1 00:00:02,720 --> 00:00:05,880 Speaker 1: Hi. This is Laura Vandercamp. I'm a mother of five, 2 00:00:06,160 --> 00:00:10,240 Speaker 1: an author, journalist, and speaker. And this is Sarah Hartunger. 3 00:00:10,480 --> 00:00:13,480 Speaker 1: I'm a mother of three, a practicing physician and blogger. 4 00:00:13,480 --> 00:00:15,800 Speaker 1: On the side, we are two working parents who love 5 00:00:15,840 --> 00:00:19,320 Speaker 1: our careers and our families. Welcome to best of both worlds. 6 00:00:19,600 --> 00:00:22,400 Speaker 1: Here we talk about how real women manage work, family, 7 00:00:22,560 --> 00:00:25,800 Speaker 1: and time for fun, from figuring out childcare to mapping 8 00:00:25,800 --> 00:00:28,360 Speaker 1: out long term career goals. We want you to get 9 00:00:28,400 --> 00:00:33,960 Speaker 1: the most out of life. Welcome to best of both worlds. 10 00:00:34,040 --> 00:00:36,760 Speaker 1: This is Laura. This is episode one hundred and ninety, 11 00:00:36,800 --> 00:00:40,440 Speaker 1: which is first airing on March twenty third of twenty 12 00:00:40,520 --> 00:00:43,520 Speaker 1: twenty one. Today we are going to be talking about toddlers. 13 00:00:44,120 --> 00:00:46,720 Speaker 1: Sarah and I have been through the toddler stage many 14 00:00:46,960 --> 00:00:49,680 Speaker 1: many times, and we were talking about this and think 15 00:00:49,720 --> 00:00:53,680 Speaker 1: it's got our vote for the toughest stage of parenthood. Now. 16 00:00:53,760 --> 00:00:57,120 Speaker 1: I'm granted my oldest child is just turning fourteen soon, 17 00:00:57,440 --> 00:01:00,040 Speaker 1: so I am willing to believe that there is the 18 00:01:00,080 --> 00:01:02,959 Speaker 1: stage when people like crash their cars and things like that, 19 00:01:03,000 --> 00:01:05,679 Speaker 1: which is all so difficult. But of the ones we 20 00:01:05,720 --> 00:01:10,840 Speaker 1: have experienced so far, toddler's definitely the roughace mobile baby, 21 00:01:11,600 --> 00:01:17,000 Speaker 1: old enough to do things, get into trouble, but zero sense, right, Sarah, Yes, 22 00:01:17,000 --> 00:01:18,880 Speaker 1: and you have an NF five, which is which is 23 00:01:18,920 --> 00:01:23,279 Speaker 1: pretty decent. I mean, I will say that newborn phase 24 00:01:23,319 --> 00:01:26,800 Speaker 1: can be very very hard if there is like excessive colic, 25 00:01:26,959 --> 00:01:29,319 Speaker 1: or you have a baby that just truly doesn't sleep. 26 00:01:29,360 --> 00:01:31,880 Speaker 1: So I get it. Some people may put their votes there, 27 00:01:32,400 --> 00:01:34,960 Speaker 1: but I'm with you. I you know, there are certain 28 00:01:35,040 --> 00:01:37,440 Speaker 1: challenges that come with a newborn stage, but somehow my 29 00:01:37,520 --> 00:01:40,400 Speaker 1: body feels more equipped to deal with it. There's like 30 00:01:40,440 --> 00:01:43,400 Speaker 1: a lot of chemicals and hormones that kind of give 31 00:01:43,440 --> 00:01:45,679 Speaker 1: that stage a little bit of a fuzzy pink aura, 32 00:01:45,760 --> 00:01:49,040 Speaker 1: at least in my memory, whereas by toddlerhood that is 33 00:01:49,080 --> 00:01:52,720 Speaker 1: all gone. Sometimes for some of us, that's the toddler 34 00:01:52,760 --> 00:01:55,400 Speaker 1: phase is accompanied with with the hormone crash of the 35 00:01:55,400 --> 00:02:00,680 Speaker 1: breastfeeding hormones kind of changing everything. And I definitely found 36 00:02:00,720 --> 00:02:02,920 Speaker 1: it the hardest. I think the very hardest for me 37 00:02:03,200 --> 00:02:07,240 Speaker 1: was having a newborn and a toddler that is like, 38 00:02:07,480 --> 00:02:09,360 Speaker 1: oh my god, Like I that's why there's so much 39 00:02:09,360 --> 00:02:13,919 Speaker 1: space between Cameron and Jennevie exactly. Yeah, well, I never 40 00:02:13,960 --> 00:02:15,920 Speaker 1: had less than two years between kids, but I do 41 00:02:16,000 --> 00:02:18,960 Speaker 1: have some two year gaps, and now looking back on 42 00:02:19,000 --> 00:02:20,360 Speaker 1: it and like, oh, yeah, there was a time when 43 00:02:20,360 --> 00:02:21,639 Speaker 1: I had a four year old to two year old 44 00:02:21,680 --> 00:02:24,200 Speaker 1: and an infant, and it's just maybe I just don't 45 00:02:24,240 --> 00:02:27,720 Speaker 1: remember that time, and that's why it's just doesn't seem 46 00:02:27,760 --> 00:02:30,760 Speaker 1: so bad in retrospect. I'm sure it was really really tough. 47 00:02:30,800 --> 00:02:32,640 Speaker 1: Of course, I was also like ten years younger, so 48 00:02:32,800 --> 00:02:35,160 Speaker 1: there's that as well. So this is gonna be our 49 00:02:35,400 --> 00:02:39,799 Speaker 1: Toddler's Survival Guide episode for those of our listeners who 50 00:02:39,840 --> 00:02:43,520 Speaker 1: are going through this stage who want to commiserate about it. 51 00:02:43,840 --> 00:02:46,600 Speaker 1: Of course, we want to say toddlers are incredibly cute, 52 00:02:46,840 --> 00:02:49,480 Speaker 1: sort of putting the phase from about you know, one 53 00:02:49,880 --> 00:02:54,720 Speaker 1: to three more or less, very cute, learning to talk, beginning, 54 00:02:54,800 --> 00:02:57,799 Speaker 1: learning to walk, sort of toddling around, heints the name, 55 00:02:58,440 --> 00:03:01,520 Speaker 1: you know, when they get a little and a hug. 56 00:03:01,639 --> 00:03:05,160 Speaker 1: And this morning Henry was literally jumping up and down 57 00:03:05,240 --> 00:03:07,480 Speaker 1: in his crib when I opened the door. It's like, wow, 58 00:03:07,639 --> 00:03:10,839 Speaker 1: nobody else does that, you know, come in to get 59 00:03:10,880 --> 00:03:13,000 Speaker 1: the older kids up for school, there's no jumping up 60 00:03:13,040 --> 00:03:16,280 Speaker 1: and down like woo. The morning that's so true. There 61 00:03:16,320 --> 00:03:18,760 Speaker 1: is a level of appreciation for life that is so 62 00:03:18,960 --> 00:03:22,080 Speaker 1: special in toddlers. I mean I've always heard people say like, well, 63 00:03:22,200 --> 00:03:24,600 Speaker 1: good thing, they're cute. Yeah, a good thing, they're very, 64 00:03:24,680 --> 00:03:29,440 Speaker 1: very cute, because otherwise basically anything that might be fun 65 00:03:30,360 --> 00:03:34,680 Speaker 1: is like not fun with toddlers. So we've got our 66 00:03:34,760 --> 00:03:36,600 Speaker 1: new house is going through renovations, but we're still going 67 00:03:36,640 --> 00:03:38,320 Speaker 1: to do some stuff in the yard while the house 68 00:03:38,360 --> 00:03:40,080 Speaker 1: is being renovated. Michael's like, well, we should put a 69 00:03:40,080 --> 00:03:42,760 Speaker 1: fire put in the backyard so we can go hang 70 00:03:42,800 --> 00:03:45,080 Speaker 1: out by the fire pit there. And I'm like, fire 71 00:03:45,120 --> 00:03:49,240 Speaker 1: pit not fun with toddlers, right, Or you think about 72 00:03:49,280 --> 00:03:53,360 Speaker 1: like picnic on the beach not fun with toddlers, dinner 73 00:03:53,400 --> 00:03:56,880 Speaker 1: at a restaurant not fun with toddlers, Like all these 74 00:03:56,920 --> 00:04:01,320 Speaker 1: days that are yeah fun with toddlers. Anything that is 75 00:04:01,440 --> 00:04:04,960 Speaker 1: fun as an adult or even as a big kid 76 00:04:05,120 --> 00:04:08,400 Speaker 1: is just like not fun with somebody between the ages 77 00:04:08,480 --> 00:04:11,560 Speaker 1: of one to three who is constantly looking for ways 78 00:04:11,600 --> 00:04:13,880 Speaker 1: to get into trouble and has to be watched constantly. 79 00:04:14,040 --> 00:04:17,880 Speaker 1: And so the more bad things you introduce risks, you 80 00:04:17,920 --> 00:04:23,200 Speaker 1: introduce fire, water, other people, random places you can run 81 00:04:23,279 --> 00:04:25,960 Speaker 1: off to it just makes it makes it tough. And 82 00:04:26,000 --> 00:04:27,800 Speaker 1: when you have more than one kid, it's like they're 83 00:04:27,839 --> 00:04:31,240 Speaker 1: not independent variables. So what, at least in my experience, 84 00:04:31,279 --> 00:04:33,120 Speaker 1: tends to happen is you do end up having to 85 00:04:33,120 --> 00:04:36,240 Speaker 1: focus like ninety eight percent of your attention and energy 86 00:04:36,279 --> 00:04:39,760 Speaker 1: on the toddler, which the other one or two or 87 00:04:39,839 --> 00:04:45,240 Speaker 1: more probably notice, and that typically probably leads to more 88 00:04:45,400 --> 00:04:48,120 Speaker 1: challenging behavior than if you didn't have ninety eight percent 89 00:04:48,160 --> 00:04:50,280 Speaker 1: of your attention focused on the toddler. And now you 90 00:04:50,320 --> 00:04:53,080 Speaker 1: have multiple things going on, some of them perhaps out 91 00:04:53,080 --> 00:04:56,120 Speaker 1: of just desire for more attention. Yeah, my gosh, it 92 00:04:56,240 --> 00:04:59,520 Speaker 1: is such a challenging phase. I'm going to go there 93 00:04:59,560 --> 00:05:02,400 Speaker 1: and say like, I wasn't that sad to see it end? 94 00:05:03,440 --> 00:05:04,919 Speaker 1: And I feel like, in a way that's sort of 95 00:05:05,000 --> 00:05:07,680 Speaker 1: unpopular because people are always very sad when their kids 96 00:05:07,720 --> 00:05:10,320 Speaker 1: grow up. And it's been kind of funny because Genevieve 97 00:05:10,400 --> 00:05:12,600 Speaker 1: actually will say that she doesn't want to grow up. 98 00:05:12,640 --> 00:05:14,480 Speaker 1: But at the same time we have very much noticed 99 00:05:14,520 --> 00:05:18,479 Speaker 1: her kind of exiting that stage. Most recently, actually, she 100 00:05:18,600 --> 00:05:21,599 Speaker 1: just transitioned to a new classroom, which at her school 101 00:05:21,680 --> 00:05:25,400 Speaker 1: is ages three to six. Yeah, so it is big, big, 102 00:05:25,480 --> 00:05:28,320 Speaker 1: little kid age at that point. Yeah, and we just 103 00:05:28,320 --> 00:05:30,039 Speaker 1: look at her and we're like, wow, you are like 104 00:05:30,760 --> 00:05:33,279 Speaker 1: you're not a toddler, like you are done, and it 105 00:05:33,360 --> 00:05:36,840 Speaker 1: makes me pretty happy. I like big kids too. I mean, 106 00:05:36,880 --> 00:05:39,240 Speaker 1: I really enjoy hanging out with my older kids. Like 107 00:05:39,279 --> 00:05:42,800 Speaker 1: sometimes in the evening, after Henry's asleep, you know, we're 108 00:05:42,839 --> 00:05:45,279 Speaker 1: hanging out in the kitchen ki people are getting their snacks. 