WEBVTT - Pregnancy, Infertility, Miscarriages and More 0:00:06.000 --> 0:00:09.760 It was popping. It's your girl, and you're listening to 0:00:10.200 --> 0:00:15.960 exactly a mada A production of I Heart Radio Today. 0:00:15.960 --> 0:00:19.400 We have such an important topic and I was holding 0:00:19.400 --> 0:00:23.479 in my my secret for a while. Um, and everybody 0:00:23.800 --> 0:00:26.920 officially knows that I am a future mother of two. 0:00:27.320 --> 0:00:31.560 I am pregno, I am pregnant of twis super excited. 0:00:31.640 --> 0:00:35.560 This is such an amazing moment in my life. Um. However, 0:00:37.159 --> 0:00:41.320 it wasn't necessarily a pregnancy. I was expecting. I was 0:00:41.479 --> 0:00:45.880 looking for. I was I was wishing for eventually better, 0:00:46.040 --> 0:00:48.479 not when it happened. And I think that God's timing 0:00:48.560 --> 0:00:51.400 is perfect. Everything happens in due time. And I'm talking 0:00:51.400 --> 0:00:52.879 about it this way because I know that there's a 0:00:52.880 --> 0:00:55.520 lot of girls, a lot of women that have gotten pregnant. 0:00:56.240 --> 0:00:58.080 You don't know what to do. You think that it's 0:00:58.160 --> 0:01:00.640 bad timing. You know, I've to see me being a 0:01:00.680 --> 0:01:03.880 woman in the in the entertainment industry. I'm very I'm 0:01:03.920 --> 0:01:06.880 extremely ambitious. I'm always looking for the next project. I'm 0:01:06.880 --> 0:01:09.280 always looking for the next bigger thing to do. And 0:01:09.360 --> 0:01:13.000 while being pregnant, you know, I am currently doing three 0:01:13.000 --> 0:01:15.800 TV shows. I have my podcast, I have my real estate, 0:01:15.840 --> 0:01:17.559 I have a lot of things, and I just didn't 0:01:17.600 --> 0:01:21.080 feel like I was prepared. Um. And then later on, 0:01:21.200 --> 0:01:23.120 you know, nonetheless that I think I would end up 0:01:23.120 --> 0:01:27.440 being a single mother, And that's another story. You guys 0:01:27.520 --> 0:01:30.679 can wait for another episode of that single mother's bed. 0:01:31.280 --> 0:01:33.200 I waited for so long, and I just wanted to 0:01:33.240 --> 0:01:39.479 do things the right way. I think it's also all women. 0:01:39.520 --> 0:01:42.200 We dream of getting married with the white dress and 0:01:42.280 --> 0:01:45.760 having a husband and having a home and just the 0:01:45.800 --> 0:01:49.280 fairy tale. And I didn't get my fairy tale. It 0:01:49.280 --> 0:01:51.480 doesn't mean that I can't get it eventually, because they 0:01:51.560 --> 0:01:56.640 come onst So it doesn't mean that I can't get 0:01:56.680 --> 0:02:00.720 my fairy tale eventually. But the process of my conceiving hood, 0:02:00.800 --> 0:02:03.960 the process for me wasn't necessarily the easiest for those 0:02:04.000 --> 0:02:07.120 I got to see love in hip hop Miami. You guys, Um, 0:02:07.160 --> 0:02:09.360 I had the opportunity to see a little bit into 0:02:09.440 --> 0:02:12.320 my life. UM, probably more than I would have wanted 0:02:12.360 --> 0:02:16.280 to expose in the first place. Um. I I showed 0:02:16.320 --> 0:02:19.040 you guys that I had had a miscarriage. The part 0:02:19.040 --> 0:02:22.000 that I didn't say it was I was pregnant originally 0:02:22.040 --> 0:02:26.840 with triplets, all natural. UM. Knowing vitro no, nothing like that. 0:02:27.000 --> 0:02:30.440 I come from a very fertile line of women where 0:02:30.480 --> 0:02:34.720 my grandmother had sixteen children, you know, sixteen fourteen. My 0:02:34.960 --> 0:02:38.280 my uncle has twelve kids. Like, it's a very Dominican, 0:02:39.000 --> 0:02:42.239 you know, compo thing where it's normal. And to to them, 0:02:42.240 --> 0:02:44.280 they were like, well, you're starting late. You know, you're 0:02:44.280 --> 0:02:46.880 already like, oh, during your thirties and you're gonna start 0:02:46.919 --> 0:02:51.240 having kids now. It's like, but obviously my lifestyle is different, 0:02:51.639 --> 0:02:55.280 um than there's but um. I originally was pregnant with three, 0:02:55.440 --> 0:03:01.000 I lost one, and I currently have my twins, which, um, 0:03:01.040 --> 0:03:03.760 you know, I'm excited, I'm happy. But in the process 0:03:03.800 --> 0:03:07.520 of me losing what I thought was my only pregnancy, 0:03:07.560 --> 0:03:10.920 at the moment, I cried, I suffered. I was upset 0:03:11.080 --> 0:03:17.160 physically and emotionally. Uh, mainly like emotionally because I felt 0:03:17.160 --> 0:03:20.000 like I wasn't ready but now that I feel that 0:03:20.000 --> 0:03:23.720 I'm ready, I lost my opportunity to be a mom. 0:03:24.080 --> 0:03:26.080 You know, maybe it's a it's a sign from God. 0:03:26.600 --> 0:03:29.840 And then I felt physically hurt because the cramps I 0:03:29.919 --> 0:03:33.400 was going through, you know, I was bleeding, the cramps. 0:03:33.880 --> 0:03:37.480 It was just so much because it's terrible when you 0:03:37.560 --> 0:03:40.280 have a miscarriage. I don't think a lot of people 0:03:40.400 --> 0:03:43.480 understand that you still a lot of times, you know, 0:03:43.520 --> 0:03:47.760 you still go through contractions. And I remember seeing myself bleeding, 0:03:48.160 --> 0:03:50.400 you know, my thighs. I was just bleeding, and I 0:03:50.480 --> 0:03:52.640 was like, what the hell like, this is not like 0:03:52.680 --> 0:03:55.320 a period, and I was bleeding for three weeks straight. 0:03:55.880 --> 0:03:59.240 But I also have fireboards, and that's another topic that's 0:03:59.280 --> 0:04:01.960 really important that eventually we'll talk about, because it happens 0:04:02.240 --> 0:04:04.920 a lot in the African American community. It happens a 0:04:04.920 --> 0:04:10.000 lot amongst um and a lot of women overall, you know, 0:04:10.080 --> 0:04:12.760 have fireboards. Things that you don't know till you go 0:04:12.960 --> 0:04:15.280 get that checked out, and that can also be a 0:04:15.280 --> 0:04:20.320 reason of it infertility and um and many things. So today, 0:04:20.440 --> 0:04:25.680 since um, you know my my my journey has been 0:04:25.720 --> 0:04:29.040 so public on social media, I hadn't had an opportunity 0:04:29.040 --> 0:04:31.599 to really talk about it freely like I am right now, 0:04:32.040 --> 0:04:34.560 m through my platform. And I wanted to bring a 0:04:34.680 --> 0:04:39.000 guess because you know, today's topic is about infertility and reproduction. 0:04:39.360 --> 0:04:41.000 And I know there's a lot of women out there, 0:04:41.040 --> 0:04:44.000 more than I ever even knew, that want to have 0:04:44.080 --> 0:04:48.200 babies and camp that they struggle to get pregnant. I 0:04:48.279 --> 0:04:51.320 just felt like, well, I'm a very fertile person. I'm 0:04:51.360 --> 0:04:54.320 a very fertile woman, even though that I'm just finally 0:04:54.360 --> 0:05:00.200 deciding to have kids. Now, get what I'm saying. This 0:05:00.400 --> 0:05:03.560 entertainment industry, your career is priority, and a lot of times, 0:05:04.040 --> 0:05:06.000 you know, if anything happened, it was like, this is 0:05:06.040 --> 0:05:09.679 not the right time. I have other priorities, right, Um, 0:05:09.880 --> 0:05:13.080 But I just never knew that there were so many 0:05:13.120 --> 0:05:17.039 women out there trying to conceive and they couldn't. So 0:05:17.680 --> 0:05:20.480 today I have my friend Rachel. I don't know took 0:05:20.520 --> 0:05:35.520 her Rachel Rachel la loga which one look English loga. 0:05:36.720 --> 0:05:41.400 I mean that if you guys didn't know, she is amazing. 0:05:41.600 --> 0:05:44.000 She has such an amazing spirit, her energy. I love 0:05:44.040 --> 0:05:48.400 what she's doing a s at three. She's a producer, writer, podcaster. 