Speaker 1: Episode four eighty four, Managing Financial Regrets.
Speaker 2: Welcome to the Frugal Friends podcast, where you'll learn to
Speaker 2: save money, embrace simplicity, and live your life. Here your
Speaker 2: hosts Jen and Jill.
Speaker 1: Welcome to the Frugal Friends podcast. My name is Jen,
Speaker 1: my name is Jill, and today we are talking about
Speaker 1: the feeling of the financial decisions you can't change that
Speaker 1: you've already made but are haunting you. We're talking about
Speaker 1: financial regrets.
Speaker 3: And this could include regrets both of decisions we have made,
Speaker 3: things that have happened, and then things that didn't happen
Speaker 3: that we wished had happened.
Speaker 1: Or happened to us that we couldn't control. Even then,
Speaker 1: sometimes there can be regret of the way you handle it.
Speaker 1: And I have a lot of feelings about this topic,
Speaker 1: and so Jill, I'm glad you proposed it.
Speaker 3: I'm surprised we haven't done this yet, but it was
Speaker 3: inspired by one of the chapters in the book that
Speaker 3: we just wrote by Love Without Going Broke, where As
Speaker 3: I was writing about contentment, realizing that there were some
Speaker 3: things that I wished could have been different about my
Speaker 3: money and choices, and realizing I'm not alone in this
Speaker 3: a lot of us can feel this way at every
Speaker 3: stage of life, so we're gonna give ourselves space to
Speaker 3: explore that and hopefully some tools to be able to
Speaker 3: move forward in kindness. But first, this episode is brought
Speaker 3: to you by shaping the future. Sounds like a big,
Speaker 3: tall task, but you can do this without even having
Speaker 3: another child or participating in more seminars. All you need
Speaker 3: to do is complete our twenty twenty five Frugal Friends
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Speaker 3: and help us shape the future of Frugal Friends by
Speaker 3: answering just a short ten multiple choice questions. Head to
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Speaker 3: get the link to the survey in the friend letter
Speaker 3: this week, and to get the friend letter, go to
Speaker 3: Frugal friendspodcast dot com.
Speaker 1: Yay Yes. The Mega Survey is our annual survey that
Speaker 1: we do in February. It shapes what we do for
Speaker 1: the entire following year. So if you like Frugal Friends
Speaker 1: and you want it to be more tailored to where
Speaker 1: you are at, then you gotta do the Mega Survey.
Speaker 1: You've got to So if you are struggling with some
Speaker 1: of the guilt and shame of past financial decisions or
Speaker 1: how you handled situations. You're gonna love this episode, but
Speaker 1: you're also going to want to queue up a couple
Speaker 1: episodes for after this episode three fifteen how to build
Speaker 1: and break habits that cause you to overspend because a
Speaker 1: lot of these seasons and regrets can lead to unconscious habits.
Speaker 1: We create habits whether we are intentional about them or not,
Speaker 1: and a lot of time this regret can lead us
Speaker 1: to creating habits where we reject being intentional about habit
Speaker 1: creation because we're ashamed, and so we create habits unintentionally.
Speaker 1: And so three point fifteen is a really good one.
Speaker 1: Episode four fifty two What if You're not lazy? What
Speaker 1: if You're a perfectionist? With Monica Packer. I love this episode.
Speaker 1: I love Monica. She's so wise. We are kindred spirits,
Speaker 1: I feel, and this is a really good one because
Speaker 1: I I knew I was a perfectionist, but I didn't
Speaker 1: put myself in that category. I don't feel like I'm
Speaker 1: very type A. But a lot of the things that
Speaker 1: we talk about in here I identified because if I
Speaker 1: can't do it perfect, I just try. I just don't
Speaker 1: do it at all sort of thing, and I can
Speaker 1: feel lazy at times, and so this episode with Monica
Speaker 1: Packer will really speak to you if you've ever experienced
Speaker 1: that all or nothing mindset, that all in or all
Speaker 1: out sort of mentality. So let's get into this episode
Speaker 1: on financial regrets, and we're going to start with a study.
Speaker 3: So this article comes from nerd Wallet and it's titled
Speaker 3: survey majority of Americans have money regrets in twenty twenty
Speaker 3: four because we just don't have enough data on twenty
Speaker 3: twenty five yet, but they have a really interesting chart
Speaker 3: here about some of the top money regrets of twenty
Speaker 3: twenty four and they start out by saying that nearly
Speaker 3: seven to ten Americans, so that's close to seventy percent
Speaker 3: have financial regrets within twenty twenty four, with the top
Speaker 3: regrets being not saving for emergencies and not saving enough
Speaker 3: for financial goals. This was interesting to me because it's
Speaker 3: one of those non actions, having a regret of not
Speaker 3: doing something. And in our research for this episode, there
Speaker 3: were a lot of articles about people in retirement age
Speaker 3: their regrets on finances, and those were the top regrets
Speaker 3: for like the Boomer generation and above not having saved enough,
Speaker 3: not utilizing their youth to kind of put more away
Speaker 3: for their current circumstances.
Speaker 4: But all people of all ages are.
Speaker 3: Also saying this currently the just non action of saving,
Speaker 3: which I feel personally like that that resonates with me.
