WEBVTT - Three The Hard Way with Shon Cole

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<v Speaker 1>Talk Talk Talk to We're just two unapologetically black women

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<v Speaker 1>with an opinion who talks.

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<v Speaker 2>What's up, y'all?

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<v Speaker 3>Thank you for tuning in for a new episode of

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<v Speaker 3>We Talk Back, a show dedicated to you niggas and

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<v Speaker 3>these holes. I'm going back to the fucking it sounds better,

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<v Speaker 3>dreamers and chases all that shit. It's your girl, a

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<v Speaker 3>j holiday. What's up, tam, Hey, y'all, let's be tam bam.

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<v Speaker 4>I love y'all.

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<v Speaker 2>I do once again.

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<v Speaker 5>I'm reading this book called.

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<v Speaker 1>I reading this book called The Carpentary, and it was

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<v Speaker 1>just talking about doing everything with love.

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<v Speaker 4>I was like, oh, this is already how I lived

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<v Speaker 4>my life.

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<v Speaker 5>So I just feel like so much in alignment right now.

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<v Speaker 5>I just want to share that with you guys.

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<v Speaker 4>How was your weekend?

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<v Speaker 3>It was all right, girl. I don't do much like

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<v Speaker 3>literally in the house. I did work out four times

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<v Speaker 3>this weekend. Okay, that's good. Like, first of all, these

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<v Speaker 3>bags ain't that. But they're gonna be real slim period

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<v Speaker 3>very soon.

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<v Speaker 2>Y'all.

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<v Speaker 3>Yes, we ain't we talked. We ain't we talking fat?

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<v Speaker 3>No more right, We've.

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<v Speaker 4>Been real serious about our fitness.

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<v Speaker 1>So yeah, I didn't I went to spin class over

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<v Speaker 1>the weekend.

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<v Speaker 5>I've been going spind crazy.

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<v Speaker 1>So I went on Saturday and it was their seven

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<v Speaker 1>year anniversary and they had a raffle and I won.

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<v Speaker 1>I won two free I want two free tickets to

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<v Speaker 1>the Hornets game.

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<v Speaker 2>I don't know.

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<v Speaker 4>I got to pick it up when I go tonight

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<v Speaker 4>to spend. No, that was cool.

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<v Speaker 3>Nah, man, you need you need a free a free year. No,

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<v Speaker 3>that wasn't sh I know it spin is expensing.

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<v Speaker 1>That wasn't an option. And then yesterday was my mother's birthday.

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<v Speaker 1>So I went to Columbia.

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<v Speaker 2>Oh Sarah, Big Sarah.

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<v Speaker 5>She turned thirty seven. She said, uh yeah.

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<v Speaker 1>So I made her a blueberry, a living blueberry dumk cake.

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<v Speaker 5>It was so good.

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<v Speaker 2>I only had a little sound, and she was like,

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<v Speaker 2>I love dumb cake.

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<v Speaker 6>I was.

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<v Speaker 1>She was like, take some home, But I did not

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<v Speaker 1>take any home. I'm so proud of myself. I just

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<v Speaker 1>left it there for.

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<v Speaker 5>Them to eat.

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<v Speaker 3>Ben I'd have been warming ass shit up in the

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<v Speaker 3>oven in the oven with some vanilla ice cream every

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<v Speaker 3>day until it's gone.

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<v Speaker 4>So good I couldn't do it. It was too good. I

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<v Speaker 4>knew it was gonna big big my back again.

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<v Speaker 3>I'm so fat when it comes to sweets, man, that

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<v Speaker 3>swet of God, Like, I gotta keep eating it until

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<v Speaker 3>it's all gone.

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<v Speaker 5>I love it, dude. That's why I didn't bring any back,

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<v Speaker 5>because I knew what time it was.

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<v Speaker 2>It was just too good though.

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<v Speaker 4>Yep.

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<v Speaker 1>So let's get into our stupid internet news.

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<v Speaker 3>What happened, uh, Boozy asked, Booty ain't fucking with the

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<v Speaker 3>waffle House no more, y'all. Boosy is mad because this

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<v Speaker 3>nigga took a raw potato to waffle House and tried

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<v Speaker 3>to force the cook to make him some breakfast potatoes. Now,

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<v Speaker 3>anybody who can actually cook that shit is not like

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<v Speaker 3>frozen hash brown right, all right, you damn it.

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<v Speaker 2>Got the ball of potato first and all that shit.

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<v Speaker 3>And because he tips one hundred dollars when he goes

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<v Speaker 3>out the eat, he just thinks he could just pull

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<v Speaker 3>up with groceries at any fucking nearest restaurant and get

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<v Speaker 3>what he wants.

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<v Speaker 2>When I tell y'all, Bootsy be.

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<v Speaker 1>Tripping, he do be tripping, Like you just can't pull

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<v Speaker 1>up with a bag of raw potatoes.

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<v Speaker 4>Talking about cookies, He's like, what do you what do

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<v Speaker 4>you think?

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<v Speaker 2>You asked were they even raw potatoes like.

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<v Speaker 3>Nigga, if you took a Russell a Russell baked potato

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<v Speaker 3>up there, who knows what he did?

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<v Speaker 2>That Nigga is nuts.

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<v Speaker 5>I'm talking about now he eating it hot.

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<v Speaker 4>For a little while because he's mad at him.

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<v Speaker 3>Boosy, get up, my damn nerds, y'all listen. I watched

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<v Speaker 3>Boosy brother's interview. I forgot the show this past weekend,

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<v Speaker 3>But that Nigga might be a villain. Boosy might be

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<v Speaker 3>a villain dog because you know he's beefing with Young

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<v Speaker 3>Blue right now too, And I think he's just salty

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<v Speaker 3>about that man's career. As far as I'm concerned, he

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<v Speaker 3>already down this week because your wife caught your ass cheating.

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<v Speaker 3>And now I'm Boosy on your neck about some money

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<v Speaker 3>you don't owe him. It's really weird. It's giving broke, Boosy,

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<v Speaker 3>it's giving broke. It's giving financial issues. Boosy PPP coming

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<v Speaker 3>back around again. They about to lock us down. Just wait,

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<v Speaker 3>lock us back down. Joe, I want to be lost, No,

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<v Speaker 3>I don't. I do, girl, I don't want to have

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<v Speaker 3>the whole people.

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<v Speaker 2>Do not comply.

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<v Speaker 4>Send me some free money, and don't send me the word.

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<v Speaker 4>I'll be okay. Coco Golf won the US Open over

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<v Speaker 4>the weekend.

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<v Speaker 2>I said em black girl magic because.

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<v Speaker 5>I'm so proud of her.

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<v Speaker 1>Did y'all see that video from twenty twelve where she

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<v Speaker 1>was dancing in the stands of the US Open.

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<v Speaker 2>Yes, it was a little girl.

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<v Speaker 4>It was a full circle moment for her. That's so amazing.

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<v Speaker 2>And I cried a little bit when I watched that video.

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<v Speaker 2>You know a lot of.

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<v Speaker 1>People said they cried. I did not cry for that,

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<v Speaker 1>but I was very excited for her.

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<v Speaker 5>Yeah.

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<v Speaker 3>I cried, man, because you know, that's a big ass accomplishment.

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<v Speaker 3>And imagine growing up in tennis in that way. You know,

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<v Speaker 3>obviously her parents had her there at the games, right

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<v Speaker 3>she's dancing, and now you actually win it.

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<v Speaker 1>It got a three million dollar check on top of

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<v Speaker 1>all kind of endorsements that are about to come your way. Yeah, girl,

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<v Speaker 1>I love them. Proud of you, man, Yes, I love it. Yes,

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<v Speaker 1>But I don't know nothing about tennis. I ain't been

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<v Speaker 1>to a US nothing.

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<v Speaker 3>I used to play tennis when I was younger. I

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<v Speaker 3>liked it, man, I'm just all that fucking running.

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<v Speaker 1>Play in my apartment complex, you know, just because we had,

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<v Speaker 1>you know, some balls in one of my first Assenis records.

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<v Speaker 1>But it would never like, no proper training or anything

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<v Speaker 1>like that. It's hot out there.

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<v Speaker 3>My oldest sister actually played tennis like tournaments and shit

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<v Speaker 3>like that.

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<v Speaker 2>She would play.

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<v Speaker 5>Oh that's dope. She she quit it though.

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<v Speaker 3>Yeah we all fat, all us so almost got some

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<v Speaker 3>fat ass fucking chur and bitch. Meanwhile, she was walking

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<v Speaker 3>around here with a thirty two inch waist and her

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<v Speaker 3>kids fat.

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<v Speaker 2>You're not fat.

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<v Speaker 4>I don't think you're fan not now.

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<v Speaker 3>I would never have been short, Ashley. When I was

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<v Speaker 3>a little kid, I was definitely chunky. Always like if

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<v Speaker 3>I was just no, I look back at pictures now.

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<v Speaker 1>I was a I wouldn't describe you as you know,

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<v Speaker 1>actually fat Ashley.

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<v Speaker 4>I wouldn't be like that.

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<v Speaker 2>You know, no nobody would either.

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<v Speaker 3>Okay, when you look back at pictures and you thought

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<v Speaker 3>you were fat, then it's like, damn, I wish I

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<v Speaker 3>could get back there my own fat weight.

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<v Speaker 2>Yes, right, can I get my old fat weight back?

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<v Speaker 1>That's why I'm never gonna I'm gonna try my best

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<v Speaker 1>to never beat up my body anymore because I know,

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<v Speaker 1>I'm gonna look back at my body and wish I.

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<v Speaker 6>Had that body.

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<v Speaker 1>So I'm just actively trying to just appreciate.

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<v Speaker 5>Every moment in the now.

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<v Speaker 3>Yes, enjoy, everybody shy, everybody appreciated.

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<v Speaker 1>So Gunna had his first show since being released from

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<v Speaker 1>jail at Barclay's over the weekend and it.

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<v Speaker 4>Was a sodawn show.

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<v Speaker 1>Was a packed house and people were saying that they

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<v Speaker 1>were surprised at how packed the show was because of

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<v Speaker 1>that snitch label that people were trying to put on him,

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<v Speaker 1>allegedly that.

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<v Speaker 5>He's you know, he's a snitch.

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<v Speaker 1>I mean, we did see him in the courtroom saying

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<v Speaker 1>yes ma'am to a lot of things that some people

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<v Speaker 1>would say it's snitching.

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<v Speaker 5>What do you think get.

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<v Speaker 3>Rich took, he took a shut up, he took a

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<v Speaker 3>plead deal. Okay, he didn't snitch on anybody. If anything,

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<v Speaker 3>there's a lot of other people that we have seen

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<v Speaker 3>in court okay involved with YSL that were for actual snitches.

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<v Speaker 3>I don't think he should have been involved in that

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<v Speaker 3>case in the first place at all. And sorry, Nigga,

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<v Speaker 3>I'm trying to come home. Is what snitch stands That

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<v Speaker 3>majority of people in jail. Yeah, Like, I don't like

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<v Speaker 3>the I don't like the civilians, you know, calling people

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<v Speaker 3>who have these type of lifestyles snitches, Like, why y'all eat?

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<v Speaker 2>You don't know what you would do? If I know

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<v Speaker 2>exactly what I would do, snitch, snitch.

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<v Speaker 5>That's why I don't think.

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<v Speaker 1>That's why I don't participate in any criminal activity, because

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<v Speaker 1>if it's your life or mine, it's gonna be mine.

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<v Speaker 4>I'm not gonna like. I don't live by that code.

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<v Speaker 4>That's why I don't commit crimes.

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<v Speaker 3>So don't ask me this, especially if I wasn't actively

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<v Speaker 3>doing some stuff. And the thing is, what black people

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<v Speaker 3>need to realize is that we are not the main

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<v Speaker 3>ones that boy. These people music, okay, they have white

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<v Speaker 3>people who support their music. I'm pretty sure the Barclays

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<v Speaker 3>was filled with a bunch of white kids, right, Nigga,

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<v Speaker 3>he's still gonna be okay.

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<v Speaker 2>He don't just need the black that's.

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<v Speaker 1>Say, the people who probably really in the streets and

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<v Speaker 1>really live by that code wasn't coming to your concert anyway, you.

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<v Speaker 2>Know, right?

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<v Speaker 3>Yeah, So I mean get the check man, listen. Ain't no,

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<v Speaker 3>there's no rules in the streets no more. It's no

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<v Speaker 3>loyalty in the streets no more. It's no integrity, nigga,

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<v Speaker 3>do what's best for you and your family.

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<v Speaker 2>Because everybody is on that type of time.

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<v Speaker 3>It's a lot of people out here who know their

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<v Speaker 3>homeboys snitch and they still hanging out with this nigga.

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<v Speaker 1>Now, it's a lot of that. Moving around to Charlotte.

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<v Speaker 1>I ain't gonna say no names.

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<v Speaker 6>But.

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<v Speaker 3>Girl Love and Charleston, there's so many indictments day in

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<v Speaker 3>and day out, and these niggas be right outside like,

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<v Speaker 3>ain't nothing happened, And the same niggas be who was

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<v Speaker 3>talking about them hanging with them today.

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<v Speaker 2>Because they all do it.

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<v Speaker 3>They all do it when they get into them rooms,

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<v Speaker 3>small assrooms.

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<v Speaker 4>Having his arms in his shirt with a cigarette shirt.

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<v Speaker 4>He about to tell.

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<v Speaker 2>That nigga asked for a cigarette, but you know it's

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<v Speaker 2>a boy. He's about to telling the whole hood be

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<v Speaker 2>very clear, telling him ask you know for me, like snitching?

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<v Speaker 2>Is this right?

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<v Speaker 3>Like say, for instance, I commit a crime, I know

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<v Speaker 3>I did it. You know I did it right? Like say,

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<v Speaker 3>for instance, I do a murder in your car, you

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<v Speaker 3>get arrested with my car and I'm not.

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<v Speaker 4>No, I get arrested in my car because you did

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<v Speaker 4>a murder.

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<v Speaker 2>No, no, no, I let know.

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<v Speaker 3>I let you hold Yeah, yay, that's what I meant, right, Yes,

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<v Speaker 3>you let me hold your car. I commit a murder

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<v Speaker 3>in your car, you get stopped in your car, and

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<v Speaker 3>now they're catching you, getting you for the murder. I

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<v Speaker 3>feel like I'm a bitch ass nigga if I don't

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<v Speaker 3>come up there and admit that I did it instead

0:09:53.800 --> 0:09:55.720
<v Speaker 3>of letting my friends sit for some ship that I

0:09:55.760 --> 0:09:59.679
<v Speaker 3>actually did. You are not a snitch. That's not saying yes,

0:09:59.800 --> 0:10:02.720
<v Speaker 3>that's it's not. The streets will consider that snitching.

0:10:03.160 --> 0:10:07.679
<v Speaker 1>When you're down, when y'all committing crimes together and I

0:10:07.720 --> 0:10:10.920
<v Speaker 1>get caught, but I tell on everybody else to lord

0:10:11.040 --> 0:10:14.040
<v Speaker 1>lessen my sentence or to get out of jail.

0:10:14.400 --> 0:10:15.520
<v Speaker 5>That's what snitching is.

0:10:16.120 --> 0:10:19.559
<v Speaker 3>The streets considered any time you're cooperating with the police,

0:10:19.600 --> 0:10:23.880
<v Speaker 3>they consider that snitching, no matteration that like, yes they.

0:10:23.840 --> 0:10:27.559
<v Speaker 4>Do a civilian and you just I can give you.

0:10:27.520 --> 0:10:30.480
<v Speaker 3>A perfect example. This is not even snitching for real.

0:10:30.720 --> 0:10:34.080
<v Speaker 3>Remember future and what's his manager, the one who was

0:10:34.080 --> 0:10:39.960
<v Speaker 3>managed America Monica. Mm hmm, y'all know who I'm talking about.

0:10:40.000 --> 0:10:42.960
<v Speaker 3>Monica Baby Daddy. He he brought Future on the scene.

0:10:43.800 --> 0:10:47.520
<v Speaker 2>He Rocco. Future made a song about Rocco.

0:10:47.679 --> 0:10:51.760
<v Speaker 3>Future tweeted about Rocco's Rocko a snitch because this nigga

0:10:51.840 --> 0:10:54.600
<v Speaker 3>wanted his money out of him after he blew after

0:10:54.640 --> 0:10:57.160
<v Speaker 3>he blew up, we had a contract together. How is

0:10:57.200 --> 0:11:00.199
<v Speaker 3>that snitching? Because I signed. People work in court, That's

0:11:00.240 --> 0:11:01.960
<v Speaker 3>what I'm saying. The streets, they don't. They just don't

0:11:02.000 --> 0:11:06.040
<v Speaker 3>want you cooperating with with with authorities or the courts

0:11:06.280 --> 0:11:09.160
<v Speaker 3>with anything. They consider everything snitching.

0:11:09.160 --> 0:11:12.240
<v Speaker 2>If you cooperating for really, I don't know.

0:11:13.360 --> 0:11:15.680
<v Speaker 1>So if somebody kill your family member and you go

0:11:15.840 --> 0:11:18.360
<v Speaker 1>to the court and tell to go to the police,

0:11:18.640 --> 0:11:23.200
<v Speaker 1>that snitching the other family who who like the family

0:11:23.200 --> 0:11:25.600
<v Speaker 1>of the person that did it, They're gonna say you

0:11:25.679 --> 0:11:26.440
<v Speaker 1>snitching on them.

0:11:26.640 --> 0:11:30.080
<v Speaker 2>No, I don't think people, yes, y'all.

0:11:29.880 --> 0:11:35.200
<v Speaker 1>Let us know, y'all, let us and then cooperate with

0:11:35.240 --> 0:11:37.199
<v Speaker 1>the police, not regular civilians.

0:11:38.320 --> 0:11:41.280
<v Speaker 3>There's levels to this ship, and I feel like people

0:11:41.440 --> 0:11:46.280
<v Speaker 3>black people specifically consider every goddamn thing. It'd be a

0:11:46.320 --> 0:11:49.160
<v Speaker 3>lot of situations that's not even I'm not saying that's

0:11:49.200 --> 0:11:51.520
<v Speaker 3>what it is, Tammy. I am saying this is what

0:11:51.880 --> 0:11:53.640
<v Speaker 3>people really think in the streets.

0:11:53.960 --> 0:11:56.040
<v Speaker 5>That's what I'm saying. I don't know, that's what I'm saying.

0:11:56.080 --> 0:11:59.520
<v Speaker 2>I don't believe. Absolutely not, Yeah, absolutely not.

0:12:00.080 --> 0:12:02.200
<v Speaker 3>But the example I gave, like you driving my car,

0:12:02.320 --> 0:12:05.000
<v Speaker 3>it's like I mean me driving your car, I'm saying

0:12:05.080 --> 0:12:07.880
<v Speaker 3>somebody would be. I'm only considering it snitching if you're

0:12:07.880 --> 0:12:09.920
<v Speaker 3>telling on some shit that don't have nothing to do

0:12:09.960 --> 0:12:10.559
<v Speaker 3>with your case.

0:12:11.200 --> 0:12:12.880
<v Speaker 2>Do you see what I'm saying? That snitching to me?

0:12:13.280 --> 0:12:15.319
<v Speaker 3>If you're just telling the police, telling the police some

0:12:15.360 --> 0:12:17.720
<v Speaker 3>shit to get a lesser charge. You just telling on

0:12:17.800 --> 0:12:19.800
<v Speaker 3>random niggas in the hood. They putting whoever picture in

0:12:19.840 --> 0:12:21.839
<v Speaker 3>front of you, and you say, yeah, that nigga does

0:12:21.880 --> 0:12:22.600
<v Speaker 3>such and such and such.

0:12:22.679 --> 0:12:25.600
<v Speaker 2>That is snitching to me. Anything else is not snitching.

0:12:25.880 --> 0:12:26.600
<v Speaker 5>Yeah, to me.

0:12:26.840 --> 0:12:29.480
<v Speaker 1>If you if you're committing a crime and you get caught,

0:12:29.600 --> 0:12:32.360
<v Speaker 1>you got caught, You got caught, Leave everybody else out

0:12:32.400 --> 0:12:32.560
<v Speaker 1>of it.

0:12:32.600 --> 0:12:33.280
<v Speaker 5>That's how I feel like.

