Speaker 1: All right, break it down. If you ever have feelings
Speaker 1: that you just fons Amy and Cat gotcha, Cob and
Speaker 1: locking no brother ladies and fels do you just follow
Speaker 1: Ann the spirit where it's all the real stuff to
Speaker 1: the chill stuff and the m but Swayne, sometimes the
Speaker 1: best thing you can do it just stop you feel things.
Speaker 2: This is Feeling Things with Amy and Kat.
Speaker 3: Have you Tuesday Feeling Things? Formerly? I wanted to say
Speaker 3: formerly four Things with Amy Brown because someone someone might
Speaker 3: be tuning in right now and they're like, which tuning in?
Speaker 3: Is that totally a radio thing, like tuning into the
Speaker 3: dialtive But someone might be streaming us, downloading us at
Speaker 3: the moment and listening and they're like, wait, what is
Speaker 3: feeling things? Because I'm just trying to listen to four
Speaker 3: Things with Amy Brown. But welcome to Feeling Things, which
Speaker 3: is formally four Things with Amy Brown. I'm Amy, I'm Kat,
Speaker 3: and today's episode one of Feeling Things. But it's episode
Speaker 3: six hundred and fifty. If we were still four things,
Speaker 3: that's crazy, so we could look at it that way,
Speaker 3: which I don't know how we're really going to count
Speaker 3: it because it's on the same feed and we have
Speaker 3: somewhere between. I thought it was twenty five million, but
Speaker 3: I got an update from our PR person because she
Speaker 3: was putting together a press release, and it said nearly
Speaker 3: twenty seven million downloads. But if you're listening right now,
Speaker 3: and this is episode one of Feeling Things, and someone's
Speaker 3: actually listening, then we have one download and counting. So
Speaker 3: we're just excited that you're here. And if you have time,
Speaker 3: or when you have time, if you can subscribe, follow
Speaker 3: leave a review. That is very helpful, especially during this transition,
Speaker 3: this makeover, this rebrand, and we're going to get into
Speaker 3: a lot of different things today. One thing specifically that
Speaker 3: is by request by Cat, which is about con artist,
Speaker 3: but it's mostly because you think I'm getting conned.
Speaker 2: By your face fitness person. Right, We're going to go
Speaker 2: through a checklist and see it could be true.
Speaker 3: I paid money officially thirty days ago.
Speaker 2: And are you getting something out of it? Well, we'll go,
Speaker 2: we'll get into it.
Speaker 3: We get when we go we get a con artist checklist.
Speaker 3: I'll tell you kind of an email I got today
Speaker 3: from them and I was like, oh, perfect timing. We're
Speaker 3: also going to go over core emotions, and today will
Speaker 3: be part one because Kat's the therapist here, so she
Speaker 3: knows the basics. Did you learn the eight core emotions
Speaker 3: in school or no?
Speaker 2: Because there's not like an actual one eight feelings, eight emotions.
Speaker 2: If you look on the internet, you're going to get
Speaker 2: allion different answers. But there's a couple places that I've found,
Speaker 2: well I use what works for me that it splits
Speaker 2: them up into eight and then there's like sub sections,
Speaker 2: so we're going to go through all of those.
Speaker 3: So eight core emotions coming up, and it may seem
Speaker 3: a little bit basic, but what's cool about our emotions?
Speaker 3: Which we're going to cover the first four today and
Speaker 3: then next Tuesday we'll do the other four. But feelings
Speaker 3: can be a gift or they can be an impairment.
Speaker 3: And so you might be like, oh, I don't need
Speaker 3: to know the core feelings or I already know them.
Speaker 3: Of course I've heard those before, but you may not
Speaker 3: know the gift that they give you, and you may
Speaker 3: not know the impairment that they give you. So that's
Speaker 3: really what we're going to be going over.
Speaker 2: Which that I feel like when you learn that, you're
Speaker 2: more apt to actually feel the uncomfortable stuff because you
Speaker 2: know that there's a gift in it, and sometimes it
Speaker 2: just feels like, oh the sucks, you know.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I mean, and I want the gifts, like I'm
Speaker 3: going to chase the gifts, like now that I know
Speaker 3: there's gifts, like at the end of the tunnel, yeah,
Speaker 3: I'm gonna be like, Okay, let's just feel this faster.
Speaker 2: Like last week when you hurt me, that gave me a.
Speaker 3: Gift, well, I didn't know that I felt hurt. I
Speaker 3: felt hurt right, and then you were able to share
Speaker 3: that with me, and hurt is one of the first
Speaker 3: four that we're going to go over today. So we'll
Speaker 3: share that story. And I learned something too in that
Speaker 3: the faster you speak about it, the quicker it gets
Speaker 3: resolved deep I mean, quote me, quote me, which obviously
Speaker 3: that is exactly what happens. But so many times we
Speaker 3: put things off or we don't want to bring it
Speaker 3: up because we don't want to be a burden, or
Speaker 3: we don't want to seem silly, or it's like, oh
Speaker 3: is it us, which there was some of it going
Speaker 3: on with you, and you were willing to address that
Speaker 3: one on one with your therapist, which I can respect.
Speaker 2: I wanted to make sure that it wasn't just my
Speaker 2: stuff coming up before I brought it up to you,
Speaker 2: but then we brought it up pretty quickly.
Speaker 3: Well, you didn't even need to bring it up to
Speaker 3: me because I brought it up to Yeah, we're giving
Speaker 3: away the whole story, Okay, we'll do it when we
Speaker 3: get into Hurt, and I do have a little side
Speaker 3: story about my daughter, Sashira. She's seventeen. And you know,
Speaker 3: we're starting to build like these segments, Like in a second,
Speaker 3: we'll do the feeling of the day, so every Tuesday episode,
Speaker 3: people will get a new feeling of the day that
Speaker 3: we're going to focus on and talk about in today's word.
Speaker 3: Like I never really thought about how that was an
Speaker 3: actual feeling. I mean, i know I've used it like
Speaker 3: I feel, but I'm like, wait, that's a feeling, like
Speaker 3: where's the gift? So we'll go over that kind of second.
Speaker 3: But as we were building out, like you know, things
Speaker 3: we want to have, like in radio, we call them benchmarks,
Speaker 3: so core things, when you tune in, you're gonna get it.
Speaker 3: Like when Kat and I were doing the Fifth Thing,
Speaker 3: the bonus episode for the Fourth Things podcast, we had
Speaker 3: a quote every episode. So now on the Tuesday episodes,
Speaker 3: you're gonna get a feeling of the day. And so
Speaker 3: I was going over some of that was to share,
Speaker 3: and she goes, can I have a segment on the podcast?
Speaker 3: And I was like, what would your segment be? And
Speaker 3: she goes, oh, I can talk about all kinds of things,
Speaker 3: but I really like to discuss about that time that
Speaker 3: you thought you knew.
Speaker 2: That guy and you.
Speaker 3: Were hanging out with that guy all the time, and
Speaker 3: I knew all along, Like I knew right away this
Speaker 3: is something's off, something's off, and how mom's gonna fall
Speaker 3: for anything.
Speaker 2: And I was like, oh, just to share it, that'd
Speaker 2: be a good segment.
Speaker 3: Well, I said, well, lucky for her, you're going over
Speaker 3: a con artist checklist. This will apply to anything, whether
Speaker 3: it's you know something you've signed up for, dating, a
Speaker 3: work relationship. You can spot the con artists with the list.
Speaker 3: But she really was easy. She knew to come on
Speaker 3: and make a segment. Oh, she knew, and we talked
Speaker 3: about it whenever I was severing that relationship, which is
Speaker 3: a little backstory on that and I am not going
Speaker 3: to get into the whole thing because I had to
Speaker 3: shut it down and like to share that's not going
Speaker 3: to be a segment. But I was spending time with
Speaker 3: this one particular person and it turned out not to
Speaker 3: be a healthy situation.
Speaker 2: It's a good way to put it.
Speaker 3: And she was sixteen at the time, and she knew it,
Speaker 3: like she knew right away. She was, Oh, mom, I
Speaker 3: kinda told you that from why didn't the beginning?
Speaker 2: I know, she's she's an adult, she can make an
Speaker 2: own decision.
Speaker 3: She's like, I'm good at sniffing people out and figuring
Speaker 3: out those details. So she wanted to come on and
Speaker 3: share her thoughts about that. However, out of respect for
Speaker 3: other people involved, Like, I don't think it'd be fair
Speaker 3: for me to tell that entire story. Yeah, maybe I'll
Speaker 3: feel differently in like a year.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's too close right now. And it's also one
Speaker 2: of those things that the further away from it, the
Speaker 2: funnier it gets, you know. Yes, Oh wait another year,
Speaker 2: so I'll be even more funny.
Speaker 3: I was thinking about that the other day. It's like, God,
Speaker 3: how quickly our lives turn, because now I'm in a
Speaker 3: completely different type of relationship, completely different type of person,
Speaker 3: you know, like he's employed, it's a car stuff like that. Okay, okay,
Speaker 3: feeling of the day, you ready for it? I'm ready. Okay,
Speaker 3: we don't have any like fun. The feeling of the day.
Speaker 2: Like a little extra song. Here is the feeling of
Speaker 2: the day.
Speaker 3: Okay, cat cat nailed it. Which, by the way, when
Speaker 3: I get into the feeling of the day, which is ugly,
Speaker 3: ugly is the feeling of the day. But Cat got
Speaker 3: to my house and I was running a little behind
Speaker 3: getting ready because I am drawing on my eyebrows right
Speaker 3: now because I had them lasered off and now they're red.
Speaker 3: The undertone is red like they're burnt off, like I
Speaker 3: have a little bit of hair. But then underneath where
Speaker 3: the microbladed, it's like a tattoo was lasered off and
Speaker 3: the red part is left. So the red part is
Speaker 3: going to get removed in like seven weeks.
Speaker 2: But it oh be red for seven weeks. Yeah, okay,
Speaker 2: And it's red well right now. Doesn't look bad because.
Speaker 3: I put a layer of foundation over my brows and
Speaker 3: then I put powder, and then I put a little
Speaker 3: bronzer or something to give it a little sign of
Speaker 3: color because my foundation's a little pale. Probably need to
Speaker 3: upgrade that. And then I drew on my new brows. Well,
Speaker 3: I drew them on the first time and they were
Speaker 3: a little wonky, So then what do you do? I
Speaker 3: have to start over.
Speaker 2: So did you watch a tutorial.
