. One thing I can like, why
Speaker 3: do I get punished thirty times because your insurance go
Speaker 3: up and everything else? I think it's not fair. It's
Speaker 3: not fucking fair. No, So, Tyreese is on the Breakfast Club.
Speaker 3: I know y'all seen that shit. Ty RaSE is on
Speaker 3: the Breakfast Club. He was talking about his grievances. They
Speaker 3: all were, right, Charlamagne dj Envy. They were talking about
Speaker 3: their grievances with him. He was talking about his grievances
Speaker 3: with them, Like you know, he basically wanted support from
Speaker 3: his bros. When he was going through the things with
Speaker 3: his ex wife. That divorce really hurt that nigga.
Speaker 2: That's what I'm seeing.
Speaker 3: But he leaves the Breakfast Club. They all apologize each other.
Speaker 3: He apologized to them, they apologize to him. You know,
Speaker 3: we thought the interview. I thought the interview was pretty amicable.
Speaker 7: So whatever feelings you have about me and what I
Speaker 7: should be or shouldn't be doing pertaining to my approach
Speaker 7: with how I'm unraveling and bleeding out loud in the
Speaker 7: middle of my thing, that would have actually been the
Speaker 7: reason to call no.
Speaker 8: And I did have conversations with you, and this is
Speaker 8: from before your ex wife, when you were talking to
Speaker 8: the girl overseas and who you were as a man,
Speaker 8: I didn't respect that. I stuck took a step back
Speaker 8: because I didn't know what you were going through and
Speaker 8: I tried to talk to you, and I've seen who
Speaker 8: you were and not even like who you were online,
Speaker 8: and to my point, I tried, and when I seen
Speaker 8: how you were talking this way, I said, I'm going
Speaker 8: to take a step back.
Speaker 7: How convenient I stepped back?
Speaker 4: What you mean?
Speaker 7: I never stepped back.
Speaker 8: From you, It's right, but I never talked to your
Speaker 8: wife in a disrespectful manner, and you talked to mine
Speaker 8: and a disrespectful manner. And I never told nobody that
Speaker 8: even when you were on and you could say you
Speaker 8: were on those site mads and you could say that
Speaker 8: you warrant you, but as a man, some of the
Speaker 8: things that you said, Tyrese deserved me to box your
Speaker 8: mouth and.
Speaker 4: Know we were talking because this is something that I
Speaker 4: never wanted to say.
Speaker 8: And since he wants to be well, why envy, I'm
Speaker 8: telling him why you said disrespectful ship to my wife.
Speaker 3: A couple of days later, this nigga is crying on
Speaker 3: the internet once again.
Speaker 2: Okay, he's obviously trying to get another viral meme gradul
Speaker 2: after this interview.
Speaker 3: Yes, like he was the victim, like they really did
Speaker 3: something to him at the breakfast club.
Speaker 2: Yes, the other day, do you hear me?
Speaker 3: I missed a point where I had to hit Charlamagne up, like, yo,
Speaker 3: is he?
Speaker 2: Well? Is this real? Like I was waiting for him.
Speaker 3: I was waiting for him to say, got y'all just
Speaker 3: practice him acting. I was waiting for that, but it
Speaker 3: never happened. He was dead ass serious. He was thankful
Speaker 3: to Jess hilarious. You know she's been co hosting a
Speaker 3: lot up there. He was very like thankful to her
Speaker 3: for like help standing up for him in his van
Speaker 3: vulnerable moments and not making fun of him because they
Speaker 3: felt like Charlamagne and dj Envy was making fun of
Speaker 3: him what they do, but they were and he was
Speaker 3: making fun too. Yeah, it was That's why like some
Speaker 3: people like that, I can't. That's a dangerous person.
Speaker 2: You can't. You don't know what to say around them.
Speaker 2: You don't know what she could do.
Speaker 3: Like, I don't know how to act around you, so
Speaker 3: I'd rather not be around you.
Speaker 2: You know what I'm saying.
Speaker 3: Because you were actively participating in all the bullshit and
Speaker 3: then you leave and cry on the internet in front
Speaker 3: of the world.
Speaker 2: That is so shady. Yeah, that's a dangerous person. I
Speaker 2: had a friend like that before.
Speaker 3: Like, just because my jokes hit harder, bitch, that don't
Speaker 3: mean you didn't joke on me first, right, just because
Speaker 3: I come back with.
Speaker 2: A one two one two. Now now you're crying. I know.
Speaker 5: I had one of my homegirls. She had got a
Speaker 5: hair transplant.
Speaker 4: She had like this thing around her head, and she
Speaker 4: had made some jokes about uh, I can't remember what.
Speaker 4: I think it's because my edges was a little thing
Speaker 4: on something right there. I was like, bitch, you look
Speaker 4: like Frankistein because she had that shit tied around And
Speaker 4: when I tell you she was big bad, I'm like,
Speaker 4: how you gonna be mad?
Speaker 3: Yeah?
Speaker 2: Why you mad? Man?
Speaker 4: Like I'm just joking.
Speaker 5: You ain't Frankenstein.
Speaker 2: You just look like, oh cry baby.
Speaker 3: Sense of the math I can't stand a sense of
Speaker 3: the maths person, if you'll get But anyway, y'all listen
Speaker 3: today's guest. She's an author. She has a new book
Speaker 3: coming out, or actually it's already released. It's called How
Speaker 3: I Married a Big Amist. Y'all stay tuned. Position is yes,
Speaker 3: it is. Hey, y'all, listen, we want to welcome today's guest.
Speaker 3: She's a new author, just publishing her first book titled
Speaker 3: How I'm Married a Big a misst Okay, this book,
Speaker 3: this book explores love, loss and healing. Ultimately, we have
Speaker 3: the amazingly resilient Bald.
Speaker 2: And the beautiful Sean call we talked back today. Hey girl, Hey,
Speaker 2: what's up?
Speaker 1: Welcome to the show girl. We appreciate him. Yes, you
Speaker 1: for inviting me, Thank you.
Speaker 2: So we gotta just talk about it today.
Speaker 4: Yeah, the title kinda tells you about basically the end
Speaker 4: part because the bigg miss is my third husband, quote
Speaker 4: unquote husband. So I've been married twice before.
Speaker 6: Him, my first husband. I found out.
Speaker 4: He was on the down low. He preferred the company
Speaker 4: of men.
Speaker 6: I was young.
Speaker 4: I was in my twenties when I married him, about
Speaker 4: twenty five.
Speaker 6: Twenty six.
Speaker 2: I feel stressed out, which we're gonna stop writing. I'm stressed.
Speaker 3: I'm thinking, like, damn, she got three We can't get one.
Speaker 3: But okay, now I.
Speaker 4: See you need one quality exactly quality, not quantity.
Speaker 6: So hold on.
Speaker 5: He was a d L brother.
Speaker 2: How did you find out?
Speaker 6: Look? But okay, so I'll tell y'all.
Speaker 4: I moved into his house, me and my two kids
Speaker 4: at the time, and after a while, things just tension, arguing,
Speaker 4: not getting along, and he left one day and never
Speaker 4: came back. And I moved into his house, but he
Speaker 4: stopped paying the mortgage, so it was like he got
Speaker 4: out before they put us out. And one morning I
Speaker 4: was like, you know how, You're like, there has to
Speaker 4: be an answer in this house somewhere. So I went
Speaker 4: looking through stuff and he had this file cabinet that
Speaker 4: I never went in, and I started going in that,
Speaker 4: like what's in here? So back at that, I don't
Speaker 4: know how old y'all are, But back in that day,
Speaker 4: I'm bill came in the mail.
Speaker 2: I don't know my mama was paying it at that time.
Speaker 4: So I don't know right down to you.
Speaker 6: Well, back then, your cell phone bill.
Speaker 4: Came in the mail and it detailed all the calls
Speaker 4: you made, the times you made them. So I'm looking
Speaker 4: through the cell phone bill and there's nothing there at
Speaker 4: the time.
Speaker 6: So I, you know, I.
Speaker 4: Go on about the next couple of days doing what
Speaker 4: I have to do because I was actually pregnant with
Speaker 4: his child at the time.
Speaker 6: So I had to take care of that situation.
Speaker 4: But then I still had this known feeling that I
Speaker 4: was missing something, that something was here.
Speaker 6: So I went back to that foul cabin.
Speaker 4: And I don't know if y'all believe in messages or
Speaker 4: divine into or things like that. So this particular day,
Speaker 4: there was a page of the cell phone bill on
Speaker 4: the floor and I was like, this was not here before.
Speaker 4: I did not see this before. And when I looked
Speaker 4: at it, there were some numbers on there. And you
Speaker 4: know how now it's worse because everything's in your phone.
Speaker 4: So you just tell Sieri or whoever to call whoever,
Speaker 4: or you just dial it. Like we don't memorize numbers
Speaker 4: away we used. So I looked at this one particular
Speaker 4: number and I'm like, I know this phone number.
Speaker 6: I know this phone number.
Speaker 4: And it was like one o'clock in the morning, and
Speaker 4: I'm like, why would he be calling this number this time?
