Speaker 1: If you thought four hours a day, minutes a week
Speaker 1: was enough, I think again. He's the last remnants of
Speaker 1: the old republic, a sole fashion of fairness. He treats
Speaker 1: crackheads in the ghetto gutter the same as the rich
Speaker 1: pill poppers in the penthouse, the clearing house of hot takes,
Speaker 1: break free or something special. The Fifth Hour, which Ben
Speaker 1: Maller starts right now. That it does, and we are
Speaker 1: in the air everywhere, Do not be hoodwinked, Do not
Speaker 1: be bamboozled or hornswoggle. This is the real McCoy here
Speaker 1: for your weekend listening pleasure. Plausibly, it's about sports, but
Speaker 1: let's be honest here, the Fifth Hour has morphed into
Speaker 1: something else. I don't know if that's good or not,
Speaker 1: but it is loosely related to the sporting world. And really,
Speaker 1: what I've determined here is that we only talk about
Speaker 1: sports when there's nothing else to talk about. We we
Speaker 1: then begin with sports, and one of the reasons for
Speaker 1: that I will explain here in a second. But we
Speaker 1: are available here in the air everywhere, the vast power
Speaker 1: of I Hearts Podcast Network available, as you know because
Speaker 1: you're listening right now wherever you get your podcast, to
Speaker 1: tell a friend, Tell a friend, tell a friend, subscribe
Speaker 1: to the podcast. One minute. That's all we ask. You
Speaker 1: can be the one minute man. You'll be a hero.
Speaker 1: You know, another walks of life. If you're the one
Speaker 1: minute man, you're not a hero in this. You're a
Speaker 1: hero because all we need is one minute. That's it.
Speaker 1: One good minute. And I know this is mind boggling,
Speaker 1: but one good minute and we get credit and that's
Speaker 1: all we need. So that's that's it. We just need
Speaker 1: a minute of your time, download the podcast, subscribed to
Speaker 1: the podcast, and that we'll keep doing the podcast. Maybe
Speaker 1: we'll even get paid for it at some point. Now
Speaker 1: I do this with someone who is Public Enemy number one,
Speaker 1: a heathen. He's like a pariah. He might as well
Speaker 1: play for the Astros. David Gascon, who is here. He
Speaker 1: got his cards. Hold, we'll talk more about that later.
Speaker 1: Hello Gascon, I'm you know what. I went to talk
Speaker 1: a healthy amount of sports. We try to intertwine it though,
Speaker 1: because unlike your show, which is strictly sticking to sports,
Speaker 1: otherwise guys get triggered. We try to go off the
Speaker 1: beaten path a little bit. We have a little spice
Speaker 1: and variety and some humor and some stories behind everything
Speaker 1: we do here. So you know it's a mix and match.
Speaker 1: But you've got it all week long anyway, right, So yeah,
Speaker 1: well I do save some stuff, Like I mean, there's
Speaker 1: some of the personal stuff. I feel like this is
Speaker 1: for the hardcore hard oh group, you know what I mean.
Speaker 1: Like this is like a special group here that listen
Speaker 1: to this. These are like the top one percent of
Speaker 1: the Mallet militia that download the Fifth Hour. Because it's
Speaker 1: not the radio podcast goes to everybody. This podcast is
Speaker 1: you gotta like search around for it a little bit. Yeah,
Speaker 1: but we we have it housed on your your site
Speaker 1: for Fox Sports Radio, so it is it is right
Speaker 1: there embedded with everything else throughout the week. So it
Speaker 1: just caps off the week. It's a cherry on top
Speaker 1: for the for the people like a little color in
Speaker 1: their life. Yeah. Anyway, So as far as what's coming
Speaker 1: up up on this podcast, we have the gall bladder
Speaker 1: punching Back, Costco dust Up, the King of All Douchebags
Speaker 1: grab Bag, and we also have study This and I
Speaker 1: assume we'll also do you know, don't stick to sports
Speaker 1: time permitting. Of course, we got some really good studies
Speaker 1: this week. I feel now it's just gonna be one
Speaker 1: podcast or two podcast this week. What are we looking at?
Speaker 1: We'll do one? I mean we he really pushed it
Speaker 1: last week. I felt like I feel like it needed
Speaker 1: a meal and maybe some water and a towel after
Speaker 1: having to do all that hard labor last week. For
Speaker 1: it wasn't hunting. A lot of hard labor. Was wanting
Speaker 1: to sit in your ass so you can get hemorrhoids
Speaker 1: from talking. I mean, you didn't even talk that much.
Speaker 1: I'm the one that talked. I have to carry the
Speaker 1: water up the hills. The type people talk during your
Speaker 1: shows or during your podcast your bitch and moan about
Speaker 1: it like this is mine, my name's on it. I'm
Speaker 1: the headliner here, I'm the showcase right out of com
Speaker 1: press release for me and have only my name attached
Speaker 1: to it. That's Ben Mellay. Well, you gotta know that
Speaker 1: you're the old I'm the alpha, and that's in this relationship.
Speaker 1: I'm the alpha dog, all right, and I am marking
Speaker 1: my territory, urinating all over the podcast is what I'm doing.
Speaker 1: You're more like the queen and I'm like Commander Bond.
Speaker 1: I just you know I'm here, God save the Queen,
Speaker 1: and here I am for you. Yeah, you know the
Speaker 1: term there's a thing called the centaur, which combines a
Speaker 1: man and a horse. But what happens when you combine
Speaker 1: a man and a donkey? What do you call that?
Speaker 1: Because that would be you, that would be with you.
Speaker 1: I am the citadel for your little your little Kate
Speaker 1: crusade throughout this journey. If you're about as good as
Speaker 1: the citadel basketball time. This football team, what's that? Or
Speaker 1: the football team or the football team, either way? Exactly?
Speaker 1: All right, let's let's get into it. Is my man
Speaker 1: marcelu would say, this wonderful, glorious weekend as we have
Speaker 1: the last full weekend of February, right, this is it.
Speaker 1: And then next weekend you got that that gazzy twenty
Speaker 1: ninth day, and then we go into March after that.
Speaker 1: All right, so the gall bladder punches back. Now, this
Speaker 1: is a story I was debating whether or not to tell.
Speaker 1: I did not tell it on the radio. It is
Speaker 1: tremendously humiliating, It is tremendously unbelievably ridiculous. What has happened
Speaker 1: to me? But I figured, since this is only for
Speaker 1: the one percent that listened to the Fifth Hour podcast.
Speaker 1: I I thought it was would be perfect. So a
Speaker 1: little little backstory for you. Prologue, I believe, is that
Speaker 1: what I call it. So last November I started feeling
Speaker 1: under the weather and I thought I was having, um,
Speaker 1: a little case of heartburn hartburn. So I thought I
Speaker 1: had some heartburn. And uh, you know, I'm a bit
Speaker 1: of a workhorse. I don't like to take time off.
Speaker 1: I don't know, I say, I just power through. I
Speaker 1: I learned to have a little bit of grit. You
Speaker 1: have a little grit in life, and so I tried
Speaker 1: to power through. I ended up in the hospital and
Speaker 1: they shot me up with morphine and they realized right
Speaker 1: away that I was having a gall stone attack. And
Speaker 1: so on November three, I had my gall bladder chopped
Speaker 1: out of me. I had some emergency surgery. I was
Speaker 1: in the hospital for like a week because my goal
Speaker 1: bladder was really bad. Um And and the thing is like,
Speaker 1: since this has happened, here we are in late February,
Speaker 1: it really has not affected my life other than I
Speaker 1: have some gnarly scars. I mean, if you're looking at
Speaker 1: me with my shirt off, that's bad. Anyway, but it
Speaker 1: looks even worse now because I got some scars on
Speaker 1: my chest where they chopped me open. And but it
Speaker 1: changed this week alright, So on Wednesday, why was Wednesday
Speaker 1: different than all of the night saw? On Wednesday Show?
Speaker 1: I ended up I fast during the week. I usually
Speaker 1: eat like one meal on Sunday afternoon. I tried to
Speaker 1: eat Sunday afternoon. I don't eat Sunday night, don't eat
Speaker 1: Monday at all, don't eat Tuesday until like Tuesday night typically. Um,
Speaker 1: but sometimes I'll skipped to uh to Wednesday. But anyway,
Speaker 1: so this week I skipped a couple days on Wednesday show.
Speaker 1: So Tuesday into Wednesday, which is Wednesday Show, I end
Speaker 1: up breaking my asket, and I broke it a little
Speaker 1: later than normal. Um, my wife very kindly cooked up
Speaker 1: a delicious meal of grilled chicken and uh it was
Speaker 1: kind of an Asian dish with some rice noodles, and
Speaker 1: that was wonderful, very delicious, yell meat to my tummy.
Speaker 1: But what I've learned is with the gallbladder here, when
Speaker 1: you fast and then you you know, you go a
Speaker 1: couple of days without eating and then you eat, you
Speaker 1: generally have to go to the bathroom within thirty or
Speaker 1: ninety minutes, and there's no controlling it. It's life without
Speaker 1: a gallbladder. So if you have your gallbladder, be be appreciative.
Speaker 1: So so here here's the point of the story. So
Speaker 1: I knew I knew at some point I was going
Speaker 1: to have to spend some time on the throne. I
Speaker 1: knew that, and I had eaten a little later than
Speaker 1: I wanted to. But here's the problem. That part didn't
Speaker 1: really that part hasn't really impacted my life. So but
Speaker 1: I had to leave to go to work. I got
Speaker 1: a long drive to go into the Geico Fox Sports
Speaker 1: Radio studios. So I make the drive problem. I go
Speaker 1: to work and I'm like, oh wait, maybe I don't
Speaker 1: have to go to the bathroom now. Maybe everything's good.
Speaker 1: Maybe I'm all right, Maybe this is I've moved past
Speaker 1: this and I'm fine. So I'm in my little booth.
Speaker 1: They're getting ready for the show, doing some copious research
Speaker 1: for the for the show that night, and about thirty
Speaker 1: minutes before we're scheduled to go on the air, I
Speaker 1: get that feeling. We've all had that feeling. It's called
Speaker 1: the runs, all right, Now, I immediately stop, I drop
Speaker 1: what I'm doing. I then made an executive decision which
Speaker 1: I would end up regretting get backfired, that I was
Speaker 1: going to use. I was not going to use the
Speaker 1: bathroom downstairs because we've got a bunch of animals that
Speaker 1: work in our building and I would rather I would
Speaker 1: rather use a public bathroom outside a whorehouse than the
Speaker 1: bathroom that we use on a regular basis, because people
Speaker 1: are disgusting and you know, as as Dion Sanders ranted
Speaker 1: this week, guy's aim all over the US. So what
Speaker 1: I did, guess Hunt, I said, you know what I'm
Speaker 1: gonna do. I'm gonna go to the corporate offices of
Speaker 1: the Premier Networks. I am gonna go into the main building.
Speaker 1: I'm gonna take the elevator because I know the time
Speaker 1: they clean the bathrooms by the time I get there.
Speaker 1: The cleaning clue crew in the building, the main We
Speaker 1: don't have a cleaning crew in our building, but in
Speaker 1: their building, they clean everything in that that place, that
Speaker 1: part of the building by the time I get there.
Speaker 1: So I'm like, I'm gonna go in there, I'm gonna
Speaker 1: have a clean bathroom. Everything will be great. And this
Speaker 1: is where all the executives who pay Sean Hannity, Rush Limbaugh,
Speaker 1: Steve Harvey, Ryan Seacrest, all these big stars at Premiere.
Speaker 1: The corporate headquarters, the Global Center is right here, but
Speaker 1: at night it's empty, and I have access to it,
Speaker 1: and it's got a really cool bathroom. So I'm like,
Speaker 1: all right, I'm gonna do this. So I'm walking through
Speaker 1: the courtyard now. I happened to walk out with wreck
Speaker 1: Itt Ralph, which was a problem because he delayed me
Speaker 1: because he told me another story about hacks. So he's
Speaker 1: delaying me, which totally screwed the whole thing up. But
Speaker 1: I made it in the building. I waved at the guard.
Speaker 1: I kept moving because I knew I had the runs.
Speaker 1: Gotta hurry up, got a house. I go to the
Speaker 1: secure elevator elevator there in the building. I used my
Speaker 1: card key to get up to the floor I need
Speaker 1: to get to. I walk out of the elevator. I
Speaker 1: am then making a right hand turn. I've made that turn.
Speaker 1: I make another right hand turn. Now right here, this
Speaker 1: is the moment where I see pay dirt. Right there's
Speaker 1: this long hallway. It's really long, and think about a
Speaker 1: big corporate office is long hallway and on the left
Speaker 1: hand side is the men's room. I've got nothing at
Speaker 1: this point but open field. I'm the running back at
Speaker 1: about the twenty yard line, and uh, no one's in
Speaker 1: front of me. No one, There's only people behind me.
Speaker 1: There's no one in front of me. I'm gonna make
Speaker 1: it right wrong guest gone popery poop. I got the ships.
Speaker 1: As I turned that corner, I pooped my pants. And
Speaker 1: this was a total fucking nightmare. Uh So, at this point,
Speaker 1: I've got about twenty two minutes, two minutes or something
Speaker 1: like that till we go on the air. Now, this
Speaker 1: is a job that you can't be wait for. You know,
Speaker 1: if you have certain jobs you can call up and say, hey,
Speaker 1: I'll be a few minutes later or whatever. They don't
Speaker 1: really care. You gotta be on time. The show starts.
Speaker 1: When the show starts, So I scramble. I'm in scramble mode.
Speaker 1: I put my game face on right now. I tried
Speaker 1: to contain what I call the Exxon Valdis as an
Speaker 1: outdated reference, but I try to contain the spill and
Speaker 1: I did. It was it was an underwear situation that
Speaker 1: took the brunt of the damage. All right, So what
Speaker 1: I did then? You know, I'm I'm like, oh man,
Speaker 1: I got it. What am I gonna do here? So
Speaker 1: I took him off. I'm in the bathroom here. I
Speaker 1: took care of business. I then did what's the term
Speaker 1: for cleaning up in the bathroom? You know that I
Speaker 1: forget the term that you take a shower in the
Speaker 1: sink kind of thing, not as a as a slang term.