Speaker 3: But I also recognize that part of the reason I
Speaker 3: can't put aside as much savings or investing for retirement
Speaker 3: is because of the pinch I'm currently feeling economically, and
Speaker 3: you know, maybe with job choices and earnings and all
Speaker 3: of that. So to your point Jen at the top
Speaker 3: of the episode, some financial regrets like that, it's not
Speaker 3: just one sided. There's many layers to it that we
Speaker 3: could wish we had put away more, but we also
Speaker 3: need to recognize, yeah, but what are the circumstances too,
Speaker 3: And also a lot of actions can I take?
Speaker 1: But yeah, and yeah, this comes from that regret on
Speaker 1: how I handled a season in my life and I
Speaker 1: wasn't able to save as much as I had anticipated,
Speaker 1: save as much as I wanted to, And there is
Speaker 1: regret in that even though the season wasn't primed for
Speaker 1: me to do as much as I thought I was
Speaker 1: capable of. We always think we're more capable in a
Speaker 1: year and less capable of things like over five years
Speaker 1: or ten years. So we get really discouraged when we
Speaker 1: don't reach these crazy goals we have for ourselves in
Speaker 1: one year. And it's so crazy that these top three,
Speaker 1: the top four, three out of four are in action regrets.
Speaker 1: And so I think the first lesson that we should
Speaker 1: take from this episode is that you will always regret
Speaker 1: what you don't do more than what you do. All
Speaker 1: of the other there's a lot of overspending regrets. Most
Speaker 1: of them are regrets for not saving or not doing something.
Speaker 3: Not improving the credit score. But then from there it
Speaker 3: is interesting that all of the lower level regrets are
Speaker 3: about the action and most of them have to do
Speaker 3: with overspending. So I'll read off a couple. Overspending on
Speaker 3: entertainment is the top one. That's actually the third regret.
Speaker 1: Everybody going to Taylor Swift concert, yeah, is what it is.
Speaker 3: Taking on too much credit card debt, overspending on travel,
Speaker 3: overspending on monthly housing costs, overspending on an event, which
Speaker 3: is also entertainment. I would say overspending on a vehicle,
Speaker 3: taking out a mortgage.
Speaker 4: It's kind of the last one.
Speaker 3: But these then it's interesting that Okay, the top ones
Speaker 3: are not putting aside money, but the lesser ones kind
Speaker 3: of show us why we might not be able to
Speaker 3: do that.
Speaker 1: Yes, and I think we do have. I'm sure if
Speaker 1: you were able to okay, so the respondents could choose
Speaker 1: more than one answer, and so yeah, I think it's
Speaker 1: it's really telling that we when we are talking about
Speaker 1: what we want to spend money on, it is experiences,
Speaker 1: not things, right, But all of the answers on here
Speaker 1: and I'm I'm sure it's probably multiple choice. And I
Speaker 1: wish they would have put more like overspending on food,
Speaker 1: but maybe that's monthly housing costs. I would have loved
Speaker 1: to know the difference in that. But even though we
Speaker 1: say we want to spend on more events, entertainment, travel
Speaker 1: than on things, most of our money regret and overspending
Speaker 1: is on those things. And why is that? Is it
Speaker 1: because they cost more? Is that I can more easily
Speaker 1: identify I wasn't able to save as much. I would
Speaker 1: have been able to save more if I had just
Speaker 1: not bought the Taylor Swift concert tickets. It's the biggest
Speaker 1: thing in my head. So it's the thing my head
Speaker 1: jumps to most but probably wasn't critically thought through and
Speaker 1: maybe could have been offset just by more conscious consumption
Speaker 1: in general. So I would I would love to know
Speaker 1: more about the you know, the survey and what the
Speaker 1: options were, but yeah, it is. It is so telling
Speaker 1: that even though we say we want more experiences, our
Speaker 1: guilt and regret jumps right to those when we're able.
Speaker 4: To feel it.
Speaker 3: And these stats are corroborated by another study put out
Speaker 3: by Bank Right where they found that seventy seven percent
Speaker 3: of people have at least a financial regret, and twenty
Speaker 3: two percent regret having not saved enough for retirement, eighteen
Speaker 3: percent regret not saving enough for emergency expenses, fourteen percent
Speaker 3: regret taking on too much credit card debt. So same
Speaker 3: same kind of across the board between these two surveys,
Speaker 3: and also recognizing that forty percent of people who have
Speaker 3: a financial regret haven't been able to make much progress
Speaker 3: on remedying that situation in the past twelve months, and
Speaker 3: forty five percent of those people claim or will look
Speaker 3: to inflation and high prices as part of the reason
Speaker 3: for this negative impact on their progress towards this regret.
Speaker 3: So again highlighting that piece of Some of it's in
Speaker 3: our control, some of it's outside of our control. There
Speaker 3: are pieces at play where we can make decisions, and
Speaker 3: I think we should be looking at where can we
Speaker 3: be shifting actions and behaviors to be able to help ourselves,
Speaker 3: but also where can we recognize that we're kind of
Speaker 3: walking around where people are like tying our limbs behind
Speaker 3: our backs because of what's happening with prices and inflation,
Speaker 3: and just feeling really blocked from being able to achieve
Speaker 3: some of these goals in the timeframe that we want.
Speaker 3: And I think some of this has to do with
Speaker 3: just our own expectations of ourselves and the story that
Speaker 3: we're telling ourselves about what some of these achievements or
Speaker 3: non achievements have meant for us, and whether or not
Speaker 3: our timeline is accurate. So there's definitely room to look
Speaker 3: at our spending and adjustments that can be made, as
Speaker 3: well as our expectations and view of ourselves.
