1 00:00:09,560 --> 00:00:09,720 Speaker 1: Hi. 2 00:00:09,960 --> 00:00:13,840 Speaker 2: I'm Laura Vanderkamp. I'm a mother of five, an author, journalist, 3 00:00:13,880 --> 00:00:14,440 Speaker 2: and speaker. 4 00:00:15,320 --> 00:00:18,560 Speaker 3: And I'm Sarah hart Hunger, a mother of three, practicing physician, 5 00:00:18,840 --> 00:00:22,040 Speaker 3: writer and course creator. We are two working parents who 6 00:00:22,120 --> 00:00:24,040 Speaker 3: love our careers and our families. 7 00:00:24,720 --> 00:00:27,360 Speaker 2: Welcome to best of both worlds. Here we talk about 8 00:00:27,360 --> 00:00:30,360 Speaker 2: how real women manage work, family, and time for fun. 9 00:00:30,880 --> 00:00:34,200 Speaker 2: From figuring out childcare to mapping out long term career goals. 10 00:00:34,440 --> 00:00:39,320 Speaker 2: We want you to get the most out of life. 11 00:00:41,120 --> 00:00:42,600 Speaker 3: Welcome to best of both worlds. 12 00:00:42,800 --> 00:00:45,479 Speaker 2: This is Laura. This episode is airing in mid August 13 00:00:45,560 --> 00:00:48,640 Speaker 2: of twenty twenty five. Today, Sarah is going to be 14 00:00:48,720 --> 00:00:52,760 Speaker 2: interviewing doctor Raishmashaw, who is a pediatrician, also a parent 15 00:00:52,840 --> 00:00:56,800 Speaker 2: coach and has expertise in nutrition. I guess plant based 16 00:00:56,880 --> 00:00:59,520 Speaker 2: nutrition in particular and feeding families. 17 00:00:59,800 --> 00:01:00,520 Speaker 3: Got They're going to. 18 00:01:00,520 --> 00:01:05,720 Speaker 2: Talk a lot about family meals and family rituals. Correct Sarah, Yes, 19 00:01:05,840 --> 00:01:08,240 Speaker 2: we are, and I get into some details. So since 20 00:01:08,280 --> 00:01:10,640 Speaker 2: you're not part of the interview, why don't you share 21 00:01:10,680 --> 00:01:13,440 Speaker 2: how your family meals are going lately? Well, we do 22 00:01:13,680 --> 00:01:17,679 Speaker 2: try to eat together. Whoever is in the house is 23 00:01:18,319 --> 00:01:21,280 Speaker 2: generally expected to be at the table at the time 24 00:01:21,319 --> 00:01:25,640 Speaker 2: that dinner is happening. That's different times, Like we don't 25 00:01:25,640 --> 00:01:27,840 Speaker 2: have a set dinner time. It's sort of based on 26 00:01:27,920 --> 00:01:31,479 Speaker 2: the schedule for the day, although I would say it's 27 00:01:31,720 --> 00:01:35,240 Speaker 2: generally sometime between six and seven is when it happens. 28 00:01:36,080 --> 00:01:40,160 Speaker 2: I am relaxed about some things related to family dinner. 29 00:01:40,880 --> 00:01:43,920 Speaker 2: Alex likes to sit at the counter rather than at 30 00:01:43,959 --> 00:01:46,039 Speaker 2: the table with the rest of us. I don't really 31 00:01:46,080 --> 00:01:48,520 Speaker 2: know why, but I pick my battles. He's in the room, 32 00:01:49,400 --> 00:01:52,960 Speaker 2: he's in the same room, so there's that. Henry will 33 00:01:53,000 --> 00:01:56,160 Speaker 2: sometimes sit for about three bites. I had a rule 34 00:01:56,200 --> 00:01:58,280 Speaker 2: at one point that he had to be on his bottom, 35 00:01:58,880 --> 00:02:01,840 Speaker 2: sitting down eating three bites of something healthy that was 36 00:02:01,880 --> 00:02:05,680 Speaker 2: on his plate before he could run up elsewhere in 37 00:02:05,760 --> 00:02:09,320 Speaker 2: the house. And so sometimes he would sort of literally 38 00:02:09,360 --> 00:02:11,040 Speaker 2: be sitting there like wait, because again it was when 39 00:02:11,080 --> 00:02:13,560 Speaker 2: everyone was sitting down, he had to have the three bites. 40 00:02:13,680 --> 00:02:16,880 Speaker 2: So he'd be like Michael's taking his leisurely time filling 41 00:02:16,880 --> 00:02:20,200 Speaker 2: his plate at the stuff, and Henry's sitting there like 42 00:02:20,240 --> 00:02:22,200 Speaker 2: when's daddy gonna sit down so I can eat my 43 00:02:22,200 --> 00:02:26,480 Speaker 2: three bites and go. But we're trying to enforce proper 44 00:02:26,680 --> 00:02:30,960 Speaker 2: behavior at the table here, and we're slowly training people 45 00:02:30,960 --> 00:02:33,000 Speaker 2: with that. We rotate. Another thing we do on the 46 00:02:33,000 --> 00:02:35,519 Speaker 2: other end of dinner is that each kid has a 47 00:02:35,600 --> 00:02:40,160 Speaker 2: night for dishes. That's really only the older four where 48 00:02:40,160 --> 00:02:43,280 Speaker 2: that happens. I don't think Henry's quite ready for doing 49 00:02:43,440 --> 00:02:46,720 Speaker 2: dishes himself yet, but I'm happy to report that the 50 00:02:46,720 --> 00:02:49,120 Speaker 2: older kids just do it. They don't argue about they 51 00:02:49,200 --> 00:02:51,839 Speaker 2: know that. Yeah, so far, this will obviously have to change. 52 00:02:51,840 --> 00:02:54,679 Speaker 2: But Monday is Jasper, Tuesday is Sam, Wednesday is Ruth, 53 00:02:54,760 --> 00:02:58,040 Speaker 2: Thursday is Alex. You do the dishes on that night. 54 00:02:58,080 --> 00:03:02,240 Speaker 2: Alex sometimes needs a little assistance, but it's good. It's 55 00:03:02,320 --> 00:03:03,560 Speaker 2: nice to not have to do it. 56 00:03:04,240 --> 00:03:08,640 Speaker 3: I love it. I'm like, I need some more kids. 57 00:03:08,680 --> 00:03:11,760 Speaker 2: And so you guys do talk selective eating, correct I 58 00:03:11,800 --> 00:03:12,160 Speaker 2: hear that. 59 00:03:12,600 --> 00:03:14,959 Speaker 3: Yes, we do have some discussions about selective eating, and 60 00:03:15,000 --> 00:03:18,880 Speaker 3: I think you will approve of her very gentle approach 61 00:03:18,960 --> 00:03:21,880 Speaker 3: and philosophy. How is that going. I know that that 62 00:03:21,919 --> 00:03:24,840 Speaker 3: has been something There's been multiple selective eaters in your household, 63 00:03:24,919 --> 00:03:25,440 Speaker 3: isn't that right? 64 00:03:25,639 --> 00:03:28,960 Speaker 2: Yeah? Yeah, I mean I'm pretty relaxed about this too. 65 00:03:29,000 --> 00:03:33,280 Speaker 2: I mean, it is one of my pet peeves of parenting, 66 00:03:33,320 --> 00:03:37,320 Speaker 2: writing that people seem to feel sometimes that they've done 67 00:03:37,560 --> 00:03:43,480 Speaker 2: something that makes their kids adventurous eaters versus more selective ones. 68 00:03:43,520 --> 00:03:48,000 Speaker 2: That is clearly the result of bad parenting. Because the 69 00:03:48,120 --> 00:03:51,600 Speaker 2: upside of having five children is you could know that 70 00:03:51,640 --> 00:03:54,160 Speaker 2: you didn't do anything different but from one to the other, 71 00:03:54,240 --> 00:03:57,280 Speaker 2: and yet their tastes are incredibly different in what they 72 00:03:57,280 --> 00:04:00,240 Speaker 2: are willing to eat what they enjoy. 73 00:04:00,800 --> 00:04:02,320 Speaker 3: That you can have a child who. 74 00:04:02,240 --> 00:04:08,120 Speaker 2: Likes spicy mustards and basalmic vinaigrettes and ethnic food, and 75 00:04:08,160 --> 00:04:11,440 Speaker 2: you can have another child who will only eat fruit 76 00:04:11,440 --> 00:04:15,640 Speaker 2: in the form of apple sauce. And you know, I 77 00:04:15,680 --> 00:04:18,920 Speaker 2: don't believe that I was an awesome parent for one 78 00:04:19,000 --> 00:04:21,440 Speaker 2: and a crappy parent for the other, And so I'm 79 00:04:21,480 --> 00:04:25,200 Speaker 2: more inclined to believe that people are who they are, 80 00:04:25,320 --> 00:04:28,200 Speaker 2: and sometimes you just have to work with what they 81 00:04:28,200 --> 00:04:31,920 Speaker 2: are and try to make things happen as they can 82 00:04:32,000 --> 00:04:35,640 Speaker 2: within that it also can change over time. I'm pretty 83 00:04:35,640 --> 00:04:38,279 Speaker 2: sure I've told the story on here of my little 84 00:04:38,279 --> 00:04:43,080 Speaker 2: brother being a highly selective eater growing up and into 85 00:04:43,240 --> 00:04:47,400 Speaker 2: young adulthood, and then at some point he's got a 86 00:04:47,440 --> 00:04:51,400 Speaker 2: great tech job living in San Francisco and a young 87 00:04:51,440 --> 00:04:53,680 Speaker 2: man in possession of a good fortune must soon be 88 00:04:53,720 --> 00:04:55,440 Speaker 2: in want of a wife. Is that the start to 89 00:04:55,600 --> 00:05:00,640 Speaker 2: Jane Austen pride and prejudice, And it turns out that 90 00:05:00,960 --> 00:05:03,200 Speaker 2: young women do not always wish to go out for pizza, 91 00:05:03,279 --> 00:05:08,640 Speaker 2: so eventually you have to deal with that. And I'm 92 00:05:08,680 --> 00:05:11,440 Speaker 2: happy to report that he is both married now and 93 00:05:11,760 --> 00:05:13,120 Speaker 2: also eats a lot of different things. 94 00:05:13,120 --> 00:05:14,960 Speaker 3: So there is hope. 95 00:05:15,480 --> 00:05:19,400 Speaker 2: And I like to believe that my selective leader, the 96 00:05:19,440 --> 00:05:22,560 Speaker 2: highly selective leader in particular, will see that same success. 97 00:05:22,600 --> 00:05:27,440 Speaker 3: Someday. They should talk someday. 98 00:05:27,480 --> 00:05:31,360 Speaker 2: Someday, I don't know anyway it will happen. It will happen, 99 00:05:31,440 --> 00:05:35,200 Speaker 2: but kids are different. We work with what we've got 100 00:05:35,200 --> 00:05:37,760 Speaker 2: to So I'm excited to hear what doctor Rachma Shaw 101 00:05:37,800 --> 00:05:38,400 Speaker 2: has to say. 102 00:05:39,080 --> 00:05:42,359 Speaker 3: Well, I am so excited to welcome Rechma Shaw, doctor 103 00:05:42,440 --> 00:05:47,320 Speaker 3: Rachmashaw to the podcast. A fellow pediatrician. Chema is a pediatrician, 104 00:05:47,440 --> 00:05:50,560 Speaker 3: a parent coach, and has expertise in plant based nutrition 105 00:05:50,880 --> 00:05:53,280 Speaker 3: and feeding families. And we know at the start of 106 00:05:53,320 --> 00:05:57,120 Speaker 3: the school year that dinner is often on everyone's minds, 107 00:05:57,160 --> 00:05:59,680 Speaker 3: but we're going to even talk about dinner and beyond 108 00:06:00,160 --> 00:06:02,480 Speaker 3: Doctor Rachmshaw, So welcome to the show. 109 00:06:03,200 --> 00:06:05,000 Speaker 1: Thanks so much for having me. I'm really looking forward 110 00:06:05,000 --> 00:06:06,360 Speaker 1: to this conversation. 