0:05:48.960 --> 0:05:53.000 She is also from Brooklyn, Gang Gang Gang, New York. 0:05:53.279 --> 0:06:03.080 Dominicana and Jewish American RDA about Mina. I had never 0:06:03.080 --> 0:06:05.800 had a jew Minicana before, but I love it. She 0:06:06.000 --> 0:06:08.920 also is a women's activist. You know, I love women 0:06:08.960 --> 0:06:11.279 that are doing other things to support and empower other 0:06:11.320 --> 0:06:16.800 women that struggle with infertility and reproduction. Rights, ask my love, 0:06:16.880 --> 0:06:18.880 thank you so much for coming in today. I am 0:06:18.960 --> 0:06:21.440 so grateful to have you. I mean, I don't even 0:06:21.480 --> 0:06:24.120 know where to start. Where are you? Oh? Right now, 0:06:24.120 --> 0:06:26.560 I'm the New York City repping the Upper east Side. 0:06:26.720 --> 0:06:28.960 You know I read Brooklyn hard, but you know I'm 0:06:29.000 --> 0:06:32.479 living in Manhattan now. Um, I'm in my crib. This 0:06:32.520 --> 0:06:35.560 is my little corner. I don't have an office. I 0:06:35.600 --> 0:06:37.520 don't have a big apartment. It's New York City, so 0:06:37.600 --> 0:06:40.279 I have a little nook where I do my podcasting 0:06:40.360 --> 0:06:43.400 from just like two walls. That's it. But it's so 0:06:43.520 --> 0:06:45.640 nice to be here, and I want to shout you 0:06:45.640 --> 0:06:50.200 out a matter for taking on the challenge of talking 0:06:50.240 --> 0:06:54.040 about this subject matter which we're told to not talk 0:06:54.080 --> 0:06:57.040 about it for the most part. Right our culture teaches 0:06:57.160 --> 0:07:01.719 us that it's taboo, that miscarry just are your own secret, 0:07:02.160 --> 0:07:05.120 something that you deal with. But when I see other 0:07:05.120 --> 0:07:09.920 women like yourself using their platforms to elevate the conversation, 0:07:10.480 --> 0:07:14.120 it's huge. You're moving mountains. These are the dialogues we 0:07:14.160 --> 0:07:16.800 need to be having because they make us stronger and 0:07:16.880 --> 0:07:20.240 more educated. And I'm so sorry for everything that you 0:07:20.360 --> 0:07:25.480 have gone through. You're an inspiration I've been following your story. 0:07:25.520 --> 0:07:28.080 We had you on the Latinos Out Loud podcast years 0:07:28.080 --> 0:07:31.640 ago when you just hit love and hip hop, and 0:07:31.680 --> 0:07:35.080 I knew from your energy what a beautiful person you 0:07:35.120 --> 0:07:39.840 are in and out. And I'm so proud of you. 0:07:39.840 --> 0:07:43.320 You're really doing it and you're doing it for women, 0:07:44.400 --> 0:07:47.960 And uh, yeah, I'm just I'm an open book. I 0:07:48.000 --> 0:07:50.440 want to share my experience and anything else you want 0:07:50.440 --> 0:07:52.240 to know. But I mean, the first thing I want 0:07:52.240 --> 0:07:55.200 to know is it is true not only in the 0:07:55.280 --> 0:07:59.040 Latino community, I also know in many other cultures. Um. 0:07:59.120 --> 0:08:02.120 When you talk about, you know, a miscarriage, it is 0:08:02.120 --> 0:08:05.120 like a secret and a lot of times it's something 0:08:05.200 --> 0:08:08.920 that uh and religiously I'm being but in many occasions 0:08:08.920 --> 0:08:12.000 they blamed women for it. You must have done something 0:08:12.400 --> 0:08:15.840 this you know, and this is a curse or this 0:08:15.920 --> 0:08:19.080 is a punishment, or this is a an A lot 0:08:19.120 --> 0:08:21.080 of times it can bring a lot of pressure onto 0:08:21.120 --> 0:08:23.600 women as if it's our fault and not because it 0:08:23.640 --> 0:08:27.160 happened through natural causes. Um. But I want to know 0:08:27.360 --> 0:08:30.800 what inspired you, what motivated you to want to be 0:08:30.920 --> 0:08:35.000 an activist for you know, reproduction rights and for women 0:08:35.040 --> 0:08:38.040 that are suffering in fertility. I went through a lot 0:08:38.840 --> 0:08:42.160 on my own. I had an uphill battle to become 0:08:42.160 --> 0:08:47.040 a mother. Um just in a nutshell, I lost five pregnancy. 