109 00:05:45,279 --> 00:05:50,120 Speaker 1: We're just talking, having real conversations. It's like a little party, 110 00:05:50,240 --> 00:05:53,800 Speaker 1: you know. I have big people in the house, and 111 00:05:54,360 --> 00:05:57,200 Speaker 1: so that's you know, one of the challenging parts of 112 00:05:57,240 --> 00:05:59,320 Speaker 1: this is I feel like, because he gets so much attention, 113 00:05:59,680 --> 00:06:02,680 Speaker 1: I'm not getting to enjoy as much of that time 114 00:06:02,800 --> 00:06:05,480 Speaker 1: as I would. But on the other hand, you know, 115 00:06:05,960 --> 00:06:08,920 Speaker 1: it's it's also fun to go back through these stages too, 116 00:06:09,000 --> 00:06:11,640 Speaker 1: So I would say I'm probably more on team big 117 00:06:11,720 --> 00:06:16,160 Speaker 1: kid in terms of my favorite ages. But they are 118 00:06:16,200 --> 00:06:18,799 Speaker 1: cute when they're when they're little. So you can finally 119 00:06:18,880 --> 00:06:22,800 Speaker 1: leave Genevieve for like two minutes without her getting into 120 00:06:22,800 --> 00:06:26,200 Speaker 1: trouble or something else happening, Yeah, I mean, like I can. 121 00:06:26,520 --> 00:06:28,840 Speaker 1: I can pretty much shower, especially if I have, like, 122 00:06:29,400 --> 00:06:31,719 Speaker 1: you know, animals in the same room. With her, Like 123 00:06:31,880 --> 00:06:35,800 Speaker 1: the worst thing that might happen would be like she's 124 00:06:35,880 --> 00:06:39,640 Speaker 1: dumped out a toy, But we're actually, I think, unless 125 00:06:39,640 --> 00:06:41,920 Speaker 1: there's something really tempting and dumb hanging around, like a 126 00:06:41,960 --> 00:06:44,960 Speaker 1: whole bunch of sharpies, like well past the point where 127 00:06:44,960 --> 00:06:47,520 Speaker 1: I would expect that she would scribble all over something 128 00:06:47,640 --> 00:06:50,760 Speaker 1: or hurt herself or anything like that. So obviously only 129 00:06:50,760 --> 00:06:53,480 Speaker 1: short periods of time better if there's another kid in 130 00:06:53,520 --> 00:06:56,600 Speaker 1: the room. But it is an immense amount of freedom. 131 00:06:56,680 --> 00:06:59,720 Speaker 1: I mean, like I'm outings for example, like I'm taking 132 00:06:59,720 --> 00:07:03,120 Speaker 1: off three kids strawberry picking, and like I'm looking forward 133 00:07:03,120 --> 00:07:05,359 Speaker 1: to things. I mean, who knows, maybe there's also like 134 00:07:05,360 --> 00:07:08,000 Speaker 1: the pre and post pandemic aspect of that, but I'm 135 00:07:08,040 --> 00:07:10,120 Speaker 1: looking forward to things more than I did when I 136 00:07:10,200 --> 00:07:12,280 Speaker 1: knew I would be spending all of it like changing 137 00:07:12,320 --> 00:07:16,040 Speaker 1: diapers and like picking hoisting the kid and like redirecting them. 138 00:07:16,080 --> 00:07:18,200 Speaker 1: And now I feel like I can bring this more 139 00:07:18,920 --> 00:07:20,920 Speaker 1: responsive crew. And now, of course again she's three and 140 00:07:20,960 --> 00:07:24,200 Speaker 1: a half, not like seven, but there is actually a 141 00:07:24,240 --> 00:07:27,280 Speaker 1: significant difference between say two and a half and three 142 00:07:27,320 --> 00:07:32,080 Speaker 1: and a half and how much flexibility you have there definitely, well, 143 00:07:32,200 --> 00:07:34,800 Speaker 1: you know, trying not to wush time away, but yeah, 144 00:07:34,840 --> 00:07:42,360 Speaker 1: we're ten months is a rough China and we're having 145 00:07:42,360 --> 00:07:44,880 Speaker 1: a rough time that he's not sleeping all that well either, 146 00:07:45,000 --> 00:07:47,280 Speaker 1: which is adding to it. But so we have some 147 00:07:47,760 --> 00:07:50,840 Speaker 1: survival tips so we can go back and forth on those. 148 00:07:51,240 --> 00:07:54,640 Speaker 1: One thing we've been doing is creating some safe zones 149 00:07:54,760 --> 00:07:56,560 Speaker 1: at home, and people are like, well, why didn't you 150 00:07:56,560 --> 00:07:58,760 Speaker 1: baby proof the whole house, Like you try that with 151 00:07:58,800 --> 00:08:03,320 Speaker 1: four other children who are have their own things, who 152 00:08:03,680 --> 00:08:06,840 Speaker 1: are going to move their own things, Like, there's just 153 00:08:07,000 --> 00:08:10,880 Speaker 1: no good way to do everything. We have to choose 154 00:08:10,920 --> 00:08:14,040 Speaker 1: the spots that are going to be safe for the 155 00:08:14,080 --> 00:08:18,080 Speaker 1: baby and then kind of protect those. So but what 156 00:08:18,120 --> 00:08:20,400 Speaker 1: we do, you know, we bought a gate for the 157 00:08:20,440 --> 00:08:23,720 Speaker 1: outside porch. Currently we have a big piece of furniture 158 00:08:23,800 --> 00:08:27,080 Speaker 1: put against the opening to the stairs, but we bought 159 00:08:27,080 --> 00:08:29,080 Speaker 1: a gate for that so you can hang out on 160 00:08:29,120 --> 00:08:30,920 Speaker 1: the back porch, he can have a toy or two 161 00:08:30,920 --> 00:08:33,600 Speaker 1: on the back porch, the adult watching him can sit 162 00:08:33,640 --> 00:08:35,920 Speaker 1: on the couch and not have to hop up every 163 00:08:35,960 --> 00:08:38,640 Speaker 1: two seconds to keep him from wandering down the stairs. 164 00:08:38,679 --> 00:08:42,360 Speaker 1: So obviously that's one. We cleaned out one of the 165 00:08:42,440 --> 00:08:45,360 Speaker 1: rooms in the basement. We had been calling it the 166 00:08:45,440 --> 00:08:47,280 Speaker 1: Lego room. It was also a room where kids had 167 00:08:47,280 --> 00:08:49,600 Speaker 1: been doing virtual learning, but they're in other places now. 168 00:08:50,240 --> 00:08:53,080 Speaker 1: It only has baby toys and it has a door 169 00:08:53,080 --> 00:08:55,920 Speaker 1: that shuts, so that is somewhere that you can go sit. 170 00:08:56,760 --> 00:08:59,640 Speaker 1: You can have as the supervising adult, maybe a beverage 171 00:08:59,640 --> 00:09:01,800 Speaker 1: appropriate to the time of day, if that's coffee in 172 00:09:01,800 --> 00:09:04,680 Speaker 1: the morning, your craft beer in the evening or whatever. 173 00:09:04,760 --> 00:09:09,280 Speaker 1: But you can relax while he plays in there. Sometimes 174 00:09:09,320 --> 00:09:11,440 Speaker 1: I can convince another kid to come in and play 175 00:09:11,480 --> 00:09:13,080 Speaker 1: with him, and if it's one of the older three kids, 176 00:09:13,080 --> 00:09:16,520 Speaker 1: that's relaxing. If it's another child, it's not relaxing. But 177 00:09:16,559 --> 00:09:20,280 Speaker 1: that's a different matter. What are your favorite toddler toys? 178 00:09:20,480 --> 00:09:25,000 Speaker 1: What did you guys like? Yeah, well, first, I wholeheartedly agree. 179 00:09:25,000 --> 00:09:26,760 Speaker 1: I just want to say, like that area where you 180 00:09:26,760 --> 00:09:29,160 Speaker 1: can corral the kids, even if it's not the whole house, 181 00:09:29,160 --> 00:09:31,000 Speaker 1: which same thing, where there's going to be tiny toys 182 00:09:31,040 --> 00:09:32,600 Speaker 1: all over the place. If they're still in that mouth 183 00:09:32,800 --> 00:09:35,240 Speaker 1: putting in the mouth stage, then like can't mix the 184 00:09:35,280 --> 00:09:37,080 Speaker 1: big kids toys with a little But even if it's 185 00:09:37,120 --> 00:09:39,320 Speaker 1: just their room, Like if you don't have any other 186 00:09:39,360 --> 00:09:41,920 Speaker 1: place but the room with their crib in it if 187 00:09:41,920 --> 00:09:43,920 Speaker 1: that can become like toddler land, so that you could 188 00:09:43,920 --> 00:09:45,600 Speaker 1: close the door and chill, Like, if you don't have 189 00:09:45,679 --> 00:09:48,560 Speaker 1: tons of space, you can still make this work, and 190 00:09:48,600 --> 00:09:50,600 Speaker 1: that might be one way of doing it where you're like, 191 00:09:50,640 --> 00:09:52,040 Speaker 1: you know, all the fun stuff is in their room 192 00:09:52,080 --> 00:09:53,800 Speaker 1: and so you can sit there and get a comfy 193 00:09:53,840 --> 00:09:56,680 Speaker 1: chair and hang out. Our play kitchen was a big 194 00:09:56,760 --> 00:09:59,360 Speaker 1: hit in the toddler phase. We had a set of 195 00:09:59,360 --> 00:10:02,640 Speaker 1: like Ikia vegetables that went through like all three kids, 196 00:10:02,840 --> 00:10:04,120 Speaker 1: and I think we got rid of the play kitchen 197 00:10:04,120 --> 00:10:05,840 Speaker 1: about six months ago. So it really does fit in 198 00:10:05,920 --> 00:10:09,960 Speaker 1: right with the toddler stage. And then of course the 199 00:10:10,080 --> 00:10:13,079 Speaker 1: old perennials, duplos and magnetiles. I mean, don't have a 200 00:10:13,160 --> 00:10:15,320 Speaker 1: question with the magnetiles, because you have said this so 201 00:10:15,360 --> 00:10:17,520 Speaker 1: many times that yes, I saw that it can. It's 202 00:10:17,559 --> 00:10:20,000 Speaker 1: not for kids under three, so I don't know why 203 00:10:20,040 --> 00:10:21,839 Speaker 1: the package says that. I think it's because of well, 204 00:10:21,880 --> 00:10:24,359 Speaker 1: oh god, now someone's going to die and sue this podcast. 