Speaker 3: No, it took me a minute to figure out this concoction.
Speaker 3: Like I just kind of thought, well, I'm gonna draw
Speaker 3: over the red and then I realized if I wipe
Speaker 3: them out basically, and then I give myself more of
Speaker 3: a blank canvas.
Speaker 2: But that's what a lot of people that I see
Speaker 2: on TikTok, that's what they do. And they have eyebrows,
Speaker 2: but they put foundation completely over them and make it
Speaker 2: look like they are bald, and then they start anew
Speaker 2: and they make their eyebrows look how they want ahead
Speaker 2: of the Well, some people just do this anyway, so
Speaker 2: maybe you're just on the makeup trends. Also, I think
Speaker 2: you need to shout out the lift and snatch because
Speaker 2: you're still using it and I cannot I can't describe
Speaker 2: how real they look. My strokes, Your strokes, Your strokes
Speaker 2: are good. Yeah, it's a The brand is in y
Speaker 2: X Nicks. Is it called Nicks or in my ex
Speaker 2: I have no idea. I don't know because I think
Speaker 2: I always read that as NYC in my head.
Speaker 3: Okay, well it's even though it's an x Nicks. Yeah,
Speaker 3: and lift and snatch is the brow like a pin
Speaker 3: and it creates these lifelike strokes. But you got to
Speaker 3: have a steady hand because so when I first started,
Speaker 3: I was a little nervous, shaky, But now I've gotten
Speaker 3: to where I'm like, yeah, you know, so, yeah, maybe
Speaker 3: I have maybe there's a future for me.
Speaker 2: And is that why the feeling of the day ugly? Yeah?
Speaker 3: Well, you know, we have our emotional barometer box and
Speaker 3: I was just flipping through some of them. When I
Speaker 3: came across ugly. I resonated and I was like, Okay,
Speaker 3: we're going to do this. So I dedicate this feeling
Speaker 3: of the day to my brows. Feeling ugly isn't about looks.
Speaker 3: It's about how we see ourselves when we're down. Our
Speaker 3: mood distorts our reflection, making us focus on flaws that
Speaker 3: aren't really there. Even the most beautiful people feel this
Speaker 3: way when that happens. We don't need a makeover. We
Speaker 3: need kindness, love and perspective. And if we can't find
Speaker 3: that in ourselves, we can borrow it from someone who
Speaker 3: sees us clearly.
Speaker 2: I love that you picked this. I think I've never
Speaker 2: seen these cards, so I never have read that and
Speaker 2: have looked at ugly as an actual emotion. But I
Speaker 2: do talk about, because I specialize in body image and
Speaker 2: eating disorders, is that when people see themselves in a mirror,
Speaker 2: they don't see what they look like, they see how
Speaker 2: they're feeling. So I love this, And a lot of
Speaker 2: times when we look in the mirror, we were like, Oh,
Speaker 2: I need to lose weight, or I need to dye
Speaker 2: my hair, or I need a new wardrobe, when really
Speaker 2: it's what you're saying, it's I need to go do
Speaker 2: something nice for myself, and if I come back in
Speaker 2: like an hour, I might see something different. Yeah, it's crazy.
Speaker 3: Try the dopamine dressing, Like, Yeah, instead of trying to
Speaker 3: force some outfit to make yourself fit into, like a
Speaker 3: trend or whatever's happening, or a color you thought you
Speaker 3: wanted to wear, Like, go to your closet and get
Speaker 3: a go to outfit that you know you feel good
Speaker 3: in and put that on and then go in the
Speaker 3: mirror and do what do they call it? The the
Speaker 3: super woman pose? You're talking about where you stand in
Speaker 3: the mirror.
Speaker 2: What is that called power?
Speaker 3: Post power post superwoman power?
Speaker 2: I like superwoman better power.
Speaker 3: Sometimes I when I'm doing my meditation.
Speaker 2: Sums up yourself. You know how some people.
Speaker 3: Sit well, and a lot of times I do. But
Speaker 3: I sit calmly with my palms up if I'm wanting
Speaker 3: to receive, and palms down if I'm wanting to feel grounded.
Speaker 3: And then other times I just stick my thumb straight
Speaker 3: in the air with my eyes closed. But I put
Speaker 3: my arms out really straight, and I'm trying to channel
Speaker 3: my thumbs out into the It's like a little antenna.
Speaker 2: I thought you were trying to like give yourself a
Speaker 2: thumbs up.
Speaker 3: No, oh, I don't try to receive the where I
Speaker 3: got the waves, But sometimes I do. I do it,
Speaker 3: and I think that that's my body saying like I
Speaker 3: need it, like I don't have it in me today,
Speaker 3: so like Lord, give it to me, Lord give it
Speaker 3: to me, you know, fill me up, give me the energy.
Speaker 3: And I picture it going like I have a visualization
Speaker 3: of it going like through my thumb all the way
Speaker 3: down my arm into my body.
Speaker 2: I kind of did you learn that or you just.
Speaker 3: I don't know where I learned it. I certainly didn't come.
Speaker 3: I mean, I don't know if it was over time
Speaker 3: in different meditations that I've done, if maybe you're random
Speaker 3: one on YouTube someone's like, now stick your thumbs in
Speaker 3: the air and.
Speaker 2: You're like, okay, I'll do anything.
Speaker 3: I mean, I definitely didn't call it an antenna or
Speaker 3: who knows. It could have been a yoga class at
Speaker 3: one point. Which part of this podcast flipping over from
Speaker 3: Four Things to Feeling Things is just the evolution of
Speaker 3: where we are and the direction my life is going.
Speaker 3: Meeting you, having you as now a full time host
Speaker 3: with me, and kind of what we want to share
Speaker 3: with others and come alongside people in their journey of
Speaker 3: growing and therapy and whatnot. And Kat had a podcast
Speaker 3: called You Need Therapy, and she has set that aside
Speaker 3: and now here with us. So this is going to
Speaker 3: be like a mixture of what we were doing on
Speaker 3: Four Things and You Need Therapy and you'll see it.
Speaker 3: That's the plan now, but we may continue to evolve.
Speaker 3: But speaking of evolution, I was thinking back when I
Speaker 3: first started doing yoga, way way way, way way back
Speaker 3: in the day in Austin. I went too this one
Speaker 3: class where they had gongs and they were laying there
Speaker 3: and then they served this little tea afterwards, and I'm like,
Speaker 3: I couldn't get the heck out of there fast enough.
Speaker 3: But that was your first experience, yeah, because it was
Speaker 3: this yoga studio sort of close to my mom's house.
Speaker 3: So I decided to go, and I was terrified, like
Speaker 3: I thought they had a gong. I remember even going
Speaker 3: on the Bobby buoncher the next day and I'm like,
Speaker 3: I don't know where I went, guys, but it was crazy,
Speaker 3: like we were laying down and then we kind of
Speaker 3: doing and unison. Yeah, we did a flow practice, but
Speaker 3: then between the gong and the kool aid at the end,
Speaker 3: you can't go right. But that's what it felt to me.
Speaker 3: And now I'd be like, sign me up, Like where
Speaker 3: is this classic?
Speaker 2: Nobody uses gongs anymore.
Speaker 3: I'm like, I want to breathe in unison? Yeah, are
Speaker 3: we gonna chant?
Speaker 2: Because it probably felt very different. So You're like, this
Speaker 2: is weird. I gotta get out. And now you've You've
Speaker 2: embraced so many different things.
Speaker 3: So now I've evolved to where I stick my thumbs
Speaker 3: in the air and channel the energy. I've also evolved
Speaker 3: to where I'm doing face fitness in lua botox.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 3: I think the last time I got injected was six
Speaker 3: six months ago.
Speaker 2: Yeah, six months sober.
Speaker 3: Six months clean from botox. I may go back to it.
Speaker 3: I'm not antiet at all, Like if somebody wants to
Speaker 3: get it, but for me, I wanted to know my
Speaker 3: new baseline. And so for the last three months, so
Speaker 3: January February March, I'm doing face fitness. The first two
Speaker 3: months I was doing free things on YouTube. The month
Speaker 3: of March I was doing.
Speaker 2: A paid course. You dove right in.
Speaker 3: And Kat thinks that I'm being conned.
Speaker 2: Yeah, So we're going to go over a list of
Speaker 2: things that might indicate that you're being conned by somebody,
Speaker 2: and then we're going to keep your tally and based
Speaker 2: on your score, we're gonna vote. I'm gonna vote if
Speaker 2: you're my scam score, your scam score, we'll see if
Speaker 2: you got conned or not. But before we do that,
Speaker 2: I do want to say I don't know if I've
Speaker 2: said this before, but you doing the no botox is
Speaker 2: a big deal. I feel like because you've and I
Speaker 2: mean I'll pat myself on the back too because I'm
Speaker 2: doing it. Too, But I have been getting botox for
Speaker 2: a couple of years, and you get used to your
Speaker 2: face looking a certain way, and so stopping doing that
Speaker 2: it is like you have to get used to that again.
Speaker 2: So I think it's a big deal that you're attempting this.
Speaker 2: Even if you go back to it, it's just, hey,
Speaker 2: I want to make sure that this is something I
Speaker 2: still want to.
Speaker 3: Do, which I'll touch on the fact that the reason
Speaker 3: why I decided to get my brows lasered off, my
Speaker 3: micro bladed brows is because I stopped the botox and
Speaker 3: my forehead changed. So you happen to be listening for
Speaker 3: the first day. I've talked about this in previous episodes,
Speaker 3: but I'll just give you that tiny bit of information
Speaker 3: because you might be like, why would you get your
Speaker 3: brows micro bladed and then have them lasered off. Well,
Speaker 3: nobody tells you. Nobody tells you when you go get
Speaker 3: a microbladed with botox that then when your forehead starts
Speaker 3: to shift because it's not frozen anymore, your brows can
Speaker 3: be wonky. And so that was happening to me. So
Speaker 3: I was like, I need a fresh start.
Speaker 2: So thank you for spreading awareness. To that because people
Speaker 2: might be like, oh, I'm going to stop this too,
Speaker 2: and then they're like oh no now.
Speaker 3: But it may not. Everybody's foreheads different.
Speaker 2: I don't depending on where your wrinkles are, because I
Speaker 2: mine didn't move because I my it was my eleven
Speaker 2: wasn't as as now pronounced.
Speaker 3: I can give you an exercise for that.
Speaker 2: Okay, great, did you get that from your front?
