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Speaker 1: This is Let's be clear, who's Shannon Dherny? Hi everybody,

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Speaker 1: I'm Dolores Catana from the Real Housewives of New Jersey

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Speaker 1: and I'm excited to be hosted Let's be clear this week.

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Speaker 1: If you've watched The Real Housewives of New Jersey, you

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Speaker 1: may know that I've been a breast cancer advocate for

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Speaker 1: several years. As a matter of fact, I've recently hosted

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Speaker 1: my annual softball game charity game benefiting the main Monoites

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Speaker 1: Medical Center's breast cancer treatment Clinic. It's an event that

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Speaker 1: raises money and awareness for breast cancer near and dear

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Speaker 1: to my heart, and it's grown over the years. Although

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Speaker 1: I never met Shannon, I admired her strength and how

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Speaker 1: open she was about her battle with breast cancer. Now,

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Speaker 1: I just want to say a little something about Shannon.

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Speaker 1: I always looked up to Shannon because she was a

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Speaker 1: tough girl. She was someone who I didn't look at

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Speaker 1: as a celebrity, although she was such a celebrity from

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Speaker 1: nine oh two one oh. If you didn't watch nine

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Speaker 1: oh two one oh, you just weren't normal growing up

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Speaker 1: when I did, we were like the same age. It

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Speaker 1: was the eighties and nineties, and she was even on

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Speaker 1: Little House on the Prairie. I mean, she was just

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Speaker 1: a force of nature, and she was unapologetically herself and

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Speaker 1: she never compromised any conviction she had for anything, and

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Speaker 1: in this business and especially at that time, that was

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Speaker 1: something that was so rare to see. So I looked

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Speaker 1: at Chen and not only as somebody who I loved

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Speaker 1: to watch on TV, but somebody who I would have

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Speaker 1: hung out with in high school, Like she was just

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Speaker 1: like a friend of mine, like I would have sat

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Speaker 1: next to in class, you know. And she never changed,

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Speaker 1: and even I felt so relatable to her as she grew,

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Speaker 1: she was still always very true to who she was,

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Speaker 1: and she took a lot of hits, you know, during

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Speaker 1: the years and now being in reality TV, I can't

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Speaker 1: imagine the stress that was. Like she was a lot

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Speaker 1: of times on an island by herself, and she was

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Speaker 1: a lot of times known as the bad girl, But

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Speaker 1: you know, I don't think that's anything about what she was.

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Speaker 1: I looked at her as somebody who loved very deeply,

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Speaker 1: who cared very deeply, who also hurt very deeply, and

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Speaker 1: she just didn't stand back and just let anything happen

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Speaker 1: that she didn't think was right. So although I never

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Speaker 1: got to tell her this in person, for that part,

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Speaker 1: which I'll get to, the other part that I want

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Speaker 1: to thank her for, for that part alone, I want

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Speaker 1: to say to you, Shannon, thank you. And it's sad

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Speaker 1: that I'm not able to say this to you in person,

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Speaker 1: but I feel in my heart that you're here. You're

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Speaker 1: here in this podcast, and this is so much a

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Speaker 1: part of you and your legacy. But there's a presence

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Speaker 1: in talking on this right now to me, and I

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Speaker 1: just want to say that, since I feel that you

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Speaker 1: are here, thank you, and I love you. And I

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Speaker 1: loved your relationship with your mom another relatable thing. I'm

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Speaker 1: very close with my mom, and you resonated a very

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Speaker 1: familiar relationship that I have also. And your mom loves

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Speaker 1: you so much. And when you talk to her, Shan

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Speaker 1: and I see the little girl in you. I saw

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Speaker 1: the little girl in you. Like in one of the

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Speaker 1: podcasts I watch, She's like, you were like mom, when

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Speaker 1: did I start? Or just just when you spoke to

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Speaker 1: your mom? You are the little You were the little

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Speaker 1: girl at heart that people forgot to see because you're

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Speaker 1: always so tough. And I also find that I think

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Speaker 1: you were very much an EmPATH. Your love for horses,

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Speaker 1: which my daughter also has another relatable thing. My daughter's

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Speaker 1: very tough exterior, but animals grounded her and she had

