Speaker 1: Warning. In this episode, you'll be hearing about my dad
Speaker 1: talk about astrology, baseball, k pop, heavy metal and they
Speaker 1: hit us Hello and Stitch, and also growing up as
Speaker 1: an immigrant, which I think is awesome. If you're not
Speaker 1: into it, that's okay, but I hope you stick around.
Speaker 2: And avitiation.
Speaker 3: I feel amazing.
Speaker 4: Amberta breaking end on a Monday, and the recredation and
Speaker 4: killaborations give the attack.
Speaker 5: Team fifth that it has been wrapping the affecting affacting.
Speaker 2: You know what that means, you know what is ridiculous.
Speaker 2: My nemerologist told me that I should be eating bananas
Speaker 2: every day and particularly on Wednesdays, and today is Wednesday.
Speaker 2: So I've got these tiny, tiny bananas that are maybe
Speaker 2: half the.
Speaker 5: Height of my palm.
Speaker 2: I'm gonna tear a couple off and eat them and
Speaker 2: also press them into my palm. Back when I began
Speaker 2: this show, doctor Kumar, the astrologer I met in Queen's
Speaker 2: told me I should consider buying an emerald.
Speaker 3: It would be a good idea if you were an emerald.
Speaker 6: Embrale is a gemstone for the planet Mercury to have
Speaker 6: better communication, better connection.
Speaker 2: Basically, it's a way of nudging the universe telling it
Speaker 2: to boost the wearers communication skills. The truth is I
Speaker 2: could use the help. I mean, I stutter and I mumble,
Speaker 2: and I'm introverted, and here I am making a podcast.
Speaker 2: So I'm very tempted by a quick fix. So let's
Speaker 2: see if this makes me more of a leader and
Speaker 2: better at communicating. I think gems are a big part
Speaker 2: of Indian astrology. They're used as duct tape quick solutions
Speaker 2: to strengthen the deficiencies in your birth chart. For example,
Speaker 2: my mercury is weak, so an emerald can help compensate.
Speaker 2: The problem is that many astrologers are known for having
Speaker 2: a tie in with a jeweler and taking a commission
Speaker 2: for referrals, which makes me suspicious. But also I live
Speaker 2: in New York City and I'm kind of a cheapskate.
Speaker 2: An emerald sounds pricey. That's why I was thrilled when
Speaker 2: a different seer, doctor DV. Malhotra, who has a PhD
Speaker 2: in numerology, told me to forget about jewelers and just
Speaker 2: buy some bananas instead. Which is odd because.
Speaker 6: I'm born and brought up in a daily jeweller family
Speaker 6: and married to a Mumbai based jeweller family.
Speaker 2: Her house is filled with too many jewelers, and although
Speaker 2: she's been surrounded by sparkly things all her life.
Speaker 6: I don't recommend my clients to wear any semi precious stones.
Speaker 2: To her, the magic isn't in the cut of the stone,
Speaker 2: but in its color.
Speaker 6: I heal them with the remedies, and my remedies are
Speaker 6: very simple. You can eat banana apple. Yes, that's called
Speaker 6: the color therapy.
Speaker 2: She believes that fruit can do what gems do for
Speaker 2: a fraction of the price. So, after this intense and
Speaker 2: complicated numerical analysis of my birth times and dates, she
Speaker 2: hands me a thick packet of information that describes my
Speaker 2: personality fairly accurately, along with my many flaws, and then
Speaker 2: she recommends the colors that'll improve my life.
Speaker 6: Green and sun colors. You can use sun colors in
Speaker 6: your life, so if you will touch colors to your
Speaker 6: skin on every Wednesday, that will also help you out.
Speaker 2: Doctor Deva has no shortage of clients, but she has
Speaker 2: a gripe with the way people seek help from her.
Speaker 2: She tells me that people only come when they're desperate
Speaker 2: for solutions.
Speaker 6: Basically, you know what I want to give awareness that
Speaker 6: you go to any occult science healer. Don't go when
Speaker 6: you are in pain, whether it's me or anybody else.
Speaker 6: Work in the present to secure your future. Don't come
Speaker 6: to me when your present is worst to secure your future.
Speaker 2: Her notion is why can't people treat in numerologists like
Speaker 2: a doctor the same way you do wellness checks to
Speaker 2: stay healthy, keep your life in balance.
Speaker 6: I can't give you the result overnight.
Speaker 2: I don't go to the gym anymore, so maybe a
Speaker 2: regular banana holding on Sundays and Wednesdays is how I'll
Speaker 2: stay on top of things. Doctor Devia tells me it'll
Speaker 2: be three to four months of this by the time
Speaker 2: I see results, which I guess isn't any weirder than
Speaker 2: believing in the power of a shiny stone. But I
Speaker 2: do feel silly because it is silly.
Speaker 5: It's so ridiculous.
Speaker 2: I moved from holding the banana at chest level with
Speaker 2: two hands to raising the banana up to the sky
Speaker 2: like it's Simba from the Lion King, and then I
Speaker 2: eat it. I don't normally eat breakfast, so I'm happy
Speaker 2: about that. Doctor Davia is right about astrology and the
Speaker 2: moments we turned to it. Right now. Michelle fan A
Speaker 2: prospective law school student and an on abashed BTS super
Speaker 2: fan is in crisis because her favorite band is in crisis,
Speaker 2: just when she needs the most.
Speaker 7: All of a sudden, the members are crying, and then
Speaker 7: I'm crying and I don't know what's going on. I'm
Speaker 7: texting my friends. I thought like my life was flashing
Speaker 7: before my eyes, because here are these people who have
Speaker 7: always have been so happy, and now they're being vulnerable
Speaker 7: with us, and they're crying. They're talking about it like
Speaker 7: it's a breakup, even though they're saying it's not a breakup.
Speaker 2: From Kaleidoscope and iHeart Podcasts, I'm Mongish Heartigular. Welcome to
Speaker 2: Skyland Drive Chapter one, T Shirts and boy Bands. Michelle,
Speaker 2: why don't you say your full name for me and
Speaker 2: just give me a little introduction about yourself.