Speaker 1: But maybe somebody can send it to me. I don't rememberbody.
Speaker 1: I'll probably say the wrong thing. It'll be be in
Speaker 1: trouble or whatever. But but anyway, so I washed up
Speaker 1: as much as I could. Uh and uh, and then
Speaker 1: I carried the soiled underwear out. Why why didn't you
Speaker 1: carry it out? Because I mean I could wash. I
Speaker 1: got a bunch of questions, so keep going, all right,
Speaker 1: So I walk out. So at this point, I'm I'm
Speaker 1: going I'm I'm rambo, I'm commando because that's what I
Speaker 1: am doing, commando style. So I cleaned up again. I
Speaker 1: cleaned up everything pretty much I could, I thought, because
Speaker 1: you know, corporate people, I could just imagine the president
Speaker 1: of the Premier Networks coming in and seeing ship all
Speaker 1: over the bathroom. And then you know, you know, goodbye.
Speaker 1: I'm done. So I cleaned up everything and I did
Speaker 1: all this in twenty two minutes, twenty one minutes or so,
Speaker 1: and then I walked out. I went to the car.
Speaker 1: I had a little thing of cologne, and I figured
Speaker 1: I probably smelled like ship because I shipped my pants.
Speaker 1: So I spread cologne all over the place, and uh,
Speaker 1: and then I walked into the building. Now here's the question.
Speaker 1: I did the show. I didn't say anything. Now here's
Speaker 1: the question who. It's multiple choice. Who on the staff
Speaker 1: figured out that I had a problem. Was it a Roberto,
Speaker 1: b Eddie, C Cooper, Loop or D none of the above?
Speaker 1: All right, So the process of elimination, I'd had to say.
Speaker 1: You can eliminate Eddie for two reasons. One is he's
Speaker 1: in a studio that you guys can't see each other,
Speaker 1: and two, he doesn't engage with you at all. That's right, Um,
Speaker 1: Coop is oftentimes a loof during your show. Man Roberto
Speaker 1: is there, but I don't know if come on, guest guy,
Speaker 1: I'm gonna say D. None of the you think that
Speaker 1: nobody on my staff, these hard working people that are
Speaker 1: extremely important to the show, that nobody noticed that the
Speaker 1: host of the show shipped his pants twenty minutes before
Speaker 1: the show. Yeah, I'm gonna say no, Well no, he
Speaker 1: had nobody all right, the correct answer reveal answers. Reveal answers.
Speaker 1: You are correct. Not a single person noticed that. I
Speaker 1: had a very unfortunate situation that hadn't happened to me
Speaker 1: since I was a child, take place a few minutes
Speaker 1: before the show. I was getting a little worried because
Speaker 1: the crew has a reputation. I didn't want to soil it.
Speaker 1: You know what you're providing me about I I must
Speaker 1: have smelled. There used to be a young lady that
Speaker 1: worked at our building. She didn't work at Fox, but
Speaker 1: she worked across the hall. I don't know if I've
Speaker 1: told this story before. Um, but somebody, one of the
Speaker 1: I think was Jerry, my producer at the time, I said,
Speaker 1: you know, I think she's, um, she's like a stripper.
Speaker 1: And I said, what are you talking about. She's she's
Speaker 1: a good looking girl. Whatever. I don't, I mean, why
Speaker 1: would you call her a stripper? That's I mean, that's
Speaker 1: she's just a regular girl with her No, I said,
Speaker 1: he said, Smeller, she's got the perfume of a stripper
Speaker 1: and uh and sure enough, like when she was in
Speaker 1: the building, she left a certain smell in. I mean
Speaker 1: it was it was a nice smell, but it was
Speaker 1: over the top perfume. And sure enough, when she was there, Jerry,
Speaker 1: I guess she had done some adult stuff. Actually not either,
Speaker 1: that's like the next level. Jerry found some of the
Speaker 1: photos on the internet. What's her name? And it's pretty wild.
Speaker 1: What's that? What's her name? I don't even remember her name.
Speaker 1: I mean, I don't know what she's doing now. She
Speaker 1: maybe she's doing that full time. I don't know. But
Speaker 1: it was really funny because I'm guessing I smelled like
Speaker 1: that where you because I put so much cologne or
Speaker 1: whatever I had on. Yeah, I was like I was
Speaker 1: trying to counter the smell that I thought I had.
Speaker 1: But then I'm like, well, I'm sitting in a room
Speaker 1: by myself. These guys don't really talk to me, so
Speaker 1: I'm I think I'm pretty good. It's like, it's not
Speaker 1: like I have to go out and speak in a
Speaker 1: public square in front of even I am in the
Speaker 1: public square, but I'm like hidden in the public square. Yeah. No,
Speaker 1: so you're referencing a biday. Correct, I wouldn't know. But
Speaker 1: day what that's that's what the thing with the water
Speaker 1: that cleans up everything? Yeah? Right, no, no, no, I'm
Speaker 1: telling you there's a term when you're in the bathroom
Speaker 1: and you shower, but you only use the sink to shower.
Speaker 1: I don't know. Alright, So can I ask my questions?
Speaker 1: Are you done with the story? Are you gonna interrogate me?
Speaker 1: Are you gonna get a little bit the third degree?
Speaker 1: A little bit? Yeah? But these aren't gonna be scripted. Um.
Speaker 1: First off? First off, what were you? What were you wearing?
Speaker 1: What was your tire for the night? All right? So
Speaker 1: I had a guy a long sleeve sweatshirt kind of
Speaker 1: like the thing the baseball players were under their jersey.
Speaker 1: And then I had sweatpants on, I had shoes on. Okay,
Speaker 1: what color were the sweatpants? Fortunately, they were black. Okay,
Speaker 1: that's good. And in your shoes what color were those?
Speaker 1: They were also black? Black? Good tennis shoes on it.
Speaker 1: That's good because sometimes as you wear sandals and we
Speaker 1: not usually I usually wear shoes, though I usually wish
Speaker 1: I know, Um, was there any kind of markings on
Speaker 1: the floor on the runway towards the bathroom. No. But
Speaker 1: in the bathroom when I pulled everything off, there was
Speaker 1: some stainage. All right, What did you do with the
Speaker 1: underwear once you were done with it? Alright? So I
Speaker 1: tried to wash off the stank as much as I could, um,
Speaker 1: but that was kind of disgusting. And then I just
Speaker 1: I kind of made it into a ball. The part
Speaker 1: that wasn't soiled. I wrapped around the part that was
Speaker 1: so I could hold it, um and I and I
Speaker 1: then uh made the walk of shame and carried it down.
Speaker 1: Where'd you carry it too? Though? Did you put it
Speaker 1: into the studio? Did you put it in your car? No? No,
Speaker 1: I put in the back of my car. Put in
Speaker 1: the back of my car, which is uh. And I
Speaker 1: was like, well, it's gonna smell, but it was cold.
Speaker 1: It was kind of cool that night. So you didn't
Speaker 1: put in the trunk? No I Did I put in
Speaker 1: the trunk, Yeah, the back of the trunk. How how
Speaker 1: was your opening monologue after that? You know, nobody even't
Speaker 1: seemed to notice any different. I was just screaming like
Speaker 1: a lunatic about the astros and so that's pretty much
Speaker 1: what I on the only thing I've been doing that's
Speaker 1: become the centerpiece of the show. And so I don't
Speaker 1: think anybody really noticed any difference. I pulled it off.
Speaker 1: I'm like the Astros. They pulled off the perfect crime.
Speaker 1: I pulled off the perfect ship your pants before twenty
Speaker 1: minutes before network radio show? Did you know full disclosure?
Speaker 1: Did you know that there was a floor below the
Speaker 1: one that you went on that is also operated by
Speaker 1: Premiere that you can access? No, I think I was
Speaker 1: on the right. Well you're so you're saying, like the
Speaker 1: third is that? Is that all you're saying? Yes, I
Speaker 1: didn't know. I never go there. I I'm usually, uh,
Speaker 1: the fourth floor guy. I'm usually a fourth floor guy
Speaker 1: because I wasn't going to go to the fifth because
Speaker 1: I know there's people they're doing show those. Yeah, so
Speaker 1: I don't I wouldn't do the fifth. I thought the
Speaker 1: fourth was good. I've done that before. That's corporate offices mostly,
Speaker 1: and they're all gone at five o'clock, so I knew
Speaker 1: they had been gone for many hours. And I know
Speaker 1: they cleaned those bathrooms. They scrubbed those scrub a dub dub.
Speaker 1: They scrubbed those so good. Because they do not they do.
Speaker 1: I want those corporate people upset it. All right, So
Speaker 1: here's the other here's the last question, type right, the
Speaker 1: final question. When you got to the fourth floor, did
Speaker 1: you go through the glass doors? No? No, I knew
Speaker 1: where the bathroom if I had planned this out. You know,
Speaker 1: I learned when I was younger, reading Sun Zoo's book
Speaker 1: The Art of War, that you've got to have a plan.
Speaker 1: And so I realized, guest gone, I knew where the
Speaker 1: bathroom was. I mapped the whole thing out of my head.
Speaker 1: I had a whole plan. Ralph left me up a
Speaker 1: little bit wreck at Ralph by talking to me, but
Speaker 1: I don't think that would have mattered anyway. I believe
Speaker 1: that I was just because of the gall bladder. This
Speaker 1: was gonna This was inevitable. It was a bad job.
Speaker 1: I mean, I should have just used the public bathroom downstairs,
Speaker 1: but I tried to go with hygiene and I got burned.
Speaker 1: No good deed goes unpunished, as they say. And this
Speaker 1: is amazing because just a week prior to this, we
Speaker 1: actually talked about someone I think asked us a question
Speaker 1: about that. When we talked about, um, have you ever
Speaker 1: literally shoot your pants. Yeah and yeah thanks to yet again,
Speaker 1: guess gun yet again remember uh you you famously said, hey,
Speaker 1: have you ever heard of the emergency surgery? And uh
Speaker 1: and then like a week later, I'm in the operating
Speaker 1: room that you're a schmuck. You are you know what
Speaker 1: you are? You're a plague. Gives what you are? This
Speaker 1: is unbelievable. All right, heyway that's my that's my gall
Speaker 1: bladder punching back story. So I guess does that make
Speaker 1: me more relatable or are people gonna hate me more now?
Speaker 1: Or I'm not sure how it works. I don't think
Speaker 1: it's relatable because you don't get too many people that
Speaker 1: have had their gallbladders removed, and outside of the guys
Speaker 1: just have accidents. Though my wife was I told my wife,
Speaker 1: she's like, well, she she said, she hears it like
Speaker 1: places like Home Depot and Lows. A lot of those
Speaker 1: construction guys are going there to take a dump because
Speaker 1: they don't have bathrooms they can use, and they'll shift
Speaker 1: their pants. Sometimes they'll just leave the underwear in the
Speaker 1: in the bathroom at Home Depot and Lows. That's soiled underwear.
Speaker 1: Oh man, that's that's tragic. Yeah, and I moved past it.
Speaker 1: I'm I'm alright, and I've learned my lessons. So from
Speaker 1: now on, I know I have between thirty and ninety
Speaker 1: minutes when I fast. I go to day fast. I
Speaker 1: usually once a day, but if I do it two
Speaker 1: day fast, I know I have to have thirty to
Speaker 1: ninety and if I don't go to the bathroom, this
Speaker 1: is going to happen again. So I need to plan
Speaker 1: out better. And I really have to cut off when
Speaker 1: I eat by a certain time otherwise this is this
Speaker 1: oil is going to become flowing out. Now do you
Speaker 1: think if you would have had anything that was solid
Speaker 1: this would have saved you, Like if you had anything
Speaker 1: I don't want to say high in fiber because I
Speaker 1: would have made you go anyway, but anything with I mean,
Speaker 1: I don't know bread or rice, No I no I had.
Speaker 1: I had a little rice, but no, it's just and
Speaker 1: I'm not a doctor. I can play one on the
Speaker 1: on the radio. I play a lawyer on the radio.
Speaker 1: But there's something related to the gall bladder and fasting
Speaker 1: where it's it's unavoidable. It doesn't matter what I eat,
Speaker 1: like I've eaten fried. I used to think it was
Speaker 1: just because of fried food. Yeah, but this this was
Speaker 1: not This was grilled chicken and some some rice cooked
Speaker 1: in rice dood was cooked in the pond. Man, you
Speaker 1: are saved by the fact that you work at an
Speaker 1: overnight shift and there was nobody in the building. Oh yeah,
Speaker 1: but clearly, I mean if I had, I mean it
Speaker 1: would have been a nightmare if I during the day
Speaker 1: with all those people wandering around wearing nice clothes and
Speaker 1: all that, and if if I had an important meeting
Speaker 1: to go. Imagine if I had to go to some meeting.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, just imagine if you actually took the time
Speaker 1: to show up early to work and prep and get
Speaker 1: here at a responsible time, none of the stuff would
Speaker 1: have happened. Well, I was there a responsible is I have?
Speaker 1: You know the I have the home set up. I
Speaker 1: know you're not at that level game. I'm not prep
Speaker 1: and not relatable. I have internet access, and I know
Speaker 1: you're kind of generic and all that. You do a
Speaker 1: little cookie cutter prep, But I I have I spent
Speaker 1: a lot of time. I'm type A when it comes
Speaker 1: to show prep. I kind of feel bad for you,
Speaker 1: and in some ways you don't I do they do
Speaker 1: this is? I think you're enjoying my misery. You're doing
Speaker 1: some schadenfreud. No, I don't do it like that. I mean,
Speaker 1: that's time and place for everything, but it is. It
Speaker 1: is reliable for a lot of people that that listen
Speaker 1: to your show, especially because we get a lot of
Speaker 1: people around the country that drive a ton and there's
Speaker 1: not a lot of drop offs. There's not a lot
Speaker 1: of get off the runway or the off ramp and
Speaker 1: and and go, and that's just nature of the beast.
