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Speaker 1: The Fresh Show is on.

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Speaker 2: It's stay or go all right, Hannah is here, by

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Speaker 2: the way, you can always get us your story dm

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Speaker 2: us and all the socials, Fread Show Radio, d Friend Show,

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Speaker 2: TikTok and Fredshow Radio dot com.

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Speaker 1: Hannah, Good morning, Good morning, Hi Hannah.

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Speaker 3: So you have this boyfriend a year and a half,

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Speaker 3: it says, and y'all are fighting, and so you thought, well,

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Speaker 3: I'm gonna call the Fred Show and these guys will

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Speaker 3: solve the problem for me. So yeah, sure, we'll brainstorm altogether.

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Speaker 3: Now what's going on? What are you fighting about with

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Speaker 3: this man?

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Speaker 4: Well, like, we usually have a really good relationship, but

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Speaker 4: I really just want some advice on like phone.

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Speaker 3: Etiquette, phone etiquette. Okay, what's this guy doing with his phone?

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Speaker 4: So Leanda and I were sitting on the couch and

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Speaker 4: he just started laughing at his phone. So I asked

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Speaker 4: him what's funny and he told me, oh, it's nothing.

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Speaker 4: It's just our boy chat, our boys group chat. And

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Speaker 4: I asked like, oh, well, can I see it? Like

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Speaker 4: I you know, I just want to understand like what

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Speaker 4: the joke is, because you're you seem to be having

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Speaker 4: a really good time, and he pulled it away and

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Speaker 4: was like, oh, it's private.

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Speaker 3: Okay, Well, I mean all right, so you he's over

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Speaker 3: there first of all. I mean, I guess you could

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Speaker 3: argue that it's rude if he's just sitting there with

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Speaker 3: you and then he's on his phone and obsessed with that,

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Speaker 3: But I mean, okay, it happens. I mean, do you

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Speaker 3: guys live together or or just spend a lot of

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Speaker 3: time together.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, we lived together. I don't know. I just felt like,

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Speaker 4: there's nothing on my phone I wouldn't share.

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Speaker 1: So the guy's minding his own business.

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Speaker 3: He's in the boys chat or whatever, the guy's chat,

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Speaker 3: and he doesn't really want to show it to you now,

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Speaker 3: And you're saying that he could see the girls chat,

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Speaker 3: because I mean, the group chat is a thing he could.

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Speaker 3: You wouldn't mind if he went into your phone and

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Speaker 3: read through that, scrolled through all the things that you've

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Speaker 3: said to them. No, really, no, huh. You know how

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Speaker 3: I feel about this. So, guys, everybody has a right

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Speaker 3: to privacy. Everybody has a right to an outlet. And

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Speaker 3: I don't think that everything is I'm looking at you,

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Speaker 3: pump now. I don't think that everything has to be

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Speaker 3: seen by everybody all the time. Like, I think he

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Speaker 3: has a right to have a communication with his friends

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Speaker 3: that he knows is a safe place that he doesn't

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Speaker 3: have to get, you know, spell checked and content approved.

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Speaker 3: And I think everyone's entitled to that. And I'm sorry,

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Speaker 3: but if someone tells you that they don't have anything

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Speaker 3: like that, I don't believe them. I believe they have

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Speaker 3: a fake email or you know, an email somewhere you

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Speaker 3: don't know about, or something not because that there's necessarily

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Speaker 3: anything nefarious going on. But I think it's just human.

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Speaker 3: It's human for people to have their own stuff. I mean,

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Speaker 3: how would you feel if he kind of just lingered

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Speaker 3: at girls' night when all you guys are sitting there

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Speaker 3: doing whatever you guys do, talking about you know whatever.

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Speaker 3: Would you want him just sitting there 'reing an icy

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Speaker 3: just listening to that. I mean no, because I would

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Speaker 3: imagine I'm going to answer it for you. I would

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Speaker 3: guess know, because you want a place where you can

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Speaker 3: go and not that you're there trashing him or anybody else.

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Speaker 3: But don't you want to feel like you can communicate

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Speaker 3: freely without being judged?

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Speaker 4: Yeah, I guess I just worry that like it's about

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Speaker 4: me or like something that is kind of bad, but

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Speaker 4: that is assuming the worst.

