WEBVTT - ReWives ReRant: Public Privacy 0:00:13.119 --> 0:00:20.720 The real Blouzewives. So between a Hulu Nightline special, Rolling Stone, 0:00:20.880 --> 0:00:24.720 and The Collider, there's an onslaught of articles that are 0:00:24.760 --> 0:00:32.520 crystallizing and combining the stories of alcohol abuse being highlighted 0:00:32.520 --> 0:00:37.920 on television and downfalls on real Housewives. And if you 0:00:37.920 --> 0:00:40.279 think about it, I think it's been reported that there 0:00:40.280 --> 0:00:42.120 are like one hundred and fifty to one hundred and 0:00:42.120 --> 0:00:47.360 seventy five housewives, so I personally think at least ten 0:00:47.720 --> 0:00:50.919 that have had a brush with the law, a dui, 0:00:51.400 --> 0:00:57.880 been arrested, blacked out, something that really was drastic. So 0:00:58.680 --> 0:01:03.880 allegedly at at least five to ten percent of housewives 0:01:04.680 --> 0:01:11.440 have relapsed or had some stressful experience culminating in the 0:01:11.480 --> 0:01:15.559 abuse of alcohol. Do we honestly believe that these ten 0:01:15.600 --> 0:01:22.560 to twenty women would have had this same heightened peak 0:01:23.200 --> 0:01:26.800 and crash with a not on reality television. I can 0:01:26.840 --> 0:01:29.600 personally tell you that I know of at least ten 0:01:30.080 --> 0:01:37.200 housewives that have taken anti depressants, anti anxiety something to 0:01:37.240 --> 0:01:39.360 take the edge off as a result of being on 0:01:39.400 --> 0:01:43.160 the show, because the pressure is so great, the pressure 0:01:43.200 --> 0:01:45.240 to look like you have money, the pressure to have 0:01:45.280 --> 0:01:48.720 a storyline, the pressure of fame, the pressure of battling 0:01:49.040 --> 0:01:52.200 your skeletons coming out of the closet, the pressure of 0:01:52.720 --> 0:01:56.880 other people constantly talking about you, Sleepless nights, trips that 0:01:57.080 --> 0:02:00.360 are like a pressure cooker designed for confide like so 0:02:00.440 --> 0:02:04.120 women can really get into it, and then recover reunions 0:02:04.160 --> 0:02:07.960 that people come out of and say that they felt 0:02:08.000 --> 0:02:12.279 like they went through a war. Women are dehydrated, exhausted, 0:02:12.440 --> 0:02:15.880 and need days to recover from these reunions where you 0:02:16.040 --> 0:02:19.800 rehash these manufactured conflicts that you would never have entered 0:02:19.840 --> 0:02:23.400 into were you not on the Housewives. The money is 0:02:23.440 --> 0:02:26.880 too tempting, the fame is too tempting. But at the end, 0:02:27.280 --> 0:02:30.960 there's a pot of gold for some, for the very 0:02:31.040 --> 0:02:33.680 few that fight their way to the top make it 0:02:33.680 --> 0:02:37.240 out alive. The rest are just casualties of the Real 0:02:37.280 --> 0:02:41.000 Housewives atmosphere. So when Andy is asked about the reality 0:02:41.080 --> 0:02:45.200 reckoning and responds with I'm just focusing on the joy, 0:02:45.280 --> 0:02:48.600 that's a bag of bullshit, because there's no other reason 0:02:48.680 --> 0:02:52.280 why Bravo and Shed would be putting out all these 0:02:52.280 --> 0:02:59.040 statements about implementing psychological professionals and measures and tests and 0:02:59.240 --> 0:03:03.799 alcohol controls, et cetera. And as Liam McSweeney said in Nightline, 0:03:04.360 --> 0:03:09.079 even bar is designed for profit to sell alcohol. Stop 0:03:09.200 --> 0:03:15.200 someone when they've exceeded a reasonable amount of alcohol consumption. 