Speaker 1: But a pro tip, find your nearest, nicest hotel and
Speaker 1: you're safe. As soon as you walk into the hotel,
Speaker 1: make sure you're on your cell phone or pretend like
Speaker 1: you're talking on your cell phone, and head straight to
Speaker 1: delivery and then you're good. Yeah, that's good. You know
Speaker 1: what I did One time I had a situation where
Speaker 1: I was I met a friend, my gambling buddy Hunter.
Speaker 1: I met him for lunch and I knew that this
Speaker 1: was gonna happen. So what I did was I walked
Speaker 1: around Tar, I walked around Target, and I used the
Speaker 1: facility at Target. At Target, yeah, I wanted a Costco,
Speaker 1: but I Costco was too far away. I like Costco
Speaker 1: because they have three rolls of toilet paper and each
Speaker 1: each to all there at cost. Speaking of costco have
Speaker 1: we just done twenty five minutes almost on me shipping
Speaker 1: my pain? We've done We've done defication podcast. So we went.
Speaker 1: We went for the month of January, we went all
Speaker 1: death talk and now in February we've done all defecation sore.
Speaker 1: And when can we get like the people at porta
Speaker 1: Potty to smile this or the squatty potty people to
Speaker 1: sponsor this. You know what your birthday is coming up,
Speaker 1: Maybe we should get you some diapers. Well I'm heading
Speaker 1: that direction here. You know what they call that in
Speaker 1: the Civil War? This is this is a random thing.
Speaker 1: This my head so so fucked up. So I remember
Speaker 1: watching the documentary about the Civil War. You know what
Speaker 1: they call what I happened to me in the Civil War?
Speaker 1: They called it the Tennessee Trots, is what they called it.
Speaker 1: It's another way of saying dysenterry, but it's the I
Speaker 1: had the Tennessee Trots. That is what I had. I was.
Speaker 1: I jumped on the poop train. This is great. This
Speaker 1: is probably a little bit of karma since you were
Speaker 1: taunting and flaunting your your Taco Night and Taco Day
Speaker 1: with Bob Fesco over in Kansas City, the Great Bob Fesco,
Speaker 1: respected member of the radio fraternity, the Brotherhood of Sports
Speaker 1: gas Bags right number one morning show in Kansas City.
Speaker 1: And we're hanging out, we're schmoozing at El Coyote on
Speaker 1: Beverly in l A. And drove him over to the
Speaker 1: Getty After that, the Getty Center dropped him off, gave
Speaker 1: him a ride over there. It was a wonderful a
Speaker 1: wonderful time to talk to a professional, respected broadcast and
Speaker 1: it was just absolutely got a little ship on your
Speaker 1: nose now and not on your ass anymore. Fox Sports
Speaker 1: Radio has the best sports talk lineup in the nation.
Speaker 1: Catch all of our shows at Fox Sports Radio dot
Speaker 1: com and within the I Heart Radio app search f
Speaker 1: s R to listen live. All right, So the Costco
Speaker 1: dust dump dummy, the Costco dust up dummy. So last weekend, uh,
Speaker 1: but my life is turning into a sitcom. So last
Speaker 1: weekend I made my traditional sample run at Costco, but
Speaker 1: I decided to change it up gas gun and I
Speaker 1: went to a different foreign location than I normally do.
Speaker 1: And this was in several cities over from where I.
Speaker 1: Usually there's two costcos I rotate in my area, so
Speaker 1: I'm like in between two costcos. This was a totally different.
Speaker 1: It's like, this is about the thirty minutes away. I
Speaker 1: just happened to go there. I I do some business
Speaker 1: in that area, so I thirty minutes away. I figured
Speaker 1: I would give the local sample workers that tanned out
Speaker 1: the food the week off, and so I ended up
Speaker 1: getting into a verbal rhubarb with someone at Costco. All right,
Speaker 1: this is again, this is not my Costco. This is
Speaker 1: just some other Costco and I end up getting into
Speaker 1: a bit of a dust up. Now you want to
Speaker 1: take a guess here was this is multiple choice? Was
Speaker 1: it a a customer at Costco, be a Costco employee
Speaker 1: that wanted to see my Costco card and stop me
Speaker 1: at the door, or see none of the above. Well,
Speaker 1: it's gotta be somebody, so I'll go with B. All right,
Speaker 1: that is correct. I got into a disagreement with the
Speaker 1: people handing out the samples, one person in particular, guy
Speaker 1: or girl woman. All right. So they had this little
Speaker 1: popcorn thing with like sugar on top or whatever. They
Speaker 1: little pop big bags of popcorn. They were trying to
Speaker 1: to sell. But they had samples, and I figured it
Speaker 1: was whatever. But it was free and I learned when
Speaker 1: I was a kid, if it's freeze for me. Um.
Speaker 1: So I had my rotation, go I had that. They
Speaker 1: had a chicken dumpling thing going, they had chicken nuggets.
Speaker 1: They had several stands that were okay. I mean i'd
Speaker 1: give I'd grade the samples like, uh, I can give
Speaker 1: him a CE. So anyway, I'm doing my rotation and
Speaker 1: this old woman, this grandmas, you know, she's handing out
Speaker 1: the samples. It's fine, no problem with older women or whatever.
Speaker 1: That's fine. So she starts giving me this sales wrap
Speaker 1: role I'm grabbing the sample. I ignored her. So the
Speaker 1: next time I come around, she's a little more aggressive.
Speaker 1: She says, do you really like that popcorn a lot?
Speaker 1: Don't you? Right now, I'm not interested in play by
Speaker 1: play when i'm I'm a whore at you know, samples.
Speaker 1: You know what I'm saying. I don't want to hear
Speaker 1: the play by play when i'm eating. I want to
Speaker 1: enjoy it. I don't need your commentary. I'm gonna hit
Speaker 1: the mute button. But I didn't say anything right, just
Speaker 1: kind of whatever. So the next time I come around,
Speaker 1: she again this, This older woman says, you like that
Speaker 1: popcorn a lot? Then this is what set me off.
Speaker 1: This was what said off the neutron bomb. She then
Speaker 1: it's an addendum, this woman says, why don't you buy
Speaker 1: a bag? Now? What do you think? My rebuttal was
Speaker 1: nobody fucking asked no. My response was, why don't you
Speaker 1: buy me a bag? All right? Now? This woman's then
Speaker 1: she's flummacks. This woman's flummicks. Why she's taking it back.
Speaker 1: She's like, I can't believe this guy said this to me.
Speaker 1: What was the level of audio that you said this set?
Speaker 1: It was pretty loud because I was irritated. I was bothered,
Speaker 1: and I kept my mouth shut the first couple of
Speaker 1: times she annoyed me, But at this point it was
Speaker 1: such a headache. I was like, well, screw it, I'm
Speaker 1: going it's not my normal costco. So anyway, so I say,
Speaker 1: I say that line, why don't you buy me a bag?
Speaker 1: She then is like she's knocked back a little bit.
Speaker 1: She then says she doesn't have any money. So my
Speaker 1: response is, well, guess what, I don't have any money either,
Speaker 1: which is true. I didn't have any cash in my
Speaker 1: wall at the time, so anyway, so I kept but
Speaker 1: I I'm a soldier. I wandered around and the next
Speaker 1: three times I made the rounds to get the popcorn.
Speaker 1: That woman kept her mouth shut. She did not say
Speaker 1: anything to me. You know what that is, guest, gone,
Speaker 1: that's winning at the Costco sample game? Us what that is?
Speaker 1: Because I've heard, I've talked to somebody. I'm friends with.
Speaker 1: Some of these people to hand out the Costco samples.
Speaker 1: Their job is just to hand out the samples. Yeah,
Speaker 1: they got to give a sales wrap. But you you know,
Speaker 1: you do not stop people from getting samples. You know,
Speaker 1: they get as many as they want. That's just the
Speaker 1: way it is now. That's it. Period stops. So you
Speaker 1: meant you made a Costco employee bend the knee as
Speaker 1: she was providing samples for you, and you decided to
Speaker 1: crush her. I mean, she probably had a smile on
Speaker 1: her face when she said this, and almost sudden he
Speaker 1: snapped back at her. No, she seemed a little annoyed
Speaker 1: that I was taking so many samples. She's seen bothered.
Speaker 1: But and it's not really a Costco employee. They sub
Speaker 1: let that out third party. I would never do that
Speaker 1: to a Costco plus. So was she god, was she
Speaker 1: an older or younger woman? No, I said she was
Speaker 1: a little older. I don't know. I'm bad at judging ages.
Speaker 1: I don't know. Most of those people are are either
Speaker 1: really young it's their first job, or they're really old,
Speaker 1: and there's not a lot of people in between that
Speaker 1: do that job. That was was your wife with you? No,
Speaker 1: Unfortunately she was not with me. She's very happy about
Speaker 1: that that she wasn't with She would have snapped, she
Speaker 1: would have bit her fucking head off. Yeah. Yeah, she
Speaker 1: does not appreciate that kind of civil discourse. Oh yeah,
Speaker 1: you're you're your better half has some sauce, you're better
Speaker 1: a half has a ninety nine fast but that will
Speaker 1: cut inside on people. Yeah, she's You've got a potty
Speaker 1: mouth and all that stuff. So I love it. Unfortunately,
Speaker 1: it was just between me and the person. You've had
Speaker 1: ever seen that person again? Yeah, but you've had some
Speaker 1: mug again. You've had some brutal dust ups now at Costco.
Speaker 1: You've had your car hit, You've you've lost your fucking
Speaker 1: cell phone there, and now you've gotten into a roue
Speaker 1: bar with with an employee that was passing up free samples.
Speaker 1: And you wonder why it's one place I go every week.
Speaker 1: It's like to me, it's like my it's my tabernacle,
Speaker 1: it's my church, it's my sanctuary. What it is my temple?
Speaker 1: You have no kitchen, though, How the funk are you
Speaker 1: doing all this at Costco? Well, I'm just wandering around.
Speaker 1: I don't buy anything when I'm doing the same like
Speaker 1: lately the last month, two months now, I haven't bought anything.
Speaker 1: I just get samples. So let me get this straight.
Speaker 1: For as frugal as you are, you actually take the
Speaker 1: time to drive to a Costco further away to get
Speaker 1: free samples of bullshit? Well, I was actually doing something
Speaker 1: in the area, so I just happened to be in
Speaker 1: the area. But it worked out that way, and uh yeah,
Speaker 1: I happened to pop into Costco. And this is more
Speaker 1: embarrassed in the new shipping your pants, Oh do you
Speaker 1: keep your mouth shut over there? This is I'm embarrassed
Speaker 1: for you now. I'm not even happy that. But I
Speaker 1: hang out with the flotsam and jetsam is what I do.
Speaker 1: I hang out with um. So I invite you my
Speaker 1: pants at Costco. And I would have been a lot
Speaker 1: better if you actually do that in front of her.
Speaker 1: You have had a toxics bill, I apologize. How about
Speaker 1: I buy a bag and then shoot all over your feet?
Speaker 1: How about that? Thanks? Is that part of the deal?
Speaker 1: Is that part of the package. So I invite you
Speaker 1: out for a wonderful night of baseball between cal State
Speaker 1: Fullerton Tulane and you reject me to go get free
Speaker 1: samples at Costco. Well, like, this is what your day
Speaker 1: has become. First of all, listen, you wanted me to
Speaker 1: do some kind of work. Was enjoying baseball. I do
Speaker 1: not work for free. Yeah you do, Yeah, you do.
Speaker 1: I do not. I want my work rewarded. I do
Speaker 1: not want my work unrewarded. And uh the the simple
Speaker 1: Active Charity ends at this pro bono podcast, which we
Speaker 1: have still not been paid for. And we've done it
Speaker 1: for how many months? Now? Do we had? Seven months?
Speaker 1: I think this thing's been going on. Yeah. We launched
Speaker 1: it late September early October. Yeah. Yeah, So like if
Speaker 1: they're even if you had paid me twenty bucks, I
Speaker 1: probably would have done it. But uh no, I'm not
Speaker 1: got stuff to do. You know, I got a lot
Speaker 1: of things. I gotta go to Costco, I gotta watch
Speaker 1: out for my gall bladder. You don't live a busy life,
Speaker 1: all right. Well, moving on, the king of douchebags that
Speaker 1: would be David gascon Now, I didn't start with this
Speaker 1: because I didn't want to feed your ego. I know
Speaker 1: you're a narcissist and all that, but you have really
Speaker 1: touched a nerve with the Malley militia and every man,
Speaker 1: woman and child seemingly united together, all right, they are
Speaker 1: united together in their range. You are such a dickhead,
Speaker 1: you are. I don't really, I don't know if you
Speaker 1: realize it. So for those that haven't been playing along,
Speaker 1: it's time to dish out some real talk. Um. And
Speaker 1: so David Gascon fix is kind of funny to to
Speaker 1: funk with his co workers. And h you are such
Speaker 1: a disgrace when it comes to the automobile that literally
Speaker 1: Henry Ford and Carl Benz are rolled over in their
Speaker 1: graves at the way you drive and the way that
Speaker 1: you park. And this led to a feeding frenzy to
Speaker 1: to the Malam militias. So the other day I'm pulling
Speaker 1: to work a guesstconsta in the news desk, and first
Speaker 1: of all, I couldn't get in the building because my
Speaker 1: parking pass wouldn't work for some reason. There was a glitch,
Speaker 1: which was my first problem. But then I get in,
Speaker 1: I drive a little bit, make a right hand turn
Speaker 1: into the I Heart Media Slash Premiere Networks parking lot there,
Speaker 1: which other people use sometimes. So I go in there
Speaker 1: and uh, I immediately see this car in an odd angle. Now,
Speaker 1: originally I thought, well, that must be just a car,
Speaker 1: you know, stop for a second, then the car will
Speaker 1: get out and move on. And then I realized, no,
Speaker 1: the lights are off on the car. The car is
Speaker 1: not moving. The car is parked at a forty five
Speaker 1: degree angle. I guess, uh, crossing over my parking place
Speaker 1: which I park in every night, and the one next
Speaker 1: to it. The two premier parking spaces are both covered
Speaker 1: up by this assholes car. And it is none other
Speaker 1: then David Jay Gascon especially known as I was as
Speaker 1: they would call it an acute angle that I was
Speaker 1: parked debt and uh, I was on the line, so
Speaker 1: it was perfect. But you know this, this building that
Speaker 1: we park in has eight floors, and I think I
Speaker 1: did you guys a little bit of service because you
Speaker 1: guys are always in your regular routine, very lazy, showing
Speaker 1: up just a couple of seconds before the show actually
Speaker 1: goes on the air. And I had to make you
Speaker 1: guys walk in additional ten ft ten fifteen feet. So
Speaker 1: I think I added a little bit something to your
Speaker 1: dynamic of the show, because one, you get the blood
Speaker 1: flowing a little bit, because I know you guys are
Speaker 1: typically just static and too that you guys actually had
Speaker 1: something else to talk about. And uh, I thought you
Speaker 1: got the entire show involved, which is nice because at
Speaker 1: times a rather dormant for at least three or four hours, um,
Speaker 1: and then the list. There is an awful lot of
Speaker 1: people in this world that have some sad lives. Call you.