Speaker 3: So you take this hook and then you press like
Speaker 3: but you build it real good and you can even
Speaker 3: do a vibrating sensation and then you go all.
Speaker 2: The way up.
Speaker 3: But you've got to really get deep into the muscle,
Speaker 3: deep into.
Speaker 2: The So before we go into this list, can you
Speaker 2: tell me where you found this person? Did she have
Speaker 2: like a credential or TikTok? Got it?
Speaker 3: Yeah? I think she has uh sort of training in anatomy,
Speaker 3: in kinesiology. I don't know where she received her letters,
Speaker 3: but you know, like she has a certificate.
Speaker 2: I'm sure, Okay, I haven't seen it. Okay, before we
Speaker 2: get into this, let's between a certificate and a degree.
Speaker 3: But she also has one of these cute little skeletons
Speaker 3: and she knows all.
Speaker 2: Of the the bone, like she'll.
Speaker 3: Be like your muscle and I'm like, oh. And then
Speaker 3: my friend Claire was telling her the other day. I
Speaker 3: was like, you want to massage this? And then Claire
Speaker 3: said that. She goes, oh, the Claire is a I
Speaker 3: know she has degrees. But what I'm saying is Claire
Speaker 3: said it, and it's the exact thing. She confirmed it,
Speaker 3: which I don't know what. The reason why I don't
Speaker 3: know exactly how to say it is because she's.
Speaker 2: Foreign, so you can say in the foreign language Claire.
Speaker 3: Claire said it and it sounded similar, and I'm like,
Speaker 3: that's it. So yeah, she has an accent and her
Speaker 3: English isn't great, so sometimes she's like, you know what's
Speaker 3: this called? She's like, oh, your teeth or or you
Speaker 3: know what's that You need to get a pull your
Speaker 3: hair back with a hairband, stuff like that.
Speaker 2: So it's in English. Yes, okay, yes, okay, yes.
Speaker 3: Because when I was doing some free YouTube, I was
Speaker 3: having to read the subtitle trends to know what to do,
Speaker 3: which was a lot of work because I was like
Speaker 3: trying to like massage my face and read. I just
Speaker 3: want to be told. So she has who knows, maybe
Speaker 3: she has a million something on TikTok, she has over
Speaker 3: a million on Instagram, she's on YouTube with millions of views,
Speaker 3: and then she has a course. Okay, so the course
Speaker 3: is what I signed up for, so con artists checklist.
Speaker 2: Let's go through it. And I have a affinity for
Speaker 2: this type of stuff. As you know, I'm very skeptical
Speaker 2: of everybody of everybody. But I learned that the hard
Speaker 2: way though, because I wanted to trust everybody, and then
Speaker 2: I got really into things and I'm like, oh my gosh,
Speaker 2: they're lying. And I will say I got a certificate
Speaker 2: for something back in the day, and as I'm getting
Speaker 2: the certificate, I was like, I could do this with
Speaker 2: my eyes closed. So I kind of learned that you
Speaker 2: have to be aware of what certificate somebody has, you know,
Speaker 2: because I didn't learn anything in that course, and I
Speaker 2: could have been doing all kinds of things. Okay.
Speaker 3: AnyWho, Yeah, I'll trust just about anybody. So which is
Speaker 3: I mean.
Speaker 2: I'm not better that You're not worse, it's just different.
Speaker 3: No, I mean I feel like you're probably missing out
Speaker 3: on a lot, which is back to Stashira's segment idea
Speaker 3: that she wanted where she's like mama fall for anything.
Speaker 2: Probably a lot. Okay, Well, let's go through. This is
Speaker 2: just a little checklist of things that might signify that
Speaker 2: somebody is conning you or manipulating you.
Speaker 3: Okay.
Speaker 2: So I'm going to read them, and you're going to
Speaker 2: tell me yes or notice is fit? And so like,
Speaker 2: maybe why I'm going to read them and you're going
Speaker 2: to tell me yes or notice is fit? Okay, And
Speaker 2: so like maybe why does it seem too good to
Speaker 2: be true? Yes?
Speaker 3: Because well, I mean, now that I think about it,
Speaker 3: but I think that I'm like, wow, you can really
Speaker 3: achieve these results by just massaging your face every day?
Speaker 3: Like I guess at the end of the day, it
Speaker 3: does seem too good to be true.
Speaker 2: Like she's over promising, but it still could be possible. Okay.
Speaker 2: So it's not crazy. It's not like we'll make you
Speaker 2: look like you're seven. It's like we can make you
Speaker 2: look like you have botox by just these three simple Right.
Speaker 3: This is where I struggle because I have my I
Speaker 3: want to give this a go, and I'm trying anything
Speaker 3: brain and like, I think it's possible, but also could
Speaker 3: it be too good to be true?
Speaker 2: Yes?
Speaker 3: So I'm just answering, honestly, okay, like at the end
Speaker 3: of the day, yes, okay, okay.
Speaker 2: Are they promising guaranteed results with no risk?
Speaker 3: No, they're not promising guaranteed results. Everybody's a different starting stage,
Speaker 3: is she said, in different ages?
Speaker 2: And okay? Do they make you feel like you're broken
Speaker 2: or incomplete without using their thing that they're selling on
Speaker 2: the method? No? Okay?
Speaker 3: Am I not getting called? So far?
Speaker 2: You're doing pretty good. Is there a sense of urgent
Speaker 2: see or pressure to buy now or you're going to
Speaker 2: miss out on something? Yes? Okay, what's that? Yes? She
Speaker 2: said that it was sold out and you were got
Speaker 2: on a wait list and then all of a sudden
Speaker 2: you're in the file.
Speaker 3: And then I got an email and it's like, oh,
Speaker 3: a spot opened up. It's all virtual, by the way,
Speaker 3: I don't know why it would fill up, you know
Speaker 3: what I mean?
Speaker 2: Wait?
Speaker 3: So, yeah, it's true, I know. But you know, maybe
Speaker 3: she good sales tectic.
Speaker 2: Maybe she is.
Speaker 3: Making sure that her inbox doesn't get overloaded with questions
Speaker 3: from her current students.
Speaker 2: That probably is what it was. Yeah, that could be it.
Speaker 3: But yes, there was definitely an urgency like get it now,
Speaker 3: and then the price slash.
Speaker 2: Did you buy it before the price slashed.
Speaker 3: Yes, but when you go no, no, no, sorry, I
Speaker 3: bought it with.
Speaker 2: The price slash, but it's like it was ever that
Speaker 2: much money? Exactly?
Speaker 3: Yeah, because I don't know, I because I never saw
Speaker 3: that page. But once I had access to the page
Speaker 3: because she had to send you a special link because
Speaker 3: now I'm special. So then I clicked on the link
Speaker 3: and it's said, you know, like nine hundred dollars, and
Speaker 3: then it had a big line through it and it
Speaker 3: was like, now only one hundred and ninety nine dollars.
Speaker 3: What a deal?
Speaker 2: Like I just saved seven hundred dollars.
Speaker 3: Wow, I was on a wait list. I made it
Speaker 3: in and now I got the special link and the
Speaker 3: special links the price is slashed. So yeah.
Speaker 2: That reminds me of infomercials growing up, when they're like
Speaker 2: call the next five minutes and you can get this
Speaker 2: for like four ninety nine, and then you go to
Speaker 2: the grocery store and they're selling that same thing for
Speaker 2: that same price. It's like just to get you to
Speaker 2: buy it right then, smart business.
Speaker 3: Whenever I think of an infomercial, did you ever see
Speaker 3: that one way back in the day with that guy
Speaker 3: that had the nut chopper, and then he would be
Speaker 3: chopping the nuts and be late at night. My mom
Speaker 3: and I don't know what we'd be watching late at night,
Speaker 3: but he would always come on and it'd be like, oh, yeah,
Speaker 3: my mom loved to buy stuff like that.
Speaker 2: This is your mom.
Speaker 3: Yeah, and he'd be like, you're gonna love my nuts
Speaker 3: and even be chopping it.
Speaker 2: And this is also a perfect example of how you
Speaker 2: learn things from your environment, and so you are a
Speaker 2: product of your environment. Right now, we don't have infomercials.
Speaker 2: We have TikTok scammers. Okay, do they call themselves things
Speaker 2: like face healer or ageous oracle or just do they
Speaker 2: call themselves any kind of like self proclaimed guru.
Speaker 3: No, but she definitely says that other methods, like if
Speaker 3: you're doing it this way, you're doing it wrong. But
Speaker 3: then I've seen other people say this is how I
Speaker 3: do it. So, but she doesn't have like a special
Speaker 3: guru name. But does she have like what are her
Speaker 3: like credentials? I don't know. Okay, I just know what's
Speaker 3: in her Instagram bio and I don't know that that's even.
Speaker 2: Well, so this is this goes to those I don't
Speaker 2: know if she's real.
Speaker 3: Honestly, sometimes I'm like, is this AAI?
Speaker 2: I think what gets a lot of people now is
Speaker 2: anybody can call themselves any kind of like hell balistic
Speaker 2: coach or this type of heal or this whatever, and
Speaker 2: it sounds really fancy, but it's also something they just
Speaker 2: made up, Like I could you could call yourself anything.
Speaker 2: I could call myself anything and it could sound really good,
Speaker 2: versus somebody who's really doing that's probably just like an esthetician,
Speaker 2: you know. Yeah, Okay. Are they constantly posting testimonials that
Speaker 2: sound a little too dramatic?
Speaker 3: Yeah, I mean some of the results are pretty dramatic.
Speaker 3: So I feel like they either they cherry pick like
Speaker 3: this was a good success story someone to highlight this,
Speaker 3: or it's being photoshopped or something maybe I don't know, yeah.
Speaker 2: Or it's AI the whole thing.
Speaker 3: Well, no other people have joined because I see them.
Speaker 3: I think I have a.
Speaker 2: Whole group of friends in my face fitness Facebook grouping. Okay.
Speaker 2: Are they avoiding transparency about what actually is involved?
Speaker 3: No, like you have to, They're pretty transparent. However, I
Speaker 3: don't know how they have the time and the day,
Speaker 3: like what I has been required of me the last
Speaker 3: thirty days. We don't have this time.
Speaker 2: I thought I was just seven, like seven minutes a day.
Speaker 3: No, the lesson is thirty minutes ish, she said. She
Speaker 3: tries to keep the lessons at twenty, but they always
Speaker 3: go over. So let's just call it what it is.