Speaker 8: Yeah.
Speaker 7: Sure, my name is Michelle Fan. I am currently working
Speaker 7: full time in human rights, but right now, with my
Speaker 7: free time, I've been devoting it all to traveling and
Speaker 7: keeping up with BTS's activities.
Speaker 2: From the moment I start chatting with Michelle, I like her.
Speaker 2: She has this bubbly energy and this incredible sweetness that
Speaker 2: I'm not expecting, maybe because I know a little bit
Speaker 2: about her circumstance. One of her friends, my colleague Viny,
Speaker 2: is worried about her. Michelle is super smart, college Honor
Speaker 2: Society aister, elsat smart, but it's been a year since
Speaker 2: she graduated, and she hasn't filled out her law school
Speaker 2: applications yet. She's been pushing it off for some reason,
Speaker 2: and her pals are wondering can astrology help, because maybe
Speaker 2: you can give her the nuds she needs. But as
Speaker 2: we talk, it's not clear to me how much Michelle
Speaker 2: wants a reading for herself so much as she wants
Speaker 2: it for BTS, the massive Korean pop group.
Speaker 7: I would like to know about their future families and
Speaker 7: how many kids they're going to have, and how long
Speaker 7: they're going to keep doing this for and what kind
Speaker 7: of music they'll do when they're like gray and old,
Speaker 7: and if they'll still perform or like get together and
Speaker 7: do things like that.
Speaker 2: Michelle's a BTS superfan or what's known as army.
Speaker 7: You can't be a casual army, like. There's just something
Speaker 7: that is so captivating about BTS. Once you're in it,
Speaker 7: you're really in it, man, Like most of my closest
Speaker 7: army friends are people that I already knew, and we
Speaker 7: connected even more over this thing that we weren't really
Speaker 7: embarrassed to like, but people wanted to make us embarrassed
Speaker 7: to like.
Speaker 2: I feel guilty here because I'm technically anti boy band.
Speaker 2: In third grade, my friends Zoe and I would rip
Speaker 2: on new kids on the block and we were constantly
Speaker 2: evangelizing how lame we thought they were. In high school,
Speaker 2: I ribbed my little cousin because every time a Backstreet
Speaker 2: Boys video came on, she screamed like it was Beatlemania
Speaker 2: and it made no sense to me. But it wasn't
Speaker 2: just the music that offended me, something about how manufactured
Speaker 2: these groups always are, Like you've got to have the
Speaker 2: bad boy and the sweetheart and the shy one and
Speaker 2: the slightly older brother who seems a little too old
Speaker 2: to be in the band. The groups are always perfectly
Speaker 2: curated for mass consumption versus you know, outsiders who are
Speaker 2: trying to express something real and authentic with their music
Speaker 2: and aren't part of some assembly line anyway. What does
Speaker 2: being a member of this fandom mean to you?
Speaker 7: What does it mean to me?
Speaker 5: Oh?
Speaker 7: Man, it means a lot. It's really nice to feel
Speaker 7: like you're part of something that is genuinely just like
Speaker 7: full of like kindness and love and family. I think
Speaker 7: that they do a really good job of making Army
Speaker 7: feel like they're part of their family.
Speaker 2: Seeing BTS live was a transcendent experience for her.
Speaker 7: You just look around you. All you see are these
Speaker 7: lightsticks that are waving around, and it really feels like
Speaker 7: you're in a sea of stars. My friend and I
Speaker 7: was sat and bald after the concert was over because
Speaker 7: we were like, we're never going to have that magical
Speaker 7: experience again. I imagine that this is like what Disney
Speaker 7: adults feel like every summer. I wish I could have that,
Speaker 7: but I have to wait for the off chance that
Speaker 7: Be to Us is going to announce performance in America
Speaker 7: for me to experience that level of like etherealness.
Speaker 2: So Michelle spends her extra hours thinking about BTS and
Speaker 2: interacting with fans, and luckily for Army, BTS has no
Speaker 2: shortage of content. But as Michelle talks, it becomes clear
Speaker 2: it isn't just about the music for her or the community,
Speaker 2: which is powerful, It's also about seeing a Korean band
Speaker 2: making it to the top of the American charts without
Speaker 2: having to compromise their identity.
Speaker 7: I do feel like an additional connection to BTS because
Speaker 7: it's been so nice to see Asian artists really fully
Speaker 7: embrace their Asian ness.
Speaker 2: Michelle came to the States from China as a toddler.
Speaker 2: Her dad brought the family over as he finished his PhD.
Speaker 2: But even though they became upwardly mobile living in a
Speaker 2: nice suburban community, life at home at times was turbulent.
Speaker 7: My dad was pretty abusive. He's really not a great guy.
Speaker 7: He eventually left, which good riddance. My mom's here at
Speaker 7: home and my dad's in China, and my brother is
Speaker 7: here with us too, So now it's just us three,
Speaker 7: and I guess my cat.
Speaker 2: Michelle doesn't dwell on the abuse or her absent dad.
Speaker 2: It's just a speed bump. She happens to acknowledge as
Speaker 2: we talk about her upbringing. But being there for her
Speaker 2: mom and her brother, that's a big part of her identity,
Speaker 2: and that caring doesn't stop with her family. Michelle stands
Speaker 2: up for anyone who is wounded.
Speaker 7: Since middle school, I've wanted to go into human rights work.
Speaker 7: I've always just cared a lot about what's fair and
Speaker 7: what's not fair. I'm sure part of it also comes
Speaker 7: from coming here as an immigrant and figuring out how
Speaker 7: to fit in. Why do I have to chop off
Speaker 7: all of these parts of myself to fit in to
Speaker 7: this mold so that you can still not see me
Speaker 7: as an equal? Like that doesn't seem.
Speaker 2: Right, that tension of identity. I know what she means.
Speaker 7: I didn't want my parents to meet people. I didn't
Speaker 7: want people to meet my grandparents. I was just very
Speaker 7: ashamed of everything related to my family, and that didn't
Speaker 7: really change until high school.
