WEBVTT - Ep 24: The Fan

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<v Speaker 1>Novel.

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<v Speaker 2>This show contains adult material, references to drugs and swearing.

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<v Speaker 2>You have been warned.

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<v Speaker 3>Do you like that he was a fan? No?

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<v Speaker 2>I mean he'd taken the day off. What's kind of stressful,

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<v Speaker 2>Like that's a huge pressure.

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<v Speaker 3>He worked in TV, he worked, people died that day.

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<v Speaker 4>I'm a savage.

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<v Speaker 2>Are you bored of modern dating? Meeting the same people

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<v Speaker 2>from the same apps in the same bar You've only

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<v Speaker 2>chosen because it's close to your house and you can

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<v Speaker 2>make your usual quick getaway. It's time to change the

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<v Speaker 2>narrative on how we find love. It's time to start

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<v Speaker 2>looking for love in all the wrong places. I'm going

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<v Speaker 2>on a wild dating adventure, only picking people who were

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<v Speaker 2>the total opposite of my type. And after twenty eight

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<v Speaker 2>of these dates in two months, will I find that

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<v Speaker 2>special someone? Or Well, this experiment proved that I should

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<v Speaker 2>just give up on dating altogether. It's time to find out.

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<v Speaker 2>I'm Grace Campbell and this is twenty eight dates later. Okay,

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<v Speaker 2>So this week, Dan, I went on a date with

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<v Speaker 2>someone called Harry who lived in Nottingham. This is when

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<v Speaker 2>I was on tour a few weeks ago, a.

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<v Speaker 1>Midland's boy exactly the milf a WMC West Midland.

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<v Speaker 3>Sele.

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<v Speaker 2>Well, that's you know, one step closer to me going

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<v Speaker 2>on a date.

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<v Speaker 3>With you really sharing me.

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<v Speaker 2>Now, we went to like a mini golf that was

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<v Speaker 2>sex themed, which was reallychic. Actually like I liked it.

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<v Speaker 2>There was like loads of dildos on the floor.

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<v Speaker 3>And is that not a drugsposition? Crazy golf and sex.

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<v Speaker 1>I can't think of an environment that's least sexual than

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<v Speaker 1>crazy golf.

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<v Speaker 2>I actually loved it.

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<v Speaker 3>But did it turn you on? No?

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<v Speaker 2>But I would have been turned on if I was

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<v Speaker 2>there was you know, someone that I wanted to find, you.

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<v Speaker 1>Know what, I can actually say that like I think

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<v Speaker 1>sometimes that anal sex experience is trying to knock a

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<v Speaker 1>ball through a windmill to try and get it into

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<v Speaker 1>a tiny hole.

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<v Speaker 2>That would have you would have felt really seen. I

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<v Speaker 2>think at this space I would have felt really represented.

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<v Speaker 3>I want to go because I'm sick of feeling invisible.

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<v Speaker 2>Yes exactly.

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<v Speaker 1>If it means I have to step into a sex themed,

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<v Speaker 1>crazy golf environment to be seen, I'm willing.

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<v Speaker 2>You would have felt really understood. I think especially by

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<v Speaker 2>the room that was just like it's just like there

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<v Speaker 2>was a room that was like blood everywhere. It was

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<v Speaker 2>like a butcher's Wow, Like, what I do you know?

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<v Speaker 2>Two people on Friday nights? This is like a sweety

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<v Speaker 2>tod's theme?

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<v Speaker 1>Is that?

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<v Speaker 2>I think that's a leg? That's a human leg? Wait?

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<v Speaker 3>How is that sexual?

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<v Speaker 2>I guess like murder.

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<v Speaker 1>Killing this pussy exactly murdered this bussy. Daddy murdered this

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<v Speaker 1>bussy murder sex. Wait, was that that's a that's a

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<v Speaker 1>Shakespeare quote?

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, that was that was Shakespeare.

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah a fellow mmm now murderous dispussy Yeah?

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<v Speaker 3>Got the bar? Wait? Yeah, I mean the different rooms

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<v Speaker 3>and the different themes.