0:03:16.080 --> 0:03:19.480 But on the Housewives, which is not a legal workplace, 0:03:20.040 --> 0:03:24.080 excessive alcohol consumption by people that are known addicts in 0:03:24.120 --> 0:03:28.640 the environment is a positive. Everybody gets excited when the 0:03:28.720 --> 0:03:32.440 addict falls off the wagon, gets wasted, does something stupid 0:03:32.440 --> 0:03:36.040 and crazy, because in this upside down that's a positive. 0:03:36.360 --> 0:03:40.080 That's performing well at work. And now this two paste 0:03:40.120 --> 0:03:41.720 is out of the tube, the genie is out of 0:03:41.720 --> 0:03:46.040 the bottle, and we've opened Pandora's box. And I'm sorry, 0:03:46.160 --> 0:03:50.320 not sorry. So yeah, if biting the hand that fed us, 0:03:50.880 --> 0:03:58.440 that hand deserves to be bitten. In thinking about the 0:03:58.480 --> 0:04:04.240 Housewives and like Kyle and Mauricio's breakup, or Dorriad and 0:04:04.400 --> 0:04:07.440 PK and what's going on with them or all of this, 0:04:08.280 --> 0:04:12.160 I was talking to my therapist about in my adult career, 0:04:12.760 --> 0:04:17.479 I was raised in an environment where you have to 0:04:17.600 --> 0:04:19.799 mention it all. You don't really have a private life. 0:04:19.960 --> 0:04:23.520 Kyle cannot not talk about what's going on with her 0:04:23.520 --> 0:04:26.920 in Mauricio. She doesn't have that option. Dorie cannot talk 0:04:26.920 --> 0:04:29.760 about her relationship with PK the girl on the new show. 0:04:29.800 --> 0:04:31.400 I saw something about like she had to talk about 0:04:31.400 --> 0:04:34.280 her boyfriend. Now she's on a reality show, she cannot 0:04:34.320 --> 0:04:38.560 not talk about her relationship with her guy or anyone 0:04:38.760 --> 0:04:42.520 like literally, Nini, who you're dating, it's what they've signed 0:04:42.600 --> 0:04:45.000 up for. And Nini's not even on reality TV anymore. 0:04:45.960 --> 0:04:48.239 But I was thinking. I was talking to my therapists 0:04:48.240 --> 0:04:51.200 and she said, you are trained in an environment where 0:04:51.240 --> 0:04:56.280 you have to share your entire private life, and you 0:04:56.320 --> 0:04:58.960 don't live in that environment anymore. And it's funny because 0:04:58.960 --> 0:05:02.880 when I talk about deprogramming from that and how that 0:05:03.000 --> 0:05:07.600 desensitizes you from normalization, how you think things are normal 0:05:07.600 --> 0:05:10.200 that aren't, and it's the upside down. How something happens 0:05:10.240 --> 0:05:12.040 and you just know that it would be great for 0:05:12.080 --> 0:05:14.760 the cameras. Where are the cameras, like, and you want 0:05:14.760 --> 0:05:16.960 to capture it or save it for the cameras. Or 0:05:17.279 --> 0:05:20.200 someone else does something that you know they did privately, 0:05:20.520 --> 0:05:22.600 and you really feel that it's unfair that they're not 0:05:22.640 --> 0:05:25.480 bringing it into the show. Because you're being forced to 0:05:25.480 --> 0:05:27.600 bring in whatever you're doing into the show. The producers 0:05:27.640 --> 0:05:29.720 might say, you have to talk about this thing that happened, 0:05:30.080 --> 0:05:34.440 and Jane is sleeping with her you know, best friend's husband, 0:05:34.440 --> 0:05:37.359 and you know about it, and you're being held to 0:05:37.400 --> 0:05:40.000 a standard that they're not because maybe they're better at 0:05:40.279 --> 0:05:43.440 sleuthing or and it all comes to the surface. And 0:05:43.680 --> 0:05:49.039 I left that environment and in no area of my life, 0:05:49.120 --> 0:05:52.800 whether it's my daughter or my relationship, or my health 0:05:53.080 --> 0:05:58.080 or my aging or anything, I don't owe anyone anything. 