1 00:00:05,000 --> 00:00:10,120 Speaker 1: Welcome to the ten Minute Storyteller. That's me Bill Simpson, 2 00:00:10,360 --> 00:00:15,080 Speaker 1: your host, narrator, and author. We hear at the ten 3 00:00:15,120 --> 00:00:19,759 Speaker 1: minute Storyteller endeavor to entertain you with tall tales or 4 00:00:19,800 --> 00:00:24,919 Speaker 1: rendered swiftly and with the utmost empathy. We pledge to 5 00:00:25,040 --> 00:00:29,560 Speaker 1: pack as much entertainment, emotion, and exploration into the human 6 00:00:29,600 --> 00:00:37,720 Speaker 1: condition as ten minutes will permit many novels on steroids. 7 00:00:40,200 --> 00:00:45,159 Speaker 1: This week we meet Tad. After years of talk therapy, 8 00:00:45,520 --> 00:00:50,159 Speaker 1: Tad finally has a breakthrough. He finally spits out the truth, 9 00:00:50,840 --> 00:00:56,880 Speaker 1: finally utters the unutterable. But is his shrink listening or 10 00:00:56,960 --> 00:01:01,240 Speaker 1: has his shrink checked out of the game, consumed as 11 00:01:01,320 --> 00:01:05,600 Speaker 1: he is by his own angsts and anxieties, his own 12 00:01:05,720 --> 00:01:13,360 Speaker 1: dreams and desires. Shrunk asks those old Socratic questions, Do 13 00:01:13,560 --> 00:01:17,559 Speaker 1: our fellow humans hear a word we say? Or does 14 00:01:17,640 --> 00:01:23,319 Speaker 1: all the gibberish just fall on deaf ears? Was it me? 15 00:01:23,440 --> 00:01:28,200 Speaker 1: Wonders a giant cosmic joke to allow humans to communicate 16 00:01:28,480 --> 00:01:37,640 Speaker 1: with all these silly little utterances that spill from our lips. Shrunk. 17 00:01:40,000 --> 00:01:44,440 Speaker 1: Near the middle of his one hundred and thirty seventh session, 18 00:01:45,160 --> 00:01:50,120 Speaker 1: Tad finally says something true for the first one hundred 19 00:01:50,200 --> 00:01:55,080 Speaker 1: and thirty six sessions. He lied through his teeth, blamed 20 00:01:55,280 --> 00:01:59,440 Speaker 1: his insecurities and angst on his mother and father, on 21 00:01:59,600 --> 00:02:03,200 Speaker 1: teacher and bosses, on his wife and his in laws. 22 00:02:03,520 --> 00:02:07,200 Speaker 1: He verbally battered and belittled them all in an effort 23 00:02:07,320 --> 00:02:12,520 Speaker 1: to dye me the truth. Almost two and a half 24 00:02:12,720 --> 00:02:17,680 Speaker 1: years now, in the chair, one sometimes two sessions a week, 25 00:02:18,400 --> 00:02:21,920 Speaker 1: usually after work, when he should have been attending his 26 00:02:22,080 --> 00:02:27,040 Speaker 1: son's soccer game or his daughter's basketball game, maybe helping 27 00:02:27,080 --> 00:02:30,160 Speaker 1: his wife with the shopping and the cleaning. But no, 28 00:02:30,520 --> 00:02:33,280 Speaker 1: not Tad. He's too caught up in his own head, 29 00:02:33,639 --> 00:02:40,120 Speaker 1: his own twisted thoughts, the id, the ego, and the superego, 30 00:02:40,720 --> 00:02:46,359 Speaker 1: dreams and reality. It's the same dream, doc, every night, 31 00:02:46,400 --> 00:02:49,760 Speaker 1: the same dream, three and four times a night, always 32 00:02:49,800 --> 00:02:56,280 Speaker 1: the same. It never varies for years, decades. Hmmm, says 33 00:02:56,320 --> 00:03:01,240 Speaker 1: the shrink, distracted, as always tell me about this dream. 34 00:03:01,960 --> 00:03:05,800 Speaker 1: The shrink has been sitting in this room for twenty 35 00:03:05,880 --> 00:03:11,320 Speaker 1: three years, listening to people talk about their troubles. He 36 00:03:11,400 --> 00:03:15,839 Speaker 1: makes large amounts of money listening to people talk about themselves. 