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Speaker 1: a love for horses that she found a very safe

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Speaker 1: spot with and her equestrian riding. And that was like,

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Speaker 1: you know something that I just always looked at you

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Speaker 1: as somebody who was just the girl next door. And

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Speaker 1: I love you for that. So thank you, Shannon, and

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Speaker 1: thanks Mama Rosa for giving us. Shannon. You're a true

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Speaker 1: mom and I look up to you very much for

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Speaker 1: your strength and for keeping this going. Then fast forward, Shannon. Also,

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Speaker 1: it was very open about her battle with breast cancer

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Speaker 1: and how strong she was and to see her sometimes

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Speaker 1: as as she was and not feeling well, she still

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Speaker 1: came out and she was present and she was giving

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Speaker 1: more of herself as she always did, you know. And

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Speaker 1: I and that's kind of scary. You know, it's scary

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Speaker 1: when you get that diagnosis. I had a scare not

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Speaker 1: too long ago, a few years ago, and when that

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Speaker 1: hits you, you're like, WHOA, when you get that call.

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Speaker 1: I went for a mammogram, and to tell you the truth,

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Speaker 1: a lot of women do not follow through with their

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Speaker 1: appointments and their healthcare because they just don't. It's not

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Speaker 1: on the forefront of our minds, right, And I was

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Speaker 1: the culprit of that. You know, I had a friend.

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Speaker 1: I went to a breast cancer event. It's the Pink

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Speaker 1: Runway and it's for women who they asked me to

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Speaker 1: come and co hosted, and it's for women who walk

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Speaker 1: the runway after they've been through chemo and or while

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Speaker 1: battling breast cancer and it makes them feel beautiful. They

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Speaker 1: get dressed up, their hair, their makeup. And I just

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Speaker 1: showed up to this event because of course I was

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Speaker 1: asked to and it was a benefit and I love

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Speaker 1: to be there whenever I can. And the guy running

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Speaker 1: the event, who started it because his mom had passed

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Speaker 1: away with breast cancer, Michael Brinkett, said to me after

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Speaker 1: we had gotten very close, and I was just like,

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Speaker 1: right away, I was talked. Once I saw this event,

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Speaker 1: I saw the hell everybody had gone through, and I

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Speaker 1: saw their love for the hospital and the doctors and

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Speaker 1: the nurses, and I just became very close, very quick

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Speaker 1: to this whole thing going on with breast cancer. But

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Speaker 1: not before this, you know, it just hadn't affected me.

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Speaker 1: It hadn't affected anyone in my life. Yes, through the years,

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Speaker 1: I had seen some moms in school battle, but nobody

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Speaker 1: I was that closed to at the time. And at

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Speaker 1: the end of the event, Michael Brinkatt, who had we've

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Speaker 1: become very close, goes, when's the last time you went

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Speaker 1: for a mammogram, Dolores, And I couldn't remember. And I

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Speaker 1: want to say when I did finally get my records,

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Speaker 1: it had been five years, but shameful to me. In

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Speaker 1: those five years, I had a facelift. I'll start from

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Speaker 1: the top down. I had a facelift. I had a

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Speaker 1: tummy tuck. I had liposuction, I had botox, I had lasers,

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Speaker 1: I had been on diets. Anything that would have esthetically

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Speaker 1: made me look better. I made the time for. So

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Speaker 1: he insisted that I go, and I did, and I

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Speaker 1: had a my mimmography and I also had a sonogram

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Speaker 1: and they found a calcification. Now, doctor Giuliano, who is

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Speaker 1: an angel on this earth, who found this needle pinpoint

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Speaker 1: how to be the tip of the tweezers, that's how

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Speaker 1: big the spot was found. It questioned it BIAPSI did it,

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Speaker 1: And I mean I'm getting ahead of myself. Let's just

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Speaker 1: say that I left there. I figured out routine mammogram,

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Speaker 1: no big deal, and I looked down in my phone.

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Speaker 1: I'm in the car on the way home, and I

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Speaker 1: see two mist calls from the doctor, and my whole

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Speaker 1: life started to flash before my eyes. And there was

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Speaker 1: no reason for me to be leaving there and saying that,

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Speaker 1: oh this is They're calling me two times for what

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Speaker 1: did I didn't forget my keys, I'm driving, my phone's

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Speaker 1: in my hand. I didn't forget my wallet, it's right here.