0:05:58.080 --> 0:06:00.000 I don't have to tell anyone anything about my life. 0:06:00.040 --> 0:06:02.520 And I think we live in this world, even on 0:06:02.600 --> 0:06:05.000 social media where like people have followers. They may not 0:06:05.040 --> 0:06:07.800 be famous, but they are speaking to an audience. We 0:06:07.960 --> 0:06:11.440 feel like we have to, you know, tell people about 0:06:11.440 --> 0:06:15.000 our lives. Where's Paul or when does Brittan see her dad? 0:06:15.600 --> 0:06:18.400 You know, like, what are they think I'm gonna post 0:06:18.400 --> 0:06:20.880 Brinn and her dad on my social media, Like it's 0:06:20.960 --> 0:06:24.760 my responsibility to let them know what our custody schedule is, 0:06:25.160 --> 0:06:27.320 how much time is how much time does Brin spend 0:06:27.360 --> 0:06:30.360 with her dad? You're out your fucking mind. When's last 0:06:30.360 --> 0:06:32.960 time you fucked your husband? Like you think you're gonna 0:06:32.960 --> 0:06:35.560 come in my social media and say something like that 0:06:35.640 --> 0:06:38.160 to me, I'll do you just blocked, like you said, 0:06:38.160 --> 0:06:40.280 It's like, who the fuck do people think they actually are? 0:06:40.360 --> 0:06:42.640 Like they're gonna come into my social media and like 0:06:43.360 --> 0:06:46.720 say that to me. Someone yesterday was like, I'm distracted 0:06:46.760 --> 0:06:48.839 because of the piece of food on your mouth. I 0:06:48.839 --> 0:06:50.760 had a tiny piece of seaweed, like tiny. I didn't 0:06:50.760 --> 0:06:54.320 even see it. Fuck you. I can have whatever I 0:06:54.360 --> 0:06:56.520 want in my mouth. I can grub chocolate all over 0:06:56.520 --> 0:06:58.080 my face and post a video in my own house 0:06:58.120 --> 0:07:01.320 because I'm a very rare breed of people who post 0:07:01.320 --> 0:07:04.280 on social media what I want to post. I'm making 0:07:04.320 --> 0:07:06.719 an ice cream cake in my kitchen and pajamas, haven't 0:07:06.800 --> 0:07:09.720 washed my hair, and I've been in bed for three days, 0:07:09.880 --> 0:07:11.360 and I have a piece of ice cream or a 0:07:11.360 --> 0:07:13.960 sprinkle on my nose. It's my own fucking prerogative. And 0:07:14.000 --> 0:07:16.040 it's my own body, my own ice cream, my own sprinkle, 0:07:16.040 --> 0:07:20.320 my own post, my own choice. Why don't you boast 0:07:20.360 --> 0:07:25.400 your daughter more on here? What? Like everybody feels entitled 0:07:25.800 --> 0:07:29.080 to everybody else's information. Someone's on television, now this was 0:07:29.160 --> 0:07:31.840 to tell you everything about themselves. Now, when I put 0:07:31.880 --> 0:07:35.760 myself in my ex on a reality show about our relationship, 0:07:36.520 --> 0:07:38.440 you bit damn fucking right. You want to know because 0:07:38.560 --> 0:07:41.000 I dragged you in. I brought you in. I brought 0:07:41.040 --> 0:07:44.280 you to a fairytale wedding. I thought told you everything was, 0:07:44.560 --> 0:07:46.640 you know, perfect. Then it started to unravel, and I 0:07:46.640 --> 0:07:49.680 felt a responsibility to tell you everything was imperfect. I 0:07:49.720 --> 0:07:52.560 didn't even have to do that. I felt some legal 0:07:52.640 --> 0:07:54.560 obligation because I brought you in that I had to 0:07:54.560 --> 0:07:58.800 bring you out. You know, like j Rod are perfect, 0:07:58.800 --> 0:08:00.880 they're perfect. They're perfect, they're perfect. Then they break up 0:08:00.920 --> 0:08:03.720 and they want privacy, and it feels like you brought 0:08:03.800 --> 0:08:06.280 us in, so now you got to take us out. Megan. 