Speaker 1: Let's let me give you some call you. Hold on
Speaker 1: a sec, Hold on a sec, your mama, Luke, let
Speaker 1: me give you some some Mallard militia reaction here. Uh
Speaker 1: and how we should adjudicate this, Bob wrote in on
Speaker 1: our Facebook page. He said car dealerships use a washable
Speaker 1: ink to write on their car windows. Looks like a
Speaker 1: Bingo marker, So I say you gotta inc all of
Speaker 1: the windows. Russell pointed out the trailer park boys. And
Speaker 1: he has a photo here of Cyrus's Corvette where they
Speaker 1: wrote on the on the hood of the car dick
Speaker 1: with an arrow pointing at the driver. I think that's
Speaker 1: a good idea. I think that's pretty funny. Uh Chris says,
Speaker 1: clearly guests gone blocking emergency exits and is a safety
Speaker 1: hazard immediately in Pound the car are is what he
Speaker 1: had to say. Uh. Andre pointed out that Gagon parks
Speaker 1: like he's from Houston, right. Fred's very upset, He's he's sad.
Speaker 1: He said, who could park in Ben Mallory's parking spot? John?
Speaker 1: I thought John summed it up very well and from Colorado.
Speaker 1: He said, that's how they park west of the four
Speaker 1: oh five. And that's true. John, this is a douchebag move.
Speaker 1: But this is a move. The irony, though, is our
Speaker 1: studio and the garage is actually east of the four
Speaker 1: o five. I know, but you're parking like a west
Speaker 1: of the four five guy. That's why I wouldn't work where.
Speaker 1: I wouldn't go to that building if it was if
Speaker 1: they moved across the four or four oh five and
Speaker 1: the one on one in l A. But I would move.
Speaker 1: I wouldn't work there. I quit. I'm a pilot, said,
Speaker 1: when you make an entrance like that, you can park
Speaker 1: however you want. Good job by David. I thought that
Speaker 1: was probably the best one that you have about. How
Speaker 1: about Kelly from Honolulu? Man says, my son owns a
Speaker 1: towing company. We can have that car repode. That's great, Kelly.
Speaker 1: Can you get that on a boat? Can you get
Speaker 1: that on a boat? Please? There a lot of triggered people.
Speaker 1: It reminds me of twict. I'm just beginning here. People,
Speaker 1: are you have really soiled? I'll use that word again.
Speaker 1: Your your reputation even more. You can't use the same
Speaker 1: adjective during the same podcast. All right, let's see. Koli
Speaker 1: Klei writes in from Parts unknown and says, since he's there,
Speaker 1: do him a solid and check his tires by kicking
Speaker 1: off the tire stems. It's what that guy's recommending. Brent,
Speaker 1: longtime listener on the number one sports station the country,
Speaker 1: k FAN one hundred point three on the FM dial
Speaker 1: in Minneapolis. Do you know that's the number one sports
Speaker 1: station in the whole country? What is it? Is it
Speaker 1: Minnesota than Seattle? I don't know who's in number two.
Speaker 1: But I know that that the k fan is number
Speaker 1: one the most listened to sports talk radio station, and
Speaker 1: our show is on that we're and it's true, man,
Speaker 1: Even in the middle of the night, like I have
Speaker 1: the local radio in some cities, I feel like there's
Speaker 1: more people listening at three in the morning in Minnesota
Speaker 1: than there are when I've done mid days in like Denver.
Speaker 1: It's crazy, Yeah, because they're I think they have a
Speaker 1: blow towards to Well. I also believe they have no competition.
Speaker 1: I don't think there's any competitor in the market, and
Speaker 1: they cover the entire state. There's like a fan network
Speaker 1: around the state of Minnesota. So it's wild man. And
Speaker 1: then you know, all those teams usually blow and the
Speaker 1: Vikings have been a playoff team, but the Twins, I
Speaker 1: guess they've been twin They can't beat anybody, and the
Speaker 1: Wolves suck all right anyway, So Brent writes, and he says,
Speaker 1: here's the response from Fox Sports Radio Management quote, we
Speaker 1: have met with Mr Gagon and he has expressed in
Speaker 1: sere remorse and has fully explained his rationale behind his
Speaker 1: parking era. Therefore, this time FSR management will not be
Speaker 1: punishing Mr Gagon. Furthermore, any retaliation from Mr Mallard any
Speaker 1: of his Mallard Militia associates, uh will result in discipline
Speaker 1: two said parties. Uh, there you go, says that's that
Speaker 1: came right from Scotch Shapiro, who apparently is a big
Speaker 1: fan of what's his name, Rob May. I love it
Speaker 1: all right? You want more? I mean, I can go
Speaker 1: on on here. I do. I do take offense to
Speaker 1: the fact that you post on Instagram and on Facebook,
Speaker 1: which I'm not on Facebook thankfully, and Instagram I wasn't
Speaker 1: properly tagged, so you need to do a better drop
Speaker 1: of that. I did tag you on on the Instagram.
Speaker 1: I put your little stupid name on there. That's a
Speaker 1: great name. It's a good parking job. There's a lot
Speaker 1: of triggered people out there in this country. Ben it
Speaker 1: is absolutely william Sir Williams says he lives in the Bronx.
Speaker 1: He says, this is how we park out here in
Speaker 1: the Bronx during snowstorms. What he said, who was somebody
Speaker 1: from who is it from Utah? The recommend of the
Speaker 1: boot from Hawaii? No, somebody guy? Oh yeah, the guy
Speaker 1: from Utah. Yeah, that guy. That's his job. He's parking
Speaker 1: in forcement right around like I think he's in Salt
Speaker 1: Lake or outside Salt Lake, and he drives around at
Speaker 1: night booting people's cars. That's his gig. Can you imagine
Speaker 1: seeing that on your car? Waking up one day with
Speaker 1: a food on your car? Maybe too, that guy would
Speaker 1: do it. He said he would do it. Jimmy writes,
Speaker 1: because you're not Steve Harvey, move your vehicle. Yeah, Steve
Speaker 1: Harvey did that. We'd all laugh and say that's you know,
Speaker 1: do what you want. I'll lick your feet after you're done,
Speaker 1: I'll wash your cars. That's exactly how you guys play
Speaker 1: this out anybody else. Mike says, I go get some
Speaker 1: dogshit and uh put it on the door handle. Doggie
Speaker 1: do under his door handle. That's what Brian also says.
Speaker 1: Russell says, key that piece of ship. That's what he
Speaker 1: has to say. He's an idiot. To um, Emiliano says,
Speaker 1: have Roberto's primos come take tires and rims on brakes
Speaker 1: and has a good idea wrap the car in plastic.
Speaker 1: How about you remember this? They u see this in
Speaker 1: the NBA a lot. I don't know if they do anymore,
Speaker 1: fill the entire car with popcorn. Popcorn. Yeah, that's a
Speaker 1: good bit. That's a good that's a fun thing to do,
Speaker 1: but you gotta get access to it. I've I've heard
Speaker 1: of people do shaving cream under the door handle or
Speaker 1: vasselin on the doors, like the door handle and the
Speaker 1: doors um or eggs too. Or you could put something
Speaker 1: in the tail pipe, but I think you have to
Speaker 1: be careful because that could cause a serious problem. But
Speaker 1: there's like the yeah you want to puck really smells
Speaker 1: where they people that drive the car don't have access
Speaker 1: to it. Or fish, Yeah, like fish is a good one.
Speaker 1: The other thing you could do is you could write, like,
Speaker 1: you know, a message like hey, this guy's a dickhead,
Speaker 1: but you write it on the passenger side and you
Speaker 1: take the chance that the driver will not go to
Speaker 1: that side of the car, because most people when they
Speaker 1: go to their car, they don't walk around the car,
Speaker 1: and then that will be on the side of the
Speaker 1: car when the person is driving around that you know, Hey,
Speaker 1: this guy is an asshole, this guy's a schmuck. That
Speaker 1: kind of thing, Dan says. Dan writes in and regarding
Speaker 1: your parking here, He's from Maine. And he says, call
Speaker 1: a tow truck, tell them that this your car broke down.
Speaker 1: You need a toad to a repair shop, is what
Speaker 1: he what he recommended. Uh, so you can't read that
Speaker 1: on the air. Wait when you can't read that on
Speaker 1: the air on podcast, I guess we could. Shane says,
Speaker 1: should should you just let the air out of the tires.
Speaker 1: See what people don't understand is that one of those
Speaker 1: people would never do this, and two that requires work
Speaker 1: that none of you guys would ever do anyway. Like
Speaker 1: you guys have a hard time getting someone to change
Speaker 1: your oil every five thousand or ten thousand miles, let
Speaker 1: alone letting air out of someone's tire or trying to
Speaker 1: keep it or trying to mark it up with any
Speaker 1: kind of invisible ink. Dan Don letter Don writes and says, uh,
Speaker 1: you do know that you can say jackass, we can
Speaker 1: handle it. Well he is, he is a jackass. And
Speaker 1: then this guy is like, hey, there's other people. Just
Speaker 1: let the militia handle this. We'll take care of this guy.
Speaker 1: Carlos says, let Sean the hood guy funk with his car. Guy, Yeah,
Speaker 1: that's one of our listeners. You don't listen ricks as
Speaker 1: slashes tires? How about that? Have ever slashed someone's tires before? No,
Speaker 1: I have vandalized cars before, like I when I was
Speaker 1: really Yeah, wheneveryone started driving in high school. We me
Speaker 1: and my buddies on the football team. We uh, we
Speaker 1: had some guys on the team that we were goofing on.
Speaker 1: So we drove, like ten o'clock at night. We drove
Speaker 1: around and just picked up random ship on the side
Speaker 1: of the road to put on the people's car, our
Speaker 1: guys car, one of the other guys on the offensive line.
Speaker 1: And we even like picked up a shopping cart. We
Speaker 1: put it on top of the car. We wrapped it
Speaker 1: in toilet paper put rotting. There was like a rotting
Speaker 1: piece of fish, some leftover food that we put I
Speaker 1: mean we get all of it. That's pretty good. Be
Speaker 1: sure to catch live edition of the Ben Mallery Show
Speaker 1: weekdays at two am Eastern Pacific. Now, do you want
Speaker 1: to hear my karma from that story about my parking job? Okay,
Speaker 1: the home, No, but the following day. Um, the place
Speaker 1: I train at, there's a gym and an in and
Speaker 1: out right next to it. They're probably distance wise or
Speaker 1: probably about fifty yards away from each other. I get
Speaker 1: out of the gym, finished with the workout, and lo
Speaker 1: and behold on my car. I had a gift certificate
Speaker 1: for ten dollars for in and out. Someone placed it
Speaker 1: on the hood of my car. And it was a
Speaker 1: bunch of cars that were out in front of the gym.
Speaker 1: We all had in and out gift certificates and absolutely
Speaker 1: made my day. I went to get a double double
Speaker 1: right after. I thought it was really good. I thought
Speaker 1: it was I thought a nice touch to what I
Speaker 1: had done earlier in the week. Courtesy of the Premier
Speaker 1: Radio Studios. This is what you get for trying to
Speaker 1: rat out Jonas about a month or a month and
Speaker 1: a half ago, taking a picture of his car and
Speaker 1: then bitching about parking for him. And it wasn't even
Speaker 1: his truck. He tried to air me out a couple
Speaker 1: of months ago with my parking job because it was
Speaker 1: a couple of feet away from the back of the
Speaker 1: parking spot. Who cares, nobody, Nobody cares parking a different
Speaker 1: spot in a different lane. Let me explain something to you, dummy. Um,
Speaker 1: these are the kind of things you're a nuisance, is
Speaker 1: what you are. No I'm not. Do you understand that?
Speaker 1: Do you understand the word nuisance? Yes? I do, and
Speaker 1: I'm not. That's what you are. This is the kind
Speaker 1: of everyday little ship that's an inconvenience in an annoyance,
Speaker 1: and it's an irritation. You know. It is because you
Speaker 1: had to parces the kind of stuff and you had
Speaker 1: to go life more difficult. You had noy You irritate,
Speaker 1: you exasperate people because of this kind of stuff. And
Speaker 1: this is what leads to hostility. You don't even realize it.
Speaker 1: This is you don't even realize that you're agitating because
Speaker 1: people can relate to this because everyone's gone to park
Speaker 1: somewhere and some dick bag has has gone and parked,
Speaker 1: you know, two spaces and there's no You're at the
Speaker 1: mall on the weekend, you know, and you want to
Speaker 1: park and you find a space, and then you realize
Speaker 1: that the guy with the corvette parked in two spaces
Speaker 1: and took up the space. You understand. Yeah, then the
Speaker 1: backside that is you running to that same guy in
Speaker 1: a department store is probably picking a fight with a
Speaker 1: teller or someone in customer service over a free samples. Again,
Speaker 1: the exact kind of things that make life not enjoyable.