111 00:06:06,600 --> 00:06:09,080 Speaker 3: So am I. And I did want to provide you 112 00:06:09,160 --> 00:06:12,080 Speaker 3: with the tiny bit of my own like disclaimer stuff 113 00:06:12,080 --> 00:06:15,360 Speaker 3: before we get into the discussion, just because I've talked 114 00:06:15,360 --> 00:06:19,800 Speaker 3: about my family's kind of dinner habits before, and hey, 115 00:06:19,920 --> 00:06:22,960 Speaker 3: maybe I'll end up with some advice from you as well. 116 00:06:23,600 --> 00:06:26,800 Speaker 3: But just for some background, my husband's a surgeon, I'm 117 00:06:26,800 --> 00:06:29,839 Speaker 3: a pediatric endocrinologist. We have three kids between the ages 118 00:06:29,880 --> 00:06:33,159 Speaker 3: of seven and thirteen, and we've talked on this podcast 119 00:06:33,200 --> 00:06:37,320 Speaker 3: a bunch about how family dinner can we think sometimes 120 00:06:37,360 --> 00:06:41,880 Speaker 3: be kind of like over emphasized, because in reality sometimes 121 00:06:41,880 --> 00:06:44,200 Speaker 3: it's harder to make that work for some families and 122 00:06:44,279 --> 00:06:46,960 Speaker 3: for others, and there can be other ways that you 123 00:06:47,080 --> 00:06:49,039 Speaker 3: might sub for that, and I am sure you have 124 00:06:49,080 --> 00:06:52,000 Speaker 3: a lot of insight there, and I would say, as 125 00:06:52,040 --> 00:06:55,480 Speaker 3: of now, we have a true family dinner once a week, 126 00:06:56,080 --> 00:06:58,720 Speaker 3: then often another time a week, usually on the weekends 127 00:06:58,800 --> 00:07:00,599 Speaker 3: we might all eat out, and then the rest of 128 00:07:00,600 --> 00:07:04,240 Speaker 3: the week nights it's usually like me and anywhere from 129 00:07:04,320 --> 00:07:07,760 Speaker 3: zero to two kids because somebody is out doing something else. 130 00:07:08,000 --> 00:07:11,040 Speaker 3: My husband usually comes home later, So that's like where 131 00:07:11,080 --> 00:07:13,000 Speaker 3: I am. So maybe you're like, oh my gosh, what 132 00:07:13,120 --> 00:07:16,440 Speaker 3: a disaster. I will say we are lucky, and that 133 00:07:16,520 --> 00:07:18,720 Speaker 3: my kids do enjoy a lot of different types of food, 134 00:07:18,760 --> 00:07:20,880 Speaker 3: so with like, the food battles aren't really a thing. 135 00:07:21,080 --> 00:07:25,320 Speaker 3: My kids will eat vegetables like they're pretty reasonably non picky. 136 00:07:25,520 --> 00:07:26,960 Speaker 3: So we're going to talk about that as well. But 137 00:07:27,680 --> 00:07:29,440 Speaker 3: I don't know, how does that strike you off the bat. 138 00:07:29,920 --> 00:07:32,760 Speaker 1: I actually think it's the perfect place to start, because 139 00:07:32,800 --> 00:07:35,600 Speaker 1: I think the goal of family dinner it's not to 140 00:07:35,760 --> 00:07:38,000 Speaker 1: just chuck something off of our list of things to do. 141 00:07:38,120 --> 00:07:42,480 Speaker 1: It's actually to really foster a sense of connection and 142 00:07:42,840 --> 00:07:46,200 Speaker 1: thoughtfulness around food and meal times. And so my definition 143 00:07:46,240 --> 00:07:49,320 Speaker 1: of family meals does not mean that all the members 144 00:07:49,360 --> 00:07:51,520 Speaker 1: of the family are sitting down precisely at six point 145 00:07:51,520 --> 00:07:55,040 Speaker 1: thirty eating the same thing with perfect manners. Nobody does 146 00:07:55,120 --> 00:07:58,120 Speaker 1: family dinner like that. My definition of family dinner, or 147 00:07:58,240 --> 00:08:00,920 Speaker 1: any family meal for that matter, is that whoever is 148 00:08:00,960 --> 00:08:04,760 Speaker 1: at home is sitting together at the table in conversation, 149 00:08:05,640 --> 00:08:08,960 Speaker 1: eating food together. And so if it's one child, that 150 00:08:09,000 --> 00:08:11,880 Speaker 1: counts as family dinner in my mind, and I think 151 00:08:11,960 --> 00:08:14,280 Speaker 1: that as parents. We really have to take the pressure 152 00:08:14,400 --> 00:08:19,200 Speaker 1: off of having to do everything perfectly because our kids 153 00:08:19,240 --> 00:08:22,280 Speaker 1: will pick up on that. And so if you actually 154 00:08:22,360 --> 00:08:25,640 Speaker 1: end up having family dinner where everyone, every single member 155 00:08:25,640 --> 00:08:28,520 Speaker 1: of the family is together and everyone is feeling stressed 156 00:08:28,520 --> 00:08:31,240 Speaker 1: about it, you've defeated the purpose of family dinner. So, 157 00:08:31,440 --> 00:08:34,000 Speaker 1: believe it or not, you are actually having family dinner 158 00:08:34,480 --> 00:08:35,760 Speaker 1: pretty much every night of the week. 159 00:08:36,520 --> 00:08:38,040 Speaker 3: I love this conversation already. 160 00:08:38,720 --> 00:08:43,559 Speaker 1: Yeah, so that's the first disclaimer. It's whoever is at home. 161 00:08:44,440 --> 00:08:48,040 Speaker 1: It's really to combat the idea that you're eating dinner 162 00:08:48,760 --> 00:08:50,840 Speaker 1: at the dinner table, your kids eating dinner in front 163 00:08:50,840 --> 00:08:53,079 Speaker 1: of their computer screen in their room. That doesn't work 164 00:08:53,120 --> 00:08:56,240 Speaker 1: as family dinner. But if you're pausing whoever's in the house. 165 00:08:56,280 --> 00:09:00,599 Speaker 1: And I've had teenagers in the house with multiple sports activities, 166 00:09:00,600 --> 00:09:03,599 Speaker 1: and sometimes family dinner means that we're not going to 167 00:09:03,640 --> 00:09:05,720 Speaker 1: wait for the kid that's getting home at eight thirty 168 00:09:05,800 --> 00:09:09,400 Speaker 1: or nine from practice. But when that kid does come home, 169 00:09:09,920 --> 00:09:12,000 Speaker 1: they're sitting down for dinner, and I'm going to sit 170 00:09:12,080 --> 00:09:14,280 Speaker 1: and have a conversation. That counts as family dinner too. 171 00:09:14,559 --> 00:09:17,240 Speaker 1: So it's really letting go of this idea of perfection 172 00:09:17,360 --> 00:09:19,960 Speaker 1: of having a home cooked meal at the same time, 173 00:09:20,200 --> 00:09:23,400 Speaker 1: everybody has to be there with great manners and say 174 00:09:23,440 --> 00:09:26,200 Speaker 1: thank you mom for making a delicious meal that happens 175 00:09:26,240 --> 00:09:29,600 Speaker 1: in zero percent of family. So you are doing family 176 00:09:29,640 --> 00:09:31,840 Speaker 1: meal really beautifully awesome. 177 00:09:32,000 --> 00:09:34,800 Speaker 3: Okay, well, now that we've dealt with my issues, and 178 00:09:34,880 --> 00:09:37,920 Speaker 3: I love that love. I love the more flexible approach, 179 00:09:37,960 --> 00:09:41,160 Speaker 3: the open mindedness, and I guess yeah, it does reflect 180 00:09:41,160 --> 00:09:45,960 Speaker 3: what's actually important about being together, the presence versus like 181 00:09:46,000 --> 00:09:51,439 Speaker 3: some specific imagery that probably came from like nineteen fifty. Anyway, Yeah, I. 182 00:09:51,400 --> 00:09:54,840 Speaker 1: Remember one time when my kids were much younger, the 183 00:09:54,880 --> 00:09:57,880 Speaker 1: sports and other activities. I remember sometimes family dinner would 184 00:09:57,880 --> 00:09:59,960 Speaker 1: be me and my younger child having a little pit 185 00:10:00,120 --> 00:10:02,600 Speaker 1: make dinner while my older child was at practice. So 186 00:10:02,920 --> 00:10:05,240 Speaker 1: you just have to be creative. And the point really 187 00:10:05,400 --> 00:10:08,080 Speaker 1: is is are you present, are you sharing a meal? 188 00:10:08,200 --> 00:10:11,400 Speaker 1: Are you having conversations? And is it a pleasant experience 189 00:10:11,480 --> 00:10:12,920 Speaker 1: for both you and your children? 190 00:10:13,600 --> 00:10:15,719 Speaker 3: Okay, well, then let's start there, because I think a 191 00:10:15,880 --> 00:10:19,120 Speaker 3: common challenge we get in this realm is that the 192 00:10:19,160 --> 00:10:21,880 Speaker 3: kids are really young, or maybe there's even just one 193 00:10:21,960 --> 00:10:23,960 Speaker 3: really young kid, because you know, you can have a 194 00:10:23,960 --> 00:10:25,880 Speaker 3: couple of school age kids but you throw an eighteen 195 00:10:25,920 --> 00:10:27,920 Speaker 3: month old in there, and like all of a sudden, 196 00:10:28,640 --> 00:10:33,920 Speaker 3: things are wildly different. Stuff is being thrones, there's crying, whatever. 197 00:10:34,320 --> 00:10:36,320 Speaker 3: So what would you say to families who are like, 198 00:10:36,400 --> 00:10:39,199 Speaker 3: we keep trying to make it work and every time 199 00:10:39,280 --> 00:10:42,160 Speaker 3: we end up disappointed because we just end up with 200 00:10:42,200 --> 00:10:45,000 Speaker 3: tantrums at the table and it's misery. What advice do 201 00:10:45,040 --> 00:10:46,319 Speaker 3: you have for that situation? 202 00:10:46,920 --> 00:10:49,480 Speaker 1: Yeah, and I think it's really sort of being curious 203 00:10:49,559 --> 00:10:53,320 Speaker 1: about where you think the friction is. So and for 204 00:10:53,480 --> 00:10:55,240 Speaker 1: every family it's going to look a little bit different. 