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<v Speaker 2>Oh, there was like loads. There was like one that

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<v Speaker 2>was like cocaine themed, which was just like, you know.

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<v Speaker 3>Random, Wait, how is a cocaine themed?

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<v Speaker 2>Did you get loads of coke like bags? And then

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<v Speaker 2>there was like a big white ic thing like the

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<v Speaker 2>Titanic thing?

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<v Speaker 3>But are people banging after doing as a coke? I

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<v Speaker 3>don't know if coke really helps me out.

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<v Speaker 2>People weren't fucking there, Dan, this is mad. Oh okay,

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<v Speaker 2>just for someone listening, there is a big vagina hole okay.

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<v Speaker 2>Oh oh look, oh look at my god. That's I

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<v Speaker 2>just got a hole in one in the pussy. Let

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<v Speaker 2>it be known.

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<v Speaker 5>I don't think I never got a hold in one

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<v Speaker 5>of the It was.

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<v Speaker 2>Me and this man, and then the only other people

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<v Speaker 2>there were these four old women from Nottingham who were

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<v Speaker 2>like chain smokers. They gave me some of their drink,

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<v Speaker 2>which I probably shouldn't have had on reflection, because I

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<v Speaker 2>shouldn't have been sharing germs with people like on my tour.

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<v Speaker 1>Oh fuck, you've.

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<v Speaker 4>Got both standard. I know, I'm really nervous. They look

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<v Speaker 4>really good. What is that name?

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<v Speaker 2>And let me say that I've.

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<v Speaker 4>Got that's so nice. Oh my god.

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<v Speaker 2>It was such a weird combination. It was like some

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<v Speaker 2>kind of like cherry vodka with coke. And then I

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<v Speaker 2>was like, oh my god, this is amazing. I'm going

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<v Speaker 2>to start drinking this all the time, obviously lying because

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<v Speaker 2>I just wanted these women to hang out of me

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<v Speaker 2>because it's quite bored on this day.

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<v Speaker 3>Right, that might be my new drink.

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<v Speaker 2>You know. That's really nice, well, so simple and everywhere

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<v Speaker 2>has those ingredients that every part has that.

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<v Speaker 3>I mean, I wish you're on a date with the

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<v Speaker 3>women more than the guy at this point.

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<v Speaker 2>I just I just feel in a lot of dating

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<v Speaker 2>situations if I'm on a date and I bump into

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<v Speaker 2>like a female friend or like even a fan, I

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<v Speaker 2>usually would rather be with that woman than with the

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<v Speaker 2>man that I'm with.

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<v Speaker 1>You know, there's always that woman who's like in the

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<v Speaker 1>bar and she's got like proxyblonte and she's wearing like

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<v Speaker 1>some kind of animal print. She's got way too much

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<v Speaker 1>mascara on. Like that's actually who I want to grow

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<v Speaker 1>up and be. Yeah, like if I can have exactly.

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<v Speaker 2>And it's like those are the women that, like when

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<v Speaker 2>you're on a really bad date, you get talking to

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<v Speaker 2>one of them and then you're like, save me.

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<v Speaker 3>Yeah, I just want the confidence of like a stepmom

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<v Speaker 3>and Paul.

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<v Speaker 2>I have never been on an activity date before this,

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<v Speaker 2>I'll be honest.

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<v Speaker 3>But what defines it.

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<v Speaker 2>Well, it means not just going for a drink, like

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<v Speaker 2>something that's like activity based. I mean, I don't know

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<v Speaker 2>how better I could explain it or articulate, and.

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<v Speaker 3>I guess you could probably do a better job.

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<v Speaker 2>Than activity, like an activity based date.

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<v Speaker 3>Activity from the Latin word the fact.

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<v Speaker 2>What you said earlier, like rock climbing for a hike.

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<v Speaker 3>What about a gallery?

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, that is an activity?

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<v Speaker 3>So are we talking more about like sports leaning.

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<v Speaker 2>No, no, no, we're talking a gallery.

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<v Speaker 3>Never been to a gallery on a date?

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<v Speaker 2>No, I've been to a gallery with a boyfriend, but

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<v Speaker 2>I've never been on a date to a gallery. I

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<v Speaker 2>fucking hate.