0:12:33.520 --> 0:12:36.360
<v Speaker 1>Right, But if you just a civilian and you and

0:12:36.480 --> 0:12:40.560
<v Speaker 1>you in some bullshit, you have every right to defend yourself.

0:12:41.800 --> 0:12:44.439
<v Speaker 2>Absolutely. Yeah, we don't be doing crime.

0:12:45.200 --> 0:12:45.840
<v Speaker 5>I don't do shit.

0:12:49.440 --> 0:12:49.520
<v Speaker 6>All.

0:12:49.720 --> 0:12:52.320
<v Speaker 5>I might speed a little bit every now and then,

0:12:52.360 --> 0:12:53.559
<v Speaker 5>But that's the gist of it.

0:12:55.080 --> 0:12:57.640
<v Speaker 3>Girl, I gotta take you earlier this year. Man, and

0:12:57.880 --> 0:13:00.480
<v Speaker 3>I hide a lawyer. One thing I can like, why

0:13:00.520 --> 0:13:03.880
<v Speaker 3>do I get punished thirty times because your insurance go

0:13:04.000 --> 0:13:06.200
<v Speaker 3>up and everything else? I think it's not fair. It's

0:13:06.240 --> 0:13:11.000
<v Speaker 3>not fucking fair. No, So, Tyreese is on the Breakfast Club.

0:13:11.080 --> 0:13:13.360
<v Speaker 3>I know y'all seen that shit. Ty RaSE is on

0:13:13.400 --> 0:13:15.760
<v Speaker 3>the Breakfast Club. He was talking about his grievances. They

0:13:15.800 --> 0:13:20.200
<v Speaker 3>all were, right, Charlamagne dj Envy. They were talking about

0:13:20.240 --> 0:13:22.640
<v Speaker 3>their grievances with him. He was talking about his grievances

0:13:22.679 --> 0:13:25.319
<v Speaker 3>with them, Like you know, he basically wanted support from

0:13:25.320 --> 0:13:27.680
<v Speaker 3>his bros. When he was going through the things with

0:13:27.760 --> 0:13:30.000
<v Speaker 3>his ex wife. That divorce really hurt that nigga.

0:13:30.040 --> 0:13:30.680
<v Speaker 2>That's what I'm seeing.

0:13:31.440 --> 0:13:34.840
<v Speaker 3>But he leaves the Breakfast Club. They all apologize each other.

0:13:35.200 --> 0:13:38.240
<v Speaker 3>He apologized to them, they apologize to him. You know,

0:13:38.920 --> 0:13:42.040
<v Speaker 3>we thought the interview. I thought the interview was pretty amicable.

0:13:42.679 --> 0:13:46.080
<v Speaker 7>So whatever feelings you have about me and what I

0:13:46.200 --> 0:13:50.160
<v Speaker 7>should be or shouldn't be doing pertaining to my approach

0:13:50.600 --> 0:13:54.320
<v Speaker 7>with how I'm unraveling and bleeding out loud in the

0:13:54.320 --> 0:13:57.120
<v Speaker 7>middle of my thing, that would have actually been the

0:13:57.160 --> 0:13:58.560
<v Speaker 7>reason to call no.

0:13:58.880 --> 0:14:01.160
<v Speaker 8>And I did have conversations with you, and this is

0:14:01.160 --> 0:14:03.480
<v Speaker 8>from before your ex wife, when you were talking to

0:14:03.520 --> 0:14:06.760
<v Speaker 8>the girl overseas and who you were as a man,

0:14:07.280 --> 0:14:10.000
<v Speaker 8>I didn't respect that. I stuck took a step back

0:14:10.040 --> 0:14:12.319
<v Speaker 8>because I didn't know what you were going through and

0:14:12.400 --> 0:14:13.880
<v Speaker 8>I tried to talk to you, and I've seen who

0:14:13.920 --> 0:14:15.640
<v Speaker 8>you were and not even like who you were online,

0:14:15.840 --> 0:14:17.920
<v Speaker 8>and to my point, I tried, and when I seen

0:14:18.000 --> 0:14:20.000
<v Speaker 8>how you were talking this way, I said, I'm going

0:14:20.040 --> 0:14:20.840
<v Speaker 8>to take a step back.

0:14:21.240 --> 0:14:22.880
<v Speaker 7>How convenient I stepped back?

0:14:23.160 --> 0:14:23.640
<v Speaker 4>What you mean?

0:14:24.760 --> 0:14:25.880
<v Speaker 7>I never stepped back.

0:14:25.760 --> 0:14:28.560
<v Speaker 8>From you, It's right, but I never talked to your

0:14:28.560 --> 0:14:30.800
<v Speaker 8>wife in a disrespectful manner, and you talked to mine

0:14:30.800 --> 0:14:34.640
<v Speaker 8>and a disrespectful manner. And I never told nobody that

0:14:34.760 --> 0:14:36.840
<v Speaker 8>even when you were on and you could say you

0:14:36.840 --> 0:14:38.360
<v Speaker 8>were on those site mads and you could say that

0:14:38.440 --> 0:14:40.440
<v Speaker 8>you warrant you, but as a man, some of the

0:14:40.480 --> 0:14:42.560
<v Speaker 8>things that you said, Tyrese deserved me to box your

0:14:42.560 --> 0:14:43.200
<v Speaker 8>mouth and.

0:14:47.080 --> 0:14:48.920
<v Speaker 4>Know we were talking because this is something that I

0:14:48.960 --> 0:14:49.640
<v Speaker 4>never wanted to say.

0:14:49.680 --> 0:14:52.200
<v Speaker 8>And since he wants to be well, why envy, I'm

0:14:52.240 --> 0:14:55.240
<v Speaker 8>telling him why you said disrespectful ship to my wife.

0:14:55.680 --> 0:14:58.360
<v Speaker 3>A couple of days later, this nigga is crying on

0:14:58.360 --> 0:14:59.760
<v Speaker 3>the internet once again.

0:15:00.360 --> 0:15:05.840
<v Speaker 2>Okay, he's obviously trying to get another viral meme gradul

0:15:06.920 --> 0:15:08.120
<v Speaker 2>after this interview.

0:15:09.280 --> 0:15:12.640
<v Speaker 3>Yes, like he was the victim, like they really did

0:15:12.680 --> 0:15:14.360
<v Speaker 3>something to him at the breakfast club.

0:15:15.080 --> 0:15:18.240
<v Speaker 2>Yes, the other day, do you hear me?

0:15:18.480 --> 0:15:22.440
<v Speaker 3>I missed a point where I had to hit Charlamagne up, like, yo,

0:15:22.880 --> 0:15:23.080
<v Speaker 3>is he?

0:15:23.200 --> 0:15:26.560
<v Speaker 2>Well? Is this real? Like I was waiting for him.

0:15:27.520 --> 0:15:30.320
<v Speaker 3>I was waiting for him to say, got y'all just

0:15:30.600 --> 0:15:35.920
<v Speaker 3>practice him acting. I was waiting for that, but it

0:15:35.960 --> 0:15:39.479
<v Speaker 3>never happened. He was dead ass serious. He was thankful

0:15:39.560 --> 0:15:43.520
<v Speaker 3>to Jess hilarious. You know she's been co hosting a

0:15:43.520 --> 0:15:47.480
<v Speaker 3>lot up there. He was very like thankful to her

0:15:47.520 --> 0:15:49.760
<v Speaker 3>for like help standing up for him in his van

0:15:50.360 --> 0:15:53.080
<v Speaker 3>vulnerable moments and not making fun of him because they

0:15:53.080 --> 0:15:55.720
<v Speaker 3>felt like Charlamagne and dj Envy was making fun of

0:15:55.760 --> 0:15:58.720
<v Speaker 3>him what they do, but they were and he was

0:15:58.800 --> 0:16:01.560
<v Speaker 3>making fun too. Yeah, it was That's why like some

0:16:01.600 --> 0:16:04.520
<v Speaker 3>people like that, I can't. That's a dangerous person.

0:16:04.920 --> 0:16:06.840
<v Speaker 2>You can't. You don't know what to say around them.

0:16:07.080 --> 0:16:08.040
<v Speaker 2>You don't know what she could do.

0:16:08.080 --> 0:16:09.520
<v Speaker 3>Like, I don't know how to act around you, so

0:16:09.560 --> 0:16:10.840
<v Speaker 3>I'd rather not be around you.

0:16:10.840 --> 0:16:11.360
<v Speaker 2>You know what I'm saying.

0:16:11.360 --> 0:16:14.400
<v Speaker 3>Because you were actively participating in all the bullshit and

0:16:14.400 --> 0:16:16.440
<v Speaker 3>then you leave and cry on the internet in front

0:16:16.440 --> 0:16:16.960
<v Speaker 3>of the world.

0:16:17.120 --> 0:16:21.640
<v Speaker 2>That is so shady. Yeah, that's a dangerous person. I

0:16:21.640 --> 0:16:22.720
<v Speaker 2>had a friend like that before.

0:16:23.280 --> 0:16:25.880
<v Speaker 3>Like, just because my jokes hit harder, bitch, that don't

0:16:25.920 --> 0:16:28.160
<v Speaker 3>mean you didn't joke on me first, right, just because

0:16:28.200 --> 0:16:28.840
<v Speaker 3>I come back with.

0:16:28.800 --> 0:16:32.160
<v Speaker 2>A one two one two. Now now you're crying. I know.

0:16:32.240 --> 0:16:34.000
<v Speaker 5>I had one of my homegirls. She had got a

0:16:34.040 --> 0:16:34.840
<v Speaker 5>hair transplant.

0:16:34.960 --> 0:16:37.360
<v Speaker 4>She had like this thing around her head, and she

0:16:37.480 --> 0:16:40.480
<v Speaker 4>had made some jokes about uh, I can't remember what.

0:16:40.720 --> 0:16:42.480
<v Speaker 4>I think it's because my edges was a little thing

0:16:42.520 --> 0:16:44.720
<v Speaker 4>on something right there. I was like, bitch, you look

0:16:44.800 --> 0:16:50.600
<v Speaker 4>like Frankistein because she had that shit tied around And

0:16:50.760 --> 0:16:53.120
<v Speaker 4>when I tell you she was big bad, I'm like,

0:16:53.160 --> 0:16:54.280
<v Speaker 4>how you gonna be mad?

0:16:56.000 --> 0:16:56.280
<v Speaker 3>Yeah?

0:16:56.440 --> 0:16:57.320
<v Speaker 2>Why you mad? Man?

0:16:57.720 --> 0:16:58.840
<v Speaker 4>Like I'm just joking.

0:16:58.920 --> 0:16:59.880
<v Speaker 5>You ain't Frankenstein.

0:17:00.040 --> 0:17:06.080
<v Speaker 2>You just look like, oh cry baby.

0:17:06.160 --> 0:17:07.879
<v Speaker 3>Sense of the math I can't stand a sense of

0:17:07.920 --> 0:17:13.080
<v Speaker 3>the maths person, if you'll get But anyway, y'all listen

0:17:13.119 --> 0:17:17.440
<v Speaker 3>today's guest. She's an author. She has a new book

0:17:17.440 --> 0:17:21.080
<v Speaker 3>coming out, or actually it's already released. It's called How

0:17:21.280 --> 0:17:27.120
<v Speaker 3>I Married a Big Amist. Y'all stay tuned. Position is yes,

0:17:27.119 --> 0:17:35.119
<v Speaker 3>it is. Hey, y'all, listen, we want to welcome today's guest.

0:17:35.680 --> 0:17:38.920
<v Speaker 3>She's a new author, just publishing her first book titled

0:17:39.200 --> 0:17:42.480
<v Speaker 3>How I'm Married a Big a misst Okay, this book,

0:17:42.640 --> 0:17:47.879
<v Speaker 3>this book explores love, loss and healing. Ultimately, we have

0:17:47.960 --> 0:17:51.080
<v Speaker 3>the amazingly resilient Bald.

0:17:50.680 --> 0:17:58.159
<v Speaker 2>And the beautiful Sean call we talked back today. Hey girl, Hey,

0:17:58.840 --> 0:17:59.480
<v Speaker 2>what's up?

0:18:00.280 --> 0:18:04.280
<v Speaker 1>Welcome to the show girl. We appreciate him. Yes, you

0:18:04.440 --> 0:18:05.960
<v Speaker 1>for inviting me, Thank you.

0:18:06.280 --> 0:18:07.960
<v Speaker 2>So we gotta just talk about it today.

0:18:08.480 --> 0:18:13.000
<v Speaker 4>Yeah, the title kinda tells you about basically the end

0:18:13.040 --> 0:18:18.200
<v Speaker 4>part because the bigg miss is my third husband, quote

0:18:18.280 --> 0:18:22.919
<v Speaker 4>unquote husband. So I've been married twice before.

0:18:22.640 --> 0:18:26.360
<v Speaker 6>Him, my first husband. I found out.

0:18:26.240 --> 0:18:29.000
<v Speaker 4>He was on the down low. He preferred the company

0:18:29.040 --> 0:18:29.520
<v Speaker 4>of men.

0:18:30.640 --> 0:18:31.320
<v Speaker 6>I was young.

0:18:31.400 --> 0:18:33.720
<v Speaker 4>I was in my twenties when I married him, about

0:18:33.800 --> 0:18:35.879
<v Speaker 4>twenty five.

0:18:35.720 --> 0:18:36.320
<v Speaker 6>Twenty six.

0:18:36.480 --> 0:18:41.080
<v Speaker 2>I feel stressed out, which we're gonna stop writing. I'm stressed.

0:18:42.800 --> 0:18:45.480
<v Speaker 3>I'm thinking, like, damn, she got three We can't get one.

0:18:45.600 --> 0:18:46.680
<v Speaker 3>But okay, now I.

0:18:46.600 --> 0:18:52.919
<v Speaker 4>See you need one quality exactly quality, not quantity.

0:18:54.080 --> 0:18:54.679
<v Speaker 6>So hold on.

0:18:56.280 --> 0:18:57.600
<v Speaker 5>He was a d L brother.

0:18:57.680 --> 0:18:58.840
<v Speaker 2>How did you find out?

0:19:00.119 --> 0:19:03.240
<v Speaker 6>Look? But okay, so I'll tell y'all.

0:19:04.600 --> 0:19:08.480
<v Speaker 4>I moved into his house, me and my two kids

0:19:08.520 --> 0:19:14.800
<v Speaker 4>at the time, and after a while, things just tension, arguing,

0:19:15.040 --> 0:19:18.080
<v Speaker 4>not getting along, and he left one day and never

0:19:18.160 --> 0:19:22.800
<v Speaker 4>came back. And I moved into his house, but he

0:19:22.880 --> 0:19:26.160
<v Speaker 4>stopped paying the mortgage, so it was like he got

0:19:26.160 --> 0:19:30.199
<v Speaker 4>out before they put us out. And one morning I

0:19:30.400 --> 0:19:32.879
<v Speaker 4>was like, you know how, You're like, there has to

0:19:32.880 --> 0:19:36.000
<v Speaker 4>be an answer in this house somewhere. So I went

0:19:36.160 --> 0:19:39.280
<v Speaker 4>looking through stuff and he had this file cabinet that

0:19:39.400 --> 0:19:42.639
<v Speaker 4>I never went in, and I started going in that,

0:19:42.840 --> 0:19:45.760
<v Speaker 4>like what's in here? So back at that, I don't

0:19:45.800 --> 0:19:48.280
<v Speaker 4>know how old y'all are, But back in that day,

0:19:49.040 --> 0:19:56.560
<v Speaker 4>I'm bill came in the mail.

0:19:58.160 --> 0:20:00.600
<v Speaker 2>I don't know my mama was paying it at that time.

0:20:00.240 --> 0:20:01.840
<v Speaker 4>So I don't know right down to you.

0:20:05.720 --> 0:20:08.120
<v Speaker 6>Well, back then, your cell phone bill.

0:20:08.040 --> 0:20:10.720
<v Speaker 4>Came in the mail and it detailed all the calls

0:20:10.840 --> 0:20:14.600
<v Speaker 4>you made, the times you made them. So I'm looking

0:20:14.600 --> 0:20:18.160
<v Speaker 4>through the cell phone bill and there's nothing there at

0:20:18.200 --> 0:20:18.639
<v Speaker 4>the time.

0:20:18.880 --> 0:20:20.359
<v Speaker 6>So I, you know, I.

0:20:20.760 --> 0:20:23.959
<v Speaker 4>Go on about the next couple of days doing what

0:20:24.000 --> 0:20:26.360
<v Speaker 4>I have to do because I was actually pregnant with

0:20:26.400 --> 0:20:27.919
<v Speaker 4>his child at the time.

0:20:29.119 --> 0:20:31.160
<v Speaker 6>So I had to take care of that situation.

0:20:31.840 --> 0:20:33.959
<v Speaker 4>But then I still had this known feeling that I

0:20:34.040 --> 0:20:36.040
<v Speaker 4>was missing something, that something was here.

0:20:36.680 --> 0:20:38.600
<v Speaker 6>So I went back to that foul cabin.

0:20:38.640 --> 0:20:41.159
<v Speaker 4>And I don't know if y'all believe in messages or

0:20:41.240 --> 0:20:45.600
<v Speaker 4>divine into or things like that. So this particular day,

0:20:45.760 --> 0:20:49.119
<v Speaker 4>there was a page of the cell phone bill on

0:20:49.200 --> 0:20:53.440
<v Speaker 4>the floor and I was like, this was not here before.

0:20:53.480 --> 0:20:56.280
<v Speaker 4>I did not see this before. And when I looked

0:20:56.280 --> 0:20:59.159
<v Speaker 4>at it, there were some numbers on there. And you

0:20:59.240 --> 0:21:03.160
<v Speaker 4>know how now it's worse because everything's in your phone.

0:21:03.200 --> 0:21:06.320
<v Speaker 4>So you just tell Sieri or whoever to call whoever,

0:21:06.440 --> 0:21:09.720
<v Speaker 4>or you just dial it. Like we don't memorize numbers

0:21:09.720 --> 0:21:12.320
<v Speaker 4>away we used. So I looked at this one particular

0:21:12.400 --> 0:21:14.720
<v Speaker 4>number and I'm like, I know this phone number.

0:21:14.760 --> 0:21:16.000
<v Speaker 6>I know this phone number.

0:21:16.440 --> 0:21:18.800
<v Speaker 4>And it was like one o'clock in the morning, and

0:21:18.880 --> 0:21:21.960
<v Speaker 4>I'm like, why would he be calling this number this time?

0:21:22.000 --> 0:21:23.840
<v Speaker 4>So I called the number and the person that I

0:21:23.920 --> 0:21:28.040
<v Speaker 4>thought would answer answered and it was my very very

0:21:28.400 --> 0:21:32.119
<v Speaker 4>good friend. So I don't know if y'all know anyone

0:21:32.160 --> 0:21:36.800
<v Speaker 4>from Baltimore. Baltimore was small, especially depending on the circle

0:21:36.960 --> 0:21:42.480
<v Speaker 4>you intertwined with. And when he answered, I said, I

0:21:42.480 --> 0:21:45.000
<v Speaker 4>said his name and he was like yeah, and I said,

0:21:45.080 --> 0:21:46.440
<v Speaker 4>do you know it's such and such.

0:21:47.480 --> 0:21:48.240
<v Speaker 6>I couldn't.

0:21:48.960 --> 0:21:51.359
<v Speaker 4>I didn't know if he knew his name or you know,

0:21:51.640 --> 0:21:54.240
<v Speaker 4>what the situation was. And he was like, no, who's

0:21:54.280 --> 0:21:57.920
<v Speaker 4>that And I was like my husband and I said,

0:21:57.960 --> 0:21:59.600
<v Speaker 4>He's like no, I don't think I know him. And

0:21:59.640 --> 0:22:02.640
<v Speaker 4>I said, your phone numbers on his cell phone bill

0:22:03.320 --> 0:22:06.320
<v Speaker 4>at like one o'clock in the morning. And my good

0:22:06.359 --> 0:22:08.960
<v Speaker 4>friend said to me, if he's calling me at that time,

0:22:09.080 --> 0:22:12.879
<v Speaker 4>it could only be for one thing. And I was

0:22:12.920 --> 0:22:15.439
<v Speaker 4>like oh, and he said do you have a picture

0:22:15.440 --> 0:22:17.480
<v Speaker 4>of him? And I said yeah, and he's like, I'll

0:22:17.480 --> 0:22:18.520
<v Speaker 4>come over and look at us.