0:08:48.120 --> 0:08:52.280 The first one I lost to a genetic abnormality. Yeah, 0:08:52.280 --> 0:08:55.319 I had a baby girl. I was pregnant at sixteen 0:08:55.360 --> 0:08:59.160 weeks um. They did all the testing and they found 0:08:59.200 --> 0:09:03.400 that she had a genetic abnormality. Try saw me twenty one. 0:09:03.520 --> 0:09:05.400 I had to have a d n C or an 0:09:05.400 --> 0:09:09.400 abortion where I had to terminate the pregnancy, or I 0:09:09.520 --> 0:09:14.520 chose to terminate the pregnancy at sixteen weeks um and 0:09:14.640 --> 0:09:17.920 again due to a genetic abnormality. What would have been 0:09:18.320 --> 0:09:22.079 some of the things, you know, the effects. So a 0:09:22.200 --> 0:09:25.600 try saw me is when there's an extra chromosome, um 0:09:25.720 --> 0:09:29.240 and so on. The twenty one chromosome. Baby girl had 0:09:29.280 --> 0:09:33.720 an extra one, and that is an anomaly. It's a 0:09:33.760 --> 0:09:37.880 genetic abnormality. And it's funny you say, like, you know, blame. 0:09:38.480 --> 0:09:42.400 For a long time, I was blaming myself. I was like, I, 0:09:42.480 --> 0:09:45.960 this must have been my fault during the process of 0:09:46.960 --> 0:09:50.120 you know, when when she was being formed in my womb. 0:09:50.480 --> 0:09:53.000 I must have ate something wrong. I must have had 0:09:53.000 --> 0:09:57.800 too much, I must have did something. But I did nothing. 0:09:58.160 --> 0:10:01.080 You know. The doctor explained that the chances of a 0:10:01.120 --> 0:10:03.720 woman at that time, my age, in my early thirties 0:10:03.760 --> 0:10:06.480 of having that is one in one thousand, and I 0:10:06.559 --> 0:10:09.480 kept asking myself why am I the one? Why me? 0:10:10.240 --> 0:10:14.920 But then after thinking about it and injecting faith into 0:10:14.960 --> 0:10:18.760 the situation, I realized that I had to be the 0:10:18.800 --> 0:10:21.680 one I had to represent for that one in one 0:10:21.679 --> 0:10:26.240 thousand women because I was the one chosen, because I 0:10:26.280 --> 0:10:27.920 was going to get through it, and I was going 0:10:27.960 --> 0:10:31.280 to learn from it and talk about it and motivate 0:10:31.320 --> 0:10:34.679 other women. So that was the first loss. But you know, 0:10:34.760 --> 0:10:37.640 after going through what we went through to have that baby, 0:10:38.120 --> 0:10:41.000 or I'm sorry to get have that pregnancy, you know, 0:10:41.160 --> 0:10:43.520 I thought that there was something wrong. So I went 0:10:43.559 --> 0:10:47.400 to a reproductive endocrinologist to run some tests and to 0:10:47.440 --> 0:10:49.719 see what was happening and why it took me so 0:10:49.760 --> 0:10:52.240 long to get pregnant in the first place. I was 0:10:52.280 --> 0:10:57.160 diagnosed with polycystic ovarian syndrome also known as PCOS, which 0:10:57.200 --> 0:11:00.560 doesn't make a woman infertile, but it's short does make 0:11:00.679 --> 0:11:06.040 her chances of getting pregnant harder. Um it's hormonal. There 0:11:06.080 --> 0:11:10.640 are hormone issues as a result. Diet issues. UM. I've 0:11:10.679 --> 0:11:13.480 been overweight my whole life until three years ago. We'll 0:11:13.520 --> 0:11:16.720 talk about that in a second. UM, and that's also 0:11:17.360 --> 0:11:20.320 in play. That's part of the reason. So back to 0:11:20.360 --> 0:11:25.559 the losses. After that, I decided to undergo infertility treatments. 0:11:26.000 --> 0:11:30.800 So we started with I UI intra uterine insemination UM, 0:11:31.320 --> 0:11:33.600 and I did I U I while saying I yi 0:11:33.720 --> 0:11:36.679 yai because it's a lot on your body. Okay, there's 0:11:36.720 --> 0:11:39.079 a lot of injections, there's a lot of blood and 0:11:39.600 --> 0:11:44.199 blood thinners. I who intrunon insemination was uncomfortable. I call 0:11:44.280 --> 0:11:47.439 it the turkey based or method. Basically, they take, you know, 0:11:47.520 --> 0:11:50.800 a turkey based full of your husband's semen or your 0:11:50.840 --> 0:11:54.840 partner's semen and they just squirted up there um during 0:11:54.920 --> 0:11:59.560 your most fertile period. So that did not work. Tell 0:11:59.760 --> 0:12:03.160 tell me about this. This process is painful because I've 0:12:03.200 --> 0:12:06.240 heard so many people talk about, Oh, I'm gonna get 0:12:06.280 --> 0:12:09.559 in vitro and I'm just gonna you know whatever, and 0:12:09.640 --> 0:12:12.000 they talk about it so easily, as