205 00:10:55,280 --> 00:10:57,559 Speaker 1: And that's why I think really like a personalized conversation. 206 00:10:58,600 --> 00:11:00,840 Speaker 1: There's no one size fits all model when it comes 207 00:11:00,840 --> 00:11:03,760 Speaker 1: to pailing nails. So if you notice that your eighteen 208 00:11:03,760 --> 00:11:05,840 Speaker 1: month old is starting out okay at the table, but 209 00:11:06,120 --> 00:11:09,360 Speaker 1: fifteen minutes in, twenty minutes in, they're just done and 210 00:11:09,400 --> 00:11:11,360 Speaker 1: ready to be out of there, it might be changing 211 00:11:11,360 --> 00:11:14,560 Speaker 1: your expectations of how long can an eighteen month old 212 00:11:14,600 --> 00:11:17,760 Speaker 1: reasonably sit at the table. The average American family spends 213 00:11:18,040 --> 00:11:21,319 Speaker 1: seventeen minutes at the dinner table, So wanting to have 214 00:11:21,360 --> 00:11:23,200 Speaker 1: your eighteen month old, two year old, or even four 215 00:11:23,280 --> 00:11:25,960 Speaker 1: year old sit at the table engaging in pleasant conversation 216 00:11:26,040 --> 00:11:28,839 Speaker 1: for half an hour might be an unrealistic expectation. So 217 00:11:28,880 --> 00:11:34,160 Speaker 1: the first thing is set reasonable expectations and they pick 218 00:11:34,240 --> 00:11:36,480 Speaker 1: up on our stress. So if you're really anxious and 219 00:11:36,559 --> 00:11:39,200 Speaker 1: you're always correcting them around the behavior at the table, 220 00:11:39,760 --> 00:11:42,800 Speaker 1: it's going to really create a tense environment. So come 221 00:11:42,840 --> 00:11:45,800 Speaker 1: to the table, have reasonable expectations, and then when you're 222 00:11:45,840 --> 00:11:48,920 Speaker 1: noticing if they keep throwing food off the table, maybe 223 00:11:48,920 --> 00:11:50,920 Speaker 1: you need to start with a really small portion size 224 00:11:50,960 --> 00:11:53,840 Speaker 1: and then kind of add in from there. So focusing 225 00:11:53,840 --> 00:11:57,040 Speaker 1: it in on where is the friction, having reasonable expectations, 226 00:11:57,240 --> 00:11:59,959 Speaker 1: and then getting really curious and creative about the problem 227 00:12:00,120 --> 00:12:02,840 Speaker 1: solving you can do. So, whether it's serving smaller portions 228 00:12:03,920 --> 00:12:05,920 Speaker 1: once they're done with their meal, maybe the eighteen month 229 00:12:05,960 --> 00:12:08,440 Speaker 1: old is allowed to play with some blocks at the table, 230 00:12:08,440 --> 00:12:10,400 Speaker 1: whether rest of the people finish it, or so really 231 00:12:10,400 --> 00:12:13,800 Speaker 1: coming up with some creative solutions to whatever point of 232 00:12:13,840 --> 00:12:15,880 Speaker 1: friction you're facing. But I think the number one thing 233 00:12:15,960 --> 00:12:19,080 Speaker 1: is really having realistic expectations of what your child can 234 00:12:19,120 --> 00:12:19,680 Speaker 1: reasonably do. 235 00:12:20,640 --> 00:12:23,880 Speaker 3: Totally makes sense. Yeah, all right, Well, the next common dilemma, 236 00:12:23,880 --> 00:12:26,880 Speaker 3: and I'm sure you saw this one coming, is very 237 00:12:26,920 --> 00:12:32,040 Speaker 3: selective eaters. My co host Laura has five children, and 238 00:12:32,559 --> 00:12:34,400 Speaker 3: some of them are not very selective, and some of 239 00:12:34,440 --> 00:12:38,880 Speaker 3: them are extremely selective, and she uses that, I think 240 00:12:38,960 --> 00:12:41,280 Speaker 3: to reassure people sometimes that people love to be like, 241 00:12:41,360 --> 00:12:43,040 Speaker 3: it's what you did, and she's like, I didn't do 242 00:12:43,160 --> 00:12:48,559 Speaker 3: anything different. They are their own people, So it can 243 00:12:48,679 --> 00:12:50,800 Speaker 3: still be a certainly a point of friction and a 244 00:12:50,800 --> 00:12:53,320 Speaker 3: lot of families, especially when you're trying to serve things 245 00:12:53,320 --> 00:12:56,480 Speaker 3: that are not going to cause a lot of drama. So, yeah, 246 00:12:56,640 --> 00:12:59,200 Speaker 3: are your go to strategies for those with selective eaters 247 00:12:59,240 --> 00:12:59,760 Speaker 3: in the family. 248 00:13:00,640 --> 00:13:02,800 Speaker 1: So I think the first thing is it really depends 249 00:13:02,800 --> 00:13:05,679 Speaker 1: on how selective we're talking. So there's some kids that 250 00:13:05,720 --> 00:13:08,439 Speaker 1: are sort of garden variety I won't eat green things 251 00:13:08,559 --> 00:13:10,880 Speaker 1: or this week I like this, and that's what I 252 00:13:10,920 --> 00:13:12,600 Speaker 1: call garden riety picky eating, and there's a lot of 253 00:13:12,600 --> 00:13:17,920 Speaker 1: strategies for that. Some kids have highly selective eating, often 254 00:13:17,920 --> 00:13:21,440 Speaker 1: with underlying neurodevelopmental or medical issues. So if you're dealing 255 00:13:21,520 --> 00:13:25,960 Speaker 1: with a kid who perhaps has autism or significant food 256 00:13:26,000 --> 00:13:30,040 Speaker 1: allergies or swallowing dysfunction, these are kids that probably need 257 00:13:30,080 --> 00:13:34,280 Speaker 1: some specialized support, whether it's an intervention from a gastreenrologist, 258 00:13:34,520 --> 00:13:39,800 Speaker 1: a feeding therapist, behavioral therapist, neure developmental pediatricians. And it 259 00:13:39,880 --> 00:13:41,920 Speaker 1: represents about one to five percent of kids who have 260 00:13:42,040 --> 00:13:45,480 Speaker 1: that really highly selective eating. It's not a parenting issue, 261 00:13:45,720 --> 00:13:47,679 Speaker 1: and it's not a kid doing something wrong issue. It's 262 00:13:47,920 --> 00:13:51,120 Speaker 1: the families often need a lot more support the other 263 00:13:51,480 --> 00:13:53,800 Speaker 1: sort of garden variety picky eating. I think it comes 264 00:13:53,840 --> 00:13:57,320 Speaker 1: down to two things. One is individual pat child temperament. 265 00:13:57,559 --> 00:14:00,360 Speaker 1: Some kids are just more selective and some kids are 266 00:14:00,440 --> 00:14:02,920 Speaker 1: more adventurous, and that's not really anything that you can 267 00:14:03,040 --> 00:14:06,360 Speaker 1: necessarily change. It's kind of like a personality thing. Some 268 00:14:06,520 --> 00:14:08,360 Speaker 1: kids are more outgoing and some kids are a little 269 00:14:08,360 --> 00:14:11,120 Speaker 1: bit more introverted. And so knowing the temperament of your child, 270 00:14:11,400 --> 00:14:13,240 Speaker 1: are they really eager to try new things or are 271 00:14:13,280 --> 00:14:15,679 Speaker 1: they really that slow to warm, they need a lot 272 00:14:15,760 --> 00:14:17,920 Speaker 1: more exposure. So that's the first part, and then the 273 00:14:18,000 --> 00:14:20,880 Speaker 1: second part really is the parental response to that. So 274 00:14:21,280 --> 00:14:23,480 Speaker 1: what happens is you might have a garden variety picky 275 00:14:23,520 --> 00:14:25,480 Speaker 1: eater and they need a little bit more support, they 276 00:14:25,560 --> 00:14:28,240 Speaker 1: need a little bit more encouragement, and the parent can 277 00:14:28,320 --> 00:14:31,640 Speaker 1: kind of overreact and then you start this sort of 278 00:14:31,760 --> 00:14:36,280 Speaker 1: battle situation. Where the parents are either bribing, they're negotiating, 279 00:14:36,600 --> 00:14:41,720 Speaker 1: they're forcing, they're making dessert contingent upon how many mites 280 00:14:41,720 --> 00:14:43,800 Speaker 1: of broccoli you have. So you take sort of a 281 00:14:43,880 --> 00:14:48,120 Speaker 1: mild feeding difficulty and you just explode it by the 282 00:14:48,200 --> 00:14:50,960 Speaker 1: parents reaction. And parents are very well meaning. They're doing 283 00:14:51,000 --> 00:14:53,560 Speaker 1: these strategies because they're afraid their kids aren't eating a 284 00:14:53,680 --> 00:14:55,560 Speaker 1: variety of foods, they're not getting the new dreams. So 285 00:14:55,960 --> 00:14:58,520 Speaker 1: I've heard parents saying, I'll do anything. I'll stand upside 286 00:14:58,560 --> 00:15:00,200 Speaker 1: down for twenty minutes if that's what it it takes 287 00:15:00,240 --> 00:15:02,600 Speaker 1: to get my kid to eat more broccoli or fill 288 00:15:02,640 --> 00:15:05,960 Speaker 1: in the bank blank. So what I often recommend is 289 00:15:06,080 --> 00:15:09,040 Speaker 1: that parents sort of backtrack some of the pressure techniques. 290 00:15:09,080 --> 00:15:12,320 Speaker 1: And it feels really scary because oftentimes parents will say, well, 291 00:15:12,360 --> 00:15:15,160 Speaker 1: if I don't promise them this, or threaten this, or 292 00:15:15,280 --> 00:15:19,240 Speaker 1: negotiate this, they won't eat any vegetable for weeks on end. 293 00:15:19,600 --> 00:15:21,680 Speaker 1: And the truth is, I found time and time again, 294 00:15:21,960 --> 00:15:24,560 Speaker 1: is that if parents take the pressure off and they 295 00:15:24,680 --> 00:15:28,920 Speaker 1: go back to core feeding dynamics principles of the division 296 00:15:28,920 --> 00:15:32,120 Speaker 1: of responsibility which we learned in pediatrics, which is parents 297 00:15:32,240 --> 00:15:35,120 Speaker 1: decide the when, the what, and the where of eating, 298 00:15:35,200 --> 00:15:36,840 Speaker 1: and then it's up to the child to decide how 299 00:15:36,960 --> 00:15:39,240 Speaker 1: much and whether they're going to eat the foods. It 300 00:15:39,400 --> 00:15:42,720 Speaker 1: seems really scary at first, but the less pressure that 301 00:15:43,000 --> 00:15:46,640 Speaker 1: kids eat, the more capable they are to try new foods. 