0:22:18.520 --> 0:22:19.080
<v Speaker 6>Said okay.

0:22:19.480 --> 0:22:23.560
<v Speaker 4>He didn't come that day, and time went on, and

0:22:24.080 --> 0:22:26.919
<v Speaker 4>one day he called me because apparently the gossip in

0:22:26.960 --> 0:22:30.200
<v Speaker 4>this hair salon was me and this man.

0:22:31.080 --> 0:22:31.800
<v Speaker 6>So he called me.

0:22:31.920 --> 0:22:33.640
<v Speaker 4>He's like, you know, I'm sorry I didn't get over there,

0:22:33.680 --> 0:22:36.640
<v Speaker 4>but I'm coming today. Did you find a picture of him?

0:22:36.640 --> 0:22:40.040
<v Speaker 4>And I was like yeah, he came over. He looked

0:22:40.040 --> 0:22:43.000
<v Speaker 4>at the picture and he was like, yeah, I've been

0:22:43.040 --> 0:22:47.920
<v Speaker 4>with him. And I was like, been with him, been

0:22:47.960 --> 0:22:51.399
<v Speaker 4>with him, and he's like yeah. And it was like

0:22:51.720 --> 0:22:55.160
<v Speaker 4>a thing where you know, again, back in the day,

0:22:55.240 --> 0:22:57.720
<v Speaker 4>when you're driving, when you come to a light, you

0:22:57.800 --> 0:22:58.360
<v Speaker 4>like look.

0:22:58.200 --> 0:23:00.800
<v Speaker 6>Around, you, your mouth, with your surroundings.

0:23:00.840 --> 0:23:04.600
<v Speaker 4>Now we're on we're gonna TikTok Instagram, we're on social media.

0:23:04.600 --> 0:23:06.720
<v Speaker 4>We're all on our phones when we come to a

0:23:06.800 --> 0:23:07.560
<v Speaker 4>software light.

0:23:07.960 --> 0:23:10.239
<v Speaker 6>But back then, you know, you might glance at the

0:23:10.240 --> 0:23:11.200
<v Speaker 6>car next to you.

0:23:11.240 --> 0:23:14.480
<v Speaker 4>They glanced back, and y'all had that little virtual that

0:23:14.520 --> 0:23:15.320
<v Speaker 4>little eye.

0:23:15.119 --> 0:23:18.240
<v Speaker 6>Contact, and that's what happened with them.

0:23:18.640 --> 0:23:22.720
<v Speaker 4>And he followed him to his house and they were

0:23:23.200 --> 0:23:26.480
<v Speaker 4>they had sex, and this was before he met me.

0:23:27.080 --> 0:23:32.160
<v Speaker 4>But here's an interesting thing. So after that friend left,

0:23:32.200 --> 0:23:36.280
<v Speaker 4>I call another friend because you know, the community's small,

0:23:36.320 --> 0:23:40.560
<v Speaker 4>and I said, such and such knows him. Do you

0:23:40.680 --> 0:23:44.119
<v Speaker 4>know him? And I feel like a little silence. He

0:23:44.280 --> 0:23:47.879
<v Speaker 4>was like yeah, and I said, well, how do you

0:23:48.000 --> 0:23:52.520
<v Speaker 4>know him? And he said we used to date, talk whatever.

0:23:52.760 --> 0:23:55.280
<v Speaker 4>And I was like, okay, But this is the interesting

0:23:55.320 --> 0:23:56.439
<v Speaker 4>thing about this friend.

0:23:57.280 --> 0:24:02.640
<v Speaker 6>He actually met him, introduced them. He worked in the mall.

0:24:02.720 --> 0:24:05.800
<v Speaker 6>We went to the mall one day, my husband and

0:24:06.000 --> 0:24:08.359
<v Speaker 6>I and I said, come on in a store with me.

0:24:08.440 --> 0:24:11.400
<v Speaker 6>I want you to meet such and such and he

0:24:11.560 --> 0:24:13.520
<v Speaker 6>was like, no, I don't want to go in there,

0:24:14.280 --> 0:24:15.120
<v Speaker 6>and I'm like, why.

0:24:14.960 --> 0:24:17.200
<v Speaker 4>Not, you know, like, this is a really good friend

0:24:17.240 --> 0:24:18.719
<v Speaker 4>of mine. I want you to meet him. So at

0:24:18.720 --> 0:24:20.960
<v Speaker 4>the time I thought he was homophobica because he was like,

0:24:21.000 --> 0:24:21.640
<v Speaker 4>I don't want to.

0:24:21.600 --> 0:24:23.720
<v Speaker 6>Go in there. I'm not going in there. You go,

0:24:24.320 --> 0:24:25.440
<v Speaker 6>I'm not going in there.

0:24:26.240 --> 0:24:28.840
<v Speaker 4>Okay, back, So I said to myself, if I stay

0:24:28.840 --> 0:24:31.000
<v Speaker 4>in this store long enough, he's gonna have to come

0:24:31.040 --> 0:24:33.720
<v Speaker 4>in here to get me. Sure enough, I went in there,

0:24:33.760 --> 0:24:39.080
<v Speaker 4>I'm talking and he comes in the store and I

0:24:39.160 --> 0:24:42.240
<v Speaker 4>introduced them, like, hey, this is and this is and

0:24:42.280 --> 0:24:43.359
<v Speaker 4>they were like, what's up.

0:24:44.040 --> 0:24:47.800
<v Speaker 6>No indication they knew each other, none whatsoever.

0:24:47.920 --> 0:24:49.800
<v Speaker 4>So when I called him, I was like, did you

0:24:49.920 --> 0:24:52.080
<v Speaker 4>know him? He was like yeah, and you knew him

0:24:52.119 --> 0:24:55.120
<v Speaker 4>before I introduced y'all. And he's like yeah.

0:24:55.280 --> 0:24:59.480
<v Speaker 6>And I said, you never told me that you were intimate.

0:24:59.040 --> 0:25:02.800
<v Speaker 4>With the man was about to marry you. You just

0:25:02.920 --> 0:25:07.520
<v Speaker 4>let me marry us. They are who they are, and

0:25:07.600 --> 0:25:09.360
<v Speaker 4>you know, and I don't know if you know who

0:25:09.400 --> 0:25:11.880
<v Speaker 4>Elin Harris is because he wrote about this.

0:25:12.200 --> 0:25:16.080
<v Speaker 2>I read that. I read his books. They would say,

0:25:16.119 --> 0:25:17.920
<v Speaker 2>like the little I did waking in the eye.

0:25:18.000 --> 0:25:21.400
<v Speaker 5>That makes me think of that episode.

0:25:21.000 --> 0:25:23.439
<v Speaker 4>Of Martin where they was like, and who is your husband?

0:25:24.119 --> 0:25:25.639
<v Speaker 4>And then was trying to join their group, and she

0:25:25.760 --> 0:25:29.199
<v Speaker 4>was like, George, like everybody knew who your man was,

0:25:29.240 --> 0:25:34.679
<v Speaker 4>but you that like, so these people knew except the

0:25:34.760 --> 0:25:36.800
<v Speaker 4>friend that came over because he never.

0:25:36.680 --> 0:25:39.440
<v Speaker 6>Met him before. But I'm like, you know, what kind

0:25:39.480 --> 0:25:40.040
<v Speaker 6>of friend.

0:25:39.840 --> 0:25:43.760
<v Speaker 4>Are you to let me marry him? Knowing that he

0:25:43.920 --> 0:25:46.439
<v Speaker 4>lived this life I knew nothing about.

0:25:46.680 --> 0:25:49.240
<v Speaker 6>Yeah, double licks. He was like, well, he called me,

0:25:49.480 --> 0:25:50.199
<v Speaker 6>he asked me.

0:25:50.320 --> 0:25:53.280
<v Speaker 4>He told me, you know, not to tell you, he

0:25:53.680 --> 0:25:56.280
<v Speaker 4>tried to say when we started talking again, because of

0:25:56.280 --> 0:25:58.879
<v Speaker 4>course the friendship ended for me at that point. But

0:25:59.000 --> 0:26:01.960
<v Speaker 4>when we did recon years later, he said that he would.

0:26:02.000 --> 0:26:04.720
<v Speaker 4>He felt like he was afraid of him. He didn't

0:26:04.720 --> 0:26:06.880
<v Speaker 4>know who he knew, and he kind of threatened him

0:26:06.920 --> 0:26:08.600
<v Speaker 4>and all this and all that, and he said he

0:26:08.680 --> 0:26:11.480
<v Speaker 4>told him that, you know, he changed. He really loved me.

0:26:11.680 --> 0:26:16.800
<v Speaker 4>He wasn't in that lifestyle anymore. All that good stuff

0:26:17.119 --> 0:26:18.440
<v Speaker 4>he was delivered.

0:26:18.480 --> 0:26:21.880
<v Speaker 3>See do y'all think men can be actually delivered, right,

0:26:22.000 --> 0:26:25.040
<v Speaker 3>Like would you and like would you intentionally date somebody

0:26:25.080 --> 0:26:26.760
<v Speaker 3>knowing and they have been with a man before?

0:26:26.760 --> 0:26:28.919
<v Speaker 2>Because I would not. I wouldn't.

0:26:28.960 --> 0:26:34.840
<v Speaker 9>No, no, yeah, and even because I think they think

0:26:34.880 --> 0:26:36.960
<v Speaker 9>the concern is that, oh, you're gonna cheat on me

0:26:37.000 --> 0:26:38.600
<v Speaker 9>with a man, but no, I just don't want a

0:26:38.640 --> 0:26:42.840
<v Speaker 9>man who even thinks about physical attraction.

0:26:43.640 --> 0:26:48.960
<v Speaker 6>Yeah. And my thing with that is, I how can.

0:26:48.880 --> 0:26:54.320
<v Speaker 4>You suppress your your attraction if you are attracted to

0:26:54.440 --> 0:26:55.080
<v Speaker 4>and see, this is.

0:26:55.080 --> 0:26:57.520
<v Speaker 6>The thing about that that life as well a lot

0:26:57.560 --> 0:26:58.120
<v Speaker 6>of men.

0:26:58.280 --> 0:27:00.359
<v Speaker 4>Because I used to go to you know, hang out

0:27:00.400 --> 0:27:02.239
<v Speaker 4>with my gay friends and go to the club and

0:27:02.280 --> 0:27:04.040
<v Speaker 4>I would see guys in there and I'd be like

0:27:05.280 --> 0:27:06.640
<v Speaker 4>you like, you know.

0:27:06.760 --> 0:27:10.280
<v Speaker 6>Like the thug hard dudes, and I'm like okay.

0:27:11.119 --> 0:27:13.520
<v Speaker 4>And they used to say, or they would feel like

0:27:14.320 --> 0:27:17.919
<v Speaker 4>if they were the.

0:27:16.680 --> 0:27:20.000
<v Speaker 6>Tops and not the bottoms, that they weren't gay. They

0:27:20.000 --> 0:27:23.440
<v Speaker 6>didn't consider themselves gay because they weren't being penetrated. They

0:27:23.480 --> 0:27:24.680
<v Speaker 6>were doing the penetration.

0:27:25.760 --> 0:27:31.000
<v Speaker 4>So for me, I'm like, it's now, if you you

0:27:31.080 --> 0:27:34.280
<v Speaker 4>got a woman that's ento aintal, that may satisfy you.

0:27:34.440 --> 0:27:37.880
<v Speaker 4>But if you have a physical attraction to a man

0:27:38.000 --> 0:27:43.480
<v Speaker 4>like if you are attracted to their body and just down, Yeah,

0:27:43.680 --> 0:27:46.520
<v Speaker 4>then I know that's not a lifestyle I want to partake.

0:27:46.560 --> 0:27:48.959
<v Speaker 6>And I know a lot of people, you know, they

0:27:49.280 --> 0:27:50.520
<v Speaker 6>talk about it in movies.

0:27:52.160 --> 0:27:56.040
<v Speaker 4>Candy and Todd just have something about not that lifestyle,

0:27:56.080 --> 0:28:00.199
<v Speaker 4>but just a different lifestyle. And I'm I'm no, that's

0:28:00.320 --> 0:28:03.480
<v Speaker 4>not me. And if I knew beforehand, I wouldn't have

0:28:03.520 --> 0:28:04.560
<v Speaker 4>married him.

0:28:05.119 --> 0:28:08.359
<v Speaker 3>I heard Baltimore was like Atlanta in that way, right,

0:28:08.840 --> 0:28:10.720
<v Speaker 3>and it's like a thing in Baltimore.

0:28:10.800 --> 0:28:13.440
<v Speaker 2>This is what I heard, I think from a credible source.

0:28:13.160 --> 0:28:15.800
<v Speaker 3>That was locked up with a lot of them that

0:28:15.960 --> 0:28:18.320
<v Speaker 3>said that it's like a thing in Baltimore to have

0:28:18.359 --> 0:28:22.320
<v Speaker 3>a bad bitch and a bad nigga.

0:28:22.600 --> 0:28:24.920
<v Speaker 2>I think, well, you know, Baltimore.

0:28:24.600 --> 0:28:26.840
<v Speaker 6>So close to d C, so d C.

0:28:27.480 --> 0:28:31.280
<v Speaker 4>Is like, that's to me, baby Atlanta when it comes

0:28:31.320 --> 0:28:34.119
<v Speaker 4>to that. But I think Baltimore so close to d

0:28:34.320 --> 0:28:36.760
<v Speaker 4>C that you may, you know, the Baltimore dudes may

0:28:36.800 --> 0:28:39.040
<v Speaker 4>trickle off into d C and do their business and

0:28:39.080 --> 0:28:40.960
<v Speaker 4>they want to come back home into Baltimore.

0:28:41.000 --> 0:28:43.960
<v Speaker 6>So I wouldn't be surprised, interesting, I wouldn't be like.

0:28:46.360 --> 0:28:46.440
<v Speaker 10>That.

0:28:46.600 --> 0:28:49.480
<v Speaker 2>You yes, taking care of everybody.

0:28:49.120 --> 0:28:49.920
<v Speaker 5>The o Mars.

0:28:50.600 --> 0:28:55.040
<v Speaker 6>Now, y'all didn't watch p Valley did? Yeah, we did, yeah,

0:28:55.400 --> 0:28:58.600
<v Speaker 6>because we didn't know about all that until after.

0:28:58.640 --> 0:29:01.360
<v Speaker 4>I got out of jail, and I was like, you

0:29:01.440 --> 0:29:04.880
<v Speaker 4>know that episode. I think everybody was like, wait, hold up, run.

0:29:04.880 --> 0:29:05.760
<v Speaker 2>This bad listen.

0:29:05.800 --> 0:29:09.960
<v Speaker 3>I stopped watching when uh he spit on his hand

0:29:10.080 --> 0:29:11.680
<v Speaker 3>like he had to still come out like when he

0:29:11.760 --> 0:29:14.240
<v Speaker 3>was looping old boy up in the office.

0:29:14.360 --> 0:29:19.200
<v Speaker 2>I was like, yeah, I'm good, you know.

0:29:21.000 --> 0:29:21.080
<v Speaker 11>That.

0:29:21.760 --> 0:29:25.360
<v Speaker 2>I was like, so you will watch it, you would

0:29:25.400 --> 0:29:30.280
<v Speaker 2>watch it, but you went like, I don't.

0:29:30.360 --> 0:29:30.840
<v Speaker 4>Yeah, I don't.

0:29:30.920 --> 0:29:32.920
<v Speaker 1>I don't watch Like I don't have no problem watching

0:29:32.880 --> 0:29:34.880
<v Speaker 1>and it is erotic for me a little bit, but

0:29:35.040 --> 0:29:38.240
<v Speaker 1>it's not something I will watch my minute.

0:29:39.920 --> 0:29:40.800
<v Speaker 4>I even like to.

0:29:41.840 --> 0:29:43.760
<v Speaker 1>I would even like to put ship like that on

0:29:43.840 --> 0:29:45.800
<v Speaker 1>with a guy when I'm getting to know him and

0:29:45.960 --> 0:29:48.960
<v Speaker 1>just see a little bit and then touches dick to see.

0:29:48.840 --> 0:29:52.280
<v Speaker 5>If this hard, Because it's hard. That's a problem.

0:29:52.840 --> 0:30:04.320
<v Speaker 2>That's entrapman, bitch, that's a trapman. How you did that?

0:30:05.000 --> 0:30:06.640
<v Speaker 6>You need to tell you.

0:30:06.160 --> 0:30:08.360
<v Speaker 1>No, because if your dick is getting hard watching too

0:30:08.400 --> 0:30:11.000
<v Speaker 1>many like you need to unpack that, but not over

0:30:11.040 --> 0:30:12.120
<v Speaker 1>here somewhere else.

0:30:15.600 --> 0:30:20.440
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, Okay, So you move on, you leave him.

0:30:20.640 --> 0:30:25.760
<v Speaker 4>Marriage to marriage to now marriage to that was a

0:30:25.760 --> 0:30:30.240
<v Speaker 4>different journey. So with again, I had two kids, got married,

0:30:30.280 --> 0:30:32.800
<v Speaker 4>he had none. He wanted at least one. I thought

0:30:32.800 --> 0:30:35.160
<v Speaker 4>it was my wife, we duty to give him a child.

0:30:35.720 --> 0:30:39.280
<v Speaker 4>We tried for about two years and nothing happened. Went

0:30:39.360 --> 0:30:43.200
<v Speaker 4>to the doctor low and behold, he can't really produce

0:30:43.360 --> 0:30:46.040
<v Speaker 4>children in a natural way. So then that marriage took

0:30:46.080 --> 0:30:51.360
<v Speaker 4>me on a fertility journey of inter uterine insemination and

0:30:51.400 --> 0:30:56.520
<v Speaker 4>then lastly IVF, which that was in itself because you

0:30:56.560 --> 0:31:00.040
<v Speaker 4>have to give yourself all these medications and gestions and

0:31:00.040 --> 0:31:00.480
<v Speaker 4>and something.

0:31:00.600 --> 0:31:05.280
<v Speaker 6>You have to take all these tests. It's expensive. So

0:31:05.480 --> 0:31:07.400
<v Speaker 6>we were so blessed that he worked for.

0:31:07.360 --> 0:31:09.760
<v Speaker 4>The state of Maryland and our insurance covered at one

0:31:09.840 --> 0:31:12.120
<v Speaker 4>hundred percent, like we would have, you know, the regular

0:31:12.160 --> 0:31:16.080
<v Speaker 4>cope here and there, but they covered the first three

0:31:16.160 --> 0:31:20.200
<v Speaker 4>rounds of IUI, the antuterin assemination, and then three rounds

0:31:20.280 --> 0:31:23.280
<v Speaker 4>of IVF. So I did two rounds of IUI, and

0:31:23.400 --> 0:31:25.560
<v Speaker 4>when that didn't work out, was like, okay, let's move

0:31:25.600 --> 0:31:30.200
<v Speaker 4>on to IVF. And the first round was horrific, Like

0:31:31.000 --> 0:31:36.160
<v Speaker 4>my medication overstimulated me so bad that I looked like

0:31:36.200 --> 0:31:38.800
<v Speaker 4>I was eight months pregnant just from fluid builds up,

0:31:38.840 --> 0:31:42.120
<v Speaker 4>because you know, when you're about to ovulate, your egg

0:31:42.240 --> 0:31:44.800
<v Speaker 4>gets like fluid around it, like it's in a little sack.

0:31:45.320 --> 0:31:50.480
<v Speaker 4>So imagine you had thirty eggs that are ready to drop,

0:31:51.000 --> 0:31:54.040
<v Speaker 4>and so you overstimulate and you're holding all that fluid

0:31:54.040 --> 0:31:55.720
<v Speaker 4>and I was so uncomfortable.

0:31:55.800 --> 0:31:57.960
<v Speaker 6>I was nauseous. I couldn't keep anything down.

0:31:58.560 --> 0:32:01.720
<v Speaker 4>Ultimately I ended up in a hospital for seven days

0:32:02.200 --> 0:32:03.640
<v Speaker 4>because it was that bad.