Speaker 3: They're thirty then, but before you start the thirty minute
Speaker 3: you have to do a two minute lymphatic drainage exercise
Speaker 3: which opens up your limbs. And so that's two minutes.
Speaker 3: So now we're at thirty two. Then if you want
Speaker 3: good results, she highly recommends the bonus exercises after that.
Speaker 3: And so I'm like, this is every day. I used
Speaker 3: to do this on top of you know, go on
Speaker 3: a walk in the forest with the trees.
Speaker 2: Is that part of it now?
Speaker 3: Like, that's just another thing that I like to do
Speaker 3: because I want to be with nature and I want
Speaker 3: to have that hit of dope.
Speaker 2: Can you do your drainage while you're on your walk?
Speaker 3: Yeah, but you want to do your drainage right before
Speaker 3: you do your face fitness?
Speaker 2: Okay? Do they discourage you from doing other things that
Speaker 2: could help?
Speaker 3: I haven't caught on to that yet. If she has,
Speaker 3: I don't. I don't think she said, like, don't do
Speaker 3: now she says, like, if you want to do washer,
Speaker 3: if you want to put the oil on, she goes,
Speaker 3: but I don't think you need any of that. But
Speaker 3: a lot of people are like, oh, I love the
Speaker 3: oil and the quasha. But she she's like, there's a
Speaker 3: time and a place for.
Speaker 2: That, okay. And then are they trying to become like
Speaker 2: your go to person like for that? So it could
Speaker 2: be like your friend, it could be like your like
Speaker 2: mentor your are they trying to become something?
Speaker 3: I mean, I guess sometimes when she says stuff like
Speaker 3: that of like, okay, if you want to do that,
Speaker 3: but you know, like that's not good. You need to
Speaker 3: do what I'm doing.
Speaker 2: So and then I also want to add, this is online,
Speaker 2: but if you wanted to like meet this person in person.
Speaker 3: I don't know where. I don't even know where in
Speaker 3: the world she is, Like where, like, yeah, where in
Speaker 3: the world does she reside? I think I saw something
Speaker 3: the other day on TikTok about Miami. But then you know,
Speaker 3: TikTok's weird, Like I couldn't figure out that video because
Speaker 3: I don't even think it was herd that posted it.
Speaker 3: You know, people repost other people's things, so I don't know.
Speaker 2: Okay, so your test is done and I'm going to
Speaker 2: be honest. You might not be getting scammed.
Speaker 3: WHOA, okay, Okay, well then I'm just getting scammed on
Speaker 3: time because I just completed the thirty days and we
Speaker 3: get an email this morning like congratulations, you completed the
Speaker 3: thirty days, and now for the next thirty days.
Speaker 2: She wants you to sign up for someone else.
Speaker 3: No, this is included. Oh, this is included a gift
Speaker 3: from her.
Speaker 2: She's giving you a gift.
Speaker 3: The gift is for the next thirty days. Repeat it
Speaker 3: the entire thing from day one to day three, because
Speaker 3: now your hands are stronger, you know the techniques, so
Speaker 3: you can do it better. And I'm like, wait a second, wait,
Speaker 3: I have to do it again.
Speaker 2: Well, you're gonna have to do it for the rest
Speaker 2: of it.
Speaker 3: There's my certificate. I just don't in my thirty days
Speaker 3: like I want to.
Speaker 2: You should be going to teach it now.
Speaker 3: Yeah, but she said, we won't graduate until we do
Speaker 3: it again. Oh and then maybe our body will be ready.
Speaker 3: And what I have learned. Let me tell you, kat
Speaker 3: Let me let me tell you a lot of our
Speaker 3: wrinkles and what we're dealing with or sagging things in
Speaker 3: the front part of our skull, which would be our face.
Speaker 3: That's what we see, right. We have the part we
Speaker 3: don't see, which is the back of our school where
Speaker 3: our school meets our neck, the top of our our neck,
Speaker 3: our shoulders. We spend more time massaging our trapezes, our
Speaker 3: skylt like all these things that you don't see. We
Speaker 3: spend so much time. And that's why she said, your
Speaker 3: hands are stronger because some of the massages you really
Speaker 3: have to get in there, and like your biceps tired,
Speaker 3: and like your arms are up. We do all these,
Speaker 3: like other things in these stretches, and sometimes a thirty
Speaker 3: minute workout we won't even have touched our face. And
Speaker 3: then I feel like that's a waste, but she says
Speaker 3: it's not, because everything is playing a part and we
Speaker 3: can see that. It's when we're relaxed back here, this
Speaker 3: falls into place. When we're tight here, this SAgs.
Speaker 2: I could see that.
Speaker 3: So I'm not getting scamped.
Speaker 2: Well you're not.
Speaker 3: You're on board.
Speaker 2: I could be.
Speaker 3: I will send you the thirty days for just.
Speaker 2: One hundred dollars.
Speaker 3: I'll give you a deal.
Speaker 2: Ninety nine, I get a special link. Yes. Yes. I
Speaker 2: also think that you kind of reverse your answer on
Speaker 2: some of these things, like you said it she hasn't promised.
Speaker 2: Does it seem too good to be true? And then
Speaker 2: you said that she is making you do a double
Speaker 2: thirty days. Yeah, like she's making it seem like it's
Speaker 2: something that's not she wants it probably to be like oh, by.
Speaker 3: This, I'm just saying the results sometimes seem too good
Speaker 3: to be true, like we're not looking at other people's results,
Speaker 3: like is this for real?
Speaker 2: Yeah?
Speaker 3: And then yeah, you could be true, like we know
Speaker 3: at the time, like, dude, what it is you're could
Speaker 3: be true? Nobody has time for this.
Speaker 2: But also this is I think a key that I
Speaker 2: don't know if this is happening or not. When you
Speaker 2: are getting scammed, there's usually always like what's next, Like
Speaker 2: she's making you do this thing again, but it doesn't
Speaker 2: sound like she's charging any more money.
Speaker 3: No, it's a gift, okay, but I feel like that means.
Speaker 2: Here's a free gift, So then you'll buy this other.
Speaker 3: Thing thirty days from now. It'll be like, remember that
Speaker 3: free gift I gave you?
Speaker 2: You owe me? Yeah, And then you're gonna feel guilty.
Speaker 2: So that's one thing I would have people look out for.
Speaker 2: If there is always something else and it keeps going
Speaker 2: and you have you need them. If somebody's not a scammer,
Speaker 2: they're gonna teach you the thing and then they're gonna
Speaker 2: let you go be free on your own versus like
Speaker 2: I need you to stay with me and stay in
Speaker 2: my tribe CULTI vibes.
Speaker 3: You know, if I pack my bags and move to
Speaker 3: wherever in the world.
Speaker 2: The next step is in person, and I have to
Speaker 2: go meet her this plane ticket to I don't know where.
Speaker 2: You just show up.
Speaker 3: Yeah, okay, I will say my shoulders are more relaxed
Speaker 3: and my posta is a little bit better, I feel like.
Speaker 3: But I will say this checklist is good for anybody
Speaker 3: that's you know, when you're following certain people on Instagram.
Speaker 3: It could be just influencers that you follow and they're
Speaker 3: talking about a particular product, and now there's there's I mean,
Speaker 3: the spectrum is it's all over the place, but there
Speaker 3: is one particular girl I started to follow a couple
Speaker 3: of months ago, and I may unfollow because I've started
Speaker 3: to realize I get hooked every single time, because I
Speaker 3: think she's really good about that too good to be
Speaker 3: true hook, and she gets me and like one thing,
Speaker 3: she's into face fitness, and well, I guess probably a
Speaker 3: lot of people that pop up in my account now
Speaker 3: are face fitness because the algorithm, that's all it feeds me.
Speaker 3: So I won't even pin this directly on her, but
Speaker 3: so many people are like, I canceled my plastic surgery appointment,
Speaker 3: which who knows what her plastic surgery appointment was. Was
Speaker 3: it for botox? Because you can get botox at the
Speaker 3: plastic surgeon's office. So I don't know if she's claiming
Speaker 3: she's about to go get a facelift or something, but
Speaker 3: she said that was her hook. It's like, oh, someone
Speaker 3: canceled an appointment because of this. I'm going to pause
Speaker 3: and watch, and then you know, she does like a
Speaker 3: little temple massage here and like a nasal limn and
Speaker 3: then it's like, oh, that's all you do every day
Speaker 3: for three minutes, and you were able to cancel your
Speaker 3: your appointment at the doctor for whatever it is you
Speaker 3: wanted to change. But that's an example of one thing
Speaker 3: that I've seen. And then they're good at in anything
Speaker 3: they're trying to pitch, whether it's that you learn a
Speaker 3: product or whatever, and some people just that's their gifts,
Speaker 3: like they are really really good at it.
Speaker 2: Yeah. Yeah, and you just have to be aware. And
Speaker 2: I think it's a different if it is taking resources
Speaker 2: away from you that you actually don't have, that's one thing,
Speaker 2: Like this is kind of harmless. I mean besides the time, right,
Speaker 2: but if you like had to sell your house because
Speaker 2: you had to afford this face fitness score, of course, right,
Speaker 2: that you're being scammed and also you need some we
Speaker 2: need help you in other ways.
Speaker 3: Okay, well I think you concluded I'm currently not getting
Speaker 3: scammed at the moment, so yeah, we can high five
Speaker 3: on that and then move on to core emotions and
Speaker 3: speak Core Emotions Part one. Yeah, that's a ang.
Speaker 2: I love talking about feelings first of all, so I
Speaker 2: could do this all day long, but I wanted to start.
Speaker 2: I think we both wanted to start with feelings because
Speaker 2: we're going to be obviously it's feelings things. We're going
Speaker 2: to be talking about them all the time and relating
Speaker 2: things back and learning how to identify my own feelings
Speaker 2: and learning how to like sit in my own feelings
Speaker 2: has transformed I think my relationships in my life in general,
Speaker 2: because we're getting these gifts. So I like to describe
Speaker 2: feelings as guides or tools. So they're not good or bad.
Speaker 2: They're not right or wrong. If once you see this list,
Speaker 2: you're gonna look at it and you're gonna say, Catherine,
Speaker 2: there's only one good one. They're all the same, They're all.
Speaker 3: They are not good or bad. Yeah, they all have
Speaker 3: an offering.
Speaker 2: They all have an offering, and they all have an
Speaker 2: impairment if you choose not to feel them. And the
Speaker 2: visual I like to give people is feelings are very
Speaker 2: similar to the lights on the dashboard of your car.
