1 00:00:00,200 --> 00:00:02,600 Speaker 1: Alright, alright one two one two one two one two 2 00:00:02,680 --> 00:00:06,280 Speaker 1: one two. This is Michael Rappaport and we're going right 3 00:00:06,320 --> 00:00:09,039 Speaker 1: into it. The music is gonna come in later. This 4 00:00:09,080 --> 00:00:12,719 Speaker 1: is what you call in show business a cold opening. 5 00:00:13,800 --> 00:00:17,439 Speaker 1: All right. I'm just jumping right into this ship. See 6 00:00:17,480 --> 00:00:21,080 Speaker 1: I Am Rappaport Podcast. I am literally sweating. I just 7 00:00:21,160 --> 00:00:24,840 Speaker 1: came back from yet another fitness class and some weird 8 00:00:24,880 --> 00:00:29,680 Speaker 1: ship popped off in the fitness class. All right. I 9 00:00:29,760 --> 00:00:34,040 Speaker 1: love my fitness place. I love it. I'm not gonna 10 00:00:34,120 --> 00:00:37,919 Speaker 1: name it because they ain't paid for the sponsorship. By 11 00:00:37,920 --> 00:00:41,400 Speaker 1: the way, speaking of sponsorship, as you know, the plight, 12 00:00:42,600 --> 00:00:46,159 Speaker 1: the struggles to bring in sponsors to the I Am 13 00:00:46,240 --> 00:00:49,879 Speaker 1: Rappaport Podcast continue. But I have some ship in the works. 14 00:00:50,760 --> 00:00:53,800 Speaker 1: People are knocking down the doors now. I just gotta 15 00:00:53,840 --> 00:00:58,720 Speaker 1: pick and choose. Snapple has not called fucking Coca Cola. 16 00:00:59,240 --> 00:01:02,160 Speaker 1: They haven't cold old. But I got some better ship coming, 17 00:01:03,120 --> 00:01:06,200 Speaker 1: all right, I got some better ship coming anyway. So 18 00:01:06,280 --> 00:01:11,400 Speaker 1: I'm in my fitness class and uh, you know, we're 19 00:01:11,440 --> 00:01:14,000 Speaker 1: doing what we're doing there. This time it was three 20 00:01:14,040 --> 00:01:18,080 Speaker 1: men and eleven women. And first of all, I think 21 00:01:18,120 --> 00:01:20,399 Speaker 1: there should be some sort of drug testing policy in 22 00:01:20,440 --> 00:01:23,360 Speaker 1: these classes because I know some of these fucking guys 23 00:01:23,360 --> 00:01:26,440 Speaker 1: in there today were hopped up on something. I don't 24 00:01:26,440 --> 00:01:32,440 Speaker 1: know if they're going GHB h B B PCP, dust 25 00:01:33,120 --> 00:01:39,640 Speaker 1: Royd's DEXA DRIM who the funk knows, okay, And some 26 00:01:39,680 --> 00:01:44,480 Speaker 1: of these women are on definitely on estrogen, nitrogen the 27 00:01:45,000 --> 00:01:48,600 Speaker 1: motherfucker's They can't be in shape. I see wedding rings 28 00:01:48,600 --> 00:01:50,640 Speaker 1: on most of these people. They all look like they 29 00:01:50,680 --> 00:01:54,560 Speaker 1: have kids, and and they're fucking hopping around here like 30 00:01:54,680 --> 00:01:58,640 Speaker 1: nothing's happening. So in this fitness class today, I'll just 31 00:01:58,680 --> 00:02:03,200 Speaker 1: call the guy his name was Boris. Okay, great teacher, 32 00:02:03,520 --> 00:02:06,920 Speaker 1: Great teacher. Because the Iron Rapp Report podcast is such 33 00:02:06,920 --> 00:02:10,799 Speaker 1: a worldwide fucking phenomenon at this point, the guy might 34 00:02:10,840 --> 00:02:13,560 Speaker 1: be listening to it. He's probably a subscriber. Who isn't 35 00:02:14,400 --> 00:02:16,959 Speaker 1: who isn't a subscriber to the Iron Rapp Report podcast 36 00:02:17,000 --> 00:02:19,920 Speaker 1: at this point, Okay, So I don't want to hurt 37 00:02:19,960 --> 00:02:24,160 Speaker 1: his feelings, So let's just call the guy Boris. Okay. 38 00:02:24,200 --> 00:02:30,799 Speaker 1: This guy has socks with a personality, which is a 39 00:02:30,840 --> 00:02:33,520 Speaker 1: whole other issue I have, Like he has these these 40 00:02:33,520 --> 00:02:36,320 Speaker 1: socks with like ice cream cones on them. I don't 41 00:02:36,320 --> 00:02:39,520 Speaker 1: like socks with a personality. I don't. I don't. It's like, 42 00:02:39,600 --> 00:02:42,080 Speaker 1: I don't want to know how you're feeling by what 43 00:02:42,160 --> 00:02:45,840 Speaker 1: pair of socks you're wearing. People got socks with crosses 44 00:02:45,880 --> 00:02:48,320 Speaker 1: on them. It's like the new thing. It's like, you know, 45 00:02:49,639 --> 00:02:51,480 Speaker 1: this is this is how I'm feeling. So I'm wearing 46 00:02:51,560 --> 00:02:54,440 Speaker 1: socks with ice cream cones, or I wear skulls because 47 00:02:54,440 --> 00:02:58,840 Speaker 1: I'm crazy and I got you know, Bart Simpson, I'm funny, 48 00:02:58,919 --> 00:03:02,160 Speaker 1: and you know they got everything socks with everything on him. 49 00:03:02,200 --> 00:03:06,720 Speaker 1: You got socks with socks on him. This fucking guy 50 00:03:06,760 --> 00:03:10,640 Speaker 1: has sweatpants pulled up to his knee and they're tucked 51 00:03:10,639 --> 00:03:15,040 Speaker 1: into his socks with a personality that have ice cream cones. 52 00:03:16,080 --> 00:03:19,920 Speaker 1: It's early in the morning. Okay, I'm in the class 53 00:03:19,960 --> 00:03:23,320 Speaker 1: because last night I fucking ate ice cream. I don't 54 00:03:23,320 --> 00:03:26,000 Speaker 1: need to see this ship early in the morning. So 55 00:03:26,120 --> 00:03:29,960 Speaker 1: Boris starts playing. Of course, his name's Boris. He was 56 00:03:30,000 --> 00:03:38,000 Speaker 1: playing World Techno Helium Blitz music and it's just banging, 57 00:03:39,360 --> 00:03:41,320 Speaker 1: and we're doing this thing called t r X. Now, 58 00:03:41,560 --> 00:03:43,280 Speaker 1: for those of you that might not be on my 59 00:03:43,400 --> 00:03:47,080 Speaker 1: level of fitness, TRX is it's like some spider man ship. 60 00:03:47,800 --> 00:03:52,560 Speaker 1: You you hold these straps, and it's body weight exercise, 61 00:03:53,240 --> 00:03:56,280 Speaker 1: and it would be cool if my body weight wasn't 62 00:03:56,280 --> 00:03:59,200 Speaker 1: my body weight. But if you're like ninety six pounds 63 00:03:59,280 --> 00:04:02,080 Speaker 1: or a hundred pounds or like in good shape, you 64 00:04:02,120 --> 00:04:04,880 Speaker 1: can do your body weight. But my body weight is 65 00:04:04,960 --> 00:04:08,800 Speaker 1: beyond my capabilities. So I am fucked right off the bat, 66 00:04:08,880 --> 00:04:14,760 Speaker 1: Like first first set, first interval, first attempt. I'm like struggling. 67 00:04:15,480 --> 00:04:18,799 Speaker 1: So we're doing these like you're doing like muscle ups 68 00:04:18,800 --> 00:04:21,480 Speaker 1: with it. You're pulling yourself up and you're pulling yourself down. 69 00:04:21,520 --> 00:04:24,000 Speaker 1: We're doing like you know, push ups on it, so 70 00:04:24,040 --> 00:04:28,200 Speaker 1: you're basically like suspended in midair. This fucking guy. We're 71 00:04:28,240 --> 00:04:31,440 Speaker 1: like twenty six minutes into the class. I'm sweating like 72 00:04:31,480 --> 00:04:34,560 Speaker 1: a pig. At one point I took a break. I 73 00:04:34,600 --> 00:04:37,000 Speaker 1: mean I didn't stop like when we hill says get water, 74 00:04:37,120 --> 00:04:39,640 Speaker 1: get water, I means means like I lay down in 75 00:04:39,640 --> 00:04:45,000 Speaker 1: the fetal position and I'm toweling myself off, and and 76 00:04:45,080 --> 00:04:48,960 Speaker 1: I got up into you know, crisscross apple sauce position, 77 00:04:49,640 --> 00:04:52,320 Speaker 1: and I realized my my towel was hanging out of 78 00:04:52,320 --> 00:04:54,880 Speaker 1: my mouth like like a little chihuahua, you know, if 79 00:04:54,880 --> 00:04:57,960 Speaker 1: they pick up like a sock. I caught myself in 80 00:04:57,960 --> 00:05:00,880 Speaker 1: the mirror. I'm forty four years old. I caught myself 81 00:05:00,920 --> 00:05:02,960 Speaker 1: in the mirror with a towel hanging out of my mouth. 82 00:05:03,000 --> 00:05:05,920 Speaker 1: I wasn't even aware of it, looking like a fucking 83 00:05:06,680 --> 00:05:11,360 Speaker 1: rabid dog, you know. And this is I don't care. 84 00:05:12,040 --> 00:05:14,279 Speaker 1: I do not care. These other people are all fakers 85 00:05:14,279 --> 00:05:17,279 Speaker 1: and phonies. They're trying to stand around and jump around 86 00:05:17,279 --> 00:05:22,400 Speaker 1: and sprightly. I have a towel hang out of my mouth. Okay. 87 00:05:23,160 --> 00:05:26,880 Speaker 1: So at one point during the class, I'm telling you 88 00:05:26,920 --> 00:05:30,600 Speaker 1: this happened. Bora said, after this set, we're gonna take 89 00:05:30,600 --> 00:05:34,239 Speaker 1: our clothes off. And I said what, And he said, 90 00:05:34,520 --> 00:05:36,680 Speaker 1: that's right, Michael. He's got some kind of accent. I'm 91 00:05:36,680 --> 00:05:40,560 Speaker 1: not Mr accent guy. I don't know if he was Russian, German, Turkish. 92 00:05:40,720 --> 00:05:43,400 Speaker 1: It's all the fucking same to me. Okay, it's all 93 00:05:43,400 --> 00:05:46,000 Speaker 1: the fucking same to me. At ten in the morning 94 00:05:46,040 --> 00:05:47,920 Speaker 1: during a fitness class. I don't know where the funk 95 00:05:47,960 --> 00:05:50,640 Speaker 1: you're from. I don't want to know where you're from, Okay, 96 00:05:50,720 --> 00:05:52,240 Speaker 1: I don't. I don't give a ship. I just want 97 00:05:52,240 --> 00:05:54,520 Speaker 1: to know why you have those fucking socks on, and 98 00:05:54,520 --> 00:05:58,360 Speaker 1: when this fucking this hell is gonna end? And he says, 99 00:05:58,560 --> 00:06:01,240 Speaker 1: that's what right after this sept gonna take our clothes off? 100 00:06:01,320 --> 00:06:06,320 Speaker 1: I said, yo, yo, I kid, I kid, I kid 101 00:06:07,200 --> 00:06:09,880 Speaker 1: listen here, man, I didn't sign up for all that 102 00:06:09,920 --> 00:06:13,200 Speaker 1: bullshit he was sucking around. I don't know what kind 103 00:06:13,200 --> 00:06:16,800 Speaker 1: of sucking around that is. Okay, I don't know what 104 00:06:16,880 --> 00:06:19,800 Speaker 1: kind of joke that is. Not that I'm afraid to 105 00:06:19,800 --> 00:06:23,400 Speaker 1: get naked because I'll drop out my loaf. I'll take 106 00:06:23,440 --> 00:06:27,000 Speaker 1: it out. I've taken it out before. Okay, I got 107 00:06:27,040 --> 00:06:31,800 Speaker 1: a nice loaf, but you gotta pay to play. I'm 108 00:06:31,800 --> 00:06:35,520 Speaker 1: not just taking out the loaf for free. And also 109 00:06:35,520 --> 00:06:37,880 Speaker 1: I want to shower. I want the loaf to be clean, 110 00:06:38,760 --> 00:06:42,200 Speaker 1: you know. So it's not that I'm afraid to get 111 00:06:42,240 --> 00:06:44,760 Speaker 1: butt ass. I just didn't feel I felt like a 112 00:06:44,760 --> 00:06:50,039 Speaker 1: little bit like pressured by Boris. Anyway, it was a 113 00:06:50,080 --> 00:06:54,719 Speaker 1: tough class, and uh I am I'm literally still sweating 114 00:06:54,800 --> 00:06:56,960 Speaker 1: from the class. And it was it was, it was, 115 00:06:57,000 --> 00:07:00,360 Speaker 1: it was tough, and uh walk them to the I 116 00:07:00,520 --> 00:07:19,000 Speaker 1: m Rappaport Podcast. This is Michael Rappaport and you're listening 117 00:07:19,040 --> 00:07:23,240 Speaker 1: to the I Am Rappaport podcast. Duh, everybody knows what 118 00:07:23,320 --> 00:07:28,840 Speaker 1: it is. It's a motherfucking worldwide, motherfucking phenomenon. I'm having 119 00:07:28,880 --> 00:07:33,920 Speaker 1: a good time doing it. I had this week seven 120 00:07:33,960 --> 00:07:36,480 Speaker 1: people come up to me on the street and the 121 00:07:36,600 --> 00:07:39,280 Speaker 1: only thing they wanted to say to me was, yo, 122 00:07:40,240 --> 00:07:43,280 Speaker 1: I liked the I M Rappaport podcast. And I was flattered. 