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<v Speaker 3>Galleries people, No one likes galleries.

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<v Speaker 2>So why would I want to go on a date

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<v Speaker 2>to a gallery.

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<v Speaker 3>To get fingered by a money I've never.

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<v Speaker 2>Had sex in the gallery. Wow, No, I know, and

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<v Speaker 2>I've always outside.

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<v Speaker 3>What's that? Oh my god, they've all got pitchforks. I

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<v Speaker 3>gonna got fire and pitchforks. Get quick, get out. She's

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<v Speaker 3>never had sex in a gallery. That's why Lisa smiling.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, because she knows she's sucking. And Grace Campbell hasn't.

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<v Speaker 3>Yeah, exactly.

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<v Speaker 2>Smug bitch, Such a smug bitch.

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<v Speaker 3>Honestly though, is it even good? No?

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<v Speaker 2>I don't think it's good.

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<v Speaker 3>Tiny good.

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<v Speaker 2>I don't think it's good. But she's smiling, and she's

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<v Speaker 2>looking at us all.

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<v Speaker 3>Sorry, this stamp on the wall.

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<v Speaker 2>I know it's so far.

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<v Speaker 3>I'm okay.

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<v Speaker 2>She just looks very, very full of herself.

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<v Speaker 3>Just looks full of gas. That's a smirk to do

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<v Speaker 3>before you find.

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<v Speaker 2>She's got the ships.

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<v Speaker 1>If you want to make me sweat on a day,

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<v Speaker 1>I'm out. I ain't rock climbing. I ain't like, I ain't.

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<v Speaker 2>No, And also that's just very active to me if

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<v Speaker 2>you want to do that on a day. My parents,

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<v Speaker 2>so we go swimming at the lido like no where

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<v Speaker 2>we live, and there's a sauna and my dad was

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<v Speaker 2>once in the sauna at seven in the morning and

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<v Speaker 2>there was a couple on a first day in the

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<v Speaker 2>sauna at seven in the morning. They had just gone

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<v Speaker 2>for a freezing called swim in the winter, and then

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<v Speaker 2>they were in a sauna on the first ay at

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<v Speaker 2>seven in the morning and my dad interrogated it so

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<v Speaker 2>much because he was like so confused by it. Then

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<v Speaker 2>the girl messaged me on Instagram and was like, your

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<v Speaker 2>dad really like made this situation very uncomfortable. Earlier I

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<v Speaker 2>was like, don't blame my dad for acting day at

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<v Speaker 2>seven in and my dad was wanking.

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<v Speaker 3>Off watching you.

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<v Speaker 1>I was outside watching the Men in the woods fucking

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<v Speaker 1>with my dog.

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<v Speaker 3>It's a family business.

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<v Speaker 2>This guy wasn't like he was nice, you know, he

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<v Speaker 2>was a really sweet guy and he actually was a fan.

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<v Speaker 3>Wow. I mean, at this point when.

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<v Speaker 5>I don't need like discovered who you were like a

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<v Speaker 5>couple of months ago, right, So.

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<v Speaker 2>You know I am love that. It's the first time

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<v Speaker 2>that someone's admitted it. So you're coming to my show?

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<v Speaker 5>There were tickets, but there are reason I didn't. So

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<v Speaker 5>I'm meant to be working today, right, okay, and I'm

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<v Speaker 5>actually working down south.

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<v Speaker 3>So I found out bout this. I asked my bus.

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<v Speaker 5>I was like, can I just work from home?

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<v Speaker 2>Oh my god, wow, wow, So your bunking work for this?

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<v Speaker 3>What?

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, he'd taken the day off work so that he

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<v Speaker 2>could come and do this.

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<v Speaker 3>That that's too much.

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<v Speaker 2>Well, say, for example, and you say, if I got

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<v Speaker 2>asked to go on a date with, like, you know,

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<v Speaker 2>someone I was obsessed with me, I would take the

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<v Speaker 2>day of work to do it.