302 00:15:46,920 --> 00:15:48,640 Speaker 1: And if you've got the kid that has the more 303 00:15:48,720 --> 00:15:51,320 Speaker 1: selective temperament, just knowing that it's going to take a 304 00:15:51,440 --> 00:15:56,360 Speaker 1: lot more exposures, a lot more pleasant experiences before they're 305 00:15:56,400 --> 00:15:58,120 Speaker 1: going to try the food. And I often this is 306 00:15:58,160 --> 00:15:59,920 Speaker 1: not just for feeding, but this is for general parenting. 307 00:16:00,120 --> 00:16:02,840 Speaker 1: It's like parenting the child you have rather than the 308 00:16:02,920 --> 00:16:05,080 Speaker 1: child you wish you had or the traits that you wish. 309 00:16:05,320 --> 00:16:08,520 Speaker 1: We all want adventurous eaters, but sometimes if you have 310 00:16:08,560 --> 00:16:10,480 Speaker 1: a child that's really got selective eating, they just have 311 00:16:10,600 --> 00:16:12,840 Speaker 1: that temperament, you actually have to go slower and have 312 00:16:12,960 --> 00:16:15,160 Speaker 1: more patience, which is often not easy. 313 00:16:15,000 --> 00:16:18,320 Speaker 3: I know, which totally makes sense. I sometimes also feel 314 00:16:18,360 --> 00:16:21,640 Speaker 3: like sometimes people are looking for some badge that their 315 00:16:21,720 --> 00:16:24,240 Speaker 3: kid eats X, Y Z, you know, food, and the 316 00:16:24,320 --> 00:16:27,000 Speaker 3: truth is, if it's not interfering with their lives and 317 00:16:27,040 --> 00:16:30,560 Speaker 3: they're getting enough nutrition overall, like looking zooming out of 318 00:16:30,600 --> 00:16:32,840 Speaker 3: the big picture, maybe it's like less of a problem 319 00:16:32,880 --> 00:16:35,240 Speaker 3: which might take some of the pressure off, which would, paradoxically, 320 00:16:35,640 --> 00:16:37,880 Speaker 3: from what I hear you saying, maybe even improve things. 321 00:16:38,400 --> 00:16:41,440 Speaker 1: Yeah, And I think it's like parents, like we grade 322 00:16:41,480 --> 00:16:45,040 Speaker 1: ourselves very harshly on all the things many how much wealthly, 323 00:16:45,120 --> 00:16:47,960 Speaker 1: how much sleep, how much screen time, and we can 324 00:16:48,160 --> 00:16:49,960 Speaker 1: just sort of pat ourselves on the back and say 325 00:16:50,000 --> 00:16:52,920 Speaker 1: we're doing the best that we can and be open 326 00:16:52,960 --> 00:16:55,600 Speaker 1: to the possibility that your child is actually going to 327 00:16:55,720 --> 00:16:58,800 Speaker 1: have a normal diet as they are adults, because I 328 00:16:58,840 --> 00:17:00,800 Speaker 1: know a lot of parents are thinking, like, I'm going 329 00:17:00,840 --> 00:17:02,360 Speaker 1: to have a kid that never eats a vegetable in 330 00:17:02,360 --> 00:17:05,200 Speaker 1: their entire life, and that's not the case. I think 331 00:17:05,240 --> 00:17:08,840 Speaker 1: that oftentimes, really the number one thing that parents can 332 00:17:08,880 --> 00:17:11,560 Speaker 1: do is to make the eating environment, the dinner table, 333 00:17:11,640 --> 00:17:15,639 Speaker 1: a pleasant environment, and it gives kids the permission to 334 00:17:16,160 --> 00:17:18,680 Speaker 1: relax and be able to try new foods because they're 335 00:17:18,680 --> 00:17:20,639 Speaker 1: not feeling so much pressure around it. 336 00:17:21,440 --> 00:17:22,840 Speaker 3: I love that. Well, we're going to take a quick 337 00:17:22,920 --> 00:17:25,000 Speaker 3: break and be back with a few more dilemmas, maybe 338 00:17:25,080 --> 00:17:39,879 Speaker 3: for some older kids. All right, well, are back, and 339 00:17:39,920 --> 00:17:42,960 Speaker 3: I already hinted at one of these fairly common dilemmas 340 00:17:43,000 --> 00:17:45,879 Speaker 3: that can get in the way of the family table 341 00:17:46,000 --> 00:17:49,800 Speaker 3: or the family meal. But many kids these days have 342 00:17:50,080 --> 00:17:52,479 Speaker 3: a lot of activities, and I do feel like there 343 00:17:52,560 --> 00:17:55,159 Speaker 3: is this very common arc where people say, I am 344 00:17:55,240 --> 00:17:58,320 Speaker 3: not going to do that. I value my evenings, I 345 00:17:58,400 --> 00:17:59,800 Speaker 3: want to be home, so I'm not going to put 346 00:17:59,800 --> 00:18:01,720 Speaker 3: my kid in x y Z. But then their kids 347 00:18:01,760 --> 00:18:03,159 Speaker 3: friends end up at X y Z and their kid 348 00:18:03,200 --> 00:18:05,920 Speaker 3: wants to be an x y Z and you're like, okay, yeah, 349 00:18:06,400 --> 00:18:08,919 Speaker 3: And I'm absolutely one of those people. I think I said, oh, 350 00:18:08,920 --> 00:18:10,240 Speaker 3: we're not going to do that much, and I ended 351 00:18:10,280 --> 00:18:13,159 Speaker 3: up with like a competitive gymnast and a travel soccer 352 00:18:13,359 --> 00:18:18,040 Speaker 3: player at one point. So okay, knowing that, how can 353 00:18:18,119 --> 00:18:22,080 Speaker 3: we still cultivate some of the family dinner feel in 354 00:18:22,200 --> 00:18:25,200 Speaker 3: a context where everyone might be going in different directions. 355 00:18:26,160 --> 00:18:27,840 Speaker 1: Yeah, And I think this is really going to depend 356 00:18:27,920 --> 00:18:29,800 Speaker 1: on the age of your children. So when you have 357 00:18:29,920 --> 00:18:31,800 Speaker 1: kids that are younger and they need to have, like 358 00:18:32,359 --> 00:18:34,840 Speaker 1: especially if you have spanning younger and older kids, and 359 00:18:34,920 --> 00:18:36,840 Speaker 1: the younger kids really need their bedtime and you want 360 00:18:36,880 --> 00:18:38,399 Speaker 1: to make sure you get all the things in, it 361 00:18:38,560 --> 00:18:41,760 Speaker 1: might mean that you're doing sort of different dinner times 362 00:18:41,920 --> 00:18:45,159 Speaker 1: for different people. But as their kids get older, you 363 00:18:45,280 --> 00:18:47,560 Speaker 1: can sort of if your family can tolerate a little 364 00:18:47,600 --> 00:18:49,520 Speaker 1: bit later of a dinner, that might be a way 365 00:18:49,560 --> 00:18:51,640 Speaker 1: to sort of include everybody. And that's certainly what we did. 366 00:18:52,000 --> 00:18:54,680 Speaker 1: We would push dinner back and so we could get 367 00:18:54,760 --> 00:18:56,560 Speaker 1: all the kids at the and for our family, that 368 00:18:56,720 --> 00:18:58,400 Speaker 1: was a real priority, So I was willing to push 369 00:18:58,440 --> 00:19:00,760 Speaker 1: dinner back. For some families, it doesn't working. You just 370 00:19:00,960 --> 00:19:04,080 Speaker 1: do the best that you can. I think limiting sports 371 00:19:04,119 --> 00:19:06,800 Speaker 1: can definitely be one approach, and many families have found 372 00:19:06,840 --> 00:19:09,240 Speaker 1: success in that. Our family, i think is more like 373 00:19:09,320 --> 00:19:12,200 Speaker 1: your family. If our kids were committed to an activity, 374 00:19:12,680 --> 00:19:16,760 Speaker 1: they showed an aptitude or a real desire to participate. 375 00:19:17,520 --> 00:19:21,080 Speaker 1: As long as it wasn't interfering with their other important 376 00:19:21,119 --> 00:19:23,680 Speaker 1: things like sleep and friendships and things like that, we 377 00:19:23,840 --> 00:19:27,800 Speaker 1: tended to let them have the experiences. And for one 378 00:19:27,840 --> 00:19:30,480 Speaker 1: of my kids, for both my kids, actually their sports 379 00:19:30,520 --> 00:19:34,119 Speaker 1: activities ended up being a really great source of community 380 00:19:34,200 --> 00:19:38,800 Speaker 1: and friendship and leadership skills and commitment and all these 381 00:19:38,840 --> 00:19:40,560 Speaker 1: things that we really want our children to have. So 382 00:19:40,880 --> 00:19:42,960 Speaker 1: every family's going to have to find their balance with that. 383 00:19:44,119 --> 00:19:46,560 Speaker 1: One of the things actually from a preparation maybe we'll 384 00:19:46,600 --> 00:19:49,119 Speaker 1: touch on this is I think making it as easy 385 00:19:49,600 --> 00:19:53,280 Speaker 1: as possible for about six to seven to eight windows, 386 00:19:53,320 --> 00:19:55,720 Speaker 1: So if that means prepping some ingredients ahead of time, 387 00:19:56,000 --> 00:19:58,679 Speaker 1: having some quick, easy go to meals that don't require 388 00:19:59,720 --> 00:20:02,040 Speaker 1: my was when the kids were ready to eat, to 389 00:20:02,119 --> 00:20:04,600 Speaker 1: have dinner ready, so there wasn't that extra time of 390 00:20:04,760 --> 00:20:06,800 Speaker 1: like we just got home from soccer, Now we have 391 00:20:06,920 --> 00:20:08,760 Speaker 1: to think about what's going to happen for dinner. So 392 00:20:08,760 --> 00:20:11,360 Speaker 1: I think some amount of just probably feeds really into 393 00:20:11,440 --> 00:20:15,800 Speaker 1: your sphere of excellence and influences some planning and some 394 00:20:15,920 --> 00:20:19,800 Speaker 1: preparations so that you're not planning to decide what's for 395 00:20:19,880 --> 00:20:22,040 Speaker 1: dinner at six thirty when everybody's already hungry. 396 00:20:23,240 --> 00:20:25,920 Speaker 3: And there's definitely certain type even getting into the weeds, 397 00:20:25,960 --> 00:20:27,760 Speaker 3: like certain types of meals that are easier to like 398 00:20:28,119 --> 00:20:30,320 Speaker 3: maybe serve over two shifts, or like you know, you 399 00:20:30,400 --> 00:20:32,160 Speaker 3: have younger ones, you can give it to them at six, 400 00:20:32,240 --> 00:20:34,560 Speaker 3: but it's very easy to like keep the crock put 401 00:20:34,640 --> 00:20:36,480 Speaker 3: on and it's still hot at eight thirty when everyone 402 00:20:36,560 --> 00:20:39,760 Speaker 3: gets back from soccer or whatever. So even the logistics 403 00:20:39,800 --> 00:20:41,360 Speaker 3: of what it is can make a difference. 