Speaker 1: Yeah, and looking at the all or nothing mentality. Right
Speaker 1: when I set a savings goal for a vacation and
Speaker 1: unexpected inflation or emergencies pop up where I can no
Speaker 1: longer save the amount that I wanted to in some
Speaker 1: months maybe not at all, and in other months maybe less.
Speaker 1: And so I have this all or nothing mentality to
Speaker 1: where like I just something unexpected has happened, so I
Speaker 1: can't save anymore at all, And that is never the
Speaker 1: case long term. So maybe it's true for a month,
Speaker 1: maybe it's true for several months. But even if we
Speaker 1: cannot be our own definition of perfect or all in,
Speaker 1: we need to evaluate where we can find the radical
Speaker 1: middle in saving. We can always take some action to
Speaker 1: go further, and if we cannot take the action in
Speaker 1: what our previous capacity was, we can get creative in
Speaker 1: how we take the action. So if I wanted to
Speaker 1: save two hundred dollars for my vacation, but something unexpected
Speaker 1: has come up where I now have to spend two
Speaker 1: hundred dollars on an urgent care clinic, you know, visit,
Speaker 1: how can I get creative and make up that two
Speaker 1: hundred dollars. Maybe I'm doing a no spend challenge. Maybe
Speaker 1: I am doing you know, Uber eats or instant card.
Speaker 1: I do not think those are viable long term side
Speaker 1: hustle options, but maybe it's good for one month in
Speaker 1: this way to get creative. So that is that and
Speaker 1: those may not be your solutions, but the opportunity to
Speaker 1: get creative to think about how how can I make
Speaker 1: up even a hundred of it, even fifty dollars of it.
Speaker 1: We have to be okay without with not being our
Speaker 1: own standard of perfect.
Speaker 3: So speaking of some of the things that we can do,
Speaker 3: I want to look at this article that talks about
Speaker 3: how to cope with regret, and this is from very
Speaker 3: well mined and this is not specifically about financial regret. Actually,
Speaker 3: any of the articles that talk about managing financial regret.
Speaker 3: I didn't love the angle that they took. It was
Speaker 3: super action based, like assuming that it means you're correct
Speaker 3: about the regret and you have to do something immediately
Speaker 3: about it to correct it and like right the wrong.
Speaker 3: And maybe that's the case, but I also think that
Speaker 3: a lot of times with regret, there's a little bit
Speaker 3: more that we need to explore emotionally, mentally, relationally of
Speaker 3: what is this regret rooted in?
Speaker 4: And it is this? Do I need to have this
Speaker 4: perspective of I wish it would.
Speaker 3: Have gone differently or could we kind of embrace it
Speaker 3: and recognize this has taught me something, It's part of
Speaker 3: my process sess and I'll share this now because I
Speaker 3: think I'll probably end up weaving it in as we
Speaker 3: talk about just in general, ways to cope with regret.
Speaker 3: The thing that I shared in the chapter about contentment
Speaker 3: versus complacency in the book had to do with some
Speaker 3: At the time, I think I would have called them regrets.
Speaker 3: Now I wouldn't say it that way, like I hope
Speaker 3: to live a life where I don't have regret. That
Speaker 3: doesn't mean no mistakes, no failures, but to recognize these
Speaker 3: are the things that shape me. But at the time,
Speaker 3: when I was, you know, full time social work straight
Speaker 3: out of college all of my twenties, I was making
Speaker 3: low amounts of money. And now that I'm solidly in
Speaker 3: my thirties, I can look back on that and wish
Speaker 3: that I had chosen a more lucrative job, that I
Speaker 3: had spent my youth building up a skill set and
Speaker 3: a career that would pay me more than the twenty
Speaker 3: five to thirty five thousand dollars a year that I
Speaker 3: was making. And especially when I see my friends around
Speaker 3: me talking about what their current net worth is and
Speaker 3: how much they already have saved for retirement and the
Speaker 3: houses that they're buying and realizing part of the reason
Speaker 3: I'm not there is because I chose without totally knowing
Speaker 3: what the consequences would be, a lifestyle of just not
Speaker 3: making a ton of money, and it did lead to
Speaker 3: some pangs of regret. I think you can kind of see,
Speaker 3: like my journey through the chapter, like how I kind
Speaker 3: of came to terms with that. But I think this
Speaker 3: article is also talking about some of the process there
Speaker 3: of we can recognize life might have looked different if
Speaker 3: I had chosen some different things, but we also have
Speaker 3: to look at the flip side of that, like definitely
Speaker 3: identify what was sacrificed, but also what was gained. And
Speaker 3: so I think this is a really important process to
Speaker 3: give ourselves when we identify a regret before we just
Speaker 3: jump to action, to look at, Okay, what does this
Speaker 3: mean for me? What are the consequences, What are the
Speaker 3: sacrifices here? But also what are the learnings? What did
Speaker 3: I gain as a result? What was the cost benefit
Speaker 3: analysis of the fact that this thing happened, Even if
Speaker 3: it's I racked up crazy credit card debt in college, Okay,
Speaker 3: and what did you gain? You probably had a blast,
Speaker 3: You probably did things that now in life, later in
Speaker 3: life you're never gonna do again, and you're learning about
Speaker 3: how to engage well with money, what to do and
Speaker 3: what not to do with debt, and recognizing I didn't
Speaker 3: know everything I was in my twenties and even if
Speaker 3: you make those mistakes later on in life.