Speaker 2: My parents were never an embarrassment to me, but sometimes
Speaker 2: my house could be like, do you really want to
Speaker 2: invite people in just to explain the myths and religious
Speaker 2: iconography on your walls?
Speaker 7: Again?
Speaker 2: Do you bring a tiffin with delicious rice and doll
Speaker 2: and pickles to the school cafeteria or do you beg
Speaker 2: your parents for a whitebread pebi and j and a
Speaker 2: juice box because it just makes life easier. There's a
Speaker 2: constant question of how you bridge the person you are
Speaker 2: inside your home versus the person you have to be
Speaker 2: outside it, and how you explain and justify these two identities.
Speaker 7: It really helped that one summer we went back to China,
Speaker 7: and that was when I was really aware that I
Speaker 7: was like, oh, I didn't grow up in this country,
Speaker 7: but I feel so at home here. Why is that.
Speaker 7: Hearing my regional dialect spoken, having the food, seeing everybody
Speaker 7: dry their beans outside, you know, all of these like
Speaker 7: tiny little details reminded me that it was perfectly fine
Speaker 7: for my family to be the way that it was,
Speaker 7: and that there was nothing to be ashamed of. That
Speaker 7: transitioned into a lot of pride.
Speaker 2: I think that's common too, or at least I hope
Speaker 2: it is. That at some point you stop worrying about
Speaker 2: the differences and just own them. But that doesn't always
Speaker 2: mean the world accepts you. Back in two thousand and two,
Speaker 2: not long after nine to eleven, I moved to Birmingham, Alabama.
Speaker 2: The day I was leaving, my dad handed me a
Speaker 2: T shirt with an American flag and an eagle on it.
Speaker 2: I'd already packed the car and I'd come in to
Speaker 2: give him a hug, and he just kind of handed
Speaker 2: it to me like it was the short sleeve totem
Speaker 2: that could let everyone know I was American too. I
Speaker 2: knew his fears. I mean, in the weeks and months
Speaker 2: after nine to eleven. I remember the looks i'd get,
Speaker 2: the comments, the shoves, the ways people tried to instigate
Speaker 2: fights with me, things I knew were only directed my
Speaker 2: way because of the color of my skin. Still, I
Speaker 2: tucked this T shirt in my bag and I never
Speaker 2: actually wore it, but I was thinking about that shirt
Speaker 2: again and my dad's idea of this weird form of
Speaker 2: protection because Michelle started talking about this moment in time
Speaker 2: from when COVID hit America forward, when anti Asian hate
Speaker 2: became so prevalent and so visible, how the world inside
Speaker 2: her suddenly felt so much warmer and comforting than the
Speaker 2: one waiting outside her door.
Speaker 7: I also, like really didn't go out during COVID. Every
Speaker 7: time I did go out, it did make me super
Speaker 7: super paranoid. Even now, just like going on the subway,
Speaker 7: like I still feel pretty anxious. I'll text my friends
Speaker 7: so that they know where I am, but like now
Speaker 7: it's not like a, hy I'm in this, you know
Speaker 7: I'm in the city, like keep an eye out for me.
Speaker 7: It's like, hope I don't get pushed off the platform.
Speaker 2: I'm not scared for myself these days, not really, but
Speaker 2: I am scared for my friends, my Asian friends, my
Speaker 2: friends who are women. In twenty twenty one, there were
Speaker 2: two hundred and thirty three reported anti Asian hate crimes
Speaker 2: in New York City alone. In New York City alone,
Speaker 2: fifty five percent of those were against women. It's no
Speaker 2: surprise that we cling to these totems for strength, because no,
Speaker 2: I don't believe that clutching onto a bend or a
Speaker 2: T shirt or a gem or a banana can protect you.
Speaker 2: But in the face of so much unearned anger, maybe
Speaker 2: that grip gives you the courage of particularly moving forward.
Speaker 2: Men King Drum and a pro blass just un with
Speaker 2: my recipe and as it's been from public progestating, never
Speaker 2: Rob Beato, looking at what's next chapter, choosing teams, Comma
Speaker 2: Team and my family man of feel blessed? Now are
Speaker 2: we feel reality? It's funny to think about Michelle's incredible
Speaker 2: moment of transcendence occurring in a stadium, because so many
Speaker 2: fans walk out of arenas feeling the same way. The
Speaker 2: high of watching your favorite team cheering in unison with
Speaker 2: a crowd. I mean, there's nothing like it, and that's
Speaker 2: how Sazar Love feels.
Speaker 3: The game is a portal into something else.
Speaker 2: Seesar is a baseball astrologer.
Speaker 3: I'm coming from the West coast San San Francisco. I
Speaker 3: am part of the tribe of Giants fans and also
Speaker 3: part of the tribe of Oakland Athletics fans.
Speaker 2: He loves stats and history. But somewhere along the way
Speaker 2: he got frustrated he couldn't understand why his beloved team
Speaker 2: wasn't winning. I mean, they had an incredible lineup, So
Speaker 2: out of curiosity, he wondered if astrology had an answer.
Speaker 2: Could mercury be holding his team back from the success
Speaker 2: they surely deserved.
Speaker 3: You couldn't understand the team by looking at the chart.
Speaker 3: The Yankees have Saturn in the first house. They have
Speaker 3: this sense of tradition, and that's sort of imposing intimidating quality.
Speaker 3: So yes, it does come across.
Speaker 2: Seesar kept studying, he kept grasping for understanding, but it
Speaker 2: just wasn't something he could be open about. Baseball astrology.
Speaker 2: I mean it sounds nuts. But then he met Andrea Malice.
Speaker 8: I'm testing with mercury retrograde one, two three testing.
Speaker 3: I'm not quite sure if it was the nineties or
Speaker 3: early two thousands, but I met her at a meeting
Speaker 3: of the Society of American Baseball Research at the Oakland Coliseum.
Speaker 3: She was sitting next to me, and she asked the
Speaker 3: question to the general manager if they had ever used
Speaker 3: astrology in their analysis. And I thought, oh my god,
Speaker 3: this crowd is not going to be into this at all.
Speaker 3: But Andrea, who just is a lot more abrazen about
Speaker 3: these things that I am didn't care.