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Speaker 3: If he's talking negatively about you to his friends, you

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Speaker 3: got bigger problems than the group chat in my opinion.

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Speaker 3: So if you have no reason to believe that he

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Speaker 3: would say anything bad about you, then I don't. I

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Speaker 3: don't know why you bother yourself with it, like let

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Speaker 3: him have it right, right?

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Speaker 5: But yeah, well see.

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Speaker 3: Let me let me see, by the way, what everybody

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Speaker 3: has to say. Eight five, five, five nine one one

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Speaker 3: oh three five. Do you think that if you're in

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Speaker 3: a relationship, that you should have access to your partner's

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Speaker 3: group chat? Now?

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Speaker 1: I don't.

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Speaker 3: We don't saying I don't really have one. There's there's

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Speaker 3: not one chat in my phone. I mean there are

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Speaker 3: situational group chats where like three or four of us

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Speaker 3: are going out, so we're all on a message thing

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Speaker 3: or whatever, or like you know, if there's a bachelor

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Speaker 3: party or something, everyone's on the on a group chat.

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Speaker 3: But like I wouldn't say there's one consistent group chat.

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Speaker 3: But I have tech messages among friends that are just

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Speaker 3: stupid that I wouldn't want anyone to see because I

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Speaker 3: wouldn't want to be judged by that stupidity, but I don't.

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Speaker 3: I don't necessarily think that my phone should be a

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Speaker 3: fair game, not because I'm doing anything I shouldn't be doing,

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Speaker 3: but because it's kind of like that's mine, Like it's

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Speaker 3: smile and it's like it's a little bit of your

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Speaker 3: phone's kind of an insight into what's going on in

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Speaker 3: your brain. The same way that I wouldn't want people

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Speaker 3: to see my searches, not because they're all porn, they're

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Speaker 3: not all sexual, but like I don't know, if I

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Speaker 3: have a question in my brain about anything, I'll google

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Speaker 3: it because I want the answer, and I don't necessarily

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Speaker 3: think the same way that if you take an inventory

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Speaker 3: of everything we talk about on this show every day,

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Speaker 3: it looks totally random. I think if you looked at

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Speaker 3: everything I searched in a given day, it looked totally random.

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Speaker 3: I mean, yesterday it was about horses, right, you know,

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Speaker 3: the gestation period of horses and why it took a

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Speaker 3: year for this horse to be born and why the

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Speaker 3: mom doesn't like it, among other things.

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Speaker 1: But that's you might look at that and go, what

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Speaker 1: the hell are you doing?

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Speaker 3: So don't I don't know, Hannah, I mean, would you

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Speaker 3: want your for to go through every inch of your phone.

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Speaker 4: I just feel like, like you said, it's like someone's brain.

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Speaker 4: So if I can't know what's happening in his brain

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Speaker 4: or in his phone, like I steel.

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Speaker 1: A distance, but maybe you don't want to know, you

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Speaker 1: know what I mean?

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Speaker 3: Like, I don't think everybody wants to know what's happening

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Speaker 3: inside of me, as long as I'm being faithful and

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Speaker 3: honest and a good human being to you, Like, let

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Speaker 3: me have my my little space. Like if the guy

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Speaker 3: had a diary, would you want to read it? I

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Speaker 3: mean you woul might want to, but would you think

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Speaker 3: you have a right to read it? Because I don't

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Speaker 3: necessarily think this is all that different. I think friendly

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Speaker 3: communication is privileged.

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Speaker 4: Y maybe I don't know.

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Speaker 3: All right, Well, let me take some phone calls on

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Speaker 3: this hand, and I want to hear what Paulina has

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Speaker 3: to say because I know she disagrees with me, and uh,

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Speaker 3: and we'll go from there. But good luck, Hannah, thanks

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Speaker 3: for calling.

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Speaker 4: Thank you.

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Speaker 3: I eight five five five three five. You can call

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Speaker 3: and text this same number. Pe you go ahead. Why

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Speaker 3: do you think that you should be able to see

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Speaker 3: Hobby's group chat?

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Speaker 5: Well, here's the thing.