Speaker 4: So that's my little tidbit.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I've been saying frequently lately that we need to
Speaker 1: learn how to fail, learn how to make mistakes because
Speaker 1: because we view them as like failure, as the end
Speaker 1: of a journey. In reality, a mistake, a failure, a
Speaker 1: setback is what causes growth, is what causes learning. If
Speaker 1: everything goes well well all the time. You know, we
Speaker 1: call them nepo babies, right, and we make fun of them.
Speaker 1: You know, they don't deserve it, but maybe they do.
Speaker 1: I don't know, but yeah, we you know, Yeah, we
Speaker 1: just have to learn how to make mistakes. We have
Speaker 1: to learn how to learn from when things don't go
Speaker 1: right for us and embrace it and not feel like
Speaker 1: it's a failure, not feel you know, negatively about it.
Speaker 1: I mean, we can feel negatively about it, but we
Speaker 1: have to learn how to take them as learning experiences
Speaker 1: instead of like failures. In and of themselves.
Speaker 3: So that is the first one of practicing self acceptance
Speaker 3: and really exploring what am I feeling about this? How
Speaker 3: am I defining this as a mistake or a failure?
Speaker 3: And I love what they're saying here. So accepting yourself
Speaker 3: and your feelings does not mean you don't want to
Speaker 3: change things or make different decisions in the future. It
Speaker 3: just means that you are able to recognize that you're
Speaker 3: always learning, changing and growing. So reminding yourself that the
Speaker 3: events of the past don't determine your future. You are
Speaker 3: capable at any stage of making better choices in the future,
Speaker 3: more beneficial choices.
Speaker 1: Taking action, that is the real That is what we
Speaker 1: want to convey. Here's taking action like this next one
Speaker 1: of forgiving yourself. Uh So, the article says regret involves
Speaker 1: a a component of guilt and self recrimination. Oh what
Speaker 1: a word. Recrimination. Finding ways to forgive yourself can help
Speaker 1: relieve some of the negative feelings associated with regret. So
Speaker 1: for me, my story of financial regret comes when we
Speaker 1: were paying off debt, and while we were paying off debt,
Speaker 1: I was being it was being reinforced in me that
Speaker 1: debt is dumb. And so for me, that that translates
Speaker 1: to people who take on debt are dumb. And I
Speaker 1: took on student loans to better my future, but I
Speaker 1: regretted that during that scenario. But I felt conflicted because
Speaker 1: I was like, I needed to take on loans nobody
Speaker 1: safe for me for college and if I was going
Speaker 1: to do anything in my early life, I needed to
Speaker 1: take on debt to get a degree. And I chose
Speaker 1: a pretty wise degree path. But I still, because this
Speaker 1: was being reinforced in me, I felt very guilty. I
Speaker 1: felt very dumb, and I almost I regretted taking out
Speaker 1: these loans because paying them back was not fun. Yeah,
Speaker 1: and I had to forgive myself. It took I don't
Speaker 1: even know how it happened, maybe just like it just
Speaker 1: took like a lot of self reflection and realizing the
Speaker 1: person that was telling me that I was dumb was
Speaker 1: not right and there were other viewpoints that I aligned
Speaker 1: better with and that taking out student loans was not
Speaker 1: dumb yeh. And yes, it was painful to pay them
Speaker 1: back and that was the right move, but it was
Speaker 1: not dumb.
Speaker 4: Yeah.
Speaker 3: Personally, I do wish that I had known more about
Speaker 3: student loans and the loans that like I didn't necessarily
Speaker 3: have to take out but similar journey to you, this
Speaker 3: is what I experienced. I only knew what I knew.
Speaker 3: We worked towards paying it off. I felt silly for
Speaker 3: having taken out the degree of loans that I took out.
Speaker 3: I definitely, looking back, did not need to. It had
Speaker 3: to do with the schools that I chose and all
Speaker 3: of that. However, as painful as it was to pay
Speaker 3: those off, I also then took out loans later on
Speaker 3: that I didn't feel guilty about. Kind of that reworking
Speaker 3: of debt is neutral kind of happened in between paying
Speaker 3: off student loans and then taking out a loan for
Speaker 3: the motor home that we lived in, and recognizing, oh,
Speaker 3: this is actually helping us towards some of these financial goals.
Speaker 3: And it's so interesting some of that reframing how it
Speaker 3: really can shift our actions and the ways that we
Speaker 3: view ourselves. So the next one is this is interesting
Speaker 3: apologize for mistakes. This might be really specifically for regrets
Speaker 3: where it does involve other people, but I think this
Speaker 3: is tied to what you are just saying, jen of
Speaker 3: asking for forgiveness or forgiving yourself for some of these
Speaker 3: things like almost you know, if you feel the need
Speaker 3: to acknowledge it to yourself and forgive yourself. But also
Speaker 3: if there are other people involved, if this is a
Speaker 3: situation where maybe you accruede a lot of debt with
Speaker 3: a partner, being able to kind of apologize to one
Speaker 3: another can really help clear the air and solidify the
Speaker 3: desire to do different going forward. It can kind of
Speaker 3: be a marker for we recognize that this mistake was made.
Speaker 3: We're going to do our best not to live in regret,
Speaker 3: but there is room to own some of these mistakes
Speaker 3: to one another.