Speaker 2: So if you're driving down the road, and this resonates
Speaker 2: with me a lot because I get so frustrated and
Speaker 2: I feel so inconvenienced when a light pops up. So
Speaker 2: I'm driving down the road and maybe a check engine
Speaker 2: or my my change your oil light or something pops
Speaker 2: up on my car. All that is doing is saying, hey,
Speaker 2: there's something that you need to go look at or
Speaker 2: check or pay attention to. So it's a tool, right,
Speaker 2: that is, it's a guide that's leading you to what
Speaker 2: your car needs. Yes, if you have to change my oil.
Speaker 2: Probably inconvenient. I might it might like I don't know,
Speaker 2: if I'm on a road trip, set me back an hour. However,
Speaker 2: if I don't get that oil changed and my oil
Speaker 2: is gone, but con guess what, my car is going
Speaker 2: to blow up and I'm not going to ever get
Speaker 2: to where I'm going, which I have had my car
Speaker 2: stop in the middle of the road one time because
Speaker 2: I had no oil and it was so inconvenient, and
Speaker 2: it led me from I was in a rush and
Speaker 2: I wanted to get to my full day of work
Speaker 2: and I don't want to be late for my clients. And
Speaker 2: then because I didn't just get my oil change when
Speaker 2: I should have, I actually missed that whole day of work.
Speaker 2: So you're going to be forced to pay attention to
Speaker 2: it one way or another. Feelings are the same way,
Speaker 2: So you have a feeling it's just signaling, Hey, there's
Speaker 2: something that you need to pay attention to, that you
Speaker 2: want to look at, that you just want to care for.
Speaker 2: Could be inconvenient, but also if you pay attention to it,
Speaker 2: you might get something that you're missing or needing.
Speaker 3: I think one thing to keep in mind too, is
Speaker 3: people that grew up in a really dysfunctional environment. They
Speaker 3: learned not to feel, and so there's a lot of
Speaker 3: us walking around not me. I just mean humans that
Speaker 3: don't even know how to feel. And I guess I
Speaker 3: say not me because I don't like to put my
Speaker 3: home as like dysfunctional. But everybody had their own dysfunction,
Speaker 3: and I do think that my parents were emotionally unavailable.
Speaker 2: Dysfunctional doesn't always mean like right, like creative and bad.
Speaker 2: It's really honestly, we're all paying attention. There's dysfunction in
Speaker 2: every system, right.
Speaker 3: And that's why I had to rewind and sort of
Speaker 3: stop myself because I'm like a lot of us walking
Speaker 3: around because dysfunction.
Speaker 2: I'm like, not me.
Speaker 3: But then I was like, shoot, I don't want to
Speaker 3: discount that. Yeah, there was some dysfunction in my home,
Speaker 3: and I, as a parent, have created some dysfunction for
Speaker 3: my kids. And it doesn't mean that you're a bad
Speaker 3: parent or my parents were bad. Now, some people grew
Speaker 3: up in environment where, yeah, you'd probably classify their their
Speaker 3: upbringing as like, oh that was really rough. I had
Speaker 3: loving parents. They loved the best that they could, but
Speaker 3: they also were very shut down themselves. So that's something
Speaker 3: I'm trying to undo generational trauma, Like whatever they had
Speaker 3: from their parents, they were just doing the best that
Speaker 3: they could. And I'm trying to offer my kids all
Speaker 3: the space to feel and we want to feel all
Speaker 3: the things and ask all the questions and dive in.
Speaker 3: And I'm excited about doing this for people that maybe
Speaker 3: are like me in their forties where they're trying to
Speaker 3: figure some stuff out that they didn't have access to
Speaker 3: early on.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I think it is important to note that when
Speaker 2: we are in our dysfunction, most of the time, it's
Speaker 2: coming from a good place. I'm doing what I know,
Speaker 2: I'm doing what i'm taught to, doing what I think
Speaker 2: is right, and specifically with feelings, because a lot of
Speaker 2: them are uncomfortable to feel. Steering somebody away from them
Speaker 2: probably feels like sometimes the right thing to do. And
Speaker 2: then another thing to note is that because feelings signify
Speaker 2: a need, that's why a lot of us shut them
Speaker 2: down because I don't want to have to need something,
Speaker 2: Because sometimes we're taught that we don't need to be
Speaker 2: needy or we don't need to draw attention to ourselves,
Speaker 2: especially women, so we shut those down and we're like, oh,
Speaker 2: that's I'm okay, I'm fine, when really that's gonna come
Speaker 2: out a different way. These feelings are also like energy,
Speaker 2: So if I'm going to shut it down, I have
Speaker 2: to put that energy somewhere in my body, and to
Speaker 2: do that, I'm gonna have to displace something else. So
Speaker 2: something's gonna come out, and then that energy is still
Speaker 2: down there, and eventually you're gonna have to get that
Speaker 2: out because you're gonna have something else to put there.
Speaker 3: But it's gonna be way more of an inconvenience, sort
Speaker 3: of like when, yeah, you break down on the side
Speaker 3: of the road, if you addressed it early on.
Speaker 2: Yes, yes, And I say all this too. I am
Speaker 2: a therapist who goes to therapy myself, and I'm not
Speaker 2: perfect at this stuff. So when I talk about this
Speaker 2: stuff or teach it, it's also reminders for me and
Speaker 2: anybody who's listening. I would just want you to give
Speaker 2: yourself a lot of grace because, as you'll hear in
Speaker 2: some of the stories we tell, I still get stuck
Speaker 2: in this stuff as well because of just the way
Speaker 2: our world is.
Speaker 3: Yeah. Okay, we'll especially get into that when we talk
Speaker 3: about hurt.
Speaker 2: Yeah, but we're.
Speaker 3: Gonna start with feeling one, which is lonely.
Speaker 2: Yes, and I do want to shout out these little
Speaker 2: worksheets that we made. So we made our own feeling
Speaker 2: wheel that specifically talks about these eight emotions. And these
Speaker 2: feelings are not the like I said in the beginning,
Speaker 2: the right feelings. They're just the ones that I use.
Speaker 2: And you look like here.
Speaker 3: We are exhibit A. But these are something that people
Speaker 3: can have access to for a limited time.
Speaker 2: If you sign up in the next thirty seconds.
Speaker 3: There's a weight list to get these and we'll send
Speaker 3: you a special link and then you can download them.
Speaker 2: Give us your bank account number.
Speaker 3: No, no, really, we should do a little thing. I mean,
Speaker 3: we're not going to, but what if we did a
Speaker 3: thing where it's like, this was five hundred dollars and
Speaker 3: we put a red line through. We're like zero, Now
Speaker 3: it's zero dollars. All you have to do is sign
Speaker 3: up for a newsletter.
Speaker 2: We really should do that. I feel like that'd be funny.
Speaker 3: I feel like an inside joke. If people even made
Speaker 3: it to this point in the.
Speaker 2: Podcast, they're like, what, who would buy that for five
Speaker 2: hundred dollars? Like literally no, right?
Speaker 3: So, but really. If you sign up for our newsletter,
Speaker 3: you will get the Feelings wheel, the Gifts of feelings,
Speaker 3: which is another wheel chart situation, and then sort of
Speaker 3: this flow chart, which I think is great, which really
Speaker 3: breaks down the gifts that you'll get from each feeling,
Speaker 3: and then the impairment want the impairment and the need
Speaker 3: and the need, which is so helpful because prop to
Speaker 3: get in this another time. But I was on a
Speaker 3: phone call with my boyfriend today and I don't know,
Speaker 3: I'm realizing I don't know how to express my needs
Speaker 3: well because part of it feels selfish.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 3: Yeah, so that's all I'll say about that. So that's
Speaker 3: something I'm working on too. And Kat's expert, she's the therapist.
Speaker 3: But I love that you said I'm a therapist that
Speaker 3: also goes to therapy, because I'd like to say I'm
Speaker 3: a normal, everyday human that's not a therapist that also
Speaker 3: goes to therapy.
Speaker 2: So we're the same. Yeah, we're the same.
Speaker 3: We're the same.
Speaker 2: And I will say with the need, that's like a
Speaker 2: jumping off point because sometimes that's not always the exact need.
Speaker 2: So I would take that as like a I would
Speaker 2: take it with a grain of salt. I guess where
Speaker 2: this could be it or it could be a version
Speaker 2: of this, but it does help you start thinking about
Speaker 2: what it is. I don't want people to get too
Speaker 2: stuck on that part, because sometimes I might be like,
Speaker 2: that doesn't fit. Okay, So do you want to just
Speaker 2: get into it?
Speaker 3: Yeah, Lovely, we're feeling one.
Speaker 2: So we're starting with lonely. That need is to be known,
Speaker 2: and so that can be a version of a lot
Speaker 2: of different things, like being known can mean different things
Speaker 2: to different people. I might just want my friend to
Speaker 2: see me. I might want maybe in a there was
Speaker 2: an event, or you know what, I'll just get into this.
Speaker 2: I feel like in the situation we had, I was
Speaker 2: feeling a little lonely because I wanted to be more
Speaker 2: a part of the production that we were creating. And
Speaker 2: so I felt like you were over there and I
Speaker 2: was over here, and I just wanted you to know
Speaker 2: more about what I could offer.
Speaker 3: Oh, and that was lonely for you. Yeah, And we'll
Speaker 3: get into more of the in the weeds of that
Speaker 3: when we talk about the feeling of hurt. When I
Speaker 3: think of lonely, I think of a time when we
Speaker 3: first adopted the kids or I was going through certain
Speaker 3: things in my marriage where I didn't have community around
Speaker 3: that because these were situations that I had never encountered before,
Speaker 3: and I kind of felt like I was the only one.
Speaker 3: I didn't know there were groups of people that would
Speaker 3: meet and gather like I've yeah, I'm like, shoot, what
Speaker 3: if I said? What if I not said? Over the years,
Speaker 3: because it's not just my story, So there's things that
Speaker 3: I went through there involving other people, and it's it's
Speaker 3: their story too, So that's why I'm careful with details
Speaker 3: and what I say and what I don't say. But
Speaker 3: what I can say about that is I spent a
Speaker 3: lot of time alone in my closet crying, and that
Speaker 3: was before I found community in what I was going
Speaker 3: through in both situations, so as an adopted mom and
Speaker 3: as a wife, there were things. And once I found
Speaker 3: community on the internet.