Speaker 2: And when you talk to Andrea, you know exactly why.
Speaker 8: Here's the thing, I'm originally from New York. It takes
Speaker 8: a lot to intimidate me.
Speaker 2: Despite the fact that people might bok. She has an
Speaker 2: impressive list of clients.
Speaker 8: I was the astrologer during the a's moneyball era. Obviously,
Speaker 8: in terms of client confidentiality, I can't name names, but
Speaker 8: I have players.
Speaker 2: When I first heard about the Venn diagram of baseball
Speaker 2: and astrology, I was hoping we could get some predictions.
Speaker 8: You know, the sports astrology nitch is something I totally
Speaker 8: believe in and see results from.
Speaker 2: With the World Series just around the corner, I wondered
Speaker 2: if Andrea or Sazar knew who was going to win.
Speaker 2: But when we actually approach the question, they were reluctant
Speaker 2: to say.
Speaker 8: I'm a cosmic umpire, you know, it's cosmic intel. I
Speaker 8: get most of the calls, right.
Speaker 3: I don't like to make those kind of predictions anymore.
Speaker 3: I think that's a trap for astrologers. A lot of
Speaker 3: them like to make predictions and feel like they're smart
Speaker 3: and show to other people they're smart and say they're there.
Speaker 3: I told you so. I'd rather just leave that, just
Speaker 3: watch things unfold.
Speaker 2: So then how can they use their astrological knowledge practically?
Speaker 2: For Andrea, it's about coaching players and teams through really
Speaker 2: big decisions.
Speaker 8: Tim linsegam he was a pitcher for the giants that
Speaker 8: saw his dad. Then he goes he's turning down five
Speaker 8: years one hundred million. Help, and I like, palstar. I
Speaker 8: go Chris, what time was Tim Bourne? And he told
Speaker 8: me what time he was born? And I said, you know,
Speaker 8: he's a Gemini. He's restless. He's having a sadder return
Speaker 8: between twenty eight and thirty. When I explained it to Chris,
Speaker 8: it was sort of a permission giver. I mean, he
Speaker 8: still didn't want him to turn down five years one
Speaker 8: hundred million, but it's like, all right, he's a Gemini.
Speaker 8: He's a little scattered. He wants to see what else
Speaker 8: is out there.
Speaker 2: Andrew and Sizar know how to use statistics to reduce
Speaker 2: the game to numbers and calculations and take the emotion
Speaker 2: out of sporting decisions. They know how to use the
Speaker 2: numbers of Estralla to that end too.
Speaker 8: I'll tell you I've got four planets in Virgo, and
Speaker 8: on a good day, I'm a micromanaging control free I
Speaker 8: take a deep dive and I look at all the details.
Speaker 8: I just can't watch a game and relax. I wish
Speaker 8: I could, but you know, this is what makes me
Speaker 8: happy as a Virgo.
Speaker 2: But for both of them, baseball is a link to
Speaker 2: something grander.
Speaker 3: People don't realize this. Baseball actually began as a pagan
Speaker 3: fertility ritual. You can study the archaeology of baseball and
Speaker 3: it's not a uniquely American artifact. It's been played on
Speaker 3: all continents for millennia. The game has sort of evolved
Speaker 3: to where we have it now with the diamond with
Speaker 3: ninety feet distances between bases, but its origins and its
Speaker 3: history are as old as the hills.
Speaker 2: Something courses through players and fans, connecting them not just
Speaker 2: to one another, but to the universe. It's like a
Speaker 2: certain type of thief.
Speaker 3: People go to a baseball game, they just feel good.
Speaker 3: It's the way people feel when they go to the
Speaker 3: beach and they know they're in the presence of something
Speaker 3: awesome the ocean. There is something just profoundly spiritual happening
Speaker 3: in the following of a baseball team. So I think
Speaker 3: of each team as a spiritual community.
Speaker 2: There are found families, just like the BTS Army Chapter three.
Speaker 2: It's not embarrassing. It's in your chart, God's groove.
Speaker 8: I'm guessing on my own soon learning no shit. It
Speaker 8: takes me back to my own school shit in me head.
Speaker 4: I take the knowledge. Oh who's is running around the
Speaker 4: world does end up and getting out the dawns?
Speaker 2: Oh shoot, shoot.
Speaker 9: This is a chart that has a lot of ambition,
Speaker 9: a lot of drive, and a lot of desire to achieve.
Speaker 9: There might be a des I've got our.
Speaker 2: House astrologer Janelle Grave on theline here and I'm just
Speaker 2: connecting her with Michelle pushed forward. They're doing it over
Speaker 2: zoom because Michelle happens to be in Texas this week.
Speaker 9: I do like law for you. The night House traditionally
Speaker 9: has connections to the law to philosophy, to higher learning,
Speaker 9: to higher education, to international travel, putting information out into
Speaker 9: the world and receiving information on a grand scale.
Speaker 3: I don't know.
Speaker 7: I feel like you're really buttering me up with this
Speaker 7: like international travel talk, because I'm like.
Speaker 5: Oh, girl, tell me more about that.
Speaker 7: I don't want to hear more about where I'm going
Speaker 7: to be.
Speaker 2: Michelle doesn't know if any of this is real, but
Speaker 2: she's definitely game to hear it all. Her chart shows
Speaker 2: innate leadership skills and troubleshooting skills. It's as she's incredibly
Speaker 2: inquisitive in how she perceives and moves through the world.
Speaker 7: A lot of it rings true, very spooky.
Speaker 2: But even though the talk is flattering, there are these
Speaker 2: moments when Michelle just disappears. She goes quiet, and I
Speaker 2: can't tell what she's thinking. No, I think, but as
Speaker 2: Janelle digs into family, Michelle reemerges.
Speaker 7: A lot of my interest in law is protecting cultures
Speaker 7: that are at risk of pretty much being trampled over
Speaker 7: or erased because of imperialism and globalization and authoritarianism.
Speaker 9: Maybe that's what's fueling you. You may come from a
Speaker 9: lineage that has people who have served in the military,
Speaker 9: or have come from countries that experienced war. So where
Speaker 9: is this story of origin kind of showing up for you?