Speaker 1: Next is take action. I promise I didn't put it
Speaker 1: in there. It was in there. So this is not
Speaker 1: just a way to like avoid or process, it's it's
Speaker 1: a way to cope with feelings of regret. So a
Speaker 1: lot of us will so when we feel out of control,
Speaker 1: we will always seek to regain control. And if we
Speaker 1: can't regain control in the thing that we are out
Speaker 1: of control on, we will gain control in something else.
Speaker 1: And a lot of times side you know side note
Speaker 1: that's spending money on something, we will spend money on
Speaker 1: something adjacent to maybe try to solve the problem. Or
Speaker 1: if we you know, if there's nothing we can buy
Speaker 1: to solve it, we will just spend money to try
Speaker 1: to control something else, to buy, you know, something else.
Speaker 1: So we want to recognize that so that we avoid
Speaker 1: that action and we pick a healthy action. So is
Speaker 1: it putting fifty dollars into a sinking fund, is it
Speaker 1: putting fifty dollars into your IRA? Is it upping your
Speaker 1: four oh one k contribution by three percent? Whatever it is,
Speaker 1: take an action, make sure that action is healthy.
Speaker 3: Yeah, and one of those actions can be reframing. So
Speaker 3: this is a cognitive thing that we can do, a
Speaker 3: cognitive exercise that we can engage in where we choose
Speaker 3: how we want to look at the situation, so how
Speaker 3: we want to think about and the story we want
Speaker 3: to tell ourselves about this thing that happened. So it's
Speaker 3: validating the emotions and kind of rewriting, not saying that
Speaker 3: the facts of the thing are different, but the way
Speaker 3: that you're choosing to look at it is different. This
Speaker 3: is kind of what we've already been talking about of
Speaker 3: the goal of not having regrets. Is part of that
Speaker 3: reframing that, Yeah, maybe I wish that I had chosen
Speaker 3: something different. But in reframing we can say that this
Speaker 3: was something that I chose when I had this degree
Speaker 3: of knowledge, and I know now what I'm going to
Speaker 3: choose going forward, and that thing, that choice, that action,
Speaker 3: that behavior of the past did help to teach me
Speaker 3: that I am learning and growing through this process. So
Speaker 3: it's really kind of a resilience outlook, or this is
Speaker 3: what can build resilience in us when we can choose
Speaker 3: the way that we're going to look at this situation.
Speaker 3: So changing the way that we think about things and
Speaker 3: what has happened in the past can help us to
Speaker 3: even view regret in a different way, and it can
Speaker 3: move us away from dwelling on the negative feelings and
Speaker 3: more so seeing it as information that can help guide
Speaker 3: us going forward.
Speaker 1: Yeah, and if you're feeling like really heavy about your regret,
Speaker 1: the article recommends a book by Daniel Pink, who is
Speaker 1: a behavioral psychologist. It's called The Power of Regret. I've
Speaker 1: read Daniel Pink's work before and it's really good. So, yeah,
Speaker 1: the Power of Regret might help expound on some of
Speaker 1: this thing that we've been talking about.
Speaker 3: Yeah, Man, it can be so helpful to just view
Speaker 3: it differently. We can feel so much more empowered and
Speaker 3: resourced to now move forward. I think regret keeps us stuck,
Speaker 3: but being able to reframe it shows us the pathway forward.
Speaker 3: So I think, yeah, my encouragement is to recognize you're
Speaker 3: not alone if you feel like, man, I've really screwed
Speaker 3: this up, or I wish I had made different choices
Speaker 3: and decisions. These surveys and just Jen and I are
Speaker 3: telling you same. Yeah, not beyond it either, Like there
Speaker 3: are still times like I still wish currently I could
Speaker 3: put more money into retirement, but I'm also recognizing my
Speaker 3: life season, the realities of current circumstances, some of the
Speaker 3: choices I can make to put little bit by little
Speaker 3: bit towards it. I'm aware of it. Yeah, really, and
Speaker 3: you know what more can we do? We've got to
Speaker 3: then be kind to ourselves from there.
Speaker 1: Well, I think awareness is something that almost it cripples
Speaker 1: us because we know what we should be doing, and
Speaker 1: we're not in a season to do it, or to
Speaker 1: do it as much as we think we should be doing.
Speaker 1: I think some of these articles on like how much
Speaker 1: you should have saved it twenty, how much you should
Speaker 1: have at thirty, forty, et cetera, do us a disservice
Speaker 1: because we think we should be and we probably should
Speaker 1: ideally in a perfect world, most of us are behind.
Speaker 1: But like it's it's one of those things where you
Speaker 1: don't know what you don't know until you know it,
Speaker 1: and then you do. All you can do is move
Speaker 1: forward in the capacity which you are able to. And
Speaker 1: so much of it is like you figure this stuff
Speaker 1: out once you already have a mortgage and a high
Speaker 1: car payment and children, and you're like in this place
Speaker 1: where you wish you would have found this stuff out,
Speaker 1: you know, five ten years ago. But the biggest solution
Speaker 1: to the regret that you're feeling in all of this
Speaker 1: is to just do a little, to do a little,
Speaker 1: to do what's in your capacity and try to alter
Speaker 1: some of the things in your life to be able
Speaker 1: to do more, you know, one percent more every month.
Speaker 3: The baggage of the negative feelings about it and the
Speaker 3: way that we view it is just weight we don't
Speaker 3: need in actually being able to like shift the.
Speaker 4: Story for ourselves.