37 00:03:16,800 --> 00:03:20,360 Speaker 1: In the early days, those years of training fresh in 38 00:03:20,480 --> 00:03:24,520 Speaker 1: his head, he used to listen intently and try his 39 00:03:24,760 --> 00:03:30,320 Speaker 1: darnedest to make sense of their inner turmoils and psychological demons. 40 00:03:30,360 --> 00:03:34,640 Speaker 1: But right around year seven he realized his patience, who 41 00:03:34,720 --> 00:03:39,920 Speaker 1: he secretly refers to as clients, really didn't want his opinion. 42 00:03:40,440 --> 00:03:45,440 Speaker 1: They just wanted him to listen, not really even him anyone. 43 00:03:45,680 --> 00:03:49,960 Speaker 1: They wanted one hour, well actually fifty five minutes to 44 00:03:50,080 --> 00:03:53,120 Speaker 1: sit there or lie there and bitch and moan and 45 00:03:53,200 --> 00:04:00,320 Speaker 1: whine and complain without anyone interrupting. They wanted to talk, talk, talk, talk, 46 00:04:00,360 --> 00:04:03,120 Speaker 1: talk about themselves, God damn it, and they were willing 47 00:04:03,160 --> 00:04:08,680 Speaker 1: to pay serious dough for the privilege. So now, for 48 00:04:08,760 --> 00:04:13,480 Speaker 1: the past sixteen years, doctor Smidge has mostly sat in 49 00:04:13,480 --> 00:04:17,800 Speaker 1: his comfy leather swivel chair, well oiled so as not 50 00:04:17,920 --> 00:04:23,039 Speaker 1: to squeak, and listens, well, half listens, or maybe a 51 00:04:23,040 --> 00:04:27,080 Speaker 1: little less than half. Mostly now he thinks about his 52 00:04:27,120 --> 00:04:31,320 Speaker 1: own problems and his own desires. Like that college girl 53 00:04:31,360 --> 00:04:35,240 Speaker 1: who started coming in a few months ago. Oh, Christ, 54 00:04:35,320 --> 00:04:37,320 Speaker 1: how he would like to have a go at her. 55 00:04:38,120 --> 00:04:43,240 Speaker 1: But well, he's been that route. The doctor patient relationship. 56 00:04:43,560 --> 00:04:47,640 Speaker 1: What a fucking mess, and for what a guilty roll 57 00:04:47,800 --> 00:04:51,760 Speaker 1: in the hay in some overpriced midtown hotel. The divorce 58 00:04:51,880 --> 00:04:55,799 Speaker 1: cost him a fortune, and now his daughter a bevy 59 00:04:55,839 --> 00:04:58,920 Speaker 1: of problems, all of them conjured up in her head. 60 00:04:59,279 --> 00:05:03,760 Speaker 1: A thousand times he's told her chest relax, kid, enjoy life. 61 00:05:04,040 --> 00:05:09,360 Speaker 1: Don't take it so damn seriously. It involves my brother, 62 00:05:09,760 --> 00:05:13,239 Speaker 1: says Tad. The dream my brother's in it every time. 63 00:05:13,440 --> 00:05:16,320 Speaker 1: It starts out with us running around the house, playing, 64 00:05:16,480 --> 00:05:22,520 Speaker 1: having fun, enjoying each other. The last couple years, since 65 00:05:22,560 --> 00:05:29,320 Speaker 1: the isolation and uncertainty of COVID drove everyone insane, Smidge 66 00:05:29,360 --> 00:05:34,000 Speaker 1: has been inundated with business. He must get fifty calls 67 00:05:34,040 --> 00:05:38,520 Speaker 1: a day from people desperate for his help. Before COVID, 68 00:05:38,720 --> 00:05:42,320 Speaker 1: he was charging one hundred and thirty dollars per session. 69 00:05:43,160 --> 00:05:47,280 Speaker 1: That jumped to one hundred and seventy five dollars supply 70 00:05:47,360 --> 00:05:50,839 Speaker 1: and demand. Now he's up to two hundred and ten dollars. 71 00:05:51,040 --> 00:05:55,599 Speaker 1: And still they keep calling men, women, kids, college kids, 72 00:05:56,160 --> 00:06:00,400 Speaker 1: high school kids out the wazoo, even middle school kids, 73 00:06:00,640 --> 00:06:04,520 Speaker 1: an age group hete never treated before. Now they're coming 74 00:06:04,560 --> 00:06:08,880 Speaker 1: in and telling him they want to kill themselves. He 75 00:06:08,920 --> 00:06:13,240 Speaker 1: bought a bigger house, bought a s class Benz that 76 00:06:13,360 --> 00:06:16,880 Speaker 1: costs more than the first house. He and his first 77 00:06:16,880 --> 00:06:22,080 Speaker 1: wife bought twenty five years ago. For his fiftieth birthday, 78 00:06:22,279 --> 00:06:25,120 Speaker 1: he bought himself a week at the Ritz in Paris. 