Speaker 9: If any of these things are making sense so far?
Speaker 7: Yeah, I immigrated to the US when I was I
Speaker 7: think three ish, maybe slightly younger than three. My family
Speaker 7: being Chinese few generations ago lived through Japanese attacks on
Speaker 7: like our villages and things like that.
Speaker 9: Okay, so even for you, maybe moving at a young
Speaker 9: age might have been disrupted.
Speaker 7: Right.
Speaker 9: Scorpio as a sign also deals a lot with rejection,
Speaker 9: where you feel like you don't belong or you feel
Speaker 9: like people are judging you or wanting you to be
Speaker 9: different than what you are.
Speaker 7: Yes, that's definitely the classic immigrant story of like you
Speaker 7: fit too much into the home culture that you left,
Speaker 7: and so then you don't fit into the new culture.
Speaker 7: And then you start assimilating as you get older, and
Speaker 7: then you come back home and your parents are like
Speaker 7: what are they teaching you at school?
Speaker 3: Like what you know what I mean?
Speaker 2: So it is a classic story, the one Michelle and
Speaker 2: I and even Janelle as a first gen Panamanian must
Speaker 2: have felt. So the fact that it's typical it doesn't
Speaker 2: make you feel any less.
Speaker 9: Here we are now in twenty twenty two. Your next
Speaker 9: phase is going to be the balsamic moon.
Speaker 2: Based balsamic. I'd never heard of a balsamic moon, which
Speaker 2: sounds tasty, but in astrologic terms, it's actually the final
Speaker 2: sliver you see of a moon before it begins a
Speaker 2: new phase. And in sort of a poetic way, it
Speaker 2: relates to your commitment to your destiny.
Speaker 9: If you're applying to schools and all that, I want
Speaker 9: you to be very cognizant. All right, If I'm going
Speaker 9: to be doing this next journey, what part to my
Speaker 9: life do I really need to let go of right now?
Speaker 9: Because you can't walk into your new chapter, you know,
Speaker 9: kind of raggedy.
Speaker 7: Right, yes, So it's embarrassing that you could sniff that
Speaker 7: out through my chart.
Speaker 2: It's embarrassing. It's not your chart.
Speaker 8: Like, no, I love it.
Speaker 2: I love it.
Speaker 9: You are Mars and Scorpio. You're supposed to face your fears,
Speaker 9: all right. There's an element of your tret that says
Speaker 9: you have to show up with courage and fire when
Speaker 9: you feel frightened.
Speaker 8: All right.
Speaker 2: Janelle is so clearly encouraging her to go ahead and apply.
Speaker 2: She's used the stars to confirm that Michelle is built
Speaker 2: to speak out on important issues and show up for
Speaker 2: people who can't speak out for themselves. But there's still
Speaker 2: something that's hindering Michelle, and I wonder what it is.
Speaker 2: But before we get to that, so.
Speaker 9: I think, let's move on to BTS.
Speaker 2: Yeah. Yeah. Last summer, BTS released a strange video that
Speaker 2: sent shockwaves through the fandom. They're usually sunny demeanor shifted
Speaker 2: and they began talking about how exhausted they were, how
Speaker 2: something needed to change. A few months later, news broke
Speaker 2: that they would begin their compulsory service in the South
Speaker 2: Korean military, enlisting in turns to serve two year stints.
Speaker 2: And even though they'll have time for some solo work
Speaker 2: before they go, fans knew this was the moment they'd
Speaker 2: been dreading.
Speaker 8: As a group.
Speaker 9: They are heading into a full moon phase, and their
Speaker 9: full moon phase is going to be in July of
Speaker 9: next year. So full moons, like I said, can be
Speaker 9: like the culmination all the fruits of our labor ripe
Speaker 9: on the vine, but also full moons can talk about
Speaker 9: endings too. Knowing that this is the top of the
Speaker 9: top for right now and after this point, we know
Speaker 9: the decline is going to come because this is just
Speaker 9: moon phases, right.
Speaker 7: Yeah, I guess oh man I I oh my god,
Speaker 7: my heart.
Speaker 8: M hmm.
Speaker 7: There's like a very selfish part of me that's like, no,
Speaker 7: like I want you to keep making music. I want
Speaker 7: you to stay together. But I think more than that,
Speaker 7: I want to know that they are able to make
Speaker 7: the choices that they need to make.
Speaker 9: This might be one of the things that you might
Speaker 9: have to quote unquote let go during this balsamic phase. Right,
Speaker 9: if this band decides that we're going to take a
Speaker 9: hiatus or whatever the case is, you know, you may
Speaker 9: not be as involved, but there's still going to be
Speaker 9: part of your life.
Speaker 3: Right.
Speaker 9: They're still together after many years, but go off and
Speaker 9: do their own thing and come back together every so
Speaker 9: often to enjoy performing.
Speaker 7: Yes, BTS.
Speaker 2: Grandpa's so about boy bands. Even though kpop is a
Speaker 2: five billion dollar industry now ruled by three major corporations
Speaker 2: and flooded with what the New Yorker referred to as
Speaker 2: quote generous government support, Michelle's maybe realize that BTS is
Speaker 2: actually different. The manager in charge of putting the band
Speaker 2: together allowed BTS's members to write lyrics and suggest themes
Speaker 2: to address their biggest concerns. So the band's first three
Speaker 2: albums they speak to Korean youth, trying to comfort them
Speaker 2: through the intense academic pressures that kids in the country
Speaker 2: face and that theme of protection that's infused their entire vibe.
Speaker 9: So here's urinatle chart on the inside and on the
Speaker 9: outside it's BTS whoa.
Speaker 2: Janell does something I was not expecting. She takes the
Speaker 2: BTS birth chart and she layers it over Michelle's chart
Speaker 2: to see the influence they'll have on one another.
Speaker 9: I love that mars Son and Jupiter and Jim and
Speaker 9: I are in your eleventh house, so bringing in possibilities
Speaker 9: for friendship and group and endeavors and collaborative things that
Speaker 9: might come in through the groups. I don't know if
Speaker 9: you have, like fan groups or fan fiction groups or whatever.