Speaker 4: Okay, you weren't scammed there first or Facebook, and then
Speaker 4: I was like, oh, this is a group, and then
Speaker 4: you know that was a group where you had to
Speaker 4: get invited in, so I was all nervous, you got
Speaker 4: a special link I got in, but then once I
Speaker 4: got in, and then I did meet them in person,
Speaker 4: so I realized there was a group of moms that
Speaker 4: were gathering right here in Nashville where it was a
Speaker 4: very safe space and you could say anything and there
Speaker 4: was no judgment. And then in my marriage, I found
Speaker 4: another group where I got to go meet and I'm like, oh,
Speaker 4: and that gave me tools to get through that.
Speaker 2: When people saw you you felt like they're.
Speaker 3: Different Vergine and heard like I was like, oh, I'm
Speaker 3: not alone. And then now I'm still involved in those things.
Speaker 3: But now when I was calling some of those women
Speaker 3: feeling lost and alone and like can you help me,
Speaker 3: It's like now periodically I get a text or an
Speaker 3: email or phone call from other people are like, Hey,
Speaker 3: my friend is going through this right now. Can I
Speaker 3: give her your number? Or can this you know? My
Speaker 3: coworker's cousin is going through this, can you? I mean,
Speaker 3: that's how distant, that's how desperate sometimes people are to
Speaker 3: find people that understand what they're going through, because sometimes
Speaker 3: you just don't know anybody, and it takes reaching out
Speaker 3: and asking others, hey do you know anybody, and then
Speaker 3: they might be like, oh, yeah, my neighbors, cousin, sisters,
Speaker 3: father in law's stepdaughter is exactly who you can call,
Speaker 3: let me reach out to her. And so now I'm
Speaker 3: on the receiving end of that, where I was the
Speaker 3: one seeking that out and people were there for me.
Speaker 3: I'm able to now be like, oh, hey, here's what
Speaker 3: we did. This is what I can say. Can't say
Speaker 3: for sure that it will work for you, but this
Speaker 3: is a starting point, and then hopefully they feel less alone.
Speaker 3: And so that was the part where I felt very lonely,
Speaker 3: and then once I found the community. But it took
Speaker 3: me being proactive.
Speaker 2: Well, it took you acknowledging and allowing yourself to feel
Speaker 2: the feeling. So if you didn't allow yourself to feel lonely,
Speaker 2: that that impairment would lead you to be apathetic, it
Speaker 2: would lead you to have distance, you wouldn't have as
Speaker 2: close as relationships. I think that would even affect your
Speaker 2: relationships that you already had. I for sure keep pulling
Speaker 2: back because you would keep feeling like different or people
Speaker 2: didn't understand, or you just would want to keep shutting
Speaker 2: yourself down. And the only way to do that is
Speaker 2: to not be face to face with what you don't have,
Speaker 2: and then by feeling the feeling didn't feel very good.
Speaker 2: I'm sure those moments in your closet were excruciating, but
Speaker 2: that led you to intimacy and connection, which I think
Speaker 2: a gift. That's the gift. Yeah, we want.
Speaker 3: The gift intimacy and connection with a little butt on it.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 3: Okay, okay, So are we good? Feeling one check?
Speaker 2: Feeling one check? We could do a whole episode probably
Speaker 2: on each of these, but lonely specifically, we really could.
Speaker 3: Especially since especially since I just say that already because
Speaker 3: in my brain I say that out loud twice. Maybe actually, especially.
Speaker 2: Since now you said it.
Speaker 3: Your CD's not skipping well since the pandemic loneliness has
Speaker 3: been an epidemic of SS.
Speaker 2: Yes, and I'm.
Speaker 3: Sure we could spend a lot of time on it,
Speaker 3: but we can move on to feeling too. We'll come back,
Speaker 3: which will be hurt, Yeah, which is where Cat's going
Speaker 3: to share out.
Speaker 2: I hurt her. I felt hurt, but you didn't do
Speaker 2: it to me.
Speaker 3: I didn't do it to you, and I didn't mean to. Yeah,
Speaker 3: I didn't even know I was doing it.
Speaker 2: So I like to say that nobody can make you
Speaker 2: feel anything. That's right. So as the tailings one oh
Speaker 2: one right, and the reason I believe that is because
Speaker 2: the same thing could have happened to ten other people,
Speaker 2: and not everybody would have felt the same thing. It's
Speaker 2: what is happening in the world is hitting my story
Speaker 2: and my stuff, and then I feel something about it.
Speaker 2: So not trying to invalidate what I was feeling, I'm
Speaker 2: just really trying to that's helpful when you confront somebody
Speaker 2: about it, or I'm not like you did this to me,
Speaker 2: it's I felt this so hurt. That need is a
Speaker 2: lot of times just simply attention, attention to whatever it
Speaker 2: is came up, and I'll share the story, but first
Speaker 2: I'll share the impairment and the gift. So if you
Speaker 2: are unaware and you don't let yourself actually acknowledge hurt,
Speaker 2: which I think we do a lot because when we're
Speaker 2: our feelings are hurt, I feel like people make that
Speaker 2: sound like weak or you're being dramatic or get over it.
Speaker 2: You know, that's the whole like put yourself up by
Speaker 2: your bootstraps and like keep going, like oh, if it's
Speaker 2: not broken, keep going kind of thing. And so when
Speaker 2: we're unaware, that really leads to resentment. And what I
Speaker 2: do most of the time is I become passive aggressive,
Speaker 2: or I like stonewall. People all cut people out without
Speaker 2: even realizing it. So we don't want that.
Speaker 3: However, few no, we don't, especially since we just launch podcasts.
Speaker 3: We can't be having that, And then our friendship is
Speaker 3: more important to me than the podcast.
Speaker 2: So there's yeah, yeah, And if you are aware, it
Speaker 2: leads to healing, which obviously feels good, and it helps
Speaker 2: build courage. So the more I can actually confront somebody
Speaker 2: about an experience I had, the more courage I have
Speaker 2: to do that, because it's it is hard, it's vulnerable.
Speaker 2: You don't know how somebody is going to respond.
Speaker 3: And I feel like sometimes in a romantic relationship, when
Speaker 3: we decid to actually let someone in and share a
Speaker 3: feeling or what we are feeling, I think it's important
Speaker 3: to say I am feeling this way, not to your partner.
Speaker 3: A lot of times in relationship could be like, well,
Speaker 3: you made me feel this way, so I'm glad you
Speaker 3: clarified that that nobody can make you feel a certain way.
Speaker 3: But there is this fear of if there's not healthy communication,
Speaker 3: that it's your feelings won't be valid, that it'll be
Speaker 3: met with you're being dramatic, yeah, or you're overreacting, which.
Speaker 2: That can happen, And I get the one. There are
Speaker 2: people that you confront, there's people that you don't. If
Speaker 2: you know somebody is going to probably not be receptive
Speaker 2: and you've already been through this, then there's more of
Speaker 2: a boundary of Okay, I need to find healing, but
Speaker 2: that healing might not always come from the person that
Speaker 2: I felt the hurt way.
Speaker 3: So do you think that that's the case even if
Speaker 3: you're in a romantic relationship with someone, Well, if you're in.
Speaker 2: A romantic relationship with somebody, I would say, let's talk
Speaker 2: about it. And if they are not able to validate
Speaker 2: your feelings consistently over and over and over again, then
Speaker 2: maybe you are not in a healthy relationship and you
Speaker 2: want to evaluate do I want to still be in this?
Speaker 2: I think there's some people we can't avoid, like a boss,
Speaker 2: or like my parents, or just somebody who's in your
Speaker 2: life that you for one reason oother you can't it's
Speaker 2: not that easy to end that relationship, So evaluate that
Speaker 2: because you don't want to then put yourself in a
Speaker 2: position where that's going to feel even worse or that's
Speaker 2: going to kind of dig deeper a story you already
Speaker 2: have in your head.
Speaker 3: So that's that just the side note of healing doesn't
Speaker 3: have to come from the person that hurt you. Yeah, okay,
Speaker 3: And in our case, yeah, we were able to resolve
Speaker 3: it pretty quickly, which I think was a good thing
Speaker 3: to experience early on in this endeavor because it was
Speaker 3: related to episode one, this very episode, except for you're
Speaker 3: not listening to the original episode that we did because
Speaker 3: we already recorded an entire episode one and it is trashed.
Speaker 3: It's actually literally in the cat's trash box on her computer.
Speaker 3: It's in the trash, which is for the better.
Speaker 2: Yeah. Do you want to share what happened to it?
Speaker 3: Well, so I okay, will you share your part?
Speaker 2: I'll share my part.
Speaker 3: So I woke up two days after we recorded it.
Speaker 3: So we recorded it because we were trying to get
Speaker 3: way ahead because you know, we have video.
Speaker 2: Now of everything.
Speaker 3: Shout out go to our Instagram at Feelings Things podcast. Yeah,
Speaker 3: we're only five years behind on that, but we're going
Speaker 3: to consistently have video. I've dabbled in that with Four
Speaker 3: Things a little bit, but this is just part of
Speaker 3: our our big girl pants now. And we filmed it
Speaker 3: recorded it, and with social stuff, we were trying to
Speaker 3: get way ahead of schedule, and so I woke up
Speaker 3: two days after we recorded it and I just had
Speaker 3: this feeling. It's almost like I woke up even the
Speaker 3: middle of the night of like something was off. I
Speaker 3: didn't like the way we did it. I didn't like
Speaker 3: the vibe and like the energy. I know that it's
Speaker 3: okay if we have a knee and we're leaning more therapy.