Speaker 1: I think you don't seem to think that. You think
Speaker 1: this is all funny. I think you're not going to
Speaker 1: be able to convert anyone convert not on the right
Speaker 1: side of history. I'm gonna I don't need to evangelize
Speaker 1: by this because everyone's already converted. They're all the believers
Speaker 1: with my doctrine. Oh boy, it's embarrassing. You got a
Speaker 1: lot of keyboard warriors that follow you. You know, if
Speaker 1: you ever get divorced, I think you'll have no problems
Speaker 1: picking up where you left off because you've got plenty
Speaker 1: of guys out there that will definitely date you when
Speaker 1: you become available. If you know you're jealous, because again,
Speaker 1: what am I jealous about? There's no guess gone. I
Speaker 1: don't need someone seeking my praises and kissing my toes,
Speaker 1: someone trying to wash my underwear when I soiled them.
Speaker 1: I mean, you know someone probably did that my own underwear.
Speaker 1: Would we should do that? We should put your dirty
Speaker 1: underwear on eBay and see how much you'll get sold for.
Speaker 1: I can guarantee you someone that listens to your show
Speaker 1: I actually buy it. Yeah, Okay, yeah, how much will
Speaker 1: they pay for it? I don't know. Put it on
Speaker 1: eBay Mallards soiled underwear. See if anybody seriously, I'll sell
Speaker 1: I have the underwear. I haven't watched him yet. Unless
Speaker 1: I have, why we'll do it all right. Anyway, you
Speaker 1: are the King of Douche. Congratulations on that. Time for
Speaker 1: our grab back segment. These are actual questions from actual listeners,
Speaker 1: and let's get into it on this one as well.
Speaker 1: This is from Gael in Apple Valley, California. Have some
Speaker 1: friends at live in Apple Valley. Gail says, my husband
Speaker 1: thinks that talk is overrated and he hates the Clippers.
Speaker 1: Can you please explain to me why he loves listening
Speaker 1: to your podcast. That's stuff from Gail. Well, he's clearly
Speaker 1: a discerning customer, Gail, And yeah, we do talk about
Speaker 1: the Clippers from time to time, but regardless of that,
Speaker 1: it is entertaining. How would I describe the show, it's uh,
Speaker 1: sports chatter, loosely sports chat o chatter. If I could talk,
Speaker 1: that would help. But yeah, people, I have noticed people
Speaker 1: have really enjoyed my meltdowns on the astros. That maybe
Speaker 1: that's why he listens. Because I have just I'm like
Speaker 1: a nuclear bomb every night. Here I'm in route nation
Speaker 1: over the Astros. So maybe that's why. I don't know,
Speaker 1: but I'm glad he's listening. Thank you, Gail's husband. But
Speaker 1: prior to the reason is there's not a lot of
Speaker 1: people in the mainstream media that have taken shots at
Speaker 1: the Astros, like with the with a bloody bat, like
Speaker 1: everyone everyone. There's a lot of people softball in this
Speaker 1: thing and kind of adhering to what Manfred has said
Speaker 1: and now what the Astros are saying with their interviews
Speaker 1: with Ken Rosenthal. I have no idea why there's a
Speaker 1: lot of outrage. Theory. I have a theory of y
Speaker 1: all right, I thought about it, because you're right. I mean,
Speaker 1: the media elites, the cover baseball, the academia crowd, they're
Speaker 1: not partaking in the feeding frenzy. It's it's the overnight
Speaker 1: radio guy that is doing that night. There's two reasons. A.
Speaker 1: I believe a lot of these in our business and radio,
Speaker 1: a lot of these people were caught off guard. They
Speaker 1: do not want to talk about baseball, they don't and
Speaker 1: they were caught nappy. This is a huge scandal to me.
Speaker 1: This is not even a baseball story. It's a scandal story,
Speaker 1: and there is no better story than a scandal story.
Speaker 1: The greatest story of all is the scandal. I ranted
Speaker 1: about this. I did a little rant on the the
Speaker 1: Show the other night about this, and I believe it
Speaker 1: to be true. The scandal is the gift. And so yeah,
Speaker 1: you say it's a baseball story because it's about the Astros,
Speaker 1: but it's really about the scandal. And every morsel of
Speaker 1: a scandal should be chewed up, devoured like a delicious cake.
Speaker 1: When you do my job and when you work in radio,
Speaker 1: and there's a lot of these guys that would rather
Speaker 1: talk about NFL draft rumors, which is what we'd normally
Speaker 1: be talking about, or they'd rather break down, you know,
Speaker 1: the latest NBA scuttle but whatever Lebron James says. But no,
Speaker 1: I want to be part. I want to be one
Speaker 1: of the piranha. And there's blood in the water and
Speaker 1: I'm part of the feeding frenzy and it's it's great.
Speaker 1: I mean, there's many reasons why scandals are wonderful. They're tittilating, right,
Speaker 1: you know, other people getting in trouble, breaking the rules.
Speaker 1: That's kind of cool. Uh. We can take pleasure out
Speaker 1: of this. There's some pleasure and there's no real punishment.
Speaker 1: Normally we take pleasure out of the punishment, and uh.
Speaker 1: In this case, there's some people taking pleasure because the
Speaker 1: Astros got away with it. A right, that's the other
Speaker 1: thing here. They got away with this. That's that's the
Speaker 1: thing that's upset me. The players, these little snot nose punks,
Speaker 1: these Mama Luke's and uh. And there's also a pleasure
Speaker 1: that you get because typically this hasn't been the case
Speaker 1: with the Astros because they're not apologizing. But normally in
Speaker 1: a scandal you have somebody apologize and asked for forgiveness.
Speaker 1: That hasn't happened, but normally does. But the most important
Speaker 1: part of a scandal is it is a distraction from
Speaker 1: the tedious nonsense that I just referenced on sports radio
Speaker 1: in February when we're talking about every made up rumor.
Speaker 1: These NFL guys, they throw spaghetti against the walls. They
Speaker 1: spin the wheel of speculation hoping something sticks. Uh. And
Speaker 1: then so that's normally what we do. And I listen,
Speaker 1: I'm not against that kind of radio. But to me,
Speaker 1: if you can give me a scandal, I'm gonna take
Speaker 1: the scandal. Oh yeah, absolutely. The other thing that not
Speaker 1: a lot of people have even discussed is that this
Speaker 1: was an opportunity for this to be a criminal investigation too,
Speaker 1: because when you go down to the you go down
Speaker 1: to the heavy meat and potatoes of this. This is
Speaker 1: this consumer fraud, isn't it? Where you have it is?
Speaker 1: I mean, now, if the conspiracy, like you said, yeah,
Speaker 1: baseball has a lot of protections from the federal government.
Speaker 1: And the thing that Baseball really has going for them
Speaker 1: is that there's an election season, and a lot of
Speaker 1: Washington d C. Is so focused on the Democratic race
Speaker 1: and Donald Trump and all that that this is in
Speaker 1: the back of their minds, just in the back burner.
Speaker 1: But if this was not a presidential election year, I
Speaker 1: would think that already we would have had Jose Altuve, Bregman,
Speaker 1: a j Hine cheff Luno called into the Capitol Hill
Speaker 1: area there and have a special you know, congressional hearing
Speaker 1: about this. Well the best part because you're you're looking
Speaker 1: at what these guys got paid with bonuses for the
Speaker 1: World Series. Yeah, yeah, exactly. It's it's you're talking about
Speaker 1: four hundred thousand dollars or almost five hundred thousand dollars
Speaker 1: in in buses. Yeah, and it's you don't know what
Speaker 1: you got from Boston, and but you definitely know you
Speaker 1: got in two thousand seventeen. And then obviously Carlos kre
Speaker 1: had taken shots at Cody Bellinger with ken h the
Speaker 1: same guy that got the immunity is saying, you got
Speaker 1: to know the facts. Well, I can't get the facts
Speaker 1: if you've been given immunity, idiot, don't you just want
Speaker 1: to kick him in the nuts. But it's like, it's
Speaker 1: this is racketeering, right. The racketeering is obtaining or extorting
Speaker 1: money illegally or carrying on illegal business activities. That is,
Speaker 1: would anyone disagree this is racketeering. The Astros committed racketeering. Um,
Speaker 1: you know, and these some of these guys should be
Speaker 1: brought up on grand larceny charges because they're frauds. Uh,
Speaker 1: these these players, but it will be gotten gains, that's
Speaker 1: how it works. They should not should avoid the trophy, tried,
Speaker 1: convicted and executed, Good afternoon, good evening, and good night. Yeah,
Speaker 1: just imagine they're part of I mean, well, yea Manchester
Speaker 1: was at Manchester City or Manchester United. I think it's
Speaker 1: Manchester City. They got banned for two years. How embarrassing
Speaker 1: is that European soccer gets it right in baseball does not?
Speaker 1: How embarrassing is that for America? Yeah, it's it's a
Speaker 1: freaking disgrace, all right. Anyway, Joe writes in with a
Speaker 1: political crush. He says, do you think that Roger Stone
Speaker 1: is a tough guy or just a phony? Uh? He says,
Speaker 1: a trump phony. He says, I love Roger Stone. I
Speaker 1: think Roger Stone is one of the great characters of
Speaker 1: our time and was part of the great Just Wonderful
Speaker 1: um documentary on Netflix, Get Me Roger Stone, which is
Speaker 1: one of my favorite, one of my favorite documentaries in
Speaker 1: recent years. Here and I saw this week Roger Stone
Speaker 1: got about forty months. And that's a federal sentence, right, Yeah,
Speaker 1: so you're typically you have to serve out at least
Speaker 1: eight of a federal offense if you are convicted. And
Speaker 1: so what are we looking at here? Do the math
Speaker 1: on that? Guess they said there would be no math.
Speaker 1: So if you're doing eighty times four, that's what uh
Speaker 1: thirty two? So thirty two months. So he's gonna have
Speaker 1: to spend a couple of years in jail. To spend
Speaker 1: two and almost three years in jail right now, I'm
Speaker 1: sure this is gonna be appealed. Yeah, it should be
Speaker 1: if he's got a pretty good case to appeal. And yeah,
Speaker 1: after I would say he's gonna have to go to
Speaker 1: if he does end up going to jail, you have
Speaker 1: to go to jail for until I'm gonna go on
Speaker 1: a limb here and say till January. If Trump wins,
Speaker 1: he will then get a either either he loses or
Speaker 1: he wins, but either way, on the way out of
Speaker 1: Trump will pardon him. I just I just love how
Speaker 1: federal agents there was, what thirty or forty of them,
Speaker 1: plus CNN had a storm a sixty five seven year
Speaker 1: old man's house and then bring him out in shackles. Yeah,
Speaker 1: you know the old things. I mean, listen, you can
Speaker 1: say what you wanted about Roger Stone. You might not
Speaker 1: agree with him politically, the guy is one of the
Speaker 1: great characters in American politics of of all time. He's
Speaker 1: just I was so I was taken a back by
Speaker 1: how good that documentary was. I didn't know a lot
Speaker 1: of I'd heard about Roger Stone. I didn't know a
Speaker 1: lot about him but it was it was crazy. Everyone's
Speaker 1: got a lot of dirt. Yeah, he know, he knows
Speaker 1: where the bodies are buried, which is a blessing and
Speaker 1: a curse at the same time. Uh, let's hear Mike
Speaker 1: and Japan says, has Gascon ever injured anyone with his
Speaker 1: pathetic parking sales? Gascon? Have you ever heard anyone by
Speaker 1: your parking if you backed someone over? No, I've injured
Speaker 1: someone driving, but I haven't injured in and parking yet, thankfully.
Speaker 1: All Right, Mark in Ottawa writes, and he says, if
Speaker 1: Eddie found a new job and you were forced to
Speaker 1: pick between Gagon and Ralph as your number two for
Speaker 1: the rest of your career, who would you pick? All Right, Mark,
Speaker 1: I'm gonna go this is a this is a tough question,
Speaker 1: like this is like Sophie's choice. Um, but I'm gonna
Speaker 1: go with not to be above what I'm gonna go. No,
Speaker 1: I would not want to have either one of these,
Speaker 1: but I guess I would probably choose Ralph because what
Speaker 1: I would do is I just changed the locks on
Speaker 1: the door so Ralph couldn't come in and harass me
Speaker 1: every every break that we have. We not that we're
Speaker 1: supposed to ever break but every pause that we take.
Speaker 1: But I wouldn't pick you, guess because you can't handle
Speaker 1: the overnights. You're a daytime guy. You know. It's it's fine.
Speaker 1: It's not for everybody. A little tough guy. I have
Speaker 1: a little great to work the overnight. Yeah, yeah, I
Speaker 1: gotta work an overnight update shift. Um with a lot
Speaker 1: of things not trending at two o'clock in the morning,
Speaker 1: three o'clock in the morning. What you're talking about, you
Speaker 1: gonna have some fire in your in your belly. You
Speaker 1: gotta talk about I always have the questionable games of
Speaker 1: note and um, yeah, I mean we do that midway
Speaker 1: through the season. In the end, there's a lot of
Speaker 1: it happens overnight. We get people arrested, in people dying
Speaker 1: while on the radio. I I did do Kobe Bryant's
Speaker 1: death on a on a Sunday morning at ten thirty.
Speaker 1: Heard you really handle that well? I didn't. I handled
Speaker 1: it extremely well. Had watch had calls from from Don Martin,
Speaker 1: your boss, um, from from Steve Harmon saying it did
Speaker 1: a great job. Hub and uh, you know, while's up
Speaker 1: doing this reporting it on what was trending you were asleep,
Speaker 1: so I had to text you and wake you up,
Speaker 1: and uh, yeah, you weren't too thrilled about it. Yeah,
Speaker 1: you like sending message here you so and so died.