404 00:20:42,000 --> 00:20:43,679 Speaker 1: I'm a big fan of having a meal that can 405 00:20:43,720 --> 00:20:47,639 Speaker 1: be like reheated or can be put together really quickly. 406 00:20:48,480 --> 00:20:51,000 Speaker 3: Totally. Okay, Well, I love that, and I like the idea. 407 00:20:51,280 --> 00:20:53,080 Speaker 3: I have to toy with the idea of trying to 408 00:20:53,160 --> 00:20:55,479 Speaker 3: go later. Some of my kids are just like too 409 00:20:55,600 --> 00:20:58,080 Speaker 3: hungry and then they'll eat fifteen snacks and then there 410 00:20:58,160 --> 00:21:00,600 Speaker 3: is no dinner. But maybe maybe they can eat their 411 00:21:00,640 --> 00:21:02,040 Speaker 3: dinner but then sit there with like a cup of 412 00:21:02,160 --> 00:21:05,240 Speaker 3: tea later and you know, everyone can still hang out 413 00:21:05,280 --> 00:21:06,520 Speaker 3: around the table for a little bit. 414 00:21:06,640 --> 00:21:08,760 Speaker 1: So yeah, and I think sometimes what we used to 415 00:21:08,760 --> 00:21:10,520 Speaker 1: do is we used to do like a staggered dessert. 416 00:21:10,640 --> 00:21:13,080 Speaker 1: So if you're a family that does dessert, then the 417 00:21:13,400 --> 00:21:15,640 Speaker 1: older kiddo that just got home from practice is having 418 00:21:15,680 --> 00:21:18,760 Speaker 1: dinner and the rest of your having dessert or playing 419 00:21:18,760 --> 00:21:19,680 Speaker 1: a card game or something. 420 00:21:20,720 --> 00:21:23,879 Speaker 3: No. I love that. Well, how about in terms of 421 00:21:24,040 --> 00:21:27,280 Speaker 3: selecting meals and even preparing meals, how do you recommend 422 00:21:27,400 --> 00:21:30,560 Speaker 3: kids get involved with that at what age? Any tips 423 00:21:30,600 --> 00:21:33,840 Speaker 3: for doing so? Because I can imagine that engaging in 424 00:21:34,040 --> 00:21:38,639 Speaker 3: the process itself might make it more fun for certain families, 425 00:21:38,720 --> 00:21:40,720 Speaker 3: might feel more like a burden in other families. So 426 00:21:40,760 --> 00:21:42,359 Speaker 3: I don't know that there's like a one size fits 427 00:21:42,400 --> 00:21:45,399 Speaker 3: all here, But how have you seen this play out the. 428 00:21:45,440 --> 00:21:47,520 Speaker 1: Way that I what's worked for our family and I 429 00:21:47,600 --> 00:21:49,840 Speaker 1: think is probably useful for a lot of families. Is 430 00:21:49,880 --> 00:21:53,480 Speaker 1: I like to think about it is an invitation because 431 00:21:53,480 --> 00:21:55,840 Speaker 1: for some families, getting the kids involved with cooking and 432 00:21:55,960 --> 00:21:59,399 Speaker 1: meal planning and prepping is a nightmare because it adds 433 00:21:59,440 --> 00:22:02,639 Speaker 1: actually more work to their plates. My bottom line is, 434 00:22:02,880 --> 00:22:04,760 Speaker 1: if it's useful, if it's going to make your life 435 00:22:04,800 --> 00:22:07,920 Speaker 1: easier and it makes your kids feel more engaged, go 436 00:22:08,080 --> 00:22:11,159 Speaker 1: for it. But if it feels like another tour or 437 00:22:11,160 --> 00:22:13,440 Speaker 1: another thing on your to do list, kind of rethink it. 438 00:22:13,560 --> 00:22:15,199 Speaker 1: So the way that it looked in our families, when 439 00:22:15,200 --> 00:22:16,800 Speaker 1: my kids were younger, they actually really liked to be 440 00:22:16,800 --> 00:22:18,639 Speaker 1: in the kitchen, especially when it came to baking or 441 00:22:18,680 --> 00:22:21,800 Speaker 1: other things. And sometimes it was like they'd help chop 442 00:22:21,840 --> 00:22:23,840 Speaker 1: some vegetables and then they'd go off and do whatever 443 00:22:24,040 --> 00:22:26,840 Speaker 1: it was that they were doing. And as they were 444 00:22:26,840 --> 00:22:29,600 Speaker 1: older and they had homework and sports and all the things, 445 00:22:29,880 --> 00:22:33,600 Speaker 1: they had very little to do with meal preparation. Now 446 00:22:33,680 --> 00:22:35,320 Speaker 1: they always had a job at the end, because I 447 00:22:35,359 --> 00:22:38,320 Speaker 1: don't believe that parents should be doing all the work. 448 00:22:38,400 --> 00:22:39,960 Speaker 1: So my kids always, even if it was a small 449 00:22:40,000 --> 00:22:41,840 Speaker 1: thing like setting the table or clearing the table, or 450 00:22:41,880 --> 00:22:44,480 Speaker 1: helping with dishes. They always had a job or responsibility, 451 00:22:45,400 --> 00:22:47,359 Speaker 1: but I think the involvement is really going to depend 452 00:22:47,480 --> 00:22:49,840 Speaker 1: on if it's making things easier for you, what phase 453 00:22:50,040 --> 00:22:53,280 Speaker 1: you are. One last tip that I'll give that was 454 00:22:53,359 --> 00:22:56,960 Speaker 1: really helpful to me is oftentimes you'll have kids complaining about, 455 00:22:57,000 --> 00:23:00,400 Speaker 1: like that's for dinner. So when I'm doing my planning 456 00:23:00,440 --> 00:23:02,360 Speaker 1: in my grocery shopping when they were younger, I would 457 00:23:02,400 --> 00:23:04,840 Speaker 1: always say, give me your wishes for the week. So 458 00:23:04,960 --> 00:23:07,320 Speaker 1: they might say, could you make surfy this week? Could 459 00:23:07,400 --> 00:23:10,040 Speaker 1: you make a pasta this week? And we had a 460 00:23:10,080 --> 00:23:12,359 Speaker 1: few things that were always on constant rotation, and the 461 00:23:12,440 --> 00:23:14,480 Speaker 1: deal was I would try to honor their wishes as 462 00:23:14,600 --> 00:23:17,680 Speaker 1: much as possible, but they weren't allowed to complain about 463 00:23:17,680 --> 00:23:20,200 Speaker 1: dinner once it was served, So that was kind of 464 00:23:21,080 --> 00:23:23,080 Speaker 1: I never intentionally tried to serve foods that they weren't 465 00:23:23,080 --> 00:23:25,439 Speaker 1: going to enjoy, but like I would ask for their 466 00:23:25,480 --> 00:23:27,679 Speaker 1: wishes for the week, and I think eventually it kind 467 00:23:27,720 --> 00:23:29,720 Speaker 1: of faded out, and the beginning it was a I 468 00:23:29,760 --> 00:23:32,199 Speaker 1: think it just makes kids feel heard and like they 469 00:23:32,280 --> 00:23:34,720 Speaker 1: have some say and they have some contribution. So I 470 00:23:34,800 --> 00:23:37,480 Speaker 1: think find what works for you, and if giving your 471 00:23:37,600 --> 00:23:40,680 Speaker 1: kids more jobs or responsibilities works in their schedule and 472 00:23:40,760 --> 00:23:42,920 Speaker 1: it makes life facier for you, go for it. But 473 00:23:43,000 --> 00:23:45,080 Speaker 1: if it feels like torture trying to get them to 474 00:23:45,119 --> 00:23:47,240 Speaker 1: help in the kitchen, then maybe let it go for 475 00:23:47,280 --> 00:23:47,560 Speaker 1: a while. 476 00:23:48,480 --> 00:23:50,840 Speaker 3: In our house, this definitely depends on the kid because 477 00:23:50,880 --> 00:23:52,760 Speaker 3: we have certain kids that seem to have more interest 478 00:23:52,800 --> 00:23:55,800 Speaker 3: than other kids. Although it seems like everyone's gravitated towards 479 00:23:55,840 --> 00:23:57,760 Speaker 3: having more and I agree, it is definitely more work. 480 00:23:58,000 --> 00:23:59,320 Speaker 3: My husband's like, why don't you get them to help? 481 00:23:59,359 --> 00:24:00,879 Speaker 3: You know, I'm like, ye, in the zone, I'm like 482 00:24:00,960 --> 00:24:04,080 Speaker 3: listening to a podcast. I'm so happily making dinner. Maybe 483 00:24:04,200 --> 00:24:06,800 Speaker 3: not this time, but then other times it is really nice. 484 00:24:07,280 --> 00:24:09,359 Speaker 3: Or to watch them like learn a technique like oh, 485 00:24:09,440 --> 00:24:11,280 Speaker 3: you can make an omelet? Now, like how did that happen? 486 00:24:12,320 --> 00:24:14,040 Speaker 1: Yeah? And like maybe don't do that on the night 487 00:24:14,119 --> 00:24:16,840 Speaker 1: when you have like two different practices and half an 488 00:24:16,840 --> 00:24:19,720 Speaker 1: hour apart, and that sort of thing. The one caveat 489 00:24:19,760 --> 00:24:21,600 Speaker 1: I will add to that is as kids get older, 490 00:24:21,680 --> 00:24:24,720 Speaker 1: you do want to give them some skills around food 491 00:24:24,760 --> 00:24:26,720 Speaker 1: preparation and things like that so that they are able 492 00:24:26,800 --> 00:24:30,280 Speaker 1: to actually cook for themselves, or if they're in college 493 00:24:30,320 --> 00:24:32,119 Speaker 1: and at a dorm, that they can actually put together 494 00:24:32,119 --> 00:24:35,160 Speaker 1: a reasonable meal. And both of my kids, I will say, 495 00:24:35,880 --> 00:24:39,160 Speaker 1: are fairly good at being able to cook for themselves, 496 00:24:39,240 --> 00:24:41,640 Speaker 1: and I don't have a lot of concerns about them 497 00:24:41,680 --> 00:24:45,520 Speaker 1: being able to put together a nutritious, delicious meal for themselves, 498 00:24:45,640 --> 00:24:47,119 Speaker 1: even if it's something really simple. 