WEBVTT - The Dr. Chandra Richardson Episode Part.1 0:00:01.080 --> 0:00:05.760 You know, boys, it's back and reoded all in your mind. Yeah, 0:00:05.880 --> 0:00:08.559 not deep throating. This is for the streets, the reel, 0:00:08.680 --> 0:00:12.680 the railroading, the distant franchise, the truth escape building, and 0:00:12.800 --> 0:00:14.960 they ain't knowing we speak the truth, so they ain't 0:00:15.040 --> 0:00:18.000 quoted because we wrote it. The North South East coat 0:00:18.480 --> 0:00:21.680 g be my twe keeping your head bothering, it ain't 0:00:21.680 --> 0:00:24.799 no stopping and wants to be drops head by. And 0:00:24.840 --> 0:00:27.280 then the system is so corrupt they throw the rock 0:00:27.360 --> 0:00:29.320 out of their heads and then blame it on us. 0:00:31.040 --> 0:00:33.680 Don't get it twisted on code and we danced for 0:00:33.800 --> 0:00:39.400 no frontament biscuits. It's Willie d y'all scar faces not 0:00:39.520 --> 0:00:42.040 in the building, but I got his back. Collectively we 0:00:42.080 --> 0:00:45.560 are the ghetto Boys. Reloaded with another episode of information 0:00:45.680 --> 0:00:48.800 and instructions to help you navigate through this wild, crazy, 0:00:48.840 --> 0:00:56.120 beautiful world. In the studio, Dctor Chandra Richardson that afternoon, 0:00:56.720 --> 0:00:58.800 you got one of those names that the people gotta 0:00:59.040 --> 0:01:03.720 be mindful. It's it's Chandra, not Chandra. Yes, sir, yeah, 0:01:03.920 --> 0:01:06.840 that's correct. How you feel. I'm great. Thank you for 0:01:06.880 --> 0:01:09.480 allowing me to have the opportunity to be here and 0:01:09.520 --> 0:01:13.760 to meet you and to share what may be important 0:01:13.760 --> 0:01:16.920 to some and not so much to others. Uh huh. 0:01:17.000 --> 0:01:19.120 I like how you said that this is this is 0:01:19.160 --> 0:01:22.120 about to be very very interesting. You have a very 0:01:22.160 --> 0:01:27.039 interesting life. Some would say yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So 0:01:27.560 --> 0:01:32.720 you're a Houston native born in the trade. I always 0:01:32.760 --> 0:01:37.360 tell my students Third War to the day I die. 0:01:37.760 --> 0:01:41.360 Raised in Sunnyside. What's so special about the third Ward 0:01:41.560 --> 0:01:47.680 Sunny Side? It's it's home um Home Street, Baptist Church, 0:01:48.160 --> 0:01:53.040 a little kid, the big tree on the corner, my 0:01:53.040 --> 0:01:59.080 my uncle playing dominoes. My grandfather had an auto mechanic 0:01:59.120 --> 0:02:03.360 shop in the neighborhood. My father in law didn't know 0:02:03.400 --> 0:02:05.080 it was going to be my father in law. He 0:02:05.200 --> 0:02:08.720 also had an auto mechanic shop in the neighborhood. They 0:02:08.800 --> 0:02:15.559 were actually best friends. And of course Jackie's high school. Okay, 0:02:16.880 --> 0:02:22.400 so you raised with your mother and father. It was 0:02:22.880 --> 0:02:30.960 my mother, my grandmother and my grandfather your grandfather. Okay, 0:02:31.000 --> 0:02:37.000 now where's your father? Going on to glory that way 0:02:37.080 --> 0:02:39.680 what I'm saying, where was your father? I never knew 0:02:39.680 --> 0:02:43.120 it was growing up. In actuality, I didn't find out 0:02:43.280 --> 0:02:46.600 until right about three years ago who my father was. 0:02:47.360 --> 0:02:50.320 M hmm. He was never in the scene. So did 0:02:50.360 --> 0:02:53.560 you find out before he died? No, I was the 0:02:53.600 --> 0:03:00.160 secret child, and I actually was okay with it as 0:03:00.160 --> 0:03:02.560 an adult, but somewhere in the back of my mind 0:03:02.600 --> 0:03:05.600 there was always that I wonder, I want to know 0:03:05.680 --> 0:03:08.440 who My mother took the identity of my father to 0:03:08.520 --> 0:03:12.960 her grave. She died, it'll be it will actually be 0:03:13.080 --> 0:03:17.440 three years in May, and um, I just wanted to know. 0:03:18.200 --> 0:03:20.840 So I stepped out and did what you see people 0:03:20.840 --> 0:03:26.400 do on TV. I did ANCESTR DNA and next thing 0:03:26.440 --> 0:03:29.520 you know, someone was reaching out to me and it 0:03:29.639 --> 0:03:32.080 was a female and I said, well, she's definitely not 0:03:32.120 --> 0:03:36.520 my dad. But we communicated and we talked, and she said, 0:03:36.520 --> 0:03:39.240 what do you have any family in Beaumont? I said no. 0:03:40.440 --> 0:03:44.320 She said, well what about Louisiana. No. Keep in mind, 0:03:44.360 --> 0:03:48.160 I only know my mother's side, so all the people 0:03:48.240 --> 0:03:52.280 in places she was naming meant nothing to me. And 0:03:52.320 --> 0:03:57.280 I said, I'm looking for a male and obviously he's 0:03:57.320 --> 0:03:59.720 going to have to be somewhere close to my mother's 0:03:59.760 --> 0:04:03.320 eight each and my mother's not telling me anything. At 0:04:03.360 --> 0:04:06.040 that particular time, my mother was still alive, but it 0:04:06.120 --> 0:04:09.040 was never a subject that she wanted to discuss. So 0:04:10.360 --> 0:04:12.760 the young lady that I kept talking to, she said, well, 0:04:12.800 --> 0:04:15.040 let me do some more research. Well, she was really 0:04:15.080 --> 0:04:18.839 into ancestry DNA, and she dug deeper and deeper and deeper. 0:04:18.880 --> 0:04:21.920 She said, okay, I got some names. And I was like, okay, 0:04:22.120 --> 0:04:24.719 that means nothing because I I have nothing. My birth 0:04:24.760 --> 0:04:29.720 certificate says I know. So she said, well there's this 0:04:29.760 --> 0:04:34.200 person that again nothing and I said, uh, well, my 0:04:34.360 --> 0:04:39.479 birthday October nineteen fifty nine, and surely they would have 0:04:39.560 --> 0:04:42.560 to be older than me. So the dates that she 0:04:42.760 --> 0:04:45.160 was coming up with were within a year or two 0:04:45.240 --> 0:04:49.040 of me. And I said, well, definitely not my dad. No, no, 0:04:49.040 --> 0:04:52.520 no relationship. So she said, well, let me ask my 0:04:52.600 --> 0:04:56.600 mom to do the DNA test. She actually asked her mother, 0:04:57.200 --> 0:04:59.440 and her mother did the DNA test and it came 0:04:59.480 --> 0:05:04.680 back that we were half siblings, and she asked her aunt. 0:05:05.880 --> 0:05:08.800 Test came back, we were half siblings. She asked her 0:05:08.880 --> 0:05:12.800 other aunt. Test came back, we're half siblings. She said, 0:05:12.839 --> 0:05:16.880 well that means you're my aunt and my grandfather was 0:05:16.920 --> 0:05:21.680 your father. So she actually set everything up. We had 0:05:21.680 --> 0:05:24.479 a meeting right during the Christmas holidays. As I said, 0:05:24.480 --> 0:05:28.080 this was almost three years ago, and my half sisters 0:05:28.160 --> 0:05:31.840 and the half brother all showed up. All of our 0:05:31.880 --> 0:05:38.080 parents were deceased, and I look like them. M I 0:05:38.120 --> 0:05:42.560 looked exactly like them. And then uh, my niece named Michelle, 0:05:42.640 --> 0:05:45.520 she said, what about the little toe? Was like, what 0:05:45.560 --> 0:05:47.599 about the little toe? She said, let's see your little toe. 0:05:48.800 --> 0:05:52.160 These people are must be crazy. Okay, I showed him 0:05:52.160 --> 0:05:55.720 a little too. That's Grandpa's told that's the toe. Yes, 0:05:56.080 --> 0:05:59.480 she is ours, she is ours. So I found out 0:05:59.520 --> 0:06:03.360 I have these half sisters and a half brother and 0:06:03.560 --> 0:06:08.120 lots of nieces and nephews, and uh, everyone was very welcoming. 0:06:09.120 --> 0:06:11.120 But I told him up front, I said, please understand, 0:06:11.160 --> 0:06:15.680 I want nothing from you. I am whole, I am healed, 0:06:16.520 --> 0:06:19.200 I know who I am, but I wanted to find 0:06:19.200 --> 0:06:23.440 out who the unknown was and ancestor. DNA has the 0:06:23.480 --> 0:06:27.120 disclaimer that says, please be prepared because the results that 0:06:27.160 --> 0:06:29.279 you received may not be the ones that you expect. 