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Speaker 6: I feel like, if you guys know the thing, it

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Speaker 6: is like if you have nothing to hide, then like

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Speaker 6: whatever I see, I know hobbies. So if they're talking

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Speaker 6: about sports, which that's what they're talking about, or this

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Speaker 6: or that or some story something happened, like I probably

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Speaker 6: already know about it, and that's fine. I don't read

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Speaker 6: their messages because I can't dissect it. I don't understand

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Speaker 6: like sports talk and bro talk like when straight men

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Speaker 6: gets together. I don't understand sometimes and that's what I've

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Speaker 6: gotten from there. But I have been in a situation

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Speaker 6: where you know, he's slapping at his phone and I

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Speaker 6: was kind of like, what's so funny kind of thing?

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Speaker 6: And he was like, oh, just a group chat. But

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Speaker 6: I'm like, but what's so funny? And then my insecurities

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Speaker 6: kick in and I admit it, and I'm like, oh, Mary,

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Speaker 6: you're talking about like big boobs and stuff. I know

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Speaker 6: you are, like you're talking about other women, Like I

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Speaker 6: just like my mind went crazy.

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Speaker 5: Yeah, And he was like, do you want to see and.

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Speaker 6: I was like, well I did, but I was like no,

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Speaker 6: I don't, and he's like, we're talking about I don't

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Speaker 6: know something. Some comedian things something happened, I've some scandal

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Speaker 6: whatever in the sports world. I don't care, And I

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Speaker 6: was like, all right, cool, have your space, have your whatever.

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Speaker 6: The only thing is I know Freddie and I talked

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Speaker 6: about this too, like we don't have like those like

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Speaker 6: group chats, like my group chats are are truly so silly,

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Speaker 6: Like there's no scandal in the group chat, there's no

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Speaker 6: like crazy girl talk.

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Speaker 5: Like it's honestly the stupidest stuff you've ever see.

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Speaker 6: So if how he wants to see it, like if

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Speaker 6: he judges me, that's wild because he already knows I've

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Speaker 6: said most of this stuff out lout or he knows

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Speaker 6: how I think he can look through whatever he wants.

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Speaker 5: I truly don't care.

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Speaker 3: I must say something, and I want you to hear

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Speaker 3: what I'm saying because I mean it wholeheartedly, even though

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Speaker 3: it might sound a little mean.

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Speaker 1: You are well.

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Speaker 3: The first part is, I mean, you are a capable, strong, confident,

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Speaker 3: powerful woman.

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Speaker 1: Seriously, and there's no button.

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Speaker 3: When you do stuff like that, it's devaluing all of

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Speaker 3: those qualities about yourself because you're You're all it's giving

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Speaker 3: is control and insecurity. But you don't you don't need

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Speaker 3: to see that you're married to a guy who you're confident,

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Speaker 3: I believe wouldn't cheat on you.

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Speaker 1: He is upholding his values.

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Speaker 3: It's your desire to have all the information, to have control,

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Speaker 3: and I don't think, and I think what happens is

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Speaker 3: you're you're actually devaluing your own self by doing that,

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Speaker 3: because you have all these other qualities. But when it's

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Speaker 3: when it's let me see, let me see, or what

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Speaker 3: are you doing? What are you doing? You want to

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Speaker 3: see it? No, it's a game that you shouldn't play

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Speaker 3: because you don't need to play it because people are

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Speaker 3: entitled to have private communication. And if you don't trust

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Speaker 3: what he's saying, that's a completely different problem.

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Speaker 6: I agree with that, And it's weirdly not even about trust.

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Speaker 6: For I think it's a control thing. Like I have

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Speaker 6: control issues, like when we drive places, I have to

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Speaker 6: drive the vehicle.

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Speaker 5: I won't be a passenger princess.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, I have control issues.

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Speaker 3: If you and I were married, I would never let

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Speaker 3: you drive the vehicle because I've seen you drive a vehicle.

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Speaker 5: Yeah, thank you.

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Speaker 1: So my control is she would be my life and preserving.

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Speaker 6: Yes, well tell that the hobby. But I just I

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Speaker 6: can't like let him drive the car. I think it

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Speaker 6: just it could just be for me wanting to see

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Speaker 6: what they're talking about.

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Speaker 5: Well, I trust him, I believe him. I don't care.

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Speaker 5: They're talking about the stupidest stuff I've ever seen in

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Speaker 5: my life.