0:32:04.640 --> 0:32:06.560
<v Speaker 3>I don't understand why you would have to go through

0:32:06.640 --> 0:32:09.600
<v Speaker 3>fertility treatment right with the issue. Wouldn't they be able

0:32:09.640 --> 0:32:13.160
<v Speaker 3>to because I know so what I not that that

0:32:13.240 --> 0:32:16.960
<v Speaker 3>naas not anyways, wouldn't they be able to retrieve some

0:32:17.080 --> 0:32:19.840
<v Speaker 3>sperm from them to inserting you like, just do straight

0:32:19.880 --> 0:32:21.160
<v Speaker 3>to IVF right.

0:32:21.560 --> 0:32:24.280
<v Speaker 6>So that so that is what they do with both

0:32:24.320 --> 0:32:24.600
<v Speaker 6>of them.

0:32:24.640 --> 0:32:28.320
<v Speaker 4>So with Iuy, they take his sperm and they take

0:32:28.400 --> 0:32:32.200
<v Speaker 4>the good ones and they inciminate you and then you're like, okay,

0:32:32.320 --> 0:32:35.800
<v Speaker 4>let's see how that works. And that didn't work because

0:32:35.960 --> 0:32:39.800
<v Speaker 4>I guess there weren't as many good sperm as there were.

0:32:41.000 --> 0:32:42.960
<v Speaker 6>No I don't want to say bad sperm.

0:32:42.600 --> 0:32:45.760
<v Speaker 4>But non good sperm, bad firm so with the IVF,

0:32:45.840 --> 0:32:47.640
<v Speaker 4>they kind of do the same thing. They take the

0:32:47.680 --> 0:32:52.800
<v Speaker 4>best of the best and they inciminate each egg and

0:32:52.840 --> 0:32:56.120
<v Speaker 4>then from there they watch it and they see which

0:32:56.160 --> 0:32:59.120
<v Speaker 4>ones develop the best, and then those they put back

0:32:59.240 --> 0:33:02.320
<v Speaker 4>into you. So for us, they put two in, and

0:33:02.360 --> 0:33:04.800
<v Speaker 4>the first time, because it was a frozen cycle, so

0:33:04.840 --> 0:33:06.960
<v Speaker 4>I got so sick, they couldn't put them back in

0:33:07.080 --> 0:33:09.720
<v Speaker 4>right away, so they froze them. And then when I

0:33:09.760 --> 0:33:13.640
<v Speaker 4>got better, they used those and they didn't work. So

0:33:13.680 --> 0:33:17.480
<v Speaker 4>then I was like, Okay, I'll do this one last time.

0:33:18.880 --> 0:33:19.000
<v Speaker 10>Hm.

0:33:19.600 --> 0:33:22.880
<v Speaker 3>The thawing out process of the egg could kill the egg, Yeah,

0:33:23.000 --> 0:33:23.640
<v Speaker 3>kill them.

0:33:24.040 --> 0:33:28.760
<v Speaker 4>Yes, I guess if they're not as strong, they wouldn't

0:33:28.800 --> 0:33:32.080
<v Speaker 4>survive anyway, but it could be. It's better to do

0:33:32.200 --> 0:33:36.000
<v Speaker 4>a fresh cycle where they're not frozen, because your body

0:33:36.000 --> 0:33:39.520
<v Speaker 4>may take those better. And that's what happened the second

0:33:39.560 --> 0:33:42.920
<v Speaker 4>time when we decided to do it again, it was

0:33:42.960 --> 0:33:46.440
<v Speaker 4>a fresh cycle. I didn't overstimulate as bad, so they

0:33:46.440 --> 0:33:49.920
<v Speaker 4>were able to continue and just do the retrieval put

0:33:49.920 --> 0:33:52.480
<v Speaker 4>them back after they took them out. And for me

0:33:52.720 --> 0:33:55.280
<v Speaker 4>that marriage, I just had the expectation and if I

0:33:55.320 --> 0:33:57.440
<v Speaker 4>did all this hard work for this man, that he

0:33:57.640 --> 0:33:59.520
<v Speaker 4>was going to be like the best father and the

0:33:59.560 --> 0:34:03.920
<v Speaker 4>best and he wasn't. He wasn't terrible, but he wasn't

0:34:03.960 --> 0:34:06.200
<v Speaker 4>as helpful like I thought. He would be excited and

0:34:06.280 --> 0:34:08.040
<v Speaker 4>when the baby woke up in the middle of the night,

0:34:08.080 --> 0:34:10.520
<v Speaker 4>he'd be right there to change diapers and get milk

0:34:10.560 --> 0:34:10.960
<v Speaker 4>and all that.

0:34:11.640 --> 0:34:12.879
<v Speaker 6>Nah, he'd be sleep and.

0:34:12.840 --> 0:34:15.319
<v Speaker 4>I would have to wake like listen, you're either gonna

0:34:15.360 --> 0:34:18.439
<v Speaker 4>get the pamp or you're gonna get the bottle, which

0:34:18.480 --> 0:34:21.720
<v Speaker 4>one is it? And he'll like like he'd the baby

0:34:21.760 --> 0:34:24.800
<v Speaker 4>be crying, he would be snoring. He wouldn't hear nothing.

0:34:25.280 --> 0:34:26.880
<v Speaker 4>And after a while, I was like, you know, I

0:34:26.920 --> 0:34:30.040
<v Speaker 4>gave you a child that you wanted and I'm doing

0:34:30.080 --> 0:34:31.200
<v Speaker 4>everything by myself.

0:34:31.360 --> 0:34:33.640
<v Speaker 3>I was like, oh, is that his first child? Yes,

0:34:34.600 --> 0:34:36.719
<v Speaker 3>so he didn't. So I think that because one of

0:34:36.760 --> 0:34:37.080
<v Speaker 3>my friends.

0:34:37.440 --> 0:34:39.680
<v Speaker 6>Here you go, you're gonna say he knew he had.

0:34:39.840 --> 0:34:43.279
<v Speaker 3>Here you go go, No, No, I'm just saying, like

0:34:44.280 --> 0:34:47.120
<v Speaker 3>I think some men assume like that's just the mom's job, Like, no,

0:34:47.200 --> 0:34:47.879
<v Speaker 3>you gotta help.

0:34:48.440 --> 0:34:49.439
<v Speaker 2>You have to help with that.

0:34:49.800 --> 0:34:51.000
<v Speaker 6>Right, Yeah.

0:34:51.040 --> 0:34:53.439
<v Speaker 4>Well even when you tell them like you need to help,

0:34:53.560 --> 0:34:57.680
<v Speaker 4>like you know, this is our child together, and the

0:34:57.800 --> 0:34:59.600
<v Speaker 4>help still doesn't come, it's like.

0:35:01.080 --> 0:35:01.840
<v Speaker 6>And then there were.

0:35:01.719 --> 0:35:04.960
<v Speaker 4>Other issues too, like communication and I don't know if

0:35:05.800 --> 0:35:09.000
<v Speaker 4>how much off all things that go on up here,

0:35:09.040 --> 0:35:12.280
<v Speaker 4>but a few years ago and he's a correctional officer,

0:35:12.320 --> 0:35:14.719
<v Speaker 4>and a few years ago there was this whole jail

0:35:14.960 --> 0:35:19.840
<v Speaker 4>mafia thing and he was co mingling with one of

0:35:19.840 --> 0:35:20.719
<v Speaker 4>the officers.

0:35:20.800 --> 0:35:22.880
<v Speaker 6>So he said he wasn't, but I think he was.

0:35:22.960 --> 0:35:24.920
<v Speaker 4>And I'm like, I better not find out that you

0:35:25.560 --> 0:35:29.279
<v Speaker 4>intertwine in this little in house jail crew that's you know,

0:35:29.640 --> 0:35:33.480
<v Speaker 4>about to be investigated. And it just seemed like it

0:35:33.520 --> 0:35:37.200
<v Speaker 4>was downhill from from their communication was off.

0:35:37.719 --> 0:35:40.479
<v Speaker 6>He's the type of person that, although y'all are married,

0:35:40.520 --> 0:35:44.360
<v Speaker 6>he has his business, his personal business that he doesn't

0:35:44.360 --> 0:35:46.680
<v Speaker 6>want to share with you. I'm like, I can't be.

0:35:46.680 --> 0:35:50.400
<v Speaker 4>Married to somebody that has, you know, their little secrets

0:35:50.400 --> 0:35:53.600
<v Speaker 4>in their own life. And here I gave you a

0:35:53.680 --> 0:35:57.200
<v Speaker 4>child and you're still acting like we're roommates and all that.

0:35:58.960 --> 0:36:01.200
<v Speaker 3>So now we're three is in because you I guess

0:36:01.239 --> 0:36:04.319
<v Speaker 3>I'm assuming ultimately you didn't have the baby for the

0:36:04.400 --> 0:36:07.960
<v Speaker 3>first Okay, So now we're three kids and two husbands

0:36:07.960 --> 0:36:14.000
<v Speaker 3>in three Yes, we got the worst type of nas okay.

0:36:14.520 --> 0:36:17.360
<v Speaker 3>Second one, he just was an adult. He wasn't an adult.

0:36:17.360 --> 0:36:19.800
<v Speaker 3>He didn't know he didn't know what marriage was exactly

0:36:19.840 --> 0:36:20.719
<v Speaker 3>what it sounds like to me.

0:36:21.640 --> 0:36:26.160
<v Speaker 4>All right, the youngest child, he was home the longest,

0:36:26.520 --> 0:36:30.080
<v Speaker 4>you know, first child, and was forty Yeah, yeah.

0:36:30.040 --> 0:36:35.279
<v Speaker 6>That's yeah, and to take care of him chat yes, Like.

0:36:36.520 --> 0:36:38.560
<v Speaker 4>I remember one time he came home from working. He

0:36:38.640 --> 0:36:40.520
<v Speaker 4>was like, you didn't cook and I was like, it's

0:36:40.600 --> 0:36:41.440
<v Speaker 4>leftovers in there.

0:36:41.520 --> 0:36:45.320
<v Speaker 6>He was like, I don't eat leftover. So I was like, oh, okay.

0:36:45.880 --> 0:36:47.239
<v Speaker 6>So I was talking to his mother.

0:36:47.400 --> 0:36:48.600
<v Speaker 2>She was like, well, he used.

0:36:48.520 --> 0:36:49.960
<v Speaker 6>To eat leftovers over here.

0:36:50.000 --> 0:36:51.719
<v Speaker 4>I said, why, I guess he think over he was

0:36:51.760 --> 0:36:54.000
<v Speaker 4>supposed to cook a hot meal for him every day.

0:36:54.040 --> 0:36:56.280
<v Speaker 6>Well, there are some cereal in there as well.

0:36:57.920 --> 0:37:02.920
<v Speaker 3>No, and when you take two slices of blow up

0:37:02.920 --> 0:37:05.080
<v Speaker 3>between the real quick that's my daddy used to tell us.

0:37:05.080 --> 0:37:07.400
<v Speaker 3>If you think you're gonna be hungry, eat sandwiches and

0:37:07.520 --> 0:37:08.480
<v Speaker 3>water and go to sleep.

0:37:08.680 --> 0:37:09.399
<v Speaker 2>Nigga what.

0:37:10.600 --> 0:37:13.080
<v Speaker 3>That's why I feeled about these bitches online talking about

0:37:13.080 --> 0:37:15.120
<v Speaker 3>they getting up three o'clock and my man wanted me

0:37:15.239 --> 0:37:17.399
<v Speaker 3>up two o'clock in the morning. Listen, you might wake

0:37:17.440 --> 0:37:19.400
<v Speaker 3>me up for some quick sex from the side, but

0:37:19.440 --> 0:37:21.560
<v Speaker 3>you better not wake me up the cook. No goddamn

0:37:21.840 --> 0:37:25.120
<v Speaker 3>scramble eggs, nigga unless they both drunk coming in from

0:37:25.120 --> 0:37:25.920
<v Speaker 3>the club together.

0:37:26.640 --> 0:37:29.560
<v Speaker 6>Now, if I didn't work, okay, now it depends.

0:37:29.760 --> 0:37:32.919
<v Speaker 4>Yeah, if I didn't have to work to work and

0:37:33.239 --> 0:37:36.880
<v Speaker 4>he didn't, you know, check all I spent and I

0:37:36.920 --> 0:37:39.680
<v Speaker 4>didn't have to say, listen, I want these new shoes.

0:37:39.800 --> 0:37:44.759
<v Speaker 6>And if it was not the marriage I wanted, I

0:37:44.760 --> 0:37:47.240
<v Speaker 6>wouldn't mind. But if I'm.

0:37:47.080 --> 0:37:50.399
<v Speaker 4>Working, take cooking, clean and doing everything, and you think

0:37:50.400 --> 0:37:51.359
<v Speaker 4>you're supposed to go to.

0:37:51.360 --> 0:37:54.600
<v Speaker 6>Work, I take out the trash as well.

0:37:54.640 --> 0:37:56.400
<v Speaker 4>Like you just go to work and come home, go

0:37:56.440 --> 0:37:57.239
<v Speaker 4>to work and come home.

0:37:57.640 --> 0:37:58.520
<v Speaker 6>That doesn't work for me.

0:38:00.400 --> 0:38:03.800
<v Speaker 3>Yeah, yeah, get to work for you, the kids, the house,

0:38:03.840 --> 0:38:05.400
<v Speaker 3>but you just to go. You go to work and

0:38:05.400 --> 0:38:07.239
<v Speaker 3>work for the white man and come home and come

0:38:07.239 --> 0:38:08.879
<v Speaker 3>home and.

0:38:08.880 --> 0:38:11.080
<v Speaker 4>You go right to the kitchen and you're like, where's

0:38:11.120 --> 0:38:12.280
<v Speaker 4>my where's my dinner?

0:38:12.800 --> 0:38:15.040
<v Speaker 6>You could have brought the dinner home where you was

0:38:15.080 --> 0:38:16.120
<v Speaker 6>on your way home.

0:38:16.400 --> 0:38:18.080
<v Speaker 5>Sorry, I agree.

0:38:19.400 --> 0:38:21.880
<v Speaker 6>Now, let's not get twisted, because I don't want.

0:38:21.760 --> 0:38:23.600
<v Speaker 4>The people listening and be like, oh no one did

0:38:23.600 --> 0:38:26.400
<v Speaker 4>she had the many husband's knowledge I cook. I'm just

0:38:26.440 --> 0:38:31.359
<v Speaker 4>not cooking every day. I'm not doing it all by myself.

0:38:32.120 --> 0:38:36.400
<v Speaker 3>Right, he could cook some days or take how to cook?

0:38:36.800 --> 0:38:39.479
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, right, like outsos you.

0:38:39.440 --> 0:38:42.080
<v Speaker 4>Have your night off tonight, honey, I'll bring dinner home

0:38:42.200 --> 0:38:44.400
<v Speaker 4>or order what you want whatever.

0:38:44.760 --> 0:38:47.040
<v Speaker 5>Door he ain't even gotta go get it.

0:38:47.160 --> 0:38:53.680
<v Speaker 6>Yeah, they ain't have door dash. I'll be forty nine.

0:38:54.400 --> 0:38:55.480
<v Speaker 6>I'll be forty.

0:38:55.239 --> 0:39:02.880
<v Speaker 2>Nine doing that. We was riding Dick and Jane and

0:39:02.920 --> 0:39:04.200
<v Speaker 2>cooking by the candlelight.

0:39:07.040 --> 0:39:10.040
<v Speaker 6>Where that damn old Now where that?

0:39:12.480 --> 0:39:18.560
<v Speaker 4>Yeah, that's not He came bump at the water from

0:39:18.600 --> 0:39:19.200
<v Speaker 4>the wells.

0:39:21.360 --> 0:39:23.640
<v Speaker 6>They still do that today, depending on where they live at.

0:39:23.680 --> 0:39:26.960
<v Speaker 3>Now you're right, I wear it's a well water because

0:39:26.960 --> 0:39:28.879
<v Speaker 3>we don't know what the hell is in the current water,

0:39:29.600 --> 0:39:29.920
<v Speaker 3>you know.

0:39:30.360 --> 0:39:33.960
<v Speaker 4>Drawing out your damn hand whatnot. So yeah, then then

0:39:34.440 --> 0:39:36.480
<v Speaker 4>I saw at that time, I was like, you know what,

0:39:36.600 --> 0:39:39.880
<v Speaker 4>I'm a single mama, three kids. I want something different,

0:39:39.960 --> 0:39:41.400
<v Speaker 4>I want something something better.

0:39:41.480 --> 0:39:43.120
<v Speaker 6>So then I moved to Charlotte.

0:39:44.160 --> 0:39:50.560
<v Speaker 4>Oh ship, I went from the frying pan into the fire. Yes,

0:39:50.719 --> 0:39:53.759
<v Speaker 4>So I got to Charlotte and I got saddled.

0:39:53.840 --> 0:39:57.560
<v Speaker 6>I started dating and I met.

0:39:58.160 --> 0:39:58.760
<v Speaker 2>One person.

0:39:58.880 --> 0:39:59.720
<v Speaker 6>I am married.

0:40:00.040 --> 0:40:03.399
<v Speaker 4>You now So at the time, Madam, we go through

0:40:03.440 --> 0:40:07.359
<v Speaker 4>our thing. We date, we lived together, we go through

0:40:07.400 --> 0:40:12.040
<v Speaker 4>some infers, some infidelity issues, and I'm like, you know what, I'm.

0:40:11.920 --> 0:40:14.920
<v Speaker 6>Sick of your ass. I'm out of here, packed up.

0:40:15.040 --> 0:40:18.359
<v Speaker 4>Moved back to Baltimore, had a good time for two

0:40:18.400 --> 0:40:21.560
<v Speaker 4>and a half years, dating and being single again, and

0:40:21.640 --> 0:40:24.320
<v Speaker 4>you know, getting back into the group of my people

0:40:24.400 --> 0:40:26.360
<v Speaker 4>and being around my friends.

0:40:25.960 --> 0:40:27.160
<v Speaker 6>And my family again.

0:40:27.840 --> 0:40:30.080
<v Speaker 4>And then he comes back and he's like, I've missed

0:40:30.120 --> 0:40:32.560
<v Speaker 4>you so much. I realized what I had when I

0:40:32.680 --> 0:40:35.840
<v Speaker 4>lost you. I just want I've changed, I want to

0:40:35.880 --> 0:40:38.000
<v Speaker 4>do bad, I want to provide for you, all this

0:40:38.120 --> 0:40:38.520
<v Speaker 4>and all that.

0:40:39.440 --> 0:40:43.040
<v Speaker 6>So that said, okay, cool, We start dating again and

0:40:43.040 --> 0:40:46.920
<v Speaker 6>we get engaged, we get married. Not long after we

0:40:46.960 --> 0:40:48.120
<v Speaker 6>got married.

0:40:48.480 --> 0:40:51.279
<v Speaker 4>These little signs come back, and I'm like, I know,

0:40:51.560 --> 0:40:54.920
<v Speaker 4>after being apart artist time, you don't come back to

0:40:55.000 --> 0:40:58.239
<v Speaker 4>do the same shit you did when I left you

0:40:58.800 --> 0:40:59.560
<v Speaker 4>the last time.

0:41:01.160 --> 0:41:04.040
<v Speaker 6>So no, no, no, I just flirt. This just flirt.

0:41:04.080 --> 0:41:06.279
<v Speaker 6>I've never cheated on you. I'll never cheat on you.

0:41:06.360 --> 0:41:09.960
<v Speaker 4>Okay, Fine, we move forward. We buy a house and

0:41:10.120 --> 0:41:15.520
<v Speaker 4>your Pennsylvania, get a dog, all the house stuff, you know,

0:41:16.320 --> 0:41:18.560
<v Speaker 4>white picking fence, all that good stuff.

0:41:20.760 --> 0:41:22.319
<v Speaker 6>And then in March.

0:41:24.000 --> 0:41:27.040
<v Speaker 4>I see a document in his email and drafts and

0:41:27.080 --> 0:41:28.799
<v Speaker 4>it's from an attorney's office and.

0:41:28.680 --> 0:41:31.840
<v Speaker 6>It said, you know, hey, mister such and such, we're

0:41:31.880 --> 0:41:35.600
<v Speaker 6>the attorney for missing such and such and we need

0:41:35.640 --> 0:41:38.080
<v Speaker 6>this paperwork filled out to send to the judge to

0:41:38.200 --> 0:41:42.719
<v Speaker 6>sign with the divorce decree. I'm like, the divorce de crew, like,

0:41:42.760 --> 0:41:43.160
<v Speaker 6>why are.