205 00:10:24,679 --> 00:10:27,800 Speaker 1: Hopefully not. I've never had a magnet. I think it's 206 00:10:27,800 --> 00:10:30,240 Speaker 1: on the theoretical guys that like a magnet could fall 207 00:10:30,280 --> 00:10:32,360 Speaker 1: out and the child would eat the magnet. That would 208 00:10:32,360 --> 00:10:35,080 Speaker 1: be the only reason, because it is very dangerous if 209 00:10:35,080 --> 00:10:38,880 Speaker 1: a child eats, particularly two magnets. One magnet is usually okay. 210 00:10:38,920 --> 00:10:42,079 Speaker 1: Two magnets can cause like necrosis the GI tract and 211 00:10:42,120 --> 00:10:46,199 Speaker 1: perfect it's horrible. So anyway, maybe that's why that said. 212 00:10:46,480 --> 00:10:49,080 Speaker 1: Have never in all my many years of playing with them. 213 00:10:49,120 --> 00:10:51,920 Speaker 1: I think if you're watching your child, there's nothing inherently 214 00:10:52,040 --> 00:10:55,160 Speaker 1: They're just pieces of plastic, and I've found that kids 215 00:10:55,160 --> 00:10:58,240 Speaker 1: as young as you know, fifteen months eighteen months can 216 00:10:58,320 --> 00:11:00,520 Speaker 1: start playing with them and put them together, and if 217 00:11:00,520 --> 00:11:02,600 Speaker 1: you have bigger kids, it is a toy that works 218 00:11:02,600 --> 00:11:04,920 Speaker 1: across multiple ages, so that's very interesting. I don't think 219 00:11:04,960 --> 00:11:06,920 Speaker 1: I realized that the package said that, and I definitely 220 00:11:07,480 --> 00:11:10,000 Speaker 1: use that my kids played with them prior. Yeah, dioty, 221 00:11:10,000 --> 00:11:11,880 Speaker 1: it's just something you'd want to make sure you had 222 00:11:11,960 --> 00:11:14,480 Speaker 1: either either new ones or ones that you would only 223 00:11:14,520 --> 00:11:16,080 Speaker 1: had like so you knew that they were in good 224 00:11:16,120 --> 00:11:19,720 Speaker 1: condition supervision, which you're generally good shops with your toddler anyway, 225 00:11:19,880 --> 00:11:22,080 Speaker 1: like you would you would notice if they were, And yes, 226 00:11:22,120 --> 00:11:24,440 Speaker 1: I agree, probably wouldn't want to buy like a decrepit 227 00:11:24,640 --> 00:11:26,480 Speaker 1: old set with cracks in it or something like that, 228 00:11:26,600 --> 00:11:29,079 Speaker 1: but they do hold up quite well. So magneto and 229 00:11:29,080 --> 00:11:33,000 Speaker 1: then duplows, I mean, kids can, little toddlers can, even 230 00:11:33,000 --> 00:11:35,160 Speaker 1: if they're obviously they're not going to build some elaborate thing, 231 00:11:35,200 --> 00:11:38,120 Speaker 1: but just playing with the different color pieces and putting 232 00:11:38,160 --> 00:11:39,720 Speaker 1: them together, and they're not going to break anything. As 233 00:11:39,760 --> 00:11:41,920 Speaker 1: long as you're not stepping on them. They're pretty darn harmless, 234 00:11:41,960 --> 00:11:44,160 Speaker 1: so I don't think you can go wrong. We have 235 00:11:44,240 --> 00:11:47,320 Speaker 1: a big bin of duplos that are in the baby 236 00:11:47,400 --> 00:11:50,720 Speaker 1: room now, so that's something that Henry can play with, 237 00:11:50,760 --> 00:11:52,440 Speaker 1: and then when one of the older kids is in 238 00:11:52,480 --> 00:11:54,959 Speaker 1: there with him, that's something that they will often play 239 00:11:55,000 --> 00:11:56,960 Speaker 1: with as well. It's like something to do, it's something 240 00:11:57,000 --> 00:12:01,200 Speaker 1: to do for them. And then watercolors, So that sounds 241 00:12:01,240 --> 00:12:03,720 Speaker 1: super annoying and kind of like why would you like 242 00:12:03,800 --> 00:12:07,760 Speaker 1: let your but actually water colors are completely water soluble, 243 00:12:07,800 --> 00:12:09,520 Speaker 1: so they really can't make that much of a mess. 244 00:12:09,760 --> 00:12:12,080 Speaker 1: They're very cheap. They're like ninety nine cents for those 245 00:12:12,120 --> 00:12:13,880 Speaker 1: little like paint things that they're at there at the 246 00:12:13,880 --> 00:12:16,760 Speaker 1: grocery stores. And I found the Genevieve as young as 247 00:12:16,800 --> 00:12:19,280 Speaker 1: like two would really like doing that while the other 248 00:12:19,360 --> 00:12:21,880 Speaker 1: kids and compared to like crayons, which you can like. 249 00:12:22,240 --> 00:12:24,080 Speaker 1: She would always draw on everything and I had to 250 00:12:24,120 --> 00:12:25,880 Speaker 1: wipe it off with like magic erasures and stuff, and 251 00:12:25,920 --> 00:12:28,000 Speaker 1: it was a pain. But the water colors just wipe 252 00:12:28,040 --> 00:12:31,520 Speaker 1: off of everything. So it's actually, even though it seems 253 00:12:31,559 --> 00:12:35,640 Speaker 1: kind of more precious, it's actually an easier cleanup. Some 254 00:12:35,640 --> 00:12:38,000 Speaker 1: people love those color Wonder markers too as well, but 255 00:12:38,000 --> 00:12:39,520 Speaker 1: then you have to have a special paper. And always 256 00:12:39,520 --> 00:12:41,400 Speaker 1: felt like my kids would write like one line on 257 00:12:41,440 --> 00:12:44,320 Speaker 1: each page and go through like anyway. And then chalk, 258 00:12:44,480 --> 00:12:46,600 Speaker 1: of course is great as long as they're not putting 259 00:12:46,600 --> 00:12:49,320 Speaker 1: it in their mouth. And then anything with bubbles. Bubbles 260 00:12:49,320 --> 00:12:51,200 Speaker 1: are always fun. All right, Well, let's take a quick 261 00:12:51,200 --> 00:13:06,719 Speaker 1: break and we will read write back with more on toddlers. Well, 262 00:13:06,760 --> 00:13:10,680 Speaker 1: we are back talking about our Toddler's Survival Guide in 263 00:13:10,800 --> 00:13:15,200 Speaker 1: terms of planning our days. So I know that there's 264 00:13:15,240 --> 00:13:17,640 Speaker 1: that nap time transition. When did your kids go from 265 00:13:17,720 --> 00:13:20,440 Speaker 1: two naps to one? We are still not at one. 266 00:13:20,720 --> 00:13:23,960 Speaker 1: We're in that lovely one and a half nap stage. 267 00:13:24,760 --> 00:13:27,080 Speaker 1: We were always on the early side. And I actually 268 00:13:27,840 --> 00:13:29,880 Speaker 1: I listened to a podcast or I follow up on 269 00:13:29,920 --> 00:13:32,200 Speaker 1: Instagram I named Pete's doc talk and she had a 270 00:13:32,240 --> 00:13:34,920 Speaker 1: poll recently and I think it was twenty nine percent 271 00:13:35,160 --> 00:13:38,520 Speaker 1: by thirteen months had transitioned their kid to one nap, 272 00:13:38,520 --> 00:13:39,719 Speaker 1: and I was like, huh, I thought it would have 273 00:13:39,760 --> 00:13:42,600 Speaker 1: been higher than that. But I always found that we 274 00:13:42,800 --> 00:13:45,640 Speaker 1: really started to have bad bedtime struggles when there was 275 00:13:45,679 --> 00:13:49,199 Speaker 1: two naps at that age, and or they just didn't 276 00:13:49,240 --> 00:13:50,840 Speaker 1: want to take the second nap, so it was like 277 00:13:50,920 --> 00:13:53,199 Speaker 1: more trouble than it was worth. And so I always 278 00:13:53,240 --> 00:13:55,280 Speaker 1: tended to transition them right around a year, but I 279 00:13:55,280 --> 00:13:57,280 Speaker 1: know a lot of kids take longer, Like my niece 280 00:13:57,320 --> 00:14:00,360 Speaker 1: is definitely still well, she's like in that transition. Days 281 00:14:00,360 --> 00:14:02,800 Speaker 1: she'll take that solid second and other days she's so 282 00:14:02,880 --> 00:14:04,600 Speaker 1: tired that she goes to bed at like six thirty. 283 00:14:04,920 --> 00:14:07,840 Speaker 1: So it's interesting. Yeah, well, the problem is there's not 284 00:14:07,920 --> 00:14:10,280 Speaker 1: too much space between that second nap and the early 285 00:14:10,320 --> 00:14:14,480 Speaker 1: bedtime to sort of you pick your poison with the 286 00:14:14,679 --> 00:14:16,400 Speaker 1: later half of the day. Yeah, you know, if you 287 00:14:16,440 --> 00:14:18,079 Speaker 1: take a late nap, they're not going to do the 288 00:14:18,480 --> 00:14:20,880 Speaker 1: early bed time. But the question is like can they 289 00:14:21,000 --> 00:14:23,520 Speaker 1: make it to the early bedtime without utter meltdowns? And 290 00:14:23,520 --> 00:14:25,920 Speaker 1: I feel like if they can, then that's the better option. 