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Speaker 1: I don't care. Well, there you go. Well, then problem solved.

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Speaker 6: But that only happened one time, and after that I

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Speaker 6: was like, Okay, I'm not even gonna like butt in

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Speaker 6: on these random combos.

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Speaker 1: Bridget how you doing, good morning, good morning, Hey, love

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Speaker 1: you too, thanks for listening. So this is this woman.

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Speaker 3: She's upset because she feels like something's going on in

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Speaker 3: the group chat, like she's missing out, like she's not

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Speaker 3: part of something, or or maybe they're talking about her,

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Speaker 3: And so she believes that she should get to see

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Speaker 3: it of her boyfriend of a year and a half.

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Speaker 3: And I argue, no, I don't think that she should.

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Speaker 3: What do you think?

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Speaker 7: I'm actually with you on this one?

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Speaker 1: I have this one.

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Speaker 3: I got to qualify it on this one.

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Speaker 1: On this one, I say a lot of things that

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Speaker 1: make sense.

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Speaker 7: Usually i'm with ladies, but I was actually in a

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Speaker 7: marriage where the expectation was that I show my phone.

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Speaker 7: I'm no longer in that marriage and in a new

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Speaker 7: relationship where there is absolutely no expectation because we trust

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Speaker 7: each other. And I'm not blaming the caller for, you know,

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Speaker 7: having concerns, but if there's concerns, there's a deeper issue there,

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Speaker 7: Like I have nothing to hide, and I would happily

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Speaker 7: show my partner on the phone at any time, but

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Speaker 7: there's no need or expectation for me to do so.

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Speaker 1: I'll be honest with you.

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Speaker 3: If I were in a relationship, I don't necessarily think

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Speaker 3: every community I have with my closest friends would make

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Speaker 3: would make my partner feel good because I'm allowed to

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Speaker 3: have thoughts that about other people or other things. I mean,

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Speaker 3: I'm not on there saying like I'm with an awful

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Speaker 3: human being or something. But like, let's say I get

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Speaker 3: in a fight with my sgnificant other, or let's say

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Speaker 3: my friend is having a tough time in his marriage

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Speaker 3: or something and he wants to he has every right

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Speaker 3: to have an outlet and to communicate those things. And

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Speaker 3: being as though he trusts me and I trust him, well,

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Speaker 3: that's that's a lock box, right, Like it's never getting anywhere.

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Speaker 1: But I agree, and if you were agree his.

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Speaker 3: Wife or somebody. I'm making this up because it's not happening.

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Speaker 3: But if if his girlfriend or wife or somewhere to

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Speaker 3: read this communication that's between the two of us, it

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Speaker 3: could cause a lot of problems because it's what's going

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Speaker 3: on in his head that he probably wouldn't say to her.

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Speaker 3: But maybe saying it to me and working it out

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Speaker 3: before he says it to her is actually to her benefit.

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Speaker 7: Right right, I agree? I agree, But that that goes

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Speaker 7: back to the whole problem of her concern that there's

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Speaker 7: something there, and if there is, that's a deeper issue

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Speaker 7: that they need to talk about.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, I agree with that. Bridget Thank you so much

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Speaker 3: for calling him for listening. Have a good day.

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Speaker 7: Thank you.

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Speaker 3: You gotta love the stuff go with with his phone.

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Speaker 5: Doing better. I'm doing better, slowly, but surely therapy is helping.

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Speaker 5: This conversation is helping.

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Speaker 6: I don't go through it like that freely, because again,

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Speaker 6: I don't want him to think that exactly about me,

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Speaker 6: like this little insecure woman that I'm married to. I

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Speaker 6: don't want my husband to think of me like that.

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Speaker 6: It's just very tempting when it's sitting there and I'm like,

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Speaker 6: what are the boys up to today. What are y'all

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Speaker 6: talking about?

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Speaker 1: Why are you so quiet? Kiky? I figured you have

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Speaker 1: something to say about this.

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Speaker 8: Well, group chats don't really bother me because that's everybody

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Speaker 8: in there, just yeah, and I don't care about that.

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Speaker 8: I want to know why you text a piece of

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Speaker 8: hood like stuff like that, Like I'm looking who is

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Speaker 8: actually Buffalo woild Wings in your phone?