0:41:43.040 --> 0:41:45.640
<v Speaker 4>They sending him this now, Midria? At this time, I've

0:41:45.640 --> 0:41:46.440
<v Speaker 4>known this man.

0:41:46.280 --> 0:41:50.200
<v Speaker 6>For eight years. I'm like, why they sending in him

0:41:50.800 --> 0:41:55.000
<v Speaker 6>paperwork for divorce decree? Years later? So I look at

0:41:55.120 --> 0:41:58.320
<v Speaker 6>its listed the date of marriage and the date of divorce,

0:41:58.360 --> 0:42:00.240
<v Speaker 6>and at the time I've read it, I was like, Okay,

0:42:00.360 --> 0:42:03.040
<v Speaker 6>it didn't click. It didn't register in the brain.

0:42:02.800 --> 0:42:06.000
<v Speaker 4>Because you know, sometimes your eyes and your brain are

0:42:06.280 --> 0:42:09.799
<v Speaker 4>not on the same page. So I go about my

0:42:10.000 --> 0:42:12.319
<v Speaker 4>day and then later on I'm in a shower where

0:42:12.320 --> 0:42:14.680
<v Speaker 4>I do my best thinking, and.

0:42:14.640 --> 0:42:17.160
<v Speaker 6>I play out my day in my mind, and then

0:42:17.280 --> 0:42:19.680
<v Speaker 6>something said, Mitch, did you pay attention.

0:42:22.520 --> 0:42:24.760
<v Speaker 2>Right? You're not paying.

0:42:24.560 --> 0:42:27.640
<v Speaker 6>Attention girl, So I hurry up. I'm like, oh my god,

0:42:27.800 --> 0:42:28.120
<v Speaker 6>I don't.

0:42:28.160 --> 0:42:29.640
<v Speaker 4>I don't think I saw what I think I saw,

0:42:29.680 --> 0:42:33.000
<v Speaker 4>and took my shower because I downloaded the document to

0:42:33.080 --> 0:42:35.080
<v Speaker 4>my phone, so when I got the shower, looked it up.

0:42:35.120 --> 0:42:38.400
<v Speaker 4>There's sure enough, I said. This man got divorced. His

0:42:38.520 --> 0:42:42.239
<v Speaker 4>divorce was final two months after we got married. But

0:42:42.280 --> 0:42:45.240
<v Speaker 4>the kicker and the killer for me was I've known

0:42:45.320 --> 0:42:49.439
<v Speaker 4>you all this time. I referred to her as your

0:42:49.520 --> 0:42:53.760
<v Speaker 4>ex wife when I talk to you about her or anyone,

0:42:53.800 --> 0:42:56.520
<v Speaker 4>and I mentioned, oh, your ex wife, your ex wife.

0:42:56.640 --> 0:42:59.040
<v Speaker 4>Not once did this man can direct me and say, well,

0:42:59.120 --> 0:43:02.680
<v Speaker 4>I'm still married. You allowed me because we didn't go

0:43:02.760 --> 0:43:04.120
<v Speaker 4>to the courthouse and get married.

0:43:04.160 --> 0:43:08.759
<v Speaker 6>We had a wedding at midnight on New Year's Eve

0:43:10.040 --> 0:43:13.160
<v Speaker 6>in winter, dressed in black.

0:43:13.600 --> 0:43:17.360
<v Speaker 4>The guests wore black gowns and tucks and you.

0:43:17.239 --> 0:43:19.680
<v Speaker 6>Know, came out at that house.

0:43:20.040 --> 0:43:24.759
<v Speaker 4>It was very for a very good party technically what

0:43:24.880 --> 0:43:27.040
<v Speaker 4>it turned out to be because you can't call it

0:43:27.120 --> 0:43:30.120
<v Speaker 4>a wedding reception because you can't be married to people

0:43:30.200 --> 0:43:34.280
<v Speaker 4>at the same time. Well in some states you can't

0:43:34.280 --> 0:43:39.520
<v Speaker 4>be right and yeah, it was like you know how

0:43:39.560 --> 0:43:42.680
<v Speaker 4>it's and we as women. When I found out, my

0:43:42.880 --> 0:43:48.359
<v Speaker 4>first thought was embarrassment, like you feel like, how did

0:43:48.400 --> 0:43:52.920
<v Speaker 4>I let this nigga do this to me again? Like

0:43:53.160 --> 0:43:57.120
<v Speaker 4>I gave you the chance to do this to me again.

0:43:57.400 --> 0:44:01.160
<v Speaker 4>So basically I didn't learn anything the first go around.

0:44:01.840 --> 0:44:04.839
<v Speaker 4>So I self isolated, Like I stopped hanging out with

0:44:04.880 --> 0:44:07.560
<v Speaker 4>my friends. I stopped going anywhere. I would, you know,

0:44:07.640 --> 0:44:09.319
<v Speaker 4>every now and then I would have people at my house.

0:44:09.360 --> 0:44:12.040
<v Speaker 4>I had brunching. All that was my friends. I stopped

0:44:12.120 --> 0:44:14.919
<v Speaker 4>doing all that. They would check on me, and then you.

0:44:14.800 --> 0:44:16.560
<v Speaker 6>Know, you're like, oh, I'm a good girl. How you

0:44:16.640 --> 0:44:17.440
<v Speaker 6>doing when you're not?

0:44:18.080 --> 0:44:21.719
<v Speaker 4>I fell into this depression and my therapist was like,

0:44:21.800 --> 0:44:23.719
<v Speaker 4>you need to get that out and get out your

0:44:23.840 --> 0:44:27.200
<v Speaker 4>mind and get it on paper. And one day I said,

0:44:27.200 --> 0:44:29.920
<v Speaker 4>you know, I'm gonna write a book. And funny thing

0:44:30.000 --> 0:44:31.840
<v Speaker 4>is I was talking to one of his sisters and

0:44:32.120 --> 0:44:34.120
<v Speaker 4>I said, I should profit off my pain. I can't

0:44:34.120 --> 0:44:36.920
<v Speaker 4>believe he put me through orders. And she said, you should,

0:44:37.400 --> 0:44:39.279
<v Speaker 4>You should write a booking profit.

0:44:39.000 --> 0:44:39.360
<v Speaker 6>Off of it.

0:44:39.360 --> 0:44:41.760
<v Speaker 4>And I said, you know, one girl, I am thanks

0:44:41.800 --> 0:44:45.080
<v Speaker 4>for the encouragement. It was just your brother, but thanks

0:44:45.080 --> 0:44:50.680
<v Speaker 4>for that. And I wrote my book in thirty days

0:44:51.080 --> 0:44:53.360
<v Speaker 4>off of pure emotion.

0:44:55.440 --> 0:44:58.120
<v Speaker 3>And you said, that's who you're married to still right now?

0:44:59.440 --> 0:45:02.080
<v Speaker 3>Are y'all like actively together in.

0:45:02.040 --> 0:45:05.960
<v Speaker 6>The same house? So there are right.

0:45:05.840 --> 0:45:12.000
<v Speaker 2>Now at works and.

0:45:12.719 --> 0:45:18.719
<v Speaker 4>So the same house. But so y'all amicable or what

0:45:18.800 --> 0:45:19.040
<v Speaker 4>is it?

0:45:19.120 --> 0:45:19.200
<v Speaker 2>Like?

0:45:19.960 --> 0:45:22.799
<v Speaker 4>He has you know, he's moved into the guest room,

0:45:22.840 --> 0:45:24.879
<v Speaker 4>although that's not where he wants to be, but that's

0:45:24.920 --> 0:45:28.800
<v Speaker 4>where he's he is permanently. The house is on the market,

0:45:28.920 --> 0:45:31.000
<v Speaker 4>so I'm trying to sell, you know, sell the house

0:45:31.080 --> 0:45:34.759
<v Speaker 4>so I can move back to the South. I'm going

0:45:34.840 --> 0:45:38.759
<v Speaker 4>to be a first time glamy. My daughter's pregnant, so

0:45:39.640 --> 0:45:43.480
<v Speaker 4>thank you and to me, it's like the rainbow at

0:45:43.480 --> 0:45:46.640
<v Speaker 4>the end of a storm. It's a chance of a

0:45:46.680 --> 0:45:49.799
<v Speaker 4>new life starting over. Of course I didn't want to

0:45:49.840 --> 0:45:52.760
<v Speaker 4>do it at this age, but things happen for a reason,

0:45:52.960 --> 0:45:55.960
<v Speaker 4>and I believe that maybe God put all this on

0:45:56.040 --> 0:45:59.520
<v Speaker 4>me to deliver a message to other women that there

0:45:59.560 --> 0:46:02.839
<v Speaker 4>is no shame and loving the wrong person. It's not

0:46:02.960 --> 0:46:06.600
<v Speaker 4>your fault. You love who you love and they love

0:46:06.760 --> 0:46:09.640
<v Speaker 4>how they love. And if they don't love you properly,

0:46:10.520 --> 0:46:13.520
<v Speaker 4>you have to whether that's storm and get through it

0:46:13.680 --> 0:46:17.000
<v Speaker 4>and heal from it, learn from it, and at the

0:46:17.080 --> 0:46:19.680
<v Speaker 4>end of that storm, it's going to be a beautiful rainbow.

0:46:19.800 --> 0:46:22.360
<v Speaker 4>You can start over and find love again. And I

0:46:22.480 --> 0:46:23.440
<v Speaker 4>think when you get to a.

0:46:23.400 --> 0:46:26.319
<v Speaker 6>Particular age, You're like, man, because that's how I feel.

0:46:26.360 --> 0:46:28.839
<v Speaker 4>I'm like, I don't want to be in my fifties

0:46:29.040 --> 0:46:34.879
<v Speaker 4>dating not like the options. And I'm not gonna say,

0:46:35.320 --> 0:46:39.000
<v Speaker 4>you know, there's pe in the dating pool. It's a

0:46:39.000 --> 0:46:42.680
<v Speaker 4>little cloudy, it's a little unsavory.

0:46:42.719 --> 0:46:44.000
<v Speaker 6>You don't because I.

0:46:44.040 --> 0:46:46.319
<v Speaker 4>Know how it was when I was dating before I

0:46:46.360 --> 0:46:49.520
<v Speaker 4>got married, and to go back to that, it's a

0:46:49.560 --> 0:46:52.520
<v Speaker 4>little But I'd rather be by myself and have peace

0:46:53.880 --> 0:46:57.719
<v Speaker 4>than dating these men that find you in peace and

0:46:57.840 --> 0:46:58.520
<v Speaker 4>leave you in.

0:46:58.600 --> 0:47:00.480
<v Speaker 2>Pieces about it.

0:47:00.520 --> 0:47:03.720
<v Speaker 3>Okay, yeah, because they swear all they want is peace

0:47:03.760 --> 0:47:04.279
<v Speaker 3>from a woman.

0:47:04.320 --> 0:47:06.320
<v Speaker 2>But these niggas is not peaceful.

0:47:06.360 --> 0:47:09.400
<v Speaker 4>Right, And that's the thing you want what you're not giving.

0:47:10.480 --> 0:47:14.120
<v Speaker 4>And I felt like that was the relationship. Oh he

0:47:14.239 --> 0:47:18.080
<v Speaker 4>wanted all these things, but you're not giving the basics,

0:47:18.120 --> 0:47:27.960
<v Speaker 4>which is trust, loyalty, integrity and yeah and yes, because

0:47:27.960 --> 0:47:31.480
<v Speaker 4>how can you just get married to someone but then

0:47:31.520 --> 0:47:38.239
<v Speaker 4>you're out here with whomover that you're meeting wherever, doing whatever,

0:47:39.080 --> 0:47:41.799
<v Speaker 4>and then you come home to your wife, you kiss

0:47:41.840 --> 0:47:44.480
<v Speaker 4>them all in the mouth and you hug on kids.

0:47:44.719 --> 0:47:46.560
<v Speaker 2>Yeah kids, Yeah, Like.

0:47:46.560 --> 0:47:50.160
<v Speaker 4>I should wash your mouth out with bleach at this point,

0:47:50.280 --> 0:47:51.000
<v Speaker 4>you're nasty.

0:47:52.600 --> 0:47:53.600
<v Speaker 5>Would marry again?

0:47:53.880 --> 0:47:59.200
<v Speaker 4>I would, but I am definitely more cautious, and I

0:47:59.239 --> 0:48:02.000
<v Speaker 4>think that there were some red flegs that I didn't

0:48:02.040 --> 0:48:06.799
<v Speaker 4>pay attention to. But I will definitely because sometimes we

0:48:06.840 --> 0:48:09.279
<v Speaker 4>get in our own way, and what may be a

0:48:09.320 --> 0:48:12.360
<v Speaker 4>red flag may not really be a red flag. Like

0:48:12.440 --> 0:48:15.560
<v Speaker 4>I would, I would go on a date.

0:48:16.200 --> 0:48:20.399
<v Speaker 6>And if I didn't like his shoes, I wasn't. They

0:48:20.400 --> 0:48:21.400
<v Speaker 6>didn't get.

0:48:23.200 --> 0:48:25.879
<v Speaker 2>You know how you I don't like how this nigga chew.

0:48:26.080 --> 0:48:26.720
<v Speaker 2>I'm out.

0:48:31.520 --> 0:48:33.120
<v Speaker 5>Why he got his T shirt took me.

0:48:33.200 --> 0:48:35.480
<v Speaker 2>I think I'm starting to be like that shirt.

0:48:35.840 --> 0:48:39.000
<v Speaker 3>I think I'm starting to be like that. Like normally

0:48:39.040 --> 0:48:41.319
<v Speaker 3>I'll be staying. I'll stay in a relationship so damn

0:48:41.320 --> 0:48:44.319
<v Speaker 3>long for no reason. Now I be getting out soon

0:48:44.360 --> 0:48:45.360
<v Speaker 3>and earlier because.

0:48:45.120 --> 0:48:47.040
<v Speaker 6>You don't have the older you get. You don't have

0:48:47.160 --> 0:48:47.920
<v Speaker 6>that time to way.

0:48:47.960 --> 0:48:51.440
<v Speaker 4>I don't have that time to keep wasting, you know,

0:48:51.640 --> 0:48:55.240
<v Speaker 4>trying to overlook things. And then you have to convince

0:48:55.560 --> 0:48:59.040
<v Speaker 4>convince yourself, like, okay, is this that bad?

0:48:59.200 --> 0:49:02.000
<v Speaker 6>Can I put a with that? Can I deal with that?

0:49:02.360 --> 0:49:05.800
<v Speaker 4>Like you're adjusting your once and needs for someone else,

0:49:05.840 --> 0:49:09.279
<v Speaker 4>and ultimately, five years from now, the same things that

0:49:09.360 --> 0:49:12.240
<v Speaker 4>you overlooked that were okay.

0:49:12.239 --> 0:49:14.400
<v Speaker 6>Are now getting on your goddamn nuds.

0:49:14.440 --> 0:49:16.839
<v Speaker 1>So saying that, speaking of that, let me ask you this.

0:49:16.880 --> 0:49:19.959
<v Speaker 1>So he was legally married to someone else and didn't

0:49:19.960 --> 0:49:22.120
<v Speaker 1>get a vorced till two months after you were married.

0:49:22.480 --> 0:49:24.680
<v Speaker 5>But were you happy outside of that?

0:49:25.120 --> 0:49:27.400
<v Speaker 6>No, because here's the truth.

0:49:27.440 --> 0:49:30.040
<v Speaker 4>If I was happy outside of that, we could have

0:49:30.120 --> 0:49:33.200
<v Speaker 4>worked through that. I would have told him, Okay, let's

0:49:33.239 --> 0:49:36.040
<v Speaker 4>just get a little secret ceremony and get.

0:49:35.800 --> 0:49:38.000
<v Speaker 6>Married and no one will know but us.

0:49:38.480 --> 0:49:41.399
<v Speaker 4>But when I looked at everything that I went through

0:49:41.440 --> 0:49:46.640
<v Speaker 4>in the just the year from January of twenty twenty two,

0:49:47.040 --> 0:49:50.239
<v Speaker 4>So when I found out, I'm like, look at all

0:49:50.280 --> 0:49:52.319
<v Speaker 4>this shit you you did.

0:49:53.160 --> 0:49:56.720
<v Speaker 2>So this is like new, y'all, this is new new.

0:49:56.960 --> 0:50:03.000
<v Speaker 4>Got married last year year January, took him on a

0:50:03.080 --> 0:50:08.040
<v Speaker 4>trip for his birthday in April, came back from the trip,

0:50:09.200 --> 0:50:12.080
<v Speaker 4>I'm like, you know how we had those intuitions.

0:50:12.120 --> 0:50:15.200
<v Speaker 6>Something's wrong, something's not right. Look at his phone.

0:50:15.360 --> 0:50:19.000
<v Speaker 4>He's all chee chatting with some two women, and I'm like,

0:50:19.760 --> 0:50:24.319
<v Speaker 4>this is this isn't an appropriate conversation. And then you

0:50:24.480 --> 0:50:27.000
<v Speaker 4>know it's not appropriate when you only talk to them

0:50:27.000 --> 0:50:27.879
<v Speaker 4>when you're not home.

0:50:28.600 --> 0:50:30.239
<v Speaker 6>If they call you in your home, you.

0:50:30.160 --> 0:50:33.319
<v Speaker 4>Don't answer, Like, these are all signs to me that

0:50:33.560 --> 0:50:35.080
<v Speaker 4>something's just not right here.

0:50:35.360 --> 0:50:37.799
<v Speaker 6>But then you're being told, oh, they're just friends, they're

0:50:37.840 --> 0:50:38.320
<v Speaker 6>just friends.

0:50:38.400 --> 0:50:40.239
<v Speaker 4>No, I know who just a friend is, and I

0:50:40.360 --> 0:50:42.759
<v Speaker 4>know how just friends talk to each other, and this

0:50:42.800 --> 0:50:43.279
<v Speaker 4>ain't it.

0:50:43.680 --> 0:50:45.400
<v Speaker 6>And one lady lives in Charlotte.

0:50:45.920 --> 0:50:48.600
<v Speaker 11>Oh shit, And I texted her. I said this, so

0:50:48.680 --> 0:50:52.359
<v Speaker 11>I'm about to see you, but alimation of affection. If

0:50:52.400 --> 0:50:55.799
<v Speaker 11>I see your number, you can do that. Yeah, and

0:50:55.880 --> 0:50:59.160
<v Speaker 11>you know, as long as one person lives there. I

0:50:59.200 --> 0:51:01.520
<v Speaker 11>didn't have to live there, neither day he, but she did.

0:51:01.600 --> 0:51:03.839
<v Speaker 11>She was like, well you you and your husband lose

0:51:03.880 --> 0:51:07.120
<v Speaker 11>my number. Oh yeah, I'll lose your number. You better

0:51:07.160 --> 0:51:08.160
<v Speaker 11>than Bess my bet?

0:51:09.760 --> 0:51:10.160
<v Speaker 6>I bet.

0:51:15.200 --> 0:51:15.480
<v Speaker 5>Sorry.

0:51:15.600 --> 0:51:18.920
<v Speaker 1>Let me ask you this before you married him, was

0:51:18.960 --> 0:51:23.160
<v Speaker 1>it ever any inkland like, oh, maybe I shouldn't do this,

0:51:23.320 --> 0:51:27.520
<v Speaker 1>Maybe he's not the one, Maybe I'm making a mistake again,

0:51:27.600 --> 0:51:29.440
<v Speaker 1>Like did you feel any of that before you say

0:51:30.000 --> 0:51:30.319
<v Speaker 1>it was?

0:51:30.400 --> 0:51:33.680
<v Speaker 4>Fifty to fifty half of me was like, you sure

0:51:33.719 --> 0:51:36.480
<v Speaker 4>you want to do this? Maybe this isn't the person

0:51:36.600 --> 0:51:39.680
<v Speaker 4>you're supposed to marry. But then the other half of

0:51:39.719 --> 0:51:42.640
<v Speaker 4>me said, well, why would God put y'all back together

0:51:43.760 --> 0:51:46.480
<v Speaker 4>if you're not supposed to be with this person? So

0:51:46.520 --> 0:51:48.759
<v Speaker 4>it was like half and half and like who do

0:51:48.880 --> 0:51:52.920
<v Speaker 4>you listen to? Who's stronger, who has more of a word?