if this is 0:12:12.080 --> 0:12:15.960 not a real process. Is this process? Does it hurt? 0:12:16.440 --> 0:12:20.839 Is it uncomfortable? What's the worst part of the process? UM? 0:12:21.440 --> 0:12:23.280 Because I feel like at this point, a lot of 0:12:23.320 --> 0:12:26.319 people are making it more like a trend. I'm just 0:12:26.440 --> 0:12:29.839 gonna go get in beetro instead of understanding and realizing, yes, 0:12:29.960 --> 0:12:31.360 you can go ahead and do it for those that 0:12:31.400 --> 0:12:33.480 are financially can afford it or whatever, if you want 0:12:33.520 --> 0:12:36.680 to pick how many you want to have, the sexes, 0:12:36.760 --> 0:12:39.079 and all these other things. But this is really for 0:12:39.280 --> 0:12:41.760 a lot of women that really have issues and have 0:12:41.920 --> 0:12:47.360 problems and difficulties having being able to conceive. I love 0:12:47.440 --> 0:12:52.000 this question, oh man. Okay, you would think that from 0:12:52.080 --> 0:12:55.959 how it's depicted on media, how the celebrities talk about it. 0:12:56.040 --> 0:12:59.200 What you just mentioned that IVF is the answer. If 0:12:59.240 --> 0:13:02.920 you can't get pregnant, get IVF. It'll get you knocked up. 0:13:03.360 --> 0:13:07.360 That's the tagline. Okay, No, not that easy, not as 0:13:07.480 --> 0:13:17.520 easy breezy as one would think. Um, I'm gonna answer 0:13:17.600 --> 0:13:19.760 this part of your question first. The hardest part of 0:13:19.920 --> 0:13:24.760 IVF for me was the emotional roller coaster. Okay, the 0:13:26.160 --> 0:13:30.040 thinking that, okay, this is the solution. I've tried everything 0:13:30.080 --> 0:13:33.840 else and I'm here to get pregnant. Go ahead, reproductive 0:13:33.920 --> 0:13:38.200 endo chronologists get me pregnant. So after the first egg transfer, 0:13:38.640 --> 0:13:42.000 I remember sitting in recovery, and the doctor came up 0:13:42.040 --> 0:13:45.000 to me and said, guess what, right now, at this 0:13:45.240 --> 0:13:48.760 very moment, you're pregnant. You have an embryo that I 0:13:48.920 --> 0:13:52.040 just put inside that I hope stick to your uterus, 0:13:52.520 --> 0:13:56.200 So you're pregnant right now. And I started having a fetta. 0:13:56.559 --> 0:14:00.000 I started partying in the recovery room. I'm like, ha ha, pregnant? 0:14:00.200 --> 0:14:05.160 How how pregnant? And then a few days later, my 0:14:05.440 --> 0:14:08.680 hCG levels started to dip and I started to lose 0:14:08.760 --> 0:14:11.520 the pregnancy and I was no longer pregnant, and I 0:14:11.559 --> 0:14:15.040 couldn't figure that out. I'm like, hold up, the doctor 0:14:15.120 --> 0:14:17.120 just told me that I was pregnant in the recovery room, 0:14:17.120 --> 0:14:20.320 and now I'm not what happened? IBF. I thought you're 0:14:20.360 --> 0:14:25.280 the solution. So to break that down, it's not easy. 0:14:26.040 --> 0:14:29.760 You know, the emotional part of it is the you know, 0:14:29.920 --> 0:14:33.320 elevating your spirits. You know, your big transfer day, you're 0:14:33.320 --> 0:14:36.760 gonna get this embryo that the doctors and the biologists 0:14:36.840 --> 0:14:39.720 were working so hard on perfecting, and then they put 0:14:39.800 --> 0:14:42.320 it inside of you and you hope that it sticks. 0:14:43.040 --> 0:14:47.400 And then it's those next few weeks of just sort 0:14:47.440 --> 0:14:50.240 of waiting on the plank to find out whether you're 0:14:50.240 --> 0:14:56.120 gonna jump in or move back. And it's terrible. It's terrible. Um. 0:14:57.120 --> 0:15:00.640 I was not able to celebrate at any point during 0:15:00.720 --> 0:15:03.320 my I v F journey. And I know that sounds 0:15:03.440 --> 0:15:07.920 a bit negative and down, but I guess after losing 0:15:07.960 --> 0:15:12.080 a pregnancy, after going through all the difficulty, and then 0:15:12.400 --> 0:15:15.760 sort of you're on this like thin ice of am 0:15:15.800 --> 0:15:17.920 I gonna make it? Is this? It? Am I finally 0:15:17.960 --> 0:15:20.080 going to be a mom? And then