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Speaker 1: Because you know, yes, I text Pizza Hut all the time.

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Speaker 5: That's a green flag, right like Pizza Hut.

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Speaker 3: And I are constantly Actually it's more like Jet's pizza.

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Speaker 3: And you can text them, by the way, which is funny.

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Speaker 3: That's just an option to text them to deliver your pizza. Yeah,

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Speaker 3: so if you see Jet's pizza in someone's phone book,

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Speaker 3: that's real.

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Speaker 8: See, I'm checking numbers and stuff like that. And then

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Speaker 8: I think Hannah's issue is girl, you never show it

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Speaker 8: in the moment you know he's over thereikikiki ha ha ha.

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Speaker 8: I'm going to be like, oh, I know what I'm

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Speaker 8: doing later. You know I would never do it. Wow,

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Speaker 8: you know I would never be like what do you know?

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Speaker 3: Are you guys snooping? Like it's never It's not good

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Speaker 3: for so many reasons. Hey Selena, good morning, how you doing.

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Speaker 1: Good morning? What did you want to say?

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Speaker 9: I just wanted to say that she really needs to

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Speaker 9: stop being so insecure, and not only should she respect

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Speaker 9: his privacy, but also the privacy of his friends. And

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Speaker 9: if you feel that you can't trust him because he's

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Speaker 9: laughing with his friends, and I think you're in the

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Speaker 9: wrong relationship, honey.

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Speaker 3: Because yeah, Selena, I'll tell you what is going on

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Speaker 3: in my messages. It's me, you know, spending all day

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Speaker 3: looking up content for the show, and I stumbled across

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Speaker 3: something that's funny, and I sent it to my friend

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Speaker 3: and some of it is just ridiculous, Like some of

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Speaker 3: it is so ridiculous, stupid, immature, whatever.

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Speaker 1: I wouldn't want to be judged on that.

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Speaker 3: But like my friend knows that that's you know, if

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Speaker 3: I see something it's like ha ha funny to that

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Speaker 3: person and I send it to them. But I wouldn't

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Speaker 3: want to be judged on what I'm sending to my

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Speaker 3: friends or or every thought I have in my brain

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Speaker 3: or every dumb inside joke that we have. It doesn't

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Speaker 3: mean that I'm sleeping with ten other women, you know.

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Speaker 3: But I also don't want to have to explain the context.

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Speaker 3: Sometimes I shouldn't have to.

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Speaker 9: Well, here's another thing. What if one of his friends

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Speaker 9: is sharing something like that and she could be friends

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Speaker 9: with one of the friend's girlfriends or something.

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Speaker 3: And that's how you get your group girl, fend, that's

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Speaker 3: how you get your set kicked out.

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Speaker 1: You know.

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Speaker 3: It's like the rules of flight club. You know what

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Speaker 3: I mean. Thank you still have a good day. You're

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Speaker 3: welcome falling across your arms.

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Speaker 6: What So I just had a thought because this actually

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Speaker 6: did happen to me, But what is what do you

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Speaker 6: do right? When my husband asks me when I'm doing

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Speaker 6: the keky cock CODs myself and I'm laughing.

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Speaker 1: Because while you going kek co.

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Speaker 6: Ha, that one like this group and this room in

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Speaker 6: the Freend show, we have a group chat, and that's true,

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Speaker 6: we do.

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Speaker 5: It's gone off a couple of times, and I've actually laughed.

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Speaker 6: I've giggled, and he's got He's asked me, oh, like,

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Speaker 6: what's so funny kind of things?

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Speaker 5: I'm looking at my phone, I'm laughing.

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Speaker 6: I have no issue straight up telling him like what

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Speaker 6: is making me laugh? And there's actually a story to it,

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Speaker 6: So I'll big well, this happened on the show today,

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Speaker 6: or this happened behind the scenes, and this is why

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Speaker 6: we're laughing about it. So like, why can't he do

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Speaker 6: that for me? Now that I'm thinking about it, Why

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Speaker 6: is it that like, oh, don't worry about him sent

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Speaker 6: secularity like.

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Speaker 5: But with him, he asked that same question, and I

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Speaker 5: have no problem telling him.

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Speaker 1: I mean, because it's funny if I would start a fight.