0:51:53.480 --> 0:51:56.040
<v Speaker 4>And then I had I realized after the fact, like

0:51:56.120 --> 0:51:58.960
<v Speaker 4>you know, was that even God that put us back together?

0:51:59.080 --> 0:52:01.680
<v Speaker 4>It could have been some thing or someone else. And

0:52:01.760 --> 0:52:05.400
<v Speaker 4>you want to believe, oh, we're destined to be together.

0:52:05.480 --> 0:52:10.160
<v Speaker 4>God brought us back together. No that the Lord probably

0:52:10.280 --> 0:52:13.880
<v Speaker 4>was saying, girl, don't do it. But you're you're taking

0:52:13.960 --> 0:52:16.399
<v Speaker 4>messages and your turn.

0:52:16.640 --> 0:52:18.720
<v Speaker 6>You want them to believe Yeah I did.

0:52:18.560 --> 0:52:21.799
<v Speaker 2>That, Yeah you did that.

0:52:22.000 --> 0:52:24.399
<v Speaker 6>He said all the right things, and I was like.

0:52:24.480 --> 0:52:26.800
<v Speaker 2>Okay, maybe he did not ratting.

0:52:27.600 --> 0:52:30.799
<v Speaker 4>And you want to give people the benefit of the doll.

0:52:30.880 --> 0:52:32.640
<v Speaker 4>You want to give them a second chance. And I

0:52:32.800 --> 0:52:35.760
<v Speaker 4>wanted to believe that. You know that's certain age you want.

0:52:35.760 --> 0:52:38.720
<v Speaker 6>Better for your life. You don't want to keep doing.

0:52:38.640 --> 0:52:42.920
<v Speaker 4>The same old dumb shit year after year after year.

0:52:43.040 --> 0:52:46.080
<v Speaker 4>And you look back, you're in your sixties, you're by yourself.

0:52:46.680 --> 0:52:49.279
<v Speaker 4>No one comes to visit you, no one call you.

0:52:49.480 --> 0:52:51.759
<v Speaker 4>Your kids can't stand you because you're a piece of ship.

0:52:51.920 --> 0:52:54.400
<v Speaker 4>Like at some point in time, do what When do

0:52:54.560 --> 0:52:55.960
<v Speaker 4>you want better for your life?

0:52:57.440 --> 0:53:00.279
<v Speaker 6>I guess never. When they're like in this stuff needs

0:53:00.280 --> 0:53:02.200
<v Speaker 6>in a wheelchair. I need somebody to wipe their ass,

0:53:02.560 --> 0:53:03.279
<v Speaker 6>but it won't be me.

0:53:04.400 --> 0:53:06.880
<v Speaker 4>Has anybody reached out to you about being in a book? Like?

0:53:06.920 --> 0:53:09.279
<v Speaker 2>Why are you put living right now?

0:53:11.480 --> 0:53:13.600
<v Speaker 5>That's why I want to know the show?

0:53:13.680 --> 0:53:18.520
<v Speaker 2>Why he at work? That nigga like you trolling me

0:53:18.600 --> 0:53:20.960
<v Speaker 2>in real life? Like I'm sick of your ass already,

0:53:21.040 --> 0:53:22.400
<v Speaker 2>but you better.

0:53:22.280 --> 0:53:24.520
<v Speaker 3>Make sure I pickwork right from when y'all get that

0:53:24.600 --> 0:53:26.960
<v Speaker 3>divorce he for to get some money off that book.

0:53:27.200 --> 0:53:29.120
<v Speaker 6>Oh he will not already, asks an attorney.

0:53:29.200 --> 0:53:32.080
<v Speaker 4>I say, said, you know, if y'all live separate and

0:53:32.160 --> 0:53:35.759
<v Speaker 4>y'all are living as separated, he can't get anything from

0:53:35.840 --> 0:53:40.480
<v Speaker 4>the point of when y'all alienated each other. So I'm like, okay,

0:53:41.160 --> 0:53:44.520
<v Speaker 4>you staying your living quarters and I'll stay in mind.

0:53:44.560 --> 0:53:47.040
<v Speaker 6>Don't try to tiptoe over here. They won't be none

0:53:47.080 --> 0:53:47.200
<v Speaker 6>of that.

0:53:48.880 --> 0:53:51.720
<v Speaker 4>You live a sneak and get a little counting.

0:53:51.400 --> 0:53:55.360
<v Speaker 6>Out because I don't know where that's I don't know

0:53:55.440 --> 0:53:57.680
<v Speaker 6>where that's been, so I don't want it.

0:53:58.239 --> 0:54:02.359
<v Speaker 4>When you get the community service and you're delivering, Dick,

0:54:02.640 --> 0:54:03.600
<v Speaker 4>I don't want none of it.

0:54:04.840 --> 0:54:07.160
<v Speaker 3>Ac if you won a part time job, he got

0:54:07.640 --> 0:54:16.000
<v Speaker 3>what and we talked back uber meets that's our company

0:54:18.400 --> 0:54:21.799
<v Speaker 3>act that like, obviously he got bombshit, right because y'all

0:54:21.840 --> 0:54:24.160
<v Speaker 3>were dating and he was married at that time too.

0:54:24.200 --> 0:54:27.239
<v Speaker 3>If it was a whole eight year marriage, right or

0:54:27.280 --> 0:54:30.040
<v Speaker 3>however long it was, you said he was gone for eight.

0:54:30.040 --> 0:54:31.600
<v Speaker 2>Years and then came back into your life.

0:54:32.080 --> 0:54:35.480
<v Speaker 4>We were together. I've known him for eight years, okay, total,

0:54:35.960 --> 0:54:38.080
<v Speaker 4>he married. He stayed married to her for so long,

0:54:38.160 --> 0:54:39.520
<v Speaker 4>and she gets half his pension.

0:54:39.800 --> 0:54:40.799
<v Speaker 2>Girls, shut up.

0:54:41.239 --> 0:54:44.080
<v Speaker 4>Kept her on his because he's retired from the military,

0:54:44.239 --> 0:54:46.279
<v Speaker 4>so he kept her on his benefits.

0:54:48.680 --> 0:54:51.839
<v Speaker 6>Yeah, found out he later he was paying her cell

0:54:51.920 --> 0:54:54.400
<v Speaker 6>phone bill. But try to say he forgot she was

0:54:54.480 --> 0:54:55.480
<v Speaker 6>on his plane.

0:54:56.120 --> 0:54:58.880
<v Speaker 4>All this nonsense, and now she gets half of his.

0:54:59.360 --> 0:55:01.719
<v Speaker 4>And I think how she worked it. I mean, she

0:55:02.000 --> 0:55:03.120
<v Speaker 4>she's a smart lady.

0:55:04.480 --> 0:55:07.920
<v Speaker 6>She was selling her house, which he never lived in

0:55:08.719 --> 0:55:09.719
<v Speaker 6>but helped her buy.

0:55:11.040 --> 0:55:14.720
<v Speaker 4>And I guess the deal was, I'm gonna sell my house,

0:55:15.080 --> 0:55:18.080
<v Speaker 4>I'm not giving you anything from it, and I'll go

0:55:18.160 --> 0:55:21.840
<v Speaker 4>ahead and get your divorce because I know you're getting married. Wow.

0:55:22.800 --> 0:55:26.280
<v Speaker 4>And then here come paperwork. She wants half your pension.

0:55:26.360 --> 0:55:28.759
<v Speaker 4>So she sold her house, kept that profit and she's

0:55:28.800 --> 0:55:29.880
<v Speaker 4>getting half your pension.

0:55:31.160 --> 0:55:34.440
<v Speaker 2>Okay, how long ago were they actively like together?

0:55:35.520 --> 0:55:36.680
<v Speaker 6>Oh it's been years.

0:55:37.800 --> 0:55:40.760
<v Speaker 4>He's never went to like because she lives in Texas,

0:55:40.800 --> 0:55:44.440
<v Speaker 4>so he's never like went to visit her. He never

0:55:44.600 --> 0:55:46.920
<v Speaker 4>disappeared and was gone off to Texas.

0:55:46.560 --> 0:55:49.320
<v Speaker 6>Somewhere and I'm like, what are you doing there? It

0:55:49.520 --> 0:55:52.600
<v Speaker 6>was I don't even think she really could stand him.

0:55:53.160 --> 0:55:54.040
<v Speaker 6>She never called.

0:55:54.080 --> 0:55:57.000
<v Speaker 4>It was never a situation of she called late at

0:55:57.080 --> 0:55:59.239
<v Speaker 4>night and they're talking and I see her number every

0:55:59.320 --> 0:56:03.560
<v Speaker 4>now and then. No, they rarely talked because their kids

0:56:03.600 --> 0:56:07.120
<v Speaker 4>were grown and their late mid to late twenties, so

0:56:07.239 --> 0:56:10.040
<v Speaker 4>they she was never they.

0:56:10.000 --> 0:56:12.640
<v Speaker 3>Just never got a divorce basically, because a lot of

0:56:12.680 --> 0:56:15.600
<v Speaker 3>black people live like that. Like my mom didn't divorce

0:56:15.680 --> 0:56:18.760
<v Speaker 3>my dad until maybe the month before she married my stepdad.

0:56:19.640 --> 0:56:22.360
<v Speaker 4>Yeah, and she was, look, I got to divorce you

0:56:22.640 --> 0:56:24.319
<v Speaker 4>because I'm marrying somebody else.

0:56:25.120 --> 0:56:27.000
<v Speaker 2>But he should have done it.

0:56:27.280 --> 0:56:30.840
<v Speaker 3>Did it overlapped, basically, and then he didn't initiate the

0:56:30.920 --> 0:56:33.760
<v Speaker 3>divorce with her, which.

0:56:33.640 --> 0:56:36.279
<v Speaker 6>If you wanted it that bad, you could have. You

0:56:36.400 --> 0:56:39.360
<v Speaker 6>had time to do it. She filed for the divorce.

0:56:39.880 --> 0:56:42.840
<v Speaker 4>So if she if she's never filed for the divorce,

0:56:43.400 --> 0:56:45.920
<v Speaker 4>I'm even once during although we got married, if she

0:56:46.080 --> 0:56:47.200
<v Speaker 4>never filed for the divorce.

0:56:47.280 --> 0:56:50.080
<v Speaker 6>Where he what he even had said anything?

0:56:50.560 --> 0:56:53.200
<v Speaker 4>Because we were engaged before when we lived in Charlotte,

0:56:53.200 --> 0:56:56.240
<v Speaker 4>we were engaged two times and then for cheating.

0:56:56.360 --> 0:56:58.880
<v Speaker 6>I was like, no, I'm not marrying. You were not left.

0:56:58.960 --> 0:57:01.120
<v Speaker 4>So for you to come back and like, let's get married,

0:57:01.160 --> 0:57:02.880
<v Speaker 4>I would think, calm and since we'll tell you you

0:57:02.920 --> 0:57:05.520
<v Speaker 4>should have taken care of that situation when you had

0:57:05.600 --> 0:57:10.759
<v Speaker 4>the chance. The first couple of times engage, you was

0:57:10.880 --> 0:57:11.520
<v Speaker 4>engaged to that.

0:57:11.640 --> 0:57:12.480
<v Speaker 2>Man more than once.

0:57:12.760 --> 0:57:13.400
<v Speaker 4>Three times?

0:57:13.440 --> 0:57:16.000
<v Speaker 2>You was engaged to him? Oh three times?

0:57:16.280 --> 0:57:18.919
<v Speaker 5>Chih Now I see, Now you got to take some accountability.

0:57:19.520 --> 0:57:27.040
<v Speaker 2>I did because I'm not, by said now cheated. I

0:57:27.320 --> 0:57:27.919
<v Speaker 2>left him.

0:57:28.480 --> 0:57:31.919
<v Speaker 6>I was doing my thing back home, having a good time,

0:57:32.760 --> 0:57:36.320
<v Speaker 6>running with my girls, my homeboys, meeting, dating, all that,

0:57:36.560 --> 0:57:39.480
<v Speaker 6>and then he came back and was like, I've changed.

0:57:39.760 --> 0:57:43.400
<v Speaker 6>I realized what I've lost. I was miserable without you.

0:57:43.960 --> 0:57:46.520
<v Speaker 4>Come to find out, he wasn't really that miserable because

0:57:46.520 --> 0:57:49.720
<v Speaker 4>he was out here dropping it low and spreadnant. Why

0:57:49.960 --> 0:57:50.960
<v Speaker 4>I knew why.

0:57:54.120 --> 0:57:56.080
<v Speaker 6>I've seen some of the things of the chicks, and

0:57:56.160 --> 0:58:00.400
<v Speaker 6>I'm like, even meet these people? I mean I I

0:58:00.520 --> 0:58:02.640
<v Speaker 6>figured out now how he met.

0:58:02.600 --> 0:58:05.960
<v Speaker 4>Them, because it was some people using fish or something

0:58:06.040 --> 0:58:06.200
<v Speaker 4>like that.

0:58:06.480 --> 0:58:08.560
<v Speaker 6>Worse than that back page.

0:58:10.120 --> 0:58:11.520
<v Speaker 5>They don't get no worse bag.

0:58:13.000 --> 0:58:15.440
<v Speaker 6>I don't even can can we legally even say the name?

0:58:15.560 --> 0:58:17.000
<v Speaker 4>I ain't trying to look, I ain't trying to get

0:58:17.080 --> 0:58:20.880
<v Speaker 4>sued now, Yes, s have y'all ever heard of school?

0:58:21.760 --> 0:58:24.520
<v Speaker 2>No that I'm jealous.

0:58:24.680 --> 0:58:28.560
<v Speaker 6>I wish y'all came up with that, Yeah, because they

0:58:28.560 --> 0:58:32.000
<v Speaker 6>ain't trust me. Baby the Jay.

0:58:32.080 --> 0:58:33.960
<v Speaker 5>Start score Crocodile.

0:58:35.280 --> 0:58:38.360
<v Speaker 6>For men, because this is just women.

0:58:38.480 --> 0:58:41.600
<v Speaker 4>So start that for for for women that's looking for

0:58:41.880 --> 0:58:45.600
<v Speaker 4>male company at night, you know, come over, do business

0:58:45.720 --> 0:58:46.800
<v Speaker 4>and going about your business.

0:58:47.240 --> 0:58:53.000
<v Speaker 6>Basically, that's what it is online Ladies of the night.

0:58:53.320 --> 0:58:56.000
<v Speaker 6>It's like ordering pizza. I guess you ordering pussy.

0:58:57.840 --> 0:59:00.760
<v Speaker 5>I don't mean same thing that's we're trying to create.

0:59:00.880 --> 0:59:03.800
<v Speaker 3>This is wild to me, so that that is scary,

0:59:03.840 --> 0:59:05.400
<v Speaker 3>you know what I'm saying, Because it's not like he's

0:59:05.480 --> 0:59:08.400
<v Speaker 3>having intimate relationships with people he's known for a long time,

0:59:08.560 --> 0:59:12.520
<v Speaker 3>like you, right, random random bitches off the internet.

0:59:12.920 --> 0:59:13.720
<v Speaker 6>Off the Internet.

0:59:16.800 --> 0:59:20.800
<v Speaker 4>Yes, and people after they read the book, they're like, well,

0:59:20.840 --> 0:59:22.280
<v Speaker 4>do you think he has a problem.

0:59:22.400 --> 0:59:24.479
<v Speaker 6>I don't. I don't know, I don't care.

0:59:24.640 --> 0:59:29.360
<v Speaker 2>I don't get the Does he think he has a problem. No, Yeah,

0:59:30.400 --> 0:59:32.680
<v Speaker 2>because he he knew he got a problem.

0:59:33.360 --> 0:59:39.200
<v Speaker 4>He's anytime alligator for pussy, you got a problem, You

0:59:39.280 --> 0:59:40.240
<v Speaker 4>got a problem, sir.

0:59:41.680 --> 0:59:43.760
<v Speaker 6>Anytime you have to spend money.

0:59:44.400 --> 0:59:46.560
<v Speaker 3>He got a lot of disposable income. Tell him we're

0:59:46.560 --> 0:59:47.480
<v Speaker 3>trying to open a studio.

0:59:47.920 --> 0:59:48.240
<v Speaker 2>Okay.

0:59:49.680 --> 0:59:53.000
<v Speaker 3>You know, because he's not only cheating like he paid

0:59:53.040 --> 0:59:55.200
<v Speaker 3>for pussy. That's a whole different level of cheating for me.

0:59:55.320 --> 0:59:58.440
<v Speaker 3>I might can't deal with the cheating if you ain't man.

0:59:57.840 --> 1:00:00.560
<v Speaker 1>Paying some type of way, but type of way that

1:00:00.640 --> 1:00:03.560
<v Speaker 1>I'd rather you take me out to dinner or on

1:00:03.720 --> 1:00:05.960
<v Speaker 1>a trip and you paid for it that way, but

1:00:06.160 --> 1:00:09.160
<v Speaker 1>just to order it for like fifty dollars and you know,

1:00:09.560 --> 1:00:10.800
<v Speaker 1>And and it's.

1:00:10.720 --> 1:00:16.520
<v Speaker 2>The quality of Acucci that is not quality, is not quality?

1:00:16.720 --> 1:00:19.200
<v Speaker 5>Okay, that definitely discount.

1:00:19.360 --> 1:00:21.880
<v Speaker 2>Yes, That's what I'm saying. I need that we like

1:00:22.040 --> 1:00:23.360
<v Speaker 2>is the race walk and hired.

1:00:24.920 --> 1:00:27.160
<v Speaker 4>Yeah, those girls are probably on drugs and all kind

1:00:27.160 --> 1:00:29.080
<v Speaker 4>of stuff. They don't have no self word. They look

1:00:29.200 --> 1:00:32.840
<v Speaker 4>like it because you know he's had he'll he's had

1:00:32.960 --> 1:00:35.600
<v Speaker 4>pictures in his phone, little video head there.

1:00:35.720 --> 1:00:37.640
<v Speaker 6>I guess, you know, if you're paying for what they

1:00:37.760 --> 1:00:40.920
<v Speaker 6>let you record them or whatever. And I'm like, when

1:00:41.000 --> 1:00:42.200
<v Speaker 6>did you meet these people?

1:00:42.920 --> 1:00:44.439
<v Speaker 2>Did you say a condom in the video?

1:00:46.160 --> 1:00:51.080
<v Speaker 6>No, it may have come, it may have surfaced later,

1:00:51.520 --> 1:00:56.800
<v Speaker 6>but at the at the point of these videos. Yeah,

1:00:56.920 --> 1:00:58.959
<v Speaker 6>she may have put it on with her mouth later,

1:00:59.400 --> 1:01:00.640
<v Speaker 6>but at that moments.

1:01:01.760 --> 1:01:01.800
<v Speaker 10>No.

1:01:02.960 --> 1:01:04.600
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, this is a bit much.

1:01:05.960 --> 1:01:09.200
<v Speaker 4>Imagine living living it and you finding these things as

1:01:09.280 --> 1:01:12.080
<v Speaker 4>you go, and it's like one thing after another after another,

1:01:12.280 --> 1:01:15.320
<v Speaker 4>and your life. It's a shock of it all for

1:01:15.480 --> 1:01:18.240
<v Speaker 4>me as well, Like I we bought a house, like

1:01:18.440 --> 1:01:21.120
<v Speaker 4>I thought we were gonna have this life, and come

1:01:21.200 --> 1:01:24.320
<v Speaker 4>to find out you are a fucking devil in disguise,

1:01:25.120 --> 1:01:26.760
<v Speaker 4>Like I feel hoodwinked.

1:01:27.840 --> 1:01:31.160
<v Speaker 6>You've bemboozled me for months.

1:01:32.200 --> 1:01:34.560
<v Speaker 4>And now that you know, I wrote a book and

1:01:34.680 --> 1:01:36.840
<v Speaker 4>people are finding out. Now you want to be the

1:01:36.920 --> 1:01:40.240
<v Speaker 4>embarrassed when you you're you're you're worried about how people.

1:01:40.080 --> 1:01:42.200
<v Speaker 6>Are gonna think about you, what they're gonna say, and

1:01:42.840 --> 1:01:45.800
<v Speaker 6>and and now you're concerned with your kids finding out.