Speaker 1: Thank you. Glad to know somebody die. You don't want
Speaker 1: me a part of an overnight show anyway? What's that?
Speaker 1: You don't want me part of your overnight show anyway?
Speaker 1: I know, I don't think you can handle. You'd end
Speaker 1: up in the hospital. No, I just it's one of
Speaker 1: those things when you're you're accustomed to having people just
Speaker 1: throw rose pedals at you and feed you fruit and
Speaker 1: serenade you and all that stuff. It's, uh, it's a
Speaker 1: little bit different with me. I tend to push back
Speaker 1: a little bit and not be so foaming at the
Speaker 1: mouth as some of your other fanboys. Be sure to
Speaker 1: catch live editions of The Ben Maller Show weekdays at
Speaker 1: two am Eastern eleven pm Pacific on Fox Sports Radio
Speaker 1: and the I Heart Radio app. Here's a depressing fun fact,
Speaker 1: just pressing fun fact. Yeah. Every second there there they say,
Speaker 1: roughly fifty nine million people die every year, right, so
Speaker 1: they've done the average. That means about two people every
Speaker 1: second on average, more than a hundred sixty thousand people
Speaker 1: die every day. About that? Not coronavirus induced. No, I
Speaker 1: mean it just happens. People get old, they die, they
Speaker 1: have accidents. I mean, this is what happens. Can we
Speaker 1: not talk about death today? I mean we've done a
Speaker 1: great job the last night. I'm sorry, but yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: all of a sudden, I have more questions here, jose Right,
Speaker 1: since this, what's your earliest memory you can recall? Um,
Speaker 1: I've been asked this before, Jose My. I don't remember
Speaker 1: a lot. I have, just like everyone else, childhood amnesia. Right,
Speaker 1: I have childhood amnesia. I forgot a lot um. But
Speaker 1: the one, the one memory, the first memory I can
Speaker 1: really recall where I was. I was clear as day
Speaker 1: was when Ronald Reagan was shot like that. I think
Speaker 1: that was in n one and I because I was
Speaker 1: on the school bus and they had the guy had
Speaker 1: the radio, the news radio station was on in the
Speaker 1: school bus and I still remember and I was like
Speaker 1: the last kid on the school bus, and so the
Speaker 1: guy turned the radio all the way up and they
Speaker 1: were like these news bulletins. President Ronald Reagan has been
Speaker 1: shot and wounded in Washington, d C. He's an emergency surgery.
Speaker 1: Right now, he's getting out of his limo for some
Speaker 1: some speech in d C or whatever. And uh, you know,
Speaker 1: the attempted assassination. And so I remember that, I because
Speaker 1: I was then the reporter. I then when I got
Speaker 1: off the school bus, I ran to my mom, Hey, Mom,
Speaker 1: the president were shot. You know, an idea her the
Speaker 1: whole thing. And that's my first memory. What about you, gas,
Speaker 1: I have a couple of them. Actually happened in the
Speaker 1: same game. I was playing little league baseball on left handed.
Speaker 1: One of my coaches actually got me a left handed
Speaker 1: catcher's glove and a game that doesn't say a lot
Speaker 1: about your parking that you're left handed. That's okay, um,
Speaker 1: we're smarter than right hander's um. Anyways, the game that
Speaker 1: I played in and caught in, I I had the
Speaker 1: buster posey rule not invoked. I got ran over at
Speaker 1: home plate by this humongous kid and uh somehow held
Speaker 1: out of the ball, and a good job by whoever
Speaker 1: that kid he was. He was called out, but I
Speaker 1: remember just being launched like head over heels. It was.
Speaker 1: It was pretty traumatic. I was so excited about being
Speaker 1: able to catch and call a game. I did it
Speaker 1: play at the plate. I thought I was tough, but
Speaker 1: I got truck stick that was absolutely brutal. Do your
Speaker 1: video of that? Does your dad have video? Your mom
Speaker 1: a video? No? I do you What was your favorite
Speaker 1: show growing up as a kid. Um, that's a good question.
Speaker 1: I when I was little, I liked I was gonna
Speaker 1: be a cop or a fireman, so I loved There
Speaker 1: was a show called Chips with Pontorello. I love that show.
Speaker 1: And there was a show called Emergency. Oh I remember that. Yeah,
Speaker 1: it was like about paramedics. Yes, and I loved that show.
Speaker 1: In fact, you live west of the four oh five
Speaker 1: is where that fire station is they used on the
Speaker 1: TV show No Kidding, And I'd like to I want
Speaker 1: to go buy there sometime because I, you know, just
Speaker 1: two memories watching that show when I was a kid.
Speaker 1: That's how bad television was. Those are my shows that
Speaker 1: I watched when I was a kid. That in like
Speaker 1: Tom and Jerry cartoons and Sunday Morning they had all
Speaker 1: the greatest cartoons in the world on TV. Had to
Speaker 1: wait till Sunday morning. Yeah, and then we had professional
Speaker 1: wrestling on Sunday, you know, Saturday morning as well. That
Speaker 1: was big this Weekend Baseball, This Weekend Baseball. Oh man,
Speaker 1: that was before the national Game of the week. Yes,
Speaker 1: mine for twin notes around the major leagues. You know,
Speaker 1: I learned I learned from Frank Viola on This Weekend
Speaker 1: Baseball to throw the circle change because Mel Allen did
Speaker 1: a feature and Frank Viola that was his big pitch
Speaker 1: for the Twins. Yeah, and uh, and I learned. I
Speaker 1: tried to throw it. Literally, Yeah, we're gonna get with it. No,
Speaker 1: I sucked. It was terrible and one of my favorite
Speaker 1: shows that well, actually I liked it, but I didn't
Speaker 1: like it. I know, you don't get along with him
Speaker 1: too well. Was was Rescued nine one one? Yeah, I
Speaker 1: don't know. Do you remember that show? No, I don't
Speaker 1: really know. Well, William Shatner was the host of that show,
Speaker 1: and so it was a docuseries based on It was
Speaker 1: like Cops, but before Cops, whether to talk about things
Speaker 1: that would happened, whether it was in l A or
Speaker 1: Orange County, like crime scene investigations and murders and robbery
Speaker 1: and all that stuff. But the music the open, and
Speaker 1: then here comes Shatner and you know you're you're a kid,
Speaker 1: and you know, your dad's a cops so it's kind
Speaker 1: of like, oh, ship, this is what he's in the
Speaker 1: middle of, you know. Yeah, yeah, no, I I liked
Speaker 1: also well, Fred Dryer a friend of the show Hunter
Speaker 1: and Hunter. Yes, that was a good show. There was
Speaker 1: called a show called Swat. Yeah, it was a cheeseball thing.
Speaker 1: Did you watch Killed? Did you watch Mash? I did
Speaker 1: a little bit because that was like the number one
Speaker 1: show when I was a little kid. Yeah, and my
Speaker 1: parents would watch it. So yeah, we had that on
Speaker 1: from time to time. A questions keep coming in This
Speaker 1: is a new in Owensboro, Kentucky, and the news as
Speaker 1: who is your favorite colleague at Fox Sports Radio? And
Speaker 1: do not say gag on? Well, of course I wouldn't
Speaker 1: say that because you guys do a podcast to give
Speaker 1: the same question and rules apply to David well a
Speaker 1: new You know you're trying to get me to pick favorites.
Speaker 1: I would never do that unless I would um My
Speaker 1: my all time favorite employee Fox Sports Radio as a
Speaker 1: former employee. He's now part of the Fox Sports Radio
Speaker 1: Alumni association the TV Dentist, so he doesn't count. Um
Speaker 1: I get along with like I get along with pretty
Speaker 1: much everybody, and there's nobody. There's no real douche bag
Speaker 1: that works in a place that's in the building. Um,
Speaker 1: but I would say like Jonas. Uh. But you know
Speaker 1: the guy I love, I love hanging out with and
Speaker 1: talking shop is Rob Parker. I get such a kick
Speaker 1: out of Rob Parker. I love it. He's a very
Speaker 1: interesting live he was a baseball writer for a long time.
Speaker 1: He worked at ESPN. He's even those rotating gas bags
Speaker 1: with Skip Bayliss and all that. I think Rob's awesome.
Speaker 1: So I love I love hanging out with Rob. We
Speaker 1: we in fact, we need to have dinner gas John.
Speaker 1: We need to have a power dinner with with these
Speaker 1: guys get together and they talk. Yeah, we definitely need
Speaker 1: to do that. I think I will agree with you
Speaker 1: with Rob because I didn't know Rob prior to his
Speaker 1: day's ESPN. So when he came here along with Cris Brussard,
Speaker 1: it was like a breath of fresh air. They're just
Speaker 1: different takes, different guys, and plus, I don't know, it's
Speaker 1: just something about it. I know there's a lot of
Speaker 1: people that love football and hockey and basketball, but when
Speaker 1: he talked to baseball people, they can just talk and
Speaker 1: talk for a while, and it just feels like hanging
Speaker 1: out with Rob and bullshitting with him about different things.
Speaker 1: We could just talk forever, and it's so in depth
Speaker 1: with baseball, but then you get to go on his
Speaker 1: career and where he's traveled. And yeah, he was a
Speaker 1: kid when he covered the Yankees. I think he was
Speaker 1: twenty one years old when he was on the Yankees beat,
Speaker 1: which was unprecedented because oftentimes when he said with his
Speaker 1: paper was that they were required to cover prep sports
Speaker 1: in high school sports. But he got launched right away
Speaker 1: and obviously covering the Yankees as a kid and going
Speaker 1: to Detroit and he's been all over the place. So yeah,
Speaker 1: I mean, and I think we I wasn't never a sportswriter,
Speaker 1: but I got started when I was nineteen. I was
Speaker 1: covering Major League Baseball at the time. So I have
Speaker 1: some fond memories of the early days. Guys that I
Speaker 1: was cheering for for booing a few months earlier, and
Speaker 1: all of a sudden, I'm interviewing them. It was it
Speaker 1: was crazy, but yeah, I would say Rob Parker's And
Speaker 1: Plus the thing about Rob is I feel like me
Speaker 1: and Rob have the same the same boiler plate of
Speaker 1: how to do radio or happening, a lot of opinions
Speaker 1: and a lot of you know, we I feel like
Speaker 1: it's the similar thing where you're not in. The glass
Speaker 1: isn't always half full, it's half empty and broken. Yeah.
Speaker 1: But well that's the other thing too, is that you
Speaker 1: guys aren't grabbing ankles over anybody either. There's a few
Speaker 1: of that little pompons and and and a little powder,
Speaker 1: a little cushion on their seat and there's a yeah, yeah, absolutely.
Speaker 1: I mean Rob is outspoken, he's frank, he's he's clever,
Speaker 1: and those are all things I aspire to be. I'm
Speaker 1: not I'm not usually those things. But entertaining, I think
Speaker 1: the most important thing in radio. People forget this is entertainment.
Speaker 1: But there's ways you can get to entertainment. You just
Speaker 1: want to be boring, as there's different ways to cut
Speaker 1: the cake. You want to be loved or hated, but
Speaker 1: you don't want to be in between. Yeah, absolutely, you
Speaker 1: don't want to be in between. Uh let's see here,
Speaker 1: you get a couple more time is getting away from
Speaker 1: us though, and some other stuff that we want to
Speaker 1: get to. Uh. I always see here, what else? Uh,
Speaker 1: Carlos in Bang Bang Houston, Texas says, I am pissed
Speaker 1: that Sean the Hood Guy did not win Caller of
Speaker 1: the Year. Stop letting Weedman back on the show. Uh,
Speaker 1: there you go, he says. Anyway, have you guys ever
Speaker 1: been part of a natural disaster to a point where
Speaker 1: you all had to be evacuated? I know he's from Texas, Carlos,
Speaker 1: because he said, y'all that's a Texas thing. Um, No,
Speaker 1: I've not. I've you know, living in California, I don't
Speaker 1: live in the hills where the fires are, so that
Speaker 1: it's never happened. I've been close to fires, I've gotten
Speaker 1: the smoke and the ash and all that. But I
Speaker 1: had to be evacuated, So that's never happened. Um, what
Speaker 1: else would you be evacuated for? Like a hurricane? No,
Speaker 1: that's never happened. Earthquakes they don't tell you, so you
Speaker 1: can't evacuate. So no, what about you guests, ever been
Speaker 1: evacuated from your home? No? The closest though, was right
Speaker 1: on part with what you were mentioning with the fires.
Speaker 1: And I think it was two thousand four, two thousand five.
Speaker 1: I was in San Diego and I lived right next
Speaker 1: to Qualcom Stadium, UH formerly the home of the Chargers,
Speaker 1: And I remember one morning, it was the day after Halloween.
Speaker 1: I woke up and the sky was just a bright
Speaker 1: orange color and it was a horrible night for me
Speaker 1: the night prior and I woke up badly hungover, days
Speaker 1: and confused from a girlfriend. And I look at my
Speaker 1: car and it was just covered, and I thought, what
Speaker 1: the fuck, why is it snowing in southern California, Because
Speaker 1: my car at that time was black. My car was
Speaker 1: covered and it was white. It was a picture perfect
Speaker 1: white color. And then I get to it, I smell it,
Speaker 1: and I touch it, and it's all ash. And so
Speaker 1: the fires that were in San Diego, we're near Script's Ranch,
Speaker 1: and that's where most of the San Diego Chargers actually live,
Speaker 1: like Thominson, Vincent Jackson, like a bunch of those guys
Speaker 1: lived in that area. But it was a pretty wealthy
Speaker 1: area as well, so a lot of those people, those
Speaker 1: people that live there had to be evacuated, and a
Speaker 1: lot of them actually centralized at Qualcom Stadium. They had
Speaker 1: first aid and paramedics and and all kinds of emergency
Speaker 1: response teams and so a couple of us. You know,
Speaker 1: we'd go down there and drop off water and some
Speaker 1: of the rations and things. Look at you, Look at
Speaker 1: you trying to get compliments for handing out water. How
Speaker 1: there you know? I mean, we were all part of
Speaker 1: it somewhere all of a sudden, No, but you know
Speaker 1: it hits you, right, I could just psyching, narcissist way went,
Speaker 1: why you were just bragging last week about goodwill and
Speaker 1: donating to a charity. Get the funk out of here
Speaker 1: with stop. I The reason I did that is because
Speaker 1: I felt like I needed to pay off. We had
Speaker 1: a contest, and I didn't say that we won the contest,
Speaker 1: so I had to say that. Well, I'm just answering
Speaker 1: a question, and I'm putting it into content should be
Speaker 1: seen but not her alright, true charity should be anonymous. Well,
Speaker 1: I wasn't tweeting it out at that time. I didn't
Speaker 1: take any selfies like look at me, I'm in the
Speaker 1: middle of a fire. Wasn't on Facebook or my Space
Speaker 1: at that time. So here I am answering a question.