Speaker 9: It is something about them makes you feel like I
Speaker 9: can do this right if I just keep going, If
Speaker 9: I listen to the song, I do my applications, it'll
Speaker 9: be okay, like something.
Speaker 7: You know other songs, But you know, I've been so
Speaker 7: emotional lately that I can't I can, like listen to
Speaker 7: some of their songs where they use like older recordings,
Speaker 7: and then I'll start crying and I'm like, okay, I
Speaker 7: can't do this application right now.
Speaker 9: I'm you emotional. Oh my god, that's okay, that's good, right,
Speaker 9: It's good to cry. It makes space.
Speaker 2: Chapter four, Okay, the sound of metal. I get every
Speaker 2: color the New City.
Speaker 4: Because someone's gonna because of the run though the numbers,
Speaker 4: gonna be saying it's the sound like I'm.
Speaker 2: Open understands the fun One of the things I've been
Speaker 2: thinking about is how with every generation it's a little
Speaker 2: easier to fit in where it should be.
Speaker 5: I mentioned to you, I've been in therapy for three years.
Speaker 10: It's another reason why it's funny you're doing the show now,
Speaker 10: because I can actually talk about a lot of these
Speaker 10: things without getting emotional processed and healing.
Speaker 5: It's really nice.
Speaker 2: My cousin a lot is five years older than me,
Speaker 2: and even though it's only five years, that America he
Speaker 2: grew up in was so much harder than the one
Speaker 2: I experienced.
Speaker 5: I remember they would literally say, oh, you're Indian. What
Speaker 5: tribe are you? Navajo Cherokee?
Speaker 10: Yeah, you look at Indians in America now and we're
Speaker 10: the top eleven CEOs of the biggest eleven.
Speaker 5: Companies or whatever, and everybody in America is.
Speaker 10: Doing yoga and drinking chot Starbucks, and there's never a
Speaker 10: problem knowing, like what tribe you are now?
Speaker 5: You know, I say, we're the tribe that took over
Speaker 5: the world.
Speaker 2: Bro a Lot once told me, half jokingly, I'm like
Speaker 2: the coolest Indian you know, And he's right. I mean,
Speaker 2: even his name is cool.
Speaker 10: Basically, the beginning of an Indian classical piece, the musicians
Speaker 10: are warming up and they're just kind of vamping out
Speaker 10: on the three or four notes that they're going to
Speaker 10: be exploring in this piece.
Speaker 5: That section is called the Alap.
Speaker 10: It's strange that they knew I was going to go
Speaker 10: into music, because it's basically like naming your kid improv
Speaker 10: or something.
Speaker 2: Ever since I've known him, he's been surrounded by tapes
Speaker 2: and records, and by the time he was in college,
Speaker 2: he was producing albums. His band dialect was kind of
Speaker 2: like Public Enemy meets my Bloody Valentine. One time I
Speaker 2: told a hip hop head that Alap was my cousin,
Speaker 2: and he actually didn't believe me. I always just assumed
Speaker 2: a lop had it easy.
Speaker 5: I don't want to throp shit.
Speaker 10: I think as soon as I got to New Jersey
Speaker 10: age six, nineteen eighty and it was like a light switch.
Speaker 10: The very first day of school it started. It was like,
Speaker 10: I don't want to get to graphic, but.
Speaker 2: Tell me because I because I want to. I mean,
Speaker 2: I can always cut out shit.
Speaker 5: Sure, Okay, well you're gonna probably have to do some editing.
Speaker 10: From the age of basically six till about thirteen, I
Speaker 10: can just remember every time I woke up in the morning,
Speaker 10: I had dread.
Speaker 5: You know, I had a massive anxiety. But we're Indians.
Speaker 10: We don't talk about it. We don't even know what
Speaker 10: that is. In nineteen eighty, right, I'm six years old
Speaker 10: and basically as soon as I opened the door, girls
Speaker 10: are writing nick on my back.
Speaker 5: You know, I'm getting beat up. Girls would spit on me,
Speaker 5: make fun of my clothes, make fun of my lunch.
Speaker 10: I would throw my lunch out because my parents gave
Speaker 10: me tiffin boxes with Indian food and these white people
Speaker 10: were eating Bolognian cheese.
Speaker 5: And I literally would cry every night.
Speaker 2: And as a lot, dug deeper into music, finding solace
Speaker 2: and heavier and heavier sounds. It only gave the kids
Speaker 2: at school another reason to pick on them.
Speaker 10: Heavy metal hindu is what they used to say when
Speaker 10: I would get on the bus, because I think, like
Speaker 10: age eleven, I started rocking. You know, I'd have like
Speaker 10: a Metallica Master of Puppet shirt with a jean jacket,
Speaker 10: but I would cut the sleeves off the jean jacket.
Speaker 5: So I guess they wanted to clown me.
Speaker 2: You know, the abuse was intense. They'd pull it his
Speaker 2: shirt until it ripped. They tell him metal wasn't for him,
Speaker 2: that not only did he not belong in town, but
Speaker 2: he didn't belong as a fan. They told him he
Speaker 2: wasn't allowed to have music the one thing he truly loved.
Speaker 10: That became a drive for me. And this is gonna
Speaker 10: sound rogan as hell, but it just gave me a catalyst.
Speaker 10: I was like, you know what, I'm gonna do this
Speaker 10: white boy shit harder than they can do it. I'm
Speaker 10: gonna do it better, and I'm going to prove them
Speaker 10: all wrong.
Speaker 2: Punk hip hop. These were outsider scenes. It wasn't just
Speaker 2: that a lot had this knack of knowing what's next.
Speaker 2: It's also that he felt safer in these places.
Speaker 10: We didn't have a community where we felt safe just
Speaker 10: being our Indian souf. You know, we felt safe at
Speaker 10: the punk rock shows. We felt safe at the hip
Speaker 10: hop spots, breakdancing, we felt safe with the skateboarders in
Speaker 10: those scenes. Back then, you hung out with a bunch
Speaker 10: of non Indians and figured out a way to survive.