0:06:30.080 --> 0:06:33.839 So I got what I did not expect, which was 0:06:34.000 --> 0:06:36.719 a lot of siblings and cousins and nieces and nephews. 0:06:36.720 --> 0:06:41.640 And it's okay, but we're very friendly. Every now and 0:06:41.640 --> 0:06:44.680 then we'll get together. But I was raised as an 0:06:44.680 --> 0:06:49.120 only child. So for me, I'm good. I don't get 0:06:49.160 --> 0:06:51.719 on the phone and call a lot. We make text 0:06:51.760 --> 0:06:53.840 every now and then just to say hi or how 0:06:53.839 --> 0:06:56.560 are you doing? But it's nice to be able to 0:06:56.560 --> 0:06:59.720 fill in the blank and know who unknown was. I mean, 0:07:00.000 --> 0:07:04.440 blens do you have but wherever you my father? The 0:07:04.560 --> 0:07:08.440 four half sisters and one half brother. One half brothers 0:07:08.480 --> 0:07:13.520 deceased and one half sister is deceased, and it's good. 0:07:14.040 --> 0:07:20.000 Now is it fair to call them half brothers and 0:07:20.040 --> 0:07:25.760 half sisters like you know, like biologically? Yes? Well, for example, 0:07:25.840 --> 0:07:31.000 like I have four sisters and brothers and we have three. 0:07:31.600 --> 0:07:34.680 Daddy is between us and we. I've never called them 0:07:34.680 --> 0:07:39.440 my half brother my half sisters. Why do we say 0:07:39.440 --> 0:07:42.920 that if, like if the dad have like we have kids, Like, 0:07:42.960 --> 0:07:45.480 if you have a sibling, that's by where of your 0:07:45.560 --> 0:07:48.040 dad will say half? But if it's mama, we just 0:07:48.080 --> 0:07:51.960 say that's my siblings, right exactly? Is that fair? I 0:07:53.440 --> 0:07:56.800 think all is fair in love and war. But nevertheless, 0:07:57.480 --> 0:07:59.840 I could have come up with any number of names 0:08:00.120 --> 0:08:06.040 referred to my father, my biological father, and my story 0:08:06.280 --> 0:08:09.120 was always centered around I don't know who my earthly 0:08:09.200 --> 0:08:11.720 father is, but I know who my heavenly father is. 0:08:12.200 --> 0:08:16.400 So I found out who my earthly father was, and 0:08:16.440 --> 0:08:21.560 I'll still say my father. The best part is I'm 0:08:21.560 --> 0:08:24.880 not angry. I wasn't angry then and I'm still not 0:08:25.000 --> 0:08:28.320 angry now. Um I can't say that for some of 0:08:28.360 --> 0:08:32.040 the members who were upset to find out that I existed, 0:08:33.040 --> 0:08:35.319 and I said, well, I'll just call it what it is. 0:08:35.760 --> 0:08:38.920 I was the bastard child. I was the one who 0:08:39.040 --> 0:08:42.080 was kept the secret. I was the one who was 0:08:42.200 --> 0:08:46.320 literally poor. But I was never made to feel that 0:08:46.400 --> 0:08:49.120 way with my mother and my my grandmother and grandfather. 0:08:49.720 --> 0:08:53.160 How did you feel growing up like not knowing who 0:08:53.200 --> 0:08:56.040 your father was. Do you think that that affected your 0:08:56.120 --> 0:08:58.680 childhood at all? I didn't miss. It's kind of hard 0:08:58.720 --> 0:09:02.320 to miss what you didn't have because my my grandfather, 0:09:02.320 --> 0:09:04.640 oh my god, she was amazing. He was the best 0:09:04.760 --> 0:09:08.440 grandfather ever. But the flip side of the story is 0:09:08.920 --> 0:09:12.000 I found out through doing ancestor DNA he was not 0:09:12.040 --> 0:09:16.840 my biological grandfather. He was not my mother's father. He 0:09:17.000 --> 0:09:20.840 was someone that married my grandmother when she was fourteen 0:09:20.920 --> 0:09:24.680 or fifteen years old because my grandmother had had a 0:09:24.679 --> 0:09:30.680 baby and her parents told her she needed someone to 0:09:30.720 --> 0:09:32.880 help take care of her and her baby. And how 0:09:32.880 --> 0:09:37.040 old was he when he married your grandmother in his thirties? 