Speaker 3: And in the first episode, I was very clear on
Speaker 3: that this wasn't a therapy podcast. In fact, it was
Speaker 3: in our original podcast description you know Kat's a therapist
Speaker 3: and is like, this isn't a therapy podcast. Like I
Speaker 3: felt the need to say that Kat's a therapist. She
Speaker 3: had a podcast for years, a successful podcast that a
Speaker 3: lot of people love, called you Need Therapy. And then
Speaker 3: she's setting that aside to come join me, which was
Speaker 3: something you wanted to do too. But we're joining together,
Speaker 3: and here I am being like, this isn't a therapy podcast,
Speaker 3: just so that everybody knows, over and over, and I
Speaker 3: think you were sitting there thinking like, why does she
Speaker 3: keep saying this so much? Like this is this is
Speaker 3: like a sort of a slap to my face and like,
Speaker 3: I'm a therapist and I have a lot to offer
Speaker 3: and I would like for this to lean therapy. Well
Speaker 3: I knew we may lean therapy, but some reviews or
Speaker 3: comments that I've seen about me over the last four
Speaker 3: years or so dms comments on my Instagram reviews of
Speaker 3: the podcast, like on iTunes, oh this is leaning way
Speaker 3: to therapy for me, or Amy's just to therapy. I
Speaker 3: can't listen to her anymore. Means stuff which I've evolved. Yeah,
Speaker 3: and so yeah, maybe I am leaning that way because
Speaker 3: of things that I'm learning and that I find interesting
Speaker 3: and stuff I have going on in my life. I
Speaker 3: just want to share. Like I'm not claiming to be
Speaker 3: the expert or anything. It just can be maybe like
Speaker 3: come alongside other people that are going through things. And
Speaker 3: when I read that about me, I thought, well, shoot,
Speaker 3: I don't want to be put in that box. So
Speaker 3: bringing you on as a therapist, I think I had
Speaker 3: this well like it wasn't awareness awareness of it, but
Speaker 3: maybe just somewhere my subconscious of like, oh, Cat's a therapist.
Speaker 3: So I need to make sure that people know this
Speaker 3: isn't going to be a therapy podcast because then they're
Speaker 3: going to say more bad things about me. So it
Speaker 3: is my own fear. And so I woke up two
Speaker 3: days after we recorded, I'm like, why am I worried
Speaker 3: about what any meaning mine and have said on iTunes
Speaker 3: reviews about me and how I am as a person now.
Speaker 3: And if they can't listen, that's fine. If they don't
Speaker 3: want to listen, that's okay. There are other people that
Speaker 3: may want this type of content. So we are a
Speaker 3: therapy podcast, mental health minded. Kat give me that we
Speaker 3: are mental health minded. So we're mental health minded. Cat's
Speaker 3: a therapist. I don't even need to reiterate over and
Speaker 3: over how we're not a therapy podcast, because who cares.
Speaker 3: We're just going to be what we are and see
Speaker 3: where it goes. And some episodes may lean more therapy,
Speaker 3: some episodes may not. And we've got our couch Talks
Speaker 3: episodes on Thursday where people are going to be writing
Speaker 3: in and it may be questions they might ask a
Speaker 3: therapist or a friend, which sometimes your conversations with a
Speaker 3: friend is like therapy. So I just woke up with
Speaker 3: this feeling of we need to redo this. I feel
Speaker 3: bad that I made at that way and it's okay
Speaker 3: to have a niche, and our niche is this, screw
Speaker 3: anybody else who doesn't like it. So then I called
Speaker 3: you and I'm like, hey, this is what I'm thinking
Speaker 3: about this, and you were literally on your way to therapy,
Speaker 3: I know, to just like rip me a new one
Speaker 3: with your therapist. And you're in the car and you're like,
Speaker 3: oh my gosh, I can't believe you called and you're
Speaker 3: saying all this right now, because you were like, I've
Speaker 3: been trying to process how I'm going to talk through
Speaker 3: this with my therapist so I can figure out what
Speaker 3: I need from this. Because you left that recording like
Speaker 3: what am I even doing here? But I didn't know
Speaker 3: you felt that way, and so I by saying over
Speaker 3: and over this isn't a therapy podcast. That was hurting you,
Speaker 3: and so I'm sorry for that.
Speaker 2: Thank you. That's my perspective. Yeah, and well, I think
Speaker 2: most of what you said is what happens. So we
Speaker 2: recorded this episode. I kept hearing the it's not a
Speaker 2: therapy podcast over and over and over again, and I
Speaker 2: think I you didn't realize how much you were saying it,
Speaker 2: and I clocked it every single time. So I was really.
Speaker 2: I actually was really fearful and anxious that day recording
Speaker 2: because I didn't know how to be, because I was
Speaker 2: worried if I, like I feel today, I can talk
Speaker 2: as much as I want or as little as I want.
Speaker 2: I can share whatever I want, I can add things.
Speaker 2: But I was trying to like stay inside these imaginary
Speaker 2: bounds that had been created because we weren't a therapy podcast.
Speaker 2: But I also was trying to and I talked to
Speaker 2: this about with my therapists before too. I have to
Speaker 2: maintain some professional boundaries for myself as well, because I
Speaker 2: want people who either, if you are my client, I
Speaker 2: want you to be able to listen to this just
Speaker 2: like you could listen to you need therapy. And I
Speaker 2: want to be congruent with how I show up as
Speaker 2: a therapist and how I show up here because this
Speaker 2: is public, and so I didn't. I was like, I
Speaker 2: feel like a dud, Like I can't be fun and
Speaker 2: I can't be smart, or I can't be like I
Speaker 2: didn't know how to be.
Speaker 3: So for that one comment, isn't that interesting me saying
Speaker 3: that over and over dimmed your light?
Speaker 2: Yeah?
Speaker 3: And that's the last thing I would want to do,
Speaker 3: is dim your light, but it was my own insecurity
Speaker 3: of worrying about whomever.
Speaker 2: Well, I also heard a lot of stuff that you said,
Speaker 2: and I filtered a lot of stuff, Like when I
Speaker 2: was like going back and recounting the conversation, I think
Speaker 2: I exaggerated things that happened because I was hearing them through.
Speaker 2: This is not a therapy podcast. So whenever you would
Speaker 2: like stop me, I was like, oh my god, it
Speaker 2: did something wrong right, like I just I felt. So
Speaker 2: I got a lot of emotions, so it wasn't just
Speaker 2: as you can see, you're feeling multiple emotions at once,
Speaker 2: not just one. So I was going to go to
Speaker 2: my therapist. Well, and the next day was your birthday,
Speaker 2: so I said, well, I'm not going to talk about
Speaker 2: it with her. And I also had this feeling that
Speaker 2: I didn't like that. I was like, does she think
Speaker 2: I'm stupid? Like does she not know? I felt like
Speaker 2: does she not respect me? And that all started coming
Speaker 2: up and I was like why is this bothering me
Speaker 2: so much? So I knew I needed to process it.
Speaker 2: I knew that I didn't want to talk about it
Speaker 2: on your birthday. But after your birthday party, I came
Speaker 2: home and I said to Patrick, I said, Amy's such
Speaker 2: a good friend, and it's because I was seeing you
Speaker 2: in a different light too. It was like this was
Speaker 2: not about work, and I was like, she does like
Speaker 2: me and think this about me and think this about me?
Speaker 2: So what was going on in me that I saw
Speaker 2: everything she was saying and doing through this filter and
Speaker 2: through this lens. So I knew part of it was
Speaker 2: my own stuff. But still the timing was so weird
Speaker 2: because I even walked into my therapist's office and I said, Okay,
Speaker 2: I don't really know what my angle is now today
Speaker 2: because I was going to talk about this, but now
Speaker 2: I need to talk about this, and honestly thinking about
Speaker 2: this today too when I was driving to work. That
Speaker 2: experience was very helpful. I think for our relationship there
Speaker 2: was healing, But also does this make me emotional? I
Speaker 2: think that it allowed me to open up a place
Speaker 2: that I need healing in my own life too. And again,
Speaker 2: somebody hurt, they're being hurt doesn't mean you did anything wrong.
Speaker 2: It almost is like you showed me a spot that
Speaker 2: I need to go back and address because I realized
Speaker 2: that a lot of my life I have survived on
Speaker 2: being smart and that's what I offered, Like that's what
Speaker 2: I was versus I was other things, but that was
Speaker 2: like what I was like, Well, if I have this,
Speaker 2: I'm okay and I want I went back and I
Speaker 2: started talking about all the things that I wish I
Speaker 2: would have done as a kid. I was like, and
Speaker 2: I want to do these things, and I want to
Speaker 2: do these things, and one of them was like an
Speaker 2: improv class, And I was like, Amy's been trying to
Speaker 2: get me to do an improv class, Like she's trying
Speaker 2: to heal this part of me and I don't even
Speaker 2: know it. So it was very cool for me to
Speaker 2: be able to take that experience, really sit with it,
Speaker 2: use it as a tool. What is it that I need?
Speaker 2: There are things that I need that I had no idea.
Speaker 2: I was still feeling pain from that had nothing to
Speaker 2: do with you.
Speaker 3: Yeah, when I think that, that's the beauty of the experience.
Speaker 3: That's the gift of allowing yourself to feel the emotion
Speaker 3: and also us feeling safe enough to come to each
Speaker 3: other and both want to hear what the other person
Speaker 3: has to say. Like I called you and woke up
Speaker 3: with this epiphany and I shared it, and then you
Speaker 3: were able to finally say, especially because you didn't want
Speaker 3: to bring it up on my birthday, like Okay, well
Speaker 3: you're not gonna believe this, but I'm about to go
Speaker 3: into my therapist, and you were able to share with
Speaker 3: me exactly and I held space for that.
Speaker 2: You were really good at listening, which.
Speaker 3: If I wasn't in a healthy place, who knows, Like
Speaker 3: if I could have held space for that, if I
Speaker 3: had a different filter that then I was taking what
Speaker 3: you were saying through. And that's what I think can
Speaker 3: happen when there's big disconnects and relationships. It's like everyone
Speaker 3: has their filter and it's like nobody's feeling seen or heard,
Speaker 3: and it's like oh, And so I was very thankful
Speaker 3: that we were able to come to a resolution and
Speaker 3: heal that in such a timely manner. And I think
Speaker 3: that was a gift for us, especially starting this out
Speaker 3: because it's episode one.
Speaker 2: And it's a gift for everybody else too. That episode
Speaker 2: was not good.
Speaker 3: It wasn't like like it was pretty terrible, like people
Speaker 3: probably unsubscribe. So I think we were both just not
Speaker 3: ourselves because I was too busy trying to fit a
Speaker 3: mold that I think listeners would want of me and
Speaker 3: then trying to force you into that when you're like, hello, yeah.
Speaker 2: I'm kat I am like that's part of who I am.
Speaker 3: Went to grad school.
Speaker 2: Don't tell me, Buddy's not a therapy podcast.
Speaker 3: Oh yeah, and we're over that. Yeah, Okay, this is
Speaker 3: so the whatever you need it to be podcast.
Speaker 2: So well, yeah, but we do have a niche, but
Speaker 2: we have a niche feelings in therapy, but there's a
Speaker 2: there's so many gifts in that. I think that is.