Speaker 4: So I called the number and the person that I
Speaker 4: thought would answer answered and it was my very very
Speaker 4: good friend. So I don't know if y'all know anyone
Speaker 4: from Baltimore. Baltimore was small, especially depending on the circle
Speaker 4: you intertwined with. And when he answered, I said, I
Speaker 4: said his name and he was like yeah, and I said,
Speaker 4: do you know it's such and such.
Speaker 6: I couldn't.
Speaker 4: I didn't know if he knew his name or you know,
Speaker 4: what the situation was. And he was like, no, who's
Speaker 4: that And I was like my husband and I said,
Speaker 4: He's like no, I don't think I know him. And
Speaker 4: I said, your phone numbers on his cell phone bill
Speaker 4: at like one o'clock in the morning. And my good
Speaker 4: friend said to me, if he's calling me at that time,
Speaker 4: it could only be for one thing. And I was
Speaker 4: like oh, and he said do you have a picture
Speaker 4: of him? And I said yeah, and he's like, I'll
Speaker 4: come over and look at us.
Speaker 6: Said okay.
Speaker 4: He didn't come that day, and time went on, and
Speaker 4: one day he called me because apparently the gossip in
Speaker 4: this hair salon was me and this man.
Speaker 6: So he called me.
Speaker 4: He's like, you know, I'm sorry I didn't get over there,
Speaker 4: but I'm coming today. Did you find a picture of him?
Speaker 4: And I was like yeah, he came over. He looked
Speaker 4: at the picture and he was like, yeah, I've been
Speaker 4: with him. And I was like, been with him, been
Speaker 4: with him, and he's like yeah. And it was like
Speaker 4: a thing where you know, again, back in the day,
Speaker 4: when you're driving, when you come to a light, you
Speaker 4: like look.
Speaker 6: Around, you, your mouth, with your surroundings.
Speaker 4: Now we're on we're gonna TikTok Instagram, we're on social media.
Speaker 4: We're all on our phones when we come to a
Speaker 4: software light.
Speaker 6: But back then, you know, you might glance at the
Speaker 6: car next to you.
Speaker 4: They glanced back, and y'all had that little virtual that
Speaker 4: little eye.
Speaker 6: Contact, and that's what happened with them.
Speaker 4: And he followed him to his house and they were
Speaker 4: they had sex, and this was before he met me.
Speaker 4: But here's an interesting thing. So after that friend left,
Speaker 4: I call another friend because you know, the community's small,
Speaker 4: and I said, such and such knows him. Do you
Speaker 4: know him? And I feel like a little silence. He
Speaker 4: was like yeah, and I said, well, how do you
Speaker 4: know him? And he said we used to date, talk whatever.
Speaker 4: And I was like, okay, But this is the interesting
Speaker 4: thing about this friend.
Speaker 6: He actually met him, introduced them. He worked in the mall.
Speaker 6: We went to the mall one day, my husband and
Speaker 6: I and I said, come on in a store with me.
Speaker 6: I want you to meet such and such and he
Speaker 6: was like, no, I don't want to go in there,
Speaker 6: and I'm like, why.
Speaker 4: Not, you know, like, this is a really good friend
Speaker 4: of mine. I want you to meet him. So at
Speaker 4: the time I thought he was homophobica because he was like,
Speaker 4: I don't want to.
Speaker 6: Go in there. I'm not going in there. You go,
Speaker 6: I'm not going in there.
Speaker 4: Okay, back, So I said to myself, if I stay
Speaker 4: in this store long enough, he's gonna have to come
Speaker 4: in here to get me. Sure enough, I went in there,
Speaker 4: I'm talking and he comes in the store and I
Speaker 4: introduced them, like, hey, this is and this is and
Speaker 4: they were like, what's up.
Speaker 6: No indication they knew each other, none whatsoever.
Speaker 4: So when I called him, I was like, did you
Speaker 4: know him? He was like yeah, and you knew him
Speaker 4: before I introduced y'all. And he's like yeah.
Speaker 6: And I said, you never told me that you were intimate.
Speaker 4: With the man was about to marry you. You just
Speaker 4: let me marry us. They are who they are, and
Speaker 4: you know, and I don't know if you know who
Speaker 4: Elin Harris is because he wrote about this.
Speaker 2: I read that. I read his books. They would say,
Speaker 2: like the little I did waking in the eye.
Speaker 5: That makes me think of that episode.
Speaker 4: Of Martin where they was like, and who is your husband?
Speaker 4: And then was trying to join their group, and she
Speaker 4: was like, George, like everybody knew who your man was,
Speaker 4: but you that like, so these people knew except the
Speaker 4: friend that came over because he never.
Speaker 6: Met him before. But I'm like, you know, what kind
Speaker 6: of friend.
Speaker 4: Are you to let me marry him? Knowing that he
Speaker 4: lived this life I knew nothing about.
Speaker 6: Yeah, double licks. He was like, well, he called me,
Speaker 6: he asked me.
Speaker 4: He told me, you know, not to tell you, he
Speaker 4: tried to say when we started talking again, because of
Speaker 4: course the friendship ended for me at that point. But
Speaker 4: when we did recon years later, he said that he would.
Speaker 4: He felt like he was afraid of him. He didn't
Speaker 4: know who he knew, and he kind of threatened him
Speaker 4: and all this and all that, and he said he
Speaker 4: told him that, you know, he changed. He really loved me.
Speaker 4: He wasn't in that lifestyle anymore. All that good stuff
Speaker 4: he was delivered.
Speaker 3: See do y'all think men can be actually delivered, right,
Speaker 3: Like would you and like would you intentionally date somebody
Speaker 3: knowing and they have been with a man before?
Speaker 2: Because I would not. I wouldn't.
Speaker 9: No, no, yeah, and even because I think they think
Speaker 9: the concern is that, oh, you're gonna cheat on me
Speaker 9: with a man, but no, I just don't want a
Speaker 9: man who even thinks about physical attraction.
Speaker 6: Yeah. And my thing with that is, I how can.
Speaker 4: You suppress your your attraction if you are attracted to
Speaker 4: and see, this is.
Speaker 6: The thing about that that life as well a lot
Speaker 6: of men.
Speaker 4: Because I used to go to you know, hang out
Speaker 4: with my gay friends and go to the club and
Speaker 4: I would see guys in there and I'd be like
Speaker 4: you like, you know.
Speaker 6: Like the thug hard dudes, and I'm like okay.
Speaker 4: And they used to say, or they would feel like
Speaker 4: if they were the.
Speaker 6: Tops and not the bottoms, that they weren't gay. They
Speaker 6: didn't consider themselves gay because they weren't being penetrated. They
Speaker 6: were doing the penetration.
Speaker 4: So for me, I'm like, it's now, if you you
Speaker 4: got a woman that's ento aintal, that may satisfy you.
Speaker 4: But if you have a physical attraction to a man
Speaker 4: like if you are attracted to their body and just down, Yeah,
Speaker 4: then I know that's not a lifestyle I want to partake.
Speaker 6: And I know a lot of people, you know, they
Speaker 6: talk about it in movies.
Speaker 4: Candy and Todd just have something about not that lifestyle,
Speaker 4: but just a different lifestyle. And I'm I'm no, that's
Speaker 4: not me. And if I knew beforehand, I wouldn't have
Speaker 4: married him.
Speaker 3: I heard Baltimore was like Atlanta in that way, right,
Speaker 3: and it's like a thing in Baltimore.
Speaker 2: This is what I heard, I think from a credible source.
Speaker 3: That was locked up with a lot of them that
Speaker 3: said that it's like a thing in Baltimore to have
Speaker 3: a bad bitch and a bad nigga.
Speaker 2: I think, well, you know, Baltimore.
Speaker 6: So close to d C, so d C.
Speaker 4: Is like, that's to me, baby Atlanta when it comes
Speaker 4: to that. But I think Baltimore so close to d
Speaker 4: C that you may, you know, the Baltimore dudes may
Speaker 4: trickle off into d C and do their business and
Speaker 4: they want to come back home into Baltimore.
Speaker 6: So I wouldn't be surprised, interesting, I wouldn't be like.
Speaker 10: That.
Speaker 2: You yes, taking care of everybody.
Speaker 5: The o Mars.
Speaker 6: Now, y'all didn't watch p Valley did? Yeah, we did, yeah,
Speaker 6: because we didn't know about all that until after.
Speaker 4: I got out of jail, and I was like, you
Speaker 4: know that episode. I think everybody was like, wait, hold up, run.
Speaker 2: This bad listen.
Speaker 3: I stopped watching when uh he spit on his hand
Speaker 3: like he had to still come out like when he
Speaker 3: was looping old boy up in the office.
Speaker 2: I was like, yeah, I'm good, you know.
Speaker 11: That.
Speaker 2: I was like, so you will watch it, you would
Speaker 2: watch it, but you went like, I don't.
Speaker 4: Yeah, I don't.
Speaker 1: I don't watch Like I don't have no problem watching
Speaker 1: and it is erotic for me a little bit, but
Speaker 1: it's not something I will watch my minute.
Speaker 4: I even like to.
Speaker 1: I would even like to put ship like that on
Speaker 1: with a guy when I'm getting to know him and
Speaker 1: just see a little bit and then touches dick to see.