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah, But I tell you what I wouldn't be doing

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<v Speaker 1>traveling to note to go to a crazy golf you

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<v Speaker 1>know what I mean. I wouldn't be doing that, no

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<v Speaker 1>matter what theema cre the golf was. I'm just never

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<v Speaker 1>you want to firstly, you want to take me on

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<v Speaker 1>a date, and it's any kind of sport related thing,

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<v Speaker 1>I would.

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<v Speaker 2>Says golf for sport is ridiculous. Then what is it activity?

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<v Speaker 3>Yeah, I guess I don't know.

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<v Speaker 1>I saw recently this video where they've got like pillow

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<v Speaker 1>fighting championships. Have you seen that, Like people in the

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<v Speaker 1>wrestling ring with pillows, like bashing each other out.

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<v Speaker 2>But that's quite active crazy.

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<v Speaker 3>Golf is not very active mentally it is.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, I mean, this was a very mentally simulating hour.

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<v Speaker 3>Of that's just the co crew.

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<v Speaker 2>Well, I have brought some from Thank God, me and

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<v Speaker 2>the four O A p s.

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<v Speaker 3>Do you like that he was a fan?

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<v Speaker 2>The thing is like, it's I don't know what to

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<v Speaker 2>say in this situation because I am more and more

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<v Speaker 2>like if somebody doesn't know who I am, I'm want

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<v Speaker 2>to date with, Like how dare you not know who

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<v Speaker 2>I am? But then also it's like I am actually

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<v Speaker 2>like a bit you know, I thought that was sweet.

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<v Speaker 2>The thing is about that is that makes me feel like,

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<v Speaker 2>as a sort of people pleaser on dates. It makes

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<v Speaker 2>me feel like, oh, well, this is fine then because

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<v Speaker 2>even if this date like doesn't go well, like he's

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<v Speaker 2>happy because he's met me. Yet at the last result,

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<v Speaker 2>where's your respect?

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<v Speaker 3>You're not allowed him without a respect?

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<v Speaker 2>AAA? He had the AA pass for the hour in

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<v Speaker 2>the golf course.

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<v Speaker 1>I mean, I don't know I feel like for me,

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<v Speaker 1>if anyone has seen me performing fantasy, firstly, I think, yeah,

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<v Speaker 1>exactly like because also especially if you've seen like seance

0:11:42.600 --> 0:11:45.040
<v Speaker 1>like the drag act I do, it's like have a

0:11:45.080 --> 0:11:46.880
<v Speaker 1>clown fetish.

0:11:47.000 --> 0:11:51.320
<v Speaker 2>I can't imagine like if I was a man watching

0:11:51.360 --> 0:11:53.040
<v Speaker 2>you and a woman actually loads of women want to

0:11:53.040 --> 0:11:58.559
<v Speaker 2>fuck you that you're very like attractive when you perform. Yeah,

0:11:58.559 --> 0:12:02.280
<v Speaker 2>well thank you, let's should we wrap this outset? Well,

0:12:02.280 --> 0:12:07.160
<v Speaker 2>I've got him, but I'm not sure if me because

0:12:07.240 --> 0:12:10.160
<v Speaker 2>I'm like just talking about how much I hate everyone

0:12:10.200 --> 0:12:11.040
<v Speaker 2>I've ever had sex.

0:12:11.880 --> 0:12:13.679
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, I guess it's hard, like because also, like if

0:12:13.679 --> 0:12:16.160
<v Speaker 1>I'm doing like dance, stand up is very sexual and

0:12:16.200 --> 0:12:18.320
<v Speaker 1>I often think, like, am I really over sexualizing myself

0:12:18.400 --> 0:12:21.079
<v Speaker 1>like in this moment that makes people not attracted to

0:12:21.080 --> 0:12:22.280
<v Speaker 1>me as much because I seem like a slot?

0:12:22.440 --> 0:12:24.520
<v Speaker 2>No, I don't think so. I No, definitely not that.