Speaker 2: I'm glad that happened because of the things that I'm
Speaker 2: getting in my own life, the things that we're able
Speaker 2: to gain from each other, like we're learning about each other.
Speaker 3: And that, Well, something else you said to me that
Speaker 3: stood out of like you're like, I'm also trying to
Speaker 3: figure out like I always have the need to be right,
Speaker 3: and you're you were able to say this is even
Speaker 3: an issue in my own marriage of like the I
Speaker 3: always have to be right. So I just wanted to
Speaker 3: so I was, yeah, I think your awareness and be like, okay, yes,
Speaker 3: when you have awareness, it's it's so beautiful. It can
Speaker 3: suck because you're like I hate that I am this
Speaker 3: way and people have to put up with me being
Speaker 3: this way, but you can work on it, Yeah, when
Speaker 3: you can work on it. Yeah, I wasn't saying you.
Speaker 2: You can work on this part of you because you're
Speaker 2: not always right Cat, I'm really not. And I am
Speaker 2: glad you said that because I forgot that was one
Speaker 2: of the things I was going to go in and
Speaker 2: talk about of I need to be better at knowing
Speaker 2: when I really am in the right and when I
Speaker 2: am being stubborn and when I'm just used to people
Speaker 2: listening to me. Because I work by my I work
Speaker 2: for myself, so I haven't had a boss since I
Speaker 2: was twenty six. So I'm in this new partnership and
Speaker 2: I'm like, dang it is it? Am I not good
Speaker 2: at working with people? And I'm married to somebody who's
Speaker 2: very agreeable, So I want there to be space for
Speaker 2: his voice. And so this was another opportunity for me
Speaker 2: to say, for me to feel like, what does it
Speaker 2: feel like when I really do feel like this is
Speaker 2: something that has happened, And what does it feel like
Speaker 2: when I'm just being my egos taking over ego? Yeah,
Speaker 2: we all have it, even though we don't want it.
Speaker 2: We need it to survive. But yeah. I like to
Speaker 2: say self awareness really is knowing that there's so much
Speaker 2: stuff that you don't know. Yes, So the more self
Speaker 2: awareness I have, the more I know that, like I
Speaker 2: need a lot of help, which we'll get to because
Speaker 2: that's part of another feeling.
Speaker 3: And you can find all the help you need here
Speaker 3: because we're a therapy podcast.
Speaker 2: Just kidding me, You've got from one side of the
Speaker 2: spectrum to the other.
Speaker 3: Now I'm being yeah, I'm joking, being silly. We just
Speaker 3: are who we are, and you are a therapist. I'm
Speaker 3: trying to figure out here with what do you think
Speaker 3: on time? Because I feel like we've should we keep
Speaker 3: going through the other two or should we we stop
Speaker 3: with her and then pick back up, pick back up
Speaker 3: next week.
Speaker 2: With yeah yeah fear.
Speaker 3: Yeah, we'll do to at a time, maybe two or
Speaker 3: three maybe yeah, yeah, let's do that because we've got stories.
Speaker 3: Because with Fear, I feel like I have a whole
Speaker 3: story about my boyfriend. Okay, you can get into.
Speaker 2: That cliffhanger and China next time for the story about
Speaker 2: her boyfriend's.
Speaker 3: We call it tease.
Speaker 2: That's what we call tea.
Speaker 3: Subscribe follow.
Speaker 2: If you subscribe, we'll send you the special episode about
Speaker 2: Amy's fear for free and it's worth one thousand dollars.
Speaker 3: Yeah, we view all the details, which really doesn't matter,
Speaker 3: but I want to share it because it does matter.
Speaker 3: Why do we say things that sometimes we don't mean?
Speaker 3: It does matter. I think it's important when you recognize
Speaker 3: a fear, because that's one if you set aside, you
Speaker 3: will miss out on life. You will miss out on something.
Speaker 3: It could be unexpectedly fabulous.
Speaker 2: And fear doesn't. Well, we're getting into it. Fear does
Speaker 2: not mean stop all the time. Sometimes it doesn't. Times
Speaker 2: it doesn't. So let's get let's pause, pause, because I'm
Speaker 2: gonna get ahead of myself.
Speaker 3: Okay, So fear coming up next Tuesday. It'll be tuned
Speaker 3: be one of our core feelings and then uh feeling
Speaker 3: for which we get into that next week with fear
Speaker 3: is a little weird to me.
Speaker 2: It's glad.
Speaker 3: I never really I know it's a core feeling glad,
Speaker 3: but I don't know that I spend too much time
Speaker 3: with the word glad. So I'm glad we are.
Speaker 2: It is like dressful, old person word. I feel like
Speaker 2: it's like gladness feels like it's from the nineteen twenties
Speaker 2: or something, you know, like who says.
Speaker 3: I'm glad, Well, I say it when I Oh, I'm
Speaker 3: glad about that, but I don't ever be like I
Speaker 3: feel glad.
Speaker 2: Yeah, well, we'll get into.
Speaker 3: It and I can't wait to feel more glad.
Speaker 2: I will say with the feelings wheel, when you guys
Speaker 2: see it, which I don't know, did we say that
Speaker 2: we're sending it to them. If we did, say we
Speaker 2: weren't kidding about that. We really will send it to you.
Speaker 3: You have to do a sign up with these letter.
Speaker 2: There's no tricks, yeah, and we'll send you all those things.
Speaker 2: But you'll see that there's eight core and then outside
Speaker 2: of the core feelings, they're what I like to call
Speaker 2: shades of the feelings. So with glad, there's so many
Speaker 2: that's the wrong one, that's gifts. Oh, these are gifts,
Speaker 2: so that one. Yeah, yeah, feelings. So if you look
Speaker 2: at glad, there's different shades of gladness. So you could
Speaker 2: use different what are other words on there?
Speaker 3: Uh for glad? Yeah, excited, encouraged, happy, content, satisfaction, optimistic.
Speaker 3: It's a different shade of yellow though, and then an
Speaker 3: even lighter shade of it would.
Speaker 2: Be I didn't organize them in the shades though. Oh okay, yeah, so,
Speaker 2: and that's not all encompassing. Those are just other words
Speaker 2: you could use because sometimes it's hard to come up
Speaker 2: with the word, and it's helpful to look at that.
Speaker 2: But even with like anger and fear and all of those,
Speaker 2: sometimes anger and fear and those words feel too heavy.
Speaker 2: But that's why we have all these different shades of
Speaker 2: the It's still the same core root, right, but it
Speaker 2: might be a more palatable or more fitting word.
Speaker 3: Okay, So I think since we spent some time on hurt,
Speaker 3: we can wrap up with that one because I think
Speaker 3: it's a good way to look at it, Like although, dang,
Speaker 3: you just flat out we're feeling hurt. Yeah, like you've
Speaker 3: watched straight to that core, but the lighter shade of
Speaker 3: green is offended. I was sorry.
Speaker 2: Sometimes it's counting, Yeah.
Speaker 3: All your hard work disappointed because you're like, wait, I
Speaker 3: just left this and I came and I'm doing this
Speaker 3: with you, and now I don't even know my role,
Speaker 3: which also could feel rejected, is under there. So then
Speaker 3: you're feeling rejected because I'm shutting up shocked because you're
Speaker 3: like what what? That's another one so under hurt. It's despair, shock, betrayed, rejected, offended, disappointed,
Speaker 3: pain and then you were having your own pain.
Speaker 2: So yeah, so that those words might just be more
Speaker 2: helpful if the other ones don't.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I love the feelings. We all you did a
Speaker 3: great job. You so good so feeling things with Amy
Speaker 3: and Kat we have our own wheel, we have our
Speaker 3: gifts of feelings and then the feelings the feeling flow chart,
Speaker 3: which I love like this. I'm going to use my
Speaker 3: everyday life things in my relationship things with my kids
Speaker 3: where there's four columns impairment, feeling, need, and gift, and
Speaker 3: I'm going to be referencing this all the time.
Speaker 2: And I do have to shout this out because copyright.
Speaker 2: The majority of this comes from this Feelings flow chart
Speaker 2: comes from Chip Dods, the Voice of the Heart, and
Speaker 2: he also uses those same eight core feelings so it
Speaker 2: aligns really well. So I don't want anybody think that
Speaker 2: I created that, that I have adapted from other people's work.
Speaker 3: Yeah, you noted it on the PDF. I don't want
Speaker 3: to get suit and it is downloaded when you sign
Speaker 3: up for newsletter and then you get these files. It
Speaker 3: said this chart was adapted from Chip Dods The Voice
Speaker 3: of the Heart, and then shout out Lindsay Gibson for
Speaker 3: her she has a adult children of emotionally immature parents.
Speaker 3: That is me.
Speaker 2: I have the book in my back, that's me. That
Speaker 2: book's really good to just help understand why we don't
Speaker 2: feel the these feelings as easily as we want.
Speaker 3: Yeah, this is good stuff. What I'm saying is you're
Speaker 3: gonna want to sign up for a newsletter because if anything,
Speaker 3: you're just gonna get this, and this is gonna be
Speaker 3: something you can reference or you know, you can hit up.
Speaker 3: You know. I'm sure Chip has it somewhere somewhere. But
Speaker 3: is this color coordinated?
Speaker 2: That's pretty.
Speaker 3: The colors are pretty because Cat color coordinated it. So yeah,
Speaker 3: I guess that's that's it. That's a wrap on episode one.
Speaker 3: I mean, we encourage y'all to, yeah, follow us on socials.
Speaker 3: Feeling Things podcast is the handle Feeling Things podcasts. There's
Speaker 3: other Feeling Things accounts where the podcast one and when
Speaker 3: you'll see my face in Cat's face, so it should
Speaker 3: be pretty clear. And then we want to hear from
Speaker 3: you for couch talks or anything else. Do you want
Speaker 3: to share couch Talks will be our Q and a
Speaker 3: episode which will be every Thursday. So coming up in
Speaker 3: a couple of days, we'll have our very first couch
Speaker 3: talks and the email for that is Hey there at
Speaker 3: Feelingthings podcast dot com. Kat originally thought it was Hello.
Speaker 2: But yeah, sorry, let's see. I also got locked out
Speaker 2: of our email for like three weeks. I was silently panicking.
Speaker 2: But we're in.
Speaker 3: We're in, we are in. We're reading your emails. So Hey,
Speaker 3: there at Feeling Things at podcast dot com. Thank you
Speaker 3: for being here, and.
Speaker 2: We hope you have the day you need to have.
Speaker 2: Boom bye