Speaker 2: And as much as music gave him an outlet, it
Speaker 2: was also a coping mechanism.
Speaker 5: I used to tour ten months of the year.
Speaker 10: I used to work twenty hours a day and never
Speaker 10: stop because I didn't want to deal with my present.
Speaker 10: So I became kind of a workholic and it fueled
Speaker 10: my entire career until I was thirty five.
Speaker 5: So I started to notice my mind is present. I
Speaker 5: feel really good now I'm starting to eat.
Speaker 10: I can talk about these horrifying experiences and not even cry.
Speaker 5: I feel like the universe gets me. And I know
Speaker 5: this sounds real new ag or whatever, but I.
Speaker 2: Mean it's an astrology podcast, So.
Speaker 5: All right, you're.
Speaker 10: Talking about all these things happen internally as well as
Speaker 10: in the universe.
Speaker 5: It's really strange, you know. And then we're musicians, right,
Speaker 5: so you're talking about repetition, petition, petition, petition loops, loops.
Speaker 5: I mean, I grew up on hip hop club music.
Speaker 10: So you're talking about orbits here, orbits here, orbits you know,
Speaker 10: you're talking about rythms, we're talking about vibrations. You know,
Speaker 10: shove the The Hindu said it in the first element
Speaker 10: in creation, when the big bang happened, Bang.
Speaker 2: Happened, was sound, that primordial sound its own. Maybe you've
Speaker 2: heard it chanted at a yoga class, or you've seen
Speaker 2: it printed on a tea label, but that drone, it's
Speaker 2: supposed to connect us to the divine, like a direct
Speaker 2: line to the essence of the universe. A Loop's music
Speaker 2: has always built off this constant humming sound. However heavy
Speaker 2: the music gets, that scaffolding always connects back. It's like
Speaker 2: a subtle fu Like, how could anyone ever tell a
Speaker 2: lot he doesn't belong in this scene when his music
Speaker 2: is literally universal? Chapter five, This is how you belong
Speaker 2: waking up when people sleep and sleep. Michelle and I
Speaker 2: are chatting on Zoom and I'm trying to gauge how
Speaker 2: the reading struck her.
Speaker 7: I have always been like a super skeptic, but in
Speaker 7: the moment, I was like shoot man, like I definitely
Speaker 7: took everything to heart. That she was saying. She started
Speaker 7: talking about BTS going through a tough time.
Speaker 11: And I was like, oh no, no, what was she
Speaker 11: saying about applying to schools and a possible law career.
Speaker 7: I mean part of it is, you know, we talked
Speaker 7: about the potential of a jdphd program and gave me
Speaker 7: a little kick in the butt and was like, listen,
Speaker 7: you need to be courageous because that is what your
Speaker 7: chart was telling you to do. If it's right for you,
Speaker 7: you just got to do it, even if it's like
Speaker 7: nerve wracking.
Speaker 11: Prior to this, I know that when Vahinia we're talking,
Speaker 11: she had said that you are super smart, but were
Speaker 11: like hesitant to apply to law school and everyone was
Speaker 11: like you need to apply already, Like you have to
Speaker 11: get on with the application.
Speaker 5: So what was going on?
Speaker 7: Then? Before I graduated college, I was a lot more
Speaker 7: sure about, like law is the path that I'm going on.
Speaker 7: After my cousin got really really sick with cancer, and
Speaker 7: then my grandparents, who had been living with us, ended
Speaker 7: up returning to China, and you know, we knew they
Speaker 7: would be coming back, and then my brother was having
Speaker 7: a really hard time with all of it.
Speaker 2: Of course, Michelle couldn't focus on applying or even think
Speaker 2: about moving. Michelle is all about family, She lives her values, all.
Speaker 11: Of those things.
Speaker 7: Those ambitions felt so far away, while like all of
Speaker 7: the really really like hard shit I had to like
Speaker 7: witness every night.
Speaker 2: Whatever quality is, Michelle sees an army, whatever solace she
Speaker 2: gets from this community of fans beyond the music, this
Speaker 2: feeling that BTS is looking out for her, that it's
Speaker 2: a culture where everyone belongs, that there's an emphasis on
Speaker 2: showing up and being kind. It brings out the best
Speaker 2: in her.
Speaker 7: I think I needed the time to like grow and
Speaker 7: figure out how to bring like all of these different
Speaker 7: pieces of my life together.
Speaker 2: I'm thinking back on a story from when we first met.
Speaker 2: She told me about this time she and her best
Speaker 2: friend travel to la to attend a BTS concert, and
Speaker 2: just as they walk into the venue, Michelle spots an
Speaker 2: older woman a few sections over who looks petrified.
Speaker 7: Right now, she very much look like an Asian granny.
Speaker 7: I would help any granny, but especially when it's an
Speaker 7: Asian grandma who looks like my own grandma. I'm like,
Speaker 7: oh my god, we have.
Speaker 6: To go help her.
Speaker 2: They go over ask if she's all right, and she's.
Speaker 7: Like, my seats are up there. I came all by myself,
Speaker 7: but I'm too scared to go up because I didn't
Speaker 7: realize it would be so high.
Speaker 2: So Michelle being Michelle, walks the sweet grandma all the
Speaker 2: way up the steep staircase, and before she and her
Speaker 2: friend leave, they make the woman a promise.
Speaker 7: At the end of the show, just sit in your spot,
Speaker 7: hang out, and we'll walk you back down.
Speaker 2: Then they find their seats and enjoy the concert, or
Speaker 2: try to. They can't stop worrying. Every few minutes they
Speaker 2: look over to check on Grandma, and it turns out
Speaker 2: there is no need.
Speaker 7: She was doing just fine.
Speaker 2: She is having the time of her life. She's vibing
Speaker 2: and dancing and making friends with other armies.
Speaker 7: After the show, we all walked down together and were talking,
Speaker 7: and she told us that she flew by herself from Vegas.
Speaker 7: So I was like, oh my god, Grandma, to me,
Speaker 7: this is.