291 00:14:25,960 --> 00:14:28,200 Speaker 1: Because then you'll end up with a more reliable first nap, 292 00:14:28,200 --> 00:14:30,400 Speaker 1: and it's just easier to plan around one nap. So 293 00:14:30,480 --> 00:14:32,880 Speaker 1: I probably like pushed it as soon as I felt 294 00:14:32,880 --> 00:14:34,760 Speaker 1: like my kids could like make it to seven o'clock 295 00:14:34,840 --> 00:14:37,600 Speaker 1: or so. We tried to go down to one nap, 296 00:14:38,200 --> 00:14:40,160 Speaker 1: especially after the first kid, because I have another kid 297 00:14:40,200 --> 00:14:42,400 Speaker 1: to contest. The two naps is really hard to make, 298 00:14:42,440 --> 00:14:47,000 Speaker 1: I mean, especially like so weekends, it always coincides with 299 00:14:47,080 --> 00:14:49,720 Speaker 1: kid activities in the morning, and kid activities in the 300 00:14:49,760 --> 00:14:53,040 Speaker 1: afternoon is just and plus it chops up the day 301 00:14:53,080 --> 00:14:55,120 Speaker 1: a lot. So I'm I'm hoping we'll be i mean 302 00:14:55,120 --> 00:14:57,080 Speaker 1: maybe even with it. And well this is erring in 303 00:14:57,120 --> 00:15:00,360 Speaker 1: a week, but within a month or so, we should 304 00:15:00,400 --> 00:15:03,000 Speaker 1: be down to one nap. And the one nap is 305 00:15:03,040 --> 00:15:05,280 Speaker 1: easier than to build a day around because you just 306 00:15:05,680 --> 00:15:08,680 Speaker 1: figure that the afternoon is downtime, which is often good 307 00:15:08,680 --> 00:15:10,680 Speaker 1: for other kids too, although then it's going to make 308 00:15:10,760 --> 00:15:14,119 Speaker 1: it harder for us to take family outings. So mornings, 309 00:15:14,440 --> 00:15:18,760 Speaker 1: if possible, go somewhere, get out, do something. If you're 310 00:15:18,800 --> 00:15:20,880 Speaker 1: in the two nap stage, you plan it in the middle, 311 00:15:21,360 --> 00:15:26,480 Speaker 1: like for early afternoon, but having some change of scenery 312 00:15:26,920 --> 00:15:31,560 Speaker 1: because then you can push those safe rooms to limited 313 00:15:31,640 --> 00:15:33,680 Speaker 1: times of the day as opposed to try to fill 314 00:15:34,040 --> 00:15:36,640 Speaker 1: like all morning in there, which is going to get 315 00:15:36,640 --> 00:15:42,120 Speaker 1: old fast. You know. Then figuring out a post nap 316 00:15:42,200 --> 00:15:46,080 Speaker 1: activity is also I think very helpful in terms of 317 00:15:46,680 --> 00:15:50,360 Speaker 1: getting through the day kind of mentally. It can be 318 00:15:50,400 --> 00:15:54,160 Speaker 1: a walk. A walk is usually a perfectly fine post 319 00:15:54,280 --> 00:15:58,040 Speaker 1: nap activity, even in I mean normal times, people are like, well, 320 00:15:58,160 --> 00:16:00,800 Speaker 1: you could go to like a museum or a playplace, 321 00:16:00,800 --> 00:16:03,440 Speaker 1: there's something, but often that is closed four thirty five, 322 00:16:03,600 --> 00:16:05,840 Speaker 1: and if your nap is ending at three thirty, that 323 00:16:05,960 --> 00:16:09,440 Speaker 1: sort of it limits the available space for doing something 324 00:16:09,520 --> 00:16:11,040 Speaker 1: like that. Though you might get forty five minutes and 325 00:16:11,040 --> 00:16:13,360 Speaker 1: that could be fun too. But you know, even just 326 00:16:13,400 --> 00:16:15,960 Speaker 1: a nap or a playground trip, but something that you 327 00:16:16,040 --> 00:16:17,960 Speaker 1: have in mind to motivate you to get out of 328 00:16:18,000 --> 00:16:21,760 Speaker 1: the house after the nap can also then keep you 329 00:16:21,800 --> 00:16:25,840 Speaker 1: from getting into that kind of space before dinner and 330 00:16:26,200 --> 00:16:29,760 Speaker 1: bed where things are just melting melting down, no, one 331 00:16:29,840 --> 00:16:33,520 Speaker 1: hundred percent, and you know, someday post pandemic times, I 332 00:16:33,560 --> 00:16:36,200 Speaker 1: actually think that last hour can be a good time 333 00:16:36,360 --> 00:16:39,200 Speaker 1: to like we used to hit up this little kid's 334 00:16:39,280 --> 00:16:41,280 Speaker 1: art museum at the end of the day because it 335 00:16:41,320 --> 00:16:43,440 Speaker 1: was usually emptying out, but we had a membership and 336 00:16:43,440 --> 00:16:45,440 Speaker 1: lived close by, so it was like, Eh, no big deal, 337 00:16:45,800 --> 00:16:47,400 Speaker 1: spend four to five there and then it's like, oh, 338 00:16:47,440 --> 00:16:50,800 Speaker 1: it's dinner time, and like we did something. And so obviously, again, 339 00:16:51,040 --> 00:16:53,520 Speaker 1: you know, your mileage may vary as the pandemic winds 340 00:16:53,520 --> 00:16:55,760 Speaker 1: itself down. We're hoping this episode is going to be 341 00:16:55,960 --> 00:16:59,640 Speaker 1: perennial favorite. So I'm sure we'll be listening in twenty 342 00:16:59,640 --> 00:17:02,600 Speaker 1: twenty two and everyone will be going everywhere. Again, we 343 00:17:02,680 --> 00:17:05,560 Speaker 1: have not taken Henry to much where he would be 344 00:17:05,640 --> 00:17:08,720 Speaker 1: then out of the stroller, and there are places that 345 00:17:08,760 --> 00:17:12,639 Speaker 1: are open, like there are no restrictions on things like 346 00:17:12,680 --> 00:17:17,800 Speaker 1: play places. But I just I know he'll get upper 347 00:17:17,840 --> 00:17:21,520 Speaker 1: respiratory infection from the dirty toys and then we'll worry 348 00:17:21,560 --> 00:17:24,480 Speaker 1: it's COVID, and so it just seems like not worth 349 00:17:24,520 --> 00:17:26,879 Speaker 1: it at this point. I guess it's so much higher 350 00:17:26,920 --> 00:17:29,520 Speaker 1: stakes than before for your kid to end up with 351 00:17:29,560 --> 00:17:31,880 Speaker 1: a running nose. That's very true. On the other hand, 352 00:17:31,960 --> 00:17:35,000 Speaker 1: I mean, knock on wood, but he has never had 353 00:17:35,160 --> 00:17:41,600 Speaker 1: a running nose. This is the craziness of pandemic life, 354 00:17:41,880 --> 00:17:44,520 Speaker 1: is it turns out that not being around other people 355 00:17:44,520 --> 00:17:47,480 Speaker 1: and wearing masks all the time really does prevent the 356 00:17:47,520 --> 00:17:52,359 Speaker 1: spread of a lot of germs. I've been pleasantly surprised 357 00:17:52,359 --> 00:17:55,479 Speaker 1: at the limited number of illnesses he has gotten in 358 00:17:55,520 --> 00:17:58,720 Speaker 1: his first fifteen months of life versus any of my 359 00:17:58,960 --> 00:18:03,879 Speaker 1: other children, who are apparently just bathed in microbes from birth. So, 360 00:18:04,400 --> 00:18:07,800 Speaker 1: in terms of nap time, so we are structuring the 361 00:18:07,880 --> 00:18:10,720 Speaker 1: day of We have our morning outing, we have our nap, 362 00:18:11,000 --> 00:18:15,600 Speaker 1: we have our afternoon something post nap. Don't do chores 363 00:18:15,680 --> 00:18:17,919 Speaker 1: during nap time. I mean, I know people do, but 364 00:18:18,040 --> 00:18:20,840 Speaker 1: don't do it during the first forty five minutes, is 365 00:18:20,840 --> 00:18:24,560 Speaker 1: what I would say, because otherwise what happens is you're like, well, 366 00:18:24,560 --> 00:18:26,080 Speaker 1: I have to clean the kitchen, and then all the 367 00:18:26,119 --> 00:18:28,120 Speaker 1: toys the toddler took out or all over the place, 368 00:18:28,240 --> 00:18:29,879 Speaker 1: let me clean those up. And the next thing you know, 369 00:18:29,960 --> 00:18:32,359 Speaker 1: you're like an hour and thirty minutes into nap and 370 00:18:32,400 --> 00:18:35,359 Speaker 1: you only might get twenty minutes before the kid is up, 371 00:18:35,359 --> 00:18:38,240 Speaker 1: and then you feel like you have absolutely no fun whatsoever. 372 00:18:39,200 --> 00:18:42,720 Speaker 1: So put your fun first. Do whatever you are going 373 00:18:42,760 --> 00:18:45,760 Speaker 1: to do, whether it's reading a book or a hobby 374 00:18:45,880 --> 00:18:48,240 Speaker 1: or your own nap or whatever it is you need 375 00:18:48,280 --> 00:18:50,560 Speaker 1: to do for that first forty five minutes to an hour, 376 00:18:50,600 --> 00:18:52,639 Speaker 1: so you know you will get it, and then you 377 00:18:52,680 --> 00:18:55,119 Speaker 1: can go fold the laundry or clean the kitchen, or 378 00:18:55,600 --> 00:18:57,720 Speaker 1: catch up on work or whatever you need to do 379 00:18:57,840 --> 00:19:01,080 Speaker 1: in that second hour that might be a little bit 380 00:19:01,119 --> 00:19:04,160 Speaker 1: more variable about how much of it you get. Maybe 381 00:19:04,160 --> 00:19:07,439 Speaker 1: you'll get more time. That's always great, But that way, 382 00:19:07,680 --> 00:19:11,480 Speaker 1: for sure the relaxation will happen and you will make 383 00:19:11,520 --> 00:19:14,520 Speaker 1: the chores fit more into whatever available space there is 384 00:19:14,560 --> 00:19:17,720 Speaker 1: instead of having them expand to consume all of nap 385 00:19:18,320 --> 00:19:21,960 Speaker 1: one hundred percent. Nap was like sacred time for me. 386 00:19:22,160 --> 00:19:25,800 Speaker 1: I always used to take my own nap, preferably reading 387 00:19:25,800 --> 00:19:28,479 Speaker 1: a book in bed. There was just something kind of like, Okay, 388 00:19:28,520 --> 00:19:30,439 Speaker 1: I've gotten to this point of my day. Now it 389 00:19:30,560 --> 00:19:33,440 Speaker 1: is my chance. And I was kind of sad when 390 00:19:33,480 --> 00:19:34,960 Speaker 1: it stopped, But then I was also kind of like, 391 00:19:35,000 --> 00:19:37,400 Speaker 1: oh freedom. And again the exit of the nap kind 392 00:19:37,440 --> 00:19:41,040 Speaker 1: of coincides with the exit of some of that toddler need, 393 00:19:41,320 --> 00:19:44,240 Speaker 1: so it actually does work out. Although can you have 394 00:19:44,320 --> 00:19:47,439 Speaker 1: you transitioned to a good quiet time or does that 395 00:19:47,520 --> 00:19:53,240 Speaker 1: not happen? Well, yes, because every kid including Genevieve now 396 00:19:53,240 --> 00:19:56,760 Speaker 1: knows how to play iPad and will, if allowed to, 397 00:19:57,000 --> 00:20:01,800 Speaker 1: would quietly do that, probably for like six weeks, without eating, drinking, 398 00:20:01,880 --> 00:20:05,679 Speaker 1: bathing or anything. So, you know, instead it becomes brilliant. 399 00:20:05,720 --> 00:20:09,680 Speaker 1: I like exactly. So instead it becomes and I've said 400 00:20:09,680 --> 00:20:13,000 Speaker 1: this before, we kind of set a time start, time 401 00:20:13,040 --> 00:20:15,919 Speaker 1: limit on screen time so that our weekends are not dominated. 