let's talk about 0:15:20.080 --> 0:15:29.200 the financial repercussion. Being coltoso is very expensive. The people 0:15:29.320 --> 0:15:31.480 be thinking, oh, okay, I if this is gonna cause 0:15:31.520 --> 0:15:33.960 me nothing or the insurance is gonna cover no, Mama. 0:15:35.040 --> 0:15:37.240 Get doing the I v and going through the process, 0:15:37.280 --> 0:15:40.120 you thought, not only is it emotionally a roller coaster, 0:15:40.240 --> 0:15:42.880 not only is it financially in a roller coaster, not 0:15:43.000 --> 0:15:46.520 only is it physically a roller coaster, And not only 0:15:46.640 --> 0:15:48.880 for you if you're doing it by yourself, I can 0:15:48.960 --> 0:15:51.560 only but imagine it's a tough. It's tough because you 0:15:51.640 --> 0:15:53.600 have to go through the process by yourself. But if 0:15:53.640 --> 0:15:56.680 you have a partner that's also doing this process with you, 0:15:57.120 --> 0:16:00.200 let's not forget about men as well, These men that 0:16:00.480 --> 0:16:03.280 want to support their women and want to have children 0:16:03.360 --> 0:16:05.680 just as bad as it as you know, many women. 0:16:06.320 --> 0:16:08.960 This is the rot coaster of emotions for them as well. 0:16:09.320 --> 0:16:16.440 And financially, I'm sure too so so my insurance company. 0:16:16.560 --> 0:16:19.680 At the time, I was working full time as a marketer, 0:16:19.880 --> 0:16:22.880 and so the insurance covered a big percentage of the process, 0:16:23.160 --> 0:16:26.200 but the insurance did not cover the drugs. And the 0:16:26.400 --> 0:16:31.920 drugs in total. After four rounds of IVF transferring two 0:16:32.080 --> 0:16:36.240 embryos each round, and also in those second, third, and 0:16:36.400 --> 0:16:41.960 fourth rounds of IVF, the doctors also baked in another approach, 0:16:42.440 --> 0:16:45.360 you know, with other drugs needed. The drugs came out 0:16:45.440 --> 0:16:51.560 to about twenty eight thousand dollars, okay, and that is insane. 0:16:51.960 --> 0:16:58.440 That is insane between you know, just the hormones, injections, 0:16:58.920 --> 0:17:03.320 other procedures I needed before the transfer. UM, we decided 0:17:03.360 --> 0:17:05.920 to do another d n C to sort of clean 0:17:06.040 --> 0:17:09.880 me out VIKA and so then do the embryo. UM, 0:17:10.400 --> 0:17:14.600 we did something where they suppressed my immune system where 0:17:14.680 --> 0:17:17.920 I had to have an intravenous of some sort of 0:17:18.240 --> 0:17:22.360 you know, cocktails, some concoction that literally suppressed my immune 0:17:22.400 --> 0:17:25.480 system for a week, because the doctors thought that it 0:17:25.680 --> 0:17:29.600 was some sort of immuno um compromised ailment that I 0:17:29.680 --> 0:17:33.200 had that was rejecting each pregnancy from IVF because none 0:17:33.240 --> 0:17:35.840 of them were sticking for more than eight or ten weeks. 0:17:36.680 --> 0:17:39.800 At that point, I told my partner, my husband, I 0:17:39.840 --> 0:17:42.680 was like, yo, since we gave up on the procreation 0:17:42.760 --> 0:17:46.080 thing because we start having sex again, Like we stopped 0:17:46.119 --> 0:17:49.200 doing that because we were so keen on having a 0:17:49.359 --> 0:17:53.320 baby that we almost like lost the love part of 0:17:53.440 --> 0:17:57.800 making love. So after IBF, we decided to chill. And 0:17:58.000 --> 0:18:01.840 then I needed some faith, am Ata. I just felt 0:18:01.880 --> 0:18:04.600 like I wasn't praying the right way. I felt like 0:18:04.720 --> 0:18:08.240 I wasn't connecting with God the way I needed to. 0:18:08.840 --> 0:18:13.359 And so I took our CIA classes and I became baptized, confirmed, 0:18:13.960 --> 0:18:19.720 and I received all my holy sacraments in June as 0:18:19.920 --> 0:18:22.040 and and please, my dad was like, what do you 0:18:22.160 --> 0:18:24.320 mean You're leaving the Jewish religion. You're not gonna be 0:18:24.359 --> 0:18:27.200 a Jew anymore? What are you talking about? Already brought 0:18:27.200 --> 0:18:29.800 you a