79 00:06:26,200 --> 00:06:29,640 Speaker 1: Didn't take his second wife, told her he was going 80 00:06:29,720 --> 00:06:33,160 Speaker 1: on a hiking trip with his buddies through the Swiss Alps. 81 00:06:34,279 --> 00:06:38,000 Speaker 1: Took his mistress to the Ritz, remembering that one night 82 00:06:38,560 --> 00:06:42,640 Speaker 1: when they were both high on coke and screwing like teenagers. 83 00:06:43,120 --> 00:06:47,880 Speaker 1: Smidge lets out a little moan of delight, but he 84 00:06:47,960 --> 00:06:52,799 Speaker 1: quickly covers the moan with a subtle throat clearing and says, hmm, yes, 85 00:06:53,320 --> 00:06:59,039 Speaker 1: I see, then continues tad. Then the fun ends, and 86 00:06:59,080 --> 00:07:01,640 Speaker 1: he snaps his finger just like that, just ends. And 87 00:07:01,680 --> 00:07:04,000 Speaker 1: no matter how many times I have the dream, I 88 00:07:04,120 --> 00:07:07,400 Speaker 1: never know why the fun ends, but it does. And 89 00:07:07,440 --> 00:07:13,600 Speaker 1: my brother's angry. He's really really angry. Smidge, back from 90 00:07:13,640 --> 00:07:18,280 Speaker 1: his Parisian reverie, nods and takes a quick look at 91 00:07:18,280 --> 00:07:23,600 Speaker 1: the strategically placed clock just over the patience the clients 92 00:07:24,000 --> 00:07:29,000 Speaker 1: left shoulder, six point thirty nine, sixteen minutes to go. 93 00:07:29,440 --> 00:07:32,680 Speaker 1: Smidge tells himself to focus, to pay attention to this 94 00:07:32,720 --> 00:07:37,600 Speaker 1: guy's problems. His ego reminds him this guy is paying 95 00:07:37,800 --> 00:07:41,560 Speaker 1: good money, good money to sit here, this evening, and 96 00:07:41,600 --> 00:07:45,360 Speaker 1: the least the shrink can do is pay attention this 97 00:07:45,680 --> 00:07:49,200 Speaker 1: even while his ID travels back to the Ritz while 98 00:07:49,240 --> 00:07:53,280 Speaker 1: wondering how scrumptious that co ed would look lying here, 99 00:07:53,720 --> 00:07:58,040 Speaker 1: bare ass naked on his couch, all while his super 100 00:07:58,160 --> 00:08:02,680 Speaker 1: ego tries to balance his moral obligations where his primeval 101 00:08:02,840 --> 00:08:08,080 Speaker 1: needs and desires. And that's that's when his patient is 102 00:08:08,320 --> 00:08:11,720 Speaker 1: client says in the dream. In the dream, my brother 103 00:08:11,760 --> 00:08:14,760 Speaker 1: gets angry. My brother gets really angry, gets crazy, and 104 00:08:14,840 --> 00:08:17,880 Speaker 1: like a second later, I'm flat out on the floor 105 00:08:18,080 --> 00:08:20,720 Speaker 1: and he's on top of me. And he has a pillow, 106 00:08:21,680 --> 00:08:23,960 Speaker 1: a pillow from the sofa, not a pillow like you 107 00:08:24,040 --> 00:08:29,520 Speaker 1: sleep with, but this embroidered pillow roses, I think embroidered 108 00:08:29,720 --> 00:08:33,040 Speaker 1: red roses. And he's pressing the pillow into my face, 109 00:08:33,280 --> 00:08:36,480 Speaker 1: really grinding it in and holding it there and pushing 110 00:08:36,520 --> 00:08:39,320 Speaker 1: and pushing. I can't breathe can't breathe can't breathe can't 111 00:08:39,320 --> 00:08:42,679 Speaker 1: make a sound. Man, I can't move. All his weight 112 00:08:42,800 --> 00:08:45,840 Speaker 1: is on top of me, holding me down, me kicking 113 00:08:45,880 --> 00:08:49,360 Speaker 1: my legs, but the