402 00:20:16,000 --> 00:20:18,320 Speaker 1: We don't really allow it on the week days, at 403 00:20:18,400 --> 00:20:20,639 Speaker 1: least certainly not like the iPad stuff, because they have 404 00:20:20,680 --> 00:20:22,399 Speaker 1: other stuff to do and they have homework, et cetera. 405 00:20:22,760 --> 00:20:24,920 Speaker 1: And on the weekends they really don't get any until 406 00:20:24,960 --> 00:20:27,920 Speaker 1: around one thirty or two, which used to be nap time. 407 00:20:28,320 --> 00:20:31,040 Speaker 1: And then I can usually reliably count on an hour 408 00:20:31,160 --> 00:20:33,800 Speaker 1: or a couple of hours where everyone's pretty darn happy 409 00:20:34,200 --> 00:20:38,280 Speaker 1: without me. Again, who knows? Am I doing something bad 410 00:20:38,320 --> 00:20:41,200 Speaker 1: to their brains? I don't think so in that limited amount, 411 00:20:41,600 --> 00:20:43,960 Speaker 1: especially if we're good about turning them off and going 412 00:20:44,040 --> 00:20:46,240 Speaker 1: outside and doing something afterwards, and if we spent the 413 00:20:46,280 --> 00:20:51,160 Speaker 1: morning being active. I mean, it's fun. I enjoyed playing 414 00:20:51,200 --> 00:20:54,879 Speaker 1: computer games too and Nintendo as a child, and I 415 00:20:54,920 --> 00:20:57,840 Speaker 1: think that when as long as people are conscious about it, 416 00:20:57,640 --> 00:21:00,680 Speaker 1: it can be a great way of having automatic quiet 417 00:21:01,160 --> 00:21:03,600 Speaker 1: into your day. Now, I would love to also teach 418 00:21:03,640 --> 00:21:08,000 Speaker 1: my kids to enjoy things quiet off of screens, So 419 00:21:08,040 --> 00:21:10,840 Speaker 1: I guess that would be something to work on in addition. 420 00:21:11,440 --> 00:21:13,320 Speaker 1: But you know, don't worry about one thing at a time. 421 00:21:14,200 --> 00:21:15,760 Speaker 1: You don't have to justify as me. I'm like, that 422 00:21:15,800 --> 00:21:17,520 Speaker 1: sounds great. I would like to love it. And at 423 00:21:17,600 --> 00:21:19,400 Speaker 1: least one of my kids really does enjoy like reading 424 00:21:19,440 --> 00:21:21,440 Speaker 1: in bed because we don't allow screens at that time. 425 00:21:21,520 --> 00:21:24,760 Speaker 1: So I think, you know, once sleep patterns change, then 426 00:21:24,840 --> 00:21:27,439 Speaker 1: maybe that's night time would be like the more natural 427 00:21:27,480 --> 00:21:29,720 Speaker 1: reading time for my bigger kids. Yeah, that's when my 428 00:21:29,760 --> 00:21:33,520 Speaker 1: big kids read too, and they are I've found this 429 00:21:33,600 --> 00:21:35,760 Speaker 1: very much. They are more inclined to read if they 430 00:21:35,760 --> 00:21:37,840 Speaker 1: have books they are into, and so that's just something 431 00:21:37,880 --> 00:21:41,600 Speaker 1: we have to be very good about aggressively pursuing, like 432 00:21:41,680 --> 00:21:43,640 Speaker 1: are there always books in the house that they want 433 00:21:43,640 --> 00:21:45,640 Speaker 1: to read? Because if there aren't, then of course they're 434 00:21:45,680 --> 00:21:47,880 Speaker 1: going to want to do screens and I can take 435 00:21:47,880 --> 00:21:51,840 Speaker 1: them away and I have at night. Obviously there was 436 00:21:52,080 --> 00:21:55,280 Speaker 1: there's an instance of subterfuge I found out the other night, 437 00:21:55,440 --> 00:22:00,840 Speaker 1: so I hide the phones they were located well, they 438 00:22:00,880 --> 00:22:04,320 Speaker 1: thought I was asleep. You're like, I'm gonna use fine 439 00:22:04,359 --> 00:22:11,440 Speaker 1: my eyes, it's over. It was I never figured out 440 00:22:11,560 --> 00:22:14,360 Speaker 1: like who, I mean, I know who went to get them, 441 00:22:14,359 --> 00:22:16,000 Speaker 1: but I don't know if that person was acting totally 442 00:22:16,080 --> 00:22:18,439 Speaker 1: under their own agency or was egged on by others. 443 00:22:18,880 --> 00:22:22,280 Speaker 1: So it's all an interesting thing. But anyway, I feel 444 00:22:22,320 --> 00:22:24,640 Speaker 1: like that is the most common thing ever though. Yes, 445 00:22:24,760 --> 00:22:26,640 Speaker 1: Like that's like every kid tries that at least once. 446 00:22:26,720 --> 00:22:33,119 Speaker 1: At least once they thought I was asleep, which which, 447 00:22:33,119 --> 00:22:35,080 Speaker 1: So now do you sleep with the phones under your phone? 448 00:22:35,080 --> 00:22:37,520 Speaker 1: Because I don't want the phones dinging and waking me up? Right, Like, 449 00:22:37,560 --> 00:22:39,199 Speaker 1: this is the process, so you don't want to like 450 00:22:39,240 --> 00:22:43,280 Speaker 1: cause the brain humory. Therefore, Yeah, well, speaking of sleep, 451 00:22:43,320 --> 00:22:45,280 Speaker 1: I mean, so here's the other thing is it's really 452 00:22:45,320 --> 00:22:49,640 Speaker 1: important to prioritize sleep as an adult during this stage 453 00:22:49,640 --> 00:22:53,359 Speaker 1: as a primary caregiver for a toddler, because you know, 454 00:22:53,440 --> 00:22:55,800 Speaker 1: if you're waking up early in the morning, as many 455 00:22:55,880 --> 00:22:57,800 Speaker 1: toddlers do, I mean, this is reality. You go to 456 00:22:57,840 --> 00:22:59,640 Speaker 1: bed at seven thirty and that's when you're tired. You're 457 00:22:59,680 --> 00:23:02,800 Speaker 1: gonna be up at like by six in the morning. 458 00:23:02,840 --> 00:23:06,840 Speaker 1: I mean, that's just the way sleep works, and so 459 00:23:07,000 --> 00:23:09,919 Speaker 1: if you, as an adult, are not naturally up and 460 00:23:09,960 --> 00:23:13,520 Speaker 1: excited about being up at six am, then you're gonna 461 00:23:13,560 --> 00:23:16,959 Speaker 1: have to shift your sleep patterns to take that into account. 462 00:23:17,040 --> 00:23:19,320 Speaker 1: And this has been tough for me, because again, I 463 00:23:19,320 --> 00:23:21,359 Speaker 1: do want to stay up. I want to chat with Michael, 464 00:23:21,359 --> 00:23:23,080 Speaker 1: I want to read, I want to hang out with 465 00:23:23,119 --> 00:23:24,639 Speaker 1: my big kids, who of course are not going to 466 00:23:24,680 --> 00:23:26,320 Speaker 1: go to bed at eight o'clock, like this is not 467 00:23:26,960 --> 00:23:29,359 Speaker 1: something that's even going to happen for their stage, and 468 00:23:29,400 --> 00:23:31,959 Speaker 1: so I kind of get squeezed on that. And I 469 00:23:32,000 --> 00:23:35,800 Speaker 1: really aim to be in bed lights out by ten thirty, 470 00:23:36,200 --> 00:23:38,520 Speaker 1: but even that is pushing it because if he's up 471 00:23:38,520 --> 00:23:41,080 Speaker 1: at five thirty, that's seven, and that's right on the 472 00:23:41,119 --> 00:23:44,439 Speaker 1: margin of what I can function on. And if he 473 00:23:44,600 --> 00:23:47,679 Speaker 1: has any wake ups in the night, then it's seven 474 00:23:47,840 --> 00:23:51,199 Speaker 1: minus bat I should be doing it at ten, but 475 00:23:51,280 --> 00:23:54,480 Speaker 1: ten is almost impossible. So we're just you know, I 476 00:23:54,960 --> 00:23:58,240 Speaker 1: I am trading off with Michael a lot, like I 477 00:23:58,320 --> 00:24:00,359 Speaker 1: go sleep in the guest room, for instance, and he 478 00:24:00,560 --> 00:24:04,840 Speaker 1: handles a night. I still need to get to sleep 479 00:24:04,880 --> 00:24:08,080 Speaker 1: earlier or even on those nights because Henry wake up, 480 00:24:08,119 --> 00:24:10,520 Speaker 1: wakes up in the morning, wanting to nurse, and so 481 00:24:10,680 --> 00:24:12,840 Speaker 1: Michael can push him along to sex, but you know 482 00:24:13,080 --> 00:24:15,800 Speaker 1: he's not lactating. Eventually, I'm the one he's gotta fined, 483 00:24:16,280 --> 00:24:18,520 Speaker 1: So the morning is still going to start pretty early. 484 00:24:19,200 --> 00:24:21,240 Speaker 1: I was just gonna say, like, yeah, it's interesting how 485 00:24:21,359 --> 00:24:24,600 Speaker 1: kids can really differ like with their with their design, 486 00:24:24,600 --> 00:24:27,040 Speaker 1: and sometimes those features of wanting to be early kind 487 00:24:27,080 --> 00:24:29,160 Speaker 1: of sticks. Like I feel like Annabelle has always been 488 00:24:29,200 --> 00:24:32,480 Speaker 1: like the most inclined to be early, Cameron's been like 489 00:24:32,680 --> 00:24:35,880 Speaker 1: the sleeper. Genevieve is somewhere in between, although she will 490 00:24:35,960 --> 00:24:37,560 Speaker 1: rarely just sort of wake up at five and I'm 491 00:24:37,600 --> 00:24:40,320 Speaker 1: like why, like, don't why. But it's like one out 492 00:24:40,359 --> 00:24:43,280 Speaker 1: of twenty nights, so it's certainly not like no, it's 493 00:24:43,280 --> 00:24:45,800 Speaker 1: it's rare enough that it's like shocking and like almost 494 00:24:45,840 --> 00:24:47,560 Speaker 1: even more annoying because it's like, what are you doing? 