0:08:06.320 --> 0:08:08.720 I always bring up Megan Fox because every day they 0:08:08.760 --> 0:08:10.720 were gushing over their love and they were sharing butd 0:08:10.720 --> 0:08:12.120 and they were making out and it was they were 0:08:12.160 --> 0:08:15.800 one person. One day, something happened with infidelity or something happened. 0:08:15.840 --> 0:08:18.960 I don't know if they're together anymore. They went dark. 0:08:19.840 --> 0:08:22.000 They may not even be celebrities anymore. I mean they 0:08:22.160 --> 0:08:24.520 just went into a cave. Something went on with the 0:08:24.520 --> 0:08:29.440 two of them. They went totally dark. And but you know, 0:08:29.520 --> 0:08:33.200 even having a publicist, well you know, and mine's great, like, well, 0:08:33.240 --> 0:08:34.800 you're gonna have to say something. I got like ten 0:08:34.840 --> 0:08:37.800 phone calls today. Okay, so what I don't want to 0:08:37.800 --> 0:08:39.400 talk about brit, I don't want to talk about my 0:08:39.400 --> 0:08:41.839 custody schedule. I don't have to say anything, you know 0:08:41.880 --> 0:08:44.280 what I mean? Like, things go on and you can 0:08:44.360 --> 0:08:47.040 just choose what version of public or private you want 0:08:47.040 --> 0:08:49.240 to be. You don't have to talk about anything, to 0:08:49.240 --> 0:08:51.040 talk about the food on your mouth. You can be 0:08:51.080 --> 0:08:53.800 a private person, even if your public or a social 0:08:53.800 --> 0:08:56.720 media person, or even in your own neighborhood and your 0:08:56.720 --> 0:08:59.000 own cul to sec at your own country club. It's 0:08:59.120 --> 0:09:02.240 very empowering to just like not talk about what you 0:09:02.280 --> 0:09:05.080 don't want to talk about, and have whatever private life 0:09:05.120 --> 0:09:06.559 you want to have, and do what you want to 0:09:06.600 --> 0:09:10.760 do and don't. It's only when you get really hypocritical 0:09:10.800 --> 0:09:13.000 that people get bothered, Like you're asking someone else to 0:09:13.040 --> 0:09:16.600 share their information, or you told everyone it was perfect, 0:09:17.240 --> 0:09:20.120 or you pretended you were perfect. You pretended you were perfect, 0:09:20.200 --> 0:09:22.800 or you pretended you were so kind and so nice 0:09:22.840 --> 0:09:25.080 and so loving and wonderful. Then if you're not kind 0:09:25.120 --> 0:09:27.000 and loving and wonderful, they're gonna fucking come after you. 0:09:27.520 --> 0:09:33.160 It's just interesting what people's expectations are of you, what 0:09:33.440 --> 0:09:38.679 entitlement they have to you, everybody is now public property 0:09:39.240 --> 0:09:43.400 because they're posting about themselves. So where's the line. Another 0:09:43.480 --> 0:09:48.600 interesting thing about becoming desensitized to what's normal. I never 0:09:48.720 --> 0:09:50.760 liked having a crew in my house, And now what 0:09:50.880 --> 0:09:54.160 happens is they set up tape and everything in your house, 0:09:54.320 --> 0:09:56.360 like to stay for part of the season, sometimes because 0:09:56.360 --> 0:09:58.439 they know they're gonna keep shooting or they're gonna be 0:09:58.440 --> 0:10:00.040 in one room a lot, so they just keep the 0:10:00.160 --> 0:10:03.680 set up there. And what happens when they're shooting in 0:10:03.720 --> 0:10:06.520 your house is an entire couple of trucks come and 0:10:06.760 --> 0:10:09.160 the leanst it could ever be if you're a psychopath 0:10:09.200 --> 0:10:14.560 and like you're having like a like a China party 0:10:14.559 --> 0:10:18.040 of crystal and you wanted no