Speaker 5: If this hard, Because it's hard. That's a problem.
Speaker 2: That's entrapman, bitch, that's a trapman. How you did that?
Speaker 6: You need to tell you.
Speaker 1: No, because if your dick is getting hard watching too
Speaker 1: many like you need to unpack that, but not over
Speaker 1: here somewhere else.
Speaker 2: Yeah, Okay, So you move on, you leave him.
Speaker 4: Marriage to marriage to now marriage to that was a
Speaker 4: different journey. So with again, I had two kids, got married,
Speaker 4: he had none. He wanted at least one. I thought
Speaker 4: it was my wife, we duty to give him a child.
Speaker 4: We tried for about two years and nothing happened. Went
Speaker 4: to the doctor low and behold, he can't really produce
Speaker 4: children in a natural way. So then that marriage took
Speaker 4: me on a fertility journey of inter uterine insemination and
Speaker 4: then lastly IVF, which that was in itself because you
Speaker 4: have to give yourself all these medications and gestions and
Speaker 4: and something.
Speaker 6: You have to take all these tests. It's expensive. So
Speaker 6: we were so blessed that he worked for.
Speaker 4: The state of Maryland and our insurance covered at one
Speaker 4: hundred percent, like we would have, you know, the regular
Speaker 4: cope here and there, but they covered the first three
Speaker 4: rounds of IUI, the antuterin assemination, and then three rounds
Speaker 4: of IVF. So I did two rounds of IUI, and
Speaker 4: when that didn't work out, was like, okay, let's move
Speaker 4: on to IVF. And the first round was horrific, Like
Speaker 4: my medication overstimulated me so bad that I looked like
Speaker 4: I was eight months pregnant just from fluid builds up,
Speaker 4: because you know, when you're about to ovulate, your egg
Speaker 4: gets like fluid around it, like it's in a little sack.
Speaker 4: So imagine you had thirty eggs that are ready to drop,
Speaker 4: and so you overstimulate and you're holding all that fluid
Speaker 4: and I was so uncomfortable.
Speaker 6: I was nauseous. I couldn't keep anything down.
Speaker 4: Ultimately I ended up in a hospital for seven days
Speaker 4: because it was that bad.
Speaker 3: I don't understand why you would have to go through
Speaker 3: fertility treatment right with the issue. Wouldn't they be able
Speaker 3: to because I know so what I not that that
Speaker 3: naas not anyways, wouldn't they be able to retrieve some
Speaker 3: sperm from them to inserting you like, just do straight
Speaker 3: to IVF right.
Speaker 6: So that so that is what they do with both
Speaker 6: of them.
Speaker 4: So with Iuy, they take his sperm and they take
Speaker 4: the good ones and they inciminate you and then you're like, okay,
Speaker 4: let's see how that works. And that didn't work because
Speaker 4: I guess there weren't as many good sperm as there were.
Speaker 6: No I don't want to say bad sperm.
Speaker 4: But non good sperm, bad firm so with the IVF,
Speaker 4: they kind of do the same thing. They take the
Speaker 4: best of the best and they inciminate each egg and
Speaker 4: then from there they watch it and they see which
Speaker 4: ones develop the best, and then those they put back
Speaker 4: into you. So for us, they put two in, and
Speaker 4: the first time, because it was a frozen cycle, so
Speaker 4: I got so sick, they couldn't put them back in
Speaker 4: right away, so they froze them. And then when I
Speaker 4: got better, they used those and they didn't work. So
Speaker 4: then I was like, Okay, I'll do this one last time.
Speaker 10: Hm.
Speaker 3: The thawing out process of the egg could kill the egg, Yeah,
Speaker 3: kill them.
Speaker 4: Yes, I guess if they're not as strong, they wouldn't
Speaker 4: survive anyway, but it could be. It's better to do
Speaker 4: a fresh cycle where they're not frozen, because your body
Speaker 4: may take those better. And that's what happened the second
Speaker 4: time when we decided to do it again, it was
Speaker 4: a fresh cycle. I didn't overstimulate as bad, so they
Speaker 4: were able to continue and just do the retrieval put
Speaker 4: them back after they took them out. And for me
Speaker 4: that marriage, I just had the expectation and if I
Speaker 4: did all this hard work for this man, that he
Speaker 4: was going to be like the best father and the
Speaker 4: best and he wasn't. He wasn't terrible, but he wasn't
Speaker 4: as helpful like I thought. He would be excited and
Speaker 4: when the baby woke up in the middle of the night,
Speaker 4: he'd be right there to change diapers and get milk
Speaker 4: and all that.
Speaker 6: Nah, he'd be sleep and.
Speaker 4: I would have to wake like listen, you're either gonna
Speaker 4: get the pamp or you're gonna get the bottle, which
Speaker 4: one is it? And he'll like like he'd the baby
Speaker 4: be crying, he would be snoring. He wouldn't hear nothing.
Speaker 4: And after a while, I was like, you know, I
Speaker 4: gave you a child that you wanted and I'm doing
Speaker 4: everything by myself.
Speaker 3: I was like, oh, is that his first child? Yes,
Speaker 3: so he didn't. So I think that because one of
Speaker 3: my friends.
Speaker 6: Here you go, you're gonna say he knew he had.
Speaker 3: Here you go go, No, No, I'm just saying, like
Speaker 3: I think some men assume like that's just the mom's job, Like, no,
Speaker 3: you gotta help.
Speaker 2: You have to help with that.
Speaker 6: Right, Yeah.
Speaker 4: Well even when you tell them like you need to help,
Speaker 4: like you know, this is our child together, and the
Speaker 4: help still doesn't come, it's like.
Speaker 6: And then there were.
Speaker 4: Other issues too, like communication and I don't know if
Speaker 4: how much off all things that go on up here,
Speaker 4: but a few years ago and he's a correctional officer,
Speaker 4: and a few years ago there was this whole jail
Speaker 4: mafia thing and he was co mingling with one of
Speaker 4: the officers.
Speaker 6: So he said he wasn't, but I think he was.
Speaker 4: And I'm like, I better not find out that you
Speaker 4: intertwine in this little in house jail crew that's you know,
Speaker 4: about to be investigated. And it just seemed like it
Speaker 4: was downhill from from their communication was off.
Speaker 6: He's the type of person that, although y'all are married,
Speaker 6: he has his business, his personal business that he doesn't
Speaker 6: want to share with you. I'm like, I can't be.
Speaker 4: Married to somebody that has, you know, their little secrets
Speaker 4: in their own life. And here I gave you a
Speaker 4: child and you're still acting like we're roommates and all that.
Speaker 3: So now we're three is in because you I guess
Speaker 3: I'm assuming ultimately you didn't have the baby for the
Speaker 3: first Okay, So now we're three kids and two husbands
Speaker 3: in three Yes, we got the worst type of nas okay.
Speaker 3: Second one, he just was an adult. He wasn't an adult.
Speaker 3: He didn't know he didn't know what marriage was exactly
Speaker 3: what it sounds like to me.
Speaker 4: All right, the youngest child, he was home the longest,
Speaker 4: you know, first child, and was forty Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 6: That's yeah, and to take care of him chat yes, Like.
Speaker 4: I remember one time he came home from working. He
Speaker 4: was like, you didn't cook and I was like, it's
Speaker 4: leftovers in there.
Speaker 6: He was like, I don't eat leftover. So I was like, oh, okay.
Speaker 6: So I was talking to his mother.
Speaker 2: She was like, well, he used.
Speaker 6: To eat leftovers over here.
Speaker 4: I said, why, I guess he think over he was
Speaker 4: supposed to cook a hot meal for him every day.
Speaker 6: Well, there are some cereal in there as well.
Speaker 3: No, and when you take two slices of blow up
Speaker 3: between the real quick that's my daddy used to tell us.
Speaker 3: If you think you're gonna be hungry, eat sandwiches and
Speaker 3: water and go to sleep.
Speaker 2: Nigga what.
Speaker 3: That's why I feeled about these bitches online talking about
Speaker 3: they getting up three o'clock and my man wanted me
Speaker 3: up two o'clock in the morning. Listen, you might wake
Speaker 3: me up for some quick sex from the side, but
Speaker 3: you better not wake me up the cook. No goddamn
Speaker 3: scramble eggs, nigga unless they both drunk coming in from
Speaker 3: the club together.
Speaker 6: Now, if I didn't work, okay, now it depends.
Speaker 4: Yeah, if I didn't have to work to work and
Speaker 4: he didn't, you know, check all I spent and I
Speaker 4: didn't have to say, listen, I want these new shoes.
Speaker 6: And if it was not the marriage I wanted, I
Speaker 6: wouldn't mind. But if I'm.
Speaker 4: Working, take cooking, clean and doing everything, and you think
Speaker 4: you're supposed to go to.
Speaker 6: Work, I take out the trash as well.
Speaker 4: Like you just go to work and come home, go
Speaker 4: to work and come home.
Speaker 6: That doesn't work for me.
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, get to work for you, the kids, the house,
Speaker 3: but you just to go. You go to work and
Speaker 3: work for the white man and come home and come
Speaker 3: home and.