123 00:07:44,640 --> 00:07:48,000 Speaker 1: I was flattered. You know. It reminded me of like, uh, 124 00:07:49,480 --> 00:07:51,920 Speaker 1: you know, when I first started acting, and you know, 125 00:07:52,000 --> 00:07:55,160 Speaker 1: you really take that to heart. I said, thank you, 126 00:07:55,800 --> 00:07:59,880 Speaker 1: thank you. I appreciate it, and I appreciate doing it, 127 00:08:00,640 --> 00:08:04,600 Speaker 1: and I appreciate that you like it, and you know, 128 00:08:05,080 --> 00:08:09,240 Speaker 1: I'm gonna keep going. So this week we're gonna get 129 00:08:09,240 --> 00:08:11,800 Speaker 1: into a whole bunch of ship. I got this little prick, 130 00:08:12,520 --> 00:08:16,360 Speaker 1: my friend, my former son from the now defunct Ward 131 00:08:16,440 --> 00:08:19,880 Speaker 1: Home Show, Dean Collins. This little bastard is house sitting 132 00:08:19,880 --> 00:08:23,679 Speaker 1: for me. I'm in New York City and he's watching 133 00:08:23,680 --> 00:08:28,360 Speaker 1: my my place in Los Angeles, and I see fucking 134 00:08:28,360 --> 00:08:30,760 Speaker 1: Instagram pictures of him and his friends in the pool, 135 00:08:31,320 --> 00:08:33,480 Speaker 1: him and his friends, you know, like with their shirts off, 136 00:08:33,679 --> 00:08:35,839 Speaker 1: like they're like, you know, twenty two. So they're all 137 00:08:35,880 --> 00:08:39,199 Speaker 1: like they barely have hair on their chests. And that's right. 138 00:08:39,240 --> 00:08:41,560 Speaker 1: Hair on your chest is a good thing. Not having 139 00:08:41,600 --> 00:08:44,280 Speaker 1: hair on your chest unless that's the way God made you, 140 00:08:45,080 --> 00:08:48,240 Speaker 1: not a good thing. If you shave your chest, you're 141 00:08:48,240 --> 00:08:51,839 Speaker 1: bugging out, you're tripping. I don't give a funk if 142 00:08:51,880 --> 00:08:54,800 Speaker 1: your ship is like, I don't care how harry it is. 143 00:08:55,360 --> 00:08:58,600 Speaker 1: Burt Reynolds, Okay, I got two words for you, Bert, 144 00:08:59,120 --> 00:09:03,680 Speaker 1: motherfucking wran See. Brad Pitt started this not hair, not 145 00:09:03,800 --> 00:09:06,880 Speaker 1: having hair on your chest ship, all right? And I 146 00:09:06,920 --> 00:09:10,400 Speaker 1: love Brad Pitt. He's my man. Fifty grand always washes 147 00:09:10,520 --> 00:09:13,480 Speaker 1: up with his dick in his hand. You like that, right. 148 00:09:14,160 --> 00:09:19,600 Speaker 1: Brad Pitt is a good dude, fantastic, fantastic actor, handles 149 00:09:19,679 --> 00:09:22,960 Speaker 1: himself and his fame as good as you possibly can, 150 00:09:24,000 --> 00:09:28,080 Speaker 1: and just a good dude. But BP, you fucked the 151 00:09:28,080 --> 00:09:31,560 Speaker 1: game up for everybody because you don't have hair in 152 00:09:31,600 --> 00:09:35,240 Speaker 1: your chest and you're just born that way. But I 153 00:09:35,280 --> 00:09:38,600 Speaker 1: feel like in the nineties, whenever you came about, whenever 154 00:09:38,600 --> 00:09:40,920 Speaker 1: you fucking just came down from the heavens with your 155 00:09:40,960 --> 00:09:44,040 Speaker 1: blue eyes and your blonde hair and your abs and 156 00:09:44,080 --> 00:09:47,360 Speaker 1: your shoulders and your pecks and your jawbone and your 157 00:09:47,400 --> 00:09:52,160 Speaker 1: fucking nice nose and your cheekbones and everything you got 158 00:09:52,920 --> 00:09:55,600 Speaker 1: and you don't have hair in your chest. And I 159 00:09:55,679 --> 00:10:01,679 Speaker 1: remember distinctly one time we're get on a movie with 160 00:10:01,720 --> 00:10:07,440 Speaker 1: Gwyneth Paltrow called The Pell the Paul Bear. Not a 161 00:10:07,480 --> 00:10:10,000 Speaker 1: great movie. A good movie, good movie, a lot of 162 00:10:10,000 --> 00:10:14,280 Speaker 1: funny stuff, starring David Swimmers, me, Gwyneth Paltrow. I say 163 00:10:14,360 --> 00:10:15,840 Speaker 1: me like I was the star of it. I wasn't 164 00:10:15,840 --> 00:10:18,040 Speaker 1: the star of David Swimmer and Gwyneth Paltrow were the 165 00:10:18,080 --> 00:10:22,800 Speaker 1: stars of it. Tony Collette, very good script turned out 166 00:10:22,840 --> 00:10:27,199 Speaker 1: to be a good movie. I remember I was doing 167 00:10:27,200 --> 00:10:30,760 Speaker 1: a scene with Gwyneth Paltrow. I dropped names sometimes, so 168 00:10:30,840 --> 00:10:35,960 Speaker 1: what so what okay? And she was dating Brad Pitt 169 00:10:36,040 --> 00:10:39,000 Speaker 1: at the time, and I knew that I had had bagel, 170 00:10:39,040 --> 00:10:42,040 Speaker 1: cream cheese and locks with them. Everybody fucking knew it. 171 00:10:42,400 --> 00:10:48,480 Speaker 1: This is pre Twitter, pre uh you know, Instagram, pre podcast, 172 00:10:48,640 --> 00:10:51,960 Speaker 1: pre all that ship. But you know, paparazzi was on 173 00:10:52,040 --> 00:10:54,600 Speaker 1: and popping. I don't even I think this was still 174 00:10:54,760 --> 00:10:58,080 Speaker 1: film somehow, or I'm doing a scene, or I take 175 00:10:58,160 --> 00:11:00,960 Speaker 1: my shirt off, or I don't know what and Gwyneth 176 00:11:01,800 --> 00:11:03,640 Speaker 1: says to me. This is what she says to me. 177 00:11:03,679 --> 00:11:06,760 Speaker 1: This is a fucking fact. She says, I, you got 178 00:11:06,800 --> 00:11:08,400 Speaker 1: a lot of hair on your chest. And I was like, 179 00:11:08,760 --> 00:11:11,160 Speaker 1: bitch please, Yeah, I got a lot of hair on 180 00:11:11,200 --> 00:11:13,440 Speaker 1: my chest. And I remember saying I didn't say bitch please. 181 00:11:13,440 --> 00:11:15,439 Speaker 1: In my head, I was like bitch please, but I 182 00:11:15,480 --> 00:11:18,280 Speaker 1: didn't say that. But I wanted to say bitch please, 183 00:11:18,520 --> 00:11:20,840 Speaker 1: but I just said, yeah, so what this ship is 184 00:11:20,880 --> 00:11:24,800 Speaker 1: dope Burt Reynolds. She's like, yeah, Brad doesn't have any 185 00:11:24,800 --> 00:11:29,200 Speaker 1: hair on his chest. And I remember thinking, this motherfucker's 186 00:11:29,240 --> 00:11:32,280 Speaker 1: sucking the whole game up. This is a true story. 187 00:11:32,320 --> 00:11:35,160 Speaker 1: This is a true fucking story. Now with Gwyneth Paltrow. 188 00:11:35,200 --> 00:11:37,000 Speaker 1: If you approached her on the street and said, yo, 189 00:11:37,320 --> 00:11:40,000 Speaker 1: I love the I m Rapperport podcast and Michael Rapport 190 00:11:40,040 --> 00:11:42,440 Speaker 1: just said that you said I to his chest hair? 191 00:11:42,520 --> 00:11:45,880 Speaker 1: Was she remember that? Fuck? No? Fun No, she wouldn't 192 00:11:45,920 --> 00:11:47,760 Speaker 1: remember it. But these are the kind of things that 193 00:11:47,800 --> 00:11:50,280 Speaker 1: stick with you because I was judged not a bad way. 194 00:11:50,440 --> 00:11:52,480 Speaker 1: She's a good person. I like one that she's all right. 195 00:11:53,360 --> 00:11:56,520 Speaker 1: I haven't seen her and god knows how long, but 196 00:11:56,640 --> 00:11:59,400 Speaker 1: she said, ill, you have hair on your chest. Brad 197 00:11:59,480 --> 00:12:02,839 Speaker 1: doesn't ever anything on his chest. It's really smooth. Fuck 198 00:12:02,920 --> 00:12:07,440 Speaker 1: you man, listen. Not everybody is fucking Brad Pitt, Okay, 199 00:12:07,440 --> 00:12:10,720 Speaker 1: but he was the fucking guy that set this whole 200 00:12:10,760 --> 00:12:13,319 Speaker 1: thing off, all right. And I know he doesn't shave 201 00:12:13,360 --> 00:12:15,760 Speaker 1: his ship because if you look closely and I have 202 00:12:16,000 --> 00:12:18,040 Speaker 1: I mean, who has it, it's Brad Pitt. He's got 203 00:12:18,080 --> 00:12:21,000 Speaker 1: a couple of little follicles. But it's nothing like what 204 00:12:21,120 --> 00:12:22,839 Speaker 1: I got. Not that I'm a beast, because I'm not 205 00:12:22,880 --> 00:12:25,920 Speaker 1: a beast. I don't have like a fully. I just 206 00:12:25,960 --> 00:12:27,760 Speaker 1: got like a regular, like a man chest with some 207 00:12:27,800 --> 00:12:29,839 Speaker 1: hair on my ship. I'm not like a savage. I'm 208 00:12:29,880 --> 00:12:34,360 Speaker 1: actually pretty hairless, and I'm blessed with uh blonde hair 209 00:12:34,400 --> 00:12:36,959 Speaker 1: on my legs, so you can't really tell. And it's 210 00:12:37,000 --> 00:12:39,599 Speaker 1: not thick, it's not coarse. I have no hair on 211 00:12:39,720 --> 00:12:43,000 Speaker 1: my feet, a little peach fuzz, no hair on my toes, 212 00:12:43,040 --> 00:12:45,959 Speaker 1: barely a couple of little follicles on you know, a 213 00:12:46,040 --> 00:12:48,160 Speaker 1: little ship. I'm not that hairy, but I got hair 214 00:12:48,200 --> 00:12:53,120 Speaker 1: on my chest. I quote pig daddy came, got no 215 00:12:53,240 --> 00:12:56,160 Speaker 1: hair on my chest. But I'm one tough cookie, yo, 216 00:12:56,760 --> 00:12:59,319 Speaker 1: big Daddy came. I want you on this fucking show. 217 00:13:00,440 --> 00:13:04,960 Speaker 1: One of my favorites, Big Daddy Cane. You know that line. 218 00:13:04,960 --> 00:13:06,600 Speaker 1: I got no hair on my chest, but I'm one 219 00:13:06,640 --> 00:13:08,560 Speaker 1: tough cookie. I would love to know the demographic of 220 00:13:08,559 --> 00:13:11,520 Speaker 1: people that are listening to this show, the Iron Rappaport podcast, 221 00:13:11,600 --> 00:13:16,560 Speaker 1: the worldwide motherfucker phenomenon that it is so in general. Yeah, 222 00:13:16,640 --> 00:13:20,600 Speaker 1: Brad Pitt started that ship and now motherfucker's be shaving 223 00:13:20,640 --> 00:13:25,200 Speaker 1: their ship. Motherfucker's be waxing their ship and and and 224 00:13:25,360 --> 00:13:28,200 Speaker 1: lasering hair the hair off their chest, and I'm just 225 00:13:28,240 --> 00:13:31,199 Speaker 1: not with it. I'm not in support of that ship. Okay, 226 00:13:31,640 --> 00:13:33,920 Speaker 1: I just don't think that. I think that men should 227 00:13:33,920 --> 00:13:36,040 Speaker 1: be men. And if you have no hair on your chest, 228 00:13:36,080 --> 00:13:39,640 Speaker 1: like Brad Pitt, cool, I hope you're in shape, because 229 00:13:39,679 --> 00:13:42,960 Speaker 1: there's nothing grosser than a fat motherfucker with no hair 230 00:13:43,000 --> 00:13:47,880 Speaker 1: on his chest. That's disgusting, that's not right. But if 231 00:13:47,880 --> 00:13:50,640 Speaker 1: you're ripped and you're shredded, and you've got nice pecks 232 00:13:50,640 --> 00:13:52,679 Speaker 1: and you got a six pack, and you just ship 233 00:13:52,760 --> 00:13:56,760 Speaker 1: just happens to be smooth, cool, grease it up, throw 234 00:13:56,840 --> 00:14:01,880 Speaker 1: some baby oil on it. Show off. Okay, I'm fucking shredded. 