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Speaker 1: And I'm going through all these things like why did

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Speaker 1: I just get too missed calls right away? So they

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Speaker 1: had called, and they said that there was, you know,

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Speaker 1: reason for concern about this, and I had really, you know,

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Speaker 1: started to think of all the dumb things I had done,

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Speaker 1: and then I started to think. My life started to

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Speaker 1: flash before my eyes, and I'm saying I did all

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Speaker 1: this plastic surgery. I never took care of myself. I

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Speaker 1: never I haven't gone from mammogram five years. Shame on me,

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Speaker 1: Shame on me. What if I have a problem and

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Speaker 1: what if I didn't go and get checked sooner when

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Speaker 1: I could have prevented whatever is coming or whatever this

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Speaker 1: may be. And it was just like a crippling fear.

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Speaker 1: So then you know, of course they call their like

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Speaker 1: come back, so I did. I went back, and she

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Speaker 1: had explained to me that she didn't really have anything

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Speaker 1: to go by. She didn't she couldn't tell me if

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Speaker 1: it was new. She couldn't tell me if it had

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Speaker 1: been there last year or the year before or the

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Speaker 1: year before that. And that's another thing that can be

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Speaker 1: a problem because unless you keep up with yourself, you

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Speaker 1: won't know if it's something that could have been treated. Whatever.

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Speaker 1: It's just a big, huge mistake then. So anyway, it

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Speaker 1: was in a really tough spot. I had to go

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Speaker 1: and it's the biopsy wasn't easy, and she's like, listen,

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Speaker 1: I'm going to try to get the biopsy this way

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Speaker 1: and hopefully we wouldn't have to go in invasively, and

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Speaker 1: she was able to do it. And then it's waiting

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Speaker 1: for the results. So I mean, it's what a week

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Speaker 1: for results to come back, I want to say. And

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Speaker 1: in that week, the fear that you that you're overcome by,

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Speaker 1: and the emotions that you go through, the regrets, thinking

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Speaker 1: about your life, thinking about your kids maybe like you know,

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Speaker 1: I've I've raised my kids. I've been a single mother

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Speaker 1: for so long. Am I going to be able to

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Speaker 1: watch them? Is something wrong? Am I? Am I going

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Speaker 1: to die? You know? Do I have to go through

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Speaker 1: all cancer treatments? What's going to happen to me? Am

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Speaker 1: I going to be able to see my kids' lives

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Speaker 1: that I've worked so hard to get them through to

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Speaker 1: where they are now? Am I going to see them

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Speaker 1: live out their lives and see grandchildren? It's all these things,

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Speaker 1: and then you think about the people that maybe you

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Speaker 1: got in a fight with and you didn't make up with,

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Speaker 1: Like should I call it? It's just an overflow of

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Speaker 1: fear and emotions and to experience that is just horrifying.

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Speaker 1: So now I'm filming during all this, and I don't

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Speaker 1: want to tell anyone because a lot like me is

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Speaker 1: I internalize things. I go through things myself. I always have,

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Speaker 1: And I didn't want to tell my kids. I didn't

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Speaker 1: want to tell my friends, you know, I wanted to

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Speaker 1: keep it to myself. I didn't want my mom to worry,

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Speaker 1: and I just I did. I kept it to myself

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Speaker 1: off and I went through all this time waiting all

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Speaker 1: this time. A week, it's not a long time. It

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Speaker 1: feels like a year. And then closer to when the

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Speaker 1: results were coming, I did finally tell my kids, and

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Speaker 1: you know my mom. I don't think I did tell

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Speaker 1: my mom. I did tell my kids. I told my friends,

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Speaker 1: and then they decided to film my results. So when

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Speaker 1: doctor Gus called, I'm sorry, doctor Giuliano called, she didn't

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Speaker 1: tell me right away. She's like, uh, do you want

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Speaker 1: to you know, do you want to know right now?