Speaker 4: You go right to the kitchen and you're like, where's
Speaker 4: my where's my dinner?
Speaker 6: You could have brought the dinner home where you was
Speaker 6: on your way home.
Speaker 5: Sorry, I agree.
Speaker 6: Now, let's not get twisted, because I don't want.
Speaker 4: The people listening and be like, oh no one did
Speaker 4: she had the many husband's knowledge I cook. I'm just
Speaker 4: not cooking every day. I'm not doing it all by myself.
Speaker 3: Right, he could cook some days or take how to cook?
Speaker 2: Yeah, right, like outsos you.
Speaker 4: Have your night off tonight, honey, I'll bring dinner home
Speaker 4: or order what you want whatever.
Speaker 5: Door he ain't even gotta go get it.
Speaker 6: Yeah, they ain't have door dash. I'll be forty nine.
Speaker 6: I'll be forty.
Speaker 2: Nine doing that. We was riding Dick and Jane and
Speaker 2: cooking by the candlelight.
Speaker 6: Where that damn old Now where that?
Speaker 4: Yeah, that's not He came bump at the water from
Speaker 4: the wells.
Speaker 6: They still do that today, depending on where they live at.
Speaker 3: Now you're right, I wear it's a well water because
Speaker 3: we don't know what the hell is in the current water,
Speaker 3: you know.
Speaker 4: Drawing out your damn hand whatnot. So yeah, then then
Speaker 4: I saw at that time, I was like, you know what,
Speaker 4: I'm a single mama, three kids. I want something different,
Speaker 4: I want something something better.
Speaker 6: So then I moved to Charlotte.
Speaker 4: Oh ship, I went from the frying pan into the fire. Yes,
Speaker 4: So I got to Charlotte and I got saddled.
Speaker 6: I started dating and I met.
Speaker 2: One person.
Speaker 6: I am married.
Speaker 4: You now So at the time, Madam, we go through
Speaker 4: our thing. We date, we lived together, we go through
Speaker 4: some infers, some infidelity issues, and I'm like, you know what, I'm.
Speaker 6: Sick of your ass. I'm out of here, packed up.
Speaker 4: Moved back to Baltimore, had a good time for two
Speaker 4: and a half years, dating and being single again, and
Speaker 4: you know, getting back into the group of my people
Speaker 4: and being around my friends.
Speaker 6: And my family again.
Speaker 4: And then he comes back and he's like, I've missed
Speaker 4: you so much. I realized what I had when I
Speaker 4: lost you. I just want I've changed, I want to
Speaker 4: do bad, I want to provide for you, all this
Speaker 4: and all that.
Speaker 6: So that said, okay, cool, We start dating again and
Speaker 6: we get engaged, we get married. Not long after we
Speaker 6: got married.
Speaker 4: These little signs come back, and I'm like, I know,
Speaker 4: after being apart artist time, you don't come back to
Speaker 4: do the same shit you did when I left you
Speaker 4: the last time.
Speaker 6: So no, no, no, I just flirt. This just flirt.
Speaker 6: I've never cheated on you. I'll never cheat on you.
Speaker 4: Okay, Fine, we move forward. We buy a house and
Speaker 4: your Pennsylvania, get a dog, all the house stuff, you know,
Speaker 4: white picking fence, all that good stuff.
Speaker 6: And then in March.
Speaker 4: I see a document in his email and drafts and
Speaker 4: it's from an attorney's office and.
Speaker 6: It said, you know, hey, mister such and such, we're
Speaker 6: the attorney for missing such and such and we need
Speaker 6: this paperwork filled out to send to the judge to
Speaker 6: sign with the divorce decree. I'm like, the divorce de crew, like,
Speaker 6: why are.
Speaker 4: They sending him this now, Midria? At this time, I've
Speaker 4: known this man.
Speaker 6: For eight years. I'm like, why they sending in him
Speaker 6: paperwork for divorce decree? Years later? So I look at
Speaker 6: its listed the date of marriage and the date of divorce,
Speaker 6: and at the time I've read it, I was like, Okay,
Speaker 6: it didn't click. It didn't register in the brain.
Speaker 4: Because you know, sometimes your eyes and your brain are
Speaker 4: not on the same page. So I go about my
Speaker 4: day and then later on I'm in a shower where
Speaker 4: I do my best thinking, and.
Speaker 6: I play out my day in my mind, and then
Speaker 6: something said, Mitch, did you pay attention.
Speaker 2: Right? You're not paying.
Speaker 6: Attention girl, So I hurry up. I'm like, oh my god,
Speaker 6: I don't.
Speaker 4: I don't think I saw what I think I saw,
Speaker 4: and took my shower because I downloaded the document to
Speaker 4: my phone, so when I got the shower, looked it up.
Speaker 4: There's sure enough, I said. This man got divorced. His
Speaker 4: divorce was final two months after we got married. But
Speaker 4: the kicker and the killer for me was I've known
Speaker 4: you all this time. I referred to her as your
Speaker 4: ex wife when I talk to you about her or anyone,
Speaker 4: and I mentioned, oh, your ex wife, your ex wife.
Speaker 4: Not once did this man can direct me and say, well,
Speaker 4: I'm still married. You allowed me because we didn't go
Speaker 4: to the courthouse and get married.
Speaker 6: We had a wedding at midnight on New Year's Eve
Speaker 6: in winter, dressed in black.
Speaker 4: The guests wore black gowns and tucks and you.
Speaker 6: Know, came out at that house.
Speaker 4: It was very for a very good party technically what
Speaker 4: it turned out to be because you can't call it
Speaker 4: a wedding reception because you can't be married to people
Speaker 4: at the same time. Well in some states you can't
Speaker 4: be right and yeah, it was like you know how
Speaker 4: it's and we as women. When I found out, my
Speaker 4: first thought was embarrassment, like you feel like, how did
Speaker 4: I let this nigga do this to me again? Like
Speaker 4: I gave you the chance to do this to me again.
Speaker 4: So basically I didn't learn anything the first go around.
Speaker 4: So I self isolated, Like I stopped hanging out with
Speaker 4: my friends. I stopped going anywhere. I would, you know,
Speaker 4: every now and then I would have people at my house.
Speaker 4: I had brunching. All that was my friends. I stopped
Speaker 4: doing all that. They would check on me, and then you.
Speaker 6: Know, you're like, oh, I'm a good girl. How you
Speaker 6: doing when you're not?
Speaker 4: I fell into this depression and my therapist was like,
Speaker 4: you need to get that out and get out your
Speaker 4: mind and get it on paper. And one day I said,
Speaker 4: you know, I'm gonna write a book. And funny thing
Speaker 4: is I was talking to one of his sisters and
Speaker 4: I said, I should profit off my pain. I can't
Speaker 4: believe he put me through orders. And she said, you should,
Speaker 4: You should write a booking profit.
Speaker 6: Off of it.
Speaker 4: And I said, you know, one girl, I am thanks
Speaker 4: for the encouragement. It was just your brother, but thanks
Speaker 4: for that. And I wrote my book in thirty days
Speaker 4: off of pure emotion.
Speaker 3: And you said, that's who you're married to still right now?
Speaker 3: Are y'all like actively together in.
Speaker 6: The same house? So there are right.
Speaker 2: Now at works and.
Speaker 4: So the same house. But so y'all amicable or what
Speaker 4: is it?
Speaker 2: Like?
Speaker 4: He has you know, he's moved into the guest room,
Speaker 4: although that's not where he wants to be, but that's
Speaker 4: where he's he is permanently. The house is on the market,
Speaker 4: so I'm trying to sell, you know, sell the house
Speaker 4: so I can move back to the South. I'm going
Speaker 4: to be a first time glamy. My daughter's pregnant, so
Speaker 4: thank you and to me, it's like the rainbow at
Speaker 4: the end of a storm. It's a chance of a
Speaker 4: new life starting over. Of course I didn't want to
Speaker 4: do it at this age, but things happen for a reason,
Speaker 4: and I believe that maybe God put all this on
Speaker 4: me to deliver a message to other women that there
Speaker 4: is no shame and loving the wrong person. It's not
Speaker 4: your fault. You love who you love and they love
Speaker 4: how they love. And if they don't love you properly,
Speaker 4: you have to whether that's storm and get through it
Speaker 4: and heal from it, learn from it, and at the
Speaker 4: end of that storm, it's going to be a beautiful rainbow.
Speaker 4: You can start over and find love again. And I
Speaker 4: think when you get to a.
Speaker 6: Particular age, You're like, man, because that's how I feel.
Speaker 4: I'm like, I don't want to be in my fifties
Speaker 4: dating not like the options. And I'm not gonna say,
Speaker 4: you know, there's pe in the dating pool. It's a
Speaker 4: little cloudy, it's a little unsavory.
Speaker 6: You don't because I.
Speaker 4: Know how it was when I was dating before I
Speaker 4: got married, and to go back to that, it's a
Speaker 4: little But I'd rather be by myself and have peace
Speaker 4: than dating these men that find you in peace and
Speaker 4: leave you in.
Speaker 2: Pieces about it.