0:09:39.040 --> 0:09:48.000 M but he loved me beyond measure. Your great grandparents 0:09:48.240 --> 0:09:54.000 told your grandmother she needs she got pregnant by your 0:09:54.240 --> 0:10:00.960 biological daddy and grandfather, right, they subsequently had gotten killed. 0:10:02.720 --> 0:10:05.280 They told a fifteen year old girl she needs to 0:10:05.320 --> 0:10:07.959 marry this thirty year old guy so he can take 0:10:08.000 --> 0:10:12.520 care of the baby exactly. You know, that wouldn't fly today, 0:10:12.760 --> 0:10:14.959 But that was a different time, that was a different 0:10:15.000 --> 0:10:18.599 show that that definitely that definitely would not fly today. 0:10:18.640 --> 0:10:25.640 So you are a military woman, you are educator, you 0:10:26.760 --> 0:10:35.120 um an activist. That's fair. Where does all this come from? Yeah? 0:10:35.160 --> 0:10:39.880 I say there's a an inner spirit where being. And 0:10:40.040 --> 0:10:43.360 only many times you don't have anybody to talk for you. 0:10:44.040 --> 0:10:47.440 You don't have anybody to talk up for you. And 0:10:48.480 --> 0:10:51.160 I said that it seems like I just kind of 0:10:51.320 --> 0:10:55.440 stumbled my way into blessings. They weren't just there on 0:10:55.480 --> 0:10:57.520 the table for me to say, oh, let me get 0:10:57.520 --> 0:10:59.720 that or let me pick that one up. It wasn't 0:10:59.760 --> 0:11:04.760 like that. I just knew I was cared for by 0:11:04.760 --> 0:11:10.920 my grandmother and my grandfather, and that if I didn't 0:11:10.960 --> 0:11:16.640 speak up, I wouldn't get anything. Sometimes if I didn't 0:11:16.679 --> 0:11:18.800 open my mouth, going back to the scriptures, a close 0:11:18.880 --> 0:11:22.040 mouth doesn't get fed. So I had to start learning 0:11:22.360 --> 0:11:25.120 because that wasn't at the beginning. But as I got older, 0:11:25.360 --> 0:11:28.080 I had to open up and say I want to, 0:11:28.520 --> 0:11:31.520 I need to, I have to, I must, And more 0:11:31.600 --> 0:11:35.880 times than not, I did and also received whatever it 0:11:35.960 --> 0:11:38.600 was I was asking for. But if I didn't say anything, 0:11:38.840 --> 0:11:42.080 well I got nothing or I didn't get what I 0:11:42.120 --> 0:11:47.800 want or what I expected. Mm hmm. So walked me 0:11:48.080 --> 0:11:53.480 into the moment that you decided that the military was 0:11:53.520 --> 0:11:58.720 your calling. I was a student at Houston Community College. 0:11:59.640 --> 0:12:02.599 I had to actually decided that I wanted to be 0:12:02.640 --> 0:12:06.199 a surgical technologist, and I was going to school for that, 0:12:06.360 --> 0:12:10.080 and I was doing pretty decently. I had one instructor 0:12:10.080 --> 0:12:12.480 who sailf Honey, you'll never make it in this profession. 0:12:12.880 --> 0:12:15.720 You're too slow. You don't know what you're doing. And 0:12:16.080 --> 0:12:19.920 she was not a person of African American descent, I'll 0:12:19.960 --> 0:12:23.240 put it that way. And we just called her the 0:12:23.320 --> 0:12:26.640 dragon Lady because she was. She cut people. I mean, 0:12:26.720 --> 0:12:29.880 she cut you in your mind. She knew how to 0:12:30.000 --> 0:12:34.720 say things to you to be offensive and make you 0:12:34.720 --> 0:12:36.920 want to quit and make you want to drop out, 0:12:37.760 --> 0:12:40.720 and literally used that h worth to hate words. Oh 0:12:40.760 --> 0:12:42.720 my god, this lady. What is wrong with her? Something 0:12:42.720 --> 0:12:44.640 that's wrong world. You don't talk to people like that. 0:12:44.840 --> 0:12:47.560 You don't treat people like that. And I wasn't good 0:12:47.600 --> 0:12:50.160 at what I was doing, and it was hard for me, 0:12:50.840 --> 0:12:53.079 but I was determined she was not going to make 0:12:53.120 --> 0:12:55.600 me quit. If I wanted to quit, that was me. 0:12:56.160 --> 0:12:59.480 But I wasn't going to let her, a person, make 0:12:59.559 --> 0:13:04.040 me quit. So I just started working harder. And one 0:13:04.080 --> 0:13:06.320 day she came in she said, oh, y'all, guess what 0:13:06.360 --> 0:13:09.080 I did. And we're like what she said, I signed 0:13:09.160 --> 0:13:11.520 up for the Navy. Oh, and I'm gonna have these 0:13:11.600 --> 0:13:14.200 cute little uniforms and I'm gonna make all this extra 0:13:14.280 --> 0:13:18.400 money and I'm gonna do this a lot extra money. 