Speaker 3: So whatever we can do to shed that and just
Speaker 3: to actually keep moving forward here for it we have
Speaker 3: to you know, what else I'm here for and is
Speaker 3: not baggage?
Speaker 4: Does it actually lifts the weight.
Speaker 1: And I will never have a regret for having this
Speaker 1: part of our show.
Speaker 3: The bill of the week.
Speaker 2: That's right, it's time for the best minute of your
Speaker 2: entire week. Maybe a baby was born and his name
Speaker 2: is William. Maybe you've paid off your mortgage, Maybe your
Speaker 2: car died and you're happy to not have to pay
Speaker 2: that bill anymore. Dust bills, Buffalo bills, Bill Clinton, This
Speaker 2: is the bill of the week.
Speaker 1: Hi, Jen and Jill.
Speaker 5: My name is Kat and I am a loyal Frugal
Speaker 5: Friends podcast listener and wanted to submit my first Bill
Speaker 5: of the week to you all. Back in July, I
Speaker 5: received a laboratory bill for some lab work that I
Speaker 5: had done through my PCP's office earlier in the year.
Speaker 5: The amount was for one hundred and eight dollars. I
Speaker 5: put the bill in my mail organizer and completely forgot
Speaker 5: to pay it until last night. I logged in online
Speaker 5: to pay the bill, and to my surprise, there was
Speaker 5: a zero balance due. So I contacted the laboratory company
Speaker 5: and was told that in August, my insurance company made
Speaker 5: a payment of twenty three dollars and the laboratory company
Speaker 5: had to accept that as payment in full. So I
Speaker 5: am no longer on the hook for one hundred and
Speaker 5: eight dollars. So this is just a reminder to everybody
Speaker 5: that sometimes waiting can pay off. Thanks so much for listening.
Speaker 1: Way to go, Kat, This is actually wise with all
Speaker 1: medical bills to wait for as long as possible to
Speaker 1: pay them. That's just like, do not pay a medical
Speaker 1: bill immediately. Just rule with them.
Speaker 3: Yeah, it's like it doesn't sound like the greatest advice
Speaker 3: because it's not what you would do with.
Speaker 4: Any other bill.
Speaker 3: But they just take so long to get you your
Speaker 3: bills and a lot of times yep, and then it's wrong.
Speaker 3: And then they haven't actually received the payments from the
Speaker 3: insurance company yet. There there's just they haven't made necessarily
Speaker 3: the adjustments to make. This happened to me recently too,
Speaker 3: where I knew that there was going to be more
Speaker 3: bills coming in, so I wanted to wait until they
Speaker 3: just sent me all of them because it was it
Speaker 3: was within like a six month period of time. But
Speaker 3: I'm like y'all are rolling out bills in sporadic time frames.
Speaker 3: I just want it all together in one bill, and
Speaker 3: then I want to negotiate that bill.
Speaker 4: Once it's all one lump sum.
Speaker 3: Yeah, and then we'll and then we'll pay it.
Speaker 1: Because especially if you and this isn't general good advice,
Speaker 1: but like, if you don't need a good credit score,
Speaker 1: you can just threaten to send it to collections. And
Speaker 1: they don't want you to send it to collections, but
Speaker 1: you very well could and just negotiate it there. You
Speaker 1: can negotiate it. It's just like what your priorities are. Yeah,
Speaker 1: but you can use that as a bargaining chip.
Speaker 4: Because depending on how big the bill is, right.
Speaker 1: Nothing bad will happen to you if that bill gets
Speaker 1: sent to collections, and then you can negotiate it down even.
Speaker 4: Further other than it affecting your credit.
Speaker 1: Yeah, but nothing happens to you physically. Nobody comes to.
Speaker 4: Your head, take your jail or something.
Speaker 1: No, you don't streak to jail.
Speaker 3: Well, Kat, that's an amazing bill. Thanks for sharing that
Speaker 3: with us, and congratulations. If you all listening have a
Speaker 3: bill that you want to submit, If it has to
Speaker 3: do with letting your bills just sit around and then
Speaker 3: get paid off by somebody else, if it has to
Speaker 3: do with a bill you don't mind paying, your name
Speaker 3: is Bill Forrugal Friends podcast dot com. Slash Bill, leave
Speaker 3: it for us and now it's time for the King round.
Speaker 1: Sure, okay, so let's talk about the biggest regret that
Speaker 1: you have in twenty twenty four of what you purchase.
Speaker 1: What was your biggest purchasing regret in twenty twenty four, Jill,
Speaker 1: This is a.
Speaker 3: Fun one's and it's somewhat recent because it was December
Speaker 3: of twenty twenty four. Oh, I had a moment of weakness.
Speaker 3: I bought Derma planing razor.
Speaker 4: What is that?
Speaker 3: It's to shave off the little peach fuzz on your face,
Speaker 3: you know, like the hair like around like your cheeks, yeah,
Speaker 3: below your ear. Okay, well, this is embarrassing because this
Speaker 3: never happens to me, but it did happen to me.
Speaker 4: I was on in Cet girl. Yeah, I mean you
Speaker 4: become vulnerable?
Speaker 1: Did you become insecure?
Speaker 3: So I saw this girl who was describing her very
Speaker 3: this was this was the thing, her very low maintenance
Speaker 3: skincare routine. And it was just three things and I
Speaker 3: don't even remember the other two. I do like the
Speaker 3: other two. But she's like, I don't get facials, I
Speaker 3: don't do botux, I don't do this, I don't.