Speaker 3: Okay, yeah, because they swear all they want is peace
Speaker 3: from a woman.
Speaker 2: But these niggas is not peaceful.
Speaker 4: Right, And that's the thing you want what you're not giving.
Speaker 4: And I felt like that was the relationship. Oh he
Speaker 4: wanted all these things, but you're not giving the basics,
Speaker 4: which is trust, loyalty, integrity and yeah and yes, because
Speaker 4: how can you just get married to someone but then
Speaker 4: you're out here with whomover that you're meeting wherever, doing whatever,
Speaker 4: and then you come home to your wife, you kiss
Speaker 4: them all in the mouth and you hug on kids.
Speaker 2: Yeah kids, Yeah, Like.
Speaker 4: I should wash your mouth out with bleach at this point,
Speaker 4: you're nasty.
Speaker 5: Would marry again?
Speaker 4: I would, but I am definitely more cautious, and I
Speaker 4: think that there were some red flegs that I didn't
Speaker 4: pay attention to. But I will definitely because sometimes we
Speaker 4: get in our own way, and what may be a
Speaker 4: red flag may not really be a red flag. Like
Speaker 4: I would, I would go on a date.
Speaker 6: And if I didn't like his shoes, I wasn't. They
Speaker 6: didn't get.
Speaker 2: You know how you I don't like how this nigga chew.
Speaker 2: I'm out.
Speaker 5: Why he got his T shirt took me.
Speaker 2: I think I'm starting to be like that shirt.
Speaker 3: I think I'm starting to be like that. Like normally
Speaker 3: I'll be staying. I'll stay in a relationship so damn
Speaker 3: long for no reason. Now I be getting out soon
Speaker 3: and earlier because.
Speaker 6: You don't have the older you get. You don't have
Speaker 6: that time to way.
Speaker 4: I don't have that time to keep wasting, you know,
Speaker 4: trying to overlook things. And then you have to convince
Speaker 4: convince yourself, like, okay, is this that bad?
Speaker 6: Can I put a with that? Can I deal with that?
Speaker 4: Like you're adjusting your once and needs for someone else,
Speaker 4: and ultimately, five years from now, the same things that
Speaker 4: you overlooked that were okay.
Speaker 6: Are now getting on your goddamn nuds.
Speaker 1: So saying that, speaking of that, let me ask you this.
Speaker 1: So he was legally married to someone else and didn't
Speaker 1: get a vorced till two months after you were married.
Speaker 5: But were you happy outside of that?
Speaker 6: No, because here's the truth.
Speaker 4: If I was happy outside of that, we could have
Speaker 4: worked through that. I would have told him, Okay, let's
Speaker 4: just get a little secret ceremony and get.
Speaker 6: Married and no one will know but us.
Speaker 4: But when I looked at everything that I went through
Speaker 4: in the just the year from January of twenty twenty two,
Speaker 4: So when I found out, I'm like, look at all
Speaker 4: this shit you you did.
Speaker 2: So this is like new, y'all, this is new new.
Speaker 4: Got married last year year January, took him on a
Speaker 4: trip for his birthday in April, came back from the trip,
Speaker 4: I'm like, you know how we had those intuitions.
Speaker 6: Something's wrong, something's not right. Look at his phone.
Speaker 4: He's all chee chatting with some two women, and I'm like,
Speaker 4: this is this isn't an appropriate conversation. And then you
Speaker 4: know it's not appropriate when you only talk to them
Speaker 4: when you're not home.
Speaker 6: If they call you in your home, you.
Speaker 4: Don't answer, Like, these are all signs to me that
Speaker 4: something's just not right here.
Speaker 6: But then you're being told, oh, they're just friends, they're
Speaker 6: just friends.
Speaker 4: No, I know who just a friend is, and I
Speaker 4: know how just friends talk to each other, and this
Speaker 4: ain't it.
Speaker 6: And one lady lives in Charlotte.
Speaker 11: Oh shit, And I texted her. I said this, so
Speaker 11: I'm about to see you, but alimation of affection. If
Speaker 11: I see your number, you can do that. Yeah, and
Speaker 11: you know, as long as one person lives there. I
Speaker 11: didn't have to live there, neither day he, but she did.
Speaker 11: She was like, well you you and your husband lose
Speaker 11: my number. Oh yeah, I'll lose your number. You better
Speaker 11: than Bess my bet?
Speaker 6: I bet.
Speaker 5: Sorry.
Speaker 1: Let me ask you this before you married him, was
Speaker 1: it ever any inkland like, oh, maybe I shouldn't do this,
Speaker 1: Maybe he's not the one, Maybe I'm making a mistake again,
Speaker 1: Like did you feel any of that before you say
Speaker 1: it was?
Speaker 4: Fifty to fifty half of me was like, you sure
Speaker 4: you want to do this? Maybe this isn't the person
Speaker 4: you're supposed to marry. But then the other half of
Speaker 4: me said, well, why would God put y'all back together
Speaker 4: if you're not supposed to be with this person? So
Speaker 4: it was like half and half and like who do
Speaker 4: you listen to? Who's stronger, who has more of a word?
Speaker 4: And then I had I realized after the fact, like
Speaker 4: you know, was that even God that put us back together?
Speaker 4: It could have been some thing or someone else. And
Speaker 4: you want to believe, oh, we're destined to be together.
Speaker 4: God brought us back together. No that the Lord probably
Speaker 4: was saying, girl, don't do it. But you're you're taking
Speaker 4: messages and your turn.
Speaker 6: You want them to believe Yeah I did.
Speaker 2: That, Yeah you did that.
Speaker 6: He said all the right things, and I was like.
Speaker 2: Okay, maybe he did not ratting.
Speaker 4: And you want to give people the benefit of the doll.
Speaker 4: You want to give them a second chance. And I
Speaker 4: wanted to believe that. You know that's certain age you want.
Speaker 6: Better for your life. You don't want to keep doing.
Speaker 4: The same old dumb shit year after year after year.
Speaker 4: And you look back, you're in your sixties, you're by yourself.
Speaker 4: No one comes to visit you, no one call you.
Speaker 4: Your kids can't stand you because you're a piece of ship.
Speaker 4: Like at some point in time, do what When do
Speaker 4: you want better for your life?
Speaker 6: I guess never. When they're like in this stuff needs
Speaker 6: in a wheelchair. I need somebody to wipe their ass,
Speaker 6: but it won't be me.
Speaker 4: Has anybody reached out to you about being in a book? Like?
Speaker 2: Why are you put living right now?
Speaker 5: That's why I want to know the show?
Speaker 2: Why he at work? That nigga like you trolling me
Speaker 2: in real life? Like I'm sick of your ass already,
Speaker 2: but you better.
Speaker 3: Make sure I pickwork right from when y'all get that
Speaker 3: divorce he for to get some money off that book.
Speaker 6: Oh he will not already, asks an attorney.
Speaker 4: I say, said, you know, if y'all live separate and
Speaker 4: y'all are living as separated, he can't get anything from
Speaker 4: the point of when y'all alienated each other. So I'm like, okay,
Speaker 4: you staying your living quarters and I'll stay in mind.
Speaker 6: Don't try to tiptoe over here. They won't be none
Speaker 6: of that.
Speaker 4: You live a sneak and get a little counting.
Speaker 6: Out because I don't know where that's I don't know
Speaker 6: where that's been, so I don't want it.
Speaker 4: When you get the community service and you're delivering, Dick,
Speaker 4: I don't want none of it.
Speaker 3: Ac if you won a part time job, he got
Speaker 3: what and we talked back uber meets that's our company
Speaker 3: act that like, obviously he got bombshit, right because y'all
Speaker 3: were dating and he was married at that time too.
Speaker 3: If it was a whole eight year marriage, right or
Speaker 3: however long it was, you said he was gone for eight.
Speaker 2: Years and then came back into your life.
Speaker 4: We were together. I've known him for eight years, okay, total,
Speaker 4: he married. He stayed married to her for so long,
Speaker 4: and she gets half his pension.
Speaker 2: Girls, shut up.
Speaker 4: Kept her on his because he's retired from the military,
Speaker 4: so he kept her on his benefits.
Speaker 6: Yeah, found out he later he was paying her cell
Speaker 6: phone bill. But try to say he forgot she was
Speaker 6: on his plane.
Speaker 4: All this nonsense, and now she gets half of his.
Speaker 4: And I think how she worked it. I mean, she
Speaker 4: she's a smart lady.
Speaker 6: She was selling her house, which he never lived in
Speaker 6: but helped her buy.
Speaker 4: And I guess the deal was, I'm gonna sell my house,
Speaker 4: I'm not giving you anything from it, and I'll go
Speaker 4: ahead and get your divorce because I know you're getting married. Wow.
Speaker 4: And then here come paperwork. She wants half your pension.
Speaker 4: So she sold her house, kept that profit and she's
Speaker 4: getting half your pension.
Speaker 2: Okay, how long ago were they actively like together?
Speaker 6: Oh it's been years.
Speaker 4: He's never went to like because she lives in Texas,
Speaker 4: so he's never like went to visit her. He never
Speaker 4: disappeared and was gone off to Texas.