0:13:18.600 --> 0:13:22.000 That that sounds kind of good to me. So next 0:13:22.000 --> 0:13:24.080 thing you know, I finished the program and I got 0:13:24.120 --> 0:13:27.080 certified and I was actually working in the hospital scrubbing 0:13:27.080 --> 0:13:30.360 as a surgical tech. My favorite was labor and delivery, 0:13:30.360 --> 0:13:34.680 and I could do cardiovascular surgery without blinking an eye 0:13:34.760 --> 0:13:37.040 because I had grown into it. I learned to love it. 0:13:37.760 --> 0:13:40.640 So you got your PhD before you went to No, no, no, 0:13:40.679 --> 0:13:42.800 this is the last. This was on the last leg 0:13:42.880 --> 0:13:47.080 of the career. So I actually went to a recruiter 0:13:47.679 --> 0:13:50.160 and said, well, my teacher says she was enlisting and 0:13:50.200 --> 0:13:52.720 I wanted to find out about doing that. And the 0:13:52.760 --> 0:13:55.240 guy said, okay, uh, what do you do? And I 0:13:55.280 --> 0:13:57.800 told him. He said you have certification. I said yes. 0:13:58.040 --> 0:13:59.640 He said you have a degree, and said yeah, I 0:13:59.679 --> 0:14:03.640 have associates degree and my associate's degree was in biology. 0:14:03.800 --> 0:14:07.000 I wanted to have a medical field, so he said, okay, 0:14:07.160 --> 0:14:08.880 sign here, and I said, well, do I have to 0:14:08.920 --> 0:14:11.080 do all the stuff that everybody else has to do. 0:14:11.520 --> 0:14:13.680 He said, well, we'll write that in so you don't 0:14:13.720 --> 0:14:16.200 have to do a lot of the initial things. And 0:14:16.240 --> 0:14:20.160 I said okay, So I signed up. That was all 0:14:20.200 --> 0:14:24.240 she wrote and I was in for a minute. And 0:14:24.400 --> 0:14:28.040 next thing you know, came there as a storm and 0:14:28.080 --> 0:14:30.880 I was supposed to ship out, and at that time 0:14:30.960 --> 0:14:34.000 I had gone to the what we used to have 0:14:34.000 --> 0:14:38.480 facilities on OST. I went to OST to pick up 0:14:38.480 --> 0:14:41.120 my sea bag and I had to do all the 0:14:41.160 --> 0:14:45.320 medical tests to go out. That's the Green Military Duffel 0:14:45.360 --> 0:14:49.120 bag where you put everything, that's the value, your whole 0:14:49.120 --> 0:14:54.480 life is in there, right. I still have mine, So yeah, 0:14:54.840 --> 0:14:57.280 don't have my tags. I don't know where they are. 0:14:57.360 --> 0:15:00.680 But I got my bag. I got my bag. So 0:15:01.000 --> 0:15:05.240 um I went and they called me into another area 0:15:05.240 --> 0:15:07.800 and so, okay, we're doing some tests and we're not 0:15:07.800 --> 0:15:09.960 sure about these tests. We need to do some more 0:15:10.000 --> 0:15:14.000 tests they're talking about. And they said, oh, you're not 0:15:14.040 --> 0:15:15.800 gonna ship out. You need to go over to this 0:15:15.840 --> 0:15:19.200 other room. What the heck? Why? Why? I don't understand 0:15:19.240 --> 0:15:23.320 what's going on. Well, I was pregnant and didn't know 0:15:23.360 --> 0:15:28.720 I was pregnant. My grandmother subsequently, right about that time, 0:15:28.800 --> 0:15:31.800 had passed away. She has to come to breast cancer 0:15:32.720 --> 0:15:37.040 and I've been with her all my life. And I 0:15:37.080 --> 0:15:40.760 started to feel bad, really really bad. Need to send. 0:15:40.760 --> 0:15:43.000 My grandfather passed away when I was about nine or 0:15:43.080 --> 0:15:46.200 ten years old, but my grandmother that was that was 0:15:46.240 --> 0:15:50.000 my rock, and I just I just couldn't shake