plot in the Jewish cemetery, you know, So 0:18:29.960 --> 0:18:33.240 that all was a whole other family debacle. And three 0:18:33.320 --> 0:18:37.080 months later, almost to the day, I got pregnant naturally 0:18:37.200 --> 0:18:40.160 with my now six year old son, Dawn of main Beta. 0:18:40.480 --> 0:18:47.480 You're after all of that after three rounds of I 0:18:47.720 --> 0:18:52.600 U I four rounds of IVF. Such a blessing, and uh, 0:18:52.720 --> 0:18:56.160 you know, all I needed was faith faith. And sometimes 0:18:56.240 --> 0:18:59.159 I also think that from stories that have heard in 0:18:59.240 --> 0:19:03.080 the past, a lot of times it come. Sometimes you 0:19:03.160 --> 0:19:05.639 want things so bad and you're looking for it so hard, 0:19:05.840 --> 0:19:07.760 and that's when it won't come. Sometimes you just have 0:19:07.880 --> 0:19:11.040 to chill and let God do its job and let 0:19:11.119 --> 0:19:13.760 it happen naturally, and you know, and and just let 0:19:13.880 --> 0:19:16.399 it flow, because sometimes you think that you're ready and 0:19:16.440 --> 0:19:18.800 you're really not, and God is just testing you. He's 0:19:18.840 --> 0:19:21.600 testing your faith, he's testing your body, He's just testing you. 0:19:22.119 --> 0:19:24.040 I mean, for those that are religious, for those that 0:19:24.160 --> 0:19:26.080 have faith, for those that believe, and if for those 0:19:26.119 --> 0:19:29.720 that don't win them. Sometimes there's also lessons and it 0:19:29.880 --> 0:19:31.480 all happend on how you take it, you know what 0:19:31.560 --> 0:19:34.120 I'm saying. It really depends on how you just view 0:19:34.560 --> 0:19:37.040 what has happened to you. But something that I want 0:19:37.040 --> 0:19:41.280 to talk to you about that is more than proved 0:19:41.320 --> 0:19:46.040 that your exeast them when you want it so bad 0:19:46.080 --> 0:19:48.480 after so much money, after so much effort, after so 0:19:48.640 --> 0:19:52.000 much emotional roller coaster, after all those things, bah Baio, 0:19:52.119 --> 0:19:54.720 gave you your baby better. Why do you think that 0:19:54.880 --> 0:19:57.320 this is such a taboo topic in the in the 0:19:57.440 --> 0:20:01.600 Latino community? Why is like in fertility such a thing? 0:20:01.760 --> 0:20:05.880 And I also think that's sometimes Latinos well La Mama 0:20:06.040 --> 0:20:10.920 sometimes can be very like insensitive. I don't know. I 0:20:11.000 --> 0:20:14.160 feel like, why aren't we having these conversations the same 0:20:14.200 --> 0:20:16.800 way that we teach our daughters about their periods, and 0:20:16.880 --> 0:20:20.720 we teach about them and all these things, why don't 0:20:20.760 --> 0:20:24.640 we also talk about if you get pregnant, right, if 0:20:24.680 --> 0:20:26.560 you get pregnant, these are the things that are going 0:20:26.600 --> 0:20:29.879 to happen to your body, and there's a possibility you 0:20:29.960 --> 0:20:32.480 might have a miscarriage. And this is what a miscarriage is, 0:20:32.560 --> 0:20:34.400 and this is what it feels like in this Why 0:20:34.440 --> 0:20:36.600 don't we have that conversation? Why is there so much 0:20:36.680 --> 0:20:40.520 ignorance in the Latino community when it comes to this. Well, look, 0:20:40.600 --> 0:20:43.119 I think it's up to people like you and me 0:20:43.440 --> 0:20:47.080 to change the dialogue and also let other women know 0:20:47.200 --> 0:20:50.639 that it's okay to talk about it. I was also 0:20:50.760 --> 0:20:53.879 taught you know not and it comes from a loving place. 