495 00:24:47,840 --> 00:24:49,440 Speaker 1: Like normally I have to drag you out of bed 496 00:24:49,480 --> 00:24:52,560 Speaker 1: at six fifty. I don't understand, But I wonder if 497 00:24:52,640 --> 00:24:54,840 Speaker 1: maybe when he gets rid of that second nap, maybe 498 00:24:54,840 --> 00:24:58,399 Speaker 1: that'll help. Yeah, si patterns be more solid. Although I 499 00:24:58,440 --> 00:25:01,639 Speaker 1: know your fourth child was also a big fan of 500 00:25:01,680 --> 00:25:06,280 Speaker 1: the earlier Yeah, what he still is, although some mornings 501 00:25:06,280 --> 00:25:08,160 Speaker 1: we have to wake him up at eight to get 502 00:25:08,160 --> 00:25:10,600 Speaker 1: ready for school, but most mornings we don't. Most mornings 503 00:25:10,640 --> 00:25:14,560 Speaker 1: he is up, he knows to stay in his room 504 00:25:14,720 --> 00:25:18,840 Speaker 1: until seven, and I would say he observes that maybe 505 00:25:19,760 --> 00:25:22,200 Speaker 1: seventy five percent of the time, which is better than 506 00:25:22,720 --> 00:25:28,320 Speaker 1: not observing it, and he usually he can go down. 507 00:25:28,720 --> 00:25:31,280 Speaker 1: He will come get an adult to go get the 508 00:25:31,320 --> 00:25:35,159 Speaker 1: computer on downstairs, then he goes and watches videos. But 509 00:25:35,280 --> 00:25:36,639 Speaker 1: we've kind of got it set up now that he 510 00:25:36,680 --> 00:25:39,399 Speaker 1: could just do it on his own, he still tends to. 511 00:25:39,840 --> 00:25:42,200 Speaker 1: I mean, going downstairs by yourself is kind of scary 512 00:25:42,200 --> 00:25:45,480 Speaker 1: when the house is dark and quiet, so I get it. 513 00:25:45,800 --> 00:25:49,560 Speaker 1: But usually that doesn't happen till seven, and often somebody's 514 00:25:49,720 --> 00:25:52,800 Speaker 1: up with Henry at that point anyway, so it's kind 515 00:25:52,800 --> 00:25:54,880 Speaker 1: of less of an issue. It's more that somebody's down 516 00:25:54,880 --> 00:25:58,119 Speaker 1: with Henry and then he comes and finds them. But yeah, no, 517 00:25:58,200 --> 00:26:01,680 Speaker 1: I mean I could look the crazy thing. I track 518 00:26:01,760 --> 00:26:03,840 Speaker 1: my time so I could look back at my logs 519 00:26:03,840 --> 00:26:07,760 Speaker 1: from Alex and I know that it was rough. It 520 00:26:07,840 --> 00:26:11,200 Speaker 1: was just rough. I almost feel like you could make 521 00:26:11,240 --> 00:26:14,560 Speaker 1: the coolest graph, the cohost graph of yes my wake 522 00:26:14,640 --> 00:26:17,400 Speaker 1: ups with with Alex and my wake ups with with Henry, 523 00:26:17,440 --> 00:26:20,760 Speaker 1: and oh Henry, it was this last night was terrible. 524 00:26:21,320 --> 00:26:25,199 Speaker 1: I don't know. I mean, we're we're doing all the 525 00:26:25,240 --> 00:26:30,040 Speaker 1: sleep training things. You just have a very stubborn little child, 526 00:26:30,520 --> 00:26:34,560 Speaker 1: so oh that's hard. Yeah. Mine, mine pretty much responded 527 00:26:34,600 --> 00:26:38,919 Speaker 1: to that whole like, we're not getting you anymore. And 528 00:26:39,000 --> 00:26:41,240 Speaker 1: I know some people find that controversial, but that that 529 00:26:41,600 --> 00:26:43,720 Speaker 1: was a life saver for us. But it worked very quickly, 530 00:26:44,080 --> 00:26:46,040 Speaker 1: and I get that if it doesn't work quickly, this 531 00:26:46,160 --> 00:26:49,320 Speaker 1: is much much more torturous then, and then you question 532 00:26:49,400 --> 00:26:51,720 Speaker 1: yourself because you're like, well, is this even gonna achieve 533 00:26:51,760 --> 00:26:54,040 Speaker 1: the aim? If it achieves it in two nights, you're like, okay, 534 00:26:54,080 --> 00:26:56,880 Speaker 1: well that's over. Yeah, And if it doesn't, it's it's 535 00:26:56,920 --> 00:26:58,560 Speaker 1: probably just that the kid is a different kid. He's 536 00:26:58,560 --> 00:27:01,040 Speaker 1: a different kid. He's much better about going to sleep. 537 00:27:01,359 --> 00:27:05,439 Speaker 1: I would say that I have him asleep by seven 538 00:27:05,560 --> 00:27:09,919 Speaker 1: forty five eight most nights, and I don't know if 539 00:27:09,960 --> 00:27:12,200 Speaker 1: other people feel that's an appropriate toddler time, but whatever, 540 00:27:12,200 --> 00:27:13,880 Speaker 1: in our life, that kind of works. That some time 541 00:27:13,920 --> 00:27:16,679 Speaker 1: between seven and eight is when he goes down, and 542 00:27:16,760 --> 00:27:20,240 Speaker 1: that tends to happen without a huge amount of screaming. Now, 543 00:27:20,280 --> 00:27:25,720 Speaker 1: so that's great that part has happened. Staying asleep is harder, 544 00:27:26,119 --> 00:27:29,080 Speaker 1: and so we're still working on that. You know, the 545 00:27:29,160 --> 00:27:32,360 Speaker 1: time for him to fuss himself back to sleep can 546 00:27:32,400 --> 00:27:35,359 Speaker 1: be very long, and then it can be short lived. 547 00:27:36,200 --> 00:27:39,160 Speaker 1: So there is nothing so much fun as having him 548 00:27:39,359 --> 00:27:41,880 Speaker 1: fuss himself to sleep for twenty minutes at one point 549 00:27:41,880 --> 00:27:45,200 Speaker 1: thirty am and then be back up fifteen minutes later 550 00:27:45,240 --> 00:27:50,000 Speaker 1: to start the process over again. That is so hard. 551 00:27:50,280 --> 00:27:52,600 Speaker 1: That is so so hard. That's funny that you say 552 00:27:52,600 --> 00:27:54,840 Speaker 1: appropriate toddler. I do feel like there's this weird you know, 553 00:27:54,880 --> 00:27:57,440 Speaker 1: there's a weird judgment about when you're toddler goes to bed, 554 00:27:57,440 --> 00:27:59,400 Speaker 1: but I never hear any judgment about when they wake up, 555 00:28:00,280 --> 00:28:02,199 Speaker 1: whether they're up at six or eight or whatever. So 556 00:28:02,240 --> 00:28:04,240 Speaker 1: we have to accept that some kids are going to 557 00:28:04,240 --> 00:28:05,679 Speaker 1: be on a little bit of a later schedule, and 558 00:28:05,720 --> 00:28:07,719 Speaker 1: some kids are going to be on a little earlier schedule, 559 00:28:07,760 --> 00:28:09,800 Speaker 1: and it's going to be based on what the rest 560 00:28:09,800 --> 00:28:11,840 Speaker 1: of the family's doing and all kinds of other things. 561 00:28:12,240 --> 00:28:14,760 Speaker 1: And then we also we'd al said definitely and so 562 00:28:14,800 --> 00:28:18,520 Speaker 1: go to bed early and then share the load right 563 00:28:18,840 --> 00:28:22,840 Speaker 1: that as much as possible, getting an extra set of 564 00:28:22,880 --> 00:28:26,920 Speaker 1: hands to even for short amounts of time, can be helpful. 565 00:28:26,960 --> 00:28:29,320 Speaker 1: And what I'm seeing this mostly is with my older 566 00:28:29,400 --> 00:28:33,439 Speaker 1: kids like that they can take the toddler, especially in 567 00:28:33,480 --> 00:28:36,920 Speaker 1: a toddler's safe zone like the baby room. There's such 568 00:28:37,000 --> 00:28:39,480 Speaker 1: limited trouble the kid can get into in there that 569 00:28:39,920 --> 00:28:42,760 Speaker 1: an eleven year old can in fact play with the 570 00:28:42,800 --> 00:28:45,320 Speaker 1: toddler in there for twenty minutes while an adult goes 571 00:28:45,360 --> 00:28:49,920 Speaker 1: and does something else, And so that's been pretty helpful. Ruth, 572 00:28:49,960 --> 00:28:54,080 Speaker 1: for instance, loves to play with Henry all the time. 573 00:28:54,200 --> 00:28:58,239 Speaker 1: It's like a living doll, and we're trying to make 574 00:28:58,240 --> 00:29:01,320 Speaker 1: sure that she's not automatically given the responsibility just because 575 00:29:01,320 --> 00:29:04,160 Speaker 1: she's more enthusiastic about it, that the boys are totally 576 00:29:04,200 --> 00:29:07,520 Speaker 1: capable of watching him as well and should also do so. 577 00:29:08,000 --> 00:29:11,880 Speaker 1: We have left Henry with Jasper for very short periods 578 00:29:11,880 --> 00:29:14,720 Speaker 1: of time, usually when Henry is asleep that we don't 579 00:29:14,720 --> 00:29:15,840 Speaker 1: want to wake them up and we have to go 580 00:29:15,880 --> 00:29:18,600 Speaker 1: get another kid somewhere. We have two kids out at 581 00:29:18,600 --> 00:29:21,160 Speaker 1: different activities so that he can stay with him sleeping 582 00:29:21,240 --> 00:29:25,160 Speaker 1: for twenty twenty five minutes. I haven't reallyased fourteen fourteen. Yeah, 583 00:29:25,280 --> 00:29:27,360 Speaker 1: I was fully babysitting for people while they went on 584 00:29:27,480 --> 00:29:29,680 Speaker 1: dates at that age and getting paid like two dollars 585 00:29:29,720 --> 00:29:33,320 Speaker 1: an hour to do it two hours. I'm all up 586 00:29:33,320 --> 00:29:36,480 Speaker 1: for that. That sounds great, But I think we're getting there. 