Speaker 1: Why can't you accept it? Overbearingly modest David Gasca clearly? Alright,
Speaker 1: time now for study. This is it real or is
Speaker 1: it bullshit? We got some good ones this week, Yes,
Speaker 1: we do, all right, These are actual studies. New study
Speaker 1: reveals the age most people discover their favorite band their
Speaker 1: favorite band, What age do you think that is? Guest?
Speaker 1: That is correct? Muse. The results revealed that most people
Speaker 1: discover their favorite music artist at the age of thirteen. Now,
Speaker 1: this is my theory to me, the golden years of
Speaker 1: childhood are between the age of like nine or ten
Speaker 1: and thirteen, because you're not a douchebag yet, you haven't
Speaker 1: become a really horrific teenager, and you remember pretty much
Speaker 1: everything from around that age, and so anything that you
Speaker 1: experience is going to be something that the rest of
Speaker 1: your life. Every band you're going to compare to your
Speaker 1: favorite band when you were thirteen. Every in sports, like
Speaker 1: if you've become a sports fan between the ages of
Speaker 1: nine and thirteen and and then the rest of your life,
Speaker 1: the athletes are never as good as they were between
Speaker 1: the ages of nine and thirteen. The teams are never
Speaker 1: as good. Sports are never as fun because you gotta
Speaker 1: go eventually get a job, and you have life that
Speaker 1: gets in the way and all that stuff. But yeah,
Speaker 1: there's that's an amazing time. When you're a kid nine
Speaker 1: to thirteen, it's awesome and so much stuff you for
Speaker 1: the rest of your life, you're gonna judge your life
Speaker 1: compared to what happened those years. So when you grew up,
Speaker 1: what were your favorite bands at that age? You know,
Speaker 1: I was not. I was not into music very I'm
Speaker 1: more into music now than I was. Like, I was
Speaker 1: such a hard old sports guy that I wasn't really
Speaker 1: into it. I got listened to whatever my mom would
Speaker 1: listen to, you know, whatever, and that kind of stuff.
Speaker 1: But I didn't really have like a favorite band. So
Speaker 1: I'm not I'm the exception of the rule. What about
Speaker 1: you guess? So at that age I was Metallica, Pearl Jam,
Speaker 1: Sound Garden, and you can only have one, you can't
Speaker 1: have But I don't know. I just thought they were
Speaker 1: all good at that time. Yeah, I mean I wasn't. Yeah,
Speaker 1: so that you you would think that that's the golden
Speaker 1: age for you of music, right, yeah, that's you remember.
Speaker 1: But for somebody else to be like, oh that music suck,
Speaker 1: it was better, you know. When I was a kid, yeah,
Speaker 1: I was. That was a great time. Eight nine, ten
Speaker 1: years old. Dodgers Lakers, they're all winning something, and I
Speaker 1: became a Broncos fan. They were winning something. They get
Speaker 1: blown out in Super Bowls. It all came together from
Speaker 1: me during that time and it fell apart. All right,
Speaker 1: now I'm moving on. Let's see A new study finds
Speaker 1: that Americans have blank in used gift cards and credits
Speaker 1: looking for dollar amount here. Yeah, um, I don't know.
Speaker 1: I'll say like seven dollars. No, No, it's total amount,
Speaker 1: total amount for the whole country, total amount cards and
Speaker 1: credit cards. Funk, I don't know. You gotta tell me
Speaker 1: on the twenty billion dollars. Now, this has been my
Speaker 1: theory on this. The reason stores give out gift cards
Speaker 1: and uh and and encourage people around the holidays to
Speaker 1: give out gift cards is because a they know it's
Speaker 1: it's kind of like the same thing money back guarantee.
Speaker 1: Most people will never ask for the money back guarantee.
Speaker 1: Even if the products defective. They won't ask for the
Speaker 1: money back guarantee because it's uncomfortable. You have to You
Speaker 1: have to go through the phone system where go meet
Speaker 1: someone and you have to explain the situation. There's a
Speaker 1: lot of red tape. But I think the same thing
Speaker 1: applies with gift cards and credit cards. The other thing
Speaker 1: that happens is even if people use said gift cards,
Speaker 1: oftentimes they'll have a little money left over. Like there's
Speaker 1: a barbecue restaurant I go too, and I have gift
Speaker 1: cards for it I get at Costco. But I'll use
Speaker 1: it and then i won't use the full amount, and
Speaker 1: then I'll forget about it, and I will I like,
Speaker 1: I have gift cards right now that have like maybe
Speaker 1: eight bucks on it. They started out with like fifty
Speaker 1: bucks or seventy bucks, and now they're down to eight bucks,
Speaker 1: but I don't use them because they only have eight
Speaker 1: bucks there. So do you do gift certificates anymore for
Speaker 1: people or no? Well, you know sometimes listen, my wife's
Speaker 1: in charge of handing out the gifts most of the time.
Speaker 1: But I have done them. But they, by the way,
Speaker 1: they say that by generation, the millennials leave the most
Speaker 1: unused fifty gen X is at forty. So there you go.
Speaker 1: That's a a study idea. Let's see. Do you hate
Speaker 1: the sound of your own voice, guest ghunt? Now you
Speaker 1: don't hear narcissist. I don't like listen to myself. I
Speaker 1: don't either. According to a new survey, sixtent of people,
Speaker 1: though hate the sound of her own voice. I think
Speaker 1: it's higher than that. Yeah, like you probably for sure
Speaker 1: back in the day, you probably hear the sound of
Speaker 1: your voice. Yeah, I still can't, still can't stand. You're
Speaker 1: supposed to do air checks every once in a while,
Speaker 1: see how you sound. I hear every mistake and it's
Speaker 1: just so disgust No, I mean like the audible of
Speaker 1: your voice, like the sound sound think at whatever, I'm
Speaker 1: fine with this. You're much better now than you were
Speaker 1: back in the day. It sounded like back and then
Speaker 1: like someone's pinching your vocal cords. Yeah. I was a
Speaker 1: kid when I started. No, no, no, a lot of
Speaker 1: cigarettes and here I am just I've got to bacco voice.
Speaker 1: Is that what it is like back in the day,
Speaker 1: guys with smoke and then drink some whiskey and the
Speaker 1: broadcast booth. Oh totally, man, guys, dude. When I first
Speaker 1: got into the business, there were guys that were chained smoke.
Speaker 1: We used to have an update guy Fox that would
Speaker 1: go out and chain smoke in between his every twenty
Speaker 1: minute update thing. It was insane. That's unbelievable. You guys
Speaker 1: like asking for he was like a walking ashtray and craziness. Anyway,
Speaker 1: All right, let's see here. How about this story. There's
Speaker 1: a study out of the New York area there that
Speaker 1: because New Jersey has sports gambling, yes, they realized that
Speaker 1: the state of New Jersey is collected eight hundred thirty
Speaker 1: seven million dollars from mobile sports gamblers who live in
Speaker 1: New New York. About that. Did you wager on the
Speaker 1: Super Bowl at all? Uh? Yeah, I want I had
Speaker 1: Kansas City on that. So yeah, I'm grateful. I'm grateful today,
Speaker 1: and I really love San Francisco in that game. I'm
Speaker 1: grateful that I was not able to go to Vegas
Speaker 1: or anywhere else too. I heard a rumor that California
Speaker 1: is gonna have legalized sports gambling next year. I believe one. Supposedly.
Speaker 1: I'll believe it when it happened, I hope. So. A
Speaker 1: new survey by a bank shows that a third of
Speaker 1: Americans say gosh is their fa favorite way to pay um. Well, yeah,
Speaker 1: well a lot of these stories are going cashless. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I think that's bullshit. There's just a matter of convenience
Speaker 1: to I don't know about you, but the banks that
Speaker 1: I bank with allow me to access cash from tellers,
Speaker 1: like at a seven eleven, so there's no service fee attached.
Speaker 1: Oh that's nice than these four dollar service fee. Yeah.
Speaker 1: Like in Vegas, if you're in a casino, god forbid,
Speaker 1: you need extra cash, it's like four or five dollars
Speaker 1: per transaction withdraw some money. Oh it's a scam. Man.
Speaker 1: Better off leaving the casino and going to a bank
Speaker 1: is what you're better off? Or if you go to
Speaker 1: an arco, an arco, even if the gas is cheaper
Speaker 1: and you use your card, will charge you like thirty
Speaker 1: five or fifty cents for the transaction, which is bullshit too. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I know you don't go all right, here we go?
Speaker 1: This is uh. A large survey of one point two
Speaker 1: million Americans, researchers from Yale and Oxford Universities have shown
Speaker 1: that people who exercise are markedly happier than people who don't,
Speaker 1: even if they have listening to and I think this
Speaker 1: is bullshit. Now I don't. We can compare each other. Ah,
Speaker 1: I was morbidly OBEs. I never went to The only
Speaker 1: gym I had in my life was I had a
Speaker 1: friend named Jim. That's it. I didn't go to the
Speaker 1: gym at all, didn't work out for many, many years.
Speaker 1: I just ate terribly. I was happy, like I'm happy.
Speaker 1: I'm relatively happy now, but I'm not any more happy.
Speaker 1: And I go to the gym five days a week.
Speaker 1: But I'm not any happier now than I was when
Speaker 1: I was morbidly obese, sitting on my sofa eating Cheetos
Speaker 1: and candy bars. I I have to disagree, Like your stewarts,
Speaker 1: my experience is, I'm telling you my life experience. Well,
Speaker 1: you seem a lot more pleasant now than you did
Speaker 1: back in the day when I was at my peak
Speaker 1: peak eating, I was Joey Chestnut. You didn't know me that, Yeah,
Speaker 1: but I knew you when you were taking what your
Speaker 1: thousand steps per night during the show everything. When I
Speaker 1: used to walk around the b in the building. You're
Speaker 1: a lot more homeless people around the studios. Yeah, you're
Speaker 1: a lot more pleasant now than you were before. Probably
Speaker 1: that's probably because, like I'm I'm working with you and
Speaker 1: I've added some life into your career. And uh, that's
Speaker 1: a lie, I don't know. Yeah, don't you feel better
Speaker 1: when you put on clothes now that you're not having
Speaker 1: a labor to putting things on, to button them up,
Speaker 1: or you feel like now they're too big, and so
Speaker 1: now I still look like I look like a loser.
Speaker 1: I'm disheveled, I'm raggedy, and over here it's a it's
Speaker 1: a mess. There's something great about working off your obesity,
Speaker 1: is there not? No, it does feel good when you
Speaker 1: put clothes on that didn't fit and now they fit.
Speaker 1: That I mean that does you. You do get a
Speaker 1: sense of accomplishment. But it's still it bothers me because
Speaker 1: I'm cheap and I don't want to have to buy
Speaker 1: new clothes. Maybe I should gain a few pounds back,
Speaker 1: get a couple of extra cheeseburgers, and then the clothes
Speaker 1: will fit perfectly, and then I don't have to buy
Speaker 1: new clothes. You know, It's like that does go through
Speaker 1: my head from from time to time. All right, let's
Speaker 1: do a couple more here. What do we have? A
Speaker 1: new WHO survey finds that nearly a quarter of Americans
Speaker 1: say that working on Monday is more dreadful than the
Speaker 1: d m V or the dentist. You agree with that,
Speaker 1: I don't believe that. I believe it. I'll tell you why.
Speaker 1: Now we have a pretty good job and it's it's fun.
Speaker 1: I look forward to going back to work, and I
Speaker 1: always excited on the weekends because I come in Sunday night.
Speaker 1: In the Monday, there's always a lot of stuff. There's
Speaker 1: like a couple of days that I can can dissect
Speaker 1: and find stuff to talk about. So I always look
Speaker 1: forward to that. Um. But I get it. I understand
Speaker 1: why if you have a job that you you hate,
Speaker 1: that you despise, or like, I don't want to go
Speaker 1: back there. I don't want to deal with Everyone's in
Speaker 1: a bad mood. Everyone's a sour puss, everyone's kyrie irving
Speaker 1: on Monday. You know who wants to deal with that?
Speaker 1: So I think that's right. I agree for most people
Speaker 1: that have jobs they don't like. Why would you be
Speaker 1: excited about? But how would that be any different from
Speaker 1: a Tuesday or a Wednesday, or a Thursday or Friday. Well,
Speaker 1: because when you get further in the week, you feel
Speaker 1: like you're closer to another weekend, you know what I'm saying, Like,
Speaker 1: you know Wednesdays, I get through Wednesday at Thursday. Maybe
Speaker 1: I'll take Friday off and then the weekends too. I
Speaker 1: don't know. There's people that work. I work on the weekends,
Speaker 1: and that sucks working on the weekends. You know, come,
Speaker 1: I get take a number. I worked, and I worked
Speaker 1: ten years. Actually more than that. I worked weekend overnights
Speaker 1: for years, and I could not date anyone. No one
Speaker 1: would be around me. I stopped getting invited to parties
Speaker 1: and and all that. But I didn't mind it. Actually,
Speaker 1: I liked working weekends because I got all this free
Speaker 1: times during the week. It was kind of cool. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I mean it's a give and take. But like you said,
Speaker 1: you couldn't socialize and mingle and go out. But I
Speaker 1: don't like socializing them. Yeah, I'm okay with it. I'm
Speaker 1: perfectly l a. D m v s are absolutely horrendous.