Speaker 6: Somewhere and I'm like, what are you doing there? It
Speaker 6: was I don't even think she really could stand him.
Speaker 6: She never called.
Speaker 4: It was never a situation of she called late at
Speaker 4: night and they're talking and I see her number every
Speaker 4: now and then. No, they rarely talked because their kids
Speaker 4: were grown and their late mid to late twenties, so
Speaker 4: they she was never they.
Speaker 3: Just never got a divorce basically, because a lot of
Speaker 3: black people live like that. Like my mom didn't divorce
Speaker 3: my dad until maybe the month before she married my stepdad.
Speaker 4: Yeah, and she was, look, I got to divorce you
Speaker 4: because I'm marrying somebody else.
Speaker 2: But he should have done it.
Speaker 3: Did it overlapped, basically, and then he didn't initiate the
Speaker 3: divorce with her, which.
Speaker 6: If you wanted it that bad, you could have. You
Speaker 6: had time to do it. She filed for the divorce.
Speaker 4: So if she if she's never filed for the divorce,
Speaker 4: I'm even once during although we got married, if she
Speaker 4: never filed for the divorce.
Speaker 6: Where he what he even had said anything?
Speaker 4: Because we were engaged before when we lived in Charlotte,
Speaker 4: we were engaged two times and then for cheating.
Speaker 6: I was like, no, I'm not marrying. You were not left.
Speaker 4: So for you to come back and like, let's get married,
Speaker 4: I would think, calm and since we'll tell you you
Speaker 4: should have taken care of that situation when you had
Speaker 4: the chance. The first couple of times engage, you was
Speaker 4: engaged to that.
Speaker 2: Man more than once.
Speaker 4: Three times?
Speaker 2: You was engaged to him? Oh three times?
Speaker 5: Chih Now I see, Now you got to take some accountability.
Speaker 2: I did because I'm not, by said now cheated. I
Speaker 2: left him.
Speaker 6: I was doing my thing back home, having a good time,
Speaker 6: running with my girls, my homeboys, meeting, dating, all that,
Speaker 6: and then he came back and was like, I've changed.
Speaker 6: I realized what I've lost. I was miserable without you.
Speaker 4: Come to find out, he wasn't really that miserable because
Speaker 4: he was out here dropping it low and spreadnant. Why
Speaker 4: I knew why.
Speaker 6: I've seen some of the things of the chicks, and
Speaker 6: I'm like, even meet these people? I mean I I
Speaker 6: figured out now how he met.
Speaker 4: Them, because it was some people using fish or something
Speaker 4: like that.
Speaker 6: Worse than that back page.
Speaker 5: They don't get no worse bag.
Speaker 6: I don't even can can we legally even say the name?
Speaker 4: I ain't trying to look, I ain't trying to get
Speaker 4: sued now, Yes, s have y'all ever heard of school?
Speaker 2: No that I'm jealous.
Speaker 6: I wish y'all came up with that, Yeah, because they
Speaker 6: ain't trust me. Baby the Jay.
Speaker 5: Start score Crocodile.
Speaker 6: For men, because this is just women.
Speaker 4: So start that for for for women that's looking for
Speaker 4: male company at night, you know, come over, do business
Speaker 4: and going about your business.
Speaker 6: Basically, that's what it is online Ladies of the night.
Speaker 6: It's like ordering pizza. I guess you ordering pussy.
Speaker 5: I don't mean same thing that's we're trying to create.
Speaker 3: This is wild to me, so that that is scary,
Speaker 3: you know what I'm saying, Because it's not like he's
Speaker 3: having intimate relationships with people he's known for a long time,
Speaker 3: like you, right, random random bitches off the internet.
Speaker 6: Off the Internet.
Speaker 4: Yes, and people after they read the book, they're like, well,
Speaker 4: do you think he has a problem.
Speaker 6: I don't. I don't know, I don't care.
Speaker 2: I don't get the Does he think he has a problem. No, Yeah,
Speaker 2: because he he knew he got a problem.
Speaker 4: He's anytime alligator for pussy, you got a problem, You
Speaker 4: got a problem, sir.
Speaker 6: Anytime you have to spend money.
Speaker 3: He got a lot of disposable income. Tell him we're
Speaker 3: trying to open a studio.
Speaker 2: Okay.
Speaker 3: You know, because he's not only cheating like he paid
Speaker 3: for pussy. That's a whole different level of cheating for me.
Speaker 3: I might can't deal with the cheating if you ain't man.
Speaker 1: Paying some type of way, but type of way that
Speaker 1: I'd rather you take me out to dinner or on
Speaker 1: a trip and you paid for it that way, but
Speaker 1: just to order it for like fifty dollars and you know,
Speaker 1: And and it's.
Speaker 2: The quality of Acucci that is not quality, is not quality?
Speaker 5: Okay, that definitely discount.
Speaker 2: Yes, That's what I'm saying. I need that we like
Speaker 2: is the race walk and hired.
Speaker 4: Yeah, those girls are probably on drugs and all kind
Speaker 4: of stuff. They don't have no self word. They look
Speaker 4: like it because you know he's had he'll he's had
Speaker 4: pictures in his phone, little video head there.
Speaker 6: I guess, you know, if you're paying for what they
Speaker 6: let you record them or whatever. And I'm like, when
Speaker 6: did you meet these people?
Speaker 2: Did you say a condom in the video?
Speaker 6: No, it may have come, it may have surfaced later,
Speaker 6: but at the at the point of these videos. Yeah,
Speaker 6: she may have put it on with her mouth later,
Speaker 6: but at that moments.
Speaker 10: No.
Speaker 2: Yeah, this is a bit much.
Speaker 4: Imagine living living it and you finding these things as
Speaker 4: you go, and it's like one thing after another after another,
Speaker 4: and your life. It's a shock of it all for
Speaker 4: me as well, Like I we bought a house, like
Speaker 4: I thought we were gonna have this life, and come
Speaker 4: to find out you are a fucking devil in disguise,
Speaker 4: Like I feel hoodwinked.
Speaker 6: You've bemboozled me for months.
Speaker 4: And now that you know, I wrote a book and
Speaker 4: people are finding out. Now you want to be the
Speaker 4: embarrassed when you you're you're you're worried about how people.
Speaker 6: Are gonna think about you, what they're gonna say, and
Speaker 6: and and now you're concerned with your kids finding out.
Speaker 4: But you weren't None of that was a concern when
Speaker 4: you was out here, you know, fucking in your car
Speaker 4: or going to some tricks house and.
Speaker 2: None of that well whole house, cause he the trick.
Speaker 3: So for me just being so for me, like being
Speaker 3: able to just talk about my bullshit with people like
Speaker 3: that is like how I get relief from stupid bit shit, right,
Speaker 3: But like writing a book, like how was it for
Speaker 3: you to have to relive these things?
Speaker 2: Or you know, was it therapeutic to get it out?
Speaker 4: I thought it would be therapeutic to get it out,
Speaker 4: but when you sit because it actually started like I
Speaker 4: started with my childhood because I was like maybe I
Speaker 4: don't know if y'all know any West Indian, have any
Speaker 4: West Indian friends, and you know their parents raised them
Speaker 4: a little stern were raised a little different from Barados, right, yes, yes,
Speaker 4: And I don't know if had being raised away and
Speaker 4: bringing raised in the household I was raised, and if
Speaker 4: that played a part in looking for the love that
Speaker 4: you see on TV, Like, you know, he's not a
Speaker 4: good example to use these days, but like the Cliff Huxtable,
Speaker 4: you know, with Claire and their loving relationship and dancing
Speaker 4: and listening to music, and you know, raising kids together.
Speaker 4: You want that when you don't have it. And so
Speaker 4: the book starts with that, like you know, childhood and
Speaker 4: a little bit of dating in school, and then it
Speaker 4: goes into.
Speaker 6: The adult relationships.
Speaker 4: So when you have to sit and think about things
Speaker 4: that sometimes your brain wants you to forget, it can
Speaker 4: get a little traumatic. And then at one point in time,
Speaker 4: when I was writing it, when I got.
Speaker 6: To this situation, I even said.
Speaker 4: To myself, like, you were dumb and shit you put
Speaker 4: up with you let that man do more than he
Speaker 4: should have. You gave him entirely too much grace, and
Speaker 4: you forgave entirely too much. And I even told him,
Speaker 4: I said, I think I forgave you so much that
Speaker 4: you just didn't know how to stop.
Speaker 6: It's like a kid. You keep giving them candy, They're
Speaker 6: gonna keep eating it.
Speaker 2: That's why you gotta beat the ass the first time.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 4: And I thought, I thought when I beat his ass
Speaker 4: the first time and left him, that he learned.
Speaker 5: His lessons, had learned his lesses.
Speaker 4: I mean and and and actually literally like I put
Speaker 4: fist the face with him one morning because I.
Speaker 6: Rest some text between him and a coworker.
Speaker 4: And one thing, if you're gonna cheat and talk to
Speaker 4: chicks and even talk to chicks that work, that's one thing.
Speaker 6: But when you talk bad about me now talking.
Speaker 2: With the side bitches.