1:01:45.960 --> 1:01:48.680
<v Speaker 4>But you weren't None of that was a concern when

1:01:48.720 --> 1:01:52.560
<v Speaker 4>you was out here, you know, fucking in your car

1:01:52.840 --> 1:01:54.560
<v Speaker 4>or going to some tricks house and.

1:01:56.040 --> 1:01:58.080
<v Speaker 2>None of that well whole house, cause he the trick.

1:02:01.640 --> 1:02:05.360
<v Speaker 3>So for me just being so for me, like being

1:02:05.400 --> 1:02:07.280
<v Speaker 3>able to just talk about my bullshit with people like

1:02:07.400 --> 1:02:11.680
<v Speaker 3>that is like how I get relief from stupid bit shit, right,

1:02:12.200 --> 1:02:15.720
<v Speaker 3>But like writing a book, like how was it for

1:02:15.840 --> 1:02:17.640
<v Speaker 3>you to have to relive these things?

1:02:18.360 --> 1:02:20.920
<v Speaker 2>Or you know, was it therapeutic to get it out?

1:02:22.320 --> 1:02:24.600
<v Speaker 4>I thought it would be therapeutic to get it out,

1:02:25.280 --> 1:02:28.280
<v Speaker 4>but when you sit because it actually started like I

1:02:28.360 --> 1:02:31.800
<v Speaker 4>started with my childhood because I was like maybe I

1:02:31.840 --> 1:02:35.600
<v Speaker 4>don't know if y'all know any West Indian, have any

1:02:35.640 --> 1:02:38.480
<v Speaker 4>West Indian friends, and you know their parents raised them

1:02:38.520 --> 1:02:44.000
<v Speaker 4>a little stern were raised a little different from Barados, right, yes, yes,

1:02:44.640 --> 1:02:49.480
<v Speaker 4>And I don't know if had being raised away and

1:02:49.680 --> 1:02:52.160
<v Speaker 4>bringing raised in the household I was raised, and if

1:02:52.200 --> 1:02:55.760
<v Speaker 4>that played a part in looking for the love that

1:02:55.880 --> 1:02:58.840
<v Speaker 4>you see on TV, Like, you know, he's not a

1:02:58.880 --> 1:03:02.320
<v Speaker 4>good example to use these days, but like the Cliff Huxtable,

1:03:02.960 --> 1:03:06.440
<v Speaker 4>you know, with Claire and their loving relationship and dancing

1:03:06.600 --> 1:03:09.680
<v Speaker 4>and listening to music, and you know, raising kids together.

1:03:09.880 --> 1:03:14.000
<v Speaker 4>You want that when you don't have it. And so

1:03:14.160 --> 1:03:17.960
<v Speaker 4>the book starts with that, like you know, childhood and

1:03:18.040 --> 1:03:20.280
<v Speaker 4>a little bit of dating in school, and then it

1:03:20.360 --> 1:03:21.200
<v Speaker 4>goes into.

1:03:21.560 --> 1:03:22.680
<v Speaker 6>The adult relationships.

1:03:22.720 --> 1:03:25.720
<v Speaker 4>So when you have to sit and think about things

1:03:25.760 --> 1:03:29.880
<v Speaker 4>that sometimes your brain wants you to forget, it can

1:03:29.920 --> 1:03:33.280
<v Speaker 4>get a little traumatic. And then at one point in time,

1:03:33.360 --> 1:03:35.000
<v Speaker 4>when I was writing it, when I got.

1:03:34.960 --> 1:03:37.920
<v Speaker 6>To this situation, I even said.

1:03:37.800 --> 1:03:40.720
<v Speaker 4>To myself, like, you were dumb and shit you put

1:03:40.840 --> 1:03:44.760
<v Speaker 4>up with you let that man do more than he

1:03:44.920 --> 1:03:49.480
<v Speaker 4>should have. You gave him entirely too much grace, and

1:03:49.600 --> 1:03:52.960
<v Speaker 4>you forgave entirely too much. And I even told him,

1:03:53.000 --> 1:03:55.960
<v Speaker 4>I said, I think I forgave you so much that

1:03:56.120 --> 1:03:58.320
<v Speaker 4>you just didn't know how to stop.

1:03:58.360 --> 1:04:00.640
<v Speaker 6>It's like a kid. You keep giving them candy, They're

1:04:00.640 --> 1:04:01.600
<v Speaker 6>gonna keep eating it.

1:04:01.680 --> 1:04:03.520
<v Speaker 2>That's why you gotta beat the ass the first time.

1:04:05.400 --> 1:04:05.600
<v Speaker 1>Yeah.

1:04:06.160 --> 1:04:09.080
<v Speaker 4>And I thought, I thought when I beat his ass

1:04:09.160 --> 1:04:13.480
<v Speaker 4>the first time and left him, that he learned.

1:04:13.240 --> 1:04:15.360
<v Speaker 5>His lessons, had learned his lesses.

1:04:15.840 --> 1:04:19.680
<v Speaker 4>I mean and and and actually literally like I put

1:04:20.160 --> 1:04:24.560
<v Speaker 4>fist the face with him one morning because I.

1:04:24.680 --> 1:04:26.600
<v Speaker 6>Rest some text between him and a coworker.

1:04:26.640 --> 1:04:29.440
<v Speaker 4>And one thing, if you're gonna cheat and talk to

1:04:29.560 --> 1:04:32.200
<v Speaker 4>chicks and even talk to chicks that work, that's one thing.

1:04:32.280 --> 1:04:36.400
<v Speaker 6>But when you talk bad about me now talking.

1:04:36.240 --> 1:04:37.160
<v Speaker 2>With the side bitches.

1:04:37.880 --> 1:04:41.000
<v Speaker 3>Yeah, okay, at what point do we hold at what

1:04:41.120 --> 1:04:43.360
<v Speaker 3>point do we hold other women accountable? Because I know

1:04:43.440 --> 1:04:45.680
<v Speaker 3>they know he was married, You know what I'm saying.

1:04:45.920 --> 1:04:48.760
<v Speaker 3>And then you like, if you know this nigga only

1:04:48.840 --> 1:04:50.920
<v Speaker 3>calling you. Remember we did the live show Tammy, right

1:04:51.160 --> 1:04:53.400
<v Speaker 3>and the girl in the front row and she was talking.

1:04:53.440 --> 1:04:56.080
<v Speaker 3>Now your homegirl looked this man up and found out

1:04:56.120 --> 1:04:56.720
<v Speaker 3>he was married?

1:04:56.960 --> 1:04:57.120
<v Speaker 2>Right?

1:04:58.080 --> 1:05:00.400
<v Speaker 3>What was going on both you and your homegirl mind

1:05:00.480 --> 1:05:02.520
<v Speaker 3>to even make y'all saw snooping about this man. It

1:05:02.600 --> 1:05:05.680
<v Speaker 3>had to have been something. He's calling you in the car,

1:05:06.160 --> 1:05:09.560
<v Speaker 3>you only talk to him certain hours. Women be fucking knowing.

1:05:09.880 --> 1:05:11.160
<v Speaker 3>And that's why I don't.

1:05:11.480 --> 1:05:13.360
<v Speaker 2>I don't. I don't have no empathy for you.

1:05:14.000 --> 1:05:16.120
<v Speaker 3>I don't have no empathy for women because women we know,

1:05:16.360 --> 1:05:19.919
<v Speaker 3>we know when a nigga fucked up, and you continue on. So, yeah,

1:05:20.000 --> 1:05:23.320
<v Speaker 3>you're never back to the house exactly. The home rerecord

1:05:23.440 --> 1:05:25.680
<v Speaker 3>is the motherfucker that's in the home. But bitch, you

1:05:25.800 --> 1:05:28.360
<v Speaker 3>have some accountability in this too, because you know that

1:05:28.520 --> 1:05:30.720
<v Speaker 3>man is married and in a relationship with somebody else.

1:05:30.800 --> 1:05:34.240
<v Speaker 3>But women always willing to compete, like they think that

1:05:34.480 --> 1:05:35.600
<v Speaker 3>their pussy is gold.

1:05:36.560 --> 1:05:38.800
<v Speaker 2>So yeah, it's just attached to somebody else, that's all.

1:05:39.320 --> 1:05:41.560
<v Speaker 6>And they want to listen to when they when the

1:05:41.640 --> 1:05:44.120
<v Speaker 6>man like, I'm not happy with her. She don't do this,

1:05:44.280 --> 1:05:44.480
<v Speaker 6>you know.

1:05:44.560 --> 1:05:46.080
<v Speaker 4>You know, back in the day, the thing was, well,

1:05:46.080 --> 1:05:51.400
<v Speaker 4>I'm staying for the kids. Your kids are thirty and forty.

1:05:52.400 --> 1:05:56.680
<v Speaker 2>You who are you stay? Who you stand for?

1:05:57.280 --> 1:05:58.600
<v Speaker 6>And then you have I have.

1:05:58.880 --> 1:06:02.040
<v Speaker 4>Friends that parents married forty years and now they're getting

1:06:02.080 --> 1:06:05.280
<v Speaker 4>a divorce because they looking at each other now and

1:06:05.360 --> 1:06:07.360
<v Speaker 4>they're like, I don't even like you and I don't

1:06:07.480 --> 1:06:10.760
<v Speaker 4>like you either, bit so now they're breaking up. They

1:06:10.840 --> 1:06:15.920
<v Speaker 4>separate in like, yeah, I just feel like some some

1:06:16.120 --> 1:06:20.280
<v Speaker 4>people they want to believe that they're better than you,

1:06:20.640 --> 1:06:23.080
<v Speaker 4>so they believe when he's telling you, I don't want

1:06:23.760 --> 1:06:25.880
<v Speaker 4>I'm not sexually That's what he told a girl, I'm

1:06:25.920 --> 1:06:27.640
<v Speaker 4>not sexually attracted to her.

1:06:28.040 --> 1:06:30.760
<v Speaker 2>You talking about your ex, I'm not fucking with you, because.

1:06:30.760 --> 1:06:33.040
<v Speaker 4>Yeah, the same thing to me, And she's all like,

1:06:33.120 --> 1:06:35.280
<v Speaker 4>I don't know how women let themselves go.

1:06:35.480 --> 1:06:38.240
<v Speaker 6>I don't let themselves go. Baby, have you seen me?

1:06:38.960 --> 1:06:42.840
<v Speaker 2>I know people be very clear, thank you.

1:06:43.200 --> 1:06:43.400
<v Speaker 6>Yeah.

1:06:43.600 --> 1:06:45.760
<v Speaker 4>If people ask me often like I don't know, fuck,

1:06:45.840 --> 1:06:46.680
<v Speaker 4>did he cheating on you?

1:06:46.920 --> 1:06:47.960
<v Speaker 2>Like I don't know right?

1:06:49.160 --> 1:06:49.320
<v Speaker 4>Why?

1:06:49.400 --> 1:06:49.560
<v Speaker 12>Yeah?

1:06:49.600 --> 1:06:51.360
<v Speaker 2>I don't never have anything to do with looks.

1:06:51.400 --> 1:06:53.600
<v Speaker 3>I got a friend of mine, like anytime she's into

1:06:53.600 --> 1:06:55.160
<v Speaker 3>some shit with a nigga, she always like.

1:06:56.880 --> 1:06:58.840
<v Speaker 2>Like, you should have seen this this she don't look

1:06:58.880 --> 1:06:59.320
<v Speaker 2>nothing like me.

1:06:59.400 --> 1:07:01.640
<v Speaker 3>But they don't have nothing to do it looks like

1:07:01.760 --> 1:07:04.080
<v Speaker 3>you're comparing looks and like you down to this other woman.

1:07:04.320 --> 1:07:07.400
<v Speaker 2>Really it's your nigga. You know what I'm saying to him,

1:07:07.800 --> 1:07:09.520
<v Speaker 2>you're comparing yourself to this other woman.

1:07:10.240 --> 1:07:14.520
<v Speaker 4>I feel like some people, not even just men or women,

1:07:14.840 --> 1:07:22.040
<v Speaker 4>some some people both. They they're so hard on themselves

1:07:23.040 --> 1:07:25.920
<v Speaker 4>there and they're the way they look in their bodies

1:07:26.040 --> 1:07:27.479
<v Speaker 4>and all that that they.

1:07:27.480 --> 1:07:31.560
<v Speaker 6>Can't believe that this person wants them.

1:07:32.360 --> 1:07:35.440
<v Speaker 4>So it's like they mess up on purpose just to

1:07:35.520 --> 1:07:38.360
<v Speaker 4>see maybe if this person really is gonna.

1:07:38.120 --> 1:07:40.640
<v Speaker 6>Stay, are they gonna leave? And if you leave them,

1:07:40.680 --> 1:07:42.320
<v Speaker 6>then it's like I knew you didn't.

1:07:42.080 --> 1:07:43.320
<v Speaker 2>Really love me self.

1:07:43.440 --> 1:07:47.840
<v Speaker 10>Sabotage, yes, and how I believe some people don't know

1:07:48.000 --> 1:07:52.360
<v Speaker 10>how to live outside of being toxic, like they have

1:07:52.600 --> 1:07:56.880
<v Speaker 10>to have it somewhere in their life or something's just

1:07:57.120 --> 1:07:57.560
<v Speaker 10>not right.

1:07:58.640 --> 1:08:01.600
<v Speaker 2>I agree. Yep. You talk about that, that six level

1:08:01.680 --> 1:08:02.720
<v Speaker 2>language toxicity.

1:08:05.080 --> 1:08:07.720
<v Speaker 4>They thrive in it, they want to stay in it.

1:08:08.200 --> 1:08:10.240
<v Speaker 4>They don't know how to get out of it when

1:08:10.280 --> 1:08:10.920
<v Speaker 4>you try to.

1:08:10.960 --> 1:08:13.360
<v Speaker 6>Help them get out of it. Now you're the problem.

1:08:15.120 --> 1:08:15.960
<v Speaker 2>Mmmm hmm.

1:08:16.840 --> 1:08:18.720
<v Speaker 6>I just want to get back to the South and

1:08:19.040 --> 1:08:19.439
<v Speaker 6>watch my.

1:08:19.520 --> 1:08:22.920
<v Speaker 4>Little my my grand baby grow and have my little

1:08:22.960 --> 1:08:27.720
<v Speaker 4>grand baby and have peace and date start dating again.

1:08:29.000 --> 1:08:29.560
<v Speaker 6>Cautiously.

1:08:31.240 --> 1:08:31.680
<v Speaker 2>That's right.

1:08:32.840 --> 1:08:32.960
<v Speaker 6>Now.

1:08:33.479 --> 1:08:37.000
<v Speaker 5>We have a segment called dump dumb Bitch Story.

1:08:37.240 --> 1:08:39.400
<v Speaker 1>Right, well, you're telling a story, but I don't know

1:08:39.479 --> 1:08:41.120
<v Speaker 1>if you even need to tell whatever this.

1:08:42.840 --> 1:08:46.360
<v Speaker 2>Episode you're so dumb, you are really dumb for.

1:08:48.439 --> 1:08:53.280
<v Speaker 3>The archives because yeah, yeah, tell us the time where

1:08:53.280 --> 1:08:54.519
<v Speaker 3>you're the dumbest bitch.

1:08:54.640 --> 1:08:56.000
<v Speaker 2>Like get a situation.

1:08:56.880 --> 1:08:58.560
<v Speaker 1>All right, hold on, we're gonna go to commercial, so

1:08:58.600 --> 1:08:59.920
<v Speaker 1>I'm gonna give you a chance to think about it.

1:09:00.040 --> 1:09:01.920
<v Speaker 4>We're gonna go to commercial, and you tell us when

1:09:01.920 --> 1:09:07.599
<v Speaker 4>we come back, dumb bitch story. So because we've all

1:09:07.680 --> 1:09:11.840
<v Speaker 4>been a dumb bitch at least once or twice. Okay,

1:09:12.000 --> 1:09:13.639
<v Speaker 4>So y'all can tell me if this is good enough

1:09:13.760 --> 1:09:16.120
<v Speaker 4>or not. So we moved into a house. We weren't

1:09:16.160 --> 1:09:19.320
<v Speaker 4>getting along, and one day, when he went to take

1:09:19.360 --> 1:09:22.400
<v Speaker 4>a shower because he worked at night, I unlocked. He

1:09:22.520 --> 1:09:26.240
<v Speaker 4>had two vehicles. I unlocked the one that he would

1:09:26.400 --> 1:09:29.120
<v Speaker 4>leave at home. You know how you have your run

1:09:29.200 --> 1:09:31.479
<v Speaker 4>around car and then you have your your going out car.

1:09:32.040 --> 1:09:34.400
<v Speaker 4>So he would take his little run around car to

1:09:34.520 --> 1:09:37.840
<v Speaker 4>work and leave his going out car. So he would,

1:09:37.960 --> 1:09:40.920
<v Speaker 4>but he kept his keys on. One night, I unlocked

1:09:40.960 --> 1:09:43.719
<v Speaker 4>the doors while he was in a shower, put the keyback,

1:09:43.840 --> 1:09:45.800
<v Speaker 4>waiting until he left, and went through his car and

1:09:45.880 --> 1:09:49.400
<v Speaker 4>found a condo, and I sent him a picture of

1:09:49.520 --> 1:09:54.120
<v Speaker 4>and was like, you, you know, had running around here,

1:09:54.280 --> 1:09:56.840
<v Speaker 4>you got doing whatever. Why would you need a corner?

1:09:56.920 --> 1:09:57.760
<v Speaker 6>We don't use them.

1:09:58.280 --> 1:10:01.000
<v Speaker 4>And he gonna tell me, whenever you found in my

1:10:01.160 --> 1:10:04.680
<v Speaker 4>car you put there, that was the first thing. And

1:10:04.840 --> 1:10:07.439
<v Speaker 4>then tried to tell me, well, I bought it on

1:10:07.520 --> 1:10:10.840
<v Speaker 4>purpose so that you could see it. And then I

1:10:11.040 --> 1:10:12.760
<v Speaker 4>was like, so you bought one content So they said

1:10:12.840 --> 1:10:15.719
<v Speaker 4>one one condom, Yeah, I bought one.

1:10:15.920 --> 1:10:22.600
<v Speaker 12>I said, that ain't a lucy, it ain't a loose cigarettette.

1:10:23.840 --> 1:10:27.559
<v Speaker 12>I said okay, and stayed with him even after finding

1:10:27.640 --> 1:10:28.639
<v Speaker 12>a condom in his car.

1:10:29.600 --> 1:10:29.760
<v Speaker 2>MM.

1:10:31.680 --> 1:10:34.920
<v Speaker 4>Yeah, it wasn't long after that though that I did

1:10:35.120 --> 1:10:38.600
<v Speaker 4>leave him, But I stayed even at the finding that, Like,

1:10:38.680 --> 1:10:41.240
<v Speaker 4>I've never found a chick in his house or anything

1:10:41.400 --> 1:10:43.320
<v Speaker 4>like that, because at some point in time we did

1:10:43.479 --> 1:10:46.240
<v Speaker 4>live separately A couple of times. Never went over there

1:10:46.240 --> 1:10:48.200
<v Speaker 4>and there was a chick over there. But yep, found

1:10:48.200 --> 1:10:51.800
<v Speaker 4>a condom, a one condom. The first time I found

1:10:51.800 --> 1:10:54.479
<v Speaker 4>out he cheated on me, he came home from going

1:10:54.520 --> 1:10:55.320
<v Speaker 4>out of town.

1:10:55.479 --> 1:10:59.519
<v Speaker 6>With the box, came back and I said what and

1:10:59.600 --> 1:11:03.320
<v Speaker 6>then try to tell me I'm holding him for a friend. Nigga,

1:11:04.000 --> 1:11:09.680
<v Speaker 6>that's always a liar. Yeah, but how do you hold condom? O?

1:11:09.880 --> 1:11:10.439
<v Speaker 2>My god?

1:11:11.080 --> 1:11:13.400
<v Speaker 4>Six forty seven? I said, So, what friend is more

1:11:13.479 --> 1:11:17.559
<v Speaker 4>important to you than your relationship? Because there's one missing

1:11:18.320 --> 1:11:23.880
<v Speaker 4>the con machine? Well least he's using them. And why

1:11:23.920 --> 1:11:25.560
<v Speaker 4>do you need to hold it for him? Why he

1:11:25.600 --> 1:11:26.160
<v Speaker 4>can't hold his.