0:12:24.640 --> 0:12:27.840
<v Speaker 2>I mean, I wouldn't even border into that territory because

0:12:27.840 --> 0:12:30.280
<v Speaker 2>it's not that. It's more you know, my problem has

0:12:30.280 --> 0:12:32.240
<v Speaker 2>always been that people watch really stand up and they

0:12:32.240 --> 0:12:36.960
<v Speaker 2>sexualize me too much, which annoys me. But I just

0:12:37.120 --> 0:12:39.520
<v Speaker 2>now like met barely any man come and watch Redeo

0:12:39.600 --> 0:12:41.960
<v Speaker 2>stand up. No man is ever going to be like

0:12:42.200 --> 0:12:46.000
<v Speaker 2>my number one fam because I'm like, I've created myself

0:12:46.000 --> 0:12:48.440
<v Speaker 2>to be someone that like women love, So it's never

0:12:48.440 --> 0:12:50.600
<v Speaker 2>going to be someone who's like on the date because

0:12:50.600 --> 0:12:52.439
<v Speaker 2>they like want to get a piece of like whatever

0:12:52.480 --> 0:12:55.640
<v Speaker 2>it is I've got, because they're not my to target audience,

0:12:55.720 --> 0:12:59.079
<v Speaker 2>you know what I mean. But then it did make

0:12:59.120 --> 0:13:02.160
<v Speaker 2>me feel less badd for like the fact that I'd

0:13:02.200 --> 0:13:04.000
<v Speaker 2>gotten this guy to like come on a podcast, Like

0:13:04.040 --> 0:13:05.920
<v Speaker 2>I just felt less like bad about like the sort

0:13:05.960 --> 0:13:07.520
<v Speaker 2>of like ask of it. And then I felt less

0:13:07.559 --> 0:13:09.280
<v Speaker 2>because it was also like he'd taken the day off.

0:13:09.320 --> 0:13:11.839
<v Speaker 2>What I mean, that's that's kind of stressful, Like that's

0:13:11.840 --> 0:13:15.960
<v Speaker 2>a huge pressure shot. He worked in TV, he worked

0:13:16.480 --> 0:13:20.559
<v Speaker 2>people died that day. What is my life?

0:13:24.040 --> 0:13:26.120
<v Speaker 3>What? Sorry?

0:13:26.120 --> 0:13:26.320
<v Speaker 4>Sorry?

0:13:26.360 --> 0:13:28.920
<v Speaker 3>What is my life? Sat here talking about your life?

0:13:29.559 --> 0:13:32.440
<v Speaker 1>Going to like I didn't experience it myself, I'm talking

0:13:32.440 --> 0:13:34.479
<v Speaker 1>about you experience it seem.

0:13:34.960 --> 0:13:36.800
<v Speaker 2>Wait till we talk about yesterdays, say damn, because you

0:13:36.840 --> 0:13:40.040
<v Speaker 2>know we went to a fucking Weatherspoons. I mean we

0:13:40.080 --> 0:13:43.480
<v Speaker 2>went orph in Camden. Have you ever been to ice Worf?

0:13:43.960 --> 0:13:46.400
<v Speaker 3>What the one by the on the canal? Baby we've

0:13:46.400 --> 0:13:46.920
<v Speaker 3>all been there.

0:13:47.000 --> 0:13:47.880
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, we used to go.

0:13:48.000 --> 0:13:50.760
<v Speaker 3>That's the only place that we go. The spits there.

0:13:51.080 --> 0:13:51.600
<v Speaker 3>It's great.

0:13:51.679 --> 0:13:54.280
<v Speaker 2>But ye, well that's because it's apparol spirits. Like it's

0:13:54.400 --> 0:13:56.160
<v Speaker 2>very easy to be aperol spirits.

0:13:56.240 --> 0:13:57.760
<v Speaker 1>Number one I'm saying is like to have an aperol

0:13:57.800 --> 0:13:59.920
<v Speaker 1>spirits outside of Weatherspoons by Canal in Camden.

0:14:01.559 --> 0:14:04.200
<v Speaker 2>Two crackheads fucking and like some pigeons on the floor.

0:14:04.280 --> 0:14:13.400
<v Speaker 1>I don't remember seeing you there. Okay, so was this

0:14:13.480 --> 0:14:15.080
<v Speaker 1>state giving? Was it romance?