235 00:14:03,440 --> 00:14:06,120 Speaker 1: That's right. I'm fucking shredded, and I have hair on 236 00:14:06,160 --> 00:14:08,480 Speaker 1: my chest. I'm not really shredded, but I do have 237 00:14:08,520 --> 00:14:09,800 Speaker 1: a lot of hair on my chest. I'm not even 238 00:14:09,840 --> 00:14:13,720 Speaker 1: in great shape, okay, but I got hair on my 239 00:14:13,800 --> 00:14:15,800 Speaker 1: chest and I don't give a funk. And any girl 240 00:14:16,760 --> 00:14:21,640 Speaker 1: that doesn't like hair on their chest beat it fucking 241 00:14:21,640 --> 00:14:25,840 Speaker 1: take a walk, because that's some real man shit. Okay, 242 00:14:25,920 --> 00:14:28,200 Speaker 1: And you know I got hair onto my armpits. And 243 00:14:28,240 --> 00:14:31,480 Speaker 1: I'll tell you something. My hair on my armpits is red, 244 00:14:32,480 --> 00:14:35,800 Speaker 1: not like you know, carrot top red. It's a nice 245 00:14:35,840 --> 00:14:39,360 Speaker 1: color red hair on my chest, more like a dirty blonde, 246 00:14:39,520 --> 00:14:45,000 Speaker 1: you know, specially you know, nice nice hair on my 247 00:14:45,360 --> 00:14:49,920 Speaker 1: you know, my pubes, nice soft red, not not not 248 00:14:50,040 --> 00:14:52,680 Speaker 1: fire engine red again, not carrot top, not the saying 249 00:14:52,720 --> 00:14:56,840 Speaker 1: Halloween down here. It's not sucking pumpkin patch. But it's nice, 250 00:14:57,320 --> 00:15:02,840 Speaker 1: you know, strawberry blond. Okay, I ain't bad, but motherfucker, 251 00:15:02,880 --> 00:15:05,720 Speaker 1: I do have hair on my chest. I don't condone 252 00:15:06,440 --> 00:15:12,360 Speaker 1: shaving your chest. I don't support it, waxing all that 253 00:15:12,400 --> 00:15:16,400 Speaker 1: ship and uh, I don't even know how the funk 254 00:15:16,440 --> 00:15:19,400 Speaker 1: I got on this tangent but you know we're gonna 255 00:15:19,440 --> 00:15:22,800 Speaker 1: move forward. Now. Oh, here's what we're gonna do. I 256 00:15:22,840 --> 00:15:26,520 Speaker 1: got my my, my nephew, Duncan, he's coming back. He's 257 00:15:26,600 --> 00:15:29,720 Speaker 1: coming back, that little that little guy is coming back. 258 00:15:29,880 --> 00:15:31,200 Speaker 1: I was gonna say, I was gonna call him a 259 00:15:31,240 --> 00:15:35,480 Speaker 1: little prick. But he's he's only ten or nine, maybe 260 00:15:35,480 --> 00:15:37,640 Speaker 1: he's eleven. I don't know. I gotta find out. I 261 00:15:37,680 --> 00:15:39,600 Speaker 1: gotta send him a birthday gift. But you know, he 262 00:15:39,640 --> 00:15:43,880 Speaker 1: does the verse of the week and he uh, last week, 263 00:15:43,880 --> 00:15:47,200 Speaker 1: he did last time he was on, he did uh 264 00:15:47,360 --> 00:15:50,240 Speaker 1: Ignorant Ship by Jay Z and Beanie Segel And now 265 00:15:50,280 --> 00:15:55,680 Speaker 1: he's obsessed with the asap Rocky Drake I know, and 266 00:15:55,840 --> 00:15:58,400 Speaker 1: uh a few other people. Fucking problems. The name of 267 00:15:58,400 --> 00:16:04,480 Speaker 1: the song is called problems. Great title because they say, 268 00:16:05,080 --> 00:16:06,600 Speaker 1: you know, da da da da da, I got that's 269 00:16:06,640 --> 00:16:10,960 Speaker 1: my fucking problem. I love bad bitches. That's my fucking problem. 270 00:16:11,000 --> 00:16:13,520 Speaker 1: I like to funk a lot. That's my fucking problem. 271 00:16:13,520 --> 00:16:15,840 Speaker 1: You get it. See how it works. He's got a 272 00:16:15,880 --> 00:16:18,680 Speaker 1: fucking problem. He doesn't have a fun you know, that's 273 00:16:18,680 --> 00:16:21,680 Speaker 1: your His problem is fucking you understand. And and my 274 00:16:21,800 --> 00:16:24,360 Speaker 1: nephew loves this song, so you could just see what 275 00:16:24,480 --> 00:16:27,000 Speaker 1: kind of deterioration is gonna happen in this kid's life. 276 00:16:27,240 --> 00:16:29,160 Speaker 1: But Duncan's coming back with the verse of the week 277 00:16:29,320 --> 00:16:32,480 Speaker 1: and we're going into Wigga Please. I got some new 278 00:16:32,720 --> 00:16:35,240 Speaker 1: wigga pleases that I'm dropping for you. So this is 279 00:16:35,240 --> 00:16:38,360 Speaker 1: the I Am Wrapped four podcast, and uh, you know 280 00:16:38,360 --> 00:16:49,040 Speaker 1: we're gonna get into it right now. Yo, all right, 281 00:16:49,080 --> 00:16:52,360 Speaker 1: So this week's segment of Wigga Please. Now, I don't 282 00:16:52,400 --> 00:16:57,720 Speaker 1: really get political, okay, but we're gonna get a little 283 00:16:57,760 --> 00:17:03,360 Speaker 1: political President Obama. Now, I don't give a ship what 284 00:17:04,520 --> 00:17:13,080 Speaker 1: your political stances. Democrat, Republican, Independent Party, Green Party Party, 285 00:17:13,520 --> 00:17:18,480 Speaker 1: fucking I don't care. You treat the fucking President of 286 00:17:18,520 --> 00:17:23,520 Speaker 1: the United States with respect. Now. Apparently not even say 287 00:17:23,520 --> 00:17:26,200 Speaker 1: apparently this ship happened, okay, because I read about it. 288 00:17:26,640 --> 00:17:34,760 Speaker 1: It fucking happened last week. President and his wife out 289 00:17:34,760 --> 00:17:37,800 Speaker 1: on a date something like that, you know, quiet night, 290 00:17:38,240 --> 00:17:40,080 Speaker 1: as quiet as it could be if you're the president 291 00:17:40,200 --> 00:17:43,000 Speaker 1: and and and the first lady. They're in some restaurant 292 00:17:43,080 --> 00:17:48,840 Speaker 1: in New York City called a Stella, and the President 293 00:17:49,640 --> 00:17:54,040 Speaker 1: went to pay his bill, and these motherfucker's come back 294 00:17:54,880 --> 00:17:59,840 Speaker 1: and say, yo, your credit card has declined. And then 295 00:18:00,040 --> 00:18:02,520 Speaker 1: course you know, they're like uh, and then and then 296 00:18:02,640 --> 00:18:07,080 Speaker 1: and then the first lady Michelle, she has to whip 297 00:18:07,080 --> 00:18:13,640 Speaker 1: it out and give them her credit card. Wigga, motherfucking please, yo, 298 00:18:13,800 --> 00:18:16,639 Speaker 1: listen to me. This is the fucking President of the 299 00:18:16,680 --> 00:18:18,800 Speaker 1: United States. I don't care if you like them, don't 300 00:18:18,800 --> 00:18:25,000 Speaker 1: like them. You like Clinton, Bush, fucking Kennedy, Nixon, any 301 00:18:25,119 --> 00:18:29,119 Speaker 1: fucking president. You don't make the motherfucking president of the 302 00:18:29,160 --> 00:18:34,840 Speaker 1: fucking free world pay for shit. Fuck that o stella wigga, 303 00:18:34,920 --> 00:18:40,480 Speaker 1: please the manager a stella wigga. Please the fucking waitress 304 00:18:40,640 --> 00:18:43,680 Speaker 1: and or waiter or whoever had the balls. I want 305 00:18:43,680 --> 00:18:46,320 Speaker 1: to meet this fucking guy. I want to track down 306 00:18:46,359 --> 00:18:49,640 Speaker 1: the fucking waiter who had the fucking balls to come 307 00:18:49,680 --> 00:18:52,800 Speaker 1: over to the President of the United States and say, Yo, 308 00:18:53,160 --> 00:18:57,520 Speaker 1: Mr President, your credit card is fucked up, wigga. Please, 309 00:18:57,760 --> 00:19:01,160 Speaker 1: that's fucking bullshit. Man. The prey is in the United States. 310 00:19:01,200 --> 00:19:03,240 Speaker 1: Like I said, you like him, you don't like him. 311 00:19:03,400 --> 00:19:06,880 Speaker 1: Whatever he eats for free, I'll tell you something else, 312 00:19:06,960 --> 00:19:11,120 Speaker 1: Mr President. You come to me, I'm paying for it. Okay, 313 00:19:11,359 --> 00:19:14,720 Speaker 1: you want to go have a sandwich, a cheeseburger, Maybe 314 00:19:14,720 --> 00:19:16,760 Speaker 1: I take out for a little sushi. I got it. 315 00:19:17,160 --> 00:19:19,000 Speaker 1: I got it, and don't worry. My credit card ain't 316 00:19:19,000 --> 00:19:23,160 Speaker 1: gonna get the climbed. So a stella, the restaurant, the manager, 317 00:19:23,560 --> 00:19:28,240 Speaker 1: and the waiter and waitress Wigga. Please. The second situation 318 00:19:28,280 --> 00:19:33,040 Speaker 1: with the president this week happened in Chicago. All right, 319 00:19:33,160 --> 00:19:35,560 Speaker 1: As we all know or don't know, some of you 320 00:19:35,640 --> 00:19:38,160 Speaker 1: might not be as politically active as me. So I'm 321 00:19:38,240 --> 00:19:43,000 Speaker 1: very entunbed what's going on with the United States, the 322 00:19:43,040 --> 00:19:47,640 Speaker 1: president and all that. He's from Chicago, okay, presidents from Chicago. 323 00:19:48,200 --> 00:19:52,280 Speaker 1: He went to go vote, uh for the uh the 324 00:19:52,320 --> 00:19:57,560 Speaker 1: governor race. Out there as Mr President is voting, there 325 00:19:57,640 --> 00:20:01,280 Speaker 1: was a chick, a lady, regular lady. Because he's he's 326 00:20:01,320 --> 00:20:02,959 Speaker 1: one of the people he's voting. There's no you know, 327 00:20:03,320 --> 00:20:05,680 Speaker 1: it's just you're all you're all in. He's the president, 328 00:20:05,680 --> 00:20:08,359 Speaker 1: he's voting. Obviously, the Secret Service and all that stuff. 