extra footprints. The smallest 0:10:18.040 --> 0:10:21.520 they could ever be would be a producer, a sound person, 0:10:22.200 --> 0:10:26.480 two camera people, and like probably like five people. But 0:10:26.559 --> 0:10:28.679 like on a real normal shoot, there could be twelve people, 0:10:28.720 --> 0:10:30.960 like in and out of your house or in your driveway, 0:10:31.080 --> 0:10:33.840 or things get scratched. People are like laying down on 0:10:33.880 --> 0:10:36.400 floors to try to watch on the small screen, like 0:10:36.440 --> 0:10:39.480 inside what they call video village. And I never liked 0:10:39.480 --> 0:10:41.360 it in the beginning. I tolerated it more but in 0:10:41.400 --> 0:10:43.800 the beginning it wasn't as big of an ordeal, Like 0:10:43.840 --> 0:10:45.880 there weren't budgets like there are now. So that I 0:10:45.880 --> 0:10:47.560 mean it's got Beverly Hills. It has to be shot 0:10:47.600 --> 0:10:50.320 like a Coca Cola commercial. Now now you see those 0:10:50.320 --> 0:10:53.720 interviews and they're usually usually done in another studio in 0:10:53.800 --> 0:10:56.400 New York. They are probably on Beverly Hills. They set 0:10:56.440 --> 0:10:58.600 up a room or a green screen in a room 0:10:58.640 --> 0:11:00.280 and a backdrop and you just like go and your 0:11:00.320 --> 0:11:04.400 makeup and there, but like it's a lot in your house. 0:11:04.800 --> 0:11:07.959 And recently I did something on Nightline and there were 0:11:08.040 --> 0:11:13.600 literally two one to two camera people, one sound person 0:11:13.720 --> 0:11:16.240 and two producers on my property. I was like, I 0:11:16.240 --> 0:11:19.400 had hives. They did nothing wrong, they were invited to 0:11:19.440 --> 0:11:22.720 be here. I don't like someone coming into my space 0:11:22.760 --> 0:11:25.959 and I feel totally violated and invaded one of camera 0:11:26.000 --> 0:11:28.199 crew's at my house even though they're here because I 0:11:28.240 --> 0:11:31.360 asked them to be. And it's because I have PTSD 0:11:31.440 --> 0:11:34.280 from housewives for so long, Like my daughter's home and 0:11:34.320 --> 0:11:36.040 like she's growing up in a world, and it was 0:11:36.160 --> 0:11:39.160 so infrequently it maybe happened her whole life. Two three 0:11:39.200 --> 0:11:41.360 times where she walks into the house and there's a 0:11:41.360 --> 0:11:45.040 camera crew everywhere. Like I felt violated for her, Like 0:11:45.080 --> 0:11:46.840 she's trying to walk in and there are people everywhere 0:11:46.880 --> 0:11:48.400 that she doesn't know. She has to do like a 0:11:48.520 --> 0:11:51.559 nice fake smile and be polite, and like everyone's everywhere 0:11:51.559 --> 0:11:53.720 and the dogs are shaking and nervous because it's a 0:11:53.720 --> 0:11:56.520 whole thing, and like I didn't like the way it feel. 0:11:56.600 --> 0:11:59.320 Made me feel bad. It really really did made me 0:11:59.320 --> 0:12:01.680 feel bad. It's just another one of those things you 0:12:01.679 --> 0:12:04.559 guys wouldn't know about shooting a show like The Housewives, 0:12:04.559 --> 0:12:07.520 that you can have twelve people inside your house two 0:12:07.559 --> 0:12:10.240 to three times a week and they're lovely people and 0:12:10.240 --> 0:12:13.280 they're nice, or you were just like not, you just 0:12:13.280 --> 0:12:15.120 had bad news, you're in a bad mood, someone just died, 0:12:15.160 --> 0:12:17.080 you have your period, you had a bad business call, 0:12:17.360 --> 0:12:19.240 and like you've got to be nice to everybody because 0:12:19.240 --> 0:12:21.560 they're in your home and like you