Speaker 3: Yeah, okay, at what point do we hold at what
Speaker 3: point do we hold other women accountable? Because I know
Speaker 3: they know he was married, You know what I'm saying.
Speaker 3: And then you like, if you know this nigga only
Speaker 3: calling you. Remember we did the live show Tammy, right
Speaker 3: and the girl in the front row and she was talking.
Speaker 3: Now your homegirl looked this man up and found out
Speaker 3: he was married?
Speaker 2: Right?
Speaker 3: What was going on both you and your homegirl mind
Speaker 3: to even make y'all saw snooping about this man. It
Speaker 3: had to have been something. He's calling you in the car,
Speaker 3: you only talk to him certain hours. Women be fucking knowing.
Speaker 3: And that's why I don't.
Speaker 2: I don't. I don't have no empathy for you.
Speaker 3: I don't have no empathy for women because women we know,
Speaker 3: we know when a nigga fucked up, and you continue on. So, yeah,
Speaker 3: you're never back to the house exactly. The home rerecord
Speaker 3: is the motherfucker that's in the home. But bitch, you
Speaker 3: have some accountability in this too, because you know that
Speaker 3: man is married and in a relationship with somebody else.
Speaker 3: But women always willing to compete, like they think that
Speaker 3: their pussy is gold.
Speaker 2: So yeah, it's just attached to somebody else, that's all.
Speaker 6: And they want to listen to when they when the
Speaker 6: man like, I'm not happy with her. She don't do this,
Speaker 6: you know.
Speaker 4: You know, back in the day, the thing was, well,
Speaker 4: I'm staying for the kids. Your kids are thirty and forty.
Speaker 2: You who are you stay? Who you stand for?
Speaker 6: And then you have I have.
Speaker 4: Friends that parents married forty years and now they're getting
Speaker 4: a divorce because they looking at each other now and
Speaker 4: they're like, I don't even like you and I don't
Speaker 4: like you either, bit so now they're breaking up. They
Speaker 4: separate in like, yeah, I just feel like some some
Speaker 4: people they want to believe that they're better than you,
Speaker 4: so they believe when he's telling you, I don't want
Speaker 4: I'm not sexually That's what he told a girl, I'm
Speaker 4: not sexually attracted to her.
Speaker 2: You talking about your ex, I'm not fucking with you, because.
Speaker 4: Yeah, the same thing to me, And she's all like,
Speaker 4: I don't know how women let themselves go.
Speaker 6: I don't let themselves go. Baby, have you seen me?
Speaker 2: I know people be very clear, thank you.
Speaker 6: Yeah.
Speaker 4: If people ask me often like I don't know, fuck,
Speaker 4: did he cheating on you?
Speaker 2: Like I don't know right?
Speaker 4: Why?
Speaker 12: Yeah?
Speaker 2: I don't never have anything to do with looks.
Speaker 3: I got a friend of mine, like anytime she's into
Speaker 3: some shit with a nigga, she always like.
Speaker 2: Like, you should have seen this this she don't look
Speaker 2: nothing like me.
Speaker 3: But they don't have nothing to do it looks like
Speaker 3: you're comparing looks and like you down to this other woman.
Speaker 2: Really it's your nigga. You know what I'm saying to him,
Speaker 2: you're comparing yourself to this other woman.
Speaker 4: I feel like some people, not even just men or women,
Speaker 4: some some people both. They they're so hard on themselves
Speaker 4: there and they're the way they look in their bodies
Speaker 4: and all that that they.
Speaker 6: Can't believe that this person wants them.
Speaker 4: So it's like they mess up on purpose just to
Speaker 4: see maybe if this person really is gonna.
Speaker 6: Stay, are they gonna leave? And if you leave them,
Speaker 6: then it's like I knew you didn't.
Speaker 2: Really love me self.
Speaker 10: Sabotage, yes, and how I believe some people don't know
Speaker 10: how to live outside of being toxic, like they have
Speaker 10: to have it somewhere in their life or something's just
Speaker 10: not right.
Speaker 2: I agree. Yep. You talk about that, that six level
Speaker 2: language toxicity.
Speaker 4: They thrive in it, they want to stay in it.
Speaker 4: They don't know how to get out of it when
Speaker 4: you try to.
Speaker 6: Help them get out of it. Now you're the problem.
Speaker 2: Mmmm hmm.
Speaker 6: I just want to get back to the South and
Speaker 6: watch my.
Speaker 4: Little my my grand baby grow and have my little
Speaker 4: grand baby and have peace and date start dating again.
Speaker 6: Cautiously.
Speaker 2: That's right.
Speaker 6: Now.
Speaker 5: We have a segment called dump dumb Bitch Story.
Speaker 1: Right, well, you're telling a story, but I don't know
Speaker 1: if you even need to tell whatever this.
Speaker 2: Episode you're so dumb, you are really dumb for.
Speaker 3: The archives because yeah, yeah, tell us the time where
Speaker 3: you're the dumbest bitch.
Speaker 2: Like get a situation.
Speaker 1: All right, hold on, we're gonna go to commercial, so
Speaker 1: I'm gonna give you a chance to think about it.
Speaker 4: We're gonna go to commercial, and you tell us when
Speaker 4: we come back, dumb bitch story. So because we've all
Speaker 4: been a dumb bitch at least once or twice. Okay,
Speaker 4: So y'all can tell me if this is good enough
Speaker 4: or not. So we moved into a house. We weren't
Speaker 4: getting along, and one day, when he went to take
Speaker 4: a shower because he worked at night, I unlocked. He
Speaker 4: had two vehicles. I unlocked the one that he would
Speaker 4: leave at home. You know how you have your run
Speaker 4: around car and then you have your your going out car.
Speaker 4: So he would take his little run around car to
Speaker 4: work and leave his going out car. So he would,
Speaker 4: but he kept his keys on. One night, I unlocked
Speaker 4: the doors while he was in a shower, put the keyback,
Speaker 4: waiting until he left, and went through his car and
Speaker 4: found a condo, and I sent him a picture of
Speaker 4: and was like, you, you know, had running around here,
Speaker 4: you got doing whatever. Why would you need a corner?
Speaker 6: We don't use them.
Speaker 4: And he gonna tell me, whenever you found in my
Speaker 4: car you put there, that was the first thing. And
Speaker 4: then tried to tell me, well, I bought it on
Speaker 4: purpose so that you could see it. And then I
Speaker 4: was like, so you bought one content So they said
Speaker 4: one one condom, Yeah, I bought one.
Speaker 12: I said, that ain't a lucy, it ain't a loose cigarettette.
Speaker 12: I said okay, and stayed with him even after finding
Speaker 12: a condom in his car.
Speaker 2: MM.
Speaker 4: Yeah, it wasn't long after that though that I did
Speaker 4: leave him, But I stayed even at the finding that, Like,
Speaker 4: I've never found a chick in his house or anything
Speaker 4: like that, because at some point in time we did
Speaker 4: live separately A couple of times. Never went over there
Speaker 4: and there was a chick over there. But yep, found
Speaker 4: a condom, a one condom. The first time I found
Speaker 4: out he cheated on me, he came home from going
Speaker 4: out of town.
Speaker 6: With the box, came back and I said what and
Speaker 6: then try to tell me I'm holding him for a friend. Nigga,
Speaker 6: that's always a liar. Yeah, but how do you hold condom? O?
Speaker 2: My god?
Speaker 4: Six forty seven? I said, So, what friend is more
Speaker 4: important to you than your relationship? Because there's one missing
Speaker 4: the con machine? Well least he's using them. And why
Speaker 4: do you need to hold it for him? Why he
Speaker 4: can't hold his.
Speaker 6: You need to hold its?
Speaker 4: Why that excuse even came out to your mouth? Like
Speaker 4: do you know how dumb you sound right now? You're
Speaker 4: holding condoms for a friend, but you have a girlfriend, right,
Speaker 4: So yeah, those were both they They're probably more, but
Speaker 4: those were fund The Connors part is real dumb and shit.
Speaker 6: Like girl shame.
Speaker 2: This was not that long ago. This might have been
Speaker 2: earlier this year. Child.
Speaker 3: The guy who I was eating came home and we
Speaker 3: I was at his house and we were about to
Speaker 3: go out to eat, but he had like not unpacked
Speaker 3: his bag from being out, big dumb box for condoms
Speaker 3: in that suitcase.
Speaker 2: I just look like I haven't even seen it, but yeah,
Speaker 2: like no, nigga, you was out out of town smashing
Speaker 2: a lot, open box were missing. Nah.
Speaker 3: I didn't even say nothing about it until months later,
Speaker 3: because you know, listen, just in case you catch me
Speaker 3: or some whole ship.
Speaker 2: I ain't saying nothing about your whole ship.
Speaker 5: Because y'all wasn't like together together.
Speaker 3: But st we've definitely was having sex with a condom.
Speaker 3: So I'm just happy to see him fucking somebody else
Speaker 3: with one. Yeah, so I was just tripping for real.
Speaker 3: I would make a music with me too.
Speaker 6: Like you have any fondoms that stops some writing in motion?
Speaker 4: Like what.