587 00:29:37,200 --> 00:29:39,000 Speaker 1: I'm not sure we're one hundred per The problem is, 588 00:29:39,040 --> 00:29:41,239 Speaker 1: then we also have it only works if Alex is 589 00:29:41,320 --> 00:29:44,160 Speaker 1: not there, right, So it has to be during Alex 590 00:29:44,360 --> 00:29:49,880 Speaker 1: having and something else out because supervising Alex when it's 591 00:29:49,920 --> 00:29:52,480 Speaker 1: your own kids, there is your own siblings, there's an 592 00:29:52,480 --> 00:29:54,600 Speaker 1: extra layer of like like I wasn't gonna fight with 593 00:29:54,680 --> 00:29:57,280 Speaker 1: my charges, but like you could fight with your five 594 00:29:57,320 --> 00:29:59,200 Speaker 1: year old six year old brothers. Yeah, you know, I 595 00:29:59,240 --> 00:30:02,200 Speaker 1: mean that's on. It's tough for adults to handle the 596 00:30:02,200 --> 00:30:06,680 Speaker 1: two of them, so I think that asking a teenager 597 00:30:06,720 --> 00:30:08,520 Speaker 1: to do it might be a little bit challenging. But 598 00:30:08,680 --> 00:30:11,400 Speaker 1: you know, so this is possible. And when Michael has 599 00:30:11,440 --> 00:30:14,040 Speaker 1: gone on a recent weekend and I had another really 600 00:30:14,080 --> 00:30:17,800 Speaker 1: bad night, took Henry for like twenty thirty minutes apiece 601 00:30:17,840 --> 00:30:20,720 Speaker 1: so I could nap, and that worked out really well 602 00:30:20,800 --> 00:30:24,120 Speaker 1: and was such a life saver in early afternoon for 603 00:30:24,200 --> 00:30:26,800 Speaker 1: me that I was able to get that in and 604 00:30:26,840 --> 00:30:29,960 Speaker 1: of course childcare too, right like you, this was when 605 00:30:30,000 --> 00:30:32,320 Speaker 1: you had the tyler and like on weekends when you 606 00:30:32,360 --> 00:30:35,600 Speaker 1: had them on your own. Yeah, and it's like I 607 00:30:35,600 --> 00:30:38,080 Speaker 1: didn't really notice not needing it as much, but I 608 00:30:38,360 --> 00:30:42,440 Speaker 1: those weekends just felt so long sometimes and I never 609 00:30:42,480 --> 00:30:44,520 Speaker 1: feel like, felt like I could stop. And those were 610 00:30:44,520 --> 00:30:45,880 Speaker 1: the times, like when I had a one and three 611 00:30:45,960 --> 00:30:47,600 Speaker 1: year old, or when you went I had like a one, 612 00:30:47,920 --> 00:30:50,400 Speaker 1: five and seven year old or whatever, that I did 613 00:30:50,440 --> 00:30:53,120 Speaker 1: feel really like, oh my god, two hours of babysitting 614 00:30:53,160 --> 00:30:56,320 Speaker 1: will really make the difference for me. Again, you know, 615 00:30:56,560 --> 00:30:59,640 Speaker 1: obviously the pandemic can add a layer of like, well 616 00:30:59,680 --> 00:31:01,560 Speaker 1: now I'm taking an extra risk, like is it worth it? 617 00:31:01,640 --> 00:31:04,080 Speaker 1: Et cetera. But again, as things change and more and 618 00:31:04,080 --> 00:31:06,719 Speaker 1: more people are vaccinated, and in fact, you know, daycare 619 00:31:06,760 --> 00:31:09,720 Speaker 1: workers are eligible, so there may be you know, a 620 00:31:09,760 --> 00:31:13,200 Speaker 1: great increasing supply of vaccinated caregivers available. If that, if 621 00:31:13,280 --> 00:31:15,600 Speaker 1: that is important to you, you know, it can really 622 00:31:15,680 --> 00:31:18,040 Speaker 1: make a big difference. And then you'll you'll realize, I mean, 623 00:31:18,080 --> 00:31:19,920 Speaker 1: part of me was like, oh, this is so expensive, 624 00:31:19,920 --> 00:31:21,960 Speaker 1: but if you actually think of it, like, well, actually 625 00:31:22,240 --> 00:31:23,960 Speaker 1: this expense is going to be an expense for like 626 00:31:24,040 --> 00:31:25,960 Speaker 1: two years max. And then I won't really need it 627 00:31:26,280 --> 00:31:28,360 Speaker 1: then you you know, in the grand scheme of things, 628 00:31:28,960 --> 00:31:30,560 Speaker 1: it makes a less of a big deal. Like you're 629 00:31:30,600 --> 00:31:32,520 Speaker 1: not creating a ritual that's going to be a pattern 630 00:31:32,560 --> 00:31:34,920 Speaker 1: for the next eighteen years. You're just doing something to 631 00:31:34,960 --> 00:31:37,440 Speaker 1: get yourself through a hard time. And if you even 632 00:31:37,440 --> 00:31:39,280 Speaker 1: added up all the money, you know, maybe it was 633 00:31:39,320 --> 00:31:42,280 Speaker 1: like a couple thousand dollars total. It's not I'm not 634 00:31:42,320 --> 00:31:44,200 Speaker 1: talking about like full time childcare. I'm talking about like 635 00:31:44,240 --> 00:31:46,560 Speaker 1: two hours you know, every couple of weekends when my 636 00:31:46,600 --> 00:31:49,080 Speaker 1: husband was working Like that made a big difference. It 637 00:31:49,120 --> 00:31:53,160 Speaker 1: was worth it totally. That is a definite good thing 638 00:31:53,200 --> 00:31:56,280 Speaker 1: to have, and we've not really had it, but but 639 00:31:56,360 --> 00:31:58,680 Speaker 1: I have my kids, so that that's made this time 640 00:31:58,720 --> 00:32:02,040 Speaker 1: around much easier, even though we have the pandemic. And 641 00:32:02,320 --> 00:32:04,640 Speaker 1: Michael and I will trade off too, so just in 642 00:32:04,680 --> 00:32:06,280 Speaker 1: case people won't knowing where is he, Well, that was 643 00:32:06,280 --> 00:32:09,640 Speaker 1: a one weekend he was gone. We will trade off 644 00:32:09,640 --> 00:32:11,920 Speaker 1: like every if we're home for an extended period of time, 645 00:32:11,920 --> 00:32:13,880 Speaker 1: we will trade off every hour or every ninety minutes 646 00:32:14,000 --> 00:32:16,280 Speaker 1: or something like that to give the other person time 647 00:32:16,320 --> 00:32:19,120 Speaker 1: off to do their things as well. All right, well, 648 00:32:19,200 --> 00:32:21,520 Speaker 1: let's go to the question, Sarah, we had a lot 649 00:32:21,560 --> 00:32:27,040 Speaker 1: to say about toddlers. Yes, okay, this comes from Mollie. 650 00:32:28,080 --> 00:32:30,719 Speaker 1: Can you name some things you don't do, either at 651 00:32:30,760 --> 00:32:33,800 Speaker 1: all or much less than other people normally do. Hearing, 652 00:32:33,840 --> 00:32:36,760 Speaker 1: for example, Laura, that you have simply reduced your standards 653 00:32:36,760 --> 00:32:39,040 Speaker 1: for how tidy your house is on any given day 654 00:32:39,400 --> 00:32:42,600 Speaker 1: was oddly freeing for me. Curious what else there might be. 655 00:32:42,720 --> 00:32:44,440 Speaker 1: I thought that was a fun question that came in 656 00:32:44,480 --> 00:32:48,240 Speaker 1: on instance. I'm wondering what I said, because do people 657 00:32:48,240 --> 00:32:50,719 Speaker 1: have some impression that my house is tidy at other times? 658 00:32:50,960 --> 00:32:54,800 Speaker 1: I don't know, it's really right after the cleaners come 659 00:32:54,840 --> 00:32:57,560 Speaker 1: that Friday every two weeks, it looks pretty nice for 660 00:32:57,560 --> 00:32:59,959 Speaker 1: about twenty seconds. No, I think her point was that, 661 00:33:00,000 --> 00:33:02,760 Speaker 1: but you had basically said, like, that's one of the 662 00:33:02,760 --> 00:33:04,480 Speaker 1: things I don't do. I don't spend all my day 663 00:33:04,600 --> 00:33:06,480 Speaker 1: making sure my house looks like it could be photographed 664 00:33:06,520 --> 00:33:10,200 Speaker 1: for a living magazine all day long. I've like decided 665 00:33:10,200 --> 00:33:12,600 Speaker 1: not to do that. So I think that's that's where 666 00:33:12,600 --> 00:33:14,920 Speaker 1: that came. Yeah, No, that's that's definitely something I do 667 00:33:15,040 --> 00:33:20,080 Speaker 1: not spend time on. We don't cook particularly elaborate meals 668 00:33:20,240 --> 00:33:22,680 Speaker 1: at all. I know some people get really into that. 669 00:33:23,960 --> 00:33:28,120 Speaker 1: Do not on the nights that we cook. So, for instance, 670 00:33:28,160 --> 00:33:33,480 Speaker 1: right now, Wednesday and Friday are too that Michael or 671 00:33:33,520 --> 00:33:36,520 Speaker 1: I are handling. For instance, we've been doing breakfast for 672 00:33:36,560 --> 00:33:40,080 Speaker 1: dinner on Wednesdays and we have been doing family bake 673 00:33:40,120 --> 00:33:42,360 Speaker 1: your own pizza night on Fridays. So those are both 674 00:33:42,840 --> 00:33:45,360 Speaker 1: very easy and we don't have to think about them. 675 00:33:45,800 --> 00:33:47,840 Speaker 1: And then then on weekends you can do a bit 676 00:33:47,880 --> 00:33:50,000 Speaker 1: more like try to be a bit more original or 677 00:33:50,000 --> 00:33:53,280 Speaker 1: something like that. But no, I'm never like looking through 678 00:33:53,320 --> 00:33:56,640 Speaker 1: cookbooks looking for ideas. We still get sun basket, so 679 00:33:56,720 --> 00:33:59,400 Speaker 1: that's we do that two nights a week, usually Monday 680 00:33:59,440 --> 00:34:02,840 Speaker 1: and Tuesday. But yeah, I know, don't put a whole 681 00:34:02,880 --> 00:34:04,480 Speaker 1: lot of effort into that. That's something I don't do. 682 00:34:05,280 --> 00:34:08,960 Speaker 1: We I don't do really most of our laundry, you know. 683 00:34:08,960 --> 00:34:10,920 Speaker 1: We have a question on a later episode about like 684 00:34:11,200 --> 00:34:13,160 Speaker 1: when you have full time childcare but your kids are 685 00:34:13,160 --> 00:34:15,200 Speaker 1: in school, like what do you do? And in our case, 686 00:34:15,200 --> 00:34:17,919 Speaker 1: one of the things we've done is to have our 687 00:34:18,560 --> 00:34:21,239 Speaker 1: childcare worker do some house stuff so that we can 688 00:34:21,600 --> 00:34:24,760 Speaker 1: keep her as a full time employee, which makes everybody happy. 689 00:34:24,840 --> 00:34:27,919 Speaker 1: So I really don't do laundry. I don't do most 690 00:34:27,920 --> 00:34:30,680 Speaker 1: of our cooking. I don't watch that much TV. I 691 00:34:30,719 --> 00:34:32,560 Speaker 1: watch like a little TV if it's like something I 692 00:34:32,640 --> 00:34:35,200 Speaker 1: really want to watch. But I feel like people do 693 00:34:35,320 --> 00:34:36,839 Speaker 1: spend a lot of time on that, and I know 694 00:34:36,880 --> 00:34:40,400 Speaker 1: you don't either, Laura, So that's, you know, something that's interesting. 