Speaker 4: Do that here's what I do.
Speaker 3: And one of the things that she listed was derma planing,
Speaker 3: and I will say I had been curious about this
Speaker 3: years ago, like realizing in the sunlight, oh wow, there's
Speaker 3: there's like a good amount of hair on the cheeks,
Speaker 3: on your skin, and I was like, oh, that'd be
Speaker 3: really interesting. And she's like, you know, makeup goes on
Speaker 3: smoother and like skin, you know, you're less likely to
Speaker 3: get and grown hit.
Speaker 4: Well.
Speaker 3: Although here's the thing, and I haven't yet used them,
Speaker 3: I bought the derma plane razors, thinking like, oh great,
Speaker 3: I can get rid of like the peach fuzz and
Speaker 3: just be you know, there's a little bare, little baby
Speaker 3: on my face. And then I thought, and then I
Speaker 3: realized this is shaving. This is shaving your face. Like
Speaker 3: you're calling it derma planing, but it's shaving. Which also
Speaker 3: brings me back to like the marketing tools right, the
Speaker 3: way that they market certain things to men versus women,
Speaker 3: Like that that shaving used to be associated with, like
Speaker 3: men shaving their beards, so they like renamed what you
Speaker 3: would call shaving your legs for women.
Speaker 4: I think this is along those lines. They're calling it
Speaker 4: derma planing, but what I.
Speaker 3: Realized is, wait, once I do this, my hair is
Speaker 3: going to grow back, and then it's gonna be like
Speaker 3: stubbly and potentially more rough to the touch, and potentially
Speaker 3: I'll have greater risk of ingrown hairs. So now I'm
Speaker 3: very glad that I didn't end up using the Derma
Speaker 3: Planing raisers. But I didn't discover this or come to
Speaker 3: this realization till after the return window. So now I
Speaker 3: just have a package of Derma Planing raisers that was
Speaker 3: a waste of eight dollars.
Speaker 4: Wow, and never again.
Speaker 1: So I am finding along that lines where you're like
Speaker 1: three like simple three step skincare routine. I don't need
Speaker 1: all of this stuff. I am noticing that under consumption
Speaker 1: has become another marketing tool where you have these over
Speaker 1: consumption videos where they'll have forty products in one minute,
Speaker 1: hoping you just buy one. And now they'll have the
Speaker 1: under consumption videos that just have one or three products
Speaker 1: that they deem superior, hoping that you will buy it. Yeah,
Speaker 1: because it's of greater it's more exclusive, it's quality over quantity.
Speaker 1: It is another marketing tactic.
Speaker 3: Yeah, So I suppose, and you know what I'm learning,
Speaker 3: I'm learning from that. Never again, are these photoshopped women
Speaker 3: gonna talk me into buying something I don't need?
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's I would. I mean, yeah, I'm attracted to
Speaker 1: the under consumption videos because I believe that the products
Speaker 1: they are using must be the most superior. They must
Speaker 1: be the best if they only have one or very few.
Speaker 1: Yeah so, but that's something I've noticed.
Speaker 3: All right, your turn to be vulnerable. What's your purchasing regret?
Speaker 1: Mine did not come from influence but from desperation. And
Speaker 1: it is sippy cups. And I bought like I have bought,
Speaker 1: so I bought so many different types of sippy cups
Speaker 1: in twenty twenty four to try to wean my child
Speaker 1: off his bottle. And it is just a fool's Errand
Speaker 1: like I could have just picked one, taken away the
Speaker 1: bottles and just like them right drink. And I'm just
Speaker 1: tired and weak and desperate. And I've spent gosh fifty
Speaker 1: bucks at least on sippy cups that don't get used. Yeah, struggle,
Speaker 1: I know.
Speaker 4: So he will just beg for a bottle.
Speaker 1: Yeah, well, and he won't necessarily beg for a bottle,
Speaker 1: but like he'll want water and He'll want to drink
Speaker 1: out of my cup, and I'm trying to get him
Speaker 1: cups that are maybe similar but don't leak, because he'll
Speaker 1: pour water all over himself and he just won't drink
Speaker 1: out of them. Like I got ones that you can
Speaker 1: lift up like a bottle, and he won't and they're
Speaker 1: too you know, he won't suck hard enough to get
Speaker 1: them out. Then I'll give him ones that are like
Speaker 1: my cup, just a straw, but you have to have
Speaker 1: it vertical, and he'll lift it up and he'll be
Speaker 1: mad that nothing's coming out. It's just so frustrating.
Speaker 4: Oh, so you haven't landed on a solution yet.
Speaker 1: No, I think I've gotten close because so I have
Speaker 1: a Stanley, which was a gift that I've just been using.
Speaker 1: It is not the best water bottle. I don't recommend
Speaker 1: buying one, but it is what I have, and I
Speaker 1: won't be sad if I lose it or run over it,
Speaker 1: or if it catches on fire. So I bought a replica,
Speaker 1: a tiny replica for.
Speaker 4: A child, and has that worked?
Speaker 1: It has worked the best. Okay, yeah, it has worked
Speaker 1: the best.
Speaker 3: Do you remember when all of the teena not all
Speaker 3: of them I'm making a sweeping statement. But do you
Speaker 3: remember when the trend was that teenagers would walk around
Speaker 3: with bottles, They would like drink out of bottles.
Speaker 4: Do you remember that? No? Oh well, no, I just
Speaker 4: sound insane.