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Speaker 3: If I'm sitting on the couch next to you and

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Speaker 3: I'm laughing hysterically at something and We're just sitting there

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Speaker 3: in quiet and I'm just I'm staring at my phone

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Speaker 3: and laughing hysterically, I mean, that would be rude not

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Speaker 3: to include someone and in you know, whatever's making you

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Speaker 3: happy in that moment.

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Speaker 1: That would be strange.

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Speaker 3: Like, but I'm you know, if I'm just sitting there

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Speaker 3: texting and we're just mine on our own business or whatever,

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Speaker 3: I don't think I should have to show you every

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Speaker 3: action I'm making on my phone, not at all, you

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Speaker 3: know what I mean. But like if I laugh out

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Speaker 3: loud and something, I mean, I might you an explanation

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Speaker 3: of some kind, but I'm not going to hand the

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Speaker 3: thing over for you to do.

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Speaker 1: A comp audit.

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Speaker 6: No, just let me know the story, just just like

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Speaker 6: fill me and I want to laugh with you too.

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Speaker 5: If it's that.

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Speaker 1: Funny, I I get, yeah, well, what's wrong with that?

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Speaker 5: It's friendly conversations.

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Speaker 3: That's different than being like hey, right, let me give.

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Speaker 1: Me hey Carla, Hey, hey Carla.

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Speaker 3: So just to recap here, this woman's upset because she

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Speaker 3: feels like her boyfriend's in this group chat with his

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Speaker 3: buddies and she wants to know what's going on in there.

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Speaker 3: And she feels kind of like she has a right

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Speaker 3: to know, and you know, I argue that she doesn't.

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Speaker 7: Yeah, I think.

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Speaker 10: I mean, okay, so how many times have you said

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Speaker 10: something to your partner and then they don't get it

389
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Speaker 10: and they're like that, or they'll give you a logical explanation.

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Speaker 10: Your group chat will give you all the delulute stuff

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Speaker 10: that you want to listen to. Also, I am in

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Speaker 10: a group chat that's an all male group chat except

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Speaker 10: for me, and my husband's also in it, so I

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Speaker 10: get an insight into all the crazy stuff that they think.

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Speaker 10: And let me tell you, I want to know. They

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00:16:01,120 --> 00:16:05,480
Speaker 10: say such wild, crazy things. It's so unhinged and I

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Speaker 10: feel privileged that I get to be in it. So

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Speaker 10: I have to remember sometimes like, oh snap, I am

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Speaker 10: part of the group, I'm part of the boys. I

400
00:16:11,440 --> 00:16:13,160
Speaker 10: have to be cool. I can't get mad about this.

401
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Speaker 10: So sometimes it's better that you don't know.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, I think there's probably stuff going on on both sides.

403
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Speaker 1: I just don't I don't need to be involved with.

404
00:16:21,520 --> 00:16:24,960
Speaker 3: I don't need to know what's going on, you know,

405
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Speaker 3: I don't really no, I know, That's what I mean though, Like,

406
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Speaker 3: and it wouldn't be there'd be no context, and it

407
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Speaker 3: might be funny for the girls, but it's not funny

408
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Speaker 3: to me. And I don't know, So I could just leve.

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Speaker 3: I don't need to see that. Thank you, Carl, I

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Speaker 3: have a good day.

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Speaker 10: Thank you.

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Speaker 3: Y'all want to talk about girl stuff, I don't have

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Speaker 3: anything to contribute to that. I don't need to know.

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Speaker 3: There's probably a lot of information there. I don't need

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Speaker 3: to know. I mean, think about I don't know the

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Speaker 3: last two weeks of your girl group chats. Would you

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Speaker 3: really want a guy to read all that? Would your

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Speaker 3: friends want a guy to read all that?

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Speaker 6: No?

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Speaker 1: Anyway, So there you go. Problem solve.

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Speaker 5: Girl, Save the Snooper for later.

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Speaker 3: I'd still like to know why you're going to do it,

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00:17:03,120 --> 00:17:07,359
Speaker 3: Like Big Sam is always sexting Pizza Hut though about

424
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Speaker 3: breadsticks and dipping sauces and things that I lets you know.

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Speaker 3: The entertainer reports and show me his kiky next