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Speaker 1: Am I okay to say this? Are you alone? Because

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Speaker 1: there's hippa and everything else. I said, no, no, no,

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Speaker 1: I'm totally fine with hearing these results on camera. We're

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Speaker 1: filming it. That's fine. So doctor Juliano finally says it's negative,

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Speaker 1: and I was just like so relieved. And I remember

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Speaker 1: remember my son standing there and saying, you know, mom,

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Speaker 1: this could have gone such a different way for us.

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Speaker 1: Our lives in this moment could be so different with

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Speaker 1: the if the results were a different way. And I

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Speaker 1: realized how lucky I was, And I realized in that

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Speaker 1: moment that I cannot sit back and not push for

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Speaker 1: people and beg people and get it out there for

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Speaker 1: people to go for their checkups. And doctor Giuliano always

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Speaker 1: says a mammogram is like a seatbelt. You may not

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Speaker 1: need it, but when you do, it'll save your life.

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Speaker 1: And I cannot stress that enough. Early prevention is the

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Speaker 1: best perfection protection, because of course we all know the earlier,

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Speaker 1: the more treatable it is. Now had that not been benign,

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Speaker 1: had I had breast cancer and not been to it

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Speaker 1: for a mammogram in five years, my chances of surviving

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Speaker 1: that would have been much less like if at all.

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Speaker 1: So this softball fundraiser I do every year has become

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Speaker 1: such an outlet for me to show and to be

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Speaker 1: an advocate and awareness for women to go for their checkups.

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Speaker 1: And through this, through that airing on TV, what I

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Speaker 1: had gone through, and through my annual softball game, which

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Speaker 1: coming up next year will be my fifth year doing

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Speaker 1: it has saved so many lives. And Shannon also, I'm

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Speaker 1: sure has saved so many lives. And also another thing

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Speaker 1: that Shannon has done was had did with her podcast

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Speaker 1: and going through all her emotions and going through this

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Speaker 1: journey and sharing it with every is to other let

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Speaker 1: other people know that are going through it that they're

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Speaker 1: not alone and That is so important because I'm sure

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Speaker 1: that's another feeling that you would go through, like having

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Speaker 1: cancer and then having to tell your family and then

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Speaker 1: sharing it with people that don't understand what you're going through.

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Speaker 1: I can't understand what it's like to feel like to

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Speaker 1: be told that I have cancer. I can't, and that's

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Speaker 1: why I feel like it must be a lonely place

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Speaker 1: when you're diagnosed like that, to have to sit across

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Speaker 1: from somebody else that doesn't have it or can't understand

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Speaker 1: those emotions and tell them. So it's so important for

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Speaker 1: people to share what they're going through, and also by

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Speaker 1: sharing it, letting somebody else know, hey, look this, it

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Speaker 1: doesn't cancer doesn't discriminate. Breast cancer does not discriminate. We

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Speaker 1: need to stay on top of things our body. Also,

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Speaker 1: we need to listen to it. I had met a

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Speaker 1: young girl at the Pink Runway. She wasn't even eligible

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Speaker 1: for a mammogram. She was too young, and they're finding

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Speaker 1: cancer you're younger and younger. But her boyfriend found the

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Speaker 1: lump and it was a very aggressive cancer. She's doing

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Speaker 1: fine now. She had went through hell, but the fact

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Speaker 1: that she found it early enough again, it saved her life.

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Speaker 1: So there's also the fear factor of women being afraid

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Speaker 1: of the results. Is it gonna hurt? Is a mammo

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Speaker 1: gram gonna hurt? When I hear someone say to me

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Speaker 1: I'm afraid to go, I have to be blunt with them,

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Speaker 1: But I said, but are you afraid to die? Are

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Speaker 1: you more afraid to go and possibly find something that

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Speaker 1: you could be treated with than you are of being

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Speaker 1: afraid to find out that you waited too long and

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Speaker 1: now you can't be treated. So what happens with this

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Speaker 1: baseball game? Because it's such a happy my annual Maimoniti

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Speaker 1: football game. Because it's such a happy event, it kind

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Speaker 1: of puts a lighter sheds more of a like a

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Speaker 1: lighthearted thing on getting your mammogram. You know, they speak

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Speaker 1: to other people at the event. A lot of people