499 00:24:47,680 --> 00:24:50,280 Speaker 3: Oh that's awesome. Well, we're going to take another break 500 00:24:50,359 --> 00:25:05,800 Speaker 3: and then get into some specifics beyond the table. All right, 501 00:25:05,920 --> 00:25:09,159 Speaker 3: we're back, and we've been talking about dinner in general 502 00:25:09,240 --> 00:25:13,399 Speaker 3: and dinner time kind of like routines and just some tips. 503 00:25:13,520 --> 00:25:17,040 Speaker 3: But doctor Staw is also an expert on plant based 504 00:25:17,160 --> 00:25:20,800 Speaker 3: nutrition and also on parenting in general from all of 505 00:25:20,840 --> 00:25:23,480 Speaker 3: her years working as a pediatrician. So we're going to 506 00:25:23,560 --> 00:25:26,240 Speaker 3: move into some of these topics. And my next question 507 00:25:26,320 --> 00:25:28,840 Speaker 3: is for those who are more plant curious, Like maybe 508 00:25:28,880 --> 00:25:32,920 Speaker 3: they're not looking to make a change to say we're 509 00:25:32,920 --> 00:25:35,879 Speaker 3: a vegan family now or anything like that, but if 510 00:25:35,920 --> 00:25:39,200 Speaker 3: you are somebody who is just interested in incorporating more 511 00:25:39,280 --> 00:25:42,760 Speaker 3: plant centered foods, and maybe there's resistance from different members 512 00:25:42,760 --> 00:25:44,800 Speaker 3: of the family, I don't know, where would you tell 513 00:25:44,840 --> 00:25:45,440 Speaker 3: people to start. 514 00:25:46,160 --> 00:25:49,040 Speaker 1: Yeah, I love working with families that are fully plant 515 00:25:49,080 --> 00:25:51,920 Speaker 1: based or even just plant curious, And I would say 516 00:25:51,920 --> 00:25:53,919 Speaker 1: the best place to start is to really use an 517 00:25:53,960 --> 00:25:56,359 Speaker 1: ad in approach. And what I mean by that is 518 00:25:56,680 --> 00:25:59,800 Speaker 1: is that instead of thinking about removing things in the 519 00:26:00,320 --> 00:26:02,920 Speaker 1: I think the first place, especially f you of resistance 520 00:26:02,960 --> 00:26:06,320 Speaker 1: from kids or even partners in the household, is to 521 00:26:06,600 --> 00:26:08,880 Speaker 1: just simply add more plant based foods to your diet. 522 00:26:09,040 --> 00:26:11,720 Speaker 1: So if you're having eggs for breakfast, maybe you're adding 523 00:26:13,240 --> 00:26:16,240 Speaker 1: greensmovie or you're adding some fresh fruit or some blueberries 524 00:26:16,240 --> 00:26:18,960 Speaker 1: to your oatmeals. So just adding in more plant foods. 525 00:26:19,040 --> 00:26:20,920 Speaker 1: So it could be really simple. It could be like 526 00:26:21,480 --> 00:26:24,400 Speaker 1: some cut up vegetables and dip at lunch. It could 527 00:26:24,440 --> 00:26:26,720 Speaker 1: be a cup of lentil soup at dinner, having a 528 00:26:26,960 --> 00:26:29,960 Speaker 1: green salad. So just really thinking about where are the 529 00:26:30,000 --> 00:26:32,520 Speaker 1: places that I could add some more plant based foods in. 530 00:26:32,960 --> 00:26:35,120 Speaker 1: And I think the more that you do that you're 531 00:26:35,160 --> 00:26:37,520 Speaker 1: going to necessarily kind of crowd out some of those 532 00:26:38,000 --> 00:26:41,000 Speaker 1: more animal heavy foods. Another thing that I found is 533 00:26:41,880 --> 00:26:46,159 Speaker 1: to sort of treat the meat or the animal foods 534 00:26:46,240 --> 00:26:49,800 Speaker 1: as a flavoring. So if you're making a chili instead 535 00:26:49,800 --> 00:26:52,920 Speaker 1: of doing an entirely ground beef chili, maybe half of 536 00:26:52,960 --> 00:26:55,520 Speaker 1: that could be beans. So you're sort of just adding 537 00:26:55,600 --> 00:26:57,719 Speaker 1: more plant based foods into the meals that you already 538 00:26:57,800 --> 00:26:58,399 Speaker 1: love and enjoy it. 539 00:26:59,280 --> 00:27:02,040 Speaker 3: I love that. I also think I'm going to add 540 00:27:02,080 --> 00:27:03,760 Speaker 3: money in myself, which is that if you have a 541 00:27:03,880 --> 00:27:06,480 Speaker 3: meal where everyone can choose the components, you can have 542 00:27:06,600 --> 00:27:09,320 Speaker 3: like maybe one meat option, but then other options as well, 543 00:27:09,320 --> 00:27:11,280 Speaker 3: and then people can kind of adjust the ratio how 544 00:27:11,320 --> 00:27:13,480 Speaker 3: they see fit. And if you make the non meat 545 00:27:13,520 --> 00:27:17,160 Speaker 3: ones enticing and colorful, then probably there's a good chance 546 00:27:17,240 --> 00:27:18,399 Speaker 3: that they'll be taken. 547 00:27:19,200 --> 00:27:21,280 Speaker 1: And in general, I love this idea of a build 548 00:27:21,320 --> 00:27:23,119 Speaker 1: your own bowl or a build your own thing for 549 00:27:23,280 --> 00:27:26,080 Speaker 1: because kids love doing that, and again, it can take 550 00:27:26,119 --> 00:27:28,200 Speaker 1: some of the pressure and give them If it's not 551 00:27:28,320 --> 00:27:31,480 Speaker 1: a whole plate of tofu, they might give themselves permission 552 00:27:31,520 --> 00:27:33,360 Speaker 1: to like, hm, that looks kind of good. Maybe I'll 553 00:27:33,359 --> 00:27:35,200 Speaker 1: try a piece of that. So I love this sort 554 00:27:35,200 --> 00:27:37,680 Speaker 1: of build your own plate or bowl approach. 555 00:27:38,520 --> 00:27:40,320 Speaker 3: Yeah, it's like low pressure. I'll just put a little 556 00:27:40,320 --> 00:27:41,480 Speaker 3: of that in the corner and we'll see how that 557 00:27:41,520 --> 00:27:45,200 Speaker 3: goes with everything else exactly. Now, one thing that you 558 00:27:45,359 --> 00:27:48,199 Speaker 3: mentioned in your kind of kind of pivoting away from 559 00:27:48,240 --> 00:27:51,360 Speaker 3: eating specifically, although of course if there are links there, 560 00:27:51,440 --> 00:27:54,520 Speaker 3: feel free to share them. But you help parents deal 561 00:27:54,560 --> 00:27:57,800 Speaker 3: with overwhelm. Now that is a very vague and broad topic, 562 00:27:57,960 --> 00:28:00,600 Speaker 3: but I imagine people come to you with all types 563 00:28:00,640 --> 00:28:03,600 Speaker 3: of overwhelm, and I'm curious as to kind of where 564 00:28:03,640 --> 00:28:04,680 Speaker 3: your starting point is. 565 00:28:05,600 --> 00:28:08,560 Speaker 1: Honestly, I think the most important thing that parents need 566 00:28:09,040 --> 00:28:11,200 Speaker 1: when I work with them in the beginning, I think 567 00:28:11,240 --> 00:28:14,360 Speaker 1: they just need to be heard and to have some validation, 568 00:28:15,000 --> 00:28:17,840 Speaker 1: because parenting is probably one of the hardest things that 569 00:28:17,960 --> 00:28:20,720 Speaker 1: we ever do, and oftentimes we're kind of doing it 570 00:28:20,760 --> 00:28:23,440 Speaker 1: alone and we see other people with the perfect Bento 571 00:28:23,520 --> 00:28:25,720 Speaker 1: box or the family meal or the manners are great, 572 00:28:25,840 --> 00:28:28,560 Speaker 1: and we feel like we're doing something wrong, and so 573 00:28:28,840 --> 00:28:31,800 Speaker 1: just having the space to be able to talk about 574 00:28:31,840 --> 00:28:35,960 Speaker 1: your experience, having some validation, and I think the problem 575 00:28:36,040 --> 00:28:39,320 Speaker 1: solving comes like way later. I think in the beginning, 576 00:28:39,360 --> 00:28:42,080 Speaker 1: it's just not feeling so alone in the experience that 577 00:28:42,160 --> 00:28:44,680 Speaker 1: you're having, And it could be something as small as 578 00:28:44,840 --> 00:28:48,080 Speaker 1: like dinner time feels really chaotic. To managing a new 579 00:28:48,160 --> 00:28:52,080 Speaker 1: diagnosis in a kid, something like Celiac disease or type 580 00:28:52,120 --> 00:28:53,600 Speaker 1: one diabetes, which I'm sure you have a lot of 581 00:28:53,680 --> 00:28:56,320 Speaker 1: patients like that. It's a really overwhelming thing and their 582 00:28:56,400 --> 00:29:01,160 Speaker 1: world has just been turned completely upside down. And oftentimes 583 00:29:01,800 --> 00:29:03,960 Speaker 1: in the office as a pediatrician, you just didn't have 584 00:29:04,040 --> 00:29:06,160 Speaker 1: the time to offer parents that kind of support and 585 00:29:06,320 --> 00:29:10,080 Speaker 1: understanding and acknowledging what you're dealing with is really really 586 00:29:10,160 --> 00:29:12,320 Speaker 1: tough and challenging, and you're doing a great job and 587 00:29:12,480 --> 00:29:15,560 Speaker 1: then going in with the specific resources and tools that 588 00:29:15,760 --> 00:29:18,160 Speaker 1: might help to make things a little bit easier, whether 589 00:29:18,200 --> 00:29:20,520 Speaker 1: it's at the dinner table or at bedtime or whatever 590 00:29:20,600 --> 00:29:21,400 Speaker 1: the situation may be. 591 00:29:22,480 --> 00:29:24,120 Speaker 3: And I think you're right that the common theme is 592 00:29:24,160 --> 00:29:26,720 Speaker 3: probably taking the pressure off more than any you know, 593 00:29:27,000 --> 00:29:30,960 Speaker 3: secreator tip there. And you mentioned families with Nuancet type 594 00:29:30,960 --> 00:29:33,800 Speaker 3: one diabetes and they talk about like usually when we're 595 00:29:33,800 --> 00:29:36,000 Speaker 3: still in the hospital, they're like, Okay, that first dinner 596 00:29:36,080 --> 00:29:38,960 Speaker 3: at home is always kind of like a big deal. 597 00:29:39,120 --> 00:29:42,160 Speaker 3: And our party line is like, you can't mess this up, Like, 598 00:29:42,600 --> 00:29:44,720 Speaker 3: you know, as long as you don't we like, don't 599 00:29:44,760 --> 00:29:47,560 Speaker 3: mix up the two insulins, but beyond that, like you're 600 00:29:47,560 --> 00:29:49,560 Speaker 3: gonna be fine if you have a problem, let us know. 601 00:29:49,720 --> 00:29:52,720 Speaker 3: But like you don't have to be perfect, like you 602 00:29:52,800 --> 00:29:55,160 Speaker 3: can do this just like everyone else can. Oh my gosh. 603 00:29:55,240 --> 00:29:56,080 Speaker 3: But yeah, it's hard. 604 00:29:56,640 --> 00:29:59,000 Speaker 1: Yeah, and