pillow pushing hard against my face. 114 00:08:49,400 --> 00:08:55,400 Speaker 1: I can't breathe can't breathe until I pass out. The 115 00:08:55,520 --> 00:09:01,240 Speaker 1: room falls quiet until the faint sound of seconds ticking 116 00:09:01,280 --> 00:09:04,559 Speaker 1: off the little clock on the shelf over the patient's 117 00:09:05,080 --> 00:09:10,400 Speaker 1: the clients left shoulder shatters the silence, and then a 118 00:09:10,440 --> 00:09:15,200 Speaker 1: few seconds later, Smidge, out of character, says, who that's 119 00:09:15,240 --> 00:09:19,240 Speaker 1: some dream, dude. But but that's the thing, Doc, what's 120 00:09:19,280 --> 00:09:22,800 Speaker 1: the thing? It's not a dream? I mean, I mean, 121 00:09:22,840 --> 00:09:25,560 Speaker 1: it is a dream, a dream I have several times 122 00:09:25,600 --> 00:09:29,800 Speaker 1: every night, and I've had for twenty years. But it's 123 00:09:29,840 --> 00:09:32,800 Speaker 1: more than a dream. It's what. It's what really happened. 124 00:09:33,120 --> 00:09:36,800 Speaker 2: It's it's it's fucking it's fucking a dude, it's reality. 125 00:09:36,960 --> 00:09:40,920 Speaker 2: It's my reality. My brother tried to suffocate me, tried 126 00:09:40,920 --> 00:09:45,360 Speaker 2: to kill me. A whole canaan able thing. I passed out. 127 00:09:45,760 --> 00:09:49,240 Speaker 1: I'm only here telling you about it today because my 128 00:09:49,360 --> 00:09:53,400 Speaker 1: old man heard the scuffle while doing the dinner dishes, 129 00:09:53,760 --> 00:09:56,679 Speaker 1: raced into the living room, saw what was happening, and 130 00:09:56,880 --> 00:09:59,880 Speaker 1: slammed my brother over the head with a cast iron 131 00:10:00,120 --> 00:10:03,160 Speaker 1: skillet to get the crazy son of a bitch off me. 132 00:10:04,400 --> 00:10:07,160 Speaker 1: That's what happened, Doc, That's the way it went down. 133 00:10:07,480 --> 00:10:11,720 Speaker 1: And I've been suffocating in my dreams every damn night since. 134 00:10:14,040 --> 00:10:19,680 Speaker 1: And the shrink Shrunk who earlier stopped at home depot 135 00:10:19,720 --> 00:10:24,600 Speaker 1: to buy a bottle of clog away laments. You know, 136 00:10:25,640 --> 00:10:31,079 Speaker 1: we're all just self absorbed beasts with brains too big, 137 00:10:31,320 --> 00:10:36,280 Speaker 1: eating each other alive, even willing to suffocate our own 138 00:10:36,480 --> 00:10:45,319 Speaker 1: brothers with rose covered pillows. Tad, momentarily flummixed by this observation, 139 00:10:45,760 --> 00:10:51,200 Speaker 1: finally nods in agreement. Jesus, Doc, maybe I think maybe 140 00:10:51,240 --> 00:10:56,800 Speaker 1: he got that right, rest assured Toby, I definitely got 141 00:10:56,840 --> 00:11:10,040 Speaker 1: that right. Hey, thanks for listening to this original audio 142 00:11:10,120 --> 00:11:16,000 Speaker 1: presentation of Shrunk narrated by the author. If you enjoy 143 00:11:16,080 --> 00:11:19,520 Speaker 1: today's story, please take a few seconds to rate, review, 144 00:11:19,800 --> 00:11:24,960 Speaker 1: and subscribe to this podcast, and then go to Thomas 145 00:11:25,120 --> 00:11:30,160 Speaker 1: William Simpson dot com for additional information about the author 146 00:11:30,400 --> 00:11:35,559 Speaker 1: and to view his extensive canon. The Ten Minute Storyteller 147 00:11:35,800 --> 00:11:40,480 Speaker 1: is produced by Andrew Pleglici and Josh Colodney and as 148 00:11:40,520 --> 00:11:44,400 Speaker 1: part of the Elvis Duran Podcast Network in partnership with 149 00:11:44,559 --> 00:11:50,520 Speaker 1: iHeart Productions. Until next time, this is Bill Simpson, your 150 00:11:50,840 --> 00:14:03,400 Speaker 1: ten Minute Storyteller.