the funk. 0:15:50.320 --> 0:15:53.160 I just I couldn't stop crying. I was feeling bad, 0:15:54.200 --> 0:15:57.240 and it's like, Okay, it's the it's the death. I 0:15:57.280 --> 0:16:01.040 know it's the death. But when the Navy people said, 0:16:01.080 --> 0:16:03.400 and I say, oh, I know that can't be true. 0:16:03.800 --> 0:16:06.560 So I went to the doctor, who actually was the 0:16:06.640 --> 0:16:08.640 doctor that I was working with on a lot of 0:16:08.640 --> 0:16:11.880 the surgeries, and she said, okay, we're gonna do the 0:16:11.920 --> 0:16:17.280 test and uh, congratulations. No y'all are in the wrong room. 0:16:17.360 --> 0:16:20.200 That's no, no, that's that's not mean, that's and no, 0:16:20.920 --> 0:16:24.200 that is you. And I started crying. She said, what 0:16:24.240 --> 0:16:25.920 are you crying for? You know what you did. What 0:16:25.960 --> 0:16:30.480 you're crying for? I said, well that she was a 0:16:30.600 --> 0:16:33.960 very wonderful woman, needless to say, and I thought, oh, 0:16:33.960 --> 0:16:37.400 this wasn't what I was expecting. She said, well, you 0:16:37.440 --> 0:16:41.200 need to get yourself together and decide what you're going 0:16:41.280 --> 0:16:45.480 to do. If we're going to have a baby, I 0:16:45.560 --> 0:16:48.320 will help you and we will have a help healthy, 0:16:48.360 --> 0:16:51.800 happy baby. If you're not going to have the baby, 0:16:52.160 --> 0:16:54.880 I don't do that, but I will send you somewhere 0:16:55.000 --> 0:16:57.720 where they take care of that. And then I started 0:16:57.760 --> 0:16:59.920 crying even more. She said, Okay, I'm gonna give you 0:17:00.000 --> 0:17:03.040 about two more minutes to get it together and stop crying. 0:17:03.600 --> 0:17:05.640 I said, do I have to make up my mind today? 0:17:06.720 --> 0:17:10.600 Because at that time, my daughter's father and I we 0:17:10.600 --> 0:17:15.080 were not together. I had discovered right about the time 0:17:15.119 --> 0:17:18.240 that my grandmother had passed away, that he was a 0:17:19.359 --> 0:17:20.560 kind of person that I don't want to spend the 0:17:20.640 --> 0:17:23.720 rest of my life with. And he was doing things 0:17:23.720 --> 0:17:26.199 that I was not agreeing with, and he was an 0:17:26.240 --> 0:17:29.720 habitual liar. And I started catching him more and more 0:17:29.760 --> 0:17:32.159 and more right about that time, and I said, you 0:17:32.240 --> 0:17:34.880 know it's over. We're done. I can't do this with 0:17:34.920 --> 0:17:38.439 you anymore. And he was like, oh, it's it's just 0:17:38.480 --> 0:17:40.359 your emotions. Your home a little that I know it 0:17:40.480 --> 0:17:43.440 was my emotions, that my hormones was still the veil 0:17:43.520 --> 0:17:47.640 had been pulled away, and I realized, he's a idiot. 0:17:48.520 --> 0:17:52.959 I cannot do this, I cannot knowingly do this, so 0:17:53.119 --> 0:17:57.960 so I'll just be on my own. And his family 0:17:58.080 --> 0:18:00.440 was adamant that if I chose not to with him, 0:18:00.440 --> 0:18:03.920 they would not help me. When I said, okay, that's fine, 0:18:04.400 --> 0:18:07.560 I'll be all right because I had a job, and 0:18:07.600 --> 0:18:11.439 I had a career and I had a degree, so 0:18:12.600 --> 0:18:15.840 Navy it was on whole. I went back to working 0:18:15.840 --> 0:18:18.919 in the hospital. I worked all the way up until 0:18:19.240 --> 0:18:21.800 it was time to have my baby. Had my baby 0:18:21.840 --> 0:18:24.520 there in the hospital, my mom was there to support 0:18:24.600 --> 0:18:29.280 me and my baby was ill and I was ill. 0:18:30.040 --> 0:18:33.720 I stayed in the hospital maybe about a week. When 0:18:33.760 --> 0:18:36.760 we came home, she was very jaundice and my blood 0:18:36.800 --> 0:18:39.159 pressure was through the roof. Never had blood pressure problems, 0:18:39.200 --> 0:18:42.560 and just for whatever reason, things were not going as 0:18:42.560 --> 0:18:46.840 