Speaker 2: Pull one of those out there boxing your suitcase? I
Speaker 2: don't have it in that box over there. I want
Speaker 2: to know, what are you doing?
Speaker 3: Now to heal, because I actually about the book you
Speaker 3: said that really wasn't how it wasn't really that therapeutic
Speaker 3: for you, you know, having to relive the things.
Speaker 2: So what are some of the things you're doing to
Speaker 2: heal to our listeners?
Speaker 3: And note, because I'm pretty you're not the only person
Speaker 3: that went through all this dumb this shit we've been
Speaker 3: through to not as extensive.
Speaker 4: But I had to sit and first I had to
Speaker 4: figure out what I wanted, because unfortunately, some people that
Speaker 4: go through these things they don't some of them don't
Speaker 4: want or don't know how to get out of it,
Speaker 4: and not to not just physically or financially, emotionally and
Speaker 4: mentally because you're like, you're thinking about what's next, what's
Speaker 4: out there? Well, if I leave him, then what And
Speaker 4: then you start, sadly enough, thinking about, well I don't
Speaker 4: want him to be with someone else.
Speaker 6: Now I didn't think that.
Speaker 4: I was like, please let him be with somebody else,
Speaker 4: because she's gonna be miserable as fun.
Speaker 6: But for me, it was.
Speaker 2: How do you move on?
Speaker 6: Like, how do you put the pieces together? What do
Speaker 6: you do now? We had a dog, we have a house.
Speaker 6: My daughter, this was her first.
Speaker 4: Year out here as far as the school, and she
Speaker 4: had behavioral issues and problems in school, and I wanted
Speaker 4: to offer her the stability of going to like the
Speaker 4: same school and not different schools every year like she's
Speaker 4: been doing.
Speaker 6: So then I'm like, damn, like how what what do
Speaker 6: I do? And why? I was just like, you know what,
Speaker 6: I can't live unhappy. When he's not home, You're wondering who.
Speaker 4: He's with, what he's doing, how long he gonna be there.
Speaker 4: If he comes home two hours after he's left, You're like, oh,
Speaker 4: he must have been with somebody else. He leaves out with,
Speaker 4: you know, cologne smelling good and his clothes on.
Speaker 6: You're like, oh, okay, so you still out here living
Speaker 6: your life. I can't live like that.
Speaker 4: So even if it means starting over and you're alone
Speaker 4: for a little bit, I've rather had that then, and
Speaker 4: my mind betraying me and thinking things, And you know,
Speaker 4: your mind can turn against you when you're you're already
Speaker 4: in a state and you're thinking about what someone else
Speaker 4: is doing, what they could be doing, like you are
Speaker 4: capable of breaking yourself apart. The other person did what
Speaker 4: they did, but the after effect of it is on you.
Speaker 4: So I had to start thinking about myself when my daughter.
Speaker 4: When I found out my daughter was pregnant. And it's
Speaker 4: funny because I found out from Amazon because she ordered
Speaker 4: some prenatal pills and they sent a notification that they
Speaker 4: were having trouble making her delivery.
Speaker 6: And I call her like, is it something you want
Speaker 6: to tell me? And she was like, why are you
Speaker 6: asking me that?
Speaker 4: I said, because Amazon's trying to get you your prenatal
Speaker 4: pills and they can't get them to you. You're pregnant girl,
Speaker 4: She was like. She started laughing, and I madebe and
Speaker 4: she went into all that. So I'm like, oh, this
Speaker 4: is definitely the sign I needed that something better is coming.
Speaker 4: I didn't want to sell my house. That wasn't in
Speaker 4: the plan. And I had to tell myself with that
Speaker 4: as well, like sometimes your plans aren't your plans, They're
Speaker 4: not the plans God has for you. And when this happened,
Speaker 4: I felt, you know, a little shaken the earth because
Speaker 4: I'm like, well, what do I do?
Speaker 6: How do I move on?
Speaker 4: And I prayed and I said to God, you must
Speaker 4: have a purpose for me. I'm gonna keep pushing on
Speaker 4: until that purpose is revealed. Put my house on the market.
Speaker 6: Called my real estate agent, like, look, how can I
Speaker 6: how much can we get for this house? She came over,
Speaker 6: She's looking around. She's like, you sure you want to
Speaker 6: sell it. I'm like, I don't have a choice.
Speaker 4: I need all ties cut talk to different attorneys. Maryland law,
Speaker 4: Pennsylvania law, totally different. Pennsylvania consernedos married, So I have
Speaker 4: to file for divorce here. Maryland considers us and considers
Speaker 4: it bigger me, so I would have to. I can
Speaker 4: file for an annulment and they avoid the marriage. It's
Speaker 4: a whole mess. So I'm like, okay, I'm gonna sell
Speaker 4: this house and then we won't have property in Pennsylvania
Speaker 4: and then I can file for my annoyment and marriage
Speaker 4: and Maryland.
Speaker 6: So I've repurposed the plan.
Speaker 4: I changed it and I and the plan is probably
Speaker 4: only for it like this month and this month, this month,
Speaker 4: because sometimes.
Speaker 6: We make a plan for four or five six years.
Speaker 4: You ever meet someone there like, what's your plan for
Speaker 4: the next five years? It's okay not to have one. Oh,
Speaker 4: my own girl just asked me that the other day,
Speaker 4: and I was.
Speaker 2: Like, girl, I don't know, I don't know. Five years
Speaker 2: is just you know, a lock. It happened the present.
Speaker 6: Yeah, let's where about today and tomorrow, in the in
Speaker 6: the weekends, and let's let's let's tackle that.
Speaker 4: So once I, you know, revamped the plan, I started
Speaker 4: to feel better. And every day is not a good day.
Speaker 4: Some days my mom reminds me of the dumb shit
Speaker 4: and where I am and how I got here. But
Speaker 4: when you know, I stopped trying to plan everything and
Speaker 4: make everything go my way, or stop trying to figure out.
Speaker 2: How I got there.
Speaker 4: Yeah, when you just let it go, it's like a
Speaker 4: calm comes and you're like, Okay, this is what I
Speaker 4: need to do.
Speaker 6: You're down for a little bit, you're crying, You're depressed.
Speaker 6: I can't go on, I don't want to live.
Speaker 4: All that stuff comes into play, But at some point
Speaker 4: in the time you got like, look, you've cried, you've
Speaker 4: been sad, you've been depressed.
Speaker 6: What are you gonna do?
Speaker 10: Now?
Speaker 6: You have to get up and you have to do something.
Speaker 4: And my something was okay, house on the market, get
Speaker 4: a profit from that, move back to the South, help
Speaker 4: my daughter with my first grand baby, Maybe open a
Speaker 4: couple of businesses. I have my esthetics license, Maybe get
Speaker 4: back into that our work. I can retire in January,
Speaker 4: like a lot of things I'm preparing for that don't
Speaker 4: include highs.
Speaker 2: Period.
Speaker 3: Okay, absolutely absolutely, y'all cop the book Okay, How I
Speaker 3: Married a Vegas. Okay, there it goes, y'all. It's gonna
Speaker 3: be New York Times bestseller from your list to God's end.
Speaker 4: Where can you find the book? Tell them where they
Speaker 4: can find your book at so you can order my
Speaker 4: book on my website, The Creative Baldgirl dot com.
Speaker 6: Traditional spelling of all the words why and girl. Just
Speaker 6: the Creative Baldgirl dot com.
Speaker 2: All right, wait, hold on, let up.
Speaker 3: Let our listeners know wherever they can reach you at Instagram, Twitter, whatever.
Speaker 4: Yes, follow me on TikTok, Instagram, Facebook, The Creative.
Speaker 6: Ball Girl is my my user name on all of them.
Speaker 4: Follow me on TikTok because I hear TikTok is the
Speaker 4: thing now and I need some TikTok shacks, Tani. I
Speaker 4: need them some thousands, honey, So follow me on TikTok.
Speaker 4: I'm gonna start hopefully doing contents. People say, girl, you
Speaker 4: gotta get people some content, get some followers. Okay, I'm
Speaker 4: gonna try. I'm gonna try. I got some you know,
Speaker 4: doing my little content calendar and stuff, and yeah, trying
Speaker 4: to get in some bookstores, some local black owned bookstores,
Speaker 4: do some book tours.
Speaker 6: You know, y'all probably see me walking around Charlotte.
Speaker 2: Hey, hey girl, I have a rise. I'm back dollar period.
Speaker 2: I love it all right, y'all. Thank you so much,
Speaker 2: Sean for.
Speaker 5: That was great.
Speaker 3: All right, y'all listen. So if you enjoy this episode
Speaker 3: and all the dumb shit, y'all, tune in every Thursday
Speaker 3: on the iHeartRadio app wherever the fuck you get your
Speaker 3: podcasts at this your co host aj Holiday two point oh,
Speaker 3: y'all follow me down if you won't get on.
Speaker 5: What's Up Tam, y'all is official, Tam Bam. I love y'all.
Speaker 4: Thank you for tuning in.
Speaker 2: Remember to speak now and never hold them niggas.
Speaker 3: Oh okay, girl, get the fuck up early and soon
Speaker 3: y'all have a good day.
Speaker 2: God bless later