695 00:34:41,160 --> 00:34:42,919 Speaker 1: And I feel like I don't spend out on certain 696 00:34:42,960 --> 00:34:46,680 Speaker 1: things financially that enable me to not do the laundry, 697 00:34:46,840 --> 00:34:49,080 Speaker 1: So you know, you're always they're always trade offs. But 698 00:34:49,160 --> 00:34:52,480 Speaker 1: I feel like not spending lots of time on housework 699 00:34:52,560 --> 00:34:55,000 Speaker 1: is something that makes me happier than most material things do. 700 00:34:55,239 --> 00:34:57,560 Speaker 1: So it feels worth it to me to drive a 701 00:34:57,560 --> 00:35:01,399 Speaker 1: really old beater car. Yeah, of time. I don't spend 702 00:35:01,440 --> 00:35:04,480 Speaker 1: a lot of time on television. And I found when 703 00:35:04,480 --> 00:35:06,279 Speaker 1: I did the time diary studies for I Know How 704 00:35:06,320 --> 00:35:09,080 Speaker 1: she does it, that was, honestly one of the ways 705 00:35:09,120 --> 00:35:12,920 Speaker 1: that people made life work. The number of hours of 706 00:35:12,960 --> 00:35:15,440 Speaker 1: television per week for the women in my study, and 707 00:35:15,480 --> 00:35:18,320 Speaker 1: remember this is women who earned over one hundred thousand 708 00:35:18,360 --> 00:35:21,839 Speaker 1: dollars a year and had children at home they were 709 00:35:21,880 --> 00:35:23,399 Speaker 1: watching on average, it was about four and a half 710 00:35:23,440 --> 00:35:26,560 Speaker 1: hours of TV a week. And you know, that's not nothing. 711 00:35:26,640 --> 00:35:30,160 Speaker 1: That could be like two movies. It could be. To me, 712 00:35:30,239 --> 00:35:31,680 Speaker 1: that sounds like a time. I mean, I don't know 713 00:35:31,840 --> 00:35:33,360 Speaker 1: half an hour so much. That sounds like half an 714 00:35:33,360 --> 00:35:35,120 Speaker 1: hour every day. So it's at least it's like a 715 00:35:35,200 --> 00:35:38,000 Speaker 1: sitcom every day or something like that. So it's not nothing. 716 00:35:38,560 --> 00:35:41,880 Speaker 1: But on the other hand, the average, according to the 717 00:35:41,880 --> 00:35:46,440 Speaker 1: American time Youse Survey, the average employed mother, it's more 718 00:35:46,520 --> 00:35:49,959 Speaker 1: like ten hours a week, right, which is or even 719 00:35:50,000 --> 00:35:51,640 Speaker 1: a little bit more. I forget, I don't have the 720 00:35:51,719 --> 00:35:53,120 Speaker 1: numbers off the top of my head. It's more like 721 00:35:53,120 --> 00:35:55,560 Speaker 1: twelve hours a week. It's more right, it's more than 722 00:35:55,640 --> 00:35:59,320 Speaker 1: ninety minutes a day, and so that's an extra hour 723 00:35:59,680 --> 00:36:02,399 Speaker 1: there for other things. And you know, people work longer 724 00:36:02,400 --> 00:36:05,200 Speaker 1: hours than average if they have intense jobs, high paying 725 00:36:05,239 --> 00:36:06,879 Speaker 1: jobs tend you know, but they were working like forty 726 00:36:06,920 --> 00:36:10,160 Speaker 1: four hours a week, whereas the average person with a 727 00:36:10,160 --> 00:36:13,680 Speaker 1: full time job, average employed mother with a full time job, 728 00:36:13,680 --> 00:36:16,080 Speaker 1: it's more like thirty five thirty seven. So there's the 729 00:36:16,120 --> 00:36:20,200 Speaker 1: time right there. It's the extra hour. So which again, 730 00:36:20,280 --> 00:36:22,880 Speaker 1: you know, it's how people made it work, that they 731 00:36:22,880 --> 00:36:25,480 Speaker 1: were trading off TV time for work time as opposed 732 00:36:25,480 --> 00:36:29,839 Speaker 1: to work time for family time is how I saw that. So, yeah, 733 00:36:29,840 --> 00:36:31,759 Speaker 1: that's something I tend not to do that much. I 734 00:36:31,760 --> 00:36:33,560 Speaker 1: turned down the television the other night to watch a 735 00:36:33,600 --> 00:36:35,319 Speaker 1: Sixers game, and people are like, what are you doing? 736 00:36:35,880 --> 00:36:39,919 Speaker 1: I want the TV. I'm impressed that you were watching 737 00:36:39,960 --> 00:36:42,680 Speaker 1: a six Ers game. To Spret, I like sports. I 738 00:36:42,719 --> 00:36:45,600 Speaker 1: like basketball a lot, and then every every winter I 739 00:36:45,640 --> 00:36:48,080 Speaker 1: forget that it's basketball season. So I'm trying to remind 740 00:36:48,080 --> 00:36:49,640 Speaker 1: myself and I'm like, wait, it's March again. It's like 741 00:36:49,640 --> 00:36:54,080 Speaker 1: March madness again. That's college. But I don't have a 742 00:36:54,120 --> 00:36:55,719 Speaker 1: college team I care all that much about. But I've 743 00:36:55,760 --> 00:36:57,640 Speaker 1: been you know, the Sixers are actually pretty good right now, 744 00:36:57,680 --> 00:37:00,560 Speaker 1: which is great because they weren't for mini many years 745 00:37:00,560 --> 00:37:04,200 Speaker 1: while we lived here. All Right, so that's things we 746 00:37:04,400 --> 00:37:08,200 Speaker 1: do not do a lot of, picking up television, cooking, 747 00:37:08,440 --> 00:37:13,920 Speaker 1: et cetera. All right, Sarah Love Love for the week. Okay. 748 00:37:14,080 --> 00:37:17,320 Speaker 1: Mine is a recipe blog that I've been into lately 749 00:37:17,440 --> 00:37:19,640 Speaker 1: called how Sweet Eats. I've just been getting more and 750 00:37:19,640 --> 00:37:22,360 Speaker 1: more recipes from there. They tend to be pretty easy. 751 00:37:22,480 --> 00:37:24,200 Speaker 1: I don't cook them or Nanny cooks them, but I 752 00:37:24,239 --> 00:37:27,400 Speaker 1: plan the meals. So that's how that ties into my 753 00:37:27,480 --> 00:37:30,239 Speaker 1: last answer. And she is coming out with cookbook which 754 00:37:30,239 --> 00:37:32,359 Speaker 1: I have pre ordered because it looks awesome, which is 755 00:37:32,440 --> 00:37:35,239 Speaker 1: just like super easy. Sorry say the name of the 756 00:37:35,280 --> 00:37:41,520 Speaker 1: site again, how sweet? How sweet? Like how sweet? So 757 00:37:41,680 --> 00:37:48,680 Speaker 1: I have been getting into non dairy frozen desserts, and so, 758 00:37:48,719 --> 00:37:52,560 Speaker 1: as longtime listeners know, I had my my dairy crisis, 759 00:37:53,840 --> 00:37:58,080 Speaker 1: recognizing that my my chronic sore throats and congestion might 760 00:37:58,160 --> 00:38:01,440 Speaker 1: be linked to dairy consumption, and so I tried to 761 00:38:01,520 --> 00:38:03,680 Speaker 1: just cut it out, and I've been fairly successful in 762 00:38:03,719 --> 00:38:07,040 Speaker 1: cutting it out. I also really really love dairy products, 763 00:38:07,560 --> 00:38:09,640 Speaker 1: and I'm very sad that they do not love me back. 764 00:38:09,920 --> 00:38:13,000 Speaker 1: And so I've had to make some adjustments in terms 765 00:38:13,040 --> 00:38:16,360 Speaker 1: of what my treats are because I love ice cream, 766 00:38:16,360 --> 00:38:18,480 Speaker 1: like ice cream would be my treat, and now I 767 00:38:18,480 --> 00:38:22,920 Speaker 1: don't have that treat. But some blog readers, people who 768 00:38:23,000 --> 00:38:25,160 Speaker 1: listened to this had written and tell me, like, you 769 00:38:25,239 --> 00:38:28,880 Speaker 1: should go check out the freezer case because it is 770 00:38:28,960 --> 00:38:33,520 Speaker 1: not what you think. Like the advances in non dairy 771 00:38:34,560 --> 00:38:37,239 Speaker 1: treats is just huge, Like the market is so much 772 00:38:37,239 --> 00:38:39,080 Speaker 1: bigger than you think it is. So it's not like 773 00:38:39,160 --> 00:38:43,920 Speaker 1: a sad you know, fruit flavored popsicle. There's good stuff. 774 00:38:44,400 --> 00:38:46,480 Speaker 1: And so I went and I looked like Wegman's the 775 00:38:46,560 --> 00:38:51,360 Speaker 1: other day, and I bought these cashew milk like frozen 776 00:38:51,480 --> 00:38:56,840 Speaker 1: dark chocolate pop bars, you know, basically like chocolate covered 777 00:38:56,960 --> 00:39:02,080 Speaker 1: ice cream on a stick. They are awesome. It was 778 00:39:02,200 --> 00:39:04,640 Speaker 1: just I had them in the freezer. My kids were 779 00:39:04,680 --> 00:39:07,240 Speaker 1: eating them. I'm like, you're eating my non dairy dessert. 780 00:39:07,239 --> 00:39:08,920 Speaker 1: They didn't even notice. They thought it was great, like 781 00:39:08,960 --> 00:39:12,000 Speaker 1: this cashew milk stuff. And then Ben and Jerry's even 782 00:39:12,080 --> 00:39:15,040 Speaker 1: makes stuff with almond milk, coconut milk stuff like that. 783 00:39:15,080 --> 00:39:19,760 Speaker 1: And so I bought the American Dream Flavor in non dairy. 784 00:39:19,840 --> 00:39:22,080 Speaker 1: And it's not ice cream, it's frozen dessert. Right, we 785 00:39:22,160 --> 00:39:23,839 Speaker 1: have to use the proper You can't call it ice 786 00:39:23,840 --> 00:39:26,719 Speaker 1: cream if it doesn't have milk. But I'll put that 787 00:39:26,719 --> 00:39:29,640 Speaker 1: out there. If there are people who are also not 788 00:39:29,960 --> 00:39:35,120 Speaker 1: eating dairy for whatever reason, let's just say the people 789 00:39:35,440 --> 00:39:39,200 Speaker 1: and big food companies have come through for us. So 790 00:39:41,080 --> 00:39:46,759 Speaker 1: is that the so delicious Delicious? Want to check it out. 791 00:39:46,800 --> 00:39:50,880 Speaker 1: They're really good, really good. I love their coconut milk stuff. 792 00:39:51,120 --> 00:39:53,479 Speaker 1: I get that just on I mean I eat dairy, 793 00:39:53,520 --> 00:39:56,880 Speaker 1: but I like coconut milk frozens. All right, well, this 794 00:39:56,960 --> 00:39:59,000 Speaker 1: has been best of both worlds. We have been talking 795 00:39:59,040 --> 00:40:02,160 Speaker 1: mostly about toddlers. We will be back next week with 796 00:40:02,200 --> 00:40:06,600 Speaker 1: more on making work and life fit together. Thanks for listening. 797 00:40:06,840 --> 00:40:09,960 Speaker 1: You can find me Sarah at the shoebox dot com 798 00:40:10,080 --> 00:40:13,839 Speaker 1: or at the Underscore Shoebox on Instagram, and you can 799 00:40:13,880 --> 00:40:18,120 Speaker 1: find me Laura at Laura vandercam dot com. This has 800 00:40:18,160 --> 00:40:21,480 Speaker 1: been the best of both worlds podcasts. Please join us 801 00:40:21,480 --> 00:40:24,880 Speaker 1: next time for more on making work and life work together.