329 00:20:09,040 --> 00:20:12,359 Speaker 1: The President is voting in some chick I eata i 330 00:20:12,520 --> 00:20:18,639 Speaker 1: e A Cooper or whatever in Chicago. Pretty girl, brown skin, chick. Pretty, 331 00:20:18,680 --> 00:20:20,480 Speaker 1: but I mean, she wasn't like a banger, she wasn't 332 00:20:20,520 --> 00:20:24,640 Speaker 1: like a triple dimes, just regular pretty girl. As she's there, 333 00:20:24,720 --> 00:20:27,600 Speaker 1: she's googling at the president. You hear off camera because 334 00:20:27,600 --> 00:20:30,120 Speaker 1: they film everything the president does except for taking ship. 335 00:20:31,119 --> 00:20:35,040 Speaker 1: Some dude goes, hey, yo, Mr President, don't touch my girlfriend. 336 00:20:36,880 --> 00:20:40,239 Speaker 1: Yo yo yo, Yo, my man, what the funk are 337 00:20:40,280 --> 00:20:43,000 Speaker 1: you talking about. You don't talk to the fucking president 338 00:20:43,000 --> 00:20:46,000 Speaker 1: of the free world like that, all right. You don't 339 00:20:46,040 --> 00:20:49,120 Speaker 1: talk to the leader like that. You don't say yo, 340 00:20:49,400 --> 00:20:53,240 Speaker 1: Mr President, don't touch my girl, all right? And then 341 00:20:53,240 --> 00:20:56,480 Speaker 1: the president said, yo, I wasn't planning on it, but 342 00:20:56,600 --> 00:20:59,800 Speaker 1: my man, if the president wanted to scoop your chick, 343 00:21:00,600 --> 00:21:03,160 Speaker 1: he could scoop your chick. There ain't nothing you can 344 00:21:03,200 --> 00:21:07,359 Speaker 1: do about it. He's the motherfucking president, Okay. If he 345 00:21:07,440 --> 00:21:10,160 Speaker 1: wanted to the side piece your chick, he can make 346 00:21:10,160 --> 00:21:14,320 Speaker 1: your chick the side piece, whether she's your fiancee or not. 347 00:21:14,560 --> 00:21:18,240 Speaker 1: And obviously you're insecure about your situation with your your 348 00:21:18,240 --> 00:21:21,320 Speaker 1: fiance because she probably said, oh, shoot, I love the 349 00:21:21,359 --> 00:21:24,120 Speaker 1: president you. I wonder if the President's fox stylars buck 350 00:21:24,160 --> 00:21:27,239 Speaker 1: while whatever she said, she made you insecure so that 351 00:21:27,320 --> 00:21:30,520 Speaker 1: you had the fucking balls big enough to say to 352 00:21:30,560 --> 00:21:36,320 Speaker 1: the President of the United States, Yo, don't touch my girlfriend, wigga, please, man, 353 00:21:36,480 --> 00:21:40,399 Speaker 1: the funk is you talking about man, Wigga, motherfucking please, 354 00:21:40,600 --> 00:21:44,520 Speaker 1: he's not trying to talk to your chick. But but 355 00:21:45,480 --> 00:21:47,880 Speaker 1: if he was trying to talk to your chick, she'd 356 00:21:47,920 --> 00:21:51,600 Speaker 1: be talking to she'd be scooped. If he was trying to, 357 00:21:51,960 --> 00:21:55,720 Speaker 1: you know, freak off with your chick. Whatever he wants. 358 00:21:56,000 --> 00:22:01,000 Speaker 1: He's the president. Tell her to stop fucking eyeball and 359 00:22:01,080 --> 00:22:04,760 Speaker 1: the president all right, So Mr Mike Jones from Chicago, 360 00:22:04,800 --> 00:22:09,560 Speaker 1: who had the balls big enough, Wigga, please and going 361 00:22:09,560 --> 00:22:13,080 Speaker 1: back to this restaurant Estella in New York. I hope 362 00:22:13,119 --> 00:22:16,280 Speaker 1: this fucking this this place gets Did they get fucking 363 00:22:16,800 --> 00:22:19,679 Speaker 1: hit for some tax shit like they didn't pay their Texas? 364 00:22:19,840 --> 00:22:21,800 Speaker 1: You're gonna make the President of the United States. He 365 00:22:21,920 --> 00:22:24,560 Speaker 1: make a phone call. He's gonna find some dirt on 366 00:22:24,600 --> 00:22:26,600 Speaker 1: this the ship box. I don't even know what this 367 00:22:26,640 --> 00:22:29,959 Speaker 1: place a stella. It's probably some high end ship box. 368 00:22:30,840 --> 00:22:35,080 Speaker 1: But when this fucking place closes down in don't come 369 00:22:35,160 --> 00:22:37,199 Speaker 1: running to me. Okay, you should have. You should have 370 00:22:37,480 --> 00:22:40,000 Speaker 1: put the president's meal on the arm. He's the President 371 00:22:40,040 --> 00:22:43,840 Speaker 1: of the United States. So a stella again, Wigga, Please, 372 00:22:44,160 --> 00:22:46,360 Speaker 1: Mike Jones, who had the balls, has held the president 373 00:22:47,760 --> 00:22:55,280 Speaker 1: not to scoop your chick Wigga, Please finally this fucking chick, man, 374 00:22:55,320 --> 00:22:57,159 Speaker 1: I don't know what she's on. Man, she must be 375 00:22:57,200 --> 00:22:59,080 Speaker 1: smoking weed, because a lot of these chicks they do 376 00:22:59,160 --> 00:23:03,280 Speaker 1: this ship. This fucking chick, Christy Teagan, who was like 377 00:23:04,359 --> 00:23:08,159 Speaker 1: falling over earlier this year at a baseball game. You know, 378 00:23:08,320 --> 00:23:11,879 Speaker 1: she's like drunk and tripping over a feat. She's throwing 379 00:23:11,880 --> 00:23:15,480 Speaker 1: out the first pitch at a Dodgers game. Something's up 380 00:23:15,480 --> 00:23:18,359 Speaker 1: with her. I know it's John Legend's wife and all that, 381 00:23:18,480 --> 00:23:21,320 Speaker 1: and you know he's all right. You know you ever 382 00:23:21,359 --> 00:23:23,960 Speaker 1: noticed that John Legend. Next time you see John Legend perform, 383 00:23:24,000 --> 00:23:25,679 Speaker 1: I don't know. I'm not I like John Legend. I'm 384 00:23:25,680 --> 00:23:27,960 Speaker 1: not a huge fan, but he's he's he's a good performance. 385 00:23:28,160 --> 00:23:31,960 Speaker 1: He's got an enormous ass. And I'm not saying that 386 00:23:32,040 --> 00:23:34,400 Speaker 1: in a good way. Like his ship, like he's got 387 00:23:34,440 --> 00:23:37,359 Speaker 1: like his hips don't lie, like for real, his hips 388 00:23:37,600 --> 00:23:40,240 Speaker 1: do not lie. His fucking ass is like the size 389 00:23:40,280 --> 00:23:42,560 Speaker 1: of a refrigerator. And he's not a big dude, he's 390 00:23:42,560 --> 00:23:44,560 Speaker 1: not fat. He just got watched him. The next time 391 00:23:44,560 --> 00:23:47,680 Speaker 1: he struts out to the piano, the crew at the piano, 392 00:23:47,800 --> 00:23:50,080 Speaker 1: let check out John Legend. His ship is fucked up. 393 00:23:50,800 --> 00:23:52,520 Speaker 1: I saw him at the gym one time. That's when 394 00:23:52,520 --> 00:23:54,480 Speaker 1: I noticed it. Then I started to see him perform 395 00:23:54,520 --> 00:23:56,440 Speaker 1: and I was like, Yo, your ship is really fucked up. Man. 396 00:23:56,680 --> 00:23:59,239 Speaker 1: This gym isn't working for you. He needs to do 397 00:23:59,280 --> 00:24:01,520 Speaker 1: something to his ass, like like the width of it. 398 00:24:01,520 --> 00:24:03,200 Speaker 1: It's like, it's like, I don't know what the funking is. 399 00:24:03,240 --> 00:24:05,480 Speaker 1: And I'm not saying like I say, check out John 400 00:24:05,560 --> 00:24:08,280 Speaker 1: legends ass. And then I say, no, Bruno, Okay, so 401 00:24:08,320 --> 00:24:10,160 Speaker 1: I'm not saying it like I like it. I'm saying 402 00:24:10,200 --> 00:24:14,040 Speaker 1: I just noticed John Legend your asses. Your ship is wide, Yo, 403 00:24:14,200 --> 00:24:17,199 Speaker 1: your ship look doesn't something's up with your ass. I 404 00:24:17,200 --> 00:24:19,560 Speaker 1: hope it's not some kind of you know problem like 405 00:24:19,600 --> 00:24:22,320 Speaker 1: oh we read know John Legends got some kind of 406 00:24:22,440 --> 00:24:24,480 Speaker 1: you know, growth in his ass. But maybe it's because 407 00:24:24,520 --> 00:24:26,680 Speaker 1: he sits down at the piano a lot. I don't know, 408 00:24:26,800 --> 00:24:30,000 Speaker 1: but his asses, his ship's fucked up. No, Bruno, but 409 00:24:30,080 --> 00:24:33,280 Speaker 1: his wife she needs to get her ship together, because 410 00:24:33,280 --> 00:24:35,480 Speaker 1: you know, a lot of these pretty chicks, they're so 411 00:24:35,560 --> 00:24:37,800 Speaker 1: pretty they just think they could, you know, they're almost 412 00:24:37,800 --> 00:24:40,680 Speaker 1: like tough guys. They think they could do and say 413 00:24:40,760 --> 00:24:42,960 Speaker 1: whatever they want. You know, like if you're like Mike Tyson, 414 00:24:43,040 --> 00:24:46,240 Speaker 1: like you could just come into a restaurant fucking take food. 415 00:24:46,280 --> 00:24:48,800 Speaker 1: No one's gonna say ship because Mike Tyson is fucking 416 00:24:48,840 --> 00:24:50,879 Speaker 1: scare to you and you just sort of have like 417 00:24:50,880 --> 00:24:56,119 Speaker 1: a like a nose in the air. Christie Teagan, sweetheart, 418 00:24:56,920 --> 00:25:03,240 Speaker 1: there's another shooting, you know, random shooting in Canada this week. 419 00:25:03,280 --> 00:25:04,760 Speaker 1: I don't want to get too much into that because 420 00:25:04,760 --> 00:25:09,840 Speaker 1: it's too fucking upsetting. There's so many random acts with guns. 421 00:25:10,119 --> 00:25:12,399 Speaker 1: And this is the I m Rapp Report podcast, and 422 00:25:12,720 --> 00:25:15,160 Speaker 1: I try to keep it lighthearted. But after the shooting 423 00:25:15,160 --> 00:25:19,800 Speaker 1: in Canada, Christy Teagan, she tweeted out active shooting in Canada, 424 00:25:20,240 --> 00:25:24,760 Speaker 1: or as we call it in America Wednesday. Yo, you 425 00:25:24,800 --> 00:25:28,040 Speaker 1: get wigga please, You get wigga please for that because 426 00:25:28,040 --> 00:25:32,560 Speaker 1: you're a fucking that's not nice, it's not smart, it's disrespectful. 427 00:25:32,800 --> 00:25:36,479 Speaker 1: You get motherfucking wigga. Please. Now I would say bitch please, 428 00:25:36,800 --> 00:25:39,560 Speaker 1: but it's John Legend's wife and he's gonna have to 429 00:25:39,600 --> 00:25:41,600 Speaker 1: he's gonna have to say that to her. He's gonna 430 00:25:41,640 --> 00:25:44,080 Speaker 1: have to say that to her. Yo, bitch, please, what 431 00:25:44,160 --> 00:25:47,800 Speaker 1: the funk are you talking about? But I say wigga please. Okay, 432 00:25:47,840 --> 00:25:51,840 Speaker 1: I say wigga please, but you get that. You know, listen, 433 00:25:52,720 --> 00:25:56,680 Speaker 1: I've said some crazy shift on Twitter. My girl gets 434 00:25:56,760 --> 00:26:00,600 Speaker 1: upset sometimes my mom reprimands me, Mike. I don't think 435 00:26:00,640 --> 00:26:03,360 Speaker 1: you should say that. I know, Michael, I just don't 436 00:26:03,359 --> 00:26:05,480 Speaker 1: think you should. By the way, my mom's complaining that 437 00:26:05,520 --> 00:26:09,159 Speaker 1: I cursed too much. You shouldn't fucking say funk all 438 00:26:09,200 --> 00:26:10,879 Speaker 1: the time. She's just what she says to me. You 439 00:26:10,880 --> 00:26:14,480 Speaker 1: shouldn't say fuck. You shouldn't fucking say funk all the time. Michael. 