0:14:15.960 --> 0:14:18.240
<v Speaker 2>The thing is that I actually thought he was a

0:14:18.320 --> 0:14:21.480
<v Speaker 2>nice guy, and I appreciate that he took the day

0:14:21.520 --> 0:14:23.160
<v Speaker 2>off of work to come and hang out with me.

0:14:23.320 --> 0:14:25.400
<v Speaker 2>I mean, I don't appreciate it like that's most people

0:14:25.440 --> 0:14:27.760
<v Speaker 2>would if they were given the opportunity. Yeah, of course,

0:14:27.840 --> 0:14:31.280
<v Speaker 2>I actually would have liked to have done the sexual

0:14:31.360 --> 0:14:33.920
<v Speaker 2>crazy golf with someone that I had some more like

0:14:34.000 --> 0:14:36.760
<v Speaker 2>chemistry with. I know you hate activity based dates, so

0:14:36.800 --> 0:14:39.680
<v Speaker 2>I won't be inviting you. Like it was actually fun

0:14:40.040 --> 0:14:42.640
<v Speaker 2>and I would have liked to have been there with

0:14:42.680 --> 0:14:45.800
<v Speaker 2>someone that I could have like sneakily done some fingering

0:14:45.840 --> 0:14:47.360
<v Speaker 2>with in like the murder room.

0:14:47.840 --> 0:14:50.640
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, if there are any medical professionals out there listening

0:14:50.680 --> 0:14:53.600
<v Speaker 1>to this. I need to figure out what is the

0:14:53.800 --> 0:14:57.000
<v Speaker 1>mental disorder where someone has enjoyed themselves as sex based

0:14:57.040 --> 0:14:59.920
<v Speaker 1>crazy golf day, because I think it's really specific, but

0:15:00.000 --> 0:15:01.560
<v Speaker 1>I think it could be universal as well.

0:15:01.920 --> 0:15:03.400
<v Speaker 3>Please get in touch and it.

0:15:03.320 --> 0:15:06.160
<v Speaker 2>Could save lives. I think if we can find a definition.

0:15:05.800 --> 0:15:07.760
<v Speaker 1>Because there are too many people going to a blood

0:15:07.840 --> 0:15:09.760
<v Speaker 1>bathroom in a crazy so many.

0:15:09.640 --> 0:15:13.280
<v Speaker 2>People living in a stigmatized situation where they feel shame.

0:15:15.760 --> 0:15:19.640
<v Speaker 2>Next time on twenty eight Dates Later, I've been a

0:15:19.680 --> 0:15:23.720
<v Speaker 2>serial relationship girls as I was like sixteen. That is crazy.

0:15:24.160 --> 0:15:26.240
<v Speaker 4>So if there's anything I ever regret is that I

0:15:26.280 --> 0:15:27.040
<v Speaker 4>didn't date more.

0:15:27.160 --> 0:15:27.400
<v Speaker 1>Yeah.

0:15:27.720 --> 0:15:29.880
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, so you're making me not regretted.

0:15:33.640 --> 0:15:41.000
<v Speaker 4>Around for me, I'm a savage.

0:15:41.000 --> 0:15:44.359
<v Speaker 2>Twenty eight Dates Later is produced by Novel for iHeartRadio.

0:15:44.800 --> 0:15:48.480
<v Speaker 2>For more from Novel, visit novel dot Audio. The series

0:15:48.520 --> 0:15:51.720
<v Speaker 2>is presented by me Grace Campbell with help from Roz

0:15:51.800 --> 0:15:55.960
<v Speaker 2>Pursu and Dan White. The producer is Diggery Way. The

0:15:56.040 --> 0:15:59.920
<v Speaker 2>executive producer is Claire Broughton. Our editors are my Filly

0:16:00.160 --> 0:16:04.320
<v Speaker 2>Raw and Max O'Brien. Production management from Cherie Houston and

0:16:04.440 --> 0:16:08.240
<v Speaker 2>Charlotte Wall. Willard Foxton is our creative director of development

0:16:17.440 --> 0:16:17.800
<v Speaker 1>Novel