I think just not feeling alone in that journey, 605 00:29:59,120 --> 00:30:02,280 Speaker 1: you know. It's just like it can be really isolating, 606 00:30:03,160 --> 00:30:05,720 Speaker 1: especially in childhood getting a diagnosis like this and feeling 607 00:30:05,840 --> 00:30:07,960 Speaker 1: like one of the families I was working with their 608 00:30:08,080 --> 00:30:10,280 Speaker 1: child who just gotten diagnosed with Celiac disease and they're 609 00:30:10,360 --> 00:30:13,120 Speaker 1: imagining like never ever going out to ice cream with 610 00:30:13,160 --> 00:30:15,840 Speaker 1: their friends. So it's just it's a lot to take in. 611 00:30:16,880 --> 00:30:21,040 Speaker 3: Yeah, or foodologies too, Oh my gosh. Yeah, all right, well, 612 00:30:21,360 --> 00:30:24,800 Speaker 3: nourish yourself too is also something that was mentioned on 613 00:30:24,920 --> 00:30:27,520 Speaker 3: your site, and I think definitely. You know, one of 614 00:30:27,560 --> 00:30:29,760 Speaker 3: the things we talk about on this podcast a lot 615 00:30:29,920 --> 00:30:32,760 Speaker 3: is how we love being parents. We love our kids, 616 00:30:32,920 --> 00:30:36,080 Speaker 3: but our lives count as well, and sometimes in the 617 00:30:36,280 --> 00:30:39,640 Speaker 3: like Mama sphere, people just kind of forget that, and 618 00:30:39,840 --> 00:30:42,320 Speaker 3: even the things that people do for themselves it's couched 619 00:30:42,400 --> 00:30:44,280 Speaker 3: as so that I can be a better mom, And 620 00:30:44,360 --> 00:30:47,760 Speaker 3: it's like wait, wait, wait, like that's great. And also 621 00:30:47,920 --> 00:30:49,880 Speaker 3: these years of our lives are going by and we 622 00:30:50,440 --> 00:30:54,040 Speaker 3: deserve to be happy even without you know, a benefit 623 00:30:54,120 --> 00:30:57,040 Speaker 3: for our kids. So I would love your take on 624 00:30:57,640 --> 00:31:01,440 Speaker 3: nourishing yourself or how you advise people to start give 625 00:31:01,520 --> 00:31:05,440 Speaker 3: them permission to do so, anything about in this category. 626 00:31:06,200 --> 00:31:08,160 Speaker 1: Yeah, and this is a topic that's near and dear 627 00:31:08,200 --> 00:31:10,080 Speaker 1: to my heart, especially as like in the last couple 628 00:31:10,080 --> 00:31:13,160 Speaker 1: of years we've become empty nesters. And I think that 629 00:31:13,360 --> 00:31:16,200 Speaker 1: if yes, you want to nourish yourself so that your 630 00:31:16,240 --> 00:31:18,560 Speaker 1: kids can sort of learn to prioritize their own well 631 00:31:18,600 --> 00:31:22,880 Speaker 1: being and also learn some patients. If we're one hundred 632 00:31:22,920 --> 00:31:25,479 Speaker 1: percent always there for our kids in every moment, they 633 00:31:25,520 --> 00:31:28,520 Speaker 1: don't learn sometimes that patience is required. I may not 634 00:31:28,600 --> 00:31:30,960 Speaker 1: be able to like drop everything and come deliver the 635 00:31:31,040 --> 00:31:34,680 Speaker 1: thing that you've forgotten. But I think also if we 636 00:31:34,800 --> 00:31:38,680 Speaker 1: aren't paying attention to nourishing ourselves along the way, when 637 00:31:38,680 --> 00:31:40,120 Speaker 1: the kids are out of the house, you're going to 638 00:31:40,120 --> 00:31:43,440 Speaker 1: be left wondering how do I take care of myself? 639 00:31:43,880 --> 00:31:48,480 Speaker 1: So I think it's really important to find that place 640 00:31:48,560 --> 00:31:51,800 Speaker 1: of figuring out the ways that you're going to get 641 00:31:51,920 --> 00:31:54,400 Speaker 1: a little bit of a break, a little bit of nourishment. 642 00:31:54,480 --> 00:31:58,080 Speaker 1: And it can come from getting to yoga every now 643 00:31:58,120 --> 00:32:00,680 Speaker 1: and then, it could come from actually making a meal 644 00:32:00,760 --> 00:32:04,040 Speaker 1: for yourself instead of just eating the kids leftovers. It 645 00:32:04,120 --> 00:32:07,800 Speaker 1: can come from like finding even ten or fifteen minutes 646 00:32:08,400 --> 00:32:11,719 Speaker 1: to read. I realized during the pandemic and since the pandemic, 647 00:32:11,800 --> 00:32:13,760 Speaker 1: my practice of just reading a book, whether it's for 648 00:32:13,840 --> 00:32:16,920 Speaker 1: pleasure or for work, My capacity to sort of just 649 00:32:17,000 --> 00:32:20,480 Speaker 1: sit and read a book was diminishing, like my attention span. 650 00:32:20,600 --> 00:32:23,240 Speaker 1: And so I've started a simple practice of every morning 651 00:32:23,600 --> 00:32:25,640 Speaker 1: making myself a cup of coffee and I just read 652 00:32:25,680 --> 00:32:28,160 Speaker 1: for ten or fifteen minutes. And it doesn't have to 653 00:32:28,360 --> 00:32:33,680 Speaker 1: be expensive spin classes or things that require a great 654 00:32:33,680 --> 00:32:35,360 Speaker 1: amount of time or money. It can be just a 655 00:32:35,440 --> 00:32:38,360 Speaker 1: really simple thing. And I think building in those places 656 00:32:39,160 --> 00:32:42,200 Speaker 1: that are intentional for yourself. It seems small, but I 657 00:32:42,240 --> 00:32:45,800 Speaker 1: can tell you it were so far in twenty twenty five, 658 00:32:45,800 --> 00:32:47,400 Speaker 1: I've already read more books than I did in twenty 659 00:32:47,440 --> 00:32:50,040 Speaker 1: twenty four. So those small things do end up batting up. 660 00:32:50,680 --> 00:32:51,840 Speaker 1: Oh my gosh, I love that. 661 00:32:52,480 --> 00:32:54,280 Speaker 3: Well. I forgot to warn you about our love of 662 00:32:54,320 --> 00:32:56,440 Speaker 3: the Week segment, but this will give you time to 663 00:32:56,480 --> 00:32:58,440 Speaker 3: reflect on it as I'll share mine, and if you 664 00:32:58,520 --> 00:33:00,160 Speaker 3: want to share one of those books that you have 665 00:33:00,320 --> 00:33:03,680 Speaker 3: loved this year, that's always a fun one. But really, guests, 666 00:33:03,800 --> 00:33:08,680 Speaker 3: can share anything from the sunset to something they're partnered, 667 00:33:08,720 --> 00:33:10,760 Speaker 3: to anything anything in the world that's making you happy. 668 00:33:10,840 --> 00:33:12,640 Speaker 3: So my love of the week, I'm going to go 669 00:33:12,720 --> 00:33:16,120 Speaker 3: on theme today just because sometimes it's fun to do that. 670 00:33:16,640 --> 00:33:18,920 Speaker 3: And my sister in law is vegan and she got 671 00:33:19,000 --> 00:33:22,840 Speaker 3: me a lovely cookbook called Life Changing Salads by Danielle Brown, 672 00:33:23,320 --> 00:33:25,480 Speaker 3: and it is just so beautiful and it's a little 673 00:33:25,480 --> 00:33:28,960 Speaker 3: bit aspirational, but I am absolutely making some of these salads. 674 00:33:29,000 --> 00:33:31,760 Speaker 3: And if you want a cookbook that is very beautiful 675 00:33:31,800 --> 00:33:35,520 Speaker 3: to flip through, but actually I say aspirational, the ingredients 676 00:33:35,560 --> 00:33:38,040 Speaker 3: are not like crazy or weird or hard. So if 677 00:33:38,080 --> 00:33:40,600 Speaker 3: you just want a starting point to put some more 678 00:33:40,920 --> 00:33:44,200 Speaker 3: plant heavy items in your rotation, then I would check 679 00:33:44,200 --> 00:33:44,680 Speaker 3: out that book. 680 00:33:45,280 --> 00:33:47,240 Speaker 1: Well, that sounds like an amazing book, I would say. 681 00:33:47,320 --> 00:33:50,680 Speaker 1: My love of the week is our weekly farmer's market. 682 00:33:50,880 --> 00:33:56,160 Speaker 1: The summer produce is in full bloom and everything is 683 00:33:56,240 --> 00:33:59,480 Speaker 1: just so delicious, from the summer corn to the nectarms 684 00:33:59,560 --> 00:34:02,520 Speaker 1: and the strawberries and the berries. So I have just 685 00:34:02,600 --> 00:34:05,200 Speaker 1: been loving our weekly farmer's Market. I'm they're pretty much 686 00:34:05,240 --> 00:34:05,800 Speaker 1: every Sunday. 687 00:34:05,880 --> 00:34:08,719 Speaker 3: So and you were in California, so I bet your 688 00:34:08,719 --> 00:34:11,120 Speaker 3: weekly farmer's market is an absolute bounty. 689 00:34:12,280 --> 00:34:15,040 Speaker 1: Yes, I think it's one of the best parts of 690 00:34:15,120 --> 00:34:17,839 Speaker 1: living in California is the farmer's market. It's year round. 691 00:34:18,120 --> 00:34:19,440 Speaker 1: When we used to live in the Midwest, I think 692 00:34:19,480 --> 00:34:21,359 Speaker 1: we have a farmer's market for like two or three 693 00:34:21,360 --> 00:34:23,040 Speaker 1: months out of the year, but we haven't year round. 694 00:34:23,960 --> 00:34:26,120 Speaker 1: And I will say that because of it, my kids 695 00:34:26,160 --> 00:34:29,239 Speaker 1: have really learned about seasonal eating. And I know we're 696 00:34:29,360 --> 00:34:31,919 Speaker 1: very fortunate that way. But right now we're not eating 697 00:34:31,920 --> 00:34:34,640 Speaker 1: any apples, but in the next couple months apples will 698 00:34:34,640 --> 00:34:35,520 Speaker 1: be in heavy rotation. 699 00:34:36,360 --> 00:34:38,920 Speaker 3: I love it. Well, tell our listeners where they can 700 00:34:39,000 --> 00:34:39,919 Speaker 3: find you and your work. 701 00:34:40,400 --> 00:34:43,600 Speaker 1: Yeah, so you can find me on my website it's 702 00:34:43,719 --> 00:34:48,440 Speaker 1: rachmashawandparentcoaching dot com. And actually on my website, I have 703 00:34:48,560 --> 00:34:52,120 Speaker 1: a list of I have several free resources, including a 704 00:34:52,239 --> 00:34:56,040 Speaker 1: guide to making family meals more manageable, as well as 705 00:34:56,080 --> 00:34:58,880 Speaker 1: a guide for parents that are wanting to explore more 706 00:34:58,920 --> 00:35:00,680 Speaker 1: plant based eating. It's a plant They started a guy 707 00:35:00,760 --> 00:35:03,400 Speaker 1: that has some easy recipes as well as some new 708 00:35:03,440 --> 00:35:05,960 Speaker 1: traits that you might want to pay attention to. And 709 00:35:06,040 --> 00:35:08,080 Speaker 1: the place that I tend to be most active is 710 00:35:08,160 --> 00:35:10,800 Speaker 1: on Instagram. And it's just my name Raschma Shaw so 711 00:35:10,920 --> 00:35:15,000 Speaker 1: it's r e Shma Shah and I try to post 712 00:35:15,120 --> 00:35:17,480 Speaker 1: parenting tips and lots and lots of recipes. 