440 00:26:14,480 --> 00:26:17,720 Speaker 1: It's not good. You're better than that. Stop sucking talking 441 00:26:17,800 --> 00:26:19,359 Speaker 1: like that. This is what my mom is saying to 442 00:26:19,400 --> 00:26:22,600 Speaker 1: me about me cursing. Stop sucking talking like that. Anyway, 443 00:26:22,600 --> 00:26:24,320 Speaker 1: I'm gonna talk to my mom about that. We're gonna 444 00:26:24,320 --> 00:26:28,000 Speaker 1: have a whole thing about my mom and on all 445 00:26:28,040 --> 00:26:31,280 Speaker 1: that ship. By the way, I hate to report this, 446 00:26:31,840 --> 00:26:37,320 Speaker 1: but my fucking therapist died. Yeah, fifty two years old, 447 00:26:38,320 --> 00:26:43,800 Speaker 1: fucking died. Paula, my therapist. My other one retired last year. 448 00:26:44,440 --> 00:26:46,480 Speaker 1: I don't know what the funk to do with myself now. 449 00:26:47,320 --> 00:26:50,560 Speaker 1: I gotta fucking one therapist just died. I got an 450 00:26:50,560 --> 00:26:56,080 Speaker 1: email telling me that Paula died, and I put another 451 00:26:56,080 --> 00:26:58,439 Speaker 1: one in retirement, and I don't know what to do. 452 00:26:58,440 --> 00:27:00,359 Speaker 1: I don't want to start all over again, you know, 453 00:27:00,400 --> 00:27:01,879 Speaker 1: I don't want to start from the top. And I 454 00:27:01,920 --> 00:27:04,640 Speaker 1: gotta tell somebody all my ship. No, when I was three, 455 00:27:04,680 --> 00:27:07,720 Speaker 1: I broke my leg, and when I was three and 456 00:27:07,720 --> 00:27:10,679 Speaker 1: a half my parents divorced. And then, you know, my 457 00:27:10,760 --> 00:27:12,359 Speaker 1: brother used to piss the bed, but I used to 458 00:27:12,359 --> 00:27:14,280 Speaker 1: ship the bed. These are all the things that happened 459 00:27:14,280 --> 00:27:16,760 Speaker 1: to me. This is all the start. It's a true story. 460 00:27:17,040 --> 00:27:19,160 Speaker 1: My brother used to piss the bed, and I used 461 00:27:19,200 --> 00:27:20,960 Speaker 1: to ship the bed. And of course when you ship, 462 00:27:21,000 --> 00:27:23,000 Speaker 1: you ship and piss, so I would actually, as a 463 00:27:23,000 --> 00:27:29,480 Speaker 1: five year old, ship and piss the bed. Horrible, humiliating, terrible, 464 00:27:30,440 --> 00:27:34,679 Speaker 1: to this day, embarrassing. I'm sure some people think it's funny. 465 00:27:35,040 --> 00:27:38,200 Speaker 1: It ain't funny as a child to wake up in 466 00:27:38,200 --> 00:27:40,600 Speaker 1: in in in a in a pool of your own 467 00:27:40,600 --> 00:27:46,800 Speaker 1: ship and piss sloshing around, disgusting, frightening, gets on your hands. 468 00:27:47,080 --> 00:27:50,080 Speaker 1: It's a fucking horror show. So I don't need to 469 00:27:50,119 --> 00:27:52,360 Speaker 1: start with a new therapist. I'm I'm out of it. 470 00:27:52,520 --> 00:27:56,399 Speaker 1: I'm not gonna get back into it. That's the Wigo 471 00:27:56,440 --> 00:27:59,280 Speaker 1: Police segment of the week, Christy Teagan, you get a 472 00:27:59,280 --> 00:28:04,639 Speaker 1: wigow please to reprimand the restaurant. You get a wigga please. 473 00:28:04,800 --> 00:28:06,960 Speaker 1: And I hope the fucking you know you're gonna be 474 00:28:07,000 --> 00:28:10,800 Speaker 1: hearing from the fucking federal government. And my man in Chicago, 475 00:28:12,320 --> 00:28:24,399 Speaker 1: you're you're you're just your your wigaw please. All right, 476 00:28:24,480 --> 00:28:26,720 Speaker 1: this is Michael Rappaport and we are getting into the 477 00:28:26,800 --> 00:28:30,240 Speaker 1: verse of the week with my nephew Duncan. I'm gonna 478 00:28:30,240 --> 00:28:34,679 Speaker 1: get this guy on the line here and his first 479 00:28:35,040 --> 00:28:37,760 Speaker 1: verse of the week, as I said earlier, was Ignorant Ship, 480 00:28:38,720 --> 00:28:42,200 Speaker 1: not a very very well known song, but a dope 481 00:28:42,240 --> 00:28:47,280 Speaker 1: song by Jay Z and Beanie Seagal. And this week 482 00:28:47,280 --> 00:28:52,960 Speaker 1: he wants to do fucking Problems by Asap Rocky, Kendrick 483 00:28:53,040 --> 00:28:57,760 Speaker 1: Lamar and Drake. I like this song. I like Asap Rocky. 484 00:28:57,760 --> 00:29:01,480 Speaker 1: He's dope, and I like his whole it from New York. 485 00:29:01,840 --> 00:29:06,920 Speaker 1: Guy's real name is rock Him Fuck. Parents named him 486 00:29:07,040 --> 00:29:10,320 Speaker 1: rock Kim like rock Him Allah like Eric being rock Kim, 487 00:29:11,080 --> 00:29:14,040 Speaker 1: the R the A to the K. I am fucking 488 00:29:14,280 --> 00:29:16,720 Speaker 1: those are big shoes to fill. They loved hip hop 489 00:29:16,760 --> 00:29:20,080 Speaker 1: and they named him rock Kim so, UM, I'm gonna 490 00:29:20,120 --> 00:29:23,280 Speaker 1: get this kid on the line. Duncan's my nephews, my 491 00:29:23,320 --> 00:29:31,560 Speaker 1: brother's son. Duncan. I canna find out how old he is? Hey, Hey, 492 00:29:31,960 --> 00:29:37,760 Speaker 1: how are you? I'm good? Uh, Mike, what do you want? UM? 493 00:29:37,800 --> 00:29:40,640 Speaker 1: I wanted to talk to you about UM. Can you 494 00:29:40,880 --> 00:29:44,480 Speaker 1: um send me? No? Nope, nope, nope, nope. I ain't 495 00:29:44,520 --> 00:29:47,280 Speaker 1: sending you no sneakers. You know why we talked about 496 00:29:47,280 --> 00:29:51,400 Speaker 1: this already going to send me sneakers? Listen, yo, listen. 497 00:29:51,600 --> 00:29:54,960 Speaker 1: I also we had a deal. I need you to 498 00:29:55,000 --> 00:29:59,080 Speaker 1: do the verse of the week every week. You did 499 00:29:59,120 --> 00:30:00,720 Speaker 1: the Verse of the week. I I haven't heard from 500 00:30:00,720 --> 00:30:02,560 Speaker 1: you for three weeks because I don't know you didn't 501 00:30:02,560 --> 00:30:04,479 Speaker 1: have your phone and my brother said that you've got 502 00:30:04,560 --> 00:30:09,040 Speaker 1: in trouble or he took your phone away. Whatever, you 503 00:30:09,160 --> 00:30:11,120 Speaker 1: do the Verse of the week every week, and then 504 00:30:11,120 --> 00:30:13,520 Speaker 1: maybe we'll do four verses of the week and then 505 00:30:13,520 --> 00:30:16,120 Speaker 1: I'll get you the damn Lebron's all right? Why do 506 00:30:16,160 --> 00:30:20,080 Speaker 1: you even want those sneakers like them? Whatever? Listen, you 507 00:30:20,120 --> 00:30:21,560 Speaker 1: got to do it every week. I need we need 508 00:30:21,600 --> 00:30:23,600 Speaker 1: to set a time. You need to be able to 509 00:30:23,680 --> 00:30:25,640 Speaker 1: keep your phone because your brother is not gonna let 510 00:30:25,640 --> 00:30:28,920 Speaker 1: you use your phone and then okay, okay, I'm I'm 511 00:30:29,080 --> 00:30:31,959 Speaker 1: I got my phone back and and and I want 512 00:30:32,040 --> 00:30:34,160 Speaker 1: to do it all right? So what what song you 513 00:30:34,240 --> 00:30:36,800 Speaker 1: want to do? You want to do fucking problems? Yeah 514 00:30:37,120 --> 00:30:42,040 Speaker 1: you like that song? Huh? Okay? All right, so yo, 515 00:30:42,120 --> 00:30:45,080 Speaker 1: this is Michael Rappaport. It's my cousin Duncan Rappaport, and 516 00:30:45,080 --> 00:30:47,120 Speaker 1: we're doing the Verse of the week, all right, to 517 00:30:47,200 --> 00:30:49,240 Speaker 1: break it down? Go ahead and do it. I got it, 518 00:30:49,240 --> 00:30:52,400 Speaker 1: I'm gonna do it. I love bad bitches. That's my 519 00:30:52,560 --> 00:30:55,560 Speaker 1: fucking problem. And yeah I like the funk. I gotta 520 00:30:55,600 --> 00:31:00,000 Speaker 1: fucking problem. I love bad bitches. That's my fucking problem. 521 00:30:59,800 --> 00:31:02,440 Speaker 1: And yeah I like the I like to keep going. 522 00:31:02,560 --> 00:31:06,360 Speaker 1: I like the funk. That's my fucking problem. You know 523 00:31:06,480 --> 00:31:08,720 Speaker 1: you love it when it this beat is on. Make 524 00:31:08,800 --> 00:31:11,680 Speaker 1: you want to think about all the that you'd be 525 00:31:11,800 --> 00:31:15,120 Speaker 1: leading on. Make me think about all the rappers I'll 526 00:31:15,120 --> 00:31:18,360 Speaker 1: be feeding on. Gotta feeling that there's some dudes that'd 527 00:31:18,360 --> 00:31:21,400 Speaker 1: be be speaking on. Ain't her my album? Who Are 528 00:31:21,400 --> 00:31:24,360 Speaker 1: You Sleeping On? You should print out the lyrics and 529 00:31:24,680 --> 00:31:27,840 Speaker 1: you fucking have a read along. Wait wait, wait, wait, 530 00:31:27,840 --> 00:31:31,720 Speaker 1: what do you say what that's I like that ship? 531 00:31:31,800 --> 00:31:36,360 Speaker 1: Who said that? And then ain't her my album? And 532 00:31:36,400 --> 00:31:38,920 Speaker 1: who you're sleeping on? You should print out my lyrics 533 00:31:38,920 --> 00:31:42,800 Speaker 1: and we have a fucking read along and sing along 534 00:31:42,920 --> 00:31:46,960 Speaker 1: unless you brought that wheel along. Oh oh, and just 535 00:31:47,080 --> 00:31:49,720 Speaker 1: drop down and get your ego on and we can 536 00:31:49,760 --> 00:31:52,040 Speaker 1: stare up at the stars and put the beaters on. 537 00:31:52,240 --> 00:31:54,920 Speaker 1: Oh and all this ship you're talking about, it's not 538 00:31:55,240 --> 00:31:58,520 Speaker 1: up for discussion. I'll pay the visit, bigg them and 539 00:31:58,600 --> 00:32:01,760 Speaker 1: death setson. If you come from it, I don't know. 540 00:32:01,840 --> 00:32:05,200 Speaker 1: I don't be trusting. If you're coming from my head, 541 00:32:05,560 --> 00:32:09,000 Speaker 1: then motherfucker get to busting. Good ship, Duncan. I like that. 542 00:32:09,040 --> 00:32:13,480 Speaker 1: I like to keep going, keep going. Yes, yes, lord, 543 00:32:13,840 --> 00:32:16,720 Speaker 1: I don't really say this often, but this long dick 544 00:32:17,240 --> 00:32:21,000 Speaker 1: ain't for long talk. And I beat a lot bad. 545 00:32:21,040 --> 00:32:27,280 Speaker 1: But's it. That's my fucking problem. That's a that's it. Yeah, well, yo, 546 00:32:27,400 --> 00:32:31,000 Speaker 1: that was good. You've been practicing that. Yeah, that's really 547 00:32:31,040 --> 00:32:34,840 Speaker 1: fucking good man, Duncan. That's really good. You did the 548 00:32:34,840 --> 00:32:38,000 Speaker 1: whole verse. Want me keep going? No, no, no, no, no, 549 00:32:38,000 --> 00:32:42,160 Speaker 1: no no no, that's good enough. But I'm impressed. I'm impressed. 