1:11:28.080 --> 1:11:29.040
<v Speaker 6>You need to hold its?

1:11:29.120 --> 1:11:31.280
<v Speaker 4>Why that excuse even came out to your mouth? Like

1:11:31.360 --> 1:11:33.599
<v Speaker 4>do you know how dumb you sound right now? You're

1:11:33.640 --> 1:11:36.920
<v Speaker 4>holding condoms for a friend, but you have a girlfriend, right,

1:11:40.080 --> 1:11:43.080
<v Speaker 4>So yeah, those were both they They're probably more, but

1:11:43.200 --> 1:11:45.920
<v Speaker 4>those were fund The Connors part is real dumb and shit.

1:11:45.800 --> 1:11:46.960
<v Speaker 6>Like girl shame.

1:11:47.800 --> 1:11:49.400
<v Speaker 2>This was not that long ago. This might have been

1:11:49.439 --> 1:11:50.400
<v Speaker 2>earlier this year. Child.

1:11:50.760 --> 1:11:52.519
<v Speaker 3>The guy who I was eating came home and we

1:11:52.840 --> 1:11:54.200
<v Speaker 3>I was at his house and we were about to

1:11:54.240 --> 1:11:57.280
<v Speaker 3>go out to eat, but he had like not unpacked

1:11:57.360 --> 1:12:00.479
<v Speaker 3>his bag from being out, big dumb box for condoms

1:12:00.520 --> 1:12:01.479
<v Speaker 3>in that suitcase.

1:12:02.520 --> 1:12:05.320
<v Speaker 2>I just look like I haven't even seen it, but yeah,

1:12:05.520 --> 1:12:08.480
<v Speaker 2>like no, nigga, you was out out of town smashing

1:12:08.800 --> 1:12:12.479
<v Speaker 2>a lot, open box were missing. Nah.

1:12:12.560 --> 1:12:14.599
<v Speaker 3>I didn't even say nothing about it until months later,

1:12:14.640 --> 1:12:17.120
<v Speaker 3>because you know, listen, just in case you catch me

1:12:17.240 --> 1:12:17.880
<v Speaker 3>or some whole ship.

1:12:17.960 --> 1:12:19.920
<v Speaker 2>I ain't saying nothing about your whole ship.

1:12:20.840 --> 1:12:22.559
<v Speaker 5>Because y'all wasn't like together together.

1:12:23.880 --> 1:12:26.240
<v Speaker 3>But st we've definitely was having sex with a condom.

1:12:26.880 --> 1:12:29.200
<v Speaker 3>So I'm just happy to see him fucking somebody else

1:12:29.240 --> 1:12:32.040
<v Speaker 3>with one. Yeah, so I was just tripping for real.

1:12:32.640 --> 1:12:34.160
<v Speaker 3>I would make a music with me too.

1:12:36.960 --> 1:12:40.240
<v Speaker 6>Like you have any fondoms that stops some writing in motion?

1:12:40.560 --> 1:12:40.880
<v Speaker 4>Like what.

1:12:43.479 --> 1:12:48.800
<v Speaker 2>Pull one of those out there boxing your suitcase? I

1:12:48.800 --> 1:12:53.639
<v Speaker 2>don't have it in that box over there. I want

1:12:53.720 --> 1:12:55.320
<v Speaker 2>to know, what are you doing?

1:12:55.439 --> 1:12:57.439
<v Speaker 3>Now to heal, because I actually about the book you

1:12:57.479 --> 1:13:01.640
<v Speaker 3>said that really wasn't how it wasn't really that therapeutic

1:13:01.680 --> 1:13:03.200
<v Speaker 3>for you, you know, having to relive the things.

1:13:03.240 --> 1:13:05.320
<v Speaker 2>So what are some of the things you're doing to

1:13:05.520 --> 1:13:06.639
<v Speaker 2>heal to our listeners?

1:13:06.680 --> 1:13:08.360
<v Speaker 3>And note, because I'm pretty you're not the only person

1:13:08.439 --> 1:13:10.400
<v Speaker 3>that went through all this dumb this shit we've been

1:13:10.680 --> 1:13:12.240
<v Speaker 3>through to not as extensive.

1:13:12.360 --> 1:13:18.560
<v Speaker 4>But I had to sit and first I had to

1:13:18.600 --> 1:13:23.120
<v Speaker 4>figure out what I wanted, because unfortunately, some people that

1:13:23.240 --> 1:13:27.160
<v Speaker 4>go through these things they don't some of them don't

1:13:27.400 --> 1:13:30.479
<v Speaker 4>want or don't know how to get out of it,

1:13:30.520 --> 1:13:34.320
<v Speaker 4>and not to not just physically or financially, emotionally and

1:13:34.640 --> 1:13:39.280
<v Speaker 4>mentally because you're like, you're thinking about what's next, what's

1:13:39.360 --> 1:13:42.080
<v Speaker 4>out there? Well, if I leave him, then what And

1:13:42.200 --> 1:13:46.360
<v Speaker 4>then you start, sadly enough, thinking about, well I don't

1:13:46.400 --> 1:13:47.840
<v Speaker 4>want him to be with someone else.

1:13:47.920 --> 1:13:48.720
<v Speaker 6>Now I didn't think that.

1:13:48.880 --> 1:13:50.960
<v Speaker 4>I was like, please let him be with somebody else,

1:13:51.000 --> 1:13:53.280
<v Speaker 4>because she's gonna be miserable as fun.

1:13:54.120 --> 1:13:55.439
<v Speaker 6>But for me, it was.

1:13:57.160 --> 1:13:58.800
<v Speaker 2>How do you move on?

1:13:59.080 --> 1:14:01.080
<v Speaker 6>Like, how do you put the pieces together? What do

1:14:01.160 --> 1:14:03.799
<v Speaker 6>you do now? We had a dog, we have a house.

1:14:04.320 --> 1:14:06.240
<v Speaker 6>My daughter, this was her first.

1:14:08.000 --> 1:14:11.000
<v Speaker 4>Year out here as far as the school, and she

1:14:11.200 --> 1:14:14.679
<v Speaker 4>had behavioral issues and problems in school, and I wanted

1:14:14.760 --> 1:14:18.400
<v Speaker 4>to offer her the stability of going to like the

1:14:18.520 --> 1:14:21.519
<v Speaker 4>same school and not different schools every year like she's

1:14:21.640 --> 1:14:22.160
<v Speaker 4>been doing.

1:14:22.800 --> 1:14:25.560
<v Speaker 6>So then I'm like, damn, like how what what do

1:14:25.760 --> 1:14:29.920
<v Speaker 6>I do? And why? I was just like, you know what,

1:14:31.560 --> 1:14:35.760
<v Speaker 6>I can't live unhappy. When he's not home, You're wondering who.

1:14:35.800 --> 1:14:39.160
<v Speaker 4>He's with, what he's doing, how long he gonna be there.

1:14:39.760 --> 1:14:42.960
<v Speaker 4>If he comes home two hours after he's left, You're like, oh,

1:14:43.000 --> 1:14:45.160
<v Speaker 4>he must have been with somebody else. He leaves out with,

1:14:45.479 --> 1:14:48.040
<v Speaker 4>you know, cologne smelling good and his clothes on.

1:14:48.240 --> 1:14:51.519
<v Speaker 6>You're like, oh, okay, so you still out here living

1:14:51.600 --> 1:14:53.320
<v Speaker 6>your life. I can't live like that.

1:14:53.960 --> 1:14:57.599
<v Speaker 4>So even if it means starting over and you're alone

1:14:57.800 --> 1:15:00.040
<v Speaker 4>for a little bit, I've rather had that then, and

1:15:00.600 --> 1:15:04.840
<v Speaker 4>my mind betraying me and thinking things, And you know,

1:15:04.960 --> 1:15:08.080
<v Speaker 4>your mind can turn against you when you're you're already

1:15:08.120 --> 1:15:11.679
<v Speaker 4>in a state and you're thinking about what someone else

1:15:11.800 --> 1:15:15.000
<v Speaker 4>is doing, what they could be doing, like you are

1:15:15.680 --> 1:15:20.040
<v Speaker 4>capable of breaking yourself apart. The other person did what

1:15:20.160 --> 1:15:24.400
<v Speaker 4>they did, but the after effect of it is on you.

1:15:25.439 --> 1:15:29.200
<v Speaker 4>So I had to start thinking about myself when my daughter.

1:15:29.240 --> 1:15:31.160
<v Speaker 4>When I found out my daughter was pregnant. And it's

1:15:31.160 --> 1:15:34.519
<v Speaker 4>funny because I found out from Amazon because she ordered

1:15:34.560 --> 1:15:38.000
<v Speaker 4>some prenatal pills and they sent a notification that they

1:15:38.040 --> 1:15:40.400
<v Speaker 4>were having trouble making her delivery.

1:15:40.840 --> 1:15:42.680
<v Speaker 6>And I call her like, is it something you want

1:15:42.720 --> 1:15:44.360
<v Speaker 6>to tell me? And she was like, why are you

1:15:44.479 --> 1:15:45.040
<v Speaker 6>asking me that?

1:15:45.120 --> 1:15:47.439
<v Speaker 4>I said, because Amazon's trying to get you your prenatal

1:15:47.560 --> 1:15:51.320
<v Speaker 4>pills and they can't get them to you. You're pregnant girl,

1:15:51.680 --> 1:15:54.200
<v Speaker 4>She was like. She started laughing, and I madebe and

1:15:54.280 --> 1:15:57.240
<v Speaker 4>she went into all that. So I'm like, oh, this

1:15:57.479 --> 1:16:01.920
<v Speaker 4>is definitely the sign I needed that something better is coming.

1:16:02.600 --> 1:16:04.840
<v Speaker 4>I didn't want to sell my house. That wasn't in

1:16:04.920 --> 1:16:08.320
<v Speaker 4>the plan. And I had to tell myself with that

1:16:08.479 --> 1:16:12.439
<v Speaker 4>as well, like sometimes your plans aren't your plans, They're

1:16:12.479 --> 1:16:16.559
<v Speaker 4>not the plans God has for you. And when this happened,

1:16:16.600 --> 1:16:19.920
<v Speaker 4>I felt, you know, a little shaken the earth because

1:16:19.960 --> 1:16:21.720
<v Speaker 4>I'm like, well, what do I do?

1:16:21.920 --> 1:16:22.800
<v Speaker 6>How do I move on?

1:16:23.840 --> 1:16:27.360
<v Speaker 4>And I prayed and I said to God, you must

1:16:27.400 --> 1:16:30.400
<v Speaker 4>have a purpose for me. I'm gonna keep pushing on

1:16:30.800 --> 1:16:35.519
<v Speaker 4>until that purpose is revealed. Put my house on the market.

1:16:35.680 --> 1:16:40.160
<v Speaker 6>Called my real estate agent, like, look, how can I

1:16:40.240 --> 1:16:43.439
<v Speaker 6>how much can we get for this house? She came over,

1:16:43.600 --> 1:16:46.080
<v Speaker 6>She's looking around. She's like, you sure you want to

1:16:46.240 --> 1:16:48.439
<v Speaker 6>sell it. I'm like, I don't have a choice.

1:16:49.520 --> 1:16:55.120
<v Speaker 4>I need all ties cut talk to different attorneys. Maryland law,

1:16:55.240 --> 1:17:00.360
<v Speaker 4>Pennsylvania law, totally different. Pennsylvania consernedos married, So I have

1:17:00.479 --> 1:17:04.959
<v Speaker 4>to file for divorce here. Maryland considers us and considers

1:17:05.040 --> 1:17:07.080
<v Speaker 4>it bigger me, so I would have to. I can

1:17:07.120 --> 1:17:10.200
<v Speaker 4>file for an annulment and they avoid the marriage. It's

1:17:10.240 --> 1:17:12.080
<v Speaker 4>a whole mess. So I'm like, okay, I'm gonna sell

1:17:12.160 --> 1:17:15.800
<v Speaker 4>this house and then we won't have property in Pennsylvania

1:17:15.840 --> 1:17:18.240
<v Speaker 4>and then I can file for my annoyment and marriage

1:17:18.360 --> 1:17:19.439
<v Speaker 4>and Maryland.

1:17:20.080 --> 1:17:21.960
<v Speaker 6>So I've repurposed the plan.

1:17:22.080 --> 1:17:25.960
<v Speaker 4>I changed it and I and the plan is probably

1:17:26.080 --> 1:17:28.599
<v Speaker 4>only for it like this month and this month, this month,

1:17:28.640 --> 1:17:29.640
<v Speaker 4>because sometimes.

1:17:29.320 --> 1:17:31.400
<v Speaker 6>We make a plan for four or five six years.

1:17:31.439 --> 1:17:33.920
<v Speaker 4>You ever meet someone there like, what's your plan for

1:17:33.960 --> 1:17:37.439
<v Speaker 4>the next five years? It's okay not to have one. Oh,

1:17:37.560 --> 1:17:39.320
<v Speaker 4>my own girl just asked me that the other day,

1:17:39.320 --> 1:17:39.640
<v Speaker 4>and I was.

1:17:39.680 --> 1:17:44.280
<v Speaker 2>Like, girl, I don't know, I don't know. Five years

1:17:44.439 --> 1:17:48.400
<v Speaker 2>is just you know, a lock. It happened the present.

1:17:48.800 --> 1:17:52.600
<v Speaker 6>Yeah, let's where about today and tomorrow, in the in

1:17:52.680 --> 1:17:55.560
<v Speaker 6>the weekends, and let's let's let's tackle that.

1:17:56.920 --> 1:18:01.320
<v Speaker 4>So once I, you know, revamped the plan, I started

1:18:01.360 --> 1:18:03.559
<v Speaker 4>to feel better. And every day is not a good day.

1:18:03.640 --> 1:18:07.200
<v Speaker 4>Some days my mom reminds me of the dumb shit

1:18:09.120 --> 1:18:13.280
<v Speaker 4>and where I am and how I got here. But

1:18:13.400 --> 1:18:17.080
<v Speaker 4>when you know, I stopped trying to plan everything and

1:18:18.760 --> 1:18:23.000
<v Speaker 4>make everything go my way, or stop trying to figure out.

1:18:22.960 --> 1:18:24.200
<v Speaker 2>How I got there.

1:18:24.720 --> 1:18:28.240
<v Speaker 4>Yeah, when you just let it go, it's like a

1:18:28.439 --> 1:18:32.479
<v Speaker 4>calm comes and you're like, Okay, this is what I

1:18:32.600 --> 1:18:32.960
<v Speaker 4>need to do.

1:18:33.080 --> 1:18:35.600
<v Speaker 6>You're down for a little bit, you're crying, You're depressed.

1:18:35.680 --> 1:18:37.599
<v Speaker 6>I can't go on, I don't want to live.

1:18:37.720 --> 1:18:40.000
<v Speaker 4>All that stuff comes into play, But at some point

1:18:40.040 --> 1:18:43.160
<v Speaker 4>in the time you got like, look, you've cried, you've

1:18:43.200 --> 1:18:44.800
<v Speaker 4>been sad, you've been depressed.

1:18:44.880 --> 1:18:45.560
<v Speaker 6>What are you gonna do?

1:18:45.680 --> 1:18:45.800
<v Speaker 10>Now?

1:18:47.120 --> 1:18:50.280
<v Speaker 6>You have to get up and you have to do something.

1:18:51.280 --> 1:18:54.280
<v Speaker 4>And my something was okay, house on the market, get

1:18:54.360 --> 1:18:57.040
<v Speaker 4>a profit from that, move back to the South, help

1:18:57.120 --> 1:19:00.600
<v Speaker 4>my daughter with my first grand baby, Maybe open a

1:19:00.640 --> 1:19:04.840
<v Speaker 4>couple of businesses. I have my esthetics license, Maybe get

1:19:04.920 --> 1:19:08.240
<v Speaker 4>back into that our work. I can retire in January,

1:19:08.479 --> 1:19:12.439
<v Speaker 4>like a lot of things I'm preparing for that don't

1:19:12.479 --> 1:19:13.640
<v Speaker 4>include highs.

1:19:14.920 --> 1:19:15.360
<v Speaker 2>Period.

1:19:15.800 --> 1:19:24.320
<v Speaker 3>Okay, absolutely absolutely, y'all cop the book Okay, How I

1:19:24.840 --> 1:19:29.920
<v Speaker 3>Married a Vegas. Okay, there it goes, y'all. It's gonna

1:19:29.920 --> 1:19:33.040
<v Speaker 3>be New York Times bestseller from your list to God's end.

1:19:33.560 --> 1:19:35.280
<v Speaker 4>Where can you find the book? Tell them where they

1:19:35.280 --> 1:19:37.120
<v Speaker 4>can find your book at so you can order my

1:19:37.240 --> 1:19:42.479
<v Speaker 4>book on my website, The Creative Baldgirl dot com.

1:19:42.680 --> 1:19:48.160
<v Speaker 6>Traditional spelling of all the words why and girl. Just

1:19:48.479 --> 1:19:51.280
<v Speaker 6>the Creative Baldgirl dot com.

1:19:53.040 --> 1:19:55.160
<v Speaker 2>All right, wait, hold on, let up.

1:19:55.200 --> 1:20:00.240
<v Speaker 3>Let our listeners know wherever they can reach you at Instagram, Twitter, whatever.

1:20:00.160 --> 1:20:05.040
<v Speaker 4>Yes, follow me on TikTok, Instagram, Facebook, The Creative.

1:20:04.600 --> 1:20:08.720
<v Speaker 6>Ball Girl is my my user name on all of them.

1:20:09.160 --> 1:20:11.680
<v Speaker 4>Follow me on TikTok because I hear TikTok is the

1:20:11.760 --> 1:20:15.240
<v Speaker 4>thing now and I need some TikTok shacks, Tani. I

1:20:15.360 --> 1:20:19.880
<v Speaker 4>need them some thousands, honey, So follow me on TikTok.

1:20:20.479 --> 1:20:23.880
<v Speaker 4>I'm gonna start hopefully doing contents. People say, girl, you

1:20:23.960 --> 1:20:27.599
<v Speaker 4>gotta get people some content, get some followers. Okay, I'm

1:20:27.640 --> 1:20:30.000
<v Speaker 4>gonna try. I'm gonna try. I got some you know,

1:20:30.160 --> 1:20:34.120
<v Speaker 4>doing my little content calendar and stuff, and yeah, trying

1:20:34.160 --> 1:20:38.320
<v Speaker 4>to get in some bookstores, some local black owned bookstores,

1:20:38.640 --> 1:20:39.759
<v Speaker 4>do some book tours.

1:20:41.040 --> 1:20:43.719
<v Speaker 6>You know, y'all probably see me walking around Charlotte.

1:20:43.760 --> 1:20:51.160
<v Speaker 2>Hey, hey girl, I have a rise. I'm back dollar period.

1:20:52.040 --> 1:20:55.519
<v Speaker 2>I love it all right, y'all. Thank you so much,

1:20:55.560 --> 1:20:56.120
<v Speaker 2>Sean for.

1:20:59.160 --> 1:20:59.719
<v Speaker 5>That was great.

1:21:00.040 --> 1:21:02.320
<v Speaker 3>All right, y'all listen. So if you enjoy this episode

1:21:02.520 --> 1:21:05.200
<v Speaker 3>and all the dumb shit, y'all, tune in every Thursday

1:21:05.760 --> 1:21:08.920
<v Speaker 3>on the iHeartRadio app wherever the fuck you get your

1:21:09.000 --> 1:21:12.400
<v Speaker 3>podcasts at this your co host aj Holiday two point oh,

1:21:12.479 --> 1:21:13.840
<v Speaker 3>y'all follow me down if you won't get on.

1:21:14.040 --> 1:21:17.240
<v Speaker 5>What's Up Tam, y'all is official, Tam Bam. I love y'all.

1:21:17.240 --> 1:21:18.040
<v Speaker 4>Thank you for tuning in.

1:21:18.200 --> 1:21:20.639
<v Speaker 2>Remember to speak now and never hold them niggas.

1:21:20.680 --> 1:21:23.599
<v Speaker 3>Oh okay, girl, get the fuck up early and soon

1:21:23.840 --> 1:21:24.720
<v Speaker 3>y'all have a good day.

1:21:24.760 --> 1:21:25.679
<v Speaker 2>God bless later