0:20:53.960 --> 0:20:56.480 I think it's for our own protection, you know. I 0:20:56.560 --> 0:21:00.240 think our mothers and grandmothers and thea's they were thought 0:21:00.359 --> 0:21:04.359 to keep it under wraps because maybe it's something that 0:21:05.080 --> 0:21:09.440 would charnish an image or you know, I'm not sure 0:21:09.720 --> 0:21:13.480 what they were trying to protect. UM, But I've always 0:21:13.840 --> 0:21:17.000 been vocal about my life. I've never felt the need 0:21:17.160 --> 0:21:20.479 to not say something, you know, whether it's chicken pocks 0:21:20.760 --> 0:21:23.760 or infertility. You know what I'm saying because I want 0:21:23.800 --> 0:21:27.359 to hear stories and experiences from other people because that 0:21:27.400 --> 0:21:31.239 will help me with my journey. And so you know, UM, 0:21:31.680 --> 0:21:34.240 women that have been blessed with having children and being 0:21:34.359 --> 0:21:37.960 very fertile may not necessarily understand the struggle and the 0:21:38.000 --> 0:21:40.399 pain and the suffering and the and the everything that 0:21:40.440 --> 0:21:44.119 we've been talking about. So how do you feel, And 0:21:44.280 --> 0:21:46.920 I know this is very sensitive, but how do you 0:21:47.080 --> 0:21:50.960 feel about these laws that are that they're making for women? 0:21:51.080 --> 0:21:54.520 You know, those that are pro choice, pro life? Um, 0:21:55.040 --> 0:21:57.600 how do you feel about these laws? Should we have 0:21:57.760 --> 0:22:00.880 these laws? What what should be done? It shouldn't be done? 0:22:00.920 --> 0:22:06.480 What is your perspective on it? Okay, I'm angry, I'm angry. 0:22:06.720 --> 0:22:12.320 It angers me when there are lawmakers out there who 0:22:12.520 --> 0:22:17.240 think that they're in charge of our motherfucking body. These 0:22:17.280 --> 0:22:21.960 are our bodies, Okay. Now, for example, when I was 0:22:22.080 --> 0:22:27.200 going through the genetic abnormality, and I'm and I'm trying 0:22:27.240 --> 0:22:31.280 to understand what could happen through this pregnancy. The baby 0:22:31.400 --> 0:22:34.359 could make it, the baby could be stillborn, the baby 0:22:34.480 --> 0:22:38.840 could not develop um an ventricle of her heart and 0:22:38.960 --> 0:22:42.440 require open heart surgery upon birth. These are all the 0:22:42.560 --> 0:22:45.399 things that like, we have to educate ourselves now. If 0:22:45.480 --> 0:22:50.359 I didn't have the choice to terminate that pregnancy, I 0:22:50.480 --> 0:22:54.280 could have ended on any of those roads with a stillborn, 0:22:54.920 --> 0:22:57.680 losing it in the later on in the term, like 0:22:57.920 --> 0:23:02.359 third trimester, second trium, but also putting your life in jeopardy, 0:23:02.400 --> 0:23:04.479 because that's another thing. A lot of times when they 0:23:04.520 --> 0:23:06.920 talk about these laws, they talk about the babies and 0:23:07.000 --> 0:23:08.880 this and that, the feat is all these other things. 0:23:08.960 --> 0:23:12.680 But we must understand that a pregnancy is not just 0:23:12.840 --> 0:23:16.239 as light as people think. You know, you're putting your 0:23:16.280 --> 0:23:18.920 whole life on the on the line, like even you're 0:23:18.920 --> 0:23:21.320 giving birth to a child that may come with some 0:23:21.480 --> 0:23:25.280 type of difficulties and issues. There's so many women these 0:23:25.400 --> 0:23:29.560 days and these days that have died in those beds 0:23:29.640 --> 0:23:32.960 giving birth to their children, which obviously they shouldn't have to. 0:23:33.440 --> 0:23:35.480 But that being we have to think about, you know, 0:23:35.600 --> 0:23:38.480 the women behind these children. It's not just about the 0:23:38.560 --> 0:23:40.680 feat is or the child is also about the mother. 0:23:41.000 --> 0:23:43.840 A lot of these pregnancies can be very risky. And 0:23:44.160 --> 0:23:46.680 for example, my mother, my mother died for like a 0:23:46.760 --> 0:23:49.159 minute or two and they literally had to bring her 0:23:49.200 --> 0:23:51.639 back to life while she was giving birth to me. So, 0:23:53.160 --> 0:23:54.760 you know, not a lot of women get to make 0:23:54.800 --> 0:23:58.719 it back. And I do definitely agree that no one 0:23:58.760 --> 0:24:03.200 should be making law, like legal laws for women's body. 0:24:03.440 --> 0:24:09.440 Nonetheless men because bio so you guys don't have the 0:24:09.520 --> 0:24:11.720 rights to say what should happen and what shouldn't happen 0:24:11.760 --> 0:24:13.960