550 00:32:42,200 --> 00:32:45,440 Speaker 1: You can't prepare today, and and and you didn't stop 551 00:32:45,520 --> 00:32:48,800 Speaker 1: and and and then you did it. So I'm I 552 00:32:48,800 --> 00:32:51,440 Speaker 1: gotta tell you that's two down, two more to go, 553 00:32:51,600 --> 00:32:57,080 Speaker 1: and I'll get you those damn sneakers. Okay, Okay, hey 554 00:32:57,200 --> 00:33:01,040 Speaker 1: uncle Mike, what can you also pay me because my 555 00:33:01,120 --> 00:33:04,360 Speaker 1: father said that you pay me. Nope, I ain't paying 556 00:33:04,440 --> 00:33:08,560 Speaker 1: your ship Duncan. Okay, we have a deal, all right. 557 00:33:08,960 --> 00:33:10,600 Speaker 1: We have a deal and we'll sticking to it and 558 00:33:10,600 --> 00:33:13,760 Speaker 1: I gotta move along. I'm proud of you. And uh, 559 00:33:13,800 --> 00:33:16,280 Speaker 1: you did a good job here, all right. So that 560 00:33:16,400 --> 00:33:18,600 Speaker 1: was my nephew Duncan doing the verse of the week, 561 00:33:19,240 --> 00:33:24,200 Speaker 1: fucking problems by Asap, Rocky, Kendrick, Lamar and Drake. I'm 562 00:33:24,240 --> 00:33:26,800 Speaker 1: not sure whose verse that was, but he did his 563 00:33:26,880 --> 00:33:35,760 Speaker 1: thing right there, all right. So I've been in uh 564 00:33:35,960 --> 00:33:42,160 Speaker 1: New York City, and I have my friend Slash. I 565 00:33:42,200 --> 00:33:43,800 Speaker 1: don't even know if I should use the word friend, 566 00:33:43,840 --> 00:33:46,440 Speaker 1: because it's that's it doesn't apply. But I have this 567 00:33:46,520 --> 00:33:51,200 Speaker 1: fucking kid, Dean Collins, who is somehow still in my life. 568 00:33:51,920 --> 00:33:55,480 Speaker 1: I don't know how he has managed to stay in 569 00:33:55,520 --> 00:33:59,440 Speaker 1: my life. The uh, the breach of trust and confidence 570 00:34:00,040 --> 00:34:05,600 Speaker 1: that has happened between us many many times, I'm the asshole. Okay, 571 00:34:05,640 --> 00:34:09,799 Speaker 1: So so I know I'm responsible because now I got 572 00:34:09,880 --> 00:34:13,640 Speaker 1: Dean while I'm out of town. I'm in New York City. 573 00:34:14,600 --> 00:34:18,400 Speaker 1: This fucking kid is is house sitting for me. Okay, 574 00:34:18,440 --> 00:34:22,360 Speaker 1: and uh he's posting picked. I said, Dean, never have 575 00:34:22,480 --> 00:34:25,560 Speaker 1: more than two people over at my house at a 576 00:34:25,640 --> 00:34:29,920 Speaker 1: fucking time. I see him on Instagram. It's like fourteen 577 00:34:29,960 --> 00:34:33,399 Speaker 1: people pick in my kitchen. They got their shirts off. 578 00:34:33,440 --> 00:34:38,120 Speaker 1: There's like girls, It's like, um, a bachelor pad over there. 579 00:34:38,680 --> 00:34:40,840 Speaker 1: You know, I'm a grown man. I I keep a 580 00:34:40,920 --> 00:34:46,080 Speaker 1: decent home. I'm very very very shockingly to people that 581 00:34:46,160 --> 00:34:50,920 Speaker 1: don't know me, an'tal retentive about cleanliness. Okay, and now 582 00:34:50,960 --> 00:34:53,400 Speaker 1: I got this guy over here. It was just supposed 583 00:34:53,400 --> 00:34:55,280 Speaker 1: to be a house sitting thing. He wasn't even supposed 584 00:34:55,320 --> 00:34:56,960 Speaker 1: to stay there every night. I was just like, come 585 00:34:57,000 --> 00:34:59,360 Speaker 1: over there every you know, maybe on the weekend spend that. 586 00:34:59,640 --> 00:35:02,040 Speaker 1: Never have more than two people over. But now it's 587 00:35:02,080 --> 00:35:04,000 Speaker 1: just a disaster. So I'm gonna try to catch this 588 00:35:04,120 --> 00:35:07,799 Speaker 1: little prick in the middle of something live on the 589 00:35:07,840 --> 00:35:10,080 Speaker 1: I M. Rappaport podcast. I'm gonna call this a little 590 00:35:10,120 --> 00:35:16,760 Speaker 1: motherfucker now and hopefully Dean Collins, who was on the 591 00:35:16,840 --> 00:35:22,320 Speaker 1: Dean Collins and Logan Lerman podcast, episode episode two, The 592 00:35:22,440 --> 00:35:26,400 Speaker 1: now famous podcast, Episode two. I'm gonna see if I 593 00:35:26,400 --> 00:35:29,279 Speaker 1: can catch this little prick live in the act of 594 00:35:29,960 --> 00:35:32,320 Speaker 1: pretty much taking over my house. It's like fucking Project 595 00:35:32,480 --> 00:35:36,799 Speaker 1: X over there, So let's see if this works. Here 596 00:35:36,800 --> 00:35:40,719 Speaker 1: we go. I'm calling him. All right, here we go. 597 00:35:41,440 --> 00:35:50,040 Speaker 1: That's ringing. This is all live. Shit you, Dean, I'm 598 00:35:50,040 --> 00:36:02,520 Speaker 1: gonna get you a little prick. Dean, It's me you fuck, 599 00:36:02,600 --> 00:36:05,960 Speaker 1: It's Michael Rappaport, the person whose house you're staying at. 600 00:36:06,600 --> 00:36:14,200 Speaker 1: Hold on it, Dean, turn the fucking music down. Are 601 00:36:14,239 --> 00:36:17,120 Speaker 1: you at my house? Yeah? I'm just kicking it. What's 602 00:36:17,120 --> 00:36:22,239 Speaker 1: going on with you? Dan? Dean? Excuse me? No? How 603 00:36:22,360 --> 00:36:24,600 Speaker 1: is how New York? What's happening in New York's great? 604 00:36:24,680 --> 00:36:28,400 Speaker 1: But but but why is there a picture on Instagram 605 00:36:28,440 --> 00:36:33,000 Speaker 1: of you? In my pool? Were like fourteen children kids 606 00:36:34,000 --> 00:36:36,160 Speaker 1: and and I said, Dean, if you're gonna house it, 607 00:36:36,200 --> 00:36:38,400 Speaker 1: and you agreed to it, and I did everything but 608 00:36:38,480 --> 00:36:40,839 Speaker 1: make you sign a physical piece of paper. I said, 609 00:36:41,080 --> 00:36:43,000 Speaker 1: if you're gonna house it, don't have any more than 610 00:36:43,040 --> 00:36:44,879 Speaker 1: two people over and I don't want any girls over. 611 00:36:45,040 --> 00:36:46,759 Speaker 1: And now it looks like no, no no, no, no, no 612 00:36:46,760 --> 00:36:49,439 Speaker 1: no no no you said you said, you said four 613 00:36:49,480 --> 00:36:52,120 Speaker 1: people over. I haven't had like anybody over. But but 614 00:36:52,239 --> 00:36:55,880 Speaker 1: what what's the bullshit on Instagram? What what? What do 615 00:36:55,920 --> 00:36:58,080 Speaker 1: you mean? I see pictures of you in my pool 616 00:36:58,080 --> 00:37:02,719 Speaker 1: with girls and ship like there's like thirteen people over. No, 617 00:37:02,880 --> 00:37:05,200 Speaker 1: that that wasn't like me. That wasn't like for me. 618 00:37:05,320 --> 00:37:07,880 Speaker 1: That was like like I was doing like um, like 619 00:37:07,920 --> 00:37:09,839 Speaker 1: a charity thing that day, and I just was like, oh, 620 00:37:09,960 --> 00:37:13,800 Speaker 1: you like, I'll take care of like whoever. No no, no, 621 00:37:13,920 --> 00:37:17,120 Speaker 1: no, no no, no no, Dean, listen to me, good okay, because 622 00:37:17,160 --> 00:37:19,560 Speaker 1: I'm telling you I'm gonna call the security company and 623 00:37:19,600 --> 00:37:23,960 Speaker 1: you're gonna get fucking arrested. Turn that guy, damn fucking 624 00:37:24,040 --> 00:37:26,600 Speaker 1: music down. Who's over there? Now? Was like, hold on, 625 00:37:26,640 --> 00:37:31,120 Speaker 1: I'm gonna go over there. Who's over there? Now? Hear me? Dean? 626 00:37:31,200 --> 00:37:34,520 Speaker 1: I said, who is in my house that I own 627 00:37:34,840 --> 00:37:37,640 Speaker 1: that you are supposed to be house sitting now? Right now? 628 00:37:37,680 --> 00:37:42,359 Speaker 1: Who's in there? No? No, no, no, no, it's yeah, 629 00:37:42,440 --> 00:37:45,839 Speaker 1: no no it's nobody. I just stepped out. No who 630 00:37:45,840 --> 00:37:47,839 Speaker 1: We were just saying, turn the music down to Oh 631 00:37:47,880 --> 00:37:50,120 Speaker 1: that was that was Daniel, you know Daniels and who 632 00:37:50,120 --> 00:37:55,920 Speaker 1: else just Daniels. It's just Daniel over there right now. Yeah, 633 00:37:56,040 --> 00:37:58,480 Speaker 1: you know there's been like you know, I haven't want 634 00:37:58,560 --> 00:38:00,759 Speaker 1: to call you like bother you whatever, but there's been 635 00:38:00,800 --> 00:38:02,960 Speaker 1: like a lot of ship that's been Like wrong with 636 00:38:03,360 --> 00:38:07,160 Speaker 1: your house. That's like kind of out of my hands, Dean, 637 00:38:07,200 --> 00:38:09,759 Speaker 1: what what what the fuck are you talking about? Like 638 00:38:09,800 --> 00:38:12,719 Speaker 1: what's wrong my house? Well, you told me like you 639 00:38:12,760 --> 00:38:14,799 Speaker 1: were like, yo, you could use the pool, like if 640 00:38:14,840 --> 00:38:16,680 Speaker 1: it's just me and like one other friend, but like 641 00:38:16,760 --> 00:38:20,080 Speaker 1: your pool, like I don't know if it like was 642 00:38:20,120 --> 00:38:22,880 Speaker 1: screwed up before I got there, but like the pool 643 00:38:22,960 --> 00:38:27,120 Speaker 1: is like overflowing? Is that like I feel like I 644 00:38:27,160 --> 00:38:29,319 Speaker 1: don't I feel like you had that problem meaning you 645 00:38:29,320 --> 00:38:31,239 Speaker 1: were telling mean no, no, no, no, no, no no. 646 00:38:31,280 --> 00:38:33,920 Speaker 1: I never told you that there was a problem with 647 00:38:33,960 --> 00:38:35,640 Speaker 1: the pool. There's never been a pool. What do you 648 00:38:35,680 --> 00:38:39,839 Speaker 1: mean overflowing? What does that mean? There was like a 649 00:38:39,840 --> 00:38:42,000 Speaker 1: hose in the pool because I think that guy mixed 650 00:38:42,040 --> 00:38:44,480 Speaker 1: that lives in your backhouse. It was like, yo, if 651 00:38:44,480 --> 00:38:47,080 Speaker 1: you just put if you put the hose in the pool, 652 00:38:47,760 --> 00:38:51,720 Speaker 1: like there's no hose in the pool. Take the hose 653 00:38:51,800 --> 00:38:54,799 Speaker 1: out of the pool. Why is there a hose in 654 00:38:54,880 --> 00:38:57,640 Speaker 1: the pool? Is it is the hose on? No, no, no no, 655 00:38:57,760 --> 00:38:59,480 Speaker 1: I turned it