713 00:35:18,120 --> 00:35:20,000 Speaker 3: Awesome. Well, thank you so much for coming on. This 714 00:35:20,160 --> 00:35:21,600 Speaker 3: was so much fun. Thanks so much. 715 00:35:21,640 --> 00:35:22,759 Speaker 1: I really enjoyed chatting with you. 716 00:35:23,640 --> 00:35:26,360 Speaker 2: Well we are back, Sarah doing an excellent interview with 717 00:35:26,440 --> 00:35:30,239 Speaker 2: doctor Rashmasha about family meals, about eating. 718 00:35:30,200 --> 00:35:31,640 Speaker 3: With kids in particular. 719 00:35:32,719 --> 00:35:35,759 Speaker 2: So this question is from a listener who says, I 720 00:35:36,040 --> 00:35:41,720 Speaker 2: am in a rut list your top three crowd pleasing dinners. 721 00:35:42,120 --> 00:35:44,320 Speaker 3: So, Sarah, what do you have? I'm going to go 722 00:35:44,400 --> 00:35:48,080 Speaker 3: with some bowls. I've been into bowls lately because sometimes 723 00:35:48,080 --> 00:35:50,279 Speaker 3: I don't even feel like using a recipe. And they're 724 00:35:50,320 --> 00:35:54,200 Speaker 3: just so customizable because you can have the kids pick 725 00:35:54,239 --> 00:35:57,600 Speaker 3: which components they want. So here's three balls for you, 726 00:35:57,800 --> 00:36:00,279 Speaker 3: bowl number one, and my kids like all of these 727 00:36:00,320 --> 00:36:03,160 Speaker 3: are various, at least some components of each of these 728 00:36:03,440 --> 00:36:06,840 Speaker 3: would be like a Asian sushi type bowl, So you 729 00:36:06,920 --> 00:36:09,120 Speaker 3: could do salmon just easy, Like it's one of my 730 00:36:09,160 --> 00:36:11,400 Speaker 3: favorite proteins to cook, just because it's so easy to 731 00:36:11,520 --> 00:36:13,360 Speaker 3: just throw in the oven and do it for like, but. 732 00:36:13,440 --> 00:36:14,520 Speaker 2: This isn't sushi salmon. 733 00:36:14,600 --> 00:36:18,200 Speaker 3: This is cooked salmon, regular cooked salmon. You get rice, 734 00:36:18,800 --> 00:36:21,439 Speaker 3: maybe some of those like seaweed packages at amami, which 735 00:36:21,480 --> 00:36:24,640 Speaker 3: comes frozen avocado, some kind of Asian dressing, maybe shred 736 00:36:24,719 --> 00:36:26,960 Speaker 3: some carrots in there. People can choose what they want 737 00:36:27,080 --> 00:36:30,279 Speaker 3: and then make your kind of sushi themed salmon bowl. 738 00:36:31,239 --> 00:36:33,160 Speaker 3: You could do a Mediterranean bowl. I did this recently. 739 00:36:33,320 --> 00:36:35,320 Speaker 3: You could throw and actually I did it recently with 740 00:36:35,520 --> 00:36:41,880 Speaker 3: all Trader Joe's components. So we had couscouse grilled chicken. 741 00:36:42,480 --> 00:36:43,840 Speaker 3: I think I made it myself, but of course you 742 00:36:43,880 --> 00:36:46,080 Speaker 3: could also get got routisserie chicken. You could do pre 743 00:36:46,200 --> 00:36:50,440 Speaker 3: cooked chicken, breast, whatever you want, cucumbers, tomatoes, feta, cheese, 744 00:36:50,680 --> 00:36:53,480 Speaker 3: they're premds hat siki, sauce, olives, and then I toasted 745 00:36:53,520 --> 00:36:56,360 Speaker 3: some peda and then just choose the components you like, 746 00:36:56,400 --> 00:36:59,120 Speaker 3: put it in a bowl, delicious, healthy dinner. And then 747 00:36:59,200 --> 00:37:01,719 Speaker 3: finally one that we very commonly at our house is 748 00:37:01,760 --> 00:37:03,880 Speaker 3: like a rice and bean like bowl. They kind of 749 00:37:03,920 --> 00:37:06,759 Speaker 3: like a make your own Chipotle style thing. So we'll 750 00:37:06,800 --> 00:37:09,440 Speaker 3: have like rice, available beans, maybe some frozen corn that 751 00:37:09,520 --> 00:37:12,080 Speaker 3: was heated up, salsa, cheese, avocado, sour cream and then 752 00:37:12,120 --> 00:37:15,280 Speaker 3: whatever protein you want, maybe some leftover chicken or sliced 753 00:37:15,360 --> 00:37:18,600 Speaker 3: up cooked sausages. My kids love this. We could probably 754 00:37:18,640 --> 00:37:20,400 Speaker 3: serve this like every night for a year, and I 755 00:37:20,440 --> 00:37:23,439 Speaker 3: don't even know if there would be complaints, so maybe 756 00:37:23,520 --> 00:37:26,920 Speaker 3: for me. But yeah, those are three bowls, none of 757 00:37:27,000 --> 00:37:30,760 Speaker 3: which require recipes, none of which are fussy, and depending 758 00:37:30,800 --> 00:37:34,560 Speaker 3: on how selective your kids are, are going to please 759 00:37:34,680 --> 00:37:36,239 Speaker 3: most palettes, maybe not all. 760 00:37:36,480 --> 00:37:39,840 Speaker 2: Yeah, well the plain rice could always get eaten, Yes. 761 00:37:40,520 --> 00:37:42,479 Speaker 3: Plain rice, and maybe a little bit of plane beans 762 00:37:42,600 --> 00:37:43,799 Speaker 3: or chicken like done. 763 00:37:44,000 --> 00:37:46,799 Speaker 2: Yeah, well, I'm gonna actually sing the praises of a rut. 764 00:37:46,880 --> 00:37:50,040 Speaker 2: I gotta say there's nothing wrong with serving the same 765 00:37:50,160 --> 00:37:52,319 Speaker 2: crowd pleasing meals over and over again. 766 00:37:52,719 --> 00:37:53,879 Speaker 3: So don't call it a rut. 767 00:37:54,480 --> 00:37:58,280 Speaker 2: Call it it like doing best of right routine, routine, 768 00:37:58,400 --> 00:38:02,759 Speaker 2: it's greatest hits. Like, it's not a rut, especially if 769 00:38:02,800 --> 00:38:06,440 Speaker 2: people can customize them, like taco night. Right, if you 770 00:38:06,840 --> 00:38:09,480 Speaker 2: have people who want nothing on a taco, who just 771 00:38:09,680 --> 00:38:13,279 Speaker 2: want a tortilla and some cut up cheese on the side, 772 00:38:13,280 --> 00:38:16,200 Speaker 2: they could eat that. But there's also people who could 773 00:38:16,280 --> 00:38:19,440 Speaker 2: put everything on their tacos and be happy with it, 774 00:38:20,480 --> 00:38:23,160 Speaker 2: Like make your own pizza is another one that allows 775 00:38:23,280 --> 00:38:27,320 Speaker 2: people at all different flavor levels of comfort to doctor 776 00:38:27,400 --> 00:38:30,840 Speaker 2: it up as they might wish. We do a pasta 777 00:38:30,920 --> 00:38:36,160 Speaker 2: night every week. Some people have sauce that is jazzed 778 00:38:36,280 --> 00:38:38,400 Speaker 2: up with like a pre made sauce that's jazzed up 779 00:38:38,440 --> 00:38:41,440 Speaker 2: with our own ingredients to our veggies and Italian sausage 780 00:38:41,480 --> 00:38:41,960 Speaker 2: and things like that. 781 00:38:42,160 --> 00:38:43,320 Speaker 3: Other people prefer. 782 00:38:43,800 --> 00:38:46,400 Speaker 2: Plain marinara sauce, which can also be pulled out of 783 00:38:46,440 --> 00:38:48,440 Speaker 2: the same jar before you put the rest in with 784 00:38:48,520 --> 00:38:51,759 Speaker 2: the sausage. Some people like just butter or just cheese 785 00:38:51,800 --> 00:38:55,759 Speaker 2: on their pasta or whatever. That is an option too, 786 00:38:56,719 --> 00:38:59,080 Speaker 2: But you can sort of introduce variety by having a 787 00:38:59,200 --> 00:39:04,320 Speaker 2: strategically takeout night in your week, so you can decide 788 00:39:04,400 --> 00:39:08,880 Speaker 2: like Monday's pasta, Tuesday is tacos, Thursday is breakfast for 789 00:39:09,000 --> 00:39:11,440 Speaker 2: dinner or pizza night, and then Wednesday is when you 790 00:39:11,800 --> 00:39:14,879 Speaker 2: order in something different to make it feel a little 791 00:39:14,920 --> 00:39:17,719 Speaker 2: bit less like a rut. And I think that could 792 00:39:17,960 --> 00:39:21,360 Speaker 2: help make those crowd pleasing dinners feel like it's not 793 00:39:21,640 --> 00:39:23,600 Speaker 2: just you're eating the exact same thing in the same 794 00:39:23,719 --> 00:39:25,120 Speaker 2: order over and over again. It's like you are a 795 00:39:25,160 --> 00:39:26,840 Speaker 2: couple nights a week to make it easy on yourself, 796 00:39:27,120 --> 00:39:29,160 Speaker 2: and then you introduce variety when it makes sense to 797 00:39:29,239 --> 00:39:29,440 Speaker 2: do so. 798 00:39:30,280 --> 00:39:32,320 Speaker 3: Awesome. Well, now I have even more ideas. 799 00:39:33,239 --> 00:39:36,600 Speaker 2: Excellent. Well, this has been best of both worlds. Sarah's 800 00:39:36,640 --> 00:39:40,359 Speaker 2: interviewing doctor Rishma Shaw on family meals and family eating 801 00:39:40,440 --> 00:39:42,879 Speaker 2: in general. We will be back next week with more 802 00:39:43,040 --> 00:39:44,880 Speaker 2: on making work and life fit together. 803 00:39:46,960 --> 00:39:49,719 Speaker 3: Thanks for listening. You can find me Sarah at the 804 00:39:49,760 --> 00:39:53,960 Speaker 3: shoebox dot com or at the Underscore Shoebox on Instagram, 805 00:39:54,560 --> 00:39:58,279 Speaker 3: and you can find me Laura at Laura vandercam dot com. 806 00:39:59,000 --> 00:40:02,160 Speaker 2: This has been the best of both worlds podcasts. Please 807 00:40:02,239 --> 00:40:04,800 Speaker 2: join us next time for more on making work and 808 00:40:04,920 --> 00:40:06,000 Speaker 2: life work together.