know, and and 0:12:21.679 --> 0:12:23.559 they feel bad too. They don't want to intrude any 0:12:23.559 --> 0:12:25.400 more than you want them to intrude. They feel like 0:12:26.240 --> 0:12:28.320 they have to creep around. It's the worst for them. 0:12:28.679 --> 0:12:32.000 It's just a very strange dynamic. And I don't miss that. 0:12:43.640 --> 0:12:46.640 Another thing about housewives is the difference in the relationships 0:12:46.640 --> 0:12:50.040 you'll have with housewives off the show. There's nothing on 0:12:50.080 --> 0:12:52.760 the table. There's no competition, there's nothing charge. There's no 0:12:52.800 --> 0:12:55.800 one who's got andy'sier more than you or the other. 0:12:55.960 --> 0:12:59.520 There's no like avoiding talking about secret topics that only 0:12:59.520 --> 0:13:02.360 people that are on a show can know. There's no 0:13:02.720 --> 0:13:05.600 like what talk you know. You can't talk about the 0:13:05.600 --> 0:13:07.920 money you got or the opportunities you got, or where 0:13:08.200 --> 0:13:10.120 you went or what was sent to you for free, 0:13:10.120 --> 0:13:13.640 because everybody's always like grabbing and competing, and people can 0:13:13.679 --> 0:13:15.800 pretend on different casts. It can be Salidlake, it can 0:13:15.800 --> 0:13:17.800 be Beverly Hills, it can be wherever. And I know 0:13:17.880 --> 0:13:21.160 people on all those shows, and they all will talk 0:13:21.200 --> 0:13:23.960 about what they got with someone else didn't get there 0:13:24.000 --> 0:13:26.160 in the middle. They got to sit next to Andy. 0:13:26.640 --> 0:13:28.560 The others didn't get invited to go on the trip 0:13:28.640 --> 0:13:32.479 to go to another country, only me. Like every housewife 0:13:32.520 --> 0:13:36.160 is the same, every and they all just really are 0:13:36.240 --> 0:13:40.200 in this other constant competition. Even if it's not overt, 0:13:40.280 --> 0:13:43.680 it's subtle. There's something very subtle about it, and it 0:13:43.800 --> 0:13:48.200 goes on with everyone everywhere, and it's all consuming if 0:13:48.240 --> 0:13:50.120 you go out to dinner with multiple people from the 0:13:50.120 --> 0:13:53.760 housewives sphere or the reality TV like that sphere, it's 0:13:54.480 --> 0:13:57.200 eighty percent of what's talked about. It's just too tempting, 0:13:58.040 --> 0:14:02.240 and everybody who's talking obviously the other person. It happened 0:14:02.280 --> 0:14:04.280 at our big dinner in LA There was a housewife 0:14:04.280 --> 0:14:07.640 there and she was talking about plot lines going on, 0:14:07.720 --> 0:14:09.760 and Jenny Garth was sitting there and had no idea 0:14:09.840 --> 0:14:11.840 what she was talking about. I didn't know what she 0:14:11.880 --> 0:14:15.360 was talking about, but she was in the bubble, so 0:14:15.400 --> 0:14:17.600 she thought that we all knew what she was talking about. 0:14:17.679 --> 0:14:21.280 No one knew what she was talking about. Literally, no 0:14:21.280 --> 0:14:22.880 one knew what she was talking about. And she was 0:14:22.880 --> 0:14:24.840 going on for a while like a housewife way of 0:14:24.880 --> 0:14:26.880 like no, and it's ridiculous because I did that, and 0:14:26.880 --> 0:14:28.640 they did that, and that's what's going to happen. And 0:14:28.680 --> 0:14:30.760 I said this, and I was just like, you were 0:14:30.800 --> 0:14:34.480 talking another language. It's a world unto itself. It's like, 0:14:34.880 --> 0:14:38.720 it's strange that everyone in that environment cult like environment 0:14:38.840 --> 0:14:41.280 thinks that everyone else knows what's going on with them.