off. I think that dude mixed that 656 00:38:59,520 --> 00:39:02,760 Speaker 1: your friends it or whatever. No, no, he's not supposed 657 00:39:02,800 --> 00:39:05,960 Speaker 1: to even be there anymore, is he has he been 658 00:39:06,000 --> 00:39:09,600 Speaker 1: coming back? You've been like living in the guest house, 659 00:39:09,640 --> 00:39:13,080 Speaker 1: like bringing like different people back and like like he's cool. 660 00:39:13,280 --> 00:39:15,279 Speaker 1: He said that you go. No no, no, no no 661 00:39:15,280 --> 00:39:20,080 Speaker 1: no no, no, no no no. Listen to me right now. Okay, 662 00:39:20,800 --> 00:39:24,120 Speaker 1: I don't want you to be doing this anymore. Okay, 663 00:39:24,160 --> 00:39:26,080 Speaker 1: and I need you to send me like a video 664 00:39:26,080 --> 00:39:28,000 Speaker 1: of well, what's what's going on with the pool? Because 665 00:39:28,000 --> 00:39:30,520 Speaker 1: if my pool's overflowing, you need to call the Puerto 666 00:39:30,600 --> 00:39:34,680 Speaker 1: Rican guy, the Puerto Rican pool got to come fix it. Okay, No, 667 00:39:35,000 --> 00:39:39,240 Speaker 1: it's fine, dude, everything's fine. Like, don't maybe it sounds 668 00:39:39,239 --> 00:39:41,680 Speaker 1: like I'm making it sound worse, but like, by the way, 669 00:39:42,120 --> 00:39:44,760 Speaker 1: is your neighbor's name Roberta? Do you have a neighbor 670 00:39:44,840 --> 00:39:50,640 Speaker 1: name Roberta? Yeah, she is so so cool. She's been 671 00:39:50,640 --> 00:39:54,000 Speaker 1: coming over like before the whole the whole like overflowing thing. 672 00:39:54,080 --> 00:39:57,640 Speaker 1: Like we've been swimming and like she's she's like she's 673 00:39:57,680 --> 00:40:00,200 Speaker 1: like seventy six and she she can do like breast show. 674 00:40:00,200 --> 00:40:03,799 Speaker 1: It's like whatever, it's crazy. What are you talking to 675 00:40:03,840 --> 00:40:07,920 Speaker 1: me about? What are you talking about? The girl that 676 00:40:08,000 --> 00:40:10,200 Speaker 1: lives to the right, the house on the right, and 677 00:40:10,200 --> 00:40:12,960 Speaker 1: that's to you, Roberta. She doesn't come into my house? 678 00:40:14,840 --> 00:40:18,839 Speaker 1: What's dean? Listen to me, Okay, I want you to 679 00:40:18,880 --> 00:40:21,239 Speaker 1: get out of my house. I want you to lock 680 00:40:21,320 --> 00:40:24,160 Speaker 1: everything up. I want you to vacuum the entire house 681 00:40:24,239 --> 00:40:26,520 Speaker 1: as I showed you. I want you to fucking clean 682 00:40:26,560 --> 00:40:28,440 Speaker 1: the house. And this is done. I don't need you 683 00:40:28,480 --> 00:40:31,359 Speaker 1: to house it anymore. No, no, no, no, you listen 684 00:40:31,440 --> 00:40:33,200 Speaker 1: to me. I want you to take my dog to 685 00:40:33,280 --> 00:40:36,799 Speaker 1: the dog place. I don't want you to do it anymore. Okay, 686 00:40:37,040 --> 00:40:41,600 Speaker 1: how by the way, really quick your dog. Everything's fine, 687 00:40:41,920 --> 00:40:46,920 Speaker 1: don't worry, but the dog is gone last night and 688 00:40:46,960 --> 00:40:49,680 Speaker 1: then he came back today, Like I feel like, like 689 00:40:49,960 --> 00:40:52,120 Speaker 1: is he supposed like he sleeps out a lot and 690 00:40:52,160 --> 00:40:55,080 Speaker 1: then he comes back like and because he doesn't talk, 691 00:40:55,120 --> 00:40:57,120 Speaker 1: I'm not allowed to be like yo, you're like you're 692 00:40:57,120 --> 00:40:59,400 Speaker 1: cirkkeew this time, Like I feel like he's like crushing 693 00:40:59,560 --> 00:41:01,960 Speaker 1: like some other girl dog or like eating some girl dog. 694 00:41:02,719 --> 00:41:07,759 Speaker 1: What are you talking about? Like the dog really uh? 695 00:41:08,160 --> 00:41:10,640 Speaker 1: Like he comes like in in the house, like for 696 00:41:10,680 --> 00:41:12,719 Speaker 1: breakfast or whatever, like in the mornings, but usually like 697 00:41:12,760 --> 00:41:15,240 Speaker 1: at night. Dude, What the funk are you talking about? 698 00:41:15,280 --> 00:41:17,800 Speaker 1: Why is the dog out of the house without you? 699 00:41:18,040 --> 00:41:21,160 Speaker 1: What are you talking about? Dog? What you told me? 700 00:41:21,160 --> 00:41:24,800 Speaker 1: You're an outside dog? No, motherfucker, the dog doesn't go outside. 701 00:41:24,880 --> 00:41:26,759 Speaker 1: You take the dog for a walk. The fucking dog 702 00:41:26,840 --> 00:41:32,200 Speaker 1: isn't sleep outside. Are you freaking crazy? No? No, no, 703 00:41:32,280 --> 00:41:35,320 Speaker 1: I want you to get out the end of the house. Sitting. Okay, 704 00:41:35,360 --> 00:41:40,719 Speaker 1: that's it. Sitting Why you told me? Because you told 705 00:41:40,760 --> 00:41:42,160 Speaker 1: me that I'm allowed to stay at your house. I 706 00:41:42,160 --> 00:41:44,840 Speaker 1: don't have any place to go right now? Why go 707 00:41:45,000 --> 00:41:48,040 Speaker 1: back to your parents house? I can't. Why not parents? 708 00:41:48,960 --> 00:41:55,799 Speaker 1: Because it was because it was what? Okay, because of 709 00:41:55,840 --> 00:41:59,880 Speaker 1: what I'm asking you a question? Because of what? Because 710 00:42:00,080 --> 00:42:02,680 Speaker 1: I had a party at my parents house for my 711 00:42:02,760 --> 00:42:05,799 Speaker 1: twenty fourth birthday and someone fell down the stairs and 712 00:42:05,840 --> 00:42:10,120 Speaker 1: I invited three people and they ended up kicking me 713 00:42:10,160 --> 00:42:12,759 Speaker 1: out as a punishment, And like, I mean, I was 714 00:42:12,800 --> 00:42:15,120 Speaker 1: surprised when you asked me to, like how sit for you, 715 00:42:15,160 --> 00:42:17,200 Speaker 1: but like you know, I would never do something like 716 00:42:17,239 --> 00:42:19,200 Speaker 1: that like at your house. Do you know I'm gonna 717 00:42:19,200 --> 00:42:22,120 Speaker 1: tell you right now, listen to me, you little fuck you, 718 00:42:22,800 --> 00:42:27,680 Speaker 1: you little funck boy, little funck boy, little funck boy, 719 00:42:27,880 --> 00:42:32,480 Speaker 1: don't call me that little fun little fun boy. You 720 00:42:32,560 --> 00:42:35,279 Speaker 1: get sack out of my house. I'm gonna call the 721 00:42:35,480 --> 00:42:37,640 Speaker 1: s s A security and I'm going to tell them 722 00:42:37,640 --> 00:42:39,839 Speaker 1: to knock on the door and they're gonna come over there. 723 00:42:40,000 --> 00:42:42,000 Speaker 1: And if there's more than one person and you're in 724 00:42:42,040 --> 00:42:44,560 Speaker 1: there with you, you get the funk out, okay, And 725 00:42:44,600 --> 00:42:49,920 Speaker 1: you actually because you can't call the security because the 726 00:42:49,960 --> 00:42:53,120 Speaker 1: alarm system has been kind of wacky. Like honestly, I 727 00:42:53,120 --> 00:42:54,480 Speaker 1: didn't want to say this while you were gone. I 728 00:42:54,520 --> 00:42:58,560 Speaker 1: was gonna wait to come back. But I'm pretty I'm 729 00:42:58,600 --> 00:43:02,200 Speaker 1: like a hundred for setting positive your house is haunted 730 00:43:02,520 --> 00:43:07,040 Speaker 1: because I was sleeping in your bed and wait wait, 731 00:43:07,080 --> 00:43:10,480 Speaker 1: whoa whoa, whoa whoa whoa you were sleeping where I 732 00:43:10,560 --> 00:43:13,560 Speaker 1: was sleeping. I was sleeping in the bed um in 733 00:43:13,600 --> 00:43:16,120 Speaker 1: your kid's bed. And then and then I told you 734 00:43:16,280 --> 00:43:19,439 Speaker 1: d not even to go upstairs. I told you don't 735 00:43:19,480 --> 00:43:22,040 Speaker 1: sleep in the fucking bed, I said a fucking couch, 736 00:43:22,239 --> 00:43:24,760 Speaker 1: and I said, don't go upstairs. I said, don't sleep 737 00:43:24,760 --> 00:43:26,439 Speaker 1: in my bed. You said, can I see being the kids? 738 00:43:26,440 --> 00:43:28,759 Speaker 1: Who excuse me? And I said, do not sleep in 739 00:43:28,760 --> 00:43:32,480 Speaker 1: my children's bed. That's fucking great. I had to. I couldn't. 740 00:43:32,480 --> 00:43:35,960 Speaker 1: I could not stay downstairs anymore. At four in the morning, 741 00:43:36,280 --> 00:43:39,799 Speaker 1: you're so no speaker. The jazz music there was like 742 00:43:39,840 --> 00:43:43,640 Speaker 1: some creepy like straight out of like the Shining or 743 00:43:43,960 --> 00:43:46,319 Speaker 1: the Conjuring or something. It just it came on at 744 00:43:46,360 --> 00:43:48,600 Speaker 1: four in the morning. I thought it was like an alarm, 745 00:43:48,640 --> 00:43:50,919 Speaker 1: and then I realized it wasn't. And ever since then, 746 00:43:51,480 --> 00:43:54,759 Speaker 1: I've been like really uncomfortable. And listen to me. No, 747 00:43:54,920 --> 00:43:57,200 Speaker 1: I don't give a ship, your little pussy, your little 748 00:43:57,239 --> 00:43:59,960 Speaker 1: fucking little scared, little pussy dude, don't go into my 749 00:44:00,200 --> 00:44:02,920 Speaker 1: You how you react if the jazz music came on 750 00:44:02,960 --> 00:44:05,080 Speaker 1: at for it, I don't give a ship. Turn it off. 751 00:44:05,160 --> 00:44:07,040 Speaker 1: I don't give a ship, Dean. I do not want 752 00:44:07,080 --> 00:44:09,759 Speaker 1: you upstairs. I don't even want you upstairs either. The 753 00:44:09,840 --> 00:44:12,680 Speaker 1: agreement was you could sleep on the couch. You need 754 00:44:12,760 --> 00:44:15,360 Speaker 1: to put a sheet down of your own on the couch. 