well as we had thought. Next thing, you know, um, 0:18:46.880 --> 0:18:50.080 about a week or two later, baby and I are 0:18:50.119 --> 0:18:52.320 out and we're going to visit the nurse who helped 0:18:52.320 --> 0:18:56.359 deliver my daughter, because till this day that's over thirty years, 0:18:56.359 --> 0:18:59.879 were still very good friends, and someone rear ended me, 0:19:01.240 --> 0:19:04.240 at which point I went back up in the hospital, 0:19:04.840 --> 0:19:07.000 staying there another two weeks, and my baby was home. 0:19:07.960 --> 0:19:10.639 So I was going through it all kinds of ways 0:19:10.760 --> 0:19:12.879 because I couldn't see her, I couldn't be around her. 0:19:12.920 --> 0:19:15.240 I wanted to bond with her, so my friends would 0:19:15.240 --> 0:19:20.480 bring her for me to see her. And obviously I've recovered, 0:19:20.520 --> 0:19:24.800 because here I am, but I was not necessarily in 0:19:24.840 --> 0:19:28.879 the best of physical shape. And I was told because 0:19:28.920 --> 0:19:32.520 of the car accident that I could not go back 0:19:32.520 --> 0:19:36.280 into the career that I've had, which was surgery. And 0:19:36.320 --> 0:19:38.880 if you see the TV shows, people are standing, they're 0:19:38.920 --> 0:19:42.000 not sitting doing surgery. So they said well, no, that 0:19:42.000 --> 0:19:43.480 that wouldn't be good for you. And I thought, oh 0:19:43.480 --> 0:19:45.720 my god, what am I supposed to do? I never 0:19:45.760 --> 0:19:49.240 thought about not doing that, and now I've got a 0:19:49.240 --> 0:19:55.160 baby to take care of. So my military connections said, well, 0:19:55.280 --> 0:19:58.159 you know, you got a lot of college hours. Have 0:19:58.280 --> 0:20:03.119 you ever thought about teaching? Teaching? Teaching? What? That's not 0:20:03.200 --> 0:20:06.560 what I planned on doing. I don't even know how 0:20:06.600 --> 0:20:09.639 to do that. And they said, well, we got g 0:20:09.760 --> 0:20:13.000 I money, got military benefits. We'll pay for you to 0:20:13.000 --> 0:20:16.800 go to school. And are you still enjoying the benefits 0:20:16.800 --> 0:20:27.080 of military in a roundabout way? Not? Because he was right, 0:20:27.560 --> 0:20:31.600 So that's that's a work in progress. I'm sorry. Where 0:20:31.640 --> 0:20:34.840 how long were you in the military? I got credit 0:20:34.920 --> 0:20:41.040 for eight years honorable discharge. H But I see, well 0:20:41.080 --> 0:20:43.120 that's more than what a few people I know that's 0:20:44.440 --> 0:20:49.280 eating good off off their military benefits. I mean they should. 0:20:49.800 --> 0:20:52.480 Oh that's the that's next. If you need some help 0:20:52.520 --> 0:20:54.720 to I know somebody who's very very good and get you. 0:20:55.880 --> 0:20:58.320 Remember what I said about the clothes mouth doesn't get fed. 0:20:58.720 --> 0:21:01.720 So I'll say it right now. I need some help. 0:21:02.000 --> 0:21:06.080 I got and I'm ready to receive it. Absolutely. We 0:21:06.160 --> 0:21:11.159 shall talk after this agree boys reloaded podcast will be 0:21:11.280 --> 0:21:21.200 right back after the pot Let's go back to the military. 0:21:22.080 --> 0:21:27.680 While serving in the military, did you ever experience any 0:21:27.720 --> 0:21:30.560 type of sexual harassment in the military, Because I know 0:21:30.640 --> 0:21:33.520 it's a big deal. That scares me about women in 0:21:33.520 --> 0:21:37.000 the military, because I have family members who are in 0:21:37.000 --> 0:21:40.000 the military or female, and that always scared the hell 0:21:40.040 --> 0:21:44.520 out of me about that. How pervasive it is. You 0:21:44.600 --> 0:21:49.240 ever experienced something like that, um to the degree of 0:21:49.320 --> 0:21:52.960 where it was flirtatious, only no one ever put their 0:21:52.960 --> 0:21:55.760 hands on me. I was never in an area where 0:21:57.480 --> 0:22:00.439 I was isolated or secluded where I had to concerned 0:22:00.440 --> 0:22:03.439 about my safety. Yeah, so I was blessed in that 0:22:03.560 --> 0:22:06.440 aspect that didn't happen to me. But as far as 0:22:06.520 --> 0:22:09.800 quote unquote hitting on me, oh heck, yeah, that was 0:22:09.840 --> 0:22:17.800 all the time and perverse conversations or just inappropriate language. Yeah, yeah, 0:22:17.880 --> 0:22:21.640 for sure. Are you familiar with the case of Levina Johnson. 