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Speaker 1: become friends, a lot of breast cancer survivors, a lot

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Speaker 1: of women going through treatment, a lot of girls who

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Speaker 1: watched the show who then went and pushed their moms

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Speaker 1: to go or push their friends to go. And till

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Speaker 1: this day, I'm still arguing with a few handful of

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Speaker 1: friends that still are afraid to go for a mammogram

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Speaker 1: and won't go and I want to shake them and say,

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Speaker 1: what the are you doing? Just go. I'll go with you,

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Speaker 1: I'll sit with you, I'll hold your hands. And you know,

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Speaker 1: I find in Maymonites there's no excuse. They will take you,

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Speaker 1: whether you have insurance or not. May Breast Care Center

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Speaker 1: is so kind. They turn no one away. As a

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Speaker 1: matter of fact, Maymonites Hospital has been open over one

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Speaker 1: hundred years, seven days a week, twenty four hours a day,

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Speaker 1: and they've never turned away anyone. So honestly, I just

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Speaker 1: want everyone to know that, please go, Please go for

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Speaker 1: your annual checkups. Please self care, do your exams. There's

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Speaker 1: so much help out there. Google it. How do I

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Speaker 1: do a self care exam? I don't care how old

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Speaker 1: you are, if you're in your twenties, give yourself your exams.

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Speaker 1: Go to the gynecologists. That's another thing. I'm guilty. I'm

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Speaker 1: going to tell you right now, I have to make

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Speaker 1: a gynocologist appointment. I haven't gone there either. I've been

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Speaker 1: I'm so busy. I missed my last year's annual appointment.

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Speaker 1: So you know what, as soon as I hang up

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Speaker 1: with you, I'm making that appointment. But yeah, sometimes also

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Speaker 1: you'll have a friend that may have cancer and you

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Speaker 1: don't know what to say to them. Just be there,

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Speaker 1: I was saying. Last night, I saw something on Instagram

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Speaker 1: and it was about a parent losing a child, and

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Speaker 1: I forget what celebrity it was. It was a comedian

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Speaker 1: who I was not familiar with, but one of his

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Speaker 1: friends showed up at the house and after they had

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Speaker 1: found out after their child had passed away, and he said,

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Speaker 1: what are you doing here? And his friend said, I'm

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Speaker 1: just here, And that guy said, I just needed somebody

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Speaker 1: to be there. There's nothing you could say to somebody,

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Speaker 1: right What could you possibly say to someone who's just

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Speaker 1: been diagnosed with cancer? But you could physically be sitting

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Speaker 1: next to them. You could sit there, you could let

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Speaker 1: them talk. Sometimes words there aren't the right words. I'm

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Speaker 1: not always the most articulate person. I don't know the

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Speaker 1: right words to say because it's not something I experienced.

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Speaker 1: But being someone who cares about someone, all you need

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Speaker 1: to do is just sit there. Like I learned that

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Speaker 1: from my mom. There's been times I've been angry in life,

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Speaker 1: or I've been going through something, whether it was my

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Speaker 1: divorce or having a hard time raising my kids, or

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Speaker 1: maybe if it was financial trouble or job trouble, and

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Speaker 1: I would vent on my mom. Now, growing up in

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Speaker 1: a strict Italian household, you don't vent, you don't talk

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Speaker 1: back to mom. You're not allowed to be in a

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Speaker 1: bad mood. But when it was time for me for

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Speaker 1: my mom to understand that I needed to be in

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Speaker 1: that place, she just let me be and take out

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Speaker 1: whatever I needed to on her. And I've learned to

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Speaker 1: be that way for other people in my life, whether

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Speaker 1: it be my kids, whether it be friends of mine

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Speaker 1: who are going battling cancer right now, or whatever it was, whatever,

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Speaker 1: a really good person and a really good support system

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Speaker 1: is there to take the brunt of whatever that person

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Speaker 1: can handle. Just throw it on me. I'm here for you.

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Speaker 1: That's the best I can do. So I just, you know,

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Speaker 1: there's just been so much, and I find that I

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Speaker 1: don't know what it is. I don't know if it's

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Speaker 1: my age, I don't know if it's the environmental things

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Speaker 1: going on in this world. I don't know what it is.