755 00:44:15,560 --> 00:44:18,120 Speaker 1: You need to put something between you and your body 756 00:44:18,320 --> 00:44:21,160 Speaker 1: and my couch, and I want you all the lawn tree. 757 00:44:21,239 --> 00:44:23,200 Speaker 1: By the way, I washed all the sheet You're not 758 00:44:23,400 --> 00:44:28,480 Speaker 1: wor Dean. I'm telling you right now, I'm I'm calling 759 00:44:28,480 --> 00:44:30,279 Speaker 1: your parents and you need to get the funk out. 760 00:44:30,320 --> 00:44:33,200 Speaker 1: I don't care. You're not my son. You need to 761 00:44:33,200 --> 00:44:35,640 Speaker 1: get the funk out. You're not my responsibility. You have 762 00:44:35,680 --> 00:44:38,759 Speaker 1: to get the funk out. Okay, I'm gonna send the 763 00:44:38,800 --> 00:44:42,799 Speaker 1: security Dan. I'm gonna send the security people over in 764 00:44:42,800 --> 00:44:44,680 Speaker 1: about in an hour, and if you're still there, I'm 765 00:44:44,680 --> 00:44:46,800 Speaker 1: gonna tell him the fucking day. Then Michael said, to 766 00:44:46,840 --> 00:44:48,319 Speaker 1: get the funk out and you could talk to the 767 00:44:48,320 --> 00:44:51,160 Speaker 1: guy with the gun. Why are you so mad though, 768 00:44:51,800 --> 00:44:54,160 Speaker 1: because you're telling me crazy shit about my pool and 769 00:44:54,160 --> 00:44:57,439 Speaker 1: you fucking let the dogs sleep outside the Pool's fine. 770 00:44:57,480 --> 00:45:01,760 Speaker 1: On the first of all, Don seemed to be fine. Okay, 771 00:45:01,840 --> 00:45:04,040 Speaker 1: it was it was whining, it was it was crying, 772 00:45:04,040 --> 00:45:06,400 Speaker 1: and I let him out and he came back. I 773 00:45:06,520 --> 00:45:09,040 Speaker 1: freaked out the first day. He's fine. I think he's 774 00:45:09,120 --> 00:45:13,240 Speaker 1: dating somebody, and you know, you're I think it sounds crazy, 775 00:45:13,280 --> 00:45:17,719 Speaker 1: but yeah, he's like happy, and you know what, I'm 776 00:45:17,760 --> 00:45:20,719 Speaker 1: recording you for the fucking podcast. How do you like that? 777 00:45:20,800 --> 00:45:23,359 Speaker 1: You fuck? How do you like that? Now? Right now? 778 00:45:23,440 --> 00:45:28,279 Speaker 1: You fucking asshole. I'm excuse me, am I on it 779 00:45:28,400 --> 00:45:31,240 Speaker 1: right yeah, you're on it right now, you motherfucker. Okay, 780 00:45:31,360 --> 00:45:33,160 Speaker 1: and I don't give a fucking ship if it's illegal 781 00:45:33,280 --> 00:45:36,560 Speaker 1: or whatever. I'm sucking recording your little fucking ass. Stop 782 00:45:36,719 --> 00:45:40,200 Speaker 1: stop playing those drums. Hold on this, I got like 783 00:45:40,320 --> 00:45:44,960 Speaker 1: to hear the drumming. Who's playing him? Like? Well, you 784 00:45:45,080 --> 00:45:48,480 Speaker 1: said like only four people, so people my friends banned 785 00:45:48,520 --> 00:45:54,600 Speaker 1: over and listen. I want put me on speaker right now, 786 00:45:56,120 --> 00:45:59,400 Speaker 1: speaker to talk to these little pricks. Okay, hold on, 787 00:45:59,400 --> 00:46:05,640 Speaker 1: hold on, hello, Hello, listen, everybody that is in my house. 788 00:46:05,920 --> 00:46:10,000 Speaker 1: This is Michael. Get the funk out, Okay, get the 789 00:46:10,040 --> 00:46:13,719 Speaker 1: funk out because you're in there illegally. You're not invited, 790 00:46:14,880 --> 00:46:19,120 Speaker 1: my throat. Shut up, shut up. I did not tell 791 00:46:19,160 --> 00:46:22,320 Speaker 1: Dean he could have people over. Apparently his own parents 792 00:46:22,360 --> 00:46:24,239 Speaker 1: will not let him come to his own house. And 793 00:46:24,280 --> 00:46:26,600 Speaker 1: now I want him out of my house. So I 794 00:46:26,640 --> 00:46:28,879 Speaker 1: don't care where you gotta go, but you gotta get 795 00:46:28,880 --> 00:46:31,399 Speaker 1: the funk out of here. Do you understand that? Take 796 00:46:31,440 --> 00:46:33,160 Speaker 1: me up to speak of Dean, Take me up the 797 00:46:33,160 --> 00:46:37,480 Speaker 1: speak of Dean right now, I want to picture no time, 798 00:46:37,760 --> 00:46:41,520 Speaker 1: I want a video in real time. What no one 799 00:46:41,600 --> 00:46:43,439 Speaker 1: knows you. I took you off a steacher. They don't 800 00:46:43,440 --> 00:46:45,920 Speaker 1: even know who they think. This is my house, yo, 801 00:46:46,080 --> 00:46:49,359 Speaker 1: I'm hanging up on you. You're a asshole. You are 802 00:46:49,560 --> 00:46:54,120 Speaker 1: my fucking asshole. Fine this ship, yo, get the funk out. 803 00:46:54,160 --> 00:47:05,239 Speaker 1: I'm calling security right now. All right now, we're giving 804 00:47:05,280 --> 00:47:08,640 Speaker 1: away ship. We're giving away, giving away, given away ship, 805 00:47:09,120 --> 00:47:12,920 Speaker 1: giving away, given away, given away ship, giving away, given away, 806 00:47:13,000 --> 00:47:17,120 Speaker 1: given away ship. I am wrapp report we give away ship. Yo. 807 00:47:17,800 --> 00:47:19,680 Speaker 1: I'm so glad I haven't been sued by the fucking 808 00:47:19,680 --> 00:47:22,080 Speaker 1: Red Hot Chili Peppers yet because I like those motherfucker's. 809 00:47:22,120 --> 00:47:25,319 Speaker 1: But don't don't come from me. Leave me alone. All right. 810 00:47:26,040 --> 00:47:28,560 Speaker 1: This is a mom and pop organization over here, and 811 00:47:28,600 --> 00:47:31,000 Speaker 1: I don't want any trouble from the Red Hot Chili Peppers. 812 00:47:31,040 --> 00:47:33,319 Speaker 1: All right, I'm doing a parody a fucking you want 813 00:47:33,320 --> 00:47:36,719 Speaker 1: to take me to court? Go ahead, try me. We 814 00:47:36,800 --> 00:47:39,279 Speaker 1: all know that that's your song. I'm saying, given away, 815 00:47:39,280 --> 00:47:43,960 Speaker 1: giving away ship. You don't say that, fuck you? Okay, 816 00:47:44,000 --> 00:47:48,760 Speaker 1: that's that alright. So for the giveaway this week, Instagram 817 00:47:48,800 --> 00:47:51,560 Speaker 1: if you don't have Instagram, get on your friends Instagram. 818 00:47:51,600 --> 00:47:53,960 Speaker 1: If your friends don't have Instagram, I don't know what 819 00:47:54,040 --> 00:47:55,799 Speaker 1: the fund to tell you. Man, somehow or another, you 820 00:47:55,840 --> 00:47:57,960 Speaker 1: downloaded a podcast, you can figure out how to get 821 00:47:57,960 --> 00:48:02,000 Speaker 1: on Instagram. I am on Instagram at Michael Rappaport. So 822 00:48:02,080 --> 00:48:04,400 Speaker 1: what you're going to do is you're going to sing 823 00:48:05,120 --> 00:48:08,480 Speaker 1: the giving away theme song. But you gotta do it 824 00:48:08,560 --> 00:48:11,720 Speaker 1: with like effort. You gotta do it with like something 825 00:48:11,800 --> 00:48:13,880 Speaker 1: different than I do. I'm not saying you need a 826 00:48:13,920 --> 00:48:17,120 Speaker 1: fucking full band, but I want somebody who has passion. 827 00:48:17,719 --> 00:48:20,799 Speaker 1: And I am going to give away a sick ass 828 00:48:21,280 --> 00:48:24,040 Speaker 1: American Giant hoodie. Now, let me explain something to you 829 00:48:24,080 --> 00:48:27,200 Speaker 1: about American Giant. Look it up. It's been called the 830 00:48:27,280 --> 00:48:34,280 Speaker 1: best hoodie ever made. Thick soft, Okay, thick and soft. 831 00:48:34,400 --> 00:48:37,759 Speaker 1: No Bruno sounds weird. And when I say Bruno, do 832 00:48:37,760 --> 00:48:39,320 Speaker 1: you know what I'm saying. When I say no Bruno, 833 00:48:39,360 --> 00:48:42,400 Speaker 1: I'm saying, like you remember Borat, you know that's that 834 00:48:42,440 --> 00:48:47,240 Speaker 1: movie Bruno. Like I'm saying like no Bruno, like no Homo. Okay, 835 00:48:47,920 --> 00:48:50,800 Speaker 1: So I'm saying no Bruno. So I'm saying thick and soft, 836 00:48:50,920 --> 00:48:54,000 Speaker 1: no Bruno. Because that sounds weird. Okay, but it's fun 837 00:48:54,040 --> 00:48:55,640 Speaker 1: to say no Bruno because it's funny. Then when you 838 00:48:55,719 --> 00:48:59,880 Speaker 1: realize what anyway, just do the math a sick ass 839 00:49:00,000 --> 00:49:05,279 Speaker 1: American giant hoodie. Okay, you need to instagram me a 840 00:49:05,440 --> 00:49:09,680 Speaker 1: video of yourself doing the giveaway song. But you need 841 00:49:09,719 --> 00:49:11,600 Speaker 1: to freak it. You need to remix it, you need 842 00:49:11,640 --> 00:49:14,479 Speaker 1: to do something creative. And the winner, I'm gonna pick 843 00:49:14,560 --> 00:49:18,160 Speaker 1: one winner wins an American giant hoodie. Like I said, 844 00:49:18,239 --> 00:49:24,880 Speaker 1: it's called the best hoodie ever made, thick, long, warm, comfortable. 845 00:49:25,200 --> 00:49:27,040 Speaker 1: You could sweat in it, you could sleep in it 846 00:49:27,080 --> 00:49:30,840 Speaker 1: if if that's your thing. It's got a deep hood 847 00:49:31,160 --> 00:49:33,480 Speaker 1: so you know it covers your face if you're on 848 00:49:33,520 --> 00:49:37,000 Speaker 1: the low. So the winner of this week's giving away 849 00:49:37,040 --> 00:49:41,600 Speaker 1: given away thing must sing my song given Away, given Away, 850 00:49:41,640 --> 00:49:45,360 Speaker 1: given Away Ship, given away. You heard it, but freak it, 851 00:49:45,880 --> 00:49:49,200 Speaker 1: do something creative, do something special, do it on video 852 00:49:49,400 --> 00:49:52,120 Speaker 1: fifteen seconds tag me, and I'm gonna pick one winner. 853 00:49:52,880 --> 00:49:55,879 Speaker 1: You know I love giving away ship, so if if 854 00:49:55,880 --> 00:49:59,160 Speaker 1: there's more than one great performance, I'll give away more. 855 00:49:59,800 --> 00:50:01,959 Speaker 1: A right. But the thing is that I'm always gonna 856 00:50:01,960 --> 00:50:05,200 Speaker 1: give away ship. I promise you The Iron Rapp Report Podcast. 857 00:50:05,280 --> 00:50:08,160 Speaker 1: I like giving away ship. I can't. I don't have 858 00:50:08,200 --> 00:50:10,480 Speaker 1: the fucking time to give away ship to everybody. You know, 859 00:50:10,520 --> 00:50:12,239 Speaker 1: you gotta go to the mail place. I do it 860 00:50:12,239 --> 00:50:15,719 Speaker 1: all myself, Okay, I I signed the thing. You'll you'll 861 00:50:15,719 --> 00:50:19,000 Speaker 1: see when you win some ship, you'll see terrible handwriting 862 00:50:19,360 --> 00:50:22,440 Speaker 1: your address. My name will be on there. I do 863 00:50:22,520 --> 00:50:24,759 Speaker 1: it because I like it and and and I just 864 00:50:25,040 --> 00:50:28,600 Speaker 1: I feel connected to you, to you people, for for 865 00:50:28,600 --> 00:50:32,239 Speaker 1: for participating. I appreciate it. I'm not jaded yet. Come 866 00:50:32,280 --> 00:50:34,200 Speaker 1: to me in a year. You won't. I won't fucking 867 00:50:34,480 --> 00:50:35,880 Speaker 1: I won't give you the time of day. But in 868 00:50:35,920 --> 00:50:40,480 Speaker 1: the meantime, I fucking love it. So that's the giveaway 869 00:50:40,520 --> 00:50:43,279 Speaker 1: for the week. This the I Am Wrappporp Podcast. I'm 870 00:50:43,400 --> 00:50:46,000 Speaker 1: enjoying doing it. I appreciate the support. It's free. Tell 871 00:50:46,040 --> 00:50:48,880 Speaker 1: your friends. I want more people to listen, And the 872 00:50:48,920 --> 00:50:51,080 Speaker 1: more people are listen, the more ship I'll give away. 873 00:50:51,280 --> 00:50:55,280 Speaker 1: All Right, have a fantastic week. This is Michael Rapport 874 00:50:55,280 --> 00:50:56,080 Speaker 1: and I'm signing out.