0:22:24.760 --> 0:22:30.040 Vina Johnson, she's a black woman who was found murdered 0:22:30.119 --> 0:22:32.840 in two thousand and five. She was found murdered in 0:22:32.960 --> 0:22:38.560 a tent that was owned by UM was a k 0:22:40.200 --> 0:22:45.560 KBR you know, Ronnie Route who at the time it 0:22:45.640 --> 0:22:47.879 was a it was a time, Yeah, it was at 0:22:47.880 --> 0:22:54.159 the time. It was a subsidiary of had A buried. Yeah, 0:22:54.400 --> 0:23:03.200 so she her death was rude a suicide. But checked 0:23:03.200 --> 0:23:09.960 this out. The autopsy found that she First of all, 0:23:10.000 --> 0:23:12.960 they said that she committed suicide with the with the 0:23:13.160 --> 0:23:21.600 M sixteen rifle. She's a right handed woman. The bullet 0:23:21.600 --> 0:23:25.880 wound was on the left side of her head. She's 0:23:25.880 --> 0:23:28.840 a right handed woman. The bullet wounds on the left 0:23:28.880 --> 0:23:31.520 side of her head. And they said she killed herself 0:23:31.560 --> 0:23:35.080 for the rifle. They found lacerations on a you know, 0:23:35.119 --> 0:23:37.920 on a private areas. They found on her face, they 0:23:37.960 --> 0:23:42.399 found they somebody put some type of flammable liquid on 0:23:42.440 --> 0:23:46.359 her body. They burned her. Uh, they poured died on 0:23:46.520 --> 0:23:50.119 her vagina. Uh. They did a bad They did a 0:23:50.200 --> 0:23:54.399 real bad and they told the parents. They told the 0:23:54.480 --> 0:23:58.960 family that it was suicide. And as far as I know, 0:23:59.800 --> 0:24:05.160 the families still don't have justice. And uh and then 0:24:05.280 --> 0:24:10.920 recently here uh fort Hood. Uh, they had the case 0:24:10.960 --> 0:24:16.360 of Vanessa Yea who you know, was murdered and they 0:24:16.400 --> 0:24:22.600 tried they she was brutally murdered, decapitated, and they uh 0:24:22.840 --> 0:24:28.879 just totally ignored the evidence. And that was people are 0:24:28.920 --> 0:24:32.359 saying like this, God, right here is a suspect held, 0:24:32.359 --> 0:24:35.040 you should talk to him, and they just totally ignored it. 0:24:35.040 --> 0:24:40.080 It's like and I and and that's just that's just 0:24:40.280 --> 0:24:43.880 uh two cases. But I see it's very very rare. 0:24:43.960 --> 0:24:47.359 But I remember reading something where it said that it 0:24:47.440 --> 0:24:52.280 was like out of the like it was like ninety 0:24:53.280 --> 0:24:59.320 nine six women who was murdered who died like in 0:24:59.320 --> 0:25:06.680 in in in Iraq, uh and Afghanistan. It was like, uh, 0:25:06.800 --> 0:25:09.280 thirty six of those women something around that number, like 0:25:09.320 --> 0:25:18.840 about thirty six of those women were uh, we're murdered. Uh, 0:25:19.160 --> 0:25:25.080 we're murdered outside of combat, so it was unco it 0:25:25.160 --> 0:25:32.240 was non combat related. So and almost all of them 0:25:32.359 --> 0:25:39.119 were raped. There was some type of rape involved. You know, America, 0:25:39.160 --> 0:25:43.320 I'll say America has a major problem with rape. I 0:25:43.359 --> 0:25:46.520 mean day one, we could go all the way back 0:25:46.560 --> 0:25:51.359 to slavery, but even today, people get excited when certain 0:25:51.359 --> 0:25:54.800 people get convicted or accused of rape or whatever. They 0:25:54.800 --> 0:25:58.000 want to bring them down or whatever. But I would 0:25:58.040 --> 0:26:01.040 dare say that this country really don't care about victims 0:26:01.040 --> 0:26:05.880