Speaker 1: So that's why I go out to that. You've got
Speaker 1: to go out to the sticks is what you gotta do.
Speaker 1: You gotta get a reservation. It's exactly what you don't do.
Speaker 1: And when I do that. Now, have I learned My
Speaker 1: wife knows how to play the game. Oh boy, she does.
Speaker 1: How often do you wash your bath towels? A new
Speaker 1: survey says it's every blank days, every five days, No,
Speaker 1: every three days. People, I'm a once a week. Guy,
Speaker 1: I have a rotation. I have two bath towels. You
Speaker 1: have two towels, Well, yeah, I rotate them. One's the
Speaker 1: towel I used for Monday and Wednesday, and the other
Speaker 1: is like is Tuesday Thursday. You don't wash your towels
Speaker 1: every day now after usage? No, I'm I'm worried about
Speaker 1: the environment. This global warming, your climate changer. Ye, climate change.
Speaker 1: You are really fucking cheap. All right. Here's another one.
Speaker 1: More than a hundred million Americans are eligible to vote
Speaker 1: but do not actually vote. So explain that. Guess why
Speaker 1: would a hundred million people be eligible to vote and say, ah,
Speaker 1: fuck it, I'm not gonna vote. Um because they're too lazy. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I don't. I don't have the answer that I'm just
Speaker 1: you know, they just know I'm just asking the question
Speaker 1: because they feel like their vote won't count anyway. Like
Speaker 1: here in California, if you're a Republican, your vote really
Speaker 1: doesn't matter. If you're in New York, your Republican doesn't
Speaker 1: really matter. Yeah, I mean if you're in a battleground
Speaker 1: state like Michigan, and then it really matters because it
Speaker 1: could flip. Um. But I think it's also some people
Speaker 1: are are We're worried about the deep state and people
Speaker 1: getting their information, and they don't want to deal with it,
Speaker 1: and they figured like they just stay out of the system.
Speaker 1: I think there's a lot of those people. If it's
Speaker 1: the same people that also give their blood to look
Speaker 1: up their heritage to like you, I don't I'm not,
Speaker 1: I don't care. I listen. I'll be dead before you know.
Speaker 1: It's so who cares? You know, have at it your
Speaker 1: years now, it won't matter. That's true anyway. Uh did
Speaker 1: you vote when you were eighteen? Did you vote? Like
Speaker 1: when you became eligible to vote, did you start voting? Oh? Yeah,
Speaker 1: I mean my I grew up you know why, I
Speaker 1: my fun memories. You know, I'm so I us, I'm
Speaker 1: so old now that my parents my mom was more
Speaker 1: of like a Democrat, my dad more of a Republican,
Speaker 1: and so they would fight at dinner done about politics, right,
Speaker 1: And so I grew up with this as in my childhood.
Speaker 1: And but the funny thing is that they didn't like
Speaker 1: not talk to each other because they disagreed about politics. Today,
Speaker 1: you can't even be in the same room with someone
Speaker 1: who's in the other party. And people are people have
Speaker 1: have regressed so much. But so, yeah, when in my house,
Speaker 1: it was like a big deal, and both my parents
Speaker 1: tried to get me to vote for their party. When
Speaker 1: you're eighteen, your dumby, you don't know what that was
Speaker 1: going on, right, Yeah, My So my grandmother on my
Speaker 1: mom's side, uh, she was from Boston, and uh my
Speaker 1: grandfather was a police officer. He was also in the
Speaker 1: in the military too. But back in the day, I
Speaker 1: remember it because there'd be news talk shows on or
Speaker 1: the radio was on, like Paul Harvey of course, and whenever, yeah,
Speaker 1: whenever we'd go over there, my dad was with us.
Speaker 1: It was always like that political law enforcement conversation, and
Speaker 1: my grandmother would be peppering my dad or my grandfather
Speaker 1: questions and and obviously conversing. But they talked about those
Speaker 1: things back in the day, and you just you're none
Speaker 1: of the wiser until obviously you start paying attention more
Speaker 1: to it. But well, I remember too, like my we
Speaker 1: would watch like sixty Minutes, which was, you know, still on,
Speaker 1: and I remember my mom actually wrote a letter. Back
Speaker 1: in those days you had write letters, and they read
Speaker 1: it at the end of sixty minutes when they had
Speaker 1: Andy Rooney. But they had a letter segment and and
Speaker 1: they read my mom's letter on sixty minutes. I forget
Speaker 1: what it was about, but it was like a big
Speaker 1: deal in the house, you know. It was like a
Speaker 1: big deal. And my mom's letter was read on sixty minutes.
Speaker 1: I was like, wow, you know that's pretty good. Yeah, uh,
Speaker 1: don't six of sports. Well, I got a few minutes
Speaker 1: left her guest scouts. So anything you want to work
Speaker 1: in here? Yeah, this was the favorite one that I
Speaker 1: know jumped out to you. And since we were talking
Speaker 1: earlier about my car and and me being a physical specimen,
Speaker 1: how about this a test of vehicle has been tricked
Speaker 1: now to accelerating to a speed limit that as a
Speaker 1: little alarming um on your computers at least back in
Speaker 1: the day. Uh, did you have any security on your
Speaker 1: computers or would you download the security software? Oh? Yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: I would download You talk about that virus stuff to
Speaker 1: protect from viruses? Yeah? Yeah that So a research company
Speaker 1: at one of these industry has actually placed two inch
Speaker 1: long pieces of electrical tape horizontally across the three on
Speaker 1: a thirty five speed limit sign and it caused the
Speaker 1: tests of cars that have cameras attached to them to
Speaker 1: actually misread the print on the speed limit sign, so
Speaker 1: they would actually accelerate from thirty five miles per hour
Speaker 1: to eighty five miles per hour. Wow, that's that's uh,
Speaker 1: that's scary, man. And how do they Did anybody get
Speaker 1: in an accident doing this? Or there was there was
Speaker 1: a controlled situation. No, it wasn't control, but there were complaints.
Speaker 1: There was a there's a grand total of a hundred
Speaker 1: twenty seven complaints. They actually were sent to the National
Speaker 1: Highway Safety Administration claiming that some of the models were
Speaker 1: accelerating decelerating at certain spots and that was because the
Speaker 1: the speed limit signs that were posted and so um,
Speaker 1: it's caused at a grand total of a hundred and
Speaker 1: ten crashes so far since those incidents have been reported.
Speaker 1: But can you imagine that you're driving through like oh,
Speaker 1: I know speed a speed limit through a school zones
Speaker 1: twenty five, but you're in a residential area I think
Speaker 1: it's twenty five or thirty. Yeah, you do something like
Speaker 1: that and you're part of town in Malibu, then your
Speaker 1: your game over, especially around like l A where you know,
Speaker 1: now the status symbol is the Tesla. It used to
Speaker 1: be the BMW or the Mercedes or the Escalade eighties. Now,
Speaker 1: all about that Tesla. That's a sign of wealth in
Speaker 1: Los Angeles. How about this? Uh, I had a traumatic
Speaker 1: experience at your Christmas party, but this is actually a
Speaker 1: good one, picking up on all the women that are there.
Speaker 1: A Kentucky man was arrested last weekend after thorities say
Speaker 1: he attempted to rob a restaurant. Benno was a Raising
Speaker 1: Cane's restaurant when he tried to rob it, And there
Speaker 1: was an office that should be capital murder if you
Speaker 1: try to jack a raising Cane chickens through your chicken tracks.
Speaker 1: Could you imagine trying to rob something and there's an
Speaker 1: off duty police officer just hanging out in the middle
Speaker 1: of the night in that same location. It happened at
Speaker 1: ten o'clock at night in Louisville, Kentucky. Um. He obviously
Speaker 1: went to the register, demanded some cash, shut off his gun. Uh.
Speaker 1: And that's when a couple off duty police officers are
Speaker 1: actually inside um and obviously arrested him and popped him.
Speaker 1: So that's pretty good. Yeah, yeah, you gotta be care
Speaker 1: you know, you think like well, there's no police around,
Speaker 1: but sometimes the police when they're off work still I
Speaker 1: still got guns with them, and I never know. That's
Speaker 1: why you shouldn't do this kind of stupid stuff, because
Speaker 1: you never know there might be just some random off
Speaker 1: duty cop that's got that got their gun with him,
Speaker 1: and ord somebody that has a gun who's not a copy.
Speaker 1: That way, it's a bad situation. Have you ever had
Speaker 1: a gun flashed at you? No, I've not. I've not
Speaker 1: to know had that. No, you want to flash a
Speaker 1: gun at me now you No? No, I'm always just curious. Um,
Speaker 1: how about this? UM? Kenton County, Kentucky, So we're stay
Speaker 1: in Kentucky. UM. A district judge has actually ordered the
Speaker 1: Kentucky Transportation Cabinet to pay a man attorney fees uh
Speaker 1: and more in a hundred and fifty thousand dollars worth
Speaker 1: the litigation costs because he was denied a personal license
Speaker 1: plate that said I'm god, you know I I saw
Speaker 1: this story and now but this is just he's not
Speaker 1: getting the money. Rs. It's attorney feast. But yeah, so
Speaker 1: it's really just it would be better if he was
Speaker 1: getting the money. Unfortunately, he's just paying the attorneys. Yet again,
Speaker 1: who wins a lawsuit? It's always the attorneys. It's always
Speaker 1: the attorneys. They're the ones that win. And you should
Speaker 1: never call an attorney and ask if you have a case.
Speaker 1: You know why, They're gonna say yes, because they get paid.
Speaker 1: Even if you don't have a case, they're gonna get paid. Right,
Speaker 1: It's pretty damn good though. That's their ace in the
Speaker 1: hole right there. Could but could you imagine having a
Speaker 1: license plate and says I'm got on it, especially on
Speaker 1: your horrid car? What my car? Leave my car out
Speaker 1: of this. I know you're jealous in my car. I
Speaker 1: think it's kind of ugly. Steve Harvey, America's entertainer Steve
Speaker 1: Harvey walked by my car told his his security guard
Speaker 1: that I liked the color of that car. How about
Speaker 1: this here in Los Angeles? Um one of nine people
Speaker 1: charge in l A were pot for voter fraud scheme.
Speaker 1: That was not amongst the dead ben But they are
Speaker 1: actually throughout skid row. So there's different spots here in
Speaker 1: l A, like downtown Los Angeles, near Dodger Stadium, near Hollywood,
Speaker 1: near the Hollywood Bowl. They would consider so many spots
Speaker 1: obviously dangerous but skid row. This man pleaded guilty and
Speaker 1: was sentenced to a year in county jail. Um homeless
Speaker 1: people were given cash and cigarettes exchange for fraudulent signatures
Speaker 1: on ballot initiative petitions and voter registration forms just last year.
Speaker 1: Isn't that how they do it in Chicago where they
Speaker 1: have the dead people voting. I guess in l A
Speaker 1: we get the homeless people. I guess some of them
Speaker 1: are eligible to vote though, Right, but you don't have
Speaker 1: an address, have an address to vote? No, don't, well,
Speaker 1: you don't have a driver's life send Where do they
Speaker 1: send the ballot? I don't know if a peel box?
Speaker 1: I would imagine, right. Do you think the home less
Speaker 1: have peo box? No? No, I'm saying that someone's fraudulently
Speaker 1: setting this up, and they probably put some kind of
Speaker 1: peeo box that would be on there. Yeah, I don't know.
Speaker 1: All right, let's put the baby to bed, guest gun
Speaker 1: all right, if you want, that's fine. I know you
Speaker 1: showed up late. I didn't show up late. You did
Speaker 1: showed up. You showed up late. You were fifteen twenty
Speaker 1: minutes later. I have to drive far to get to
Speaker 1: where I work I don't have to roll out. I
Speaker 1: don't get to roll out of bed like you do.
Speaker 1: Hold on, let me get my little violin out here.
Speaker 1: We'll play my little violin the world's smallest violin. I
Speaker 1: haven't just for this because you are the Hindenburg. That's
Speaker 1: what you are. That's your nickname. The new nickname is
Speaker 1: the Hindenburg. Wow. Yeah, I could have gone Mount St. Helen's.
Speaker 1: I could have gone Titanic or something like that, you know. Yeah,
Speaker 1: you could have the Challenger, Yeah, Exxon Valds. I think
Speaker 1: I used that one earlier. What else? What the Chernobyl's one? Right? Yeah?
Speaker 1: It could have been a race car driver in Lamon's.
Speaker 1: I don't know, it could have been uh was that
Speaker 1: loose tons, right or whatever it's called? Second? Remember that? Yeah?
Speaker 1: That's yeah. Please can we stop with all this death talk?
Speaker 1: And I mean, listen, have a great weekend, enjoy the
Speaker 1: XFL this weekend and the Astros scandal. Will have the
Speaker 1: latest developments on that, and enjoy yourself. Hey, and to
Speaker 1: follow me on Instagram. Ben Mallard on Fox. I'm trying
Speaker 1: to get my followers up close to a thousand right now,
Speaker 1: so I need to get a few more this weekend
Speaker 1: and that would help out. And I'm planning on having
Speaker 1: another Mallard food review on Instagram this weekend, so it's
Speaker 1: very exciting. Yeah, to make sure you follow me on
Speaker 1: Instagram to Dave Gascon is the I G handle. I
Speaker 1: have plenty of glamour shots on their um exercise nutrition
Speaker 1: tips on their UM go try cooking for Ben every
Speaker 1: once in a while with green, healthy, nutritious food. I
Speaker 1: gotta go. All right, you have a great weekend. Uh.
Speaker 1: Aloha means goodbye, Sayanara of even their child by by
Speaker 1: car