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Speaker 1: But I just hear more and more cancer diagnosis often,

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Speaker 1: like it's just every day you hear somebody else is sick,

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Speaker 1: And I'm like saying to myself. Is it the food?

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Speaker 1: Is it the stress? I mean, what's going on in

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Speaker 1: this world. I think that we also it's not just

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Speaker 1: about keeping up with your everyday treatments. It's also about lifestyle.

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Speaker 1: I think we have to be very careful about what

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Speaker 1: we're putting into our body and what our diet is.

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Speaker 1: And when I say diet, I don't just mean diet

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Speaker 1: in the way of food. I mean toxic diet. I

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Speaker 1: mean what we watch on TV, the lack of rest,

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Speaker 1: just the things in life that are just unhealthy. It's

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Speaker 1: not just food. It's not just what you drink. It's

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Speaker 1: not what you consume, it's what you let in. It's

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Speaker 1: your energy, I know. And not everybody believes in that stuff, right,

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Speaker 1: I didn't until my later years in life. Like growing up,

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Speaker 1: in the times that we grew up, there was no

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Speaker 1: such thing as good energy, you know, we just didn't

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Speaker 1: talk like that. But now later in life, I mean,

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Speaker 1: there's such a better quality of life, and there's so

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Speaker 1: much more knowledge out there that we could find to

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Speaker 1: calm ourselves, to realize that stress and harboring resentment and

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Speaker 1: hate and the gossip and the fighting in the world,

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Speaker 1: and what you let into your life actually settles at

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Speaker 1: different places in your body. This is not new news.

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Speaker 1: This is things that have been around for years, hundreds

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Speaker 1: of years, where we've been warned about this but maybe

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Speaker 1: didn't pay attention to it. So I also do believe

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Speaker 1: that a big part of getting physically sick in life

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Speaker 1: is stress. Stress will kill you. That's not just a saying,

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Speaker 1: and like holding on to things, not letting things go,

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Speaker 1: even having a lot of clutter in your house, that's unhealthy.

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Speaker 1: So I've also found like meditation for health. I'm really

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Speaker 1: going to try to now that we're taking a little

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Speaker 1: break from filming, I'm really going to try to educate

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Speaker 1: myself more on these things and share it more on

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Speaker 1: my platforms. Also, I mean, let's talk about menopause right now.

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Speaker 1: That's another thing that could drive you crazy. There is

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Speaker 1: just so much we don't know as women about things

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Speaker 1: that affect us as women. There's so little to know

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Speaker 1: about menopause, the mental health, anxiety it brings on, the waking,

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Speaker 1: all things like that. And I'm just now taking my platform,

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Speaker 1: I'm going to take it to a different direction. And

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Speaker 1: Shannon was a great example of how to do this.

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Speaker 1: So again, another thing I want to thank her for

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Speaker 1: and just you know, whatever I can do, So, you know,

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Speaker 1: I just want to leave everybody with my experience in

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Speaker 1: my scare how lucky I was to say, well, I

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Speaker 1: dodged a bullet this time, but maybe not next time.

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Speaker 1: And I think it's all of our duty to push

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Speaker 1: people around us that we love, or even just sometimes

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Speaker 1: you meet people in the hair salon and be like, hey,

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Speaker 1: you know, yeah, I'm going for my mamogram. When's the

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Speaker 1: last time you do one for yours? And like just

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Speaker 1: bring it up, just try to. I think as much

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Speaker 1: as we can advocate and bring awareness to breast cancer,

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Speaker 1: women's health, just having a healthier, happier lifestyle. There's so

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Speaker 1: much craziness in this world right now. I think if

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Speaker 1: more people got together to spread positivity and health and

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Speaker 1: all the good things instead of the nasty gossip. I

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Speaker 1: think that's what our job is here to do now,

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Speaker 1: and that's what I'm going to be working on. So

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Speaker 1: I want to thank everybody for having me and listening.

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Speaker 1: And I love you, Shannon, I love you, Mama Rosa,

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Speaker 1: I love you and thank you. And I just hope

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Speaker 1: all health and happiness and good energy for everyone