Speaker 2: The opposite of a lop story. Michelle spotted an older
Speaker 2: woman who is clearly a BTS fan, and instead of
Speaker 2: saying you don't belong, she welcomed her. Even if BTS
Speaker 2: doesn't stay together, they've already built something lasting.
Speaker 7: I still believe in my heart of hearts, BTS is
Speaker 7: not going to pick up because they're not just a
Speaker 7: group of their teams. Their family and family stay together,
Speaker 7: Ohanna and everything.
Speaker 2: I don't get any of Michelle's boy band references, but
Speaker 2: I do know o'hanna because I love that line in
Speaker 2: Leelo and Stitch, where Leelo says o'hanna means family and
Speaker 2: family means no one gets left behind. Because in a sense,
Speaker 2: everything Michelle cares about is family. The little tribe she
Speaker 2: has in her home, the much bigger one she has online.
Speaker 7: I think it comes out of just me wanting to
Speaker 7: learn more about the world so that I can make
Speaker 7: it suck a little bit less.
Speaker 2: Look, I haven't been recruited to army, but I'm still
Speaker 2: glad BTS success. I mean, why wouldn't we want a
Speaker 2: world full of BTS's of all kinds, reminding us that
Speaker 2: we all matter, Especially if we get a world full
Speaker 2: of Michelle's out of.
Speaker 4: It could be goui uh ben eyah God guid uh
Speaker 4: inna shiev a cony swoo, sheev a cony swoo.
Speaker 2: Thank you so much for listening before I let you
Speaker 2: go just a few housekeeping notes. One, my friend Sybil
Speaker 2: listened to the Reagan episode and then she sent me
Speaker 2: this incredible quote from the New York Times which I
Speaker 2: just have to share. It goes quote after mister Reagan
Speaker 2: divulged Miss Quigley's astrological role, missus Reagan never spoke to
Speaker 2: her again. Miss Quigley likened the slight to buying a picassa,
Speaker 2: putting it in your living room and putting tape over
Speaker 2: the signature, which is incredible. And second, you know, I
Speaker 2: do not believe in astrology, but our house astrologer, Janelle
Speaker 2: Belgrave predicted this show would be delivered in two parts,
Speaker 2: and that's exactly what's happening. My other astrologer, doctor Kamara,
Speaker 2: said things will get way better for this show after
Speaker 2: January eighteenth. So we are following the stars. We're taking
Speaker 2: a break for the holidays, throwing you a few super
Speaker 2: fun bonus episodes in between, and then we will be
Speaker 2: back with the second half of Skyline Drive starting mid January.
Speaker 2: But if you like the show, please please review it
Speaker 2: in the Apple Store. It makes our moms and us
Speaker 2: and our investors all very very happy. Okay, that's it
Speaker 2: for the updates, Anna hit me with some new music.
Speaker 2: Nice skylind Drive is a production of Kaleidoscope and iHeart Podcast.
Speaker 2: This show is hosted and written by me Mungashtiku. But
Speaker 2: this show would not have made it to your ears
Speaker 2: if a whole bunch of people weren't carrying me. Starting
Speaker 2: with Mary, Philip Sandy, our supervising producer. I am not
Speaker 2: going to join army, but if someone starts a maryps
Speaker 2: fan club, you know I'm in. Feature Pinshahi is our
Speaker 2: wonderful senior producer and seat up so many of these interviews.
Speaker 2: Mark Latto is the very best story editor who took
Speaker 2: my jumbled mess of words and created a story out
Speaker 2: of it, even though he edited out the bits about
Speaker 2: Nickelodeon and Doubledare You can ask me about those later.
Speaker 2: This episode was also produced and mixed by the insanely
Speaker 2: talented Anna Rubinova, with scoring as always from Botany. Check
Speaker 2: out his SoundCloud. I need to thank my son Henry,
Speaker 2: who jumped on the mic for the warning. He doesn't
Speaker 2: have a SoundCloud yet, but look for a new year
Speaker 2: or two. It's coming. My big cousin Alop is just
Speaker 2: the best. You can check out all his latest work
Speaker 2: at Internet Andweed dot com. That's right, his label is
Speaker 2: called Internet and Weed and the music is dope. Speaking
Speaker 2: of incredible music, got to thank my friends at Azadi Records,
Speaker 2: Mumba's hottest label, also my Palhens and my sister Shantahtiguler
Speaker 2: for her Budgeons which she sang on this as always,
Speaker 2: will link to our mixtapes in the show notes. Oh
Speaker 2: and I'm also going to link to all the astrologers
Speaker 2: in this broadcast, doctor Vivia the numerologist. She was so
Speaker 2: kind and so wonderful and she gave me so much
Speaker 2: of her time. Janelle Belgrave who we love here, Sesar
Speaker 2: and Andrea, the incredible baseball astrologers, and of course the
Speaker 2: delightful doctor Kumar. Additional production and research support from the
Speaker 2: wonderful Drew of Chivarral, Lizzie Jacobs, my beautiful wife, some
Speaker 2: of the most talented person I know, Bukshi and my
Speaker 2: cousin Argin Bukshi. This show is executive produced from iHeart On,
Speaker 2: my good pals making Etour and Katrina Norvel. Also got
Speaker 2: to thank my partners from Kaleidoscope who were all okay
Speaker 2: with me taking this Break, Oswa Lishan, Kate Osborne, Costas
Speaker 2: Lina's and Vami Shoi. Special thanks to my friends at iHeart, Shantansara,
Speaker 2: Rachel Strom, my family everywhere and as always a big
Speaker 2: thank you to my Amma and my dad, Lalita and
Speaker 2: MJ who I thank my lucky stars for you have
Speaker 2: so many podcasts to choose from. I just want to
Speaker 2: say thank you for listening.
Speaker 4: Hold them demons in my head to take me over
Speaker 4: toity case sleeve away from this world. I hold my life,
Speaker 4: gets back learned the lessons I was yelling my money wad.
Speaker 5: To the face to take your hands.
Speaker 8: That's why I'm from my chophy stag to the guys.
Speaker 4: Told them demons in my head to take me over
Speaker 4: toity case sleeve, away from this world.
Speaker 5: I hold my life, gets back of pay