Speaker 3: It was a popular trend for a time, I want
Speaker 3: to say, like late two thousands, maybe even teens, where
Speaker 3: teenagers were just like walking around with zippy caps with
Speaker 3: all right, I don't.
Speaker 4: I'm gonna dig it up.
Speaker 1: And you went to a birthday party where there were
Speaker 1: stan Lee's and they were in like carrying cases with
Speaker 1: a with a straw topper, and they were bit dazzled,
Speaker 1: And I was like, is not that good of a cup?
Speaker 1: Like it does not warrant all. I mean, I guess
Speaker 1: in order to make it better, you have to put
Speaker 1: all that stuff on it, but like it leaks as
Speaker 1: soon as you tip it over, it falls out, like
Speaker 1: all the water falls out, and the straw's plastic. So
Speaker 1: I had to cut part of it off when at
Speaker 1: Las chewed it to bits, like at the end, like
Speaker 1: it's just not the best of Sure, if your car
Speaker 1: catches on fire, it is gonna survive, and that is
Speaker 1: the best aspect of it. But like my car isn't
Speaker 1: catching on fire. But I'm always knocking over bought my
Speaker 1: water bottle, so it's just not wise. And I the
Speaker 1: minute I lose it, because that's always what happens. I
Speaker 1: will keep a water bottle for a year two years max,
Speaker 1: and then I will lose it somewhere. Yeah, and as
Speaker 1: soon as that happens, I will be thankful to buy
Speaker 1: a different water bottle. So thank you for listening to
Speaker 1: this episode on financial regret and the rant on Stanley's.
Speaker 1: We have loved reading your kind reviews about our book
Speaker 1: by What You Love Without Going Broke, which again we
Speaker 1: do talk about some of this in our chapter on
Speaker 1: Contentment without Complacency, and we loved this review. Five stars
Speaker 1: from Katie Carter says, just like the podcast, I'm giving
Speaker 1: this book five stars. In this book, the Frugal Friends
Speaker 1: have taken the super complex world of finance and simplified
Speaker 1: it literally. There's a whole chapter on simplification. Jen and
Speaker 1: Jill have done the hard work of deep diving into
Speaker 1: the psychology of our spending, our values, and how the
Speaker 1: world wants us to spend, and then have given us
Speaker 1: the lightning round and action steps to help us take
Speaker 1: control of how we spend. This is not just another
Speaker 1: book that will tell you not to buy coffee. This
Speaker 1: book will make you figure out if you even want
Speaker 1: the coffee. Thank you so much, Katie, this was so kind.
Speaker 3: Oh my goodness, thanks for that review. We our love
Speaker 3: and reading these reviews, and thank you so much for listening.
Speaker 3: If you like the show, if you like the book,
Speaker 3: please leave us a rating and review wherever you bought
Speaker 3: the book, wherever you're listening to the podcast.
Speaker 4: It really helps us.
Speaker 1: Absolutely, and we will see you next time.
Speaker 4: Bye.
Speaker 1: Frugal Friends is produced by Eric Sirianni.
Speaker 3: Okay, it was actually the nineties. I was wow as usual,
Speaker 3: thinking that I'm younger than.
Speaker 1: It's crazy that it's not back yet, because the nineties
Speaker 1: are on trend.
Speaker 3: I think we're going to get close. So it was.
Speaker 3: It was passifiers, mostly pacifiers, but baby bottles got like
Speaker 3: thrown into the mix.
Speaker 4: Do you remember this?
Speaker 3: No, I like, I want to say even like Britney
Speaker 3: Spears and Christina Aguilero were like walking around with.
Speaker 1: Passifier vaguely maybe that it was a fashion trend. I guess.
Speaker 1: I don't know. I don't want to say definitively yes,
Speaker 1: because I don't, but maybe vaguely.
Speaker 4: I feel like I've got to find images.
Speaker 3: Of pop stars past fires in it. Yeah, the pacifier trend.
Speaker 1: And it's just a bunch of babies with passifiers and
Speaker 1: mom blogs being like pacifiers are the worst. Don't give
Speaker 1: your baby a pacifier. They're out of trend.
Speaker 4: Yeah.
Speaker 3: Yeah, looking up images. Yeah, you'd like wear them as necklaces.
Speaker 1: Okay, I do remember these, these I remember because they're
Speaker 1: not actual Justin Justin Bieber, No, that's not real.
Speaker 4: That is that is Yeah, that is photo for sure.
Speaker 1: Will those teenagers look like they have real pacifiers? But
Speaker 1: I remember these plastic pacifiers like, they're not four babies,
Speaker 1: they're four teenagers.
Speaker 4: Yeah. Yeah, I remember that.
Speaker 3: You'd wear them on a necklace around and then you
Speaker 3: just be like something.
Speaker 1: And then you'd put it in your mouth because you're gross.
Speaker 1: You're gross teenager. Yeah, I remember that.
Speaker 4: Oh man, so strange. The choices we made and the
Speaker 4: choices that will be made again in the.
Speaker 1: Future, the choices we're still funny making.
Speaker 3: Watch I'm talking about this, and then it'll be what
Speaker 3: pops up in our reels after this.
Speaker 1: Oh my gosh. No. Well, yeah, because you're searching it
Speaker 1: on your lap.
Speaker 4: We are trendset.
Speaker 1: Sure.
Speaker 4: Wow. Well, I hope you fine a sippy cup that
Speaker 4: works